Терренс и Филлип: обратная сторона успеха — Друзья пытаются помирить Терренса и Филлипа, чтобы те могли выступить на фестивале Дня Земли в Южном Парке.

Предыдущая серия S05 E04 Скотт Тенорман должен умереть

Следующая серия S05 E06 Картманлэнд

Терренс и Филлип: обратная сторона успеха

Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow

Сезон: 05Серия: 05

Описание

Друзья пытаются помирить Терренса и Филлипа, чтобы те могли выступить на фестивале Дня Земли в Южном Парке.

Субтитры

00:00:09,260 --> 00:00:10,803 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:00:10,928 --> 00:00:12,513 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:14,348 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:14,473 --> 00:00:16,017 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:16,142 --> 00:00:17,059 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:19,103 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:21,063 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:22,606 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
00:00:22,732 --> 00:00:23,983 ♪ Headin' on up to South Park ♪
00:00:24,108 --> 00:00:26,235 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:30,489 ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:32,533 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:35,286 --> 00:00:38,247 And so, in her career filled with lies, back-stabbing
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:39,665 and whoring herself for money,
00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,834 she learned that the price of fame can be
00:00:41,959 --> 00:00:45,087 pleasing 65 men at once in a dark, dirty alley.
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:48,507 And so ends <i>Punky Brewster: Behind the Blow.</i>
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:49,550 Whoa, bummer, dude.
00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:51,218 Okay, dude, it's 3:30.
00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:53,262 It's time for <i>The Terrance and Phillip Show.</i>
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:54,263 Yay!
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:55,514 Excuse me, buddy.
00:00:55,639 --> 00:00:56,515 Why, did you fart?
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:57,767 Oh no!
00:00:57,892 --> 00:00:58,934 Oh, man, this is another rerun.
00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:00,561 Are you sure? I haven't seen it.
00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:02,271 Yeah, fatass, this is their famous mechanic sketch.
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:03,981 I'm looking for a mechanic.
00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:05,649 Can you tell me how to get to the auto garage?
00:01:05,775 --> 00:01:07,526 Sure, buddy, all you need to do is go down to the--
00:01:10,613 --> 00:01:11,739 and that's how you--
00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:12,907 "get to the auto garage."
00:01:13,032 --> 00:01:14,450 Could you tell me
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:15,868 how to get to the auto garage without farting?
00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:17,369 Sure, you go the same way--
00:01:17,495 --> 00:01:18,788 "except stick your finger up your ass."
00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:20,247 No, no, no.
00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:21,665 I mean could you tell me the directions again
00:01:21,791 --> 00:01:22,958 without you farting?
00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:24,210 Oh, sure.
00:01:24,335 --> 00:01:25,669 Just stick your finger up my ass.
00:01:25,795 --> 00:01:27,338 Alright, no problem, buddy.
00:01:27,463 --> 00:01:30,049 Now tell me how do I get to the auto garage to see a mechanic?
00:01:30,174 --> 00:01:31,801 You're at the auto garage. I am the mechanic.
00:01:31,926 --> 00:01:33,886 Why the heck didn't you tell me you were the mechanic?
00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:35,096 "Because I had an itch up my ass."
00:01:35,221 --> 00:01:36,430 Because I had an itch up my ass.
00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:44,355 Terrance and Phillip will be right back...
00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:46,315 after these messages.
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,109 When are they gonna make new ones?
00:01:48,234 --> 00:01:50,111 Hey, kids, don't miss the greatest event of the year.
00:01:50,236 --> 00:01:51,821 This Thursday night at the Denver Coliseum,
00:01:51,946 --> 00:01:54,240 see Terrance and Phillip live and in person.
00:01:54,365 --> 00:01:55,574 What's this?
00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:57,243 One night and one night only,
00:01:57,368 --> 00:01:58,869 see all your favorite Terrance and Phillip bits live.
00:01:58,994 --> 00:02:00,246 Oh my God!
00:02:00,371 --> 00:02:01,497 You guys, you guys!
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:02,957 I know, I know.
00:02:03,082 --> 00:02:04,583 To order tickets, call Ticket Slave now!
00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:06,377 Write the number down! Write the number down!
00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:09,380 Dude, did you get 'em?
00:02:09,505 --> 00:02:11,173 I got 'em.
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:12,633 Four tickets, 68th row to <i>Terrance and Phillip.</i>
00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:13,926 I waited in line since 3:00 this morning.
00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,761 Awesome, give me mine.
00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:17,429 Wow, you guys are gonna see Terrance and Phillip live?
00:02:17,555 --> 00:02:19,014 Yup, tomorrow night.
00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:20,933 Alright, children, let's settle down.
00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:23,227 As you know, this coming Friday is Earth Day,
00:02:23,352 --> 00:02:24,812 and I'm pleased to announce
00:02:24,937 --> 00:02:26,605 that the national Earth Day organization
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,482 has chosen South Park as its location
00:02:28,607 --> 00:02:30,568 for the Earth Day Brainwashing Festival.
00:02:30,693 --> 00:02:32,194 Oh!
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,238 The heads of the Earth Day Brainwashing Organization
00:02:34,363 --> 00:02:37,032 are here to tell you all about it.
00:02:37,158 --> 00:02:39,118 Hello, children, I know you're all very excited
00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:41,120 about having the Earth Day Brainwashing Festival
00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:42,705 put on in your town.
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:45,166 You care very much about the Earth, don't you?
00:02:45,291 --> 00:02:46,792 yes.
00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:48,169 Good, because it's up to all of you
00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:50,671 to get lots of people to come and make it look great.
00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:52,173 The festival is on Friday,
00:02:52,298 --> 00:02:54,633 so we'll start getting it ready tomorrow night.
00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:56,177 What?
00:02:56,302 --> 00:02:58,012 We've all gotta pitch in.
00:02:58,137 --> 00:02:59,972 I'm sorry, but the four of us can't help tomorrow night.
00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:00,931 Yeah! Yeah!
00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:02,933 You...what?
00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:04,643 We got tickets to see Terrance and Phillip live
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:05,769 in Denver tomorrow night.
00:03:05,895 --> 00:03:06,562 We paid 40 bucks a piece for them.
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:07,980 And Terrance and Phillip
00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:09,273 are more important than Mother Earth?
00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:10,774 Well, yeah, dude.
00:03:10,900 --> 00:03:14,111 You don't care about Terrance and Phillip.
00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:15,779 Nothing matters more than saving the planet
00:03:15,905 --> 00:03:17,573 from Republicans.
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,783 You don't need to see Terrance and Phillip.
00:03:19,909 --> 00:03:21,994 No, dude, we really, really do.
00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:24,330 Their will is strong.
00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:26,916 Boys, I'm sorry, but nothing's more important than Earth Day.
00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:27,708 Uh, but that's why we're going.
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:28,959 Huh?
00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:30,169 See, we're the official presidents
00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:31,420 of the Terrance and Phillip Fan Club
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:32,588 and we're going to see them tomorrow
00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:33,631 'cause we can get them to perform
00:03:33,756 --> 00:03:35,174 at the Earth Day festival.
00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:36,592 You can get Terrance and Phillip to perform?
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,010 That would be great.
00:03:38,135 --> 00:03:39,637 Terrance and Phillip would draw huge ratings
00:03:39,762 --> 00:03:41,430 from children all over the country.
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,766 Very well, kids, we'll work on getting the event ready here
00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,226 and you go get Terrance and Phillip.
00:03:45,351 --> 00:03:46,227 Alright!
00:03:46,352 --> 00:03:47,853 But I warn you,
00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:49,605 you better not promise things to Earth Day people
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:51,148 that you can't deliver.
00:03:51,273 --> 00:03:56,111 Earth Day people can be very unforgiving.
00:03:56,237 --> 00:03:59,156 Heh-heh, no problem, no problem.
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,035 Ladies and gentlemen...
00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:09,875 put your hands together for Terrance!
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:13,128 Hello, Denver!
00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:15,589 Wow, dude, Terrance got really fat.
00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:17,132 Yeah, he looks terrible.
00:04:17,258 --> 00:04:19,134 How are you all feeling tonight, pretty good?
00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:20,678 Uh-oh.
00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:24,014 Hey, do you all remember this one?
00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:26,267 "Doctor, doctor, I think I cracked my ass."
00:04:26,392 --> 00:04:27,935 Phillip, "let me take a look."
00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:28,978 "Look closer."
00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:31,897 Uh...
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:32,940 where the hell is Phillip?
00:04:33,065 --> 00:04:34,733 Phillip, Phillip!
00:04:36,402 --> 00:04:38,195 Phillip, Phillip, Phillip, Phillip!
00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,281 And now, for some classic Terrance and Phillip comedy.
00:04:41,907 --> 00:04:42,866 Hello, Terrance.
00:04:42,992 --> 00:04:44,118 Hello, Phillip.
00:04:44,243 --> 00:04:45,452 Phillip? That's not Phillip.
00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:47,121 Say, Phillip, I have a question for you.
00:04:47,246 --> 00:04:48,497 Okay, shoot.
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:52,418 Dude, what the hell is going on?
00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:53,627 Why'd they replace Phillip?
00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:55,379 I think this new guy's funny.
00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:57,172 And now here's a classic Terrance and Phillip sketch
00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:58,799 that I wrote back in '62.
00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:01,010 Excuse me, sir, do you know who farted?
00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:02,094 He sure did.
00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:03,762 What's the person's name?
00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:05,055 Who. - The guy that farted?
00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:06,682 Who? - The person that passed gas.
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,350 Who passed gas?
00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:09,435 Now, why you askin' me?
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:10,519 That's the man's name.
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:11,645 That's whose name?
00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:12,938 Yes!
00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:14,606 Something very terrible has happened
00:05:14,732 --> 00:05:15,941 in the world of <i>Terrance and Phillip</i>
00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:17,609 and we've got to find out what.
00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:19,862 Look, buddy, all I'm trying to find out is,
00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,363 what's the guy's name that farted?
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:22,865 What's the guy that drank his own urine?
00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:23,991 Who?
00:05:27,119 --> 00:05:28,662 Come on, guys, we're getting to the bottom of this.
00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:29,955 Excuse us.
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,457 Where do you think you're goin'?
00:05:31,582 --> 00:05:33,125 We have to talk to Terrance. - Yeah, right.
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:34,501 It's okay, we're the Official Presidents
00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:35,502 of the Terrance and Phillip Fan Club.
00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:37,629 Then get in the
00:05:37,755 --> 00:05:42,551 "Official President of Terrance and Phillip Fan Club" line.
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,303 Oh, dude. Gay.
00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:45,637 You don't understand,
00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:47,473 we saved Terrance and Phillip's lives once.
00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:49,183 You and about a thousand other people at one time or another.
00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:50,517 Now get outta my face.
00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:52,144 Redneck!
00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:53,645 Man, this sucks.
00:05:53,771 --> 00:05:55,105 Are you guys official presidents too?
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:56,482 Don't talk to us, kid.
00:05:56,607 --> 00:05:58,317 Hey, look at that line, it's way shorter.
00:05:58,442 --> 00:06:00,235 I don't think we're female groupies or random sluts.
00:06:00,361 --> 00:06:01,904 Kenny's a random slut.
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,614 Well, maybe we can sneak in over there, come on.
00:06:03,739 --> 00:06:04,948 Shh.
00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:09,453 Mmm, mmm, yummy.
00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:11,246 It was so great meeting you.
00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:12,790 I feel like we really shared something.
00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:14,166 We sure did, Betty.
00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:15,542 Next!
00:06:17,336 --> 00:06:20,089 Hello, Terrance, I'm such a huge fan.
00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:21,757 You're a huge fan, alright.
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,258 Could I just have you sign my breasts?
00:06:23,384 --> 00:06:24,676 What do I get in return?
00:06:24,802 --> 00:06:26,011 Whatever you want.
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:28,013 Oh, yeah, oh, that's good, baby.
00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:29,348 Oh, Terrance, I love you. I love you.
00:06:29,473 --> 00:06:32,017 I love you. I love you.
00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:33,727 Man, it smells down there.
00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:35,187 Jesus Christ, that was fast.
00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:36,647 Well, what should we name it, how 'bout Jerry?
00:06:36,772 --> 00:06:37,898 What the hell?
00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:38,982 Oh, wow, we had quadruplets.
00:06:39,108 --> 00:06:40,317 Aah!
00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:41,860 We're not quadruplets, Terrance.
00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:43,320 We snuck in that woman's spandex to get in here.
00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:44,613 Oh, thank God.
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:45,906 The last thing I need is more kids.
00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:47,574 What do you want, an autograph or something?
00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:49,159 No, it's more important than that.
00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:50,953 Our school is putting on a big show for Earth Day
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,704 and we promised people we could get you to perform.
00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:54,206 Earth Day, huh?
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:55,082 That sounds like a very noble cause.
00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:56,250 How much does it pay?
00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:58,460 But where's Phillip? - Who?
00:06:58,585 --> 00:06:59,962 Phillip, your partner.
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:01,338 Why is it that every time somebody sees me,
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:02,923 they have to say, "hey, where's Phillip?"
00:07:03,048 --> 00:07:04,466 Like we're freakin' married or something.
00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:06,635 Y'know, I'll let you tater tots in on a little secret.
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,429 Phillip is a hack.
00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:10,389 You know who wrote all the Terrance and Phillip stuff?
00:07:10,514 --> 00:07:12,808 Me. Phillip never did anything but read his lines.
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:15,102 But the guy that replaced him sucks.
00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:17,563 I know. I know he sucks.
00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:20,315 To be honest, things haven't been going so well lately.
00:07:20,441 --> 00:07:21,733 I'm not making any money
00:07:21,859 --> 00:07:23,193 because everyone wants to see Phillip.
00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:24,361 Why?
00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:25,821 What the hell does Phillip do?
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,448 Because, dude, it's "Terrance and Phillip."
00:07:27,573 --> 00:07:28,740 Ugh, whatever.
00:07:28,866 --> 00:07:30,534 The point is, Phillip and I are through
00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:33,078 and apparently so is the act and so is the money.
00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,247 What if we can get Phillip to agree to get back together?
00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:36,790 Will you do the Earth Day show for us?
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,834 Ha, good luck getting Phillip.
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,669 He left because he wanted to do "more serious stuff."
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,504 The last I heard
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:43,922 he was doing Canadian Shakespeare in Toronto.
00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:45,632 Toronto?
00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:47,050 But we promised the Earth Day people you'd perform.
00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:48,844 Well, in that case,
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,971 I'd say you four boys are up fart creek without a paddle.
00:07:55,726 --> 00:07:57,311 Work, work, children.
00:07:57,436 --> 00:08:00,314 We only have two more days until Earth Day, work!
00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:02,566 Uh, excuse me, my daddy is a geologist
00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:04,526 and he says there actually isn't any concrete evidence
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:06,111 of global warming.
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:07,446 That's not true.
00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:09,448 Global warming is going to kill us all.
00:08:09,573 --> 00:08:11,783 The Republicans are responsible.
00:08:11,909 --> 00:08:13,410 Thank you.
00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:19,708 Oh no, dude.
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,084 Oh, there you are boys.
00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:22,794 I need Terrance and Phillip's information
00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:24,963 so I can tell them their schedule.
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:27,049 Uh, we didn't get them. - You what?
00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:28,425 They're not together anymore, dude.
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:29,968 You better be joking.
00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:31,220 We've already announced their participation.
00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:32,846 Look, we could probably get Terrance,
00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:34,306 but he'll be performing with this other guy.
00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:36,141 You promised us Terrance and Phillip.
00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:38,477 We, therefore, promised the world Terrance and Phillip.
00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:40,562 You will get us Terrance and Phillip or else.
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,022 But there's nothing we can do.
00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,732 Phillip is doing Shakespeare in Canada now.
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:46,318 Then you better get your asses to Canada and get him.
00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:47,945 We'll make travel arrangements.
00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:50,489 Nothing is more important than the environment, boys,
00:08:50,614 --> 00:08:52,866 Not even your lives.
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:55,494 Well, guys, I guess we're going to Canada.
00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:56,370 Sweet.
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,168 Ugh! Ah!
00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:07,839 Part them, they are incensed.
00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:09,091 Nay, come again.
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:10,551 Look to the queen there, buddy.
00:09:10,676 --> 00:09:12,094 They bleed on both sides, how is it, my Lord?
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:13,679 How is it, Laertes?
00:09:13,804 --> 00:09:15,013 Why, as a woodcock to mine own springe, Osric,
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:16,723 I am justly killed with my own treachery.
00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:18,183 How does the queen?
00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:19,101 Hey, guy, she swoons to see them bleed.
00:09:21,645 --> 00:09:23,230 Oh, my dear, Hamlet, I am poisoned.
00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:25,941 Oh, villainy, ho, let the door be locked.
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,526 Treachery, seek it out.
00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:29,778 It is here, Hamlet. Hamlet, thou art slain.
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,405 No medicine in the world can do thee good.
00:09:31,530 --> 00:09:33,240 In thee there is not half an hour of life.
00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:34,658 The treacherous instrument is in thy hand,
00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:36,285 unbated and envenomed.
00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:38,078 The foul practice hath turned itself on me.
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:40,122 Lo, here I lie never to rise again.
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,332 Thy mother's poisoned. I can no more.
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:44,376 The king, the king's to blame.
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:45,877 the point, envenomed too.
00:09:46,003 --> 00:09:48,297 Then, venom to thy work, buddy!
00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:49,840 Treason, treason!
00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:51,466 Oh, yet defend me, friends, I am but hurt.
00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:53,594 Here, thou incestuous, murderous damned dane.
00:09:53,719 --> 00:09:55,596 Drink of this potion, is thy union here?
00:09:55,721 --> 00:09:57,848 Follow my mother.
00:09:57,973 --> 00:10:00,017 He is served, it is a poison tempered by himself.
00:10:00,142 --> 00:10:01,768 Exchange forgiveness with me, noble Hamlet.
00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:03,604 Mine and my father's death came not upon thee
00:10:03,729 --> 00:10:05,147 nor thine on me.
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:07,482 Heaven make free of it, I follow thee, guy.
00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:10,360 I am dead, Horatio, wretched queen, adieu.
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:12,529 You that look pale and tremble at this chance, buddy,
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:14,114 thou are but mutes or audience to this act,
00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:15,824 had I but time--
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,659 as this fell sergeant death is strict in his arrest--
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,828 oh, I could tell you, buddy, but let it be.
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,496 Horatio, I am dead.
00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:23,123 Thou livest, guy,
00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:24,958 report me and my cause aright to the unsatisfied.
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,501 Never believe it.
00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:28,045 I am more an antique Roman than a dane.
00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:29,838 Here's yet some liquor left, buddy.
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:32,132 Jesus-tap-dancing-Christ, is this thing ever gonna end?
00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:34,676 He has my dying voice, so tell him with the occurrence
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:36,219 more and less which have solicited,
00:10:36,345 --> 00:10:38,430 the rest is silence.
00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:40,724 Now cracks a noble heart, good night, sweet prince
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,559 and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest, buddy.
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,437 Phillip, Phillip! - Yes?
00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:47,064 Our town in Colorado was chosen
00:10:47,189 --> 00:10:48,106 to host Earth Day this year and we need a big act.
00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:49,691 Oh, really?
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:50,692 This run of Hamlet is closing down, I'm afraid,
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,277 we could take it there.
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:53,987 Uh, well we were thinking how cool it would be
00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:55,781 if you and Terrance got back together for a reunion--
00:10:55,906 --> 00:10:57,449 Stop right there!
00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:59,493 I'm not doin' nothin' with that fatass egomaniac.
00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:01,078 But we need you.
00:11:01,203 --> 00:11:02,829 I'm sick of him taking credit for all the work
00:11:02,954 --> 00:11:04,122 and not letting me change the act.
00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:05,123 It's old and stale.
00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:06,416 I mean, do you really think
00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:07,793 that fart jokes are funny for that long?
00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:10,295 Look, if you don't come and do the show,
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:11,588 I'll make you eat your parents.
00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:12,547 Yeah, whatever kid.
00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:13,548 He'll do it, dude.
00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:15,467 Uh, look, Phillip.
00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:16,593 Everyone in South Park just wants to see your serious side.
00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:18,303 What? What?
00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:19,888 They told us, "that Phillip, he's the one with talent.
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,390 Just get him for Earth Day." - Really?
00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:23,392 Well that sounds interesting, how much does it pay?
00:11:23,517 --> 00:11:25,686 $2,000. - I'm in!
00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:28,188 Here, call me at this number with the details, gotta run.
00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:30,232 Dude, you didn't tell him Terrance would be there.
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,733 I didn't say he wouldn't be there, either.
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:33,235 Look, all we have to do is get them there, right?
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,778 Once Terrance and Phillip get together again,
00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:36,113 it'll be like old times.
00:11:36,238 --> 00:11:37,989 Oh, Kyle, you just made a huge withdrawal
00:11:38,115 --> 00:11:40,117 at the "First Bank of Lies."
00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:41,493 It'll--it'll be okay.
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:46,707 Work faster.
00:11:46,832 --> 00:11:51,086 Faster, children, Earth Day is coming.
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,462 Well, boys, it's rehearsal time
00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:54,589 and your Terrance and Phillip haven't shown up.
00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:55,841 They said they'd come.
00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:57,092 I'm sure they'll be here any minute.
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:58,885 Maybe you kids don't understand
00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:01,596 how important Earth Day is for the future of our planet.
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:02,889 Maybe you need some convincing.
00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:03,890 Karl.
00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:04,891 Ahh!
00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:06,643 Oh, my God!
00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:07,769 Excuse me, is this where the Earth Day crap is happening?
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,312 He's here.
00:12:09,438 --> 00:12:11,273 Oh, very good. Mr. Phillip, I'm Jack Forest,
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:12,858 head of the Earth Day committee.
00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:14,818 Thank you for being a part of this important event.
00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:16,069 Whatever, where's my check?
00:12:16,194 --> 00:12:17,821 Alright, I'm here, where do I--
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:19,364 what's he doing here?
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:20,949 Alright, let's do a rehearsal
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,200 so that the camera crew can get a look at it.
00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:26,413 Wow, isn't this great,
00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:27,998 You guys seeing each other again?
00:12:28,123 --> 00:12:29,624 Yeah, you must have a lot of catching up to do
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:31,042 but let's rehearse first.
00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:32,544 So, this is your doing, huh, Terrance?
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,045 My doing?
00:12:34,171 --> 00:12:35,922 These kids called me and said it was your idea
00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:37,424 and that you wanted to apologize.
00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:38,967 Please, you guys, this is for Earth Day.
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:41,636 You care about Mother Earth, don't you?
00:12:41,762 --> 00:12:42,971 Well, what the hell?
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,639 I already flew all the way out here.
00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:46,308 But I want my check made out to me, not both of us.
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,393 Ditto! - Fine.
00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:50,270 See, I told you it would work.
00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:52,272 Alright, we'll come off the speech of the dying whales
00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:54,149 and then, action.
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,193 Doctor, doctor, I've cracked my ass.
00:12:56,318 --> 00:12:57,277 Really? Let me take a look.
00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:58,361 Look closer.
00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:04,326 Yon fart doth smell of elderberry sweet--
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:06,077 That's not the line, asshole.
00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:07,537 You're right, it's a better one, asshole.
00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:09,039 Just do the bit right, dick face!
00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:10,207 Why don't you go eat some more pudding,
00:13:10,332 --> 00:13:11,833 you fatass drug addict!
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,752 I may be fat, but at least I didn't get hair plugs.
00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:15,295 That's it!
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:16,963 I ain't doin' nothin' with "Kooko the Whale"!
00:13:17,088 --> 00:13:19,424 I never needed you in the first place, you hack!
00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:21,802 You can't leave, the show starts soon.
00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:25,472 Boys, you've got three hours to get those two back together.
00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:27,265 Do I need to remind you what will happen if you don't?
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:28,433 Karl!
00:13:28,558 --> 00:13:29,726 Owww!
00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:31,686 You bastards. - Good luck, boys.
00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:33,980 We've got to get them back together, you guys.
00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:35,232 They could do this to us!
00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:42,364 Tom, I'm standing in South Park, Colorado,
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:45,075 where Earth Day 2001 is in full force.
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:46,952 Environmental awareness games, booths
00:13:47,077 --> 00:13:48,954 and of course, the entertainment on stage
00:13:49,079 --> 00:13:51,081 which is being broadcast live all over the country.
00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:54,417 This eco-happy crowd is thrilled and waiting in anticipation
00:13:54,543 --> 00:13:56,628 for the arrival of Terrance and Phillip,
00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:59,256 who were promised by these four boys.
00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:01,341 What a touching and true song.
00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:04,845 You know it's true, Republicans are ruining the earth.
00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:07,264 Republicans are ruining the earth.
00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:08,974 Alright.
00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:10,809 Well, I think I know why most you tuned in today.
00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:12,853 How about some Earth Day entertainment?
00:14:17,983 --> 00:14:20,986 Hooray for the Earth, we must protect it.
00:14:21,111 --> 00:14:22,571 And now, as promised,
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:27,868 Here are Terrance and Phillip...on video.
00:14:27,993 --> 00:14:31,246 On video?
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:33,874 They were considered the best comedy act in all of Canada,
00:14:33,999 --> 00:14:35,750 but a fast-paced rocket ride to success
00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:38,169 would bring them to the depths of despair.
00:14:38,295 --> 00:14:41,339 This is <i>Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow.</i>
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:42,799 Wow.
00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:44,634 What the hell do you call this?
00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:46,344 It's <i>Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow.</i>
00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:47,888 I taped it last month.
00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:49,681 We promised people Terrance and Phillip,
00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:51,224 not a video documentary.
00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:53,727 You've ruined the Earth for the last time, boys!
00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:57,397 Aah!
00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:59,649 Terrance was born "Terrance Henry Stute"
00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:01,818 in the small Canadian village of Toronto.
00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:03,403 At a very early age,
00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:05,280 his parents noticed an uncanny musical ability
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:06,740 and decided to enroll him
00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:09,075 in the Canadian school for gifted babies.
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:12,078 It was here that he partnered up with Phillip Niles Argyle,
00:15:12,203 --> 00:15:14,539 a brash young baby from Montreal.
00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:16,750 Together, they performed musical acts
00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:18,418 that stunned Canadians everywhere.
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:20,045 At the tender age of six,
00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:22,380 Terrance and Phillip were off to the United States
00:15:22,505 --> 00:15:24,466 to perform on the <i>Ed Sullivan Show</i>
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:26,718 where American audiences would be exposed to Canadians
00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,762 for the first time.
00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:30,096 And now, ladies and gentlemen,
00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:32,641 we have two adorable little boys from Canada.
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:33,892 Please put your hands together
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:36,269 for the music of young Terrance and Phillip.
00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:39,147 ♪ Beef and lamb chicken and ham ♪
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:40,523 ♪ Step to the left and clap your hands ♪
00:15:40,649 --> 00:15:41,816 ♪ Gosh we love that chicken and ham ♪
00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:44,527 ♪ Don't you love that chicken and ham ♪
00:15:44,653 --> 00:15:46,112 Oh, my God, what's wrong with their heads?
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:48,031 It's alright, darling, they're just Canadian.
00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:49,324 Oh.
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:50,784 ♪ Beef and lamb chicken and ham ♪
00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:51,826 ♪ Step to the left and clap your hands ♪
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:53,119 ♪ Gosh we love that chicken and ham ♪
00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:54,704 ♪ Don't you love my chicken and ham ♪
00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:57,540 the Canadian act confused American audiences,
00:15:57,666 --> 00:15:59,250 but then something happened
00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:02,128 that would change Terrance and Phillip's act forever.
00:16:14,015 --> 00:16:16,017 It was the birth of Canadian comedy.
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:17,644 Terrance and Phillip
00:16:17,769 --> 00:16:19,437 spent the next several years perfecting their art
00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:23,274 and meeting some of America's most influential people.
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:24,818 Excuse me, which way is the bus station?
00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:26,194 Hey, you're the guy on the screen.
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,154 What?
00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:30,156 But it was in 1974 on the <i>Sonny and Cher Show</i>
00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:31,658 that Terrance and Phillip
00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:33,243 finally started to mix their Canadian humor
00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:35,662 with deep political insight.
00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:37,455 You know, Cher, a lot of us real Americans
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:38,999 don't know much about Canada.
00:16:39,124 --> 00:16:40,500 Well, all of us real Americans
00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:43,670 aren't as stupid and short as you.
00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:45,296 Please put your groovy hands together
00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:47,424 for the young and talented Terrance and Phillip.
00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:51,928 Say, Terrance, I'm getting worried aboot
00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:53,555 all these Russians making missiles.
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,181 Maybe we should stop this "Cold War."
00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:58,393 Here's a missile for ya.
00:16:58,518 --> 00:16:59,519 That's better.
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,696 With this bold mix of humor and political insight,
00:17:09,821 --> 00:17:11,990 the world couldn't get enough of Terrance and Phillip,
00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:13,825 but their fame would come at a price
00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:16,327 when <i>Behind the Blow</i> continues.
00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:18,163 Okay, okay, I think we lost 'em.
00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:20,248 Jesus, man, those Earth people don't screw around.
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:22,083 Kyle, none of this would be happening
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:23,460 if you hadn't lied in the first place.
00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:25,545 You lied and then you lied to cover up your lies.
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,630 I didn't see you complaining at the time, fat boy!
00:17:27,756 --> 00:17:29,799 Guys, we have no choice, we're gonna have to move away.
00:17:29,924 --> 00:17:31,634 Environmental activists don't use logic or reason.
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:34,220 There they are!
00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:35,930 Ahh!
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:42,270 As they entered their late teens,
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:43,772 Terrance and Phillip were already starting to taste
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,023 the sweet milk of success,
00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:46,733 but the price of fame was looming
00:17:46,858 --> 00:17:49,861 as <i>Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow</i> continues.
00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:51,279 The '70s and '80s were a good time
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:52,781 for young Terrance and Phillip.
00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:54,282 Their act on <i>The Donny and Marie Show</i>
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,076 won them a Nobel Peace Prize.
00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:57,911 They were on the cover of every magazine.
00:17:58,036 --> 00:17:59,704 And then in 1998,
00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:01,998 even a Saturday morning cartoon was made
00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:03,750 based on Terrance and Phillip.
00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:05,919 Terrance and Phillip themselves supplied the voices.
00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:07,378 Say, Terrance, what should we do
00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:09,172 aboot this strange planet we've crashed on?
00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:11,049 I don't know, Phillip.
00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:12,884 It seems like the alien species here breathe an inert gas.
00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:14,552 Uh-oh, did you say what I thought you said?
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:18,598 As leader of the Goat People,
00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:20,725 I have seen my species nearly wiped out
00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,310 by your dangerous gas.
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:23,937 Wow, that sucks.
00:18:25,313 --> 00:18:26,856 The cartoon was such a huge success
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,149 that it started to breed confusion
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:29,818 over whether Terrance and Phillip
00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:32,153 were animated characters or real people.
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,572 And so in 1998, the comedy team started work
00:18:34,697 --> 00:18:36,825 on what they thought would be their greatest achievement,
00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:38,368 a made-for-TV movie
00:18:38,493 --> 00:18:40,203 written by and starting Terrance and Phillip
00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:42,580 called <i>Not Without My Anus.</i>
00:18:42,705 --> 00:18:44,290 It was their biggest project to date,
00:18:44,415 --> 00:18:46,376 but it had the misfortune of being scheduled on a night
00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:48,837 when a different and more popular television show,
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:51,965 <i>the John Schneider Variety Hour</i> was supposed to air.
00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:53,633 When fans tuned in to see John Schneider
00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:56,511 and instead were treated to the Canadian made-for-TV movie,
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:59,222 they were enraged, bewildered, and scared.
00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:01,516 The fans revolted and burned down the network,
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:04,811 killing six television producers and wounding 12 others.
00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:07,188 The hatred of Terrance and Phillip had begun.
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,065 Terrance fell into a deep depression
00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:10,900 and started abusing wood polish.
00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:12,652 Phillip beat up an angry six-year-old fan
00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:14,320 and was sued for $6 million.
00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:16,865 It was the first time the duo tasted failure
00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:18,741 and it nearly killed them both.
00:19:18,867 --> 00:19:21,035 What's going on here?
00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:24,747 Shh, we're watchin' <i>Behind the Blow.</i>
00:19:24,873 --> 00:19:27,584 Come on, Kenny, hurry up!
00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:30,128 After years of depression and suicide attempts,
00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:32,630 Terrance and Phillip finally decided to get together
00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:34,424 for one last film,
00:19:34,549 --> 00:19:37,969 the 1999 smash hit <i>Asses of Fire.</i>
00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:39,971 It was one of the highest grossing films of the summer.
00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:41,389 And though the film also started
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,391 the Canadian-American war of 1999
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,351 in which eight million people lost their lives,
00:19:45,476 --> 00:19:47,604 the film was considered a great success.
00:19:47,729 --> 00:19:49,939 After almost being executed by the American government,
00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:52,066 Terrance and Phillip were eventually returned to Canada
00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:53,943 where they were touted as heroes.
00:19:54,068 --> 00:19:55,778 They had been to hell and back,
00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:58,406 through the very best and the very worst of times together,
00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:00,909 but they had seen it through, and so ends
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:03,453 <i>Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow.</i>
00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:07,457 Terrance.
00:20:07,582 --> 00:20:08,791 Oh, Phillip, you're still here too.
00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:10,335 I was just watching this video.
00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:13,046 You know, I've never seen it before.
00:20:13,171 --> 00:20:15,256 Me neither.
00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:17,425 We sure did go through a lot together.
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:20,136 We sure did.
00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:21,471 Terrance, I--
00:20:21,596 --> 00:20:23,014 Don't, no, Phillip, don't say it.
00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:24,474 I was an asshole, this is mostly my fault.
00:20:24,599 --> 00:20:26,100 That's what I was gonna say,
00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:29,229 You're an asshole and this was mostly your fault.
00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:31,856 But you were always the more artistically driven of us.
00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:33,524 I should've put more into it than I did.
00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:34,692 No, Phillip.
00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:36,069 I really thought I did everything,
00:20:36,194 --> 00:20:39,280 until I tried to do it alone.
00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:52,585 Think of all the endangered species
00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:54,212 that will now vanish because of you.
00:20:54,337 --> 00:20:55,129 Karl!
00:20:57,006 --> 00:20:58,633 So long, boys.
00:20:58,758 --> 00:20:59,717 Wait, dude, look.
00:21:02,512 --> 00:21:04,180 Thank you, everyone, thank you.
00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:06,224 You know, Phillip and I have learned an important lesson,
00:21:06,349 --> 00:21:07,934 that when you go through a lot with somebody,
00:21:08,059 --> 00:21:09,769 you can't let trite things come between you.
00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:11,020 That's right, Terrance.
00:21:11,145 --> 00:21:12,063 You should only let trite things
00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:13,731 come between your ass cheeks.
00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:15,525 Oh, no!
00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:16,609 They're back.
00:21:16,734 --> 00:21:17,610 Alright!
00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:19,988 Yes, Earth Day is saved, boys.
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:21,531 Everything worked out after all.
00:21:21,656 --> 00:21:23,116 It sure did.
00:21:23,241 --> 00:21:24,742 Look, Kenny, everything turned out okay.
00:21:26,536 --> 00:21:27,787 Say, Terrance, can you tell me who farted?
00:21:27,912 --> 00:21:29,372 He sure did, Phillip.
00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:31,124 No, I'm asking you his name.
00:21:31,249 --> 00:21:33,418 And so Terrance and Phillip got back together,
00:21:33,543 --> 00:21:35,420 proving once and for all that fame and fortune
00:21:35,545 --> 00:21:37,380 are never as important as friendship.
00:21:37,505 --> 00:21:38,965 ♪ Beef and lamb chicken and ham ♪
00:21:39,090 --> 00:21:40,258 ♪ Step to the left and clap your hands ♪
00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:41,426 ♪ Gosh we love that chicken and ham ♪
00:21:41,551 --> 00:21:42,552 ♪ Don't they love that chicken and ham ♪
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:48,224 ♪ Beef and lamb chicken and ham ♪
00:21:48,349 --> 00:21:49,267 ♪ Step to the left and clap your hands ♪
00:21:49,392 --> 00:21:50,601 ♪ Gosh we love that chicken and ham ♪
00:21:50,727 --> 00:21:51,811 ♪ Don't they love that chicken and ham ♪
00:21:51,936 --> 00:21:53,229 ♪ Beef and lamb chicken and ham ♪
00:21:53,354 --> 00:21:54,272 ♪ Step to the left and clap your hands ♪
00:21:54,397 --> 00:21:55,815 ♪ Gosh we love that chicken and ham ♪
00:21:55,940 --> 00:21:56,190 ♪ Don't they love that chicken and ham ♪

00:00:09,260 --> 00:00:10,803 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:00:10,928 --> 00:00:12,513 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:14,348 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:14,473 --> 00:00:16,017 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:16,142 --> 00:00:17,059 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:19,103 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:21,063 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:22,606 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
00:00:22,732 --> 00:00:23,983 ♪ Headin' on up to South Park ♪
00:00:24,108 --> 00:00:26,235 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,071 ♪ [muffled] ♪
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:30,489 ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:32,533 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:35,286 --> 00:00:38,247 And so, in her career filled with lies, back-stabbing
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:39,665 and whoring herself for money,
00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,834 she learned that the price of fame can be
00:00:41,959 --> 00:00:45,087 pleasing 65 men at once in a dark, dirty alley.
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:48,507 And so ends <i>Punky Brewster: Behind the Blow.</i>
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:49,550 Whoa, bummer, dude.
00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:51,218 Okay, dude, it's 3:30.
00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:53,262 It's time for <i>The Terrance and Phillip Show.</i>
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:54,263 All: Yay!
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:55,514 Excuse me, buddy.
00:00:55,639 --> 00:00:56,515 Why, did you fart?
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:57,767 Oh no!
00:00:57,892 --> 00:00:58,934 Oh, man, this is another rerun.
00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:00,561 Are you sure? I haven't seen it.
00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:02,271 Yeah, fatass, this is their famous mechanic sketch.
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:03,981 I'm looking for a mechanic.
00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:05,649 Can you tell me how to get to the auto garage?
00:01:05,775 --> 00:01:07,526 Sure, buddy, all you need to do is go down to the--
00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:10,488 [farts]
00:01:10,613 --> 00:01:11,739 and that's how you--
00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:12,907 [together] "get to the auto garage."
00:01:13,032 --> 00:01:14,450 Could you tell me
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:15,868 how to get to the auto garage without farting?
00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:17,369 Sure, you go the same way--
00:01:17,495 --> 00:01:18,788 "except stick your finger up your ass."
00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:20,247 No, no, no.
00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:21,665 I mean could you tell me the directions again
00:01:21,791 --> 00:01:22,958 without you farting?
00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:24,210 Oh, sure.
00:01:24,335 --> 00:01:25,669 Just stick your finger up my ass.
00:01:25,795 --> 00:01:27,338 Alright, no problem, buddy.
00:01:27,463 --> 00:01:30,049 Now tell me how do I get to the auto garage to see a mechanic?
00:01:30,174 --> 00:01:31,801 You're at the auto garage. I am the mechanic.
00:01:31,926 --> 00:01:33,886 Why the heck didn't you tell me you were the mechanic?
00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:35,096 "Because I had an itch up my ass."
00:01:35,221 --> 00:01:36,430 Because I had an itch up my ass.
00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:38,766 [laughing]
00:01:38,891 --> 00:01:39,892 [farts]
00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:44,355 Terrance and Phillip will be right back...
00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:46,315 after these messages.
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,109 When are they gonna make new ones?
00:01:48,234 --> 00:01:50,111 Hey, kids, don't miss the greatest event of the year.
00:01:50,236 --> 00:01:51,821 This Thursday night at the Denver Coliseum,
00:01:51,946 --> 00:01:54,240 see Terrance and Phillip live and in person.
00:01:54,365 --> 00:01:55,574 What's this?
00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:57,243 One night and one night only,
00:01:57,368 --> 00:01:58,869 see all your favorite Terrance and Phillip bits live.
00:01:58,994 --> 00:02:00,246 Oh my God!
00:02:00,371 --> 00:02:01,497 You guys, you guys!
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:02,957 I know, I know.
00:02:03,082 --> 00:02:04,583 To order tickets, call Ticket Slave now!
00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:06,377 Write the number down! Write the number down!
00:02:06,502 --> 00:02:08,379 [school bell rings]
00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:09,380 Dude, did you get 'em?
00:02:09,505 --> 00:02:11,173 I got 'em.
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:12,633 Four tickets, 68th row to <i>Terrance and Phillip.</i>
00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:13,926 I waited in line since 3:00 this morning.
00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,761 Awesome, give me mine.
00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:17,429 Wow, you guys are gonna see Terrance and Phillip live?
00:02:17,555 --> 00:02:19,014 Yup, tomorrow night.
00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:20,933 Alright, children, let's settle down.
00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:23,227 As you know, this coming Friday is Earth Day,
00:02:23,352 --> 00:02:24,812 and I'm pleased to announce
00:02:24,937 --> 00:02:26,605 that the national Earth Day organization
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,482 has chosen South Park as its location
00:02:28,607 --> 00:02:30,568 for the Earth Day Brainwashing Festival.
00:02:30,693 --> 00:02:32,194 All: Oh!
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,238 The heads of the Earth Day Brainwashing Organization
00:02:34,363 --> 00:02:37,032 are here to tell you all about it.
00:02:37,158 --> 00:02:39,118 Hello, children, I know you're all very excited
00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:41,120 about having the Earth Day Brainwashing Festival
00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:42,705 put on in your town.
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:45,166 You care very much about the Earth, don't you?
00:02:45,291 --> 00:02:46,792 All: yes.
00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:48,169 Good, because it's up to all of you
00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:50,671 to get lots of people to come and make it look great.
00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:52,173 The festival is on Friday,
00:02:52,298 --> 00:02:54,633 so we'll start getting it ready tomorrow night.
00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:56,177 What?
00:02:56,302 --> 00:02:58,012 We've all gotta pitch in.
00:02:58,137 --> 00:02:59,972 I'm sorry, but the four of us can't help tomorrow night.
00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:00,931 Yeah! Yeah!
00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:02,933 You...what?
00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:04,643 We got tickets to see Terrance and Phillip live
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:05,769 in Denver tomorrow night.
00:03:05,895 --> 00:03:06,562 We paid 40 bucks a piece for them.
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:07,980 And Terrance and Phillip
00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:09,273 are more important than Mother Earth?
00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:10,774 Well, yeah, dude.
00:03:10,900 --> 00:03:14,111 You don't care about Terrance and Phillip.
00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:15,779 Nothing matters more than saving the planet
00:03:15,905 --> 00:03:17,573 from Republicans.
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,783 You don't need to see Terrance and Phillip.
00:03:19,909 --> 00:03:21,994 No, dude, we really, really do.
00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:24,330 Their will is strong.
00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:26,916 Boys, I'm sorry, but nothing's more important than Earth Day.
00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:27,708 Uh, but that's why we're going.
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:28,959 Huh?
00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:30,169 See, we're the official presidents
00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:31,420 of the Terrance and Phillip Fan Club
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:32,588 and we're going to see them tomorrow
00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:33,631 'cause we can get them to perform
00:03:33,756 --> 00:03:35,174 at the Earth Day festival.
00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:36,592 You can get Terrance and Phillip to perform?
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,010 That would be great.
00:03:38,135 --> 00:03:39,637 Terrance and Phillip would draw huge ratings
00:03:39,762 --> 00:03:41,430 from children all over the country.
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,766 Very well, kids, we'll work on getting the event ready here
00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,226 and you go get Terrance and Phillip.
00:03:45,351 --> 00:03:46,227 [all] Alright!
00:03:46,352 --> 00:03:47,853 But I warn you,
00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:49,605 you better not promise things to Earth Day people
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:51,148 that you can't deliver.
00:03:51,273 --> 00:03:56,111 Earth Day people can be very unforgiving.
00:03:56,237 --> 00:03:59,156 Heh-heh, no problem, no problem.
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,035 Ladies and gentlemen...
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,787 [cheering]
00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:09,875 put your hands together for Terrance!
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:13,128 Hello, Denver!
00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:14,421 [scattered applause]
00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:15,589 Wow, dude, Terrance got really fat.
00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:17,132 Yeah, he looks terrible.
00:04:17,258 --> 00:04:19,134 How are you all feeling tonight, pretty good?
00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:20,678 Uh-oh. [farts]
00:04:20,803 --> 00:04:21,971 [sparse laughter]
00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:24,014 Hey, do you all remember this one?
00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:26,267 "Doctor, doctor, I think I cracked my ass."
00:04:26,392 --> 00:04:27,935 Phillip, "let me take a look."
00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:28,978 "Look closer."
00:04:29,103 --> 00:04:30,771 [farting and cackling]
00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:31,897 Uh...
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:32,940 where the hell is Phillip?
00:04:33,065 --> 00:04:34,733 Phillip, Phillip!
00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:36,277 [crowd chanting]
00:04:36,402 --> 00:04:38,195 Phillip, Phillip, Phillip, Phillip!
00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,281 And now, for some classic Terrance and Phillip comedy.
00:04:40,406 --> 00:04:41,782 [cheering]
00:04:41,907 --> 00:04:42,866 Hello, Terrance.
00:04:42,992 --> 00:04:44,118 Hello, Phillip.
00:04:44,243 --> 00:04:45,452 Phillip? That's not Phillip.
00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:47,121 Say, Phillip, I have a question for you.
00:04:47,246 --> 00:04:48,497 Okay, shoot.
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:51,041 [farts]
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:52,418 Dude, what the hell is going on?
00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:53,627 Why'd they replace Phillip?
00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:55,379 I think this new guy's funny.
00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:57,172 And now here's a classic Terrance and Phillip sketch
00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:58,799 that I wrote back in '62.
00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:01,010 Excuse me, sir, do you know who farted?
00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:02,094 He sure did.
00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:03,762 What's the person's name?
00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:05,055 Who. - The guy that farted?
00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:06,682 Who? - The person that passed gas.
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,350 Who passed gas?
00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:09,435 Now, why you askin' me?
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:10,519 That's the man's name.
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:11,645 That's whose name?
00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:12,938 Yes!
00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:14,606 Something very terrible has happened
00:05:14,732 --> 00:05:15,941 in the world of <i>Terrance and Phillip</i>
00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:17,609 and we've got to find out what.
00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:19,862 Look, buddy, all I'm trying to find out is,
00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,363 what's the guy's name that farted?
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:22,865 What's the guy that drank his own urine?
00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:23,991 Who?
00:05:27,119 --> 00:05:28,662 Come on, guys, we're getting to the bottom of this.
00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:29,955 Excuse us.
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,457 Where do you think you're goin'?
00:05:31,582 --> 00:05:33,125 We have to talk to Terrance. - Yeah, right.
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:34,501 It's okay, we're the Official Presidents
00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:35,502 of the Terrance and Phillip Fan Club.
00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:37,629 Then get in the
00:05:37,755 --> 00:05:42,551 "Official President of Terrance and Phillip Fan Club" line.
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,303 Oh, dude. Gay.
00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:45,637 You don't understand,
00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:47,473 we saved Terrance and Phillip's lives once.
00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:49,183 You and about a thousand other people at one time or another.
00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:50,517 Now get outta my face.
00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:52,144 Redneck!
00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:53,645 Man, this sucks.
00:05:53,771 --> 00:05:55,105 Are you guys official presidents too?
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:56,482 Don't talk to us, kid.
00:05:56,607 --> 00:05:58,317 Hey, look at that line, it's way shorter.
00:05:58,442 --> 00:06:00,235 I don't think we're female groupies or random sluts.
00:06:00,361 --> 00:06:01,904 Kenny's a random slut.
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,614 Well, maybe we can sneak in over there, come on.
00:06:03,739 --> 00:06:04,948 Shh.
00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:09,453 Mmm, mmm, yummy.
00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:11,246 It was so great meeting you.
00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:12,790 I feel like we really shared something.
00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:14,166 We sure did, Betty.
00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:15,542 Next!
00:06:17,336 --> 00:06:20,089 Hello, Terrance, I'm such a huge fan.
00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:21,757 You're a huge fan, alright.
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,258 Could I just have you sign my breasts?
00:06:23,384 --> 00:06:24,676 What do I get in return?
00:06:24,802 --> 00:06:26,011 Whatever you want.
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:28,013 Oh, yeah, oh, that's good, baby.
00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:29,348 Oh, Terrance, I love you. I love you.
00:06:29,473 --> 00:06:32,017 I love you. I love you.
00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:33,727 Man, it smells down there.
00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:35,187 Jesus Christ, that was fast.
00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:36,647 Well, what should we name it, how 'bout Jerry?
00:06:36,772 --> 00:06:37,898 What the hell?
00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:38,982 Oh, wow, we had quadruplets.
00:06:39,108 --> 00:06:40,317 Aah!
00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:41,860 We're not quadruplets, Terrance.
00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:43,320 We snuck in that woman's spandex to get in here.
00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:44,613 Oh, thank God.
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:45,906 The last thing I need is more kids.
00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:47,574 What do you want, an autograph or something?
00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:49,159 No, it's more important than that.
00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:50,953 Our school is putting on a big show for Earth Day
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,704 and we promised people we could get you to perform.
00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:54,206 Earth Day, huh?
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:55,082 That sounds like a very noble cause.
00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:56,250 How much does it pay?
00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:58,460 But where's Phillip? - Who?
00:06:58,585 --> 00:06:59,962 Phillip, your partner.
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:01,338 Why is it that every time somebody sees me,
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:02,923 they have to say, "hey, where's Phillip?"
00:07:03,048 --> 00:07:04,466 Like we're freakin' married or something.
00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:06,635 Y'know, I'll let you tater tots in on a little secret.
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,429 Phillip is a hack.
00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:10,389 You know who wrote all the Terrance and Phillip stuff?
00:07:10,514 --> 00:07:12,808 Me. Phillip never did anything but read his lines.
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:15,102 But the guy that replaced him sucks.
00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:17,563 I know. I know he sucks.
00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:20,315 To be honest, things haven't been going so well lately.
00:07:20,441 --> 00:07:21,733 I'm not making any money
00:07:21,859 --> 00:07:23,193 because everyone wants to see Phillip.
00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:24,361 Why?
00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:25,821 What the hell does Phillip do?
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,448 Because, dude, it's "Terrance and Phillip."
00:07:27,573 --> 00:07:28,740 Ugh, whatever.
00:07:28,866 --> 00:07:30,534 The point is, Phillip and I are through
00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:33,078 and apparently so is the act and so is the money.
00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,247 What if we can get Phillip to agree to get back together?
00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:36,790 Will you do the Earth Day show for us?
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,834 Ha, good luck getting Phillip.
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,669 He left because he wanted to do "more serious stuff."
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,504 The last I heard
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:43,922 he was doing Canadian Shakespeare in Toronto.
00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:45,632 [mumbling] Toronto?
00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:47,050 But we promised the Earth Day people you'd perform.
00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:48,844 Well, in that case,
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,971 I'd say you four boys are up fart creek without a paddle.
00:07:55,726 --> 00:07:57,311 Work, work, children.
00:07:57,436 --> 00:08:00,314 We only have two more days until Earth Day, work!
00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:02,566 Uh, excuse me, my daddy is a geologist
00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:04,526 and he says there actually isn't any concrete evidence
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:06,111 of global warming.
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:07,446 That's not true.
00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:09,448 Global warming is going to kill us all.
00:08:09,573 --> 00:08:11,783 The Republicans are responsible.
00:08:11,909 --> 00:08:13,410 Thank you.
00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:19,708 Oh no, dude.
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,084 Oh, there you are boys.
00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:22,794 I need Terrance and Phillip's information
00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:24,963 so I can tell them their schedule.
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:27,049 Uh, we didn't get them. - You what?
00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:28,425 They're not together anymore, dude.
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:29,968 You better be joking.
00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:31,220 We've already announced their participation.
00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:32,846 Look, we could probably get Terrance,
00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:34,306 but he'll be performing with this other guy.
00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:36,141 You promised us Terrance and Phillip.
00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:38,477 We, therefore, promised the world Terrance and Phillip.
00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:40,562 You will get us Terrance and Phillip or else.
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,022 But there's nothing we can do.
00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,732 Phillip is doing Shakespeare in Canada now.
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:46,318 Then you better get your asses to Canada and get him.
00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:47,945 We'll make travel arrangements.
00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:50,489 Nothing is more important than the environment, boys,
00:08:50,614 --> 00:08:52,866 Not even your lives.
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:55,494 Well, guys, I guess we're going to Canada.
00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:56,370 Sweet.
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,168 Ugh! Ah!
00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:07,839 Part them, they are incensed.
00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:09,091 Nay, come again.
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:10,551 Look to the queen there, buddy.
00:09:10,676 --> 00:09:12,094 They bleed on both sides, how is it, my Lord?
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:13,679 How is it, Laertes?
00:09:13,804 --> 00:09:15,013 Why, as a woodcock to mine own springe, Osric,
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:16,723 I am justly killed with my own treachery.
00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:18,183 How does the queen?
00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:19,101 Hey, guy, she swoons to see them bleed.
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:21,520 [all sighing]
00:09:21,645 --> 00:09:23,230 Oh, my dear, Hamlet, I am poisoned.
00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:25,941 Oh, villainy, ho, let the door be locked.
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,526 Treachery, seek it out.
00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:29,778 It is here, Hamlet. Hamlet, thou art slain.
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,405 No medicine in the world can do thee good.
00:09:31,530 --> 00:09:33,240 In thee there is not half an hour of life.
00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:34,658 The treacherous instrument is in thy hand,
00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:36,285 unbated and envenomed.
00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:38,078 The foul practice hath turned itself on me.
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:40,122 Lo, here I lie never to rise again.
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,332 Thy mother's poisoned. I can no more.
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:44,376 The king, the king's to blame.
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:45,877 the point, envenomed too.
00:09:46,003 --> 00:09:48,297 Then, venom to thy work, buddy!
00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:49,840 All: Treason, treason!
00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:51,466 Oh, yet defend me, friends, I am but hurt.
00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:53,594 Here, thou incestuous, murderous damned dane.
00:09:53,719 --> 00:09:55,596 Drink of this potion, is thy union here?
00:09:55,721 --> 00:09:57,848 Follow my mother.
00:09:57,973 --> 00:10:00,017 He is served, it is a poison tempered by himself.
00:10:00,142 --> 00:10:01,768 Exchange forgiveness with me, noble Hamlet.
00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:03,604 Mine and my father's death came not upon thee
00:10:03,729 --> 00:10:05,147 nor thine on me.
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:07,482 Heaven make free of it, I follow thee, guy.
00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:10,360 I am dead, Horatio, wretched queen, adieu.
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:12,529 You that look pale and tremble at this chance, buddy,
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:14,114 thou are but mutes or audience to this act,
00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:15,824 had I but time--
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,659 as this fell sergeant death is strict in his arrest--
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,828 oh, I could tell you, buddy, but let it be.
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,496 Horatio, I am dead.
00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:23,123 Thou livest, guy,
00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:24,958 report me and my cause aright to the unsatisfied.
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,501 Never believe it.
00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:28,045 I am more an antique Roman than a dane.
00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:29,838 Here's yet some liquor left, buddy.
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:32,132 Jesus-tap-dancing-Christ, is this thing ever gonna end?
00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:34,676 He has my dying voice, so tell him with the occurrence
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:36,219 more and less which have solicited,
00:10:36,345 --> 00:10:38,430 the rest is silence.
00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:40,724 Now cracks a noble heart, good night, sweet prince
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,559 and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest, buddy.
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,437 Phillip, Phillip! - Yes?
00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:47,064 Our town in Colorado was chosen
00:10:47,189 --> 00:10:48,106 to host Earth Day this year and we need a big act.
00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:49,691 Oh, really?
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:50,692 This run of Hamlet is closing down, I'm afraid,
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,277 we could take it there.
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:53,987 Uh, well we were thinking how cool it would be
00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:55,781 if you and Terrance got back together for a reunion--
00:10:55,906 --> 00:10:57,449 Stop right there!
00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:59,493 I'm not doin' nothin' with that fatass egomaniac.
00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:01,078 But we need you.
00:11:01,203 --> 00:11:02,829 I'm sick of him taking credit for all the work
00:11:02,954 --> 00:11:04,122 and not letting me change the act.
00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:05,123 It's old and stale.
00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:06,416 I mean, do you really think
00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:07,793 that fart jokes are funny for that long?
00:11:07,918 --> 00:11:09,127 [farts and laughs]
00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:10,295 Look, if you don't come and do the show,
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:11,588 I'll make you eat your parents.
00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:12,547 Yeah, whatever kid.
00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:13,548 He'll do it, dude.
00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:15,467 Uh, look, Phillip.
00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:16,593 Everyone in South Park just wants to see your serious side.
00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:18,303 What? What?
00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:19,888 They told us, "that Phillip, he's the one with talent.
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,390 Just get him for Earth Day." - Really?
00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:23,392 Well that sounds interesting, how much does it pay?
00:11:23,517 --> 00:11:25,686 $2,000. - I'm in!
00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:28,188 Here, call me at this number with the details, gotta run.
00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:30,232 Dude, you didn't tell him Terrance would be there.
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,733 I didn't say he wouldn't be there, either.
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:33,235 Look, all we have to do is get them there, right?
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,778 Once Terrance and Phillip get together again,
00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:36,113 it'll be like old times.
00:11:36,238 --> 00:11:37,989 Oh, Kyle, you just made a huge withdrawal
00:11:38,115 --> 00:11:40,117 at the "First Bank of Lies."
00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:41,493 It'll--it'll be okay.
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:46,707 Work faster.
00:11:46,832 --> 00:11:51,086 Faster, children, Earth Day is coming.
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,462 Well, boys, it's rehearsal time
00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:54,589 and your Terrance and Phillip haven't shown up.
00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:55,841 They said they'd come.
00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:57,092 I'm sure they'll be here any minute.
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:58,885 Maybe you kids don't understand
00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:01,596 how important Earth Day is for the future of our planet.
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:02,889 Maybe you need some convincing.
00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:03,890 Karl.
00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:04,891 Ahh!
00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:06,643 Oh, my God!
00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:07,769 Excuse me, is this where the Earth Day crap is happening?
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,312 He's here.
00:12:09,438 --> 00:12:11,273 Oh, very good. Mr. Phillip, I'm Jack Forest,
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:12,858 head of the Earth Day committee.
00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:14,818 Thank you for being a part of this important event.
00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:16,069 Whatever, where's my check?
00:12:16,194 --> 00:12:17,821 Alright, I'm here, where do I--
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:19,364 what's he doing here?
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:20,949 Alright, let's do a rehearsal
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,200 so that the camera crew can get a look at it.
00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:26,413 Wow, isn't this great,
00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:27,998 You guys seeing each other again?
00:12:28,123 --> 00:12:29,624 Yeah, you must have a lot of catching up to do
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:31,042 but let's rehearse first.
00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:32,544 So, this is your doing, huh, Terrance?
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,045 My doing?
00:12:34,171 --> 00:12:35,922 These kids called me and said it was your idea
00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:37,424 and that you wanted to apologize.
00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:38,967 Please, you guys, this is for Earth Day.
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:41,636 You care about Mother Earth, don't you?
00:12:41,762 --> 00:12:42,971 Well, what the hell?
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,639 I already flew all the way out here.
00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:46,308 But I want my check made out to me, not both of us.
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,393 Ditto! - Fine.
00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:50,270 See, I told you it would work.
00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:52,272 Alright, we'll come off the speech of the dying whales
00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:54,149 and then, action.
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,193 Doctor, doctor, I've cracked my ass.
00:12:56,318 --> 00:12:57,277 Really? Let me take a look.
00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:58,361 Look closer.
00:12:58,487 --> 00:13:00,113 [farts]
00:13:00,238 --> 00:13:02,407 [laughing nervously]
00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:04,326 Yon fart doth smell of elderberry sweet--
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:06,077 That's not the line, asshole.
00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:07,537 You're right, it's a better one, asshole.
00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:09,039 Just do the bit right, dick face!
00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:10,207 Why don't you go eat some more pudding,
00:13:10,332 --> 00:13:11,833 you fatass drug addict!
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,752 I may be fat, but at least I didn't get hair plugs.
00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:15,295 That's it!
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:16,963 I ain't doin' nothin' with "Kooko the Whale"!
00:13:17,088 --> 00:13:19,424 I never needed you in the first place, you hack!
00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:21,802 You can't leave, the show starts soon.
00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:25,472 Boys, you've got three hours to get those two back together.
00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:27,265 Do I need to remind you what will happen if you don't?
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:28,433 Karl!
00:13:28,558 --> 00:13:29,726 Owww!
00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:31,686 You bastards. - Good luck, boys.
00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:33,980 We've got to get them back together, you guys.
00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:35,232 They could do this to us!
00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:42,364 Tom, I'm standing in South Park, Colorado,
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:45,075 where Earth Day 2001 is in full force.
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:46,952 Environmental awareness games, booths
00:13:47,077 --> 00:13:48,954 and of course, the entertainment on stage
00:13:49,079 --> 00:13:51,081 which is being broadcast live all over the country.
00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:54,417 This eco-happy crowd is thrilled and waiting in anticipation
00:13:54,543 --> 00:13:56,628 for the arrival of Terrance and Phillip,
00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:59,256 who were promised by these four boys.
00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:01,341 What a touching and true song.
00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:04,845 You know it's true, Republicans are ruining the earth.
00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:07,264 Crowd: Republicans are ruining the earth.
00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:08,974 Alright.
00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:10,809 Well, I think I know why most you tuned in today.
00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:12,853 How about some Earth Day entertainment?
00:14:12,978 --> 00:14:17,858 [cheers and applause]
00:14:17,983 --> 00:14:20,986 Hooray for the Earth, we must protect it.
00:14:21,111 --> 00:14:22,571 And now, as promised,
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:27,868 Here are Terrance and Phillip...on video.
00:14:27,993 --> 00:14:31,246 On video?
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:33,874 They were considered the best comedy act in all of Canada,
00:14:33,999 --> 00:14:35,750 but a fast-paced rocket ride to success
00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:38,169 would bring them to the depths of despair.
00:14:38,295 --> 00:14:41,339 This is <i>Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow.</i>
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:42,799 All: Wow.
00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:44,634 What the hell do you call this?
00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:46,344 It's <i>Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow.</i>
00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:47,888 I taped it last month.
00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:49,681 We promised people Terrance and Phillip,
00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:51,224 not a video documentary.
00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:53,727 You've ruined the Earth for the last time, boys!
00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:57,397 All: Aah!
00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:59,649 Terrance was born "Terrance Henry Stute"
00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:01,818 in the small Canadian village of Toronto.
00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:03,403 At a very early age,
00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:05,280 his parents noticed an uncanny musical ability
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:06,740 and decided to enroll him
00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:09,075 in the Canadian school for gifted babies.
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:12,078 It was here that he partnered up with Phillip Niles Argyle,
00:15:12,203 --> 00:15:14,539 a brash young baby from Montreal.
00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:16,750 Together, they performed musical acts
00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:18,418 that stunned Canadians everywhere.
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:20,045 At the tender age of six,
00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:22,380 Terrance and Phillip were off to the United States
00:15:22,505 --> 00:15:24,466 to perform on the <i>Ed Sullivan Show</i>
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:26,718 where American audiences would be exposed to Canadians
00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,762 for the first time.
00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:30,096 And now, ladies and gentlemen,
00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:32,641 we have two adorable little boys from Canada.
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:33,892 Please put your hands together
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:36,269 for the music of young Terrance and Phillip.
00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:37,854 [applause]
00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:39,147 ♪ Beef and lamb chicken and ham ♪
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:40,523 ♪ Step to the left and clap your hands ♪
00:15:40,649 --> 00:15:41,816 ♪ Gosh we love that chicken and ham ♪
00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:44,527 ♪ Don't you love that chicken and ham ♪
00:15:44,653 --> 00:15:46,112 Oh, my God, what's wrong with their heads?
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:48,031 It's alright, darling, they're just Canadian.
00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:49,324 Oh.
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:50,784 ♪ Beef and lamb chicken and ham ♪
00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:51,826 ♪ Step to the left and clap your hands ♪
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:53,119 ♪ Gosh we love that chicken and ham ♪
00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:54,704 ♪ Don't you love my chicken and ham ♪
00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:57,540 the Canadian act confused American audiences,
00:15:57,666 --> 00:15:59,250 but then something happened
00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:02,128 that would change Terrance and Phillip's act forever.
00:16:02,253 --> 00:16:04,756 [farts]
00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:06,883 [laughter and applause]
00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:12,263 [farts]
00:16:14,015 --> 00:16:16,017 It was the birth of Canadian comedy.
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:17,644 Terrance and Phillip
00:16:17,769 --> 00:16:19,437 spent the next several years perfecting their art
00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:23,274 and meeting some of America's most influential people.
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:24,818 Excuse me, which way is the bus station?
00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:26,194 Hey, you're the guy on the screen.
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,154 What?
00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:30,156 But it was in 1974 on the <i>Sonny and Cher Show</i>
00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:31,658 that Terrance and Phillip
00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:33,243 finally started to mix their Canadian humor
00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:35,662 with deep political insight.
00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:37,455 You know, Cher, a lot of us real Americans
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:38,999 don't know much about Canada.
00:16:39,124 --> 00:16:40,500 Well, all of us real Americans
00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:43,670 aren't as stupid and short as you.
00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:45,296 Please put your groovy hands together
00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:47,424 for the young and talented Terrance and Phillip.
00:16:47,549 --> 00:16:50,301 [cheers and applause]
00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:51,928 Say, Terrance, I'm getting worried aboot
00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:53,555 all these Russians making missiles.
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,181 Maybe we should stop this "Cold War."
00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:58,393 Here's a missile for ya. [farts]
00:16:58,518 --> 00:16:59,519 That's better.
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:03,815 [farting and cackling]
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,696 With this bold mix of humor and political insight,
00:17:09,821 --> 00:17:11,990 the world couldn't get enough of Terrance and Phillip,
00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:13,825 but their fame would come at a price
00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:16,327 when <i>Behind the Blow</i> continues.
00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:18,163 Okay, okay, I think we lost 'em.
00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:20,248 Jesus, man, those Earth people don't screw around.
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:22,083 Kyle, none of this would be happening
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:23,460 if you hadn't lied in the first place.
00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:25,545 You lied and then you lied to cover up your lies.
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,630 I didn't see you complaining at the time, fat boy!
00:17:27,756 --> 00:17:29,799 Guys, we have no choice, we're gonna have to move away.
00:17:29,924 --> 00:17:31,634 Environmental activists don't use logic or reason.
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:34,220 There they are!
00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:35,930 Ahh!
00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:37,891 [shouting]
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:42,270 As they entered their late teens,
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:43,772 Terrance and Phillip were already starting to taste
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,023 the sweet milk of success,
00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:46,733 but the price of fame was looming
00:17:46,858 --> 00:17:49,861 as <i>Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow</i> continues.
00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:51,279 The '70s and '80s were a good time
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:52,781 for young Terrance and Phillip.
00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:54,282 Their act on <i>The Donny and Marie Show</i>
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,076 won them a Nobel Peace Prize.
00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:57,911 They were on the cover of every magazine.
00:17:58,036 --> 00:17:59,704 And then in 1998,
00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:01,998 even a Saturday morning cartoon was made
00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:03,750 based on Terrance and Phillip.
00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:05,919 Terrance and Phillip themselves supplied the voices.
00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:07,378 Say, Terrance, what should we do
00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:09,172 aboot this strange planet we've crashed on?
00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:11,049 I don't know, Phillip.
00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:12,884 It seems like the alien species here breathe an inert gas.
00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:14,552 Uh-oh, did you say what I thought you said?
00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:16,679 [fart and laughing]
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:18,598 As leader of the Goat People,
00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:20,725 I have seen my species nearly wiped out
00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,310 by your dangerous gas.
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:23,937 Wow, that sucks.
00:18:24,062 --> 00:18:25,188 [farts]
00:18:25,313 --> 00:18:26,856 The cartoon was such a huge success
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,149 that it started to breed confusion
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:29,818 over whether Terrance and Phillip
00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:32,153 were animated characters or real people.
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,572 And so in 1998, the comedy team started work
00:18:34,697 --> 00:18:36,825 on what they thought would be their greatest achievement,
00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:38,368 a made-for-TV movie
00:18:38,493 --> 00:18:40,203 written by and starting Terrance and Phillip
00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:42,580 called <i>Not Without My Anus.</i>
00:18:42,705 --> 00:18:44,290 It was their biggest project to date,
00:18:44,415 --> 00:18:46,376 but it had the misfortune of being scheduled on a night
00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:48,837 when a different and more popular television show,
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:51,965 <i>the John Schneider Variety Hour</i> was supposed to air.
00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:53,633 When fans tuned in to see John Schneider
00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:56,511 and instead were treated to the Canadian made-for-TV movie,
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:59,222 they were enraged, bewildered, and scared.
00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:01,516 The fans revolted and burned down the network,
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:04,811 killing six television producers and wounding 12 others.
00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:07,188 The hatred of Terrance and Phillip had begun.
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,065 Terrance fell into a deep depression
00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:10,900 and started abusing wood polish.
00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:12,652 Phillip beat up an angry six-year-old fan
00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:14,320 and was sued for $6 million.
00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:16,865 It was the first time the duo tasted failure
00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:18,741 and it nearly killed them both.
00:19:18,867 --> 00:19:21,035 What's going on here?
00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:24,747 Shh, we're watchin' <i>Behind the Blow.</i>
00:19:24,873 --> 00:19:27,584 Come on, Kenny, hurry up!
00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:30,128 After years of depression and suicide attempts,
00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:32,630 Terrance and Phillip finally decided to get together
00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:34,424 for one last film,
00:19:34,549 --> 00:19:37,969 the 1999 smash hit <i>Asses of Fire.</i>
00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:39,971 It was one of the highest grossing films of the summer.
00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:41,389 And though the film also started
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,391 the Canadian-American war of 1999
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,351 in which eight million people lost their lives,
00:19:45,476 --> 00:19:47,604 the film was considered a great success.
00:19:47,729 --> 00:19:49,939 After almost being executed by the American government,
00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:52,066 Terrance and Phillip were eventually returned to Canada
00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:53,943 where they were touted as heroes.
00:19:54,068 --> 00:19:55,778 They had been to hell and back,
00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:58,406 through the very best and the very worst of times together,
00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:00,909 but they had seen it through, and so ends
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:03,453 <i>Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow.</i>
00:20:03,578 --> 00:20:05,246 [cheering]
00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:07,457 Terrance.
00:20:07,582 --> 00:20:08,791 Oh, Phillip, you're still here too.
00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:10,335 I was just watching this video.
00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:13,046 You know, I've never seen it before.
00:20:13,171 --> 00:20:15,256 Me neither.
00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:17,425 We sure did go through a lot together.
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:20,136 We sure did.
00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:21,471 Terrance, I--
00:20:21,596 --> 00:20:23,014 Don't, no, Phillip, don't say it.
00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:24,474 I was an asshole, this is mostly my fault.
00:20:24,599 --> 00:20:26,100 That's what I was gonna say,
00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:29,229 You're an asshole and this was mostly your fault.
00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:31,856 But you were always the more artistically driven of us.
00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:33,524 I should've put more into it than I did.
00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:34,692 No, Phillip.
00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:36,069 I really thought I did everything,
00:20:36,194 --> 00:20:39,280 until I tried to do it alone.
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:42,450 [farts slowly]
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,410 [laughs]
00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:46,621 [laughs]
00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:52,585 Think of all the endangered species
00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:54,212 that will now vanish because of you.
00:20:54,337 --> 00:20:55,129 Karl!
00:20:57,006 --> 00:20:58,633 So long, boys.
00:20:58,758 --> 00:20:59,717 Wait, dude, look.
00:20:59,842 --> 00:21:02,387 [applause]
00:21:02,512 --> 00:21:04,180 Thank you, everyone, thank you.
00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:06,224 You know, Phillip and I have learned an important lesson,
00:21:06,349 --> 00:21:07,934 that when you go through a lot with somebody,
00:21:08,059 --> 00:21:09,769 you can't let trite things come between you.
00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:11,020 That's right, Terrance.
00:21:11,145 --> 00:21:12,063 You should only let trite things
00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:13,731 come between your ass cheeks.
00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:15,525 [farting and laughing] Oh, no!
00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:16,609 They're back.
00:21:16,734 --> 00:21:17,610 Alright!
00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:19,988 Yes, Earth Day is saved, boys.
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:21,531 Everything worked out after all.
00:21:21,656 --> 00:21:23,116 It sure did.
00:21:23,241 --> 00:21:24,742 Look, Kenny, everything turned out okay.
00:21:24,867 --> 00:21:26,411 [mumbles]
00:21:26,536 --> 00:21:27,787 Say, Terrance, can you tell me who farted?
00:21:27,912 --> 00:21:29,372 He sure did, Phillip.
00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:31,124 No, I'm asking you his name.
00:21:31,249 --> 00:21:33,418 And so Terrance and Phillip got back together,
00:21:33,543 --> 00:21:35,420 proving once and for all that fame and fortune
00:21:35,545 --> 00:21:37,380 are never as important as friendship.
00:21:37,505 --> 00:21:38,965 ♪ Beef and lamb chicken and ham ♪
00:21:39,090 --> 00:21:40,258 ♪ Step to the left and clap your hands ♪
00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:41,426 ♪ Gosh we love that chicken and ham ♪
00:21:41,551 --> 00:21:42,552 ♪ Don't they love that chicken and ham ♪
00:21:42,677 --> 00:21:46,681 [clapping]
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:48,224 ♪ Beef and lamb chicken and ham ♪
00:21:48,349 --> 00:21:49,267 ♪ Step to the left and clap your hands ♪
00:21:49,392 --> 00:21:50,601 ♪ Gosh we love that chicken and ham ♪
00:21:50,727 --> 00:21:51,811 ♪ Don't they love that chicken and ham ♪
00:21:51,936 --> 00:21:53,229 ♪ Beef and lamb chicken and ham ♪
00:21:53,354 --> 00:21:54,272 ♪ Step to the left and clap your hands ♪
00:21:54,397 --> 00:21:55,815 ♪ Gosh we love that chicken and ham ♪
00:21:55,940 --> 00:21:56,190 ♪ Don't they love that chicken and ham ♪
00:21:56,316 --> 00:21:57,275 [farting]

Скриншоты

Терренс и Филлип: обратная сторона успеха — скриншот 1

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