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Сезон: 04Серия: 10
Описание
Картман и друзья создают собственную церковь вопреки воле родителей. В аду Сатане приходится выбирать одного из двух любовников.
Субтитры
- 00:00:08,134 --> 00:00:11,220 Today, we are going to talk about Hell!
- 00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:13,639 Hello, Satan!
- 00:00:13,764 --> 00:00:15,224 Saddam.
- 00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:16,892 Us Jews don't believe in Hell.
- 00:00:17,018 --> 00:00:18,227 But what if we're wrong?
- 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:19,895 Let's go!
- 00:00:21,022 --> 00:00:22,148 They killed Kenny!
- 00:00:22,273 --> 00:00:24,358 He had sins that he didn't confess!
- 00:00:24,483 --> 00:00:27,903 No, Saddam, I told you, I'm with Chris now.
- 00:00:28,029 --> 00:00:29,697 Boys, it is your Christian duty
- 00:00:29,822 --> 00:00:31,282 to save the souls of your friends.
- 00:00:31,407 --> 00:00:32,700 I love you, Satan.
- 00:00:32,825 --> 00:00:34,243 I love you too, Saddam.
- 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,412 Agh!
- 00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:38,247 Fonz, there is no way you can jump that shark with your waterskis!
- 00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:39,957 Ay, I've gotta try, Richie!
- 00:00:40,082 --> 00:00:42,752 Ooh!
- 00:00:42,877 --> 00:00:44,462 Dude, if this guy's going to Hell?
- 00:00:44,587 --> 00:00:45,921 Who's gonna save us?
- 00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:47,131 Well, it looks like we're gonna have to save
- 00:00:47,256 --> 00:00:48,883 Everyone in this town ourselves!
- 00:00:49,008 --> 00:00:50,259 Go Fonz!
- 00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,261 Aaaayyyy--
- 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,472 And now the exciting conclusion of "South Park"!
- 00:00:54,597 --> 00:00:55,473 Aayyyyy!
- 00:00:55,598 --> 00:00:57,767 Aaghgh!
- 00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:01,145 I told him he couldn't do it.
- 00:01:06,692 --> 00:01:09,445 I am saying this because we must be saved-a!
- 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:12,239 The Lord is powerful and he will smote the sinners
- 00:01:12,364 --> 00:01:14,742 and send them to everlasting Hell-a!
- 00:01:14,867 --> 00:01:16,911 If you do not live your life for him-a!
- 00:01:17,036 --> 00:01:19,080 Then to the lake of fire you shall go-a!
- 00:01:19,205 --> 00:01:21,248 You see that, parents?
- 00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:23,501 Your children have refused to come in to class since this morning!
- 00:01:23,626 --> 00:01:26,128 I'm afraid your son is the leader, Ms. Cartman.
- 00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:27,838 Apparently he's read the entire Bible
- 00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:30,049 and now he's scaring the hell out of everyone.
- 00:01:30,174 --> 00:01:31,884 Poopie-kins!
- 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:34,303 It's time to stop preaching damnation to everyone, sweetie.
- 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:36,764 Don't you guys, um...
- 00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:38,599 Persercrute our religious beliefs!
- 00:01:38,724 --> 00:01:40,017 Yeah!
- 00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:41,352 We're not trying to persecute you, kids.
- 00:01:41,477 --> 00:01:43,104 But you're supposed to be in school!
- 00:01:43,229 --> 00:01:44,188 What purpose does school have?
- 00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:45,856 The Bible says the only goal in this life
- 00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:47,608 is to praise God and get into heaven!
- 00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:49,985 Yeah, this life is short, the afterlife is forever!
- 00:01:50,111 --> 00:01:52,738 Don't listen to them, kids, you have to go to school!
- 00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:54,615 Many of you knew Kenny McCormick.
- 00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:56,867 He was a playful, school-going eight-year-old.
- 00:01:56,992 --> 00:01:58,202 And then yesterday...
- 00:01:58,327 --> 00:02:00,371 He was smacked down by the Lord-a!
- 00:02:00,496 --> 00:02:02,915 God bitch slapped him right to the fiery depths of Hell!
- 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,416 So when will you go?
- 00:02:04,542 --> 00:02:06,043 Tomorrow, ten years? Does it matter?
- 00:02:06,168 --> 00:02:07,586 No!
- 00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:08,963 Because unless you give this life to the Lord,
- 00:02:09,088 --> 00:02:10,881 that life belongs to Satan!
- 00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:12,341 Agh!
- 00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,510 But we cannot worship God in that church
- 00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,095 where the priest of sin resides!
- 00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:17,680 So we will build a new church!
- 00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:20,266 With crystal walls, a ceiling eighty-feet high,
- 00:02:20,391 --> 00:02:23,018 and a slide that connects this part myha to this part mhya!
- 00:02:23,144 --> 00:02:24,395 Who will help us!
- 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:25,563 I will! I will!
- 00:02:25,688 --> 00:02:26,897 Praise God-a!
- 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,363 if I go spend the night with Saddam,
- 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,448 then it's over between me and Chris.
- 00:02:36,574 --> 00:02:38,450 Chris has been so nice to me.
- 00:02:38,576 --> 00:02:41,203 And I know Saddam will just hurt me again.
- 00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:43,998 Maybe I'll just go talk to Saddam.
- 00:02:44,123 --> 00:02:47,751 I need closure, yeah, that's it, I need closure.
- 00:02:47,877 --> 00:02:49,253 What am I doing?
- 00:02:49,378 --> 00:02:51,213 What took ya so long, baby?
- 00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:53,591 Saddam, I'm just here to talk.
- 00:02:53,716 --> 00:02:56,468 Great, let's talk!
- 00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,638 Mmm, this bed is comfy-womfy!
- 00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:02,099 Saddam, I only came here because I need closure.
- 00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:04,101 Sounds fun, you know me, I'll try anything!
- 00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:05,769 No, Saddam, listen to me--
- 00:03:05,895 --> 00:03:07,188 Would you like a drink?
- 00:03:07,313 --> 00:03:10,065 Maybe just a little one, I have to go back soon.
- 00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:13,068 I need you to understand that we can't be together anymore.
- 00:03:13,194 --> 00:03:15,112 I need you to <i>not</i> come by the condo,
- 00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:16,655 and <i>not</i> try to see me.
- 00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:19,116 Chris thinks we can all be friends, but I don't.
- 00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:20,993 And I have to focus on Chris now.
- 00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:22,703 What is this?
- 00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:24,997 These hotels have all kinds of crazy channels.
- 00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:26,373 Saddam, will you listen to me?
- 00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:27,625 Chris is a great person!
- 00:03:27,750 --> 00:03:29,335 He is the one I want to be with now!
- 00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:31,921 Really, so then what are you doing here?
- 00:03:32,046 --> 00:03:34,548 I don't know about you,
- 00:03:34,673 --> 00:03:36,759 but this video is gettin' me pretty hot.
- 00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:37,718 Saddam...
- 00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:39,929 Here, have another drink.
- 00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:46,894 Ugh, oh God, my head!
- 00:03:47,019 --> 00:03:49,730 I drank too much... Chris?
- 00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:50,981 Oh no!
- 00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:54,693 Man, look at that!
- 00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:56,695 We went through fourteen bottles of vegetable oil!
- 00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,155 Ooh, I'm all greasy!
- 00:03:58,280 --> 00:03:59,907 Oh God, what time is it?
- 00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:01,325 Last night was awesome!
- 00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:02,868 Aren't we together again now?
- 00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:04,328 I don't know, I guess so.
- 00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:06,330 But now I have to go home and tell Chris.
- 00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:08,123 Screw him!
- 00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:10,584 No, Saddam, I at least owe him an explanation.
- 00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:12,962 I just don't know what I'm gonna say.
- 00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:16,382 I know how to solve this little problem.
- 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:19,551 We are now entering Ensenada,
- 00:04:19,677 --> 00:04:22,179 the second largest city on the Mexican Baja Peninsula.
- 00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:25,474 We have now traveled over 2000 miles since leaving New York City!
- 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,518 We'll just be stopping here for a few moments for gas
- 00:04:27,643 --> 00:04:30,479 and then our tour will continue on to its final destination!
- 00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,690 <i>Oiga, hay algo pegado bajo el autobus!</i>
- 00:04:32,815 --> 00:04:35,609 <i>Que</i>? What's stuck to the bottom of the bus?
- 00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:38,612 Hmph!
- 00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:40,572 Oh, goodness.
- 00:04:40,698 --> 00:04:41,949 We must have run over a little Mexican further up north.
- 00:04:42,074 --> 00:04:43,033 Is it okay?
- 00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:44,868 <i>Pienso que si.</i>
- 00:04:44,994 --> 00:04:48,372 Well, here's fifty for the gas, <i>adios!</i>
- 00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:50,582 Where am I? Que?
- 00:04:50,708 --> 00:04:52,793 Where am I? Que?
- 00:05:01,010 --> 00:05:02,344 It is beautiful.
- 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:03,929 Thine church is almost completeth.
- 00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:05,639 There's no way God would want to send us to Hell now!
- 00:05:05,764 --> 00:05:07,057 Yeah this church kicks a--
- 00:05:07,182 --> 00:05:08,517 It, it kicks.
- 00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,102 Hello, boys.
- 00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,603 Don't try to take me away again, Mom and Dad!
- 00:05:11,729 --> 00:05:12,980 I told you, I renounced the Jewish faith!
- 00:05:13,105 --> 00:05:15,065 It's not that, Kyle.
- 00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:17,318 It's just that Eric's mother needs to see you all right away.
- 00:05:17,443 --> 00:05:20,779 Just really quick, she says it's very important.
- 00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:22,573 Very well, yea, guys,
- 00:05:22,698 --> 00:05:24,992 let us walk to mine home and see what mine mom wants.
- 00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:28,495 I sure hope this works.
- 00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:31,665 Hello, kiddies!
- 00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:34,418 I made you all powdered-donut pancake surprise!
- 00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:35,961 Wow, cool!
- 00:05:36,086 --> 00:05:37,421 No, it is a trick!
- 00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:39,006 Do not vex me, oh temptress!
- 00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:40,924 What?
- 00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:42,134 This is a distraction from our work on the church!
- 00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:43,802 Do not think that you can tempt us with toys...
- 00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:45,637 And games...
- 00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:47,723 And tidings of powdered-donut pancake surprise!
- 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:49,558 For it is the afterlife we concern ourselves with!
- 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:52,102 Not the pleasures on this earth!
- 00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:53,771 But salvation in the world after!
- 00:05:53,896 --> 00:05:55,189 Yeah!
- 00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:57,274 Oh, well, alrighty then.
- 00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:59,026 I don't think it worked.
- 00:05:59,151 --> 00:06:00,736 Aw! Aw!
- 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:01,779 Let us get back to our work at the church.
- 00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:05,074 Yea, I shall answer the phone-na.
- 00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:06,325 Hello?
- 00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:08,327 Mprh mprm rm rmph rm rmph!
- 00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:10,496 Oh my God! - What?
- 00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:12,373 It's Kenny, he's calling from beyond the grave!
- 00:06:12,498 --> 00:06:13,374 Kenny? What's he say!
- 00:06:13,499 --> 00:06:14,625 Ask him what Hell is like!
- 00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:16,085 Kenny, you have to tell us about Hell!
- 00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,753 Give us every last horrible detail!
- 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,797 Um...
- 00:06:22,633 --> 00:06:25,094 Oh God, Chris is gonna be so mad at me!
- 00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:26,929 Well, here goes...
- 00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:28,389 Hey, you.
- 00:06:28,514 --> 00:06:29,890 Hi, Chris.
- 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:32,684 You... Were out all night.
- 00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:34,353 Yeah, I just...
- 00:06:34,478 --> 00:06:36,647 Spent the night walking around the marina.
- 00:06:36,772 --> 00:06:39,316 Satan, you know you're not a very good liar.
- 00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:40,692 You went and saw Saddam, didn't you?
- 00:06:40,818 --> 00:06:42,236 Yes.
- 00:06:42,361 --> 00:06:44,738 Satan... I understand.
- 00:06:44,863 --> 00:06:45,989 What?
- 00:06:46,115 --> 00:06:47,825 I still feel secure and safe with you.
- 00:06:47,950 --> 00:06:49,576 Oh, no!
- 00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:51,370 What, what's wrong? I said it's okay.
- 00:06:51,495 --> 00:06:52,704 I know!
- 00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:54,039 Well, what more do you want from me?
- 00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:56,291 Well, could you not be such a pussy about it?
- 00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:58,502 I mean, can't you just say
- 00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:00,796 "if you ever see Saddam again I'll break your legs"
- 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,298 or "I'm gonna go kick Saddam's ass" or something?
- 00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:05,259 Satan, I'm a 90's man.
- 00:07:05,384 --> 00:07:08,011 I cry when I need to, I share my feelings
- 00:07:08,137 --> 00:07:09,805 and I keep my mind open about everything.
- 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:13,016 Just give me some boundaries, be jealous!
- 00:07:13,142 --> 00:07:15,727 Go throw a football around, for Christ's sake!
- 00:07:15,853 --> 00:07:17,521 Now you're starting to hurt my feelings.
- 00:07:17,646 --> 00:07:20,107 I'm sorry, Chris.
- 00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:23,402 It's not you, really, it's me.
- 00:07:23,527 --> 00:07:25,737 You're the best thing that's ever happened to me
- 00:07:25,863 --> 00:07:28,991 and for some reason, I can't just accept that.
- 00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:31,160 Die, pussy! Aahghgh!
- 00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:32,578 Chris!
- 00:07:32,703 --> 00:07:33,912 Saddam what the Hell are you doing?
- 00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:36,248 There, I got rid of the problem for you!
- 00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:37,249 Now there's no conflict!
- 00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:39,501 No, not like this!
- 00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:48,135 Friends, I have to tell you that last night,
- 00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:50,804 I received a phone call from beyond the grave!
- 00:07:52,264 --> 00:07:53,724 It was our departed friend, Kenny,
- 00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:55,601 calling from the depths of Hell!
- 00:07:55,726 --> 00:07:59,521 And he described what Hell is like in horrid detail!
- 00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:02,191 He said that in Hell, the smell is awful!
- 00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:05,611 He said that in Hell, everyone speaks Spanish!
- 00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:06,737 Aagh! Aagh!
- 00:08:06,862 --> 00:08:08,947 He said there is water in Hell,
- 00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:11,950 but if you drink it, you pee blood out your ass for seven hours!
- 00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:12,826 No! No!
- 00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,828 And perhaps worst of all,
- 00:08:14,953 --> 00:08:18,081 in Hell, there are dozens and dozens of little trinket stores.
- 00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:20,459 But they all have the same little trinkets in them!
- 00:08:20,584 --> 00:08:21,585 Aaghgh! Aaghgh!
- 00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:23,003 Where is our daughter!
- 00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:24,296 Dad?
- 00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:26,006 Marcy, you are coming home this instant!
- 00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:28,634 We are saving your daughter from the clutches of Hell, sir!
- 00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:30,928 You're not going to make my daughter part of your cult!
- 00:08:31,053 --> 00:08:33,013 Your daughter could die tomorrow and then what?
- 00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:35,224 You're just a stupid little fat kid who thinks that--
- 00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:36,433 Stephen?
- 00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:38,685 Stephen, no!
- 00:08:38,810 --> 00:08:40,354 The Lord has spoken again!
- 00:08:40,479 --> 00:08:42,397 Oh forgive us, Lord, for our sins!
- 00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:43,690 Forgive us Lord! Forgive us Lord!
- 00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:44,983 Let us pray!
- 00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:46,652 Heavenly Father, do not send us to Hell.
- 00:08:46,777 --> 00:08:47,736 We're sorry.
- 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,321 Whatever we did, we're sorry.
- 00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:50,531 Stephen?
- 00:08:50,656 --> 00:08:51,949 Stephen!
- 00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:54,785 Where-where am I?
- 00:08:54,910 --> 00:08:57,162 Where are we? - Oh my God!
- 00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:58,205 What's happening?
- 00:08:58,330 --> 00:08:59,790 Aaghgh!
- 00:08:59,915 --> 00:09:00,832 Hello newcomers and welcome.
- 00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:02,543 Can everybody hear me? Hello?
- 00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:04,545 Can everybody-okay.
- 00:09:04,670 --> 00:09:06,255 I'm the Hell director.
- 00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:10,217 It looks like we have about 8,615 of you newbies today.
- 00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:13,011 And for those of you who were a little confused,
- 00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:15,556 uh, you are dead and this is Hell.
- 00:09:15,681 --> 00:09:18,475 So abandon all hope and yadda-yadda-yadda.
- 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:21,895 Uh, we're now going to start the orientation process which will last about--
- 00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,564 Hey, wait a minute, I shouldn't be here!
- 00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:25,732 I was a totally strict and devout Protestant!
- 00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:27,025 I thought we went to heaven!
- 00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:29,069 Yes, well, I'm afraid you were wrong.
- 00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:31,071 I was a practicing Jehovah's Witness.
- 00:09:31,196 --> 00:09:33,031 You picked the wrong religion, as well.
- 00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:34,741 Well, who was right? Who gets into heaven?
- 00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:37,035 I'm afraid it was the <i>Mormons.</i>
- 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,371 Yes, the <i>Mormons</i> were the correct answer.
- 00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:41,039 Aw! Aw!
- 00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:42,541 So now, I'd like to quickly introduce
- 00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:45,752 your new ruler and master for eternity, Satan.
- 00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:47,838 Rrrarrghghh!
- 00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:49,172 Aaaahghgh! Aaaahghgh!
- 00:09:49,298 --> 00:09:51,883 Now you are all part of my domain!
- 00:09:52,009 --> 00:09:54,845 Every day Hell grows larger and my minions...
- 00:09:54,970 --> 00:09:58,140 My minions...
- 00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,475 I'm sorry, I just can't do this today.
- 00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:03,437 I'm just-- I'm sorry.
- 00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:09,318 Uh, okay, thank you Satan.
- 00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:10,402 Satan!
- 00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:12,195 Excuse me, excuse me.
- 00:10:12,321 --> 00:10:14,281 Chris, but I thought you were dead!
- 00:10:14,406 --> 00:10:16,992 Yeah, well, where was I gonna go, Detroit?
- 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,910 Chris I didn't mean for Saddam to stab you--
- 00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:20,287 Hey, it's alright.
- 00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:21,913 All that matters is that I'm back
- 00:10:22,039 --> 00:10:23,624 and we're together forever, right?
- 00:10:23,749 --> 00:10:27,294 Uh, yeah, great.
- 00:10:27,419 --> 00:10:28,920 Aw! Aw!
- 00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:33,216 Let's see, Matthew 15:1-1.
- 00:10:33,342 --> 00:10:36,094 "Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man,
- 00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:38,555 but that which come out of the mouth defileth a man."
- 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:40,474 That's a good one, Clyde frog, interesting.
- 00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:42,142 Look, Eric, Sister Anne has come to visit you.
- 00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:43,644 Yea, it is nice to see you, Sister,
- 00:10:43,769 --> 00:10:45,687 but I must prepare for my next sermon.
- 00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,731 Eric, you need to stop what you're doing.
- 00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,858 You need to tell all the kids to go back to school
- 00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:51,485 and back to their normal lives.
- 00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:53,278 Sister, have you read this book?
- 00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:55,614 Yes, Eric, a lot more than you have.
- 00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:58,825 Then you know what it says happens to those that don't follow the Lord-a.
- 00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:01,286 Eric, the Lord doesn't just send everybody to Hell.
- 00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:02,829 That wouldn't make sense.
- 00:11:02,954 --> 00:11:04,456 He wants people to live their lives.
- 00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:06,166 Are you saying that what the Bible says isn't true?
- 00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:07,793 No!
- 00:11:07,918 --> 00:11:09,252 We've got Jews and perverts and bullies
- 00:11:09,378 --> 00:11:11,296 and all kinds of sinners in this town, Sister Anne-a.
- 00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:13,340 And without the priest, we've decided to save ourselves.
- 00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:16,134 The only ones the kids can trust now are me and Jesus!
- 00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:17,761 Ugh!
- 00:11:17,886 --> 00:11:19,805 Wait a minute, that's it!
- 00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:22,432 And I am going to save all of you right now!
- 00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:24,309 I am going to heal your sins!
- 00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:25,977 Whoa.
- 00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:30,857 Hello, Satan! Oh, crap, it's you.
- 00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:32,025 Yeah, it's me.
- 00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:33,485 I thought I killed you.
- 00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:35,112 Yeah, well-
- 00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:36,238 where was I gonna go, Detroit?
- 00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:37,948 Do you have a couple minutes to go for a walk?
- 00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:38,990 A walk?!
- 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,743 Yeah, just real quick, around the park or something.
- 00:11:41,785 --> 00:11:43,370 Is this some kind of trick?
- 00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:45,288 No, I just want you to go for a quick walk with me.
- 00:11:45,414 --> 00:11:46,832 Please?
- 00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:48,500 Well, alright, just let me grab something real quick.
- 00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:51,211 ♪ Da da da da daa ♪
- 00:11:53,505 --> 00:11:55,215 Okay, let's walk.
- 00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:58,677 Saddam,
- 00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:00,512 I get the feeling that you don't like me very much.
- 00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:01,972 Gee, whatever gave you that idea?
- 00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:03,557 When I stabbed you in the head?
- 00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:05,809 Look, Satan is a very important person to me.
- 00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:07,686 And I know he's an important person to you, too.
- 00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:10,772 So don't you think it's best for us to try and get along?
- 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:13,358 I realize that some things about me bother you,
- 00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:14,901 so I'd like to hear what those things are,
- 00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:16,445 so that I can work on them.
- 00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:17,904 You know why I don't like you, Chris?
- 00:12:18,029 --> 00:12:19,281 Because you're the kind of guy,
- 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:20,991 who, if somebody didn't like him,
- 00:12:21,116 --> 00:12:22,534 he would take them for a walk in the park and ask them why.
- 00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:24,369 You're a pussy!
- 00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:27,330 Aaaaaaghhhhhh!
- 00:12:27,456 --> 00:12:29,166 Oh God!
- 00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:30,125 Ha ha ha ha!
- 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,376 Nooo! Aaghhgh!
- 00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:32,419 Agahgh!
- 00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:33,962 Ow!
- 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,047 Blagh!
- 00:12:42,179 --> 00:12:45,599 Today this Jewish boy and all sinners are going to be saved-a!
- 00:12:45,724 --> 00:12:47,350 Kyle, do you believe in God-a?
- 00:12:47,476 --> 00:12:48,643 Yes!
- 00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:49,728 Do you want to be saved from Hell-a?
- 00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:50,896 Yes!
- 00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:52,189 That's good, because right now
- 00:12:52,314 --> 00:12:54,149 all the Jewness is coming out of your body,
- 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,359 being replaced by the spirit of God-a!
- 00:12:56,485 --> 00:12:58,028 Bap! - Ow!
- 00:12:58,153 --> 00:12:59,529 Praise God, how do you feel now?
- 00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:01,114 Do you feel the light of God inside of you?
- 00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:02,491 Uh, I think so.
- 00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:03,950 Praise the Lord!
- 00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:05,702 Yay! Yay!
- 00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,329 ♪ For he is Lord ♪
- 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:09,581 ♪ He is Lord ♪
- 00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,082 Bring up the next person!
- 00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:13,043 This boy has been crippled with sin.
- 00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:15,420 But I hear God saying that this boy will walk!
- 00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:16,838 Hallelujah!
- 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,048 Timmy!
- 00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:19,382 We are gonna save you
- 00:13:19,508 --> 00:13:20,926 and you are gonna walk with the Lord-a!
- 00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:21,927 Timmy!
- 00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:23,595 Devil be gone-a!
- 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:24,679 Hagh!
- 00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:26,139 Now walk, Timmy!
- 00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:27,474 Hagh!
- 00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:29,100 Come on, Timmy, get out of that chair-a!
- 00:13:29,226 --> 00:13:30,477 The Lord wants you to walk, Timmy!
- 00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:32,437 Walk, Timmy!
- 00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:33,980 Timmy!
- 00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:35,023 He walks!
- 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,107 Wow! Wow!
- 00:13:36,233 --> 00:13:37,859 Wagh!
- 00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:39,152 Yes, praise the Lord!
- 00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:41,905 Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!
- 00:13:43,698 --> 00:13:45,242 And now it's like there's one guy who's horrible to me,
- 00:13:45,367 --> 00:13:47,202 but I'm totally sexually attracted to,
- 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,204 and then one guy who's really nice to me,
- 00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:51,706 but I'm not sexually attracted to at all!
- 00:13:51,832 --> 00:13:52,916 Wow, that really sucks.
- 00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:54,793 I've asked everybody for advice,
- 00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:56,878 but nobody seems to know the answer.
- 00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:59,548 Well, there's one person who I always used to ask when I needed advice.
- 00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:00,298 Who?
- 00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:01,758 God.
- 00:14:01,883 --> 00:14:03,718 God? I can't do that.
- 00:14:03,844 --> 00:14:06,471 I haven't spoken to God in, like, 5,000 years.
- 00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:09,766 Well then, maybe it's time.
- 00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:14,938 ♪ Doot doot doo doot doot doo ♪
- 00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:16,731 ♪ Doot doot doo ♪ ♪ Doot doot doo ♪
- 00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:19,150 ♪ For he is Lord Lord Lord Lord ♪
- 00:14:19,276 --> 00:14:20,110 Where are you from, little boy?
- 00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:21,444 Denver.
- 00:14:21,570 --> 00:14:22,904 And God is telling me that you have...
- 00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,030 Bad eyesight, is that it?
- 00:14:24,155 --> 00:14:25,156 Yeah, that's right!
- 00:14:25,282 --> 00:14:26,491 Ohh!
- 00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:28,118 Well, God is going to heal those eyes
- 00:14:28,243 --> 00:14:30,412 and save you from the devil be gone-a!
- 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:31,955 Hooray!
- 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,916 ♪ For he is Lord Lord Lord Lord ♪
- 00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:38,211 Right here we have a little girl who is very, very ugly.
- 00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:40,547 Do you believe he's going to cure your face of the uglies?
- 00:14:40,672 --> 00:14:42,007 Yes!
- 00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:43,383 He's gonna take that ugly face
- 00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:45,218 and make you reasonable to look at bwap!
- 00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:46,970 Wrrrrrrrr!
- 00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:48,638 Oh good Lord, somebody say amen!
- 00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:49,931 Amen! Amen!
- 00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,516 ♪ Doot doot doo ♪
- 00:14:55,937 --> 00:14:57,898 Hi, hi, welcome to Heaven, brother!
- 00:14:58,023 --> 00:15:00,150 You followed the Mormon faith and so you've been let in!
- 00:15:00,275 --> 00:15:02,360 Uh, actually, I'm just stopping by.
- 00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:04,321 Well, you picked a great time!
- 00:15:04,446 --> 00:15:05,947 We've got cookies and punch
- 00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:07,574 and were just about to start playing charades!
- 00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:09,117 Hooray! Hooray!
- 00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,619 And then Brother Stephen's brought his guitar
- 00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,996 so we can sing songs about how much it hurts to lie!
- 00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:14,372 Oooh! Oooh!
- 00:15:14,497 --> 00:15:16,207 Uh, look, I just need to talk with God.
- 00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:17,876 Is he around?
- 00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:20,045 Sure, all you have to do is say his name and he's there.
- 00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:21,379 I'm so grateful for that.
- 00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:22,714 Me too! Me too!
- 00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:24,090 Great, thanks.
- 00:15:24,215 --> 00:15:28,303 Uh, hello, God?
- 00:15:30,055 --> 00:15:33,558 It's uh... Satan.
- 00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:38,939 Yea, look upon me and know me.
- 00:15:39,064 --> 00:15:39,940 Hi, God.
- 00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:41,232 Hello, Satan.
- 00:15:41,358 --> 00:15:42,817 It's been a long time.
- 00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:43,902 Yeah.
- 00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:45,487 What brings you here?
- 00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,530 Do you wish to mount your unholy war against Heaven?
- 00:15:47,656 --> 00:15:50,992 No, I have a problem and I need your advice.
- 00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,411 You want to rule more than Hell?
- 00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:54,955 You want to destroy the Earth?
- 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,582 No, it's kind of a long story but...
- 00:15:57,707 --> 00:16:01,461 Well, it all started when this Iraqi dictator, Saddam Hussein,
- 00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:03,546 was killed by a pack of wild boars.
- 00:16:03,672 --> 00:16:05,882 I remember when I first met him in Hell,
- 00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:08,134 it was a lovely morning in April and...
- 00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:11,221 ♪ Oh praise the Lord ♪
- 00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:13,264 And now I am receiving a message directly from God!
- 00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:15,100 God is telling me...
- 00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:17,769 That each and every one of you is to walk up to this stage
- 00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:20,105 and give me one dollar!
- 00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:24,401 So, I want everyone to feel the love of God by coming on up here
- 00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:26,695 and putting a dollar in the box-a!
- 00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:29,364 Come on, don't be shy, come on-a!
- 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,032 Dude, that seems kind of weird.
- 00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:33,118 Yeah, I don't remember him saying anything about <i>this.</i>
- 00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:37,372 And now Chris and Saddam just keep killing each other over and over
- 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,582 and I don't know which one to pick!
- 00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:43,086 Jesus, what the Hell happened to you?
- 00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:44,713 Huh?
- 00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:47,007 You got kicked outta here for being a headstrong rebel.
- 00:16:47,132 --> 00:16:49,175 And now you're a whiny little bitch.
- 00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,720 I just don't know which one to pick!
- 00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:54,055 No, you've become dependent on relationships,
- 00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,307 so you haven't even <i>considered</i> the option
- 00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:58,560 of not being with either of them!
- 00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,228 If you're not sexually attracted to someone,
- 00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:01,604 you're not ever going to be.
- 00:17:01,730 --> 00:17:03,189 But Saddam isn't right either.
- 00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:04,399 He's the other extreme.
- 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:06,401 You need to spend time alone,
- 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:09,029 so that you can find the balance the middle ground.
- 00:17:09,154 --> 00:17:11,031 That's what I always do, because I'm a Buddhist.
- 00:17:11,156 --> 00:17:12,657 God, you're right.
- 00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:14,325 You know, I've had steady relationships
- 00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:16,119 for the last thousand years.
- 00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:17,829 When one ends, I just start another one,
- 00:17:17,954 --> 00:17:20,707 but I haven't taken the time to be secure with myself.
- 00:17:20,832 --> 00:17:22,250 Bingo.
- 00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:25,128 Hey, thanks, God.
- 00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:28,298 I forgot how clear you make things sometimes.
- 00:17:28,423 --> 00:17:29,758 It was nice to see you again, Satan.
- 00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,009 You, too.
- 00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:32,552 Good-bye.
- 00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:36,848 Would you like to stay for some cookies and punch?
- 00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:38,141 Yes, would you?
- 00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:39,809 Uh, no, I need to be getting back.
- 00:17:39,934 --> 00:17:42,145 Oh alright then, but you're gonna miss our big play!
- 00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:45,690 Yes, we're going to do a play about how alcohol can ruin family life.
- 00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:49,903 Well, sounds great, but I really gotta go.
- 00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:52,572 Well, he seemed like a nice fellow.
- 00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:54,574 Yes!
- 00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:56,284 Let's make things out of egg cartons!
- 00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:57,994 Ooh let's! Good idea!
- 00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:00,789 ♪ Doot doot doo doot doot doo ♪
- 00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:03,583 Yeeess, yeeesss!
- 00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:07,087 It worked, you guys, it actually worked!
- 00:18:07,212 --> 00:18:08,254 What worked?
- 00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:09,881 Everybody bought the whole act!
- 00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:12,050 They'll keep giving and giving until we have it all!
- 00:18:12,175 --> 00:18:13,218 What? - What?
- 00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:14,594 You're keeping that money yourself?
- 00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:15,804 Of course, you guys, and then we can make...
- 00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:18,139 Ten million dollars!
- 00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,016 Look, the "Tooth Fairy" thing didn't work,
- 00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:22,268 the "boy band" thing didn't last, so I tried this route.
- 00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:24,104 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- 00:18:24,229 --> 00:18:25,355 You mean that this whole thing has just been a way for you
- 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:26,481 to make ten million dollars?
- 00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:28,191 It all came to me days ago,
- 00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:29,776 when we were first in Sunday School.
- 00:18:29,901 --> 00:18:31,611 But what about going to Hell and all that?
- 00:18:31,736 --> 00:18:33,446 Dude, if God is all-understanding, he wouldn't send us to Hell.
- 00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:34,656 Even Sister Anne told me that!
- 00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,282 Then why didn't you tell us?
- 00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:38,368 My brain is of a much larger size than you guys.
- 00:18:38,493 --> 00:18:39,619 I couldn't expect you to understand.
- 00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:41,454 Not until you actually <i>saw</i> the cash flow.
- 00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:43,498 The only thing of yours that's larger in size is your big fat ass!
- 00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:45,458 Suck my balls.
- 00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:46,876 Dude, I am <i>so</i> disillusioned right now.
- 00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:48,920 Die, pussy!
- 00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:50,046 Ow!
- 00:18:50,171 --> 00:18:51,631 Aagh!
- 00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:53,675 Wagahgh!
- 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,051 Aahh!
- 00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:57,512 Guys, guys, guys!
- 00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,639 Look, you both can stop fighting now.
- 00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:00,974 I've made a decision.
- 00:19:01,099 --> 00:19:02,058 You have?
- 00:19:02,183 --> 00:19:03,810 Yes, I...
- 00:19:03,935 --> 00:19:05,520 Don't want to be with either one of you.
- 00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:06,521 What? - What?
- 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,273 Saddam, you're an asshole
- 00:19:08,398 --> 00:19:10,191 and you'll never be the friend that I want.
- 00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:12,485 And Chris, well, you're a pussy
- 00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:14,487 and you'll never be the lover I want.
- 00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:19,742 So I'm just gonna be alone for a while and learn to like myself.
- 00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:21,995 Satan, can we go for a walk in the park?
- 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:23,997 No, I'm not going on a walk.
- 00:19:24,122 --> 00:19:26,583 You're a pussy, Chris and you drive me crazy, go away.
- 00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:27,917 Fine.
- 00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:31,504 You can't leave me, Satan, I won't let you!
- 00:19:32,797 --> 00:19:35,008 Today is another day
- 00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:37,468 and that's another dollar the Lord needs from you-a!
- 00:19:37,594 --> 00:19:39,554 So come on up and give to the Lord-a!
- 00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:41,723 Alright, kids, it's time to go!
- 00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:43,516 It's time for this to stop.
- 00:19:43,641 --> 00:19:46,102 Sister Anne is a blasphemaaa!
- 00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:47,520 I know you won't listen to me.
- 00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:49,814 That's why I brought somebody else.
- 00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:53,026 Wow! Oohh!
- 00:19:53,151 --> 00:19:54,027 Jesus!
- 00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:55,778 Uh-oh.
- 00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:57,238 Kids, you all need to stop spending all your time here
- 00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:58,406 and go back to school.
- 00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:00,533 Jesus, ex-nay on the ool-skay.
- 00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:02,660 God doesn't want you to spend all your time being afraid of Hell
- 00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:04,204 or praising his name.
- 00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:06,414 God wants you to spend your time helping others
- 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,374 and living a good, happy life.
- 00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:10,627 That's how you live for him.
- 00:20:10,752 --> 00:20:12,253 Yes, by doing that...
- 00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:14,339 And putting a dollar in the box-a!
- 00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:16,591 Let's go ice skating!
- 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,509 Yay! Yay!
- 00:20:18,635 --> 00:20:20,511 We can help Timmy learn how to ice skate, too.
- 00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:21,471 Yeah!
- 00:20:21,596 --> 00:20:23,932 No, come back!
- 00:20:24,057 --> 00:20:26,059 You face everlasting damnation!
- 00:20:26,184 --> 00:20:28,228 Wait!
- 00:20:28,353 --> 00:20:30,897 No, no, I can't be cheated out of my ten million dollars again!
- 00:20:31,022 --> 00:20:32,190 God dammit!
- 00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:33,274 Serves you right, Cartman!
- 00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:35,109 Yeah!
- 00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:36,986 But, Eric, I think this time I have to teach you a lesson.
- 00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:39,530 I'm sending you somewhere to think about your sins!
- 00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:41,074 You're gonna send me to Hell?
- 00:20:41,199 --> 00:20:43,993 No, worse!
- 00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:47,330 Eric, Eric!
- 00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:48,790 Oh crap!
- 00:20:53,503 --> 00:20:54,712 ♪ Da da da daa ♪
- 00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:55,630 Hi, Bob! Hi, Rick!
- 00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:56,673 Hi, Satan.
- 00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:57,966 There you are!
- 00:20:58,091 --> 00:20:59,384 Ugh, not again.
- 00:20:59,509 --> 00:21:00,969 You know you can't live without me!
- 00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:02,845 Now get that ass back to bed!
- 00:21:02,971 --> 00:21:05,265 Saddam, I told you, I don't need you anymore.
- 00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:06,474 You can't leave me, Satan.
- 00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:07,892 Nobody leaves me!
- 00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:09,394 Yes, I can!
- 00:21:09,519 --> 00:21:11,271 Agahgh!
- 00:21:11,396 --> 00:21:12,814 You little prick!
- 00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:14,607 Goodbye forever, Saddam!
- 00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:16,025 What are you talking about?
- 00:21:16,150 --> 00:21:17,610 You can kill me, but I'll be back tomorrow!
- 00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:19,529 Not this time!
- 00:21:19,654 --> 00:21:22,031 I asked a favor of an old friend of mine to let you in.
- 00:21:22,156 --> 00:21:24,033 Let me in where?
- 00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,329 What the-what the Hell is this place?
- 00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:29,664 Hello and welcome!
- 00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:30,581 We're glad you made it, brother!
- 00:21:30,707 --> 00:21:31,916 Who the hell are you?
- 00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:33,751 We're just about to do a play
- 00:21:33,876 --> 00:21:36,087 about how much stealing hurts you deep inside.
- 00:21:36,212 --> 00:21:37,463 Come join us! Let's go!
- 00:21:37,588 --> 00:21:38,756 You're here forever!
- 00:21:38,881 --> 00:21:39,716 No!
- 00:21:39,841 --> 00:21:41,509 Noooooooooooo!
- 00:00:08,134 --> 00:00:11,220 Today, we are going to talk about Hell!
- 00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:13,639 Hello, Satan!
- 00:00:13,764 --> 00:00:15,224 Saddam.
- 00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:16,892 Us Jews don't believe in Hell.
- 00:00:17,018 --> 00:00:18,227 But what if we're wrong?
- 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:19,895 Let's go!
- 00:00:21,022 --> 00:00:22,148 They killed Kenny!
- 00:00:22,273 --> 00:00:24,358 He had sins that he didn't confess!
- 00:00:24,483 --> 00:00:27,903 No, Saddam, I told you, I'm with Chris now.
- 00:00:28,029 --> 00:00:29,697 Boys, it is your Christian duty
- 00:00:29,822 --> 00:00:31,282 to save the souls of your friends.
- 00:00:31,407 --> 00:00:32,700 I love you, Satan.
- 00:00:32,825 --> 00:00:34,243 I love you too, Saddam.
- 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,412 [all] Agh!
- 00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:38,247 Fonz, there is no way you can jump that shark with your waterskis!
- 00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:39,957 Ay, I've gotta try, Richie!
- 00:00:40,082 --> 00:00:42,752 Ooh!
- 00:00:42,877 --> 00:00:44,462 Dude, if this guy's going to Hell?
- 00:00:44,587 --> 00:00:45,921 Who's gonna save us?
- 00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:47,131 Well, it looks like we're gonna have to save
- 00:00:47,256 --> 00:00:48,883 Everyone in this town ourselves!
- 00:00:49,008 --> 00:00:50,259 Go Fonz!
- 00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,261 Aaaayyyy--
- 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,472 [narrator] And now the exciting conclusion of "South Park"!
- 00:00:54,597 --> 00:00:55,473 Aayyyyy!
- 00:00:55,598 --> 00:00:57,767 Aaghgh!
- 00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:01,145 I told him he couldn't do it.
- 00:01:06,692 --> 00:01:09,445 I am saying this because we must be saved-a!
- 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:12,239 The Lord is powerful and he will smote the sinners
- 00:01:12,364 --> 00:01:14,742 and send them to everlasting Hell-a!
- 00:01:14,867 --> 00:01:16,911 If you do not live your life for him-a!
- 00:01:17,036 --> 00:01:19,080 Then to the lake of fire you shall go-a!
- 00:01:19,205 --> 00:01:21,248 You see that, parents?
- 00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:23,501 Your children have refused to come in to class since this morning!
- 00:01:23,626 --> 00:01:26,128 I'm afraid your son is the leader, Ms. Cartman.
- 00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:27,838 Apparently he's read the entire Bible
- 00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:30,049 and now he's scaring the hell out of everyone.
- 00:01:30,174 --> 00:01:31,884 Poopie-kins!
- 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:34,303 It's time to stop preaching damnation to everyone, sweetie.
- 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:36,764 Don't you guys, um...
- 00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:38,599 Persercrute our religious beliefs!
- 00:01:38,724 --> 00:01:40,017 [all] Yeah!
- 00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:41,352 We're not trying to persecute you, kids.
- 00:01:41,477 --> 00:01:43,104 But you're supposed to be in school!
- 00:01:43,229 --> 00:01:44,188 What purpose does school have?
- 00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:45,856 The Bible says the only goal in this life
- 00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:47,608 is to praise God and get into heaven!
- 00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:49,985 Yeah, this life is short, the afterlife is forever!
- 00:01:50,111 --> 00:01:52,738 Don't listen to them, kids, you have to go to school!
- 00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:54,615 Many of you knew Kenny McCormick.
- 00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:56,867 He was a playful, school-going eight-year-old.
- 00:01:56,992 --> 00:01:58,202 And then yesterday...
- 00:01:58,327 --> 00:02:00,371 He was smacked down by the Lord-a!
- 00:02:00,496 --> 00:02:02,915 God bitch slapped him right to the fiery depths of Hell!
- 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,416 So when will you go?
- 00:02:04,542 --> 00:02:06,043 Tomorrow, ten years? Does it matter?
- 00:02:06,168 --> 00:02:07,586 No!
- 00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:08,963 Because unless you give this life to the Lord,
- 00:02:09,088 --> 00:02:10,881 that life belongs to Satan!
- 00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:12,341 [all] Agh!
- 00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,510 But we cannot worship God in that church
- 00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,095 where the priest of sin resides!
- 00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:17,680 So we will build a new church!
- 00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:20,266 With crystal walls, a ceiling eighty-feet high,
- 00:02:20,391 --> 00:02:23,018 and a slide that connects this part myha to this part mhya!
- 00:02:23,144 --> 00:02:24,395 Who will help us!
- 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:25,563 I will! I will!
- 00:02:25,688 --> 00:02:26,897 Praise God-a!
- 00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:29,316 [screaming]
- 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,363 if I go spend the night with Saddam,
- 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,448 then it's over between me and Chris.
- 00:02:36,574 --> 00:02:38,450 Chris has been so nice to me.
- 00:02:38,576 --> 00:02:41,203 And I know Saddam will just hurt me again.
- 00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:43,998 Maybe I'll just go talk to Saddam.
- 00:02:44,123 --> 00:02:47,751 I need closure, yeah, that's it, I need closure.
- 00:02:47,877 --> 00:02:49,253 What am I doing?
- 00:02:49,378 --> 00:02:51,213 What took ya so long, baby?
- 00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:53,591 Saddam, I'm just here to talk.
- 00:02:53,716 --> 00:02:56,468 Great, let's talk!
- 00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,638 Mmm, this bed is comfy-womfy!
- 00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:02,099 Saddam, I only came here because I need closure.
- 00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:04,101 Sounds fun, you know me, I'll try anything!
- 00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:05,769 No, Saddam, listen to me--
- 00:03:05,895 --> 00:03:07,188 Would you like a drink?
- 00:03:07,313 --> 00:03:10,065 Maybe just a little one, I have to go back soon.
- 00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:13,068 I need you to understand that we can't be together anymore.
- 00:03:13,194 --> 00:03:15,112 I need you to <i>not</i> come by the condo,
- 00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:16,655 and <i>not</i> try to see me.
- 00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:19,116 Chris thinks we can all be friends, but I don't.
- 00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:20,993 And I have to focus on Chris now.
- 00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:22,703 What is this?
- 00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:24,997 These hotels have all kinds of crazy channels.
- 00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:26,373 Saddam, will you listen to me?
- 00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:27,625 Chris is a great person!
- 00:03:27,750 --> 00:03:29,335 He is the one I want to be with now!
- 00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:31,921 Really, so then what are you doing here?
- 00:03:32,046 --> 00:03:34,548 I don't know about you,
- 00:03:34,673 --> 00:03:36,759 but this video is gettin' me pretty hot.
- 00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:37,718 Saddam...
- 00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:39,929 Here, have another drink.
- 00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:46,894 Ugh, oh God, my head!
- 00:03:47,019 --> 00:03:49,730 I drank too much... Chris?
- 00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:50,981 Oh no!
- 00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:54,693 Man, look at that!
- 00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:56,695 We went through fourteen bottles of vegetable oil!
- 00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,155 Ooh, I'm all greasy!
- 00:03:58,280 --> 00:03:59,907 Oh God, what time is it?
- 00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:01,325 Last night was awesome!
- 00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:02,868 Aren't we together again now?
- 00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:04,328 I don't know, I guess so.
- 00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:06,330 But now I have to go home and tell Chris.
- 00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:08,123 Screw him!
- 00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:10,584 No, Saddam, I at least owe him an explanation.
- 00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:12,962 I just don't know what I'm gonna say.
- 00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:16,382 I know how to solve this little problem.
- 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:19,551 [tour guide] We are now entering Ensenada,
- 00:04:19,677 --> 00:04:22,179 the second largest city on the Mexican Baja Peninsula.
- 00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:25,474 We have now traveled over 2000 miles since leaving New York City!
- 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,518 We'll just be stopping here for a few moments for gas
- 00:04:27,643 --> 00:04:30,479 and then our tour will continue on to its final destination!
- 00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,690 <i>Oiga, hay algo pegado bajo el autobus!</i>
- 00:04:32,815 --> 00:04:35,609 <i>Que</i>? What's stuck to the bottom of the bus?
- 00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:38,612 Hmph!
- 00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:40,572 Oh, goodness.
- 00:04:40,698 --> 00:04:41,949 We must have run over a little Mexican further up north.
- 00:04:42,074 --> 00:04:43,033 Is it okay?
- 00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:44,868 <i>Pienso que si.</i>
- 00:04:44,994 --> 00:04:48,372 Well, here's fifty for the gas, <i>adios!</i>
- 00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:50,582 Where am I? Que?
- 00:04:50,708 --> 00:04:52,793 Where am I? Que?
- 00:05:01,010 --> 00:05:02,344 It is beautiful.
- 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:03,929 Thine church is almost completeth.
- 00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:05,639 There's no way God would want to send us to Hell now!
- 00:05:05,764 --> 00:05:07,057 Yeah this church kicks a--
- 00:05:07,182 --> 00:05:08,517 It, it kicks.
- 00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,102 Hello, boys.
- 00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,603 Don't try to take me away again, Mom and Dad!
- 00:05:11,729 --> 00:05:12,980 I told you, I renounced the Jewish faith!
- 00:05:13,105 --> 00:05:15,065 It's not that, Kyle.
- 00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:17,318 It's just that Eric's mother needs to see you all right away.
- 00:05:17,443 --> 00:05:20,779 Just really quick, she says it's very important.
- 00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:22,573 Very well, yea, guys,
- 00:05:22,698 --> 00:05:24,992 let us walk to mine home and see what mine mom wants.
- 00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:28,495 I sure hope this works.
- 00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:31,665 Hello, kiddies!
- 00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:34,418 I made you all powdered-donut pancake surprise!
- 00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:35,961 Wow, cool!
- 00:05:36,086 --> 00:05:37,421 No, it is a trick!
- 00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:39,006 Do not vex me, oh temptress!
- 00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:40,924 What?
- 00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:42,134 This is a distraction from our work on the church!
- 00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:43,802 Do not think that you can tempt us with toys...
- 00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:45,637 And games...
- 00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:47,723 And tidings of powdered-donut pancake surprise!
- 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:49,558 For it is the afterlife we concern ourselves with!
- 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:52,102 Not the pleasures on this earth!
- 00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:53,771 But salvation in the world after!
- 00:05:53,896 --> 00:05:55,189 Yeah!
- 00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:57,274 Oh, well, alrighty then.
- 00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:59,026 I don't think it worked.
- 00:05:59,151 --> 00:06:00,736 Aw! Aw!
- 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:01,779 Let us get back to our work at the church.
- 00:06:01,904 --> 00:06:03,322 [ring]
- 00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:05,074 Yea, I shall answer the phone-na.
- 00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:06,325 Hello?
- 00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:08,327 Mprh mprm rm rmph rm rmph!
- 00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:10,496 Oh my God! - What?
- 00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:12,373 It's Kenny, he's calling from beyond the grave!
- 00:06:12,498 --> 00:06:13,374 Kenny? What's he say!
- 00:06:13,499 --> 00:06:14,625 Ask him what Hell is like!
- 00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:16,085 Kenny, you have to tell us about Hell!
- 00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,753 Give us every last horrible detail!
- 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,797 Um...
- 00:06:22,633 --> 00:06:25,094 Oh God, Chris is gonna be so mad at me!
- 00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:26,929 Well, here goes...
- 00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:28,389 Hey, you.
- 00:06:28,514 --> 00:06:29,890 Hi, Chris.
- 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:32,684 You... Were out all night.
- 00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:34,353 Yeah, I just...
- 00:06:34,478 --> 00:06:36,647 Spent the night walking around the marina.
- 00:06:36,772 --> 00:06:39,316 Satan, you know you're not a very good liar.
- 00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:40,692 You went and saw Saddam, didn't you?
- 00:06:40,818 --> 00:06:42,236 Yes.
- 00:06:42,361 --> 00:06:44,738 Satan... I understand.
- 00:06:44,863 --> 00:06:45,989 What?
- 00:06:46,115 --> 00:06:47,825 I still feel secure and safe with you.
- 00:06:47,950 --> 00:06:49,576 Oh, no!
- 00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:51,370 What, what's wrong? I said it's okay.
- 00:06:51,495 --> 00:06:52,704 I know!
- 00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:54,039 Well, what more do you want from me?
- 00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:56,291 Well, could you not be such a pussy about it?
- 00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:58,502 I mean, can't you just say
- 00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:00,796 "if you ever see Saddam again I'll break your legs"
- 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,298 or "I'm gonna go kick Saddam's ass" or something?
- 00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:05,259 Satan, I'm a 90's man.
- 00:07:05,384 --> 00:07:08,011 I cry when I need to, I share my feelings
- 00:07:08,137 --> 00:07:09,805 and I keep my mind open about everything.
- 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:13,016 Just give me some boundaries, be jealous!
- 00:07:13,142 --> 00:07:15,727 Go throw a football around, for Christ's sake!
- 00:07:15,853 --> 00:07:17,521 Now you're starting to hurt my feelings.
- 00:07:17,646 --> 00:07:20,107 I'm sorry, Chris.
- 00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:23,402 It's not you, really, it's me.
- 00:07:23,527 --> 00:07:25,737 You're the best thing that's ever happened to me
- 00:07:25,863 --> 00:07:28,991 and for some reason, I can't just accept that.
- 00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:31,160 Die, pussy! Aahghgh!
- 00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:32,578 Chris!
- 00:07:32,703 --> 00:07:33,912 Saddam what the Hell are you doing?
- 00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:36,248 There, I got rid of the problem for you!
- 00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:37,249 Now there's no conflict!
- 00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:39,501 No, not like this!
- 00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:48,135 Friends, I have to tell you that last night,
- 00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:50,804 I received a phone call from beyond the grave!
- 00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:52,139 [gasp] [gasp]
- 00:07:52,264 --> 00:07:53,724 It was our departed friend, Kenny,
- 00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:55,601 calling from the depths of Hell!
- 00:07:55,726 --> 00:07:59,521 And he described what Hell is like in horrid detail!
- 00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:02,191 He said that in Hell, the smell is awful!
- 00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:05,611 He said that in Hell, everyone speaks Spanish!
- 00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:06,737 Aagh! Aagh!
- 00:08:06,862 --> 00:08:08,947 He said there is water in Hell,
- 00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:11,950 but if you drink it, you pee blood out your ass for seven hours!
- 00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:12,826 No! No!
- 00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,828 And perhaps worst of all,
- 00:08:14,953 --> 00:08:18,081 in Hell, there are dozens and dozens of little trinket stores.
- 00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:20,459 But they all have the same little trinkets in them!
- 00:08:20,584 --> 00:08:21,585 Aaghgh! Aaghgh!
- 00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:23,003 Where is our daughter!
- 00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:24,296 Dad?
- 00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:26,006 Marcy, you are coming home this instant!
- 00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:28,634 We are saving your daughter from the clutches of Hell, sir!
- 00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:30,928 You're not going to make my daughter part of your cult!
- 00:08:31,053 --> 00:08:33,013 Your daughter could die tomorrow and then what?
- 00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:35,224 You're just a stupid little fat kid who thinks that--
- 00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:36,433 Stephen?
- 00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:38,685 Stephen, no!
- 00:08:38,810 --> 00:08:40,354 The Lord has spoken again!
- 00:08:40,479 --> 00:08:42,397 Oh forgive us, Lord, for our sins!
- 00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:43,690 Forgive us Lord! Forgive us Lord!
- 00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:44,983 Let us pray!
- 00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:46,652 Heavenly Father, do not send us to Hell.
- 00:08:46,777 --> 00:08:47,736 We're sorry.
- 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,321 Whatever we did, we're sorry.
- 00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:50,531 Stephen?
- 00:08:50,656 --> 00:08:51,949 Stephen!
- 00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:54,785 Where-where am I?
- 00:08:54,910 --> 00:08:57,162 Where are we? - Oh my God!
- 00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:58,205 What's happening?
- 00:08:58,330 --> 00:08:59,790 Aaghgh!
- 00:08:59,915 --> 00:09:00,832 Hello newcomers and welcome.
- 00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:02,543 Can everybody hear me? Hello?
- 00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:04,545 Can everybody-okay.
- 00:09:04,670 --> 00:09:06,255 I'm the Hell director.
- 00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:10,217 It looks like we have about 8,615 of you newbies today.
- 00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:13,011 And for those of you who were a little confused,
- 00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:15,556 uh, you are dead and this is Hell.
- 00:09:15,681 --> 00:09:18,475 So abandon all hope and yadda-yadda-yadda.
- 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:21,895 Uh, we're now going to start the orientation process which will last about--
- 00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,564 Hey, wait a minute, I shouldn't be here!
- 00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:25,732 I was a totally strict and devout Protestant!
- 00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:27,025 I thought we went to heaven!
- 00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:29,069 Yes, well, I'm afraid you were wrong.
- 00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:31,071 I was a practicing Jehovah's Witness.
- 00:09:31,196 --> 00:09:33,031 You picked the wrong religion, as well.
- 00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:34,741 Well, who was right? Who gets into heaven?
- 00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:37,035 I'm afraid it was the <i>Mormons.</i>
- 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,371 Yes, the <i>Mormons</i> were the correct answer.
- 00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:41,039 Aw! Aw!
- 00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:42,541 So now, I'd like to quickly introduce
- 00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:45,752 your new ruler and master for eternity, Satan.
- 00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:47,838 Rrrarrghghh!
- 00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:49,172 Aaaahghgh! Aaaahghgh!
- 00:09:49,298 --> 00:09:51,883 Now you are all part of my domain!
- 00:09:52,009 --> 00:09:54,845 Every day Hell grows larger and my minions...
- 00:09:54,970 --> 00:09:58,140 My minions...
- 00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,475 I'm sorry, I just can't do this today.
- 00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:03,437 I'm just-- I'm sorry.
- 00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:09,318 Uh, okay, thank you Satan.
- 00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:10,402 Satan!
- 00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:12,195 Excuse me, excuse me.
- 00:10:12,321 --> 00:10:14,281 Chris, but I thought you were dead!
- 00:10:14,406 --> 00:10:16,992 Yeah, well, where was I gonna go, Detroit?
- 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,910 Chris I didn't mean for Saddam to stab you--
- 00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:20,287 Hey, it's alright.
- 00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:21,913 All that matters is that I'm back
- 00:10:22,039 --> 00:10:23,624 and we're together forever, right?
- 00:10:23,749 --> 00:10:27,294 Uh, yeah, great.
- 00:10:27,419 --> 00:10:28,920 Aw! Aw!
- 00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:33,216 Let's see, Matthew 15:1-1.
- 00:10:33,342 --> 00:10:36,094 "Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man,
- 00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:38,555 but that which come out of the mouth defileth a man."
- 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:40,474 That's a good one, Clyde frog, interesting.
- 00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:42,142 Look, Eric, Sister Anne has come to visit you.
- 00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:43,644 Yea, it is nice to see you, Sister,
- 00:10:43,769 --> 00:10:45,687 but I must prepare for my next sermon.
- 00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,731 Eric, you need to stop what you're doing.
- 00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,858 You need to tell all the kids to go back to school
- 00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:51,485 and back to their normal lives.
- 00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:53,278 Sister, have you read this book?
- 00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:55,614 Yes, Eric, a lot more than you have.
- 00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:58,825 Then you know what it says happens to those that don't follow the Lord-a.
- 00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:01,286 Eric, the Lord doesn't just send everybody to Hell.
- 00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:02,829 That wouldn't make sense.
- 00:11:02,954 --> 00:11:04,456 He wants people to live their lives.
- 00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:06,166 Are you saying that what the Bible says isn't true?
- 00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:07,793 No!
- 00:11:07,918 --> 00:11:09,252 We've got Jews and perverts and bullies
- 00:11:09,378 --> 00:11:11,296 and all kinds of sinners in this town, Sister Anne-a.
- 00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:13,340 And without the priest, we've decided to save ourselves.
- 00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:16,134 The only ones the kids can trust now are me and Jesus!
- 00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:17,761 Ugh!
- 00:11:17,886 --> 00:11:19,805 Wait a minute, that's it!
- 00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:22,432 And I am going to save all of you right now!
- 00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:24,309 I am going to heal your sins!
- 00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:25,977 Whoa.
- 00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:30,857 Hello, Satan! Oh, crap, it's you.
- 00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:32,025 Yeah, it's me.
- 00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:33,485 I thought I killed you.
- 00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:35,112 Yeah, well-
- 00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:36,238 [together] where was I gonna go, Detroit?
- 00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:37,948 Do you have a couple minutes to go for a walk?
- 00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:38,990 A walk?!
- 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,743 Yeah, just real quick, around the park or something.
- 00:11:41,785 --> 00:11:43,370 Is this some kind of trick?
- 00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:45,288 No, I just want you to go for a quick walk with me.
- 00:11:45,414 --> 00:11:46,832 Please?
- 00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:48,500 Well, alright, just let me grab something real quick.
- 00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:51,211 ♪ Da da da da daa ♪
- 00:11:53,505 --> 00:11:55,215 Okay, let's walk.
- 00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:58,677 Saddam,
- 00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:00,512 I get the feeling that you don't like me very much.
- 00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:01,972 Gee, whatever gave you that idea?
- 00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:03,557 When I stabbed you in the head?
- 00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:05,809 Look, Satan is a very important person to me.
- 00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:07,686 And I know he's an important person to you, too.
- 00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:10,772 So don't you think it's best for us to try and get along?
- 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:13,358 I realize that some things about me bother you,
- 00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:14,901 so I'd like to hear what those things are,
- 00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:16,445 so that I can work on them.
- 00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:17,904 You know why I don't like you, Chris?
- 00:12:18,029 --> 00:12:19,281 Because you're the kind of guy,
- 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:20,991 who, if somebody didn't like him,
- 00:12:21,116 --> 00:12:22,534 he would take them for a walk in the park and ask them why.
- 00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:24,369 You're a pussy!
- 00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:27,330 Aaaaaaghhhhhh!
- 00:12:27,456 --> 00:12:29,166 Oh God!
- 00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:30,125 Ha ha ha ha!
- 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,376 Nooo! Aaghhgh!
- 00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:32,419 Agahgh!
- 00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:33,962 Ow!
- 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,047 Blagh!
- 00:12:42,179 --> 00:12:45,599 Today this Jewish boy and all sinners are going to be saved-a!
- 00:12:45,724 --> 00:12:47,350 Kyle, do you believe in God-a?
- 00:12:47,476 --> 00:12:48,643 Yes!
- 00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:49,728 Do you want to be saved from Hell-a?
- 00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:50,896 Yes!
- 00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:52,189 That's good, because right now
- 00:12:52,314 --> 00:12:54,149 all the Jewness is coming out of your body,
- 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,359 being replaced by the spirit of God-a!
- 00:12:56,485 --> 00:12:58,028 Bap! - Ow!
- 00:12:58,153 --> 00:12:59,529 Praise God, how do you feel now?
- 00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:01,114 Do you feel the light of God inside of you?
- 00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:02,491 Uh, I think so.
- 00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:03,950 Praise the Lord!
- 00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:05,702 Yay! Yay!
- 00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,329 ♪ For he is Lord ♪
- 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:09,581 ♪ He is Lord ♪
- 00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,082 Bring up the next person!
- 00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:13,043 This boy has been crippled with sin.
- 00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:15,420 But I hear God saying that this boy will walk!
- 00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:16,838 Hallelujah!
- 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,048 Timmy!
- 00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:19,382 We are gonna save you
- 00:13:19,508 --> 00:13:20,926 and you are gonna walk with the Lord-a!
- 00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:21,927 Timmy!
- 00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:23,595 Devil be gone-a!
- 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:24,679 Hagh!
- 00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:26,139 Now walk, Timmy!
- 00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:27,474 Hagh!
- 00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:29,100 Come on, Timmy, get out of that chair-a!
- 00:13:29,226 --> 00:13:30,477 The Lord wants you to walk, Timmy!
- 00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:32,437 Walk, Timmy!
- 00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:33,980 Timmy!
- 00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:35,023 He walks!
- 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,107 Wow! Wow!
- 00:13:36,233 --> 00:13:37,859 Wagh!
- 00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:39,152 Yes, praise the Lord!
- 00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:41,905 Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!
- 00:13:43,698 --> 00:13:45,242 And now it's like there's one guy who's horrible to me,
- 00:13:45,367 --> 00:13:47,202 but I'm totally sexually attracted to,
- 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,204 and then one guy who's really nice to me,
- 00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:51,706 but I'm not sexually attracted to at all!
- 00:13:51,832 --> 00:13:52,916 Wow, that really sucks.
- 00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:54,793 I've asked everybody for advice,
- 00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:56,878 but nobody seems to know the answer.
- 00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:59,548 Well, there's one person who I always used to ask when I needed advice.
- 00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:00,298 Who?
- 00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:01,758 God.
- 00:14:01,883 --> 00:14:03,718 God? I can't do that.
- 00:14:03,844 --> 00:14:06,471 I haven't spoken to God in, like, 5,000 years.
- 00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:09,766 Well then, maybe it's time.
- 00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:14,938 ♪ Doot doot doo doot doot doo ♪
- 00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:16,731 ♪ Doot doot doo ♪ ♪ Doot doot doo ♪
- 00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:19,150 ♪ For he is Lord Lord Lord Lord ♪
- 00:14:19,276 --> 00:14:20,110 Where are you from, little boy?
- 00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:21,444 Denver.
- 00:14:21,570 --> 00:14:22,904 And God is telling me that you have...
- 00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,030 Bad eyesight, is that it?
- 00:14:24,155 --> 00:14:25,156 Yeah, that's right!
- 00:14:25,282 --> 00:14:26,491 [all] Ohh!
- 00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:28,118 Well, God is going to heal those eyes
- 00:14:28,243 --> 00:14:30,412 and save you from the devil be gone-a!
- 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:31,955 [all] Hooray!
- 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,916 ♪ For he is Lord Lord Lord Lord ♪
- 00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:38,211 Right here we have a little girl who is very, very ugly.
- 00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:40,547 Do you believe he's going to cure your face of the uglies?
- 00:14:40,672 --> 00:14:42,007 Yes!
- 00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:43,383 He's gonna take that ugly face
- 00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:45,218 and make you reasonable to look at bwap!
- 00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:46,970 Wrrrrrrrr!
- 00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:48,638 Oh good Lord, somebody say amen!
- 00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:49,931 Amen! Amen!
- 00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,516 ♪ Doot doot doo ♪
- 00:14:55,937 --> 00:14:57,898 Hi, hi, welcome to Heaven, brother!
- 00:14:58,023 --> 00:15:00,150 You followed the Mormon faith and so you've been let in!
- 00:15:00,275 --> 00:15:02,360 Uh, actually, I'm just stopping by.
- 00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:04,321 Well, you picked a great time!
- 00:15:04,446 --> 00:15:05,947 We've got cookies and punch
- 00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:07,574 and were just about to start playing charades!
- 00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:09,117 Hooray! Hooray!
- 00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,619 And then Brother Stephen's brought his guitar
- 00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,996 so we can sing songs about how much it hurts to lie!
- 00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:14,372 Oooh! Oooh!
- 00:15:14,497 --> 00:15:16,207 Uh, look, I just need to talk with God.
- 00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:17,876 Is he around?
- 00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:20,045 Sure, all you have to do is say his name and he's there.
- 00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:21,379 I'm so grateful for that.
- 00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:22,714 Me too! Me too!
- 00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:24,090 Great, thanks.
- 00:15:24,215 --> 00:15:28,303 Uh, hello, God?
- 00:15:30,055 --> 00:15:33,558 It's uh... Satan.
- 00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:38,939 Yea, look upon me and know me.
- 00:15:39,064 --> 00:15:39,940 Hi, God.
- 00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:41,232 Hello, Satan.
- 00:15:41,358 --> 00:15:42,817 It's been a long time.
- 00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:43,902 Yeah.
- 00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:45,487 What brings you here?
- 00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,530 Do you wish to mount your unholy war against Heaven?
- 00:15:47,656 --> 00:15:50,992 No, I have a problem and I need your advice.
- 00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,411 You want to rule more than Hell?
- 00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:54,955 You want to destroy the Earth?
- 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,582 No, it's kind of a long story but...
- 00:15:57,707 --> 00:16:01,461 Well, it all started when this Iraqi dictator, Saddam Hussein,
- 00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:03,546 was killed by a pack of wild boars.
- 00:16:03,672 --> 00:16:05,882 I remember when I first met him in Hell,
- 00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:08,134 it was a lovely morning in April and...
- 00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:11,221 ♪ Oh praise the Lord ♪
- 00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:13,264 And now I am receiving a message directly from God!
- 00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:15,100 God is telling me...
- 00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:17,769 That each and every one of you is to walk up to this stage
- 00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:20,105 and give me one dollar!
- 00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:24,401 So, I want everyone to feel the love of God by coming on up here
- 00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:26,695 and putting a dollar in the box-a!
- 00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:29,364 Come on, don't be shy, come on-a!
- 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,032 Dude, that seems kind of weird.
- 00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:33,118 Yeah, I don't remember him saying anything about <i>this.</i>
- 00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:37,372 And now Chris and Saddam just keep killing each other over and over
- 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,582 and I don't know which one to pick!
- 00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:43,086 Jesus, what the Hell happened to you?
- 00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:44,713 Huh?
- 00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:47,007 You got kicked outta here for being a headstrong rebel.
- 00:16:47,132 --> 00:16:49,175 And now you're a whiny little bitch.
- 00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,720 I just don't know which one to pick!
- 00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:54,055 No, you've become dependent on relationships,
- 00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,307 so you haven't even <i>considered</i> the option
- 00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:58,560 of not being with either of them!
- 00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,228 If you're not sexually attracted to someone,
- 00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:01,604 you're not ever going to be.
- 00:17:01,730 --> 00:17:03,189 But Saddam isn't right either.
- 00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:04,399 He's the other extreme.
- 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:06,401 You need to spend time alone,
- 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:09,029 so that you can find the balance the middle ground.
- 00:17:09,154 --> 00:17:11,031 That's what I always do, because I'm a Buddhist.
- 00:17:11,156 --> 00:17:12,657 God, you're right.
- 00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:14,325 You know, I've had steady relationships
- 00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:16,119 for the last thousand years.
- 00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:17,829 When one ends, I just start another one,
- 00:17:17,954 --> 00:17:20,707 but I haven't taken the time to be secure with myself.
- 00:17:20,832 --> 00:17:22,250 Bingo.
- 00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:25,128 Hey, thanks, God.
- 00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:28,298 I forgot how clear you make things sometimes.
- 00:17:28,423 --> 00:17:29,758 It was nice to see you again, Satan.
- 00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,009 You, too.
- 00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:32,552 Good-bye.
- 00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:36,848 Would you like to stay for some cookies and punch?
- 00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:38,141 Yes, would you?
- 00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:39,809 Uh, no, I need to be getting back.
- 00:17:39,934 --> 00:17:42,145 Oh alright then, but you're gonna miss our big play!
- 00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:45,690 Yes, we're going to do a play about how alcohol can ruin family life.
- 00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:49,903 Well, sounds great, but I really gotta go.
- 00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:52,572 Well, he seemed like a nice fellow.
- 00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:54,574 Yes!
- 00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:56,284 Let's make things out of egg cartons!
- 00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:57,994 Ooh let's! Good idea!
- 00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:00,789 ♪ Doot doot doo doot doot doo ♪
- 00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:03,583 Yeeess, yeeesss!
- 00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:07,087 It worked, you guys, it actually worked!
- 00:18:07,212 --> 00:18:08,254 What worked?
- 00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:09,881 Everybody bought the whole act!
- 00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:12,050 They'll keep giving and giving until we have it all!
- 00:18:12,175 --> 00:18:13,218 What? - What?
- 00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:14,594 You're keeping that money yourself?
- 00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:15,804 Of course, you guys, and then we can make...
- 00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:18,139 Ten million dollars!
- 00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,016 Look, the "Tooth Fairy" thing didn't work,
- 00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:22,268 the "boy band" thing didn't last, so I tried this route.
- 00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:24,104 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- 00:18:24,229 --> 00:18:25,355 You mean that this whole thing has just been a way for you
- 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:26,481 to make ten million dollars?
- 00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:28,191 It all came to me days ago,
- 00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:29,776 when we were first in Sunday School.
- 00:18:29,901 --> 00:18:31,611 But what about going to Hell and all that?
- 00:18:31,736 --> 00:18:33,446 Dude, if God is all-understanding, he wouldn't send us to Hell.
- 00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:34,656 Even Sister Anne told me that!
- 00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,282 Then why didn't you tell us?
- 00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:38,368 My brain is of a much larger size than you guys.
- 00:18:38,493 --> 00:18:39,619 I couldn't expect you to understand.
- 00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:41,454 Not until you actually <i>saw</i> the cash flow.
- 00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:43,498 The only thing of yours that's larger in size is your big fat ass!
- 00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:45,458 Suck my balls.
- 00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:46,876 Dude, I am <i>so</i> disillusioned right now.
- 00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:48,920 Die, pussy!
- 00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:50,046 Ow!
- 00:18:50,171 --> 00:18:51,631 Aagh!
- 00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:53,675 Wagahgh!
- 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,051 Aahh!
- 00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:57,512 Guys, guys, guys!
- 00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,639 Look, you both can stop fighting now.
- 00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:00,974 I've made a decision.
- 00:19:01,099 --> 00:19:02,058 You have?
- 00:19:02,183 --> 00:19:03,810 Yes, I...
- 00:19:03,935 --> 00:19:05,520 Don't want to be with either one of you.
- 00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:06,521 What? - What?
- 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,273 Saddam, you're an asshole
- 00:19:08,398 --> 00:19:10,191 and you'll never be the friend that I want.
- 00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:12,485 And Chris, well, you're a pussy
- 00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:14,487 and you'll never be the lover I want.
- 00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:19,742 So I'm just gonna be alone for a while and learn to like myself.
- 00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:21,995 Satan, can we go for a walk in the park?
- 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:23,997 No, I'm not going on a walk.
- 00:19:24,122 --> 00:19:26,583 You're a pussy, Chris and you drive me crazy, go away.
- 00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:27,917 Fine.
- 00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:31,504 You can't leave me, Satan, I won't let you!
- 00:19:32,797 --> 00:19:35,008 Today is another day
- 00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:37,468 and that's another dollar the Lord needs from you-a!
- 00:19:37,594 --> 00:19:39,554 So come on up and give to the Lord-a!
- 00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:41,723 Alright, kids, it's time to go!
- 00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:43,516 It's time for this to stop.
- 00:19:43,641 --> 00:19:46,102 Sister Anne is a blasphemaaa!
- 00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:47,520 I know you won't listen to me.
- 00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:49,814 That's why I brought somebody else.
- 00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:53,026 Wow! Oohh!
- 00:19:53,151 --> 00:19:54,027 Jesus!
- 00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:55,778 Uh-oh.
- 00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:57,238 Kids, you all need to stop spending all your time here
- 00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:58,406 and go back to school.
- 00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:00,533 Jesus, ex-nay on the ool-skay.
- 00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:02,660 God doesn't want you to spend all your time being afraid of Hell
- 00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:04,204 or praising his name.
- 00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:06,414 God wants you to spend your time helping others
- 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,374 and living a good, happy life.
- 00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:10,627 That's how you live for him.
- 00:20:10,752 --> 00:20:12,253 Yes, by doing that...
- 00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:14,339 And putting a dollar in the box-a!
- 00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:16,591 Let's go ice skating!
- 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,509 Yay! Yay!
- 00:20:18,635 --> 00:20:20,511 We can help Timmy learn how to ice skate, too.
- 00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:21,471 Yeah!
- 00:20:21,596 --> 00:20:23,932 No, come back!
- 00:20:24,057 --> 00:20:26,059 You face everlasting damnation!
- 00:20:26,184 --> 00:20:28,228 Wait!
- 00:20:28,353 --> 00:20:30,897 No, no, I can't be cheated out of my ten million dollars again!
- 00:20:31,022 --> 00:20:32,190 God dammit!
- 00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:33,274 Serves you right, Cartman!
- 00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:35,109 Yeah!
- 00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:36,986 But, Eric, I think this time I have to teach you a lesson.
- 00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:39,530 I'm sending you somewhere to think about your sins!
- 00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:41,074 You're gonna send me to Hell?
- 00:20:41,199 --> 00:20:43,993 No, worse!
- 00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:47,330 Eric, Eric!
- 00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:48,790 Oh crap!
- 00:20:53,503 --> 00:20:54,712 ♪ Da da da daa ♪
- 00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:55,630 Hi, Bob! Hi, Rick!
- 00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:56,673 Hi, Satan.
- 00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:57,966 There you are!
- 00:20:58,091 --> 00:20:59,384 Ugh, not again.
- 00:20:59,509 --> 00:21:00,969 You know you can't live without me!
- 00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:02,845 Now get that ass back to bed!
- 00:21:02,971 --> 00:21:05,265 Saddam, I told you, I don't need you anymore.
- 00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:06,474 You can't leave me, Satan.
- 00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:07,892 Nobody leaves me!
- 00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:09,394 Yes, I can!
- 00:21:09,519 --> 00:21:11,271 Agahgh!
- 00:21:11,396 --> 00:21:12,814 You little prick!
- 00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:14,607 Goodbye forever, Saddam!
- 00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:16,025 What are you talking about?
- 00:21:16,150 --> 00:21:17,610 You can kill me, but I'll be back tomorrow!
- 00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:19,529 Not this time!
- 00:21:19,654 --> 00:21:22,031 I asked a favor of an old friend of mine to let you in.
- 00:21:22,156 --> 00:21:24,033 Let me in where?
- 00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,329 What the-what the Hell is this place?
- 00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:29,664 Hello and welcome!
- 00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:30,581 We're glad you made it, brother!
- 00:21:30,707 --> 00:21:31,916 Who the hell are you?
- 00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:33,751 We're just about to do a play
- 00:21:33,876 --> 00:21:36,087 about how much stealing hurts you deep inside.
- 00:21:36,212 --> 00:21:37,463 Come join us! Let's go!
- 00:21:37,588 --> 00:21:38,756 You're here forever!
- 00:21:38,881 --> 00:21:39,716 No!
- 00:21:39,841 --> 00:21:41,509 Noooooooooooo!
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