Очень дерьмовое Рождество

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♪ Gonna have

myself a time ♪

00:00:12,138 --> 00:00:13,597

♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

00:00:13,723 --> 00:00:15,391

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:16,475

♪ Going down

to South Park ♪

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♪ Gonna leave

my woes behind ♪

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♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:22,023

♪ People spouting

"howdy neighbor" ♪

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♪ Headed on up

to South Park ♪

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♪ Gonna see if

I can't unwind ♪

00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:30,281

♪ So come on down

to South Park ♪

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♪ And meet some

friends of mine ♪

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He's gonna be here

any minute, Ike.

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Oh, no.

Poopie.

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He might not come

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if you're too close

to the toilet bowl, Ike.

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Come sit by me.

00:01:02,313 --> 00:01:03,439

It's getting late, boys,

00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:04,815

why don't you

come on up to bed?

00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:06,567

Just let us stay up

a little longer, Mom,

00:01:06,692 --> 00:01:08,903

Mr. Hankey's got to show up.

He always does.

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Alright, bubbie.

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Oh, and, boys,

Happy Hanukkah.

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Happy Hanukkah, Mom.

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Whee, whee.

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Go away!

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Stan, go get

the other guys

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and tell them to meet me

at the bus stop in ten minutes.

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Okay, good,

you're all here.

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What's this

all about, Kyle?

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It's Mr. Hankey.

He hasn't shown up yet!

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Oh, Jesus Christ,

I'm going back to bed.

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It's only three days

until Christmas, you guys.

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You know how bad things

have been around here.

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I think it might be because

Mr. Hankey hasn't come.

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Kyle, I have a full day

of watching TV tomorrow.

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I don't have time to go

on a poo hunt right now, okay?

00:02:44,123 --> 00:02:45,499

If you guys want there

to be a Christmas,

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you better come help me.

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Dude, you sneezed

on my back!

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Oh, sorry, you might

get some germs

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while you're walking around

in human feces.

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Hey, look!

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Hello?

00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:05,603

Howww-dy ho!

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Mr. Hankey!

Oh, we were so worried.

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I was waiting up for you,

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and you didn't come

so I thought that--

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Oh, no,

I'm fine, Kyle.

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But where have you been?

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Things aren't the same

without you.

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Nobody seems to have

the Christmas spirit.

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Oh, I know, Kyle.

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I've just been awful busy

with my family.

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Honey!

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Family?

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Boys, I want you to meet

my wife, Autumn.

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Howdy hey, kids.

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Would you like

a drink?

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They're too young

to drink, honey.

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Oh, hell,

it's Christmas.

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Oh, and you have to meet

the little nuggets too.

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Kids!

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This is our son

Cornwallis.

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Howww-dy ho!

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Our daughter Amber.

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Howdy ho!

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And our son Simon.

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Hey!

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Simon's not so smart.

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He was born

with a peanut in his head.

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What's that, Pa?

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Nothin', Simon.

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A family!

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So that's why you haven't been

able to spread Christmas cheer.

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It sure has been tough.

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Nobody seems that into

Christmas up there.

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I know, it's like it

doesn't matter anymore.

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My mom's barely bought me

any presents so far.

00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,412

Well, don't worry kids.

00:04:05,537 --> 00:04:06,956

I'm sending the nuggets

up tomorrow

00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:08,666

to spread Christmas cheer.

00:04:08,791 --> 00:04:10,251

And if you want,

you can help them.

00:04:10,376 --> 00:04:12,211

Sure we'll help!

- Anything for more presents!

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Whoo-hoo!

It's a Christmas party!

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Hey, you boys.

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You boys want to bet me

I won't take off my clothes?

00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,844

Honey, please,

you're--you're drunk, okay.

00:04:20,970 --> 00:04:22,805

But it's Christmas, baby!

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Honey, can we go inside

for a second?

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Now, when people come over--

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Well, it's decided, kids,

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tomorrow we're gonna bring back

the spirit of Christmas!

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Ho, ho, ho!

00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:52,710

Merry Christmas, you guys.

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Only three

shopping days until--

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God damn it!

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Hey, Merry Christmas,

asshole!

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Nobody's paying

any attention.

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Look out!

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Ew, I almost

stepped in it!

00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:05,723

Well, it was

a good effort, boys,

00:05:05,848 --> 00:05:07,141

but I'm gonna have to

close shop.

00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:08,934

Nobody's buying anything,

and I can't afford

00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:11,103

to keep this

furnace runnin'.

00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:13,063

Oh, and, boys, there's

some crap on the sidewalk there.

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Watch out.

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Not one toy.

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I guess this year everyone's

content to celebrate

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with candles and love.

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This is hopeless.

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We're just gonna have to face

that the commercialism

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has been sucked

out of Christmas.

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And in other news tonight,

it appears that everyone

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is officially

sick of Christmas.

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In an S.P.C. Poll,

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38% said they were fed up

and tired of the holiday.

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5% said they were

indifferent to it.

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And a whopping 57%

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said they would kick Bon Jovi

square in the balls

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if given the opportunity.

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Well, I think people

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are just fed up with

the crowded shopping

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and the

credit card bills.

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I think that the holiday

just has become a joke.

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You know,

it's just that a lot of people

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don't really believe in

the whole "Jesus" thing anymore.

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You know?

So what's to celebrate?

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Oh, yeah,

right in the balls, man,

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right square

in the balls.

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Well, the holiday spirit

may be gone from South Park,

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but at least our faith

in each other remains strong.

00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:07,993

Oh, really?

00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:09,995

Dude, change the channel.

This is too depressing.

00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:13,290

Good grief, we need

a Christmas tree for our play.

00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:15,125

Oh, Jesus,

not this thing again.

00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:17,336

How come everyone in cartoons

has such big heads?

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Alright, everyone, we've got

to get on with our play.

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Jesus, this sucks!

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All they keep doing

is dancing around.

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Yeah, this thing really

falls apart in the second act.

00:06:25,761 --> 00:06:27,721

And why is it--that on

"Charlie Brown" cartoons--

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everyone talks--

like this?

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My mom could make a better

Christmas special than this.

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Hey, that's it!

00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:33,727

Oh, my God.

That's totally it!

00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:35,437

It's so simple.

- What, dude?

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We can get everyone back

into the Christmas spirit

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by making our very own

animated Christmas special

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and showing it

to everybody in town.

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We don't know anything

about animation.

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How hard can it be?

Look at it?

00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:46,615

Hey, yeah!

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We can make a little animated

Santa Claus and Jesus.

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And it can star us instead of

these little round-headed guys.

00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:52,579

Hell yeah, awesome!

00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:56,041

Yeah, and we can call it...

"The Spirit of Christmas."

00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:02,798

Oh, this is

terrible, Johnson.

00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,801

Our whole town's economy

is going right in the toilet.

00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,178

We've got to get everybody

back in the Christmas spirit.

00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:10,264

Mayor, some adorable children

are here to see you.

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Send them in.

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Mayor, we have

the solution to your problem.

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You do?

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We're gonna make

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a short animated Christmas card

that everyone can watch

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and play it on the screen

at the old drive-in.

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It'll have everything--

Jesus, Santa.

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And when people see it,

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they'll just have to

get in the spirit.

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All we need is

$300 for our budget.

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An animated

Christmas card!

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Kids, that just might be

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the dumbest idea

I've ever heard, ever!

00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:32,661

Aw.

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But at this point

I'm willing to try anything.

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Johnson, cut 'em

a check for $300.

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Alright!

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You guys go tell Butters

to start making the cutouts.

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I'm gonna go tell Mr. Hankey

the good news.

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You put the vase down!

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Put that vase down!

That's an expensive vase!

00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:47,926

Don't you

throw that vase!

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Uh, Mr. Hankey!

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Oh, Kyle,

howww-dy ho!

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We got the money,

Mr. Hankey,

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we're gonna make our

animated Christmas card.

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Oh, that's swell!

Kids, Christmas is back on!

00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,817

We got to all go get that

old drive-in working again.

00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:05,819

Okay!

00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:07,613

That's not the only thing

we got to get working again,

00:08:07,738 --> 00:08:08,906

if you know what I mean.

00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:10,324

Why--why do you--

why do you have to

00:08:10,449 --> 00:08:12,451

say things like that

in front of people?

00:08:12,576 --> 00:08:14,036

Well, I got to go

start our animation.

00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,078

We've only got two days!

00:08:15,204 --> 00:08:16,413

Good luck, Kyle,

00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:17,873

and we'll have

that projector working.

00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,625

Don't you worry!

00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:22,127

What's the matter, Cornwallis?

00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:25,839

Alright, Butters,

let's see what you've got.

00:08:25,964 --> 00:08:27,591

Oh, well, okay.

00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:29,593

Now, don't expect too much

with the budget you gave me.

00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:30,761

Yeah, yeah, yeah,

just let us see 'em.

00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:32,429

Well, alright.

00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:33,931

Here's a little

construction paper Santa Claus.

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"Ho, ho, ho there, kids.

00:08:35,474 --> 00:08:37,434

Would you like some

toys and stuff?"

00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,686

Ah, and, uh,

here's a little Jesus.

00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:42,314

"Hey there, Santa, I'm the light

and the way and stuff."

00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:45,108

"Oh, okay, that's good,

I suppose."

00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:48,111

And here's the cutout versions

of you guys.

00:08:48,237 --> 00:08:49,446

Whoa.

00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:50,948

Look, he made Stan all fat.

00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:52,199

That's not me. That's you!

- What?

00:08:52,324 --> 00:08:54,076

They kind of

look like us.

00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,161

I mean, Stan's got blue eyes,

and I've got a sharper nose,

00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:57,704

but I mean,

they kind of look like us.

00:08:57,829 --> 00:08:59,748

I am not that Goddamn fat!

- Good job, Butters.

00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,417

Oh, uh, hey, I made a little

cutout version of me too,

00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:04,253

in case you need it

for your animated film.

00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:06,171

No, that's okay.

- See ya!

00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:08,757

Oh, alright,

alright then.

00:09:11,510 --> 00:09:13,762

"Oh, hey there, good-looking,

what's your name?"

00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,430

"Ah, Butters, ma'am."

00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:17,891

"Oh, Butters, would you like

to slap my titties around?"

00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:19,851

"Whoa, well, ah...

00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:22,521

no, thanks, ma'am,

I'll get in trouble again."

00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:29,069

Cornwallis, we've got to go

fix up the drive-in.

00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:30,946

I don't want to, Dad.

I'm too sad.

00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,990

Hey, it's alright,

Cornwallis.

00:09:33,115 --> 00:09:34,324

Those boys' animated movie

00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:36,410

will bring back

the spirit of Christmas.

00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:37,953

It's not that, father,

it's--

00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:40,330

I don't feel like I'm

really a part of Christmas.

00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:43,417

But, son, you're a Hankey.

We love Christmas.

00:09:43,542 --> 00:09:46,253

Come on, it's time

to sit around the tree!

00:09:46,378 --> 00:09:47,588

We're having a talk,

honey.

00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:49,506

God damn it,

it's Christmas,

00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:51,717

and we're gonna be a happy

family around the tree.

00:09:51,842 --> 00:09:53,218

Autumn, you're drunk,

alright?

00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:54,386

Now, just go help

the other kids.

00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:56,305

They can't get

their stockings up.

00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:59,349

That's not the only thing

that can't get up around here.

00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,727

Now, come on, son.

Don't be so down.

00:10:01,852 --> 00:10:03,312

Why?

We're just pieces of crap.

00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:04,563

Christmas isn't for us.

00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:06,481

Christmas is

about feeling good.

00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:08,025

That's for everybody!

00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:09,610

I see the nativity--

00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:11,486

there's angels, shepherds,

and sheep, but no poo.

00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:13,530

All the Christmas movies--

Santa, elves, reindeer--

00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:15,449

no poo.

I'm not a part of it.

00:10:15,574 --> 00:10:17,451

No, you're not

a part of it, Cornwallis.

00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:19,620

You're all of it.

Don't you see?

00:10:19,745 --> 00:10:20,829

I'm nothing but crap.

00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,664

But crap is everything.

00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:26,418

♪ Everything that lives on earth

poos in some way ♪

00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:28,253

♪ And that's how

the cycle happens ♪

00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:30,422

♪ Each and every day ♪

00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:32,257

♪ Just look at

the green, green grass ♪

00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:34,843

♪ And the birds

up in the sky ♪

00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:39,348

♪ It's all here because of poo

and now I'll tell you why ♪

00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:41,516

♪ Grass is eaten

by the cattle ♪

00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:43,727

♪ Which is eaten

by women and men ♪

00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:47,648

♪ It fuses with their bodies

and becomes poo again ♪

00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:49,524

♪ And that poo goes

through the sewer ♪

00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,652

♪ Where it's dumped

into the sea ♪

00:10:51,777 --> 00:10:53,737

♪ And it's eaten

by the plankton ♪

00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:56,907

♪ That becomes

the fishes' meal ♪

00:10:57,032 --> 00:11:01,161

♪ And then that bigger fish

with the poo still inside ♪

00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:05,040

♪ Swims up near the shore

and gets eaten alive ♪

00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:09,169

♪ By a grizzly bear that poos

on a dead piece of sand ♪

00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:14,925

♪ So it can spring to life

and become food for the land ♪

00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:17,094

♪ It's the poo

of the antelope ♪

00:11:17,219 --> 00:11:19,262

♪ The poo of the giraffe ♪

00:11:19,388 --> 00:11:21,473

♪ That falls

onto the earth ♪

00:11:21,598 --> 00:11:23,392

♪ And becomes

the blades of grass ♪

00:11:23,517 --> 00:11:25,394

♪ The grass is eaten

by the cattle ♪

00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:27,562

♪ Which comes out

the other end ♪

00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:33,068

♪ To make poo for the humans

and start all over again ♪

00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,778

You see, son,

00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:36,196

you're not an insignificant

part of life.

00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:37,989

You are life.

00:11:38,115 --> 00:11:39,366

But how can I be

that giraffe

00:11:39,491 --> 00:11:41,118

and blade of grass

and a human?

00:11:41,243 --> 00:11:42,911

I don't control

what they do.

00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,414

Just like your heart beats

without you thinking about it,

00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:48,458

so, too, your giraffes

and your humans do what they do

00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:50,669

without you even

thinking about it.

00:11:50,794 --> 00:11:54,548

But it is all one life form,

it is all...you.

00:11:54,673 --> 00:11:56,883

I think I see now.

00:11:57,008 --> 00:11:59,344

♪ I'm the poo of the antelope ♪

00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:01,388

♪ That flows

onto the ground ♪

00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:02,597

♪ Becomes the grass

of tomorrow ♪

00:12:02,723 --> 00:12:03,849

♪ Yeah ♪

00:12:03,974 --> 00:12:05,600

♪ Which the grazers

turn around ♪

00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:09,354

♪ So I'm the leg of a leopard

and the wings of the hen ♪

00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,398

♪ Which becomes

dinner for the humans ♪

00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:14,234

♪ And turns back

to poo again ♪

00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:15,652

♪ Mm-hmm ♪

00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:17,654

♪ That's the cycle ♪

00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:20,824

♪ The cycle of poo ♪

00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,287

Okay, here's the script.

00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:27,122

But it doesn't have an ending.

- No ending?

00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,623

Well, we can't animate until

we have our voices recorded,

00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:29,875

so we better just record

what we have

00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,126

and figure out the ending later.

00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,836

Okay, talk directly

into the mic.

00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:34,296

And don't hit any hard "p's".

- What's a hard "p"?

00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:35,630

You know, first thing

in the morning

00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:36,757

when it just

won't come out?

00:12:36,882 --> 00:12:38,300

Oh, yeah.

00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:40,010

Um, okay,

sound is speeding and...

00:12:40,135 --> 00:12:41,928

♪ We wish you

a Merry Christmas ♪

00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:44,264

Hold on.

00:12:46,308 --> 00:12:49,478

Ah, hmm, okay, and...

00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:51,313

♪ We wish you

a Merry Christmas ♪

00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:52,773

♪ We wish

you a Merry Christmas ♪

00:12:52,898 --> 00:12:54,566

Hey, wait a minute!

- What?

00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:55,817

Aren't you Jewish, Kyle?

00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,402

Well, yes, I think so.

00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:59,613

Dude, Jewish people

don't celebrate Christmas.

00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:01,490

You're supposed to sing

Hanukkah songs.

00:13:03,241 --> 00:13:05,410

♪ Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel,

I made you out of clay ♪

00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:06,620

♪ Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel ♪

00:13:06,745 --> 00:13:08,121

Hanukkah sucks.

00:13:08,246 --> 00:13:09,581

Don't you

oppress me, fat boy!

00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,291

Don't call me fat,

butt fucker!

00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:13,960

Then don't belittle my people,

you fucking fat-ass!

00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:15,504

Guys, knock it off,

we have to record this.

00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:17,339

Dude, that was awesome.

00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,090

What's awesome?

- The script, it's sweet.

00:13:19,216 --> 00:13:21,134

That's not in the script.

They do this all the time.

00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:22,928

Well, it should be

in the script.

00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:24,554

All that, "you're fat"

and "you're a Jew" and stuff.

00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:25,388

It's great.

00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:30,727

Check it out, dude.

00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:31,937

The camera shoots

one frame at a time.

00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:33,939

So all we got to do

is put the right mouth on,

00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:35,232

according to what syllable

00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:36,399

they're pronouncing

at that frame.

00:13:36,525 --> 00:13:37,734

Easy.

- Yeah.

00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:39,069

So what's the first syllable?

00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:41,112

Ah, "w", we wish you

a Merry Christmas.

00:13:41,238 --> 00:13:43,490

Okay, so we put little "woo"

mouths on all our heads.

00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:44,991

And then we shoot that

for one frame.

00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:46,535

Okay.

00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:48,245

One.

00:13:48,370 --> 00:13:50,247

That's 1/24th of a second

of our movie already shot.

00:13:50,372 --> 00:13:51,706

Kick-ass!

- Now the next mouth.

00:13:51,832 --> 00:13:53,834

Ah, "e", we wish you

a Merry Christmas.

00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:55,168

Okay.

Where are the "e" mouths?

00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:55,919

"e" mouths...

00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:59,881

Okay,

"woo" mouths again.

00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:01,633

One, two.

00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:02,968

So how much done

is that?

00:14:03,093 --> 00:14:06,096

"We wish you a Merry."

- Ah, Jesus Christ.

00:14:06,221 --> 00:14:08,765

These kids better make a good

Christmas movie, Johnson.

00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,809

If people in this town

don't start shopping again,

00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:12,769

we're all gonna be

out of jobs next year!

00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:14,938

This place

is pretty rundown.

00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:16,857

It's alright.

We've got a cleanup crew coming.

00:14:16,982 --> 00:14:19,025

Howww-dy ho!

00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:20,610

Down here!

00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:22,988

Ahh!

- Oh, Mr. Hankey, it's you.

00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:24,364

How wonderful.

00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:25,782

My family and I are here

00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:28,285

to get the drive-in ready

for the big movie!

00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:29,870

Perfect.

00:14:29,995 --> 00:14:32,789

Hi there,

Mr. Important Political Person.

00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:35,000

You want to bet me

I won't take off my clothes

00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:37,085

and run naked through

this parking lot?

00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:38,795

Honey, please don't start.

00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,171

I didn't start it!

00:14:40,297 --> 00:14:41,715

He was looking

at my breasts.

00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,133

They're not real,

you know.

00:14:43,258 --> 00:14:45,218

Don't you say that!

- Oh, big secret.

00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:47,095

Everyone can tell

they're made of "silicorn."

00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,931

Ah, we'll just leave you

to your cleanup.

00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,641

Okay!

00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:54,436

Boy, oh, boy, this place

sure needs a lot of work.

00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:55,562

We can fix it up, dad.

00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:57,856

Oh, look,

a homeless person.

00:14:57,981 --> 00:15:00,942

Oh, he looks sad, Papa.

00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:03,945

There, that's better.

00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:05,405

Good job, Amber.

00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:07,782

Now this place is starting

to look Christmassy.

00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:14,456

Okay, okay,

this shot is finally set up.

00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,166

Now shoot the "oh" mouth

for two frames.

00:15:16,291 --> 00:15:17,542

Ah-choo!

00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:18,877

Agh!

- Cartman!

00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:20,795

Well, I'm sorry,

I have a cold.

00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:23,048

That took us half an hour

to set up, fat-ass!

00:15:23,173 --> 00:15:25,926

Alright, you know what?

I have been here too long!

00:15:26,051 --> 00:15:27,469

I'm sick of making

this stupid cartoon,

00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,137

and we're never gonna

finish it anyways!

00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:32,098

Screw you, guys...

I'm going home.

00:15:32,223 --> 00:15:33,391

Fine, we'll do it

without you.

00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:34,809

We can't do it

without him, Kyle,

00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:35,977

we've already

animated him in it.

00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:36,978

We'll dub his voice over.

00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:38,480

Kyle, it's hopeless.

00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,273

We've only got 20 seconds

of animation done.

00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:42,025

We still have Jesus'

and Santa's voices to record.

00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:43,610

And we don't even have

a third act.

00:15:43,735 --> 00:15:45,445

Dude, it would take a miracle

to finish this thing.

00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:47,614

Now, don't go saying that.

There's always hope.

00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:49,449

Miracles happen

most every day...

00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:51,451

♪ To people

like you and me ♪

00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:53,787

♪ But don't expect

a miracle ♪

00:15:53,912 --> 00:15:57,958

♪ Unless you help

make it to be ♪

00:15:58,083 --> 00:15:59,709

♪ You hope

and I'll hurry ♪

00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:01,711

♪ You pray and I'll plan ♪

00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,630

♪ We'll do

what's necessary ♪

00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:06,883

♪ 'Cause even a miracle

needs a hand ♪

00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:08,385

♪ You love ♪

♪ We love ♪

00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:09,761

♪ And I'll labor ♪

♪ Tra, la, la ♪

00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:10,512

♪ You sit ♪

♪ We sit ♪

00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,138

♪ And I'll stand ♪

00:16:12,263 --> 00:16:13,515

♪ Get help

from our next-door neighbor ♪

00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:17,477

♪ 'cause even a miracle

needs a hand ♪

00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:18,937

You can do Cartman's

voice, can't you?

00:16:19,062 --> 00:16:20,271

Uh, I'm so fat.

00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:21,690

No, you got to sound fatter.

00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:23,274

Hey, you guys, seriously.

00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:24,985

I'm so fat,

help me out over here.

00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:26,236

Cool,

now let's try the script.

00:16:26,361 --> 00:16:28,071

Rolling.

00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:29,823

I don't know what to do, dude,

who should we help?

00:16:29,948 --> 00:16:31,449

I say we help Santa Claus.

00:16:31,574 --> 00:16:33,785

Oh, you're just saying that

because he brings you candy.

00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:37,789

Hey, I don't need to take that

kind of shit from a Jew!

00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:39,165

♪ You wish ♪

♪ We wish ♪

00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:40,625

♪ And I'll whittle ♪

♪ Tra, la, la ♪

00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:41,793

♪ You sit ♪

♪ We sit ♪

00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:43,044

♪ And I'll stand ♪

00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:44,254

♪ Let's all try to

help a little ♪

00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:45,046

♪ 'Cause even a miracle-- ♪

00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:50,010

It's okay, we'll just have

his character die in the film.

00:16:50,135 --> 00:16:55,724

♪ Even a miracle

needs a hand ♪

00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,354

Citizens of South Park,

00:17:01,479 --> 00:17:04,399

the Colorado Film Commission

is pleased to present to you

00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:08,361

a work by some of our

very own South Park children.

00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:09,779

Thank you, thank you.

- Cartman!

00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:10,905

What the hell

are you doing here?

00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:12,157

You quit.

00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:13,533

What are you

talking about "quit"?

00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:15,035

Puh--

I don't remember that.

00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:16,953

We know that after you see

this darling short film,

00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:18,997

you will all feel

the mighty glow

00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:21,124

of the Christmas spirit

once again.

00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:22,125

Boys?

00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:23,209

Okay, Mr. Hankey.

00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:25,420

Okay!

00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:30,383

♪ We wish you

a Merry Christmas ♪

00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:32,469

♪ We wish you a Merry

Christmas ♪

00:17:32,594 --> 00:17:34,304

♪ We wish you

a Merry Christmas ♪

00:17:34,429 --> 00:17:36,181

Hey, wait a minute.

- What?

00:17:36,306 --> 00:17:38,266

Aren't you Jewish, Kyle?

- Yeah, I think so.

00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,018

Dude, Jewish people

don't celebrate Christmas.

00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:41,394

What?

00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:43,104

You're supposed

to sing Hanukkah songs.

00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:44,814

♪ Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel ♪

00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:57,327

Ooh, pretty!

00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:59,037

Well, that's Christmas

for ya.

00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:00,622

Uh, just hang on, folks,

00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:03,416

we seem to be having some

technical difficulties.

00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:05,585

Stupid.

00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:07,837

It's completely destroyed.

There's nothing I can do!

00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:09,464

All that hard work.

00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,466

Well, thanks a lot, kids,

great idea you had there.

00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:12,884

Now everyone is more

disenfranchised

00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:13,968

with Christmas than ever.

00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:15,428

We want our

300 bucks back.

00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:16,763

But we spent it.

00:18:16,888 --> 00:18:17,597

Fine,

then we'll sue you.

00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:20,183

Johnson.

00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:24,104

I...Used to

believe in miracles.

00:18:24,229 --> 00:18:26,481

All that work.

For nothing.

00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:28,566

Boys, I-I'm...

I'm sorry.

00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:30,527

Sure, sure,

Mr. Hankey.

00:18:30,652 --> 00:18:32,487

I guess we might as well

go home now.

00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:41,121

It's my fault,

all my fault.

00:18:41,246 --> 00:18:42,747

I got everyone's

hopes up.

00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:44,707

But, Dad,

we can fix the projector.

00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:46,167

Oh, it's too late

for that, son.

00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:47,877

Everyone's gone home.

00:18:48,002 --> 00:18:49,587

And I don't know nothin'

about projectors.

00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:52,423

I'm just a stupid

piece of crap.

00:18:52,549 --> 00:18:54,342

Dad, you taught me

an important lesson,

00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:55,885

that crap is the cycle

of everything.

00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:58,805

Oh, that was

just a stupid song, Cornwallis!

00:18:58,930 --> 00:19:00,515

I was just trying to get you

to stop your bitching.

00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:01,975

No, it wasn't

a stupid song,

00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,643

because you showed me

that I have the power

00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,478

and the strength

to do anything I want.

00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:07,564

You made me

believe in myself, Dad.

00:19:07,689 --> 00:19:09,816

Now I'm asking you

to do the same.

00:19:09,941 --> 00:19:12,902

Son...

00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:15,363

You're the smartest piece

of crap since Albert Poo-dinger!

00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:17,157

Come on!

00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:20,952

Isn't this a nice

Christmas, Stanley?

00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:22,537

No commercialism and shopping.

00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:24,831

Just a nice fire and family.

00:19:24,956 --> 00:19:26,583

I want to die!

00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:45,643

They did it!

00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:46,978

They got it working!

00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:48,813

You have blemished

the meaning of Christmas

00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:50,273

for the last time, Kringle.

00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:52,317

I bring happiness and love

00:19:52,442 --> 00:19:54,402

to children

all over the world.

00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,321

Christmas is

for celebrating my birth.

00:19:56,446 --> 00:19:58,448

Christmas is for giving.

00:19:58,573 --> 00:20:00,700

Oh...wow.

00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:02,452

Mom, they got it

working!

00:20:02,577 --> 00:20:05,455

What, son, they got your

father's penis working again?

00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:09,876

We actually spoke

to the Brian Boitano.

00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:11,461

Yeah, and you know,

00:20:11,586 --> 00:20:13,213

I think I learned

something today.

00:20:13,338 --> 00:20:15,006

It doesn't matter

if you're Christian

00:20:15,131 --> 00:20:17,175

or Jewish

or Atheist or Hindu--

00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:19,636

Christmas still is about

one very important thing.

00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:21,512

Yeah, ham.

- No, not ham!

00:20:23,097 --> 00:20:24,724

Hey, why the hell did you

have me say that?

00:20:24,849 --> 00:20:26,351

We can make you say

whatever we wanted.

00:20:26,476 --> 00:20:28,186

Christmas is about something

much more important.

00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:29,687

What?

- Presents.

00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:31,314

Ah.

- Don't you see, Kyle?

00:20:31,439 --> 00:20:33,524

Yeah.

- Presents.

00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:36,319

Presents...

Presents!

00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:37,987

My God, they're right!

00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:39,781

Christmas is about presents.

00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:43,618

If we all buy presents,

everyone benefits, mkay.

00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:45,453

That is the spirit

of Christmas:

00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:46,829

commercialism.

00:20:46,955 --> 00:20:49,082

Because it's what makes

our country work.

00:20:49,207 --> 00:20:51,167

They're starting

to understand, Johnson.

00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:52,877

They're starting to

understand.

00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:55,380

We got so caught up in

the little things of Christmas,

00:20:55,505 --> 00:20:57,674

like love and family,

that we almost forgot

00:20:57,799 --> 00:21:00,301

it's buying things

that makes our economy thrive.

00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,345

Hey, the shops

are still open.

00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:04,555

We still have time to shop!

00:21:04,681 --> 00:21:05,723

Cool, let's go!

00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:07,100

Yeah, let's go!

00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:14,691

Whoo!

00:21:14,816 --> 00:21:15,858

You did it, Mr. Hankey,

00:21:15,984 --> 00:21:17,277

you brought back

the spirit of Christmas.

00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:19,112

No, you did it, boys.

00:21:19,237 --> 00:21:20,989

Ah, hell,

we all did it.

00:21:21,114 --> 00:21:22,657

Kids, that cartoon

was fabulous.

00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,200

How would you like to

have your own show

00:21:24,325 --> 00:21:25,118

and make 100 more of them?

00:21:25,243 --> 00:21:26,703

Are you kidding?

00:21:26,828 --> 00:21:28,329

I think we'd rather

stab ourselves in the head.

00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:30,206

Yeah, let's just go home

and open our presents.

00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:32,709

Hey, man, if you're Jewish,

you get presents for eight days.

00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:34,335

Wow, count me in!

- Yeah, I'll be a Jew too.

00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:35,586

♪ Dreidel,

dreidel, dreidel ♪

00:21:35,712 --> 00:21:37,297

♪ I made you out of clay ♪

00:21:37,422 --> 00:21:39,882

♪ Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel,

with dreidel I will play ♪

00:21:40,008 --> 00:21:43,720

♪ I'm the poo of the antelope

that flows onto the ground ♪

00:21:43,845 --> 00:21:45,722

♪ Becomes the grass

of tomorrow ♪

00:21:45,847 --> 00:21:47,932

♪ Which the grazers

turn around ♪

00:21:48,057 --> 00:21:50,059

♪ So I'm the leg

of a leopard ♪

00:21:50,184 --> 00:21:51,894

♪ And the wings

of the hen ♪

00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:54,022

♪ Which becomes

dinner for the humans ♪

00:21:54,147 --> 00:21:56,566

♪ And turns back

to poo again ♪

00:00:07,310 --> 00:00:08,884

Перевод zvv.

Zavalsoft@mail.ru

00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:12,458

Я иду в Южный Парк

Что бы найти себя

00:00:12,868 --> 00:00:16,099

Везде дружественные лица

Скромные люди, нет искушений

00:00:16,305 --> 00:00:19,297

Пойти в Южный Парк

Расстаться со всеми проблемами

00:00:19,508 --> 00:00:22,739

Свободные парковки и днем и ночью

И люди кричат "Привет, сосед!"

00:00:22,945 --> 00:00:26,108

Приезжайте в Южный Парк

Вы не будете разочарованы

00:00:29,485 --> 00:00:32,045

Приезжайте в Южный Парк

повстречайте друзей себе на лад

00:00:48,104 --> 00:00:50,334

Он будет здесь с минуты на минуту.

00:00:52,541 --> 00:00:53,371

Какашки?

00:00:53,576 --> 00:00:57,603

Он не придет, если ты будешь слишком

близко к туалету, сиди рядом со мной.

00:01:02,885 --> 00:01:05,410

Уже поздно.

Почему бы вам не пойти в постель?

00:01:05,621 --> 00:01:09,079

Надо подождать подольше.

Мистер Хэнки всегда приходит.

00:01:10,059 --> 00:01:13,586

Хорошо.

Счастливой Хануки!

00:01:13,996 --> 00:01:15,759

Счастливой Хануки, мама!

00:01:52,468 --> 00:01:53,457

Проваливай!

00:02:22,531 --> 00:02:25,159

Стэн, скажи ребятам,

что встреча у автобусной остановки.

00:02:28,871 --> 00:02:31,601

- Хорошо, мы все здесь.

- Что ты хотел?

00:02:31,807 --> 00:02:35,265

- Мистер Хэнки не появился.

- О боже мой, я иду назад в постель.

00:02:35,477 --> 00:02:37,342

Осталось три дня до Рождества.

00:02:37,546 --> 00:02:40,640

А Мистер Хэнки так и не пришёл!

00:02:40,850 --> 00:02:44,581

Я завтра смотрю телевизор.

И у меня нет времени на поиски какашек.

00:02:44,787 --> 00:02:46,755

Если ты хочешь, чтобы

Рождество настало, помоги мне!

00:02:53,028 --> 00:02:54,359

Ты чихнул на меня.

00:02:54,563 --> 00:02:57,555

О Извини. Ты бегаешь по канализации

с микробами и человеческим говном.

00:02:57,766 --> 00:02:59,290

Смотри!

00:03:02,538 --> 00:03:03,470

Привет!

00:03:03,672 --> 00:03:06,163

При-ветики!

00:03:08,510 --> 00:03:12,105

Мистер Хэнки, мы были так напуганы.

Я ждал, но ты так и не пришел.

00:03:12,314 --> 00:03:15,215

- Нет, со мной все в порядке.

- Где ты был?

00:03:15,417 --> 00:03:17,715

Без тебя нет рождественского духа.

00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:22,254

Я знаю, но я был очень занят

со своей семьей. Милая!

00:03:22,691 --> 00:03:26,092

- Семьей?

- Я хочу познакомить вас

со своей женой Аутум.

00:03:26,295 --> 00:03:30,629

- Привет ребята. Хотите выпить?

- Они слишком молоды для выпивки, милая...

00:03:30,866 --> 00:03:35,200

- Это же Рождество!

- Сейчас вы познакомитесь

с нашим самородком!

00:03:35,704 --> 00:03:40,038

- Это наш сын, Корнуолис.

- При-ветики!

00:03:40,442 --> 00:03:42,808

- Наша дочь, Амбер.

- При-ветики!

00:03:43,012 --> 00:03:45,105

И наш сын, Симон.

00:03:46,415 --> 00:03:50,146

Симон туповат.

Он родился с арахисом голове.

00:03:50,352 --> 00:03:53,048

- Что такое, па?

- Ничего, Симон.

00:03:53,255 --> 00:03:56,224

Семья. Так вот почему ты

не распространял рождественский дух.

00:03:56,425 --> 00:04:00,361

Это правда.

Никто не занимался Рождеством.

00:04:00,562 --> 00:04:04,521

- Это уже не имеет значения.

- Моя мама не успеет купить мне подарков.

00:04:04,733 --> 00:04:08,965

Не волнуйтесь, я пошлю своих ребят

распространять рождественский дух.

00:04:09,171 --> 00:04:11,469

- Если хотите, можете помочь.

- Мы поможем.

00:04:11,674 --> 00:04:12,800

Все что угодно ради подарков!

00:04:13,509 --> 00:04:16,637

О! Рождественская вечеринка.

Эй, ребята...

00:04:16,845 --> 00:04:21,179

- ...хотите заключить пари

по поводу раздевания?

- Милая, ты напилась.

00:04:21,684 --> 00:04:25,415

- Это рождественская вечеринка!

- Мы можем зайти внутрь на секунду?

00:04:37,499 --> 00:04:38,659

Решено.

00:04:39,268 --> 00:04:42,635

Завтра мы вернем

дух Рождества!

00:04:50,245 --> 00:04:53,442

Хо-Хо-Хо. Счастливого Рождества.

00:04:53,949 --> 00:04:57,146

Осталось только три дня на покупки до...

Черт подери!

00:04:57,353 --> 00:05:00,413

- С Рождеством, задница!

- Никто не слушает.

00:05:00,689 --> 00:05:03,123

- Берегись!

- Ой, я всегда вляпываюсь!

00:05:04,626 --> 00:05:07,789

Ну что ж, это была неплохая попытка.

Но я должен закрываться.

00:05:07,997 --> 00:05:11,455

Никто ничего не покупает,

и я не могу продолжать.

00:05:11,667 --> 00:05:14,500

И еще, сбоку от дороги дерьмо.

Берегитесь.

00:05:16,372 --> 00:05:17,430

Ни одной игрушки.

00:05:17,639 --> 00:05:20,938

Похоже, что все подготовились

к празднованию...

00:05:21,143 --> 00:05:22,906

...со свечами и любовью.

00:05:24,179 --> 00:05:28,309

Рождество без коммерции,

без подарков - не Рождество!

00:05:28,517 --> 00:05:31,680

И остальные новости: появились

сообщения, что все официально...

00:05:31,887 --> 00:05:33,252

...забили на Рождество.

00:05:33,422 --> 00:05:37,381

В голосовании 38% заявили, что они

сыты по горло выходными...

00:05:37,593 --> 00:05:41,393

...5% заявили, что им всё равно,

и оставшиеся 57%...

00:05:41,597 --> 00:05:45,465

...сказали, что надавали бы

Бон Джови по яйцам, если бы смогли.

00:05:45,834 --> 00:05:49,793

Люди устали от встреч,

покупок и рекламы кредитных карт.

00:05:50,005 --> 00:05:52,269

Праздники потеряли

священность и стали шуткой.

00:05:52,474 --> 00:05:55,910

Многие люди не верят,

что Иисус существует.

00:05:56,111 --> 00:06:00,445

- Что за празднование?

- Да, правильно, прямо по яйцам его !

00:06:00,649 --> 00:06:02,708

Дух Рождества идет...

00:06:02,918 --> 00:06:05,978

...но наша вера во все остальное

остается сильной.

00:06:07,456 --> 00:06:08,354

Да, действительно?

00:06:08,557 --> 00:06:10,684

Переключи.

От этого можно впасть в депрессию.

00:06:10,893 --> 00:06:13,862

О горе!

Нам нужна рождественская елка.

00:06:14,063 --> 00:06:17,965

- О боже, только не это!

- Почему в мультиках всегда большие головы?

00:06:18,167 --> 00:06:21,295

Мы должны играть.

00:06:21,503 --> 00:06:25,837

- Дерьмо. Они так и будут танцевать вокруг?

- Они будут мучить нас еще и два акта.

00:06:26,075 --> 00:06:29,511

Почему в мультиках Чарли Брауна

они говорят как он?

00:06:29,711 --> 00:06:34,045

- Даже моя мама может гораздо лучше.

- Это точно.

00:06:34,550 --> 00:06:35,915

- Это просто.

- Что?

00:06:36,118 --> 00:06:40,555

Мы сможем заставить

праздновать Рождество,

создав анимационный фильм...

00:06:40,756 --> 00:06:44,021

- ...и показав его всем.

- Мы не знаем, как рисуются мультики.

00:06:44,226 --> 00:06:45,853

Разве это может быть сложно?

Посмотри на это!

00:06:46,061 --> 00:06:49,292

Мы можем сделать

маленького Санту и Иисуса...

00:06:49,498 --> 00:06:52,831

...и звезду взамен

этих большеголовых придурков!

00:06:53,035 --> 00:06:56,801

И мы можем назвать его

"Дух Рождества".

00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:05,564

Это ужасно. Наша городская экономика

идет прямо в унитаз!

00:07:05,771 --> 00:07:08,171

Мы должны вернуть всем

дух Рождества.

00:07:08,407 --> 00:07:11,843

- Несколько детей хотят видеть Вас.

- Ладно, впусти их.

00:07:12,210 --> 00:07:14,678

- Мэр, мы нашли решение Вашей проблемы!

- Вы... что?

00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:19,078

Мы создадим анимационный рождественский

фильм и покажем его на большом проекторе.

00:07:19,284 --> 00:07:22,344

В нём будут все: Иисус, Санта.

00:07:22,554 --> 00:07:24,181

Всё, что нам нужно - это $300.

00:07:24,389 --> 00:07:26,653

Анимационный рождественский фильм!

00:07:26,858 --> 00:07:31,022

Детишки, это самая тупая идея,

которую я слышала!

00:07:32,464 --> 00:07:35,729

Но я готова попробовать всё.

Выпишите им чек.

00:07:35,934 --> 00:07:38,732

- Отлично!

- Скажи Баттерсу, что надо сделать фигурки!

00:07:38,937 --> 00:07:40,768

А я передам мистеру Хэнки хорошие новости.

00:07:46,144 --> 00:07:48,510

Не разбивай вазу!

00:07:49,414 --> 00:07:50,745

Мистер Хэнки!

00:07:51,650 --> 00:07:54,414

О, Кайл! При-ветики!

00:07:54,619 --> 00:07:57,349

Мы раздобыли деньги!

Мы сделаем свой мультфильм!

00:07:57,556 --> 00:08:01,515

Прекрасно!

Дети, Рождество возвращается.

00:08:01,727 --> 00:08:05,458

Мы все снова отправимся

в старое доброе путешествие.

00:08:05,664 --> 00:08:09,031

Это произойдет не только из-за этого,

если вы понимаете, о чем я.

00:08:09,234 --> 00:08:12,362

Почему ты говоришь

об этом при людях?

00:08:12,571 --> 00:08:15,506

Ладно, мне надо начинать мультик.

У нас только два дня.

00:08:15,707 --> 00:08:19,268

Удачи. А мы займемся проектором,

не беспокойся!

00:08:20,012 --> 00:08:22,276

В чем дело, Корнуолис?

00:08:24,916 --> 00:08:29,250

- ОК, посмотрим что мы имеем.

- Ладно, только не надейтесь на многое.

00:08:29,454 --> 00:08:33,515

- Ладно-ладно, покажи нам.

- Это маленький бумажный Санта.

00:08:33,725 --> 00:08:37,217

"Хо-хо-хо, вы любите игрушки?"

00:08:38,663 --> 00:08:42,724

А это маленький Иисус.

"Привет, Санта! Я - это свет во тьме."

00:08:42,934 --> 00:08:47,268

"Хорошо, я так и подумал."

А это ваша мультипликационная версия.

00:08:49,341 --> 00:08:52,105

- Ха, он сделал Стена таким жирным.

- Это же ты.

00:08:52,310 --> 00:08:53,675

- Что?!

- Они похожи на нас.

00:08:53,879 --> 00:08:56,814

У Стена голубые глаза,

а у меня острый нос.

00:08:57,015 --> 00:08:59,813

- Я не такой жирный!

- Отличная работа, Баттерс.

00:09:00,619 --> 00:09:04,453

Я также сделал свою мультипликационную

версию, если вам вдруг понадобится.

00:09:05,157 --> 00:09:06,351

- Нет, спасибо.

- Увидимся.

00:09:06,558 --> 00:09:08,253

Хорошо, хорошо.

00:09:11,530 --> 00:09:15,364

- Как твое имя?

- Баттерс, мэм.

00:09:15,567 --> 00:09:18,331

Не хочешь потрогать мою грудь?

00:09:18,804 --> 00:09:23,070

Нет, спасибо. У меня снова будут проблемы.

00:09:26,344 --> 00:09:31,077

- Мы должны подготовиться к путешествию.

- Я не хочу, я слишком расстроен.

00:09:31,283 --> 00:09:36,220

Все в порядке. Мультфильм

вернет дух Рождества.

00:09:36,488 --> 00:09:40,288

Дело не в этом.

Я не чувствую себя частью Рождества.

00:09:40,492 --> 00:09:43,325

Сынок, ты же Хэнки!

Мы любим Рождество.

00:09:43,595 --> 00:09:47,656

- Время посидеть вокруг

рождественского дерева.

- У нас важный разговор.

00:09:47,866 --> 00:09:51,893

Сейчас Рождество, и...

и мы должны быть счастливой семьей.

00:09:52,104 --> 00:09:55,938

Дорогая, ты пьяна. Иди и помоги остальным

повесить их чулки для подарков.

00:09:56,141 --> 00:09:58,507

Это не конец,

мы еще продолжим.

00:09:59,744 --> 00:10:01,769

Давай, не будь так печален.

00:10:01,980 --> 00:10:04,676

Почему? Мы - дерьмо.

Рождество не для нас.

00:10:04,883 --> 00:10:09,013

- Рождество - это хорошее

настроение, оно для всех.

- Я видел спектакли про рождество.

00:10:09,221 --> 00:10:11,485

Там ангелы и пастухи,

но нет какашек.

00:10:11,690 --> 00:10:15,626

Во всех фильмах - Санта,

эльфы, но нет какашек.

Я не часть этого!

00:10:15,827 --> 00:10:19,729

Ты не часть этого,

ты - это всё!

00:10:19,931 --> 00:10:22,695

- Я - ничто, я - дерьмо.

- Дерьмо - это всё.

00:10:22,901 --> 00:10:26,462

Все, что живет на земле,

какает иногда

00:10:26,671 --> 00:10:30,471

И этот цикл проходит

каждый раз и всегда

00:10:30,675 --> 00:10:34,076

Взгляни на зеленую, зеленую траву

И птиц в небесах

00:10:34,946 --> 00:10:39,144

Они все здесь из-за какашек

И сейчас я расскажу почему

00:10:39,718 --> 00:10:43,814

Трава поедается коровами.

Которых едят люди

00:10:44,022 --> 00:10:47,924

Они перерабатываются их желудками

И появляются какашки

00:10:48,126 --> 00:10:51,653

Затем какашки проходят

через канализацию

И попадают в море

00:10:52,164 --> 00:10:56,498

И поедаются планктоном,

который становится едой для рыб

00:10:57,569 --> 00:11:00,936

Затем самая большая рыба,

с этими какашками внутри

00:11:01,439 --> 00:11:05,307

Проплывает мимо берега

И поедается

00:11:05,544 --> 00:11:09,275

Медведем гризли, который какает

На безжизненный песок

00:11:09,481 --> 00:11:13,815

И тем самым порождает жизнь,

которая снова создает еду

00:11:15,554 --> 00:11:18,990

Это - какашки антилопы

Какашки жирафа

00:11:19,691 --> 00:11:23,593

Они падают на землю

И становятся травой

00:11:23,795 --> 00:11:27,526

Трава поедается скотом

Который заканчивает цепь

00:11:27,832 --> 00:11:32,166

И создает еду для людей

И начинает все снова

00:11:33,538 --> 00:11:37,907

Ты не какая-то незначительная

часть жизни. Ты - сама жизнь!

00:11:38,343 --> 00:11:42,575

Как я могу быть частью жирафа, травы

и человека? Я не контролирую их.

00:11:42,948 --> 00:11:45,416

Твое сердце бьется,

и ты не думаешь об этом.

00:11:45,617 --> 00:11:49,951

Жирафы и люди делают

это, не задумываясь.

00:11:50,655 --> 00:11:54,113

Но все это - формы жизни.

Все это - ты.

00:11:54,859 --> 00:11:56,554

Кажется, я понял.

00:11:57,295 --> 00:12:01,391

Я - какашка антилопы,

Что падает на землю

00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:05,400

Которая станет травой завтра

И будет расти вокруг

00:12:05,870 --> 00:12:09,328

Так что я - и лапы леопарда,

и крылья курицы

00:12:09,541 --> 00:12:13,875

Которые станут обедом для людей

И снова создадут какашки

00:12:16,214 --> 00:12:20,548

Это - цикл

Цикл какашек

00:12:24,189 --> 00:12:26,521

Это сценарий, но он не закончен

00:12:26,758 --> 00:12:30,819

Мы не можем создавать

анимацию без записи голосов.

Дорисуем конец позже.

00:12:31,029 --> 00:12:33,224

Говорите в микрофон.

Но без тяжелых Пи.

00:12:33,431 --> 00:12:34,329

Что за тяжелые Пи?

00:12:34,532 --> 00:12:37,501

Ну, ты знаешь, утром,

когда они не хотят выходить.

00:12:38,503 --> 00:12:40,061

Запись началась.

00:12:40,305 --> 00:12:43,001

- Мы желаем вам счастливого Рождества...

- Подождите.

00:12:48,613 --> 00:12:52,879

- Окей и начали...

- Мы желаем вам счастливого Рождества

00:12:53,084 --> 00:12:54,642

- Подождите!

- Что?

00:12:54,853 --> 00:12:57,321

- Ты разве не еврей, Кайл?

- Ну да.

00:12:57,522 --> 00:12:59,615

Чувак, евреи не празднуют Рождество.

00:12:59,824 --> 00:13:02,258

Ты должен петь гимны Хануки.

00:13:03,328 --> 00:13:06,695

Дрейдел, дрейдел, дрейдел

Я сделал тебя из глины

00:13:06,898 --> 00:13:09,765

- Ханука - отстой.

- Не доставай меня, жирный!

00:13:09,968 --> 00:13:13,961

- Не называй меня жирным!

- Не унижай мой народ, толстожопый!

00:13:14,172 --> 00:13:16,106

Заканчивайте, мы должны заняться записью!

00:13:16,308 --> 00:13:17,969

- Это круто!

- Что?

00:13:18,176 --> 00:13:21,145

- Сценарий. Он великолепен!

- Этого нет в сценарии.

00:13:21,346 --> 00:13:25,214

Должно быть.

Эта фраза: "ты, толстожопый".

Великолепна!

00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,332

Камера снимает один кадр в секунду.

00:13:32,536 --> 00:13:36,836

Мы должны открывать рот так, чтобы

соответствовать произносимым буквам.

00:13:37,041 --> 00:13:38,906

- Легко!

- Какой первый слог?

00:13:39,476 --> 00:13:41,341

"М." Мы желаем вам счастливого Рождества.

00:13:41,545 --> 00:13:44,013

Положи картинку губ "м"

на наши головы.

00:13:44,215 --> 00:13:46,775

- Мы снимем его для первого кадра.

- Окей.

00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:50,280

- Один.

- 1/24-ая кадра готова!

00:13:50,487 --> 00:13:52,148

- Фигня.

- Следующая буква.

00:13:52,356 --> 00:13:54,290

"Ы." МЫ желаем вам счастливого Рождества.

00:13:54,558 --> 00:13:56,492

Где губы для "Ы"?

00:13:58,295 --> 00:14:02,197

- Снова губы "О".

- Один, два.

00:14:02,399 --> 00:14:04,959

- Ну, сколько сделано?

- Мы желаем вам счастливОго Рождества.

00:14:05,236 --> 00:14:06,066

Боже мой!

00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:09,238

Детишки должны сделать отличное кино.

00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:13,274

Если люди не начнут совершать покупки,

мы все потеряем свою работу.

00:14:13,477 --> 00:14:17,379

- Это место выглядит загаженным.

- Ничего, скоро его почистят.

00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:19,840

При-ветики!

00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:21,617

Посмотрите вниз!

00:14:22,086 --> 00:14:24,748

О. Мистер Хэнки, это Вы.

Как мило.

00:14:24,955 --> 00:14:28,857

Я и моя семья здесь, чтобы

обеспечить техническую часть шоу.

00:14:29,059 --> 00:14:32,222

- Великолепно.

- Привет, мистер Важная Персона.

00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:37,357

Хочешь поспорить со мной,

что я пробегусь здесь нагишом?

00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:42,336

- Милая, не начинай.

- Это не я. Он пялился на мою грудь.

00:14:42,606 --> 00:14:44,801

- Она же не настоящая.

- Не говори так!

00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:47,671

Большой секрет! Все знают что

она из отходов силикона.

00:14:48,545 --> 00:14:51,673

- Разбирайтесь без нас. Мы уходим.

- Окей.

00:14:52,049 --> 00:14:55,815

- Это место нуждается в обработке.

- Мы можем все исправить, пап.

00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:58,545

Смотри: бездомный.

00:14:59,390 --> 00:15:00,755

Он выглядит таким грустным, папа!

00:15:03,460 --> 00:15:04,427

Так лучше!

00:15:05,195 --> 00:15:08,653

Отличная работа!

Теперь это место выглядит

более по-рождественному.

00:15:13,337 --> 00:15:17,433

Этот кадр основной. Снимем

губы "А" двумя кадрами.

00:15:18,742 --> 00:15:21,267

- Картман!

- Извините, я простужен!

00:15:21,478 --> 00:15:23,503

Это отняло почти час

нашей работы!

00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:26,308

Знаете, что?

Я был здесь слишком долго.

00:15:26,517 --> 00:15:29,452

Меня бесит этом мультик,

и мы его никогда не закончим.

00:15:29,653 --> 00:15:34,022

- Идите на фиг. А я домой.

- Отлично. Мы сделаем все и без тебя.

00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:37,455

- Мы не сможем. Нужен его голос!

- Мы скопируем его голос.

00:15:37,661 --> 00:15:40,152

Это бессмысленно.

У нас только двадцать секунд мультфильма.

00:15:40,364 --> 00:15:43,527

У нас еще не сделаны Иисус и Санта,

и нет третьего акта.

00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:46,862

- Понадобится чудо, чтобы завершить дело.

- Не говори так.

00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:49,733

Мы должны надеяться.

Чудеса случаются каждый день.

00:15:49,940 --> 00:15:54,240

С людьми как ты и я,

но не ожидающими чуда...

00:15:54,445 --> 00:15:58,142

Если ты поможешь.

00:15:58,582 --> 00:16:02,245

Ты надеешься, а я спешу

Ты молишься, а я планирую

00:16:02,486 --> 00:16:07,856

Сделаем то, что необходимо

Даже чудо нуждается в руке помощи

00:16:08,292 --> 00:16:11,728

Ты любишь, а я тружусь

Ты сидишь, а я стою.

00:16:11,962 --> 00:16:17,059

Поможем друг другу

Даже чудо нуждается в руке помощи.

00:16:18,369 --> 00:16:19,495

Изобрази голос Картмана.

00:16:19,703 --> 00:16:21,967

- Я такой жирный.

- Голос должен быть жирнее.

00:16:22,172 --> 00:16:25,403

Я такой жирный. Помогите

мне перенести мою задницу.

00:16:25,609 --> 00:16:27,941

- Круто! Прорепетируем сценарий.

- Поехали.

00:16:28,145 --> 00:16:31,512

- Кому мы должны помочь?

- Я говорю, что мы должны

помочь Санта Клаусу.

00:16:31,715 --> 00:16:36,778

- Только потому, что он дал тебе конфетку?

- Я не потерплю этого от еврея!

00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:40,783

Ты хочешь, и я помогаю

00:16:42,426 --> 00:16:45,759

Все нуждаются в помощи

Даже чудеса...

00:16:48,298 --> 00:16:50,323

Ничего, в фильме мы его тоже убиваем.

00:16:50,634 --> 00:16:54,968

Даже чудеса нуждаются в руке помощи

00:17:00,177 --> 00:17:01,872

Граждане Южного Парка...

00:17:02,079 --> 00:17:04,707

...мы все рады представить...

00:17:04,915 --> 00:17:07,975

...работу наших южнопарковских детей!

00:17:09,286 --> 00:17:12,278

- Спасибо, спасибо.

- Какого черта ты здесь делаешь?

00:17:12,489 --> 00:17:14,252

О чем ты?

00:17:14,458 --> 00:17:17,427

После того, как вы увидите

этот короткий фильм...

00:17:17,628 --> 00:17:21,826

...вы снова почувствуете

дух Рождества.

00:17:22,032 --> 00:17:22,862

Ребята?

00:17:23,033 --> 00:17:25,593

- Окей, мистер Хэнки.

- Окей!

00:17:29,139 --> 00:17:33,166

Мы желаем вам счастливого Рождества

Мы желаем вам счастливого Рождества

00:17:33,377 --> 00:17:36,471

Мы желаем вам счастливого Рождества

00:17:36,780 --> 00:17:38,907

- Ты разве не еврей, Кайл?

- Ну да.

00:17:39,116 --> 00:17:41,516

Чувак, евреи не празднуют Рождества!

00:17:41,718 --> 00:17:43,913

Ты должен петь гимны Хануки.

00:17:44,121 --> 00:17:45,486

Дрейдл, дрейдл, дрейдл

00:17:55,899 --> 00:17:59,266

- Да уж, мило!

- Вот вам и Рождество.

00:18:00,003 --> 00:18:03,461

Спокойней, граждане!

У нас некоторые технические проблемы.

00:18:04,441 --> 00:18:05,430

Тупость.

00:18:06,176 --> 00:18:09,839

- Уничтожено, я ничего не могу сделать.

- Вся наша работа.

00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:12,038

Спасибо, детишки.

00:18:12,249 --> 00:18:14,774

Самое плохое Рождество,

что было когда-либо.

00:18:14,985 --> 00:18:16,976

- Мы хотим наши 300 баксов назад.

- Но мы потратили их.

00:18:17,187 --> 00:18:19,451

Хорошо, мы подадим на вас в суд.

00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:23,689

Я верил в чудеса.

00:18:25,129 --> 00:18:26,858

- Вся работа.

- Коту под хвост.

00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:29,123

Мне очень жаль.

00:18:29,333 --> 00:18:31,164

Конечно, мистер Хэнки.

00:18:31,368 --> 00:18:33,359

Я думаю, что мы должны идти по домам.

00:18:39,208 --> 00:18:42,974

Это моя вина. Во всем виноват я.

Я заставил всех поверить и...

00:18:43,245 --> 00:18:46,703

- Мы можем починить проектор!

- Слишком поздно.

00:18:46,916 --> 00:18:50,477

Все потеряно.

Я ничего не понимаю в проекторах.

00:18:50,686 --> 00:18:52,313

Я - просто кусок дерьма.

00:18:52,621 --> 00:18:55,988

Ты учил меня, что какашки

- это основа основ и цикл всего.

00:18:56,192 --> 00:19:00,526

Это была просто тупая песня,

чтобы ты перестал печалится.

00:19:00,796 --> 00:19:02,195

Нет, не правда.

00:19:02,398 --> 00:19:05,561

Ты показал мне, что я могу все,

что захочу.

00:19:05,768 --> 00:19:10,102

Ты заставил меня поверить в себя.

Я прошу тебя сделать то же.

00:19:10,406 --> 00:19:11,430

Сынок...

00:19:12,842 --> 00:19:17,176

...ты - умнейший кусок дерьма,

начиная с Альберта Какэнштейна!

00:19:19,281 --> 00:19:22,773

Это отличное Рождество.

Без коммерции и магазинов.

00:19:22,985 --> 00:19:27,285

- Только огонь в камине и семья.

- Я хочу сдохнуть.

00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:46,735

У них получилось! Заработало!

00:19:46,942 --> 00:19:50,469

Ты переврал значение

Рождества!

00:19:50,679 --> 00:19:54,206

Я несу счастье и любовь

детям всего мира.

00:19:54,650 --> 00:19:58,450

- Рождество - праздник моего рождения.

- Рождество для подарков.

00:20:01,056 --> 00:20:02,421

Он работает.

00:20:02,625 --> 00:20:05,458

Что? Член вашего отца работает?

00:20:06,462 --> 00:20:10,057

Мы поговорили даже с Брайаном Бойтано.

00:20:10,466 --> 00:20:13,526

Ты знаешь,

Я узнал кое что новое сегодня.

00:20:13,736 --> 00:20:17,263

Не имеет значения - христианин ли ты,

еврей, атеист или хинду...

00:20:17,473 --> 00:20:19,964

...в Рождестве есть

одна очень важная часть...

00:20:20,176 --> 00:20:21,803

- Да, ветчина.

- Нет, не ветчина!

00:20:23,145 --> 00:20:26,444

- Почему я сказал это?

- Мы могли заставить сказать

тебя все, что угодно!

00:20:26,649 --> 00:20:29,174

В Рождестве есть одна

наиважнейшая часть.

00:20:29,385 --> 00:20:30,511

Подарки.

00:20:30,719 --> 00:20:32,778

Разве ты не видишь, Кайл?

00:20:34,457 --> 00:20:35,788

Подарки.

00:20:36,525 --> 00:20:40,154

Они правы!

Ведь в Рождество должны быть подарки.

00:20:40,362 --> 00:20:43,263

Если мы все купим подарки,

наши близкие будут только рады.

00:20:44,033 --> 00:20:46,968

Вот он, дух Рождества: коммерция!

00:20:47,169 --> 00:20:49,194

Вот на чем построена наша страна.

00:20:49,405 --> 00:20:52,932

Они начинают понимать.

00:20:53,142 --> 00:20:56,703

Мы забыли такие маленькие,

но важные вещи, как любовь...

00:20:56,912 --> 00:21:00,473

...а еще мы забыли про покупки подарков,

а это ведь развитие нашей экономики.

00:21:00,716 --> 00:21:04,743

Магазины все еще открыты!

У нас еще есть время на покупки.

00:21:05,788 --> 00:21:07,187

Вперед!

00:21:15,064 --> 00:21:17,589

Ты сделал это, мистер Хэнки!

Ты вернул дух Рождества.

00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:21,236

- Нет, вы сделали это.

- Мы все!

00:21:21,437 --> 00:21:25,601

Мультфильм был потрясающим!

Не хотите ли выпустить еще сотню?

00:21:25,808 --> 00:21:27,867

Нет уж, спасибо. Мы еле сделали этот.

00:21:28,077 --> 00:21:29,772

Да, а теперь надо идти открывать подарки.

00:21:29,979 --> 00:21:32,504

Евреи получают подарки

в течение восьми дней.

00:21:32,715 --> 00:21:34,580

- Засчитайте и меня!

- Я тоже хочу быть евреем!

00:21:34,783 --> 00:21:37,149

Дрейдел, дрейдел, дрейдел

Я сделал тебя из глины

00:21:37,453 --> 00:21:39,819

Дрейдел, дрейдел, дрейдел

С дрейделом я буду играть.

00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:12,013

♪ Gonna have

myself a time ♪

00:00:12,138 --> 00:00:13,597

♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

00:00:13,723 --> 00:00:15,391

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:16,475

♪ Going down

to South Park ♪

00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,644

♪ Gonna leave

my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,769 --> 00:00:20,479

♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:22,023

♪ People spouting

"howdy neighbor" ♪

00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:23,232

♪ Headed on up

to South Park ♪

00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:25,276

♪ Gonna see if

I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,401 --> 00:00:28,529

♪ [muffled] ♪

00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:30,281

♪ So come on down

to South Park ♪

00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:32,324

♪ And meet some

friends of mine ♪

00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,925

He's gonna be here

any minute, Ike.

00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:52,178

Oh, no.

Poopie.

00:00:52,303 --> 00:00:53,846

He might not come

00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:55,056

if you're too close

to the toilet bowl, Ike.

00:00:55,181 --> 00:00:57,516

Come sit by me.

00:01:02,313 --> 00:01:03,439

It's getting late, boys,

00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:04,815

why don't you

come on up to bed?

00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:06,567

Just let us stay up

a little longer, Mom,

00:01:06,692 --> 00:01:08,903

Mr. Hankey's got to show up.

He always does.

00:01:09,028 --> 00:01:10,446

Alright, bubbie.

00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:13,032

Oh, and, boys,

Happy Hanukkah.

00:01:13,157 --> 00:01:15,743

Happy Hanukkah, Mom.

00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:26,170

["Silent Night" instrumental]

00:01:31,092 --> 00:01:32,885

[babbles]

00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:35,471

Whee, whee.

00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:53,531

Go away!

00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:08,921

[gasps]

00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:20,099

[phone rings]

00:02:20,224 --> 00:02:21,684

[mumbles]

00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:23,227

Stan, go get

the other guys

00:02:23,352 --> 00:02:25,437

and tell them to meet me

at the bus stop in ten minutes.

00:02:25,563 --> 00:02:26,438

[mumbles]

00:02:28,149 --> 00:02:29,525

Okay, good,

you're all here.

00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,026

What's this

all about, Kyle?

00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:32,820

It's Mr. Hankey.

He hasn't shown up yet!

00:02:32,945 --> 00:02:34,446

Oh, Jesus Christ,

I'm going back to bed.

00:02:34,572 --> 00:02:36,365

It's only three days

until Christmas, you guys.

00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,117

You know how bad things

have been around here.

00:02:38,242 --> 00:02:40,119

I think it might be because

Mr. Hankey hasn't come.

00:02:40,244 --> 00:02:41,996

Kyle, I have a full day

of watching TV tomorrow.

00:02:42,121 --> 00:02:43,998

I don't have time to go

on a poo hunt right now, okay?

00:02:44,123 --> 00:02:45,499

If you guys want there

to be a Christmas,

00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:46,500

you better come help me.

00:02:51,297 --> 00:02:52,381

[sneezes]

00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:53,799

Dude, you sneezed

on my back!

00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:55,176

Oh, sorry, you might

get some germs

00:02:55,301 --> 00:02:56,886

while you're walking around

in human feces.

00:02:57,011 --> 00:02:58,345

Hey, look!

00:03:01,807 --> 00:03:03,100

Hello?

00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:05,603

Howww-dy ho!

00:03:07,563 --> 00:03:08,731

Mr. Hankey!

Oh, we were so worried.

00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:10,149

I was waiting up for you,

00:03:10,274 --> 00:03:11,650

and you didn't come

so I thought that--

00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:13,235

Oh, no,

I'm fine, Kyle.

00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:14,528

But where have you been?

00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:15,905

Things aren't the same

without you.

00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:17,281

Nobody seems to have

the Christmas spirit.

00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:18,908

Oh, I know, Kyle.

00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:20,951

I've just been awful busy

with my family.

00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:21,911

Honey!

00:03:22,036 --> 00:03:23,204

Family?

00:03:23,329 --> 00:03:25,206

Boys, I want you to meet

my wife, Autumn.

00:03:25,331 --> 00:03:26,957

Howdy hey, kids.

00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:28,292

Would you like

a drink?

00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:29,919

They're too young

to drink, honey.

00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:31,921

Oh, hell,

it's Christmas.

00:03:32,046 --> 00:03:34,048

Oh, and you have to meet

the little nuggets too.

00:03:34,173 --> 00:03:35,090

Kids!

00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:36,884

This is our son

Cornwallis.

00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:39,511

Howww-dy ho!

00:03:39,637 --> 00:03:40,971

Our daughter Amber.

00:03:41,096 --> 00:03:42,264

Howdy ho!

00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:43,682

And our son Simon.

00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,517

[giggles]

Hey!

00:03:45,643 --> 00:03:46,852

Simon's not so smart.

00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:49,521

He was born

with a peanut in his head.

00:03:49,647 --> 00:03:51,023

What's that, Pa?

00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:52,149

Nothin', Simon.

00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:54,026

A family!

00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:56,153

So that's why you haven't been

able to spread Christmas cheer.

00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:57,529

It sure has been tough.

00:03:57,655 --> 00:03:59,907

Nobody seems that into

Christmas up there.

00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:01,659

I know, it's like it

doesn't matter anymore.

00:04:01,784 --> 00:04:03,619

My mom's barely bought me

any presents so far.

00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,412

Well, don't worry kids.

00:04:05,537 --> 00:04:06,956

I'm sending the nuggets

up tomorrow

00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:08,666

to spread Christmas cheer.

00:04:08,791 --> 00:04:10,251

And if you want,

you can help them.

00:04:10,376 --> 00:04:12,211

Sure we'll help!

- Anything for more presents!

00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:14,296

[hiccups] Whoo-hoo!

It's a Christmas party!

00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:15,923

Hey, you boys.

00:04:16,048 --> 00:04:18,467

You boys want to bet me

I won't take off my clothes?

00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,844

Honey, please,

you're--you're drunk, okay.

00:04:20,970 --> 00:04:22,805

But it's Christmas, baby!

00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:24,765

Honey, can we go inside

for a second?

00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:27,851

Now, when people come over--

00:04:27,977 --> 00:04:30,604

[yelling, smashing]

00:04:32,356 --> 00:04:34,692

[yelling continues]

00:04:34,817 --> 00:04:36,485

[yelling stops abruptly]

00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,570

Well, it's decided, kids,

00:04:38,696 --> 00:04:41,949

tomorrow we're gonna bring back

the spirit of Christmas!

00:04:43,826 --> 00:04:46,704

[humming

"Good King Wenceslas"]

00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:50,541

Ho, ho, ho!

00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:52,710

Merry Christmas, you guys.

00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:54,920

Only three

shopping days until--

00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:56,171

God damn it!

00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:58,132

Hey, Merry Christmas,

asshole!

00:04:58,257 --> 00:04:59,425

Nobody's paying

any attention.

00:04:59,550 --> 00:05:00,759

Look out!

00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:03,762

Ew, I almost

stepped in it!

00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:05,723

Well, it was

a good effort, boys,

00:05:05,848 --> 00:05:07,141

but I'm gonna have to

close shop.

00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:08,934

Nobody's buying anything,

and I can't afford

00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:11,103

to keep this

furnace runnin'.

00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:13,063

Oh, and, boys, there's

some crap on the sidewalk there.

00:05:13,188 --> 00:05:14,189

Watch out.

00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,151

Not one toy.

00:05:17,276 --> 00:05:19,403

I guess this year everyone's

content to celebrate

00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:21,655

with candles and love.

00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:22,865

[sobbing]

00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:24,533

This is hopeless.

00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,452

We're just gonna have to face

that the commercialism

00:05:26,577 --> 00:05:27,953

has been sucked

out of Christmas.

00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:29,955

And in other news tonight,

it appears that everyone

00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,458

is officially

sick of Christmas.

00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:34,293

In an S.P.C. Poll,

00:05:34,418 --> 00:05:36,587

38% said they were fed up

and tired of the holiday.

00:05:36,712 --> 00:05:38,505

5% said they were

indifferent to it.

00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:41,008

And a whopping 57%

00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:43,093

said they would kick Bon Jovi

square in the balls

00:05:43,218 --> 00:05:44,720

if given the opportunity.

00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:46,055

Well, I think people

00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:47,639

are just fed up with

the crowded shopping

00:05:47,765 --> 00:05:49,058

and the

credit card bills.

00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:51,101

I think that the holiday

just has become a joke.

00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:52,561

You know,

it's just that a lot of people

00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,897

don't really believe in

the whole "Jesus" thing anymore.

00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,482

You know?

So what's to celebrate?

00:05:56,607 --> 00:05:57,900

Oh, yeah,

right in the balls, man,

00:05:58,025 --> 00:05:59,860

right square

in the balls.

00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:02,029

Well, the holiday spirit

may be gone from South Park,

00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:05,324

but at least our faith

in each other remains strong.

00:06:05,449 --> 00:06:06,241

[whispering]

00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:07,993

Oh, really?

00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:09,995

Dude, change the channel.

This is too depressing.

00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:13,290

Good grief, we need

a Christmas tree for our play.

00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:15,125

Oh, Jesus,

not this thing again.

00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:17,336

How come everyone in cartoons

has such big heads?

00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:20,631

Alright, everyone, we've got

to get on with our play.

00:06:20,756 --> 00:06:21,924

Jesus, this sucks!

00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:23,592

All they keep doing

is dancing around.

00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,636

Yeah, this thing really

falls apart in the second act.

00:06:25,761 --> 00:06:27,721

And why is it--that on

"Charlie Brown" cartoons--

00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,390

everyone talks--

like this?

00:06:29,515 --> 00:06:31,225

My mom could make a better

Christmas special than this.

00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:32,476

Hey, that's it!

00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:33,727

Oh, my God.

That's totally it!

00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:35,437

It's so simple.

- What, dude?

00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,481

We can get everyone back

into the Christmas spirit

00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:39,858

by making our very own

animated Christmas special

00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:41,860

and showing it

to everybody in town.

00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:43,445

We don't know anything

about animation.

00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,030

How hard can it be?

Look at it?

00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:46,615

Hey, yeah!

00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,659

We can make a little animated

Santa Claus and Jesus.

00:06:48,784 --> 00:06:50,911

And it can star us instead of

these little round-headed guys.

00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:52,579

Hell yeah, awesome!

00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:56,041

Yeah, and we can call it...

"The Spirit of Christmas."

00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:02,798

Oh, this is

terrible, Johnson.

00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,801

Our whole town's economy

is going right in the toilet.

00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,178

We've got to get everybody

back in the Christmas spirit.

00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:10,264

Mayor, some adorable children

are here to see you.

00:07:10,389 --> 00:07:11,640

[groans]

Send them in.

00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,308

Mayor, we have

the solution to your problem.

00:07:13,434 --> 00:07:14,309

You do?

00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:15,811

We're gonna make

00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,396

a short animated Christmas card

that everyone can watch

00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:19,398

and play it on the screen

at the old drive-in.

00:07:19,523 --> 00:07:20,524

It'll have everything--

Jesus, Santa.

00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:21,942

And when people see it,

00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:23,193

they'll just have to

get in the spirit.

00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:24,695

All we need is

$300 for our budget.

00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:26,697

An animated

Christmas card!

00:07:26,822 --> 00:07:28,240

Kids, that just might be

00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:31,076

the dumbest idea

I've ever heard, ever!

00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:32,661

All: Aw.

00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,288

But at this point

I'm willing to try anything.

00:07:34,413 --> 00:07:35,706

Johnson, cut 'em

a check for $300.

00:07:35,831 --> 00:07:37,332

All: Alright!

00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:39,334

You guys go tell Butters

to start making the cutouts.

00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:40,919

I'm gonna go tell Mr. Hankey

the good news.

00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:43,422

[yelling, banging]

You put the vase down!

00:07:43,547 --> 00:07:45,966

Put that vase down!

That's an expensive vase!

00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:47,926

Don't you

throw that vase!

00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:49,052

[glass shatters]

00:07:49,178 --> 00:07:51,305

Uh, Mr. Hankey!

00:07:51,430 --> 00:07:54,099

Oh, Kyle,

howww-dy ho!

00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:55,559

We got the money,

Mr. Hankey,

00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:57,436

we're gonna make our

animated Christmas card.

00:07:57,561 --> 00:08:01,523

Oh, that's swell!

Kids, Christmas is back on!

00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,817

We got to all go get that

old drive-in working again.

00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:05,819

All: Okay!

00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:07,613

That's not the only thing

we got to get working again,

00:08:07,738 --> 00:08:08,906

if you know what I mean.

00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:10,324

Why--why do you--

why do you have to

00:08:10,449 --> 00:08:12,451

say things like that

in front of people?

00:08:12,576 --> 00:08:14,036

Well, I got to go

start our animation.

00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,078

We've only got two days!

00:08:15,204 --> 00:08:16,413

Good luck, Kyle,

00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:17,873

and we'll have

that projector working.

00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,625

Don't you worry!

00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:22,127

[sniffling]

What's the matter, Cornwallis?

00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:25,839

Alright, Butters,

let's see what you've got.

00:08:25,964 --> 00:08:27,591

Oh, well, okay.

00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:29,593

Now, don't expect too much

with the budget you gave me.

00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:30,761

Yeah, yeah, yeah,

just let us see 'em.

00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:32,429

Well, alright.

00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:33,931

Here's a little

construction paper Santa Claus.

00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:35,349

"Ho, ho, ho there, kids.

00:08:35,474 --> 00:08:37,434

Would you like some

toys and stuff?"

00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,686

Ah, and, uh,

here's a little Jesus.

00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:42,314

"Hey there, Santa, I'm the light

and the way and stuff."

00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:45,108

"Oh, okay, that's good,

I suppose."

00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:48,111

And here's the cutout versions

of you guys.

00:08:48,237 --> 00:08:49,446

All: Whoa.

00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:50,948

[chuckles]

Look, he made Stan all fat.

00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:52,199

That's not me. That's you!

- What?

00:08:52,324 --> 00:08:54,076

They kind of

look like us.

00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,161

I mean, Stan's got blue eyes,

and I've got a sharper nose,

00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:57,704

but I mean,

they kind of look like us.

00:08:57,829 --> 00:08:59,748

I am not that Goddamn fat!

- Good job, Butters.

00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,417

Oh, uh, hey, I made a little

cutout version of me too,

00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:04,253

in case you need it

for your animated film.

00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:06,171

No, that's okay.

- See ya!

00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:08,757

Oh, alright,

alright then.

00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:09,508

[door closes]

00:09:11,510 --> 00:09:13,762

"Oh, hey there, good-looking,

what's your name?"

00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,430

"Ah, Butters, ma'am."

00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:17,891

"Oh, Butters, would you like

to slap my titties around?"

00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:19,851

"Whoa, well, ah...

00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:22,521

no, thanks, ma'am,

I'll get in trouble again."

00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:29,069

Cornwallis, we've got to go

fix up the drive-in.

00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:30,946

I don't want to, Dad.

I'm too sad.

00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,990

Hey, it's alright,

Cornwallis.

00:09:33,115 --> 00:09:34,324

Those boys' animated movie

00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:36,410

will bring back

the spirit of Christmas.

00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:37,953

It's not that, father,

it's--

00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:40,330

I don't feel like I'm

really a part of Christmas.

00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:43,417

But, son, you're a Hankey.

We love Christmas.

00:09:43,542 --> 00:09:46,253

Come on, it's time

to sit around the tree!

00:09:46,378 --> 00:09:47,588

We're having a talk,

honey.

00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:49,506

God damn it,

it's Christmas,

00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:51,717

and we're gonna be a happy

family around the tree.

00:09:51,842 --> 00:09:53,218

Autumn, you're drunk,

alright?

00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:54,386

Now, just go help

the other kids.

00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:56,305

They can't get

their stockings up.

00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:59,349

That's not the only thing

that can't get up around here.

00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,727

Now, come on, son.

Don't be so down.

00:10:01,852 --> 00:10:03,312

Why?

We're just pieces of crap.

00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:04,563

Christmas isn't for us.

00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:06,481

Christmas is

about feeling good.

00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:08,025

That's for everybody!

00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:09,610

I see the nativity--

00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:11,486

there's angels, shepherds,

and sheep, but no poo.

00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:13,530

All the Christmas movies--

Santa, elves, reindeer--

00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:15,449

no poo.

I'm not a part of it.

00:10:15,574 --> 00:10:17,451

No, you're not

a part of it, Cornwallis.

00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:19,620

You're all of it.

Don't you see?

00:10:19,745 --> 00:10:20,829

I'm nothing but crap.

00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,664

But crap is everything.

00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:26,418

♪ Everything that lives on earth

poos in some way ♪

00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:28,253

♪ And that's how

the cycle happens ♪

00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:30,422

♪ Each and every day ♪

00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:32,257

♪ Just look at

the green, green grass ♪

00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:34,843

♪ And the birds

up in the sky ♪

00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:39,348

♪ It's all here because of poo

and now I'll tell you why ♪

00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:41,516

♪ Grass is eaten

by the cattle ♪

00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:43,727

♪ Which is eaten

by women and men ♪

00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:47,648

♪ It fuses with their bodies

and becomes poo again ♪

00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:49,524

♪ And that poo goes

through the sewer ♪

00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,652

♪ Where it's dumped

into the sea ♪

00:10:51,777 --> 00:10:53,737

♪ And it's eaten

by the plankton ♪

00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:56,907

♪ That becomes

the fishes' meal ♪

00:10:57,032 --> 00:11:01,161

♪ And then that bigger fish

with the poo still inside ♪

00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:05,040

♪ Swims up near the shore

and gets eaten alive ♪

00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:09,169

♪ By a grizzly bear that poos

on a dead piece of sand ♪

00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:14,925

♪ So it can spring to life

and become food for the land ♪

00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:17,094

♪ It's the poo

of the antelope ♪

00:11:17,219 --> 00:11:19,262

♪ The poo of the giraffe ♪

00:11:19,388 --> 00:11:21,473

♪ That falls

onto the earth ♪

00:11:21,598 --> 00:11:23,392

♪ And becomes

the blades of grass ♪

00:11:23,517 --> 00:11:25,394

♪ The grass is eaten

by the cattle ♪

00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:27,562

♪ Which comes out

the other end ♪

00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:33,068

♪ To make poo for the humans

and start all over again ♪

00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,778

You see, son,

00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:36,196

you're not an insignificant

part of life.

00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:37,989

You are life.

00:11:38,115 --> 00:11:39,366

But how can I be

that giraffe

00:11:39,491 --> 00:11:41,118

and blade of grass

and a human?

00:11:41,243 --> 00:11:42,911

I don't control

what they do.

00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,414

Just like your heart beats

without you thinking about it,

00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:48,458

so, too, your giraffes

and your humans do what they do

00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:50,669

without you even

thinking about it.

00:11:50,794 --> 00:11:54,548

But it is all one life form,

it is all...you.

00:11:54,673 --> 00:11:56,883

I think I see now.

00:11:57,008 --> 00:11:59,344

[deep, resonant voice]

♪ I'm the poo of the antelope ♪

00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:01,388

♪ That flows

onto the ground ♪

00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:02,597

♪ Becomes the grass

of tomorrow ♪

00:12:02,723 --> 00:12:03,849

♪ Yeah ♪

00:12:03,974 --> 00:12:05,600

♪ Which the grazers

turn around ♪

00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:09,354

♪ So I'm the leg of a leopard

and the wings of the hen ♪

00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,398

Both: ♪ Which becomes

dinner for the humans ♪

00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:14,234

♪ And turns back

to poo again ♪

00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:15,652

♪ Mm-hmm ♪

00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:17,654

Both: ♪ That's the cycle ♪

00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:20,824

♪ The cycle of poo ♪

00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,287

Okay, here's the script.

00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:27,122

But it doesn't have an ending.

- No ending?

00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,623

Well, we can't animate until

we have our voices recorded,

00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:29,875

so we better just record

what we have

00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,126

and figure out the ending later.

00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,836

Okay, talk directly

into the mic.

00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:34,296

And don't hit any hard "p's".

- What's a hard "p"?

00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:35,630

You know, first thing

in the morning

00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:36,757

when it just

won't come out?

00:12:36,882 --> 00:12:38,300

Oh, yeah.

00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:40,010

Um, okay,

sound is speeding and...

00:12:40,135 --> 00:12:41,928

All: ♪ We wish you

a Merry Christmas ♪

00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:44,264

Hold on.

00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:45,182

[feedback buzzes]

00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:46,183

[all screaming]

00:12:46,308 --> 00:12:49,478

Ah, hmm, okay, and...

00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:51,313

All: ♪ We wish you

a Merry Christmas ♪

00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:52,773

♪ We wish

you a Merry Christmas ♪

00:12:52,898 --> 00:12:54,566

Hey, wait a minute!

- What?

00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:55,817

Aren't you Jewish, Kyle?

00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,402

Well, yes, I think so.

00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:59,613

Dude, Jewish people

don't celebrate Christmas.

00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:01,490

You're supposed to sing

Hanukkah songs.

00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:03,116

[upbeat piano music]

00:13:03,241 --> 00:13:05,410

♪ Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel,

I made you out of clay ♪

00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:06,620

♪ Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel ♪

00:13:06,745 --> 00:13:08,121

[chuckles]

Hanukkah sucks.

00:13:08,246 --> 00:13:09,581

Don't you

oppress me, fat boy!

00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,291

Don't call me fat,

butt fucker!

00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:13,960

Then don't belittle my people,

you fucking fat-ass!

00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:15,504

Guys, knock it off,

we have to record this.

00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:17,339

[laughing]

Dude, that was awesome.

00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,090

What's awesome?

- The script, it's sweet.

00:13:19,216 --> 00:13:21,134

That's not in the script.

They do this all the time.

00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:22,928

Well, it should be

in the script.

00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:24,554

All that, "you're fat"

and "you're a Jew" and stuff.

00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:25,388

It's great.

00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:30,727

Check it out, dude.

00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:31,937

The camera shoots

one frame at a time.

00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:33,939

So all we got to do

is put the right mouth on,

00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:35,232

according to what syllable

00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:36,399

they're pronouncing

at that frame.

00:13:36,525 --> 00:13:37,734

Easy.

- Yeah.

00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:39,069

So what's the first syllable?

00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:41,112

Ah, "w", we wish you

a Merry Christmas.

00:13:41,238 --> 00:13:43,490

Okay, so we put little "woo"

mouths on all our heads.

00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:44,991

And then we shoot that

for one frame.

00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:46,535

Okay.

00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:48,245

[camera clicks]

One.

00:13:48,370 --> 00:13:50,247

That's 1/24th of a second

of our movie already shot.

00:13:50,372 --> 00:13:51,706

Kick-ass!

- Now the next mouth.

00:13:51,832 --> 00:13:53,834

Ah, "e", we wish you

a Merry Christmas.

00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:55,168

Okay.

Where are the "e" mouths?

00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:55,919

"e" mouths...

00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:59,881

Okay,

"woo" mouths again.

00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:01,633

One, two.

00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:02,968

So how much done

is that?

00:14:03,093 --> 00:14:06,096

"We wish you a Merry."

- Ah, Jesus Christ.

00:14:06,221 --> 00:14:08,765

These kids better make a good

Christmas movie, Johnson.

00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,809

If people in this town

don't start shopping again,

00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:12,769

we're all gonna be

out of jobs next year!

00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:14,938

This place

is pretty rundown.

00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:16,857

It's alright.

We've got a cleanup crew coming.

00:14:16,982 --> 00:14:19,025

Howww-dy ho!

00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:20,610

Down here!

00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:22,988

Ahh!

- Oh, Mr. Hankey, it's you.

00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:24,364

How wonderful.

00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:25,782

My family and I are here

00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:28,285

to get the drive-in ready

for the big movie!

00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:29,870

Perfect.

00:14:29,995 --> 00:14:32,789

Hi there,

Mr. Important Political Person.

00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:35,000

You want to bet me

I won't take off my clothes

00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:37,085

and run naked through

this parking lot?

00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:38,795

Honey, please don't start.

00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,171

I didn't start it!

00:14:40,297 --> 00:14:41,715

He was looking

at my breasts.

00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,133

They're not real,

you know.

00:14:43,258 --> 00:14:45,218

Don't you say that!

- Oh, big secret.

00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:47,095

Everyone can tell

they're made of "silicorn."

00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,931

Ah, we'll just leave you

to your cleanup.

00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,641

Okay!

00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:54,436

Boy, oh, boy, this place

sure needs a lot of work.

00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:55,562

We can fix it up, dad.

00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:57,856

Oh, look,

a homeless person.

00:14:57,981 --> 00:15:00,942

Oh, he looks sad, Papa.

00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:03,945

There, that's better.

00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:05,405

Good job, Amber.

00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:07,782

Now this place is starting

to look Christmassy.

00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:14,456

Okay, okay,

this shot is finally set up.

00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,166

Now shoot the "oh" mouth

for two frames.

00:15:16,291 --> 00:15:17,542

Ah-choo!

00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:18,877

Agh!

- Cartman!

00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:20,795

Well, I'm sorry,

I have a cold.

00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:23,048

That took us half an hour

to set up, fat-ass!

00:15:23,173 --> 00:15:25,926

Alright, you know what?

I have been here too long!

00:15:26,051 --> 00:15:27,469

I'm sick of making

this stupid cartoon,

00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,137

and we're never gonna

finish it anyways!

00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:32,098

Screw you, guys...

I'm going home.

00:15:32,223 --> 00:15:33,391

Fine, we'll do it

without you.

00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:34,809

We can't do it

without him, Kyle,

00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:35,977

we've already

animated him in it.

00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:36,978

We'll dub his voice over.

00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:38,480

Kyle, it's hopeless.

00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,273

We've only got 20 seconds

of animation done.

00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:42,025

We still have Jesus'

and Santa's voices to record.

00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:43,610

And we don't even have

a third act.

00:15:43,735 --> 00:15:45,445

Dude, it would take a miracle

to finish this thing.

00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:47,614

Now, don't go saying that.

There's always hope.

00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:49,449

Miracles happen

most every day...

00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:51,451

♪ To people

like you and me ♪

00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:53,787

♪ But don't expect

a miracle ♪

00:15:53,912 --> 00:15:57,958

♪ Unless you help

make it to be ♪

00:15:58,083 --> 00:15:59,709

♪ You hope

and I'll hurry ♪

00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:01,711

♪ You pray and I'll plan ♪

00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,630

♪ We'll do

what's necessary ♪

00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:06,883

♪ 'Cause even a miracle

needs a hand ♪

00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:08,385

♪ You love ♪

♪ We love ♪

00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:09,761

♪ And I'll labor ♪

♪ Tra, la, la ♪

00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:10,512

♪ You sit ♪

♪ We sit ♪

00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,138

♪ And I'll stand ♪

00:16:12,263 --> 00:16:13,515

♪ Get help

from our next-door neighbor ♪

00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:17,477

♪ 'cause even a miracle

needs a hand ♪

00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:18,937

You can do Cartman's

voice, can't you?

00:16:19,062 --> 00:16:20,271

[normal voice]

Uh, I'm so fat.

00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:21,690

No, you got to sound fatter.

00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:23,274

[mimics Cartman]

Hey, you guys, seriously.

00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:24,985

I'm so fat,

help me out over here.

00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:26,236

Cool,

now let's try the script.

00:16:26,361 --> 00:16:28,071

Rolling.

00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:29,823

I don't know what to do, dude,

who should we help?

00:16:29,948 --> 00:16:31,449

[mimics Cartman]

I say we help Santa Claus.

00:16:31,574 --> 00:16:33,785

Oh, you're just saying that

because he brings you candy.

00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:37,789

Hey, I don't need to take that

kind of shit from a Jew!

00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:39,165

♪ You wish ♪

♪ We wish ♪

00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:40,625

♪ And I'll whittle ♪

♪ Tra, la, la ♪

00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:41,793

♪ You sit ♪

♪ We sit ♪

00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:43,044

♪ And I'll stand ♪

00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:44,254

♪ Let's all try to

help a little ♪

00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:45,046

♪ 'Cause even a miracle-- ♪

00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:50,010

It's okay, we'll just have

his character die in the film.

00:16:50,135 --> 00:16:55,724

Both: ♪ Even a miracle

needs a hand ♪

00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,354

Citizens of South Park,

00:17:01,479 --> 00:17:04,399

the Colorado Film Commission

is pleased to present to you

00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:08,361

a work by some of our

very own South Park children.

00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:09,779

Thank you, thank you.

- Cartman!

00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:10,905

What the hell

are you doing here?

00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:12,157

You quit.

00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:13,533

What are you

talking about "quit"?

00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:15,035

Puh--

I don't remember that.

00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:16,953

We know that after you see

this darling short film,

00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:18,997

you will all feel

the mighty glow

00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:21,124

of the Christmas spirit

once again.

00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:22,125

Boys?

00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:23,209

Okay, Mr. Hankey.

00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:25,420

Okay!

00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:30,383

All: ♪ We wish you

a Merry Christmas ♪

00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:32,469

♪ We wish you a Merry

Christmas ♪

00:17:32,594 --> 00:17:34,304

♪ We wish you

a Merry Christmas ♪

00:17:34,429 --> 00:17:36,181

Hey, wait a minute.

- What?

00:17:36,306 --> 00:17:38,266

Aren't you Jewish, Kyle?

- Yeah, I think so.

00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,018

Dude, Jewish people

don't celebrate Christmas.

00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:41,394

What?

00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:43,104

You're supposed

to sing Hanukkah songs.

00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:44,814

♪ Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel ♪

00:17:44,939 --> 00:17:46,941

[film warping]

00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:57,327

Ooh, pretty!

00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:59,037

Well, that's Christmas

for ya.

00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:00,622

Uh, just hang on, folks,

00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:03,416

we seem to be having some

technical difficulties.

00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:05,585

Stupid.

00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:07,837

It's completely destroyed.

There's nothing I can do!

00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:09,464

All that hard work.

00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,466

Well, thanks a lot, kids,

great idea you had there.

00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:12,884

Now everyone is more

disenfranchised

00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:13,968

with Christmas than ever.

00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:15,428

We want our

300 bucks back.

00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:16,763

But we spent it.

00:18:16,888 --> 00:18:17,597

Fine,

then we'll sue you.

00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:20,183

Johnson.

00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:24,104

I...Used to

believe in miracles.

00:18:24,229 --> 00:18:26,481

All that work.

For nothing.

00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:28,566

Boys, I-I'm...

I'm sorry.

00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:30,527

Sure, sure,

Mr. Hankey.

00:18:30,652 --> 00:18:32,487

I guess we might as well

go home now.

00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:41,121

It's my fault,

all my fault.

00:18:41,246 --> 00:18:42,747

I got everyone's

hopes up.

00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:44,707

But, Dad,

we can fix the projector.

00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:46,167

Oh, it's too late

for that, son.

00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:47,877

Everyone's gone home.

00:18:48,002 --> 00:18:49,587

And I don't know nothin'

about projectors.

00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:52,423

I'm just a stupid

piece of crap.

00:18:52,549 --> 00:18:54,342

Dad, you taught me

an important lesson,

00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:55,885

that crap is the cycle

of everything.

00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:58,805

Oh, that was

just a stupid song, Cornwallis!

00:18:58,930 --> 00:19:00,515

I was just trying to get you

to stop your bitching.

00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:01,975

No, it wasn't

a stupid song,

00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,643

because you showed me

that I have the power

00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,478

and the strength

to do anything I want.

00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:07,564

You made me

believe in myself, Dad.

00:19:07,689 --> 00:19:09,816

Now I'm asking you

to do the same.

00:19:09,941 --> 00:19:12,902

Son...

00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:15,363

You're the smartest piece

of crap since Albert Poo-dinger!

00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:17,157

Come on!

00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:20,952

Isn't this a nice

Christmas, Stanley?

00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:22,537

No commercialism and shopping.

00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:24,831

Just a nice fire and family.

00:19:24,956 --> 00:19:26,583

[farts]

I want to die!

00:19:29,544 --> 00:19:32,422

[projector running]

00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:45,643

They did it!

00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:46,978

They got it working!

00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:48,813

You have blemished

the meaning of Christmas

00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:50,273

for the last time, Kringle.

00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:52,317

I bring happiness and love

00:19:52,442 --> 00:19:54,402

to children

all over the world.

00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,321

Christmas is

for celebrating my birth.

00:19:56,446 --> 00:19:58,448

Christmas is for giving.

00:19:58,573 --> 00:20:00,700

[crowd]

Oh...wow.

00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:02,452

Mom, they got it

working!

00:20:02,577 --> 00:20:05,455

What, son, they got your

father's penis working again?

00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:09,876

We actually spoke

to the Brian Boitano.

00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:11,461

Yeah, and you know,

00:20:11,586 --> 00:20:13,213

I think I learned

something today.

00:20:13,338 --> 00:20:15,006

It doesn't matter

if you're Christian

00:20:15,131 --> 00:20:17,175

or Jewish

or Atheist or Hindu--

00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:19,636

Christmas still is about

one very important thing.

00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:21,512

Yeah, ham.

- No, not ham!

00:20:21,638 --> 00:20:22,972

[laughing]

00:20:23,097 --> 00:20:24,724

Hey, why the hell did you

have me say that?

00:20:24,849 --> 00:20:26,351

We can make you say

whatever we wanted.

00:20:26,476 --> 00:20:28,186

Christmas is about something

much more important.

00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:29,687

What?

- Presents.

00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:31,314

Ah.

- Don't you see, Kyle?

00:20:31,439 --> 00:20:33,524

Yeah.

- Presents.

00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:36,319

Presents...

Presents!

00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:37,987

My God, they're right!

00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:39,781

Christmas is about presents.

00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:43,618

If we all buy presents,

everyone benefits, mkay.

00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:45,453

That is the spirit

of Christmas:

00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:46,829

commercialism.

00:20:46,955 --> 00:20:49,082

Because it's what makes

our country work.

00:20:49,207 --> 00:20:51,167

They're starting

to understand, Johnson.

00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:52,877

They're starting to

understand.

00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:55,380

We got so caught up in

the little things of Christmas,

00:20:55,505 --> 00:20:57,674

like love and family,

that we almost forgot

00:20:57,799 --> 00:21:00,301

it's buying things

that makes our economy thrive.

00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,345

Hey, the shops

are still open.

00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:04,555

We still have time to shop!

00:21:04,681 --> 00:21:05,723

Cool, let's go!

00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:07,100

Yeah, let's go!

00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:14,691

Whoo!

00:21:14,816 --> 00:21:15,858

You did it, Mr. Hankey,

00:21:15,984 --> 00:21:17,277

you brought back

the spirit of Christmas.

00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:19,112

No, you did it, boys.

00:21:19,237 --> 00:21:20,989

Ah, hell,

we all did it.

00:21:21,114 --> 00:21:22,657

Kids, that cartoon

was fabulous.

00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,200

How would you like to

have your own show

00:21:24,325 --> 00:21:25,118

and make 100 more of them?

00:21:25,243 --> 00:21:26,703

Are you kidding?

00:21:26,828 --> 00:21:28,329

I think we'd rather

stab ourselves in the head.

00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:30,206

Yeah, let's just go home

and open our presents.

00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:32,709

Hey, man, if you're Jewish,

you get presents for eight days.

00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:34,335

Wow, count me in!

- Yeah, I'll be a Jew too.

00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:35,586

All: ♪ Dreidel,

dreidel, dreidel ♪

00:21:35,712 --> 00:21:37,297

♪ I made you out of clay ♪

00:21:37,422 --> 00:21:39,882

♪ Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel,

with dreidel I will play ♪

00:21:40,008 --> 00:21:43,720

♪ I'm the poo of the antelope

that flows onto the ground ♪

00:21:43,845 --> 00:21:45,722

♪ Becomes the grass

of tomorrow ♪

00:21:45,847 --> 00:21:47,932

♪ Which the grazers

turn around ♪

00:21:48,057 --> 00:21:50,059

♪ So I'm the leg

of a leopard ♪

00:21:50,184 --> 00:21:51,894

♪ And the wings

of the hen ♪

00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:54,022

♪ Which becomes

dinner for the humans ♪

00:21:54,147 --> 00:21:56,566

♪ And turns back

to poo again ♪