История о мерзком приставании

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♪ Gonna have

myself a time ♪

00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:13,973

♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

00:00:14,098 --> 00:00:15,641

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:17,059

♪ Going down

to South Park ♪

00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:18,894

♪ Gonna leave my

woes behind ♪

00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,604

♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:22,273

♪ People spouting

"howdy neighbor" ♪

00:00:22,398 --> 00:00:23,774

♪ Headed on up

to South Park ♪

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♪ Gonna see if

I can't unwind ♪

00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:30,740

♪ So come on down

to South Park ♪

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♪ And meet some

friends of mine ♪

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Come on, throw

the football, Ike!

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Dude, you're not gonna believe

what Cartman has!

00:00:41,459 --> 00:00:42,501

Hepatitis B?

00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:44,170

No, dickhole.

00:00:44,295 --> 00:00:46,213

Four tickets, 28th row,

for the Raging Pussies.

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You got Raging

Pussies tickets?!

00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:49,884

We're going

tomorrow night.

00:00:50,009 --> 00:00:50,885

Cartman's got the bus

schedule all figured out.

00:00:51,010 --> 00:00:53,262

Hold on,

I'll be right back.

00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:54,930

Mom, Dad!

00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:56,557

Can I go with the guys to see

the Raging Pussies?

00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:58,309

No, Kyle.

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But all the guys

are going!

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Kyle, you're not

old enough.

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And those concerts

are dangerous and vile.

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But Mom, I--

- The answer is no, Kyle!

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Agh!

00:01:06,442 --> 00:01:08,319

My parents said

I can't go.

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Well, of course your parents

said you can't go!

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Dummy! You don't ask

if you can go!

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I'm telling my parents

I'm staying at Stan's house,

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Stan's telling his parent

he's staying at Kenny's house,

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and Kenny's not telling

his parents anything

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'cause they're alcoholics

and they don't care.

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Yeah!

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Oh... well, now

I already told them.

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Well, I guess

you're screwed then.

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No, it's alright.

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Just give me some time

to work on them.

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I'll see you guys later.

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But what if I do a bunch of

chores around the house?

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Come on,

you're being unfair!

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Alright, fine, Kyle,

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You can go to the

Raging Pussies concert

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if you clean out the garage,

shovel the driveway

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and bring

democracy to Cuba!

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What's Cuba?

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A communist country run by a

dictator named Fidel Castro.

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And do I have to shovel

the whole driveway

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or just the side

the car's on?

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The whole thing.

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Oh, geez.

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Dear, Mr. Castro,

my name is Kyle.

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I am an 8-year-old American boy

who lives in South Park.

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... And if I had

just one wish,

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just one wish

in the whole world...

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♪ If I had one wish

it'd be for Cuba to change ♪

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♪ Because I think that

all the Cubans are in pain ♪

00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:11,882

♪ All the joy in the world

from sea to shining sea ♪

00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:16,011

♪ Doesn't mean a thing

if Cubans aren't free ♪

00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:19,557

♪ I just can't be very happy

that's certain ♪

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♪ Not as long as

your Cubans are hurtin' ♪

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♪ Oh, won't you

search your soul ♪

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♪ And find a way

to change your mind ♪

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♪ That is my

one and only wish ♪

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Llamada todos junto!

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Once again this does mark

the end of communism in Cuba!

00:02:37,575 --> 00:02:41,745

Cuban dictator Fidel Castro

claims he was finally convinced

by a young boy's letter.

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Now the country is again open

to American tourism.

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Plans can finally resume for

Knott's Berry Farm, Cuba.

00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:49,086

I did it!

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Now I can go to

the Raging Pussies!

00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:52,631

No, you can't.

- What?

00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:55,634

Kyle, your mother and I

don't want you going to

the Raging Pussies concert.

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We gave you a chore that

we thought was impossible.

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You weren't supposed to

actually do it.

00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:00,931

But I did,

I brought democracy to Cuba.

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We know, Kyle,

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but we just don't want you

going to that concert.

00:03:04,310 --> 00:03:06,228

But that's not fair,

you lied to me!

00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:08,147

Kyle, perhaps we

handled this wrong,

00:03:08,272 --> 00:03:09,607

but you need to

understand that--

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What I understand is that you

totally screwed me over!

00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:13,319

So why should I have to

listen to you?

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Because we're

your parents!

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Well, I wish I didn't

have any parents!

00:03:17,031 --> 00:03:18,365

Kyle!

00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:21,493

It's so unfair!

00:03:21,619 --> 00:03:23,162

How could my parents

do that to me?

00:03:23,287 --> 00:03:24,872

Parents can be pretty cruel

sometimes, dude.

00:03:24,997 --> 00:03:25,664

They get off on it.

00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:27,208

They're evil.

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I wish I didn't

have any parents!

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Well... you could make them

go away for a while.

- How?

00:03:31,754 --> 00:03:33,589

Well, I mean,

you could call the police

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and have them

take your parents away.

00:03:35,341 --> 00:03:36,175

The police?

00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:37,468

Yeah, I saw it on TV.

00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:38,886

All you gotta do is

call the police

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and say that your parents

both "molestered" you.

00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:42,348

What's that?

- I don't know, but it works.

00:03:42,473 --> 00:03:43,933

When I wanted to get rid of

my mom's last boyfriend

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I just called the police,

and said he was molestering me,

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and I haven't seen him

for three months.

00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:48,938

Wow-three months

without parents!

00:03:50,356 --> 00:03:51,732

But what do the police

do to them?

00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:52,983

Who cares?

My parents deserve

whatever they get!

00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:55,069

They're liars

and cheats!

00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:56,570

You have to make it

convincing, though,

when you call the police,

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you have to be like,

"my parents molestered me!"

00:03:58,239 --> 00:03:59,490

My parents molestered me.

00:03:59,615 --> 00:04:00,991

No, but you gotta cry,

like this--

00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:03,661

My parents molestered me.

00:04:03,786 --> 00:04:05,454

And then they'll say

something like, "was it

good touch or bad touch?"

00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,248

And you say,

"it was good touch."

00:04:07,373 --> 00:04:08,791

No, wait,

you say it was bad touch.

00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,334

What's bad touch?

00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:11,335

Something about a swimsuit,

I don't remember.

00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:12,461

But you definitely answer

"bad touch".

00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:13,837

Okay-molestered,

bad touch.

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Yeah, and cry.

00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:18,133

Oh, he's ready.

00:04:23,973 --> 00:04:25,641

Oh my God,

this isn't happening!

00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,893

I would never touch

my children like that!

00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:29,436

You do have the right

to remain silent, ma'am,

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I suggest you

use that right.

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Please,

just listen to me!

00:04:33,649 --> 00:04:35,442

Heh-heh, heh-heh.

00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:37,236

What about

my children?

00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:38,404

Who will take

care of them?

00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:39,822

Oh, now you care?

00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:41,115

They're going to live

with their grandmother.

00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,992

Their grandmother's been

dead for three years!

00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:44,785

You're not

listening to me!

00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:48,247

Kyle, tell these people

that your--

00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:55,129

They'll never be able

to hurt you again.

00:04:55,254 --> 00:04:56,547

Cool, thanks.

00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:59,049

Alright, folks,

our work here is done.

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Alright!

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♪ Just take those old records

off the shelf ♪

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♪ I sit and listen to 'em

by myself ♪

00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:21,363

♪ Today's music ain't

got the same soul ♪

00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:25,492

♪ I like that old time

rock and roll ♪

00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:27,745

♪ Don't try to take me

to a disco... ♪

00:05:27,870 --> 00:05:29,496

Dude, having no parents

is awesome!

00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:31,165

I'm gonna say my parents

molestered me, too!

00:05:31,290 --> 00:05:32,708

Hey, yeah!

00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,376

We should all say our

parents molestered us!

00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,754

Yeah, alright.

Woo-hoo!

00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:40,674

♪ ... I like that

old time rock and roll ♪

00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:44,636

♪ Still like that old time

rock and roll ♪

00:05:44,762 --> 00:05:48,432

♪ That kind of music

just soothes my soul ♪

00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:52,478

♪ I reminisce about

the days of old ♪

00:05:52,603 --> 00:05:56,357

♪ With that old time

rock and roll ♪♪

00:06:08,494 --> 00:06:12,915

The following hot presentation

is for mature audiences only.

00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,792

You guys,

come out here!

00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:17,711

What's going on?

00:06:17,836 --> 00:06:20,297

Notice anything?

00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:22,091

Watch...

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Nothing.

- Yeah, nothing.

00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:29,765

There's not an adult

left in town.

00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,642

They've all been arrested, and

the ones that weren't arrested

00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:33,310

have moved away because they're

scared of being arrested.

00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:36,313

Not one adult left?

00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:39,233

Then it's ours.

00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:42,027

The whole town...

It's ours.

00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:53,664

Oh, sweetie, I have

no idea where we are.

00:06:53,789 --> 00:06:55,833

I haven't seen

a road marker for miles.

00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:57,751

What was the last highway

we were on?

00:06:57,876 --> 00:06:59,711

There has to be a town

around here somewhere.

00:06:59,837 --> 00:07:01,380

Maybe you're reading

the map wrong.

00:07:01,505 --> 00:07:03,340

Hey, it was your idea

to take the back roads!

00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:04,800

What the?

00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:09,054

Oh no...

No, no, no, no.

00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:10,347

What's the matter

with it?

00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:11,890

I have no idea.

00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:13,183

Oh, we're gonna have to

find some help quick.

00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:14,810

We're not gonna make it

more than a couple miles.

00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:17,104

Oh, look,

there's a town up ahead!

00:07:19,022 --> 00:07:20,691

Smiley town?

That's a strange name.

00:07:20,816 --> 00:07:22,151

Well, it'll have to do.

00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:24,736

It's probably the only town

for 100 miles.

00:07:30,701 --> 00:07:34,204

Hello!

Is anybody here?

00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:36,123

Oh, uh--

can I help you folks?

00:07:36,248 --> 00:07:39,501

Yes, we need a mechanic

to look at our car.

00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:42,045

Oh, well, uh...

I'm the mechanic, I guess.

00:07:42,171 --> 00:07:43,547

What seems to be

the problem?

00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:45,924

It's...

Just you here?

00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:47,342

No, Craig's here, too.

00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:48,677

Oh, good.

00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,095

But he's playin'

"spaceman" right now.

00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:51,638

Hey, Craig!

00:07:51,763 --> 00:07:52,806

What?

00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:55,058

Look, we're in a bit

of a spot here.

00:07:55,184 --> 00:07:57,728

I've got a very important

job interview tomorrow

morning in Breckenridge

00:07:57,853 --> 00:07:59,730

so I have to get

my car fixed fast.

00:07:59,855 --> 00:08:00,981

Is there another

garage in town?

00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:02,608

Uhh... No.

00:08:02,733 --> 00:08:04,151

How about a phone,

can we just use the phone?

00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:05,527

Phone here doesn't work.

00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,404

I'm afraid the only phone

that does work...

00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:09,323

Is over in "Treasure Cove".

00:08:09,448 --> 00:08:11,408

Fine, can you

take us there?

00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:13,744

You... Sure you wanna go

to Treasure Cove?

00:08:13,869 --> 00:08:14,786

Yes!

00:08:14,912 --> 00:08:16,246

Oh, really,

are you sure?

00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:17,831

Yes!

00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:20,292

Oh, alright then,

show 'em where it is.

00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:24,755

This is the end of

Smiley Town.

00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,590

The only phone is somewhere

in Treasure Cove.

00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:28,926

If you wanna find it,

you're gonna have to

cross the white line.

00:08:29,051 --> 00:08:30,802

Well, can you help us

find the phone, please?

00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:32,763

Hell no, I'm not

crossing the white line.

00:08:32,888 --> 00:08:34,056

Why not?

00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:35,641

Alright,

let's just go, Linda,

00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:37,184

I don't have time for

"Spaceman Spiff's" little games.

00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:38,435

Craig.

- What?

00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:40,479

It's Spaceman Craig.

00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:57,913

Carousel.

00:09:00,082 --> 00:09:02,751

Nya-nya,

nya-nya-nya!

00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:08,006

Look, there's

an elementary school.

00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:10,801

Come on, there might be

some teachers inside.

00:09:12,678 --> 00:09:14,221

What is that?

00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:15,806

Ahh!

00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:22,938

What do you

want from us?

00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,315

Linda, it's a

remote-controlled car.

00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:29,528

It looks like maybe there's

a little camera on it.

00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:30,988

Mark, I don't like this.

00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:33,907

Relax, Linda,

everything's fine.

00:09:35,284 --> 00:09:36,243

Ow, ow!

00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:37,619

What is it--

acid?

00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:38,829

No, it's lemon juice!

00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:40,330

Oh, God,

are you blind?

00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:42,374

No, it just really,

really, really hurts!

00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:44,835

Mark, Mark, look.

00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:58,140

Well, hello,

what's your name?

00:09:58,265 --> 00:09:59,850

What-what do you want?

00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:01,602

We want to play.

00:10:01,727 --> 00:10:02,936

Mark, I'm scared.

00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:04,521

Don't be scared,

they're just kids.

00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:05,731

Where are

your parents?

00:10:05,856 --> 00:10:07,733

We already played

with our parents.

00:10:07,858 --> 00:10:12,904

Now, we wanna play

with you.

00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:14,740

Okay, I'm scared now, too,

that freaked me out.

00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:17,534

We want to play

with you!

00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:19,161

Get off me!

00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:20,996

Oh God, Mark, help!

00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:25,208

Oh no, they're crossing

the white line!

00:10:25,334 --> 00:10:26,835

Ohhh!

00:10:29,588 --> 00:10:30,672

Spit wads!

00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,174

Take that,

kindergartners!

00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:34,092

Eww, gross!

00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,055

What the hell

is going on here?!

00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:39,890

Kindergartners--

Treasure Cove

is full of them.

00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:42,392

Alright, look kid, we demand

to see an adult this instant.

00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:44,603

I got new orders,

I'm supposed to take you

to see the mayor.

00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:46,980

The mayor, good, finally.

00:10:50,359 --> 00:10:54,613

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Cotner,

won't you come in, please?

00:10:54,738 --> 00:10:57,032

Mr. and Mrs. Cotner,

as the mayor of Smiley Town,

00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,492

I would like to ask you

a few questions.

00:10:58,617 --> 00:10:59,910

You're the mayor?

00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:01,119

What the hell is

going on here?

00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:02,663

Where are

all your parents?

00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:04,081

Parents?

00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:06,708

Ah, you mean

the birth-givers.

00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:07,959

They're not around.

00:11:08,085 --> 00:11:09,544

No parents

in the entire town?

00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:10,879

What happened to them?

00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,339

Okay, see, I'm the mayor

of Smiley Town

00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,132

and so I will ask

the questions around here.

00:11:14,257 --> 00:11:16,134

Look, just point us to

a phone, kid, alright?

00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:18,553

Heh-heh, I'm afraid

you'll find all the phones...

00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:19,638

Quite out of service.

00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:20,639

No phones either?

00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:23,100

How do you

communicate?

00:11:23,225 --> 00:11:26,853

Butters, I need an E.T.A.

on the car, stat.

00:11:30,565 --> 00:11:32,734

Alright, we've had

just about enough here.

00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,569

That's the most ridiculous

thing I've ever seen!

00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:36,488

I don't care what little games

you kids wanna play,

00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:38,657

we just want

out of here, alright?

00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:43,537

It's gonna be

about three days.

00:11:45,122 --> 00:11:46,456

So, it appears

that you need me.

00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:48,542

Which is good, because,

I need you too.

00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:50,377

Ringy-ding?

00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:52,546

I've got the job interview

of my life in Breckenridge.

00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:54,548

Just tell me how to get

a phone or a car!

00:11:54,673 --> 00:11:55,590

Spitball!

00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:57,634

Aah!

00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:59,094

You sons of bitches!

00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:00,429

You see what we're

dealing with here?

00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:01,763

Tonight is "Carousel",

00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:03,557

and they will try to

kill one of us.

00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:06,184

You two seem to have the uncanny

ability to cross the white line.

00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:08,645

If you help us,

we'll get you what you need.

00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:12,899

Mark, are we doing

the right thing?

00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:15,610

Look, if getting this stupid

book will get me a cell phone,

I don't care!

00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:18,071

I just don't know if

you're dealing with these

kids the right way.

00:12:18,196 --> 00:12:20,115

Well, I told you I can't

deal with kids, Linda!

00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,408

That's why I don't

want to have children!

00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:23,910

Hey, I think you'd

make a great father.

00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:25,871

Let's not go through

this again, Linda.

00:12:25,996 --> 00:12:28,540

Look, here's the book

they've been talking about

that makes no sense.

00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:31,084

My God, Mark!

00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:33,128

What is it?

00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:36,047

It's a boy.

00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:39,217

They... killed him.

00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:40,719

The bastards...

00:12:40,844 --> 00:12:41,970

Oh, Mark,

let's get out of here!

00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,346

Nya-nya,

nya-nya-nya!

00:12:43,472 --> 00:12:44,514

Aah!

00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:46,141

Oh, no.

00:12:47,976 --> 00:12:49,019

Mark!

00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:51,354

Uh, the fat kid

told us to take it!

00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:00,947

Wha-ahh!

00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:03,158

Mark, Mark, wake up!

00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,327

Nya-nya, nya-nya,

nya-nya!

00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:07,454

You guys, stop it!

00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:09,873

Sorry about them,

kindergartners

are kinda spazzes.

00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:11,041

Yeah.

00:13:11,166 --> 00:13:12,417

Why are you

doing this?

00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:13,376

How come you wanna

help the fat-ass?

00:13:13,502 --> 00:13:14,211

Who?

00:13:14,336 --> 00:13:15,545

The fat-ass, the mayor.

00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:17,464

Look, I have the

job interview of my life

00:13:17,589 --> 00:13:19,591

in less than...

00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:21,551

12 hours.

00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:23,470

I just need a phone,

and he said he'd help me

if I took your book

00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:25,263

so you couldn't

kill them anymore.

00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:26,848

You got "foolied",

outlander.

00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:28,225

We're the only ones

with a working phone.

00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:29,893

And if you'd

taken our book

00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:31,353

then it's one of us

who dies tonight at Carousel.

00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:32,729

How did this

all happen?

00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:34,439

Why do you children

live in this town alone?

00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:36,024

Because we do.

00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,317

It was like this yesterday

and the day before that.

00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:38,902

But what about

before that?

00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:40,403

You mean

in the before-time?

00:13:40,529 --> 00:13:42,531

In the long, long ago?

- Yes!

00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:43,865

If we tell you, will you

help us stop the fat-ass?

00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:46,201

I'll do anything

to get to a phone.

00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:47,953

Alright,

everybody gather around.

00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:49,913

We're gonna tell the story

of the before-time again!

00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,665

The before-time!

00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:53,333

Story of before-time.

00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:55,126

Way back,

in the long, long ago,

00:13:55,252 --> 00:13:57,087

we all lived by the

birth-givers' laws.

00:13:57,212 --> 00:13:58,797

But the birth-givers

were unfair.

00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:00,131

They made us go to bed early

and eat broccoli.

00:14:00,257 --> 00:14:02,509

Yuck, yuck, yuck!

00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:04,594

And so the fat-ass came up

with a way to have all the

birth-givers disappear,

00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:06,429

by using the magic

"m"-word.

00:14:06,555 --> 00:14:08,139

Mmmmm!

00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:10,141

Soon we were without power,

or water or fresh food,

00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:12,185

but we tried to survive

under the guidance...

00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:14,396

Of the Provider.

00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:17,649

Provider, Provider.

00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:20,318

But the fat-ass and us disagreed

on how to worship the Provider.

00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:22,988

The fat-ass tried to make us

follow his way by making himself

the school principal.

00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:24,865

So we made ourselves the

superintendents of schools.

00:14:24,990 --> 00:14:26,700

But then he just

made himself the mayor.

00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:29,119

The town split sides, and that's

when the Provider got angry.

00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:31,079

Boom! Crash!

00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:33,665

So every night, the Provider

must be appeased at Carousel.

00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,375

We need their book,

so one of ours doesn't die.

00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,919

Carousel, Carousel.

00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:40,338

We all know that one day

the Provider will set us free,

00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:42,299

make everything like it was

in the before-time.

00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:43,884

In the long, long ago.

00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:46,094

Let me

get this straight.

00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,722

If I go get the fat kid's

book on the other side

of the white line

00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:50,557

you'll show me where

a cell phone is?

00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:52,142

Yes, no foolies.

00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:53,935

No foolies.

00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,271

Let's go, it's,

it's right out here.

00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:59,816

Linda, I want you to just

go back to the car and

wait for me, alright.

00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:02,444

I'll go get that fat kid's book

so I can use their phone.

00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:03,945

Mark, I'm scared.

00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,573

I know, but this will

all be over soon.

00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:15,999

Oh, Gerald, I haven't

seen you for so long!

00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:17,208

Hello, honey.

00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,376

How has prison been

for you?

00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:19,753

Oh, it's awful,

just awful!

00:15:19,878 --> 00:15:22,339

Alright, parents,

let's all take our seats.

00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:24,049

My name is Scott Evans,

00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:26,301

and I am a prison

rehabilitation counselor.

00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,761

Excuse me,

but my wife and I

00:15:27,886 --> 00:15:29,512

honestly never touched

our child.

00:15:29,638 --> 00:15:30,722

Neither did we!

00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:31,973

We didn't neither!

00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:33,600

Enough, enough!

00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:35,185

Look, it's obvious we have

a lot of emotional issues

00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:37,312

and personal demons

to face here.

00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:39,356

During your prison time,

you will all be spending

one hour a day

00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:41,733

in therapy

here with me.

00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:45,195

What I want you to do,

is learn to control those sick,

sexual urges you have.

00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,113

Now we're gonna

try an exercise.

00:15:47,238 --> 00:15:50,408

I'm gonna confront you with

what you lust after most.

00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:53,036

Alright, parents, now,

I know this is difficult,

00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:55,830

but I want you to just

look at this child,

00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:58,249

just try to suppress

your urges to molest him.

00:15:58,375 --> 00:16:00,627

Just think about

something else,

00:16:00,752 --> 00:16:03,004

think about clouds

and beaches.

00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,465

Don't think about his supple,

soft, little body.

00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:06,341

Oh, that's disgusting!

00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:07,550

Now stop this!

00:16:07,676 --> 00:16:09,052

Fight your urges,

Mr. Brovlofski!

00:16:09,177 --> 00:16:10,762

I don't have any urges!

00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:12,347

I can't help you if you won't

admit you need help!!

00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,849

Now, sit down!

00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:17,769

Look, I know this is very

difficult for all of you.

00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:19,896

Most of you are still in denial

about what you've done.

00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:21,773

To you, it seems you never molested

your children at all!

00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:23,358

But you did.

00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:26,444

Help me... help you.

00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:27,988

Now let's

try again.

00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:30,281

Look at this young man.

00:16:30,407 --> 00:16:32,242

Just look...

Don't molest.

00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:34,828

Fight it, fight it!

00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:36,287

Oh God, God.

00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:38,456

Please just let us

get out of this place.

00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:41,501

I think I found

the problem, ma'am.

00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,461

Broken window roller-upper.

00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:45,380

Oh no, no!

00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:46,756

Ahh!

00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:50,093

Where is

your husband?

00:16:50,218 --> 00:16:51,177

Uh...

00:16:51,302 --> 00:16:52,804

Seize her!

00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:57,017

Alright,

I got the book for you.

00:16:57,142 --> 00:16:58,268

Awesome!

00:16:58,393 --> 00:16:59,811

Now can I please

have the cell phone?

00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:01,396

Sure, outlander,

I'll get it.

00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:03,189

Outlander!

00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:05,108

Outlander!

00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:07,444

We have your woman!

00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:10,405

She still lives,

outlander!

00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:13,700

Outlander,

her blood will spill!

00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:15,452

What the heck are you

talking about?

00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:18,455

Butters, calm down,

alright.

00:17:18,580 --> 00:17:20,874

Okay, so what are some

other things we can do

00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:24,210

besides molest

our children?

00:17:24,335 --> 00:17:25,920

See a movie?

00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:27,756

Sure, see a movie's good.

00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,174

We could see a movie instead of

molesting our children.

00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:30,425

What else?

00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:31,676

Make a sweater?

00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,803

Uh-huh, I'll put

"knitting/sewing".

00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:35,388

Who's got another one?

00:17:35,513 --> 00:17:36,723

Molest children?

00:17:36,848 --> 00:17:38,308

No, no, we're looking

for things to do

00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:40,018

besides molesting

our children.

00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:41,519

Oh... fishing?

00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:43,229

Fishing's good, uh-huh.

00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:45,356

I believe you have something

of ours, outlander.

00:17:45,482 --> 00:17:46,733

Give it back

or the female gets it!

00:17:46,858 --> 00:17:47,901

Unh!

00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:49,110

Heh-heh.

- Unh!

00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,779

Give him

the book back!

00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,655

No, if they have it

one of ours will die

for Carousel!

00:17:52,781 --> 00:17:53,615

We're running

out of time!

00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:54,866

Hand our book over,

quick!

00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:55,992

Enough of this!

00:17:56,117 --> 00:17:58,244

You kids are all

in big trouble!

00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,420

The Provider awakes;

00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:09,881

it's time for carousel.

00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:11,716

Ha ha, your side doesn't

have its book, fat-ass!

00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:13,426

That means someone on your side

is sacrificed tonight!

00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:14,511

God dammit!

00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:16,763

Alright,

it is decided.

00:18:16,888 --> 00:18:19,015

Butters, your turn.

00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:21,351

Oh, I'm gonna be sacrificed

to the Provider!

00:18:21,476 --> 00:18:22,769

Stop right there!

00:18:22,894 --> 00:18:24,479

Nobody's killing

anybody tonight!

00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,856

Be careful, Mark,

they'll make you disappear

with the "m"-word!

00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:29,984

Yeah, we'll call the police

and say you molestered us too!

00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:32,445

What?

00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:33,613

I'm here for you,

Provider!

00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:34,989

Take me!

00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:36,658

Is that what happened

to the adults here?!

00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,868

You lied to the police

and said they molested you?

00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:42,288

My God, they were

your parents!

00:18:42,413 --> 00:18:43,748

Parents?

00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:45,500

The birth-givers!

00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,418

Your... Birth-givers.

00:18:47,544 --> 00:18:48,920

Don't you remember?

00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:52,048

They are your "Providers"--

not some statue!

00:18:52,173 --> 00:18:55,426

And they're not off in some

fantastical far away land now...

00:18:55,552 --> 00:18:57,262

They're in prison!

00:18:57,387 --> 00:19:00,890

Probably crying themselves

to sleep, cold and lonely and...

00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:04,644

I'm sure, missing you all

very, very much.

00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:09,649

Your birth-givers

took care of you.

00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:12,902

That's what their laws

and their rules were for,

because they love you,

00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:15,697

and they didn't want you to

end up living like, like this.

00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:18,241

He won't take care of you.

00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:23,746

Your parents,

your... Providers, will.

00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:25,415

Parents...

00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:28,334

Mom, Dad.

00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:30,170

Oh boy,

here it comes!

00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:33,131

If you want things to be the way

they were in the before-time,

00:19:33,256 --> 00:19:35,383

in the long, long ago,

00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:39,304

you all need to call the police

and tell them you lied

about the m-word.

00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:41,431

He's right, dude.

00:19:41,556 --> 00:19:43,558

Things were a lot better

with our parents around.

00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,852

Yeah, I guess their rules

did have a point.

00:19:45,977 --> 00:19:48,438

Things have gotten

a lot worse in the 10 days

since they've been gone.

00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:50,273

10 days?

00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:52,192

It's only been 10 days

since they left?

00:19:52,317 --> 00:19:53,610

Take him down.

00:19:53,735 --> 00:19:54,944

Hey, what are you doing?

00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:56,654

I'm ready to give myself

to Mr. Elway!

00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:57,697

Here's our

cell phone, dude,

00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,782

Will you call the

police for us?

00:19:59,908 --> 00:20:02,869

Hey, looks like you're not so

bad with kids after all.

00:20:02,994 --> 00:20:04,537

Yeah, I guess you're right.

00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:05,997

Maybe we should

have some.

00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:07,540

Yeah, right,

after all this?

00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:10,043

I'm getting my

tubes tied tomorrow!

00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:19,093

Come on, you guys, our parents

are gonna be back any minute.

00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:20,845

Do you think they're gonna

be pissed at us for lying

that they molested us

00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:22,680

and sending them all

to jail for 10 days?

00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:23,681

Well, they can't be

too pissed off,

00:20:23,806 --> 00:20:25,266

I mean, we made them

a banner.

00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:26,392

Hey, kids!

00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:27,518

Hey, you guys

came back!

00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:28,436

Did you make it to

your job interview?

00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,313

Yeah, I got the job.

00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:32,482

You're looking at

the new manager of Denny's

in Breckenridge.

00:20:32,607 --> 00:20:34,067

And I got

my tubes tied!

00:20:34,192 --> 00:20:35,485

Alright!

00:20:35,610 --> 00:20:37,028

Well, thanks for

everything, you guys.

00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:38,446

You really helped us see

how important parents are.

00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:39,530

Yeah!

00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:41,491

Hey, here they come!

00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:45,119

Mom, Dad!

00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:46,746

Kids!

00:20:49,123 --> 00:20:50,500

Come here, come here.

00:20:50,625 --> 00:20:53,378

Oh, Kyle,

Ike sweetie, you're okay!

00:20:53,503 --> 00:20:55,338

Yeah, we're fine.

00:20:55,463 --> 00:20:58,091

Kyle, we're so sorry for

the horrible sexual abuse

over the years.

00:20:58,216 --> 00:20:59,676

But we're all

better now.

00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:00,927

But, you didn't

do anything to me.

00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:02,470

Ahp-we did.

00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:03,596

We've come to terms with it

through therapy

00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:04,973

and learned

to admit it.

00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:07,392

It won't happen again!

But, you guys, I--

00:21:07,517 --> 00:21:10,311

Oh, Stanley, I wish

we could take back

all the years of abuse,

00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:11,646

but we can't.

00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,564

We've learned to

overcome it, son,

00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:14,607

you'll see.

00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:16,317

We love you, son,

00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:18,653

but we only love you in

a platonic way, from now on!

00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:20,488

What the heck are you

talking about?

00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,490

Kenny, Kenny,

we're sorry.

00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,075

Where is he?

00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:25,952

Everything's gonna be

alright now, Jenny.

00:21:26,077 --> 00:21:28,538

Come on, let's go home.

00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:30,957

Huh.

Huh.

00:21:31,082 --> 00:21:32,667

Well, what are you kids

gonna do now?

00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:33,876

I dunno.

00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:35,169

You guys wanna go

build a snow igloo?

00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:36,170

Sure.

00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:38,089

Snow igloos

kick ass.

00:00:35,225 --> 00:00:37,066

Давай, Айк, бросай мне мяч!

00:00:39,725 --> 00:00:41,066

Чувак, ты не поверишь, что есть у Картмэна!

00:00:41,085 --> 00:00:42,066

Гепатит Б?

00:00:42,075 --> 00:00:46,066

Нет, дырка ты в жопе. 4 билета

на концерт "Raging Pussies"! 28-ой ряд!

00:00:46,945 --> 00:00:48,025

У тебя билеты на "Raging Pussies"?

00:00:48,045 --> 00:00:50,325

Ага, мы завтра ночью идём

на концерт! Картмэн уже всё устроил!

00:00:50,345 --> 00:00:52,025

Я со своими договорюсь.

Подождите, сейчас приду!

00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:57,225

Мам, пап, могу я пойти завтра

вечером на концерт "Raging Pussies"?

00:00:57,425 --> 00:00:58,025

Нет, Кайл.

00:00:58,175 --> 00:00:59,425

Но все ребята туда идут!

00:00:59,575 --> 00:01:02,525

Кайл, ты ещё слишком мал. А эти

концерты такие опасные и жестокие!

00:01:02,825 --> 00:01:03,425

Но мам, я...

00:01:03,475 --> 00:01:04,625

Мы сказали "нет", Кайл!

00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:08,325

Мои родители не разрешили мне идти.

00:01:09,025 --> 00:01:10,875

Конечно не разрешили!

Нам всем не разрешили!

00:01:10,975 --> 00:01:12,875

Чёрт, нафиг ты их вообще спрашивал?

00:01:12,925 --> 00:01:15,875

Я сказал маме, что буду ночевать у Стэна.

Стэн сказал, что будет ночевать у Кенни.

00:01:15,925 --> 00:01:19,325

А Кенни своим ничего не говорил,

потому что им вообще на него насрать!

00:01:19,425 --> 00:01:19,725

Ага!

00:01:20,625 --> 00:01:21,925

Но я всегда говорю

своим родителям, куда иду.

00:01:22,025 --> 00:01:22,925

А, ну, тогда отдыхай.

00:01:23,225 --> 00:01:25,625

Нет, дайте мне немного времени!

Я с ними ещё раз поговорю! Увидимся позже!

00:01:28,625 --> 00:01:31,825

А что, если я сделаю работу по дому?

Ну давайте же, не жидитесь!

00:01:31,975 --> 00:01:38,725

Ну хорошо! Если уберёшься в гараже,

очистишь от снега дорогу,

а также принесёшь демократию на Кубу,

можешь идти на свой концерт.

00:01:39,025 --> 00:01:39,725

А что такое Куба?

00:01:39,825 --> 00:01:42,225

Это коммунистическая страна, во главе

которой стоит диктатор Фидель Кастро.

00:01:42,975 --> 00:01:44,925

А я должен очистить от снега всю дорогу

или только ту часть, где у нас машина стоит?

00:01:45,025 --> 00:01:46,025

Всю.

00:01:46,125 --> 00:01:47,725

Чёрт!

00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:55,025

Уважаемый мистер Кастро.

Меня зовут Кайл.

Я восьмилетний мальчик из маленького

американского городка Саут Парк.

00:01:56,575 --> 00:02:00,575

И есть у меня одна мечта.

Всего одна мечта, и я больше всего

в мире хочу, чтобы она осуществилась:

00:02:00,725 --> 00:02:07,925

Я хочу, чтобы Куба изменилась. Чтобы она

стала свободной страной. Мне кажется,

что кубинцы несчастны в закрытой стране.

00:02:08,025 --> 00:02:15,725

Куба должна быть единой со всем миром,

а не сама по себе. Я хочу, чтобы народ

Кубы стал свободным.

00:02:15,825 --> 00:02:21,925

Я хочу, чтобы все люди

на Кубе были счастливы.

Освободите Кубу, я знаю,

что у вас доброе сердце.

00:02:22,025 --> 00:02:26,925

Я плачу, когда думаю о том, что люди Кубы

несвободны. Дайте свободу вашей стране.

00:02:27,025 --> 00:02:31,725

Вот и вся моя мечта.

Как я хочу, чтобы она осуществилась,

чтобы люди Кубы стали свободными.

00:02:33,675 --> 00:02:40,925

Мы повторяем, что коммунизму на Кубе

пришёл конец. Кубинский диктатор

Фидель Кастро заявил, что всё это произошло

благодаря письму маленького мальчика.

00:02:41,025 --> 00:02:46,925

Теперь эта страна вновь открыта

для американского туризма.

Наконец-то мы вновь

посетим ягодные фермы Кубы!

00:02:47,725 --> 00:02:49,925

Да! Я сделал это! Теперь я пойду на концерт!

00:02:50,125 --> 00:02:51,725

Нет, не пойдешь!

00:02:52,025 --> 00:02:52,425

Что?

00:02:52,725 --> 00:02:58,525

Кайл, мы не хотим, чтобы ты шёл

на этот концерт. Мы дали тебе задание,

которое невозможно было выполнить.

Ты просто не мог это сделать!

00:02:58,625 --> 00:03:00,925

Но я сделал это!

Я принёс демократию на Кубу!

00:03:01,225 --> 00:03:04,025

Мы знаем, Кайл, но мы не хотим,

чтобы ты ходил на этот концерт.

00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:06,025

Но это же нечестно! Вы мне соврали!

00:03:06,225 --> 00:03:09,425

Кайл, возможно, мы были неправы.

Но ты должен понять, что...

00:03:09,525 --> 00:03:13,025

Я понимаю только то, что вы наврали

мне, обвели меня вокруг пальца!

Почему я должен вас слушать?

00:03:13,225 --> 00:03:14,625

Потому, что мы - твои родители!

00:03:14,825 --> 00:03:16,525

Да лучше бы у меня вообще не было родителей!

00:03:20,525 --> 00:03:23,025

Это нечестно! Как родители

могли со мной так поступить?

00:03:23,225 --> 00:03:24,625

Да, чувак. Родители порой

могут быть жестокими.

00:03:24,825 --> 00:03:28,025

Жестокими!? Да они - само зло!

Я хотел бы, чтоб у меня вообще

родителей не было!

00:03:28,035 --> 00:03:30,525

Ну, ты можешь сделать так, чтобы

они исчезли на некоторое время.

00:03:30,725 --> 00:03:31,425

Как?

00:03:31,825 --> 00:03:34,725

Ну точнее, ты мог бы позвонить

в полицию, и они об этом позаботятся.

00:03:34,925 --> 00:03:35,325

Позвонить в полицию?

00:03:35,425 --> 00:03:39,325

Ну да. Как в телевизоре. Всё что надо,

это позвонить в полицию и сказать,

что родители домогаются до тебя.

00:03:40,225 --> 00:03:40,725

А что это такое?

00:03:40,925 --> 00:03:45,025

Не знаю, но это работает.

Когда я захотел избавиться от маминого

ухажёра, то позвонил в полицию

00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:46,725

и сказал, что тот домогается до меня.

Его забрали на три месяца!

00:03:47,525 --> 00:03:48,825

Ух ты! Три месяца без родителей!

00:03:50,025 --> 00:03:51,425

А что с ними делают в полиции?

00:03:51,525 --> 00:03:53,825

А нам не все равно? Они это заслужили!

Нефига им было врать мне!

00:03:54,225 --> 00:03:58,625

Однако, ты должен быть убедительным

для полиции, так что говори таким голосом:

"Мои родители домогаются до меня".

00:03:58,825 --> 00:03:59,525

Мои родители домогаются до меня.

00:03:59,825 --> 00:04:04,025

Нет, не так, говори плачущим голосом:

"Мои родители домогаются до меня".

00:04:04,225 --> 00:04:08,825

И потом они спросят что-то типа

"сильно ли тебя щупали". А ты говори, слабо.

Не-не, говори, что сильно!

00:04:08,975 --> 00:04:09,725

А что это значит?

00:04:09,925 --> 00:04:12,125

Точно не знаю.

Но всё равно говори, что сильно!

00:04:12,425 --> 00:04:13,525

Так, всё понятно: "домогаются, сильно".

00:04:13,675 --> 00:04:14,425

Ага, и плачь побольше.

00:04:16,225 --> 00:04:17,325

Так, он готов.

00:04:23,525 --> 00:04:27,725

О, Господи! Что вы делаете!

Я никогда не щупала своего сына!

00:04:27,825 --> 00:04:30,725

У вас есть право молчать, и я

советую Вам, мадам, его использовать.

00:04:31,725 --> 00:04:33,825

Пожалуйста, выслушайте меня!

00:04:34,925 --> 00:04:37,725

А что будет с моими детьми?

Кто о них будет заботиться?

00:04:38,225 --> 00:04:40,725

Уж точно не вы!

Они отправятся к своей бабушке.

00:04:41,025 --> 00:04:46,825

Их бабушка умерла три года назад!

Выслушайте меня! Кайл, скажи

этим людям, что я...

00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:53,925

Больше вас никто не обидит.

00:04:55,125 --> 00:04:56,025

Клёво. Спасибо.

00:04:56,225 --> 00:04:58,825

Всё, парни! Наша работа здесь завершена!

00:05:02,225 --> 00:05:03,825

Зашибись!

00:05:22,225 --> 00:05:24,225

Сегодня ночью. Вечеринка у Кайла!

00:05:27,225 --> 00:05:31,625

Чувак, когда нет родителей - это клёво!

Надо сказать, что мои родители тоже ко

мне домогаются!

00:05:31,925 --> 00:05:34,725

Точно! Мы все должны сказать,

что родители к нам домогаются!

00:06:09,025 --> 00:06:13,025

А сейчас новый фильм! Только для взрослых!

00:06:13,225 --> 00:06:14,325

Мужики, идите за мной!

00:06:16,025 --> 00:06:16,525

Ну, что такое?

00:06:17,225 --> 00:06:18,725

Вы что-нибудь слышите?

00:06:20,425 --> 00:06:21,225

Смотрите.

00:06:26,225 --> 00:06:29,425

Ничего. Да ничего. В городе

не осталось ни одного взрослого!

00:06:29,525 --> 00:06:32,525

Всех их арестовали.

А те, кого арестовать не успели,

смылись из города, боясь, что их поймают.

00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:34,725

И теперь, когда никого нет.

00:06:35,925 --> 00:06:37,825

Он наш...

00:06:39,125 --> 00:06:41,825

Весь город наш!

00:06:51,075 --> 00:06:53,375

Дорогой, я ума не могу

приложить, где это мы едем.

00:06:53,475 --> 00:06:57,275

Я уже где-то несколько миль

не вижу никаких указателей.

По какому шоссе мы ехали последний раз?

00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:59,975

Но здесь должен быть небольшой городок.

00:07:00,075 --> 00:07:01,375

А может, ты карту просто перевернуть забыла?

00:07:01,475 --> 00:07:03,875

Это ведь ты хотел поехать "коротким путём".

00:07:03,885 --> 00:07:05,875

Чё за х...

00:07:06,775 --> 00:07:08,875

О нет. Нет, нет, нет.

00:07:08,975 --> 00:07:10,875

Что это такое?

00:07:10,975 --> 00:07:14,875

Понятия не имею. Так, мы должны

срочно где-нибудь найти мастерскую.

Машина много не протянет.

00:07:14,975 --> 00:07:17,775

О, смотри! Впереди город!

00:07:18,675 --> 00:07:20,775

"Смайли Таун". Странное название.

00:07:20,975 --> 00:07:23,775

Нам всё равно. Возможно, это

единственный город поблизости.

00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:32,575

Эй! Привет! Тут кто-нибудь есть?

00:07:33,575 --> 00:07:36,075

Ээээ. Ну... Могу я вам помочь?

00:07:36,375 --> 00:07:39,075

Да. Нам нужен механик,

чтоб он проверил нашу машину.

00:07:39,175 --> 00:07:44,075

Ээээ. Ну я механик, вроде.

Что у вас за проблема?

00:07:44,675 --> 00:07:45,275

Тут только ты, что ли?

00:07:45,675 --> 00:07:47,275

Нет. Здесь есть ещё Крэг.

00:07:47,375 --> 00:07:47,875

Ну, отлично.

00:07:47,975 --> 00:07:51,375

Но он сейчас играет в космонавтов. Эй, Крэг!

00:07:52,375 --> 00:07:52,675

Чё?

00:07:52,775 --> 00:08:01,075

Слушайте, я тут с вами играться не буду.

У меня завтра утром очень важное

собеседование. Мне надо быстро починить

машину и уезжать отсюда.

В городе есть еще гараж?

00:08:01,175 --> 00:08:01,975

Эээ. Нет.

00:08:02,075 --> 00:08:04,175

А телефон?

Мы можем воспользоваться телефоном?

00:08:04,375 --> 00:08:09,175

Эээ. Телефон не работает. Я боюсь,

что единственный работающий телефон

в городе... есть в пещере сокровищ.

00:08:09,675 --> 00:08:11,375

Отлично! Вы можете отвести нас туда?

00:08:11,475 --> 00:08:14,175

Чё? Вы хотите пойти в пещеру сокровищ??

00:08:14,275 --> 00:08:14,875

Да.

00:08:14,885 --> 00:08:16,075

Правда?! А вы уверены?

00:08:16,175 --> 00:08:16,775

Да!

00:08:17,075 --> 00:08:19,475

Ээээ. Ну ладно. Покажи им дорогу.

00:08:22,475 --> 00:08:28,675

Это конец Смайли Тауна.

Если вы хотите найти пещеру сокровищ,

вы должны перейти через белую линию.

00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:30,875

А ты можешь помочь нам найти телефон?

00:08:30,975 --> 00:08:32,875

Нифига! Я не буду пересекать белую линию!

00:08:32,975 --> 00:08:36,875

Но, почему? Линда, успокойся.

Найдём сами. У меня нет времени

на глупые игры в космонавтов.

00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:39,875

- Крэг.

- Что?

- Я - космонавт Крэг.

00:09:05,575 --> 00:09:06,675

Смотри! Вон там. Начальная школа!

00:09:06,875 --> 00:09:07,675

"Пищера сакровищ".

00:09:07,875 --> 00:09:10,675

Пойдем туда. Там внутри наверняка

должны быть какие-то учителя.

00:09:11,875 --> 00:09:13,375

Что это?

00:09:20,675 --> 00:09:22,575

Что ты хочешь от нас?!

00:09:22,675 --> 00:09:25,575

Линда, это радиоуправляемая машина.

00:09:26,875 --> 00:09:32,775

- Похоже, там какая-то маленькая камера.

- Марк, мне это всё не нравится.

- Линда, успокойся, всё в порядке.

00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:42,175

- Что это?! Кислота?!?!

- Нет, лимонный сок.

- О, Боже, ты ослеп?!

- Нет, но щиплет сильно!

00:09:54,175 --> 00:09:55,675

Привет, как тебя зовут?

00:09:58,675 --> 00:09:59,375

Что вы хотите?

00:10:00,075 --> 00:10:01,375

Мы хотим играть.

00:10:01,475 --> 00:10:05,575

- Марк, мне страшно.

- Да не бойся ты. Это всего

лишь дети. Где ваши родители?

00:10:05,675 --> 00:10:10,875

- Мы с ними уже поиграли.

- Теперь мы хотим поиграть с вами.

00:10:12,275 --> 00:10:14,475

Ну вот, теперь мне тоже страшно.

00:10:14,575 --> 00:10:17,075

Мы хотим поиграть с вами!

00:10:18,075 --> 00:10:20,275

- Слезьте с меня!

- О, Господи, Марк, помоги!

00:10:22,075 --> 00:10:24,975

О, нет! Они пересекают белую линию!

00:10:29,375 --> 00:10:31,675

Стреляй в них!

Ну как, нравится, детсадовцы?

00:10:35,775 --> 00:10:39,975

- Что здесь, чёрт возьми происходит?

- Это детсадовцы, пещера сокровищ кишит ими!

00:10:40,075 --> 00:10:43,975

- Мы хотим поговорить с кем-нибудь

из взрослых в этом городе!

- У меня новый приказ:

я должен отвести вас к мэру.

00:10:44,075 --> 00:10:46,475

Мэр? Ну наконец-то!

00:10:50,675 --> 00:10:53,975

Здравствуйте, уважаемые мистер и

миссис Картнер, проходите, пожалуйста!

00:10:54,275 --> 00:10:58,875

Мистер и миссис Картнер,

как мэр Смайли Тауна, я должен

задать вам несколько вопросов.

00:10:58,975 --> 00:11:02,575

Вы - мэр? Какого чёрта здесь

происходит? Где все ваши родители?

00:11:03,075 --> 00:11:07,575

Родители???...

А! Вы имеете ввиду дающих

рождение? Их здесь нет.

00:11:07,675 --> 00:11:10,575

В городе совсем нет родителей?

А что с ними случилось?

00:11:10,675 --> 00:11:13,575

Эээ. Слушайте, вообще-то я здесь мэр.

Поэтому вопросы задаю я.

00:11:13,775 --> 00:11:16,075

Послушай, мальчик. Просто дай нам

воспользоваться телефоном, и всё.

00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:19,075

Ха! Те телефоны, которые

здесь есть - они не работают.

00:11:19,175 --> 00:11:22,075

Что?! У вас нет работающих телефонов?

Как же вы поддерживаете связь друг с другом?

00:11:24,075 --> 00:11:26,075

Баттерс, сколько времени займёт

починка машины этих людей?

00:11:30,075 --> 00:11:35,275

Так! Не, это уже слишком!

Это самая смешная вещь,

которую я когда-либо видел!

00:11:35,375 --> 00:11:38,075

Я не знаю, в какие игры вы тут играете,

нам просто нужно побыстрее уехать отсюда!

00:11:41,175 --> 00:11:42,375

Эээ.. Ну, где-то три дня.

00:11:43,975 --> 00:11:49,075

Так, надеюсь вы поняли, что я вам нужен.

Это хорошо, так как вы нужны мне... Печенья?

00:11:50,075 --> 00:11:54,375

Я ДОЛЖЕН получить эту работу.

У меня намечается собеседование.

Скажи, как мы можем

достать телефон или машину!

00:11:54,475 --> 00:11:55,175

Ком из бумаги!!!!

00:11:57,575 --> 00:11:58,675

Вы, сукины дети!!!

00:11:59,175 --> 00:12:04,575

Не, вы видели? Сегодня день Карусели.

И они попытаются убить одного из нас.

00:12:04,675 --> 00:12:08,675

Вы наделены сверхъестественной

способностью пересекать белую линию.

Если вы поможете нам, мы поможем вам.

00:12:10,675 --> 00:12:14,675

- Марк, ты уверен, что мы поступаем правильно?

- Послушай, мы должны достать их чёртову книгу

и получить телефон! Остальное меня не волнует.

00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:21,275

- А может, мы поступаем неправильно,

что помогаем этим детям?

- Я никогда не умел ладить с детьми,

поэтому я не хочу их заводить.

00:12:21,285 --> 00:12:28,075

- Марк, я думаю, что ты бы

стал отличным отцом!

- Не сейчас, Линда. А вот и книга,

которую мы должны принести.

00:12:28,275 --> 00:12:29,275

О, Боже, Марк!

00:12:31,575 --> 00:12:38,275

- Что это??

- Не что, а кто. Это мальчик. Они убили его!

00:12:38,875 --> 00:12:39,975

Сволочи.

00:12:40,175 --> 00:12:42,475

Марк, давай пойдём отсюда.

00:12:45,075 --> 00:12:45,675

О, нет!

00:12:47,775 --> 00:12:51,075

- Марк!

- Ээээ. Это толстый мальчик

велел нам взять книгу.

00:12:59,675 --> 00:13:01,875

Марк! Марк, посмотри!

00:13:05,175 --> 00:13:06,375

Ребята, остановитесь!

00:13:08,075 --> 00:13:11,175

- Извините нас за это?

Детсадовцы - отличные убийцы.

- Ага!

00:13:11,185 --> 00:13:12,175

Зачем вы это делаете?

00:13:12,275 --> 00:13:15,175

- Как вы могли помогать жирной жопе?

- Кому???

- Жирной жопе. Ну, мэру.

00:13:15,275 --> 00:13:20,775

Так, послушаете: меня ждёт собеседование

по новой работе. У меня осталось 12 часов,

00:13:20,785 --> 00:13:25,775

а он сказал, что если я достану

ему книгу, вы не сможете их больше

убивать, а он поможет мне.

00:13:25,875 --> 00:13:30,775

Вы - дураки! У нас есть единственный

работающий телефон, но если вы у нас

заберёте книги, один из нас сегодня умрёт.

00:13:30,875 --> 00:13:34,775

Как это вообще получилось?

Дети, почему вы живёте в этом городе одни?

00:13:34,875 --> 00:13:37,775

Потому что... так было

вчера и за день до этого...

00:13:37,875 --> 00:13:38,775

Но что было до этого?

00:13:38,875 --> 00:13:41,775

Вы имеете в виду прошлые дни,

дни, которые были давным-давно?

00:13:41,875 --> 00:13:43,775

- Да, именно!

- Если мы вам расскажем, вы поможете

нам победить жирную жопу?

00:13:43,875 --> 00:13:45,975

Я сделаю всё, чтобы

получить доступ к телефону!

00:13:45,985 --> 00:13:49,675

Ну, хорошо. Эй, все сюда!

Мы будем рассказывать историю

о прошлом времени еще раз!

00:13:52,675 --> 00:13:59,875

Итак, мы переносимся в те далёкие времена,

когда мы ещё жили с дающими рождение.

Но они были лгунами! Они заставляли нас

рано ложиться спать и есть брокколи.

00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:06,675

И жирная жопа сделал так, чтобы все

они исчезли. Используя магическое слово.

00:14:07,675 --> 00:14:13,675

Вскоре мы остались без электричества,

воды и еды, но мы выжили

благодаря покровительству Защитника.

00:14:13,775 --> 00:14:16,675

Защитник. Защитник.

00:14:16,975 --> 00:14:22,675

Но наши с жирной жопой пути поклонения

Защитнику не совпали. Он хотел,

чтобы мы сделали его директором школы.

00:14:22,775 --> 00:14:28,675

Но мы сами захватили школу, а он

сделал себя мэром. Город разделился

на две части, это разозлило Защитника.

00:14:31,175 --> 00:14:35,675

И теперь каждую ночь мы должны задабривать

Защитника. Та сторона, у которой

есть книги спасения, может этого не делать.

00:14:37,675 --> 00:14:43,675

Но мы верим, что когда-нибудь

Защитник смилуется и вернёт всё

как было раньше, как было давным-давно.

00:14:43,775 --> 00:14:50,675

Так, то есть, если я возьму

у толстого мальчика его книгу и отдам

её вам, то вы дадите мне телефон?

00:14:50,775 --> 00:14:52,075

Именно так. Бля буду!

00:14:52,085 --> 00:14:53,675

Бля будем!

00:14:57,075 --> 00:15:03,075

Итак, Линда, иди к машине и жди меня там,

а я пойду найду книгу толстого мальчика

и получу наконец-то телефон.

00:15:03,175 --> 00:15:06,075

- Марк, я боюсь!

- Не бойся, скоро всё это закончится.

00:15:13,075 --> 00:15:16,275

О, Джеральд, я так долго тебя не видела!

00:15:16,375 --> 00:15:19,275

- Привет, дорогая! Ну, и как тебе тюрьма?

- О, ужасно!

00:15:19,575 --> 00:15:21,975

Так, родители, занимаем свои места.

00:15:22,675 --> 00:15:25,975

Меня зовут Скотт Эванс,

я заведующий отделением реабилитации.

00:15:26,075 --> 00:15:29,975

Извините, но мы никогда не домогались

до нашего ребёнка, честно!

00:15:30,075 --> 00:15:32,175

- Мы тоже!

- И мы!

00:15:32,275 --> 00:15:37,175

Так, достаточно! Ну, конечно вы

не домогались до ваших детей,

они просто позвонили нам, чтобы

избавиться от вас. Ага, конечно.

00:15:37,275 --> 00:15:45,175

Итак, один час в день вы будете заниматься

терапией со мной. Всё что я хочу,

это - научить вас контролировать

ваши желания устраивать оргии с детьми.

00:15:45,475 --> 00:15:50,175

А теперь - упражнение.

Вы столкнётесь с объектом вашего вожделения.

00:15:51,175 --> 00:15:58,175

Итак, родители, я понимаю,

что это трудно, но я хочу, чтобы вы

ПРОСТО ПОСМОТРЕЛИ на этого ребенка

и попытались сдержать ваш сексуальный порыв.

00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:05,175

Попробуйте подумать о чём-нибудь

хорошем: об облаках, о пляжах.

Не думайте о его нежной коже и гибком теле.

00:16:05,185 --> 00:16:07,175

Остановитесь! Это херня какая-то!

00:16:07,275 --> 00:16:10,375

- Спокойно, мистер Брофловски,

контролируйте свои педофильные позывы.

- Да нет у меня никаких

педофильных наклонностей!!!

00:16:10,475 --> 00:16:13,475

Я не смогу помочь Вам, если Вы

будете вести себя как сбрендивший,

бешенный еврей!! Так что, сядьте.

00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:22,675

Послушайте, я понимаю, что это трудно,

вы все считаете, что у вас не было

никаких оргий с детьми. Но они были.

00:16:23,475 --> 00:16:25,175

Поможете мне - поможете себе.

00:16:26,675 --> 00:16:33,175

Так, попробуем ещё раз.

Посмотрите на этого мальчика.

Только посмотрите, не пытайтесь

домогаться. Боритесь. Боритесь!!

00:16:35,175 --> 00:16:38,175

О, Боже, пожалуйста,

просто дай нам уйти отсюда.

00:16:40,175 --> 00:16:43,175

Ээээ. Мэм, мне кажется, я выявил проблему

- у вас просто была сломана оконная ручка.

00:16:43,675 --> 00:16:44,675

О, нет, нет!

00:16:47,775 --> 00:16:49,675

Так, а где ваш муж?

00:16:50,475 --> 00:16:51,675

Взять её!!

00:16:55,175 --> 00:16:57,875

- Так, я достал вам книгу.

- Зашибись!

00:16:57,975 --> 00:17:01,075

- Я бы хотел наконец-то получить телефон.

- Не вопрос, незнакомец! Сейчас принесу.

00:17:01,375 --> 00:17:02,875

Мужик! Эй, мужик!

00:17:03,675 --> 00:17:06,875

Мужик, у нас твоя женщина!

00:17:07,875 --> 00:17:09,875

Пока что она жива, мужик!

00:17:11,175 --> 00:17:13,875

Мужик, месть будет ужасна!

00:17:14,275 --> 00:17:16,075

Ээээ. А о чём вообще речь??

00:17:16,085 --> 00:17:18,875

Баттерс, слушай, заткнись, ладно?

00:17:18,885 --> 00:17:23,075

Итак, что ещё мы можем делать

в свободное время, кроме того,

чтобы домогаться до своих детей?

00:17:24,375 --> 00:17:30,175

- Смотреть кино?

- Отлично! Мы можем смотреть кино

вместо приставания к детям, что ещё?

00:17:30,875 --> 00:17:34,875

- Вязать свитер?

- Так, шить / вязать. Что-нибудь ещё?

00:17:35,275 --> 00:17:39,975

- Домогаться до детей?

- Нет, нет, мы ищем другие

занятия, кроме домоганий к детям.

00:17:40,175 --> 00:17:43,175

- А... Рыбачить?

- Отлично! Ходить на рыбалку.

00:17:43,375 --> 00:17:47,175

Ты взял кое-что наше!

Верни книгу, бл., или ей будет плохо!

00:17:48,775 --> 00:17:52,475

- Отдайте ему книгу!

- Нет! Если мы сделаем это, то нам

придётся приносить кого-то в жертву!

00:17:52,575 --> 00:17:55,075

Мать вашу! У меня мало времени.

Гоните книгу! Быстро!

00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:57,275

Так, хватит! Дети, у вас у всех

будут большие проблемы!

00:18:06,675 --> 00:18:09,675

- Защитник ожил!

- Время приносить жертву.

00:18:09,775 --> 00:18:13,575

Ха-ха! А тебя нет книги, жиробас,

так что ты будешь приносить жертву!

00:18:13,675 --> 00:18:17,675

Вашу мать! Ну ладно. Такова воля

сверху. Баттерс, это будешь ты!

00:18:18,475 --> 00:18:21,175

Оооо. Я буду принесён

в жертву великому Защитнику!

00:18:21,275 --> 00:18:26,775

- Так, хватит! Никто этой ночью не умрёт!

- Дорогой, будь осторожен, иначе ты можешь

исчезнуть, если они скажут магическое слово!

00:18:26,975 --> 00:18:29,475

- Точно! Мы позвоним в полицию и скажем,

что вы тоже к нам домогаетесь!

00:18:29,875 --> 00:18:30,175

Что!?

00:18:32,175 --> 00:18:34,875

Я здесь, Защитник! Возьми меня к себе!

00:18:35,175 --> 00:18:38,875

Так вот что случилось? Вы звонили в полицию

и лгали, что родители домогаются до вас?

00:18:38,975 --> 00:18:41,675

Так вот кто они! Они - ваши родители!

00:18:42,875 --> 00:18:43,275

Родители?

00:18:43,775 --> 00:18:52,175

Дающие рождение! Родители - это ваши дающие

рождение! Неужели вы не помните? Это ваши

Защитники! Они, а не каменная статуя!

00:18:52,275 --> 00:19:03,975

И никто не исчез из-за магического слова.

Они просто в тюрьме. Возможно, им сейчас

очень-очень плохо, они плачут, они не могут

спать и есть, потому что очень скучают по вам.

00:19:06,675 --> 00:19:12,075

Ваши дающие рождение, конечно,

могут быть строгими, они могут

сердиться на своих детей, но это

всё потому, что они их очень любят!

00:19:12,085 --> 00:19:15,275

Вы им не безразличны, поэтому

они не позволяют вам делать то,

что считают опасным! И они

не хотят, чтоб вы жили, как сейчас.

00:19:15,375 --> 00:19:21,975

Он не заботится о вас. Ваши родители

заботятся о вас. Они - ваши Защитники!

00:19:25,075 --> 00:19:27,675

Родители. Мама! Папа!

00:19:28,175 --> 00:19:29,675

Ооо. Начинается!

00:19:29,875 --> 00:19:35,675

Если вы хотите, чтоб всё стало также,

как раньше, как было давным-давно,

00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:39,675

то вы должны позвонить в полицию и сказать,

что вы солгали, говоря про домогательства.

00:19:40,675 --> 00:19:43,675

Чуваки, а он прав! Всё было

лучше, когда рядом были родители.

00:19:43,775 --> 00:19:48,675

Да. Иногда в их правилах есть смысл.

Все стало ещё хуже за те десять дней,

пока не было родителей.

00:19:48,875 --> 00:19:51,675

Десять дней?!

Вы живёте без родителей всего десять дней?!

00:19:52,175 --> 00:19:53,175

Снимайте его!

00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:56,175

Эй! Что вы делаете? Я готов

принести себя в жертву мистеру Элвею!

00:19:56,675 --> 00:19:59,075

Вот работающий телефон. Может,

вы заодно и в полицию позвоните?

00:19:59,975 --> 00:20:02,875

Смотри-ка, а ты, оказывается,

не так уж и плохо ладишь с детьми!

00:20:03,075 --> 00:20:05,875

Да, ты права.

Может, нам стоит завести немного.

00:20:05,975 --> 00:20:09,875

Ну, наконец-то!

Завтра будем этим заниматься!

00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:17,600

ДОБРО ПОЖАЛОВАТЬ ДОМОЙ, РОДИТЕЛИ!

00:20:17,700 --> 00:20:19,400

Давайте, чуваки, родители

могут приехать в любую минуту!

00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:23,200

А ты не думаешь, что они могут злиться

на нас за то, что мы наврали в полицию,

и их забрали в тюрьму на десять дней?

00:20:23,210 --> 00:20:25,200

Не. Как только они увидят

наш плакат, то сразу подобреют.

00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:26,300

Привет, дети!

00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:29,200

- О, вы вернулись!

- Ну как, вы получили работу,

о которой так мечтали?

00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:34,300

- О, да! Я получил работу!

Перед вами новый главный менеджер

корпорации Денни из Брэкинриджа!

- И мы зачали ребёнка!

00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,300

Клёво!

00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:39,300

Спасибо вам! Вы показали нам,

как важно иметь родителей.

00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:40,800

Эй! А вот и они!

00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:45,100

Мама! Папа!

00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:46,400

Дети!

00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:54,800

- О, Кайл, Айк, сладенькие мои!

С вами всё в порядке!

- Да, мам, мы в порядке!

00:20:54,900 --> 00:20:59,800

Сынок, нам так жаль, что мы устраивали

с тобой зверские сексуальные оргии!

00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:04,700

- Но вы же ничего плохого не делали!

- Нет, сынок, мы ходили на исправительную

терапию и поняли, что делали!

00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:06,400

Но мы никогда этого не будем больше делать!

00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:11,700

- Но, вы же.

- О, Стэнли, извини нас за всё то,

что мы делали с тобой все эти годы.

00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,800

Ты увидишь, сынок,

мы научились преодолевать желание.

00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:18,800

Мы любим тебя, сын! Но мы любим тебя

только родительской любовью и никакой иначе!

00:21:18,900 --> 00:21:20,800

Ээээ. А о чём это вы?

00:21:20,900 --> 00:21:23,800

Кенни! Кенни! Извини нас,

пожалуйста! Ну, где же он?

00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:27,800

Дженни, теперь всё будет

хорошо! Пойдём домой.

00:21:31,300 --> 00:21:33,300

Ну что, ребят, что будете делать теперь?

00:21:33,350 --> 00:21:37,250

- Не знаю.

- А давайте строить иглу??!

- Да, иглу рулят!

00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,000

Надеюсь, вам понравилось:)

00:21:41,010 --> 00:21:43,010

Я - не Гоблин, так что перевод не ахти.

00:21:43,020 --> 00:21:45,020

Но я старался. Очень:)

00:21:45,030 --> 00:21:48,030

Михаил aka RaMoS

scias@rol.ru

00:00:10,553 --> 00:00:12,096

♪ Gonna have

myself a time ♪

00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:13,973

♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

00:00:14,098 --> 00:00:15,641

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:17,059

♪ Going down

to South Park ♪

00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:18,894

♪ Gonna leave my

woes behind ♪

00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,604

♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:22,273

♪ People spouting

"howdy neighbor" ♪

00:00:22,398 --> 00:00:23,774

♪ Headed on up

to South Park ♪

00:00:23,899 --> 00:00:25,609

♪ Gonna see if

I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,735 --> 00:00:28,946

♪ [Mumbling] ♪

00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:30,740

♪ So come on down

to South Park ♪

00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:32,199

♪ And meet some

friends of mine ♪

00:00:34,076 --> 00:00:36,412

Come on, throw

the football, Ike!

00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:39,457

[babbles]

00:00:39,582 --> 00:00:41,333

Dude, you're not gonna believe

what Cartman has!

00:00:41,459 --> 00:00:42,501

Hepatitis B?

00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:44,170

No, dickhole.

00:00:44,295 --> 00:00:46,213

Four tickets, 28th row,

for the Raging Pussies.

00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:48,132

You got Raging

Pussies tickets?!

00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:49,884

We're going

tomorrow night.

00:00:50,009 --> 00:00:50,885

Cartman's got the bus

schedule all figured out.

00:00:51,010 --> 00:00:53,262

Hold on,

I'll be right back.

00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:54,930

Mom, Dad!

00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:56,557

Can I go with the guys to see

the Raging Pussies?

00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:58,309

No, Kyle.

00:00:58,434 --> 00:00:59,810

But all the guys

are going!

00:00:59,935 --> 00:01:01,145

Kyle, you're not

old enough.

00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:02,980

And those concerts

are dangerous and vile.

00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:04,648

But Mom, I--

- The answer is no, Kyle!

00:01:04,774 --> 00:01:06,317

Agh!

00:01:06,442 --> 00:01:08,319

My parents said

I can't go.

00:01:08,444 --> 00:01:10,780

Well, of course your parents

said you can't go!

00:01:10,905 --> 00:01:12,782

Dummy! You don't ask

if you can go!

00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:14,909

I'm telling my parents

I'm staying at Stan's house,

00:01:15,034 --> 00:01:16,285

Stan's telling his parent

he's staying at Kenny's house,

00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:17,870

and Kenny's not telling

his parents anything

00:01:17,995 --> 00:01:19,371

'cause they're alcoholics

and they don't care.

00:01:19,497 --> 00:01:20,539

Yeah!

00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:22,041

Oh... well, now

I already told them.

00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:23,250

Well, I guess

you're screwed then.

00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:24,502

No, it's alright.

00:01:24,627 --> 00:01:25,503

Just give me some time

to work on them.

00:01:25,628 --> 00:01:27,254

I'll see you guys later.

00:01:29,507 --> 00:01:30,841

But what if I do a bunch of

chores around the house?

00:01:30,966 --> 00:01:32,093

Come on,

you're being unfair!

00:01:32,218 --> 00:01:33,344

Alright, fine, Kyle,

00:01:33,469 --> 00:01:34,929

You can go to the

Raging Pussies concert

00:01:35,054 --> 00:01:36,514

if you clean out the garage,

shovel the driveway

00:01:36,639 --> 00:01:38,390

and bring

democracy to Cuba!

00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:40,392

What's Cuba?

00:01:40,518 --> 00:01:42,478

A communist country run by a

dictator named Fidel Castro.

00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,063

And do I have to shovel

the whole driveway

00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:45,648

or just the side

the car's on?

00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:46,482

The whole thing.

00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,734

Oh, geez.

00:01:48,859 --> 00:01:51,946

Dear, Mr. Castro,

my name is Kyle.

00:01:52,071 --> 00:01:55,699

I am an 8-year-old American boy

who lives in South Park.

00:01:57,743 --> 00:01:59,203

... And if I had

just one wish,

00:01:59,328 --> 00:02:00,913

just one wish

in the whole world...

00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:04,500

♪ If I had one wish

it'd be for Cuba to change ♪

00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:07,586

♪ Because I think that

all the Cubans are in pain ♪

00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:11,882

♪ All the joy in the world

from sea to shining sea ♪

00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:16,011

♪ Doesn't mean a thing

if Cubans aren't free ♪

00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:19,557

♪ I just can't be very happy

that's certain ♪

00:02:19,682 --> 00:02:22,810

♪ Not as long as

your Cubans are hurtin' ♪

00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:24,645

♪ Oh, won't you

search your soul ♪

00:02:24,770 --> 00:02:27,273

♪ And find a way

to change your mind ♪

00:02:27,398 --> 00:02:31,694

♪ That is my

one and only wish ♪

00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:34,071

Llamada todos junto!

00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:37,449

[TV]

Once again this does mark

the end of communism in Cuba!

00:02:37,575 --> 00:02:41,745

Cuban dictator Fidel Castro

claims he was finally convinced

by a young boy's letter.

00:02:41,871 --> 00:02:44,582

Now the country is again open

to American tourism.

00:02:44,707 --> 00:02:47,668

Plans can finally resume for

Knott's Berry Farm, Cuba.

00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:49,086

I did it!

00:02:49,211 --> 00:02:50,254

Now I can go to

the Raging Pussies!

00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:52,631

No, you can't.

- What?

00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:55,634

Kyle, your mother and I

don't want you going to

the Raging Pussies concert.

00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:57,303

We gave you a chore that

we thought was impossible.

00:02:57,428 --> 00:02:59,221

You weren't supposed to

actually do it.

00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:00,931

But I did,

I brought democracy to Cuba.

00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:02,391

We know, Kyle,

00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,185

but we just don't want you

going to that concert.

00:03:04,310 --> 00:03:06,228

But that's not fair,

you lied to me!

00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:08,147

Kyle, perhaps we

handled this wrong,

00:03:08,272 --> 00:03:09,607

but you need to

understand that--

00:03:09,732 --> 00:03:11,775

What I understand is that you

totally screwed me over!

00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:13,319

So why should I have to

listen to you?

00:03:13,444 --> 00:03:14,987

Because we're

your parents!

00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,906

Well, I wish I didn't

have any parents!

00:03:17,031 --> 00:03:18,365

Kyle!

00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:21,493

It's so unfair!

00:03:21,619 --> 00:03:23,162

How could my parents

do that to me?

00:03:23,287 --> 00:03:24,872

Parents can be pretty cruel

sometimes, dude.

00:03:24,997 --> 00:03:25,664

They get off on it.

00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:27,208

They're evil.

00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:28,918

I wish I didn't

have any parents!

00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:31,629

Well... you could make them

go away for a while.

- How?

00:03:31,754 --> 00:03:33,589

Well, I mean,

you could call the police

00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,216

and have them

take your parents away.

00:03:35,341 --> 00:03:36,175

The police?

00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:37,468

Yeah, I saw it on TV.

00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:38,886

All you gotta do is

call the police

00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:40,346

and say that your parents

both "molestered" you.

00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:42,348

What's that?

- I don't know, but it works.

00:03:42,473 --> 00:03:43,933

When I wanted to get rid of

my mom's last boyfriend

00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:45,351

I just called the police,

and said he was molestering me,

00:03:45,476 --> 00:03:47,186

and I haven't seen him

for three months.

00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:48,938

Wow-three months

without parents!

00:03:49,063 --> 00:03:50,231

[excited mumble]

00:03:50,356 --> 00:03:51,732

But what do the police

do to them?

00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:52,983

Who cares?

My parents deserve

whatever they get!

00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:55,069

They're liars

and cheats!

00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:56,570

You have to make it

convincing, though,

when you call the police,

00:03:56,695 --> 00:03:58,113

you have to be like,

"my parents molestered me!"

00:03:58,239 --> 00:03:59,490

My parents molestered me.

00:03:59,615 --> 00:04:00,991

No, but you gotta cry,

like this--

00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:03,661

[whimpering]

My parents molestered me.

00:04:03,786 --> 00:04:05,454

And then they'll say

something like, "was it

good touch or bad touch?"

00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,248

And you say,

"it was good touch."

00:04:07,373 --> 00:04:08,791

No, wait,

you say it was bad touch.

00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,334

What's bad touch?

00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:11,335

Something about a swimsuit,

I don't remember.

00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:12,461

But you definitely answer

"bad touch".

00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:13,837

Okay-molestered,

bad touch.

00:04:13,963 --> 00:04:14,797

Yeah, and cry.

00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:15,881

[wailing cry]

00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:18,133

Oh, he's ready.

00:04:23,973 --> 00:04:25,641

Oh my God,

this isn't happening!

00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,893

I would never touch

my children like that!

00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:29,436

You do have the right

to remain silent, ma'am,

00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:31,021

I suggest you

use that right.

00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:33,524

Please,

just listen to me!

00:04:33,649 --> 00:04:35,442

Heh-heh, heh-heh.

00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:37,236

What about

my children?

00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:38,404

Who will take

care of them?

00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:39,822

Oh, now you care?

00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:41,115

They're going to live

with their grandmother.

00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,992

Their grandmother's been

dead for three years!

00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:44,785

You're not

listening to me!

00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:48,247

Kyle, tell these people

that your--

00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:55,129

They'll never be able

to hurt you again.

00:04:55,254 --> 00:04:56,547

Cool, thanks.

00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:59,049

Alright, folks,

our work here is done.

00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:04,388

Alright!

00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:07,391

[opening to Bob Seger's

"Old Time Rock and Roll"]

00:05:10,144 --> 00:05:13,647

♪ Just take those old records

off the shelf ♪

00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:17,693

♪ I sit and listen to 'em

by myself ♪

00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:21,363

♪ Today's music ain't

got the same soul ♪

00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:25,492

♪ I like that old time

rock and roll ♪

00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:27,745

♪ Don't try to take me

to a disco... ♪

00:05:27,870 --> 00:05:29,496

Dude, having no parents

is awesome!

00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:31,165

I'm gonna say my parents

molestered me, too!

00:05:31,290 --> 00:05:32,708

Hey, yeah!

00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,376

We should all say our

parents molestered us!

00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,754

Yeah, alright.

Woo-hoo!

00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:40,674

♪ ... I like that

old time rock and roll ♪

00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:44,636

♪ Still like that old time

rock and roll ♪

00:05:44,762 --> 00:05:48,432

♪ That kind of music

just soothes my soul ♪

00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:52,478

♪ I reminisce about

the days of old ♪

00:05:52,603 --> 00:05:56,357

♪ With that old time

rock and roll ♪♪

00:06:08,494 --> 00:06:12,915

[lascivious male voice]

The following hot presentation

is for mature audiences only.

00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,792

You guys,

come out here!

00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:17,711

What's going on?

00:06:17,836 --> 00:06:20,297

Notice anything?

00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:22,091

Watch...

00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:25,052

[glass shatters]

00:06:25,177 --> 00:06:28,055

Nothing.

- Yeah, nothing.

00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:29,765

There's not an adult

left in town.

00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,642

They've all been arrested, and

the ones that weren't arrested

00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:33,310

have moved away because they're

scared of being arrested.

00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:36,313

Not one adult left?

00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:39,233

Then it's ours.

00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:42,027

The whole town...

It's ours.

00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:53,664

Oh, sweetie, I have

no idea where we are.

00:06:53,789 --> 00:06:55,833

I haven't seen

a road marker for miles.

00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:57,751

What was the last highway

we were on?

00:06:57,876 --> 00:06:59,711

There has to be a town

around here somewhere.

00:06:59,837 --> 00:07:01,380

Maybe you're reading

the map wrong.

00:07:01,505 --> 00:07:03,340

Hey, it was your idea

to take the back roads!

00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:04,800

What the?

00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,802

[engine sputtering]

00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:09,054

Oh no...

No, no, no, no.

00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:10,347

What's the matter

with it?

00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:11,890

I have no idea.

00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:13,183

Oh, we're gonna have to

find some help quick.

00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:14,810

We're not gonna make it

more than a couple miles.

00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:17,104

Oh, look,

there's a town up ahead!

00:07:19,022 --> 00:07:20,691

Smiley town?

That's a strange name.

00:07:20,816 --> 00:07:22,151

Well, it'll have to do.

00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:24,736

It's probably the only town

for 100 miles.

00:07:30,701 --> 00:07:34,204

Hello!

Is anybody here?

00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:36,123

Oh, uh--

can I help you folks?

00:07:36,248 --> 00:07:39,501

Yes, we need a mechanic

to look at our car.

00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:42,045

Oh, well, uh...

I'm the mechanic, I guess.

00:07:42,171 --> 00:07:43,547

What seems to be

the problem?

00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:45,924

It's...

Just you here?

00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:47,342

No, Craig's here, too.

00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:48,677

Oh, good.

00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,095

But he's playin'

"spaceman" right now.

00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:51,638

Hey, Craig!

00:07:51,763 --> 00:07:52,806

What?

00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:55,058

Look, we're in a bit

of a spot here.

00:07:55,184 --> 00:07:57,728

I've got a very important

job interview tomorrow

morning in Breckenridge

00:07:57,853 --> 00:07:59,730

so I have to get

my car fixed fast.

00:07:59,855 --> 00:08:00,981

Is there another

garage in town?

00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:02,608

Uhh... No.

00:08:02,733 --> 00:08:04,151

How about a phone,

can we just use the phone?

00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:05,527

Phone here doesn't work.

00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,404

I'm afraid the only phone

that does work...

00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:09,323

Is over in "Treasure Cove".

00:08:09,448 --> 00:08:11,408

Fine, can you

take us there?

00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:13,744

You... Sure you wanna go

to Treasure Cove?

00:08:13,869 --> 00:08:14,786

Yes!

00:08:14,912 --> 00:08:16,246

Oh, really,

are you sure?

00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:17,831

Yes!

00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:20,292

Oh, alright then,

show 'em where it is.

00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:24,755

This is the end of

Smiley Town.

00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,590

The only phone is somewhere

in Treasure Cove.

00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:28,926

If you wanna find it,

you're gonna have to

cross the white line.

00:08:29,051 --> 00:08:30,802

Well, can you help us

find the phone, please?

00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:32,763

Hell no, I'm not

crossing the white line.

00:08:32,888 --> 00:08:34,056

Why not?

00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:35,641

Alright,

let's just go, Linda,

00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:37,184

I don't have time for

"Spaceman Spiff's" little games.

00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:38,435

Craig.

- What?

00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:40,479

It's Spaceman Craig.

00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,898

[breathing sounds]

00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:57,913

[children]

Carousel.

00:09:00,082 --> 00:09:02,751

Nya-nya,

nya-nya-nya!

00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,336

[clang]

00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:08,006

Look, there's

an elementary school.

00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:10,801

Come on, there might be

some teachers inside.

00:09:12,678 --> 00:09:14,221

What is that?

00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:15,806

Ahh!

00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:22,938

What do you

want from us?

00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,315

Linda, it's a

remote-controlled car.

00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:29,528

It looks like maybe there's

a little camera on it.

00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:30,988

Mark, I don't like this.

00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:33,907

Relax, Linda,

everything's fine.

00:09:35,284 --> 00:09:36,243

Ow, ow!

00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:37,619

What is it--

acid?

00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:38,829

No, it's lemon juice!

00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:40,330

Oh, God,

are you blind?

00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:42,374

No, it just really,

really, really hurts!

00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:44,835

Mark, Mark, look.

00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:58,140

Well, hello,

what's your name?

00:09:58,265 --> 00:09:59,850

What-what do you want?

00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:01,602

We want to play.

00:10:01,727 --> 00:10:02,936

Mark, I'm scared.

00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:04,521

Don't be scared,

they're just kids.

00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:05,731

Where are

your parents?

00:10:05,856 --> 00:10:07,733

We already played

with our parents.

00:10:07,858 --> 00:10:12,904

Now, we wanna play

with you.

00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:14,740

Okay, I'm scared now, too,

that freaked me out.

00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:17,534

We want to play

with you!

00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:19,161

Get off me!

00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:20,996

Oh God, Mark, help!

00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:25,208

Oh no, they're crossing

the white line!

00:10:25,334 --> 00:10:26,835

Ohhh!

00:10:29,588 --> 00:10:30,672

Spit wads!

00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,174

Take that,

kindergartners!

00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:34,092

Eww, gross!

00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,055

What the hell

is going on here?!

00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:39,890

Kindergartners--

Treasure Cove

is full of them.

00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:42,392

Alright, look kid, we demand

to see an adult this instant.

00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:44,603

I got new orders,

I'm supposed to take you

to see the mayor.

00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:46,980

The mayor, good, finally.

00:10:50,359 --> 00:10:54,613

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Cotner,

won't you come in, please?

00:10:54,738 --> 00:10:57,032

Mr. and Mrs. Cotner,

as the mayor of Smiley Town,

00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,492

I would like to ask you

a few questions.

00:10:58,617 --> 00:10:59,910

You're the mayor?

00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:01,119

What the hell is

going on here?

00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:02,663

Where are

all your parents?

00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:04,081

Parents?

00:11:04,206 --> 00:11:05,207

[whispers]

00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:06,708

Ah, you mean

the birth-givers.

00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:07,959

They're not around.

00:11:08,085 --> 00:11:09,544

No parents

in the entire town?

00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:10,879

What happened to them?

00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,339

Okay, see, I'm the mayor

of Smiley Town

00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,132

and so I will ask

the questions around here.

00:11:14,257 --> 00:11:16,134

Look, just point us to

a phone, kid, alright?

00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:18,553

Heh-heh, I'm afraid

you'll find all the phones...

00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:19,638

Quite out of service.

00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:20,639

No phones either?

00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:23,100

How do you

communicate?

00:11:23,225 --> 00:11:26,853

Butters, I need an E.T.A.

on the car, stat.

00:11:30,565 --> 00:11:32,734

Alright, we've had

just about enough here.

00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,569

That's the most ridiculous

thing I've ever seen!

00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:36,488

I don't care what little games

you kids wanna play,

00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:38,657

we just want

out of here, alright?

00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:43,537

[Butters]

It's gonna be

about three days.

00:11:45,122 --> 00:11:46,456

So, it appears

that you need me.

00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:48,542

Which is good, because,

I need you too.

00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:50,377

Ringy-ding?

00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:52,546

I've got the job interview

of my life in Breckenridge.

00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:54,548

Just tell me how to get

a phone or a car!

00:11:54,673 --> 00:11:55,590

Spitball!

00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:57,634

Aah!

00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:59,094

You sons of bitches!

00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:00,429

You see what we're

dealing with here?

00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:01,763

Tonight is "Carousel",

00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:03,557

and they will try to

kill one of us.

00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:06,184

You two seem to have the uncanny

ability to cross the white line.

00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:08,645

If you help us,

we'll get you what you need.

00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:12,899

Mark, are we doing

the right thing?

00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:15,610

Look, if getting this stupid

book will get me a cell phone,

I don't care!

00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:18,071

I just don't know if

you're dealing with these

kids the right way.

00:12:18,196 --> 00:12:20,115

Well, I told you I can't

deal with kids, Linda!

00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,408

That's why I don't

want to have children!

00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:23,910

Hey, I think you'd

make a great father.

00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:25,871

Let's not go through

this again, Linda.

00:12:25,996 --> 00:12:28,540

Look, here's the book

they've been talking about

that makes no sense.

00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:31,084

My God, Mark!

00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:33,128

What is it?

00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:36,047

It's a boy.

00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:39,217

They... killed him.

00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:40,719

The bastards...

00:12:40,844 --> 00:12:41,970

Oh, Mark,

let's get out of here!

00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,346

Nya-nya,

nya-nya-nya!

00:12:43,472 --> 00:12:44,514

Aah!

00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:46,141

Oh, no.

00:12:47,976 --> 00:12:49,019

Mark!

00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:51,354

Uh, the fat kid

told us to take it!

00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,023

[screaming war cries]

00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:00,947

Wha-ahh!

00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:03,158

Mark, Mark, wake up!

00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,327

Nya-nya, nya-nya,

nya-nya!

00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:07,454

[Stan]

You guys, stop it!

00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:09,873

Sorry about them,

kindergartners

are kinda spazzes.

00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:11,041

Yeah.

00:13:11,166 --> 00:13:12,417

Why are you

doing this?

00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:13,376

How come you wanna

help the fat-ass?

00:13:13,502 --> 00:13:14,211

Who?

00:13:14,336 --> 00:13:15,545

The fat-ass, the mayor.

00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:17,464

Look, I have the

job interview of my life

00:13:17,589 --> 00:13:19,591

in less than...

[straining]

00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:21,551

12 hours.

00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:23,470

I just need a phone,

and he said he'd help me

if I took your book

00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:25,263

so you couldn't

kill them anymore.

00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:26,848

You got "foolied",

outlander.

00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:28,225

We're the only ones

with a working phone.

00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:29,893

And if you'd

taken our book

00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:31,353

then it's one of us

who dies tonight at Carousel.

00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:32,729

How did this

all happen?

00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:34,439

Why do you children

live in this town alone?

00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:36,024

Because we do.

00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,317

It was like this yesterday

and the day before that.

00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:38,902

But what about

before that?

00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:40,403

You mean

in the before-time?

00:13:40,529 --> 00:13:42,531

In the long, long ago?

- Yes!

00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:43,865

If we tell you, will you

help us stop the fat-ass?

00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:46,201

I'll do anything

to get to a phone.

00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:47,953

Alright,

everybody gather around.

00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:49,913

We're gonna tell the story

of the before-time again!

00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,665

The before-time!

00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:53,333

Story of before-time.

00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:55,126

Way back,

in the long, long ago,

00:13:55,252 --> 00:13:57,087

we all lived by the

birth-givers' laws.

00:13:57,212 --> 00:13:58,797

But the birth-givers

were unfair.

00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:00,131

They made us go to bed early

and eat broccoli.

00:14:00,257 --> 00:14:02,509

Yuck, yuck, yuck!

00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:04,594

And so the fat-ass came up

with a way to have all the

birth-givers disappear,

00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:06,429

by using the magic

"m"-word.

00:14:06,555 --> 00:14:08,139

Mmmmm!

00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:10,141

Soon we were without power,

or water or fresh food,

00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:12,185

but we tried to survive

under the guidance...

00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:14,396

Of the Provider.

00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:17,649

Provider, Provider.

00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:20,318

But the fat-ass and us disagreed

on how to worship the Provider.

00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:22,988

The fat-ass tried to make us

follow his way by making himself

the school principal.

00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:24,865

So we made ourselves the

superintendents of schools.

00:14:24,990 --> 00:14:26,700

But then he just

made himself the mayor.

00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:29,119

The town split sides, and that's

when the Provider got angry.

00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:31,079

Boom! Crash!

00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:33,665

So every night, the Provider

must be appeased at Carousel.

00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,375

We need their book,

so one of ours doesn't die.

00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,919

Carousel, Carousel.

00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:40,338

We all know that one day

the Provider will set us free,

00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:42,299

make everything like it was

in the before-time.

00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:43,884

In the long, long ago.

00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:46,094

Let me

get this straight.

00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,722

If I go get the fat kid's

book on the other side

of the white line

00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:50,557

you'll show me where

a cell phone is?

00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:52,142

Yes, no foolies.

00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:53,935

No foolies.

00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,271

[Mark]

Let's go, it's,

it's right out here.

00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:59,816

Linda, I want you to just

go back to the car and

wait for me, alright.

00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:02,444

I'll go get that fat kid's book

so I can use their phone.

00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:03,945

Mark, I'm scared.

00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,573

I know, but this will

all be over soon.

00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:15,999

Oh, Gerald, I haven't

seen you for so long!

00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:17,208

Hello, honey.

00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,376

How has prison been

for you?

00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:19,753

Oh, it's awful,

just awful!

00:15:19,878 --> 00:15:22,339

Alright, parents,

let's all take our seats.

00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:24,049

My name is Scott Evans,

00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:26,301

and I am a prison

rehabilitation counselor.

00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,761

Excuse me,

but my wife and I

00:15:27,886 --> 00:15:29,512

honestly never touched

our child.

00:15:29,638 --> 00:15:30,722

Neither did we!

00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:31,973

We didn't neither!

00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:33,600

Enough, enough!

00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:35,185

Look, it's obvious we have

a lot of emotional issues

00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:37,312

and personal demons

to face here.

00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:39,356

During your prison time,

you will all be spending

one hour a day

00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:41,733

in therapy

here with me.

00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:45,195

What I want you to do,

is learn to control those sick,

sexual urges you have.

00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,113

Now we're gonna

try an exercise.

00:15:47,238 --> 00:15:50,408

I'm gonna confront you with

what you lust after most.

00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:53,036

Alright, parents, now,

I know this is difficult,

00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:55,830

but I want you to just

look at this child,

00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:58,249

just try to suppress

your urges to molest him.

00:15:58,375 --> 00:16:00,627

Just think about

something else,

00:16:00,752 --> 00:16:03,004

think about clouds

and beaches.

00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,465

Don't think about his supple,

soft, little body.

00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:06,341

Oh, that's disgusting!

00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:07,550

Now stop this!

00:16:07,676 --> 00:16:09,052

Fight your urges,

Mr. Brovlofski!

00:16:09,177 --> 00:16:10,762

I don't have any urges!

00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:12,347

I can't help you if you won't

admit you need help!!

00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,849

Now, sit down!

00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:17,769

Look, I know this is very

difficult for all of you.

00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:19,896

Most of you are still in denial

about what you've done.

00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:21,773

To you, it seems you never molested

your children at all!

00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:23,358

But you did.

00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:26,444

Help me... help you.

00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:27,988

Now let's

try again.

00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:30,281

Look at this young man.

00:16:30,407 --> 00:16:32,242

Just look...

Don't molest.

00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:34,828

Fight it, fight it!

00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:36,287

Oh God, God.

00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:38,456

Please just let us

get out of this place.

00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:41,501

I think I found

the problem, ma'am.

00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,461

Broken window roller-upper.

00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:45,380

Oh no, no!

00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:46,756

Ahh!

00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:50,093

Where is

your husband?

00:16:50,218 --> 00:16:51,177

Uh...

00:16:51,302 --> 00:16:52,804

Seize her!

00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:57,017

Alright,

I got the book for you.

00:16:57,142 --> 00:16:58,268

Awesome!

00:16:58,393 --> 00:16:59,811

Now can I please

have the cell phone?

00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:01,396

Sure, outlander,

I'll get it.

00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:03,189

[Cartman]

Outlander!

00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:05,108

Outlander!

00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:07,444

We have your woman!

00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:10,405

She still lives,

outlander!

00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:13,700

Outlander,

her blood will spill!

00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:15,452

What the heck are you

talking about?

00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:18,455

Butters, calm down,

alright.

00:17:18,580 --> 00:17:20,874

Okay, so what are some

other things we can do

00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:24,210

besides molest

our children?

00:17:24,335 --> 00:17:25,920

See a movie?

00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:27,756

Sure, see a movie's good.

00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,174

We could see a movie instead of

molesting our children.

00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:30,425

What else?

00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:31,676

Make a sweater?

00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,803

Uh-huh, I'll put

"knitting/sewing".

00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:35,388

Who's got another one?

00:17:35,513 --> 00:17:36,723

Molest children?

00:17:36,848 --> 00:17:38,308

No, no, we're looking

for things to do

00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:40,018

besides molesting

our children.

00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:41,519

Oh... fishing?

00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:43,229

Fishing's good, uh-huh.

00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:45,356

I believe you have something

of ours, outlander.

00:17:45,482 --> 00:17:46,733

Give it back

or the female gets it!

00:17:46,858 --> 00:17:47,901

[bzzt]

Unh!

00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:49,110

Heh-heh.

- Unh!

00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,779

Give him

the book back!

00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,655

No, if they have it

one of ours will die

for Carousel!

00:17:52,781 --> 00:17:53,615

We're running

out of time!

00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:54,866

Hand our book over,

quick!

00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:55,992

Enough of this!

00:17:56,117 --> 00:17:58,244

You kids are all

in big trouble!

00:17:58,369 --> 00:18:00,497

[bell tolls]

00:18:02,874 --> 00:18:05,460

[electric crackling]

00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,420

The Provider awakes;

00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:09,881

it's time for carousel.

00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:11,716

Ha ha, your side doesn't

have its book, fat-ass!

00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:13,426

That means someone on your side

is sacrificed tonight!

00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:14,511

God dammit!

00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:16,763

Alright,

it is decided.

00:18:16,888 --> 00:18:19,015

Butters, your turn.

00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:21,351

Oh, I'm gonna be sacrificed

to the Provider!

00:18:21,476 --> 00:18:22,769

Stop right there!

00:18:22,894 --> 00:18:24,479

Nobody's killing

anybody tonight!

00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,856

Be careful, Mark,

they'll make you disappear

with the "m"-word!

00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:29,984

Yeah, we'll call the police

and say you molestered us too!

00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:32,445

What?

00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:33,613

I'm here for you,

Provider!

00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:34,989

Take me!

00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:36,658

Is that what happened

to the adults here?!

00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,868

You lied to the police

and said they molested you?

00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:42,288

My God, they were

your parents!

00:18:42,413 --> 00:18:43,748

Parents?

00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:45,500

The birth-givers!

00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,418

Your... Birth-givers.

00:18:47,544 --> 00:18:48,920

Don't you remember?

00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:52,048

They are your "Providers"--

not some statue!

00:18:52,173 --> 00:18:55,426

And they're not off in some

fantastical far away land now...

00:18:55,552 --> 00:18:57,262

They're in prison!

00:18:57,387 --> 00:19:00,890

Probably crying themselves

to sleep, cold and lonely and...

00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:04,644

I'm sure, missing you all

very, very much.

00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:09,649

Your birth-givers

took care of you.

00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:12,902

That's what their laws

and their rules were for,

because they love you,

00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:15,697

and they didn't want you to

end up living like, like this.

00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:18,241

He won't take care of you.

00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:23,746

Your parents,

your... Providers, will.

00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:25,415

Parents...

00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:28,334

Mom, Dad.

00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:30,170

Oh boy,

here it comes!

00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:33,131

If you want things to be the way

they were in the before-time,

00:19:33,256 --> 00:19:35,383

in the long, long ago,

00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:39,304

you all need to call the police

and tell them you lied

about the m-word.

00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:41,431

He's right, dude.

00:19:41,556 --> 00:19:43,558

Things were a lot better

with our parents around.

00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,852

Yeah, I guess their rules

did have a point.

00:19:45,977 --> 00:19:48,438

Things have gotten

a lot worse in the 10 days

since they've been gone.

00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:50,273

10 days?

00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:52,192

It's only been 10 days

since they left?

00:19:52,317 --> 00:19:53,610

[Cartman]

Take him down.

00:19:53,735 --> 00:19:54,944

Hey, what are you doing?

00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:56,654

I'm ready to give myself

to Mr. Elway!

00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:57,697

Here's our

cell phone, dude,

00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,782

Will you call the

police for us?

00:19:59,908 --> 00:20:02,869

Hey, looks like you're not so

bad with kids after all.

00:20:02,994 --> 00:20:04,537

Yeah, I guess you're right.

00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:05,997

Maybe we should

have some.

00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:07,540

Yeah, right,

after all this?

00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:10,043

I'm getting my

tubes tied tomorrow!

00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:19,093

Come on, you guys, our parents

are gonna be back any minute.

00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:20,845

Do you think they're gonna

be pissed at us for lying

that they molested us

00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:22,680

and sending them all

to jail for 10 days?

00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:23,681

Well, they can't be

too pissed off,

00:20:23,806 --> 00:20:25,266

I mean, we made them

a banner.

00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:26,392

Hey, kids!

00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:27,518

Hey, you guys

came back!

00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:28,436

Did you make it to

your job interview?

00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,313

Yeah, I got the job.

00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:32,482

You're looking at

the new manager of Denny's

in Breckenridge.

00:20:32,607 --> 00:20:34,067

And I got

my tubes tied!

00:20:34,192 --> 00:20:35,485

Alright!

00:20:35,610 --> 00:20:37,028

Well, thanks for

everything, you guys.

00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:38,446

You really helped us see

how important parents are.

00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:39,530

Yeah!

00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:41,491

Hey, here they come!

00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:45,119

Mom, Dad!

00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:46,746

Kids!

00:20:49,123 --> 00:20:50,500

Come here, come here.

00:20:50,625 --> 00:20:53,378

Oh, Kyle,

Ike sweetie, you're okay!

00:20:53,503 --> 00:20:55,338

Yeah, we're fine.

00:20:55,463 --> 00:20:58,091

Kyle, we're so sorry for

the horrible sexual abuse

over the years.

00:20:58,216 --> 00:20:59,676

But we're all

better now.

00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:00,927

But, you didn't

do anything to me.

00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:02,470

Ahp-we did.

00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:03,596

We've come to terms with it

through therapy

00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:04,973

and learned

to admit it.

00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:07,392

It won't happen again!

But, you guys, I--

00:21:07,517 --> 00:21:10,311

Oh, Stanley, I wish

we could take back

all the years of abuse,

00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:11,646

but we can't.

00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,564

We've learned to

overcome it, son,

00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:14,607

you'll see.

00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:16,317

We love you, son,

00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:18,653

but we only love you in

a platonic way, from now on!

00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:20,488

What the heck are you

talking about?

00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,490

Kenny, Kenny,

we're sorry.

00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,075

Where is he?

00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:25,952

Everything's gonna be

alright now, Jenny.

00:21:26,077 --> 00:21:28,538

Come on, let's go home.

00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:30,957

Huh.

Huh.

00:21:31,082 --> 00:21:32,667

Well, what are you kids

gonna do now?

00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:33,876

I dunno.

00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:35,169

You guys wanna go

build a snow igloo?

00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:36,170

Sure.

00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:38,089

Snow igloos

kick ass.