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Кое-что, что можно сделать пальцем
Something You Can Do With Your Finger
Сезон: 04Серия: 08
Описание
Друзья вместе с Венди организуют мальчиковую группу, но отец Стэна, вспомнив свой опыт участия в бой-бэнде, категорически против.
Субтитры
- 00:00:08,759 --> 00:00:09,885 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:10,011 --> 00:00:11,846 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:11,971 --> 00:00:13,681 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:15,141 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,266 --> 00:00:16,475 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,519 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:20,229 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,897 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
- 00:00:22,023 --> 00:00:23,232 ♪ Headin' on up to South Park ♪
- 00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:24,984 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:29,780 ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:31,907 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:34,368 Tonight Stellar Productions presents
- 00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:36,912 the boy band of the decade
- 00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:40,708 it's <i>Fingerbang</i> live from Madison Square Gardens!
- 00:00:48,174 --> 00:00:49,759 ♪ Fingerbang ♪
- 00:00:49,884 --> 00:00:51,177 ♪ Bang, bang ♪
- 00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:52,928 ♪ Fingerbang bang, bang ♪
- 00:00:53,054 --> 00:00:54,430 ♪ Bang, bang, bang ♪
- 00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:58,017 ♪ I'm going fingerbang bang you into my life ♪
- 00:00:58,142 --> 00:01:01,562 ♪ Girl you like to fingerbang and it's alright ♪
- 00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:04,607 ♪ Because I'm the king of fingerbang let's not fight ♪
- 00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:09,445 ♪ I'm gonna fingerbang bang you every night ♪
- 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:13,365 ♪ And girl you know that you're the only girl for me ♪
- 00:01:13,491 --> 00:01:16,786 ♪ Girl, girl you're the girl of my fantasies ♪
- 00:01:16,911 --> 00:01:18,370 Cartman, I want you!
- 00:01:18,496 --> 00:01:22,124 ♪ You're my girl ♪
- 00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:23,793 ♪ Fingerbang bang ♪
- 00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:25,961 ♪ Bang, bang, bang ♪
- 00:01:26,087 --> 00:01:27,963 ♪ Fingerbang bang ♪
- 00:01:28,089 --> 00:01:29,215 ♪ Bang, bang, bang ♪
- 00:01:29,340 --> 00:01:31,008 ♪ I'm gonna fingerbang bang ♪
- 00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:34,845 Yes, yes, yes, I'm a star.
- 00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:35,888 I'm a star!
- 00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,681 I'm--
- 00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:40,768 Oh, I'm nobody, goddamn it!
- 00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:43,521 Wait a minute, maybe that was a sign from God.
- 00:01:43,646 --> 00:01:44,730 That's it, isn't it.
- 00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:46,023 You want me to start a boy band,
- 00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:47,608 so I can make $10 million, don't you?
- 00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:50,528 That's it!
- 00:01:50,653 --> 00:01:52,446 Gentlemen, thank you for coming.
- 00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:54,490 This is the beginning of a great time in our lives.
- 00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:56,826 God has finally spoken to me, guys,
- 00:01:56,951 --> 00:01:59,912 and he has told me how I can make $10 million.
- 00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:01,330 How? - Boy band.
- 00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:02,832 Boy band? - Boy band.
- 00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:04,625 I'm not being in a faggy boy band.
- 00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:06,794 There's nothing faggy about $10 million, asshole!
- 00:02:06,919 --> 00:02:08,254 This was a message from God!
- 00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:10,005 Dude, we don't have any musical talent.
- 00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:12,049 That didn't stop any of the other boy bands, dumbass!
- 00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:14,260 I've got prerecorded music we can sing to, just like they do.
- 00:02:14,385 --> 00:02:16,011 All we need to do is practice our choreography
- 00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:17,596 over and over and over.
- 00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:20,599 Shut up, Kenny.
- 00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,518 And then I know I can get us a gig at the South Park Mall.
- 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,145 So everybody get in a straight line,
- 00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:25,813 we're going to listen to the song from the top and--
- 00:02:25,938 --> 00:02:27,523 Wait a minute, there's only four of us.
- 00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:28,524 So? - So all boy bands
- 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,109 have five members. - What?
- 00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:31,610 N'sync, Backstreet Boys, New Kids on the Block,
- 00:02:31,735 --> 00:02:32,695 all had five members.
- 00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:33,654 He's right. - Damn it!
- 00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:34,864 Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
- 00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:36,157 We'll put off songs for now
- 00:02:36,282 --> 00:02:37,783 and hold auditions for a fifth member.
- 00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:41,162 Get the word out that auditions will be tomorrow morning.
- 00:02:41,287 --> 00:02:43,622 Did you have fun at Eric's house today, Stanley?
- 00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:45,332 I guess. - What did you do?
- 00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:46,917 Well, Cartman wants to start a boy band,
- 00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,836 so we're going to rehearse and then try to perform
- 00:02:48,961 --> 00:02:49,837 at the South Park Mall.
- 00:02:49,962 --> 00:02:50,838 Oh, that sounds nice.
- 00:02:50,963 --> 00:02:52,506 No, it does not sound nice.
- 00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:54,508 Stanley, you are going to have no part of that boy band.
- 00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:56,218 Well, but, Dad, all my friends are doing it.
- 00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:57,678 If all your friends jumped off a cliff,
- 00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,013 would you do that too?
- 00:02:59,138 --> 00:03:00,514 Cartman says we can make $10 million.
- 00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:02,266 You are not going to be in a boy band, Stanley,
- 00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:04,852 and that is final!
- 00:03:04,977 --> 00:03:07,563 Geez, what's up Dad's ass?
- 00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:11,567 ♪ Little bunny foo-foo hopping through the forest ♪
- 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,527 ♪ Scoopin' up the field mice and bopping 'em on the head ♪
- 00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:15,821 Down came the white angel and she said,
- 00:03:15,946 --> 00:03:17,698 ♪ Little bunny foo-foo I don't want to see you ♪
- 00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:19,950 ♪ Scoopin' up the field mice and bopping 'em on the head ♪
- 00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:21,994 ♪ So now I'm going to turn you into a worm, ♪
- 00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:24,163 ♪ bu-bunny foo-foo, poof! ♪
- 00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:26,248 ♪ Little wormy foo-foo crawling through the forest ♪
- 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:27,666 ♪ Gettin' scooped up by the field mice ♪
- 00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:30,169 ♪ And g-gonna bop him on the head ♪
- 00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:31,879 Ah, thank you, Butters. We'll let you know.
- 00:03:32,004 --> 00:03:32,963 I can do it again.
- 00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:34,089 We'll let you know, Butters.
- 00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:34,840 Well, alright then.
- 00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:38,510 Pff, oh my God, his intonation was so off!
- 00:03:38,844 --> 00:03:39,595 It was?
- 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,472 Dude, I don't think I can sing any better than that.
- 00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:43,349 Guys, if we're going to impress the mall owner
- 00:03:43,474 --> 00:03:44,934 and get that gig, we better do it better than that.
- 00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:46,518 Next!
- 00:03:46,644 --> 00:03:48,145 Ah, next is Ike Brovlofsky. Kyle's brother?
- 00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:49,563 I promised my mom I'd let him try.
- 00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:50,981 Christ sake. What key?
- 00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:53,609 "G".
- 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:57,905 ♪ Itsy-bitsy spider up the water spout ♪
- 00:03:58,030 --> 00:03:59,865 Next!
- 00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:03,577 ♪ Oh, Danny boy, the pipes are calling ♪
- 00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:05,704 ♪ Clang, clangy, clang ♪
- 00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,498 Next audition!
- 00:04:07,623 --> 00:04:12,419 ♪ E-f-g-h-l-j-k-l-m-n-p ♪
- 00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:13,796 Goddamn it, next!
- 00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:19,885 ♪ G-u-b, when the teacher wanna punch me ♪
- 00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:22,263 Not the next song, the next person!
- 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:31,397 Oh, man, this is gonna be a long-ass day.
- 00:04:31,522 --> 00:04:32,898 Oh, no! No, no, no, no!
- 00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:35,276 Sorry, Wendy, this is try-outs for a boy band.
- 00:04:35,401 --> 00:04:36,652 Oh, come on, dude. Let her try.
- 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:37,736 No way! - Come on, Cartman.
- 00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:39,113 You haven't liked anybody else.
- 00:04:39,238 --> 00:04:40,114 Okay, okay, fine.
- 00:04:40,239 --> 00:04:42,658 Wow me!
- 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:46,954 ♪ Mrs. Landers was a health nut, she cooked food in a wok ♪
- 00:04:47,079 --> 00:04:49,206 ♪ Mr. Harris was her boyfriend and he had a great big ♪
- 00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:51,750 ♪ Cock-a-doodle-doodle, the rooster just won't quit ♪
- 00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:54,086 ♪ And I don't want my breakfast because it taste like ♪
- 00:04:54,211 --> 00:04:56,588 ♪ Shih tzus make good house pets they're cuddly and sweet ♪
- 00:04:56,714 --> 00:04:59,049 ♪ Monkeys aren't good to have 'cause they like to beat their ♪
- 00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:01,468 ♪ Meeting in the office a meeting in the hall ♪
- 00:05:01,593 --> 00:05:03,846 ♪ The boss he wants to see you so you can suck his ♪
- 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:06,682 ♪ Balzac was a writer, he lived with Allen Funt ♪
- 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,767 ♪ Mrs. Roberts didn't like him but that's because she's a ♪
- 00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:11,687 ♪ Contaminated water can really make you sick ♪
- 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,939 ♪ Your bladder gets infected and blood comes out your ♪
- 00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:16,525 ♪ Dictate what I'm saying 'cause it will bring you luck ♪
- 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:19,403 ♪ And if you all don't like it I don't give a flying fuck ♪
- 00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:24,033 Thanks, Wendy, don't call us. We won't call you either.
- 00:05:24,158 --> 00:05:25,284 Dude, what are you talking about?
- 00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:26,535 That was awesome!
- 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:27,870 Dude, she's a chick!
- 00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:28,996 Come on, nobody's going to notice.
- 00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:30,456 Nobody's gonna notice?
- 00:05:30,581 --> 00:05:32,166 What about her huge freakin' hooters, huh?
- 00:05:32,291 --> 00:05:33,667 She's the best chance we have. I say she's in.
- 00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:34,960 Me too. - Me too.
- 00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:36,670 Oh, this is a democratic boy band, is it?
- 00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:38,172 Alright, fine. She's in until she screws up.
- 00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:39,423 Yeah!
- 00:05:40,883 --> 00:05:42,343 Okay, you guys all ready to rehearse?
- 00:05:42,468 --> 00:05:43,886 Cartman, it's 6:00 in the morning.
- 00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,054 Do we have to rehearse this early?
- 00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:46,597 We have to rehearse all that we can.
- 00:05:46,722 --> 00:05:48,307 Now, check this out. My mom made us costumes.
- 00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:49,308 Costumes?
- 00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:50,726 Yeah, this one's yours, Stan.
- 00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,019 This one is Kyle's.
- 00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:53,645 This one will cover-up Wendy's hooters.
- 00:05:53,771 --> 00:05:55,439 Hey Cartman, how come your costume has, like,
- 00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:56,940 nose-rings and facial hair?
- 00:05:57,066 --> 00:05:58,400 'Cause I'm, like, you know, the tough one.
- 00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,277 Every boy band has to have the one member that's,
- 00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:01,362 you know, is tough.
- 00:06:01,487 --> 00:06:02,363 I want to be the tough one.
- 00:06:02,488 --> 00:06:04,573 Kyle, you are the sweet one.
- 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,033 Will you please just cooperate and not--
- 00:06:06,158 --> 00:06:07,743 I wanna be the tough one.
- 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,787 You can't be the tough one because you're Jewish!
- 00:06:09,912 --> 00:06:11,246 Jews are tough! - Since when?
- 00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:12,539 Since Abraham, fatass!
- 00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:14,875 Alright, fine, here.
- 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,335 Jesus Christ, I wonder if every boy band
- 00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:17,586 had to go through this.
- 00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:22,591 Hey Cartman, what does fingerbang mean anyways?
- 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,343 I heard it on HBO.
- 00:06:24,468 --> 00:06:26,553 It means like, you know, when you pretend to use your finger
- 00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:27,304 like a gun or something.
- 00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:30,349 Kenny says, "that's not what it means."
- 00:06:30,474 --> 00:06:32,142 Okay, Kenny, what does fingerbang mean then?
- 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,147 What? Who the hell would do that!
- 00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:39,024 Jesus Christ, grow up, Kenny, would you?
- 00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:40,526 Alright, boys, let's do it from the top.
- 00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:44,321 One, two, three, four.
- 00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:46,615 Now, I know that this is your first day on the job
- 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,492 of mall security, rookie.
- 00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:51,662 Keeping the law in the mall is just like any tough city,
- 00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:54,498 and especially because they don't let us have guns,
- 00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:56,166 it can be very dangerous.
- 00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:57,960 Alright, guys, just do it like we rehearsed.
- 00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,545 We need energy. We need to be up.
- 00:06:59,670 --> 00:07:01,922 Excuse me, just where do you think you're going?
- 00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:03,257 We're going to see the mall manager.
- 00:07:03,382 --> 00:07:05,134 Do you have the proper clearance?
- 00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:06,510 Uh-oh, mall cops.
- 00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:08,554 You have to make an appointment first.
- 00:07:08,679 --> 00:07:10,305 Now move along, sir.
- 00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:11,765 But we practiced for days!
- 00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:13,851 All we want to do is show the guy what we can do,
- 00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:15,436 so that maybe we'll have a chance to perform
- 00:07:15,561 --> 00:07:16,645 in the plaza of the--
- 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,480 ah, ah, ah!
- 00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:19,815 Ah, oh, Goddamn it!
- 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,024 Jesus Christ, dude!
- 00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:22,609 Oh, God, I can't see!
- 00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:26,697 Move along, sir, or I'll do it again.
- 00:07:26,822 --> 00:07:29,533 You see, you put your life on the line every day.
- 00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:31,618 Well, I guess we can't get in to see the mall manager.
- 00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,537 The hell we can't!
- 00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:35,080 I'm not letting no washed-up mall cops
- 00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:36,915 ruin my divine quest. Come on!
- 00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:45,757 Hey!
- 00:07:45,883 --> 00:07:47,676 What are you doing?
- 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,846 Nothing, just shopping.
- 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:53,307 Move along, sir.
- 00:07:53,432 --> 00:07:55,476 You see, sometimes you gotta just do that.
- 00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:58,854 Keep shoppers on their toes. Try it.
- 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,189 Hey!
- 00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:01,732 What are you doin'?
- 00:08:01,857 --> 00:08:03,650 Nothing, why?
- 00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:06,069 Move along, ma'am.
- 00:08:06,195 --> 00:08:08,655 That's what being a mall cop is all about, yeah.
- 00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,240 Cool.
- 00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:12,242 Attention, mall shoppers,
- 00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:13,869 the next 20 people to buy an orange smoothie
- 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,079 will also receive a complimentary Nissan Sentra.
- 00:08:16,205 --> 00:08:17,080 Hurry up.
- 00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:21,168 Jesus, they're gonna start a riot!
- 00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:22,669 Alright, guys, here we go.
- 00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:24,213 Hello, sir! - What?
- 00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:25,672 Hey, who are you?
- 00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:27,132 We are <i>Fingerbang.</i>
- 00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:29,426 Oh, what?
- 00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:31,303 How'd you get in here? Hey!
- 00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:32,804 We would like to audition for you
- 00:08:32,930 --> 00:08:34,473 for a gig in the central plaza of your fine mall.
- 00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:36,183 What? Oh.
- 00:08:36,308 --> 00:08:37,309 You want to play at the mall?
- 00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:38,894 Like Tiffany?
- 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,896 Sort of like Tiffany, yes. Can we audition?
- 00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,899 Oh, well, I guess. What?
- 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:47,986 Alright, let's do it boys!
- 00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:51,615 ♪ Gonna fingerbang bang you into my life ♪
- 00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:55,118 ♪ Girl, you like to fingerbang and that's alright ♪
- 00:08:55,244 --> 00:08:59,540 ♪ Gonna fingerbang bang you every night ♪
- 00:08:59,665 --> 00:09:01,917 ♪ And, girl, you know, you, girl, you, girl ♪
- 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,585 ♪ You're the girl of my dreams ♪
- 00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,546 ♪ You, girl, you, girl, you're the girl of my dreams ♪
- 00:09:05,671 --> 00:09:06,964 Okay, that's enough!
- 00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:08,215 ♪ You're my fantasy, my fantasy- ♪
- 00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:09,299 Thank you! So can we play here?
- 00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:10,592 What? No.
- 00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:11,802 No? - Who?
- 00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:13,136 No. - Why not?
- 00:09:13,262 --> 00:09:15,180 Well, uh, uh, oh...
- 00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:18,058 Right now there's a cheese and sausage cart in the plaza,
- 00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:20,435 and I would--I'd hate to have to move it
- 00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,020 off to the side for a while.
- 00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:23,480 What?
- 00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:24,773 You don't think we're any good, do you?
- 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,316 No, I mean, just not quite as good
- 00:09:26,441 --> 00:09:27,859 as sausage and cheese.
- 00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:30,904 Well, come on, guys. We gave it our best.
- 00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:34,491 Wow, that was your best?
- 00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:36,076 Wow, I feel so rejected.
- 00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:37,619 Yeah. There you are!
- 00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,246 You're the hoodlums who got on the intercom
- 00:09:39,371 --> 00:09:40,998 and started an orange smoothie riot!
- 00:09:41,123 --> 00:09:42,332 Uh-oh.
- 00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:43,792 I will now read you your mall rights.
- 00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:46,128 You have the right to shop at a variety of malls--
- 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,129 Run for it!
- 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,213 Go get 'em, rookie!
- 00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,844 Where is Stan?
- 00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:56,054 Oh, he's over at Eric's house practicing for his boy band.
- 00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:57,806 What, I specifically told him not to do that!
- 00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:00,142 Now, Randy, calm down. It's just a silly little dream.
- 00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:01,685 They're not gonna actually make it.
- 00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:03,103 And what if they do make it, Sharon?
- 00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:04,438 What if they do make it?
- 00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:06,064 Are you going to be the one to tell him?
- 00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:08,317 Mom, what's up Dad's ass?
- 00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:09,651 It's a long story, Shelly.
- 00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:11,236 Let's just say your father...
- 00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:12,654 Has a lot up his ass right now.
- 00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:16,408 Oh, oh, hello, Eric.
- 00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:18,952 Problem, Chef. I have many problems.
- 00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:21,997 Well, if you, uh, come back in just a little bit, Eric,
- 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,498 I'll see if I can help you out.
- 00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:25,042 Just don't know what I'm going to do.
- 00:10:25,167 --> 00:10:27,002 Sometimes I just wonder if God is just toying with me.
- 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,004 Alright, Eric, what's the matter?
- 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,505 Chef, God told me I was to start a boy band
- 00:10:30,631 --> 00:10:31,798 and make $10 million.
- 00:10:31,923 --> 00:10:33,008 The problem is it isn't working.
- 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:36,094 I mean, I feel the music burning inside me,
- 00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:37,804 but I just can't express it right, you know?
- 00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:39,348 Well, Eric, I think you're just
- 00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:40,891 focusing in on the wrong thing.
- 00:10:41,016 --> 00:10:42,809 Boy bands aren't about music.
- 00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:46,021 Boy bands are created by corporations to make money,
- 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,648 they're all based on the Garmlich effect.
- 00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:49,066 What's the Garmlich effect?
- 00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:50,525 The law of physics that states
- 00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:52,194 if one girl screams for something,
- 00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:53,654 it will make other girls scream
- 00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:55,947 and then it grows exponentiously
- 00:10:56,073 --> 00:10:58,742 until all girls within a five-mile radius are screaming.
- 00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:00,285 So how do boy bands use that?
- 00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:02,871 All they do is make videos showing tons and tons
- 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,873 of girls screaming for the boy bands.
- 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:07,501 Once you get girls screaming, you can't stop 'em.
- 00:11:07,626 --> 00:11:08,835 They're crazy.
- 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,212 Except for Lillith, of course.
- 00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:11,588 Thanks. - You're welcome.
- 00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:13,965 Now go away. - Okay!
- 00:11:14,091 --> 00:11:16,301 And a cucumber in the pants never hurt either.
- 00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:19,429 Cucumber in the pants. Got it!
- 00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:20,806 Alright everybody, listen up.
- 00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:22,307 This is how this first shot is gonna work.
- 00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:23,850 The girls are standing here,
- 00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:25,769 and then the members of the band walk by looking cool.
- 00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:27,354 When you see us, you girls all scream like,
- 00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:28,939 "Oh, my God, it's <i>Fingerbang</i>! Oh, my God!"
- 00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:30,273 Okay?
- 00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:31,692 Are we going to get paid now or after?
- 00:11:31,817 --> 00:11:32,984 I'll pay you afterwards, promise.
- 00:11:33,110 --> 00:11:34,486 Okay, Timmy, roll camera! - Timmy!
- 00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:35,987 Dude, what's wrong with your leg?
- 00:11:36,113 --> 00:11:37,614 Huh, oh Chef said to put a cucumber down my pants
- 00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:39,282 for good luck.
- 00:11:39,408 --> 00:11:41,201 Ya! Whoo-whoo!
- 00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:43,120 Wait, wait, wait, wait, cut! - Ha-ha!
- 00:11:43,245 --> 00:11:44,579 You have to go crazier than that.
- 00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:45,956 I mean, you have to act like it's freakin'
- 00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:47,124 Leonardo DiCaprio.
- 00:11:47,249 --> 00:11:48,458 We wouldn't give a rat's ass
- 00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:49,876 if Leonardo DiCaprio came walking passed us.
- 00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:51,128 Yeah!
- 00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:52,587 Fine, who would you go crazy for?
- 00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:55,132 Matt Lauer.
- 00:11:55,257 --> 00:11:56,842 Okay, fine. Pretend that we're Matt Lauer.
- 00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,427 Oh, okay! - Okay, roll camera.
- 00:11:58,552 --> 00:12:00,762 Timmy!
- 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,142 Jesus Christ!
- 00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:07,602 ♪ Fingerbang bang you every night ♪
- 00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:08,937 And cut!
- 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,772 Alright, our video's complete. - Timmy!
- 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,441 With the grace of God, I can now go back
- 00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:14,067 to that mall manager and show him what we've got!
- 00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:15,193 Okay, so where's our money?
- 00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:16,862 Oh, uh, Kyle has it.
- 00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:18,780 Stanley, what the hell are you doing?
- 00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:19,865 We are making a music video.
- 00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:21,700 You get in the truck right now!
- 00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:24,453 Dad I was just-- - Get in the truck!
- 00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:25,537 Dad, I did all my chores.
- 00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:27,205 Why can't I play with my friends?
- 00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:28,832 Stanley, it's just that there's better things
- 00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:31,042 you can be doing on a Saturday than singing and dancing.
- 00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:33,336 You could be watching TV or laying in bed.
- 00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:34,713 Dad, I like being in a boy band.
- 00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:36,506 I think it's interesting.
- 00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:38,633 Well, there's plenty of other interesting things you can do.
- 00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:39,926 Have you ever tried marijuana? - No!
- 00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:41,803 Well, maybe it's time. - Dad!
- 00:12:44,306 --> 00:12:45,515 Hey!
- 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:46,850 What are you doing?
- 00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,602 I've got a new strain of anthrax
- 00:12:48,727 --> 00:12:51,646 that I will see unleash upon all of North America.
- 00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:54,024 Move along, sir. - Huh?
- 00:12:54,149 --> 00:12:55,942 Attention, shoppers,
- 00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,903 there are naked people at the orange smoothie machine.
- 00:12:58,028 --> 00:12:59,362 There are naked people at the orange--
- 00:12:59,488 --> 00:13:00,947 Goddamn it!
- 00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:01,948 Hello again.
- 00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:03,450 What? Oh, it's you.
- 00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:05,076 I don't like you.
- 00:13:05,202 --> 00:13:06,244 I know you didn't love our audition,
- 00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:07,412 but now we have a video.
- 00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:08,830 Oh. What?
- 00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,332 If you would, sir, just watch this
- 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,083 and prepare to be wowed.
- 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,632 Timmy!
- 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,010 Oh, Goddamn it.
- 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,303 Our camera guy kinda sucks,
- 00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:27,057 but this next shot we did was really cool.
- 00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:30,060 Ah!
- 00:13:30,185 --> 00:13:31,728 Timmy! Livin' a lie!
- 00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:32,896 Son of a bitch!
- 00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,981 Hey, this video's dumb.
- 00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:36,191 You don't understand.
- 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,692 Girls were going crazy for us, please!
- 00:13:37,818 --> 00:13:39,820 This is what God wants me to do, please!
- 00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:41,780 Alright, alright. - What?
- 00:13:41,905 --> 00:13:44,115 Well, I guess I can move the sausage and cheese cart
- 00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:46,493 off to one side for a little while.
- 00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:47,661 Really, you will?
- 00:13:47,786 --> 00:13:48,912 Only for 20 minutes, though.
- 00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:49,955 That's all we need.
- 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,331 How about this afternoon at 3:00?
- 00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:53,416 Oh, okay.
- 00:13:53,542 --> 00:13:55,877 Yes, thank you, sir. You will not be disappointed.
- 00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:59,005 Oh, Mrs. Cartman, I've been very bad, okay.
- 00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:00,882 You have been bad, Mr. Mackey,
- 00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,051 so you're going to have to drink from this glass.
- 00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,095 Oh, yeah, that makes me hot.
- 00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:06,888 Oh, Mom! - Wow! What?
- 00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:14,437 It's not fair, dad. Why can't I be in a boy band?
- 00:14:14,563 --> 00:14:16,189 Because I said so!
- 00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:18,316 Dad, Cartman said we're going to perform in the mall at 3:00.
- 00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:20,110 My friends are going to be pissed off at me.
- 00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:22,028 Let 'em be pissed off then. I don't understand.
- 00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:23,697 Just let me let me go do this one thing and I won't--
- 00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:25,073 No! No!
- 00:14:32,122 --> 00:14:35,083 Dad, what the hell is going on?
- 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,668 I was...
- 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,753 I was 18 when my high school men's choir
- 00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:40,046 performed at the grand opening
- 00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:41,923 of a sporting goods store in Denver.
- 00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:45,176 ♪ Everything will wait ♪
- 00:14:45,302 --> 00:14:48,471 ♪ Weep all ye little rains... ♪
- 00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:51,141 I was just one of 15 members and I had no idea
- 00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:52,559 that a record producer was in the audience.
- 00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:55,478 ♪ Colorado trail ♪
- 00:14:58,189 --> 00:14:59,316 Kid, can I talk to you? - Sure.
- 00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:00,984 You were really great up there.
- 00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:03,153 Too good for a pissant choir in a pissant mountain town.
- 00:15:03,278 --> 00:15:04,654 Oh, thanks.
- 00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:06,281 Listen, I'm putting together a rock group,
- 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,241 a vocal group called the Ghetto Avenue Boys.
- 00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:10,327 I think you would make a perfect member.
- 00:15:10,452 --> 00:15:12,287 What, me? You like my singing that much?
- 00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,623 Yeah, I think your mustache is perfect.
- 00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:15,957 How would you like to come to New York
- 00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,208 and start a singing career?
- 00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,877 Oh my God, I don't know.
- 00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:20,879 I mean, I still have another year of high school and I--
- 00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:22,923 hey, look, if you don't want it, I'll keep looking.
- 00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:24,424 No, wait. I mean... I'll think about it.
- 00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:27,218 I take it that means yes. Call me in the morning.
- 00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:28,970 And just like that, I left everything.
- 00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,305 I dropped out of high school.
- 00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,681 See ya!
- 00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:32,724 I said good-bye to my girlfriend.
- 00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:33,725 See ya!
- 00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,101 And I left my family.
- 00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:36,895 See ya!
- 00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:38,480 And suddenly there I was,
- 00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,190 thrown into a group with four other young men
- 00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:41,316 who I didn't even know.
- 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,026 Take 112.
- 00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:44,778 ♪ You've got it ♪
- 00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:47,072 ♪ You know you've got it ♪ ♪ Girl ♪
- 00:15:47,197 --> 00:15:48,239 ♪ What you've got is it ♪
- 00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:49,616 The songs were terrible,
- 00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:51,284 but believe it or not the country ate them up.
- 00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:52,619 The next thing I knew,
- 00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:54,621 we were the biggest thing in the world.
- 00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:56,206 ♪ What you've got is it ♪
- 00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:58,500 ♪ Now, give it to me 'cause ♪
- 00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,043 I had everything, a huge house
- 00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:02,295 and all the women you can imagine.
- 00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:04,547 And then one day, just as quick as it started...
- 00:16:04,673 --> 00:16:06,341 Alright, guys, let's take it from the top.
- 00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:07,384 Hey, Mr. Allens.
- 00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:08,385 Hey, oh...
- 00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:09,761 Uh, Randy.
- 00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:11,721 Who are they?
- 00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:13,473 These are the Avenue Ghetto Street Boys.
- 00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:15,517 My new boy band.
- 00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:17,727 But, we're still selling records right?
- 00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:20,271 Look, kid, you're just getting a little old
- 00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:21,564 to be in a boy band.
- 00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:23,608 I'm 19. - Get a life, Marsh!
- 00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:25,485 Alright, guys, let's take it from the top.
- 00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:27,320 They said that after all the money we had made
- 00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:28,655 we were in debt to the studio.
- 00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:29,948 So they towed my car.
- 00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:30,949 See ya!
- 00:16:31,074 --> 00:16:31,950 The women all left.
- 00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:32,951 See ya!
- 00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:34,160 And they took back my house.
- 00:16:34,285 --> 00:16:35,787 See ya!
- 00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,622 The only thing I could do was come back to Colorado
- 00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:39,874 and face everyone that I had abandoned.
- 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,419 Hey, weren't you the guy in that stupid boy band,
- 00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:43,628 the Ghetto Avenue Boys?
- 00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:45,296 Sure, I remember you.
- 00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:47,257 ♪ You got it, baby ♪
- 00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:48,717 ♪ You got it going on ♪
- 00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:53,138 And so, you see, Stanley,
- 00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:55,807 I do know what I'm talking about.
- 00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:58,476 Jesus Christ. I never knew.
- 00:16:58,601 --> 00:17:01,563 I didn't want you to know, because now I'm a joke.
- 00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:04,691 Ever since then, I have wished every single day
- 00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:06,401 that I could go back to that moment
- 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,611 when I was offered the job and say, "no."
- 00:17:08,737 --> 00:17:10,238 Because all the fame, the money, the women,
- 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,198 all it did was build me up,
- 00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:13,241 so that I could be knocked down
- 00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,827 harder than anybody in the world.
- 00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:18,705 That's what being in a boy band is all about, Stanley.
- 00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:20,915 It's people smothering you and embracing you and loving you
- 00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:22,709 and then spitting you out and throwing you away
- 00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:24,127 like you were last night's pork chops.
- 00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:26,212 Now, we wander the Earth in disarray,
- 00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:28,131 us, New Kids on the block, the Osmonds,
- 00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:29,966 we're all the same.
- 00:17:30,091 --> 00:17:33,053 And that is why you can't go to the mall.
- 00:17:36,514 --> 00:17:38,016 Okay.
- 00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:42,937 Wow, there must be at least 20 people out there.
- 00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:44,355 Where the hell is Stan?
- 00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:45,857 He'll be here. Stan wouldn't douche.
- 00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:47,609 I swear to God, if he ruins this dream of mine,
- 00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,069 I will have his nuts!
- 00:17:49,194 --> 00:17:51,321 Hey, uh, are you gonna do that thing or what?
- 00:17:51,446 --> 00:17:52,739 Yes, yes, sir. Any second.
- 00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:54,532 We're just waiting on one more member.
- 00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:56,576 Well, hurry up, I can't keep the sausage and cheese cart
- 00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:58,161 off this spot much longer.
- 00:17:58,286 --> 00:17:59,662 Yeah, we'll start right away.
- 00:17:59,788 --> 00:18:01,414 We'll have to do it without him.
- 00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:03,083 Hell no, I'm not being part of a four member boy band!
- 00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:04,167 We'll look stupid. - Yeah!
- 00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:06,544 Oh, Goddamn it!
- 00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:15,970 Dad? - Huh, yeah?
- 00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:18,014 Well, I just wanted to tell you
- 00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:19,307 that I don't think you're a joke.
- 00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:20,683 I mean, whatever you used to be,
- 00:18:20,809 --> 00:18:22,143 you're just my dad
- 00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:25,855 and you're the best dad I've ever had.
- 00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:27,649 Come here, Stanley.
- 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,609 Stan, it was wrong of me to try and stop you
- 00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:31,653 from joining a boy band without explaining why.
- 00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,655 I made some mistakes in my life,
- 00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:36,116 and now I have to let you make your own mistakes.
- 00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:37,867 Yeah.
- 00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:39,410 You know, in a way, I think I was even jealous
- 00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:40,662 of you being in a boy band.
- 00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:42,455 Isn't that stupid? - Not really.
- 00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:44,332 Not any more stupid than some of the other stuff you've done.
- 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,126 Well, come on. I'll drive you down to the mall.
- 00:18:46,251 --> 00:18:47,377 Really? - Yeah.
- 00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:48,753 I want to see what you guys can do.
- 00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:49,879 And then we'll go buy you a small toy,
- 00:18:50,004 --> 00:18:51,297 so you can forget all about this.
- 00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:52,674 Alright!
- 00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:55,969 What's happening here?
- 00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:57,303 I don't know. I guess nothing.
- 00:18:57,428 --> 00:18:59,639 Hmm, well, let's walk away then.
- 00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:01,057 Goddamn it! People are walking away!
- 00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:02,976 Alright, kids, that does it.
- 00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:04,394 You're gonna have to move and make way
- 00:19:04,519 --> 00:19:05,687 for the sausage and cheese cart.
- 00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:06,688 Just another minute.
- 00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:10,191 Sorry, get out.
- 00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:12,443 Well, God, I guess you got me again didn't you.
- 00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:14,028 Yeah, that was a good one, God.
- 00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:15,947 Hope it made you laugh, you sick bastard.
- 00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:18,074 What's that?
- 00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:19,450 It's Stan!
- 00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:21,411 Oh, thank you, God! Oh, praise his name!
- 00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:22,996 Dude, where the hell have you been?
- 00:19:23,121 --> 00:19:24,455 Sir, we're all here now. Can we go on, please?
- 00:19:24,581 --> 00:19:25,915 Who?
- 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,417 Well, okay, I guess, but hurry up.
- 00:19:27,542 --> 00:19:29,043 We will.
- 00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:30,837 Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to witness
- 00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:32,755 the next great boy band of the country.
- 00:19:32,881 --> 00:19:35,091 Some day you will all be among those who can say,
- 00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:36,801 "I saw <i>Fingerbang</i> when they first performed
- 00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:39,053 at some crappy little mall."
- 00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:40,555 And so without further ado
- 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,850 all five members of the--
- 00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:45,435 oh, my God, they killed Kenny!
- 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:46,769 You bastards!
- 00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:48,563 No, he can't be dead.
- 00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,064 Dude, he's pretty dead.
- 00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:52,066 No, we were so close!
- 00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:54,027 Alright, that's it, kids. Get out!
- 00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:55,361 But, we have to perform.
- 00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:57,030 We don't have a fifth member, Cartman.
- 00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:59,073 Oh, yes, we do.
- 00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:00,533 Thank you all for your patience
- 00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:02,493 and get ready for <i>Fingerbang</i>!
- 00:20:02,619 --> 00:20:04,245 ♪ Fingerbang ♪
- 00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:05,622 ♪ Bang bang ♪
- 00:20:05,747 --> 00:20:07,498 ♪ Fingerbang bang ♪
- 00:20:07,624 --> 00:20:09,292 ♪ Bang bang bang ♪
- 00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:12,503 ♪ I'm gonna fingerbang bang you into my life ♪
- 00:20:12,629 --> 00:20:15,840 ♪ Girl, you like to fingerbang and it's alright ♪
- 00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:17,634 ♪ Because I'm the king of fingerbang ♪
- 00:20:17,759 --> 00:20:19,135 ♪ Let's not fight ♪
- 00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:23,097 ♪ I'll just fingerbang bang you every night ♪
- 00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:26,100 ♪ I'll just fingerbang bang you every night ♪
- 00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:27,143 Cha!
- 00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:32,899 Yes, yes! Thank you, yes!
- 00:20:35,944 --> 00:20:37,320 We made $2.
- 00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:38,696 You were great, Dad.
- 00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:40,240 Yeah, I guess I still got it in me a little.
- 00:20:40,365 --> 00:20:41,783 Can I get your autograph?
- 00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:43,284 Okay, okay.
- 00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,328 Hey, don't hassle the talent, ma'am.
- 00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:47,205 I actually don't really know who they are.
- 00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:48,373 I was just getting an autograph--
- 00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:50,208 Ah!
- 00:20:50,333 --> 00:20:51,668 Move along, ma'am.
- 00:20:51,793 --> 00:20:53,294 That was pretty good, kids.
- 00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:56,297 Maybe you can come perform at my Elk's Club sometime.
- 00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:58,132 Okay, yeah, maybe.
- 00:20:58,258 --> 00:21:00,176 God, now it's like everybody wants a piece of us.
- 00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:01,928 Yeah.
- 00:21:02,053 --> 00:21:03,346 I don't know if I can handle all this fame.
- 00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:05,473 I mean, I always thought I'd want to be famous,
- 00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:08,184 but now that I am, I don't know if I like it.
- 00:21:08,309 --> 00:21:09,936 I mean, I probably can't even walk through this mall
- 00:21:10,061 --> 00:21:11,229 right now without people going
- 00:21:11,354 --> 00:21:12,522 "oh, my God, it's the <i>Fingerbang</i> guy!
- 00:21:12,647 --> 00:21:13,773 Oh, my God!"
- 00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:15,233 Yeah, that's gonna suck.
- 00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:17,068 Yeah, I just want to be a normal kid again,
- 00:21:17,193 --> 00:21:19,112 have a normal life, and appreciate what I have.
- 00:21:19,237 --> 00:21:21,823 I think you boys are very smart for your age.
- 00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:23,908 Come on, I'll buy you all an orange smoothie.
- 00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:25,368 I don't think they sell those anymore.
- 00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:27,537 Hey, Cartman, do you think God is going to be mad at you
- 00:21:27,662 --> 00:21:28,830 for not making $10 million?
- 00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:29,998 Oh, screw God. I'm not scared of him.
- 00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:32,000 He's a pussy.
- 00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:33,251 You know I'm just kidding, right?
- 00:00:08,759 --> 00:00:09,885 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:10,011 --> 00:00:11,846 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:11,971 --> 00:00:13,681 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:15,141 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,266 --> 00:00:16,475 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,519 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:20,229 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,897 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
- 00:00:22,023 --> 00:00:23,232 ♪ Headin' on up to South Park ♪
- 00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:24,984 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,109 --> 00:00:28,362 ♪ [muffled] ♪
- 00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:29,780 ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:31,907 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:34,368 Tonight Stellar Productions presents
- 00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:36,912 the boy band of the decade
- 00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:40,708 it's <i>Fingerbang</i> live from Madison Square Gardens!
- 00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:43,461 [crowd cheering]
- 00:00:48,174 --> 00:00:49,759 [all] ♪ Fingerbang ♪
- 00:00:49,884 --> 00:00:51,177 ♪ Bang, bang ♪
- 00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:52,928 ♪ Fingerbang bang, bang ♪
- 00:00:53,054 --> 00:00:54,430 ♪ Bang, bang, bang ♪
- 00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:58,017 ♪ I'm going fingerbang bang you into my life ♪
- 00:00:58,142 --> 00:01:01,562 ♪ Girl you like to fingerbang and it's alright ♪
- 00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:04,607 ♪ Because I'm the king of fingerbang let's not fight ♪
- 00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:09,445 ♪ I'm gonna fingerbang bang you every night ♪
- 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:13,365 ♪ And girl you know that you're the only girl for me ♪
- 00:01:13,491 --> 00:01:16,786 ♪ Girl, girl you're the girl of my fantasies ♪
- 00:01:16,911 --> 00:01:18,370 Cartman, I want you!
- 00:01:18,496 --> 00:01:22,124 ♪ You're my girl ♪
- 00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:23,793 All: ♪ Fingerbang bang ♪
- 00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:25,961 ♪ Bang, bang, bang ♪
- 00:01:26,087 --> 00:01:27,963 ♪ Fingerbang bang ♪
- 00:01:28,089 --> 00:01:29,215 ♪ Bang, bang, bang ♪
- 00:01:29,340 --> 00:01:31,008 ♪ I'm gonna fingerbang bang ♪
- 00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:34,845 Yes, yes, yes, I'm a star.
- 00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:35,888 I'm a star!
- 00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,681 I'm--
- 00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:40,768 Oh, I'm nobody, goddamn it!
- 00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:43,521 Wait a minute, maybe that was a sign from God.
- 00:01:43,646 --> 00:01:44,730 That's it, isn't it.
- 00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:46,023 You want me to start a boy band,
- 00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:47,608 so I can make $10 million, don't you?
- 00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:50,528 That's it!
- 00:01:50,653 --> 00:01:52,446 Gentlemen, thank you for coming.
- 00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:54,490 This is the beginning of a great time in our lives.
- 00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:56,826 God has finally spoken to me, guys,
- 00:01:56,951 --> 00:01:59,912 and he has told me how I can make $10 million.
- 00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:01,330 How? - Boy band.
- 00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:02,832 Boy band? - Boy band.
- 00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:04,625 I'm not being in a faggy boy band.
- 00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:06,794 There's nothing faggy about $10 million, asshole!
- 00:02:06,919 --> 00:02:08,254 This was a message from God!
- 00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:10,005 Dude, we don't have any musical talent.
- 00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:12,049 That didn't stop any of the other boy bands, dumbass!
- 00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:14,260 I've got prerecorded music we can sing to, just like they do.
- 00:02:14,385 --> 00:02:16,011 All we need to do is practice our choreography
- 00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:17,596 over and over and over.
- 00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:18,889 [muffled]
- 00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:20,599 Shut up, Kenny.
- 00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,518 And then I know I can get us a gig at the South Park Mall.
- 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,145 So everybody get in a straight line,
- 00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:25,813 we're going to listen to the song from the top and--
- 00:02:25,938 --> 00:02:27,523 Wait a minute, there's only four of us.
- 00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:28,524 So? - So all boy bands
- 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,109 have five members. - What?
- 00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:31,610 N'sync, Backstreet Boys, New Kids on the Block,
- 00:02:31,735 --> 00:02:32,695 all had five members.
- 00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:33,654 He's right. - Damn it!
- 00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:34,864 Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
- 00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:36,157 We'll put off songs for now
- 00:02:36,282 --> 00:02:37,783 and hold auditions for a fifth member.
- 00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:41,162 Get the word out that auditions will be tomorrow morning.
- 00:02:41,287 --> 00:02:43,622 Did you have fun at Eric's house today, Stanley?
- 00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:45,332 I guess. - What did you do?
- 00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:46,917 Well, Cartman wants to start a boy band,
- 00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,836 so we're going to rehearse and then try to perform
- 00:02:48,961 --> 00:02:49,837 at the South Park Mall.
- 00:02:49,962 --> 00:02:50,838 Oh, that sounds nice.
- 00:02:50,963 --> 00:02:52,506 No, it does not sound nice.
- 00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:54,508 Stanley, you are going to have no part of that boy band.
- 00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:56,218 Well, but, Dad, all my friends are doing it.
- 00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:57,678 If all your friends jumped off a cliff,
- 00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,013 would you do that too?
- 00:02:59,138 --> 00:03:00,514 Cartman says we can make $10 million.
- 00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:02,266 You are not going to be in a boy band, Stanley,
- 00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:04,852 and that is final!
- 00:03:04,977 --> 00:03:07,563 Geez, what's up Dad's ass?
- 00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:11,567 ♪ Little bunny foo-foo hopping through the forest ♪
- 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,527 ♪ Scoopin' up the field mice and bopping 'em on the head ♪
- 00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:15,821 Down came the white angel and she said,
- 00:03:15,946 --> 00:03:17,698 ♪ Little bunny foo-foo I don't want to see you ♪
- 00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:19,950 ♪ Scoopin' up the field mice and bopping 'em on the head ♪
- 00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:21,994 ♪ So now I'm going to turn you into a worm, ♪
- 00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:24,163 ♪ bu-bunny foo-foo, poof! ♪
- 00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:26,248 ♪ Little wormy foo-foo crawling through the forest ♪
- 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:27,666 ♪ Gettin' scooped up by the field mice ♪
- 00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:30,169 ♪ And g-gonna bop him on the head ♪
- 00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:31,879 Ah, thank you, Butters. We'll let you know.
- 00:03:32,004 --> 00:03:32,963 I can do it again.
- 00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:34,089 We'll let you know, Butters.
- 00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:34,840 Well, alright then.
- 00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:38,510 Pff, oh my God, his intonation was so off!
- 00:03:38,844 --> 00:03:39,595 It was?
- 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,472 Dude, I don't think I can sing any better than that.
- 00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:43,349 Guys, if we're going to impress the mall owner
- 00:03:43,474 --> 00:03:44,934 and get that gig, we better do it better than that.
- 00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:46,518 Next!
- 00:03:46,644 --> 00:03:48,145 Ah, next is Ike Brovlofsky. Kyle's brother?
- 00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:49,563 I promised my mom I'd let him try.
- 00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:50,981 Christ sake. What key?
- 00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:53,609 "G".
- 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:57,905 ♪ Itsy-bitsy spider up the water spout ♪
- 00:03:58,030 --> 00:03:59,865 Next!
- 00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:03,577 ♪ Oh, Danny boy, the pipes are calling ♪
- 00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:05,704 ♪ Clang, clangy, clang ♪
- 00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,498 Next audition!
- 00:04:07,623 --> 00:04:12,419 ♪ E-f-g-h-l-j-k-l-m-n-p ♪
- 00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:13,796 Goddamn it, next!
- 00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:19,885 ♪ G-u-b, when the teacher wanna punch me ♪
- 00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:22,263 Not the next song, the next person!
- 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:31,397 Oh, man, this is gonna be a long-ass day.
- 00:04:31,522 --> 00:04:32,898 Oh, no! No, no, no, no!
- 00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:35,276 Sorry, Wendy, this is try-outs for a boy band.
- 00:04:35,401 --> 00:04:36,652 Oh, come on, dude. Let her try.
- 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:37,736 No way! - Come on, Cartman.
- 00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:39,113 You haven't liked anybody else.
- 00:04:39,238 --> 00:04:40,114 Okay, okay, fine.
- 00:04:40,239 --> 00:04:42,658 Wow me!
- 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:46,954 ♪ Mrs. Landers was a health nut, she cooked food in a wok ♪
- 00:04:47,079 --> 00:04:49,206 ♪ Mr. Harris was her boyfriend and he had a great big ♪
- 00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:51,750 ♪ Cock-a-doodle-doodle, the rooster just won't quit ♪
- 00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:54,086 ♪ And I don't want my breakfast because it taste like ♪
- 00:04:54,211 --> 00:04:56,588 ♪ Shih tzus make good house pets they're cuddly and sweet ♪
- 00:04:56,714 --> 00:04:59,049 ♪ Monkeys aren't good to have 'cause they like to beat their ♪
- 00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:01,468 ♪ Meeting in the office a meeting in the hall ♪
- 00:05:01,593 --> 00:05:03,846 ♪ The boss he wants to see you so you can suck his ♪
- 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:06,682 ♪ Balzac was a writer, he lived with Allen Funt ♪
- 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,767 ♪ Mrs. Roberts didn't like him but that's because she's a ♪
- 00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:11,687 ♪ Contaminated water can really make you sick ♪
- 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,939 ♪ Your bladder gets infected and blood comes out your ♪
- 00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:16,525 ♪ Dictate what I'm saying 'cause it will bring you luck ♪
- 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:19,403 ♪ And if you all don't like it I don't give a flying fuck ♪
- 00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:21,447 [clapping]
- 00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:24,033 Thanks, Wendy, don't call us. We won't call you either.
- 00:05:24,158 --> 00:05:25,284 Dude, what are you talking about?
- 00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:26,535 That was awesome!
- 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:27,870 Dude, she's a chick!
- 00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:28,996 Come on, nobody's going to notice.
- 00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:30,456 Nobody's gonna notice?
- 00:05:30,581 --> 00:05:32,166 What about her huge freakin' hooters, huh?
- 00:05:32,291 --> 00:05:33,667 She's the best chance we have. I say she's in.
- 00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:34,960 Me too. - Me too.
- 00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:36,670 Oh, this is a democratic boy band, is it?
- 00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:38,172 Alright, fine. She's in until she screws up.
- 00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:39,423 Yeah!
- 00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:40,758 [rooster crowing]
- 00:05:40,883 --> 00:05:42,343 Okay, you guys all ready to rehearse?
- 00:05:42,468 --> 00:05:43,886 Cartman, it's 6:00 in the morning.
- 00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,054 Do we have to rehearse this early?
- 00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:46,597 We have to rehearse all that we can.
- 00:05:46,722 --> 00:05:48,307 Now, check this out. My mom made us costumes.
- 00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:49,308 Costumes?
- 00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:50,726 Yeah, this one's yours, Stan.
- 00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,019 This one is Kyle's.
- 00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:53,645 This one will cover-up Wendy's hooters.
- 00:05:53,771 --> 00:05:55,439 Hey Cartman, how come your costume has, like,
- 00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:56,940 nose-rings and facial hair?
- 00:05:57,066 --> 00:05:58,400 'Cause I'm, like, you know, the tough one.
- 00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,277 Every boy band has to have the one member that's,
- 00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:01,362 you know, is tough.
- 00:06:01,487 --> 00:06:02,363 I want to be the tough one.
- 00:06:02,488 --> 00:06:04,573 Kyle, you are the sweet one.
- 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,033 Will you please just cooperate and not--
- 00:06:06,158 --> 00:06:07,743 I wanna be the tough one.
- 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,787 You can't be the tough one because you're Jewish!
- 00:06:09,912 --> 00:06:11,246 Jews are tough! - Since when?
- 00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:12,539 Since Abraham, fatass!
- 00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:14,875 Alright, fine, here.
- 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,335 Jesus Christ, I wonder if every boy band
- 00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:17,586 had to go through this.
- 00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:22,591 Hey Cartman, what does fingerbang mean anyways?
- 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,343 I heard it on HBO.
- 00:06:24,468 --> 00:06:26,553 It means like, you know, when you pretend to use your finger
- 00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:27,304 like a gun or something.
- 00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:29,014 [muffled]
- 00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:30,349 Kenny says, "that's not what it means."
- 00:06:30,474 --> 00:06:32,142 Okay, Kenny, what does fingerbang mean then?
- 00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:34,937 [muffled]
- 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,147 What? Who the hell would do that!
- 00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:39,024 Jesus Christ, grow up, Kenny, would you?
- 00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:40,526 Alright, boys, let's do it from the top.
- 00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:44,321 One, two, three, four.
- 00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:46,615 Now, I know that this is your first day on the job
- 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,492 of mall security, rookie.
- 00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:51,662 Keeping the law in the mall is just like any tough city,
- 00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:54,498 and especially because they don't let us have guns,
- 00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:56,166 it can be very dangerous.
- 00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:57,960 Alright, guys, just do it like we rehearsed.
- 00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,545 We need energy. We need to be up.
- 00:06:59,670 --> 00:07:01,922 Excuse me, just where do you think you're going?
- 00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:03,257 We're going to see the mall manager.
- 00:07:03,382 --> 00:07:05,134 Do you have the proper clearance?
- 00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:06,510 Uh-oh, mall cops.
- 00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:08,554 You have to make an appointment first.
- 00:07:08,679 --> 00:07:10,305 Now move along, sir.
- 00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:11,765 But we practiced for days!
- 00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:13,851 All we want to do is show the guy what we can do,
- 00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:15,436 so that maybe we'll have a chance to perform
- 00:07:15,561 --> 00:07:16,645 in the plaza of the--
- 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,480 ah, ah, ah!
- 00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:19,815 Ah, oh, Goddamn it!
- 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,024 Jesus Christ, dude!
- 00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:22,609 Oh, God, I can't see!
- 00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:26,697 Move along, sir, or I'll do it again.
- 00:07:26,822 --> 00:07:29,533 You see, you put your life on the line every day.
- 00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:31,618 Well, I guess we can't get in to see the mall manager.
- 00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,537 The hell we can't!
- 00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:35,080 I'm not letting no washed-up mall cops
- 00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:36,915 ruin my divine quest. Come on!
- 00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:45,757 Hey!
- 00:07:45,883 --> 00:07:47,676 What are you doing?
- 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,846 Nothing, just shopping.
- 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:53,307 Move along, sir.
- 00:07:53,432 --> 00:07:55,476 You see, sometimes you gotta just do that.
- 00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:58,854 Keep shoppers on their toes. Try it.
- 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,189 Hey!
- 00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:01,732 What are you doin'?
- 00:08:01,857 --> 00:08:03,650 Nothing, why?
- 00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:06,069 Move along, ma'am.
- 00:08:06,195 --> 00:08:08,655 That's what being a mall cop is all about, yeah.
- 00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,240 Cool.
- 00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:12,242 [Cartman over intercom] Attention, mall shoppers,
- 00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:13,869 the next 20 people to buy an orange smoothie
- 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,079 will also receive a complimentary Nissan Sentra.
- 00:08:16,205 --> 00:08:17,080 Hurry up.
- 00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:18,582 [shouting]
- 00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:21,168 Jesus, they're gonna start a riot!
- 00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:22,669 Alright, guys, here we go.
- 00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:24,213 Hello, sir! - What?
- 00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:25,672 Hey, who are you?
- 00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:27,132 We are <i>Fingerbang.</i>
- 00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:29,426 Oh, what?
- 00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:31,303 How'd you get in here? Hey!
- 00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:32,804 We would like to audition for you
- 00:08:32,930 --> 00:08:34,473 for a gig in the central plaza of your fine mall.
- 00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:36,183 What? Oh.
- 00:08:36,308 --> 00:08:37,309 You want to play at the mall?
- 00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:38,894 Like Tiffany?
- 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,896 Sort of like Tiffany, yes. Can we audition?
- 00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,899 Oh, well, I guess. What?
- 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:47,986 Alright, let's do it boys!
- 00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:51,615 All: ♪ Gonna fingerbang bang you into my life ♪
- 00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:55,118 ♪ Girl, you like to fingerbang and that's alright ♪
- 00:08:55,244 --> 00:08:59,540 ♪ Gonna fingerbang bang you every night ♪
- 00:08:59,665 --> 00:09:01,917 ♪ And, girl, you know, you, girl, you, girl ♪
- 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,585 ♪ You're the girl of my dreams ♪
- 00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,546 ♪ You, girl, you, girl, you're the girl of my dreams ♪
- 00:09:05,671 --> 00:09:06,964 Okay, that's enough!
- 00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:08,215 ♪ You're my fantasy, my fantasy- ♪
- 00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:09,299 Thank you! So can we play here?
- 00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:10,592 What? No.
- 00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:11,802 No? - Who?
- 00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:13,136 No. - Why not?
- 00:09:13,262 --> 00:09:15,180 Well, uh, uh, oh...
- 00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:18,058 Right now there's a cheese and sausage cart in the plaza,
- 00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:20,435 and I would--I'd hate to have to move it
- 00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,020 off to the side for a while.
- 00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:23,480 What?
- 00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:24,773 You don't think we're any good, do you?
- 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,316 No, I mean, just not quite as good
- 00:09:26,441 --> 00:09:27,859 as sausage and cheese.
- 00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:30,904 Well, come on, guys. We gave it our best.
- 00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:34,491 Wow, that was your best?
- 00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:36,076 Wow, I feel so rejected.
- 00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:37,619 Yeah. There you are!
- 00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,246 You're the hoodlums who got on the intercom
- 00:09:39,371 --> 00:09:40,998 and started an orange smoothie riot!
- 00:09:41,123 --> 00:09:42,332 Uh-oh.
- 00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:43,792 I will now read you your mall rights.
- 00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:46,128 You have the right to shop at a variety of malls--
- 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,129 Run for it!
- 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,213 Go get 'em, rookie!
- 00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,844 Where is Stan?
- 00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:56,054 Oh, he's over at Eric's house practicing for his boy band.
- 00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:57,806 What, I specifically told him not to do that!
- 00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:00,142 Now, Randy, calm down. It's just a silly little dream.
- 00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:01,685 They're not gonna actually make it.
- 00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:03,103 And what if they do make it, Sharon?
- 00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:04,438 What if they do make it?
- 00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:06,064 Are you going to be the one to tell him?
- 00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:08,317 Mom, what's up Dad's ass?
- 00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:09,651 It's a long story, Shelly.
- 00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:11,236 Let's just say your father...
- 00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:12,654 Has a lot up his ass right now.
- 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,489 [doorbell rings]
- 00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:16,408 Oh, oh, hello, Eric.
- 00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:18,952 Problem, Chef. I have many problems.
- 00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:21,997 Well, if you, uh, come back in just a little bit, Eric,
- 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,498 I'll see if I can help you out.
- 00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:25,042 Just don't know what I'm going to do.
- 00:10:25,167 --> 00:10:27,002 Sometimes I just wonder if God is just toying with me.
- 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,004 Alright, Eric, what's the matter?
- 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,505 Chef, God told me I was to start a boy band
- 00:10:30,631 --> 00:10:31,798 and make $10 million.
- 00:10:31,923 --> 00:10:33,008 The problem is it isn't working.
- 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:36,094 I mean, I feel the music burning inside me,
- 00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:37,804 but I just can't express it right, you know?
- 00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:39,348 Well, Eric, I think you're just
- 00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:40,891 focusing in on the wrong thing.
- 00:10:41,016 --> 00:10:42,809 Boy bands aren't about music.
- 00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:46,021 Boy bands are created by corporations to make money,
- 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,648 they're all based on the Garmlich effect.
- 00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:49,066 What's the Garmlich effect?
- 00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:50,525 The law of physics that states
- 00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:52,194 if one girl screams for something,
- 00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:53,654 it will make other girls scream
- 00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:55,947 and then it grows exponentiously
- 00:10:56,073 --> 00:10:58,742 until all girls within a five-mile radius are screaming.
- 00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:00,285 So how do boy bands use that?
- 00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:02,871 All they do is make videos showing tons and tons
- 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,873 of girls screaming for the boy bands.
- 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:07,501 Once you get girls screaming, you can't stop 'em.
- 00:11:07,626 --> 00:11:08,835 They're crazy.
- 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,212 Except for Lillith, of course.
- 00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:11,588 Thanks. - You're welcome.
- 00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:13,965 Now go away. - Okay!
- 00:11:14,091 --> 00:11:16,301 And a cucumber in the pants never hurt either.
- 00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:19,429 Cucumber in the pants. Got it!
- 00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:20,806 Alright everybody, listen up.
- 00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:22,307 This is how this first shot is gonna work.
- 00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:23,850 The girls are standing here,
- 00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:25,769 and then the members of the band walk by looking cool.
- 00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:27,354 When you see us, you girls all scream like,
- 00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:28,939 "Oh, my God, it's <i>Fingerbang</i>! Oh, my God!"
- 00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:30,273 Okay?
- 00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:31,692 Are we going to get paid now or after?
- 00:11:31,817 --> 00:11:32,984 I'll pay you afterwards, promise.
- 00:11:33,110 --> 00:11:34,486 Okay, Timmy, roll camera! - Timmy!
- 00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:35,987 Dude, what's wrong with your leg?
- 00:11:36,113 --> 00:11:37,614 Huh, oh Chef said to put a cucumber down my pants
- 00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:39,282 for good luck.
- 00:11:39,408 --> 00:11:41,201 All: Ya! Whoo-whoo!
- 00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:43,120 Wait, wait, wait, wait, cut! - Ha-ha!
- 00:11:43,245 --> 00:11:44,579 You have to go crazier than that.
- 00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:45,956 I mean, you have to act like it's freakin'
- 00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:47,124 Leonardo DiCaprio.
- 00:11:47,249 --> 00:11:48,458 We wouldn't give a rat's ass
- 00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:49,876 if Leonardo DiCaprio came walking passed us.
- 00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:51,128 All: Yeah!
- 00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:52,587 Fine, who would you go crazy for?
- 00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:55,132 [all] Matt Lauer.
- 00:11:55,257 --> 00:11:56,842 Okay, fine. Pretend that we're Matt Lauer.
- 00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,427 Oh, okay! - Okay, roll camera.
- 00:11:58,552 --> 00:12:00,762 Timmy!
- 00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,931 All: [scream loudly]
- 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,142 Jesus Christ!
- 00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:07,602 All: ♪ Fingerbang bang you every night ♪
- 00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:08,937 And cut!
- 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,772 Alright, our video's complete. - Timmy!
- 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,441 With the grace of God, I can now go back
- 00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:14,067 to that mall manager and show him what we've got!
- 00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:15,193 Okay, so where's our money?
- 00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:16,862 Oh, uh, Kyle has it.
- 00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:18,780 Stanley, what the hell are you doing?
- 00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:19,865 We are making a music video.
- 00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:21,700 You get in the truck right now!
- 00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:24,453 Dad I was just-- - Get in the truck!
- 00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:25,537 Dad, I did all my chores.
- 00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:27,205 Why can't I play with my friends?
- 00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:28,832 Stanley, it's just that there's better things
- 00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:31,042 you can be doing on a Saturday than singing and dancing.
- 00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:33,336 You could be watching TV or laying in bed.
- 00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:34,713 Dad, I like being in a boy band.
- 00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:36,506 I think it's interesting.
- 00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:38,633 Well, there's plenty of other interesting things you can do.
- 00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:39,926 Have you ever tried marijuana? - No!
- 00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:41,803 Well, maybe it's time. - Dad!
- 00:12:44,306 --> 00:12:45,515 Hey!
- 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:46,850 What are you doing?
- 00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,602 I've got a new strain of anthrax
- 00:12:48,727 --> 00:12:51,646 that I will see unleash upon all of North America.
- 00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:54,024 Move along, sir. - Huh?
- 00:12:54,149 --> 00:12:55,942 [Cartman over intercom] Attention, shoppers,
- 00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,903 there are naked people at the orange smoothie machine.
- 00:12:58,028 --> 00:12:59,362 There are naked people at the orange--
- 00:12:59,488 --> 00:13:00,947 Goddamn it!
- 00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:01,948 Hello again.
- 00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:03,450 What? Oh, it's you.
- 00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:05,076 I don't like you.
- 00:13:05,202 --> 00:13:06,244 I know you didn't love our audition,
- 00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:07,412 but now we have a video.
- 00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:08,830 Oh. What?
- 00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,332 If you would, sir, just watch this
- 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,083 and prepare to be wowed.
- 00:13:12,209 --> 00:13:12,709 ♪♪
- 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,632 Timmy!
- 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,010 Oh, Goddamn it.
- 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,303 Our camera guy kinda sucks,
- 00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:27,057 but this next shot we did was really cool.
- 00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:30,060 Ah!
- 00:13:30,185 --> 00:13:31,728 Timmy! Livin' a lie!
- 00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:32,896 Son of a bitch!
- 00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,981 Hey, this video's dumb.
- 00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:36,191 You don't understand.
- 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,692 Girls were going crazy for us, please!
- 00:13:37,818 --> 00:13:39,820 This is what God wants me to do, please!
- 00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:41,780 Alright, alright. - What?
- 00:13:41,905 --> 00:13:44,115 Well, I guess I can move the sausage and cheese cart
- 00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:46,493 off to one side for a little while.
- 00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:47,661 Really, you will?
- 00:13:47,786 --> 00:13:48,912 Only for 20 minutes, though.
- 00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:49,955 That's all we need.
- 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,331 How about this afternoon at 3:00?
- 00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:53,416 Oh, okay.
- 00:13:53,542 --> 00:13:55,877 Yes, thank you, sir. You will not be disappointed.
- 00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:59,005 Oh, Mrs. Cartman, I've been very bad, okay.
- 00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:00,882 You have been bad, Mr. Mackey,
- 00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,051 so you're going to have to drink from this glass.
- 00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,095 Oh, yeah, that makes me hot.
- 00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:06,888 Oh, Mom! - Wow! What?
- 00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:14,437 It's not fair, dad. Why can't I be in a boy band?
- 00:14:14,563 --> 00:14:16,189 Because I said so!
- 00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:18,316 Dad, Cartman said we're going to perform in the mall at 3:00.
- 00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:20,110 My friends are going to be pissed off at me.
- 00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:22,028 Let 'em be pissed off then. I don't understand.
- 00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:23,697 Just let me let me go do this one thing and I won't--
- 00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:25,073 No! No!
- 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,867 [glass shattering]
- 00:14:32,122 --> 00:14:35,083 Dad, what the hell is going on?
- 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,668 I was...
- 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,753 I was 18 when my high school men's choir
- 00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:40,046 performed at the grand opening
- 00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:41,923 of a sporting goods store in Denver.
- 00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:45,176 All: ♪ Everything will wait ♪
- 00:14:45,302 --> 00:14:48,471 ♪ Weep all ye little rains... ♪
- 00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:51,141 I was just one of 15 members and I had no idea
- 00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:52,559 that a record producer was in the audience.
- 00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:55,478 ♪ Colorado trail ♪
- 00:14:55,604 --> 00:14:58,064 [clapping]
- 00:14:58,189 --> 00:14:59,316 Kid, can I talk to you? - Sure.
- 00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:00,984 You were really great up there.
- 00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:03,153 Too good for a pissant choir in a pissant mountain town.
- 00:15:03,278 --> 00:15:04,654 Oh, thanks.
- 00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:06,281 Listen, I'm putting together a rock group,
- 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,241 a vocal group called the Ghetto Avenue Boys.
- 00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:10,327 I think you would make a perfect member.
- 00:15:10,452 --> 00:15:12,287 What, me? You like my singing that much?
- 00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,623 Yeah, I think your mustache is perfect.
- 00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:15,957 How would you like to come to New York
- 00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,208 and start a singing career?
- 00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,877 Oh my God, I don't know.
- 00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:20,879 I mean, I still have another year of high school and I--
- 00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:22,923 hey, look, if you don't want it, I'll keep looking.
- 00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:24,424 No, wait. I mean... I'll think about it.
- 00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:27,218 I take it that means yes. Call me in the morning.
- 00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:28,970 And just like that, I left everything.
- 00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,305 I dropped out of high school.
- 00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,681 See ya!
- 00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:32,724 I said good-bye to my girlfriend.
- 00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:33,725 See ya!
- 00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,101 And I left my family.
- 00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:36,895 See ya!
- 00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:38,480 And suddenly there I was,
- 00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,190 thrown into a group with four other young men
- 00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:41,316 who I didn't even know.
- 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,026 Take 112.
- 00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:44,778 All: ♪ You've got it ♪
- 00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:47,072 ♪ You know you've got it ♪ ♪ Girl ♪
- 00:15:47,197 --> 00:15:48,239 All: ♪ What you've got is it ♪
- 00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:49,616 The songs were terrible,
- 00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:51,284 but believe it or not the country ate them up.
- 00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:52,619 The next thing I knew,
- 00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:54,621 we were the biggest thing in the world.
- 00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:56,206 All: ♪ What you've got is it ♪
- 00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:58,500 ♪ Now, give it to me 'cause ♪
- 00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,043 I had everything, a huge house
- 00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:02,295 and all the women you can imagine.
- 00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:04,547 And then one day, just as quick as it started...
- 00:16:04,673 --> 00:16:06,341 Alright, guys, let's take it from the top.
- 00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:07,384 Hey, Mr. Allens.
- 00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:08,385 Hey, oh...
- 00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:09,761 Uh, Randy.
- 00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:11,721 Who are they?
- 00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:13,473 These are the Avenue Ghetto Street Boys.
- 00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:15,517 My new boy band.
- 00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:17,727 But, we're still selling records right?
- 00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:20,271 Look, kid, you're just getting a little old
- 00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:21,564 to be in a boy band.
- 00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:23,608 I'm 19. - Get a life, Marsh!
- 00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:25,485 Alright, guys, let's take it from the top.
- 00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:27,320 They said that after all the money we had made
- 00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:28,655 we were in debt to the studio.
- 00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:29,948 So they towed my car.
- 00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:30,949 See ya!
- 00:16:31,074 --> 00:16:31,950 The women all left.
- 00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:32,951 All: See ya!
- 00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:34,160 And they took back my house.
- 00:16:34,285 --> 00:16:35,787 See ya!
- 00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,622 The only thing I could do was come back to Colorado
- 00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:39,874 and face everyone that I had abandoned.
- 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,419 Hey, weren't you the guy in that stupid boy band,
- 00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:43,628 the Ghetto Avenue Boys?
- 00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:45,296 Sure, I remember you.
- 00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:47,257 ♪ You got it, baby ♪
- 00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:48,717 ♪ You got it going on ♪
- 00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:51,803 [laughter]
- 00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:53,138 And so, you see, Stanley,
- 00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:55,807 I do know what I'm talking about.
- 00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:58,476 Jesus Christ. I never knew.
- 00:16:58,601 --> 00:17:01,563 I didn't want you to know, because now I'm a joke.
- 00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:04,691 Ever since then, I have wished every single day
- 00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:06,401 that I could go back to that moment
- 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,611 when I was offered the job and say, "no."
- 00:17:08,737 --> 00:17:10,238 Because all the fame, the money, the women,
- 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,198 all it did was build me up,
- 00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:13,241 so that I could be knocked down
- 00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,827 harder than anybody in the world.
- 00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:18,705 That's what being in a boy band is all about, Stanley.
- 00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:20,915 It's people smothering you and embracing you and loving you
- 00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:22,709 and then spitting you out and throwing you away
- 00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:24,127 like you were last night's pork chops.
- 00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:26,212 Now, we wander the Earth in disarray,
- 00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:28,131 us, New Kids on the block, the Osmonds,
- 00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:29,966 we're all the same.
- 00:17:30,091 --> 00:17:33,053 And that is why you can't go to the mall.
- 00:17:36,514 --> 00:17:38,016 Okay.
- 00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:42,937 Wow, there must be at least 20 people out there.
- 00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:44,355 Where the hell is Stan?
- 00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:45,857 He'll be here. Stan wouldn't douche.
- 00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:47,609 I swear to God, if he ruins this dream of mine,
- 00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,069 I will have his nuts!
- 00:17:49,194 --> 00:17:51,321 Hey, uh, are you gonna do that thing or what?
- 00:17:51,446 --> 00:17:52,739 Yes, yes, sir. Any second.
- 00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:54,532 We're just waiting on one more member.
- 00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:56,576 Well, hurry up, I can't keep the sausage and cheese cart
- 00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:58,161 off this spot much longer.
- 00:17:58,286 --> 00:17:59,662 Yeah, we'll start right away.
- 00:17:59,788 --> 00:18:01,414 We'll have to do it without him.
- 00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:03,083 Hell no, I'm not being part of a four member boy band!
- 00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:04,167 We'll look stupid. - Yeah!
- 00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:06,544 Oh, Goddamn it!
- 00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:15,970 Dad? - Huh, yeah?
- 00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:18,014 Well, I just wanted to tell you
- 00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:19,307 that I don't think you're a joke.
- 00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:20,683 I mean, whatever you used to be,
- 00:18:20,809 --> 00:18:22,143 you're just my dad
- 00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:25,855 and you're the best dad I've ever had.
- 00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:27,649 Come here, Stanley.
- 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,609 Stan, it was wrong of me to try and stop you
- 00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:31,653 from joining a boy band without explaining why.
- 00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,655 I made some mistakes in my life,
- 00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:36,116 and now I have to let you make your own mistakes.
- 00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:37,867 Yeah.
- 00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:39,410 You know, in a way, I think I was even jealous
- 00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:40,662 of you being in a boy band.
- 00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:42,455 Isn't that stupid? - Not really.
- 00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:44,332 Not any more stupid than some of the other stuff you've done.
- 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,126 Well, come on. I'll drive you down to the mall.
- 00:18:46,251 --> 00:18:47,377 Really? - Yeah.
- 00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:48,753 I want to see what you guys can do.
- 00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:49,879 And then we'll go buy you a small toy,
- 00:18:50,004 --> 00:18:51,297 so you can forget all about this.
- 00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:52,674 Alright!
- 00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:55,969 What's happening here?
- 00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:57,303 I don't know. I guess nothing.
- 00:18:57,428 --> 00:18:59,639 Hmm, well, let's walk away then.
- 00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:01,057 Goddamn it! People are walking away!
- 00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:02,976 Alright, kids, that does it.
- 00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:04,394 You're gonna have to move and make way
- 00:19:04,519 --> 00:19:05,687 for the sausage and cheese cart.
- 00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:06,688 Just another minute.
- 00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:10,191 Sorry, get out.
- 00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:12,443 Well, God, I guess you got me again didn't you.
- 00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:14,028 Yeah, that was a good one, God.
- 00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:15,947 Hope it made you laugh, you sick bastard.
- 00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:18,074 What's that?
- 00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:19,450 It's Stan!
- 00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:21,411 Oh, thank you, God! Oh, praise his name!
- 00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:22,996 Dude, where the hell have you been?
- 00:19:23,121 --> 00:19:24,455 Sir, we're all here now. Can we go on, please?
- 00:19:24,581 --> 00:19:25,915 Who?
- 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,417 Well, okay, I guess, but hurry up.
- 00:19:27,542 --> 00:19:29,043 We will.
- 00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:30,837 Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to witness
- 00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:32,755 the next great boy band of the country.
- 00:19:32,881 --> 00:19:35,091 Some day you will all be among those who can say,
- 00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:36,801 "I saw <i>Fingerbang</i> when they first performed
- 00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:39,053 at some crappy little mall."
- 00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:40,555 And so without further ado
- 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,850 all five members of the--
- 00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:45,435 oh, my God, they killed Kenny!
- 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:46,769 You bastards!
- 00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:48,563 No, he can't be dead.
- 00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,064 Dude, he's pretty dead.
- 00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:52,066 No, we were so close!
- 00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:54,027 Alright, that's it, kids. Get out!
- 00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:55,361 But, we have to perform.
- 00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:57,030 We don't have a fifth member, Cartman.
- 00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:59,073 Oh, yes, we do.
- 00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:00,533 Thank you all for your patience
- 00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:02,493 and get ready for <i>Fingerbang</i>!
- 00:20:02,619 --> 00:20:04,245 All: ♪ Fingerbang ♪
- 00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:05,622 ♪ Bang bang ♪
- 00:20:05,747 --> 00:20:07,498 ♪ Fingerbang bang ♪
- 00:20:07,624 --> 00:20:09,292 ♪ Bang bang bang ♪
- 00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:12,503 ♪ I'm gonna fingerbang bang you into my life ♪
- 00:20:12,629 --> 00:20:15,840 ♪ Girl, you like to fingerbang and it's alright ♪
- 00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:17,634 ♪ Because I'm the king of fingerbang ♪
- 00:20:17,759 --> 00:20:19,135 ♪ Let's not fight ♪
- 00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:23,097 ♪ I'll just fingerbang bang you every night ♪
- 00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:26,100 ♪ I'll just fingerbang bang you every night ♪
- 00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:27,143 Cha!
- 00:20:27,268 --> 00:20:29,646 [clapping]
- 00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:32,899 Yes, yes! Thank you, yes!
- 00:20:35,944 --> 00:20:37,320 We made $2.
- 00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:38,696 You were great, Dad.
- 00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:40,240 Yeah, I guess I still got it in me a little.
- 00:20:40,365 --> 00:20:41,783 Can I get your autograph?
- 00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:43,284 Okay, okay.
- 00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,328 Hey, don't hassle the talent, ma'am.
- 00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:47,205 I actually don't really know who they are.
- 00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:48,373 I was just getting an autograph--
- 00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:50,208 Ah!
- 00:20:50,333 --> 00:20:51,668 Move along, ma'am.
- 00:20:51,793 --> 00:20:53,294 That was pretty good, kids.
- 00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:56,297 Maybe you can come perform at my Elk's Club sometime.
- 00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:58,132 Okay, yeah, maybe.
- 00:20:58,258 --> 00:21:00,176 God, now it's like everybody wants a piece of us.
- 00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:01,928 Yeah.
- 00:21:02,053 --> 00:21:03,346 I don't know if I can handle all this fame.
- 00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:05,473 I mean, I always thought I'd want to be famous,
- 00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:08,184 but now that I am, I don't know if I like it.
- 00:21:08,309 --> 00:21:09,936 I mean, I probably can't even walk through this mall
- 00:21:10,061 --> 00:21:11,229 right now without people going
- 00:21:11,354 --> 00:21:12,522 "oh, my God, it's the <i>Fingerbang</i> guy!
- 00:21:12,647 --> 00:21:13,773 Oh, my God!"
- 00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:15,233 Yeah, that's gonna suck.
- 00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:17,068 Yeah, I just want to be a normal kid again,
- 00:21:17,193 --> 00:21:19,112 have a normal life, and appreciate what I have.
- 00:21:19,237 --> 00:21:21,823 I think you boys are very smart for your age.
- 00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:23,908 Come on, I'll buy you all an orange smoothie.
- 00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:25,368 I don't think they sell those anymore.
- 00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:27,537 Hey, Cartman, do you think God is going to be mad at you
- 00:21:27,662 --> 00:21:28,830 for not making $10 million?
- 00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:29,998 Oh, screw God. I'm not scared of him.
- 00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:32,000 He's a pussy.
- 00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:33,251 You know I'm just kidding, right?
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