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Картман вступает в NAMBLA
Cartman Joins NAMBLA
Сезон: 04Серия: 05
Описание
Картман хочет найти более взрослых друзей и вступает в NAMBLA. Родители Кенни решают завести ещё одного ребёнка.
Субтитры
- 00:00:08,718 --> 00:00:09,927 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:12,138 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,263 --> 00:00:13,639 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:13,764 --> 00:00:15,433 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,558 --> 00:00:16,434 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:16,559 --> 00:00:18,686 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,811 --> 00:00:20,479 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:22,064 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
- 00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:23,399 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
- 00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:25,192 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:28,821 --> 00:00:30,114 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:31,574 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:35,995 Okay Stan, I'm going to give you...
- 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:37,413 a "U.F.O. crash-landing" card,
- 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,999 you can deny it or cover it up.
- 00:00:40,124 --> 00:00:41,542 Dude, I don't understand this game <i>at all.</i>
- 00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:43,586 It's "Investigative Reports of Bill Curtis Fun Time Game",
- 00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:45,087 you have to deny it or cover it up.
- 00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:46,505 Uh, deny it.
- 00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:47,548 Okay, let's see what Bill Curtis says.
- 00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:48,924 Hello, I'm Bill Curtis.
- 00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:50,593 Many believe that the U.S. government
- 00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:52,845 covered it up, I'm Bill Curtis.
- 00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:54,638 Alright, Cartman, I'm going to give you...
- 00:00:54,764 --> 00:00:56,348 A "jail time card," you lose a turn.
- 00:00:56,474 --> 00:00:57,808 Sweet.
- 00:00:57,933 --> 00:00:59,810 Oh yeah, well, I'm going to give you...
- 00:00:59,935 --> 00:01:01,145 AIDS.
- 00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:02,605 What?
- 00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:04,231 I just gave you AIDS. - AIDS?
- 00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:05,900 Dude, that's not cool, don't give Kyle AIDS.
- 00:01:06,025 --> 00:01:09,028 Kyle has AIDS and now loses 47 turns and 800 points.
- 00:01:09,153 --> 00:01:10,321 Kenny, your dad and I
- 00:01:10,446 --> 00:01:11,989 are thinking about having another baby.
- 00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:13,449 Wouldn't you love to have another brother or sister?
- 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:14,742 No.
- 00:01:14,867 --> 00:01:17,661 We just might work on it later tonight.
- 00:01:17,787 --> 00:01:18,913 God damn it, poor people suck!
- 00:01:19,038 --> 00:01:20,706 Your family is already on welfare
- 00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:22,333 and now you're going to bring another kid into the world.
- 00:01:22,458 --> 00:01:23,292 Poor people are turning out babies,
- 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,086 adding on to over-population
- 00:01:25,211 --> 00:01:27,213 and expecting <i>m e</i> to pay for it with my tax dollars.
- 00:01:27,338 --> 00:01:29,507 You don't pay tax dollars, Cartman, you're eight.
- 00:01:29,632 --> 00:01:32,093 You see, this is just what I've been talking about!
- 00:01:32,218 --> 00:01:33,761 I can't even relate to you guys anymore
- 00:01:33,886 --> 00:01:34,929 because you're too immature. - What?
- 00:01:35,054 --> 00:01:36,430 I've got to start hanging out with friends
- 00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:38,015 that are a little more intelligent and understand
- 00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:39,600 politics and stuff.
- 00:01:39,725 --> 00:01:41,310 It's just that I'm up on this level, up here
- 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:42,978 and all my friends are down here.
- 00:01:43,104 --> 00:01:44,105 You don't know what you're talking about, fat-ass!
- 00:01:44,230 --> 00:01:46,524 No, no, no, me, "nah", you guys, "nah".
- 00:01:46,649 --> 00:01:48,984 Maybe more down, down "nah".
- 00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:53,114 Screw you guys, I'm going home!
- 00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:55,491 I'm Bill Curtis.
- 00:01:57,493 --> 00:01:58,828 I've outgrown all my friends,
- 00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:00,412 I need to meet more mature people, Clyde Frog.
- 00:02:00,538 --> 00:02:03,582 Oh, great idea, Clyde Frog!
- 00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:05,543 I can meet new friends on the internet.
- 00:02:07,545 --> 00:02:08,796 Here's a chat room.
- 00:02:08,921 --> 00:02:10,172 "men who like young boys", that's perfect!
- 00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:11,966 Hi, everybody.
- 00:02:12,091 --> 00:02:15,219 I am a young boy seeking an older male for good times.
- 00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:16,846 I am eight years old and would like--
- 00:02:20,182 --> 00:02:21,892 Wow, look at all these guys that want to be my friends!
- 00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:24,687 I'll pick tony316.
- 00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:27,523 Hi, Tony.
- 00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:30,109 Oh, you know the usual stuff.
- 00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:32,236 Smiley face.
- 00:02:32,361 --> 00:02:34,572 "Kewl, wanna get together? Smiley face."
- 00:02:34,697 --> 00:02:37,199 Sure, Tony, that would be cool.
- 00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:39,577 Winking smiley face.
- 00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:44,874 Sounds good, see you then!
- 00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:46,792 Clown hat, curly hair, smiley face.
- 00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:49,628 You see that Clyde Frog!
- 00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:51,547 Tomorrow I'm going to meet my first mature friend.
- 00:02:54,133 --> 00:02:55,342 Hi, are you Tony?
- 00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:57,970 Yeah, you're Eric? - Yeah!
- 00:02:58,095 --> 00:03:00,389 I brought you some candy. - Wow, cool!
- 00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:03,601 And some books on Kama Sutra.
- 00:03:03,726 --> 00:03:06,061 Neato, having older friends kicks ass!
- 00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:08,063 You see I've really been having a tough time,
- 00:03:08,189 --> 00:03:09,857 I've kind of matured faster than my other friends,
- 00:03:09,982 --> 00:03:11,317 we don't really relate anymore and--
- 00:03:11,442 --> 00:03:14,612 uh, all my friends seem so childish now, you know.
- 00:03:14,737 --> 00:03:17,198 Do you like having your back rubbed?
- 00:03:17,323 --> 00:03:19,575 Yeah, that seems really nice, thanks.
- 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:20,659 Hold it right there, scum bag!
- 00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:21,952 Huh?
- 00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:23,662 We monitored your little online chat,
- 00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:26,707 now you're coming with us. - No!
- 00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:28,459 What the hell just happened?
- 00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:33,797 You can't eat Kenny, we have to save food for the baby.
- 00:03:33,923 --> 00:03:35,466 Your mom and I are going out for a few weeks, Kenny,
- 00:03:35,591 --> 00:03:37,051 take care of the baby.
- 00:03:37,176 --> 00:03:38,677 Kenny, you have to change the baby's diapers!
- 00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:40,846 You have to share your room with the baby!
- 00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:42,014 The baby, the baby, the baby!
- 00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:44,808 Huuuh!
- 00:03:44,934 --> 00:03:46,393 Stop it.
- 00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:48,145 Come on, let's go try to get you pregnant again.
- 00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:49,688 Oh, alright.
- 00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:50,773 Dad, I want to play catch.
- 00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,191 Huh?
- 00:03:52,316 --> 00:03:53,108 Oh, I'll play catch with you later, son.
- 00:03:53,234 --> 00:03:54,777 I want to play now!
- 00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,612 Oh, go ahead, we can make love afterwards.
- 00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:58,155 Oh, alright.
- 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:02,785 Alright, here comes a pop fly, see if you can catch it.
- 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,579 Good job, now throw me one.
- 00:04:05,704 --> 00:04:07,873 Oh!
- 00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:11,001 Blech!
- 00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:12,336 What happened?
- 00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:13,879 He smacked me in the balls.
- 00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:15,547 Oh, oh! - Woo-hoo!
- 00:04:15,673 --> 00:04:16,840 Blech!
- 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:21,470 Okay, we'll try this again.
- 00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:29,311 This one looks good, "HungDaddy".
- 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,647 Hello, HungDaddy!
- 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:35,192 Damn dude, this guy is tiny, he must be a dwarf.
- 00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:37,486 Sorry, I'm not interested in being friends with midgets.
- 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,530 Frowny face.
- 00:04:40,656 --> 00:04:42,366 How about this one?
- 00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:45,911 Mr. Hammer Head?
- 00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:46,954 Hi, there.
- 00:04:47,079 --> 00:04:48,914 Mr. Garrison! - Ahh, Eric!
- 00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:51,417 You want to be my friend? - Oh, crap!
- 00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:52,960 That's cool, we can hang out, what do you want to do first?
- 00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:54,295 Nothing, nothing!
- 00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:55,671 Alright, scum bag, we got you.
- 00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,464 Hey, ah!
- 00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:58,924 Good thing you guys came.
- 00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:00,801 This little boy was trying to have his way with me.
- 00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:03,512 Nice try, buddy, we monitored your little online chat,
- 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,306 now you're coming with us. - No!
- 00:05:05,431 --> 00:05:08,309 Why the hell does the FBI keep arresting all my friends?
- 00:05:08,434 --> 00:05:09,977 This has to be the work of Stan and Kyle.
- 00:05:10,102 --> 00:05:10,936 God, I hate those guys!
- 00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:14,148 See, I told you, dude!
- 00:05:14,273 --> 00:05:15,691 Those are dialysis machines.
- 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,609 Old people have to hook themselves into it with a tube
- 00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:18,986 and it sucks all their body fluids out.
- 00:05:19,111 --> 00:05:20,404 Oh, man, that's terrible!
- 00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:21,822 I know, huh?
- 00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:22,948 Put your mouth against the glass, like this.
- 00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:23,907 Wah!
- 00:05:24,033 --> 00:05:25,534 Yeah, haaa!
- 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,244 Bleh-leh-leh-leh!
- 00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:28,996 Wha-la-la-la-la!
- 00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:31,081 Alright, just what the hell do you guys think you're doing?
- 00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:32,333 We're making faces at sick people.
- 00:05:32,458 --> 00:05:34,960 No! I mean what the hell are you doing?
- 00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:35,919 Why are all my mature adult friends
- 00:05:36,045 --> 00:05:38,505 being mysteriously arrested, huh?
- 00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:39,548 We don't know. - I'll tell you why!
- 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,467 Because you guys are jealous
- 00:05:41,592 --> 00:05:42,760 and can't handle the fact that you're immature,
- 00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:45,346 and so you started a government conspiracy against me!
- 00:05:45,471 --> 00:05:46,764 We don't know what you're talking about, lard butt.
- 00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:48,766 Lard butt, oh, that's so mature.
- 00:05:48,891 --> 00:05:50,309 God, I guess I was wrong about you guys, huh?
- 00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:51,560 You're not more mature than us, Cartman.
- 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,479 Yes, I am!
- 00:05:55,439 --> 00:05:57,399 I'm telling you this is all a terrible mistake,
- 00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,109 Officer Barbrady.
- 00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:01,570 Well, the FBI said I have to hold you here,
- 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,739 so that's what I'm going to do, Mr. Complainy-pants.
- 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,366 Oh!
- 00:06:05,491 --> 00:06:09,203 Do you like having your back rubbed?
- 00:06:09,328 --> 00:06:10,287 Eat me, pervert.
- 00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:11,872 Okay.
- 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:15,542 We demand you release these men at once.
- 00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:16,794 Who are you?
- 00:06:16,919 --> 00:06:18,087 We are NAMBLA,
- 00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:20,214 the North American Man-Boy Love Association
- 00:06:20,339 --> 00:06:21,173 and we heard about these political prisoners
- 00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:22,758 you're keeping.
- 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,885 Political prisoners? No, these are child molesters.
- 00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:26,053 Loving young boys has been around
- 00:06:26,178 --> 00:06:27,805 since the time of the Romans, pal.
- 00:06:27,930 --> 00:06:29,181 There's nothing wrong with it!
- 00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:31,058 We are an organization dedicated to showing
- 00:06:31,183 --> 00:06:32,518 that sex between a man and a young boy
- 00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:34,186 can be a beautiful thing!
- 00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:35,396 Yeah! - Yeah!
- 00:06:35,521 --> 00:06:37,022 Uh, I don't know who you are,
- 00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:38,315 but these men aren't going anywhere
- 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,067 until I hear from the FBI.
- 00:06:40,192 --> 00:06:42,194 Hate mongerer! Hate mongerer!
- 00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:43,946 Hate mongerer, yeah.
- 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:45,739 Okay, people, I think you'd better move along
- 00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:47,116 before I arrest more of you.
- 00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:48,826 All these men wanted was to love a young boy,
- 00:06:48,951 --> 00:06:51,495 there is nothing wrong with love.
- 00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:53,247 I did not want love from a young boy,
- 00:06:53,372 --> 00:06:54,623 I like men my own age.
- 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,125 Ah! I mean--
- 00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:57,584 I like women, what did I say?
- 00:06:57,709 --> 00:06:59,002 Oh, God, I love titties!
- 00:06:59,128 --> 00:07:00,003 You haven't heard the last of us, officer.
- 00:07:00,129 --> 00:07:02,131 Together we are strong. Come on, men!
- 00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:05,175 Yeah! - Yeah!
- 00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,594 Well, they got activists for everything these days.
- 00:07:09,847 --> 00:07:11,223 I've done it, Kevin!
- 00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:12,766 I've successfully gene-spliced this chipmunk
- 00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,101 with a piece of provolone cheese.
- 00:07:15,519 --> 00:07:17,104 Do you know what this means, Kevin?
- 00:07:17,229 --> 00:07:19,731 No more will the world have to look in two different places
- 00:07:19,857 --> 00:07:21,525 for squirrels and provolone cheese.
- 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:22,901 No more will mankind have to pick--
- 00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:24,278 Who could that be?
- 00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:27,072 Why, it's little Eric Cartman.
- 00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:28,490 Doctor Mephesto, I need help.
- 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:29,575 Of course, come in.
- 00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:31,201 See, unfortunately,
- 00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:32,244 I have matured faster than all my friends.
- 00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:33,120 I want to hang out with older friends,
- 00:07:33,245 --> 00:07:34,663 but I can't find any.
- 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:35,664 So I was wondering if you can genetically engineer
- 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,249 some older friends for me.
- 00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:38,625 Oh, Eric, I'm afraid it's not that simple.
- 00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:41,211 Genetic engineering has not yet evolved to the state
- 00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:42,963 where I can just make people.
- 00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:44,590 Damn it, but I want to hang out with older guys!
- 00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:47,551 Oh, well, I happen to be a member of an organization
- 00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,261 that can help you. It's called NAMBLA.
- 00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:50,637 NAMBLA?
- 00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:52,681 Yes, I've been a member for several years.
- 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,850 I'm sure they'll let you join, you look about right.
- 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,685 Okay, thanks, Doctor Mephesto! - Sure.
- 00:07:58,228 --> 00:07:59,605 Fellow members of NAMBLA,
- 00:07:59,730 --> 00:08:03,275 as you know, we continue to be discriminated against.
- 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,819 Recently the FBI has started to arrest men
- 00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:07,863 who are doing nothing more than than trying to start
- 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,615 a sexual relationship with a young boy.
- 00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:11,533 Oh!
- 00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,410 And now that all ethnic groups, homosexuals and womens
- 00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:14,995 are protected under civil rights laws,
- 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,997 we want the same!
- 00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:18,999 - Yeah! - Yeah!
- 00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:20,334 What we need is <i>proof</i> that young boys
- 00:08:20,459 --> 00:08:21,668 want be members of NAMBLA.
- 00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:23,545 That they <i>want</i> love from us.
- 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:26,256 We need a poster child.
- 00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:28,759 To show the world that it is a beautiful and wonderful thing--
- 00:08:28,884 --> 00:08:29,885 ooooh.
- 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,304 Can we help you?
- 00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:34,097 Yes, I'd like to join your fine organization,
- 00:08:34,223 --> 00:08:35,390 is that cool?
- 00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:37,184 You do? - Sure.
- 00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:40,020 Thank you! Thank you, Jesus!
- 00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:42,022 Sweet.
- 00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:47,319 Whah!
- 00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:48,779 Bleh! - Bleh!
- 00:08:48,904 --> 00:08:50,614 Le-le-le-le! Buh!
- 00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:52,783 Well, Kenny, the doctor confirmed it.
- 00:08:52,908 --> 00:08:54,368 I'm pregnant!
- 00:08:54,493 --> 00:08:55,577 You're going to have a little brother or sister.
- 00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:58,956 Yup, it's for sure.
- 00:08:59,081 --> 00:09:01,041 And he fixed my shattered left testicle, too.
- 00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:02,417 Don't be out too late, Kenny.
- 00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:04,127 We need to start moving stuff out of your room.
- 00:09:04,253 --> 00:09:07,089 Wow, your mom's pregnant, Kenny!
- 00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:08,715 Yeah, now what are you going to do?
- 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,802 I don't know, but I have to think of something!
- 00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:12,844 ♪ Nyah-nyah-nyah ♪
- 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:13,971 ♪ Nyah-nyah-nyah ♪
- 00:09:14,096 --> 00:09:15,305 ♪ I got into NAMBLA ♪
- 00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:17,140 ♪ And you guys didn't ♪
- 00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:18,684 What are you talking about, fat-ass?
- 00:09:18,809 --> 00:09:20,644 Oh, no big deal, I just found a group called NAMBLA
- 00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:22,896 with adult members and they all think that I'm so mature
- 00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:25,691 they want <i>m e</i> to be their new poster child, is all.
- 00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:28,151 It looks like I'm finally going to have mature friends
- 00:09:28,277 --> 00:09:29,570 who I can relate to.
- 00:09:29,695 --> 00:09:30,737 ♪ Nyah-nyah-nyah nyah-nyah-nyah ♪
- 00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:32,239 ♪ I'm too mature for you guys ♪
- 00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:33,448 ♪ Nyah-nyah-nyah nyah-nyah-nyah ♪
- 00:09:36,702 --> 00:09:37,494 Can I help you, young lady?
- 00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:41,540 Oh, you want "morning after" abortion pills.
- 00:09:41,665 --> 00:09:43,584 Well, they're right over there. - Thanks!
- 00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:56,346 I'm sorry, young lady,
- 00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:57,598 but I can't sell that to you
- 00:09:57,723 --> 00:09:58,724 without permission from your parents.
- 00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,605 Well, alrighty then, cash or charge?
- 00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:05,606 Cool.
- 00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:19,369 Look, mom, I made you something to drink.
- 00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:21,288 Oh, well, that's very sweet of you, Kenny,
- 00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:22,998 you made my favorite drink for me.
- 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,083 Yeah.
- 00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:27,419 But, unfortunately, now that I'm pregnant I can't drink.
- 00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:29,087 What? - Well, I could still drink.
- 00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:30,088 No, Daddy.
- 00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,051 Oh, that hits the spot.
- 00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:36,720 Makes me forget all about my shattered balls.
- 00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,724 What, what's the matter?
- 00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,559 Why don't you go make me another one of--
- 00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:45,228 Oh!
- 00:10:45,354 --> 00:10:47,230 What's the matter? - Uh-oh!
- 00:10:47,356 --> 00:10:50,150 Oh God, I'm gonna crap my pants!
- 00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,943 Oh, God!
- 00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:56,073 Oh, my balls.
- 00:10:56,198 --> 00:10:57,074 Blech!
- 00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:02,704 Oh, God!
- 00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:12,339 Just a few more pictures, Eric.
- 00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,257 You make a perfect poster child.
- 00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:15,300 Thanks, dude.
- 00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:20,180 Hey, Eric, we have a surprise for you.
- 00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:21,890 We want you to have a big dinner and dance
- 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,684 honoring you as our new poster child.
- 00:11:23,809 --> 00:11:25,727 Really, awesome!
- 00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,854 Yes, and we want you to, umm...
- 00:11:27,979 --> 00:11:30,357 Invite all your young male friends.
- 00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:32,275 Oh, yes. Aww!
- 00:11:32,401 --> 00:11:34,528 Well, sure, I have some friends who want to be mature
- 00:11:34,653 --> 00:11:36,363 excluding Stan and Kyle, of course.
- 00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:38,323 Great, now you go and invite your little friends
- 00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:39,533 and we'll get the hotel ready.
- 00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:41,368 Kick-ass!
- 00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:44,955 Kenny, don't forget to clean out your room,
- 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:47,624 so we can paint it for the baby!
- 00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:50,001 Hey, are you feeling down, you need some excitement!
- 00:11:50,127 --> 00:11:52,170 And North Park Funland has just opened its newest ride,
- 00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:54,172 the John Denver Experience!
- 00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:56,425 You'll be "Rocky Mountain High" with this,
- 00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:59,094 the most extreme, insane ride ever built!
- 00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:01,430 It was fun.
- 00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:03,223 Note: People with heart conditions and expectant mothers
- 00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:06,101 should not ride "The John Denver," open now, come on down!
- 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:07,102 Mom!
- 00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:12,607 Are you sure you should be going on this thing?
- 00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,359 Oh, it's alright.
- 00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:15,527 You know, I think maybe Kenny's been a little worried
- 00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,112 about the new baby,
- 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,363 we have to show him that he's still our little boy.
- 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:30,041 What'd he say?
- 00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:40,093 Whoa!
- 00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:51,855 Oh, God, my nose, I think I broke my nose.
- 00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:53,607 Come on, Stuart, let's just get you to a bathroom.
- 00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:56,067 Oh, I'm not going to make it, I'm going to be sick.
- 00:12:56,193 --> 00:12:58,361 Oh, my stomach.
- 00:12:58,487 --> 00:13:00,489 Oh, my nose.
- 00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:01,782 Gross.
- 00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:12,292 Oh, Stan and Kyle, just the guys I wanted to see,
- 00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:13,752 my NAMBLA organization
- 00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:15,337 is having a very important benefit in my honor.
- 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,047 They are?
- 00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:18,632 We're going to have a big mature party at this hotel
- 00:13:18,757 --> 00:13:20,842 and I can invite all my mature friends that I want.
- 00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,636 And that means I'm going to invite everybody,
- 00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:24,679 except for you guys!
- 00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:27,808 ♪ Nyah-nyah-nyah nyah-nyah-nyah ♪
- 00:13:27,933 --> 00:13:29,518 We don't want to go to some stupid adult meeting anyway.
- 00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:30,685 Well, that's nice, because you can't go.
- 00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:31,686 We don't want to go.
- 00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:32,687 You can't go.
- 00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:33,897 We don't <i>want</i> to go.
- 00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:35,565 No, you <i>can't</i> go.
- 00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:38,276 Hey, Clyde, Butters, check this out!
- 00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:40,487 Dude, maybe we <i>do</i> need to start being more mature.
- 00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:42,656 Yeah, I guess we've got to try to get in that club, too.
- 00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:47,828 You're doing fine, Ms. McCormick.
- 00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:49,412 It's alright, Kenny.
- 00:13:49,538 --> 00:13:50,705 Come see the miracle of life.
- 00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:53,166 Ewww!
- 00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:54,709 I can see his head. - You can?
- 00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:55,710 Push now, push hard!
- 00:13:57,796 --> 00:13:58,672 Oh, my God!
- 00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:00,799 What is it?
- 00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:03,510 It's alive!
- 00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,932 Oh, my God! It killed Kenny!
- 00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:10,684 Bad baby, bad!
- 00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:12,894 Hmm?
- 00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:15,105 That does it!
- 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:20,986 Oh, hi, Kenny, what are you doing?
- 00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:25,031 What are you doing Kenny?
- 00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:29,703 Kenny, what are you going to plunge?
- 00:14:29,828 --> 00:14:30,996 Grrrrr!
- 00:14:31,121 --> 00:14:32,789 Ahhhh!
- 00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:33,790 Kenny, what the hell are you doing?
- 00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:47,512 What the hell?
- 00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:48,847 Hey, what the hell are you guys doing here?
- 00:14:48,972 --> 00:14:50,181 This is for mature people only.
- 00:14:50,307 --> 00:14:51,433 We got invited too, fat-ass.
- 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:52,767 Well, I guess nowadays
- 00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:54,102 they allow any old schmucks into NAMBLA.
- 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,854 Fellow NAMBLA members,
- 00:14:55,979 --> 00:14:57,647 it is great to see you all here.
- 00:14:57,772 --> 00:14:59,441 It seems like we have finally found a city
- 00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:00,442 that won't oppress us!
- 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,235 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
- 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:05,113 First and foremost, I want to recognize Eric Cartman
- 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:08,074 for putting us in touch with all you pretty young boys.
- 00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:09,659 Thank you, thank you very much, thank you.
- 00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:11,119 Now, I know that many of us
- 00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,704 have already found partners in this fine city
- 00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:14,581 and I'd like to take a minute
- 00:15:14,706 --> 00:15:16,374 to hear some testimonials from members.
- 00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:17,834 This is boring. - Yeah.
- 00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:19,085 Hey, when are we going to get to some action, huh?
- 00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:21,046 Oooh! - Ha-ha!
- 00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:23,298 Goodness, what a gift from God.
- 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:26,217 We'll get "to it" very soon, I'll assure you.
- 00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:27,510 But first, I'd just like to hear
- 00:15:27,636 --> 00:15:29,012 from a couple of you on your progress.
- 00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:30,513 Yes, Patrick.
- 00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:33,683 I found a little eight-year-old named Butters,
- 00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:36,186 he's a beautiful bright little boy.
- 00:15:36,311 --> 00:15:37,896 Well, I sure am, I guess.
- 00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:40,690 And his skin is as soft as fresh linen.
- 00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:42,275 Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
- 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,693 That seems kind of weird.
- 00:15:43,818 --> 00:15:45,654 Well, my skin is "springtime" soft, I suppose.
- 00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:46,780 Wonderful.
- 00:15:46,905 --> 00:15:48,323 And how about you Mr. Harris?
- 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:49,866 Well, I want to announce
- 00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:51,743 that I may have found the dream boy of the decade,
- 00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:54,996 he's sexy and sassy and full of spunk.
- 00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:55,997 His name is Timmy.
- 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:58,667 Timmy! Tim-my?
- 00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:00,502 Well, members, I know we're all eager
- 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,045 to get acquainted with our new partners.
- 00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:05,215 So why don't we turn down the lights and start the dance.
- 00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:12,889 Alright, I want these perverted bastards
- 00:16:13,014 --> 00:16:14,516 - all taken in, got it? - Got it.
- 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:15,934 Fellow NAMBLA members,
- 00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:17,394 as the South Park representative--
- 00:16:17,519 --> 00:16:18,895 Hold it right there! - Nobody move!
- 00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:20,230 What's going on?
- 00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:22,649 Alright, sickos, where are the children?
- 00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:25,151 What children? - This is NAMBLA, right?
- 00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:26,903 Yes.
- 00:16:27,028 --> 00:16:28,571 "The North American Man-Boy Love Association".
- 00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:30,281 What? No!
- 00:16:30,407 --> 00:16:32,659 We're "The North American Marlon Brando Look-a-likes."
- 00:16:34,369 --> 00:16:35,662 Oh, crap, we've got the wrong NAMBLA.
- 00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:37,622 Oh, damn it, I'm in the wrong place!
- 00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:39,499 Don't tell me that <i>other</i> NAMBLA
- 00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:41,292 is actually in South Park. - You know of them?
- 00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:42,711 Know of them?
- 00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:43,753 We've been fighting with them for years
- 00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:45,255 over the rights to NAMBLA.com.
- 00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:47,298 Yeah, those perverted bastards!
- 00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:49,884 Wow, you guys really <i>do</i> look a lot like Marlon Brando.
- 00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,594 Thank you.
- 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:52,679 Now, let's go get those other NAMBLA bastards
- 00:16:52,804 --> 00:16:54,180 before they hurt any South Park children!
- 00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:55,974 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
- 00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:58,268 And let's kick their asses for stealing our domain name!
- 00:16:58,393 --> 00:16:59,394 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
- 00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,315 Alright, members, that's enough of that.
- 00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:06,693 It's time for for us all to retire to our respective rooms
- 00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:08,695 and get to know our new young boys.
- 00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:10,697 Alright!
- 00:17:10,822 --> 00:17:13,241 Dude, being mature is boring. - Yeah!
- 00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,243 Everyone come up and grab your room keys
- 00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:16,745 and we'll head upstairs.
- 00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:28,965 Dude, I think these guys mean to have
- 00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:30,467 sexual encounters with us!
- 00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:32,802 I know dude, let's get the hell out of here!
- 00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:34,512 Ah! There's more of them, quick hide!
- 00:17:37,307 --> 00:17:38,933 Alright, Marlon Brandos!
- 00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:40,643 They've got to be here somewhere, let's try this room.
- 00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:42,896 Let's get those perverts.
- 00:17:45,023 --> 00:17:47,442 Ah! <i>- Sacre bleu!</i>
- 00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:48,818 Whoa!
- 00:17:48,943 --> 00:17:50,570 Ahhh! Ahhh!
- 00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:51,571 Kenny, no! Leave me alone!
- 00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:52,989 Mmm-hmm-mmm.
- 00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:56,826 Kenny!
- 00:17:56,951 --> 00:18:00,121 This time I will not drop the food.
- 00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:01,623 Where's the boys?
- 00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:04,667 <i>Sacre bleu!</i>
- 00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:06,669 I think the boys went in here.
- 00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:08,213 Ah!
- 00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:12,550 Maybe the boys are in here, oh, boys!
- 00:18:12,675 --> 00:18:15,303 Ah!
- 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:16,554 Alright, you're under arrest!
- 00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:18,181 No, you've got the wrong NAMBLA again.
- 00:18:18,306 --> 00:18:19,599 Damn it!
- 00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:21,142 Hey, we didn't try that room.
- 00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,479 <i>Sacre bleu.</i>
- 00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:25,855 Dude, we're surrounded by perverts.
- 00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:26,898 They're all over the place.
- 00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:27,941 Timmy!
- 00:18:28,066 --> 00:18:29,275 What are we going to do?
- 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:30,819 Well, Cartman, you got everybody into this,
- 00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:32,612 you have to figure out a way to get everybody out.
- 00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:33,613 Yeah! - Uhh, that's fine.
- 00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:34,364 I know how to get us out.
- 00:18:34,489 --> 00:18:36,241 How?
- 00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:38,576 Well, look, those perverts aren't going to rest
- 00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:40,954 until they've made love to one of us, right?
- 00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:43,039 So somebody is just going to have to go out there
- 00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:45,083 and take one for the team.
- 00:18:47,252 --> 00:18:49,462 And I think in all fairness, it should be Butters.
- 00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:52,382 Huh, well, why me?
- 00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:53,758 Now, are you a team player or not?
- 00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:55,760 Well, sure, I'm a team player, I guess.
- 00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:57,554 Well, Butters, there is no "I" in team.
- 00:18:57,679 --> 00:18:59,222 You mean you expect me to go out there
- 00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:00,849 and let all those horny old men
- 00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:02,475 have their way with my fragile person?
- 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,310 Just what team is this anyway?
- 00:19:04,435 --> 00:19:05,895 Just go Butters, we're running out of time.
- 00:19:06,020 --> 00:19:08,940 Oh, alright then.
- 00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:10,650 He's such a dumb ass.
- 00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:12,652 Alright men, here I come.
- 00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:16,114 I'm ready to take one for the team.
- 00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:18,825 Kenny, Kenny, I've had enough of your shenanigans!
- 00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:20,702 Ooh, one of the boys just came in!
- 00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:23,204 I get him first! - What the--?
- 00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:24,831 Oh, no! Ahhhhh!
- 00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:30,211 Are you alright, Stuart?
- 00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:31,504 Don't touch me.
- 00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:34,090 I've had my nuts broken, body poisoned,
- 00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:35,758 and been made love to in the ass
- 00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:37,719 by three dozen 40-year-old men.
- 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:41,181 I just want to go home and take a hot bath.
- 00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:42,974 We've been after you for a long time, buddy.
- 00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:44,309 Do you know your rights?
- 00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:46,603 Rights? Does anybody know their rights?
- 00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:48,813 You see, I've learned something today,
- 00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:51,107 our forefathers came to this country
- 00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:53,193 because they believed in an idea.
- 00:19:53,318 --> 00:19:55,278 An idea called freedom.
- 00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:56,863 They wanted to live in a place where a group
- 00:19:56,988 --> 00:19:58,823 couldn't be prosecuted for their beliefs.
- 00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:00,909 Where a person can live the way he chooses to live.
- 00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:03,286 You see us as being perverted
- 00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:04,704 because we're different from you.
- 00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:07,040 People are afraid of us because they don't understand.
- 00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:10,251 And sometimes it's easier to persecute than to understand.
- 00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:13,922 Dude, you have sex with children.
- 00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:15,715 We are human.
- 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,426 Most of us didn't even <i>choose</i> to be attracted to young boys,
- 00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,053 we were born that way.
- 00:20:20,178 --> 00:20:21,512 We can't help the way we are,
- 00:20:21,638 --> 00:20:23,765 and if you all can't understand that, well,
- 00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:27,310 then I guess you'll just have to put us away.
- 00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:34,651 Dude, you have <i>sex</i> with <i>children.</i>
- 00:20:34,776 --> 00:20:36,110 Yeah, you know, we believe in equality for everybody
- 00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:38,112 and tolerance and all that gay stuff, but dude,
- 00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:38,988 fuck you. - Seriously.
- 00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:40,573 Alright, that's enough,
- 00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:42,742 you're all going to be put away for a long time.
- 00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:45,495 Well, Cartman. - Well, what?
- 00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:46,746 Don't you think you owe everyone an apology
- 00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:47,956 - for bringing NAMBLA here? - Yeah!
- 00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:49,540 Alright, alright.
- 00:20:49,666 --> 00:20:51,626 I'm sorry I almost got you guys all raped, there.
- 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:52,752 And now do you still think you need to hang out
- 00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:54,420 with older mature friends?
- 00:20:54,545 --> 00:20:56,297 No, I guess you guys will blossom into maturity some day,
- 00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:57,590 just don't take too long.
- 00:20:58,967 --> 00:20:59,842 Okay, let's roll.
- 00:21:06,224 --> 00:21:09,143 Coo-coochie-coo coo-coochie-coo.
- 00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:10,979 Our little angel, yes.
- 00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:12,647 Oh, he's so beautiful!
- 00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:13,856 I know it's been hard on both of us,
- 00:21:13,982 --> 00:21:15,316 losing poor Kenny.
- 00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:17,235 But this knew baby kind of reminds me of him.
- 00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:18,695 What should we name him?
- 00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:20,530 Well, seeing as though Kenny passed away,
- 00:21:20,655 --> 00:21:22,073 maybe we should name him...
- 00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:23,283 Kenny.
- 00:21:23,408 --> 00:21:25,451 Yes, Kenny is such a great name.
- 00:21:25,576 --> 00:21:27,704 My little Kenny, a brand-new Kenny.
- 00:21:30,081 --> 00:21:32,417 God, this must have been the 50th time this has happened.
- 00:21:32,542 --> 00:21:33,793 52nd.
- 00:00:08,718 --> 00:00:09,927 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:12,138 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:12,263 --> 00:00:13,639 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:13,764 --> 00:00:15,433 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:15,558 --> 00:00:16,434 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:16,559 --> 00:00:18,686 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:18,811 --> 00:00:20,479 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:22,064 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
- 00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:23,399 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
- 00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:25,192 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:25,317 --> 00:00:28,696 ♪ [mumbling] ♪
- 00:00:28,821 --> 00:00:30,114 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:31,574 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:35,995 Okay Stan, I'm going to give you...
- 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:37,413 a "U.F.O. crash-landing" card,
- 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,999 you can deny it or cover it up.
- 00:00:40,124 --> 00:00:41,542 Dude, I don't understand this game <i>at all.</i>
- 00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:43,586 It's "Investigative Reports of Bill Curtis Fun Time Game",
- 00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:45,087 you have to deny it or cover it up.
- 00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:46,505 Uh, deny it.
- 00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:47,548 Okay, let's see what Bill Curtis says.
- 00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:48,924 Hello, I'm Bill Curtis.
- 00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:50,593 Many believe that the U.S. government
- 00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:52,845 covered it up, I'm Bill Curtis.
- 00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:54,638 Alright, Cartman, I'm going to give you...
- 00:00:54,764 --> 00:00:56,348 A "jail time card," you lose a turn.
- 00:00:56,474 --> 00:00:57,808 Sweet.
- 00:00:57,933 --> 00:00:59,810 Oh yeah, well, I'm going to give you...
- 00:00:59,935 --> 00:01:01,145 AIDS.
- 00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:02,605 What?
- 00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:04,231 I just gave you AIDS. - AIDS?
- 00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:05,900 Dude, that's not cool, don't give Kyle AIDS.
- 00:01:06,025 --> 00:01:09,028 Kyle has AIDS and now loses 47 turns and 800 points.
- 00:01:09,153 --> 00:01:10,321 Kenny, your dad and I
- 00:01:10,446 --> 00:01:11,989 are thinking about having another baby.
- 00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:13,449 Wouldn't you love to have another brother or sister?
- 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:14,742 No.
- 00:01:14,867 --> 00:01:17,661 We just might work on it later tonight.
- 00:01:17,787 --> 00:01:18,913 God damn it, poor people suck!
- 00:01:19,038 --> 00:01:20,706 Your family is already on welfare
- 00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:22,333 and now you're going to bring another kid into the world.
- 00:01:22,458 --> 00:01:23,292 Poor people are turning out babies,
- 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,086 adding on to over-population
- 00:01:25,211 --> 00:01:27,213 and expecting <i>m e</i> to pay for it with my tax dollars.
- 00:01:27,338 --> 00:01:29,507 You don't pay tax dollars, Cartman, you're eight.
- 00:01:29,632 --> 00:01:32,093 You see, this is just what I've been talking about!
- 00:01:32,218 --> 00:01:33,761 I can't even relate to you guys anymore
- 00:01:33,886 --> 00:01:34,929 because you're too immature. - What?
- 00:01:35,054 --> 00:01:36,430 I've got to start hanging out with friends
- 00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:38,015 that are a little more intelligent and understand
- 00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:39,600 politics and stuff.
- 00:01:39,725 --> 00:01:41,310 It's just that I'm up on this level, up here
- 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:42,978 and all my friends are down here.
- 00:01:43,104 --> 00:01:44,105 You don't know what you're talking about, fat-ass!
- 00:01:44,230 --> 00:01:46,524 No, no, no, me, "nah", you guys, "nah".
- 00:01:46,649 --> 00:01:48,984 Maybe more down, down "nah".
- 00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:53,114 Screw you guys, I'm going home!
- 00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:55,491 I'm Bill Curtis.
- 00:01:57,493 --> 00:01:58,828 I've outgrown all my friends,
- 00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:00,412 I need to meet more mature people, Clyde Frog.
- 00:02:00,538 --> 00:02:03,582 Oh, great idea, Clyde Frog!
- 00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:05,543 I can meet new friends on the internet.
- 00:02:07,545 --> 00:02:08,796 Here's a chat room.
- 00:02:08,921 --> 00:02:10,172 "men who like young boys", that's perfect!
- 00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:11,966 Hi, everybody.
- 00:02:12,091 --> 00:02:15,219 I am a young boy seeking an older male for good times.
- 00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:16,846 I am eight years old and would like--
- 00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:20,057 [computer beeping]
- 00:02:20,182 --> 00:02:21,892 Wow, look at all these guys that want to be my friends!
- 00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:24,687 I'll pick tony316.
- 00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:27,523 Hi, Tony.
- 00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:30,109 Oh, you know the usual stuff.
- 00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:32,236 Smiley face.
- 00:02:32,361 --> 00:02:34,572 "Kewl, wanna get together? Smiley face."
- 00:02:34,697 --> 00:02:37,199 Sure, Tony, that would be cool.
- 00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:39,577 Winking smiley face.
- 00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:44,874 Sounds good, see you then!
- 00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:46,792 Clown hat, curly hair, smiley face.
- 00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:49,628 You see that Clyde Frog!
- 00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:51,547 Tomorrow I'm going to meet my first mature friend.
- 00:02:54,133 --> 00:02:55,342 Hi, are you Tony?
- 00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:57,970 Yeah, you're Eric? - Yeah!
- 00:02:58,095 --> 00:03:00,389 I brought you some candy. - Wow, cool!
- 00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:03,601 And some books on Kama Sutra.
- 00:03:03,726 --> 00:03:06,061 Neato, having older friends kicks ass!
- 00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:08,063 You see I've really been having a tough time,
- 00:03:08,189 --> 00:03:09,857 I've kind of matured faster than my other friends,
- 00:03:09,982 --> 00:03:11,317 we don't really relate anymore and--
- 00:03:11,442 --> 00:03:14,612 uh, all my friends seem so childish now, you know.
- 00:03:14,737 --> 00:03:17,198 Do you like having your back rubbed?
- 00:03:17,323 --> 00:03:19,575 Yeah, that seems really nice, thanks.
- 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:20,659 Hold it right there, scum bag!
- 00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:21,952 Huh?
- 00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:23,662 We monitored your little online chat,
- 00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:26,707 now you're coming with us. - No!
- 00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:28,459 What the hell just happened?
- 00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:31,670 [moaning]
- 00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:33,797 You can't eat Kenny, we have to save food for the baby.
- 00:03:33,923 --> 00:03:35,466 Your mom and I are going out for a few weeks, Kenny,
- 00:03:35,591 --> 00:03:37,051 take care of the baby.
- 00:03:37,176 --> 00:03:38,677 Kenny, you have to change the baby's diapers!
- 00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:40,846 You have to share your room with the baby!
- 00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:42,014 Both: The baby, the baby, the baby!
- 00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:44,808 Huuuh!
- 00:03:44,934 --> 00:03:46,393 [giggling] Stop it.
- 00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:48,145 Come on, let's go try to get you pregnant again.
- 00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:49,688 Oh, alright.
- 00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:50,773 Dad, I want to play catch.
- 00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,191 Huh?
- 00:03:52,316 --> 00:03:53,108 Oh, I'll play catch with you later, son.
- 00:03:53,234 --> 00:03:54,777 I want to play now!
- 00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,612 Oh, go ahead, we can make love afterwards.
- 00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:58,155 Oh, alright.
- 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:02,785 Alright, here comes a pop fly, see if you can catch it.
- 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,579 Good job, now throw me one.
- 00:04:05,704 --> 00:04:07,873 Oh!
- 00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:10,000 [coughing & sputtering]
- 00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:11,001 Blech!
- 00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:12,336 What happened?
- 00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:13,879 He smacked me in the balls.
- 00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:15,547 Oh, oh! - Woo-hoo!
- 00:04:15,673 --> 00:04:16,840 Blech!
- 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:21,470 Okay, we'll try this again.
- 00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:29,311 This one looks good, "HungDaddy".
- 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,647 Hello, HungDaddy!
- 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:35,192 Damn dude, this guy is tiny, he must be a dwarf.
- 00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:37,486 Sorry, I'm not interested in being friends with midgets.
- 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,530 Frowny face.
- 00:04:40,656 --> 00:04:42,366 How about this one?
- 00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:45,911 Mr. Hammer Head?
- 00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:46,954 Hi, there.
- 00:04:47,079 --> 00:04:48,914 Mr. Garrison! - Ahh, Eric!
- 00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:51,417 You want to be my friend? - Oh, crap!
- 00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:52,960 That's cool, we can hang out, what do you want to do first?
- 00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:54,295 Nothing, nothing!
- 00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:55,671 Alright, scum bag, we got you.
- 00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,464 Hey, ah!
- 00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:58,924 Good thing you guys came.
- 00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:00,801 This little boy was trying to have his way with me.
- 00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:03,512 Nice try, buddy, we monitored your little online chat,
- 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,306 now you're coming with us. - No!
- 00:05:05,431 --> 00:05:08,309 Why the hell does the FBI keep arresting all my friends?
- 00:05:08,434 --> 00:05:09,977 This has to be the work of Stan and Kyle.
- 00:05:10,102 --> 00:05:10,936 God, I hate those guys!
- 00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:14,148 See, I told you, dude!
- 00:05:14,273 --> 00:05:15,691 Those are dialysis machines.
- 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,609 Old people have to hook themselves into it with a tube
- 00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:18,986 and it sucks all their body fluids out.
- 00:05:19,111 --> 00:05:20,404 Oh, man, that's terrible!
- 00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:21,822 I know, huh?
- 00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:22,948 Put your mouth against the glass, like this.
- 00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:23,907 Wah!
- 00:05:24,033 --> 00:05:25,534 Yeah, haaa!
- 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,244 Bleh-leh-leh-leh!
- 00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:28,996 Wha-la-la-la-la!
- 00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:31,081 Alright, just what the hell do you guys think you're doing?
- 00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:32,333 We're making faces at sick people.
- 00:05:32,458 --> 00:05:34,960 No! I mean what the hell are you doing?
- 00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:35,919 Why are all my mature adult friends
- 00:05:36,045 --> 00:05:38,505 being mysteriously arrested, huh?
- 00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:39,548 We don't know. - I'll tell you why!
- 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,467 Because you guys are jealous
- 00:05:41,592 --> 00:05:42,760 and can't handle the fact that you're immature,
- 00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:45,346 and so you started a government conspiracy against me!
- 00:05:45,471 --> 00:05:46,764 We don't know what you're talking about, lard butt.
- 00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:48,766 Lard butt, oh, that's so mature.
- 00:05:48,891 --> 00:05:50,309 God, I guess I was wrong about you guys, huh?
- 00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:51,560 You're not more mature than us, Cartman.
- 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,479 Yes, I am!
- 00:05:55,439 --> 00:05:57,399 I'm telling you this is all a terrible mistake,
- 00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,109 Officer Barbrady.
- 00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:01,570 Well, the FBI said I have to hold you here,
- 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,739 so that's what I'm going to do, Mr. Complainy-pants.
- 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,366 Oh!
- 00:06:05,491 --> 00:06:09,203 Do you like having your back rubbed?
- 00:06:09,328 --> 00:06:10,287 Eat me, pervert.
- 00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:11,872 Okay.
- 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:15,542 We demand you release these men at once.
- 00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:16,794 Who are you?
- 00:06:16,919 --> 00:06:18,087 We are NAMBLA,
- 00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:20,214 the North American Man-Boy Love Association
- 00:06:20,339 --> 00:06:21,173 and we heard about these political prisoners
- 00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:22,758 you're keeping.
- 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,885 Political prisoners? No, these are child molesters.
- 00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:26,053 Loving young boys has been around
- 00:06:26,178 --> 00:06:27,805 since the time of the Romans, pal.
- 00:06:27,930 --> 00:06:29,181 There's nothing wrong with it!
- 00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:31,058 We are an organization dedicated to showing
- 00:06:31,183 --> 00:06:32,518 that sex between a man and a young boy
- 00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:34,186 can be a beautiful thing!
- 00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:35,396 Yeah! - Yeah!
- 00:06:35,521 --> 00:06:37,022 Uh, I don't know who you are,
- 00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:38,315 but these men aren't going anywhere
- 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,067 until I hear from the FBI.
- 00:06:40,192 --> 00:06:42,194 Hate mongerer! Hate mongerer!
- 00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:43,946 [chanting] Hate mongerer, yeah.
- 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:45,739 Okay, people, I think you'd better move along
- 00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:47,116 before I arrest more of you.
- 00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:48,826 All these men wanted was to love a young boy,
- 00:06:48,951 --> 00:06:51,495 there is nothing wrong with love.
- 00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:53,247 I did not want love from a young boy,
- 00:06:53,372 --> 00:06:54,623 I like men my own age.
- 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,125 Ah! I mean--
- 00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:57,584 I like women, what did I say?
- 00:06:57,709 --> 00:06:59,002 Oh, God, I love titties!
- 00:06:59,128 --> 00:07:00,003 You haven't heard the last of us, officer.
- 00:07:00,129 --> 00:07:02,131 Together we are strong. Come on, men!
- 00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:03,132 [mumbling]
- 00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:05,175 Yeah! - Yeah!
- 00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,594 Well, they got activists for everything these days.
- 00:07:09,847 --> 00:07:11,223 I've done it, Kevin!
- 00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:12,766 I've successfully gene-spliced this chipmunk
- 00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,101 with a piece of provolone cheese.
- 00:07:15,519 --> 00:07:17,104 Do you know what this means, Kevin?
- 00:07:17,229 --> 00:07:19,731 No more will the world have to look in two different places
- 00:07:19,857 --> 00:07:21,525 for squirrels and provolone cheese.
- 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:22,901 No more will mankind have to pick--
- 00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:24,278 [doorbell rings] Who could that be?
- 00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:27,072 Why, it's little Eric Cartman.
- 00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:28,490 Doctor Mephesto, I need help.
- 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:29,575 Of course, come in.
- 00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:31,201 See, unfortunately,
- 00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:32,244 I have matured faster than all my friends.
- 00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:33,120 I want to hang out with older friends,
- 00:07:33,245 --> 00:07:34,663 but I can't find any.
- 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:35,664 So I was wondering if you can genetically engineer
- 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,249 some older friends for me.
- 00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:38,625 Oh, Eric, I'm afraid it's not that simple.
- 00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:41,211 Genetic engineering has not yet evolved to the state
- 00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:42,963 where I can just make people.
- 00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:44,590 Damn it, but I want to hang out with older guys!
- 00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:47,551 Oh, well, I happen to be a member of an organization
- 00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,261 that can help you. It's called NAMBLA.
- 00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:50,637 NAMBLA?
- 00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:52,681 Yes, I've been a member for several years.
- 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,850 I'm sure they'll let you join, you look about right.
- 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,685 Okay, thanks, Doctor Mephesto! - Sure.
- 00:07:58,228 --> 00:07:59,605 Fellow members of NAMBLA,
- 00:07:59,730 --> 00:08:03,275 as you know, we continue to be discriminated against.
- 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,819 Recently the FBI has started to arrest men
- 00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:07,863 who are doing nothing more than than trying to start
- 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,615 a sexual relationship with a young boy.
- 00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:11,533 All: Oh!
- 00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,410 And now that all ethnic groups, homosexuals and womens
- 00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:14,995 are protected under civil rights laws,
- 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,997 we want the same!
- 00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:18,999 All: Yeah! - Yeah!
- 00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:20,334 What we need is <i>proof</i> that young boys
- 00:08:20,459 --> 00:08:21,668 want be members of NAMBLA.
- 00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:23,545 That they <i>want</i> love from us.
- 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:26,256 We need a poster child.
- 00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:28,759 To show the world that it is a beautiful and wonderful thing--
- 00:08:28,884 --> 00:08:29,885 ooooh.
- 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,304 Can we help you?
- 00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:34,097 Yes, I'd like to join your fine organization,
- 00:08:34,223 --> 00:08:35,390 is that cool?
- 00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:37,184 You do? - Sure.
- 00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:40,020 Thank you! Thank you, Jesus!
- 00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:42,022 Sweet.
- 00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:47,319 Whah!
- 00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:48,779 Bleh! - Bleh!
- 00:08:48,904 --> 00:08:50,614 Le-le-le-le! Buh!
- 00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:52,783 Well, Kenny, the doctor confirmed it.
- 00:08:52,908 --> 00:08:54,368 I'm pregnant!
- 00:08:54,493 --> 00:08:55,577 You're going to have a little brother or sister.
- 00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:58,956 [gasp] - Yup, it's for sure.
- 00:08:59,081 --> 00:09:01,041 And he fixed my shattered left testicle, too.
- 00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:02,417 Don't be out too late, Kenny.
- 00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:04,127 We need to start moving stuff out of your room.
- 00:09:04,253 --> 00:09:07,089 Wow, your mom's pregnant, Kenny!
- 00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:08,715 Yeah, now what are you going to do?
- 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,802 I don't know, but I have to think of something!
- 00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:12,844 ♪ Nyah-nyah-nyah ♪
- 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:13,971 ♪ Nyah-nyah-nyah ♪
- 00:09:14,096 --> 00:09:15,305 ♪ I got into NAMBLA ♪
- 00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:17,140 ♪ And you guys didn't ♪
- 00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:18,684 What are you talking about, fat-ass?
- 00:09:18,809 --> 00:09:20,644 Oh, no big deal, I just found a group called NAMBLA
- 00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:22,896 with adult members and they all think that I'm so mature
- 00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:25,691 they want <i>m e</i> to be their new poster child, is all.
- 00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:28,151 It looks like I'm finally going to have mature friends
- 00:09:28,277 --> 00:09:29,570 who I can relate to.
- 00:09:29,695 --> 00:09:30,737 ♪ Nyah-nyah-nyah nyah-nyah-nyah ♪
- 00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:32,239 ♪ I'm too mature for you guys ♪
- 00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:33,448 ♪ Nyah-nyah-nyah nyah-nyah-nyah ♪
- 00:09:36,702 --> 00:09:37,494 Can I help you, young lady?
- 00:09:37,619 --> 00:09:39,746 [muffled mumbling]
- 00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:41,540 Oh, you want "morning after" abortion pills.
- 00:09:41,665 --> 00:09:43,584 Well, they're right over there. - Thanks!
- 00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:56,346 I'm sorry, young lady,
- 00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:57,598 but I can't sell that to you
- 00:09:57,723 --> 00:09:58,724 without permission from your parents.
- 00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,605 Well, alrighty then, cash or charge?
- 00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:05,606 Cool.
- 00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:19,369 Look, mom, I made you something to drink.
- 00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:21,288 Oh, well, that's very sweet of you, Kenny,
- 00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:22,998 you made my favorite drink for me.
- 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,083 Yeah.
- 00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:27,419 But, unfortunately, now that I'm pregnant I can't drink.
- 00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:29,087 What? - Well, I could still drink.
- 00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:30,088 No, Daddy.
- 00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,051 Oh, that hits the spot.
- 00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:36,720 Makes me forget all about my shattered balls.
- 00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,724 What, what's the matter?
- 00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,559 Why don't you go make me another one of--
- 00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:45,228 Oh!
- 00:10:45,354 --> 00:10:47,230 What's the matter? - Uh-oh!
- 00:10:47,356 --> 00:10:50,150 Oh God, I'm gonna crap my pants!
- 00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,943 Oh, God!
- 00:10:52,069 --> 00:10:54,112 [bodily noises]
- 00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:56,073 Oh, my balls.
- 00:10:56,198 --> 00:10:57,074 Blech!
- 00:10:57,199 --> 00:11:00,077 [more noises]
- 00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:02,704 Oh, God!
- 00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:05,749 [even more bodily noises]
- 00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:12,339 Just a few more pictures, Eric.
- 00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,257 You make a perfect poster child.
- 00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:15,300 Thanks, dude.
- 00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:20,180 Hey, Eric, we have a surprise for you.
- 00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:21,890 We want you to have a big dinner and dance
- 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,684 honoring you as our new poster child.
- 00:11:23,809 --> 00:11:25,727 Really, awesome!
- 00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,854 Yes, and we want you to, umm...
- 00:11:27,979 --> 00:11:30,357 Invite all your young male friends.
- 00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:32,275 Oh, yes. Aww!
- 00:11:32,401 --> 00:11:34,528 Well, sure, I have some friends who want to be mature
- 00:11:34,653 --> 00:11:36,363 excluding Stan and Kyle, of course.
- 00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:38,323 Great, now you go and invite your little friends
- 00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:39,533 and we'll get the hotel ready.
- 00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:41,368 Kick-ass!
- 00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:44,955 Kenny, don't forget to clean out your room,
- 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:47,624 so we can paint it for the baby!
- 00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:50,001 Hey, are you feeling down, you need some excitement!
- 00:11:50,127 --> 00:11:52,170 And North Park Funland has just opened its newest ride,
- 00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:54,172 the John Denver Experience!
- 00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:56,425 You'll be "Rocky Mountain High" with this,
- 00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:59,094 the most extreme, insane ride ever built!
- 00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:01,430 Both: It was fun.
- 00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:03,223 Note: People with heart conditions and expectant mothers
- 00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:06,101 should not ride "The John Denver," open now, come on down!
- 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:07,102 Mom!
- 00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:12,607 Are you sure you should be going on this thing?
- 00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,359 Oh, it's alright.
- 00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:15,527 You know, I think maybe Kenny's been a little worried
- 00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,112 about the new baby,
- 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,363 we have to show him that he's still our little boy.
- 00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:24,202 [distorted mumbling]
- 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:30,041 What'd he say?
- 00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:37,299 [screaming]
- 00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:40,093 Whoa!
- 00:12:41,470 --> 00:12:42,596 [screaming]
- 00:12:45,182 --> 00:12:47,017 [distorted mumbling]
- 00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:51,855 Oh, God, my nose, I think I broke my nose.
- 00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:53,607 Come on, Stuart, let's just get you to a bathroom.
- 00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:56,067 Oh, I'm not going to make it, I'm going to be sick.
- 00:12:56,193 --> 00:12:58,361 Oh, my stomach.
- 00:12:58,487 --> 00:13:00,489 Oh, my nose.
- 00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:01,782 Gross.
- 00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:12,292 Oh, Stan and Kyle, just the guys I wanted to see,
- 00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:13,752 my NAMBLA organization
- 00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:15,337 is having a very important benefit in my honor.
- 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,047 They are?
- 00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:18,632 We're going to have a big mature party at this hotel
- 00:13:18,757 --> 00:13:20,842 and I can invite all my mature friends that I want.
- 00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,636 And that means I'm going to invite everybody,
- 00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:24,679 except for you guys!
- 00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:27,808 ♪ Nyah-nyah-nyah nyah-nyah-nyah ♪
- 00:13:27,933 --> 00:13:29,518 We don't want to go to some stupid adult meeting anyway.
- 00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:30,685 Well, that's nice, because you can't go.
- 00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:31,686 We don't want to go.
- 00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:32,687 You can't go.
- 00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:33,897 We don't <i>want</i> to go.
- 00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:35,565 No, you <i>can't</i> go.
- 00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:38,276 Hey, Clyde, Butters, check this out!
- 00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:40,487 Dude, maybe we <i>do</i> need to start being more mature.
- 00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:42,656 Yeah, I guess we've got to try to get in that club, too.
- 00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:46,910 [moaning]
- 00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:47,828 You're doing fine, Ms. McCormick.
- 00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:49,412 It's alright, Kenny.
- 00:13:49,538 --> 00:13:50,705 Come see the miracle of life.
- 00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:53,166 [splat] Ewww!
- 00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:54,709 I can see his head. - You can?
- 00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:55,710 Push now, push hard!
- 00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:57,671 [splat]
- 00:13:57,796 --> 00:13:58,672 Oh, my God!
- 00:13:58,797 --> 00:13:59,756 [screaming]
- 00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:00,799 What is it?
- 00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:03,510 It's alive!
- 00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,932 Oh, my God! It killed Kenny!
- 00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:10,684 Bad baby, bad!
- 00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:12,894 Hmm?
- 00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:15,105 That does it!
- 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:20,986 Oh, hi, Kenny, what are you doing?
- 00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:25,031 What are you doing Kenny?
- 00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:29,703 Kenny, what are you going to plunge?
- 00:14:29,828 --> 00:14:30,996 Grrrrr!
- 00:14:31,121 --> 00:14:32,789 Ahhhh!
- 00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:33,790 Kenny, what the hell are you doing?
- 00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:47,512 What the hell?
- 00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:48,847 Hey, what the hell are you guys doing here?
- 00:14:48,972 --> 00:14:50,181 This is for mature people only.
- 00:14:50,307 --> 00:14:51,433 We got invited too, fat-ass.
- 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:52,767 Well, I guess nowadays
- 00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:54,102 they allow any old schmucks into NAMBLA.
- 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,854 Fellow NAMBLA members,
- 00:14:55,979 --> 00:14:57,647 it is great to see you all here.
- 00:14:57,772 --> 00:14:59,441 It seems like we have finally found a city
- 00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:00,442 that won't oppress us!
- 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,235 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
- 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:05,113 First and foremost, I want to recognize Eric Cartman
- 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:08,074 for putting us in touch with all you pretty young boys.
- 00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:09,659 Thank you, thank you very much, thank you.
- 00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:11,119 Now, I know that many of us
- 00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,704 have already found partners in this fine city
- 00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:14,581 and I'd like to take a minute
- 00:15:14,706 --> 00:15:16,374 to hear some testimonials from members.
- 00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:17,834 This is boring. - Yeah.
- 00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:19,085 Hey, when are we going to get to some action, huh?
- 00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:21,046 Oooh! - Ha-ha!
- 00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:23,298 Goodness, what a gift from God.
- 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:26,217 We'll get "to it" very soon, I'll assure you.
- 00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:27,510 But first, I'd just like to hear
- 00:15:27,636 --> 00:15:29,012 from a couple of you on your progress.
- 00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:30,513 Yes, Patrick.
- 00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:33,683 I found a little eight-year-old named Butters,
- 00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:36,186 he's a beautiful bright little boy.
- 00:15:36,311 --> 00:15:37,896 Well, I sure am, I guess.
- 00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:40,690 And his skin is as soft as fresh linen.
- 00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:42,275 Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
- 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,693 That seems kind of weird.
- 00:15:43,818 --> 00:15:45,654 Well, my skin is "springtime" soft, I suppose.
- 00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:46,780 Wonderful.
- 00:15:46,905 --> 00:15:48,323 And how about you Mr. Harris?
- 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:49,866 Well, I want to announce
- 00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:51,743 that I may have found the dream boy of the decade,
- 00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:54,996 he's sexy and sassy and full of spunk.
- 00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:55,997 His name is Timmy.
- 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:58,667 Timmy! Tim-my?
- 00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:00,502 Well, members, I know we're all eager
- 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,045 to get acquainted with our new partners.
- 00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:05,215 So why don't we turn down the lights and start the dance.
- 00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:08,218 [light dance music]
- 00:16:08,343 --> 00:16:11,596 ♪♪
- 00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:12,889 Alright, I want these perverted bastards
- 00:16:13,014 --> 00:16:14,516 all taken in, got it? - All: Got it.
- 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:15,934 Fellow NAMBLA members,
- 00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:17,394 as the South Park representative--
- 00:16:17,519 --> 00:16:18,895 Hold it right there! - Nobody move!
- 00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:20,230 What's going on?
- 00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:22,649 Alright, sickos, where are the children?
- 00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:25,151 What children? - This is NAMBLA, right?
- 00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:26,903 Yes.
- 00:16:27,028 --> 00:16:28,571 "The North American Man-Boy Love Association".
- 00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:30,281 What? No!
- 00:16:30,407 --> 00:16:32,659 We're "The North American Marlon Brando Look-a-likes."
- 00:16:34,369 --> 00:16:35,662 Oh, crap, we've got the wrong NAMBLA.
- 00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:37,622 Oh, damn it, I'm in the wrong place!
- 00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:39,499 Don't tell me that <i>other</i> NAMBLA
- 00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:41,292 is actually in South Park. - You know of them?
- 00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:42,711 Know of them?
- 00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:43,753 We've been fighting with them for years
- 00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:45,255 over the rights to NAMBLA.com.
- 00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:47,298 Yeah, those perverted bastards!
- 00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:49,884 Wow, you guys really <i>do</i> look a lot like Marlon Brando.
- 00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,594 Thank you.
- 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:52,679 Now, let's go get those other NAMBLA bastards
- 00:16:52,804 --> 00:16:54,180 before they hurt any South Park children!
- 00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:55,974 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
- 00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:58,268 And let's kick their asses for stealing our domain name!
- 00:16:58,393 --> 00:16:59,394 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
- 00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,315 Alright, members, that's enough of that.
- 00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:06,693 It's time for for us all to retire to our respective rooms
- 00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:08,695 and get to know our new young boys.
- 00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:10,697 Alright!
- 00:17:10,822 --> 00:17:13,241 Dude, being mature is boring. - Yeah!
- 00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,243 Everyone come up and grab your room keys
- 00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:16,745 and we'll head upstairs.
- 00:17:20,749 --> 00:17:23,626 [man singing in french]
- 00:17:23,752 --> 00:17:25,003 ♪♪
- 00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:27,714 [screaming]
- 00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:28,965 Dude, I think these guys mean to have
- 00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:30,467 sexual encounters with us!
- 00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:32,802 I know dude, let's get the hell out of here!
- 00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:34,512 Ah! There's more of them, quick hide!
- 00:17:37,307 --> 00:17:38,933 Alright, Marlon Brandos!
- 00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:40,643 They've got to be here somewhere, let's try this room.
- 00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:42,896 Let's get those perverts.
- 00:17:45,023 --> 00:17:47,442 Ah! <i>- Sacre bleu!</i>
- 00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:48,818 Whoa!
- 00:17:48,943 --> 00:17:50,570 Ahhh! Ahhh!
- 00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:51,571 Kenny, no! Leave me alone!
- 00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:52,989 Mmm-hmm-mmm.
- 00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:54,324 [grumbling]
- 00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:56,826 Kenny!
- 00:17:56,951 --> 00:18:00,121 This time I will not drop the food.
- 00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:01,623 Where's the boys?
- 00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:04,667 <i>Sacre bleu!</i>
- 00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:06,669 I think the boys went in here.
- 00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:08,213 Ah!
- 00:18:09,339 --> 00:18:10,632 [dog barking]
- 00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:12,550 Maybe the boys are in here, oh, boys!
- 00:18:12,675 --> 00:18:15,303 Ah!
- 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:16,554 Alright, you're under arrest!
- 00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:18,181 No, you've got the wrong NAMBLA again.
- 00:18:18,306 --> 00:18:19,599 Damn it!
- 00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:21,142 Hey, we didn't try that room.
- 00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:22,310 [bell ringing]
- 00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,479 <i>Sacre bleu.</i>
- 00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:25,855 Dude, we're surrounded by perverts.
- 00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:26,898 They're all over the place.
- 00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:27,941 Timmy!
- 00:18:28,066 --> 00:18:29,275 What are we going to do?
- 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:30,819 Well, Cartman, you got everybody into this,
- 00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:32,612 you have to figure out a way to get everybody out.
- 00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:33,613 Yeah! - Uhh, that's fine.
- 00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:34,364 I know how to get us out.
- 00:18:34,489 --> 00:18:36,241 How?
- 00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:38,576 Well, look, those perverts aren't going to rest
- 00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:40,954 until they've made love to one of us, right?
- 00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:43,039 So somebody is just going to have to go out there
- 00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:45,083 and take one for the team.
- 00:18:47,252 --> 00:18:49,462 And I think in all fairness, it should be Butters.
- 00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:52,382 Huh, well, why me?
- 00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:53,758 Now, are you a team player or not?
- 00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:55,760 Well, sure, I'm a team player, I guess.
- 00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:57,554 Well, Butters, there is no "I" in team.
- 00:18:57,679 --> 00:18:59,222 You mean you expect me to go out there
- 00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:00,849 and let all those horny old men
- 00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:02,475 have their way with my fragile person?
- 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,310 Just what team is this anyway?
- 00:19:04,435 --> 00:19:05,895 Just go Butters, we're running out of time.
- 00:19:06,020 --> 00:19:08,940 Oh, alright then.
- 00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:10,650 He's such a dumb ass.
- 00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:12,652 Alright men, here I come.
- 00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:16,114 I'm ready to take one for the team.
- 00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:18,825 Kenny, Kenny, I've had enough of your shenanigans!
- 00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:20,702 Ooh, one of the boys just came in!
- 00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:23,204 I get him first! - What the--?
- 00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:24,831 Oh, no! Ahhhhh!
- 00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:30,211 Are you alright, Stuart?
- 00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:31,504 Don't touch me.
- 00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:34,090 I've had my nuts broken, body poisoned,
- 00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:35,758 and been made love to in the ass
- 00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:37,719 by three dozen 40-year-old men.
- 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:41,181 I just want to go home and take a hot bath.
- 00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:42,974 We've been after you for a long time, buddy.
- 00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:44,309 Do you know your rights?
- 00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:46,603 Rights? Does anybody know their rights?
- 00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:48,813 You see, I've learned something today,
- 00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:51,107 our forefathers came to this country
- 00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:53,193 because they believed in an idea.
- 00:19:53,318 --> 00:19:55,278 An idea called freedom.
- 00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:56,863 They wanted to live in a place where a group
- 00:19:56,988 --> 00:19:58,823 couldn't be prosecuted for their beliefs.
- 00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:00,909 Where a person can live the way he chooses to live.
- 00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:03,286 You see us as being perverted
- 00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:04,704 because we're different from you.
- 00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:07,040 People are afraid of us because they don't understand.
- 00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:10,251 And sometimes it's easier to persecute than to understand.
- 00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:13,922 Dude, you have sex with children.
- 00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:15,715 We are human.
- 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,426 Most of us didn't even <i>choose</i> to be attracted to young boys,
- 00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,053 we were born that way.
- 00:20:20,178 --> 00:20:21,512 We can't help the way we are,
- 00:20:21,638 --> 00:20:23,765 and if you all can't understand that, well,
- 00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:27,310 then I guess you'll just have to put us away.
- 00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:34,651 Dude, you have <i>sex</i> with <i>children.</i>
- 00:20:34,776 --> 00:20:36,110 Yeah, you know, we believe in equality for everybody
- 00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:38,112 and tolerance and all that gay stuff, but dude,
- 00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:38,988 fuck you. - Seriously.
- 00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:40,573 Alright, that's enough,
- 00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:42,742 you're all going to be put away for a long time.
- 00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:45,495 Well, Cartman. - Well, what?
- 00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:46,746 Don't you think you owe everyone an apology
- 00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:47,956 for bringing NAMBLA here? - All: Yeah!
- 00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:49,540 Alright, alright.
- 00:20:49,666 --> 00:20:51,626 I'm sorry I almost got you guys all raped, there.
- 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:52,752 And now do you still think you need to hang out
- 00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:54,420 with older mature friends?
- 00:20:54,545 --> 00:20:56,297 No, I guess you guys will blossom into maturity some day,
- 00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:57,590 just don't take too long.
- 00:20:58,967 --> 00:20:59,842 Okay, let's roll.
- 00:20:59,968 --> 00:21:02,845 [siren wailing]
- 00:21:06,224 --> 00:21:09,143 Coo-coochie-coo coo-coochie-coo.
- 00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:10,979 Our little angel, yes.
- 00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:12,647 Oh, he's so beautiful!
- 00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:13,856 I know it's been hard on both of us,
- 00:21:13,982 --> 00:21:15,316 losing poor Kenny.
- 00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:17,235 But this knew baby kind of reminds me of him.
- 00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:18,695 What should we name him?
- 00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:20,530 Well, seeing as though Kenny passed away,
- 00:21:20,655 --> 00:21:22,073 maybe we should name him...
- 00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:23,283 Kenny.
- 00:21:23,408 --> 00:21:25,451 Yes, Kenny is such a great name.
- 00:21:25,576 --> 00:21:27,704 My little Kenny, a brand-new Kenny.
- 00:21:27,829 --> 00:21:29,956 [gurgling]
- 00:21:30,081 --> 00:21:32,417 God, this must have been the 50th time this has happened.
- 00:21:32,542 --> 00:21:33,793 52nd.
- 00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:36,796 [man singing in french]
- 00:21:36,921 --> 00:21:44,804 ♪♪
Скриншоты
