Картман вступает в NAMBLA

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♪ Gonna have

myself a time ♪

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♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

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♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

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♪ Going down

to South Park ♪

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♪ Gonna leave my

woes behind ♪

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♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

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♪ People spouting

"howdy neighbor" ♪

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♪ Headed on up

to South Park ♪

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♪ Gonna see if

I can't unwind ♪

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♪ So come on down

to South Park ♪

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♪ And meet some

friends of mine ♪

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Okay Stan, I'm going

to give you...

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a "U.F.O.

crash-landing" card,

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you can deny it

or cover it up.

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Dude, I don't understand

this game at all.

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It's "Investigative Reports

of Bill Curtis Fun Time Game",

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you have to deny it

or cover it up.

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Uh, deny it.

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Okay, let's see

what Bill Curtis says.

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Hello, I'm Bill Curtis.

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Many believe that

the U.S. government

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covered it up,

I'm Bill Curtis.

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Alright, Cartman,

I'm going to give you...

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A "jail time card,"

you lose a turn.

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Sweet.

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Oh yeah, well, I'm

going to give you...

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AIDS.

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What?

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I just gave you AIDS.

- AIDS?

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Dude, that's not cool,

don't give Kyle AIDS.

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Kyle has AIDS and now loses

47 turns and 800 points.

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Kenny, your dad and I

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are thinking about

having another baby.

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Wouldn't you love to have

another brother or sister?

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No.

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We just might

work on it later tonight.

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God damn it,

poor people suck!

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Your family is

already on welfare

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and now you're going to bring

another kid into the world.

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Poor people are

turning out babies,

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adding on to over-population

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and expecting m e to pay

for it with my tax dollars.

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You don't pay tax dollars,

Cartman, you're eight.

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You see, this is just

what I've been talking about!

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I can't even relate to

you guys anymore

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because you're too immature.

- What?

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I've got to start

hanging out with friends

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that are a little more

intelligent and understand

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politics and stuff.

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It's just that I'm up

on this level, up here

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and all my friends

are down here.

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You don't know what you're

talking about, fat-ass!

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No, no, no,

me, "nah", you guys, "nah".

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Maybe more down,

down "nah".

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Screw you guys,

I'm going home!

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I'm Bill Curtis.

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I've outgrown

all my friends,

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I need to meet more

mature people, Clyde Frog.

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Oh, great idea,

Clyde Frog!

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I can meet new friends

on the internet.

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Here's a chat room.

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"men who like young boys",

that's perfect!

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Hi, everybody.

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I am a young boy seeking

an older male for good times.

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I am eight years old and

would like--

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Wow, look at all these guys

that want to be my friends!

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I'll pick tony316.

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Hi, Tony.

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Oh, you know

the usual stuff.

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Smiley face.

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"Kewl, wanna get together?

Smiley face."

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Sure, Tony,

that would be cool.

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Winking smiley face.

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Sounds good,

see you then!

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Clown hat, curly hair,

smiley face.

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You see that

Clyde Frog!

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Tomorrow I'm going to meet

my first mature friend.

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Hi, are you Tony?

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Yeah, you're Eric?

- Yeah!

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I brought you some candy.

- Wow, cool!

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And some books

on Kama Sutra.

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Neato, having

older friends kicks ass!

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You see I've really

been having a tough time,

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I've kind of matured faster

than my other friends,

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we don't really

relate anymore and--

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uh, all my friends seem

so childish now, you know.

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Do you like having

your back rubbed?

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Yeah, that seems

really nice, thanks.

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Hold it right

there, scum bag!

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Huh?

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We monitored your little

online chat,

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now you're coming with us.

- No!

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What the hell

just happened?

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You can't eat Kenny, we have

to save food for the baby.

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Your mom and I are going

out for a few weeks, Kenny,

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take care of the baby.

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Kenny, you have to change

the baby's diapers!

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You have to share

your room with the baby!

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The baby, the baby,

the baby!

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Huuuh!

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Stop it.

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Come on, let's go try to

get you pregnant again.

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Oh, alright.

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Dad, I want

to play catch.

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Huh?

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Oh, I'll play catch

with you later, son.

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I want to play now!

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Oh, go ahead, we can

make love afterwards.

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Oh, alright.

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Alright, here comes a pop fly,

see if you can catch it.

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Good job,

now throw me one.

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Oh!

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Blech!

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What happened?

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He smacked me

in the balls.

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Oh, oh!

- Woo-hoo!

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Blech!

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Okay, we'll

try this again.

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This one looks good,

"HungDaddy".

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Hello, HungDaddy!

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Damn dude, this guy is tiny,

he must be a dwarf.

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Sorry, I'm not interested

in being friends with midgets.

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Frowny face.

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How about this one?

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Mr. Hammer Head?

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Hi, there.

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Mr. Garrison!

- Ahh, Eric!

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You want to be my friend?

- Oh, crap!

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That's cool, we can hang out,

what do you want to do first?

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Nothing, nothing!

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Alright, scum bag,

we got you.

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Hey, ah!

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Good thing

you guys came.

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This little boy was trying

to have his way with me.

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Nice try, buddy, we monitored

your little online chat,

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now you're coming with us.

- No!

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Why the hell does the FBI

keep arresting all my friends?

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This has to be the work

of Stan and Kyle.

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God, I hate those guys!

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See, I told you, dude!

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Those are

dialysis machines.

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Old people have to hook

themselves into it with a tube

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and it sucks all

their body fluids out.

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Oh, man,

that's terrible!

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I know, huh?

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Put your mouth against

the glass, like this.

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Wah!

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Yeah,

haaa!

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Bleh-leh-leh-leh!

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Wha-la-la-la-la!

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Alright, just what the hell

do you guys think you're doing?

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We're making faces

at sick people.

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No! I mean what

the hell are you doing?

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Why are all my mature

adult friends

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being mysteriously

arrested, huh?

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We don't know.

- I'll tell you why!

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Because you guys are jealous

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and can't handle the fact

that you're immature,

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and so you started a government

conspiracy against me!

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We don't know what you're

talking about, lard butt.

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Lard butt, oh,

that's so mature.

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God, I guess I was wrong

about you guys, huh?

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You're not more

mature than us, Cartman.

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Yes, I am!

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I'm telling you this is

all a terrible mistake,

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Officer Barbrady.

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Well, the FBI said

I have to hold you here,

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so that's what I'm going

to do, Mr. Complainy-pants.

00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,366

Oh!

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Do you like having

your back rubbed?

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Eat me, pervert.

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Okay.

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We demand you release

these men at once.

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Who are you?

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We are NAMBLA,

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the North American Man-Boy

Love Association

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and we heard about

these political prisoners

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you're keeping.

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Political prisoners?

No, these are child molesters.

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Loving young boys

has been around

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since the time

of the Romans, pal.

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There's nothing

wrong with it!

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We are an organization

dedicated to showing

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that sex between

a man and a young boy

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can be a beautiful thing!

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Yeah!

- Yeah!

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Uh, I don't know

who you are,

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but these men aren't

going anywhere

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until I hear

from the FBI.

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Hate mongerer!

Hate mongerer!

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Hate mongerer, yeah.

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Okay, people, I think

you'd better move along

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before I arrest more of you.

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All these men wanted

was to love a young boy,

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there is nothing

wrong with love.

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I did not want love

from a young boy,

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I like men

my own age.

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Ah! I mean--

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I like women,

what did I say?

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Oh, God,

I love titties!

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You haven't heard

the last of us, officer.

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Together we are strong.

Come on, men!

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Yeah!

- Yeah!

00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,594

Well, they got activists

for everything these days.

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I've done it, Kevin!

00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:12,766

I've successfully gene-spliced

this chipmunk

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with a piece

of provolone cheese.

00:07:15,519 --> 00:07:17,104

Do you know what

this means, Kevin?

00:07:17,229 --> 00:07:19,731

No more will the world have to

look in two different places

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for squirrels and

provolone cheese.

00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:22,901

No more will mankind

have to pick--

00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:24,278

Who could that be?

00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:27,072

Why, it's little

Eric Cartman.

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Doctor Mephesto,

I need help.

00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:29,575

Of course,

come in.

00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:31,201

See, unfortunately,

00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:32,244

I have matured faster

than all my friends.

00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:33,120

I want to hang out

with older friends,

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but I can't find any.

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So I was wondering if you can

genetically engineer

00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,249

some older friends for me.

00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:38,625

Oh, Eric, I'm afraid

it's not that simple.

00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:41,211

Genetic engineering has not yet

evolved to the state

00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:42,963

where I can just

make people.

00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:44,590

Damn it, but I want to

hang out with older guys!

00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:47,551

Oh, well, I happen to be

a member of an organization

00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,261

that can help you.

It's called NAMBLA.

00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:50,637

NAMBLA?

00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:52,681

Yes, I've been a member

for several years.

00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,850

I'm sure they'll let you join,

you look about right.

00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,685

Okay, thanks, Doctor Mephesto!

- Sure.

00:07:58,228 --> 00:07:59,605

Fellow members

of NAMBLA,

00:07:59,730 --> 00:08:03,275

as you know, we continue

to be discriminated against.

00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,819

Recently the FBI

has started to arrest men

00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:07,863

who are doing nothing more

than than trying to start

00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,615

a sexual relationship

with a young boy.

00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:11,533

Oh!

00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,410

And now that all ethnic

groups, homosexuals and womens

00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:14,995

are protected under

civil rights laws,

00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,997

we want the same!

00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:18,999

- Yeah!

- Yeah!

00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:20,334

What we need is proof

that young boys

00:08:20,459 --> 00:08:21,668

want be members of NAMBLA.

00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:23,545

That they want

love from us.

00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:26,256

We need a poster child.

00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:28,759

To show the world that it is a

beautiful and wonderful thing--

00:08:28,884 --> 00:08:29,885

ooooh.

00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,304

Can we help you?

00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:34,097

Yes, I'd like to join

your fine organization,

00:08:34,223 --> 00:08:35,390

is that cool?

00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:37,184

You do?

- Sure.

00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:40,020

Thank you!

Thank you, Jesus!

00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:42,022

Sweet.

00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:47,319

Whah!

00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:48,779

Bleh!

- Bleh!

00:08:48,904 --> 00:08:50,614

Le-le-le-le!

Buh!

00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:52,783

Well, Kenny,

the doctor confirmed it.

00:08:52,908 --> 00:08:54,368

I'm pregnant!

00:08:54,493 --> 00:08:55,577

You're going to have

a little brother or sister.

00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:58,956

Yup, it's for sure.

00:08:59,081 --> 00:09:01,041

And he fixed my shattered

left testicle, too.

00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:02,417

Don't be out

too late, Kenny.

00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:04,127

We need to start moving

stuff out of your room.

00:09:04,253 --> 00:09:07,089

Wow, your mom's

pregnant, Kenny!

00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:08,715

Yeah, now what are

you going to do?

00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,802

I don't know, but I have to

think of something!

00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:12,844

♪ Nyah-nyah-nyah ♪

00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:13,971

♪ Nyah-nyah-nyah ♪

00:09:14,096 --> 00:09:15,305

♪ I got

into NAMBLA ♪

00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:17,140

♪ And you guys didn't ♪

00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:18,684

What are you

talking about, fat-ass?

00:09:18,809 --> 00:09:20,644

Oh, no big deal, I just found

a group called NAMBLA

00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:22,896

with adult members and they all

think that I'm so mature

00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:25,691

they want m e to be their

new poster child, is all.

00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:28,151

It looks like I'm finally

going to have mature friends

00:09:28,277 --> 00:09:29,570

who I can relate to.

00:09:29,695 --> 00:09:30,737

♪ Nyah-nyah-nyah

nyah-nyah-nyah ♪

00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:32,239

♪ I'm too mature

for you guys ♪

00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:33,448

♪ Nyah-nyah-nyah

nyah-nyah-nyah ♪

00:09:36,702 --> 00:09:37,494

Can I help you,

young lady?

00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:41,540

Oh, you want "morning after"

abortion pills.

00:09:41,665 --> 00:09:43,584

Well, they're right over there.

- Thanks!

00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:56,346

I'm sorry,

young lady,

00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:57,598

but I can't sell that to you

00:09:57,723 --> 00:09:58,724

without permission

from your parents.

00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,605

Well, alrighty then,

cash or charge?

00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:05,606

Cool.

00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:19,369

Look, mom, I made you

something to drink.

00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:21,288

Oh, well, that's

very sweet of you, Kenny,

00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:22,998

you made my favorite

drink for me.

00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,083

Yeah.

00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:27,419

But, unfortunately, now

that I'm pregnant I can't drink.

00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:29,087

What?

- Well, I could still drink.

00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:30,088

No, Daddy.

00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,051

Oh, that hits

the spot.

00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:36,720

Makes me forget all about

my shattered balls.

00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,724

What, what's

the matter?

00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,559

Why don't you go

make me another one of--

00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:45,228

Oh!

00:10:45,354 --> 00:10:47,230

What's the matter?

- Uh-oh!

00:10:47,356 --> 00:10:50,150

Oh God, I'm gonna

crap my pants!

00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,943

Oh, God!

00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:56,073

Oh, my balls.

00:10:56,198 --> 00:10:57,074

Blech!

00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:02,704

Oh, God!

00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:12,339

Just a few more

pictures, Eric.

00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,257

You make a perfect

poster child.

00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:15,300

Thanks, dude.

00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:20,180

Hey, Eric, we have

a surprise for you.

00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:21,890

We want you to have

a big dinner and dance

00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,684

honoring you as

our new poster child.

00:11:23,809 --> 00:11:25,727

Really, awesome!

00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,854

Yes, and we want you

to, umm...

00:11:27,979 --> 00:11:30,357

Invite all your

young male friends.

00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:32,275

Oh, yes.

Aww!

00:11:32,401 --> 00:11:34,528

Well, sure, I have some

friends who want to be mature

00:11:34,653 --> 00:11:36,363

excluding Stan and Kyle,

of course.

00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:38,323

Great, now you go and

invite your little friends

00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:39,533

and we'll get

the hotel ready.

00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:41,368

Kick-ass!

00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:44,955

Kenny, don't forget

to clean out your room,

00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:47,624

so we can paint it

for the baby!

00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:50,001

Hey, are you feeling down,

you need some excitement!

00:11:50,127 --> 00:11:52,170

And North Park Funland has

just opened its newest ride,

00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:54,172

the John Denver Experience!

00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:56,425

You'll be "Rocky Mountain High"

with this,

00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:59,094

the most extreme,

insane ride ever built!

00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:01,430

It was fun.

00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:03,223

Note: People with heart

conditions and expectant mothers

00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:06,101

should not ride "The John

Denver," open now, come on down!

00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:07,102

Mom!

00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:12,607

Are you sure you should be

going on this thing?

00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,359

Oh, it's alright.

00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:15,527

You know, I think maybe

Kenny's been a little worried

00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,112

about the new baby,

00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,363

we have to show him that

he's still our little boy.

00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:30,041

What'd he say?

00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:40,093

Whoa!

00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:51,855

Oh, God, my nose,

I think I broke my nose.

00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:53,607

Come on, Stuart, let's just

get you to a bathroom.

00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:56,067

Oh, I'm not going to make it,

I'm going to be sick.

00:12:56,193 --> 00:12:58,361

Oh, my stomach.

00:12:58,487 --> 00:13:00,489

Oh, my nose.

00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:01,782

Gross.

00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:12,292

Oh, Stan and Kyle, just

the guys I wanted to see,

00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:13,752

my NAMBLA organization

00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:15,337

is having a very important

benefit in my honor.

00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,047

They are?

00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:18,632

We're going to have a big

mature party at this hotel

00:13:18,757 --> 00:13:20,842

and I can invite all

my mature friends that I want.

00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,636

And that means I'm going

to invite everybody,

00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:24,679

except for

you guys!

00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:27,808

♪ Nyah-nyah-nyah

nyah-nyah-nyah ♪

00:13:27,933 --> 00:13:29,518

We don't want to go to some

stupid adult meeting anyway.

00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:30,685

Well, that's nice,

because you can't go.

00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:31,686

We don't

want to go.

00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:32,687

You can't go.

00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:33,897

We don't want

to go.

00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:35,565

No, you can't go.

00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:38,276

Hey, Clyde, Butters,

check this out!

00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:40,487

Dude, maybe we do need to

start being more mature.

00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:42,656

Yeah, I guess we've got to

try to get in that club, too.

00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:47,828

You're doing fine,

Ms. McCormick.

00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:49,412

It's alright, Kenny.

00:13:49,538 --> 00:13:50,705

Come see

the miracle of life.

00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:53,166

Ewww!

00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:54,709

I can see his head.

- You can?

00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:55,710

Push now,

push hard!

00:13:57,796 --> 00:13:58,672

Oh, my God!

00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:00,799

What is it?

00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:03,510

It's alive!

00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,932

Oh, my God!

It killed Kenny!

00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:10,684

Bad baby, bad!

00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:12,894

Hmm?

00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:15,105

That does it!

00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:20,986

Oh, hi, Kenny,

what are you doing?

00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:25,031

What are you

doing Kenny?

00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:29,703

Kenny, what are you

going to plunge?

00:14:29,828 --> 00:14:30,996

Grrrrr!

00:14:31,121 --> 00:14:32,789

Ahhhh!

00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:33,790

Kenny, what the

hell are you doing?

00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:47,512

What the hell?

00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:48,847

Hey, what the hell

are you guys doing here?

00:14:48,972 --> 00:14:50,181

This is for

mature people only.

00:14:50,307 --> 00:14:51,433

We got invited too,

fat-ass.

00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:52,767

Well, I guess nowadays

00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:54,102

they allow any old schmucks

into NAMBLA.

00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,854

Fellow NAMBLA members,

00:14:55,979 --> 00:14:57,647

it is great to see

you all here.

00:14:57,772 --> 00:14:59,441

It seems like we have

finally found a city

00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:00,442

that won't oppress us!

00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,235

Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah!

00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:05,113

First and foremost,

I want to recognize Eric Cartman

00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:08,074

for putting us in touch with

all you pretty young boys.

00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:09,659

Thank you, thank you

very much, thank you.

00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:11,119

Now, I know that many of us

00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,704

have already found partners

in this fine city

00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:14,581

and I'd like to take a minute

00:15:14,706 --> 00:15:16,374

to hear some testimonials

from members.

00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:17,834

This is boring.

- Yeah.

00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:19,085

Hey, when are we going to

get to some action, huh?

00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:21,046

Oooh!

- Ha-ha!

00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:23,298

Goodness,

what a gift from God.

00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:26,217

We'll get "to it" very soon,

I'll assure you.

00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:27,510

But first,

I'd just like to hear

00:15:27,636 --> 00:15:29,012

from a couple of you

on your progress.

00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:30,513

Yes, Patrick.

00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:33,683

I found a little

eight-year-old named Butters,

00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:36,186

he's a beautiful

bright little boy.

00:15:36,311 --> 00:15:37,896

Well, I sure am,

I guess.

00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:40,690

And his skin is as soft

as fresh linen.

00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:42,275

Ooh!

Ooh! Ooh!

00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,693

That seems

kind of weird.

00:15:43,818 --> 00:15:45,654

Well, my skin is "springtime"

soft, I suppose.

00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:46,780

Wonderful.

00:15:46,905 --> 00:15:48,323

And how about you

Mr. Harris?

00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:49,866

Well, I want to announce

00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:51,743

that I may have found

the dream boy of the decade,

00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:54,996

he's sexy and sassy

and full of spunk.

00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:55,997

His name is Timmy.

00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:58,667

Timmy!

Tim-my?

00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:00,502

Well, members,

I know we're all eager

00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,045

to get acquainted with

our new partners.

00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:05,215

So why don't we turn down

the lights and start the dance.

00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:12,889

Alright, I want these

perverted bastards

00:16:13,014 --> 00:16:14,516

- all taken in, got it?

- Got it.

00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:15,934

Fellow NAMBLA members,

00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:17,394

as the South Park

representative--

00:16:17,519 --> 00:16:18,895

Hold it right there!

- Nobody move!

00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:20,230

What's going on?

00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:22,649

Alright, sickos,

where are the children?

00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:25,151

What children?

- This is NAMBLA, right?

00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:26,903

Yes.

00:16:27,028 --> 00:16:28,571

"The North American

Man-Boy Love Association".

00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:30,281

What? No!

00:16:30,407 --> 00:16:32,659

We're "The North American

Marlon Brando Look-a-likes."

00:16:34,369 --> 00:16:35,662

Oh, crap, we've got

the wrong NAMBLA.

00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:37,622

Oh, damn it,

I'm in the wrong place!

00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:39,499

Don't tell me that

other NAMBLA

00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:41,292

is actually in South Park.

- You know of them?

00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:42,711

Know of them?

00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:43,753

We've been fighting with them

for years

00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:45,255

over the rights

to NAMBLA.com.

00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:47,298

Yeah, those

perverted bastards!

00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:49,884

Wow, you guys really do

look a lot like Marlon Brando.

00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,594

Thank you.

00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:52,679

Now, let's go get those

other NAMBLA bastards

00:16:52,804 --> 00:16:54,180

before they hurt any

South Park children!

00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:55,974

Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah!

00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:58,268

And let's kick their asses

for stealing our domain name!

00:16:58,393 --> 00:16:59,394

Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah!

00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,315

Alright, members,

that's enough of that.

00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:06,693

It's time for for us all to

retire to our respective rooms

00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:08,695

and get to know

our new young boys.

00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:10,697

Alright!

00:17:10,822 --> 00:17:13,241

Dude, being mature is boring.

- Yeah!

00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,243

Everyone come up and

grab your room keys

00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:16,745

and we'll head upstairs.

00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:28,965

Dude, I think

these guys mean to have

00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:30,467

sexual encounters with us!

00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:32,802

I know dude, let's get

the hell out of here!

00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:34,512

Ah! There's more

of them, quick hide!

00:17:37,307 --> 00:17:38,933

Alright, Marlon Brandos!

00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:40,643

They've got to be here

somewhere, let's try this room.

00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:42,896

Let's get those perverts.

00:17:45,023 --> 00:17:47,442

Ah!

- Sacre bleu!

00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:48,818

Whoa!

00:17:48,943 --> 00:17:50,570

Ahhh!

Ahhh!

00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:51,571

Kenny, no!

Leave me alone!

00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:52,989

Mmm-hmm-mmm.

00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:56,826

Kenny!

00:17:56,951 --> 00:18:00,121

This time I will

not drop the food.

00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:01,623

Where's the boys?

00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:04,667

Sacre bleu!

00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:06,669

I think the boys

went in here.

00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:08,213

Ah!

00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:12,550

Maybe the boys

are in here, oh, boys!

00:18:12,675 --> 00:18:15,303

Ah!

00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:16,554

Alright, you're

under arrest!

00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:18,181

No, you've got

the wrong NAMBLA again.

00:18:18,306 --> 00:18:19,599

Damn it!

00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:21,142

Hey, we didn't

try that room.

00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,479

Sacre bleu.

00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:25,855

Dude, we're

surrounded by perverts.

00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:26,898

They're all over

the place.

00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:27,941

Timmy!

00:18:28,066 --> 00:18:29,275

What are we

going to do?

00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:30,819

Well, Cartman, you got

everybody into this,

00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:32,612

you have to figure out a way

to get everybody out.

00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:33,613

Yeah!

- Uhh, that's fine.

00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:34,364

I know how

to get us out.

00:18:34,489 --> 00:18:36,241

How?

00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:38,576

Well, look, those perverts

aren't going to rest

00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:40,954

until they've made love

to one of us, right?

00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:43,039

So somebody is just going

to have to go out there

00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:45,083

and take one

for the team.

00:18:47,252 --> 00:18:49,462

And I think in all fairness,

it should be Butters.

00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:52,382

Huh, well,

why me?

00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:53,758

Now, are you a team player

or not?

00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:55,760

Well, sure, I'm

a team player, I guess.

00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:57,554

Well, Butters, there is

no "I" in team.

00:18:57,679 --> 00:18:59,222

You mean you expect me

to go out there

00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:00,849

and let all those

horny old men

00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:02,475

have their way with

my fragile person?

00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,310

Just what team

is this anyway?

00:19:04,435 --> 00:19:05,895

Just go Butters,

we're running out of time.

00:19:06,020 --> 00:19:08,940

Oh, alright then.

00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:10,650

He's such

a dumb ass.

00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:12,652

Alright men,

here I come.

00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:16,114

I'm ready to

take one for the team.

00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:18,825

Kenny, Kenny, I've had enough

of your shenanigans!

00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:20,702

Ooh, one of the boys

just came in!

00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:23,204

I get him first!

- What the--?

00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:24,831

Oh, no!

Ahhhhh!

00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:30,211

Are you alright,

Stuart?

00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:31,504

Don't touch me.

00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:34,090

I've had my nuts broken,

body poisoned,

00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:35,758

and been made love to

in the ass

00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:37,719

by three dozen

40-year-old men.

00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:41,181

I just want to go home

and take a hot bath.

00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:42,974

We've been after you

for a long time, buddy.

00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:44,309

Do you know

your rights?

00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:46,603

Rights? Does anybody

know their rights?

00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:48,813

You see, I've learned

something today,

00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:51,107

our forefathers came

to this country

00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:53,193

because they believed

in an idea.

00:19:53,318 --> 00:19:55,278

An idea

called freedom.

00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:56,863

They wanted to live

in a place where a group

00:19:56,988 --> 00:19:58,823

couldn't be prosecuted

for their beliefs.

00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:00,909

Where a person can live

the way he chooses to live.

00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:03,286

You see us as being perverted

00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:04,704

because we're different

from you.

00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:07,040

People are afraid of us

because they don't understand.

00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:10,251

And sometimes it's easier to

persecute than to understand.

00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:13,922

Dude, you have

sex with children.

00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:15,715

We are human.

00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,426

Most of us didn't even choose

to be attracted to young boys,

00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,053

we were born

that way.

00:20:20,178 --> 00:20:21,512

We can't help

the way we are,

00:20:21,638 --> 00:20:23,765

and if you all can't

understand that, well,

00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:27,310

then I guess you'll just

have to put us away.

00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:34,651

Dude, you have

sex with children.

00:20:34,776 --> 00:20:36,110

Yeah, you know, we believe

in equality for everybody

00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:38,112

and tolerance and all

that gay stuff, but dude,

00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:38,988

fuck you.

- Seriously.

00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:40,573

Alright, that's enough,

00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:42,742

you're all going to be

put away for a long time.

00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:45,495

Well, Cartman.

- Well, what?

00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:46,746

Don't you think you

owe everyone an apology

00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:47,956

- for bringing NAMBLA here?

- Yeah!

00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:49,540

Alright,

alright.

00:20:49,666 --> 00:20:51,626

I'm sorry I almost got

you guys all raped, there.

00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:52,752

And now do you still think

you need to hang out

00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:54,420

with older mature friends?

00:20:54,545 --> 00:20:56,297

No, I guess you guys will

blossom into maturity some day,

00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:57,590

just don't

take too long.

00:20:58,967 --> 00:20:59,842

Okay, let's roll.

00:21:06,224 --> 00:21:09,143

Coo-coochie-coo

coo-coochie-coo.

00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:10,979

Our little angel,

yes.

00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:12,647

Oh, he's so beautiful!

00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:13,856

I know it's been

hard on both of us,

00:21:13,982 --> 00:21:15,316

losing poor Kenny.

00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:17,235

But this knew baby

kind of reminds me of him.

00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:18,695

What should

we name him?

00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:20,530

Well, seeing as though

Kenny passed away,

00:21:20,655 --> 00:21:22,073

maybe we should

name him...

00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:23,283

Kenny.

00:21:23,408 --> 00:21:25,451

Yes, Kenny is such

a great name.

00:21:25,576 --> 00:21:27,704

My little Kenny,

a brand-new Kenny.

00:21:30,081 --> 00:21:32,417

God, this must have been

the 50th time this has happened.

00:21:32,542 --> 00:21:33,793

52nd.

00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:12,138

♪ Gonna have

myself a time ♪

00:00:12,263 --> 00:00:13,639

♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

00:00:13,764 --> 00:00:15,433

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,558 --> 00:00:16,434

♪ Going down

to South Park ♪

00:00:16,559 --> 00:00:18,686

♪ Gonna leave my

woes behind ♪

00:00:18,811 --> 00:00:20,479

♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:22,064

♪ People spouting

"howdy neighbor" ♪

00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:23,399

♪ Headed on up

to South Park ♪

00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:25,192

♪ Gonna see if

I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,317 --> 00:00:28,696

♪ [mumbling] ♪

00:00:28,821 --> 00:00:30,114

♪ So come on down

to South Park ♪

00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:31,574

♪ And meet some

friends of mine ♪

00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:35,995

Okay Stan, I'm going

to give you...

00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:37,413

a "U.F.O.

crash-landing" card,

00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,999

you can deny it

or cover it up.

00:00:40,124 --> 00:00:41,542

Dude, I don't understand

this game at all.

00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:43,586

It's "Investigative Reports

of Bill Curtis Fun Time Game",

00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:45,087

you have to deny it

or cover it up.

00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:46,505

Uh, deny it.

00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:47,548

Okay, let's see

what Bill Curtis says.

00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:48,924

Hello, I'm Bill Curtis.

00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:50,593

Many believe that

the U.S. government

00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:52,845

covered it up,

I'm Bill Curtis.

00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:54,638

Alright, Cartman,

I'm going to give you...

00:00:54,764 --> 00:00:56,348

A "jail time card,"

you lose a turn.

00:00:56,474 --> 00:00:57,808

Sweet.

00:00:57,933 --> 00:00:59,810

Oh yeah, well, I'm

going to give you...

00:00:59,935 --> 00:01:01,145

AIDS.

00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:02,605

What?

00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:04,231

I just gave you AIDS.

- AIDS?

00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:05,900

Dude, that's not cool,

don't give Kyle AIDS.

00:01:06,025 --> 00:01:09,028

Kyle has AIDS and now loses

47 turns and 800 points.

00:01:09,153 --> 00:01:10,321

Kenny, your dad and I

00:01:10,446 --> 00:01:11,989

are thinking about

having another baby.

00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:13,449

Wouldn't you love to have

another brother or sister?

00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:14,742

No.

00:01:14,867 --> 00:01:17,661

We just might

work on it later tonight.

00:01:17,787 --> 00:01:18,913

God damn it,

poor people suck!

00:01:19,038 --> 00:01:20,706

Your family is

already on welfare

00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:22,333

and now you're going to bring

another kid into the world.

00:01:22,458 --> 00:01:23,292

Poor people are

turning out babies,

00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,086

adding on to over-population

00:01:25,211 --> 00:01:27,213

and expecting m e to pay

for it with my tax dollars.

00:01:27,338 --> 00:01:29,507

You don't pay tax dollars,

Cartman, you're eight.

00:01:29,632 --> 00:01:32,093

You see, this is just

what I've been talking about!

00:01:32,218 --> 00:01:33,761

I can't even relate to

you guys anymore

00:01:33,886 --> 00:01:34,929

because you're too immature.

- What?

00:01:35,054 --> 00:01:36,430

I've got to start

hanging out with friends

00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:38,015

that are a little more

intelligent and understand

00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:39,600

politics and stuff.

00:01:39,725 --> 00:01:41,310

It's just that I'm up

on this level, up here

00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:42,978

and all my friends

are down here.

00:01:43,104 --> 00:01:44,105

You don't know what you're

talking about, fat-ass!

00:01:44,230 --> 00:01:46,524

No, no, no,

me, "nah", you guys, "nah".

00:01:46,649 --> 00:01:48,984

Maybe more down,

down "nah".

00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:53,114

Screw you guys,

I'm going home!

00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:55,491

I'm Bill Curtis.

00:01:57,493 --> 00:01:58,828

I've outgrown

all my friends,

00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:00,412

I need to meet more

mature people, Clyde Frog.

00:02:00,538 --> 00:02:03,582

Oh, great idea,

Clyde Frog!

00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:05,543

I can meet new friends

on the internet.

00:02:07,545 --> 00:02:08,796

Here's a chat room.

00:02:08,921 --> 00:02:10,172

"men who like young boys",

that's perfect!

00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:11,966

Hi, everybody.

00:02:12,091 --> 00:02:15,219

I am a young boy seeking

an older male for good times.

00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:16,846

I am eight years old and

would like--

00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:20,057

[computer beeping]

00:02:20,182 --> 00:02:21,892

Wow, look at all these guys

that want to be my friends!

00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:24,687

I'll pick tony316.

00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:27,523

Hi, Tony.

00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:30,109

Oh, you know

the usual stuff.

00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:32,236

Smiley face.

00:02:32,361 --> 00:02:34,572

"Kewl, wanna get together?

Smiley face."

00:02:34,697 --> 00:02:37,199

Sure, Tony,

that would be cool.

00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:39,577

Winking smiley face.

00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:44,874

Sounds good,

see you then!

00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:46,792

Clown hat, curly hair,

smiley face.

00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:49,628

You see that

Clyde Frog!

00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:51,547

Tomorrow I'm going to meet

my first mature friend.

00:02:54,133 --> 00:02:55,342

Hi, are you Tony?

00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:57,970

Yeah, you're Eric?

- Yeah!

00:02:58,095 --> 00:03:00,389

I brought you some candy.

- Wow, cool!

00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:03,601

And some books

on Kama Sutra.

00:03:03,726 --> 00:03:06,061

Neato, having

older friends kicks ass!

00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:08,063

You see I've really

been having a tough time,

00:03:08,189 --> 00:03:09,857

I've kind of matured faster

than my other friends,

00:03:09,982 --> 00:03:11,317

we don't really

relate anymore and--

00:03:11,442 --> 00:03:14,612

uh, all my friends seem

so childish now, you know.

00:03:14,737 --> 00:03:17,198

Do you like having

your back rubbed?

00:03:17,323 --> 00:03:19,575

Yeah, that seems

really nice, thanks.

00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:20,659

Hold it right

there, scum bag!

00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:21,952

Huh?

00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:23,662

We monitored your little

online chat,

00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:26,707

now you're coming with us.

- No!

00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:28,459

What the hell

just happened?

00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:31,670

[moaning]

00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:33,797

You can't eat Kenny, we have

to save food for the baby.

00:03:33,923 --> 00:03:35,466

Your mom and I are going

out for a few weeks, Kenny,

00:03:35,591 --> 00:03:37,051

take care of the baby.

00:03:37,176 --> 00:03:38,677

Kenny, you have to change

the baby's diapers!

00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:40,846

You have to share

your room with the baby!

00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:42,014

Both: The baby, the baby,

the baby!

00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:44,808

Huuuh!

00:03:44,934 --> 00:03:46,393

[giggling]

Stop it.

00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:48,145

Come on, let's go try to

get you pregnant again.

00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:49,688

Oh, alright.

00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:50,773

Dad, I want

to play catch.

00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,191

Huh?

00:03:52,316 --> 00:03:53,108

Oh, I'll play catch

with you later, son.

00:03:53,234 --> 00:03:54,777

I want to play now!

00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,612

Oh, go ahead, we can

make love afterwards.

00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:58,155

Oh, alright.

00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:02,785

Alright, here comes a pop fly,

see if you can catch it.

00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,579

Good job,

now throw me one.

00:04:05,704 --> 00:04:07,873

Oh!

00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:10,000

[coughing & sputtering]

00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:11,001

Blech!

00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:12,336

What happened?

00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:13,879

He smacked me

in the balls.

00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:15,547

Oh, oh!

- Woo-hoo!

00:04:15,673 --> 00:04:16,840

Blech!

00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:21,470

Okay, we'll

try this again.

00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:29,311

This one looks good,

"HungDaddy".

00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,647

Hello, HungDaddy!

00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:35,192

Damn dude, this guy is tiny,

he must be a dwarf.

00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:37,486

Sorry, I'm not interested

in being friends with midgets.

00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,530

Frowny face.

00:04:40,656 --> 00:04:42,366

How about this one?

00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:45,911

Mr. Hammer Head?

00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:46,954

Hi, there.

00:04:47,079 --> 00:04:48,914

Mr. Garrison!

- Ahh, Eric!

00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:51,417

You want to be my friend?

- Oh, crap!

00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:52,960

That's cool, we can hang out,

what do you want to do first?

00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:54,295

Nothing, nothing!

00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:55,671

Alright, scum bag,

we got you.

00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,464

Hey, ah!

00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:58,924

Good thing

you guys came.

00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:00,801

This little boy was trying

to have his way with me.

00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:03,512

Nice try, buddy, we monitored

your little online chat,

00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,306

now you're coming with us.

- No!

00:05:05,431 --> 00:05:08,309

Why the hell does the FBI

keep arresting all my friends?

00:05:08,434 --> 00:05:09,977

This has to be the work

of Stan and Kyle.

00:05:10,102 --> 00:05:10,936

God, I hate those guys!

00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:14,148

See, I told you, dude!

00:05:14,273 --> 00:05:15,691

Those are

dialysis machines.

00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,609

Old people have to hook

themselves into it with a tube

00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:18,986

and it sucks all

their body fluids out.

00:05:19,111 --> 00:05:20,404

Oh, man,

that's terrible!

00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:21,822

I know, huh?

00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:22,948

Put your mouth against

the glass, like this.

00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:23,907

Wah!

00:05:24,033 --> 00:05:25,534

Yeah,

haaa!

00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,244

Bleh-leh-leh-leh!

00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:28,996

Wha-la-la-la-la!

00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:31,081

Alright, just what the hell

do you guys think you're doing?

00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:32,333

We're making faces

at sick people.

00:05:32,458 --> 00:05:34,960

No! I mean what

the hell are you doing?

00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:35,919

Why are all my mature

adult friends

00:05:36,045 --> 00:05:38,505

being mysteriously

arrested, huh?

00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:39,548

We don't know.

- I'll tell you why!

00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,467

Because you guys are jealous

00:05:41,592 --> 00:05:42,760

and can't handle the fact

that you're immature,

00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:45,346

and so you started a government

conspiracy against me!

00:05:45,471 --> 00:05:46,764

We don't know what you're

talking about, lard butt.

00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:48,766

Lard butt, oh,

that's so mature.

00:05:48,891 --> 00:05:50,309

God, I guess I was wrong

about you guys, huh?

00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:51,560

You're not more

mature than us, Cartman.

00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,479

Yes, I am!

00:05:55,439 --> 00:05:57,399

I'm telling you this is

all a terrible mistake,

00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,109

Officer Barbrady.

00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:01,570

Well, the FBI said

I have to hold you here,

00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,739

so that's what I'm going

to do, Mr. Complainy-pants.

00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,366

Oh!

00:06:05,491 --> 00:06:09,203

Do you like having

your back rubbed?

00:06:09,328 --> 00:06:10,287

Eat me, pervert.

00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:11,872

Okay.

00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:15,542

We demand you release

these men at once.

00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:16,794

Who are you?

00:06:16,919 --> 00:06:18,087

We are NAMBLA,

00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:20,214

the North American Man-Boy

Love Association

00:06:20,339 --> 00:06:21,173

and we heard about

these political prisoners

00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:22,758

you're keeping.

00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,885

Political prisoners?

No, these are child molesters.

00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:26,053

Loving young boys

has been around

00:06:26,178 --> 00:06:27,805

since the time

of the Romans, pal.

00:06:27,930 --> 00:06:29,181

There's nothing

wrong with it!

00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:31,058

We are an organization

dedicated to showing

00:06:31,183 --> 00:06:32,518

that sex between

a man and a young boy

00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:34,186

can be a beautiful thing!

00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:35,396

Yeah!

- Yeah!

00:06:35,521 --> 00:06:37,022

Uh, I don't know

who you are,

00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:38,315

but these men aren't

going anywhere

00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,067

until I hear

from the FBI.

00:06:40,192 --> 00:06:42,194

Hate mongerer!

Hate mongerer!

00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:43,946

[chanting]

Hate mongerer, yeah.

00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:45,739

Okay, people, I think

you'd better move along

00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:47,116

before I arrest more of you.

00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:48,826

All these men wanted

was to love a young boy,

00:06:48,951 --> 00:06:51,495

there is nothing

wrong with love.

00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:53,247

I did not want love

from a young boy,

00:06:53,372 --> 00:06:54,623

I like men

my own age.

00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,125

Ah! I mean--

00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:57,584

I like women,

what did I say?

00:06:57,709 --> 00:06:59,002

Oh, God,

I love titties!

00:06:59,128 --> 00:07:00,003

You haven't heard

the last of us, officer.

00:07:00,129 --> 00:07:02,131

Together we are strong.

Come on, men!

00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:03,132

[mumbling]

00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:05,175

Yeah!

- Yeah!

00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,594

Well, they got activists

for everything these days.

00:07:09,847 --> 00:07:11,223

I've done it, Kevin!

00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:12,766

I've successfully gene-spliced

this chipmunk

00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,101

with a piece

of provolone cheese.

00:07:15,519 --> 00:07:17,104

Do you know what

this means, Kevin?

00:07:17,229 --> 00:07:19,731

No more will the world have to

look in two different places

00:07:19,857 --> 00:07:21,525

for squirrels and

provolone cheese.

00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:22,901

No more will mankind

have to pick--

00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:24,278

[doorbell rings]

Who could that be?

00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:27,072

Why, it's little

Eric Cartman.

00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:28,490

Doctor Mephesto,

I need help.

00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:29,575

Of course,

come in.

00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:31,201

See, unfortunately,

00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:32,244

I have matured faster

than all my friends.

00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:33,120

I want to hang out

with older friends,

00:07:33,245 --> 00:07:34,663

but I can't find any.

00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:35,664

So I was wondering if you can

genetically engineer

00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,249

some older friends for me.

00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:38,625

Oh, Eric, I'm afraid

it's not that simple.

00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:41,211

Genetic engineering has not yet

evolved to the state

00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:42,963

where I can just

make people.

00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:44,590

Damn it, but I want to

hang out with older guys!

00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:47,551

Oh, well, I happen to be

a member of an organization

00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,261

that can help you.

It's called NAMBLA.

00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:50,637

NAMBLA?

00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:52,681

Yes, I've been a member

for several years.

00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,850

I'm sure they'll let you join,

you look about right.

00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,685

Okay, thanks, Doctor Mephesto!

- Sure.

00:07:58,228 --> 00:07:59,605

Fellow members

of NAMBLA,

00:07:59,730 --> 00:08:03,275

as you know, we continue

to be discriminated against.

00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,819

Recently the FBI

has started to arrest men

00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:07,863

who are doing nothing more

than than trying to start

00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,615

a sexual relationship

with a young boy.

00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:11,533

All: Oh!

00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,410

And now that all ethnic

groups, homosexuals and womens

00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:14,995

are protected under

civil rights laws,

00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,997

we want the same!

00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:18,999

All: Yeah!

- Yeah!

00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:20,334

What we need is proof

that young boys

00:08:20,459 --> 00:08:21,668

want be members of NAMBLA.

00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:23,545

That they want

love from us.

00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:26,256

We need a poster child.

00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:28,759

To show the world that it is a

beautiful and wonderful thing--

00:08:28,884 --> 00:08:29,885

ooooh.

00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,304

Can we help you?

00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:34,097

Yes, I'd like to join

your fine organization,

00:08:34,223 --> 00:08:35,390

is that cool?

00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:37,184

You do?

- Sure.

00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:40,020

Thank you!

Thank you, Jesus!

00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:42,022

Sweet.

00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:47,319

Whah!

00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:48,779

Bleh!

- Bleh!

00:08:48,904 --> 00:08:50,614

Le-le-le-le!

Buh!

00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:52,783

Well, Kenny,

the doctor confirmed it.

00:08:52,908 --> 00:08:54,368

I'm pregnant!

00:08:54,493 --> 00:08:55,577

You're going to have

a little brother or sister.

00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:58,956

[gasp]

- Yup, it's for sure.

00:08:59,081 --> 00:09:01,041

And he fixed my shattered

left testicle, too.

00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:02,417

Don't be out

too late, Kenny.

00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:04,127

We need to start moving

stuff out of your room.

00:09:04,253 --> 00:09:07,089

Wow, your mom's

pregnant, Kenny!

00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:08,715

Yeah, now what are

you going to do?

00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,802

I don't know, but I have to

think of something!

00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:12,844

♪ Nyah-nyah-nyah ♪

00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:13,971

♪ Nyah-nyah-nyah ♪

00:09:14,096 --> 00:09:15,305

♪ I got

into NAMBLA ♪

00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:17,140

♪ And you guys didn't ♪

00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:18,684

What are you

talking about, fat-ass?

00:09:18,809 --> 00:09:20,644

Oh, no big deal, I just found

a group called NAMBLA

00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:22,896

with adult members and they all

think that I'm so mature

00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:25,691

they want m e to be their

new poster child, is all.

00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:28,151

It looks like I'm finally

going to have mature friends

00:09:28,277 --> 00:09:29,570

who I can relate to.

00:09:29,695 --> 00:09:30,737

♪ Nyah-nyah-nyah

nyah-nyah-nyah ♪

00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:32,239

♪ I'm too mature

for you guys ♪

00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:33,448

♪ Nyah-nyah-nyah

nyah-nyah-nyah ♪

00:09:36,702 --> 00:09:37,494

Can I help you,

young lady?

00:09:37,619 --> 00:09:39,746

[muffled mumbling]

00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:41,540

Oh, you want "morning after"

abortion pills.

00:09:41,665 --> 00:09:43,584

Well, they're right over there.

- Thanks!

00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:56,346

I'm sorry,

young lady,

00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:57,598

but I can't sell that to you

00:09:57,723 --> 00:09:58,724

without permission

from your parents.

00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,605

Well, alrighty then,

cash or charge?

00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:05,606

Cool.

00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:19,369

Look, mom, I made you

something to drink.

00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:21,288

Oh, well, that's

very sweet of you, Kenny,

00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:22,998

you made my favorite

drink for me.

00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,083

Yeah.

00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:27,419

But, unfortunately, now

that I'm pregnant I can't drink.

00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:29,087

What?

- Well, I could still drink.

00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:30,088

No, Daddy.

00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,051

Oh, that hits

the spot.

00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:36,720

Makes me forget all about

my shattered balls.

00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,724

What, what's

the matter?

00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,559

Why don't you go

make me another one of--

00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:45,228

Oh!

00:10:45,354 --> 00:10:47,230

What's the matter?

- Uh-oh!

00:10:47,356 --> 00:10:50,150

Oh God, I'm gonna

crap my pants!

00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,943

Oh, God!

00:10:52,069 --> 00:10:54,112

[bodily noises]

00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:56,073

Oh, my balls.

00:10:56,198 --> 00:10:57,074

Blech!

00:10:57,199 --> 00:11:00,077

[more noises]

00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:02,704

Oh, God!

00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:05,749

[even more bodily noises]

00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:12,339

Just a few more

pictures, Eric.

00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,257

You make a perfect

poster child.

00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:15,300

Thanks, dude.

00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:20,180

Hey, Eric, we have

a surprise for you.

00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:21,890

We want you to have

a big dinner and dance

00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,684

honoring you as

our new poster child.

00:11:23,809 --> 00:11:25,727

Really, awesome!

00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,854

Yes, and we want you

to, umm...

00:11:27,979 --> 00:11:30,357

Invite all your

young male friends.

00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:32,275

Oh, yes.

Aww!

00:11:32,401 --> 00:11:34,528

Well, sure, I have some

friends who want to be mature

00:11:34,653 --> 00:11:36,363

excluding Stan and Kyle,

of course.

00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:38,323

Great, now you go and

invite your little friends

00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:39,533

and we'll get

the hotel ready.

00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:41,368

Kick-ass!

00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:44,955

Kenny, don't forget

to clean out your room,

00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:47,624

so we can paint it

for the baby!

00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:50,001

Hey, are you feeling down,

you need some excitement!

00:11:50,127 --> 00:11:52,170

And North Park Funland has

just opened its newest ride,

00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:54,172

the John Denver Experience!

00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:56,425

You'll be "Rocky Mountain High"

with this,

00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:59,094

the most extreme,

insane ride ever built!

00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:01,430

Both: It was fun.

00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:03,223

Note: People with heart

conditions and expectant mothers

00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:06,101

should not ride "The John

Denver," open now, come on down!

00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:07,102

Mom!

00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:12,607

Are you sure you should be

going on this thing?

00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,359

Oh, it's alright.

00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:15,527

You know, I think maybe

Kenny's been a little worried

00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,112

about the new baby,

00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,363

we have to show him that

he's still our little boy.

00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:24,202

[distorted mumbling]

00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:30,041

What'd he say?

00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:37,299

[screaming]

00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:40,093

Whoa!

00:12:41,470 --> 00:12:42,596

[screaming]

00:12:45,182 --> 00:12:47,017

[distorted mumbling]

00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:51,855

Oh, God, my nose,

I think I broke my nose.

00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:53,607

Come on, Stuart, let's just

get you to a bathroom.

00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:56,067

Oh, I'm not going to make it,

I'm going to be sick.

00:12:56,193 --> 00:12:58,361

Oh, my stomach.

00:12:58,487 --> 00:13:00,489

Oh, my nose.

00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:01,782

Gross.

00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:12,292

Oh, Stan and Kyle, just

the guys I wanted to see,

00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:13,752

my NAMBLA organization

00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:15,337

is having a very important

benefit in my honor.

00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,047

They are?

00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:18,632

We're going to have a big

mature party at this hotel

00:13:18,757 --> 00:13:20,842

and I can invite all

my mature friends that I want.

00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,636

And that means I'm going

to invite everybody,

00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:24,679

except for

you guys!

00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:27,808

♪ Nyah-nyah-nyah

nyah-nyah-nyah ♪

00:13:27,933 --> 00:13:29,518

We don't want to go to some

stupid adult meeting anyway.

00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:30,685

Well, that's nice,

because you can't go.

00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:31,686

We don't

want to go.

00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:32,687

You can't go.

00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:33,897

We don't want

to go.

00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:35,565

No, you can't go.

00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:38,276

Hey, Clyde, Butters,

check this out!

00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:40,487

Dude, maybe we do need to

start being more mature.

00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:42,656

Yeah, I guess we've got to

try to get in that club, too.

00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:46,910

[moaning]

00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:47,828

You're doing fine,

Ms. McCormick.

00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:49,412

It's alright, Kenny.

00:13:49,538 --> 00:13:50,705

Come see

the miracle of life.

00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:53,166

[splat]

Ewww!

00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:54,709

I can see his head.

- You can?

00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:55,710

Push now,

push hard!

00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:57,671

[splat]

00:13:57,796 --> 00:13:58,672

Oh, my God!

00:13:58,797 --> 00:13:59,756

[screaming]

00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:00,799

What is it?

00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:03,510

It's alive!

00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,932

Oh, my God!

It killed Kenny!

00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:10,684

Bad baby, bad!

00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:12,894

Hmm?

00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:15,105

That does it!

00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:20,986

Oh, hi, Kenny,

what are you doing?

00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:25,031

What are you

doing Kenny?

00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:29,703

Kenny, what are you

going to plunge?

00:14:29,828 --> 00:14:30,996

Grrrrr!

00:14:31,121 --> 00:14:32,789

Ahhhh!

00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:33,790

Kenny, what the

hell are you doing?

00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:47,512

What the hell?

00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:48,847

Hey, what the hell

are you guys doing here?

00:14:48,972 --> 00:14:50,181

This is for

mature people only.

00:14:50,307 --> 00:14:51,433

We got invited too,

fat-ass.

00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:52,767

Well, I guess nowadays

00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:54,102

they allow any old schmucks

into NAMBLA.

00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,854

Fellow NAMBLA members,

00:14:55,979 --> 00:14:57,647

it is great to see

you all here.

00:14:57,772 --> 00:14:59,441

It seems like we have

finally found a city

00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:00,442

that won't oppress us!

00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,235

Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah!

00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:05,113

First and foremost,

I want to recognize Eric Cartman

00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:08,074

for putting us in touch with

all you pretty young boys.

00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:09,659

Thank you, thank you

very much, thank you.

00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:11,119

Now, I know that many of us

00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,704

have already found partners

in this fine city

00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:14,581

and I'd like to take a minute

00:15:14,706 --> 00:15:16,374

to hear some testimonials

from members.

00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:17,834

This is boring.

- Yeah.

00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:19,085

Hey, when are we going to

get to some action, huh?

00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:21,046

Oooh!

- Ha-ha!

00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:23,298

Goodness,

what a gift from God.

00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:26,217

We'll get "to it" very soon,

I'll assure you.

00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:27,510

But first,

I'd just like to hear

00:15:27,636 --> 00:15:29,012

from a couple of you

on your progress.

00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:30,513

Yes, Patrick.

00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:33,683

I found a little

eight-year-old named Butters,

00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:36,186

he's a beautiful

bright little boy.

00:15:36,311 --> 00:15:37,896

Well, I sure am,

I guess.

00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:40,690

And his skin is as soft

as fresh linen.

00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:42,275

Ooh!

Ooh! Ooh!

00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,693

That seems

kind of weird.

00:15:43,818 --> 00:15:45,654

Well, my skin is "springtime"

soft, I suppose.

00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:46,780

Wonderful.

00:15:46,905 --> 00:15:48,323

And how about you

Mr. Harris?

00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:49,866

Well, I want to announce

00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:51,743

that I may have found

the dream boy of the decade,

00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:54,996

he's sexy and sassy

and full of spunk.

00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:55,997

His name is Timmy.

00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:58,667

Timmy!

Tim-my?

00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:00,502

Well, members,

I know we're all eager

00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,045

to get acquainted with

our new partners.

00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:05,215

So why don't we turn down

the lights and start the dance.

00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:08,218

[light dance music]

00:16:08,343 --> 00:16:11,596

♪♪

00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:12,889

Alright, I want these

perverted bastards

00:16:13,014 --> 00:16:14,516

all taken in, got it?

- All: Got it.

00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:15,934

Fellow NAMBLA members,

00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:17,394

as the South Park

representative--

00:16:17,519 --> 00:16:18,895

Hold it right there!

- Nobody move!

00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:20,230

What's going on?

00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:22,649

Alright, sickos,

where are the children?

00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:25,151

What children?

- This is NAMBLA, right?

00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:26,903

Yes.

00:16:27,028 --> 00:16:28,571

"The North American

Man-Boy Love Association".

00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:30,281

What? No!

00:16:30,407 --> 00:16:32,659

We're "The North American

Marlon Brando Look-a-likes."

00:16:34,369 --> 00:16:35,662

Oh, crap, we've got

the wrong NAMBLA.

00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:37,622

Oh, damn it,

I'm in the wrong place!

00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:39,499

Don't tell me that

other NAMBLA

00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:41,292

is actually in South Park.

- You know of them?

00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:42,711

Know of them?

00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:43,753

We've been fighting with them

for years

00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:45,255

over the rights

to NAMBLA.com.

00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:47,298

Yeah, those

perverted bastards!

00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:49,884

Wow, you guys really do

look a lot like Marlon Brando.

00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,594

Thank you.

00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:52,679

Now, let's go get those

other NAMBLA bastards

00:16:52,804 --> 00:16:54,180

before they hurt any

South Park children!

00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:55,974

Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah!

00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:58,268

And let's kick their asses

for stealing our domain name!

00:16:58,393 --> 00:16:59,394

Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah!

00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,315

Alright, members,

that's enough of that.

00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:06,693

It's time for for us all to

retire to our respective rooms

00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:08,695

and get to know

our new young boys.

00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:10,697

Alright!

00:17:10,822 --> 00:17:13,241

Dude, being mature is boring.

- Yeah!

00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,243

Everyone come up and

grab your room keys

00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:16,745

and we'll head upstairs.

00:17:20,749 --> 00:17:23,626

[man singing in french]

00:17:23,752 --> 00:17:25,003

♪♪

00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:27,714

[screaming]

00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:28,965

Dude, I think

these guys mean to have

00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:30,467

sexual encounters with us!

00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:32,802

I know dude, let's get

the hell out of here!

00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:34,512

Ah! There's more

of them, quick hide!

00:17:37,307 --> 00:17:38,933

Alright, Marlon Brandos!

00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:40,643

They've got to be here

somewhere, let's try this room.

00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:42,896

Let's get those perverts.

00:17:45,023 --> 00:17:47,442

Ah!

- Sacre bleu!

00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:48,818

Whoa!

00:17:48,943 --> 00:17:50,570

Ahhh!

Ahhh!

00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:51,571

Kenny, no!

Leave me alone!

00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:52,989

Mmm-hmm-mmm.

00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:54,324

[grumbling]

00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:56,826

Kenny!

00:17:56,951 --> 00:18:00,121

This time I will

not drop the food.

00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:01,623

Where's the boys?

00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:04,667

Sacre bleu!

00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:06,669

I think the boys

went in here.

00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:08,213

Ah!

00:18:09,339 --> 00:18:10,632

[dog barking]

00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:12,550

Maybe the boys

are in here, oh, boys!

00:18:12,675 --> 00:18:15,303

Ah!

00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:16,554

Alright, you're

under arrest!

00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:18,181

No, you've got

the wrong NAMBLA again.

00:18:18,306 --> 00:18:19,599

Damn it!

00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:21,142

Hey, we didn't

try that room.

00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:22,310

[bell ringing]

00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,479

Sacre bleu.

00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:25,855

Dude, we're

surrounded by perverts.

00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:26,898

They're all over

the place.

00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:27,941

Timmy!

00:18:28,066 --> 00:18:29,275

What are we

going to do?

00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:30,819

Well, Cartman, you got

everybody into this,

00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:32,612

you have to figure out a way

to get everybody out.

00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:33,613

Yeah!

- Uhh, that's fine.

00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:34,364

I know how

to get us out.

00:18:34,489 --> 00:18:36,241

How?

00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:38,576

Well, look, those perverts

aren't going to rest

00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:40,954

until they've made love

to one of us, right?

00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:43,039

So somebody is just going

to have to go out there

00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:45,083

and take one

for the team.

00:18:47,252 --> 00:18:49,462

And I think in all fairness,

it should be Butters.

00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:52,382

Huh, well,

why me?

00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:53,758

Now, are you a team player

or not?

00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:55,760

Well, sure, I'm

a team player, I guess.

00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:57,554

Well, Butters, there is

no "I" in team.

00:18:57,679 --> 00:18:59,222

You mean you expect me

to go out there

00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:00,849

and let all those

horny old men

00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:02,475

have their way with

my fragile person?

00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,310

Just what team

is this anyway?

00:19:04,435 --> 00:19:05,895

Just go Butters,

we're running out of time.

00:19:06,020 --> 00:19:08,940

Oh, alright then.

00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:10,650

He's such

a dumb ass.

00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:12,652

Alright men,

here I come.

00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:16,114

I'm ready to

take one for the team.

00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:18,825

Kenny, Kenny, I've had enough

of your shenanigans!

00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:20,702

Ooh, one of the boys

just came in!

00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:23,204

I get him first!

- What the--?

00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:24,831

Oh, no!

Ahhhhh!

00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:30,211

Are you alright,

Stuart?

00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:31,504

Don't touch me.

00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:34,090

I've had my nuts broken,

body poisoned,

00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:35,758

and been made love to

in the ass

00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:37,719

by three dozen

40-year-old men.

00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:41,181

I just want to go home

and take a hot bath.

00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:42,974

We've been after you

for a long time, buddy.

00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:44,309

Do you know

your rights?

00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:46,603

Rights? Does anybody

know their rights?

00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:48,813

You see, I've learned

something today,

00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:51,107

our forefathers came

to this country

00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:53,193

because they believed

in an idea.

00:19:53,318 --> 00:19:55,278

An idea

called freedom.

00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:56,863

They wanted to live

in a place where a group

00:19:56,988 --> 00:19:58,823

couldn't be prosecuted

for their beliefs.

00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:00,909

Where a person can live

the way he chooses to live.

00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:03,286

You see us as being perverted

00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:04,704

because we're different

from you.

00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:07,040

People are afraid of us

because they don't understand.

00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:10,251

And sometimes it's easier to

persecute than to understand.

00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:13,922

Dude, you have

sex with children.

00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:15,715

We are human.

00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,426

Most of us didn't even choose

to be attracted to young boys,

00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,053

we were born

that way.

00:20:20,178 --> 00:20:21,512

We can't help

the way we are,

00:20:21,638 --> 00:20:23,765

and if you all can't

understand that, well,

00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:27,310

then I guess you'll just

have to put us away.

00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:34,651

Dude, you have

sex with children.

00:20:34,776 --> 00:20:36,110

Yeah, you know, we believe

in equality for everybody

00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:38,112

and tolerance and all

that gay stuff, but dude,

00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:38,988

fuck you.

- Seriously.

00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:40,573

Alright, that's enough,

00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:42,742

you're all going to be

put away for a long time.

00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:45,495

Well, Cartman.

- Well, what?

00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:46,746

Don't you think you

owe everyone an apology

00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:47,956

for bringing NAMBLA here?

- All: Yeah!

00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:49,540

Alright,

alright.

00:20:49,666 --> 00:20:51,626

I'm sorry I almost got

you guys all raped, there.

00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:52,752

And now do you still think

you need to hang out

00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:54,420

with older mature friends?

00:20:54,545 --> 00:20:56,297

No, I guess you guys will

blossom into maturity some day,

00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:57,590

just don't

take too long.

00:20:58,967 --> 00:20:59,842

Okay, let's roll.

00:20:59,968 --> 00:21:02,845

[siren wailing]

00:21:06,224 --> 00:21:09,143

Coo-coochie-coo

coo-coochie-coo.

00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:10,979

Our little angel,

yes.

00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:12,647

Oh, he's so beautiful!

00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:13,856

I know it's been

hard on both of us,

00:21:13,982 --> 00:21:15,316

losing poor Kenny.

00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:17,235

But this knew baby

kind of reminds me of him.

00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:18,695

What should

we name him?

00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:20,530

Well, seeing as though

Kenny passed away,

00:21:20,655 --> 00:21:22,073

maybe we should

name him...

00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:23,283

Kenny.

00:21:23,408 --> 00:21:25,451

Yes, Kenny is such

a great name.

00:21:25,576 --> 00:21:27,704

My little Kenny,

a brand-new Kenny.

00:21:27,829 --> 00:21:29,956

[gurgling]

00:21:30,081 --> 00:21:32,417

God, this must have been

the 50th time this has happened.

00:21:32,542 --> 00:21:33,793

52nd.

00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:36,796

[man singing in french]

00:21:36,921 --> 00:21:44,804

♪♪