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Хелен Келлер! Мюзикл
Helen Keller! The Musical
Сезон: 04Серия: 13
Описание
Четвёртый класс хочет сделать на основе постановки про Хеллен Келлер мюзикл. Тимми заводит себе индюшку-инвалида.
Субтитры
- 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:10,386 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,054 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,889 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:14,015 --> 00:00:15,391 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:16,892 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:17,018 --> 00:00:18,853 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:20,354 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:22,023 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
- 00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:23,691 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
- 00:00:23,816 --> 00:00:25,151 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:30,281 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:30,823 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,578 Doctor, doctor, will our daughter be okay?
- 00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:37,329 I am sorry, Mr. And Mrs. Keller,
- 00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:38,873 but I'm afraid your daughter Helen
- 00:00:38,998 --> 00:00:40,833 still cannot see, hear or speak.
- 00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:42,334 Oh, no, no!
- 00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:43,919 Ere, ere my good ife.
- 00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:45,504 There is nothing we can do.
- 00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:47,089 Oh, my poor little Helen!
- 00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:48,549 Timmy!
- 00:00:48,674 --> 00:00:50,301 She can't see or hear us, John!
- 00:00:50,426 --> 00:00:51,719 Hagh, Timmy!
- 00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:54,013 Es, erhaps she shoul go do an asyluh.
- 00:00:54,138 --> 00:00:56,182 Stan, what the hell is wrong with you, I can't understand your lines!
- 00:00:56,307 --> 00:00:58,059 Cuz de eard urts my face!
- 00:00:58,184 --> 00:01:00,061 Can we take a lunch break now?
- 00:01:00,186 --> 00:01:01,854 No, if we want our play to be better than the kindergartner's play,
- 00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:03,564 we have to rehearse as much as possible!
- 00:01:03,689 --> 00:01:04,899 Now let's continue the scene!
- 00:01:05,024 --> 00:01:06,609 Hello, my name is Anne Sullivan
- 00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:09,320 and I believe I can teach this child to communicate.
- 00:01:09,445 --> 00:01:10,821 Eally, you hink so?
- 00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:13,824 Water, Helen, wa-ter.
- 00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:15,367 Hagh, Timmy!
- 00:01:15,493 --> 00:01:17,119 Dammit, Timmy, Helen Keller isn't supposed to talk!
- 00:01:19,705 --> 00:01:21,207 You guys, we've got a big problem!
- 00:01:21,332 --> 00:01:22,917 What is it, Butters?
- 00:01:23,042 --> 00:01:24,960 The kindergartners, I just came from their dress rehearsal!
- 00:01:25,086 --> 00:01:26,837 Oh it's good, you guys, it's real good!
- 00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:28,172 How good?
- 00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:30,257 They've got Pilgrim outfits and Indian ones too!
- 00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:32,676 They've got singing and dancing, and boy, you've never seen such a show!
- 00:01:32,802 --> 00:01:34,637 Why, it's a Thanksgiving extravaganza!
- 00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:35,930 Oh no!
- 00:01:36,055 --> 00:01:37,515 We can't be outdone by the kindergartners!
- 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:38,766 No! - We can't!
- 00:01:38,891 --> 00:01:40,309 Alright, alright, quiet down!
- 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:41,977 Look, we've still got four days until the Thanksgiving festival.
- 00:01:42,103 --> 00:01:43,979 That's plenty of time to revamp our play!
- 00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:45,815 Revamp how, the rules are that the fourth-grade class
- 00:01:45,940 --> 00:01:47,525 has to perform "The Helen Keller story"!
- 00:01:47,650 --> 00:01:49,193 Yeah, but nobody told us <i>how</i> we have to do it.
- 00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:51,320 We can add Thanksgiving stuff and music numbers too!
- 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,155 Well, we can add music numbers,
- 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,282 but how do we make the Helen Keller story more Thanksgiving-y?
- 00:01:55,407 --> 00:01:56,826 I know, how about instead of a dog...
- 00:01:56,951 --> 00:01:58,494 Helen Keller has a pet turkey!
- 00:01:58,619 --> 00:01:59,912 Yeah, a turkey that can do tricks!
- 00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:01,497 Yeah! - That's the spirit, gang!
- 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,457 Alright, Stan and Wendy, you go out and find some musical instruments!
- 00:02:03,582 --> 00:02:05,084 Kenny and Clyde take some kids
- 00:02:05,209 --> 00:02:06,961 and buy some Thanksgiving decorations for the sets!
- 00:02:07,086 --> 00:02:08,879 Kyle and Timmy, you go out and find a turkey!
- 00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:11,006 This is gonna be the best version of "The Miracle Worker" ever!
- 00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:11,924 Yea! Yea!
- 00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:17,012 What kind of turkey are you looking for?
- 00:02:17,138 --> 00:02:19,056 A smart one that can do tricks!
- 00:02:19,181 --> 00:02:21,851 Well, I ain't got a whole lot left, it being almost Thanksgiving and all.
- 00:02:21,976 --> 00:02:23,394 But go ahead, just pick one out.
- 00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:31,610 Timmy!
- 00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,029 Oh, that one's a little messed up.
- 00:02:34,155 --> 00:02:35,656 Not exactly the pick of the litter.
- 00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:37,116 Hahgh!
- 00:02:37,241 --> 00:02:38,909 Uh, Timmy, if we go back to other kids with that turkey,
- 00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:40,286 they're gonna be pissed.
- 00:02:40,411 --> 00:02:41,620 Timmy!
- 00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:43,372 Yeah, best you not take that one.
- 00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,207 I was just about to take it out in the yard and put a bullet in its head.
- 00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:47,042 What, aw, dude, don't say that!
- 00:02:47,168 --> 00:02:48,586 Timmy, Timmy!
- 00:02:48,711 --> 00:02:51,005 Alright, we'll take him, how much? - Fifty bucks.
- 00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:53,132 But you were just gonna take it in the backyard and put a bullet in its head!
- 00:02:53,257 --> 00:02:55,509 I know, now I gotta find something else to shoot!
- 00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:57,136 Goddammit, here!
- 00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:02,474 Alright, Timmy, let's go.
- 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,059 I've got a one-legged pig if you'd like, too.
- 00:03:04,185 --> 00:03:05,477 Aw, blow it out your ass!
- 00:03:08,272 --> 00:03:10,316 Guys, I want you all to meet Geoffrey Maynard.
- 00:03:10,441 --> 00:03:12,401 He's South Park's biggest expert on musical theater
- 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,653 and he played the lead in <i>Les Miserables</i>
- 00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:17,656 at the Denver community playhouse for five weeks!
- 00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:20,201 Do you think we can make up a good Thanksgiving play in four days?
- 00:03:20,326 --> 00:03:22,036 ♪ I would swear it on my life ♪
- 00:03:22,161 --> 00:03:23,954 ♪ Your play shall want for nothing ♪
- 00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:25,831 Hooray! Hooray!
- 00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:28,751 Now, the first thing any good musical needs is a big opening number!
- 00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:31,128 Something that sets up the entire show.
- 00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:33,923 Alright, places everybody, bring in the turkey!
- 00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:40,346 What the hell is that?
- 00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:42,348 It's a turkey.
- 00:03:43,933 --> 00:03:45,226 His name is Gobbles.
- 00:03:45,351 --> 00:03:47,144 Gobbles!
- 00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:50,022 And where, pray, is our beautiful trick-performing turkey?
- 00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:53,567 Um, we sort of spent all the money on this one.
- 00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:54,235 Gobbles!
- 00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,239 Kyle, can I talk to you over here for a second?
- 00:04:00,950 --> 00:04:02,284 Kyle, why do you do these things to me?
- 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:03,994 I didn't do anything to you!
- 00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:05,287 Timmy saw the turkey and wanted to get it.
- 00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:06,914 What did you want me to say to him?
- 00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:09,291 You say "no, Timmy, you can't have that turkey, bad Timmy!"
- 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,377 Look, I know it isn't exactly what we wanted, but maybe we can train it.
- 00:04:11,502 --> 00:04:13,379 He's not gonna work, Kyle.
- 00:04:13,504 --> 00:04:15,214 The whole point is to make our play better than the kindergartners!
- 00:04:15,339 --> 00:04:16,715 Yeah, that turkey sucks.
- 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:17,967 Wait...
- 00:04:18,092 --> 00:04:19,426 ♪ What's that you say ♪
- 00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:21,053 ♪ A Thanksgiving turkey is what you require ♪
- 00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:22,304 ♪ I know of a turkey ♪
- 00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:23,639 You do?!
- 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,266 ♪ During my years on Broadway ♪
- 00:04:25,391 --> 00:04:27,685 ♪ I worked with a turkey that could do all kinds of tricks ♪
- 00:04:27,810 --> 00:04:30,062 ♪ She even jumped through a hoop of fire ♪
- 00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:31,647 Cool, can you get it for us?
- 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,899 ♪ I will go promptly and call her trainer ♪
- 00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:36,360 ♪ On the morrow you shall have your trick performing turkey ♪♪
- 00:04:36,485 --> 00:04:37,194 Alright! Alright!
- 00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,575 Gobbles!
- 00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:48,747 Gobbles!
- 00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:58,590 Ergh, ergh.
- 00:04:58,716 --> 00:05:00,884 Hargh, gobbles!
- 00:05:05,431 --> 00:05:07,224 Gobbles.
- 00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:11,395 Gobbles!
- 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,693 No, no, no!
- 00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:20,321 Poopsiekins, it's late, you need to be in bed.
- 00:05:20,446 --> 00:05:22,781 I can't sleep, Mom, I have to write the lyrics to the opening song
- 00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:24,533 of our Helen Keller Thanksgiving spectacular.
- 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:25,784 Now, hon.
- 00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:27,286 But Mom!
- 00:05:27,411 --> 00:05:28,829 I have to write these lyrics so the plight of Helen Keller
- 00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:30,914 can be realized by the common ma-an!
- 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:32,583 Twenty more minutes and that's it.
- 00:05:32,708 --> 00:05:35,210 Twenty minutes, did Tim Rice's mom give him twenty minutes
- 00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:36,337 to write the lyrics to <i>Phantom of the Opera?!</i>
- 00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:41,508 Speak to me, Helen.
- 00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:43,761 Let me be your voice.
- 00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:46,347 Come on, you blind bitch, channel your spirit through me!
- 00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:14,249 Tonight, we present the story of a courageous girl
- 00:06:14,375 --> 00:06:16,085 and her fight against depression.
- 00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,127 Oppression!
- 00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:18,379 Oppression.
- 00:06:18,504 --> 00:06:20,172 Our play begins in a simpler time.
- 00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:22,091 Alabama, in the late 1800s...
- 00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:25,177 ♪ 1800s ♪
- 00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:26,261 ♪ Alabama ♪
- 00:06:26,387 --> 00:06:27,763 ♪ What a great place in time ♪
- 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,515 ♪ We're so happy that we live in 1800s Alabama ♪
- 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:31,725 ♪ 'cause it's sunny and there is no crime ♪
- 00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:33,310 Now to the refrain!
- 00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:34,978 ♪ And in our little town of 1800s Alabama ♪
- 00:06:35,104 --> 00:06:37,064 ♪ There's a family by the name of Keller ♪
- 00:06:37,189 --> 00:06:38,774 ♪ Their daughter's deaf and mute and blind as a bat ♪
- 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,318 ♪ And her parents can't even tell her ♪
- 00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:44,029 Excuse me, I am Lamonde, the animal trainer.
- 00:06:44,154 --> 00:06:45,656 Oh cool, he's here!
- 00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:48,033 Awesome, do you have a turkey that can do tricks?!
- 00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:49,868 Ahp, ahp, do not call them "tricks".
- 00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:51,787 She's a very sensitive turkey,
- 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,956 and she performs "feats" not "tricks".
- 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:57,126 Ladies and gentlemen, may I present the most beautiful bird in America.
- 00:06:57,251 --> 00:07:00,129 Four-time prize winner at the National Western Stock Show
- 00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:02,840 and reigning poster child of turkeylovers.com.
- 00:07:02,965 --> 00:07:04,758 I give you... Alinicia!
- 00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:08,470 Oooh! Wow! Whoa!
- 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,222 Her feathers are beautiful!
- 00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:12,015 That's the prettiest turkey I ever saw.
- 00:07:12,141 --> 00:07:13,434 Of course she is.
- 00:07:15,144 --> 00:07:17,020 Okay, now we can really get this thing underway!
- 00:07:17,146 --> 00:07:18,689 Places, everybody, where the hell is Timmy?
- 00:07:18,814 --> 00:07:20,399 Timmy!
- 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,320 What is that?
- 00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:27,823 Uh, that's Gobbles, the physically challenged turkey.
- 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,453 Gobbles!
- 00:07:32,578 --> 00:07:34,288 Gobbles?
- 00:07:34,413 --> 00:07:35,956 Timmy, we already got a turkey.
- 00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,624 Yeah, and it's from Broadway!
- 00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:39,793 Gobbles!
- 00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:42,254 No, Timmy, the handicapped turkey does not go in our play!
- 00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:44,047 Dude, don't forget, Timmy's the only kid who can play Helen Keller.
- 00:07:44,173 --> 00:07:45,299 Don't piss him off.
- 00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:46,758 That's right, only Timmy knows the part.
- 00:07:46,884 --> 00:07:48,218 Timmy.
- 00:07:48,343 --> 00:07:49,761 Oh, Jesus, okay, fine!
- 00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:51,430 Helen Keller can have two pet turkeys!
- 00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:56,143 My turkey does not work with other turkeys!
- 00:07:56,268 --> 00:07:57,769 Oh, goddammit, now what are we gonna do?
- 00:08:05,861 --> 00:08:07,112 Alright, alright.
- 00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:08,739 Alright, alright!
- 00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:10,657 Dude, we need your turkey for our play!
- 00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,701 She's not coming out, she's very upset.
- 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,328 She's pooped all over the room.
- 00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:15,787 I know, I know, but listen.
- 00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:17,372 Let me try to explain the position I'm in here.
- 00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:19,208 The retarded turkey belongs to our friend Timmy,
- 00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:21,293 and Timmy is the only person who knows the part of Helen Keller.
- 00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,170 So tell me what I can do here to make everybody happy.
- 00:08:23,295 --> 00:08:25,881 Kill the other turkey.
- 00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,716 I can't, dude, Timmy has a boner for it.
- 00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,134 Well, it could meet with an...
- 00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:30,761 ...unfortunate accident.
- 00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:32,095 Unfortunate accident?
- 00:08:32,221 --> 00:08:33,722 You mean like Geena Davis getting her own T.V. Show?
- 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,224 Ha ha ha-- oh...
- 00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:36,892 It's very simple.
- 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,393 Either that turkey meets with an unfortunate accident,
- 00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:40,854 or you don't have a feat-performing turkey
- 00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:42,147 for your Helen Keller Thanksgiving musical!
- 00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:44,358 Alright, alright, just get your turkey
- 00:08:44,483 --> 00:08:47,027 to stop crapping all over the dressing room and come out for rehearsal.
- 00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:48,487 I'll take care of everything.
- 00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:51,240 Water, Helen, it has a name!
- 00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:53,408 Oh, why can't you understand?!
- 00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:55,702 Duh, agh!
- 00:08:55,827 --> 00:08:57,329 ♪ Wat-er he-len wa-ter ♪
- 00:08:57,454 --> 00:08:58,455 ♪ She's never gonna do it ♪
- 00:08:58,580 --> 00:08:59,831 ♪ There's no way she'll ever do it ♪
- 00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:01,875 ♪ Spell it Helen water Helen ♪
- 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:02,960 ♪ How can she talk if she can't hear ♪
- 00:09:03,085 --> 00:09:04,503 ♪ This is absolutely pointless ♪
- 00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:05,921 Okay, uh, hold it!
- 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,548 Let's hold it right there a second.
- 00:09:07,673 --> 00:09:10,092 Okay, I just want to adjust some of the blocking real quick.
- 00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:11,802 Let's see...
- 00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:13,804 Uh, why don't we have turkey number two
- 00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:16,932 stand just a little more over m'yha...
- 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:20,143 Let's see, maybe a little bit more up in m'yha...
- 00:09:20,269 --> 00:09:23,772 And just a wee bit over m'yha...
- 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,817 And right about...
- 00:09:26,942 --> 00:09:28,860 M'hya.
- 00:09:28,986 --> 00:09:31,029 There we go, good.
- 00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:37,995 Oh my gah, they killed Kenny!
- 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:39,454 Ooohhh!
- 00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:40,956 Crap, I must have rigged the wrong light.
- 00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:43,250 ♪ Let him rest ♪
- 00:09:43,375 --> 00:09:46,003 ♪ In peace let him rest ♪
- 00:09:46,128 --> 00:09:48,130 ♪ Why must he die... ♪
- 00:09:51,174 --> 00:09:52,759 They've got special effects!
- 00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:54,344 What, Butters?
- 00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:56,305 The kindergartners, they've got amazing stage effects!
- 00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:57,973 Pyrotechnics and what have yous!
- 00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,474 Why, it's a regular feast for the eyes!
- 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:00,475 Oh no!
- 00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:01,935 We're never gonna outdo them now!
- 00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:03,270 Oh no! Special effects?!
- 00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:04,980 Calm down, calm down!
- 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,481 We can have special effects too!
- 00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:08,025 Now I know a lot is going wrong,
- 00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:09,860 but we've got to stick together to make this play work.
- 00:10:09,985 --> 00:10:11,862 All of us.
- 00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:14,448 ♪ And into your hands... ♪
- 00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,248 Gobbles!
- 00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:25,000 Aaahh, Gobbles!
- 00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:27,878 Little boy!
- 00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:29,171 Timmy.
- 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:30,589 Yes, Tim.
- 00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:32,382 I feel I must speak with you.
- 00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:34,968 The others, well, they don't want you to know, but--
- 00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:36,845 oh, I don't know what to do, should I tell you?
- 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,263 Timmy?
- 00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:40,474 I feel I'm the only one who can be honest with you.
- 00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:44,186 The animal shelter is on its way to take your turkey away from you.
- 00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:45,604 Gobbles?!
- 00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:48,607 You see, they don't allow children in your "situation"
- 00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:50,734 to have wild animals as pets.
- 00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:52,944 You can't take him running, you can't take care of him.
- 00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:54,821 They have to take it away.
- 00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:56,323 Gobbles!
- 00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:58,533 They take wild pets away from people like you
- 00:10:58,659 --> 00:11:01,244 and hand them over for experiments.
- 00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:04,873 And they're shocked, dissected and flayed
- 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,958 while they're still alive.
- 00:11:07,084 --> 00:11:09,628 And no matter where you go the shelter people will find you.
- 00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:12,464 The only way for that turkey to avoid years of torture,
- 00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:16,009 is for you to let him go, back into the wild.
- 00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:18,387 Oh no, here they come now!
- 00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:21,598 Quick, go and set your turkey free!
- 00:11:21,723 --> 00:11:22,891 I'll try to stall them.
- 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,143 Timmy!
- 00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:27,979 Excuse me, we're here to install the water effects for the musical.
- 00:11:28,105 --> 00:11:29,815 The stage is right through there.
- 00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,191 Thanks.
- 00:11:35,821 --> 00:11:37,447 Alright, I've got to write the new lyrics.
- 00:11:37,572 --> 00:11:39,324 Let's see...
- 00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:41,159 No, no!
- 00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:42,994 Goddammit!
- 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,287 ♪ How is it going Eric ♪
- 00:11:44,413 --> 00:11:46,164 Terrible, I can't write the lyrics for the third act.
- 00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:48,083 Nothing's coming to me!
- 00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,085 Well, you know, in theater sometimes we try different tricks
- 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:51,628 to get the creative juices flowing.
- 00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,088 Like what?
- 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,257 Let's see, Helen Keller was blind and deaf,
- 00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,467 perhaps you should see what it is like.
- 00:11:57,592 --> 00:11:59,219 ♪ Deprive yourself of your senses ♪
- 00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:01,596 ♪ And see what plays inside your mind ♪
- 00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:02,431 Here.
- 00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:04,015 Hey, that's not a bad idea.
- 00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:05,892 ♪ Just relax ♪
- 00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:08,228 ♪ Just try to let your mind wander and let the juices flow ♪
- 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,423 Oh, man!
- 00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:38,091 Well, did you see anything?
- 00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:40,051 No, just the same old crap I always see when I close my eyes.
- 00:12:40,177 --> 00:12:41,678 Oh, that's too bad.
- 00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:43,388 Wait, I've got it!
- 00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,640 The perfect setup for when Helen Keller's pet turkey
- 00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:47,017 jumps through the hoop of fire!
- 00:12:47,142 --> 00:12:48,351 Yes!
- 00:12:48,477 --> 00:12:49,060 Yes, I have it now!
- 00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:57,277 The only way for that turkey to avoid years of torture,
- 00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:59,613 is for you to let him go.
- 00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:01,114 Let him go... Let him go.
- 00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:06,828 Gobbles.
- 00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:11,208 Gobbles!
- 00:13:13,794 --> 00:13:15,128 Gobbles.
- 00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:17,005 Gobbles!
- 00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,510 Gobbles!
- 00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:24,846 Timmy.
- 00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,181 Timmy, Gobbles.
- 00:13:36,274 --> 00:13:39,152 Daddy, why did mommy leave and go to heaven?
- 00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:41,988 She didn't want to, Kevin, she had no choice.
- 00:13:42,113 --> 00:13:44,032 But I miss her.
- 00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:50,080 I could have done so much more with my life, son.
- 00:13:50,205 --> 00:13:51,581 I've wasted it.
- 00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:53,291 I've wasted it.
- 00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:55,210 Not ever telling you and Monica
- 00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,087 I love you.
- 00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:01,299 Robbie!
- 00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:03,385 Robbie, no!
- 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:06,888 Because now every time I look at you...
- 00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:09,015 I see her.
- 00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:10,809 I have to move on.
- 00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:12,227 Kelly, please, don't do this.
- 00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,520 I'm sorry!
- 00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:15,313 Then why did you do it?
- 00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:17,107 I don't know!
- 00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:23,488 Have you done the right things in your life?
- 00:14:32,497 --> 00:14:33,748 Hi, Sheila!
- 00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:35,333 Hello, Sharon, where's your husband?
- 00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:37,043 He's in the back.
- 00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:39,337 He set up a video camera so that he could tape the performance.
- 00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:41,172 Oh, so did Gerald.
- 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,467 Oh yeah, I got a great angle here.
- 00:14:44,593 --> 00:14:46,052 Hey Gerald, maybe after the show
- 00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:48,388 we can make copies of each other's tapes, so we have both.
- 00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:49,347 Good idea!
- 00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:50,807 So wait...
- 00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:52,350 Do we do the spin around thing on the last beat?
- 00:14:52,475 --> 00:14:53,643 No, ude, on ne n and ne hree.
- 00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:54,978 You ready for the big show, Timmy?
- 00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:56,271 Where's Gobbles, Timmy?
- 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:57,522 Gobbles.
- 00:14:57,647 --> 00:14:59,524 Alright, everybody, let's take our places!
- 00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:00,942 Cartman, where is Timmy's turkey?
- 00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,485 I don't know.
- 00:15:02,611 --> 00:15:04,613 I don't know, you guys!
- 00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:07,032 Alright, maybe I tried to have Timmy's turkey crushed by a stagelight,
- 00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:09,117 but I didn't do anything else, I'm not an asshole!
- 00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,619 You're going to be brilliant!
- 00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,829 You sexy, gorgeous turkey.
- 00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:14,414 With that other meddling animal out of the way,
- 00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:16,207 you'll steal the show!
- 00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:26,927 Well, well, what are you doing out here?
- 00:15:27,052 --> 00:15:28,720 You shouldn't be out walking the streets.
- 00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:51,910 Hello, parents, and welcome to the 13th Annual South Park Thanksgiving pageant.
- 00:15:52,035 --> 00:15:54,037 Every year the 4th graders do "The Miracle Worker",
- 00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:56,206 and every year I have to sit and watch it.
- 00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:58,541 Yeah, I swore that if I had to see it one more time,
- 00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:00,377 I'd put a bullet in my head.
- 00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:02,796 But luckily I got really stoned before I came.
- 00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:05,548 And now here it is, the touching story of Helen Keller,
- 00:16:05,674 --> 00:16:06,675 "The Miracle Worker".
- 00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:12,847 ♪ Helen Keller Helen Keller blind as a bat ♪
- 00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:14,891 ♪ She can't hear or speak what's up with that ♪
- 00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:16,559 This is "The Miracle Worker"?
- 00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:17,686 I...
- 00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:19,270 Well, maybe.
- 00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:22,899 Ohh-oh, ha-ha, wow!
- 00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:36,746 Come on, ya, move it!
- 00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:14,492 Holy crow, look, boys!
- 00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:16,202 A real live wild turkey!
- 00:17:17,746 --> 00:17:18,997 it's trying to outsmart us!
- 00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:20,123 Come on, fellas!
- 00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:24,377 ♪ John come quick our little baby's very sick ♪
- 00:17:24,502 --> 00:17:25,670 ♪ When I snap she doesn't flinch ♪
- 00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:26,838 ♪ I wave she doesn't move an inch ♪
- 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,840 ♪ Wha else an it be arlin you are aring me ♪
- 00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:30,383 She can't hear me, John, watch!
- 00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:31,259 Helen! Helen!
- 00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:32,761 Helen!
- 00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:34,596 ♪ I think our baby's deaf and blind oh nooooo ♪
- 00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:35,930 Oh no!
- 00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:37,515 ♪ Oh no oh nooooooo ♪♪
- 00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,871 She's brilliant, everyone loves her so far!
- 00:17:59,996 --> 00:18:01,915 Hey, the fountains you guys installed are shorting out some of our lights!
- 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,708 Look, we're only here to do the water effects.
- 00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:05,085 We're not in charge of electrical.
- 00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:06,628 That's a different union.
- 00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,129 Timmy?
- 00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:09,881 Union mafia bastards!
- 00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:11,800 Oh, ha-ha.
- 00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:13,968 Well, look, Tim, all's fair in love and theater, right?
- 00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:15,095 Ha, ha.
- 00:18:15,220 --> 00:18:16,596 Gobbles!
- 00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:22,393 Where is Timmy, he's on in one minute!
- 00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:23,937 He's gone, dude, Butters says he saw him leave.
- 00:18:24,062 --> 00:18:25,230 Leave, leave?!
- 00:18:25,355 --> 00:18:27,148 But nobody else knows the part of Helen Keller!
- 00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:28,983 I do, I know the part.
- 00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:30,985 If I must, I can go on.
- 00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:34,072 Alright, fine, get in costume!
- 00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:35,865 Gobbles!
- 00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:37,575 Gobbles!
- 00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:42,455 There it is!
- 00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:44,624 Hey, hey, I saw it first, I get the first shot!
- 00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:46,459 Here, turkey-turkey.
- 00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:50,046 There is nothing we can do for our poor daughter.
- 00:18:50,171 --> 00:18:51,631 We cannot reach her.
- 00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:54,134 ♪ I cannot hear what they are saying ♪
- 00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:56,928 ♪ I cannot tell them how I feel ♪
- 00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:58,763 What the hell is he doing, Helen Keller isn't supposed to sing!
- 00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:02,016 ♪ If only I could say things that go on in my mind ♪
- 00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:03,268 Oh, wow!
- 00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:04,936 That's it.
- 00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:06,354 That's it.
- 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,231 Gobbles!
- 00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:09,482 Gotcha!
- 00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:11,025 Gobbles!
- 00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:25,748 Timmy?
- 00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:28,585 Gobbles?
- 00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:30,461 Gobbles!
- 00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:32,088 Hagh!
- 00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:33,381 Oh, thank God you're alright, kid.
- 00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,133 It was an accident, I swear!
- 00:19:35,258 --> 00:19:36,926 Is there any way we can make it up to you?
- 00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:38,344 Timmy...
- 00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:41,681 Yes, that's it!
- 00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:43,057 That's it, Helen, water!
- 00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:44,392 Wa-ter!
- 00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:45,727 Wa-wa!
- 00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,103 She did it!
- 00:19:47,228 --> 00:19:48,062 ♪ She did it she did it ♪
- 00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:50,190 ♪ Water water water ahhhhh ♪
- 00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:51,482 ♪ Water Helen ♪
- 00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:52,817 ♪ Wa-ter ♪
- 00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:54,027 ♪ We can't believe she did it ♪
- 00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:55,111 ♪ The dumb kid really did it ♪
- 00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:56,529 ♪ Water Helen ♪
- 00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:57,780 ♪ Wa-ter ♪
- 00:19:57,906 --> 00:19:59,157 ♪ And now that I can communicate ♪
- 00:19:59,282 --> 00:20:01,534 ♪ The world is not so cold and dark ♪
- 00:20:02,744 --> 00:20:05,455 ♪ Water Helen ahahhhh ♪
- 00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:07,832 Here it comes, angel, your big finale!
- 00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:09,083 The audience is going to go wild!
- 00:20:12,921 --> 00:20:14,422 Oh, back already?
- 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,841 Don't worry, Maynard covered your part flawlessly.
- 00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,009 Timmy!
- 00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:20,136 Turkey shoot!
- 00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:21,888 Aaghgh!
- 00:20:22,013 --> 00:20:23,932 Alinicia, Jesus, no!
- 00:20:24,057 --> 00:20:25,433 Hagh, Timmy!
- 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:26,809 Okay, we're ready for the--
- 00:20:26,935 --> 00:20:29,229 What the hell did you assholes do?!
- 00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:31,189 This is supposed to be the big finale
- 00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:32,357 where the turkey jumps through the ring of fire!
- 00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:33,858 Hey, look!
- 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:40,949 Oohhh!
- 00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:42,951 Oh wow, wow!
- 00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:47,205 They loved it, they loved it!
- 00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:48,623 Gobbles!
- 00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:52,502 And finally tonight, parents,
- 00:20:52,627 --> 00:20:54,629 we have the South Park kindergarten class.
- 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:57,882 Their play is titled "Thanksgiving, Mon Ami".
- 00:20:58,007 --> 00:20:59,175 Okay, here we go.
- 00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:00,343 Oh, dude, it can't be better than ours!
- 00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:01,886 It just can't be!
- 00:21:02,011 --> 00:21:04,347 ♪ Thanksgiving dinner let's all eat ♪
- 00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:06,474 ♪ E-i-e-i-o ♪
- 00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:09,060 ♪ And for our dinner we'll invite some Indians ♪
- 00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:11,104 ♪ E-i-e-i-o ♪
- 00:21:11,229 --> 00:21:13,481 ♪ With an Indian here and an Indian there ♪
- 00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:15,441 ♪ Everywhere an Indian Indian ♪
- 00:21:15,566 --> 00:21:16,943 ♪ Oh thanks-- ♪♪
- 00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,362 Aaghgh!
- 00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:22,699 Happy Thanksgiving!
- 00:21:23,992 --> 00:21:25,952 Alright, see ya next year, parents!
- 00:21:27,245 --> 00:21:28,413 That's it?
- 00:21:28,538 --> 00:21:30,206 We worked our asses off to compete with that!?
- 00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:32,166 Butters told us their play was awesome!
- 00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:34,168 Wow, did you see that?
- 00:21:34,294 --> 00:21:36,212 They had a horse, too!
- 00:21:36,337 --> 00:21:38,047 Go-bbles, Timmy!
- 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:10,386 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,054 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,889 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:14,015 --> 00:00:15,391 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:16,892 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:17,018 --> 00:00:18,853 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:20,354 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:22,023 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
- 00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:23,691 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
- 00:00:23,816 --> 00:00:25,151 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:28,904 ♪ [Mumbling] ♪
- 00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:30,281 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:30,823 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,578 Doctor, doctor, will our daughter be okay?
- 00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:37,329 I am sorry, Mr. And Mrs. Keller,
- 00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:38,873 but I'm afraid your daughter Helen
- 00:00:38,998 --> 00:00:40,833 still cannot see, hear or speak.
- 00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:42,334 Oh, no, no!
- 00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:43,919 [mumbling] Ere, ere my good ife.
- 00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:45,504 There is nothing we can do.
- 00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:47,089 Oh, my poor little Helen!
- 00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:48,549 Timmy!
- 00:00:48,674 --> 00:00:50,301 She can't see or hear us, John!
- 00:00:50,426 --> 00:00:51,719 Hagh, Timmy!
- 00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:54,013 Es, erhaps she shoul go do an asyluh.
- 00:00:54,138 --> 00:00:56,182 Stan, what the hell is wrong with you, I can't understand your lines!
- 00:00:56,307 --> 00:00:58,059 Cuz de eard urts my face!
- 00:00:58,184 --> 00:01:00,061 Can we take a lunch break now?
- 00:01:00,186 --> 00:01:01,854 No, if we want our play to be better than the kindergartner's play,
- 00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:03,564 we have to rehearse as much as possible!
- 00:01:03,689 --> 00:01:04,899 Now let's continue the scene!
- 00:01:05,024 --> 00:01:06,609 Hello, my name is Anne Sullivan
- 00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:09,320 and I believe I can teach this child to communicate.
- 00:01:09,445 --> 00:01:10,821 Eally, you hink so?
- 00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:13,824 Water, Helen, wa-ter.
- 00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:15,367 Hagh, Timmy!
- 00:01:15,493 --> 00:01:17,119 Dammit, Timmy, Helen Keller isn't supposed to talk!
- 00:01:19,705 --> 00:01:21,207 You guys, we've got a big problem!
- 00:01:21,332 --> 00:01:22,917 What is it, Butters?
- 00:01:23,042 --> 00:01:24,960 The kindergartners, I just came from their dress rehearsal!
- 00:01:25,086 --> 00:01:26,837 Oh it's good, you guys, it's real good!
- 00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:28,172 How good?
- 00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:30,257 They've got Pilgrim outfits and Indian ones too!
- 00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:32,676 They've got singing and dancing, and boy, you've never seen such a show!
- 00:01:32,802 --> 00:01:34,637 Why, it's a Thanksgiving extravaganza!
- 00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:35,930 Oh no!
- 00:01:36,055 --> 00:01:37,515 We can't be outdone by the kindergartners!
- 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:38,766 No! - We can't!
- 00:01:38,891 --> 00:01:40,309 Alright, alright, quiet down!
- 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:41,977 Look, we've still got four days until the Thanksgiving festival.
- 00:01:42,103 --> 00:01:43,979 That's plenty of time to revamp our play!
- 00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:45,815 Revamp how, the rules are that the fourth-grade class
- 00:01:45,940 --> 00:01:47,525 has to perform "The Helen Keller story"!
- 00:01:47,650 --> 00:01:49,193 Yeah, but nobody told us <i>how</i> we have to do it.
- 00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:51,320 We can add Thanksgiving stuff and music numbers too!
- 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,155 Well, we can add music numbers,
- 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,282 but how do we make the Helen Keller story more Thanksgiving-y?
- 00:01:55,407 --> 00:01:56,826 I know, how about instead of a dog...
- 00:01:56,951 --> 00:01:58,494 Helen Keller has a pet turkey!
- 00:01:58,619 --> 00:01:59,912 Yeah, a turkey that can do tricks!
- 00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:01,497 Yeah! - That's the spirit, gang!
- 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,457 Alright, Stan and Wendy, you go out and find some musical instruments!
- 00:02:03,582 --> 00:02:05,084 Kenny and Clyde take some kids
- 00:02:05,209 --> 00:02:06,961 and buy some Thanksgiving decorations for the sets!
- 00:02:07,086 --> 00:02:08,879 Kyle and Timmy, you go out and find a turkey!
- 00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:11,006 This is gonna be the best version of "The Miracle Worker" ever!
- 00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:11,924 Yea! Yea!
- 00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:17,012 What kind of turkey are you looking for?
- 00:02:17,138 --> 00:02:19,056 A smart one that can do tricks!
- 00:02:19,181 --> 00:02:21,851 Well, I ain't got a whole lot left, it being almost Thanksgiving and all.
- 00:02:21,976 --> 00:02:23,394 But go ahead, just pick one out.
- 00:02:23,519 --> 00:02:25,521 [gobbling]
- 00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:31,610 Timmy!
- 00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,029 Oh, that one's a little messed up.
- 00:02:34,155 --> 00:02:35,656 Not exactly the pick of the litter.
- 00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:37,116 Hahgh!
- 00:02:37,241 --> 00:02:38,909 Uh, Timmy, if we go back to other kids with that turkey,
- 00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:40,286 they're gonna be pissed.
- 00:02:40,411 --> 00:02:41,620 Timmy!
- 00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:43,372 Yeah, best you not take that one.
- 00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,207 I was just about to take it out in the yard and put a bullet in its head.
- 00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:47,042 What, aw, dude, don't say that!
- 00:02:47,168 --> 00:02:48,586 Timmy, Timmy!
- 00:02:48,711 --> 00:02:51,005 Alright, we'll take him, how much? - Fifty bucks.
- 00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:53,132 But you were just gonna take it in the backyard and put a bullet in its head!
- 00:02:53,257 --> 00:02:55,509 I know, now I gotta find something else to shoot!
- 00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:57,136 Goddammit, here!
- 00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:02,474 Alright, Timmy, let's go.
- 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,059 I've got a one-legged pig if you'd like, too.
- 00:03:04,185 --> 00:03:05,477 Aw, blow it out your ass!
- 00:03:08,272 --> 00:03:10,316 Guys, I want you all to meet Geoffrey Maynard.
- 00:03:10,441 --> 00:03:12,401 He's South Park's biggest expert on musical theater
- 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,653 and he played the lead in <i>Les Miserables</i>
- 00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:17,656 at the Denver community playhouse for five weeks!
- 00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:20,201 Do you think we can make up a good Thanksgiving play in four days?
- 00:03:20,326 --> 00:03:22,036 ♪ I would swear it on my life ♪
- 00:03:22,161 --> 00:03:23,954 ♪ Your play shall want for nothing ♪
- 00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:25,831 Hooray! Hooray!
- 00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:28,751 Now, the first thing any good musical needs is a big opening number!
- 00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:31,128 Something that sets up the entire show.
- 00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:33,923 Alright, places everybody, bring in the turkey!
- 00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:40,346 What the hell is that?
- 00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:42,348 It's a turkey.
- 00:03:43,933 --> 00:03:45,226 His name is Gobbles.
- 00:03:45,351 --> 00:03:47,144 Gobbles!
- 00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:50,022 And where, pray, is our beautiful trick-performing turkey?
- 00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:53,567 Um, we sort of spent all the money on this one.
- 00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:54,235 Gobbles!
- 00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,239 Kyle, can I talk to you over here for a second?
- 00:04:00,950 --> 00:04:02,284 Kyle, why do you do these things to me?
- 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:03,994 I didn't do anything to you!
- 00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:05,287 Timmy saw the turkey and wanted to get it.
- 00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:06,914 What did you want me to say to him?
- 00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:09,291 You say "no, Timmy, you can't have that turkey, bad Timmy!"
- 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,377 Look, I know it isn't exactly what we wanted, but maybe we can train it.
- 00:04:11,502 --> 00:04:13,379 He's not gonna work, Kyle.
- 00:04:13,504 --> 00:04:15,214 The whole point is to make our play better than the kindergartners!
- 00:04:15,339 --> 00:04:16,715 Yeah, that turkey sucks.
- 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:17,967 Wait...
- 00:04:18,092 --> 00:04:19,426 ♪ What's that you say ♪
- 00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:21,053 ♪ A Thanksgiving turkey is what you require ♪
- 00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:22,304 ♪ I know of a turkey ♪
- 00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:23,639 You do?!
- 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,266 ♪ During my years on Broadway ♪
- 00:04:25,391 --> 00:04:27,685 ♪ I worked with a turkey that could do all kinds of tricks ♪
- 00:04:27,810 --> 00:04:30,062 ♪ She even jumped through a hoop of fire ♪
- 00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:31,647 Cool, can you get it for us?
- 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,899 ♪ I will go promptly and call her trainer ♪
- 00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:36,360 ♪ On the morrow you shall have your trick performing turkey ♪♪
- 00:04:36,485 --> 00:04:37,194 Alright! Alright!
- 00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,575 Gobbles!
- 00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:48,747 Gobbles!
- 00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:58,590 Ergh, ergh.
- 00:04:58,716 --> 00:05:00,884 Hargh, gobbles!
- 00:05:05,431 --> 00:05:07,224 Gobbles.
- 00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:11,395 Gobbles!
- 00:05:12,688 --> 00:05:13,772 [fart]
- 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,693 No, no, no!
- 00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:20,321 Poopsiekins, it's late, you need to be in bed.
- 00:05:20,446 --> 00:05:22,781 I can't sleep, Mom, I have to write the lyrics to the opening song
- 00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:24,533 of our Helen Keller Thanksgiving spectacular.
- 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:25,784 Now, hon.
- 00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:27,286 [whining] But Mom!
- 00:05:27,411 --> 00:05:28,829 I have to write these lyrics so the plight of Helen Keller
- 00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:30,914 can be realized by the common ma-an!
- 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:32,583 Twenty more minutes and that's it.
- 00:05:32,708 --> 00:05:35,210 Twenty minutes, did Tim Rice's mom give him twenty minutes
- 00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:36,337 to write the lyrics to <i>Phantom of the Opera?!</i>
- 00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:41,508 Speak to me, Helen.
- 00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:43,761 Let me be your voice.
- 00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:46,347 Come on, you blind bitch, channel your spirit through me!
- 00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:14,249 Tonight, we present the story of a courageous girl
- 00:06:14,375 --> 00:06:16,085 and her fight against depression.
- 00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,127 Oppression!
- 00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:18,379 Oppression.
- 00:06:18,504 --> 00:06:20,172 Our play begins in a simpler time.
- 00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:22,091 Alabama, in the late 1800s...
- 00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:25,177 [all together] ♪ 1800s ♪
- 00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:26,261 ♪ Alabama ♪
- 00:06:26,387 --> 00:06:27,763 ♪ What a great place in time ♪
- 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,515 ♪ We're so happy that we live in 1800s Alabama ♪
- 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:31,725 ♪ 'cause it's sunny and there is no crime ♪
- 00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:33,310 Now to the refrain!
- 00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:34,978 ♪ And in our little town of 1800s Alabama ♪
- 00:06:35,104 --> 00:06:37,064 ♪ There's a family by the name of Keller ♪
- 00:06:37,189 --> 00:06:38,774 ♪ Their daughter's deaf and mute and blind as a bat ♪
- 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,318 ♪ And her parents can't even tell her ♪
- 00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:44,029 Excuse me, I am Lamonde, the animal trainer.
- 00:06:44,154 --> 00:06:45,656 Oh cool, he's here!
- 00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:48,033 Awesome, do you have a turkey that can do tricks?!
- 00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:49,868 Ahp, ahp, do not call them "tricks".
- 00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:51,787 She's a very sensitive turkey,
- 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,956 and she performs "feats" not "tricks".
- 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:57,126 Ladies and gentlemen, may I present the most beautiful bird in America.
- 00:06:57,251 --> 00:07:00,129 Four-time prize winner at the National Western Stock Show
- 00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:02,840 and reigning poster child of turkeylovers.com.
- 00:07:02,965 --> 00:07:04,758 I give you... Alinicia!
- 00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:08,470 Oooh! Wow! Whoa!
- 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,222 Her feathers are beautiful!
- 00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:12,015 That's the prettiest turkey I ever saw.
- 00:07:12,141 --> 00:07:13,434 Of course she is.
- 00:07:13,559 --> 00:07:15,018 [snooty gobble]
- 00:07:15,144 --> 00:07:17,020 Okay, now we can really get this thing underway!
- 00:07:17,146 --> 00:07:18,689 Places, everybody, where the hell is Timmy?
- 00:07:18,814 --> 00:07:20,399 Timmy!
- 00:07:22,151 --> 00:07:23,235 [gobble]
- 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,320 What is that?
- 00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:27,823 Uh, that's Gobbles, the physically challenged turkey.
- 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,453 Gobbles!
- 00:07:32,578 --> 00:07:34,288 Gobbles?
- 00:07:34,413 --> 00:07:35,956 Timmy, we already got a turkey.
- 00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,624 Yeah, and it's from Broadway!
- 00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:39,793 Gobbles!
- 00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:42,254 No, Timmy, the handicapped turkey does not go in our play!
- 00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:44,047 Dude, don't forget, Timmy's the only kid who can play Helen Keller.
- 00:07:44,173 --> 00:07:45,299 Don't piss him off.
- 00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:46,758 That's right, only Timmy knows the part.
- 00:07:46,884 --> 00:07:48,218 Timmy.
- 00:07:48,343 --> 00:07:49,761 Oh, Jesus, okay, fine!
- 00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:51,430 Helen Keller can have two pet turkeys!
- 00:07:51,555 --> 00:07:53,724 [indignant gobbling]
- 00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:56,143 My turkey does not work with other turkeys!
- 00:07:56,268 --> 00:07:57,769 Oh, goddammit, now what are we gonna do?
- 00:08:05,861 --> 00:08:07,112 Alright, alright. [angry gobbling]
- 00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:08,739 Alright, alright!
- 00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:10,657 Dude, we need your turkey for our play!
- 00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,701 She's not coming out, she's very upset.
- 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,328 She's pooped all over the room.
- 00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:15,787 I know, I know, but listen.
- 00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:17,372 Let me try to explain the position I'm in here.
- 00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:19,208 The retarded turkey belongs to our friend Timmy,
- 00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:21,293 and Timmy is the only person who knows the part of Helen Keller.
- 00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,170 So tell me what I can do here to make everybody happy.
- 00:08:23,295 --> 00:08:25,881 Kill the other turkey.
- 00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,716 I can't, dude, Timmy has a boner for it.
- 00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,134 Well, it could meet with an...
- 00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:30,761 ...unfortunate accident.
- 00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:32,095 Unfortunate accident?
- 00:08:32,221 --> 00:08:33,722 You mean like Geena Davis getting her own T.V. Show?
- 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,224 Ha ha ha-- oh...
- 00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:36,892 It's very simple.
- 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,393 Either that turkey meets with an unfortunate accident,
- 00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:40,854 or you don't have a feat-performing turkey
- 00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:42,147 for your Helen Keller Thanksgiving musical!
- 00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:44,358 Alright, alright, just get your turkey
- 00:08:44,483 --> 00:08:47,027 to stop crapping all over the dressing room and come out for rehearsal.
- 00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:48,487 I'll take care of everything.
- 00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:51,240 Water, Helen, it has a name!
- 00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:53,408 Oh, why can't you understand?!
- 00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:55,702 Duh, agh!
- 00:08:55,827 --> 00:08:57,329 ♪ Wat-er he-len wa-ter ♪
- 00:08:57,454 --> 00:08:58,455 ♪ She's never gonna do it ♪
- 00:08:58,580 --> 00:08:59,831 ♪ There's no way she'll ever do it ♪
- 00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:01,875 ♪ Spell it Helen water Helen ♪
- 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:02,960 ♪ How can she talk if she can't hear ♪
- 00:09:03,085 --> 00:09:04,503 ♪ This is absolutely pointless ♪
- 00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:05,921 Okay, uh, hold it!
- 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,548 Let's hold it right there a second.
- 00:09:07,673 --> 00:09:10,092 Okay, I just want to adjust some of the blocking real quick.
- 00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:11,802 Let's see...
- 00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:13,804 Uh, why don't we have turkey number two
- 00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:16,932 stand just a little more over m'yha...
- 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:20,143 Let's see, maybe a little bit more up in m'yha...
- 00:09:20,269 --> 00:09:23,772 And just a wee bit over m'yha...
- 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,817 And right about...
- 00:09:26,942 --> 00:09:28,860 M'hya.
- 00:09:28,986 --> 00:09:31,029 There we go, good.
- 00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:36,034 [lines snapping and glass shattering]
- 00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:37,995 Oh my gah, they killed Kenny!
- 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:39,454 Ooohhh!
- 00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:40,956 Crap, I must have rigged the wrong light.
- 00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:43,250 ♪ Let him rest ♪
- 00:09:43,375 --> 00:09:46,003 ♪ In peace let him rest ♪
- 00:09:46,128 --> 00:09:48,130 ♪ Why must he die... ♪
- 00:09:51,174 --> 00:09:52,759 They've got special effects!
- 00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:54,344 What, Butters? [singing continues]
- 00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:56,305 The kindergartners, they've got amazing stage effects!
- 00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:57,973 Pyrotechnics and what have yous!
- 00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,474 Why, it's a regular feast for the eyes!
- 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:00,475 [girl] Oh no!
- 00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:01,935 We're never gonna outdo them now!
- 00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:03,270 Oh no! Special effects?!
- 00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:04,980 Calm down, calm down!
- 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,481 We can have special effects too!
- 00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:08,025 Now I know a lot is going wrong,
- 00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:09,860 but we've got to stick together to make this play work.
- 00:10:09,985 --> 00:10:11,862 All of us.
- 00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:14,448 ♪ And into your hands... ♪
- 00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,248 Gobbles!
- 00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:25,000 Aaahh, Gobbles!
- 00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:27,878 Little boy!
- 00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:29,171 Timmy.
- 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:30,589 Yes, Tim.
- 00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:32,382 I feel I must speak with you.
- 00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:34,968 The others, well, they don't want you to know, but--
- 00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:36,845 oh, I don't know what to do, should I tell you?
- 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,263 Timmy?
- 00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:40,474 I feel I'm the only one who can be honest with you.
- 00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:44,186 The animal shelter is on its way to take your turkey away from you.
- 00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:45,604 Gobbles?!
- 00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:48,607 You see, they don't allow children in your "situation"
- 00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:50,734 to have wild animals as pets.
- 00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:52,944 You can't take him running, you can't take care of him.
- 00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:54,821 They have to take it away.
- 00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:56,323 Gobbles!
- 00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:58,533 They take wild pets away from people like you
- 00:10:58,659 --> 00:11:01,244 and hand them over for experiments.
- 00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:04,873 And they're shocked, dissected and flayed
- 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,958 while they're still alive.
- 00:11:07,084 --> 00:11:09,628 And no matter where you go the shelter people will find you.
- 00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:12,464 The only way for that turkey to avoid years of torture,
- 00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:16,009 is for you to let him go, back into the wild.
- 00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:18,387 Oh no, here they come now!
- 00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:21,598 Quick, go and set your turkey free!
- 00:11:21,723 --> 00:11:22,891 I'll try to stall them.
- 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,143 Timmy!
- 00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:27,979 Excuse me, we're here to install the water effects for the musical.
- 00:11:28,105 --> 00:11:29,815 The stage is right through there.
- 00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,191 Thanks.
- 00:11:35,821 --> 00:11:37,447 Alright, I've got to write the new lyrics.
- 00:11:37,572 --> 00:11:39,324 Let's see...
- 00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:41,159 No, no!
- 00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:42,994 Goddammit!
- 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,287 ♪ How is it going Eric ♪
- 00:11:44,413 --> 00:11:46,164 Terrible, I can't write the lyrics for the third act.
- 00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:48,083 Nothing's coming to me!
- 00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,085 Well, you know, in theater sometimes we try different tricks
- 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:51,628 to get the creative juices flowing.
- 00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,088 Like what?
- 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,257 Let's see, Helen Keller was blind and deaf,
- 00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,467 perhaps you should see what it is like.
- 00:11:57,592 --> 00:11:59,219 ♪ Deprive yourself of your senses ♪
- 00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:01,596 ♪ And see what plays inside your mind ♪
- 00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:02,431 Here.
- 00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:04,015 Hey, that's not a bad idea.
- 00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:05,892 ♪ Just relax ♪
- 00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:08,228 ♪ Just try to let your mind wander and let the juices flow ♪
- 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,423 Oh, man!
- 00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:38,091 Well, did you see anything?
- 00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:40,051 No, just the same old crap I always see when I close my eyes.
- 00:12:40,177 --> 00:12:41,678 Oh, that's too bad.
- 00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:43,388 Wait, I've got it!
- 00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,640 The perfect setup for when Helen Keller's pet turkey
- 00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:47,017 jumps through the hoop of fire!
- 00:12:47,142 --> 00:12:48,351 Yes!
- 00:12:48,477 --> 00:12:49,060 Yes, I have it now!
- 00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:57,277 The only way for that turkey to avoid years of torture,
- 00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:59,613 is for you to let him go.
- 00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:01,114 [echoing] Let him go... Let him go.
- 00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:06,828 Gobbles.
- 00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:11,208 Gobbles!
- 00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:13,668 [gobbles]
- 00:13:13,794 --> 00:13:15,128 Gobbles.
- 00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:17,005 Gobbles!
- 00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,510 Gobbles!
- 00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:24,846 Timmy.
- 00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,181 Timmy, Gobbles.
- 00:13:36,274 --> 00:13:39,152 Daddy, why did mommy leave and go to heaven?
- 00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:41,988 She didn't want to, Kevin, she had no choice.
- 00:13:42,113 --> 00:13:44,032 But I miss her.
- 00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,284 [crying]
- 00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:50,080 I could have done so much more with my life, son.
- 00:13:50,205 --> 00:13:51,581 I've wasted it.
- 00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:53,291 I've wasted it.
- 00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:55,210 Not ever telling you and Monica
- 00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,087 I love you.
- 00:13:57,212 --> 00:13:59,422 [sobbing]
- 00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:01,299 Robbie!
- 00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:03,385 Robbie, no!
- 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:06,888 Because now every time I look at you...
- 00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:09,015 I see her.
- 00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:10,809 I have to move on.
- 00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:12,227 Kelly, please, don't do this.
- 00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,520 I'm sorry!
- 00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:15,313 Then why did you do it?
- 00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:17,107 I don't know!
- 00:14:17,232 --> 00:14:20,318 [sobbing]
- 00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:23,488 Have you done the right things in your life?
- 00:14:32,497 --> 00:14:33,748 Hi, Sheila!
- 00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:35,333 Hello, Sharon, where's your husband?
- 00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:37,043 He's in the back.
- 00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:39,337 He set up a video camera so that he could tape the performance.
- 00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:41,172 Oh, so did Gerald.
- 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,467 Oh yeah, I got a great angle here.
- 00:14:44,593 --> 00:14:46,052 Hey Gerald, maybe after the show
- 00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:48,388 we can make copies of each other's tapes, so we have both.
- 00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:49,347 Good idea!
- 00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:50,807 So wait...
- 00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:52,350 Do we do the spin around thing on the last beat?
- 00:14:52,475 --> 00:14:53,643 No, ude, on ne n and ne hree.
- 00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:54,978 You ready for the big show, Timmy?
- 00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:56,271 Where's Gobbles, Timmy?
- 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:57,522 Gobbles.
- 00:14:57,647 --> 00:14:59,524 Alright, everybody, let's take our places!
- 00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:00,942 Cartman, where is Timmy's turkey?
- 00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,485 I don't know.
- 00:15:02,611 --> 00:15:04,613 I don't know, you guys!
- 00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:07,032 Alright, maybe I tried to have Timmy's turkey crushed by a stagelight,
- 00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:09,117 but I didn't do anything else, I'm not an asshole!
- 00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,619 You're going to be brilliant!
- 00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,829 You sexy, gorgeous turkey.
- 00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:14,414 With that other meddling animal out of the way,
- 00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:16,207 you'll steal the show!
- 00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:16,583 [haughty gobble]
- 00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:26,927 Well, well, what are you doing out here?
- 00:15:27,052 --> 00:15:28,720 You shouldn't be out walking the streets.
- 00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,096 [gobble]
- 00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:51,910 Hello, parents, and welcome to the 13th Annual South Park Thanksgiving pageant.
- 00:15:52,035 --> 00:15:54,037 Every year the 4th graders do "The Miracle Worker",
- 00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:56,206 and every year I have to sit and watch it.
- 00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:58,541 Yeah, I swore that if I had to see it one more time,
- 00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:00,377 I'd put a bullet in my head.
- 00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:02,796 But luckily I got really stoned before I came.
- 00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:05,548 And now here it is, the touching story of Helen Keller,
- 00:16:05,674 --> 00:16:06,675 "The Miracle Worker".
- 00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:12,847 [all together] ♪ Helen Keller Helen Keller blind as a bat ♪
- 00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:14,891 ♪ She can't hear or speak what's up with that ♪
- 00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:16,559 This is "The Miracle Worker"?
- 00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:17,686 I...
- 00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:19,270 Well, maybe.
- 00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:22,899 Ohh-oh, ha-ha, wow!
- 00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:30,573 [gobbling]
- 00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:36,746 Come on, ya, move it!
- 00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:14,492 Holy crow, look, boys!
- 00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:16,202 A real live wild turkey!
- 00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:17,620 [gobble]
- 00:17:17,746 --> 00:17:18,997 it's trying to outsmart us!
- 00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:20,123 Come on, fellas!
- 00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:24,377 ♪ John come quick our little baby's very sick ♪
- 00:17:24,502 --> 00:17:25,670 ♪ When I snap she doesn't flinch ♪
- 00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:26,838 ♪ I wave she doesn't move an inch ♪
- 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,840 ♪ Wha else an it be arlin you are aring me ♪
- 00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:30,383 She can't hear me, John, watch!
- 00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:31,259 Helen! Helen!
- 00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:32,761 Helen!
- 00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:34,596 ♪ I think our baby's deaf and blind oh nooooo ♪
- 00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:35,930 Oh no!
- 00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:37,515 ♪ Oh no oh nooooooo ♪♪
- 00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,871 She's brilliant, everyone loves her so far!
- 00:17:59,996 --> 00:18:01,915 Hey, the fountains you guys installed are shorting out some of our lights!
- 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,708 Look, we're only here to do the water effects.
- 00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:05,085 We're not in charge of electrical.
- 00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:06,628 That's a different union.
- 00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,129 Timmy?
- 00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:09,881 Union mafia bastards!
- 00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:11,800 Oh, ha-ha.
- 00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:13,968 Well, look, Tim, all's fair in love and theater, right?
- 00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:15,095 Ha, ha.
- 00:18:15,220 --> 00:18:16,596 Gobbles!
- 00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:22,393 Where is Timmy, he's on in one minute!
- 00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:23,937 He's gone, dude, Butters says he saw him leave.
- 00:18:24,062 --> 00:18:25,230 Leave, leave?!
- 00:18:25,355 --> 00:18:27,148 But nobody else knows the part of Helen Keller!
- 00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:28,983 I do, I know the part.
- 00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:30,985 If I must, I can go on.
- 00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:34,072 Alright, fine, get in costume!
- 00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:35,865 Gobbles!
- 00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:37,575 Gobbles!
- 00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:42,455 There it is!
- 00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:44,624 Hey, hey, I saw it first, I get the first shot!
- 00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:46,459 Here, turkey-turkey.
- 00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:50,046 There is nothing we can do for our poor daughter.
- 00:18:50,171 --> 00:18:51,631 We cannot reach her.
- 00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:54,134 ♪ I cannot hear what they are saying ♪
- 00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:56,928 ♪ I cannot tell them how I feel ♪
- 00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:58,763 What the hell is he doing, Helen Keller isn't supposed to sing!
- 00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:02,016 ♪ If only I could say things that go on in my mind ♪
- 00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:03,268 [crying] Oh, wow!
- 00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:04,936 That's it.
- 00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:06,354 That's it.
- 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,231 Gobbles!
- 00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:09,482 Gotcha!
- 00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:11,025 [slow motion] Gobbles!
- 00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:14,195 [gunshot]
- 00:19:20,118 --> 00:19:21,035 [whistling]
- 00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:25,748 Timmy?
- 00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:28,585 Gobbles?
- 00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:30,461 Gobbles!
- 00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:32,088 Hagh!
- 00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:33,381 Oh, thank God you're alright, kid.
- 00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,133 It was an accident, I swear!
- 00:19:35,258 --> 00:19:36,926 Is there any way we can make it up to you?
- 00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:38,344 Timmy...
- 00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:41,681 Yes, that's it!
- 00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:43,057 That's it, Helen, water!
- 00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:44,392 Wa-ter!
- 00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:45,727 Wa-wa!
- 00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,103 She did it!
- 00:19:47,228 --> 00:19:48,062 ♪ She did it she did it ♪
- 00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:50,190 ♪ Water water water ahhhhh ♪
- 00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:51,482 ♪ Water Helen ♪
- 00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:52,817 ♪ Wa-ter ♪
- 00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:54,027 ♪ We can't believe she did it ♪
- 00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:55,111 ♪ The dumb kid really did it ♪
- 00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:56,529 ♪ Water Helen ♪
- 00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:57,780 ♪ Wa-ter ♪
- 00:19:57,906 --> 00:19:59,157 ♪ And now that I can communicate ♪
- 00:19:59,282 --> 00:20:01,534 ♪ The world is not so cold and dark ♪
- 00:20:02,744 --> 00:20:05,455 ♪ Water Helen ahahhhh ♪
- 00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:07,832 Here it comes, angel, your big finale!
- 00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:09,083 The audience is going to go wild!
- 00:20:12,921 --> 00:20:14,422 Oh, back already?
- 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,841 Don't worry, Maynard covered your part flawlessly.
- 00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,009 Timmy!
- 00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:20,136 Turkey shoot!
- 00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:21,888 Aaghgh!
- 00:20:22,013 --> 00:20:23,932 Alinicia, Jesus, no!
- 00:20:24,057 --> 00:20:25,433 Hagh, Timmy!
- 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:26,809 Okay, we're ready for the--
- 00:20:26,935 --> 00:20:29,229 What the hell did you assholes do?!
- 00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:31,189 This is supposed to be the big finale
- 00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:32,357 where the turkey jumps through the ring of fire!
- 00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:33,858 Hey, look!
- 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:40,949 Oohhh!
- 00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:42,951 Oh wow, wow!
- 00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:47,205 They loved it, they loved it!
- 00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:48,623 Gobbles!
- 00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:52,502 And finally tonight, parents,
- 00:20:52,627 --> 00:20:54,629 we have the South Park kindergarten class.
- 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:57,882 Their play is titled "Thanksgiving, Mon Ami".
- 00:20:58,007 --> 00:20:59,175 Okay, here we go.
- 00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:00,343 Oh, dude, it can't be better than ours!
- 00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:01,886 It just can't be!
- 00:21:02,011 --> 00:21:04,347 ♪ Thanksgiving dinner let's all eat ♪
- 00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:06,474 ♪ E-i-e-i-o ♪
- 00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:09,060 ♪ And for our dinner we'll invite some Indians ♪
- 00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:11,104 ♪ E-i-e-i-o ♪
- 00:21:11,229 --> 00:21:13,481 ♪ With an Indian here and an Indian there ♪
- 00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:15,441 ♪ Everywhere an Indian Indian ♪
- 00:21:15,566 --> 00:21:16,943 ♪ Oh thanks-- ♪♪
- 00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:17,986 [boom]
- 00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,362 Aaghgh!
- 00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:22,699 Happy Thanksgiving!
- 00:21:23,992 --> 00:21:25,952 Alright, see ya next year, parents!
- 00:21:27,245 --> 00:21:28,413 That's it?
- 00:21:28,538 --> 00:21:30,206 We worked our asses off to compete with that!?
- 00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:32,166 Butters told us their play was awesome!
- 00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:34,168 Wow, did you see that?
- 00:21:34,294 --> 00:21:36,212 They had a horse, too!
- 00:21:36,337 --> 00:21:38,047 Go-bbles, Timmy!
- 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:36,374 <i>Доктор, доктор! С нашей дочерью всё будет в порядке?</i>
- 00:00:36,409 --> 00:00:38,421 <i>Мне очень жаль, мистер и миссис Keller,</i>
- 00:00:38,422 --> 00:00:41,310 <i>но, боюсь, ваша дочь Helen по-прежнему не может видеть, слышать и говорить.</i>
- 00:00:41,362 --> 00:00:42,897 <i>О нет! НЕТ!</i>
- 00:00:42,932 --> 00:00:45,684 <i>Дорогая.., дорогая, мы не в силах ей помочь.</i>
- 00:00:45,719 --> 00:00:47,322 <i>Моя бедная маленькая Helen.</i>
- 00:00:48,937 --> 00:00:50,805 <i>Она не видит и не слышит нас, John.</i>
- 00:00:52,011 --> 00:00:54,438 <i>Д-да. Возможно, нам стоит отправить её в приют.</i>
- 00:00:54,473 --> 00:00:56,925 Stan, какого чёрта? Я не могу разобрать твои слова!
- 00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:58,831 Это потому, что борода колет моё лицо.
- 00:00:58,866 --> 00:01:00,369 Мы можем сделать перерыв на обед?
- 00:01:00,404 --> 00:01:02,340 Нет! Если мы хотим, чтобы наша пьеса была лучше детсадовской,
- 00:01:02,341 --> 00:01:04,822 мы должны прогонять ещё и ещё! Теперь продолжим действие!
- 00:01:04,896 --> 00:01:07,029 Здравствуйте. Меня зовут Anne Sullivan,
- 00:01:07,030 --> 00:01:10,149 и я верю, что смогу научить этого ребёнка общаться.
- 00:01:10,293 --> 00:01:11,539 П-правда? Вы так считаете?
- 00:01:11,574 --> 00:01:14,680 Вода, Helen! Воо-да!
- 00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:17,583 Чёрт возьми, Timmy! Helen Keller не может разговаривать!
- 00:01:19,718 --> 00:01:21,722 Ребята! У нас большая проблема!
- 00:01:22,057 --> 00:01:23,044 В чём дело, Butters?
- 00:01:23,079 --> 00:01:25,314 Детсадовцы! Я только что с их генеральной репетиции!
- 00:01:25,315 --> 00:01:27,392 Они жгут, ребята. Пьеса реально хороша!
- 00:01:27,439 --> 00:01:28,221 Насколько хороша?
- 00:01:28,256 --> 00:01:30,349 У них есть снаряжение пилигримов! И индейцев тоже!
- 00:01:30,350 --> 00:01:35,386 Вы никогда не видели такого шоу! Это феерия на День Благодарения!
- 00:01:35,461 --> 00:01:36,321 О нет!
- 00:01:36,356 --> 00:01:37,881 Мы не можем быть уделаны детсадовцами!
- 00:01:37,916 --> 00:01:38,964 - О, что же теперь? - Да, мы не можем!
- 00:01:38,965 --> 00:01:40,423 Значит, так! Тишина! Смотрите,
- 00:01:40,424 --> 00:01:43,942 у нас есть ещё 4 дня до фестиваля; этого достаточно, чтобы переделать нашу пьесу!
- 00:01:44,017 --> 00:01:45,028 Переделать как?
- 00:01:45,029 --> 00:01:47,972 По правилам 4-й класс должен показать историю о Helen Keller.
- 00:01:47,989 --> 00:01:49,996 Да, но никто не говорил нам, как мы должны это сделать.
- 00:01:49,997 --> 00:01:52,094 Ещё мы можем сделать разные штучки и музыкальные номера.
- 00:01:52,173 --> 00:01:53,370 Что ж, мы можем добавить музыкальные номера, но
- 00:01:53,371 --> 00:01:55,623 как мы сделаем историю о Helen Keller более соответствующей духу Дня Благодарения?
- 00:01:55,658 --> 00:01:59,017 Я знаю! Как насчет того, чтобы вместо собаки у Helen Keller была домашняя индейка.
- 00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:00,346 Да, индейка, которая может выделывать фокусы.
- 00:02:00,381 --> 00:02:01,114 Точно!
- 00:02:01,149 --> 00:02:02,162 Вот это круто, народ!
- 00:02:02,163 --> 00:02:04,483 Так. Stan и Wendy, найдите какие-нибудь музыкальные инструменты!
- 00:02:04,484 --> 00:02:07,348 Kenny и Clyde, возьмите с собой кого-нибудь и накупите декораций!
- 00:02:07,349 --> 00:02:09,098 Kyle и Timmy, раздобудьте индейку!
- 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:09,800 Окей!
- 00:02:09,819 --> 00:02:11,787 Это будет лучшая постановка "Сотворившей чудо"!
- 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:12,600 Да!
- 00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:17,418 Какая индейка вам нужна?
- 00:02:17,453 --> 00:02:19,063 Умная, которая может делать фокусы.
- 00:02:19,098 --> 00:02:22,087 Ну, вообще-то их осталось не так много, почти всех разобрали.
- 00:02:22,088 --> 00:02:23,697 Идите и возьмите одну.
- 00:02:33,309 --> 00:02:36,835 Оу, это немного неправильная индейка. Не самая... лучшая из помёта.
- 00:02:37,641 --> 00:02:40,592 Э, Timmy, если мы вернёмся с этой индейкой, нас, мягко говоря, не поймут.
- 00:02:41,850 --> 00:02:43,550 Да. Лучше вам её не брать.
- 00:02:43,551 --> 00:02:46,196 Я как раз собирался пойти во двор и пристрелить её.
- 00:02:46,210 --> 00:02:47,946 Что?! Эй, чувак, не говори этого!
- 00:02:49,344 --> 00:02:50,634 Хорошо, мы берём. Сколько?
- 00:02:50,669 --> 00:02:51,435 50 баксов.
- 00:02:51,470 --> 00:02:53,703 Но вы только что собирались её пристрелить!
- 00:02:53,738 --> 00:02:55,890 Я знаю! Но теперь мне придётся пристрелить что-то другое!
- 00:02:56,700 --> 00:02:58,079 ...Ёлки-палки, вот!
- 00:03:01,539 --> 00:03:02,858 Всё, Timmy, пошли!
- 00:03:02,893 --> 00:03:04,848 Ещё у меня есть одноногая свинья, если вам нужно...
- 00:03:04,883 --> 00:03:06,189 Засунь её себе в задницу!
- 00:03:08,590 --> 00:03:10,836 Ребята, я хочу вам представить Jeffrey Maynard'а.
- 00:03:10,837 --> 00:03:13,553 Он главный эксперт в South Park'е по мюзиклам, и,
- 00:03:13,554 --> 00:03:17,030 он играл главную роль в "Отверженных" в Гос. Театре Денвера 5 недель!
- 00:03:17,896 --> 00:03:20,497 Вы думаете, мы сможем за 4 дня подготовить хорошую пьесу?
- 00:03:20,532 --> 00:03:24,949 Клянусь жизнью, ваша пьеса не будет ни в чём нуждаться!
- 00:03:24,984 --> 00:03:25,756 Ура!
- 00:03:25,791 --> 00:03:29,158 Итак, сперва мюзиклу нужен опенинг.
- 00:03:29,159 --> 00:03:31,405 Что-то, задающее тон всему шоу.
- 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:34,204 Отлично! Все по местам! Давайте сюда индейку!
- 00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:41,638 Что это за хрень?
- 00:03:41,700 --> 00:03:45,597 Это индейка. Её зовут Gobbles.
- 00:03:47,651 --> 00:03:50,808 И где же... Господи... где наша прекрасная, выполняющая трюки индейка?
- 00:03:51,363 --> 00:03:54,179 Эм, мы... Потратили все деньги на эту...
- 00:03:57,700 --> 00:03:59,589 Kyle, можно тебя на секундочку?
- 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:03,348 Kyle? Почему ты так поступаешь со мной?
- 00:04:03,383 --> 00:04:04,468 Я ничего тебе не делал.
- 00:04:04,469 --> 00:04:05,897 Timmy увидел эту индейку и захотел выбрать её.
- 00:04:05,898 --> 00:04:06,923 Что я должен был ему сказать?
- 00:04:06,958 --> 00:04:09,368 Ты должен был сказать: "Нет, Timmy, нельзя эту индейку! Плохой Timmy!"
- 00:04:09,403 --> 00:04:12,310 Слушай, я понимаю, что это не совсем то, чего мы хотели, но мы можем попытаться натренировать её.
- 00:04:12,345 --> 00:04:13,456 С ней ничего не выйдет, Kyle.
- 00:04:13,457 --> 00:04:15,450 Идея заключалась в том, чтобы наша пьеса была лучше детсадовской.
- 00:04:15,652 --> 00:04:17,046 Да, эта индейка - отстой.
- 00:04:17,700 --> 00:04:19,334 Подождите! Что вы сказали?
- 00:04:19,335 --> 00:04:21,822 Вам нужна индейка к Дню Благодарения?
- 00:04:21,823 --> 00:04:23,376 Я знаю одну индейку.
- 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:24,030 Знаете?
- 00:04:24,044 --> 00:04:25,676 В мои бродвейские годы...
- 00:04:25,677 --> 00:04:28,271 я работал с индейкой, которая могла выполнять любые трюки.
- 00:04:28,272 --> 00:04:30,549 Она даже прыгала через горящий обруч.
- 00:04:30,564 --> 00:04:31,894 Класс! Вы можете достать её для нас?
- 00:04:31,929 --> 00:04:34,157 Я как можно скорее свяжусь с её тренером.
- 00:04:34,158 --> 00:04:37,134 Завтра вы получите свою индейку-трюкачку.
- 00:04:37,150 --> 00:04:37,900 Отлично!
- 00:05:17,006 --> 00:05:18,083 Нет нет нет!
- 00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:20,830 Пупсик, уже поздно, ты должен быть в постельке.
- 00:05:20,865 --> 00:05:22,668 Мне нельзя спать, мама! Я должен написать стихи
- 00:05:22,669 --> 00:05:24,900 к опенингу нашей постановки о Helen Keller, приуроченной к Дню Благодарения!
- 00:05:24,935 --> 00:05:26,136 Пора спать!
- 00:05:26,171 --> 00:05:28,514 Но ма-ама, я должен написать эти стихи, чтобы страдания
- 00:05:28,515 --> 00:05:31,111 Helen Keller мог понять любой простой человек.
- 00:05:31,145 --> 00:05:32,961 Ещё 20 минут, и всё.
- 00:05:33,495 --> 00:05:34,519 20 минут!
- 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:37,539 Мама Tim'а Rice'а что, давала ему 20 минут на написание "Призрака оперы"?
- 00:05:40,644 --> 00:05:43,669 Молви, Helen. Позволь мне быть твоим голосом.
- 00:05:45,063 --> 00:05:47,814 Ну же, слепая сука! Впусти в меня свой дух!
- 00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:17,060 Сегодня мы представляем историю об отважной девочке и о её борьбе с депрессией.
- 00:06:17,095 --> 00:06:17,926 Угнетением!
- 00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:18,745 Угнетением.
- 00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:22,858 Наша пьеса начинается в простое время. Алабама, конец 1800-х.
- 00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:28,145 <i>1800-е, Алабама! Что за чудное время и место!</i>
- 00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:32,353 <i>Мы так счастливы жить в 1800-е в Алабаме, потому что здесь солнечно и мирно!</i>
- 00:06:32,388 --> 00:06:33,498 Теперь припев!
- 00:06:33,533 --> 00:06:37,337 <i>И в маленьком городке в 1800-х в Алабаме жила семья Keller-ов!</i>
- 00:06:37,372 --> 00:06:41,571 <i>Их дочь оглохла, онемела и ослепла как летучая мышь, и её родители не могли ей ничего сказать!!</i>
- 00:06:42,208 --> 00:06:45,126 Извините, я Lamond, дрессировщик.
- 00:06:45,161 --> 00:06:46,348 О, класс! Он здесь!
- 00:06:46,802 --> 00:06:48,808 Шикарно! У вас есть индейка, исполняющая трюки?
- 00:06:48,843 --> 00:06:52,252 Э-гей! Не называйте это трюками! Это очень чувствительная индейка!
- 00:06:52,253 --> 00:06:54,634 Она преподносит искусство, а не трюки.
- 00:06:54,635 --> 00:06:58,029 Леди и джентльмены, разрешите вам представить прекраснейшую птицу Америки!
- 00:06:58,030 --> 00:07:03,153 Четырежды победитель National Western Stock Show и лицо сайта turkeylovers.com!
- 00:07:03,154 --> 00:07:05,510 Перед вами Alinicia!
- 00:07:08,981 --> 00:07:10,820 Её перья восхитительны.
- 00:07:10,855 --> 00:07:12,529 Это прекраснейшая из индеек, что я когда-либо видел.
- 00:07:12,564 --> 00:07:13,792 Несомненно!
- 00:07:15,186 --> 00:07:17,548 Окей! Теперь мы можем сделать всё по плану!
- 00:07:17,549 --> 00:07:19,592 Все по местам! Где черти носят Timmy?
- 00:07:23,700 --> 00:07:25,827 Что... это?!
- 00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:28,573 Ээ, это Gobbles, физически модифицированная индейка.
- 00:07:34,972 --> 00:07:36,843 Timmy, у нас уже есть индейка.
- 00:07:36,878 --> 00:07:38,096 Да, и она с Бродвея.
- 00:07:40,019 --> 00:07:42,364 Нет, Timmy! Эта недоиндейка не будет играть в нашей постановке!
- 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:43,360 Чувак, не забывай:
- 00:07:43,361 --> 00:07:45,770 только Timmy может сыграть Helen Keller. Не задевай его.
- 00:07:45,805 --> 00:07:47,238 Действительно, только Timmy знает роль.
- 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:51,637 О, Иисус! Окей, да! У Helen Keller будет 2 индейки!
- 00:07:54,104 --> 00:07:56,688 Моя индейка не работает с другими индейками!
- 00:07:56,723 --> 00:07:58,696 Ох, чёрт возьми, что нам теперь делать?!
- 00:08:05,425 --> 00:08:08,775 Хорошо, э хоро... шо! Хо-хо... рошо. Хорошо.
- 00:08:09,151 --> 00:08:10,913 Чувак, нам нужна твоя индейка для пьесы!
- 00:08:10,948 --> 00:08:14,341 Она не выходит. Она вне себя! Она перевернула всю гримёрную!
- 00:08:14,376 --> 00:08:17,170 Я знаю, знаю, но послушай: я обрисую ситуацию.
- 00:08:17,171 --> 00:08:19,364 Отсталая индейка принадлежит нашему другу Timmy.
- 00:08:19,365 --> 00:08:21,462 И Timmy единственный, кто знает роль Helen Keller.
- 00:08:21,463 --> 00:08:23,772 Ну, так скажи же, что мне сделать, чтобы всем угодить?
- 00:08:23,887 --> 00:08:25,912 Убей другую индейку!
- 00:08:25,947 --> 00:08:27,594 Я не могу, чувак. У Timmy на неё стоит.
- 00:08:27,629 --> 00:08:30,714 Что ж, можно всё устроить как "несчастный случай".
- 00:08:30,749 --> 00:08:34,747 Несчастный случай? Типа как попасть на шоу Geena Davis? Хех.
- 00:08:35,700 --> 00:08:39,117 Всё очень просто! Или с этой индейкой происходит несчастный случай,
- 00:08:39,118 --> 00:08:42,926 или не будет бенефиса индейки в вашем мюзикле!
- 00:08:42,970 --> 00:08:43,896 Ну ладно, ладно!
- 00:08:43,897 --> 00:08:46,696 Только пусть ваша индейка прекратит крушить гримёрку и возвращается на репетицию!
- 00:08:46,697 --> 00:08:48,184 Я позабочусь обо всём.
- 00:08:48,779 --> 00:08:53,418 Вода, Helen. Это так называется. Ах, почему ты не понимаешь?
- 00:08:55,401 --> 00:08:57,276 Вода, Helen, вода.
- 00:08:57,311 --> 00:08:59,450 Она никогда этого не сделает. Нет способа осуществить это.
- 00:08:59,485 --> 00:09:01,939 Helen, Helen. Вода, Helen.
- 00:09:01,974 --> 00:09:04,406 Как она может говорить, если она не слышит? Это безнадёжно!
- 00:09:04,441 --> 00:09:07,005 Окей, так, секундочку. Э, тут надо поправить, одну секунду.
- 00:09:07,708 --> 00:09:11,387 Окей, я просто хочу подправить тут кое-что. Гм, посмотрим.
- 00:09:11,937 --> 00:09:16,678 Э, почему бы индейку #2 нам не сдвинуть немного... сюда.
- 00:09:16,679 --> 00:09:20,499 Так, возможно, немного сюда.
- 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:24,139 И чуть-чуть сюда.
- 00:09:24,140 --> 00:09:28,630 И ещё вот... так.
- 00:09:28,631 --> 00:09:31,078 Готово. Отлично.
- 00:09:35,737 --> 00:09:37,905 Боже мой, они убили Kenny!
- 00:09:39,219 --> 00:09:40,937 Что за лажа! Я, должно быть, перепутал свет!
- 00:09:40,972 --> 00:09:48,402 Да упокоится он в мире. За что ему такая участь?
- 00:09:50,832 --> 00:09:52,415 У них есть спецэффекты!
- 00:09:52,933 --> 00:09:53,804 Что, Butters?
- 00:09:53,839 --> 00:09:56,247 Детсадовцы! У них сумасшедшие эффекты.
- 00:09:56,248 --> 00:09:57,545 Пиротехника и всякие штучки
- 00:09:57,546 --> 00:09:59,190 со сногсшибательной подсветкой!
- 00:09:59,282 --> 00:10:00,058 О нет!
- 00:10:00,093 --> 00:10:01,491 Мы никогда не переплюнем их!
- 00:10:01,526 --> 00:10:02,499 Но что нам делать?
- 00:10:03,406 --> 00:10:04,649 Успокойтесь! Успокойтесь!
- 00:10:04,650 --> 00:10:06,261 У нас тоже могут быть спецэффекты.
- 00:10:06,262 --> 00:10:07,528 Да, многое идёт не так,
- 00:10:07,529 --> 00:10:10,063 но нам нужно работать вместе, чтобы осуществить наши планы!
- 00:10:10,064 --> 00:10:11,285 Всем нам!
- 00:10:12,306 --> 00:10:15,261 ...и в твои руки ох он... ах...
- 00:10:26,289 --> 00:10:27,361 Мальчик!
- 00:10:29,345 --> 00:10:32,229 Да, Tim. Я должен поговорить с тобой.
- 00:10:32,230 --> 00:10:35,312 Другие не хотели, чтобы ты знал об этом, но,
- 00:10:35,313 --> 00:10:37,550 ох, я не знаю, что делать. Могу я поделиться с тобой?
- 00:10:38,229 --> 00:10:40,270 Я считаю, что я единственный, кто может быть честен с тобой.
- 00:10:40,271 --> 00:10:44,554 Люди из звериного приюта на пути, чтобы... забрать у тебя твою индейку.
- 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:47,961 Видишь ли, они не позволяют детям в твоей...
- 00:10:47,962 --> 00:10:51,029 ситуации... содержать диких зверей как домашних.
- 00:10:51,030 --> 00:10:53,722 Ты не можешь его отпустить, ты не можешь заботиться о нём. Они...
- 00:10:53,723 --> 00:10:55,103 вмешаются в это.
- 00:10:56,034 --> 00:10:58,890 Они забирают диких животных у таких людей, как ты...
- 00:10:58,891 --> 00:11:01,616 и ставят над ними эксперименты.
- 00:11:01,617 --> 00:11:06,660 И их мучают, пытают, вскрывают, пока они живы.
- 00:11:06,661 --> 00:11:09,793 И куда бы ты не пошёл, эти люди найдут тебя.
- 00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:13,642 Чтобы эта индейка избежала годы пыток, ты должен...
- 00:11:13,643 --> 00:11:16,387 отпустить её. Обратно на волю.
- 00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:18,698 О нет! Они идут!
- 00:11:19,618 --> 00:11:23,175 Быстрее, иди! Освободи свою индейку! Я попытаюсь задержать их.
- 00:11:24,986 --> 00:11:28,044 Э, извините, мы тут должны наладить водные эффекты для мюзикла.
- 00:11:28,079 --> 00:11:29,688 А, сцена находится вон там.
- 00:11:29,859 --> 00:11:30,932 Спасибо.
- 00:11:34,996 --> 00:11:37,704 Ну-с, будем писать новые стихи.
- 00:11:37,705 --> 00:11:41,546 Так, посмотрим. Ну нет. НЕТ!
- 00:11:41,547 --> 00:11:42,605 Чёрт подери!
- 00:11:42,606 --> 00:11:44,169 Ну, как дела, Eric?
- 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:47,535 Ужасно! Я не могу написать стихи к третьему акту! Ничего не приходит в голову.
- 00:11:47,570 --> 00:11:51,698 Знаешь, в театре иногда мы используем различные приёмы, чтобы призвать вдохновение.
- 00:11:51,733 --> 00:11:52,688 Как например?
- 00:11:52,723 --> 00:11:53,606 Давай попробуем.
- 00:11:53,607 --> 00:11:57,223 Helen Keller была слепа и глуха. Возможно, ты должен понять, каково это.
- 00:11:57,224 --> 00:12:01,589 Сосредоточься и загляни в глубины своего разума.
- 00:12:01,590 --> 00:12:02,471 Вот.
- 00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:04,035 О, а это неплохая идея.
- 00:12:04,070 --> 00:12:09,314 Расслабься. Позволь своему разуму окунуться в глубины подсознания...
- 00:12:35,032 --> 00:12:36,441 О, чел!
- 00:12:36,476 --> 00:12:37,805 Ну, увидел что-нибудь?
- 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,120 Нет, всё та же чепуха, которую я вижу каждый раз, как закрываю глаза.
- 00:12:40,155 --> 00:12:41,804 ...Ох, это плохо.
- 00:12:42,158 --> 00:12:43,696 Стоп. Я понял!
- 00:12:43,697 --> 00:12:47,170 Идеально для того места, когда индейка Helen Keller прыгает через огненный обруч!
- 00:12:47,171 --> 00:12:50,048 Да! Да! Получается!
- 00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:58,715 Чтобы эта индейка избежала годы пыток, ты должен...
- 00:12:58,716 --> 00:13:01,283 отпустить её... отпустить её... отпустить её...
- 00:13:36,718 --> 00:13:39,475 Папа, почему мама оставила нас и отправилась на небеса?
- 00:13:39,510 --> 00:13:42,372 Она не хотела, Kevin. У неё... не было выбора.
- 00:13:42,407 --> 00:13:43,763 Но я скучаю по ней.
- 00:13:47,322 --> 00:13:50,322 Я мог столько сделать за свою жизнь, сынок.
- 00:13:50,323 --> 00:13:51,550 Я растратил её.
- 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:56,690 Растратил, и даже никогда не говорил тебе и Mark'у, что я люблю вас.
- 00:14:00,254 --> 00:14:03,244 Robby! Robby, нет!
- 00:14:04,532 --> 00:14:10,629 ...Потому что сейчас, когда я смотрю на тебя, я вижу её! Я должна переехать.
- 00:14:10,664 --> 00:14:13,335 Kelly, пожалуйста. Не делай этого. Прости.
- 00:14:13,370 --> 00:14:15,074 Тогда зачем ты это сделал??
- 00:14:15,109 --> 00:14:16,965 Я не знаю!
- 00:14:20,113 --> 00:14:23,061 Правильно ли вы поступали в своей жизни?
- 00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:33,399 Привет, Sheila.
- 00:14:33,434 --> 00:14:35,494 Здравствуй, Sharon. Где твой муж?
- 00:14:35,529 --> 00:14:39,447 Он сзади. Он установил видеокамеру, чтобы записать представление.
- 00:14:39,482 --> 00:14:40,722 О, прямо как Gerald.
- 00:14:42,573 --> 00:14:44,393 Да, отсюда отличный обзор.
- 00:14:44,428 --> 00:14:48,314 Gerald, может, после шоу мы могли бы сделать копии наших записей, чтобы у нас были обе.
- 00:14:48,349 --> 00:14:49,329 Хорошая идея.
- 00:14:49,364 --> 00:14:51,773 Подожди. Мы сможем сделать этот разворот на последнюю долю?
- 00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:53,450 Нет, он на 1 и 3.
- 00:14:53,485 --> 00:14:54,629 Готов к большому шоу, Timmy?
- 00:14:54,664 --> 00:14:55,578 Где Gobbles, Timmy?
- 00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:59,716 Итак, пусть все занимают свои позиции!
- 00:14:59,751 --> 00:15:00,984 Cartman, где индейка Timmy?
- 00:15:00,990 --> 00:15:02,059 Я не знаю.
- 00:15:03,044 --> 00:15:04,726 Я не знаю, пацаны!
- 00:15:04,727 --> 00:15:08,061 Ладно, я пытался обрушить световую установку на индейку Timmy, но больше я ничего не делал.
- 00:15:08,062 --> 00:15:08,884 Я не говнюк.
- 00:15:09,061 --> 00:15:12,590 Ты будешь восхитительна, сексуальная, роскошная индейка.
- 00:15:12,591 --> 00:15:15,816 Теперь, когда другая индейка больше не мешает, шоу будет нашим!
- 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:28,676 Так-так, что это мы здесь делаем? Ты не должна разгуливать по улицам.
- 00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:41,760 "Индейки к Дню Благодарения. Убитые гуманно"
- 00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:51,662 День добрый, родители, и добро пожаловать на 13-е ежегодное представление к Дню Благодарения в South Park'е.
- 00:15:51,697 --> 00:15:54,119 Каждый год четвероклассники ставят "Сотворившую чудо",
- 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,185 и каждый год я должен сидеть и смотреть это.
- 00:15:56,230 --> 00:15:59,962 Клянусь, если мне придётся смотреть это ещё раз, я застрелюсь.
- 00:15:59,963 --> 00:16:02,424 Но, к счастью, я конкретно обдолбалась перед приходом.
- 00:16:02,431 --> 00:16:07,617 И, наконец, трогательная история Helen Keller, "Сотворившая чудо".
- 00:16:10,454 --> 00:16:12,799 <i>Helen Keller, Helen Keller, слепа, как летучая мышь.</i>
- 00:16:12,834 --> 00:16:14,724 <i>Она не может слышать, говорить. Что же с ней?</i>
- 00:16:14,759 --> 00:16:16,353 Это "Сотворившая чудо"??
- 00:16:16,388 --> 00:16:18,758 Я... ну... возможно.
- 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:33,860 "Наши индейки убиты гуманно!"
- 00:16:34,937 --> 00:16:36,747 Давайте, пошевеливайтесь!
- 00:17:12,439 --> 00:17:15,747 Святый ворон. Смотрите, парни! Настоящая живая дикая индейка!
- 00:17:17,398 --> 00:17:19,777 Она пытается перехитрить нас! Давайте, братцы!
- 00:17:22,316 --> 00:17:24,383 <i>John, скорей! Наша девочка очень больна</i>
- 00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:26,722 <i>Когда я корчу рожицы, она не дуется, и не двигается ни на дюйм.</i>
- 00:17:26,757 --> 00:17:28,820 <i>Нет, этого не может быть. Дорогая, ты пугаешь меня.</i>
- 00:17:28,855 --> 00:17:30,684 <i>Она не откликается, John. Смотри. Helen!</i>
- 00:17:30,719 --> 00:17:31,210 <i>Helen!</i>
- 00:17:31,215 --> 00:17:31,660 <i>...Helen!</i>
- 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,517 Я думаю, наша малютка глуха и слепа. О нет!
- 00:17:34,552 --> 00:17:35,406 О нет!
- 00:17:35,441 --> 00:17:37,084 О нет! О нет!!!
- 00:17:51,492 --> 00:17:53,448 "Сцена вторая. Восемь лет спустя"
- 00:17:56,457 --> 00:17:58,982 Она восхитительна! Все её обожают.
- 00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:01,929 Эй, на фонтане, который вы установили, не работает вся подсветка.
- 00:18:01,964 --> 00:18:03,860 Вообще-то мы здесь только для водных эффектов.
- 00:18:03,861 --> 00:18:06,286 Мы не разбираемся в электричестве. Это другие службы.
- 00:18:07,542 --> 00:18:09,044 Мафиозные ублюдки из ЖКХ!
- 00:18:10,455 --> 00:18:15,108 Ээ, послушай, Tim, всё по-прежнему отлично, правда? Хех.
- 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,041 Где Timmy?! Его выход через минуту!
- 00:18:22,076 --> 00:18:24,155 Он пропал, чувак! Butters видел, как он ушёл.
- 00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:27,381 Ушёл?? Ушёл?! Но никто больше не знает роли Helen Keller!
- 00:18:27,416 --> 00:18:31,541 Я знаю роль. Если я должен, я могу сыграть.
- 00:18:32,199 --> 00:18:33,570 ...Ладно, хорошо! Надевай костюм!
- 00:18:40,592 --> 00:18:41,809 Вот она!
- 00:18:42,279 --> 00:18:46,063 Эй! Я увидел её первым! За мной первый выстрел! Давай, индеечка.
- 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:51,594 <i>Мы ничего не можем сделать для нашей бедной дочери. Мы не можем осчастливить её.</i>
- 00:18:51,629 --> 00:18:56,965 <i>Я не могу слышать, что они говорят. Я не могу сказать им, каково мне.</i>
- 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:58,761 Какого чёрта он творит? Helen Keller не должна петь!
- 00:18:58,796 --> 00:19:01,937 <i>Если б я могла поведать о том, что происходит в моей голове.</i>
- 00:19:01,972 --> 00:19:02,771 Ух, вау.
- 00:19:03,763 --> 00:19:06,203 Так. Вот так!
- 00:19:08,285 --> 00:19:09,195 Попалась!
- 00:19:31,676 --> 00:19:33,321 Ох, слава Богу, ты в порядке, малыш.
- 00:19:33,322 --> 00:19:34,800 Это была случайность, клянусь.
- 00:19:34,801 --> 00:19:36,876 Ээ, мы можем для тебя что-нибудь сделать?
- 00:19:40,168 --> 00:19:44,689 <i>Да, вот так. Вот так, Helen. Вода! ВО-ДА!</i>
- 00:19:44,776 --> 00:19:45,676 <i>Вава.</i>
- 00:19:45,711 --> 00:19:46,696 <i>У неё получилось!</i>
- 00:19:46,731 --> 00:19:50,511 <i>Получилось! Получилось! Вода! Вода вода aaaaaaaa!</i>
- 00:19:50,546 --> 00:19:52,615 <i>Вода, Helen, вода.</i>
- 00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:55,067 <i>Мы не можем поверить. Немой ребёнок действительно сделал это.</i>
- 00:19:55,102 --> 00:19:57,524 <i>Вода, Helen, вода.</i>
- 00:19:57,559 --> 00:20:01,445 <i>Теперь, когда я могу общаться, мир не такой холодный и тёмный.</i>
- 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,694 <i>Вода, Helen, Aaa-aaaaaa!</i>
- 00:20:05,550 --> 00:20:08,192 Сейчас, ангел! Твой большой финал!
- 00:20:08,193 --> 00:20:10,114 Зрители готовы прийти в экстаз!
- 00:20:13,216 --> 00:20:16,961 О, уже вернулись? Не волнуйся. Maynard заменил тебя безупречно.
- 00:20:17,868 --> 00:20:19,379 Огонь по индейке!
- 00:20:21,895 --> 00:20:23,772 Alinicia! Иисус, нет!
- 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:26,662 Окей, мы готовы к...
- 00:20:27,870 --> 00:20:29,492 Какого хрена вы, засранцы, натворили?!
- 00:20:29,493 --> 00:20:32,410 Это должен был быть большой финал, где индейка прыгает через горящий обруч!
- 00:20:32,474 --> 00:20:33,164 Смотрите!
- 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,356 Им нравится! Им нравится!
- 00:20:50,592 --> 00:20:54,660 И напоследок, родители, выступают детсадовцы South Park'а.
- 00:20:54,661 --> 00:20:57,796 Их пьеса называется, "Благодарение, Мон Ами."
- 00:20:57,930 --> 00:20:58,802 Окей, поехали.
- 00:20:58,837 --> 00:21:01,138 Чувак, это не может быть лучше нашего. Не может быть.
- 00:21:02,330 --> 00:21:04,617 <i>Вот и обед. Давайте есть.</i>
- 00:21:04,652 --> 00:21:06,584 <i>И А И А Ё.</i>
- 00:21:06,619 --> 00:21:09,248 <i>И на этот обед мы пригласим несколько индейцев</i>
- 00:21:09,283 --> 00:21:11,096 <i>И А И А Ё.</i>
- 00:21:11,131 --> 00:21:13,600 <i>С индейцами здесь, с индейцами там</i>
- 00:21:13,635 --> 00:21:19,429 <i>Везде индейцы, индейцы. Благодар...</i>
- 00:21:20,297 --> 00:21:21,984 <i>Счастливого дня благодарения!</i>
- 00:21:23,331 --> 00:21:25,284 Отлично, увидимся в следующем году, мамы и папы.
- 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:28,207 Это всё?
- 00:21:28,242 --> 00:21:29,939 Мы надрывали наши задницы, чтобы превзойти ЭТО?!
- 00:21:29,974 --> 00:21:31,483 Butters сказал, что их постановка шикарна!
- 00:21:33,236 --> 00:21:36,445 ...Вау, вы видели это? У них есть лошадь!
- 00:21:38,300 --> 00:21:45,900 <i>Перевод: Jurpils jurpils@mail.ru</i>
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