Тупое преступление Картмана 2000 — Картман кидает камнем в Токена, что расценивается как расовая нетерпимость. Он попадает в тюрьму.

Предыдущая серия S04 E01 Зуб за зуб зубной феи 2000

Следующая серия S04 E03 Тимми 2000

Тупое преступление Картмана 2000

Cartman's Silly Hate Crime 2000

Сезон: 04Серия: 02

Описание

Картман кидает камнем в Токена, что расценивается как расовая нетерпимость. Он попадает в тюрьму.

Субтитры

00:00:09,802 --> 00:00:11,345 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:00:11,387 --> 00:00:13,222 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:14,974 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:15,099 --> 00:00:16,767 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:18,144 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:00:18,269 --> 00:00:20,062 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:21,731 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:21,856 --> 00:00:23,357 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:24,650 ♪ Headin' on up to South Park ♪
00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:26,569 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:31,282 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
00:00:31,407 --> 00:00:32,575 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:38,748 --> 00:00:40,374 Okay, are you guys ready up there?
00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:41,459 Ready!
00:00:41,584 --> 00:00:43,919 On your marks, get set, go!
00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:47,673 We win again! - That's not fair!
00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:50,342 Cartman's ass is so fat, he makes your sled go faster.
00:00:50,468 --> 00:00:51,719 Hey, don't call me fat, Token.
00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:53,804 We want to use the sleds now, butt pirates.
00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:54,847 Sleds are for guys.
00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:56,390 Yeah, why don't you chicks
00:00:56,515 --> 00:00:58,184 go wash some dishes or get pregnant or something?
00:00:58,309 --> 00:01:00,436 These are the school's sleds, ass farmers, not yours.
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:01,937 Look, girls don't even know how to sled.
00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:03,606 - Do something else. - Yeah!
00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,149 I bet we can slide ten times better than you,
00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:06,150 donut punchers.
00:01:06,275 --> 00:01:07,818 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah!
00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:09,195 We'd kick your girlie asses sledding!
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,654 How about a race down a real hill then?
00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:11,655 Yeah!
00:01:11,781 --> 00:01:13,282 - You got it! - Yeah!
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,785 Your best four sledders against our best four sledders.
00:01:15,910 --> 00:01:17,078 No problem.
00:01:17,203 --> 00:01:18,079 Then we'll see you this Saturday
00:01:18,204 --> 00:01:19,497 on Phil Collins Hill.
00:01:19,622 --> 00:01:20,581 Phil Collins Hill on Saturday.
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:21,957 You got it! See you there.
00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:24,877 And may the best woman win, turd burglars!
00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:26,629 Oh, boy! We'll show them!
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,923 Yeah, why, those men will show those skanky hoes who's who!
00:01:29,048 --> 00:01:31,008 Yeah, those girls don't realize what good sledders
00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:32,593 Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are.
00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:34,220 Yeah, and with Cartman's enormously fat ass,
00:01:34,345 --> 00:01:35,805 the boys are sure to win!
00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:37,640 Token, I swear to God, you call me fat one more time,
00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:39,391 I'm gonna smack you in the head with this rock.
00:01:39,517 --> 00:01:41,769 Fat ass. - Ow!
00:01:41,894 --> 00:01:44,438 Heh. Oh. Uh-oh.
00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:45,981 And what you need to understand
00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:48,984 is that this is not appropriate behavior, young man, mm-kay?
00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:50,528 Eric, don't you realize you could have
00:01:50,653 --> 00:01:52,154 seriously injured your little friend?
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:53,739 I'm sorry, ma'am.
00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:55,783 Don't apologize to us. Apologize to him.
00:01:55,908 --> 00:01:57,368 I'm sorry, Token.
00:01:57,493 --> 00:01:58,702 Well, I hope you learned
00:01:58,828 --> 00:02:00,538 that throwing rocks at people is bad, Eric.
00:02:00,663 --> 00:02:03,165 I sure did, Mr. Mackey. I mean, I feel really bad.
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:04,667 What was I thinking?
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:07,211 The only thing I can do now is try to go on
00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:08,254 and live day by day.
00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:09,255 See you later!
00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:10,881 Not this time, Eric.
00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:12,758 You've got to learn to respect your little friends.
00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:15,177 You're gonna have detention for two weeks.
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,847 No way! - Yes way, mm-kay?
00:02:17,972 --> 00:02:19,223 And that settles it! Now, let's all go--
00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:21,058 Counselor Mackey? - Yes?
00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:22,977 I'm Agent Sharp, and this is Agent Keen.
00:02:23,102 --> 00:02:24,895 We're with the FBI.
00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:28,774 We're here to investigate the rock-throwing incident.
00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:30,776 Well, okay, I've already taken care of it.
00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:32,194 Eric Cartman, here, is gonna be punished
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,863 with two weeks of detention.
00:02:33,988 --> 00:02:35,447 I'm afraid it's a bit more complicated than that,
00:02:35,573 --> 00:02:36,740 Mr. School Counselor.
00:02:36,866 --> 00:02:38,242 You see, since the victim in this case
00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:43,372 Is African-American, this is considered a hate crime.
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,040 What the hell is a hate crime?
00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:46,667 Uh, oh. But I don't think this is--
00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:48,169 New laws have been passed that make any crime
00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:49,753 based on race, ethnicity,
00:02:49,879 --> 00:02:51,422 or sexual orientation a federal offense.
00:02:51,547 --> 00:02:53,007 What? A federal offense?
00:02:53,132 --> 00:02:54,758 Oh, no. - Oh, no?
00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:56,969 We're sorry, Ms. Cartman, but we must follow protocol.
00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:58,470 Your son will be taken into custody
00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:02,183 and then tried in the federal court of law.
00:03:02,308 --> 00:03:03,976 Oh, my goodness!
00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:06,437 The hate crime trial of the century is under way,
00:03:06,562 --> 00:03:08,314 and Court TV takes you there. Live!
00:03:08,439 --> 00:03:10,191 Here's your host, Leslie Smith.
00:03:10,316 --> 00:03:12,401 What turns a normal, fat little eight-year-old boy
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,695 into a vicious, hate-crime-committing racist?
00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,405 We take you live to the courtroom
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:18,741 as the defendant takes the stand.
00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:21,827 Mr. Cartman, do you know a boy by the name of Token?
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,913 Uh, yes. - Who is Token?
00:03:24,038 --> 00:03:25,956 He's a black kid that goes to my school.
00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:28,667 Black! Did you say "black"? You called him "black"?
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,961 He is black. - Oh, he said it again!
00:03:32,004 --> 00:03:33,005 He is African-American,
00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:34,173 and so you decided to pick him out.
00:03:34,298 --> 00:03:35,716 I did?
00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:37,343 The rage built and built inside your head
00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:38,636 until it became too much,
00:03:38,761 --> 00:03:40,471 because you hate African-Americans!
00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:41,805 No! I hate hippies! - What?
00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:43,390 I hate hippies and the way they always talk
00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:45,643 about protecting the Earth and then drive around in cars
00:03:45,768 --> 00:03:47,770 that get poor gas mileage and wear those stupid bracelets!
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,355 I hate them! I want to kick them in the nuts!
00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:50,564 Ooh, poopy-kins--
00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:52,066 Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:54,443 this is why we have hate crime laws.
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,070 This monster committed a crime,
00:03:56,195 --> 00:03:58,948 not against an individual but against a race.
00:03:59,073 --> 00:04:00,241 Do the democratic thing
00:04:00,366 --> 00:04:02,326 and send his fat little butt to prison.
00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:03,744 Hey! Don't call me fat, asshole!
00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:05,788 The prosecution rests.
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:07,915 Don't forget; we still have that sledding race
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,500 this Saturday, pillow biters.
00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:10,960 We know. - Dude, this is horrible.
00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:12,336 We got to get Cartman out of court
00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:14,129 so we can go practice.
00:04:14,255 --> 00:04:16,006 Eric Cartman, you have been found guilty
00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:17,424 of committing a hate crime.
00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:19,009 For this, I hereby sentence you
00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:21,845 to the Alamosa Juvenile Hall until you turn 21.
00:04:21,971 --> 00:04:23,097 No!
00:04:23,222 --> 00:04:24,765 I am making an example of you
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:27,268 to send a message out to people everywhere
00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:29,812 that if you want to hurt another human being,
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,146 you better make damn sure
00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:33,691 they're the same color as you are.
00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:38,404 Court is adjourned.
00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:40,197 Yahoo! Hooray!
00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:42,324 Bailiffs, escort this little bastard to juvenile hall.
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:43,909 Yes, sir.
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:46,578 Alright, you! Uh, where'd he go?
00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:50,791 Kenny! Kenny!
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,543 You have to get me out of town!
00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:54,295 They're gonna put me in jail for a hate crime.
00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:56,297 You have to take me to Mexico! - Mexico?
00:04:56,422 --> 00:04:57,464 Ooh!
00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:59,008 Calm down, Kenny! - Hey!
00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:00,634 Do you still have that battery-powered toy truck
00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:01,635 you got last Christmas?
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:02,636 Yeah. - Well, come on.
00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:03,637 I don't have much time!
00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:15,899 A car chase is evolving
00:05:16,025 --> 00:05:18,193 on the 285 Corridor east of South Park.
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:19,778 Hate crime suspect Eric Cartman
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:21,697 is trying to outrun federal prosecutors
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,657 in his friend's Go-Go Action Bronco.
00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:25,284 Our eye in the sky, Greg Nimens, is there live.
00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:26,869 Greg?
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:28,454 Tom, it looks like the Go-Go Action Bronco
00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:30,414 is heading east on 285.
00:05:30,539 --> 00:05:32,291 Police officers are right behind him,
00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:33,375 but as with any chase,
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:34,877 they're keeping a safe distance
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,420 to avoid any accidents here out on the highway.
00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:38,505 Tom, it looks like the fugitive is going to make a bold move
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,090 off an exit of 285.
00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:41,842 He's going into a residential neighborhood now.
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:43,385 This is where it could get dangerous
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:44,928 as there are pedestrians about.
00:05:45,054 --> 00:05:46,638 Damn it, Kenny! Can't this thing go any faster?
00:05:46,764 --> 00:05:47,931 I'm going as fast as I can.
00:05:48,057 --> 00:05:49,266 Tom, the police have set a roadblock
00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:51,310 right where the Go-Go Action Bronco is heading.
00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:53,228 This could be the final standoff.
00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:54,897 Alright, that's far enough.
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:57,733 Stop the Go-Go Action Bronco and come out with your hands up.
00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:01,737 Just bring it to a stop and come on out.
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:06,992 Jesus! He's gonna ram it!
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:23,884 Crazy son of a bitch.
00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:26,220 Well, it's been over 13 hours now,
00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:28,263 and still the car chase has not ended.
00:06:28,389 --> 00:06:29,932 What the hell are they doing?
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,558 The chase has now moved through most of Arizona
00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:32,893 and nears the Mexican border.
00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:34,561 Dude, if Kenny takes Cartman to Mexico,
00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:36,730 how are we ever gonna win the sledding race on Saturday?
00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:38,148 Don't worry, dude; that little truck
00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:39,441 just runs on "D" batteries.
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:40,818 It's gonna run out of juice soon.
00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:43,695 We're gonna make it, Kenny!
00:06:43,821 --> 00:06:44,822 We're gonna make it to Mexico!
00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:49,493 Oh, God damn it!
00:06:54,415 --> 00:06:55,874 Hello?
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:57,793 Cartman's going to jail,
00:06:57,918 --> 00:07:00,504 and you've got four days until the race, rump rangers.
00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:02,131 Son of a bitch!
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,847 Here we are. The end of the road.
00:07:40,419 --> 00:07:43,797 Prisoner 24601, arriving.
00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:45,007 Forward, prisoner.
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:47,176 You will wake up each morning at 0500.
00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:49,595 Lockdown is until 0900.
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:50,971 At 10:00, we begin random searches
00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:52,639 and checks for contraband.
00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:56,310 At 11:30, we have nap time, followed by finger painting.
00:07:56,435 --> 00:07:59,188 Your cellmate is Romper Stomper.
00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:01,398 Romper Stomper? - Not Romper.
00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:02,983 Who's Romper Stomper?
00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:05,486 I am.
00:08:05,611 --> 00:08:07,988 And I don't want no new cellmate.
00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,656 You don't have a choice, Stomper.
00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:11,950 Now, show this new prisoner the ropes.
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:15,496 Oh, I will. You bet your ass I will.
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,373 Alright, guys, it looks like
00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:20,042 Cartman's not gonna be able to sled with us
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:22,044 for about another...13 years, so in the meantime,
00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:24,296 we need someone to race with us against the girls on Saturday.
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:26,173 Yeah, Cartman's weight was what gave us speed,
00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:29,134 so we need to find the next fattest kid besides Cartman.
00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:31,803 Come on, who's the second fattest kid in South Park?
00:08:31,929 --> 00:08:33,847 I think Clyde is the next fattest kid.
00:08:33,972 --> 00:08:34,890 Huh? - Yeah.
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,225 Okay, get over here, Clyde.
00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:37,726 I'm not fat. - Deal with it, dude.
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,019 Cartman's gone, so now you're the fat kid.
00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:41,021 Yeah, fat-ass. Get your fat butt on the sled.
00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:42,981 Hey, I'm not fat, you guys. I'm just kind of big-boned.
00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:44,358 Yeah, that's what they all say.
00:08:44,483 --> 00:08:45,776 Okay, ready? Go!
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:49,696 Aw, gay, dude!
00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:51,698 We don't even have enough weight to move.
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:53,450 See you Saturday, poo stabbers.
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:54,701 Nice going, fat boy.
00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:59,831 Well, well, well. New fish.
00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:01,250 How about you come up with a reason
00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:02,751 why we don't break your arms?
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,211 Yeah!
00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:05,671 Uh, 'cause I'm just like you guys.
00:09:05,796 --> 00:09:06,672 I'm one of you.
00:09:06,797 --> 00:09:07,714 Oh, yeah?
00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:09,132 The way I see it,
00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:10,342 There's two kinds of kids in the world:
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:12,135 kids who like <i>Animaniacs</i>
00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:14,680 and kids who don't like <i>Animaniacs.</i>
00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:16,223 You're either with us, or you're against us.
00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:17,641 So which are you?
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:21,019 Oh, uh, well, personally, I--
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:23,564 Uh...I...
00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:27,192 Don't like <i>Animaniacs?</i>
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:29,653 Neither do we. - Oh, thank you, Jesus.
00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:31,196 So we're friends now? - No.
00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:33,073 There's no friends in the big house.
00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:35,826 You come in with nobody, and you leave with nobody.
00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:38,078 - We don't believe in "friends." - Yeah!
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:40,330 Yeah, neither do I. Friends suck.
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:42,124 Now, go find me some cigarettes,
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,042 and I'll tell you how to bust out of here.
00:09:46,545 --> 00:09:48,463 Okay, we figured it out.
00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:50,507 To add more weight to the sled, we're gonna use these bricks.
00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,259 But we're gonna cover them with kids' clothes
00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:53,760 so that the girls think it's another kid.
00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:55,095 Oh, that's a wonderful idea.
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,471 So I don't get to be on the team now?
00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:58,056 Shut up, fat-ass.
00:09:58,181 --> 00:09:59,433 Yeah, why don't you go eat some more pork rinds
00:09:59,558 --> 00:10:00,934 or something, you fat fuck?
00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:04,563 Come on. Let's give it a try.
00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:05,814 Whee!
00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:09,818 Whoa! Look out! Look out!
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:12,154 Dude, bail! Bail! - Whoa!
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:13,155 Huh?
00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:20,662 Oh, my God. We killed Kenny.
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:21,872 We killed Kenny?
00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:24,041 We killed Kenny. We're bastards.
00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:25,542 Well, that didn't work. What else can we try?
00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:26,918 Nothing else is gonna work.
00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:28,754 We have to face the fact that without Cartman,
00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:30,047 we're gonna lose to a bunch of girls.
00:10:30,172 --> 00:10:32,591 Well, I sure do hate to see my gender lose
00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:33,925 to a bunch of women.
00:10:34,051 --> 00:10:35,761 This is a sad day for men everywhere.
00:10:35,886 --> 00:10:37,304 You know something, guys?
00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:38,889 I think we all took Cartman's ass for granted.
00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:39,890 Yup.
00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:41,350 If only we had realized
00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:43,226 how special our time with his gigantic ass was.
00:10:43,352 --> 00:10:44,936 And all that time, we didn't understand
00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:47,648 what a unique and magical ass it was.
00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:49,524 Whoo-hoo! Great time, girls!
00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,485 Oh, gee, looks like you lost another sledder.
00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:54,529 Good luck on Saturday, donut punchers!
00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:56,239 That does it! We've got no other choice.
00:10:56,365 --> 00:10:57,866 We've got to bust Cartman out of jail.
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,201 - Huh? - How?
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:00,827 I saw a movie once where they baked a cake
00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:02,329 and put a nail file inside of it.
00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:05,415 Sweet! Let's go!
00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:10,962 And have you been brushing your teeth?
00:11:11,088 --> 00:11:13,382 Yes, Mommy. - And not dropping your soap?
00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:14,925 Yes, Mommy. - Hi, Mom.
00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:16,426 Young man, that is the fourth time
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:17,886 you've been late for our visiting time.
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:18,887 You are grounded.
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:19,888 Grounded? Oh, no!
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,098 Uh, wait--
00:11:21,223 --> 00:11:22,766 Here you go, boys. Keep it short.
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,434 Hey, guys. - Hey, fat-ass, how's prison?
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:26,311 Well, it sucks balls. What do you you think?
00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:28,021 Cartman, why the hell did you have to commit a hate crime?
00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:29,523 We're gonna lose to girls because of you.
00:11:29,648 --> 00:11:30,816 Yeah, so you got to bust out of here.
00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:32,442 So we made you this cake.
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:34,820 There's a ail-nay ile-fay inside of it.
00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:37,489 A what? - An ail-nay ile-fay.
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,408 What's that? Listen, aggot-fay!
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,785 An ail-nay ile-fay so you can eak-bray out of ison-pray!
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:43,578 Yeah, you stupid umb-ass-day!
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:45,288 I'd love to eat a cake, you guys, but they don't let us
00:11:45,414 --> 00:11:46,832 take anything back to the cells from here.
00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:48,083 They on't-day?
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,251 Why the ell-hay ot-nay?
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:50,377 It ook-tay our-fay ours-hay
00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:52,212 to ake-bay this oddamn-gay ake-cay,
00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:54,423 and ow-nay, e're-way otally-tay ewed-scray!
00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:56,091 Yeah.
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,300 Look, that's not important right now.
00:11:57,426 --> 00:11:59,052 Did you guys bring the cigarettes?
00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:00,512 Well, we got some cigarettes,
00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:02,097 but we don't think you should be smoking.
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,598 Each year, over a million people die of--
00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:05,100 Just hand over the goddamn cigarettes!
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,768 Shh! - Look, if you guys want me back
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,854 to win the sledding race, then I need those cigarettes.
00:12:08,979 --> 00:12:10,313 How are we supposed to give them to you?
00:12:10,439 --> 00:12:12,524 Just pass them through these little drill holes here.
00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:14,401 That's what everybody does.
00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:16,361 But they're gonna search you on your way back to your cell.
00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:19,364 I know; that's why I have to hide them up my ass.
00:12:21,116 --> 00:12:22,242 Shut up, you guys! It's not funny!
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:23,243 Alright. Here.
00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:28,415 Okay, there's--
00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:33,378 Wow, I really wish I hadn't sat here and watched that.
00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:35,046 Me too.
00:12:35,172 --> 00:12:37,215 Okay, guys, if you'll excuse me,
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,009 I must be going now.
00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:40,260 Don't fart on your way out.
00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:41,386 You might make little smoke signals.
00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:44,931 Ha-ha. Very funny, you guys.
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:47,392 Ha-ha.
00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:49,186 That sucks we couldn't give him the nail file.
00:12:49,311 --> 00:12:50,479 So now what do we do?
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:51,730 There's only one thing we can do.
00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:53,356 We have to go see Token
00:12:53,482 --> 00:12:55,317 and see if he'll forgive Cartman for hate-criming him.
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,235 Come on. We're running out of time.
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:58,945 Well, did you get the cigarettes?
00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:01,948 Yes, they are safely concealed in the depths of my ass.
00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:04,242 Alright, go sit on the toilet and poop them out.
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:06,828 I'll keep an eye out for the guards.
00:13:13,043 --> 00:13:14,252 Come on, you stupid cigarettes!
00:13:22,594 --> 00:13:24,846 Plop! There's one...
00:13:33,522 --> 00:13:36,316 Plop! Two...
00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:43,114 Come on! Come on, now!
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,242 Come on!
00:13:45,367 --> 00:13:47,327 Plop!
00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:49,746 Whew!
00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:53,333 Ahh.
00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:55,502 Oh, god damn it!
00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:56,920 You flushed them?
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:58,421 Well, you spend eight years taking a crap
00:13:58,547 --> 00:14:00,757 and then flushing the toilet, it sort of becomes a reflex.
00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:02,592 Please, just help me bust out of here.
00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:05,637 No way, douche. I told you, I ain't your friend.
00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:07,556 If you want me to help you,
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:09,558 you're gonna have to sneak something else in for me.
00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:10,725 Son of a bitch!
00:14:15,564 --> 00:14:17,399 Dude, I didn't know Token lived so far away.
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,401 Yeah, you know, they bus in people from different races
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,152 to our school to promote cultural diversity.
00:14:21,278 --> 00:14:22,445 Yeah, but isn't Token the only one?
00:14:22,571 --> 00:14:23,822 Yeah.
00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:25,490 Hello.
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:26,867 Hi. Can Token come out and play?
00:14:26,992 --> 00:14:28,285 Well, his head's still a little sore.
00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:29,953 But you can come in if you like. - Killer.
00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:31,121 Token, you don't want to see
00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:32,414 us guys lose to girls tomorrow, do you?
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:33,957 No.
00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:35,750 Well, then you've got to call the jail right now
00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:38,503 and tell them that you forgive Cartman for being a dumb-ass.
00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:39,963 I'm afraid it's not that simple, boys.
00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:40,964 It's not? - No.
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,257 You see, the only person
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:43,425 that can let Eric out of juvenile hall
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:44,885 is the governor.
00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:46,803 Damn it! Son of a bitch, damn it!
00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:49,639 Oh. Sorry. - No, I actually agree with you.
00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:51,182 Huh? - Yeah.
00:14:51,308 --> 00:14:53,059 I have a real problem with hate crime legislation.
00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:54,895 In fact, I'd love to see you kids go down
00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:56,813 and give the governor a piece of my mind.
00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:58,773 Well, why don't you tell the governor yourself?
00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:00,317 Oh, he wouldn't listen to me. - Why not?
00:15:00,442 --> 00:15:01,902 - Because I'm black. - Oh.
00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:03,111 Sit down, boys.
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,362 I'm gonna give you a little lesson
00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:05,864 about hate crime laws.
00:15:22,172 --> 00:15:23,423 splash!
00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:27,844 Oh, thank God! Oh, thank you, Jesus!
00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:31,139 Here you go, god damn it!
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,808 Cool! My very own tic tac throw game!
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:35,810 Oh, it smells, man!
00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:37,479 Well, what the hell do you expect, huh?
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:38,647 Now I got your stupid game.
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:39,981 Tell me how to break out of here.
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:41,441 You're not gonna break out of here.
00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:43,193 You're here till you're 21, douche.
00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:44,653 But you said--
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,571 I just wanted you to sneak stuff in for me.
00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:49,240 What, you actually think I give a crap about you?
00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:50,241 I thought that--
00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:51,576 Man, you better wise up
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:53,578 to the way things work in the big house.
00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:56,665 Hey, guys! I gots me a new tic tac throw!
00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:04,214 Yeah, it's a little ripe, but it's brand-new, man.
00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:06,216 We can play it at recess.
00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:09,886 Hey, what are you doing?
00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:16,309 You--you can't cry in prison, man.
00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:18,812 They'll bust your head open. What's the matter with you?
00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:23,525 I want my mom!
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,068 Dude.
00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:28,238 Mommy! I want my mommy!
00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:31,616 Look, if it's that important to you,
00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:32,951 I'll bust you out of here.
00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:34,202 You will?
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,246 Yeah. Yeah, I will.
00:16:36,371 --> 00:16:38,289 But not because you're my friend.
00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:41,292 Only because-- because I want to bust out too
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:43,044 and see Disneyland.
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:46,339 Governor,
00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:47,507 the "Free Eric Cartman Now" Committee
00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:48,883 is here to see you.
00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:50,218 Oh, not another committee. Send them in.
00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:56,016 This is the "Free Eric Cartman Now" Committee?
00:16:56,141 --> 00:16:57,267 Yeah.
00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:58,643 Well, boys, what can I do for you?
00:16:58,768 --> 00:16:59,686 Okay, go ahead and start.
00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:00,562 I don't start. You start.
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:01,521 Oh, yeah.
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,025 Hello, Mr. Governor,
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:06,526 and thank you for taking the time
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:10,238 to hear our presentation on hate crime laws entitled
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,240 "Hate Crime Laws: A Savage Hypocrisy."
00:17:14,993 --> 00:17:16,161 Yes, over the past few years,
00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:17,412 our great country has been developing
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:18,913 new hate crime laws.
00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:20,623 If somebody kills somebody, it's a crime.
00:17:20,749 --> 00:17:22,417 But if someone kills somebody of a different color,
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:23,918 it's a hate crime.
00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:26,504 And we think that that is a savage hypocrisy,
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,089 because all crimes are hate crimes.
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:29,507 If a man beats another man
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:31,051 because that man was sleeping with his wife,
00:17:31,176 --> 00:17:32,427 is that not a hate crime?
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,471 If a person vandalizes a government building,
00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:36,973 is it not because of his hate for the government?
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:39,726 The motivation for a crime shouldn't affect the sentencing.
00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:42,479 Mayor, it is time to stop splitting people into groups.
00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:44,481 All hate crime laws do is support the ideas
00:17:44,606 --> 00:17:45,899 that blacks are different from whites,
00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:47,067 that homosexuals need to be
00:17:47,192 --> 00:17:48,943 treated differently from non-homos,
00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:50,445 that we aren't the same.
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,197 But instead, we should all be treated the same
00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:53,531 with the same laws
00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:55,533 and the same punishments for the same crimes,
00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,660 for in that way, Cartman can be freed from prison
00:17:57,786 --> 00:18:01,122 and we will have a chance to win the sledding race on Thursday.
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,541 That is our presentation, an idea that we call...
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:05,960 "Hate Crime Laws: a Savage Hypocrisy."
00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:07,712 Hmm.
00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:10,006 That made the most sense of any presentation I've heard
00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:11,800 in the last three years.
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:19,724 Hurry up!
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:22,435 They're sending the dogs after us!
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,687 Ow! - What's the matter?
00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:25,897 It's my leg. I think it's broke.
00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:28,983 You go on ahead without me.
00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:29,984 Okay. - Hey!
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,486 You're supposed to say,
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:32,946 "I'm not going without you," or something.
00:18:33,071 --> 00:18:34,197 Oh. Really?
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:35,657 Look, kid. You go on.
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,242 You've got something to live for out there.
00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:38,701 You've got friends. - Yeah.
00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:41,162 I never really realized that until just now.
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:43,665 I sure would have liked to have seen Disneyland.
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:44,916 Here, I want you to have these.
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:46,543 Okay. - No!
00:18:46,668 --> 00:18:48,002 You're supposed to say,
00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:49,921 "I can't take these," or something, dumb-ass!
00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:51,589 Oh. I can't take these.
00:18:51,714 --> 00:18:53,258 Take them. They'll bring you luck.
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:56,302 Now, go on. Get out of here.
00:18:56,427 --> 00:18:57,637 Romper? - Yeah?
00:18:57,762 --> 00:19:00,056 You--well, I know you don't think
00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:01,432 you've ever been anybody's friend,
00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:04,811 but, well, you're a friend to me.
00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:06,938 Alright, freeze!
00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:09,858 You'll never take us alive! We're going down together, pigs!
00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:12,193 But you've been pardoned by the governor.
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,445 Oh, sweet! Later, dudes.
00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:20,034 Well, come on! Are we racing or not?
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,619 Just wait. We got Cartman pardoned.
00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:23,163 He'll be here any second.
00:19:23,288 --> 00:19:24,706 He's got to show up. He's just got to!
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:27,000 Come on, my feet are getting cold, fudge packers!
00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:29,502 Yeah, if you're too scared to race, just say so.
00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:31,337 Dude, I guess we just got to try it without him.
00:19:31,462 --> 00:19:32,839 Alright, where's Clyde? - Right here.
00:19:32,964 --> 00:19:34,507 Get on the sled, you fat piece of shit!
00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:35,967 For the last time, I'm not fat,
00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:38,803 so stop calling me fat, god damn it!
00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:40,305 On the sled, fat-ass.
00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:42,640 Okay, girls, time to show the boys what we can do.
00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:43,725 Yeah!
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,727 Okay. Ready, set--
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,854 You guys!
00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:49,147 - It's Cartman! - Hooray!
00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:51,316 That's right, I'm back.
00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:54,277 Oh, thank you. Thank you for coming back.
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:56,487 Thank you so much. Thank you.
00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:57,906 What the hell is wrong with Clyde?
00:19:58,031 --> 00:19:59,991 This is your last chance. Are we racing or not?
00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:01,409 Alright! Let's do this!
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,995 Okay, everybody ready? On your marks...
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,788 I hope I can adapt to life outside of the big house.
00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:07,540 Get set, go!
00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:08,750 I've been on the inside for so long.
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,376 I don't remember how to live on the outside.
00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:11,544 Go, fat-ass!
00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:13,046 When a man is stripped of his freedom,
00:20:13,171 --> 00:20:14,464 degraded in the ways that I was, it's--
00:20:14,589 --> 00:20:16,049 Go, fat-ass!
00:20:16,174 --> 00:20:18,259 Come on! We got to catch up to them!
00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:22,055 We got them, girls!
00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:24,599 Oh, no! The girls are gonna win!
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,184 You can do it! - Come on!
00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:28,144 We're not gonna make it!
00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:29,395 Aha!
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,242 Hooray!
00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:43,284 We did it!
00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:47,538 We won! We won! - Yeah!
00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:48,998 Why, we sure gave those skanky bitches what for!
00:20:49,123 --> 00:20:50,541 Yeah!
00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:52,126 It's good to have you back, Cartman.
00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:54,295 Yeah, we're never gonna take your ass for granted ever again.
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:55,630 Yeah, and I'm never gonna
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,382 take my friends for granted ever again.
00:20:57,507 --> 00:21:00,051 Let's all hear it for Cartman's big fat ass!
00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:02,053 Ooh!
00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:04,389 Do British people count as an ethnicity for hate crimes?
00:21:04,514 --> 00:21:05,390 - Nah. - Sweet.
00:21:09,978 --> 00:21:11,479 Hey, Romper Stomper! Get up!
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,356 You got a visitor.
00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:15,233 Eric! - Hey Romper Stomper!
00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:18,111 Wow! I've never had a visitor before.
00:21:18,236 --> 00:21:19,279 Well, that's not all.
00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:20,571 I snuck something in for you too.
00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:22,657 You did?
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:23,825 You know how you told me
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,326 you always wanted to see Disneyland?
00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:28,371 Yeah.
00:21:34,377 --> 00:21:35,837 There's Pirates of the Caribbean.
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:37,839 Whoa!
00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:38,840 Here comes Space Mountain!
00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:42,552 Oh, yeah!
00:21:42,677 --> 00:21:45,430 it's a Small World!
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:49,434 Splash Mountain comes next!
00:21:54,689 --> 00:21:55,815 Oh, the Monorail!

00:00:09,802 --> 00:00:11,345 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:00:11,387 --> 00:00:13,222 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:14,974 Both: ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:15,099 --> 00:00:16,767 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:18,144 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:00:18,269 --> 00:00:20,062 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:21,731 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:21,856 --> 00:00:23,357 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:24,650 ♪ Headin' on up to South Park ♪
00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:26,569 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:29,905 ♪ [muffled] ♪
00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:31,282 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
00:00:31,407 --> 00:00:32,575 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:38,748 --> 00:00:40,374 Okay, are you guys ready up there?
00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:41,459 [all] Ready!
00:00:41,584 --> 00:00:43,919 On your marks, get set, go!
00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:47,673 We win again! - That's not fair!
00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:50,342 Cartman's ass is so fat, he makes your sled go faster.
00:00:50,468 --> 00:00:51,719 Hey, don't call me fat, Token.
00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:53,804 We want to use the sleds now, butt pirates.
00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:54,847 Sleds are for guys.
00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:56,390 Yeah, why don't you chicks
00:00:56,515 --> 00:00:58,184 go wash some dishes or get pregnant or something?
00:00:58,309 --> 00:01:00,436 These are the school's sleds, ass farmers, not yours.
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:01,937 Look, girls don't even know how to sled.
00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:03,606 Do something else. - All: Yeah!
00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,149 I bet we can slide ten times better than you,
00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:06,150 donut punchers.
00:01:06,275 --> 00:01:07,818 Oh, yeah? - All: Yeah!
00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:09,195 We'd kick your girlie asses sledding!
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,654 How about a race down a real hill then?
00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:11,655 All: Yeah!
00:01:11,781 --> 00:01:13,282 You got it! - All: yeah!
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,785 Your best four sledders against our best four sledders.
00:01:15,910 --> 00:01:17,078 No problem.
00:01:17,203 --> 00:01:18,079 Then we'll see you this Saturday
00:01:18,204 --> 00:01:19,497 on Phil Collins Hill.
00:01:19,622 --> 00:01:20,581 Phil Collins Hill on Saturday.
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:21,957 You got it! See you there.
00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:24,877 And may the best woman win, turd burglars!
00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:26,629 Oh, boy! We'll show them!
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,923 Yeah, why, those men will show those skanky hoes who's who!
00:01:29,048 --> 00:01:31,008 Yeah, those girls don't realize what good sledders
00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:32,593 Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are.
00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:34,220 Yeah, and with Cartman's enormously fat ass,
00:01:34,345 --> 00:01:35,805 the boys are sure to win!
00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:37,640 Token, I swear to God, you call me fat one more time,
00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:39,391 I'm gonna smack you in the head with this rock.
00:01:39,517 --> 00:01:41,769 Fat ass. - Ow!
00:01:41,894 --> 00:01:44,438 Heh. Oh. Uh-oh.
00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:45,981 And what you need to understand
00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:48,984 is that this is not appropriate behavior, young man, mm-kay?
00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:50,528 Eric, don't you realize you could have
00:01:50,653 --> 00:01:52,154 seriously injured your little friend?
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:53,739 I'm sorry, ma'am.
00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:55,783 Don't apologize to us. Apologize to him.
00:01:55,908 --> 00:01:57,368 I'm sorry, Token.
00:01:57,493 --> 00:01:58,702 Well, I hope you learned
00:01:58,828 --> 00:02:00,538 that throwing rocks at people is bad, Eric.
00:02:00,663 --> 00:02:03,165 I sure did, Mr. Mackey. I mean, I feel really bad.
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:04,667 What was I thinking?
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:07,211 The only thing I can do now is try to go on
00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:08,254 and live day by day.
00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:09,255 See you later!
00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:10,881 Not this time, Eric.
00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:12,758 You've got to learn to respect your little friends.
00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:15,177 You're gonna have detention for two weeks.
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,847 No way! - Yes way, mm-kay?
00:02:17,972 --> 00:02:19,223 And that settles it! Now, let's all go--
00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:21,058 Counselor Mackey? - Yes?
00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:22,977 I'm Agent Sharp, and this is Agent Keen.
00:02:23,102 --> 00:02:24,895 We're with the FBI.
00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:28,774 We're here to investigate the rock-throwing incident.
00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:30,776 Well, okay, I've already taken care of it.
00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:32,194 Eric Cartman, here, is gonna be punished
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,863 with two weeks of detention.
00:02:33,988 --> 00:02:35,447 I'm afraid it's a bit more complicated than that,
00:02:35,573 --> 00:02:36,740 Mr. School Counselor.
00:02:36,866 --> 00:02:38,242 You see, since the victim in this case
00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:43,372 Is African-American, this is considered a hate crime.
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,040 What the hell is a hate crime?
00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:46,667 Uh, oh. But I don't think this is--
00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:48,169 New laws have been passed that make any crime
00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:49,753 based on race, ethnicity,
00:02:49,879 --> 00:02:51,422 or sexual orientation a federal offense.
00:02:51,547 --> 00:02:53,007 What? A federal offense?
00:02:53,132 --> 00:02:54,758 Oh, no. - Oh, no?
00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:56,969 We're sorry, Ms. Cartman, but we must follow protocol.
00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:58,470 Your son will be taken into custody
00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:02,183 and then tried in the federal court of law.
00:03:02,308 --> 00:03:03,976 Oh, my goodness!
00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:06,437 The hate crime trial of the century is under way,
00:03:06,562 --> 00:03:08,314 and Court TV takes you there. Live!
00:03:08,439 --> 00:03:10,191 Here's your host, Leslie Smith.
00:03:10,316 --> 00:03:12,401 What turns a normal, fat little eight-year-old boy
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,695 into a vicious, hate-crime-committing racist?
00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,405 We take you live to the courtroom
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:18,741 as the defendant takes the stand.
00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:21,827 Mr. Cartman, do you know a boy by the name of Token?
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,913 Uh, yes. - Who is Token?
00:03:24,038 --> 00:03:25,956 He's a black kid that goes to my school.
00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:28,667 Black! Did you say "black"? You called him "black"?
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,961 He is black. - Oh, he said it again!
00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:31,879 [all gasp]
00:03:32,004 --> 00:03:33,005 He is African-American,
00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:34,173 and so you decided to pick him out.
00:03:34,298 --> 00:03:35,716 I did?
00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:37,343 The rage built and built inside your head
00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:38,636 until it became too much,
00:03:38,761 --> 00:03:40,471 because you hate African-Americans!
00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:41,805 No! I hate hippies! - What?
00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:43,390 I hate hippies and the way they always talk
00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:45,643 about protecting the Earth and then drive around in cars
00:03:45,768 --> 00:03:47,770 that get poor gas mileage and wear those stupid bracelets!
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,355 I hate them! I want to kick them in the nuts!
00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:50,564 Ooh, poopy-kins--
00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:52,066 Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:54,443 this is why we have hate crime laws.
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,070 This monster committed a crime,
00:03:56,195 --> 00:03:58,948 not against an individual but against a race.
00:03:59,073 --> 00:04:00,241 Do the democratic thing
00:04:00,366 --> 00:04:02,326 and send his fat little butt to prison.
00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:03,744 Hey! Don't call me fat, asshole!
00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:05,788 The prosecution rests. [gavel bangs]
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:07,915 Don't forget; we still have that sledding race
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,500 this Saturday, pillow biters.
00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:10,960 [both] We know. - Dude, this is horrible.
00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:12,336 We got to get Cartman out of court
00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:14,129 so we can go practice.
00:04:14,255 --> 00:04:16,006 Eric Cartman, you have been found guilty
00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:17,424 of committing a hate crime.
00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:19,009 For this, I hereby sentence you
00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:21,845 to the Alamosa Juvenile Hall until you turn 21.
00:04:21,971 --> 00:04:23,097 No!
00:04:23,222 --> 00:04:24,765 I am making an example of you
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:27,268 to send a message out to people everywhere
00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:29,812 that if you want to hurt another human being,
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,146 you better make damn sure
00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:33,691 they're the same color as you are.
00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:38,404 Court is adjourned. [gavel bangs]
00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:40,197 [together] Yahoo! Hooray!
00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:42,324 Bailiffs, escort this little bastard to juvenile hall.
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:43,909 Yes, sir.
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:46,578 Alright, you! Uh, where'd he go?
00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:50,791 [knocks on door] Kenny! Kenny!
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,543 You have to get me out of town! - [muffled]
00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:54,295 They're gonna put me in jail for a hate crime.
00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:56,297 You have to take me to Mexico! - Mexico?
00:04:56,422 --> 00:04:57,464 [muffled] Ooh!
00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:59,008 Calm down, Kenny! - Hey!
00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:00,634 Do you still have that battery-powered toy truck
00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:01,635 you got last Christmas?
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:02,636 Yeah. - Well, come on.
00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:03,637 I don't have much time!
00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:11,937 [wheels squeaking]
00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:15,899 A car chase is evolving
00:05:16,025 --> 00:05:18,193 on the 285 Corridor east of South Park.
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:19,778 Hate crime suspect Eric Cartman
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:21,697 is trying to outrun federal prosecutors
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,657 in his friend's Go-Go Action Bronco.
00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:25,284 Our eye in the sky, Greg Nimens, is there live.
00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:26,869 Greg?
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:28,454 Tom, it looks like the Go-Go Action Bronco
00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:30,414 is heading east on 285.
00:05:30,539 --> 00:05:32,291 Police officers are right behind him,
00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:33,375 but as with any chase,
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:34,877 they're keeping a safe distance
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,420 to avoid any accidents here out on the highway.
00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:38,505 Tom, it looks like the fugitive is going to make a bold move
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,090 off an exit of 285.
00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:41,842 He's going into a residential neighborhood now.
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:43,385 This is where it could get dangerous
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:44,928 as there are pedestrians about.
00:05:45,054 --> 00:05:46,638 Damn it, Kenny! Can't this thing go any faster?
00:05:46,764 --> 00:05:47,931 I'm going as fast as I can.
00:05:48,057 --> 00:05:49,266 Tom, the police have set a roadblock
00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:51,310 right where the Go-Go Action Bronco is heading.
00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:53,228 This could be the final standoff.
00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:54,897 Alright, that's far enough.
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:57,733 Stop the Go-Go Action Bronco and come out with your hands up.
00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,360 [wheels squeaking]
00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:01,737 Just bring it to a stop and come on out.
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,614 [wheels squeaking]
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:06,992 Jesus! He's gonna ram it!
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:09,244 [all shouting]
00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:10,412 [dull thud]
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,122 [wheels grinding]
00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:14,583 [metal creaking]
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:23,884 Crazy son of a bitch.
00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:26,220 Well, it's been over 13 hours now,
00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:28,263 and still the car chase has not ended.
00:06:28,389 --> 00:06:29,932 What the hell are they doing?
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,558 The chase has now moved through most of Arizona
00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:32,893 and nears the Mexican border.
00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:34,561 Dude, if Kenny takes Cartman to Mexico,
00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:36,730 how are we ever gonna win the sledding race on Saturday?
00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:38,148 Don't worry, dude; that little truck
00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:39,441 just runs on "D" batteries.
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:40,818 It's gonna run out of juice soon.
00:06:40,943 --> 00:06:42,569 [helicopter blades thrumming] [siren wailing]
00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:43,695 We're gonna make it, Kenny!
00:06:43,821 --> 00:06:44,822 We're gonna make it to Mexico!
00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:49,493 Oh, God damn it!
00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:50,494 [siren wailing]
00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:51,495 [tires screeching]
00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:52,496 [metal crunching]
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:54,289 [siren warbling]
00:06:54,415 --> 00:06:55,874 [phone rings] Hello?
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:57,793 Just a friendly reminder: Cartman's going to jail,
00:06:57,918 --> 00:07:00,504 and you've got four days until the race, rump rangers.
00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:02,131 Son of a bitch!
00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:05,134 [funk music]
00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:07,636 ♪♪
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,847 Here we are. The end of the road.
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:13,976 [dog barks and growls]
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,814 [kids shouting indistinctly]
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:26,447 ♪♪
00:07:26,572 --> 00:07:28,782 [boys shouting]
00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:29,867 [makes kissing noise]
00:07:31,452 --> 00:07:33,704 [infants babbling]
00:07:40,419 --> 00:07:43,797 Prisoner 24601, arriving.
00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:45,007 Forward, prisoner.
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:47,176 You will wake up each morning at 0500.
00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:49,595 Lockdown is until 0900.
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:50,971 At 10:00, we begin random searches
00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:52,639 and checks for contraband.
00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:56,310 At 11:30, we have nap time, followed by finger painting.
00:07:56,435 --> 00:07:59,188 Your cellmate is Romper Stomper.
00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:01,398 [whispering] Romper Stomper? - [whispering] Not Romper.
00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:02,983 Who's Romper Stomper?
00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:05,486 I am.
00:08:05,611 --> 00:08:07,988 And I don't want no new cellmate.
00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,656 You don't have a choice, Stomper.
00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:11,950 Now, show this new prisoner the ropes.
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:15,496 Oh, I will. You bet your ass I will.
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,373 Alright, guys, it looks like
00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:20,042 Cartman's not gonna be able to sled with us
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:22,044 for about another...13 years, so in the meantime,
00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:24,296 we need someone to race with us against the girls on Saturday.
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:26,173 Yeah, Cartman's weight was what gave us speed,
00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:29,134 so we need to find the next fattest kid besides Cartman.
00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:31,803 Come on, who's the second fattest kid in South Park?
00:08:31,929 --> 00:08:33,847 I think Clyde is the next fattest kid.
00:08:33,972 --> 00:08:34,890 Huh? - Yeah.
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,225 Okay, get over here, Clyde.
00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:37,726 I'm not fat. - Deal with it, dude.
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,019 Cartman's gone, so now you're the fat kid.
00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:41,021 Yeah, fat-ass. Get your fat butt on the sled.
00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:42,981 Hey, I'm not fat, you guys. I'm just kind of big-boned.
00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:44,358 Yeah, that's what they all say.
00:08:44,483 --> 00:08:45,776 Okay, ready? Go!
00:08:45,901 --> 00:08:48,403 [all cheering]
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:49,696 Aw, gay, dude!
00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:51,698 We don't even have enough weight to move.
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:53,450 See you Saturday, poo stabbers.
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:54,701 Nice going, fat boy.
00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:59,831 Well, well, well. New fish.
00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:01,250 How about you come up with a reason
00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:02,751 why we don't break your arms?
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,211 All: Yeah!
00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:05,671 Uh, 'cause I'm just like you guys.
00:09:05,796 --> 00:09:06,672 I'm one of you.
00:09:06,797 --> 00:09:07,714 Oh, yeah?
00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:09,132 The way I see it,
00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:10,342 There's two kinds of kids in the world:
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:12,135 kids who like <i>Animaniacs</i>
00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:14,680 and kids who don't like <i>Animaniacs.</i>
00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:16,223 You're either with us, or you're against us.
00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:17,641 So which are you?
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:21,019 Oh, uh, well, personally, I--
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:23,564 Uh...I...
00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:27,192 Don't like <i>Animaniacs?</i>
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:29,653 Neither do we. - Oh, thank you, Jesus.
00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:31,196 So we're friends now? - No.
00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:33,073 There's no friends in the big house.
00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:35,826 You come in with nobody, and you leave with nobody.
00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:38,078 We don't believe in "friends." - All: Yeah!
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:40,330 Yeah, neither do I. Friends suck.
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:42,124 Now, go find me some cigarettes,
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,042 and I'll tell you how to bust out of here.
00:09:46,545 --> 00:09:48,463 Okay, we figured it out.
00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:50,507 To add more weight to the sled, we're gonna use these bricks.
00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,259 But we're gonna cover them with kids' clothes
00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:53,760 so that the girls think it's another kid.
00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:55,095 Oh, that's a wonderful idea.
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,471 So I don't get to be on the team now?
00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:58,056 All: Shut up, fat-ass.
00:09:58,181 --> 00:09:59,433 Yeah, why don't you go eat some more pork rinds
00:09:59,558 --> 00:10:00,934 or something, you fat fuck?
00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:04,563 Come on. Let's give it a try.
00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:05,814 All: Whee!
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,190 [all yelling]
00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:09,818 Whoa! Look out! Look out!
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:12,154 Dude, bail! Bail! - Whoa!
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:13,155 Huh?
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,573 [yelling]
00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:15,991 [dull thud]
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,201 [hard thud]
00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:20,662 Oh, my God. We killed Kenny.
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:21,872 We killed Kenny?
00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:24,041 We killed Kenny. We're bastards.
00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:25,542 Well, that didn't work. What else can we try?
00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:26,918 Nothing else is gonna work.
00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:28,754 We have to face the fact that without Cartman,
00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:30,047 we're gonna lose to a bunch of girls.
00:10:30,172 --> 00:10:32,591 Well, I sure do hate to see my gender lose
00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:33,925 to a bunch of women.
00:10:34,051 --> 00:10:35,761 This is a sad day for men everywhere.
00:10:35,886 --> 00:10:37,304 You know something, guys?
00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:38,889 I think we all took Cartman's ass for granted.
00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:39,890 All: Yup.
00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:41,350 If only we had realized
00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:43,226 how special our time with his gigantic ass was.
00:10:43,352 --> 00:10:44,936 And all that time, we didn't understand
00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:47,648 what a unique and magical ass it was.
00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:49,524 Whoo-hoo! Great time, girls!
00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,485 Oh, gee, looks like you lost another sledder.
00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:54,529 Good luck on Saturday, donut punchers!
00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:56,239 That does it! We've got no other choice.
00:10:56,365 --> 00:10:57,866 We've got to bust Cartman out of jail.
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,201 All: Huh? - How?
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:00,827 I saw a movie once where they baked a cake
00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:02,329 and put a nail file inside of it.
00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:05,415 Sweet! Let's go! [all cheering]
00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:10,962 And have you been brushing your teeth?
00:11:11,088 --> 00:11:13,382 Yes, Mommy. - And not dropping your soap?
00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:14,925 Yes, Mommy. - Hi, Mom.
00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:16,426 Young man, that is the fourth time
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:17,886 you've been late for our visiting time.
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:18,887 You are grounded.
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:19,888 Grounded? Oh, no!
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,098 Uh, wait--
00:11:21,223 --> 00:11:22,766 Here you go, boys. Keep it short.
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,434 Hey, guys. - Hey, fat-ass, how's prison?
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:26,311 Well, it sucks balls. What do you you think?
00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:28,021 Cartman, why the hell did you have to commit a hate crime?
00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:29,523 We're gonna lose to girls because of you.
00:11:29,648 --> 00:11:30,816 Yeah, so you got to bust out of here.
00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:32,442 So we made you this cake.
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:34,820 [whispering] There's a ail-nay ile-fay inside of it.
00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:37,489 A what? - An ail-nay ile-fay.
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,408 What's that? Listen, aggot-fay!
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,785 An ail-nay ile-fay so you can eak-bray out of ison-pray!
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:43,578 Yeah, you stupid umb-ass-day!
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:45,288 I'd love to eat a cake, you guys, but they don't let us
00:11:45,414 --> 00:11:46,832 take anything back to the cells from here.
00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:48,083 They on't-day?
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,251 Why the ell-hay ot-nay?
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:50,377 It ook-tay our-fay ours-hay
00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:52,212 to ake-bay this oddamn-gay ake-cay,
00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:54,423 and ow-nay, e're-way otally-tay ewed-scray!
00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:56,091 Yeah.
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,300 Look, that's not important right now.
00:11:57,426 --> 00:11:59,052 [quietly] Did you guys bring the cigarettes?
00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:00,512 Well, we got some cigarettes,
00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:02,097 but we don't think you should be smoking.
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,598 Each year, over a million people die of--
00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:05,100 Just hand over the goddamn cigarettes!
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,768 Shh! - Look, if you guys want me back
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,854 to win the sledding race, then I need those cigarettes.
00:12:08,979 --> 00:12:10,313 How are we supposed to give them to you?
00:12:10,439 --> 00:12:12,524 Just pass them through these little drill holes here.
00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:14,401 That's what everybody does.
00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:16,361 But they're gonna search you on your way back to your cell.
00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:19,364 I know; that's why I have to hide them up my ass.
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:20,991 [both laugh]
00:12:21,116 --> 00:12:22,242 Shut up, you guys! It's not funny!
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:23,243 Alright. Here.
00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:28,415 [whispering] Okay, there's--
00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:31,460 [mumbling]
00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:33,378 Wow, I really wish I hadn't sat here and watched that.
00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:35,046 Me too.
00:12:35,172 --> 00:12:37,215 Okay, guys, if you'll excuse me,
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,009 I must be going now.
00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:40,260 Don't fart on your way out.
00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:41,386 You might make little smoke signals.
00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:42,888 [both laugh]
00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:44,931 Ha-ha. Very funny, you guys.
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:47,392 Ha-ha.
00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:49,186 That sucks we couldn't give him the nail file.
00:12:49,311 --> 00:12:50,479 So now what do we do?
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:51,730 There's only one thing we can do.
00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:53,356 We have to go see Token
00:12:53,482 --> 00:12:55,317 and see if he'll forgive Cartman for hate-criming him.
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,235 Come on. We're running out of time.
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:58,945 Well, did you get the cigarettes?
00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:01,948 Yes, they are safely concealed in the depths of my ass.
00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:04,242 Alright, go sit on the toilet and poop them out.
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:06,828 I'll keep an eye out for the guards.
00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:12,918 [grunting]
00:13:13,043 --> 00:13:14,252 Come on, you stupid cigarettes!
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:17,088 [grunting]
00:13:22,594 --> 00:13:24,846 Plop! There's one...
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:27,849 [grunting]
00:13:33,522 --> 00:13:36,316 Plop! Two...
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:39,069 [grunting]
00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:43,114 Come on! Come on, now!
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,242 Come on!
00:13:45,367 --> 00:13:47,327 Plop!
00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:49,746 [sighs] Whew!
00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:53,333 [toilet flushing] Ahh.
00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:55,502 Oh, god damn it!
00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:56,920 You flushed them?
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:58,421 Well, you spend eight years taking a crap
00:13:58,547 --> 00:14:00,757 and then flushing the toilet, it sort of becomes a reflex.
00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:02,592 Please, just help me bust out of here.
00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:05,637 No way, douche. I told you, I ain't your friend.
00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:07,556 If you want me to help you,
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:09,558 you're gonna have to sneak something else in for me.
00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:10,725 Son of a bitch!
00:14:15,564 --> 00:14:17,399 Dude, I didn't know Token lived so far away.
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,401 Yeah, you know, they bus in people from different races
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,152 to our school to promote cultural diversity.
00:14:21,278 --> 00:14:22,445 Yeah, but isn't Token the only one?
00:14:22,571 --> 00:14:23,822 Yeah.
00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:25,490 [doorbell rings] Hello.
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:26,867 Hi. Can Token come out and play?
00:14:26,992 --> 00:14:28,285 Well, his head's still a little sore.
00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:29,953 But you can come in if you like. - Killer.
00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:31,121 Token, you don't want to see
00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:32,414 us guys lose to girls tomorrow, do you?
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:33,957 No.
00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:35,750 Well, then you've got to call the jail right now
00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:38,503 and tell them that you forgive Cartman for being a dumb-ass.
00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:39,963 I'm afraid it's not that simple, boys.
00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:40,964 It's not? - No.
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,257 You see, the only person
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:43,425 that can let Eric out of juvenile hall
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:44,885 is the governor.
00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:46,803 Damn it! Son of a bitch, damn it!
00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:49,639 Oh. Sorry. - No, I actually agree with you.
00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:51,182 Huh? - Yeah.
00:14:51,308 --> 00:14:53,059 I have a real problem with hate crime legislation.
00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:54,895 In fact, I'd love to see you kids go down
00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:56,813 and give the governor a piece of my mind.
00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:58,773 Well, why don't you tell the governor yourself?
00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:00,317 Oh, he wouldn't listen to me. - Why not?
00:15:00,442 --> 00:15:01,902 Because I'm black. - Both: Oh.
00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:03,111 Sit down, boys.
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,362 I'm gonna give you a little lesson
00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:05,864 about hate crime laws.
00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:07,490 [funk music]
00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:10,243 [grunting]
00:15:22,172 --> 00:15:23,423 splash!
00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:27,844 Oh, thank God! Oh, thank you, Jesus!
00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:31,139 Here you go, god damn it!
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,808 Cool! My very own tic tac throw game!
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:35,810 Oh, it smells, man!
00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:37,479 Well, what the hell do you expect, huh?
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:38,647 Now I got your stupid game.
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:39,981 Tell me how to break out of here.
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:41,441 You're not gonna break out of here.
00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:43,193 You're here till you're 21, douche.
00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:44,653 But you said--
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,571 I just wanted you to sneak stuff in for me.
00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:49,240 What, you actually think I give a crap about you?
00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:50,241 I thought that--
00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:51,576 Man, you better wise up
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:53,578 to the way things work in the big house.
00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:56,665 Hey, guys! I gots me a new tic tac throw!
00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:01,378 [sobbing]
00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:04,214 Yeah, it's a little ripe, but it's brand-new, man.
00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:06,216 We can play it at recess.
00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:09,886 [sobbing] Hey, what are you doing?
00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:16,309 You--you can't cry in prison, man.
00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:18,812 They'll bust your head open. What's the matter with you?
00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:23,525 [sniffling] I want my mom!
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,068 Dude.
00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:28,238 Mommy! I want my mommy!
00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:31,616 Look, if it's that important to you,
00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:32,951 I'll bust you out of here.
00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:34,202 [sniffles] You will?
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,246 Yeah. Yeah, I will.
00:16:36,371 --> 00:16:38,289 But not because you're my friend.
00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:41,292 Only because-- because I want to bust out too
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:43,044 and see Disneyland.
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:46,339 Governor,
00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:47,507 the "Free Eric Cartman Now" Committee
00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:48,883 is here to see you.
00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:50,218 Oh, not another committee. Send them in.
00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:56,016 This is the "Free Eric Cartman Now" Committee?
00:16:56,141 --> 00:16:57,267 Yeah.
00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:58,643 Well, boys, what can I do for you?
00:16:58,768 --> 00:16:59,686 Okay, go ahead and start.
00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:00,562 I don't start. You start.
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:01,521 Oh, yeah.
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,025 [clears throat] Hello, Mr. Governor,
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:06,526 and thank you for taking the time
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:10,238 to hear our presentation on hate crime laws entitled
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,240 "Hate Crime Laws: A Savage Hypocrisy."
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:14,868 [patriotic music]
00:17:14,993 --> 00:17:16,161 Yes, over the past few years,
00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:17,412 our great country has been developing
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:18,913 new hate crime laws.
00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:20,623 If somebody kills somebody, it's a crime.
00:17:20,749 --> 00:17:22,417 But if someone kills somebody of a different color,
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:23,918 it's a hate crime.
00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:26,504 And we think that that is a savage hypocrisy,
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,089 because all crimes are hate crimes.
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:29,507 If a man beats another man
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:31,051 because that man was sleeping with his wife,
00:17:31,176 --> 00:17:32,427 is that not a hate crime?
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,471 If a person vandalizes a government building,
00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:36,973 is it not because of his hate for the government?
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:39,726 The motivation for a crime shouldn't affect the sentencing.
00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:42,479 Mayor, it is time to stop splitting people into groups.
00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:44,481 All hate crime laws do is support the ideas
00:17:44,606 --> 00:17:45,899 that blacks are different from whites,
00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:47,067 that homosexuals need to be
00:17:47,192 --> 00:17:48,943 treated differently from non-homos,
00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:50,445 that we aren't the same.
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,197 But instead, we should all be treated the same
00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:53,531 with the same laws
00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:55,533 and the same punishments for the same crimes,
00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,660 for in that way, Cartman can be freed from prison
00:17:57,786 --> 00:18:01,122 and we will have a chance to win the sledding race on Thursday.
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,541 That is our presentation, an idea that we call...
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:05,960 "Hate Crime Laws: a Savage Hypocrisy."
00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:07,712 Hmm.
00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:10,006 That made the most sense of any presentation I've heard
00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:11,800 in the last three years.
00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:14,511 [alarm ringing]
00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:18,473 [dogs barking]
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:19,724 Hurry up!
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:22,435 They're sending the dogs after us!
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,687 Ow! - What's the matter?
00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:25,897 It's my leg. I think it's broke.
00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:27,732 [dogs growling]
00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:28,983 You go on ahead without me.
00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:29,984 Okay. - Hey!
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,486 You're supposed to say,
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:32,946 "I'm not going without you," or something.
00:18:33,071 --> 00:18:34,197 Oh. Really?
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:35,657 Look, kid. You go on.
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,242 You've got something to live for out there.
00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:38,701 You've got friends. - Yeah.
00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:41,162 I never really realized that until just now.
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:43,665 I sure would have liked to have seen Disneyland.
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:44,916 Here, I want you to have these.
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:46,543 Okay. - No!
00:18:46,668 --> 00:18:48,002 You're supposed to say,
00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:49,921 "I can't take these," or something, dumb-ass!
00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:51,589 Oh. I can't take these.
00:18:51,714 --> 00:18:53,258 Take them. They'll bring you luck.
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:56,302 Now, go on. Get out of here.
00:18:56,427 --> 00:18:57,637 Romper? - Yeah?
00:18:57,762 --> 00:19:00,056 You--well, I know you don't think
00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:01,432 you've ever been anybody's friend,
00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:04,811 but, well, you're a friend to me.
00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:06,938 Alright, freeze!
00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:09,858 You'll never take us alive! We're going down together, pigs!
00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:12,193 But you've been pardoned by the governor.
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,445 Oh, sweet! Later, dudes.
00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:20,034 Well, come on! Are we racing or not?
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,619 Just wait. We got Cartman pardoned.
00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:23,163 He'll be here any second.
00:19:23,288 --> 00:19:24,706 He's got to show up. He's just got to!
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:27,000 Come on, my feet are getting cold, fudge packers!
00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:29,502 Yeah, if you're too scared to race, just say so.
00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:31,337 Dude, I guess we just got to try it without him.
00:19:31,462 --> 00:19:32,839 Alright, where's Clyde? - Right here.
00:19:32,964 --> 00:19:34,507 Get on the sled, you fat piece of shit!
00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:35,967 For the last time, I'm not fat,
00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:38,803 so stop calling me fat, god damn it!
00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:40,305 On the sled, fat-ass.
00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:42,640 Okay, girls, time to show the boys what we can do.
00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:43,725 Girls: Yeah!
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,727 Okay. Ready, set--
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,854 You guys!
00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:49,147 It's Cartman! - Boys: Hooray!
00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:51,316 That's right, I'm back.
00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:54,277 Oh, thank you. Thank you for coming back.
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:56,487 [weeping] Thank you so much. Thank you.
00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:57,906 What the hell is wrong with Clyde?
00:19:58,031 --> 00:19:59,991 This is your last chance. Are we racing or not?
00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:01,409 Alright! Let's do this!
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,995 Okay, everybody ready? On your marks...
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,788 I hope I can adapt to life outside of the big house.
00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:07,540 Get set, go!
00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:08,750 I've been on the inside for so long.
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,376 I don't remember how to live on the outside.
00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:11,544 Go, fat-ass!
00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:13,046 When a man is stripped of his freedom,
00:20:13,171 --> 00:20:14,464 degraded in the ways that I was, it's--
00:20:14,589 --> 00:20:16,049 Boys: Go, fat-ass!
00:20:16,174 --> 00:20:18,259 Come on! We got to catch up to them!
00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:22,055 We got them, girls!
00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:24,599 Oh, no! The girls are gonna win!
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,184 You can do it! - Come on!
00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:28,144 We're not gonna make it!
00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:29,395 Aha!
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:35,318 [all screaming]
00:20:35,443 --> 00:20:37,278 [all yelling]
00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:40,615 [bear growls]
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,242 Boys: Hooray!
00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:43,284 We did it!
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:46,037 [girls groan]
00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:47,538 We won! We won! - Yeah!
00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:48,998 Why, we sure gave those skanky bitches what for!
00:20:49,123 --> 00:20:50,541 All: Yeah!
00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:52,126 It's good to have you back, Cartman.
00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:54,295 Yeah, we're never gonna take your ass for granted ever again.
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:55,630 Yeah, and I'm never gonna
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,382 take my friends for granted ever again.
00:20:57,507 --> 00:21:00,051 Let's all hear it for Cartman's big fat ass!
00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:02,053 Ooh!
00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:04,389 Do British people count as an ethnicity for hate crimes?
00:21:04,514 --> 00:21:05,390 All: Nah. - Sweet.
00:21:09,978 --> 00:21:11,479 Hey, Romper Stomper! Get up!
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,356 You got a visitor.
00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:15,233 Eric! - Hey Romper Stomper!
00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:18,111 Wow! I've never had a visitor before.
00:21:18,236 --> 00:21:19,279 Well, that's not all.
00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:20,571 I snuck something in for you too.
00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:22,657 You did?
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:23,825 You know how you told me
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,326 you always wanted to see Disneyland?
00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:28,371 Yeah.
00:21:28,496 --> 00:21:31,374 [grunting]
00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:34,252 [water splashes]
00:21:34,377 --> 00:21:35,837 There's Pirates of the Caribbean.
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:37,839 Whoa! - [grunting]
00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:38,840 Here comes Space Mountain!
00:21:38,965 --> 00:21:39,841 [grunting]
00:21:39,966 --> 00:21:40,842 [water splashes]
00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:42,552 Oh, yeah!
00:21:42,677 --> 00:21:45,430 [grunting] it's a Small World!
00:21:45,555 --> 00:21:46,681 [water splashes]
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:49,434 Splash Mountain comes next!
00:21:49,559 --> 00:21:53,563 [grunting]
00:21:53,688 --> 00:21:54,564 [water splashes]
00:21:54,689 --> 00:21:55,815 Oh, the Monorail!

00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,500 401 - Тупое преступление Картмана на почве ненависти 2000.
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,999 Ок. Эй, мужики, вы там готовы?
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,999 Готовы.
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:46,999 На старт! Внимание... Марш!
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:47,999 Мы снова победили.
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:50,999 Это не честно. Задница Картмана такая жирная, что из-за этого ваши санки едут быстрее.
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,999 Эй. Не называй меня жирным, Токен
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,999 Мы тоже хотим покататься на санках, педрилки.
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:56,999 Санки - для парней. Да. Почему бы вам, телки, не пойти помыть посуду,
00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:58,999 или забеременеть, или еще чего полезного сделать?
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,999 Это школьные санки, петушки. Не ваши.
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,999 Да ты что. Девчонки даже не знают, как кататься на санках. Занимайтесь чем-нибудь другим. Да.
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:07,999 Держу пари, что мы катаемся в десять раз лучше чем вы, пуловеры с дыркой.
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,999 О, да? Да. Мы надерем ваши девичьи задницы в катании на санках.
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,999 А как насчет гонки на НАСТОЯЩЕМ холме.
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:13,999 Да. Давай! Да.
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,999 Ваши четыре лучших гонщика против наших четырех лучших гонщиц.
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,999 Без проблем. Тогда увидимся в эту субботу на холме Фила Коллинса.
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,999 На холме Фила Коллинса в субботу. Договорились.
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:25,999 Встретимся там и, возможно, увидим лучшую победу, одержанную женщинами, трубочисты.
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:26,999 О, парни. Мы им покажем.
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:29,999 Да. Наши мужики покажут этим уебищам ху из ху.
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:32,999 Да. Эти девчонки не понимают насколько хорошие гонщики Стэн, Кайл, и Кенни.
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,999 Да, и с необычайно жирной задницей Картмана, ребята могут быть уверены в победе.
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:38,999 Токен, клянусь Богом. Если ты еще хоть раз назовешь меня жирным,
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:39,999 я проломлю тебе череп этим камнем.
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:44,999 - Толстожопый. - Лови.
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:49,999 ...И вам необходимо понять, что это несоответствующее поведение, молодой человек. П'нятно?
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,999 Эрик. Неужели ты не понимаешь, что мог серьезно ранить своего маленького друга?
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:53,999 Извини меня, мама.
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,999 Не извиняйся перед нами. Извинись перед ним.
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:57,999 Извини, Токен.
00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,999 Ну, я надеюсь, что ты запомнил, что бросать камни в людей плохо, Эрик.
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:04,999 Определенно, М-р. Мэкки. Я имею в виду, что я чувствую себя действительно плохо. О чем я думал?
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:09,999 Единственное, что я могу сейчас сделать, это пытаться держаться и жить день за днем.
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:10,999 - Увидимся. - Не в этот раз, Эрик.
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,499 Ты должен научиться уважать своего маленького друга.
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:15,999 И следующие две недели ты будешь оставаться после уроков.
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:16,999 Ни за что.
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,999 Да за что. П'нятно? И на этом вопрос исчерпан. А теперь давайте все пойдем...
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,999 - Психолог Мэкки? - Да.
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:25,999 Я - агент Шарп, а это - агент Кин. Мы из ФБР.
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,999 Мы прибыли для расследования камнебросательного инцидента.
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,499 П-п-пнятно. Я, я уже позаботился об этом.
00:02:31,500 --> 00:02:33,999 Эрик Картман наказан двумя неделями оставления после уроков.
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:37,999 Я боюсь, что все немного сложнее, Мистер школьный психолог.
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,999 Видите ли, так как жертва в данном случае является афро-американцем, то это подпадает под...
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,999 ПРЕСТУПЛЕНИЕ НА ПОЧВЕ НЕНАВИСТИ.
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:45,999 Что еще за преступление на почве ненависти?
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:46,999 Мм, о, но я не думаю, что это...
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,499 Новые законы предполагают, что любое преступление, основанное на
00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:51,999 расизме, этнической принадлежности, или сексуальной ориентации, является государственным преступлением.
00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:54,999 - Что? Государственным преступлением? - О, нет. - О, нет?
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,999 Мы сожалеем, мисс Картман, но мы должны следовать протоколу.
00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:03,999 Ваш сын будет арестован и предстанет в федеральном суде.
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:04,999 О, мой бог.
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:06,499 Суд столетия над преступлением на почве ненависти идет полным ходом,
00:03:06,500 --> 00:03:07,999 и СудТВ приглашает вас прямо туда. В прямом эфире.
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,999 А вот и наша ведущая, Лесли Смит.
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,499 Что подтолкнуло маленького восьмилетнего мальчика
00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:15,999 нормальной жирности на ужасное преступление на почве ненависти, совершенное под лозунгами расизма?
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,999 А сейчас прямой эфир из зала суда, где идет опрос обвиняемого.
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:21,999 Г-н. Картман, знаете ли вы мальчика по имени Токен?
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,999 - Мм, да. - Кто такой Токен?
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,999 Это черный парень, который учится со мной в школе.
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,999 ЧЕРНЫЙ. ВЫ СКАЗАЛИ ЧЕРНЫЙ? ВЫ НАЗВАЛИ ЕГО ЧЕРНЫМ?!
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,999 - Он и ЕСТЬ черный. - ОН СКАЗАЛ ЭТО СНОВА. Ха.
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,999 ОН - АФРО-АМЕРИКАНЕЦ, И ПОЭТОМУ ВЫ РЕШИЛИ РАЗУКРАСИТЬ ЕГО.
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,999 - Разве? - ГНЕВ РОС И РОС ВНУТРИ ТВОЕЙ ГОЛОВЫ ПОКА ЕГО НЕ СТАЛО СЛИШКОМ МНОГО,
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,999 ПОТОМУ ЧТО ВЫ НЕНАВИДИТЕ АФРО-АМЕРИКАНЦЕВ.
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,999 - НЕТ. Я НЕНАВИЖУ ХИППИ. - Что?
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:46,999 Я НЕНАВИЖУ ХИППИ, КОГДА ОНИ ПОСТОЯННО ГОВОРЯТ О НАШЕЙ ЗАЩИТЕ
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:47,999 И КОГДА ОНИ РАЗЕЗЖАЮТ НА ЭТИХ АВТОМОБИЛЯХ
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:48,999 С ДЕШОВЫМ БЕНЗИНОМ И НОСЯТ ЭТИ ТУПЫЕ РЕМЕШКИ.
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,999 - Я НЕНАВИЖУ ИХ. Я ХОЧУ ПНУТЬ ИХ ПО ЯЙЦАМ. - О. Святые угодники.
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,999 Леди и джентльмены жюри, вот почему у нас есть законы о преступлении на почве ненависти.
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,999 Этот "монстр" совершил преступление,
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,999 не против конкретного человека, но против расы.
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,999 Примите решение, руководствуясь принципами демократии и засадите его маленькую жирную задницу в тюрьму.
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,999 ЭЙ, НЕ НАЗЫВАЙ МЕНЯ ЖИРНЫМ, ЖОПА!
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:06,999 Объявляется перерыв.
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,999 Не забывайте. У нас все еще назначена гонка на санках в эту субботу, незабудки.
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:14,999 Мы помним. Чувак, это ужасно. Мы должны вытащить Картмана с суда, чтобы потренироваться.
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,999 Эрик Картман, вы были найдены виновным в совершении преступления на почве ненависти.
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:22,999 Тем самым я приговариваю вас к заключению в колонию для несовершеннолетних Аламоса, пока вы не достигните двадцати одного года.
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:27,999 - НЕТ. - Ты будешь примером, моим посланием для всех людей:
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:32,499 если вы хотите покалечить другого человека, вам лучше
00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:34,599 быть чертовски уверенным в том, что он такого же цвета, как и вы!
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,099 Суд окончен.
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,999 Судебные приставы, проводите это маленького ублюдка в колонию для несовершеннолетних.
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,399 Да, сэр.
00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:48,399 Ну-с. Мм, куда он делся?
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,999 Кенни. Кенни, ты должен вытащить меня из города.
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,499 - *К-а-к-о-г-о х-у-я?* - Они собираются засадить меня в тюрьму
00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:55,999 за преступление на почве ненависти. Ты должен доставить меня в Мексику.
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,999 *М-е-к-с-и-к-у? Н-е-х-у-й м-н-е д-е-л-а-т-ь к-р-о-м-е к-а-к в-е-з-т-и т-е-б-я в М-е-к-с-и-к-у.*
00:04:59,000 --> 00:04:59,999 УСПОКОЙСЯ, КЕННИ.
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,999 У тебя все еще есть карт на батарейках, который ты получил на Рождество?
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,299 - *Д-а*. - Отлично, пошли. Я меня мало времени.
00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:18,999 Автомобильное погоня продолжается на 285 трассе к востоку от Южного Парка.
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:22,999 Подозреваемый в преступлении на почве ненависти Эрик Картман пытается сбежать от государственных обвинителей
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,999 на карте Go-Go Action Bronco своего друга.
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,999 Наш "глаз в небе", Грэг Ниминс, в прямом эфире. Грэг?
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,999 Том, похоже Go-Go Action Bronco направляется на восток по 285.
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,999 Полицейские прямо позади него, и, как в любом преследовании,
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:38,399 они держат безопасную дистанцию, во избежание любых несчастных случаев на трассе.
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:41,799 Том, кажется, беглец собирается сделать дерзкий поворот к выходу с 285.
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:42,799 Он входит в жилые кварталы.
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:44,399 Сейчас они представляют опасность для пешеходов.
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:45,999 Черт возьми, Кенни. Эта штука не может двигаться немного быстрее?
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:47,899 *Я е-д-у б-ы-с-т-р-о, к-а-к т-о-л-ь-к-о в-о-з-м-о-ж-н-о.*
00:05:47,900 --> 00:05:49,999 Том, полицейские загородили дорогу прямо на пути Go-Go Action Bronco.
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,999 Это может стать финалом этой погони.
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:55,099 Хорошо. Еще достаточно далеко.
00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:57,999 Остановите Go-Go Action Bronco и выходите с поднятыми руками.
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:02,399 Просто остановитесь и выходите.
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,599 ГОСПОДИ, ОН СОБИРАЕТСЯ ИДТИ НА ТАРАН!
00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:23,899 Сумасшедший сукин сын.
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:28,799 Это случилось 13 часов назад, а погоня все еще продолжается.
00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:30,099 Что, черт возьми, они делают?
00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:33,899 На данный момент погоня прошла почти через всю Аризону и приближается к мексиканской границе.
00:06:33,900 --> 00:06:37,399 Чувак, если Кенни перевезет Картмана в Мексику, то как мы собираемся выиграть гонку в субботу?
00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:39,999 Расслабься, чувак. Этот грузовичок двигается всего лишь на D батарейках.
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,099 Они скоро сядут.
00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:45,499 Мы сделаем это, Кенни. Мы сделаем эту Мексику.
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,299 А, ЧЕРТ ВОЗЬМИ!
00:06:54,900 --> 00:06:55,999 Алло.
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:59,999 Всего лишь дружеское напоминание: Картман в тюрьме, и у вас осталось четыре дня до гонки, чебурашки.
00:07:01,300 --> 00:07:02,399 Твою мать.
00:07:08,700 --> 00:07:10,799 Наконец-то приехали. Дорога закончилась.
00:07:11,900 --> 00:07:14,099 Подростковая колония строгого режима Аламоса.
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:25,904 Медведь Груфи говорит: "При попытке к бегству - стреляю без предупреждения"
00:07:40,450 --> 00:07:43,449 Прибыл заключенный 24601.
00:07:43,450 --> 00:07:45,449 Вперед, заключенный.
00:07:45,450 --> 00:07:49,449 Подъем в 5.00. В камере находиться до 9.00.
00:07:49,450 --> 00:07:52,449 В десять мы начинаем случайные проверки на наличие контрабанды.
00:07:52,450 --> 00:07:56,449 В 11:30 тихий час, затем рисование пальцами.
00:07:56,450 --> 00:07:58,549 Твой сокамерник - Ромпер Стомпер (детские топатушки).
00:08:01,450 --> 00:08:03,449 А кто это, кто такой Ромпер Стомпер?
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:05,449 Я.
00:08:05,450 --> 00:08:07,449 И я не хочу нового сокамерника.
00:08:07,450 --> 00:08:11,449 У тебя нет выбора, Стомпер. И покажи этому новому заключенному, какие тут порядки.
00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:15,649 О, я покажу. Держу пари на твою жопу, покажу.
00:08:17,450 --> 00:08:21,449 Итак, парни. Похоже на то, что Картман не сможет кататься с нами приблизительно еще тринадцать лет.
00:08:21,450 --> 00:08:23,449 Но, в то же время, нам нужен кто-то к гонке против девчонок в субботу.
00:08:23,450 --> 00:08:25,949 Да. Вес Картмана был тем, что давало нам скорость.
00:08:25,950 --> 00:08:28,449 Следовательно, мы должны найти следующего по жирности ребенка после Картмана.
00:08:28,450 --> 00:08:31,449 Ну же. Кто второй самый жирный ребенок в Южном Парке?
00:08:31,450 --> 00:08:34,449 Мм, я думаю, что Клайд - следующий самый жирный ребенок.
00:08:34,450 --> 00:08:35,449 Да. Хорошо, иди сюда Клайд.
00:08:35,450 --> 00:08:36,449 Я не жирный.
00:08:36,450 --> 00:08:38,449 Смирись с этим, чувак. Картмана нет, и теперь ты - жирный ребенок.
00:08:38,450 --> 00:08:40,449 Да, толстожопый. Клади свою жирную задницу на санки.
00:08:40,450 --> 00:08:42,449 Эй, ребята, я не жирный. У меня просто кость широкая.
00:08:42,450 --> 00:08:46,349 Ага. Это то, что он постоянно говорит. Прекрасно. Готовы? Поехали!
00:08:48,450 --> 00:08:51,449 А, чувак. У нас не хватает веса даже на то, чтобы двигаться.
00:08:51,450 --> 00:08:53,449 Увидимся в субботу, говномесы.
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:55,049 Хорошо, идем, жирдяй.
00:08:57,450 --> 00:08:59,449 Так, так, так. Новая рыбка.
00:08:59,450 --> 00:09:03,449 Как насчет того, чтобы придумать причину почему мы не сломаем тебе руки? Да.
00:09:03,450 --> 00:09:06,449 Мм, по причине того, что я - точно такой же как и вы. Мм, я - один из вас.
00:09:06,450 --> 00:09:10,449 О, да? Я считаю, что существует два типа детей в мире:
00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:14,449 дети, которые любят Аниманьяков и дети, которые не любят Аниманьяков.
00:09:14,450 --> 00:09:18,449 Ты с нами, или против нас? Так кто ты?
00:09:18,450 --> 00:09:23,449 О, мм. Ну, лично я, мм. Я...
00:09:23,450 --> 00:09:27,449 не люблю Аниманьяков?
00:09:27,450 --> 00:09:28,449 Мы тоже.
00:09:28,450 --> 00:09:30,449 О, слава тебе, господи. Ну, теперь мы друзья?
00:09:30,450 --> 00:09:33,449 Нет. В большом доме нет друзей.
00:09:33,450 --> 00:09:35,449 Ты пришел ни с кем и уйдешь ни с кем.
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:37,449 Мы не верим в друзей.
00:09:37,450 --> 00:09:38,449 Да.
00:09:38,450 --> 00:09:40,449 Да. Я тоже. Друзья - отстой!
00:09:40,450 --> 00:09:45,049 А теперь найди мне пару сигарет, и я расскажу тебе, как свалить отсюда.
00:09:47,450 --> 00:09:51,449 Итак, вот, что мы придумали. Добавить больше веса санкам, используя эти кирпичи.
00:09:51,450 --> 00:09:53,449 А сверху мы прикроем их детской одеждой так, чтобы девчонки думали, что это - другой ребенок.
00:09:53,450 --> 00:09:55,449 О. Это замечательная идея.
00:09:55,450 --> 00:09:56,449 Получается, что я уже не в команде?
00:09:56,450 --> 00:09:57,449 ЗАТКНИСЬ, ТОЛСТОЖОПЫЙ!
00:09:57,450 --> 00:10:00,449 Да. Почему бы тебе не пойти пожрать сала или еще чего-нибудь, ебаный жирдяй?
00:10:00,450 --> 00:10:03,449 Пошли. Давайте попробуем еще раз.
00:10:09,450 --> 00:10:12,649 А-а-а, чувак, прыгай. Прыгай!
00:10:19,450 --> 00:10:20,449 О, боже мой. Мы убили Кенни.
00:10:20,450 --> 00:10:21,449 Мы убили Кенни?
00:10:21,450 --> 00:10:23,449 Мы убили Кенни. Мы - сволочи.
00:10:23,450 --> 00:10:25,449 Что ж, это не сработало. Что еще мы можем попробовать?
00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:26,449 Ничто другое не сработает.
00:10:26,450 --> 00:10:29,449 Мы поставлены перед фактом, что без Картмана мы проиграем девчонкам.
00:10:29,450 --> 00:10:33,449 У-ау. Мне бы очень не хотелось увидеть, как мой пол, э-э, проигрывает женщинам.
00:10:33,450 --> 00:10:35,449 Это - печальный день для всех мужчин.
00:10:35,450 --> 00:10:39,449 Знаете, что, парни? Я думаю, все мы считали задницу Картмана как само собой разумеющимся.
00:10:39,450 --> 00:10:43,449 Да. Если бы мы только поняли, в какое особое время мы жили рядом с его гигантской задницей.
00:10:43,450 --> 00:10:47,449 Все это время мы не понимали, какая это была уникальная и волшебная задница.
00:10:47,450 --> 00:10:51,449 Хорошее время, девочки. О, какая досада! Похоже, что вы потеряли еще одного гонщика.
00:10:51,450 --> 00:10:54,449 Удачи в субботу, пчеловоды.
00:10:54,450 --> 00:10:58,449 Ну все, хватит! У нас нет другого выхода, кроме как вытащить Картмана из тюрьмы.
00:10:58,450 --> 00:10:59,449 Как?
00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:02,449 Я однажды видел в кино, как внутрь пирога спрятали напильник.
00:11:02,450 --> 00:11:04,049 Отлично. Пошли.
00:11:09,450 --> 00:11:10,449 А зубы ты чистил?
00:11:10,450 --> 00:11:11,449 Да, мама.
00:11:11,450 --> 00:11:13,449 А мыло не ронял?
00:11:13,450 --> 00:11:14,449 Нет, мама.
00:11:14,450 --> 00:11:15,449 Привет, мам.
00:11:15,450 --> 00:11:18,449 Молодой человек, ты уже четвертый раз опаздываешь на свидание. Ты будешь наказан.
00:11:18,450 --> 00:11:20,449 Наказан? О, нет.
00:11:20,450 --> 00:11:22,449 Проходите сюда, пацаны, и покороче.
00:11:22,450 --> 00:11:23,449 Привет, парни.
00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:24,449 Привет, толстожопый. Как тюрьма?
00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:26,449 Полный отстой. А вы что думали?
00:11:26,450 --> 00:11:27,449 Картман, какого черта ты вообще совершил преступление на почве ненависти?
00:11:27,450 --> 00:11:29,449 Мы проиграем девчонкам из-за тебя.
00:11:29,450 --> 00:11:30,449 Следовательно, ты должен выбраться отсюда.
00:11:30,450 --> 00:11:31,449 И поэтому мы сделали тебе этот пирог.
00:11:31,450 --> 00:11:34,449 Там внутри никнапил.
00:11:34,450 --> 00:11:35,449 Что?
00:11:35,450 --> 00:11:37,449 Ник-напил.
00:11:37,450 --> 00:11:38,449 Это что еще?
00:11:38,450 --> 00:11:41,449 Слушай сюда, иламуд. Никнапил. Следовательно, ты сможешь атьсбеж из мытюрь.
00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:43,449 Да, тупой рокприду.
00:11:43,450 --> 00:11:46,449 Вообще-то ,пацаны, я хотел бы съесть пирог, но здесь не разрешают проносить что-либо в камеру.
00:11:46,450 --> 00:11:48,449 Они шаютнеразре? Какого тачер зянель?
00:11:48,450 --> 00:11:51,449 Мы речеты сача липек отэт товчер рогпи
00:11:51,450 --> 00:11:54,449 и еще камикрош палипосы.
00:11:54,450 --> 00:11:55,449 Да.
00:11:55,450 --> 00:11:57,449 Слушайте. Сейчас это не так уж важно.
00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:59,449 Вы принесли сигареты?
00:11:59,450 --> 00:12:01,449 Ну, мы принесли пару сигарет, но мы не думаем, что ты должен курить.
00:12:01,450 --> 00:12:02,449 Каждый год, миллионы людей умирают от...
00:12:02,450 --> 00:12:05,449 ПРОСТО ПЕРЕДАЙТЕ ЭТИ ЧЕРТОВЫ СИГАРЕТЫ.
00:12:05,450 --> 00:12:08,449 Ш-ш. Слушайте. Если вы хотите вернуть меня обратно и выиграть гонку, то мне нужны эти сигареты.
00:12:08,450 --> 00:12:10,449 А как мы их передадим тебе?
00:12:10,450 --> 00:12:13,449 Просто просуньте их в эти маленькие дырочки.
00:12:13,450 --> 00:12:15,449 Но они же обыщут тебя, когда ты будешь возвращаться в камеру.
00:12:15,450 --> 00:12:20,449 Я знаю. Именно поэтому я спрячу их в своей заднице.
00:12:20,450 --> 00:12:22,449 ЗАТКНИТЕСЬ, ПАЦАНЫ! ЭТО НЕ СМЕШНО.
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:24,450 Ну, ладно, держи.
00:12:32,450 --> 00:12:34,449 Ничего себе. Не хотелось бы мне здесь находится и смотреть на это.
00:12:34,450 --> 00:12:36,449 Мне тоже. Ну, все в порядке, парни.
00:12:36,450 --> 00:12:38,449 Вы извините меня, но мне нужно идти.
00:12:38,450 --> 00:12:43,449 Не пердани, пока будешь выходить. А то подашь небольшой дымовой сигнал.
00:12:43,450 --> 00:12:45,349 Ха, ха. Очень смешно. Ха, ха.
00:12:47,450 --> 00:12:49,449 Бля, мы не смогли передать ему напильник.
00:12:49,450 --> 00:12:50,449 И что же нам теперь делать?
00:12:50,450 --> 00:12:52,449 Есть только одно, что мы сможем сделать. Мы должны пойти к Токену и
00:12:52,450 --> 00:12:54,449 попытаться убедить его простить Картмана за совершенное преступление ненависти.
00:12:54,450 --> 00:12:56,149 Пошли, время уходит.
00:12:57,450 --> 00:12:58,449 Ну, ты достал сигареты?
00:12:58,450 --> 00:13:01,449 Да. Они безопасно спрятаны глубоко в моей заднице.
00:13:01,450 --> 00:13:05,549 Отлично. Садись на туалет и доставай их. Я прослежу за охраной.
00:13:13,450 --> 00:13:15,549 А-а. Вылезайте, дебильные сигареты.
00:13:23,050 --> 00:13:25,049 Первая.
00:13:40,150 --> 00:13:45,349 Вторая. О-ох. А-а-а. Ну, давай. А-а. Давай же. Давай же. А-а-а-а.
00:13:53,450 --> 00:13:55,449 О-о. Уф. А, ЧЕРТ ПОБЕРИ...
00:13:55,450 --> 00:13:56,449 Ты смыл их?
00:13:56,450 --> 00:13:58,449 Ну, если ты восемь лет после того, как сходишь в туалет,
00:13:58,450 --> 00:14:00,449 смываешь воду в унитаз, это становиться практически рефлексом.
00:14:00,450 --> 00:14:02,449 Пожалуйста, просто помоги мне выбраться отсюда.
00:14:02,450 --> 00:14:05,449 Ни за что, мудила. Я же уже говорил тебе. И я - не твой друг!
00:14:05,450 --> 00:14:09,449 Если ты хочешь, чтобы я помог тебе, ты должен что-нибудь украсть для меня.
00:14:09,450 --> 00:14:10,449 Сукин сын.
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,799 Чувак, я и не знал, что Токен живет так далеко.
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:20,799 Да. Ты знаешь, они перемещают людей других рас в нашу школу для продвижения культурного разнообразия.
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:22,799 Да, но разве Токен не единственный?
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:24,799 Да.
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:25,799 Привет.
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,799 Привет. А можно Токену выйти и поиграть?
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,799 Ну, на его голове все еще есть небольшая рана, но вы можете войти, если хотите.
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:31,799 Вы просто сногшибательны.
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:34,399 - Токен, ты же не хочешь увидеть, как мы, пацаны, завтра проиграем девчонкам? Не хочешь? - Нет.
00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:35,799 Тогда ты должен позвонить в тюрьму прямо сейчас и сказать им,
00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:38,799 что ты прощаешь Картману его кретинизм. Да.
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:40,799 Я боюсь, мальчики, что все не так просто.
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,799 - Нет? - Видите ли, единственный человек,
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,799 который может освободить Эрика из подростковой колонии - это губернатор.
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,799 ЧЕРТ ВОЗЬМИ. ТВОЮ МАТЬ. ЧЕРТ ВОЗЬМИ!
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:47,799 О, извините.
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:50,799 Не извиняйся. Я вообще-то согласен с тобой.
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:52,799 Да. Я вижу реальную проблему в законодательстве относительно преступлений на почве ненависти.
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,799 Фактически, я хотел бы, чтобы вы, ребятки, сходили к губернатору
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:56,799 и передали ему хотя бы часть моей точки зрения на всё это.
00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:58,799 А почему бы вам самому не поговорить с губернатором?
00:14:58,800 --> 00:14:59,799 О, он бы не послушал меня.
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:01,799 - Но почему? - Потому, что я - черный.
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:03,899 Присядьте, мальчики. Я хотел бы преподать вам
00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:06,299 небольшой урок о законах преступлений на почве ненависти.
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:28,499 О, слава Богу. О, слава Иисусу.
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,799 На, держи, черт тебя подери.
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:33,799 Круто. Моя собственная игра Тик-Так-Тру.
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,799 Чувак, она воняет.
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,799 А какого черта ты ожидал, а?
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,799 Теперь, когда я достал твою дебильную игру, расскажи мне, как свалить отсюда.
00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:43,799 Ты не сможешь выбраться отсюда. Ты будешь здесь сидеть, пока тебе не исполнится двадцать один год, мудила.
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:44,799 Но ты сказал...
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:46,799 Я просто хотел, что бы ты стащил что-нибудь для меня.
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:49,799 Что? Неужели ты действительно думаешь, что я буду суетиться, помогая тебе?
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:50,799 Я думал, что...
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:53,799 Мужик. Тебе лучше начать понимать, как обстоят дела в большом доме.
00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:59,399 ЭЙ, ПАРНИ. У МЕНЯ ПОЯВИЛАСЬ НОВАЯ ТИК-ТАК-ТРУ!
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:04,799 ДА. ОНА НЕМНОГО СТАРОВАТА, НО СОВЕРШЕННО НОВАЯ.
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:08,799 МЫ МОЖЕМ СЫГРАТЬ В НЕЁ НА ПРОГУЛКЕ!
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:10,399 Эй, что ты делаешь.
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:18,699 Ты... ты не можешь плакать в тюрьме, мужик. Мы тебе голову разобьем.
00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:19,799 Да что с тобой такое?
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:23,799 Я хочу мою маму.
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:25,799 Чувак.
00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:29,799 Мама. Я хочу мою маму.
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:32,899 Ладно. Если это так важно для тебя, я помогу тебе выбраться отсюда.
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,099 Поможешь?
00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:38,799 Да. Да, помогу. Но не потому, что ты мой друг.
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:41,799 Только потому, что..., потому что я тоже хочу сбежать
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:43,799 и увидеть Диснейленд.
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:48,799 Губернатор, тут комитет "Немедленно Освободите Эрика Картмана" хочет встретиться с вами.
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:52,899 Нет. Только не еще один комитет. Пусть проходят.
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:56,799 Это и есть комитет "Немедленно Освободите Эрика Картмана"?
00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:57,799 Да.
00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:58,799 Хорошо, мальчики, что я могу сделать для вас?
00:16:58,800 --> 00:16:59,799 Ну, давай, начинай.
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:01,899 - Я не начинаю. Ты начинаешь. - А, да.
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:07,799 Здравствуйте, господин Губернатор, и спасибо, что тратите время
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:08,799 на прослушивание нашей презентации
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:10,799 на тему законов о преступлениях на почве ненависти
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:14,099 "Законы о Преступлениях на почве Ненависти. Дикое Лицемерие".
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,799 Да, за последние несколько лет наша великая страна разработала новые законы о преступлениях на почве ненависти.
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,799 Если кто-то убивает кого-то, это - преступление.
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:23,799 Но если кто-то убивает кого-то другой цвета, то это - преступление на почве ненависти.
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:26,799 И мы считаем, что это и есть дикое лицемерие,
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,799 потому что все преступления - преступления на почве ненависти.
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:30,799 Если человек избивает другого человека за то, что этот человек переспал с его женой,
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:31,799 разве это не преступление на почве ненависти?
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:36,799 Если человек разрушает правительственные здания, то не потому ли, что он ненавидит правительство?
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:39,799 Причина преступления не должна влиять на приговор.
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:41,799 Мэр, пришло время перестать делить людей на группы.
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:43,799 Все законы о преступлении ненависти поддерживают идеи,
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:45,799 что чернокожие отличаются от белых,
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:48,799 что с гомосексуалистами должны обращаться по-другому, чем с негомосексуалистами,
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:49,799 как будто мы не одинаковы.
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,799 Вместо этого ко всем нам должны относиться одинаково,
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,799 по одним и тем же законам и одинаковым наказаниям за одинаковые преступления.
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:58,799 Таким образом, Картман может быть освобожден из тюрьмы, и у нас
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:00,799 появится шанс победить в гонке на санках в четверг.
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:03,799 Это была наша презентация, главную идею которой мы называем...
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:07,799 "Законы о Преступлениях на почве Ненависти. Дикое Лицемерие."
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:11,499 Гм... Это была самая осмысленная презентация, которую я слышал за последние три года.
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:20,899 Торопись. Они пошлют за нами собак.
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:24,799 Что случилось?
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:27,799 Моя нога. Я думаю, она сломалась.
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:28,999 Беги дальше без меня.
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:29,799 Ладно.
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:32,799 Эй, предполагалось, что ты скажешь что-то типа: "Я не пойду без тебя", ну или что-то в это роде.
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:34,799 Серьезно?
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:36,299 Послушай, парень. Ты должен жить дальше.
00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:37,799 У тебя есть то, ради чего там стоит жить. У тебя есть друзья.
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:41,799 Да. Я никогда этого по-настоящему не понимал до сего момента.
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,799 Я уверен, что ты любил бывать в Диснейленде.
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:45,799 Держи. Я хочу, чтобы они были у тебя.
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:46,799 Хорошо.
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,799 Нет. Ты должен сказать, что-то типа: "Я не могу их взять", ну или что-то похожее, кретин.
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:51,799 О. Я не могу их взять.
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:54,899 Возьми. Они принесут тебе удачу. Теперь иди. Выбирайся отсюда.
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,799 Ромпер.
00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:02,799 Ты... ну... Я знаю, что ты никогда не думал о том, что у тебя когда-либо будет друг, но...
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:04,799 ...в общем, ты стал мне другом.
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:06,799 Не двигаться!
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:09,799 Вы не возьмете нас живыми. Мы уйдем вместе, суки.
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:12,799 Но ты был помилован губернатором.
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:14,799 У-ау. Круто. Пока, чуваки!
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:20,799 Ну же. Мы едем или нет?
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:22,799 Нужно просто ждать. Мы добились помилования Картмана. Он будет здесь с минуты на минуту.
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:24,799 Он должен появиться. Он просто обязан.
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:26,799 Давайте уже. У меня уже ноги мерзнут, чудилки.
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:29,799 Да. Если ты боишься гонки, то так и скажи.
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:31,799 Чувак, мне кажется, что мы должны попробовать без него.
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:32,799 Хорошо. Где Клайд?
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:33,799 Здесь.
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:34,799 Залазь на санки, толстый кусок дерьма.
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:39,799 В последний раз - я не жирный, так что, ЧЕРТ ВОЗЬМИ, прекрати называть меня жирным.
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:40,799 На санки, толстожопый.
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,799 Ну, девочки. Время показать мальчишкам, что мы можем. Да!
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,799 Мм, итак. На старт. Внимание.
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:47,799 ЭЙ, ПАРНИ.
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:49,799 Это Картман. Ура!
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:51,799 Точно. Я вернулся.
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:54,799 О, спасибо. Спасибо, что ты вернулся.
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,799 Огромное, огромное спасибо.
00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:57,799 Что за черт с Клайдом?
00:19:57,800 --> 00:19:59,799 Это ваш последний шанс. Мы едем или нет?
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:01,799 Давайте сделаем это.
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:03,799 Итак. Все готовы? По местам.
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,799 Я надеюсь, что смогу приспособиться к жизни за пределами большого дома.
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:07,799 Мм, внимание. Марш!
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:10,799 Я был внутри так долго. Я уже забыл, как жить снаружи.
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:11,899 Поехали, толстожопый.
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,799 Когда человек находится в неволе, проходит через унижения, которые прошел я, это...
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:16,299 ПОЕХАЛИ, ТОЛСТОЖОПЫЙ!
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:19,099 Вперед. Мы должны догнать их!
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:21,799 Мы сделаем их, девчонки.
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:24,199 О, нет. Девчонки собираются победить.
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:27,999 А мы не можем их догнать.
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:41,499 УРА!
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:43,799 Мы сделали это.
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,799 "ДЕВЧОНКИ - ЧЕМПИОНЫ"
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:47,799 МЫ ПОБЕДИЛИ. МЫ ПОБЕДИЛИ!
00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:50,799 Да. Мы показали этим гребаным сукам, кто в доме хозяин.
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,799 Хорошо, что ты вернулся, Картман.
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:54,799 Да. Мы больше не будем считать твою жопу как данность.
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,799 Да, и я никогда не буду считать моих друзей как данность.
00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:01,799 Пусть все услышат, какая у Картмана жирная задница.
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:04,799 Причинение увечий британцу считается преступлением на почве ненависти?
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:05,799 Неа.
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:07,300 Круто!
00:21:09,750 --> 00:21:12,915 Эй, Ромпер Стомпер. Вставай! У тебя посетитель.
00:21:13,093 --> 00:21:14,698 - Эрик. - Эй, Ромпер Стомпер.
00:21:14,972 --> 00:21:17,876 Уау. У меня никогда раньше не было посетителей.
00:21:17,911 --> 00:21:20,731 Ну, это еще не все. Я кое-что припрятал для тебя.
00:21:20,767 --> 00:21:21,505 Серьезно?
00:21:22,634 --> 00:21:25,510 Помнишь, как ты рассказывал мне, что всегда хотел посмотреть Диснейленд?
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:26,266 Да.
00:21:33,585 --> 00:21:35,812 О, ДА. Пираты Карибского моря.
00:21:35,872 --> 00:21:36,990 Уау.
00:21:37,025 --> 00:21:40,201 А вот и Космические горы
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:42,136 О, да.
00:21:44,002 --> 00:21:49,553 Маленький Мир. Гора Всплеска.
00:21:54,180 --> 00:21:56,703 Ух-ты. Монорельсовая дорога.
00:21:57,500 --> 00:21:59,609 Тайминг и перевод - Nfire (nfire@tut.by)

Скриншоты

Тупое преступление Картмана 2000 — скриншот 1

Тупое преступление Картмана 2000 — скриншот 2

Тупое преступление Картмана 2000 — скриншот 3

Тупое преступление Картмана 2000 — скриншот 4

Тупое преступление Картмана 2000 — скриншот 5

Тупое преступление Картмана 2000 — скриншот 6

Тупое преступление Картмана 2000 — скриншот 7

Тупое преступление Картмана 2000 — скриншот 8

Тупое преступление Картмана 2000 — скриншот 9

Тупое преступление Картмана 2000 — скриншот 10

Тупое преступление Картмана 2000 — скриншот 11

Тупое преступление Картмана 2000 — скриншот 12

Тупое преступление Картмана 2000 — скриншот 13

Тупое преступление Картмана 2000 — скриншот 14

Тупое преступление Картмана 2000 — скриншот 15

Тупое преступление Картмана 2000 — скриншот 16

Тупое преступление Картмана 2000 — скриншот 17

Тупое преступление Картмана 2000 — скриншот 18

Тупое преступление Картмана 2000 — скриншот 19

Тупое преступление Картмана 2000 — скриншот 20

Тупое преступление Картмана 2000 — скриншот 21

Тупое преступление Картмана 2000 — скриншот 22

Тупое преступление Картмана 2000 — скриншот 23

Тупое преступление Картмана 2000 — скриншот 24

Тупое преступление Картмана 2000 — скриншот 25

Тупое преступление Картмана 2000 — скриншот 26

Тупое преступление Картмана 2000 — скриншот 27