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Лагерь для толстяков
Fat Camp
Сезон: 04Серия: 15
Описание
Картмана отправляют в лагерь для потери веса. Кенни становится необычайно популярен, делая гадкие вещи за деньги.
Субтитры
- 00:00:08,592 --> 00:00:10,136 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:10,261 --> 00:00:12,096 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:13,889 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:14,015 --> 00:00:15,349 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:16,642 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,686 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,811 --> 00:00:20,396 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,189 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
- 00:00:22,314 --> 00:00:23,315 ♪ Headin' on up to South Park ♪
- 00:00:23,441 --> 00:00:24,817 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:28,779 --> 00:00:30,072 ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:32,116 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:35,411 --> 00:00:37,663 Alright, children, as I'm sure you all remember,
- 00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:40,082 today we're gonna continue our biology lesson
- 00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:41,876 by dissecting an organism.
- 00:00:42,001 --> 00:00:43,335 Yeah! Whoo-hoo!
- 00:00:43,461 --> 00:00:45,463 Now, what we are going to dissect today
- 00:00:45,588 --> 00:00:47,214 is the West Indian manatee.
- 00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:49,508 Manatees are mammals that live in the oceans
- 00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:51,886 and are often called "the gentle clowns of the sea."
- 00:00:52,011 --> 00:00:54,638 Uh, Miss Choksondick, aren't manatees endangered?
- 00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:56,265 They sure are, Wendy,
- 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:59,393 and that's why we must learn what's inside them.
- 00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:01,479 Now, we don't have quite enough manatees to go around,
- 00:01:01,604 --> 00:01:03,355 so I think we're gonna have to split up into groups of four.
- 00:01:03,481 --> 00:01:05,483 Hey, ours is still alive!
- 00:01:05,608 --> 00:01:06,859 Oh, hold on.
- 00:01:09,862 --> 00:01:11,197 Now, children, our first incision
- 00:01:11,322 --> 00:01:12,448 will be along the abdomen.
- 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:13,616 I can't do it, dude.
- 00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:15,117 Oh, don't be such a baby.
- 00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:16,494 You do it, Kenny. - Mm-mm.
- 00:01:16,619 --> 00:01:17,620 Come on, Kenny.
- 00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:18,788 I'll give you five bucks to do it.
- 00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:20,247 Five bucks!
- 00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:20,998 Too bad Cartman's missing this.
- 00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:22,041 He must be really sick.
- 00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:23,793 Say, Terrance,
- 00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:25,920 this body appears to have been moved since the murder.
- 00:01:26,045 --> 00:01:27,797 Look at the forensic evidence around the torso.
- 00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:29,131 I don't see anything.
- 00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:31,008 Look closer.
- 00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:32,760 Closer.
- 00:01:34,512 --> 00:01:35,554 I still don't see anything, Phillip.
- 00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:36,889 Wait, wait.
- 00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:38,224 I know what's gonna happen, Mom.
- 00:01:38,349 --> 00:01:38,974 You want to know what's gonna happen?
- 00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:40,476 Keep looking, Terrance.
- 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:41,977 The forensic evidence is right around here.
- 00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:51,529 Whoa, that totally surprised me!
- 00:01:51,654 --> 00:01:53,155 I can't believe how this show manages to stay fresh.
- 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,032 Huh, Mom? - Yes, sweetie.
- 00:01:55,157 --> 00:01:56,742 Mom, can you go make me
- 00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:58,619 a toaster-pastry- chocolate-mix-butter bar?
- 00:01:58,744 --> 00:02:01,288 Oh, honey, why don't you go make it yourself?
- 00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,582 Mommy's expecting some company.
- 00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:05,709 God, I have to do everything around here.
- 00:02:08,003 --> 00:02:09,505 ♪ You'll never find... ♪
- 00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:12,466 ♪ No matter how you search ♪
- 00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:15,177 ♪ Someone who loves you tender ♪
- 00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:16,846 ♪ Like I do ♪
- 00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:23,936 ♪ I'm not braggin' on myself, baby ♪
- 00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,187 ♪ But the- ♪
- 00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,815 What the hell's going on?
- 00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:29,692 Uh, sweetie,
- 00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:32,361 your friends wanted to have a <i>talk</i> with you.
- 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:35,114 Eric, your friends and your family
- 00:02:35,239 --> 00:02:37,741 are all concerned about your weight, m'kay?
- 00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:39,243 What?
- 00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:40,703 We believe that you might have a problem.
- 00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:41,787 You're God damn right I have a problem.
- 00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:42,955 <i>Terrance & Phillip</i> is on,
- 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:43,998 and I don't have anywhere to sit!
- 00:02:44,123 --> 00:02:45,166 Now, what the hell is this?
- 00:02:45,291 --> 00:02:46,625 It's called intervention, Eric.
- 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,377 Your friends and I have all chipped in,
- 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,171 and we're going to send you up
- 00:02:50,296 --> 00:02:52,089 to a weight-management retreat.
- 00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:54,008 Fat camp? - Yes, fat camp.
- 00:02:54,133 --> 00:02:55,217 Alright, I don't know who the hell
- 00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:56,927 put you all up to this,
- 00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:58,804 but I am sure as hell not going to any gay-ass fat camp!
- 00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,890 Now, Eric, all these people came here
- 00:03:01,015 --> 00:03:03,893 and paid to send you to camp because they care about you.
- 00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:05,352 Yeah, except for me.
- 00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:06,020 I just wanted to see the look on your face
- 00:03:06,145 --> 00:03:07,188 when they told you.
- 00:03:07,313 --> 00:03:08,647 Mom, tell them!
- 00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:10,399 Tell them I'm not fat; I'm just big-boned!
- 00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:11,734 Tell them all the stories about how everyone in your family
- 00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,569 was big as a child but then grew into their bodies.
- 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,196 Oh, sweetie, those were all lies.
- 00:03:15,321 --> 00:03:16,614 You're just fat.
- 00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:22,161 And now we will be removing the spleen.
- 00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:23,662 Notice how the manatee's spleen is designed for--
- 00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:25,706 Ah, Miss Choksondick,
- 00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:27,041 can we have a quick word with you?
- 00:03:27,166 --> 00:03:28,751 Alright.
- 00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:29,585 Continue with the removal of the spleen, children.
- 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:30,753 I'll be right back.
- 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,713 Oh, dude, check this out.
- 00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:34,215 That's so gross.
- 00:03:34,340 --> 00:03:35,591 Hey, Kenny, how much for you to eat this?
- 00:03:36,926 --> 00:03:37,676 I'll give you 10 bucks to eat it.
- 00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,386 I'll throw in five.
- 00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:40,804 And so, apparently, there's been a little mix-up.
- 00:03:40,930 --> 00:03:42,306 The manatees were meant to go
- 00:03:42,431 --> 00:03:43,682 to the Denver shelter aquarium,
- 00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,184 and the frogs were meant to come here.
- 00:03:45,309 --> 00:03:46,602 Oh, dear.
- 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,103 I'll throw in a dollar! - I've got three.
- 00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:49,438 Come on, dude.
- 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:50,439 All you gotta do is eat it really fast.
- 00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:51,857 41 bucks.
- 00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:54,944 Ew-hoo-hoo! He did it!
- 00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:57,821 Alright, children, now, let's get back in our seats.
- 00:03:57,947 --> 00:04:01,533 Uh, we are now going to put the manatees back together.
- 00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,581 And it has basketball courts and tennis courts,
- 00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:11,502 and you can call mommy anytime you want.
- 00:04:11,627 --> 00:04:13,671 Oh, sweetie-kins, don't be mad.
- 00:04:13,796 --> 00:04:15,631 I'm sure you're going to have a good time.
- 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,633 And when you come back, you'll be all healthy and thin.
- 00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:20,469 Howdy, there!
- 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:21,887 I'm one of the weight counselors here.
- 00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:23,264 This must be Eric Cartman.
- 00:04:23,389 --> 00:04:25,349 Yes, I'm afraid he's a little moody.
- 00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:26,809 Oh, we'll change that.
- 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,477 Hello, camper. My name is Rick.
- 00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:29,979 How are you doing?
- 00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:31,981 Well, I'm pissed off, Rick. How are you?
- 00:04:32,106 --> 00:04:33,732 I'm doing great!
- 00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:35,693 Why don't you come on out, and we'll get you oriented?
- 00:04:35,818 --> 00:04:37,987 I'll take care of him from here, ma'am.
- 00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:40,030 Oh. Well, good-bye, sweetie.
- 00:04:40,155 --> 00:04:42,116 Don't touch me.
- 00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:44,535 Eric, this is the beginning of a whole new life for you!
- 00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:52,084 Have you got any candy? - No.
- 00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:54,295 My mom says I ain't to eat no candy here.
- 00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:55,629 I'm supposed to lose weight.
- 00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:57,423 Alright!
- 00:04:57,548 --> 00:04:59,633 Everybody's here, and that means we can get down to business.
- 00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,677 Over the next few weeks, we're gonna learn
- 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,053 that losing weight is fun! Right, gang?
- 00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:05,514 Right.
- 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,474 Wait a second. Do you kids hear something?
- 00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:08,851 Why, I could've swore that--
- 00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:10,519 Rrrawr!
- 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,855 Oh, no, kids! It's glutinous fat!
- 00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:15,774 I'm gonna take over your body and make you slow.
- 00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:17,776 Oh. What are we going to do?
- 00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:19,028 Wait, I know.
- 00:05:19,153 --> 00:05:21,905 I can knock it out with... exercise!
- 00:05:22,031 --> 00:05:23,699 And...proper diet!
- 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,200 Oh, no!
- 00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:27,619 Exercise and proper diet have killed me.
- 00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:29,913 I guess we took care of that bad old fat,
- 00:05:30,039 --> 00:05:30,914 didn't we, kids?
- 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:33,083 Yeah!
- 00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:35,127 Well, hold on a second, because that glutinous fat
- 00:05:35,252 --> 00:05:37,212 was really our good friend Susan,
- 00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:39,173 who's another weight counselor!
- 00:05:39,298 --> 00:05:40,883 Heh, it was a lady in a costume.
- 00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:42,760 Would somebody put this retard out of his misery?
- 00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:46,597 What's the matter? - Kenny's not feeling so good.
- 00:05:46,722 --> 00:05:48,265 That manatee spleen made him sick.
- 00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:50,017 Uh-oh, I guess we shouldn't have made him eat it.
- 00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:53,354 Ew!
- 00:05:53,479 --> 00:05:54,938 Well, at least you got it out of your system.
- 00:05:55,064 --> 00:05:56,565 Oh, dude, you can still kind of see the spleen!
- 00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,193 How much, Kenny? - What?
- 00:05:59,318 --> 00:06:00,819 I'll give you five bucks to eat your puke.
- 00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:01,820 I'm in for five.
- 00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:02,863 Oh, you guys.
- 00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:04,031 I got three. - Six.
- 00:06:04,156 --> 00:06:05,741 Uh, here, you can scoop it up
- 00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,993 in my R. Kelly thermos.
- 00:06:10,496 --> 00:06:13,499 That's 19 bucks, Kenny.
- 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,460 Kick ass, dude!
- 00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:18,545 You know, dude, there might be something to this.
- 00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,130 Yeah, people are willing to pay big money
- 00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:21,215 to see Kenny do this stuff.
- 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:28,472 Doing great, kids. Come on!
- 00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:35,229 This...is... bullcrap!
- 00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:37,689 Well, I sure enjoyed my carrots and protein bar.
- 00:06:37,815 --> 00:06:39,691 How about you, gang? - I'm starving.
- 00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:41,026 This is it. I'm going to die here.
- 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:43,070 I hope you all left room for dessert.
- 00:06:43,195 --> 00:06:46,615 Soybean pudding for everybody!
- 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,534 Are you gonna eat your soybean pudding?
- 00:06:48,659 --> 00:06:50,119 Take it! I can't eat this crap!
- 00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:52,496 Me neither. I have to have sugar, or I'm gonna die.
- 00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:54,081 Yeah, well, when I was in prison,
- 00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:56,458 we used to sneak stuff in by hiding it up our ass.
- 00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:57,793 I've got some fudge hidden up my ass.
- 00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,336 You want some?
- 00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:00,754 Yeah, I'm not falling for that one again.
- 00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:05,884 Alright, Clyde Frog,
- 00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:07,010 we just gotta clear the counselor building,
- 00:07:07,136 --> 00:07:08,303 and we're free.
- 00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:14,059 We did it, Clyde Frog!
- 00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:15,602 Now the only question is,
- 00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:17,563 do we go home to our traitor mom and friends,
- 00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:19,314 or do we start a new life on the run?
- 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,400 An ice-cream truck!
- 00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:22,651 Hey, wait!
- 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,069 Boy, am I glad to see you.
- 00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:25,529 Can I interest you in some ice cream?
- 00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:27,030 You're damn right you can!
- 00:07:27,156 --> 00:07:28,574 Two roller pops, please.
- 00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:31,243 Alrighty, do you want this kind or this kind?
- 00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:33,954 Huh? Oh!
- 00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:36,957 They tricked us again, huh?
- 00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:39,585 Oh, God damn it! Let me out of here!
- 00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:42,045 Hang on, we'll be back at camp in a matter of no time.
- 00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,134 They always get us.
- 00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:48,760 Sometimes it's an ice-cream truck,
- 00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:50,512 sometimes it's a taco stand,
- 00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:51,680 but they always fool us.
- 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:52,681 I can't help it.
- 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,016 I'd give anything,
- 00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:55,559 any amount of money for some candy.
- 00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:57,186 Hey, kids! Looks like we had
- 00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:59,146 some attempted escapees again tonight.
- 00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:00,689 Escape-a-roo!
- 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,816 Now, campers, I know that camp is tough,
- 00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:04,776 but you have to believe that you can do it,
- 00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:06,570 and you have to know that until you drop the weight,
- 00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:07,738 you can't leave!
- 00:08:07,863 --> 00:08:09,239 There is no escape.
- 00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:11,450 So let's just all put on our "try hard" helmets
- 00:08:11,575 --> 00:08:13,076 and accept that the only way out of camp
- 00:08:13,202 --> 00:08:14,620 is to lose the weight!
- 00:08:14,745 --> 00:08:15,913 Ah, damn it.
- 00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:22,336 Thanks for coming, everybody.
- 00:08:22,461 --> 00:08:24,505 What's all this about, Mrs. Cartman?
- 00:08:24,630 --> 00:08:26,590 Is Eric having trouble at his weight-management camp?
- 00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:27,674 We knew he wouldn't make it.
- 00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:29,301 Oh, no, quite the contrary.
- 00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:31,762 Eric showed up and surprised me last night.
- 00:08:31,887 --> 00:08:33,472 Ladies and gentlemen,
- 00:08:33,597 --> 00:08:36,600 I would like to present to you the new Eric Cartman.
- 00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:38,894 Hey, dudes!
- 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,604 Whoa! - I don't believe it.
- 00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:41,980 Believe it.
- 00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:44,066 He lost 40 pounds at his fat camp.
- 00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,443 Eric, that's fantastic, m'kay!
- 00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:48,862 Congratulations. How do you feel?
- 00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:50,322 I feel awesome.
- 00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:52,366 What the hell did they do with all the fat?
- 00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:54,618 There must've been enough to last an Eskimo family months.
- 00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:56,161 You know, Kyle, there was a time when your fat jokes
- 00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:57,579 would have gotten to me,
- 00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:59,331 but now I'm totally slim and totally happy.
- 00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:00,791 In fact, I'd say I'm a little bit trimmer
- 00:09:00,916 --> 00:09:02,543 than <i>you,</i> fat boy.
- 00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:04,127 Just kidding, Kyle.
- 00:09:04,253 --> 00:09:06,797 I made some healthy tofu pudding to celebrate.
- 00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:07,881 Who wants some?
- 00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:09,716 Me, me, me, me!
- 00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:11,552 Dude, I don't know if I'm gonna like
- 00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:13,011 the new Eric Cartman.
- 00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:14,137 Did you like the old one? - Good point.
- 00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:16,306 And now back to <i>Jesus and Pals</i>
- 00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,350 on South Park public access.
- 00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:19,810 Back to our courageous story
- 00:09:19,935 --> 00:09:21,478 of a little boy's triumph over obesity.
- 00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:23,397 Eric, <i>yea</i>, you found
- 00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:25,524 that the spirit of the Lord inside you gave you strength.
- 00:09:25,649 --> 00:09:27,859 No, actually I found a diet that totally works.
- 00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:29,695 A little boy who overcame the odds.
- 00:09:29,820 --> 00:09:31,196 Let's hear it for Eric Cartman!
- 00:09:33,699 --> 00:09:35,117 Well, our second guest tonight
- 00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:36,743 is a young man named Kenny McCormick,
- 00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:37,744 who is going to eat dog crap.
- 00:09:37,869 --> 00:09:40,163 Kenny?
- 00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:00,267 Yes!
- 00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:02,394 Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
- 00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:04,521 Damn it, all I got was a little golf clap.
- 00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:05,814 Thanks for coming on the show, Kenny.
- 00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,024 Sure.
- 00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:08,191 Do it again! Do it again!
- 00:10:08,317 --> 00:10:09,318 Hey, kid, I'll give you 20 bucks
- 00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:10,902 to eat a really old piece of bacon.
- 00:10:11,028 --> 00:10:12,195 This is ridiculous!
- 00:10:12,321 --> 00:10:13,780 So, Kenny,
- 00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:16,074 how did you discover that you had this...talent?
- 00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:17,409 We thought of it, Jesus.
- 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:18,869 I mean, Kenny's the one that does it all,
- 00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:20,287 but we were the masterminds of the whole thing.
- 00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:21,872 I can't say I approve of this, my children.
- 00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:23,915 Huh? Why not?
- 00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:25,876 Because Kenny is only doing things
- 00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:27,169 that anybody could do... for money.
- 00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:29,379 He's a prostitute.
- 00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:31,465 I'll pay him 50 bucks to eat someone else's vomit.
- 00:10:31,590 --> 00:10:32,841 Yeah, go for it! Yeah!
- 00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,301 What's a prostitute? - I don't know.
- 00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:39,848 Hello, there, children.
- 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:40,849 Hey, Chef.
- 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,100 Chef, what's a prostitute?
- 00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:44,144 Dag nabbit, children!
- 00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:45,771 How come every time you come in here,
- 00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:48,398 you gotta be asking me questions I shouldn't be answering?
- 00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:50,609 "Chef, what's a clitoris? What's a lesbian, Chef?
- 00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:52,402 How come they call it a 'rim job,' Chef?"
- 00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:54,571 For once, can't you just come in here and say,
- 00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,365 "Hi, Chef. Nice day, isn't it?"
- 00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:57,491 Hi, Chef. Nice day, isn't it?
- 00:10:57,616 --> 00:10:59,326 It sure is. Thank you.
- 00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:01,036 Chef, what's a prostitute?
- 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,788 Unh-unh. You children are gonna get me in trouble
- 00:11:02,913 --> 00:11:04,122 with the principal again.
- 00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:05,666 Lunchtime! I'm starved!
- 00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:06,667 Oh, my God!
- 00:11:06,792 --> 00:11:08,418 Eric? - That's me.
- 00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:11,296 Chef was just about to tell us what a prostitute is.
- 00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:13,757 Why do you need to know what a prostitute is, anyway?
- 00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:15,842 Because Jesus told us that Kenny's a prostitute.
- 00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:17,469 Is he? - Yeah, am I?
- 00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:19,721 Well, no, of course, Kenny is not a prostitute.
- 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,515 Why?
- 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:24,351 Well, because, children, a prostitute is someone who...
- 00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:26,311 You can pay for certain services.
- 00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:28,063 Like what? - Like keeping you company.
- 00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:29,981 Understand? - No.
- 00:11:30,107 --> 00:11:32,484 You see, children, sometimes a man needs to be with a woman,
- 00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:34,653 but sometimes, when the lovin' is over,
- 00:11:34,778 --> 00:11:37,989 the woman just want to talk and talk and talk and talk.
- 00:11:38,115 --> 00:11:40,534 ♪ But a prostitute is someone who would love you ♪
- 00:11:40,659 --> 00:11:44,162 ♪ No matter who you are or what you look like ♪
- 00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:46,998 Yes, it's true, children.
- 00:11:47,124 --> 00:11:48,792 ♪ That's not why you pay a prostitute ♪
- 00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:50,585 ♪ No, you don't pay for her to stay ♪
- 00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:53,338 ♪ You're paying her to leave afterward ♪
- 00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:57,008 ♪ That's why I praise the Lord for prostitutes ♪
- 00:11:57,134 --> 00:12:00,470 Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. James Taylor!
- 00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:02,597 ♪ A prostitute is like any other woman ♪
- 00:12:02,723 --> 00:12:04,182 ♪ They all trade something for sex ♪
- 00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:06,852 ♪ And they do it well ♪
- 00:12:06,977 --> 00:12:08,353 ♪ That's why I say ♪
- 00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:09,938 ♪ Prostitutes, prostitutes ♪
- 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,648 ♪ They-♪ Ohh!
- 00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:17,320 James Taylor, what the hell you doing in here,
- 00:12:17,446 --> 00:12:19,322 singing about prostitutes to the children?
- 00:12:19,448 --> 00:12:20,866 Get out of here!
- 00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:24,578 These children tricked me!
- 00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:34,838 Oh, there you are.
- 00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:36,506 Alright, I got the goods --
- 00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:38,508 some candy bars, a few donuts, and some beef gravy.
- 00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:40,469 Is anyone starting to suspect anything?
- 00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:42,387 Nobody. Your mom even thinks I'm a skinny you.
- 00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:44,264 Awesome. Alright, throw it over.
- 00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:45,724 Uh-uh, one thing. I want a bigger cut.
- 00:12:45,849 --> 00:12:47,058 What? - I'm the one risking my ass,
- 00:12:47,184 --> 00:12:48,560 running around in that stupid town
- 00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:49,644 pretending to be you and collecting all the food
- 00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:51,480 to bring up here.
- 00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:52,773 All you have to do is sit back and sell it to the fat kids!
- 00:12:52,898 --> 00:12:54,149 Alright, alright, keep your voice down!
- 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,317 I'll bump you up to 10%.
- 00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,027 20%. - Suck my balls, 20%!
- 00:12:57,152 --> 00:12:58,236 Fine. Then I shall bid you good day.
- 00:12:58,361 --> 00:12:59,946 Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- 00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:01,490 Fine, 20%, but just remember that your parents think
- 00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:02,908 you're at the drug rehab center next door.
- 00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,576 You blow your cover, and we're both screwed.
- 00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:11,208 You guys! You have to check this tape out!
- 00:13:11,333 --> 00:13:13,418 Hey, we're trying to study. Finals are tomorrow.
- 00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:14,961 No, dude, check this out!
- 00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:17,088 It's this kid who does all kinds of crazy stuff.
- 00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:19,925 Check it out!
- 00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:21,635 He jumped into a portapotty at a construction site
- 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,094 and stayed there for four days!
- 00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:24,179 Whoa!
- 00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:29,851 Oh, gross! - Sick!
- 00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:31,061 That's awesome!
- 00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:32,896 Hey, guys, check this out!
- 00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:39,611 Get ready for <i>THE KRAZY KENNY SHOW</i>!!!
- 00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:41,279 and now here's your host,
- 00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:43,740 the kid who will do anything to himself for money...
- 00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:47,452 Kra-a-a-a-zy Kenny!
- 00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:49,913 Kenny, through the past weeks,
- 00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,665 we've seen you eat mice,
- 00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:53,500 pretend to kill newborn babies to shock their mothers,
- 00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:55,168 and wash your hair with battery acid.
- 00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:56,753 The question on all our minds is,
- 00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:58,296 what are you gonna do next?
- 00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:04,427 Oh, ho ho! You heard him, folks.
- 00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:07,764 Kenny is going to give a sensual, full-body massage
- 00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:10,016 to his own grandfather!
- 00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:12,102 Oh, ho! Whoo-hoo!
- 00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:29,286 Wow, this is Kenny's best show ever!
- 00:14:29,411 --> 00:14:30,912 This is so juvenile.
- 00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:32,330 Cartman, what the hell's the matter with you?
- 00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:34,165 Yeah, you've gotten lame since you got skinny. What's up?
- 00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:35,500 Nothing.
- 00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:36,835 Can I have some licorice to take home?
- 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,255 Alright, campers, good work today.
- 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:41,798 Lights out, and we'll see you tomorrow
- 00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:42,924 for more exercise and proper diet.
- 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:46,761 All "beddy-byes" for the night, are they?
- 00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:48,555 I don't know what we're doing wrong, Susan.
- 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,015 These kids aren't losing the weight.
- 00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:51,850 We'll just have to give them more time.
- 00:14:51,975 --> 00:14:53,351 They'll do it. - They'll do it!
- 00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:54,853 They'll do it!
- 00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:58,106 Alright, they're gone.
- 00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:02,027 The Cartman Store is open!
- 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:07,032 Two donuts and a pack of licorice, please.
- 00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:09,492 Two donuts and a pack of licorice.
- 00:15:09,618 --> 00:15:10,952 Hello, tony. The usual?
- 00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:16,207 Why are you crying, Chad?
- 00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:18,209 'Cause I'm always gonna be fat.
- 00:15:18,335 --> 00:15:21,004 I don't wanna eat no sweets, but I can't control myself
- 00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:23,173 when they're right in front of me like this.
- 00:15:24,716 --> 00:15:26,259 All my life, I've been fat.
- 00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:27,844 I've been to seven camps,
- 00:15:27,969 --> 00:15:30,055 and I swore to my mama that I'd lose the weight.
- 00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:33,016 I want to, but I can't help myself.
- 00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:37,062 Hey, Chad.
- 00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:39,189 You know what you need? You need a friend.
- 00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:40,732 I do?
- 00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:41,733 Yes...
- 00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,276 A chocolate friend.
- 00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:47,739 Mr. Candy Bar doesn't judge you, Chad.
- 00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:50,200 Mr. Candy Bar likes you just the way you are.
- 00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:52,285 Look at how yummy and sweet he is.
- 00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,208 There you go.
- 00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:00,752 That'll just be $4.
- 00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:05,882 There you go.
- 00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:07,425 This week on pay-per-view,
- 00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:09,302 Krazy Kenny will crawl up into a woman's uterus
- 00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:11,012 and stay there for six hours.
- 00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:12,847 Don't miss this once-in-a-lifetime event.
- 00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:13,890 Order now!
- 00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:17,185 Alright, so we're back
- 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,436 talking to three competing celebrities:
- 00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:20,188 Tom Green, Johnny Knoxville from MTV's <i>Jackass,</i>
- 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,940 and Krazy Kenny. - Hey, Howard.
- 00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:23,233 Krazy Kenny is here to promote
- 00:16:23,358 --> 00:16:24,901 his pay-per-view special this week,
- 00:16:25,026 --> 00:16:27,946 where he will crawl up into a bus driver's uterus
- 00:16:28,071 --> 00:16:29,239 and stay there for six hours.
- 00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:30,699 Wow.
- 00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:32,450 Now, some people think that all you guys do
- 00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:34,327 is perform sick and disgusting acts
- 00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:36,371 for shock value and money, which makes you whores.
- 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,373 But I'd like to prove them wrong,
- 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:41,710 so what I'm gonna do is offer each of you $50,000
- 00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:43,294 to give me oral sex right now.
- 00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:44,379 I'm in. - Me too.
- 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:45,588 - And me. Oh!
- 00:16:45,714 --> 00:16:46,506 Fine, I'll do it for 40, then.
- 00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:47,674 30 - 20.
- 00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:49,426 10 bucks.
- 00:16:49,551 --> 00:16:50,343 Ooh, the kid says he'll do it for 10 bucks.
- 00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:51,594 Damn it, I'm out. - Me too.
- 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:52,721 I guess he is the biggest whore.
- 00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:53,763 Alright let's get going, then.
- 00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:54,681 Can we cut the cameras?
- 00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:58,226 And we're gonna reach for the sky...
- 00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:00,186 and down to the ground.
- 00:17:00,311 --> 00:17:01,813 and up to the sky.
- 00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:05,900 and down to the ground.
- 00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:08,153 Please, Mr. Sanders. - No, I have had it!
- 00:17:08,278 --> 00:17:09,612 What's happening?
- 00:17:09,738 --> 00:17:11,114 Horace's parents want to take him home.
- 00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:12,907 Oh, but he's not ready yet.
- 00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:14,868 Look at what you've done to my boy!
- 00:17:14,993 --> 00:17:17,412 You told Horace that he was responsible for his weight.
- 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,789 You made him believe that with exercise and proper diet,
- 00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:21,124 he could be thin,
- 00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:23,293 when we told you that it was his genetics.
- 00:17:23,418 --> 00:17:24,836 They can lose the weight if they try.
- 00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:26,087 Look at these kids!
- 00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:27,630 They're not getting any thinner!
- 00:17:27,756 --> 00:17:28,715 Your camp is a fraud.
- 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:30,258 You need to accept the fact
- 00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,635 that most fat people are just genetically fat.
- 00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:34,679 Please, sir, if you give us one more week--
- 00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:35,722 Your time is up!
- 00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:37,307 Yeah, your time is up.
- 00:17:37,432 --> 00:17:39,309 And I'm going to call all the other parents
- 00:17:39,434 --> 00:17:41,186 and tell them to come claim their kids as well.
- 00:17:41,311 --> 00:17:42,729 Your camp was a waste of time!
- 00:17:42,854 --> 00:17:44,397 But Dad, I-- - What?
- 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,485 Nothing.
- 00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:49,527 We're in trouble, Rick.
- 00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:55,075 Alright, Ms. Crabtree, is it comfortable enough?
- 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:56,743 How long have I gotta sit here?
- 00:17:56,868 --> 00:17:57,911 Six hours.
- 00:17:58,036 --> 00:17:59,245 Hell, I'll do six hours
- 00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:01,039 for the 500 bucks you're paying me.
- 00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:02,749 Great. - You guys, it's Kenny!
- 00:18:02,874 --> 00:18:04,417 He's been arrested for prostitution in New York.
- 00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:05,627 For what?
- 00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:06,878 For giving Howard Stern a hummer.
- 00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:08,588 What's a hummer? - I don't know!
- 00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:10,381 All I know is, Kenny's in jail for at least three months!
- 00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:11,674 Three months?
- 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:12,634 But the pay-per-view is tomorrow!
- 00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:14,010 I know!
- 00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:18,598 We've worked so hard, come so close.
- 00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:19,974 Now we'll never see Kenny
- 00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,476 crawl up into Ms. Crabtree's uterus.
- 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,853 You know, maybe we've all learned something here.
- 00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:25,313 I mean, we set Kenny up
- 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:26,981 to further and further himself each time,
- 00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:28,525 having to always outdo himself.
- 00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:30,318 Now he's in jail for being a whore,
- 00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:33,029 and perhaps, just perhaps, we are to blame.
- 00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:36,116 Alright, that does it!
- 00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:38,326 This has been bothering the hell out of me.
- 00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,537 I knew it! You're not Cartman at all!
- 00:18:40,662 --> 00:18:41,454 Uh-oh.
- 00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:47,961 Well, we've seen him do
- 00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:49,671 just about every disgusting thing in the book,
- 00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:51,631 and today, live on pay-per-view,
- 00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:54,217 Krazy Kenny is going to crawl into a woman's uterus
- 00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:55,969 for six hours!
- 00:18:57,971 --> 00:18:59,681 Well, Ms. Crabtree, your cervix has been dilated,
- 00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:01,141 your womb equipped with oxygen.
- 00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:02,142 How do you feel?
- 00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:03,768 I feel great!
- 00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:05,478 I haven't had this much attention paid to my cooch
- 00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:07,147 since I was 16!
- 00:19:07,272 --> 00:19:08,690 Hooray!
- 00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,150 Well, let's bring out the man of the hour.
- 00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:11,901 You know him as--
- 00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:13,862 Don't worry, dude, you're gonna do great.
- 00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:15,155 No way. I'm not doing this.
- 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:16,739 Oh, you're doing it,
- 00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:18,199 or else we're gonna bust your whole scheme wide-open
- 00:19:18,324 --> 00:19:19,617 and tell your mom you haven't actually been
- 00:19:19,742 --> 00:19:20,952 at your drug rehab this whole time.
- 00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:22,537 But this isn't fair! - Deal, druggie.
- 00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:26,708 And here he is, Kenny McCormick!
- 00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:35,842 We can watch him on the monitors.
- 00:19:35,967 --> 00:19:38,469 How you doing in there, Kenny?
- 00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:41,306 That's my boy.
- 00:19:41,431 --> 00:19:42,682 Good-bye, Chad.
- 00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:44,559 We'll be wanting a refund, naturally.
- 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,728 Naturally. - Good-bye, Alice.
- 00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,438 Good-bye. Thank you.
- 00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:50,273 Oh, don't thank us. We failed you.
- 00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:52,692 65, 66, 67...
- 00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:55,236 Wait a second. This isn't right.
- 00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,946 Hmm? Hmm?
- 00:19:57,071 --> 00:19:58,907 It's time for me to be responsible for my own actions.
- 00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:01,743 Mom, Dad, we've been eating candy this whole time.
- 00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:03,953 Eric Cartman's been sneaking in junk food.
- 00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:06,039 Eh, shut up, you heif, Chad.
- 00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:07,415 No, he's right.
- 00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:08,499 The counselors been doing a good job.
- 00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:09,709 We've just been cheating.
- 00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:11,127 Yeah.
- 00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:12,545 I believe I <i>can</i> lose the weight
- 00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:13,963 with exercise and proper diet.
- 00:20:14,088 --> 00:20:15,632 I don't want to make excuses no more.
- 00:20:15,757 --> 00:20:17,967 - Me neither! - Yeah!
- 00:20:18,092 --> 00:20:20,470 If you take us back, we promise we won't cheat.
- 00:20:20,595 --> 00:20:22,722 Well, it's alright with me. Parents?
- 00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:25,225 Well, what the heck?
- 00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:26,643 Maybe when you're all done,
- 00:20:26,768 --> 00:20:28,603 you can teach me a thing or two, huh, son?
- 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:30,730 You know, you guys are right.
- 00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:33,107 I'm sick of being the fat kid too.
- 00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:35,109 I've been making excuses all my life,
- 00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:37,820 but I know deep down that if I took responsibility
- 00:20:37,946 --> 00:20:40,114 and really tried hard, if we all try together,
- 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,075 we really can lose the weight!
- 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,035 Oh, no, not you. You're not welcome here anymore.
- 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:44,994 Yeah!
- 00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:47,288 What? - Buh-bye.
- 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:51,042 Well, screw you, fat-asses!
- 00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:59,676 4, 3, 2, 1!
- 00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:02,136 He did it! Come on out, Kenny.
- 00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:05,723 You made it six hours, Kenny. Come on out of there.
- 00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:08,309 Ms. Crabtree, maybe you could give him a little push.
- 00:21:12,355 --> 00:21:15,024 Ew!
- 00:21:15,149 --> 00:21:16,401 He's dead.
- 00:21:16,526 --> 00:21:18,152 The pressure must have killed him.
- 00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:20,863 I told you I was a tight virgin flower!
- 00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:23,116 Oh, my God! They killed Kenny...sort of.
- 00:21:23,241 --> 00:21:25,576 Yeah, they kind of killed Kenny's...look-alike.
- 00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:27,328 You bastards!
- 00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,747 Well, he gave his life for our amusement.
- 00:21:29,872 --> 00:21:31,708 One little boy who dared to be different:
- 00:21:31,833 --> 00:21:36,462 let us never forget Kenny McCormick.
- 00:21:36,587 --> 00:21:38,631 Who is that?
- 00:21:38,756 --> 00:21:40,800 ♪ A prostitute is someone who would love you ♪
- 00:21:40,925 --> 00:21:44,470 ♪ No matter who you are or what you look like ♪
- 00:21:44,595 --> 00:21:47,223 Yes, it's true, children.
- 00:21:47,348 --> 00:21:49,350 ♪ That's not why you pay a prostitute ♪
- 00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:51,060 ♪ No, you don't pay for her to stay ♪
- 00:21:51,185 --> 00:21:53,980 ♪ You're paying her to leave afterward ♪
- 00:21:54,105 --> 00:21:57,608 ♪ That's why I praise the Lord for prostitutes ♪
- 00:00:08,592 --> 00:00:10,136 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:10,261 --> 00:00:12,096 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:13,889 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:14,015 --> 00:00:15,349 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:16,642 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,686 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,811 --> 00:00:20,396 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,189 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
- 00:00:22,314 --> 00:00:23,315 ♪ Headin' on up to South Park ♪
- 00:00:23,441 --> 00:00:24,817 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:28,654 ♪ [muffled] ♪
- 00:00:28,779 --> 00:00:30,072 ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:32,116 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:35,286 [bell ringing]
- 00:00:35,411 --> 00:00:37,663 Alright, children, as I'm sure you all remember,
- 00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:40,082 today we're gonna continue our biology lesson
- 00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:41,876 by dissecting an organism.
- 00:00:42,001 --> 00:00:43,335 [all] Yeah! Whoo-hoo!
- 00:00:43,461 --> 00:00:45,463 Now, what we are going to dissect today
- 00:00:45,588 --> 00:00:47,214 is the West Indian manatee.
- 00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:49,508 Manatees are mammals that live in the oceans
- 00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:51,886 and are often called "the gentle clowns of the sea."
- 00:00:52,011 --> 00:00:54,638 Uh, Miss Choksondick, aren't manatees endangered?
- 00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:56,265 They sure are, Wendy,
- 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:59,393 and that's why we must learn what's inside them.
- 00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:01,479 Now, we don't have quite enough manatees to go around,
- 00:01:01,604 --> 00:01:03,355 so I think we're gonna have to split up into groups of four.
- 00:01:03,481 --> 00:01:05,483 Hey, ours is still alive!
- 00:01:05,608 --> 00:01:06,859 Oh, hold on.
- 00:01:06,984 --> 00:01:09,737 [grunts]
- 00:01:09,862 --> 00:01:11,197 Now, children, our first incision
- 00:01:11,322 --> 00:01:12,448 will be along the abdomen.
- 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:13,616 I can't do it, dude.
- 00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:15,117 Oh, don't be such a baby.
- 00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:16,494 You do it, Kenny. - Mm-mm.
- 00:01:16,619 --> 00:01:17,620 Come on, Kenny.
- 00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:18,788 I'll give you five bucks to do it.
- 00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:20,247 [muffled] Five bucks!
- 00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:20,998 Too bad Cartman's missing this.
- 00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:22,041 He must be really sick.
- 00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:23,793 Say, Terrance,
- 00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:25,920 this body appears to have been moved since the murder.
- 00:01:26,045 --> 00:01:27,797 Look at the forensic evidence around the torso.
- 00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:29,131 I don't see anything.
- 00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:31,008 Look closer.
- 00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:32,760 Closer.
- 00:01:32,885 --> 00:01:34,386 [straining]
- 00:01:34,512 --> 00:01:35,554 I still don't see anything, Phillip.
- 00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:36,889 Wait, wait.
- 00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:38,224 I know what's gonna happen, Mom.
- 00:01:38,349 --> 00:01:38,974 You want to know what's gonna happen?
- 00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:40,476 Keep looking, Terrance.
- 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:41,977 The forensic evidence is right around here.
- 00:01:42,103 --> 00:01:42,978 [straining]
- 00:01:43,104 --> 00:01:43,979 [farts]
- 00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:46,482 [laughing]
- 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,067 [farts]
- 00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:49,819 [laughing]
- 00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:51,529 Whoa, that totally surprised me!
- 00:01:51,654 --> 00:01:53,155 I can't believe how this show manages to stay fresh.
- 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,032 Huh, Mom? - Yes, sweetie.
- 00:01:55,157 --> 00:01:56,742 Mom, can you go make me
- 00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:58,619 a toaster-pastry- chocolate-mix-butter bar?
- 00:01:58,744 --> 00:02:01,288 Oh, honey, why don't you go make it yourself?
- 00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,582 Mommy's expecting some company.
- 00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:05,709 God, I have to do everything around here.
- 00:02:08,003 --> 00:02:09,505 ♪ You'll never find... ♪
- 00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:10,881 [humming]
- 00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:12,466 ♪ No matter how you search ♪
- 00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:15,177 ♪ Someone who loves you tender ♪
- 00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:16,846 ♪ Like I do ♪
- 00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:18,931 [humming]
- 00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:23,936 ♪ I'm not braggin' on myself, baby ♪
- 00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,187 ♪ But the- ♪
- 00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,815 What the hell's going on?
- 00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:29,692 Uh, sweetie,
- 00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:32,361 your friends wanted to have a <i>talk</i> with you.
- 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:35,114 Eric, your friends and your family
- 00:02:35,239 --> 00:02:37,741 are all concerned about your weight, m'kay?
- 00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:39,243 What?
- 00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:40,703 We believe that you might have a problem.
- 00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:41,787 You're God damn right I have a problem.
- 00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:42,955 <i>Terrance & Phillip</i> is on,
- 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:43,998 and I don't have anywhere to sit!
- 00:02:44,123 --> 00:02:45,166 Now, what the hell is this?
- 00:02:45,291 --> 00:02:46,625 It's called intervention, Eric.
- 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,377 Your friends and I have all chipped in,
- 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,171 and we're going to send you up
- 00:02:50,296 --> 00:02:52,089 to a weight-management retreat.
- 00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:54,008 Fat camp? - Yes, fat camp.
- 00:02:54,133 --> 00:02:55,217 Alright, I don't know who the hell
- 00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:56,927 put you all up to this,
- 00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:58,804 but I am sure as hell not going to any gay-ass fat camp!
- 00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,890 Now, Eric, all these people came here
- 00:03:01,015 --> 00:03:03,893 and paid to send you to camp because they care about you.
- 00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:05,352 Yeah, except for me.
- 00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:06,020 I just wanted to see the look on your face
- 00:03:06,145 --> 00:03:07,188 when they told you.
- 00:03:07,313 --> 00:03:08,647 Mom, tell them!
- 00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:10,399 Tell them I'm not fat; I'm just big-boned!
- 00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:11,734 Tell them all the stories about how everyone in your family
- 00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,569 was big as a child but then grew into their bodies.
- 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,196 Oh, sweetie, those were all lies.
- 00:03:15,321 --> 00:03:16,614 You're just fat.
- 00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:22,161 And now we will be removing the spleen.
- 00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:23,662 Notice how the manatee's spleen is designed for--
- 00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:25,706 Ah, Miss Choksondick,
- 00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:27,041 can we have a quick word with you?
- 00:03:27,166 --> 00:03:28,751 Alright.
- 00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:29,585 Continue with the removal of the spleen, children.
- 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:30,753 I'll be right back.
- 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,713 Oh, dude, check this out.
- 00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:34,215 That's so gross.
- 00:03:34,340 --> 00:03:35,591 Hey, Kenny, how much for you to eat this?
- 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:36,800 [muffled]
- 00:03:36,926 --> 00:03:37,676 I'll give you 10 bucks to eat it.
- 00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,386 I'll throw in five.
- 00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:40,804 And so, apparently, there's been a little mix-up.
- 00:03:40,930 --> 00:03:42,306 The manatees were meant to go
- 00:03:42,431 --> 00:03:43,682 to the Denver shelter aquarium,
- 00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,184 and the frogs were meant to come here.
- 00:03:45,309 --> 00:03:46,602 Oh, dear.
- 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,103 I'll throw in a dollar! - I've got three.
- 00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:49,438 Come on, dude.
- 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:50,439 All you gotta do is eat it really fast.
- 00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:51,857 41 bucks.
- 00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:53,150 [children groaning]
- 00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:54,944 Ew-hoo-hoo! He did it!
- 00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:57,821 Alright, children, now, let's get back in our seats.
- 00:03:57,947 --> 00:04:01,533 Uh, we are now going to put the manatees back together.
- 00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,581 And it has basketball courts and tennis courts,
- 00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:11,502 and you can call mommy anytime you want.
- 00:04:11,627 --> 00:04:13,671 Oh, sweetie-kins, don't be mad.
- 00:04:13,796 --> 00:04:15,631 I'm sure you're going to have a good time.
- 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,633 And when you come back, you'll be all healthy and thin.
- 00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:20,469 Howdy, there!
- 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:21,887 I'm one of the weight counselors here.
- 00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:23,264 This must be Eric Cartman.
- 00:04:23,389 --> 00:04:25,349 Yes, I'm afraid he's a little moody.
- 00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:26,809 Oh, we'll change that.
- 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,477 Hello, camper. My name is Rick.
- 00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:29,979 How are you doing?
- 00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:31,981 Well, I'm pissed off, Rick. How are you?
- 00:04:32,106 --> 00:04:33,732 I'm doing great!
- 00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:35,693 Why don't you come on out, and we'll get you oriented?
- 00:04:35,818 --> 00:04:37,987 I'll take care of him from here, ma'am.
- 00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:40,030 Oh. Well, good-bye, sweetie.
- 00:04:40,155 --> 00:04:42,116 Don't touch me.
- 00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:44,535 Eric, this is the beginning of a whole new life for you!
- 00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:52,084 Have you got any candy? - No.
- 00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:54,295 My mom says I ain't to eat no candy here.
- 00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:55,629 I'm supposed to lose weight.
- 00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:57,423 Alright!
- 00:04:57,548 --> 00:04:59,633 Everybody's here, and that means we can get down to business.
- 00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,677 Over the next few weeks, we're gonna learn
- 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,053 that losing weight is fun! Right, gang?
- 00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:05,514 Right.
- 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,474 Wait a second. Do you kids hear something?
- 00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:08,851 Why, I could've swore that--
- 00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:10,519 Rrrawr!
- 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,855 Oh, no, kids! It's glutinous fat!
- 00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:15,774 I'm gonna take over your body and make you slow.
- 00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:17,776 Oh. What are we going to do?
- 00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:19,028 Wait, I know.
- 00:05:19,153 --> 00:05:21,905 I can knock it out with... exercise!
- 00:05:22,031 --> 00:05:23,699 And...proper diet!
- 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,200 Oh, no!
- 00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:27,619 Exercise and proper diet have killed me.
- 00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:29,913 I guess we took care of that bad old fat,
- 00:05:30,039 --> 00:05:30,914 didn't we, kids?
- 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:33,083 Yeah!
- 00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:35,127 Well, hold on a second, because that glutinous fat
- 00:05:35,252 --> 00:05:37,212 was really our good friend Susan,
- 00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:39,173 who's another weight counselor!
- 00:05:39,298 --> 00:05:40,883 Heh, it was a lady in a costume.
- 00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:42,760 Would somebody put this retard out of his misery?
- 00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:46,597 What's the matter? - Kenny's not feeling so good.
- 00:05:46,722 --> 00:05:48,265 That manatee spleen made him sick.
- 00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:50,017 Uh-oh, I guess we shouldn't have made him eat it.
- 00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:51,769 [vomiting]
- 00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:53,354 All: Ew!
- 00:05:53,479 --> 00:05:54,938 Well, at least you got it out of your system.
- 00:05:55,064 --> 00:05:56,565 Oh, dude, you can still kind of see the spleen!
- 00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,193 How much, Kenny? - [muffled] What?
- 00:05:59,318 --> 00:06:00,819 I'll give you five bucks to eat your puke.
- 00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:01,820 I'm in for five.
- 00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:02,863 Oh, you guys.
- 00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:04,031 I got three. - Six.
- 00:06:04,156 --> 00:06:05,741 Uh, here, you can scoop it up
- 00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,993 in my R. Kelly thermos.
- 00:06:10,496 --> 00:06:13,499 That's 19 bucks, Kenny.
- 00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:14,875 [all groaning]
- 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,460 Kick ass, dude!
- 00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:18,545 You know, dude, there might be something to this.
- 00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,130 Yeah, people are willing to pay big money
- 00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:21,215 to see Kenny do this stuff.
- 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:28,472 Doing great, kids. Come on!
- 00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:30,808 [all panting and coughing]
- 00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:35,229 This...is... bullcrap!
- 00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:37,689 Well, I sure enjoyed my carrots and protein bar.
- 00:06:37,815 --> 00:06:39,691 How about you, gang? - I'm starving.
- 00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:41,026 This is it. I'm going to die here.
- 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:43,070 I hope you all left room for dessert.
- 00:06:43,195 --> 00:06:46,615 Soybean pudding for everybody!
- 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,534 Are you gonna eat your soybean pudding?
- 00:06:48,659 --> 00:06:50,119 Take it! I can't eat this crap!
- 00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:52,496 Me neither. I have to have sugar, or I'm gonna die.
- 00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:54,081 Yeah, well, when I was in prison,
- 00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:56,458 we used to sneak stuff in by hiding it up our ass.
- 00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:57,793 I've got some fudge hidden up my ass.
- 00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,336 You want some?
- 00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:00,754 Yeah, I'm not falling for that one again.
- 00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:05,884 Alright, Clyde Frog,
- 00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:07,010 we just gotta clear the counselor building,
- 00:07:07,136 --> 00:07:08,303 and we're free.
- 00:07:08,429 --> 00:07:10,431 [panting]
- 00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:14,059 We did it, Clyde Frog!
- 00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:15,602 Now the only question is,
- 00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:17,563 do we go home to our traitor mom and friends,
- 00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:19,314 or do we start a new life on the run?
- 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,400 An ice-cream truck!
- 00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:22,651 Hey, wait!
- 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,069 Boy, am I glad to see you.
- 00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:25,529 Can I interest you in some ice cream?
- 00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:27,030 You're damn right you can!
- 00:07:27,156 --> 00:07:28,574 Two roller pops, please.
- 00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:31,243 Alrighty, do you want this kind or this kind?
- 00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:33,954 Huh? Oh!
- 00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:36,957 They tricked us again, huh?
- 00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:39,585 Oh, God damn it! Let me out of here!
- 00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:42,045 Hang on, we'll be back at camp in a matter of no time.
- 00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,134 They always get us.
- 00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:48,760 Sometimes it's an ice-cream truck,
- 00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:50,512 sometimes it's a taco stand,
- 00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:51,680 but they always fool us.
- 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:52,681 I can't help it.
- 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,016 I'd give anything,
- 00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:55,559 any amount of money for some candy.
- 00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:57,186 Hey, kids! Looks like we had
- 00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:59,146 some attempted escapees again tonight.
- 00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:00,689 Escape-a-roo!
- 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,816 Now, campers, I know that camp is tough,
- 00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:04,776 but you have to believe that you can do it,
- 00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:06,570 and you have to know that until you drop the weight,
- 00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:07,738 you can't leave!
- 00:08:07,863 --> 00:08:09,239 There is no escape.
- 00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:11,450 So let's just all put on our "try hard" helmets
- 00:08:11,575 --> 00:08:13,076 and accept that the only way out of camp
- 00:08:13,202 --> 00:08:14,620 is to lose the weight!
- 00:08:14,745 --> 00:08:15,913 Ah, damn it.
- 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:20,584 [indistinct conversations]
- 00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:22,336 Thanks for coming, everybody.
- 00:08:22,461 --> 00:08:24,505 What's all this about, Mrs. Cartman?
- 00:08:24,630 --> 00:08:26,590 Is Eric having trouble at his weight-management camp?
- 00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:27,674 We knew he wouldn't make it.
- 00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:29,301 Oh, no, quite the contrary.
- 00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:31,762 Eric showed up and surprised me last night.
- 00:08:31,887 --> 00:08:33,472 Ladies and gentlemen,
- 00:08:33,597 --> 00:08:36,600 I would like to present to you the new Eric Cartman.
- 00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:38,894 Hey, dudes!
- 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,604 Whoa! - I don't believe it.
- 00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:41,980 Believe it.
- 00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:44,066 He lost 40 pounds at his fat camp.
- 00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,443 Eric, that's fantastic, m'kay!
- 00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:48,862 Congratulations. How do you feel?
- 00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:50,322 I feel awesome.
- 00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:52,366 What the hell did they do with all the fat?
- 00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:54,618 There must've been enough to last an Eskimo family months.
- 00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:56,161 You know, Kyle, there was a time when your fat jokes
- 00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:57,579 would have gotten to me,
- 00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:59,331 but now I'm totally slim and totally happy.
- 00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:00,791 In fact, I'd say I'm a little bit trimmer
- 00:09:00,916 --> 00:09:02,543 than <i>you,</i> fat boy.
- 00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:04,127 Just kidding, Kyle.
- 00:09:04,253 --> 00:09:06,797 I made some healthy tofu pudding to celebrate.
- 00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:07,881 Who wants some?
- 00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:09,716 Me, me, me, me!
- 00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:11,552 Dude, I don't know if I'm gonna like
- 00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:13,011 the new Eric Cartman.
- 00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:14,137 Did you like the old one? - Good point.
- 00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:16,306 And now back to <i>Jesus and Pals</i>
- 00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,350 on South Park public access.
- 00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:19,810 Back to our courageous story
- 00:09:19,935 --> 00:09:21,478 of a little boy's triumph over obesity.
- 00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:23,397 Eric, <i>yea</i>, you found
- 00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:25,524 that the spirit of the Lord inside you gave you strength.
- 00:09:25,649 --> 00:09:27,859 No, actually I found a diet that totally works.
- 00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:29,695 A little boy who overcame the odds.
- 00:09:29,820 --> 00:09:31,196 Let's hear it for Eric Cartman!
- 00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:33,574 [applause]
- 00:09:33,699 --> 00:09:35,117 Well, our second guest tonight
- 00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:36,743 is a young man named Kenny McCormick,
- 00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:37,744 who is going to eat dog crap.
- 00:09:37,869 --> 00:09:40,163 Kenny?
- 00:09:40,289 --> 00:09:44,126 [dramatic music plays]
- 00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,210 [splurt]
- 00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:48,005 [all groaning]
- 00:09:48,130 --> 00:09:56,054 ♪♪
- 00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,224 [all groan]
- 00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:00,267 Yes!
- 00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:02,394 Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
- 00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:04,521 Damn it, all I got was a little golf clap.
- 00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:05,814 Thanks for coming on the show, Kenny.
- 00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,024 [muffled] Sure.
- 00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:08,191 Do it again! Do it again!
- 00:10:08,317 --> 00:10:09,318 Hey, kid, I'll give you 20 bucks
- 00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:10,902 to eat a really old piece of bacon.
- 00:10:11,028 --> 00:10:12,195 This is ridiculous!
- 00:10:12,321 --> 00:10:13,780 So, Kenny,
- 00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:16,074 how did you discover that you had this...talent?
- 00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:17,409 We thought of it, Jesus.
- 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:18,869 I mean, Kenny's the one that does it all,
- 00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:20,287 but we were the masterminds of the whole thing.
- 00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:21,872 I can't say I approve of this, my children.
- 00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:23,915 Huh? Why not?
- 00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:25,876 Because Kenny is only doing things
- 00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:27,169 that anybody could do... for money.
- 00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:29,379 He's a prostitute.
- 00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:31,465 I'll pay him 50 bucks to eat someone else's vomit.
- 00:10:31,590 --> 00:10:32,841 Yeah, go for it! Yeah!
- 00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,301 What's a prostitute? - I don't know.
- 00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:39,848 Hello, there, children.
- 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:40,849 All: Hey, Chef.
- 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,100 Chef, what's a prostitute?
- 00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:44,144 Dag nabbit, children!
- 00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:45,771 How come every time you come in here,
- 00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:48,398 you gotta be asking me questions I shouldn't be answering?
- 00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:50,609 "Chef, what's a clitoris? What's a lesbian, Chef?
- 00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:52,402 How come they call it a 'rim job,' Chef?"
- 00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:54,571 For once, can't you just come in here and say,
- 00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,365 "Hi, Chef. Nice day, isn't it?"
- 00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:57,491 Hi, Chef. Nice day, isn't it?
- 00:10:57,616 --> 00:10:59,326 It sure is. Thank you.
- 00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:01,036 Chef, what's a prostitute?
- 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,788 Unh-unh. You children are gonna get me in trouble
- 00:11:02,913 --> 00:11:04,122 with the principal again.
- 00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:05,666 Lunchtime! I'm starved!
- 00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:06,667 Oh, my God!
- 00:11:06,792 --> 00:11:08,418 Eric? - That's me.
- 00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:11,296 Chef was just about to tell us what a prostitute is.
- 00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:13,757 Why do you need to know what a prostitute is, anyway?
- 00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:15,842 Because Jesus told us that Kenny's a prostitute.
- 00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:17,469 Is he? - [muffled] Yeah, am I?
- 00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:19,721 Well, no, of course, Kenny is not a prostitute.
- 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,515 Why?
- 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:24,351 Well, because, children, a prostitute is someone who...
- 00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:26,311 You can pay for certain services.
- 00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:28,063 Like what? - Like keeping you company.
- 00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:29,981 Understand? - No.
- 00:11:30,107 --> 00:11:32,484 You see, children, sometimes a man needs to be with a woman,
- 00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:34,653 but sometimes, when the lovin' is over,
- 00:11:34,778 --> 00:11:37,989 the woman just want to talk and talk and talk and talk.
- 00:11:38,115 --> 00:11:40,534 ♪ But a prostitute is someone who would love you ♪
- 00:11:40,659 --> 00:11:44,162 ♪ No matter who you are or what you look like ♪
- 00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:46,998 Yes, it's true, children.
- 00:11:47,124 --> 00:11:48,792 ♪ That's not why you pay a prostitute ♪
- 00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:50,585 ♪ No, you don't pay for her to stay ♪
- 00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:53,338 ♪ You're paying her to leave afterward ♪
- 00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:57,008 ♪ That's why I praise the Lord for prostitutes ♪
- 00:11:57,134 --> 00:12:00,470 Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. James Taylor!
- 00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:02,597 ♪ A prostitute is like any other woman ♪
- 00:12:02,723 --> 00:12:04,182 ♪ They all trade something for sex ♪
- 00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:06,852 ♪ And they do it well ♪
- 00:12:06,977 --> 00:12:08,353 ♪ That's why I say ♪
- 00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:09,938 Both: ♪ Prostitutes, prostitutes ♪
- 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,648 ♪ They-♪ Ohh!
- 00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:12,858 [music stops]
- 00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:17,320 James Taylor, what the hell you doing in here,
- 00:12:17,446 --> 00:12:19,322 singing about prostitutes to the children?
- 00:12:19,448 --> 00:12:20,866 Get out of here!
- 00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:24,578 These children tricked me!
- 00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:28,331 [panting]
- 00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:34,838 Oh, there you are.
- 00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:36,506 Alright, I got the goods --
- 00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:38,508 some candy bars, a few donuts, and some beef gravy.
- 00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:40,469 Is anyone starting to suspect anything?
- 00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:42,387 Nobody. Your mom even thinks I'm a skinny you.
- 00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:44,264 Awesome. Alright, throw it over.
- 00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:45,724 Uh-uh, one thing. I want a bigger cut.
- 00:12:45,849 --> 00:12:47,058 What? - I'm the one risking my ass,
- 00:12:47,184 --> 00:12:48,560 running around in that stupid town
- 00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:49,644 pretending to be you and collecting all the food
- 00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:51,480 to bring up here.
- 00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:52,773 All you have to do is sit back and sell it to the fat kids!
- 00:12:52,898 --> 00:12:54,149 Alright, alright, keep your voice down!
- 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,317 I'll bump you up to 10%.
- 00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,027 20%. - Suck my balls, 20%!
- 00:12:57,152 --> 00:12:58,236 Fine. Then I shall bid you good day.
- 00:12:58,361 --> 00:12:59,946 Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- 00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:01,490 Fine, 20%, but just remember that your parents think
- 00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:02,908 you're at the drug rehab center next door.
- 00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,576 You blow your cover, and we're both screwed.
- 00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:11,208 You guys! You have to check this tape out!
- 00:13:11,333 --> 00:13:13,418 Hey, we're trying to study. Finals are tomorrow.
- 00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:14,961 No, dude, check this out!
- 00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:17,088 It's this kid who does all kinds of crazy stuff.
- 00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:19,925 Check it out!
- 00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:21,635 He jumped into a portapotty at a construction site
- 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,094 and stayed there for four days!
- 00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:24,179 All: Whoa!
- 00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:28,141 [splat] [Kenny groans]
- 00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:29,851 Oh, gross! - Sick!
- 00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:31,061 That's awesome!
- 00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:32,896 Hey, guys, check this out!
- 00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:39,611 Get ready for <i>THE KRAZY KENNY SHOW</i>!!!
- 00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:41,279 and now here's your host,
- 00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:43,740 the kid who will do anything to himself for money...
- 00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:47,452 Kra-a-a-a-zy Kenny!
- 00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:48,745 [applause]
- 00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:49,913 Kenny, through the past weeks,
- 00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,665 we've seen you eat mice,
- 00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:53,500 pretend to kill newborn babies to shock their mothers,
- 00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:55,168 and wash your hair with battery acid.
- 00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:56,753 The question on all our minds is,
- 00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:58,296 what are you gonna do next?
- 00:13:58,421 --> 00:13:59,297 [applause]
- 00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:01,925 [muffled]
- 00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:04,427 Oh, ho ho! You heard him, folks.
- 00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:07,764 Kenny is going to give a sensual, full-body massage
- 00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:10,016 to his own grandfather!
- 00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:12,102 Oh, ho! Whoo-hoo!
- 00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:22,946 [lotion squishing]
- 00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:26,032 [all groaning]
- 00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:29,286 Wow, this is Kenny's best show ever!
- 00:14:29,411 --> 00:14:30,912 This is so juvenile.
- 00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:32,330 Cartman, what the hell's the matter with you?
- 00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:34,165 Yeah, you've gotten lame since you got skinny. What's up?
- 00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:35,500 Nothing.
- 00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:36,835 Can I have some licorice to take home?
- 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,255 Alright, campers, good work today.
- 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:41,798 Lights out, and we'll see you tomorrow
- 00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:42,924 for more exercise and proper diet.
- 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:46,761 All "beddy-byes" for the night, are they?
- 00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:48,555 I don't know what we're doing wrong, Susan.
- 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,015 These kids aren't losing the weight.
- 00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:51,850 We'll just have to give them more time.
- 00:14:51,975 --> 00:14:53,351 They'll do it. - They'll do it!
- 00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:54,853 They'll do it!
- 00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:58,106 Alright, they're gone.
- 00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:02,027 The Cartman Store is open!
- 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:07,032 Two donuts and a pack of licorice, please.
- 00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:09,492 Two donuts and a pack of licorice.
- 00:15:09,618 --> 00:15:10,952 Hello, tony. The usual?
- 00:15:12,704 --> 00:15:14,789 [sobbing]
- 00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:16,207 Why are you crying, Chad?
- 00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:18,209 'Cause I'm always gonna be fat.
- 00:15:18,335 --> 00:15:21,004 I don't wanna eat no sweets, but I can't control myself
- 00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:23,173 when they're right in front of me like this.
- 00:15:23,298 --> 00:15:24,591 [sobbing]
- 00:15:24,716 --> 00:15:26,259 All my life, I've been fat.
- 00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:27,844 I've been to seven camps,
- 00:15:27,969 --> 00:15:30,055 and I swore to my mama that I'd lose the weight.
- 00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:33,016 I want to, but I can't help myself.
- 00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:35,560 [sobbing]
- 00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:37,062 Hey, Chad.
- 00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:39,189 You know what you need? You need a friend.
- 00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:40,732 [sniffles] I do?
- 00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:41,733 Yes...
- 00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,276 A chocolate friend.
- 00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:45,445 [sobs]
- 00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:47,739 Mr. Candy Bar doesn't judge you, Chad.
- 00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:50,200 Mr. Candy Bar likes you just the way you are.
- 00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:52,285 Look at how yummy and sweet he is.
- 00:15:52,410 --> 00:15:54,663 [sobbing]
- 00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,208 There you go.
- 00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:00,752 That'll just be $4.
- 00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:02,462 [crying]
- 00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:05,882 There you go.
- 00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:07,425 This week on pay-per-view,
- 00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:09,302 Krazy Kenny will crawl up into a woman's uterus
- 00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:11,012 and stay there for six hours.
- 00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:12,847 Don't miss this once-in-a-lifetime event.
- 00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:13,890 Order now!
- 00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:17,185 Alright, so we're back
- 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,436 talking to three competing celebrities:
- 00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:20,188 Tom Green, Johnny Knoxville from MTV's <i>Jackass,</i>
- 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,940 and Krazy Kenny. - Hey, Howard.
- 00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:23,233 Krazy Kenny is here to promote
- 00:16:23,358 --> 00:16:24,901 his pay-per-view special this week,
- 00:16:25,026 --> 00:16:27,946 where he will crawl up into a bus driver's uterus
- 00:16:28,071 --> 00:16:29,239 and stay there for six hours.
- 00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:30,699 Wow.
- 00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:32,450 Now, some people think that all you guys do
- 00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:34,327 is perform sick and disgusting acts
- 00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:36,371 for shock value and money, which makes you whores.
- 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,373 But I'd like to prove them wrong,
- 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:41,710 so what I'm gonna do is offer each of you $50,000
- 00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:43,294 to give me oral sex right now.
- 00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:44,379 I'm in. - Me too.
- 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:45,588 - [muffled] And me. Oh!
- 00:16:45,714 --> 00:16:46,506 Fine, I'll do it for 40, then.
- 00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:47,674 30 - 20.
- 00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:49,426 [muffled] 10 bucks.
- 00:16:49,551 --> 00:16:50,343 Ooh, the kid says he'll do it for 10 bucks.
- 00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:51,594 Damn it, I'm out. - Me too.
- 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:52,721 I guess he is the biggest whore.
- 00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:53,763 Alright let's get going, then.
- 00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:54,681 Can we cut the cameras?
- 00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:58,226 And we're gonna reach for the sky...
- 00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:00,186 [all grunt] and down to the ground.
- 00:17:00,311 --> 00:17:01,813 [all grunt] and up to the sky.
- 00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:02,939 [all grunt]
- 00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:05,900 and down to the ground.
- 00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:08,153 Please, Mr. Sanders. - No, I have had it!
- 00:17:08,278 --> 00:17:09,612 What's happening?
- 00:17:09,738 --> 00:17:11,114 Horace's parents want to take him home.
- 00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:12,907 Oh, but he's not ready yet.
- 00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:14,868 Look at what you've done to my boy!
- 00:17:14,993 --> 00:17:17,412 You told Horace that he was responsible for his weight.
- 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,789 You made him believe that with exercise and proper diet,
- 00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:21,124 he could be thin,
- 00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:23,293 when we told you that it was his genetics.
- 00:17:23,418 --> 00:17:24,836 They can lose the weight if they try.
- 00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:26,087 Look at these kids!
- 00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:27,630 They're not getting any thinner!
- 00:17:27,756 --> 00:17:28,715 Your camp is a fraud.
- 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:30,258 You need to accept the fact
- 00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,635 that most fat people are just genetically fat.
- 00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:34,679 Please, sir, if you give us one more week--
- 00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:35,722 Your time is up!
- 00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:37,307 Yeah, your time is up.
- 00:17:37,432 --> 00:17:39,309 And I'm going to call all the other parents
- 00:17:39,434 --> 00:17:41,186 and tell them to come claim their kids as well.
- 00:17:41,311 --> 00:17:42,729 Your camp was a waste of time!
- 00:17:42,854 --> 00:17:44,397 But Dad, I-- - What?
- 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,485 Nothing.
- 00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:49,527 We're in trouble, Rick.
- 00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:55,075 Alright, Ms. Crabtree, is it comfortable enough?
- 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:56,743 How long have I gotta sit here?
- 00:17:56,868 --> 00:17:57,911 Six hours.
- 00:17:58,036 --> 00:17:59,245 Hell, I'll do six hours
- 00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:01,039 for the 500 bucks you're paying me.
- 00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:02,749 Great. - You guys, it's Kenny!
- 00:18:02,874 --> 00:18:04,417 He's been arrested for prostitution in New York.
- 00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:05,627 For what?
- 00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:06,878 For giving Howard Stern a hummer.
- 00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:08,588 What's a hummer? - I don't know!
- 00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:10,381 All I know is, Kenny's in jail for at least three months!
- 00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:11,674 Three months?
- 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:12,634 But the pay-per-view is tomorrow!
- 00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:14,010 I know!
- 00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:18,598 We've worked so hard, come so close.
- 00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:19,974 Now we'll never see Kenny
- 00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,476 crawl up into Ms. Crabtree's uterus.
- 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,853 You know, maybe we've all learned something here.
- 00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:25,313 I mean, we set Kenny up
- 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:26,981 to further and further himself each time,
- 00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:28,525 having to always outdo himself.
- 00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:30,318 Now he's in jail for being a whore,
- 00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:33,029 and perhaps, just perhaps, we are to blame.
- 00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:36,116 Alright, that does it!
- 00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:38,326 This has been bothering the hell out of me.
- 00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,537 I knew it! You're not Cartman at all!
- 00:18:40,662 --> 00:18:41,454 Uh-oh.
- 00:18:44,541 --> 00:18:46,376 [applause]
- 00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:47,961 Well, we've seen him do
- 00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:49,671 just about every disgusting thing in the book,
- 00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:51,631 and today, live on pay-per-view,
- 00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:54,217 Krazy Kenny is going to crawl into a woman's uterus
- 00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:55,969 for six hours!
- 00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:57,846 [applause]
- 00:18:57,971 --> 00:18:59,681 Well, Ms. Crabtree, your cervix has been dilated,
- 00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:01,141 your womb equipped with oxygen.
- 00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:02,142 How do you feel?
- 00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:03,768 I feel great!
- 00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:05,478 I haven't had this much attention paid to my cooch
- 00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:07,147 since I was 16!
- 00:19:07,272 --> 00:19:08,690 All: Hooray!
- 00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,150 Well, let's bring out the man of the hour.
- 00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:11,901 You know him as--
- 00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:13,862 Don't worry, dude, you're gonna do great.
- 00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:15,155 No way. I'm not doing this.
- 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:16,739 Oh, you're doing it,
- 00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:18,199 or else we're gonna bust your whole scheme wide-open
- 00:19:18,324 --> 00:19:19,617 and tell your mom you haven't actually been
- 00:19:19,742 --> 00:19:20,952 at your drug rehab this whole time.
- 00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:22,537 But this isn't fair! - Deal, druggie.
- 00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:24,497 [muffled]
- 00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:26,708 And here he is, Kenny McCormick!
- 00:19:31,546 --> 00:19:34,549 [squishing]
- 00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:35,842 We can watch him on the monitors.
- 00:19:35,967 --> 00:19:38,469 How you doing in there, Kenny?
- 00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:41,306 That's my boy.
- 00:19:41,431 --> 00:19:42,682 Good-bye, Chad.
- 00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:44,559 We'll be wanting a refund, naturally.
- 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,728 Naturally. - Good-bye, Alice.
- 00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,438 Good-bye. Thank you.
- 00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:50,273 Oh, don't thank us. We failed you.
- 00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:52,692 65, 66, 67...
- 00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:55,236 Wait a second. This isn't right.
- 00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,946 Hmm? Hmm?
- 00:19:57,071 --> 00:19:58,907 It's time for me to be responsible for my own actions.
- 00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:01,743 Mom, Dad, we've been eating candy this whole time.
- 00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:03,953 Eric Cartman's been sneaking in junk food.
- 00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:06,039 Eh, shut up, you heif, Chad.
- 00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:07,415 No, he's right.
- 00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:08,499 The counselors been doing a good job.
- 00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:09,709 We've just been cheating.
- 00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:11,127 Kids: Yeah.
- 00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:12,545 I believe I <i>can</i> lose the weight
- 00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:13,963 with exercise and proper diet.
- 00:20:14,088 --> 00:20:15,632 I don't want to make excuses no more.
- 00:20:15,757 --> 00:20:17,967 Me neither! - All: Yeah!
- 00:20:18,092 --> 00:20:20,470 If you take us back, we promise we won't cheat.
- 00:20:20,595 --> 00:20:22,722 Well, it's alright with me. Parents?
- 00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:25,225 Well, what the heck?
- 00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:26,643 Maybe when you're all done,
- 00:20:26,768 --> 00:20:28,603 you can teach me a thing or two, huh, son?
- 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:30,730 You know, you guys are right.
- 00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:33,107 I'm sick of being the fat kid too.
- 00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:35,109 I've been making excuses all my life,
- 00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:37,820 but I know deep down that if I took responsibility
- 00:20:37,946 --> 00:20:40,114 and really tried hard, if we all try together,
- 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,075 we really can lose the weight!
- 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,035 Oh, no, not you. You're not welcome here anymore.
- 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:44,994 All: Yeah!
- 00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:47,288 What? - Buh-bye.
- 00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:48,915 [kids cheering]
- 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:51,042 Well, screw you, fat-asses!
- 00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:54,963 [sobbing]
- 00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:59,676 All: 4, 3, 2, 1!
- 00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:02,136 He did it! Come on out, Kenny.
- 00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:05,723 You made it six hours, Kenny. Come on out of there.
- 00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:08,309 Ms. Crabtree, maybe you could give him a little push.
- 00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:09,394 [grunting]
- 00:21:09,519 --> 00:21:12,230 [all groaning]
- 00:21:12,355 --> 00:21:15,024 All: Ew!
- 00:21:15,149 --> 00:21:16,401 He's dead.
- 00:21:16,526 --> 00:21:18,152 The pressure must have killed him.
- 00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:20,863 I told you I was a tight virgin flower!
- 00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:23,116 Oh, my God! They killed Kenny...sort of.
- 00:21:23,241 --> 00:21:25,576 Yeah, they kind of killed Kenny's...look-alike.
- 00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:27,328 You bastards!
- 00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,747 Well, he gave his life for our amusement.
- 00:21:29,872 --> 00:21:31,708 One little boy who dared to be different:
- 00:21:31,833 --> 00:21:36,462 let us never forget Kenny McCormick.
- 00:21:36,587 --> 00:21:38,631 Who is that?
- 00:21:38,756 --> 00:21:40,800 ♪ A prostitute is someone who would love you ♪
- 00:21:40,925 --> 00:21:44,470 ♪ No matter who you are or what you look like ♪
- 00:21:44,595 --> 00:21:47,223 Yes, it's true, children.
- 00:21:47,348 --> 00:21:49,350 ♪ That's not why you pay a prostitute ♪
- 00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:51,060 ♪ No, you don't pay for her to stay ♪
- 00:21:51,185 --> 00:21:53,980 ♪ You're paying her to leave afterward ♪
- 00:21:54,105 --> 00:21:57,608 ♪ That's why I praise the Lord for prostitutes ♪
Скриншоты
