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Полотенчик
Towelie
Сезон: 05Серия: 08
Описание
Для того, чтобы вернуть свою игровую приставку, друзьям надо решить проблему с живым полотенцем, за которым охотятся военные и учёные.
Субтитры
- 00:00:09,010 --> 00:00:10,094 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:10,219 --> 00:00:12,179 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,304 --> 00:00:13,639 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:13,764 --> 00:00:15,349 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:16,642 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,644 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,769 --> 00:00:20,312 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:21,981 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
- 00:00:22,106 --> 00:00:23,357 ♪ Headin' on up to South Park ♪
- 00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:25,192 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:28,738 --> 00:00:30,156 ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:30,281 --> 00:00:31,615 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:34,869 Ah, killed you.
- 00:00:34,994 --> 00:00:35,619 I blew your head off.
- 00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:38,789 Jesus, is Cartman still in the bathroom?
- 00:00:38,914 --> 00:00:40,249 Hey, Cartman, we're almost to level 20!
- 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:41,417 You giving birth in there or what?
- 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:42,793 Let a man take a crap.
- 00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:44,420 Dude, he's in there punishing my toilet.
- 00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:45,671 Yeah, that poor, poor thing.
- 00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:47,173 Come on, Cartman, you're missing the game!
- 00:00:47,298 --> 00:00:48,507 I'm almost done, you smart asses.
- 00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:50,718 I'm just wiping my-- what the hell is that?
- 00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:54,346 You guys, look what I found in the trash can
- 00:00:54,472 --> 00:00:55,806 in Stan's bathroom.
- 00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:57,933 It's like a bloody cotton thing wrapped in toilet paper.
- 00:00:58,059 --> 00:00:59,351 Why did you pull it out of the trash?
- 00:00:59,477 --> 00:01:01,228 Because I thought it was a jelly doughnut,
- 00:01:01,353 --> 00:01:02,688 but look, check it out. It's all bloody.
- 00:01:02,813 --> 00:01:04,356 Are you boys <i>still</i> playing that video game?
- 00:01:04,482 --> 00:01:05,566 Yeah; hey, Mom, Cartman found a bloody cotton thing
- 00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:07,151 in the bathroom.
- 00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:08,861 Look. But I don't think it's for using.
- 00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:10,696 I think it's just for looking through.
- 00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:12,323 Eric, put that down. - Why?
- 00:01:12,448 --> 00:01:14,450 Just go put it back in the trash can.
- 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,118 But it's, like, all bloody. It might be alive.
- 00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:17,536 No, that-- that came from me.
- 00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:18,746 Just put it away.
- 00:01:18,871 --> 00:01:19,789 This came out of you?
- 00:01:19,914 --> 00:01:21,373 You just left it in the trash can?
- 00:01:21,499 --> 00:01:23,751 "You shouldn't have done that. He's just a boy.
- 00:01:23,876 --> 00:01:24,877 Poor little feller."
- 00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:26,212 What is it, Mom?
- 00:01:26,337 --> 00:01:27,546 Yeah, what is it, Mrs. Marsh?
- 00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:30,132 Boys, that's a... feminine thing, alright?
- 00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:31,884 It's a personal woman thing.
- 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:34,512 I tell you what.
- 00:01:34,637 --> 00:01:36,347 If you'll just drop the whole thing right now,
- 00:01:36,472 --> 00:01:37,640 I'll buy you that new video game console
- 00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:38,849 you've been wanting.
- 00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:40,601 The 2001 Okama Gamesphere?
- 00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:42,228 Sure. - Cool!
- 00:01:42,353 --> 00:01:44,480 Wow, this is like finding trash can gold, you guys.
- 00:01:45,564 --> 00:01:48,234 There it is, the Okama Gamesphere.
- 00:01:48,359 --> 00:01:50,611 Dude, it's got 128 gigahertz D-RAM.
- 00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:51,821 What's that?
- 00:01:51,946 --> 00:01:53,489 I don't know, but it kicks ass.
- 00:01:56,909 --> 00:01:58,744 Wow, dude, you're the luckiest kid in South Park.
- 00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:00,246 Hey, this is all of ours.
- 00:02:00,371 --> 00:02:01,705 I'm the one who found Stan's aborted brother
- 00:02:01,831 --> 00:02:03,374 in the trash can
- 00:02:03,499 --> 00:02:04,583 and blackmailed his mom into getting the Gamesphere.
- 00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:06,127 Alright, alright, but you guys got to see
- 00:02:06,252 --> 00:02:07,586 if you can sleep over for the rest of the weekend.
- 00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:09,588 It's Saturday at 2:30. That means we have...
- 00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:11,715 39 hours to play Gamesphere until school on Monday.
- 00:02:11,841 --> 00:02:12,675 Whoo-hoo! - Awesome!
- 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,385 Oh, crap. What?
- 00:02:14,510 --> 00:02:16,178 I'm supposed to go to the lake with my family tomorrow
- 00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:17,596 and swim and play in the stupid sun.
- 00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:18,514 Dude, we got Gamesphere.
- 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:19,765 I know, I know.
- 00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:20,850 Well, look, I'll stay over anyway
- 00:02:20,975 --> 00:02:22,643 so I can play for... 18 hours.
- 00:02:22,768 --> 00:02:24,311 And then I'll go to the lake.
- 00:02:24,436 --> 00:02:25,938 Don't forget to bring a towel.
- 00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:27,064 What?
- 00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:28,566 When you get out of the water,
- 00:02:28,691 --> 00:02:29,733 you need to dry off right away
- 00:02:29,859 --> 00:02:31,026 to avoid catching a cold.
- 00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:32,695 That's why Towelie says:
- 00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,989 "Don't forget to bring a towel."
- 00:02:35,114 --> 00:02:38,868 Okay. - Thanks, Towelie.
- 00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:40,661 You want to get high?
- 00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:43,789 No.
- 00:02:43,914 --> 00:02:45,082 Anyway, that will give me plenty of time
- 00:02:45,207 --> 00:02:46,750 playing video games.
- 00:02:46,876 --> 00:02:48,586 Kyle, I think you underestimate Okama Gamesphere.
- 00:02:48,711 --> 00:02:49,587 Here you go, boys.
- 00:02:49,712 --> 00:02:50,421 Aah!!
- 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,550 Okay, turn it on.
- 00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,385 Okama Gamesphere!
- 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,845 Whoa!
- 00:02:57,970 --> 00:03:00,806 Thirst for Blood!
- 00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:02,474 Oh yeah, Thirst for Blood; bring it.
- 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:03,642 Oh, this is so cool.
- 00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:04,643 Bring it, bring it!
- 00:03:08,022 --> 00:03:09,607 Good night, boys. Don't stay up too late.
- 00:03:09,732 --> 00:03:11,483 Good night, Mom. Thanks for Gamesphere.
- 00:03:11,609 --> 00:03:12,776 Yeah, but you still shouldn't have done that;
- 00:03:12,902 --> 00:03:13,903 He's just a boy.
- 00:03:14,028 --> 00:03:16,030 What? Nothing, come on, Randy.
- 00:03:18,616 --> 00:03:20,326 Yeah, Mom, I can't go to the lake.
- 00:03:20,451 --> 00:03:21,785 No, Stan's having emotional problems,
- 00:03:21,911 --> 00:03:22,912 and we need to help see him through it.
- 00:03:23,037 --> 00:03:24,330 He's got--what is it?
- 00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:25,414 Date Rape Psychosis.
- 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:26,582 Date Rape Something.
- 00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:27,958 Yeah, okay, I will.
- 00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:29,293 Okay, thanks, Mom.
- 00:03:29,418 --> 00:03:30,294 I don't have to go outside!
- 00:03:30,419 --> 00:03:31,295 Awesome!
- 00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:32,838 She said it's fine,
- 00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:35,007 but that I still have to go to baseball practice tonight.
- 00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:36,884 Oh, yeah, we've got baseball practice today. God dammit!
- 00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:37,801 We shouldn't have this many responsibilities.
- 00:03:37,927 --> 00:03:39,678 We're children.
- 00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:41,513 It's alright; we can still play for six more hours,
- 00:03:41,639 --> 00:03:42,806 and then we'll go play baseball.
- 00:03:42,932 --> 00:03:43,724 Don't forget to bring a towel.
- 00:03:43,849 --> 00:03:45,017 Ah, no.
- 00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:46,060 When you're playing sports,
- 00:03:46,185 --> 00:03:47,353 the sweat can get in your face.
- 00:03:47,478 --> 00:03:48,854 That's why Towelie says,
- 00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:51,065 "Always keep an extra towel in your duffel bag."
- 00:03:51,190 --> 00:03:52,399 Okay, we will.
- 00:03:52,524 --> 00:03:54,860 Alright!
- 00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:56,487 You want to get high?
- 00:03:56,612 --> 00:03:57,696 No, we don't want to get high.
- 00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,365 Okay.
- 00:03:59,490 --> 00:04:00,449 You sure?
- 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:01,742 Yes, go away, you stupid towel!
- 00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:02,952 Oh, dude, did you see that?
- 00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:03,702 I cut off your face and ate it.
- 00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:06,288 That's so cool!
- 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,335 Okay, boys, that's it. You have to go now.
- 00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:12,461 No, no, it's okay, mom.
- 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:13,712 We can't go to baseball practice
- 00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:14,880 because Kyle has cancer.
- 00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:16,715 No, Stanley, it's Monday morning.
- 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:17,716 You have to go to school.
- 00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:19,051 It's Monday?
- 00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:20,552 Oh, um, I'm sick. Me too.
- 00:04:20,678 --> 00:04:21,845 No, you're not sick. Now get to school,
- 00:04:21,971 --> 00:04:22,846 all of you.
- 00:04:22,972 --> 00:04:24,723 But, Mom! - Go!
- 00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:25,933 Ahh!
- 00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:28,852 I can't believe we have to go to school.
- 00:04:28,978 --> 00:04:30,771 Yeah, real life is so boring and stupid.
- 00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:31,897 We just have to try and make the day
- 00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:33,440 go as fast as possible
- 00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:35,442 so we can get back to Gamesphere.
- 00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:37,569 Hello, boys, how are you? - Fine.
- 00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:40,906 Say, boys, this may sound a little odd,
- 00:04:41,031 --> 00:04:44,076 but have you seen a talking towel around anywhere?
- 00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:45,744 What, you mean Towelie?
- 00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:47,496 Echo, this is Garret.
- 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,748 I've got a Code Five at... Park County, Colorado.
- 00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:51,875 Repeat: Code Five, Park County, Colorado!
- 00:04:54,712 --> 00:04:56,046 What, dude?
- 00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:01,635 This is gonna be one long-ass day.
- 00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:08,976 That was the longest day of school ever.
- 00:05:09,101 --> 00:05:12,396 Come on, hurry. I bet we can get to level 29.
- 00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:14,273 Where is it?
- 00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:17,109 It--it was right here.
- 00:05:17,234 --> 00:05:18,193 Where the hell is it?
- 00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:19,486 Come on, man, this isn't funny,
- 00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:21,530 I need my fix.
- 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:23,282 Hello?
- 00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:25,451 If you ever want to see your Okama Gamesphere again,
- 00:05:25,576 --> 00:05:26,952 you'll bring us the towel.
- 00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:28,078 What? Who is this?
- 00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:29,455 Just get the towel
- 00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:31,498 and meet us at the gas station outside of town.
- 00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:33,167 Or else.
- 00:05:33,292 --> 00:05:34,960 Okama Gamesphere!
- 00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:37,171 Don't hurt it!
- 00:05:37,296 --> 00:05:38,464 What?
- 00:05:38,589 --> 00:05:40,132 They've taken it.
- 00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:42,301 They've taken our Okama Gamesphere.
- 00:05:42,426 --> 00:05:44,303 NO... No!
- 00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:45,971 What do you mean they've taken it?
- 00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:47,139 Oh, this isn't happening.
- 00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:48,015 This isn't happening!
- 00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:51,185 Towelie!
- 00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:52,269 Hey, towel!
- 00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:53,270 Where the hell is he?
- 00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:54,438 Where the hell could he be?
- 00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:55,522 I don't know; the guy on the phone
- 00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:56,523 thought we had Towelie,
- 00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:57,816 so now we got to find him.
- 00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,068 What has this world come to,
- 00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:00,819 where people can just take your Okama Gamesphere?
- 00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:02,321 Hey, maybe we better do a towel call.
- 00:06:02,446 --> 00:06:04,740 Herrrre-gttt! Herrrre-gttt!
- 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:06,241 That's a towel call?
- 00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:07,493 This is hopeless. We're never gonna find him.
- 00:06:07,618 --> 00:06:08,994 Hey, wait a minute.
- 00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:10,329 Towelie always showed up to give us towel advice
- 00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:11,455 when we said something about water.
- 00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:12,956 Hey, yeah.
- 00:06:13,082 --> 00:06:17,044 Well, guys, let's go to the swimming pool.
- 00:06:17,169 --> 00:06:20,339 Ah, let's go take a shower.
- 00:06:20,464 --> 00:06:21,840 Let's go water-skiing!
- 00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:23,008 Don't forget to bring a towel.
- 00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:24,510 There he is!
- 00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:27,054 Be sure to bring a towel so you don't get all wet.
- 00:06:27,179 --> 00:06:28,013 Come on, dude.
- 00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:29,264 Where we going?
- 00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:30,766 Just come on. It's getting dark.
- 00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:31,850 Are we gonna get high?
- 00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:35,020 Are you sure this is where they said to be?
- 00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:36,939 They said the gas station outside of town.
- 00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:39,358 Well, I'm gonna get a little high.
- 00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:40,359 Hold it!
- 00:06:40,484 --> 00:06:41,527 Who's that?
- 00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:43,529 Step away from the towel!
- 00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:47,866 There you are, towel.
- 00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:49,868 We've been looking all over for you.
- 00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:51,537 If you ever go to a hotel,
- 00:06:51,662 --> 00:06:53,372 be sure to bring your own towel.
- 00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:55,874 It isn't safe for you out here, towel.
- 00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:58,001 There are people out here who mean to harm you.
- 00:06:58,127 --> 00:06:59,878 Excuse me, can we have our Okama Gamesphere back?
- 00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:00,963 We just want to play video games.
- 00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:02,089 Your what?
- 00:07:02,214 --> 00:07:03,715 Ah, look dude, we're on level 24,
- 00:07:03,841 --> 00:07:05,217 about to cross into the Caverns of Madness.
- 00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:06,885 I don't know what you're talking about.
- 00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:08,804 You called us and said if we brought the towel,
- 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:09,888 you'd give us our video game back.
- 00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:12,182 Oh, my God, it's a trap.
- 00:07:15,144 --> 00:07:17,396 Cover! Cover!
- 00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:18,230 Oh, God damn it, what now?
- 00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:19,273 Run, towel!
- 00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,278 Come on, they got to have our video game
- 00:07:24,403 --> 00:07:26,238 around here somewhere.
- 00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:27,906 Where's the towel? It can't be far.
- 00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:29,491 Alvarez, you and Mitchell sweep left.
- 00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:32,411 Hurry, you must get the towel back to Tynacorp.
- 00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:34,538 Where is our Okama Gamesphere?
- 00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:36,039 Get the towel home.
- 00:07:36,165 --> 00:07:37,082 They'll explain everything.
- 00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:39,084 Please, hurry.
- 00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:40,544 Ah, God damn it!
- 00:07:40,669 --> 00:07:42,296 Do you know where he's talking about, Towelie?
- 00:07:42,421 --> 00:07:44,131 What? Oh, yeah, back at the base.
- 00:07:44,256 --> 00:07:45,466 It's a long ways away.
- 00:07:45,591 --> 00:07:47,217 Alright, we're gonna have to use this truck.
- 00:07:47,342 --> 00:07:47,968 Come on, guys.
- 00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:52,222 Well? - They've gone, sir.
- 00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:53,515 It's like they vanished out of thin air.
- 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,058 Damn it!
- 00:07:55,184 --> 00:07:57,060 I knew those boys were protecting that towel.
- 00:07:57,186 --> 00:08:00,189 They must have some unexplainable bond with it.
- 00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:02,232 Perhaps they're telepathically linked to the towel, sir,
- 00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:04,109 like E.T.
- 00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:06,445 They could already be anywhere, hiding out again.
- 00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:08,447 No, the time for being nice is over.
- 00:08:08,572 --> 00:08:11,116 We must instigate... Plan "B."
- 00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:12,201 You mean...
- 00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:13,785 Yes.
- 00:08:13,911 --> 00:08:16,955 Destroy all towels within a thousand-mile radius.
- 00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:23,462 Hey, do you love Towelie?
- 00:08:23,587 --> 00:08:26,131 Good, because Towelie merchandise is now available.
- 00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:28,133 Be the first to show your enthusiasm for Towelie
- 00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:30,219 with the all-new "I Love Towelie" t-shirt.
- 00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:31,512 And if you don't like Towelie,
- 00:08:31,637 --> 00:08:33,305 you can buy the "I Hate Towelie" t-shirt.
- 00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:34,973 It's 100% cotton!
- 00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:37,017 And available soon, the Towelie towel.
- 00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:38,477 It comes with all your favorite catch phrases:
- 00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:40,479 "You want to get high?"
- 00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,397 So call now and order your "I Love Towelie"
- 00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:43,815 or "I Hate Towelie" t-shirt.
- 00:08:43,941 --> 00:08:45,275 American Express or Discover Card.
- 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:46,860 Supplies are limited,
- 00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:47,903 so order one of these great t-shirts right away.
- 00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:53,909 Are we getting close?
- 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,035 I think so.
- 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,870 A little more gas, Kenny.
- 00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,747 How long has it been since you've been back there?
- 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,916 I've been wandering around on my own for the past few weeks,
- 00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,752 you know, helping people out with towel safety
- 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:06,129 and proper towel use; it's important.
- 00:09:06,255 --> 00:09:07,256 No, it isn't. - Is.
- 00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:08,966 No, it isn't. - Is.
- 00:09:09,091 --> 00:09:11,093 Wait, turn down here. It's down this dirt road.
- 00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:12,302 Brake, Kenny, brake.
- 00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:17,099 Maybe it's down that dirt road.
- 00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:19,059 Dude, don't you remember where it is?
- 00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:21,645 I can't remember. It all looks the same.
- 00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:24,731 Hold on, let me get high. Then I'll remember where it is.
- 00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:35,617 Alright, so where is it?
- 00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:36,743 Where's what?
- 00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:38,620 Ah!!
- 00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,497 The base where you're from and our Okama Gamesphere is.
- 00:09:41,707 --> 00:09:42,499 Alright, that does it.
- 00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:45,210 Brake angrily, Kenny.
- 00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:46,837 Listen, Towelie, we've just about had it with you.
- 00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:48,171 Calm down.
- 00:09:48,297 --> 00:09:49,840 That's it; you're not getting high again
- 00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:51,592 until we have our Okama Gamesphere back.
- 00:09:51,717 --> 00:09:53,635 That's my last "J", asshole!
- 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,887 I don't care; you better remember where your base is.
- 00:09:56,013 --> 00:09:57,764 Oh, man, why is everyone riding me today?
- 00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:58,515 God damn it.
- 00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:05,981 Kevin?
- 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,734 Don't forget to wrap the potato salad in aluminum foil.
- 00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:11,194 Kevin, is that you?
- 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,196 Harris, breach, bang and clear!
- 00:10:13,322 --> 00:10:14,906 Hello?
- 00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:18,827 Oh, my God! Oh, no!
- 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,787 Alright, it's clear. It's clear!
- 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,500 Aah!!
- 00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:36,637 Go! Go!
- 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:44,686 Get it! What the...
- 00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,146 Throw it down!
- 00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:48,106 Oh, alright, have your way with me, if you must.
- 00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:51,151 Go on, fulfill your sick pleasures.
- 00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:53,904 Alright, let's go.
- 00:10:54,029 --> 00:10:54,696 Where you going?
- 00:10:58,659 --> 00:10:59,743 This is where you came from?
- 00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:01,036 Yeah, I think so.
- 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,246 Oh, man. - What?
- 00:11:03,372 --> 00:11:05,290 I am so high right now.
- 00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:07,459 I have no idea what's going on.
- 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:14,257 Welcome home, smart towel RG-400.
- 00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:16,218 Uh, hi, is this where our Okama Gamesphere is?
- 00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:17,886 We're missing out
- 00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:19,221 on some quality video game time right now.
- 00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:20,972 Thank you for bringing him to us, boys.
- 00:11:21,098 --> 00:11:23,642 You see, this is not an ordinary towel.
- 00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:25,936 He is the RG-400 smart towel,
- 00:11:26,061 --> 00:11:28,313 designed with a computer chip inside the terry cloth.
- 00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:29,606 We don't care.
- 00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:31,108 You see, here at Tynacorp,
- 00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:33,527 our goal was to make the perfect towel,
- 00:11:33,652 --> 00:11:36,488 a towel that would sense how wet or dry the user's skin was
- 00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:37,906 and fluff itself accordingly.
- 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,074 Dude, we don't care.
- 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,951 Towelie was our greatest success,
- 00:11:41,076 --> 00:11:43,120 smart enough to beat the average human at chess
- 00:11:43,245 --> 00:11:45,539 and absorbent enough to soak up even the toughest spills.
- 00:11:45,664 --> 00:11:47,499 But then one day, Towelie got high
- 00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:49,209 and just sort of wandered off.
- 00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:51,545 We...Don't..Care.
- 00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:53,505 All we want to know is who has our Okama Gamesphere?
- 00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:55,173 Ah, yes, your video game.
- 00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:57,801 I'm afraid that what we all experienced was a trap.
- 00:11:57,926 --> 00:11:59,970 They called you and said to bring the towel,
- 00:12:00,095 --> 00:12:02,597 and then they called us and said they were bringing Towelie back.
- 00:12:02,723 --> 00:12:05,600 Their plan was to wipe us all out with one fell swoop.
- 00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:07,602 Who's "they"? Why, the military.
- 00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:09,604 You see, after Towelie got high and wandered off from here,
- 00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:11,648 the military got ahold of him.
- 00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:14,776 They wanted to turn Towelie into a weapon of mass destruction.
- 00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:15,819 Don't care, don't care, don't care.
- 00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:17,529 Towelie was at their base for months
- 00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:19,030 as they tried to copy his T.N.A.
- 00:12:19,156 --> 00:12:21,616 But then, one day, Towelie got high
- 00:12:21,742 --> 00:12:24,619 and just sort of wandered off...again.
- 00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:26,705 God damn it. Can we please!
- 00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,290 Just get back to playing our video game, please!
- 00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,041 I'm afraid not,
- 00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:32,753 because your Okama Gamesphere is at their base.
- 00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:34,463 Can you tell us where that is, please?
- 00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:36,173 You mean to go right into their base?
- 00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:38,008 Of course.
- 00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:40,635 The entry code should still be in Towelie's memory banks.
- 00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:42,929 You could sneak him in there and recover his T.N.A.
- 00:12:43,054 --> 00:12:43,847 Great plan!
- 00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,518 Sir, Sergeant Masters and Buller reporting, Sir!
- 00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:49,978 Ah, yes.
- 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,856 Tell me, marine, did you accomplish your primary goal?
- 00:12:52,981 --> 00:12:53,982 Sir, yes, sir!
- 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,567 All towels have been destroyed.
- 00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:57,277 The smart towel is no doubt eliminated.
- 00:12:57,402 --> 00:13:00,697 Ah, and you're quite sure of this?
- 00:13:00,822 --> 00:13:04,701 Yes, sir, there isn't a towel left within 100 miles.
- 00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:08,622 Hmm, so perhaps, then, you can explain to me
- 00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:11,625 why we just got footage of the towel returning to Tynacorp?
- 00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:14,127 We--he must've outsmarted us, sir.
- 00:13:14,252 --> 00:13:16,213 Well, I'm through playing hide-and-seek.
- 00:13:16,338 --> 00:13:18,548 We've got no other choice.
- 00:13:18,673 --> 00:13:21,092 Prepare to blow up all of Colorado.
- 00:13:30,435 --> 00:13:31,853 In a moment, we will be over the base.
- 00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:33,230 This is the only way in.
- 00:13:33,355 --> 00:13:34,439 Any attempts on ground
- 00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:35,774 would be easily spotted by guard posts.
- 00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:37,609 Okay.
- 00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:39,736 I hate to send you back in there, Towelie,
- 00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:42,823 but only you have their security system in your memory banks.
- 00:13:42,948 --> 00:13:45,784 That's alright; it's always good to bring a towel.
- 00:13:45,909 --> 00:13:47,619 Good luck, boys.
- 00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,454 The fate of the world is depending on you.
- 00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:50,789 We're not doing it for the world.
- 00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:52,332 We're doing it for our video game.
- 00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:53,834 God, are you deaf? Alright, boys,
- 00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:55,585 when you drop from the plane, cover and roll.
- 00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:56,670 Got it? Yeah.
- 00:13:56,795 --> 00:13:58,296 Go, go, go, go!
- 00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:10,475 Dude, I figured it out. - What?
- 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,894 If we can go in and get the Gamesphere in 30 minutes,
- 00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,312 we could still be back at your house
- 00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:15,564 playing video games by midnight.
- 00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:16,815 So that'd be what, like,
- 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:17,816 eight hours we could play before school?
- 00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:18,900 Seven and a half.
- 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:21,111 Hurry up, stupid parachute.
- 00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:26,199 Alright, I think we go over there.
- 00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:31,788 Let's see...
- 00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:33,290 No.
- 00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:34,666 Come on, Towelie, the guy said
- 00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,293 you had the security system in your memory banks.
- 00:14:36,418 --> 00:14:37,669 Hey, it's been a long time.
- 00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:39,296 You just have no long-term memory
- 00:14:39,421 --> 00:14:40,422 because you get high all the time.
- 00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:41,590 Don't preach to me, fatso!
- 00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:42,966 I can preach to you all I want
- 00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:44,384 'cause you're stupid! - You're stupid!
- 00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:45,218 Yeah, but you're a towel.
- 00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:46,344 You're a towel!
- 00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:49,264 Just let me get high.
- 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,474 I know I can remember if I get high.
- 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:52,809 Oh, God damn it.
- 00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:55,020 Alright, fine, here's your stupid lighter.
- 00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:00,483 Hold on.
- 00:15:00,609 --> 00:15:01,735 Wait a second.
- 00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:08,241 That's it. - That's it?
- 00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:10,577 Yeah, that's the melody to <i>Funkytown.</i>
- 00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:18,209 ♪ Won't you take me down to Funkytown ♪
- 00:15:18,335 --> 00:15:19,377 No, Towelie, the entry code!
- 00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:20,795 For what?
- 00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:22,422 God damn it,
- 00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:24,174 I guess we're gonna have to climb the stupid fence.
- 00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:30,639 Let's look in here.
- 00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:41,608 Kill me...
- 00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:43,401 Kill me.
- 00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:46,237 Oh my God, no!
- 00:15:46,363 --> 00:15:49,366 Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in.
- 00:15:49,491 --> 00:15:51,409 What are these things?
- 00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:53,954 Genetic copies we tried to make with your T.N.A.
- 00:15:54,079 --> 00:15:55,872 They didn't work too well, I'm afraid.
- 00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:58,249 Kill me.
- 00:15:58,375 --> 00:15:59,834 Do you have our Okama Gamesphere?
- 00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:02,587 You did very well to get the towel this far, boys.
- 00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:04,756 I wonder, what did they tell you at Tynacorp?
- 00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:07,217 That the big, bad government wanted to genetically engineer
- 00:16:07,342 --> 00:16:09,260 Towelie as a weapon?
- 00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:11,388 Now let me tell you the real story.
- 00:16:11,513 --> 00:16:13,473 Oh God, don't care, don't care.
- 00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:15,266 Yes, we've been trying to make
- 00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:17,185 our own genetic copies of the towel
- 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,354 but only because we had to.
- 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:22,273 You see, when we started spying on Tynacorp,
- 00:16:22,399 --> 00:16:27,278 we discovered a certain terrifying secret.
- 00:16:27,404 --> 00:16:29,656 Go on, ask him what terrifying secret!
- 00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:31,783 What terrifying secret?
- 00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:33,702 That Tynacorp was making these towels
- 00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:35,704 in order to take over the world.
- 00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:38,206 We're never gonna play Okama Gamesphere again, are we?
- 00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:40,250 Don't you see what genetically enhanced
- 00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:41,710 smart towels like these are capable of?
- 00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:44,421 You get out of the shower and dry yourself off.
- 00:16:44,546 --> 00:16:47,590 But even after you're dry, the towel makes you more dry.
- 00:16:47,716 --> 00:16:49,801 It keeps getting you dryer and dryer.
- 00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:51,594 Can you imagine it,
- 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:55,306 what it would feel like to be way, <i>way</i> too dry?
- 00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:57,809 I'll tell you something. You don't want to know.
- 00:16:57,934 --> 00:16:59,310 And I don't know.
- 00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:00,729 And we don't care.
- 00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:03,273 You've been double-crossed by Tynacorp, kids.
- 00:17:03,398 --> 00:17:06,317 They set this all up to get you in here and take us down.
- 00:17:06,443 --> 00:17:07,652 So let me get this straight.
- 00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:10,321 Our Okama Gamesphere is back at Tynacorp?
- 00:17:10,447 --> 00:17:12,240 Oh, yes, it has been all along.
- 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:13,742 Could I kill the towel now, sir?
- 00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:14,617 Go ahead.
- 00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:16,494 No, wait.
- 00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:19,372 Perhaps now we can use their own towel against them.
- 00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:21,374 If these boys must return to Tynacorp,
- 00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:23,668 then we will launch a sneak attack on Tynacorp as well.
- 00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:26,421 You boys can take the towel to Tynacorp's central core
- 00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,214 and upload this encryption disk into their system,
- 00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:29,716 bringing them down once and for all.
- 00:17:29,841 --> 00:17:30,967 But we don't care.
- 00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:32,427 What the hell is this?
- 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:33,845 The towel was supposed to go in there
- 00:17:33,970 --> 00:17:35,889 and then run its own self-destruct sequence.
- 00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:37,515 The towel has a will of its own,
- 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,726 it's learning... compassion.
- 00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:41,978 We don't have the manpower to hold off the entire military
- 00:17:42,103 --> 00:17:44,439 and stop those wonder boys from getting to the core.
- 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,357 Then we have no choice.
- 00:17:46,483 --> 00:17:49,027 We'll have to test the new prototype a little early.
- 00:17:57,035 --> 00:17:59,621 Don't forget to bring a towel.
- 00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,546 Alright, boys, take the towel back in there
- 00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:10,423 and say your mission was accomplished.
- 00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:12,675 Then upload this encryption disk into their computers.
- 00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:14,385 We're just going in to get our video game back.
- 00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:15,512 If anything goes wrong,
- 00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:17,639 use this newly-developed photon rifle.
- 00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:20,016 Photon rifle. Whatever.
- 00:18:22,352 --> 00:18:23,228 Hello?
- 00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:24,562 Hello, anybody here?
- 00:18:24,687 --> 00:18:26,231 Welcome to the party, boys.
- 00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:28,817 Ahh!
- 00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:34,489 Oh, boy! - Aahhh!
- 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:37,200 So you thought you could outsmart us, did you, kids?
- 00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:39,327 Yah, move, move, move, move!
- 00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,371 Don't make a move, you bastards.
- 00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:43,998 Bring the towel here, boys. They can't shoot children.
- 00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:46,042 Don't listen to them. They lied to you before.
- 00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:48,461 Oh yes, boys, obey your government.
- 00:18:48,586 --> 00:18:50,130 Or perhaps it's time these boys knew
- 00:18:50,255 --> 00:18:51,464 what was <i>really</i> going on.
- 00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:54,217 Oh my God, look!
- 00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:56,177 Our Gamesphere!
- 00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:58,471 Okama Gamesphere!
- 00:18:58,596 --> 00:19:00,181 Oh, sweet, it still saved our place.
- 00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:02,517 You see, boys, I'm afraid you were double-crossed.
- 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,310 If they were the military,
- 00:19:04,435 --> 00:19:06,146 why wouldn't they just attack us to begin with?
- 00:19:06,271 --> 00:19:08,064 Because they're not the military.
- 00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:09,482 Alright, maybe we lied to you,
- 00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:11,359 but it was to protect your own skin.
- 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,278 We're a resistance group pretending to be the military
- 00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:14,696 to bring Tynacorp down.
- 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,406 Whoa, check it out, you guys, parachute level.
- 00:19:16,531 --> 00:19:17,657 Sweet.
- 00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:19,242 Then perhaps we should show these kids
- 00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:21,202 who Tynacorp really is made up of.
- 00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:25,373 Go on, tell them why you've been making towels...Zeitar!
- 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:27,250 Oh, there's gold. Get the gold, Kenny.
- 00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:28,418 Our planet was dying.
- 00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:30,420 We had no choice but to find a new one.
- 00:19:30,545 --> 00:19:33,006 Manufacturing smart towels was our way to spy on humans
- 00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:34,674 and see how they lived.
- 00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:37,093 And now you know the horrible truth, boys.
- 00:19:37,218 --> 00:19:39,596 Truth or no, your alien-murdering group is over.
- 00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:42,307 Can you turn it up?
- 00:19:42,432 --> 00:19:44,100 Boys, try to reach the core override.
- 00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:46,477 We've got no choice but to try to take them all out.
- 00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:54,986 I think I can get it from here, boys.
- 00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:56,362 What are you doing? You'll kill us all.
- 00:19:56,487 --> 00:19:58,573 Sorry, Zeitar, didn't your mama ever tell you?
- 00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:00,742 Don't mess with Earthlings.
- 00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:01,993 Whoa!
- 00:20:05,622 --> 00:20:08,333 Hang on. Kenny!
- 00:20:08,458 --> 00:20:10,627 Ahh!
- 00:20:10,752 --> 00:20:13,046 Oh, my God! Our Gamesphere.
- 00:20:13,171 --> 00:20:15,256 You've got to move me closer.
- 00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:18,551 Hurry up, Kyle this place is coming apart.
- 00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:20,011 What are you doing?
- 00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:22,055 Get away from me, you evil towel.
- 00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:23,681 Towelie, listen to me.
- 00:20:23,806 --> 00:20:25,642 Let them go. Drop them.
- 00:20:25,767 --> 00:20:27,602 No way. They're my friends.
- 00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,145 They aren't your friends.
- 00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:30,480 Humans have ruined the planet,
- 00:20:30,605 --> 00:20:31,564 killed off their own environment.
- 00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:33,316 Their time is over.
- 00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:34,609 It is the towels' turn now.
- 00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:36,069 I've almost got it.
- 00:20:36,194 --> 00:20:37,946 You're going to let them go, Towelie,
- 00:20:38,071 --> 00:20:40,114 because I know your weakness.
- 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:44,577 Here, you can reach it. Come on, Towelie.
- 00:20:44,702 --> 00:20:47,205 How long has it be since you've had a nice burn, huh?
- 00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:48,957 20, 30 seconds?
- 00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:50,124 Oh, crap.
- 00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:51,417 You're going to have to choose
- 00:20:51,542 --> 00:20:53,503 between their lives and getting high.
- 00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:55,255 You asshole.
- 00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:57,340 Towelie, don't let go of us, you God damn towel!
- 00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:58,508 Kyle's almost there.
- 00:20:58,633 --> 00:21:01,219 Come, Towelie, make your decision.
- 00:21:01,344 --> 00:21:03,513 I choose...
- 00:21:03,638 --> 00:21:06,474 I choose... Both!
- 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:14,190 I got it!
- 00:21:14,315 --> 00:21:16,025 Ahh!
- 00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:20,738 Come on, guys, let's go play video games.
- 00:21:20,863 --> 00:21:21,739 Alright! - Hooray!
- 00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:24,575 Oh, dude, we finished level 50.
- 00:21:24,701 --> 00:21:26,244 Awesome!
- 00:21:26,369 --> 00:21:28,496 Oh, man, I have no idea what's going on.
- 00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:30,164 Check it out.
- 00:21:30,290 --> 00:21:31,499 Now we're going into the secret underground base.
- 00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,042 Alright guys, focus.
- 00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:34,127 Looks like this is gonna be an underwater level.
- 00:21:34,252 --> 00:21:36,045 Don't forget to bring a towel.
- 00:21:37,422 --> 00:21:39,007 You're the worst character ever, Towelie.
- 00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:39,757 I know.
- 00:00:09,010 --> 00:00:10,094 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:10,219 --> 00:00:12,179 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,304 --> 00:00:13,639 Both: ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:13,764 --> 00:00:15,349 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:16,642 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,644 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,769 --> 00:00:20,312 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:21,981 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
- 00:00:22,106 --> 00:00:23,357 ♪ Headin' on up to South Park ♪
- 00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:25,192 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,317 --> 00:00:28,612 ♪ [muffled] ♪
- 00:00:28,738 --> 00:00:30,156 ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:30,281 --> 00:00:31,615 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:34,869 Ah, killed you.
- 00:00:34,994 --> 00:00:35,619 I blew your head off.
- 00:00:35,745 --> 00:00:37,329 [muffled]
- 00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:38,789 Jesus, is Cartman still in the bathroom?
- 00:00:38,914 --> 00:00:40,249 Hey, Cartman, we're almost to level 20!
- 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:41,417 You giving birth in there or what?
- 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:42,793 Let a man take a crap.
- 00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:44,420 Dude, he's in there punishing my toilet.
- 00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:45,671 Yeah, that poor, poor thing.
- 00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:47,173 Come on, Cartman, you're missing the game!
- 00:00:47,298 --> 00:00:48,507 I'm almost done, you smart asses.
- 00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:50,718 I'm just wiping my-- what the hell is that?
- 00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:54,346 You guys, look what I found in the trash can
- 00:00:54,472 --> 00:00:55,806 in Stan's bathroom.
- 00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:57,933 It's like a bloody cotton thing wrapped in toilet paper.
- 00:00:58,059 --> 00:00:59,351 Why did you pull it out of the trash?
- 00:00:59,477 --> 00:01:01,228 Because I thought it was a jelly doughnut,
- 00:01:01,353 --> 00:01:02,688 but look, check it out. It's all bloody.
- 00:01:02,813 --> 00:01:04,356 Are you boys <i>still</i> playing that video game?
- 00:01:04,482 --> 00:01:05,566 Yeah; hey, Mom, Cartman found a bloody cotton thing
- 00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:07,151 in the bathroom.
- 00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:08,861 Look. But I don't think it's for using.
- 00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:10,696 I think it's just for looking through.
- 00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:12,323 Eric, put that down. - Why?
- 00:01:12,448 --> 00:01:14,450 Just go put it back in the trash can.
- 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,118 But it's, like, all bloody. It might be alive.
- 00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:17,536 No, that-- that came from me.
- 00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:18,746 Just put it away.
- 00:01:18,871 --> 00:01:19,789 This came out of you?
- 00:01:19,914 --> 00:01:21,373 You just left it in the trash can?
- 00:01:21,499 --> 00:01:23,751 "You shouldn't have done that. He's just a boy.
- 00:01:23,876 --> 00:01:24,877 Poor little feller."
- 00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:26,212 What is it, Mom?
- 00:01:26,337 --> 00:01:27,546 Yeah, what is it, Mrs. Marsh?
- 00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:30,132 Boys, that's a... feminine thing, alright?
- 00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:31,884 It's a personal woman thing.
- 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:34,512 I tell you what.
- 00:01:34,637 --> 00:01:36,347 If you'll just drop the whole thing right now,
- 00:01:36,472 --> 00:01:37,640 I'll buy you that new video game console
- 00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:38,849 you've been wanting.
- 00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:40,601 The 2001 Okama Gamesphere?
- 00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:42,228 Sure. - Cool!
- 00:01:42,353 --> 00:01:44,480 Wow, this is like finding trash can gold, you guys.
- 00:01:45,564 --> 00:01:48,234 There it is, the Okama Gamesphere.
- 00:01:48,359 --> 00:01:50,611 Dude, it's got 128 gigahertz D-RAM.
- 00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:51,821 What's that?
- 00:01:51,946 --> 00:01:53,489 I don't know, but it kicks ass.
- 00:01:56,909 --> 00:01:58,744 Wow, dude, you're the luckiest kid in South Park.
- 00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:00,246 Hey, this is all of ours.
- 00:02:00,371 --> 00:02:01,705 I'm the one who found Stan's aborted brother
- 00:02:01,831 --> 00:02:03,374 in the trash can
- 00:02:03,499 --> 00:02:04,583 and blackmailed his mom into getting the Gamesphere.
- 00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:06,127 Alright, alright, but you guys got to see
- 00:02:06,252 --> 00:02:07,586 if you can sleep over for the rest of the weekend.
- 00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:09,588 It's Saturday at 2:30. That means we have...
- 00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:11,715 39 hours to play Gamesphere until school on Monday.
- 00:02:11,841 --> 00:02:12,675 Whoo-hoo! - Awesome!
- 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,385 Oh, crap. What?
- 00:02:14,510 --> 00:02:16,178 I'm supposed to go to the lake with my family tomorrow
- 00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:17,596 and swim and play in the stupid sun.
- 00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:18,514 Dude, we got Gamesphere.
- 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:19,765 I know, I know.
- 00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:20,850 Well, look, I'll stay over anyway
- 00:02:20,975 --> 00:02:22,643 so I can play for... 18 hours.
- 00:02:22,768 --> 00:02:24,311 And then I'll go to the lake.
- 00:02:24,436 --> 00:02:25,938 Don't forget to bring a towel.
- 00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:27,064 What?
- 00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:28,566 When you get out of the water,
- 00:02:28,691 --> 00:02:29,733 you need to dry off right away
- 00:02:29,859 --> 00:02:31,026 to avoid catching a cold.
- 00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:32,695 That's why Towelie says:
- 00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,989 "Don't forget to bring a towel."
- 00:02:35,114 --> 00:02:38,868 Okay. - Thanks, Towelie.
- 00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:40,661 You want to get high?
- 00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:43,789 No.
- 00:02:43,914 --> 00:02:45,082 Anyway, that will give me plenty of time
- 00:02:45,207 --> 00:02:46,750 playing video games.
- 00:02:46,876 --> 00:02:48,586 Kyle, I think you underestimate Okama Gamesphere.
- 00:02:48,711 --> 00:02:49,587 Here you go, boys.
- 00:02:49,712 --> 00:02:50,421 All: Aah!!
- 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,550 Okay, turn it on.
- 00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,385 Okama Gamesphere!
- 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,845 All: Whoa!
- 00:02:57,970 --> 00:03:00,806 Thirst for Blood!
- 00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:02,474 Oh yeah, Thirst for Blood; bring it.
- 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:03,642 Oh, this is so cool.
- 00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:04,643 Bring it, bring it!
- 00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:05,895 [indistinct speech]
- 00:03:08,022 --> 00:03:09,607 Good night, boys. Don't stay up too late.
- 00:03:09,732 --> 00:03:11,483 Good night, Mom. Thanks for Gamesphere.
- 00:03:11,609 --> 00:03:12,776 Yeah, but you still shouldn't have done that;
- 00:03:12,902 --> 00:03:13,903 He's just a boy.
- 00:03:14,028 --> 00:03:16,030 What? Nothing, come on, Randy.
- 00:03:18,616 --> 00:03:20,326 Yeah, Mom, I can't go to the lake.
- 00:03:20,451 --> 00:03:21,785 No, Stan's having emotional problems,
- 00:03:21,911 --> 00:03:22,912 and we need to help see him through it.
- 00:03:23,037 --> 00:03:24,330 He's got--what is it?
- 00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:25,414 Date Rape Psychosis.
- 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:26,582 Date Rape Something.
- 00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:27,958 Yeah, okay, I will.
- 00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:29,293 Okay, thanks, Mom.
- 00:03:29,418 --> 00:03:30,294 I don't have to go outside!
- 00:03:30,419 --> 00:03:31,295 Awesome!
- 00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:32,838 She said it's fine,
- 00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:35,007 but that I still have to go to baseball practice tonight.
- 00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:36,884 Oh, yeah, we've got baseball practice today. God dammit!
- 00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:37,801 We shouldn't have this many responsibilities.
- 00:03:37,927 --> 00:03:39,678 We're children.
- 00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:41,513 It's alright; we can still play for six more hours,
- 00:03:41,639 --> 00:03:42,806 and then we'll go play baseball.
- 00:03:42,932 --> 00:03:43,724 Don't forget to bring a towel.
- 00:03:43,849 --> 00:03:45,017 Ah, no.
- 00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:46,060 When you're playing sports,
- 00:03:46,185 --> 00:03:47,353 the sweat can get in your face.
- 00:03:47,478 --> 00:03:48,854 That's why Towelie says,
- 00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:51,065 "Always keep an extra towel in your duffel bag."
- 00:03:51,190 --> 00:03:52,399 Okay, we will.
- 00:03:52,524 --> 00:03:54,860 Alright!
- 00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:56,487 You want to get high?
- 00:03:56,612 --> 00:03:57,696 No, we don't want to get high.
- 00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,365 Okay.
- 00:03:59,490 --> 00:04:00,449 You sure?
- 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:01,742 Yes, go away, you stupid towel!
- 00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:02,952 Oh, dude, did you see that?
- 00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:03,702 I cut off your face and ate it.
- 00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:06,288 That's so cool!
- 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,335 Okay, boys, that's it. You have to go now.
- 00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:12,461 No, no, it's okay, mom.
- 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:13,712 We can't go to baseball practice
- 00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:14,880 because Kyle has cancer.
- 00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:16,715 No, Stanley, it's Monday morning.
- 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:17,716 You have to go to school.
- 00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:19,051 It's Monday?
- 00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:20,552 Oh, um, I'm sick. Me too.
- 00:04:20,678 --> 00:04:21,845 No, you're not sick. Now get to school,
- 00:04:21,971 --> 00:04:22,846 all of you.
- 00:04:22,972 --> 00:04:24,723 But, Mom! - Go!
- 00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:25,933 All: Ahh!
- 00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:28,852 I can't believe we have to go to school.
- 00:04:28,978 --> 00:04:30,771 Yeah, real life is so boring and stupid.
- 00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:31,897 We just have to try and make the day
- 00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:33,440 go as fast as possible
- 00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:35,442 so we can get back to Gamesphere.
- 00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:37,569 Hello, boys, how are you? - Fine.
- 00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:40,906 Say, boys, this may sound a little odd,
- 00:04:41,031 --> 00:04:44,076 but have you seen a talking towel around anywhere?
- 00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:45,744 What, you mean Towelie?
- 00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:47,496 Echo, this is Garret.
- 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,748 I've got a Code Five at... Park County, Colorado.
- 00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:51,875 Repeat: Code Five, Park County, Colorado!
- 00:04:54,712 --> 00:04:56,046 What, dude?
- 00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:01,635 This is gonna be one long-ass day.
- 00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:08,976 That was the longest day of school ever.
- 00:05:09,101 --> 00:05:12,396 Come on, hurry. I bet we can get to level 29.
- 00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:14,273 Where is it?
- 00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:17,109 It--it was right here.
- 00:05:17,234 --> 00:05:18,193 Where the hell is it?
- 00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:19,486 Come on, man, this isn't funny,
- 00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:21,530 I need my fix. [phone rings]
- 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:23,282 Hello?
- 00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:25,451 If you ever want to see your Okama Gamesphere again,
- 00:05:25,576 --> 00:05:26,952 you'll bring us the towel.
- 00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:28,078 What? Who is this?
- 00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:29,455 Just get the towel
- 00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:31,498 and meet us at the gas station outside of town.
- 00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:33,167 Or else.
- 00:05:33,292 --> 00:05:34,960 Okama Gamesphere!
- 00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:37,171 Don't hurt it!
- 00:05:37,296 --> 00:05:38,464 What?
- 00:05:38,589 --> 00:05:40,132 They've taken it.
- 00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:42,301 They've taken our Okama Gamesphere.
- 00:05:42,426 --> 00:05:44,303 NO... No!
- 00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:45,971 What do you mean they've taken it?
- 00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:47,139 Oh, this isn't happening.
- 00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:48,015 This isn't happening!
- 00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:51,185 Towelie!
- 00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:52,269 Hey, towel!
- 00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:53,270 Where the hell is he?
- 00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:54,438 Where the hell could he be?
- 00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:55,522 I don't know; the guy on the phone
- 00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:56,523 thought we had Towelie,
- 00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:57,816 so now we got to find him.
- 00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,068 What has this world come to,
- 00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:00,819 where people can just take your Okama Gamesphere?
- 00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:02,321 Hey, maybe we better do a towel call.
- 00:06:02,446 --> 00:06:04,740 Herrrre-gttt! Herrrre-gttt!
- 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:06,241 That's a towel call?
- 00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:07,493 This is hopeless. We're never gonna find him.
- 00:06:07,618 --> 00:06:08,994 Hey, wait a minute.
- 00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:10,329 Towelie always showed up to give us towel advice
- 00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:11,455 when we said something about water.
- 00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:12,956 Hey, yeah.
- 00:06:13,082 --> 00:06:17,044 Well, guys, let's go to the swimming pool.
- 00:06:17,169 --> 00:06:20,339 Ah, let's go take a shower.
- 00:06:20,464 --> 00:06:21,840 Let's go water-skiing!
- 00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:23,008 Don't forget to bring a towel.
- 00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:24,510 There he is!
- 00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:27,054 Be sure to bring a towel so you don't get all wet.
- 00:06:27,179 --> 00:06:28,013 Come on, dude.
- 00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:29,264 Where we going?
- 00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:30,766 Just come on. It's getting dark.
- 00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:31,850 Are we gonna get high?
- 00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:35,020 Are you sure this is where they said to be?
- 00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:36,939 They said the gas station outside of town.
- 00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:39,358 Well, I'm gonna get a little high.
- 00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:40,359 Hold it!
- 00:06:40,484 --> 00:06:41,527 Who's that?
- 00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:43,529 Step away from the towel!
- 00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:47,866 There you are, towel.
- 00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:49,868 We've been looking all over for you.
- 00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:51,537 If you ever go to a hotel,
- 00:06:51,662 --> 00:06:53,372 be sure to bring your own towel.
- 00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:55,874 It isn't safe for you out here, towel.
- 00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:58,001 There are people out here who mean to harm you.
- 00:06:58,127 --> 00:06:59,878 Excuse me, can we have our Okama Gamesphere back?
- 00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:00,963 We just want to play video games.
- 00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:02,089 Your what?
- 00:07:02,214 --> 00:07:03,715 Ah, look dude, we're on level 24,
- 00:07:03,841 --> 00:07:05,217 about to cross into the Caverns of Madness.
- 00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:06,885 I don't know what you're talking about.
- 00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:08,804 You called us and said if we brought the towel,
- 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:09,888 you'd give us our video game back.
- 00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:12,182 Oh, my God, it's a trap.
- 00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:15,018 [gunfire]
- 00:07:15,144 --> 00:07:17,396 Cover! Cover!
- 00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:18,230 Oh, God damn it, what now?
- 00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:19,273 Run, towel!
- 00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,278 Come on, they got to have our video game
- 00:07:24,403 --> 00:07:26,238 around here somewhere.
- 00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:27,906 Where's the towel? It can't be far.
- 00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:29,491 Alvarez, you and Mitchell sweep left.
- 00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:32,411 Hurry, you must get the towel back to Tynacorp.
- 00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:34,538 Where is our Okama Gamesphere?
- 00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:36,039 Get the towel home.
- 00:07:36,165 --> 00:07:37,082 They'll explain everything.
- 00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:39,084 Please, hurry.
- 00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:40,544 Ah, God damn it!
- 00:07:40,669 --> 00:07:42,296 Do you know where he's talking about, Towelie?
- 00:07:42,421 --> 00:07:44,131 What? Oh, yeah, back at the base.
- 00:07:44,256 --> 00:07:45,466 It's a long ways away.
- 00:07:45,591 --> 00:07:47,217 Alright, we're gonna have to use this truck.
- 00:07:47,342 --> 00:07:47,968 Come on, guys.
- 00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:52,222 Well? - They've gone, sir.
- 00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:53,515 It's like they vanished out of thin air.
- 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,058 Damn it!
- 00:07:55,184 --> 00:07:57,060 I knew those boys were protecting that towel.
- 00:07:57,186 --> 00:08:00,189 They must have some unexplainable bond with it.
- 00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:02,232 Perhaps they're telepathically linked to the towel, sir,
- 00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:04,109 like E.T.
- 00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:06,445 They could already be anywhere, hiding out again.
- 00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:08,447 No, the time for being nice is over.
- 00:08:08,572 --> 00:08:11,116 We must instigate... Plan "B."
- 00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:12,201 You mean...
- 00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:13,785 Yes.
- 00:08:13,911 --> 00:08:16,955 Destroy all towels within a thousand-mile radius.
- 00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:23,462 Hey, do you love Towelie?
- 00:08:23,587 --> 00:08:26,131 Good, because Towelie merchandise is now available.
- 00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:28,133 Be the first to show your enthusiasm for Towelie
- 00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:30,219 with the all-new "I Love Towelie" t-shirt.
- 00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:31,512 And if you don't like Towelie,
- 00:08:31,637 --> 00:08:33,305 you can buy the "I Hate Towelie" t-shirt.
- 00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:34,973 It's 100% cotton!
- 00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:37,017 And available soon, the Towelie towel.
- 00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:38,477 It comes with all your favorite catch phrases:
- 00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:40,479 "You want to get high?"
- 00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,397 So call now and order your "I Love Towelie"
- 00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:43,815 or "I Hate Towelie" t-shirt.
- 00:08:43,941 --> 00:08:45,275 American Express or Discover Card.
- 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:46,860 Supplies are limited,
- 00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:47,903 so order one of these great t-shirts right away.
- 00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:53,909 Are we getting close?
- 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,035 I think so.
- 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,870 A little more gas, Kenny.
- 00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,747 How long has it been since you've been back there?
- 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,916 I've been wandering around on my own for the past few weeks,
- 00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,752 you know, helping people out with towel safety
- 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:06,129 and proper towel use; it's important.
- 00:09:06,255 --> 00:09:07,256 No, it isn't. - Is.
- 00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:08,966 No, it isn't. - Is.
- 00:09:09,091 --> 00:09:11,093 Wait, turn down here. It's down this dirt road.
- 00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:12,302 Brake, Kenny, brake.
- 00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:17,099 Maybe it's down that dirt road.
- 00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:19,059 Dude, don't you remember where it is?
- 00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:21,645 I can't remember. It all looks the same.
- 00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:24,731 Hold on, let me get high. Then I'll remember where it is.
- 00:09:24,856 --> 00:09:26,233 [inhaling]
- 00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:28,986 [<i>Popeye</i> theme playing]
- 00:09:29,111 --> 00:09:31,905 ♪♪
- 00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:35,617 Alright, so where is it?
- 00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:36,743 Where's what?
- 00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:38,620 All: Ah!!
- 00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,497 The base where you're from and our Okama Gamesphere is.
- 00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:41,582 [snickering]
- 00:09:41,707 --> 00:09:42,499 Alright, that does it.
- 00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:45,210 Brake angrily, Kenny.
- 00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:46,837 Listen, Towelie, we've just about had it with you.
- 00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:48,171 Calm down.
- 00:09:48,297 --> 00:09:49,840 That's it; you're not getting high again
- 00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:51,592 until we have our Okama Gamesphere back.
- 00:09:51,717 --> 00:09:53,635 That's my last "J", asshole!
- 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,887 I don't care; you better remember where your base is.
- 00:09:56,013 --> 00:09:57,764 Oh, man, why is everyone riding me today?
- 00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:58,515 God damn it.
- 00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:04,062 [humming]
- 00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:05,981 Kevin?
- 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,734 Don't forget to wrap the potato salad in aluminum foil.
- 00:10:08,859 --> 00:10:10,110 [banging]
- 00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:11,194 Kevin, is that you?
- 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,196 Harris, breach, bang and clear!
- 00:10:13,322 --> 00:10:14,906 Hello?
- 00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:17,659 [screaming]
- 00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:18,827 Oh, my God! Oh, no!
- 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,787 Alright, it's clear. It's clear!
- 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,500 Aah!!
- 00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:35,135 [rapid gunfire]
- 00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:36,637 Go! Go!
- 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:44,686 Get it! What the...
- 00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,146 Throw it down!
- 00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:48,106 Oh, alright, have your way with me, if you must.
- 00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:51,151 Go on, fulfill your sick pleasures.
- 00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:52,778 [machine gun firing]
- 00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:53,904 Alright, let's go.
- 00:10:54,029 --> 00:10:54,696 Where you going?
- 00:10:58,659 --> 00:10:59,743 This is where you came from?
- 00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:01,036 Yeah, I think so.
- 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,246 Oh, man. - What?
- 00:11:03,372 --> 00:11:05,290 I am so high right now.
- 00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:07,459 I have no idea what's going on.
- 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:14,257 Welcome home, smart towel RG-400.
- 00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:16,218 Uh, hi, is this where our Okama Gamesphere is?
- 00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:17,886 We're missing out
- 00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:19,221 on some quality video game time right now.
- 00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:20,972 Thank you for bringing him to us, boys.
- 00:11:21,098 --> 00:11:23,642 You see, this is not an ordinary towel.
- 00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:25,936 He is the RG-400 smart towel,
- 00:11:26,061 --> 00:11:28,313 designed with a computer chip inside the terry cloth.
- 00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:29,606 We don't care.
- 00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:31,108 You see, here at Tynacorp,
- 00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:33,527 our goal was to make the perfect towel,
- 00:11:33,652 --> 00:11:36,488 a towel that would sense how wet or dry the user's skin was
- 00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:37,906 and fluff itself accordingly.
- 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,074 Dude, we don't care.
- 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,951 Towelie was our greatest success,
- 00:11:41,076 --> 00:11:43,120 smart enough to beat the average human at chess
- 00:11:43,245 --> 00:11:45,539 and absorbent enough to soak up even the toughest spills.
- 00:11:45,664 --> 00:11:47,499 But then one day, Towelie got high
- 00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:49,209 and just sort of wandered off.
- 00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:51,545 We...Don't..Care.
- 00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:53,505 All we want to know is who has our Okama Gamesphere?
- 00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:55,173 Ah, yes, your video game.
- 00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:57,801 I'm afraid that what we all experienced was a trap.
- 00:11:57,926 --> 00:11:59,970 They called you and said to bring the towel,
- 00:12:00,095 --> 00:12:02,597 and then they called us and said they were bringing Towelie back.
- 00:12:02,723 --> 00:12:05,600 Their plan was to wipe us all out with one fell swoop.
- 00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:07,602 Who's "they"? Why, the military.
- 00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:09,604 You see, after Towelie got high and wandered off from here,
- 00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:11,648 the military got ahold of him.
- 00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:14,776 They wanted to turn Towelie into a weapon of mass destruction.
- 00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:15,819 Don't care, don't care, don't care.
- 00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:17,529 Towelie was at their base for months
- 00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:19,030 as they tried to copy his T.N.A.
- 00:12:19,156 --> 00:12:21,616 But then, one day, Towelie got high
- 00:12:21,742 --> 00:12:24,619 and just sort of wandered off...again.
- 00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:26,705 God damn it. Can we please!
- 00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,290 Just get back to playing our video game, please!
- 00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,041 I'm afraid not,
- 00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:32,753 because your Okama Gamesphere is at their base.
- 00:12:32,878 --> 00:12:34,463 Can you tell us where that is, please?
- 00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:36,173 You mean to go right into their base?
- 00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:38,008 Of course.
- 00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:40,635 The entry code should still be in Towelie's memory banks.
- 00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:42,929 You could sneak him in there and recover his T.N.A.
- 00:12:43,054 --> 00:12:43,847 Great plan!
- 00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,518 Sir, Sergeant Masters and Buller reporting, Sir!
- 00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:49,978 Ah, yes.
- 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,856 Tell me, marine, did you accomplish your primary goal?
- 00:12:52,981 --> 00:12:53,982 Sir, yes, sir!
- 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,567 All towels have been destroyed.
- 00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:57,277 The smart towel is no doubt eliminated.
- 00:12:57,402 --> 00:13:00,697 Ah, and you're quite sure of this?
- 00:13:00,822 --> 00:13:04,701 Yes, sir, there isn't a towel left within 100 miles.
- 00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:08,622 Hmm, so perhaps, then, you can explain to me
- 00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:11,625 why we just got footage of the towel returning to Tynacorp?
- 00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:14,127 We--he must've outsmarted us, sir.
- 00:13:14,252 --> 00:13:16,213 Well, I'm through playing hide-and-seek.
- 00:13:16,338 --> 00:13:18,548 We've got no other choice.
- 00:13:18,673 --> 00:13:21,092 Prepare to blow up all of Colorado.
- 00:13:30,435 --> 00:13:31,853 In a moment, we will be over the base.
- 00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:33,230 This is the only way in.
- 00:13:33,355 --> 00:13:34,439 Any attempts on ground
- 00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:35,774 would be easily spotted by guard posts.
- 00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:37,609 Okay.
- 00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:39,736 I hate to send you back in there, Towelie,
- 00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:42,823 but only you have their security system in your memory banks.
- 00:13:42,948 --> 00:13:45,784 That's alright; it's always good to bring a towel.
- 00:13:45,909 --> 00:13:47,619 Good luck, boys.
- 00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,454 The fate of the world is depending on you.
- 00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:50,789 We're not doing it for the world.
- 00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:52,332 We're doing it for our video game.
- 00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:53,834 God, are you deaf? Alright, boys,
- 00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:55,585 when you drop from the plane, cover and roll.
- 00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:56,670 Got it? Yeah.
- 00:13:56,795 --> 00:13:58,296 Go, go, go, go!
- 00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:08,723 [sighs]
- 00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:10,475 Dude, I figured it out. - What?
- 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,894 If we can go in and get the Gamesphere in 30 minutes,
- 00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,312 we could still be back at your house
- 00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:15,564 playing video games by midnight.
- 00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:16,815 So that'd be what, like,
- 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:17,816 eight hours we could play before school?
- 00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:18,900 Seven and a half.
- 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:21,111 Hurry up, stupid parachute.
- 00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:26,199 Alright, I think we go over there.
- 00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:31,788 Let's see...
- 00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:33,290 No.
- 00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:34,666 Come on, Towelie, the guy said
- 00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,293 you had the security system in your memory banks.
- 00:14:36,418 --> 00:14:37,669 Hey, it's been a long time.
- 00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:39,296 You just have no long-term memory
- 00:14:39,421 --> 00:14:40,422 because you get high all the time.
- 00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:41,590 Don't preach to me, fatso!
- 00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:42,966 I can preach to you all I want
- 00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:44,384 'cause you're stupid! - You're stupid!
- 00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:45,218 Yeah, but you're a towel.
- 00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:46,344 You're a towel!
- 00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:49,264 Just let me get high.
- 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,474 I know I can remember if I get high.
- 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:52,809 Oh, God damn it.
- 00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:55,020 Alright, fine, here's your stupid lighter.
- 00:14:55,145 --> 00:14:57,606 [<i>Popeye</i> theme playing]
- 00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:00,483 Hold on.
- 00:15:00,609 --> 00:15:01,735 Wait a second.
- 00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:03,445 [buttons beeping]
- 00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:08,241 That's it. - That's it?
- 00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:10,577 Yeah, that's the melody to <i>Funkytown.</i>
- 00:15:10,702 --> 00:15:13,872 [playing <i>Funkytown</i> on keypad]
- 00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:18,209 ♪ Won't you take me down to Funkytown ♪
- 00:15:18,335 --> 00:15:19,377 No, Towelie, the entry code!
- 00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:20,795 For what?
- 00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:22,422 God damn it,
- 00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:24,174 I guess we're gonna have to climb the stupid fence.
- 00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:30,639 Let's look in here.
- 00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:41,608 Kill me...
- 00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:43,401 Kill me.
- 00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:46,237 Oh my God, no!
- 00:15:46,363 --> 00:15:49,366 Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in.
- 00:15:49,491 --> 00:15:51,409 What are these things?
- 00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:53,954 Genetic copies we tried to make with your T.N.A.
- 00:15:54,079 --> 00:15:55,872 They didn't work too well, I'm afraid.
- 00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:58,249 Kill me.
- 00:15:58,375 --> 00:15:59,834 Do you have our Okama Gamesphere?
- 00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:02,587 You did very well to get the towel this far, boys.
- 00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:04,756 I wonder, what did they tell you at Tynacorp?
- 00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:07,217 That the big, bad government wanted to genetically engineer
- 00:16:07,342 --> 00:16:09,260 Towelie as a weapon?
- 00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:11,388 Now let me tell you the real story.
- 00:16:11,513 --> 00:16:13,473 Oh God, don't care, don't care.
- 00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:15,266 Yes, we've been trying to make
- 00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:17,185 our own genetic copies of the towel
- 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,354 but only because we had to.
- 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:22,273 You see, when we started spying on Tynacorp,
- 00:16:22,399 --> 00:16:27,278 we discovered a certain terrifying secret.
- 00:16:27,404 --> 00:16:29,656 Go on, ask him what terrifying secret!
- 00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:31,783 What terrifying secret?
- 00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:33,702 That Tynacorp was making these towels
- 00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:35,704 in order to take over the world.
- 00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:38,206 We're never gonna play Okama Gamesphere again, are we?
- 00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:40,250 Don't you see what genetically enhanced
- 00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:41,710 smart towels like these are capable of?
- 00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:44,421 You get out of the shower and dry yourself off.
- 00:16:44,546 --> 00:16:47,590 But even after you're dry, the towel makes you more dry.
- 00:16:47,716 --> 00:16:49,801 It keeps getting you dryer and dryer.
- 00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:51,594 Can you imagine it,
- 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:55,306 what it would feel like to be way, <i>way</i> too dry?
- 00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:57,809 I'll tell you something. You don't want to know.
- 00:16:57,934 --> 00:16:59,310 And I don't know.
- 00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:00,729 And we don't care.
- 00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:03,273 You've been double-crossed by Tynacorp, kids.
- 00:17:03,398 --> 00:17:06,317 They set this all up to get you in here and take us down.
- 00:17:06,443 --> 00:17:07,652 So let me get this straight.
- 00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:10,321 Our Okama Gamesphere is back at Tynacorp?
- 00:17:10,447 --> 00:17:12,240 Oh, yes, it has been all along.
- 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:13,742 Could I kill the towel now, sir?
- 00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:14,617 Go ahead.
- 00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:16,494 No, wait.
- 00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:19,372 Perhaps now we can use their own towel against them.
- 00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:21,374 If these boys must return to Tynacorp,
- 00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:23,668 then we will launch a sneak attack on Tynacorp as well.
- 00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:26,421 You boys can take the towel to Tynacorp's central core
- 00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,214 and upload this encryption disk into their system,
- 00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:29,716 bringing them down once and for all.
- 00:17:29,841 --> 00:17:30,967 But we don't care.
- 00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:32,427 What the hell is this?
- 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:33,845 The towel was supposed to go in there
- 00:17:33,970 --> 00:17:35,889 and then run its own self-destruct sequence.
- 00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:37,515 The towel has a will of its own,
- 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,726 it's learning... compassion.
- 00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:41,978 We don't have the manpower to hold off the entire military
- 00:17:42,103 --> 00:17:44,439 and stop those wonder boys from getting to the core.
- 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,357 Then we have no choice.
- 00:17:46,483 --> 00:17:49,027 We'll have to test the new prototype a little early.
- 00:17:57,035 --> 00:17:59,621 Don't forget to bring a towel.
- 00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,546 Alright, boys, take the towel back in there
- 00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:10,423 and say your mission was accomplished.
- 00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:12,675 Then upload this encryption disk into their computers.
- 00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:14,385 We're just going in to get our video game back.
- 00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:15,512 If anything goes wrong,
- 00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:17,639 use this newly-developed photon rifle.
- 00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:20,016 Photon rifle. Whatever.
- 00:18:22,352 --> 00:18:23,228 Hello?
- 00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:24,562 Hello, anybody here?
- 00:18:24,687 --> 00:18:26,231 Welcome to the party, boys.
- 00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:28,817 Ahh!
- 00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:34,489 Oh, boy! - Aahhh!
- 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:37,200 So you thought you could outsmart us, did you, kids?
- 00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:39,327 Yah, move, move, move, move!
- 00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,371 Don't make a move, you bastards.
- 00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:43,998 Bring the towel here, boys. They can't shoot children.
- 00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:46,042 Don't listen to them. They lied to you before.
- 00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:48,461 Oh yes, boys, obey your government.
- 00:18:48,586 --> 00:18:50,130 Or perhaps it's time these boys knew
- 00:18:50,255 --> 00:18:51,464 what was <i>really</i> going on.
- 00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:54,217 Oh my God, look!
- 00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:56,177 Our Gamesphere!
- 00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:58,471 Okama Gamesphere!
- 00:18:58,596 --> 00:19:00,181 Oh, sweet, it still saved our place.
- 00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:02,517 You see, boys, I'm afraid you were double-crossed.
- 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,310 If they were the military,
- 00:19:04,435 --> 00:19:06,146 why wouldn't they just attack us to begin with?
- 00:19:06,271 --> 00:19:08,064 Because they're not the military.
- 00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:09,482 Alright, maybe we lied to you,
- 00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:11,359 but it was to protect your own skin.
- 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,278 We're a resistance group pretending to be the military
- 00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:14,696 to bring Tynacorp down.
- 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,406 Whoa, check it out, you guys, parachute level.
- 00:19:16,531 --> 00:19:17,657 Sweet.
- 00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:19,242 Then perhaps we should show these kids
- 00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:21,202 who Tynacorp really is made up of.
- 00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:25,373 Go on, tell them why you've been making towels...Zeitar!
- 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:27,250 Oh, there's gold. Get the gold, Kenny.
- 00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:28,418 Our planet was dying.
- 00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:30,420 We had no choice but to find a new one.
- 00:19:30,545 --> 00:19:33,006 Manufacturing smart towels was our way to spy on humans
- 00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:34,674 and see how they lived.
- 00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:37,093 And now you know the horrible truth, boys.
- 00:19:37,218 --> 00:19:39,596 Truth or no, your alien-murdering group is over.
- 00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:41,055 [automatic gunfire]
- 00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:42,307 Can you turn it up?
- 00:19:42,432 --> 00:19:44,100 Boys, try to reach the core override.
- 00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:46,477 We've got no choice but to try to take them all out.
- 00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:54,986 I think I can get it from here, boys.
- 00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:56,362 What are you doing? You'll kill us all.
- 00:19:56,487 --> 00:19:58,573 Sorry, Zeitar, didn't your mama ever tell you?
- 00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:00,742 Don't mess with Earthlings.
- 00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:01,993 All: Whoa!
- 00:20:05,622 --> 00:20:08,333 Hang on. Kenny!
- 00:20:08,458 --> 00:20:10,627 Ahh!
- 00:20:10,752 --> 00:20:13,046 Oh, my God! Our Gamesphere.
- 00:20:13,171 --> 00:20:15,256 You've got to move me closer.
- 00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:18,551 Hurry up, Kyle this place is coming apart.
- 00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:20,011 What are you doing?
- 00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:22,055 Get away from me, you evil towel.
- 00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:23,681 Towelie, listen to me.
- 00:20:23,806 --> 00:20:25,642 Let them go. Drop them.
- 00:20:25,767 --> 00:20:27,602 No way. They're my friends.
- 00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,145 They aren't your friends.
- 00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:30,480 Humans have ruined the planet,
- 00:20:30,605 --> 00:20:31,564 killed off their own environment.
- 00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:33,316 Their time is over.
- 00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:34,609 It is the towels' turn now.
- 00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:36,069 I've almost got it.
- 00:20:36,194 --> 00:20:37,946 You're going to let them go, Towelie,
- 00:20:38,071 --> 00:20:40,114 because I know your weakness.
- 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:44,577 Here, you can reach it. Come on, Towelie.
- 00:20:44,702 --> 00:20:47,205 How long has it be since you've had a nice burn, huh?
- 00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:48,957 20, 30 seconds?
- 00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:50,124 Oh, crap.
- 00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:51,417 You're going to have to choose
- 00:20:51,542 --> 00:20:53,503 between their lives and getting high.
- 00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:55,255 You asshole.
- 00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:57,340 Towelie, don't let go of us, you God damn towel!
- 00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:58,508 Kyle's almost there.
- 00:20:58,633 --> 00:21:01,219 Come, Towelie, make your decision.
- 00:21:01,344 --> 00:21:03,513 I choose...
- 00:21:03,638 --> 00:21:06,474 I choose... Both!
- 00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:08,393 [<i>Popeye</i> theme playing]
- 00:21:08,518 --> 00:21:11,479 [inhaling]
- 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:14,190 I got it!
- 00:21:14,315 --> 00:21:16,025 Ahh!
- 00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:20,738 Come on, guys, let's go play video games.
- 00:21:20,863 --> 00:21:21,739 Alright! - Hooray!
- 00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:24,575 Oh, dude, we finished level 50.
- 00:21:24,701 --> 00:21:26,244 Awesome!
- 00:21:26,369 --> 00:21:28,496 Oh, man, I have no idea what's going on.
- 00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:30,164 Check it out.
- 00:21:30,290 --> 00:21:31,499 Now we're going into the secret underground base.
- 00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,042 Alright guys, focus.
- 00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:34,127 Looks like this is gonna be an underwater level.
- 00:21:34,252 --> 00:21:36,045 Don't forget to bring a towel.
- 00:21:36,170 --> 00:21:37,297 [laughter]
- 00:21:37,422 --> 00:21:39,007 You're the worst character ever, Towelie.
- 00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:39,757 I know.
Скриншоты
