Кое-что, что можно сделать пальцем

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♪ Gonna have myself

a time ♪

00:00:11,971 --> 00:00:13,681

♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:15,141

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,266 --> 00:00:16,475

♪ I'm going down

to South Park ♪

00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,519

♪ Gonna leave

my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:20,229

♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,897

♪ People spouting

"howdy neighbor" ♪

00:00:22,023 --> 00:00:23,232

♪ Headin' on up

to South Park ♪

00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:24,984

♪ Gonna see

if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:29,780

♪ Come on down

to South Park ♪

00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:31,907

♪ And meet

some friends of mine ♪

00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:34,368

Tonight Stellar Productions

presents

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the boy band

of the decade

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it's Fingerbang live

from Madison Square Gardens!

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♪ Fingerbang ♪

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♪ Bang, bang ♪

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♪ Fingerbang bang, bang ♪

00:00:53,054 --> 00:00:54,430

♪ Bang, bang, bang ♪

00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:58,017

♪ I'm going fingerbang

bang you into my life ♪

00:00:58,142 --> 00:01:01,562

♪ Girl you like to fingerbang

and it's alright ♪

00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:04,607

♪ Because I'm the king of

fingerbang let's not fight ♪

00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:09,445

♪ I'm gonna fingerbang

bang you every night ♪

00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:13,365

♪ And girl you know that

you're the only girl for me ♪

00:01:13,491 --> 00:01:16,786

♪ Girl, girl you're the girl

of my fantasies ♪

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Cartman, I want you!

00:01:18,496 --> 00:01:22,124

♪ You're my girl ♪

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♪ Fingerbang bang ♪

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♪ Bang, bang, bang ♪

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♪ Fingerbang bang ♪

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♪ Bang, bang, bang ♪

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♪ I'm gonna

fingerbang bang ♪

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Yes, yes, yes,

I'm a star.

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I'm a star!

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I'm--

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Oh, I'm nobody,

goddamn it!

00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:43,521

Wait a minute,

maybe that was a sign from God.

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That's it, isn't it.

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You want me

to start a boy band,

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so I can make

$10 million, don't you?

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That's it!

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Gentlemen,

thank you for coming.

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This is the beginning

of a great time in our lives.

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God has finally

spoken to me, guys,

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and he has told me

how I can make $10 million.

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How?

- Boy band.

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Boy band?

- Boy band.

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I'm not being

in a faggy boy band.

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There's nothing faggy about

$10 million, asshole!

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This was a message from God!

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Dude, we don't have

any musical talent.

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That didn't stop any of

the other boy bands, dumbass!

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I've got prerecorded music we

can sing to, just like they do.

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All we need to do

is practice our choreography

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over and over and over.

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Shut up, Kenny.

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And then I know I can get us

a gig at the South Park Mall.

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So everybody

get in a straight line,

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we're going to listen to

the song from the top and--

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Wait a minute,

there's only four of us.

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So?

- So all boy bands

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have five members.

- What?

00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:31,610

N'sync, Backstreet Boys,

New Kids on the Block,

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all had five members.

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He's right.

- Damn it!

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Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

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We'll put off songs for now

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and hold auditions

for a fifth member.

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Get the word out that auditions

will be tomorrow morning.

00:02:41,287 --> 00:02:43,622

Did you have fun

at Eric's house today, Stanley?

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I guess.

- What did you do?

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Well, Cartman wants

to start a boy band,

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so we're going to rehearse

and then try to perform

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at the South Park Mall.

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Oh, that sounds nice.

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No, it does not sound nice.

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Stanley, you are going to have

no part of that boy band.

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Well, but, Dad,

all my friends are doing it.

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If all your friends

jumped off a cliff,

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would you do that too?

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Cartman says we can

make $10 million.

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You are not going to be

in a boy band, Stanley,

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and that is final!

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Geez, what's up Dad's ass?

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♪ Little bunny foo-foo

hopping through the forest ♪

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♪ Scoopin' up the field mice

and bopping 'em on the head ♪

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Down came the white angel

and she said,

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♪ Little bunny foo-foo

I don't want to see you ♪

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♪ Scoopin' up the field mice

and bopping 'em on the head ♪

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♪ So now I'm going to

turn you into a worm, ♪

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♪ bu-bunny foo-foo,

poof! ♪

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♪ Little wormy foo-foo

crawling through the forest ♪

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♪ Gettin' scooped up

by the field mice ♪

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♪ And g-gonna

bop him on the head ♪

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Ah, thank you, Butters.

We'll let you know.

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I can do it again.

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We'll let you know, Butters.

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Well, alright then.

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Pff, oh my God,

his intonation was so off!

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It was?

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Dude, I don't think I can sing

any better than that.

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Guys, if we're going to

impress the mall owner

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and get that gig, we better

do it better than that.

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Next!

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Ah, next is Ike Brovlofsky.

Kyle's brother?

00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:49,563

I promised my mom

I'd let him try.

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Christ sake.

What key?

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"G".

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♪ Itsy-bitsy spider

up the water spout ♪

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Next!

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♪ Oh, Danny boy,

the pipes are calling ♪

00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:05,704

♪ Clang, clangy, clang ♪

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Next audition!

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♪ E-f-g-h-l-j-k-l-m-n-p ♪

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Goddamn it, next!

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♪ G-u-b, when the teacher

wanna punch me ♪

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Not the next song,

the next person!

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Oh, man, this is gonna be

a long-ass day.

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Oh, no!

No, no, no, no!

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Sorry, Wendy, this is

try-outs for a boy band.

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Oh, come on, dude.

Let her try.

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No way!

- Come on, Cartman.

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You haven't

liked anybody else.

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Okay, okay, fine.

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Wow me!

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♪ Mrs. Landers was a health

nut, she cooked food in a wok ♪

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♪ Mr. Harris was her boyfriend

and he had a great big ♪

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♪ Cock-a-doodle-doodle,

the rooster just won't quit ♪

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♪ And I don't want my breakfast

because it taste like ♪

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♪ Shih tzus make good house pets

they're cuddly and sweet ♪

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♪ Monkeys aren't good to have

'cause they like to beat their ♪

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♪ Meeting in the office

a meeting in the hall ♪

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♪ The boss he wants to see you

so you can suck his ♪

00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:06,682

♪ Balzac was a writer,

he lived with Allen Funt ♪

00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,767

♪ Mrs. Roberts didn't like him

but that's because she's a ♪

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♪ Contaminated water

can really make you sick ♪

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♪ Your bladder gets infected

and blood comes out your ♪

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♪ Dictate what I'm saying

'cause it will bring you luck ♪

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♪ And if you all don't like it

I don't give a flying fuck ♪

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Thanks, Wendy, don't call us.

We won't call you either.

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Dude, what are you

talking about?

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That was awesome!

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Dude, she's a chick!

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Come on,

nobody's going to notice.

00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:30,456

Nobody's gonna notice?

00:05:30,581 --> 00:05:32,166

What about her huge

freakin' hooters, huh?

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She's the best chance we have.

I say she's in.

00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:34,960

Me too.

- Me too.

00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:36,670

Oh, this is a democratic

boy band, is it?

00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:38,172

Alright, fine.

She's in until she screws up.

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Yeah!

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Okay, you guys all ready

to rehearse?

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Cartman,

it's 6:00 in the morning.

00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,054

Do we have to rehearse

this early?

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We have to rehearse

all that we can.

00:05:46,722 --> 00:05:48,307

Now, check this out.

My mom made us costumes.

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Costumes?

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Yeah, this one's yours, Stan.

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This one is Kyle's.

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This one will cover-up

Wendy's hooters.

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Hey Cartman, how come

your costume has, like,

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nose-rings and facial hair?

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'Cause I'm, like,

you know, the tough one.

00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,277

Every boy band has to have

the one member that's,

00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:01,362

you know, is tough.

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I want to be

the tough one.

00:06:02,488 --> 00:06:04,573

Kyle, you are the sweet one.

00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,033

Will you please

just cooperate and not--

00:06:06,158 --> 00:06:07,743

I wanna be

the tough one.

00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,787

You can't be the tough one

because you're Jewish!

00:06:09,912 --> 00:06:11,246

Jews are tough!

- Since when?

00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:12,539

Since Abraham, fatass!

00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:14,875

Alright, fine, here.

00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,335

Jesus Christ,

I wonder if every boy band

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had to go through this.

00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:22,591

Hey Cartman, what does

fingerbang mean anyways?

00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,343

I heard it on HBO.

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It means like, you know, when

you pretend to use your finger

00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:27,304

like a gun or something.

00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:30,349

Kenny says,

"that's not what it means."

00:06:30,474 --> 00:06:32,142

Okay, Kenny,

what does fingerbang mean then?

00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,147

What?

Who the hell would do that!

00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:39,024

Jesus Christ, grow up, Kenny,

would you?

00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:40,526

Alright, boys,

let's do it from the top.

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One, two, three, four.

00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:46,615

Now, I know that this is

your first day on the job

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of mall security, rookie.

00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:51,662

Keeping the law in the mall

is just like any tough city,

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and especially because

they don't let us have guns,

00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:56,166

it can be very dangerous.

00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:57,960

Alright, guys,

just do it like we rehearsed.

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We need energy.

We need to be up.

00:06:59,670 --> 00:07:01,922

Excuse me, just where

do you think you're going?

00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:03,257

We're going to see

the mall manager.

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Do you have

the proper clearance?

00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:06,510

Uh-oh, mall cops.

00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:08,554

You have to make

an appointment first.

00:07:08,679 --> 00:07:10,305

Now move along, sir.

00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:11,765

But we practiced for days!

00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:13,851

All we want to do

is show the guy what we can do,

00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:15,436

so that maybe we'll have

a chance to perform

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in the plaza of the--

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ah, ah, ah!

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Ah, oh,

Goddamn it!

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Jesus Christ, dude!

00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:22,609

Oh, God,

I can't see!

00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:26,697

Move along, sir,

or I'll do it again.

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You see, you put your life

on the line every day.

00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:31,618

Well, I guess we can't get in

to see the mall manager.

00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,537

The hell we can't!

00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:35,080

I'm not letting

no washed-up mall cops

00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:36,915

ruin my divine quest.

Come on!

00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:45,757

Hey!

00:07:45,883 --> 00:07:47,676

What are you doing?

00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,846

Nothing, just shopping.

00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:53,307

Move along, sir.

00:07:53,432 --> 00:07:55,476

You see, sometimes

you gotta just do that.

00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:58,854

Keep shoppers on their toes.

Try it.

00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,189

Hey!

00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:01,732

What are you doin'?

00:08:01,857 --> 00:08:03,650

Nothing, why?

00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:06,069

Move along, ma'am.

00:08:06,195 --> 00:08:08,655

That's what being

a mall cop is all about, yeah.

00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,240

Cool.

00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:12,242

Attention, mall shoppers,

00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:13,869

the next 20 people

to buy an orange smoothie

00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,079

will also receive

a complimentary Nissan Sentra.

00:08:16,205 --> 00:08:17,080

Hurry up.

00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:21,168

Jesus, they're gonna start

a riot!

00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:22,669

Alright, guys,

here we go.

00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:24,213

Hello, sir!

- What?

00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:25,672

Hey, who are you?

00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:27,132

We are Fingerbang.

00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:29,426

Oh, what?

00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:31,303

How'd you get in here?

Hey!

00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:32,804

We would like

to audition for you

00:08:32,930 --> 00:08:34,473

for a gig in the central plaza

of your fine mall.

00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:36,183

What?

Oh.

00:08:36,308 --> 00:08:37,309

You want to play at the mall?

00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:38,894

Like Tiffany?

00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,896

Sort of like Tiffany, yes.

Can we audition?

00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,899

Oh, well, I guess.

What?

00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:47,986

Alright,

let's do it boys!

00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:51,615

♪ Gonna fingerbang bang

you into my life ♪

00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:55,118

♪ Girl, you like to fingerbang

and that's alright ♪

00:08:55,244 --> 00:08:59,540

♪ Gonna fingerbang bang

you every night ♪

00:08:59,665 --> 00:09:01,917

♪ And, girl, you know,

you, girl, you, girl ♪

00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,585

♪ You're the girl

of my dreams ♪

00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,546

♪ You, girl, you, girl,

you're the girl of my dreams ♪

00:09:05,671 --> 00:09:06,964

Okay, that's enough!

00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:08,215

♪ You're my fantasy,

my fantasy- ♪

00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:09,299

Thank you!

So can we play here?

00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:10,592

What?

No.

00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:11,802

No?

- Who?

00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:13,136

No.

- Why not?

00:09:13,262 --> 00:09:15,180

Well, uh, uh, oh...

00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:18,058

Right now there's a cheese

and sausage cart in the plaza,

00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:20,435

and I would--I'd hate

to have to move it

00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,020

off to the side for a while.

00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:23,480

What?

00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:24,773

You don't think

we're any good, do you?

00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,316

No, I mean,

just not quite as good

00:09:26,441 --> 00:09:27,859

as sausage and cheese.

00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:30,904

Well, come on, guys.

We gave it our best.

00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:34,491

Wow, that was your best?

00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:36,076

Wow, I feel so rejected.

00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:37,619

Yeah.

There you are!

00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,246

You're the hoodlums

who got on the intercom

00:09:39,371 --> 00:09:40,998

and started

an orange smoothie riot!

00:09:41,123 --> 00:09:42,332

Uh-oh.

00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:43,792

I will now read you

your mall rights.

00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:46,128

You have the right to shop

at a variety of malls--

00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,129

Run for it!

00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,213

Go get 'em, rookie!

00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,844

Where is Stan?

00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:56,054

Oh, he's over at Eric's house

practicing for his boy band.

00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:57,806

What, I specifically

told him not to do that!

00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:00,142

Now, Randy, calm down.

It's just a silly little dream.

00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:01,685

They're not gonna

actually make it.

00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:03,103

And what if

they do make it, Sharon?

00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:04,438

What if they do make it?

00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:06,064

Are you going to be

the one to tell him?

00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:08,317

Mom, what's up Dad's ass?

00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:09,651

It's a long story, Shelly.

00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:11,236

Let's just say your father...

00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:12,654

Has a lot up his ass

right now.

00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:16,408

Oh, oh, hello, Eric.

00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:18,952

Problem, Chef.

I have many problems.

00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:21,997

Well, if you, uh, come back

in just a little bit, Eric,

00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,498

I'll see if I can

help you out.

00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:25,042

Just don't know

what I'm going to do.

00:10:25,167 --> 00:10:27,002

Sometimes I just wonder if God

is just toying with me.

00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,004

Alright, Eric,

what's the matter?

00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,505

Chef, God told me

I was to start a boy band

00:10:30,631 --> 00:10:31,798

and make $10 million.

00:10:31,923 --> 00:10:33,008

The problem is

it isn't working.

00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:36,094

I mean, I feel the music

burning inside me,

00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:37,804

but I just can't

express it right, you know?

00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:39,348

Well, Eric,

I think you're just

00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:40,891

focusing in

on the wrong thing.

00:10:41,016 --> 00:10:42,809

Boy bands

aren't about music.

00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:46,021

Boy bands are created

by corporations to make money,

00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,648

they're all based on

the Garmlich effect.

00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:49,066

What's

the Garmlich effect?

00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:50,525

The law of physics

that states

00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:52,194

if one girl screams

for something,

00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:53,654

it will make

other girls scream

00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:55,947

and then it grows

exponentiously

00:10:56,073 --> 00:10:58,742

until all girls within a

five-mile radius are screaming.

00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:00,285

So how do

boy bands use that?

00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:02,871

All they do is make videos

showing tons and tons

00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,873

of girls screaming

for the boy bands.

00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:07,501

Once you get girls screaming,

you can't stop 'em.

00:11:07,626 --> 00:11:08,835

They're crazy.

00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,212

Except for Lillith,

of course.

00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:11,588

Thanks.

- You're welcome.

00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:13,965

Now go away.

- Okay!

00:11:14,091 --> 00:11:16,301

And a cucumber in the pants

never hurt either.

00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:19,429

Cucumber in the pants.

Got it!

00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:20,806

Alright everybody, listen up.

00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:22,307

This is how this first shot

is gonna work.

00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:23,850

The girls are standing here,

00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:25,769

and then the members of the band

walk by looking cool.

00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:27,354

When you see us,

you girls all scream like,

00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:28,939

"Oh, my God, it's Fingerbang!

Oh, my God!"

00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:30,273

Okay?

00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:31,692

Are we going to get paid

now or after?

00:11:31,817 --> 00:11:32,984

I'll pay you afterwards,

promise.

00:11:33,110 --> 00:11:34,486

Okay, Timmy, roll camera!

- Timmy!

00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:35,987

Dude, what's wrong

with your leg?

00:11:36,113 --> 00:11:37,614

Huh, oh Chef said to put

a cucumber down my pants

00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:39,282

for good luck.

00:11:39,408 --> 00:11:41,201

Ya!

Whoo-whoo!

00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:43,120

Wait, wait, wait, wait, cut!

- Ha-ha!

00:11:43,245 --> 00:11:44,579

You have to go crazier

than that.

00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:45,956

I mean, you have to act

like it's freakin'

00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:47,124

Leonardo DiCaprio.

00:11:47,249 --> 00:11:48,458

We wouldn't give a rat's ass

00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:49,876

if Leonardo DiCaprio

came walking passed us.

00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:51,128

Yeah!

00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:52,587

Fine, who would you

go crazy for?

00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:55,132

Matt Lauer.

00:11:55,257 --> 00:11:56,842

Okay, fine.

Pretend that we're Matt Lauer.

00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,427

Oh, okay!

- Okay, roll camera.

00:11:58,552 --> 00:12:00,762

Timmy!

00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,142

Jesus Christ!

00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:07,602

♪ Fingerbang bang you

every night ♪

00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:08,937

And cut!

00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,772

Alright, our video's complete.

- Timmy!

00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,441

With the grace of God,

I can now go back

00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:14,067

to that mall manager

and show him what we've got!

00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:15,193

Okay, so where's our money?

00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:16,862

Oh, uh, Kyle has it.

00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:18,780

Stanley, what the hell

are you doing?

00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:19,865

We are making a music video.

00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:21,700

You get in the truck

right now!

00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:24,453

Dad I was just--

- Get in the truck!

00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:25,537

Dad, I did all my chores.

00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:27,205

Why can't I play

with my friends?

00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:28,832

Stanley, it's just that

there's better things

00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:31,042

you can be doing on a Saturday

than singing and dancing.

00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:33,336

You could be watching TV

or laying in bed.

00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:34,713

Dad, I like being

in a boy band.

00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:36,506

I think it's interesting.

00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:38,633

Well, there's plenty of other

interesting things you can do.

00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:39,926

Have you ever tried marijuana?

- No!

00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:41,803

Well, maybe it's time.

- Dad!

00:12:44,306 --> 00:12:45,515

Hey!

00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:46,850

What are you doing?

00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,602

I've got a new strain

of anthrax

00:12:48,727 --> 00:12:51,646

that I will see unleash

upon all of North America.

00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:54,024

Move along, sir.

- Huh?

00:12:54,149 --> 00:12:55,942

Attention, shoppers,

00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,903

there are naked people

at the orange smoothie machine.

00:12:58,028 --> 00:12:59,362

There are naked people

at the orange--

00:12:59,488 --> 00:13:00,947

Goddamn it!

00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:01,948

Hello again.

00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:03,450

What?

Oh, it's you.

00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:05,076

I don't like you.

00:13:05,202 --> 00:13:06,244

I know you didn't

love our audition,

00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:07,412

but now we have a video.

00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:08,830

Oh.

What?

00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,332

If you would, sir,

just watch this

00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,083

and prepare to be wowed.

00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,632

Timmy!

00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,010

Oh, Goddamn it.

00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,303

Our camera guy kinda sucks,

00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:27,057

but this next shot we did

was really cool.

00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:30,060

Ah!

00:13:30,185 --> 00:13:31,728

Timmy!

Livin' a lie!

00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:32,896

Son of a bitch!

00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,981

Hey, this video's dumb.

00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:36,191

You don't understand.

00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,692

Girls were going

crazy for us, please!

00:13:37,818 --> 00:13:39,820

This is what God

wants me to do, please!

00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:41,780

Alright, alright.

- What?

00:13:41,905 --> 00:13:44,115

Well, I guess I can move

the sausage and cheese cart

00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:46,493

off to one side

for a little while.

00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:47,661

Really, you will?

00:13:47,786 --> 00:13:48,912

Only for 20 minutes, though.

00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:49,955

That's all we need.

00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,331

How about this afternoon

at 3:00?

00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:53,416

Oh, okay.

00:13:53,542 --> 00:13:55,877

Yes, thank you, sir.

You will not be disappointed.

00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:59,005

Oh, Mrs. Cartman,

I've been very bad, okay.

00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:00,882

You have been bad,

Mr. Mackey,

00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,051

so you're going to

have to drink from this glass.

00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,095

Oh, yeah,

that makes me hot.

00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:06,888

Oh, Mom!

- Wow! What?

00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:14,437

It's not fair, dad.

Why can't I be in a boy band?

00:14:14,563 --> 00:14:16,189

Because I said so!

00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:18,316

Dad, Cartman said we're going

to perform in the mall at 3:00.

00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:20,110

My friends are going to be

pissed off at me.

00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:22,028

Let 'em be pissed off then.

I don't understand.

00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:23,697

Just let me let me go do

this one thing and I won't--

00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:25,073

No!

No!

00:14:32,122 --> 00:14:35,083

Dad, what the hell

is going on?

00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,668

I was...

00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,753

I was 18 when

my high school men's choir

00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:40,046

performed

at the grand opening

00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:41,923

of a sporting goods store

in Denver.

00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:45,176

♪ Everything will wait ♪

00:14:45,302 --> 00:14:48,471

♪ Weep all ye little rains... ♪

00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:51,141

I was just one of 15 members

and I had no idea

00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:52,559

that a record producer

was in the audience.

00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:55,478

♪ Colorado trail ♪

00:14:58,189 --> 00:14:59,316

Kid, can I talk to you?

- Sure.

00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:00,984

You were really great

up there.

00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:03,153

Too good for a pissant choir

in a pissant mountain town.

00:15:03,278 --> 00:15:04,654

Oh, thanks.

00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:06,281

Listen, I'm putting together

a rock group,

00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,241

a vocal group called

the Ghetto Avenue Boys.

00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:10,327

I think you would make

a perfect member.

00:15:10,452 --> 00:15:12,287

What, me?

You like my singing that much?

00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,623

Yeah, I think

your mustache is perfect.

00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:15,957

How would you like

to come to New York

00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,208

and start

a singing career?

00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,877

Oh my God,

I don't know.

00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:20,879

I mean, I still have another

year of high school and I--

00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:22,923

hey, look, if you don't

want it, I'll keep looking.

00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:24,424

No, wait.

I mean... I'll think about it.

00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:27,218

I take it that means yes.

Call me in the morning.

00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:28,970

And just like that,

I left everything.

00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,305

I dropped out of high school.

00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,681

See ya!

00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:32,724

I said good-bye

to my girlfriend.

00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:33,725

See ya!

00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,101

And I left my family.

00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:36,895

See ya!

00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:38,480

And suddenly there I was,

00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,190

thrown into a group

with four other young men

00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:41,316

who I didn't even know.

00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,026

Take 112.

00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:44,778

♪ You've got it ♪

00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:47,072

♪ You know you've got it ♪

♪ Girl ♪

00:15:47,197 --> 00:15:48,239

♪ What you've got is it ♪

00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:49,616

The songs were terrible,

00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:51,284

but believe it or not

the country ate them up.

00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:52,619

The next thing I knew,

00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:54,621

we were the biggest thing

in the world.

00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:56,206

♪ What you've got is it ♪

00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:58,500

♪ Now, give it to me 'cause ♪

00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,043

I had everything,

a huge house

00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:02,295

and all the women

you can imagine.

00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:04,547

And then one day,

just as quick as it started...

00:16:04,673 --> 00:16:06,341

Alright, guys,

let's take it from the top.

00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:07,384

Hey, Mr. Allens.

00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:08,385

Hey, oh...

00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:09,761

Uh, Randy.

00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:11,721

Who are they?

00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:13,473

These are

the Avenue Ghetto Street Boys.

00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:15,517

My new boy band.

00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:17,727

But, we're still

selling records right?

00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:20,271

Look, kid, you're just

getting a little old

00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:21,564

to be in a boy band.

00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:23,608

I'm 19.

- Get a life, Marsh!

00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:25,485

Alright, guys,

let's take it from the top.

00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:27,320

They said that after

all the money we had made

00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:28,655

we were in debt

to the studio.

00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:29,948

So they towed my car.

00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:30,949

See ya!

00:16:31,074 --> 00:16:31,950

The women all left.

00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:32,951

See ya!

00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:34,160

And they took back my house.

00:16:34,285 --> 00:16:35,787

See ya!

00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,622

The only thing I could do

was come back to Colorado

00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:39,874

and face everyone

that I had abandoned.

00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,419

Hey, weren't you the guy

in that stupid boy band,

00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:43,628

the Ghetto Avenue Boys?

00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:45,296

Sure, I remember you.

00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:47,257

♪ You got it, baby ♪

00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:48,717

♪ You got it going on ♪

00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:53,138

And so, you see, Stanley,

00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:55,807

I do know

what I'm talking about.

00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:58,476

Jesus Christ.

I never knew.

00:16:58,601 --> 00:17:01,563

I didn't want you to know,

because now I'm a joke.

00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:04,691

Ever since then,

I have wished every single day

00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:06,401

that I could go back

to that moment

00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,611

when I was offered the job

and say, "no."

00:17:08,737 --> 00:17:10,238

Because all the fame,

the money, the women,

00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,198

all it did

was build me up,

00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:13,241

so that I could be

knocked down

00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,827

harder than anybody

in the world.

00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:18,705

That's what being in a boy band

is all about, Stanley.

00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:20,915

It's people smothering you

and embracing you and loving you

00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:22,709

and then spitting you out

and throwing you away

00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:24,127

like you were

last night's pork chops.

00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:26,212

Now, we wander the Earth

in disarray,

00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:28,131

us, New Kids on the block,

the Osmonds,

00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:29,966

we're all the same.

00:17:30,091 --> 00:17:33,053

And that is why

you can't go to the mall.

00:17:36,514 --> 00:17:38,016

Okay.

00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:42,937

Wow, there must be at least

20 people out there.

00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:44,355

Where the hell is Stan?

00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:45,857

He'll be here.

Stan wouldn't douche.

00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:47,609

I swear to God,

if he ruins this dream of mine,

00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,069

I will have his nuts!

00:17:49,194 --> 00:17:51,321

Hey, uh, are you gonna

do that thing or what?

00:17:51,446 --> 00:17:52,739

Yes, yes, sir.

Any second.

00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:54,532

We're just waiting

on one more member.

00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:56,576

Well, hurry up, I can't keep

the sausage and cheese cart

00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:58,161

off this spot much longer.

00:17:58,286 --> 00:17:59,662

Yeah, we'll start

right away.

00:17:59,788 --> 00:18:01,414

We'll have to do it

without him.

00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:03,083

Hell no, I'm not being part

of a four member boy band!

00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:04,167

We'll look stupid.

- Yeah!

00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:06,544

Oh, Goddamn it!

00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:15,970

Dad?

- Huh, yeah?

00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:18,014

Well, I just wanted

to tell you

00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:19,307

that I don't think

you're a joke.

00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:20,683

I mean,

whatever you used to be,

00:18:20,809 --> 00:18:22,143

you're just my dad

00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:25,855

and you're the best dad

I've ever had.

00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:27,649

Come here, Stanley.

00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,609

Stan, it was wrong of me

to try and stop you

00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:31,653

from joining a boy band

without explaining why.

00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,655

I made some mistakes

in my life,

00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:36,116

and now I have to let

you make your own mistakes.

00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:37,867

Yeah.

00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:39,410

You know, in a way,

I think I was even jealous

00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:40,662

of you being in a boy band.

00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:42,455

Isn't that stupid?

- Not really.

00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:44,332

Not any more stupid than some

of the other stuff you've done.

00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,126

Well, come on.

I'll drive you down to the mall.

00:18:46,251 --> 00:18:47,377

Really?

- Yeah.

00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:48,753

I want to see

what you guys can do.

00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:49,879

And then we'll go buy you

a small toy,

00:18:50,004 --> 00:18:51,297

so you can

forget all about this.

00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:52,674

Alright!

00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:55,969

What's happening here?

00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:57,303

I don't know.

I guess nothing.

00:18:57,428 --> 00:18:59,639

Hmm, well,

let's walk away then.

00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:01,057

Goddamn it!

People are walking away!

00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:02,976

Alright, kids,

that does it.

00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:04,394

You're gonna have to

move and make way

00:19:04,519 --> 00:19:05,687

for the sausage and cheese cart.

00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:06,688

Just another minute.

00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:10,191

Sorry, get out.

00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:12,443

Well, God, I guess you

got me again didn't you.

00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:14,028

Yeah, that was

a good one, God.

00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:15,947

Hope it made you laugh,

you sick bastard.

00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:18,074

What's that?

00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:19,450

It's Stan!

00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:21,411

Oh, thank you, God!

Oh, praise his name!

00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:22,996

Dude, where the hell

have you been?

00:19:23,121 --> 00:19:24,455

Sir, we're all here now.

Can we go on, please?

00:19:24,581 --> 00:19:25,915

Who?

00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,417

Well, okay, I guess,

but hurry up.

00:19:27,542 --> 00:19:29,043

We will.

00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:30,837

Ladies and gentlemen,

you are about to witness

00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:32,755

the next great boy band

of the country.

00:19:32,881 --> 00:19:35,091

Some day you will all

be among those who can say,

00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:36,801

"I saw Fingerbang

when they first performed

00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:39,053

at some crappy little mall."

00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:40,555

And so without further ado

00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,850

all five members of the--

00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:45,435

oh, my God,

they killed Kenny!

00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:46,769

You bastards!

00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:48,563

No, he can't be dead.

00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,064

Dude, he's pretty dead.

00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:52,066

No, we were so close!

00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:54,027

Alright, that's it, kids.

Get out!

00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:55,361

But, we have to perform.

00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:57,030

We don't have

a fifth member, Cartman.

00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:59,073

Oh, yes, we do.

00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:00,533

Thank you

all for your patience

00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:02,493

and get ready for Fingerbang!

00:20:02,619 --> 00:20:04,245

♪ Fingerbang ♪

00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:05,622

♪ Bang bang ♪

00:20:05,747 --> 00:20:07,498

♪ Fingerbang bang ♪

00:20:07,624 --> 00:20:09,292

♪ Bang bang bang ♪

00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:12,503

♪ I'm gonna fingerbang bang you

into my life ♪

00:20:12,629 --> 00:20:15,840

♪ Girl, you like to fingerbang

and it's alright ♪

00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:17,634

♪ Because I'm

the king of fingerbang ♪

00:20:17,759 --> 00:20:19,135

♪ Let's not fight ♪

00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:23,097

♪ I'll just fingerbang bang you

every night ♪

00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:26,100

♪ I'll just fingerbang bang you

every night ♪

00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:27,143

Cha!

00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:32,899

Yes, yes!

Thank you, yes!

00:20:35,944 --> 00:20:37,320

We made $2.

00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:38,696

You were great, Dad.

00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:40,240

Yeah, I guess I still

got it in me a little.

00:20:40,365 --> 00:20:41,783

Can I get

your autograph?

00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:43,284

Okay, okay.

00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,328

Hey, don't hassle

the talent, ma'am.

00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:47,205

I actually don't really

know who they are.

00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:48,373

I was just getting

an autograph--

00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:50,208

Ah!

00:20:50,333 --> 00:20:51,668

Move along, ma'am.

00:20:51,793 --> 00:20:53,294

That was pretty good, kids.

00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:56,297

Maybe you can come perform

at my Elk's Club sometime.

00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:58,132

Okay, yeah, maybe.

00:20:58,258 --> 00:21:00,176

God, now it's like everybody

wants a piece of us.

00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:01,928

Yeah.

00:21:02,053 --> 00:21:03,346

I don't know if I can handle

all this fame.

00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:05,473

I mean, I always thought

I'd want to be famous,

00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:08,184

but now that I am,

I don't know if I like it.

00:21:08,309 --> 00:21:09,936

I mean, I probably can't

even walk through this mall

00:21:10,061 --> 00:21:11,229

right now without people going

00:21:11,354 --> 00:21:12,522

"oh, my God,

it's the Fingerbang guy!

00:21:12,647 --> 00:21:13,773

Oh, my God!"

00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:15,233

Yeah, that's gonna suck.

00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:17,068

Yeah, I just want to be

a normal kid again,

00:21:17,193 --> 00:21:19,112

have a normal life,

and appreciate what I have.

00:21:19,237 --> 00:21:21,823

I think you boys are

very smart for your age.

00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:23,908

Come on, I'll buy you all

an orange smoothie.

00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:25,368

I don't think

they sell those anymore.

00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:27,537

Hey, Cartman, do you think

God is going to be mad at you

00:21:27,662 --> 00:21:28,830

for not making $10 million?

00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:29,998

Oh, screw God.

I'm not scared of him.

00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:32,000

He's a pussy.

00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:33,251

You know I'm just kidding,

right?

00:00:10,011 --> 00:00:11,846

♪ Gonna have myself

a time ♪

00:00:11,971 --> 00:00:13,681

♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:15,141

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,266 --> 00:00:16,475

♪ I'm going down

to South Park ♪

00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,519

♪ Gonna leave

my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:20,229

♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,897

♪ People spouting

"howdy neighbor" ♪

00:00:22,023 --> 00:00:23,232

♪ Headin' on up

to South Park ♪

00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:24,984

♪ Gonna see

if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,109 --> 00:00:28,362

♪ [muffled] ♪

00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:29,780

♪ Come on down

to South Park ♪

00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:31,907

♪ And meet

some friends of mine ♪

00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:34,368

Tonight Stellar Productions

presents

00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:36,912

the boy band

of the decade

00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:40,708

it's Fingerbang live

from Madison Square Gardens!

00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:43,461

[crowd cheering]

00:00:48,174 --> 00:00:49,759

[all]

♪ Fingerbang ♪

00:00:49,884 --> 00:00:51,177

♪ Bang, bang ♪

00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:52,928

♪ Fingerbang bang, bang ♪

00:00:53,054 --> 00:00:54,430

♪ Bang, bang, bang ♪

00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:58,017

♪ I'm going fingerbang

bang you into my life ♪

00:00:58,142 --> 00:01:01,562

♪ Girl you like to fingerbang

and it's alright ♪

00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:04,607

♪ Because I'm the king of

fingerbang let's not fight ♪

00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:09,445

♪ I'm gonna fingerbang

bang you every night ♪

00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:13,365

♪ And girl you know that

you're the only girl for me ♪

00:01:13,491 --> 00:01:16,786

♪ Girl, girl you're the girl

of my fantasies ♪

00:01:16,911 --> 00:01:18,370

Cartman, I want you!

00:01:18,496 --> 00:01:22,124

♪ You're my girl ♪

00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:23,793

All: ♪ Fingerbang bang ♪

00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:25,961

♪ Bang, bang, bang ♪

00:01:26,087 --> 00:01:27,963

♪ Fingerbang bang ♪

00:01:28,089 --> 00:01:29,215

♪ Bang, bang, bang ♪

00:01:29,340 --> 00:01:31,008

♪ I'm gonna

fingerbang bang ♪

00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:34,845

Yes, yes, yes,

I'm a star.

00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:35,888

I'm a star!

00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,681

I'm--

00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:40,768

Oh, I'm nobody,

goddamn it!

00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:43,521

Wait a minute,

maybe that was a sign from God.

00:01:43,646 --> 00:01:44,730

That's it, isn't it.

00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:46,023

You want me

to start a boy band,

00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:47,608

so I can make

$10 million, don't you?

00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:50,528

That's it!

00:01:50,653 --> 00:01:52,446

Gentlemen,

thank you for coming.

00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:54,490

This is the beginning

of a great time in our lives.

00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:56,826

God has finally

spoken to me, guys,

00:01:56,951 --> 00:01:59,912

and he has told me

how I can make $10 million.

00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:01,330

How?

- Boy band.

00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:02,832

Boy band?

- Boy band.

00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:04,625

I'm not being

in a faggy boy band.

00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:06,794

There's nothing faggy about

$10 million, asshole!

00:02:06,919 --> 00:02:08,254

This was a message from God!

00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:10,005

Dude, we don't have

any musical talent.

00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:12,049

That didn't stop any of

the other boy bands, dumbass!

00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:14,260

I've got prerecorded music we

can sing to, just like they do.

00:02:14,385 --> 00:02:16,011

All we need to do

is practice our choreography

00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:17,596

over and over and over.

00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:18,889

[muffled]

00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:20,599

Shut up, Kenny.

00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,518

And then I know I can get us

a gig at the South Park Mall.

00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,145

So everybody

get in a straight line,

00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:25,813

we're going to listen to

the song from the top and--

00:02:25,938 --> 00:02:27,523

Wait a minute,

there's only four of us.

00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:28,524

So?

- So all boy bands

00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,109

have five members.

- What?

00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:31,610

N'sync, Backstreet Boys,

New Kids on the Block,

00:02:31,735 --> 00:02:32,695

all had five members.

00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:33,654

He's right.

- Damn it!

00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:34,864

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:36,157

We'll put off songs for now

00:02:36,282 --> 00:02:37,783

and hold auditions

for a fifth member.

00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:41,162

Get the word out that auditions

will be tomorrow morning.

00:02:41,287 --> 00:02:43,622

Did you have fun

at Eric's house today, Stanley?

00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:45,332

I guess.

- What did you do?

00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:46,917

Well, Cartman wants

to start a boy band,

00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,836

so we're going to rehearse

and then try to perform

00:02:48,961 --> 00:02:49,837

at the South Park Mall.

00:02:49,962 --> 00:02:50,838

Oh, that sounds nice.

00:02:50,963 --> 00:02:52,506

No, it does not sound nice.

00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:54,508

Stanley, you are going to have

no part of that boy band.

00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:56,218

Well, but, Dad,

all my friends are doing it.

00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:57,678

If all your friends

jumped off a cliff,

00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,013

would you do that too?

00:02:59,138 --> 00:03:00,514

Cartman says we can

make $10 million.

00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:02,266

You are not going to be

in a boy band, Stanley,

00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:04,852

and that is final!

00:03:04,977 --> 00:03:07,563

Geez, what's up Dad's ass?

00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:11,567

♪ Little bunny foo-foo

hopping through the forest ♪

00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,527

♪ Scoopin' up the field mice

and bopping 'em on the head ♪

00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:15,821

Down came the white angel

and she said,

00:03:15,946 --> 00:03:17,698

♪ Little bunny foo-foo

I don't want to see you ♪

00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:19,950

♪ Scoopin' up the field mice

and bopping 'em on the head ♪

00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:21,994

♪ So now I'm going to

turn you into a worm, ♪

00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:24,163

♪ bu-bunny foo-foo,

poof! ♪

00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:26,248

♪ Little wormy foo-foo

crawling through the forest ♪

00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:27,666

♪ Gettin' scooped up

by the field mice ♪

00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:30,169

♪ And g-gonna

bop him on the head ♪

00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:31,879

Ah, thank you, Butters.

We'll let you know.

00:03:32,004 --> 00:03:32,963

I can do it again.

00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:34,089

We'll let you know, Butters.

00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:34,840

Well, alright then.

00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:38,510

Pff, oh my God,

his intonation was so off!

00:03:38,844 --> 00:03:39,595

It was?

00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,472

Dude, I don't think I can sing

any better than that.

00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:43,349

Guys, if we're going to

impress the mall owner

00:03:43,474 --> 00:03:44,934

and get that gig, we better

do it better than that.

00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:46,518

Next!

00:03:46,644 --> 00:03:48,145

Ah, next is Ike Brovlofsky.

Kyle's brother?

00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:49,563

I promised my mom

I'd let him try.

00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:50,981

Christ sake.

What key?

00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:53,609

"G".

00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:57,905

♪ Itsy-bitsy spider

up the water spout ♪

00:03:58,030 --> 00:03:59,865

Next!

00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:03,577

♪ Oh, Danny boy,

the pipes are calling ♪

00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:05,704

♪ Clang, clangy, clang ♪

00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,498

Next audition!

00:04:07,623 --> 00:04:12,419

♪ E-f-g-h-l-j-k-l-m-n-p ♪

00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:13,796

Goddamn it, next!

00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:19,885

♪ G-u-b, when the teacher

wanna punch me ♪

00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:22,263

Not the next song,

the next person!

00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:31,397

Oh, man, this is gonna be

a long-ass day.

00:04:31,522 --> 00:04:32,898

Oh, no!

No, no, no, no!

00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:35,276

Sorry, Wendy, this is

try-outs for a boy band.

00:04:35,401 --> 00:04:36,652

Oh, come on, dude.

Let her try.

00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:37,736

No way!

- Come on, Cartman.

00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:39,113

You haven't

liked anybody else.

00:04:39,238 --> 00:04:40,114

Okay, okay, fine.

00:04:40,239 --> 00:04:42,658

Wow me!

00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:46,954

♪ Mrs. Landers was a health

nut, she cooked food in a wok ♪

00:04:47,079 --> 00:04:49,206

♪ Mr. Harris was her boyfriend

and he had a great big ♪

00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:51,750

♪ Cock-a-doodle-doodle,

the rooster just won't quit ♪

00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:54,086

♪ And I don't want my breakfast

because it taste like ♪

00:04:54,211 --> 00:04:56,588

♪ Shih tzus make good house pets

they're cuddly and sweet ♪

00:04:56,714 --> 00:04:59,049

♪ Monkeys aren't good to have

'cause they like to beat their ♪

00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:01,468

♪ Meeting in the office

a meeting in the hall ♪

00:05:01,593 --> 00:05:03,846

♪ The boss he wants to see you

so you can suck his ♪

00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:06,682

♪ Balzac was a writer,

he lived with Allen Funt ♪

00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,767

♪ Mrs. Roberts didn't like him

but that's because she's a ♪

00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:11,687

♪ Contaminated water

can really make you sick ♪

00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,939

♪ Your bladder gets infected

and blood comes out your ♪

00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:16,525

♪ Dictate what I'm saying

'cause it will bring you luck ♪

00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:19,403

♪ And if you all don't like it

I don't give a flying fuck ♪

00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:21,447

[clapping]

00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:24,033

Thanks, Wendy, don't call us.

We won't call you either.

00:05:24,158 --> 00:05:25,284

Dude, what are you

talking about?

00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:26,535

That was awesome!

00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:27,870

Dude, she's a chick!

00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:28,996

Come on,

nobody's going to notice.

00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:30,456

Nobody's gonna notice?

00:05:30,581 --> 00:05:32,166

What about her huge

freakin' hooters, huh?

00:05:32,291 --> 00:05:33,667

She's the best chance we have.

I say she's in.

00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:34,960

Me too.

- Me too.

00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:36,670

Oh, this is a democratic

boy band, is it?

00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:38,172

Alright, fine.

She's in until she screws up.

00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:39,423

Yeah!

00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:40,758

[rooster crowing]

00:05:40,883 --> 00:05:42,343

Okay, you guys all ready

to rehearse?

00:05:42,468 --> 00:05:43,886

Cartman,

it's 6:00 in the morning.

00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,054

Do we have to rehearse

this early?

00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:46,597

We have to rehearse

all that we can.

00:05:46,722 --> 00:05:48,307

Now, check this out.

My mom made us costumes.

00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:49,308

Costumes?

00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:50,726

Yeah, this one's yours, Stan.

00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,019

This one is Kyle's.

00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:53,645

This one will cover-up

Wendy's hooters.

00:05:53,771 --> 00:05:55,439

Hey Cartman, how come

your costume has, like,

00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:56,940

nose-rings and facial hair?

00:05:57,066 --> 00:05:58,400

'Cause I'm, like,

you know, the tough one.

00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,277

Every boy band has to have

the one member that's,

00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:01,362

you know, is tough.

00:06:01,487 --> 00:06:02,363

I want to be

the tough one.

00:06:02,488 --> 00:06:04,573

Kyle, you are the sweet one.

00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,033

Will you please

just cooperate and not--

00:06:06,158 --> 00:06:07,743

I wanna be

the tough one.

00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,787

You can't be the tough one

because you're Jewish!

00:06:09,912 --> 00:06:11,246

Jews are tough!

- Since when?

00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:12,539

Since Abraham, fatass!

00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:14,875

Alright, fine, here.

00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,335

Jesus Christ,

I wonder if every boy band

00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:17,586

had to go through this.

00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:22,591

Hey Cartman, what does

fingerbang mean anyways?

00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,343

I heard it on HBO.

00:06:24,468 --> 00:06:26,553

It means like, you know, when

you pretend to use your finger

00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:27,304

like a gun or something.

00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:29,014

[muffled]

00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:30,349

Kenny says,

"that's not what it means."

00:06:30,474 --> 00:06:32,142

Okay, Kenny,

what does fingerbang mean then?

00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:34,937

[muffled]

00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,147

What?

Who the hell would do that!

00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:39,024

Jesus Christ, grow up, Kenny,

would you?

00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:40,526

Alright, boys,

let's do it from the top.

00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:44,321

One, two, three, four.

00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:46,615

Now, I know that this is

your first day on the job

00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,492

of mall security, rookie.

00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:51,662

Keeping the law in the mall

is just like any tough city,

00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:54,498

and especially because

they don't let us have guns,

00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:56,166

it can be very dangerous.

00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:57,960

Alright, guys,

just do it like we rehearsed.

00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,545

We need energy.

We need to be up.

00:06:59,670 --> 00:07:01,922

Excuse me, just where

do you think you're going?

00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:03,257

We're going to see

the mall manager.

00:07:03,382 --> 00:07:05,134

Do you have

the proper clearance?

00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:06,510

Uh-oh, mall cops.

00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:08,554

You have to make

an appointment first.

00:07:08,679 --> 00:07:10,305

Now move along, sir.

00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:11,765

But we practiced for days!

00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:13,851

All we want to do

is show the guy what we can do,

00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:15,436

so that maybe we'll have

a chance to perform

00:07:15,561 --> 00:07:16,645

in the plaza of the--

00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,480

ah, ah, ah!

00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:19,815

Ah, oh,

Goddamn it!

00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,024

Jesus Christ, dude!

00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:22,609

Oh, God,

I can't see!

00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:26,697

Move along, sir,

or I'll do it again.

00:07:26,822 --> 00:07:29,533

You see, you put your life

on the line every day.

00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:31,618

Well, I guess we can't get in

to see the mall manager.

00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,537

The hell we can't!

00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:35,080

I'm not letting

no washed-up mall cops

00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:36,915

ruin my divine quest.

Come on!

00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:45,757

Hey!

00:07:45,883 --> 00:07:47,676

What are you doing?

00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,846

Nothing, just shopping.

00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:53,307

Move along, sir.

00:07:53,432 --> 00:07:55,476

You see, sometimes

you gotta just do that.

00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:58,854

Keep shoppers on their toes.

Try it.

00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,189

Hey!

00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:01,732

What are you doin'?

00:08:01,857 --> 00:08:03,650

Nothing, why?

00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:06,069

Move along, ma'am.

00:08:06,195 --> 00:08:08,655

That's what being

a mall cop is all about, yeah.

00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,240

Cool.

00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:12,242

[Cartman over intercom]

Attention, mall shoppers,

00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:13,869

the next 20 people

to buy an orange smoothie

00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,079

will also receive

a complimentary Nissan Sentra.

00:08:16,205 --> 00:08:17,080

Hurry up.

00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:18,582

[shouting]

00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:21,168

Jesus, they're gonna start

a riot!

00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:22,669

Alright, guys,

here we go.

00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:24,213

Hello, sir!

- What?

00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:25,672

Hey, who are you?

00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:27,132

We are Fingerbang.

00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:29,426

Oh, what?

00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:31,303

How'd you get in here?

Hey!

00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:32,804

We would like

to audition for you

00:08:32,930 --> 00:08:34,473

for a gig in the central plaza

of your fine mall.

00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:36,183

What?

Oh.

00:08:36,308 --> 00:08:37,309

You want to play at the mall?

00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:38,894

Like Tiffany?

00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,896

Sort of like Tiffany, yes.

Can we audition?

00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,899

Oh, well, I guess.

What?

00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:47,986

Alright,

let's do it boys!

00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:51,615

All: ♪ Gonna fingerbang bang

you into my life ♪

00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:55,118

♪ Girl, you like to fingerbang

and that's alright ♪

00:08:55,244 --> 00:08:59,540

♪ Gonna fingerbang bang

you every night ♪

00:08:59,665 --> 00:09:01,917

♪ And, girl, you know,

you, girl, you, girl ♪

00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,585

♪ You're the girl

of my dreams ♪

00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,546

♪ You, girl, you, girl,

you're the girl of my dreams ♪

00:09:05,671 --> 00:09:06,964

Okay, that's enough!

00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:08,215

♪ You're my fantasy,

my fantasy- ♪

00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:09,299

Thank you!

So can we play here?

00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:10,592

What?

No.

00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:11,802

No?

- Who?

00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:13,136

No.

- Why not?

00:09:13,262 --> 00:09:15,180

Well, uh, uh, oh...

00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:18,058

Right now there's a cheese

and sausage cart in the plaza,

00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:20,435

and I would--I'd hate

to have to move it

00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,020

off to the side for a while.

00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:23,480

What?

00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:24,773

You don't think

we're any good, do you?

00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,316

No, I mean,

just not quite as good

00:09:26,441 --> 00:09:27,859

as sausage and cheese.

00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:30,904

Well, come on, guys.

We gave it our best.

00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:34,491

Wow, that was your best?

00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:36,076

Wow, I feel so rejected.

00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:37,619

Yeah.

There you are!

00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,246

You're the hoodlums

who got on the intercom

00:09:39,371 --> 00:09:40,998

and started

an orange smoothie riot!

00:09:41,123 --> 00:09:42,332

Uh-oh.

00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:43,792

I will now read you

your mall rights.

00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:46,128

You have the right to shop

at a variety of malls--

00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,129

Run for it!

00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,213

Go get 'em, rookie!

00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,844

Where is Stan?

00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:56,054

Oh, he's over at Eric's house

practicing for his boy band.

00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:57,806

What, I specifically

told him not to do that!

00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:00,142

Now, Randy, calm down.

It's just a silly little dream.

00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:01,685

They're not gonna

actually make it.

00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:03,103

And what if

they do make it, Sharon?

00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:04,438

What if they do make it?

00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:06,064

Are you going to be

the one to tell him?

00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:08,317

Mom, what's up Dad's ass?

00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:09,651

It's a long story, Shelly.

00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:11,236

Let's just say your father...

00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:12,654

Has a lot up his ass

right now.

00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,489

[doorbell rings]

00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:16,408

Oh, oh, hello, Eric.

00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:18,952

Problem, Chef.

I have many problems.

00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:21,997

Well, if you, uh, come back

in just a little bit, Eric,

00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,498

I'll see if I can

help you out.

00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:25,042

Just don't know

what I'm going to do.

00:10:25,167 --> 00:10:27,002

Sometimes I just wonder if God

is just toying with me.

00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,004

Alright, Eric,

what's the matter?

00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,505

Chef, God told me

I was to start a boy band

00:10:30,631 --> 00:10:31,798

and make $10 million.

00:10:31,923 --> 00:10:33,008

The problem is

it isn't working.

00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:36,094

I mean, I feel the music

burning inside me,

00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:37,804

but I just can't

express it right, you know?

00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:39,348

Well, Eric,

I think you're just

00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:40,891

focusing in

on the wrong thing.

00:10:41,016 --> 00:10:42,809

Boy bands

aren't about music.

00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:46,021

Boy bands are created

by corporations to make money,

00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,648

they're all based on

the Garmlich effect.

00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:49,066

What's

the Garmlich effect?

00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:50,525

The law of physics

that states

00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:52,194

if one girl screams

for something,

00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:53,654

it will make

other girls scream

00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:55,947

and then it grows

exponentiously

00:10:56,073 --> 00:10:58,742

until all girls within a

five-mile radius are screaming.

00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:00,285

So how do

boy bands use that?

00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:02,871

All they do is make videos

showing tons and tons

00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,873

of girls screaming

for the boy bands.

00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:07,501

Once you get girls screaming,

you can't stop 'em.

00:11:07,626 --> 00:11:08,835

They're crazy.

00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,212

Except for Lillith,

of course.

00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:11,588

Thanks.

- You're welcome.

00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:13,965

Now go away.

- Okay!

00:11:14,091 --> 00:11:16,301

And a cucumber in the pants

never hurt either.

00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:19,429

Cucumber in the pants.

Got it!

00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:20,806

Alright everybody, listen up.

00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:22,307

This is how this first shot

is gonna work.

00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:23,850

The girls are standing here,

00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:25,769

and then the members of the band

walk by looking cool.

00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:27,354

When you see us,

you girls all scream like,

00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:28,939

"Oh, my God, it's Fingerbang!

Oh, my God!"

00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:30,273

Okay?

00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:31,692

Are we going to get paid

now or after?

00:11:31,817 --> 00:11:32,984

I'll pay you afterwards,

promise.

00:11:33,110 --> 00:11:34,486

Okay, Timmy, roll camera!

- Timmy!

00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:35,987

Dude, what's wrong

with your leg?

00:11:36,113 --> 00:11:37,614

Huh, oh Chef said to put

a cucumber down my pants

00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:39,282

for good luck.

00:11:39,408 --> 00:11:41,201

All: Ya!

Whoo-whoo!

00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:43,120

Wait, wait, wait, wait, cut!

- Ha-ha!

00:11:43,245 --> 00:11:44,579

You have to go crazier

than that.

00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:45,956

I mean, you have to act

like it's freakin'

00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:47,124

Leonardo DiCaprio.

00:11:47,249 --> 00:11:48,458

We wouldn't give a rat's ass

00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:49,876

if Leonardo DiCaprio

came walking passed us.

00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:51,128

All: Yeah!

00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:52,587

Fine, who would you

go crazy for?

00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:55,132

[all]

Matt Lauer.

00:11:55,257 --> 00:11:56,842

Okay, fine.

Pretend that we're Matt Lauer.

00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,427

Oh, okay!

- Okay, roll camera.

00:11:58,552 --> 00:12:00,762

Timmy!

00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,931

All: [scream loudly]

00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,142

Jesus Christ!

00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:07,602

All: ♪ Fingerbang bang you

every night ♪

00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:08,937

And cut!

00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,772

Alright, our video's complete.

- Timmy!

00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,441

With the grace of God,

I can now go back

00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:14,067

to that mall manager

and show him what we've got!

00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:15,193

Okay, so where's our money?

00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:16,862

Oh, uh, Kyle has it.

00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:18,780

Stanley, what the hell

are you doing?

00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:19,865

We are making a music video.

00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:21,700

You get in the truck

right now!

00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:24,453

Dad I was just--

- Get in the truck!

00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:25,537

Dad, I did all my chores.

00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:27,205

Why can't I play

with my friends?

00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:28,832

Stanley, it's just that

there's better things

00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:31,042

you can be doing on a Saturday

than singing and dancing.

00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:33,336

You could be watching TV

or laying in bed.

00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:34,713

Dad, I like being

in a boy band.

00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:36,506

I think it's interesting.

00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:38,633

Well, there's plenty of other

interesting things you can do.

00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:39,926

Have you ever tried marijuana?

- No!

00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:41,803

Well, maybe it's time.

- Dad!

00:12:44,306 --> 00:12:45,515

Hey!

00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:46,850

What are you doing?

00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,602

I've got a new strain

of anthrax

00:12:48,727 --> 00:12:51,646

that I will see unleash

upon all of North America.

00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:54,024

Move along, sir.

- Huh?

00:12:54,149 --> 00:12:55,942

[Cartman over intercom]

Attention, shoppers,

00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,903

there are naked people

at the orange smoothie machine.

00:12:58,028 --> 00:12:59,362

There are naked people

at the orange--

00:12:59,488 --> 00:13:00,947

Goddamn it!

00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:01,948

Hello again.

00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:03,450

What?

Oh, it's you.

00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:05,076

I don't like you.

00:13:05,202 --> 00:13:06,244

I know you didn't

love our audition,

00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:07,412

but now we have a video.

00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:08,830

Oh.

What?

00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,332

If you would, sir,

just watch this

00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,083

and prepare to be wowed.

00:13:12,209 --> 00:13:12,709

♪♪

00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,632

Timmy!

00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,010

Oh, Goddamn it.

00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,303

Our camera guy kinda sucks,

00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:27,057

but this next shot we did

was really cool.

00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:30,060

Ah!

00:13:30,185 --> 00:13:31,728

Timmy!

Livin' a lie!

00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:32,896

Son of a bitch!

00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,981

Hey, this video's dumb.

00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:36,191

You don't understand.

00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,692

Girls were going

crazy for us, please!

00:13:37,818 --> 00:13:39,820

This is what God

wants me to do, please!

00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:41,780

Alright, alright.

- What?

00:13:41,905 --> 00:13:44,115

Well, I guess I can move

the sausage and cheese cart

00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:46,493

off to one side

for a little while.

00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:47,661

Really, you will?

00:13:47,786 --> 00:13:48,912

Only for 20 minutes, though.

00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:49,955

That's all we need.

00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,331

How about this afternoon

at 3:00?

00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:53,416

Oh, okay.

00:13:53,542 --> 00:13:55,877

Yes, thank you, sir.

You will not be disappointed.

00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:59,005

Oh, Mrs. Cartman,

I've been very bad, okay.

00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:00,882

You have been bad,

Mr. Mackey,

00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,051

so you're going to

have to drink from this glass.

00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,095

Oh, yeah,

that makes me hot.

00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:06,888

Oh, Mom!

- Wow! What?

00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:14,437

It's not fair, dad.

Why can't I be in a boy band?

00:14:14,563 --> 00:14:16,189

Because I said so!

00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:18,316

Dad, Cartman said we're going

to perform in the mall at 3:00.

00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:20,110

My friends are going to be

pissed off at me.

00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:22,028

Let 'em be pissed off then.

I don't understand.

00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:23,697

Just let me let me go do

this one thing and I won't--

00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:25,073

No!

No!

00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,867

[glass shattering]

00:14:32,122 --> 00:14:35,083

Dad, what the hell

is going on?

00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,668

I was...

00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,753

I was 18 when

my high school men's choir

00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:40,046

performed

at the grand opening

00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:41,923

of a sporting goods store

in Denver.

00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:45,176

All: ♪ Everything will wait ♪

00:14:45,302 --> 00:14:48,471

♪ Weep all ye little rains... ♪

00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:51,141

I was just one of 15 members

and I had no idea

00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:52,559

that a record producer

was in the audience.

00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:55,478

♪ Colorado trail ♪

00:14:55,604 --> 00:14:58,064

[clapping]

00:14:58,189 --> 00:14:59,316

Kid, can I talk to you?

- Sure.

00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:00,984

You were really great

up there.

00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:03,153

Too good for a pissant choir

in a pissant mountain town.

00:15:03,278 --> 00:15:04,654

Oh, thanks.

00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:06,281

Listen, I'm putting together

a rock group,

00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,241

a vocal group called

the Ghetto Avenue Boys.

00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:10,327

I think you would make

a perfect member.

00:15:10,452 --> 00:15:12,287

What, me?

You like my singing that much?

00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,623

Yeah, I think

your mustache is perfect.

00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:15,957

How would you like

to come to New York

00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,208

and start

a singing career?

00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,877

Oh my God,

I don't know.

00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:20,879

I mean, I still have another

year of high school and I--

00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:22,923

hey, look, if you don't

want it, I'll keep looking.

00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:24,424

No, wait.

I mean... I'll think about it.

00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:27,218

I take it that means yes.

Call me in the morning.

00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:28,970

And just like that,

I left everything.

00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,305

I dropped out of high school.

00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,681

See ya!

00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:32,724

I said good-bye

to my girlfriend.

00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:33,725

See ya!

00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,101

And I left my family.

00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:36,895

See ya!

00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:38,480

And suddenly there I was,

00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,190

thrown into a group

with four other young men

00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:41,316

who I didn't even know.

00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,026

Take 112.

00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:44,778

All:

♪ You've got it ♪

00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:47,072

♪ You know you've got it ♪

♪ Girl ♪

00:15:47,197 --> 00:15:48,239

All:

♪ What you've got is it ♪

00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:49,616

The songs were terrible,

00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:51,284

but believe it or not

the country ate them up.

00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:52,619

The next thing I knew,

00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:54,621

we were the biggest thing

in the world.

00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:56,206

All: ♪ What you've got is it ♪

00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:58,500

♪ Now, give it to me 'cause ♪

00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,043

I had everything,

a huge house

00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:02,295

and all the women

you can imagine.

00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:04,547

And then one day,

just as quick as it started...

00:16:04,673 --> 00:16:06,341

Alright, guys,

let's take it from the top.

00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:07,384

Hey, Mr. Allens.

00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:08,385

Hey, oh...

00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:09,761

Uh, Randy.

00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:11,721

Who are they?

00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:13,473

These are

the Avenue Ghetto Street Boys.

00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:15,517

My new boy band.

00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:17,727

But, we're still

selling records right?

00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:20,271

Look, kid, you're just

getting a little old

00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:21,564

to be in a boy band.

00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:23,608

I'm 19.

- Get a life, Marsh!

00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:25,485

Alright, guys,

let's take it from the top.

00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:27,320

They said that after

all the money we had made

00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:28,655

we were in debt

to the studio.

00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:29,948

So they towed my car.

00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:30,949

See ya!

00:16:31,074 --> 00:16:31,950

The women all left.

00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:32,951

All: See ya!

00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:34,160

And they took back my house.

00:16:34,285 --> 00:16:35,787

See ya!

00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,622

The only thing I could do

was come back to Colorado

00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:39,874

and face everyone

that I had abandoned.

00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,419

Hey, weren't you the guy

in that stupid boy band,

00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:43,628

the Ghetto Avenue Boys?

00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:45,296

Sure, I remember you.

00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:47,257

♪ You got it, baby ♪

00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:48,717

♪ You got it going on ♪

00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:51,803

[laughter]

00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:53,138

And so, you see, Stanley,

00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:55,807

I do know

what I'm talking about.

00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:58,476

Jesus Christ.

I never knew.

00:16:58,601 --> 00:17:01,563

I didn't want you to know,

because now I'm a joke.

00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:04,691

Ever since then,

I have wished every single day

00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:06,401

that I could go back

to that moment

00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,611

when I was offered the job

and say, "no."

00:17:08,737 --> 00:17:10,238

Because all the fame,

the money, the women,

00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,198

all it did

was build me up,

00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:13,241

so that I could be

knocked down

00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,827

harder than anybody

in the world.

00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:18,705

That's what being in a boy band

is all about, Stanley.

00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:20,915

It's people smothering you

and embracing you and loving you

00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:22,709

and then spitting you out

and throwing you away

00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:24,127

like you were

last night's pork chops.

00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:26,212

Now, we wander the Earth

in disarray,

00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:28,131

us, New Kids on the block,

the Osmonds,

00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:29,966

we're all the same.

00:17:30,091 --> 00:17:33,053

And that is why

you can't go to the mall.

00:17:36,514 --> 00:17:38,016

Okay.

00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:42,937

Wow, there must be at least

20 people out there.

00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:44,355

Where the hell is Stan?

00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:45,857

He'll be here.

Stan wouldn't douche.

00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:47,609

I swear to God,

if he ruins this dream of mine,

00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,069

I will have his nuts!

00:17:49,194 --> 00:17:51,321

Hey, uh, are you gonna

do that thing or what?

00:17:51,446 --> 00:17:52,739

Yes, yes, sir.

Any second.

00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:54,532

We're just waiting

on one more member.

00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:56,576

Well, hurry up, I can't keep

the sausage and cheese cart

00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:58,161

off this spot much longer.

00:17:58,286 --> 00:17:59,662

Yeah, we'll start

right away.

00:17:59,788 --> 00:18:01,414

We'll have to do it

without him.

00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:03,083

Hell no, I'm not being part

of a four member boy band!

00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:04,167

We'll look stupid.

- Yeah!

00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:06,544

Oh, Goddamn it!

00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:15,970

Dad?

- Huh, yeah?

00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:18,014

Well, I just wanted

to tell you

00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:19,307

that I don't think

you're a joke.

00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:20,683

I mean,

whatever you used to be,

00:18:20,809 --> 00:18:22,143

you're just my dad

00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:25,855

and you're the best dad

I've ever had.

00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:27,649

Come here, Stanley.

00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,609

Stan, it was wrong of me

to try and stop you

00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:31,653

from joining a boy band

without explaining why.

00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,655

I made some mistakes

in my life,

00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:36,116

and now I have to let

you make your own mistakes.

00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:37,867

Yeah.

00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:39,410

You know, in a way,

I think I was even jealous

00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:40,662

of you being in a boy band.

00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:42,455

Isn't that stupid?

- Not really.

00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:44,332

Not any more stupid than some

of the other stuff you've done.

00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,126

Well, come on.

I'll drive you down to the mall.

00:18:46,251 --> 00:18:47,377

Really?

- Yeah.

00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:48,753

I want to see

what you guys can do.

00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:49,879

And then we'll go buy you

a small toy,

00:18:50,004 --> 00:18:51,297

so you can

forget all about this.

00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:52,674

Alright!

00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:55,969

What's happening here?

00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:57,303

I don't know.

I guess nothing.

00:18:57,428 --> 00:18:59,639

Hmm, well,

let's walk away then.

00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:01,057

Goddamn it!

People are walking away!

00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:02,976

Alright, kids,

that does it.

00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:04,394

You're gonna have to

move and make way

00:19:04,519 --> 00:19:05,687

for the sausage and cheese cart.

00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:06,688

Just another minute.

00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:10,191

Sorry, get out.

00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:12,443

Well, God, I guess you

got me again didn't you.

00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:14,028

Yeah, that was

a good one, God.

00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:15,947

Hope it made you laugh,

you sick bastard.

00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:18,074

What's that?

00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:19,450

It's Stan!

00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:21,411

Oh, thank you, God!

Oh, praise his name!

00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:22,996

Dude, where the hell

have you been?

00:19:23,121 --> 00:19:24,455

Sir, we're all here now.

Can we go on, please?

00:19:24,581 --> 00:19:25,915

Who?

00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,417

Well, okay, I guess,

but hurry up.

00:19:27,542 --> 00:19:29,043

We will.

00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:30,837

Ladies and gentlemen,

you are about to witness

00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:32,755

the next great boy band

of the country.

00:19:32,881 --> 00:19:35,091

Some day you will all

be among those who can say,

00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:36,801

"I saw Fingerbang

when they first performed

00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:39,053

at some crappy little mall."

00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:40,555

And so without further ado

00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,850

all five members of the--

00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:45,435

oh, my God,

they killed Kenny!

00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:46,769

You bastards!

00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:48,563

No, he can't be dead.

00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,064

Dude, he's pretty dead.

00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:52,066

No, we were so close!

00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:54,027

Alright, that's it, kids.

Get out!

00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:55,361

But, we have to perform.

00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:57,030

We don't have

a fifth member, Cartman.

00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:59,073

Oh, yes, we do.

00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:00,533

Thank you

all for your patience

00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:02,493

and get ready for Fingerbang!

00:20:02,619 --> 00:20:04,245

All: ♪ Fingerbang ♪

00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:05,622

♪ Bang bang ♪

00:20:05,747 --> 00:20:07,498

♪ Fingerbang bang ♪

00:20:07,624 --> 00:20:09,292

♪ Bang bang bang ♪

00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:12,503

♪ I'm gonna fingerbang bang you

into my life ♪

00:20:12,629 --> 00:20:15,840

♪ Girl, you like to fingerbang

and it's alright ♪

00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:17,634

♪ Because I'm

the king of fingerbang ♪

00:20:17,759 --> 00:20:19,135

♪ Let's not fight ♪

00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:23,097

♪ I'll just fingerbang bang you

every night ♪

00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:26,100

♪ I'll just fingerbang bang you

every night ♪

00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:27,143

Cha!

00:20:27,268 --> 00:20:29,646

[clapping]

00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:32,899

Yes, yes!

Thank you, yes!

00:20:35,944 --> 00:20:37,320

We made $2.

00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:38,696

You were great, Dad.

00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:40,240

Yeah, I guess I still

got it in me a little.

00:20:40,365 --> 00:20:41,783

Can I get

your autograph?

00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:43,284

Okay, okay.

00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,328

Hey, don't hassle

the talent, ma'am.

00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:47,205

I actually don't really

know who they are.

00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:48,373

I was just getting

an autograph--

00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:50,208

Ah!

00:20:50,333 --> 00:20:51,668

Move along, ma'am.

00:20:51,793 --> 00:20:53,294

That was pretty good, kids.

00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:56,297

Maybe you can come perform

at my Elk's Club sometime.

00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:58,132

Okay, yeah, maybe.

00:20:58,258 --> 00:21:00,176

God, now it's like everybody

wants a piece of us.

00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:01,928

Yeah.

00:21:02,053 --> 00:21:03,346

I don't know if I can handle

all this fame.

00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:05,473

I mean, I always thought

I'd want to be famous,

00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:08,184

but now that I am,

I don't know if I like it.

00:21:08,309 --> 00:21:09,936

I mean, I probably can't

even walk through this mall

00:21:10,061 --> 00:21:11,229

right now without people going

00:21:11,354 --> 00:21:12,522

"oh, my God,

it's the Fingerbang guy!

00:21:12,647 --> 00:21:13,773

Oh, my God!"

00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:15,233

Yeah, that's gonna suck.

00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:17,068

Yeah, I just want to be

a normal kid again,

00:21:17,193 --> 00:21:19,112

have a normal life,

and appreciate what I have.

00:21:19,237 --> 00:21:21,823

I think you boys are

very smart for your age.

00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:23,908

Come on, I'll buy you all

an orange smoothie.

00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:25,368

I don't think

they sell those anymore.

00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:27,537

Hey, Cartman, do you think

God is going to be mad at you

00:21:27,662 --> 00:21:28,830

for not making $10 million?

00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:29,998

Oh, screw God.

I'm not scared of him.

00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:32,000

He's a pussy.

00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:33,251

You know I'm just kidding,

right?