Тупое преступление Картмана 2000
Описание
Картман кидает камнем в Токена, что расценивается как расовая нетерпимость. Он попадает в тюрьму.
Субтитры
eng__.srt
eng__.srt
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♪ Gonna have myself
a time ♪
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:14,974
♪ Friendly faces
everywhere ♪
00:00:15,099 --> 00:00:16,767
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:18,144
♪ I'm going down
to South Park ♪
00:00:18,269 --> 00:00:20,062
♪ Gonna leave
my woes behind ♪
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:21,731
♪ Ample parking
day or night ♪
00:00:21,856 --> 00:00:23,357
♪ People spouting
"howdy neighbor" ♪
00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:24,650
♪ Headin' on up
to South Park ♪
00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:26,569
♪ Gonna see
if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:31,282
♪ So come on down
to South Park ♪
00:00:31,407 --> 00:00:32,575
♪ And meet
some friends of mine ♪
00:00:38,748 --> 00:00:40,374
Okay, are you guys ready
up there?
00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:41,459
Ready!
00:00:41,584 --> 00:00:43,919
On your marks, get set, go!
00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:47,673
We win again!
- That's not fair!
00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:50,342
Cartman's ass is so fat,
he makes your sled go faster.
00:00:50,468 --> 00:00:51,719
Hey, don't call me fat, Token.
00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:53,804
We want to use the sleds now,
butt pirates.
00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:54,847
Sleds are for guys.
00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:56,390
Yeah, why don't you chicks
00:00:56,515 --> 00:00:58,184
go wash some dishes
or get pregnant or something?
00:00:58,309 --> 00:01:00,436
These are the school's sleds,
ass farmers, not yours.
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:01,937
Look, girls don't even know
how to sled.
00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:03,606
- Do something else.
- Yeah!
00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,149
I bet we can slide
ten times better than you,
00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:06,150
donut punchers.
00:01:06,275 --> 00:01:07,818
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah!
00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:09,195
We'd kick your girlie asses
sledding!
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,654
How about a race
down a real hill then?
00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:11,655
Yeah!
00:01:11,781 --> 00:01:13,282
- You got it!
- Yeah!
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,785
Your best four sledders
against our best four sledders.
00:01:15,910 --> 00:01:17,078
No problem.
00:01:17,203 --> 00:01:18,079
Then we'll see you
this Saturday
00:01:18,204 --> 00:01:19,497
on Phil Collins Hill.
00:01:19,622 --> 00:01:20,581
Phil Collins Hill
on Saturday.
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:21,957
You got it!
See you there.
00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:24,877
And may the best woman win,
turd burglars!
00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:26,629
Oh, boy!
We'll show them!
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,923
Yeah, why, those men will show
those skanky hoes who's who!
00:01:29,048 --> 00:01:31,008
Yeah, those girls
don't realize what good sledders
00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:32,593
Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are.
00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:34,220
Yeah, and with Cartman's
enormously fat ass,
00:01:34,345 --> 00:01:35,805
the boys are sure to win!
00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:37,640
Token, I swear to God,
you call me fat one more time,
00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:39,391
I'm gonna smack you in the head
with this rock.
00:01:39,517 --> 00:01:41,769
Fat ass.
- Ow!
00:01:41,894 --> 00:01:44,438
Heh. Oh.
Uh-oh.
00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:45,981
And what you need
to understand
00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:48,984
is that this is not appropriate
behavior, young man, mm-kay?
00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:50,528
Eric, don't you realize
you could have
00:01:50,653 --> 00:01:52,154
seriously injured
your little friend?
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:53,739
I'm sorry, ma'am.
00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:55,783
Don't apologize to us.
Apologize to him.
00:01:55,908 --> 00:01:57,368
I'm sorry, Token.
00:01:57,493 --> 00:01:58,702
Well, I hope you learned
00:01:58,828 --> 00:02:00,538
that throwing rocks
at people is bad, Eric.
00:02:00,663 --> 00:02:03,165
I sure did, Mr. Mackey.
I mean, I feel really bad.
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:04,667
What was I thinking?
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:07,211
The only thing I can do now
is try to go on
00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:08,254
and live day by day.
00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:09,255
See you later!
00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:10,881
Not this time, Eric.
00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:12,758
You've got to learn to respect
your little friends.
00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:15,177
You're gonna have detention
for two weeks.
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,847
No way!
- Yes way, mm-kay?
00:02:17,972 --> 00:02:19,223
And that settles it!
Now, let's all go--
00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:21,058
Counselor Mackey?
- Yes?
00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:22,977
I'm Agent Sharp,
and this is Agent Keen.
00:02:23,102 --> 00:02:24,895
We're with the FBI.
00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:28,774
We're here to investigate
the rock-throwing incident.
00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:30,776
Well, okay, I've already
taken care of it.
00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:32,194
Eric Cartman, here,
is gonna be punished
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,863
with two weeks of detention.
00:02:33,988 --> 00:02:35,447
I'm afraid it's a bit
more complicated than that,
00:02:35,573 --> 00:02:36,740
Mr. School Counselor.
00:02:36,866 --> 00:02:38,242
You see, since the victim
in this case
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Is African-American,
this is considered a hate crime.
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,040
What the hell is a hate crime?
00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:46,667
Uh, oh. But I don't think
this is--
00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:48,169
New laws have been passed
that make any crime
00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:49,753
based on race, ethnicity,
00:02:49,879 --> 00:02:51,422
or sexual orientation
a federal offense.
00:02:51,547 --> 00:02:53,007
What?
A federal offense?
00:02:53,132 --> 00:02:54,758
Oh, no.
- Oh, no?
00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:56,969
We're sorry, Ms. Cartman,
but we must follow protocol.
00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:58,470
Your son will be taken
into custody
00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:02,183
and then tried
in the federal court of law.
00:03:02,308 --> 00:03:03,976
Oh, my goodness!
00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:06,437
The hate crime trial
of the century is under way,
00:03:06,562 --> 00:03:08,314
and Court TV takes you there.
Live!
00:03:08,439 --> 00:03:10,191
Here's your host,
Leslie Smith.
00:03:10,316 --> 00:03:12,401
What turns a normal,
fat little eight-year-old boy
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,695
into a vicious,
hate-crime-committing racist?
00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,405
We take you live
to the courtroom
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:18,741
as the defendant
takes the stand.
00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:21,827
Mr. Cartman, do you know
a boy by the name of Token?
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,913
Uh, yes.
- Who is Token?
00:03:24,038 --> 00:03:25,956
He's a black kid
that goes to my school.
00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:28,667
Black! Did you say "black"?
You called him "black"?
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,961
He is black.
- Oh, he said it again!
00:03:32,004 --> 00:03:33,005
He is African-American,
00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:34,173
and so you decided
to pick him out.
00:03:34,298 --> 00:03:35,716
I did?
00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:37,343
The rage built and built
inside your head
00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:38,636
until it became too much,
00:03:38,761 --> 00:03:40,471
because you hate
African-Americans!
00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:41,805
No! I hate hippies!
- What?
00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:43,390
I hate hippies
and the way they always talk
00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:45,643
about protecting the Earth
and then drive around in cars
00:03:45,768 --> 00:03:47,770
that get poor gas mileage
and wear those stupid bracelets!
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,355
I hate them!
I want to kick them in the nuts!
00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:50,564
Ooh, poopy-kins--
00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:52,066
Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,
00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:54,443
this is why we have
hate crime laws.
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,070
This monster committed a crime,
00:03:56,195 --> 00:03:58,948
not against an individual
but against a race.
00:03:59,073 --> 00:04:00,241
Do the democratic thing
00:04:00,366 --> 00:04:02,326
and send his fat little butt
to prison.
00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:03,744
Hey! Don't call me fat, asshole!
00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:05,788
The prosecution rests.
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:07,915
Don't forget;
we still have that sledding race
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,500
this Saturday, pillow biters.
00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:10,960
We know.
- Dude, this is horrible.
00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:12,336
We got to get Cartman
out of court
00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:14,129
so we can go practice.
00:04:14,255 --> 00:04:16,006
Eric Cartman,
you have been found guilty
00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:17,424
of committing a hate crime.
00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:19,009
For this, I hereby sentence you
00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:21,845
to the Alamosa Juvenile Hall
until you turn 21.
00:04:21,971 --> 00:04:23,097
No!
00:04:23,222 --> 00:04:24,765
I am making an example of you
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:27,268
to send a message out
to people everywhere
00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:29,812
that if you want to hurt
another human being,
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,146
you better make damn sure
00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:33,691
they're the same color
as you are.
00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:38,404
Court is adjourned.
00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:40,197
Yahoo! Hooray!
00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:42,324
Bailiffs, escort this little
bastard to juvenile hall.
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:43,909
Yes, sir.
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:46,578
Alright, you!
Uh, where'd he go?
00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:50,791
Kenny! Kenny!
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,543
You have to get me out of town!
00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:54,295
They're gonna put me
in jail for a hate crime.
00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:56,297
You have to take me to Mexico!
- Mexico?
00:04:56,422 --> 00:04:57,464
Ooh!
00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:59,008
Calm down, Kenny!
- Hey!
00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:00,634
Do you still have
that battery-powered toy truck
00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:01,635
you got last Christmas?
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:02,636
Yeah.
- Well, come on.
00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:03,637
I don't have much time!
00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:15,899
A car chase is evolving
00:05:16,025 --> 00:05:18,193
on the 285 Corridor
east of South Park.
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:19,778
Hate crime suspect
Eric Cartman
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:21,697
is trying to outrun
federal prosecutors
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,657
in his friend's
Go-Go Action Bronco.
00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:25,284
Our eye in the sky,
Greg Nimens, is there live.
00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:26,869
Greg?
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:28,454
Tom, it looks like
the Go-Go Action Bronco
00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:30,414
is heading east on 285.
00:05:30,539 --> 00:05:32,291
Police officers are
right behind him,
00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:33,375
but as with any chase,
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:34,877
they're keeping a safe distance
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,420
to avoid any accidents here
out on the highway.
00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:38,505
Tom, it looks like the fugitive
is going to make a bold move
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,090
off an exit of 285.
00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:41,842
He's going into a residential
neighborhood now.
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:43,385
This is where
it could get dangerous
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:44,928
as there are pedestrians about.
00:05:45,054 --> 00:05:46,638
Damn it, Kenny!
Can't this thing go any faster?
00:05:46,764 --> 00:05:47,931
I'm going as fast as I can.
00:05:48,057 --> 00:05:49,266
Tom, the police
have set a roadblock
00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:51,310
right where the Go-Go
Action Bronco is heading.
00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:53,228
This could be
the final standoff.
00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:54,897
Alright,
that's far enough.
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:57,733
Stop the Go-Go Action Bronco
and come out with your hands up.
00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:01,737
Just bring it to a stop
and come on out.
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:06,992
Jesus!
He's gonna ram it!
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:23,884
Crazy son of a bitch.
00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:26,220
Well, it's been
over 13 hours now,
00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:28,263
and still the car chase
has not ended.
00:06:28,389 --> 00:06:29,932
What the hell are they doing?
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,558
The chase has now moved
through most of Arizona
00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:32,893
and nears the Mexican border.
00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:34,561
Dude, if Kenny takes Cartman
to Mexico,
00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:36,730
how are we ever gonna win
the sledding race on Saturday?
00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:38,148
Don't worry, dude;
that little truck
00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:39,441
just runs on "D" batteries.
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:40,818
It's gonna run
out of juice soon.
00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:43,695
We're gonna make it, Kenny!
00:06:43,821 --> 00:06:44,822
We're gonna make it to Mexico!
00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:49,493
Oh, God damn it!
00:06:54,415 --> 00:06:55,874
Hello?
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:57,793
Cartman's going to jail,
00:06:57,918 --> 00:07:00,504
and you've got four days
until the race, rump rangers.
00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:02,131
Son of a bitch!
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,847
Here we are.
The end of the road.
00:07:40,419 --> 00:07:43,797
Prisoner 24601, arriving.
00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:45,007
Forward, prisoner.
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:47,176
You will wake up each morning
at 0500.
00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:49,595
Lockdown is until 0900.
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:50,971
At 10:00, we begin
random searches
00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:52,639
and checks for contraband.
00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:56,310
At 11:30, we have nap time,
followed by finger painting.
00:07:56,435 --> 00:07:59,188
Your cellmate is Romper Stomper.
00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:01,398
Romper Stomper?
- Not Romper.
00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:02,983
Who's Romper Stomper?
00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:05,486
I am.
00:08:05,611 --> 00:08:07,988
And I don't want
no new cellmate.
00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,656
You don't have a choice,
Stomper.
00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:11,950
Now, show this new prisoner
the ropes.
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:15,496
Oh, I will.
You bet your ass I will.
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,373
Alright, guys, it looks like
00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:20,042
Cartman's not gonna be able
to sled with us
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:22,044
for about another...13 years,
so in the meantime,
00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:24,296
we need someone to race with us
against the girls on Saturday.
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:26,173
Yeah, Cartman's weight
was what gave us speed,
00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:29,134
so we need to find the next
fattest kid besides Cartman.
00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:31,803
Come on, who's the second
fattest kid in South Park?
00:08:31,929 --> 00:08:33,847
I think Clyde is
the next fattest kid.
00:08:33,972 --> 00:08:34,890
Huh?
- Yeah.
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,225
Okay, get over here, Clyde.
00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:37,726
I'm not fat.
- Deal with it, dude.
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,019
Cartman's gone,
so now you're the fat kid.
00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:41,021
Yeah, fat-ass.
Get your fat butt on the sled.
00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:42,981
Hey, I'm not fat, you guys.
I'm just kind of big-boned.
00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:44,358
Yeah, that's what they
all say.
00:08:44,483 --> 00:08:45,776
Okay, ready?
Go!
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:49,696
Aw, gay, dude!
00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:51,698
We don't even have enough weight
to move.
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:53,450
See you Saturday,
poo stabbers.
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:54,701
Nice going, fat boy.
00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:59,831
Well, well, well.
New fish.
00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:01,250
How about you come up
with a reason
00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:02,751
why we don't break your arms?
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,211
Yeah!
00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:05,671
Uh, 'cause I'm just like
you guys.
00:09:05,796 --> 00:09:06,672
I'm one of you.
00:09:06,797 --> 00:09:07,714
Oh, yeah?
00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:09,132
The way I see it,
00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:10,342
There's two kinds of kids
in the world:
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:12,135
kids who like Animaniacs
00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:14,680
and kids who don't like
Animaniacs.
00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:16,223
You're either with us,
or you're against us.
00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:17,641
So which are you?
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:21,019
Oh, uh, well, personally, I--
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:23,564
Uh...I...
00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:27,192
Don't like Animaniacs?
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:29,653
Neither do we.
- Oh, thank you, Jesus.
00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:31,196
So we're friends now?
- No.
00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:33,073
There's no friends
in the big house.
00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:35,826
You come in with nobody,
and you leave with nobody.
00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:38,078
- We don't believe in "friends."
- Yeah!
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:40,330
Yeah, neither do I.
Friends suck.
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:42,124
Now, go find me
some cigarettes,
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,042
and I'll tell you
how to bust out of here.
00:09:46,545 --> 00:09:48,463
Okay, we figured it out.
00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:50,507
To add more weight to the sled,
we're gonna use these bricks.
00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,259
But we're gonna cover them
with kids' clothes
00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:53,760
so that the girls think
it's another kid.
00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:55,095
Oh, that's a wonderful idea.
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,471
So I don't get to be
on the team now?
00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:58,056
Shut up, fat-ass.
00:09:58,181 --> 00:09:59,433
Yeah, why don't you go eat
some more pork rinds
00:09:59,558 --> 00:10:00,934
or something, you fat fuck?
00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:04,563
Come on.
Let's give it a try.
00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:05,814
Whee!
00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:09,818
Whoa!
Look out! Look out!
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:12,154
Dude, bail! Bail!
- Whoa!
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:13,155
Huh?
00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:20,662
Oh, my God.
We killed Kenny.
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:21,872
We killed Kenny?
00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:24,041
We killed Kenny.
We're bastards.
00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:25,542
Well, that didn't work.
What else can we try?
00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:26,918
Nothing else is gonna work.
00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:28,754
We have to face the fact
that without Cartman,
00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:30,047
we're gonna lose
to a bunch of girls.
00:10:30,172 --> 00:10:32,591
Well, I sure do hate to see
my gender lose
00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:33,925
to a bunch of women.
00:10:34,051 --> 00:10:35,761
This is a sad day
for men everywhere.
00:10:35,886 --> 00:10:37,304
You know something, guys?
00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:38,889
I think we all took
Cartman's ass for granted.
00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:39,890
Yup.
00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:41,350
If only we had realized
00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:43,226
how special our time
with his gigantic ass was.
00:10:43,352 --> 00:10:44,936
And all that time,
we didn't understand
00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:47,648
what a unique
and magical ass it was.
00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:49,524
Whoo-hoo!
Great time, girls!
00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,485
Oh, gee, looks like
you lost another sledder.
00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:54,529
Good luck on Saturday,
donut punchers!
00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:56,239
That does it!
We've got no other choice.
00:10:56,365 --> 00:10:57,866
We've got to bust Cartman
out of jail.
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,201
- Huh?
- How?
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:00,827
I saw a movie once
where they baked a cake
00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:02,329
and put a nail file
inside of it.
00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:05,415
Sweet! Let's go!
00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:10,962
And have you been brushing
your teeth?
00:11:11,088 --> 00:11:13,382
Yes, Mommy.
- And not dropping your soap?
00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:14,925
Yes, Mommy.
- Hi, Mom.
00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:16,426
Young man,
that is the fourth time
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:17,886
you've been late
for our visiting time.
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:18,887
You are grounded.
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:19,888
Grounded?
Oh, no!
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,098
Uh, wait--
00:11:21,223 --> 00:11:22,766
Here you go, boys.
Keep it short.
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,434
Hey, guys.
- Hey, fat-ass, how's prison?
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:26,311
Well, it sucks balls.
What do you you think?
00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:28,021
Cartman, why the hell did you
have to commit a hate crime?
00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:29,523
We're gonna lose to girls
because of you.
00:11:29,648 --> 00:11:30,816
Yeah, so you got to bust
out of here.
00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:32,442
So we made you this cake.
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:34,820
There's
a ail-nay ile-fay inside of it.
00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:37,489
A what?
- An ail-nay ile-fay.
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,408
What's that?
Listen, aggot-fay!
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,785
An ail-nay ile-fay so you can
eak-bray out of ison-pray!
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:43,578
Yeah, you stupid
umb-ass-day!
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:45,288
I'd love to eat a cake,
you guys, but they don't let us
00:11:45,414 --> 00:11:46,832
take anything back
to the cells from here.
00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:48,083
They on't-day?
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,251
Why the ell-hay ot-nay?
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:50,377
It ook-tay our-fay ours-hay
00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:52,212
to ake-bay
this oddamn-gay ake-cay,
00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:54,423
and ow-nay, e're-way
otally-tay ewed-scray!
00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:56,091
Yeah.
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,300
Look, that's not important
right now.
00:11:57,426 --> 00:11:59,052
Did you guys
bring the cigarettes?
00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:00,512
Well, we got some cigarettes,
00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:02,097
but we don't think
you should be smoking.
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,598
Each year,
over a million people die of--
00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:05,100
Just hand over
the goddamn cigarettes!
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,768
Shh!
- Look, if you guys want me back
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,854
to win the sledding race,
then I need those cigarettes.
00:12:08,979 --> 00:12:10,313
How are we supposed
to give them to you?
00:12:10,439 --> 00:12:12,524
Just pass them through
these little drill holes here.
00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:14,401
That's what everybody does.
00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:16,361
But they're gonna search you
on your way back to your cell.
00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:19,364
I know; that's why
I have to hide them up my ass.
00:12:21,116 --> 00:12:22,242
Shut up, you guys!
It's not funny!
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:23,243
Alright.
Here.
00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:28,415
Okay, there's--
00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:33,378
Wow, I really wish I hadn't
sat here and watched that.
00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:35,046
Me too.
00:12:35,172 --> 00:12:37,215
Okay, guys,
if you'll excuse me,
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,009
I must be going now.
00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:40,260
Don't fart on your way out.
00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:41,386
You might make little
smoke signals.
00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:44,931
Ha-ha.
Very funny, you guys.
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:47,392
Ha-ha.
00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:49,186
That sucks we couldn't give
him the nail file.
00:12:49,311 --> 00:12:50,479
So now what do we do?
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:51,730
There's only one thing
we can do.
00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:53,356
We have to go see Token
00:12:53,482 --> 00:12:55,317
and see if he'll forgive Cartman
for hate-criming him.
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,235
Come on.
We're running out of time.
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:58,945
Well, did you get
the cigarettes?
00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:01,948
Yes, they are safely concealed
in the depths of my ass.
00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:04,242
Alright, go sit
on the toilet and poop them out.
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:06,828
I'll keep an eye out
for the guards.
00:13:13,043 --> 00:13:14,252
Come on, you stupid cigarettes!
00:13:22,594 --> 00:13:24,846
Plop!
There's one...
00:13:33,522 --> 00:13:36,316
Plop!
Two...
00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:43,114
Come on!
Come on, now!
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,242
Come on!
00:13:45,367 --> 00:13:47,327
Plop!
00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:49,746
Whew!
00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:53,333
Ahh.
00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:55,502
Oh, god damn it!
00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:56,920
You flushed them?
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:58,421
Well, you spend eight years
taking a crap
00:13:58,547 --> 00:14:00,757
and then flushing the toilet,
it sort of becomes a reflex.
00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:02,592
Please, just help me
bust out of here.
00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:05,637
No way, douche.
I told you, I ain't your friend.
00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:07,556
If you want me to help you,
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:09,558
you're gonna have to sneak
something else in for me.
00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:10,725
Son of a bitch!
00:14:15,564 --> 00:14:17,399
Dude, I didn't know
Token lived so far away.
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,401
Yeah, you know, they bus in
people from different races
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,152
to our school to promote
cultural diversity.
00:14:21,278 --> 00:14:22,445
Yeah, but isn't Token
the only one?
00:14:22,571 --> 00:14:23,822
Yeah.
00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:25,490
Hello.
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:26,867
Hi.
Can Token come out and play?
00:14:26,992 --> 00:14:28,285
Well, his head's still
a little sore.
00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:29,953
But you can come in if you like.
- Killer.
00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:31,121
Token, you don't want to see
00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:32,414
us guys lose to girls tomorrow,
do you?
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:33,957
No.
00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:35,750
Well, then you've got to call
the jail right now
00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:38,503
and tell them that you forgive
Cartman for being a dumb-ass.
00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:39,963
I'm afraid it's not
that simple, boys.
00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:40,964
It's not?
- No.
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,257
You see, the only person
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:43,425
that can let Eric
out of juvenile hall
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:44,885
is the governor.
00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:46,803
Damn it!
Son of a bitch, damn it!
00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:49,639
Oh. Sorry.
- No, I actually agree with you.
00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:51,182
Huh?
- Yeah.
00:14:51,308 --> 00:14:53,059
I have a real problem
with hate crime legislation.
00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:54,895
In fact, I'd love to see
you kids go down
00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:56,813
and give the governor
a piece of my mind.
00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:58,773
Well, why don't you tell
the governor yourself?
00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:00,317
Oh, he wouldn't listen to me.
- Why not?
00:15:00,442 --> 00:15:01,902
- Because I'm black.
- Oh.
00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:03,111
Sit down, boys.
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,362
I'm gonna give you
a little lesson
00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:05,864
about hate crime laws.
00:15:22,172 --> 00:15:23,423
splash!
00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:27,844
Oh, thank God!
Oh, thank you, Jesus!
00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:31,139
Here you go, god damn it!
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,808
Cool!
My very own tic tac throw game!
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:35,810
Oh, it smells, man!
00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:37,479
Well, what the hell
do you expect, huh?
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:38,647
Now I got your stupid game.
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:39,981
Tell me how to break
out of here.
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:41,441
You're not gonna
break out of here.
00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:43,193
You're here till you're 21,
douche.
00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:44,653
But you said--
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,571
I just wanted you
to sneak stuff in for me.
00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:49,240
What, you actually think
I give a crap about you?
00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:50,241
I thought that--
00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:51,576
Man, you better wise up
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:53,578
to the way things work
in the big house.
00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:56,665
Hey, guys!
I gots me a new tic tac throw!
00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:04,214
Yeah, it's a little ripe,
but it's brand-new, man.
00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:06,216
We can play it at recess.
00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:09,886
Hey, what are you doing?
00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:16,309
You--you can't cry
in prison, man.
00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:18,812
They'll bust your head open.
What's the matter with you?
00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:23,525
I want my mom!
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,068
Dude.
00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:28,238
Mommy!
I want my mommy!
00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:31,616
Look, if it's
that important to you,
00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:32,951
I'll bust you out of here.
00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:34,202
You will?
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,246
Yeah.
Yeah, I will.
00:16:36,371 --> 00:16:38,289
But not because
you're my friend.
00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:41,292
Only because--
because I want to bust out too
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:43,044
and see Disneyland.
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:46,339
Governor,
00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:47,507
the "Free Eric Cartman Now"
Committee
00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:48,883
is here to see you.
00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:50,218
Oh, not another committee.
Send them in.
00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:56,016
This is the "Free Eric Cartman
Now" Committee?
00:16:56,141 --> 00:16:57,267
Yeah.
00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:58,643
Well, boys,
what can I do for you?
00:16:58,768 --> 00:16:59,686
Okay, go ahead and start.
00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:00,562
I don't start.
You start.
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:01,521
Oh, yeah.
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,025
Hello, Mr. Governor,
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:06,526
and thank you for taking
the time
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:10,238
to hear our presentation
on hate crime laws entitled
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,240
"Hate Crime Laws:
A Savage Hypocrisy."
00:17:14,993 --> 00:17:16,161
Yes, over the past few years,
00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:17,412
our great country
has been developing
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:18,913
new hate crime laws.
00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:20,623
If somebody kills somebody,
it's a crime.
00:17:20,749 --> 00:17:22,417
But if someone kills somebody
of a different color,
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:23,918
it's a hate crime.
00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:26,504
And we think that that is
a savage hypocrisy,
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,089
because all crimes
are hate crimes.
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:29,507
If a man beats another man
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:31,051
because that man was sleeping
with his wife,
00:17:31,176 --> 00:17:32,427
is that not a hate crime?
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,471
If a person vandalizes
a government building,
00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:36,973
is it not because of his hate
for the government?
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:39,726
The motivation for a crime
shouldn't affect the sentencing.
00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:42,479
Mayor, it is time to stop
splitting people into groups.
00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:44,481
All hate crime laws do
is support the ideas
00:17:44,606 --> 00:17:45,899
that blacks are different
from whites,
00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:47,067
that homosexuals need to be
00:17:47,192 --> 00:17:48,943
treated differently
from non-homos,
00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:50,445
that we aren't the same.
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,197
But instead, we should all
be treated the same
00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:53,531
with the same laws
00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:55,533
and the same punishments
for the same crimes,
00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,660
for in that way,
Cartman can be freed from prison
00:17:57,786 --> 00:18:01,122
and we will have a chance to win
the sledding race on Thursday.
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,541
That is our presentation,
an idea that we call...
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:05,960
"Hate Crime Laws:
a Savage Hypocrisy."
00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:07,712
Hmm.
00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:10,006
That made the most sense
of any presentation I've heard
00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:11,800
in the last three years.
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:19,724
Hurry up!
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:22,435
They're sending the dogs
after us!
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,687
Ow!
- What's the matter?
00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:25,897
It's my leg.
I think it's broke.
00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:28,983
You go on ahead without me.
00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:29,984
Okay.
- Hey!
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,486
You're supposed to say,
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:32,946
"I'm not going without you,"
or something.
00:18:33,071 --> 00:18:34,197
Oh.
Really?
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:35,657
Look, kid.
You go on.
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,242
You've got something
to live for out there.
00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:38,701
You've got friends.
- Yeah.
00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:41,162
I never really realized that
until just now.
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:43,665
I sure would have liked
to have seen Disneyland.
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:44,916
Here, I want you to have these.
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:46,543
Okay.
- No!
00:18:46,668 --> 00:18:48,002
You're supposed to say,
00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:49,921
"I can't take these,"
or something, dumb-ass!
00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:51,589
Oh.
I can't take these.
00:18:51,714 --> 00:18:53,258
Take them.
They'll bring you luck.
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:56,302
Now, go on.
Get out of here.
00:18:56,427 --> 00:18:57,637
Romper?
- Yeah?
00:18:57,762 --> 00:19:00,056
You--well,
I know you don't think
00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:01,432
you've ever been
anybody's friend,
00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:04,811
but, well,
you're a friend to me.
00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:06,938
Alright, freeze!
00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:09,858
You'll never take us alive!
We're going down together, pigs!
00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:12,193
But you've been pardoned
by the governor.
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,445
Oh, sweet!
Later, dudes.
00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:20,034
Well, come on!
Are we racing or not?
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,619
Just wait.
We got Cartman pardoned.
00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:23,163
He'll be here any second.
00:19:23,288 --> 00:19:24,706
He's got to show up.
He's just got to!
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:27,000
Come on, my feet are
getting cold, fudge packers!
00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:29,502
Yeah, if you're too scared
to race, just say so.
00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:31,337
Dude, I guess we just
got to try it without him.
00:19:31,462 --> 00:19:32,839
Alright, where's Clyde?
- Right here.
00:19:32,964 --> 00:19:34,507
Get on the sled,
you fat piece of shit!
00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:35,967
For the last time,
I'm not fat,
00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:38,803
so stop calling me fat,
god damn it!
00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:40,305
On the sled, fat-ass.
00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:42,640
Okay, girls, time to show
the boys what we can do.
00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:43,725
Yeah!
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,727
Okay.
Ready, set--
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,854
You guys!
00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:49,147
- It's Cartman!
- Hooray!
00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:51,316
That's right, I'm back.
00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:54,277
Oh, thank you.
Thank you for coming back.
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:56,487
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:57,906
What the hell is wrong
with Clyde?
00:19:58,031 --> 00:19:59,991
This is your last chance.
Are we racing or not?
00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:01,409
Alright!
Let's do this!
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,995
Okay, everybody ready?
On your marks...
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,788
I hope I can adapt to life
outside of the big house.
00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:07,540
Get set, go!
00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:08,750
I've been on the inside
for so long.
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,376
I don't remember how to live
on the outside.
00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:11,544
Go, fat-ass!
00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:13,046
When a man is stripped
of his freedom,
00:20:13,171 --> 00:20:14,464
degraded in the ways
that I was, it's--
00:20:14,589 --> 00:20:16,049
Go, fat-ass!
00:20:16,174 --> 00:20:18,259
Come on!
We got to catch up to them!
00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:22,055
We got them, girls!
00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:24,599
Oh, no!
The girls are gonna win!
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,184
You can do it!
- Come on!
00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:28,144
We're not gonna make it!
00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:29,395
Aha!
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,242
Hooray!
00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:43,284
We did it!
00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:47,538
We won! We won!
- Yeah!
00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:48,998
Why, we sure gave
those skanky bitches what for!
00:20:49,123 --> 00:20:50,541
Yeah!
00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:52,126
It's good to have you back,
Cartman.
00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:54,295
Yeah, we're never gonna take
your ass for granted ever again.
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:55,630
Yeah, and I'm never gonna
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,382
take my friends for granted
ever again.
00:20:57,507 --> 00:21:00,051
Let's all hear it
for Cartman's big fat ass!
00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:02,053
Ooh!
00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:04,389
Do British people count
as an ethnicity for hate crimes?
00:21:04,514 --> 00:21:05,390
- Nah.
- Sweet.
00:21:09,978 --> 00:21:11,479
Hey, Romper Stomper!
Get up!
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,356
You got a visitor.
00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:15,233
Eric!
- Hey Romper Stomper!
00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:18,111
Wow!
I've never had a visitor before.
00:21:18,236 --> 00:21:19,279
Well, that's not all.
00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:20,571
I snuck something in
for you too.
00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:22,657
You did?
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:23,825
You know how you told me
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,326
you always wanted to see
Disneyland?
00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:28,371
Yeah.
00:21:34,377 --> 00:21:35,837
There's Pirates
of the Caribbean.
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:37,839
Whoa!
00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:38,840
Here comes Space Mountain!
00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:42,552
Oh, yeah!
00:21:42,677 --> 00:21:45,430
it's a Small World!
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:49,434
Splash Mountain comes next!
00:21:54,689 --> 00:21:55,815
Oh, the Monorail!
eng__SDH.srt
eng__SDH.srt
00:00:11,387 --> 00:00:13,222
♪ Gonna have myself
a time ♪
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:14,974
Both: ♪ Friendly faces
everywhere ♪
00:00:15,099 --> 00:00:16,767
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:18,144
♪ I'm going down
to South Park ♪
00:00:18,269 --> 00:00:20,062
♪ Gonna leave
my woes behind ♪
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:21,731
♪ Ample parking
day or night ♪
00:00:21,856 --> 00:00:23,357
♪ People spouting
"howdy neighbor" ♪
00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:24,650
♪ Headin' on up
to South Park ♪
00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:26,569
♪ Gonna see
if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:29,905
♪ [muffled] ♪
00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:31,282
♪ So come on down
to South Park ♪
00:00:31,407 --> 00:00:32,575
♪ And meet
some friends of mine ♪
00:00:38,748 --> 00:00:40,374
Okay, are you guys ready
up there?
00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:41,459
[all]
Ready!
00:00:41,584 --> 00:00:43,919
On your marks, get set, go!
00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:47,673
We win again!
- That's not fair!
00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:50,342
Cartman's ass is so fat,
he makes your sled go faster.
00:00:50,468 --> 00:00:51,719
Hey, don't call me fat, Token.
00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:53,804
We want to use the sleds now,
butt pirates.
00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:54,847
Sleds are for guys.
00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:56,390
Yeah, why don't you chicks
00:00:56,515 --> 00:00:58,184
go wash some dishes
or get pregnant or something?
00:00:58,309 --> 00:01:00,436
These are the school's sleds,
ass farmers, not yours.
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:01,937
Look, girls don't even know
how to sled.
00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:03,606
Do something else.
- All: Yeah!
00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,149
I bet we can slide
ten times better than you,
00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:06,150
donut punchers.
00:01:06,275 --> 00:01:07,818
Oh, yeah?
- All: Yeah!
00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:09,195
We'd kick your girlie asses
sledding!
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,654
How about a race
down a real hill then?
00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:11,655
All: Yeah!
00:01:11,781 --> 00:01:13,282
You got it!
- All: yeah!
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,785
Your best four sledders
against our best four sledders.
00:01:15,910 --> 00:01:17,078
No problem.
00:01:17,203 --> 00:01:18,079
Then we'll see you
this Saturday
00:01:18,204 --> 00:01:19,497
on Phil Collins Hill.
00:01:19,622 --> 00:01:20,581
Phil Collins Hill
on Saturday.
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:21,957
You got it!
See you there.
00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:24,877
And may the best woman win,
turd burglars!
00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:26,629
Oh, boy!
We'll show them!
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,923
Yeah, why, those men will show
those skanky hoes who's who!
00:01:29,048 --> 00:01:31,008
Yeah, those girls
don't realize what good sledders
00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:32,593
Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are.
00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:34,220
Yeah, and with Cartman's
enormously fat ass,
00:01:34,345 --> 00:01:35,805
the boys are sure to win!
00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:37,640
Token, I swear to God,
you call me fat one more time,
00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:39,391
I'm gonna smack you in the head
with this rock.
00:01:39,517 --> 00:01:41,769
Fat ass.
- Ow!
00:01:41,894 --> 00:01:44,438
Heh. Oh.
Uh-oh.
00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:45,981
And what you need
to understand
00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:48,984
is that this is not appropriate
behavior, young man, mm-kay?
00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:50,528
Eric, don't you realize
you could have
00:01:50,653 --> 00:01:52,154
seriously injured
your little friend?
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:53,739
I'm sorry, ma'am.
00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:55,783
Don't apologize to us.
Apologize to him.
00:01:55,908 --> 00:01:57,368
I'm sorry, Token.
00:01:57,493 --> 00:01:58,702
Well, I hope you learned
00:01:58,828 --> 00:02:00,538
that throwing rocks
at people is bad, Eric.
00:02:00,663 --> 00:02:03,165
I sure did, Mr. Mackey.
I mean, I feel really bad.
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:04,667
What was I thinking?
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:07,211
The only thing I can do now
is try to go on
00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:08,254
and live day by day.
00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:09,255
See you later!
00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:10,881
Not this time, Eric.
00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:12,758
You've got to learn to respect
your little friends.
00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:15,177
You're gonna have detention
for two weeks.
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,847
No way!
- Yes way, mm-kay?
00:02:17,972 --> 00:02:19,223
And that settles it!
Now, let's all go--
00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:21,058
Counselor Mackey?
- Yes?
00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:22,977
I'm Agent Sharp,
and this is Agent Keen.
00:02:23,102 --> 00:02:24,895
We're with the FBI.
00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:28,774
We're here to investigate
the rock-throwing incident.
00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:30,776
Well, okay, I've already
taken care of it.
00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:32,194
Eric Cartman, here,
is gonna be punished
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,863
with two weeks of detention.
00:02:33,988 --> 00:02:35,447
I'm afraid it's a bit
more complicated than that,
00:02:35,573 --> 00:02:36,740
Mr. School Counselor.
00:02:36,866 --> 00:02:38,242
You see, since the victim
in this case
00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:43,372
Is African-American,
this is considered a hate crime.
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,040
What the hell is a hate crime?
00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:46,667
Uh, oh. But I don't think
this is--
00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:48,169
New laws have been passed
that make any crime
00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:49,753
based on race, ethnicity,
00:02:49,879 --> 00:02:51,422
or sexual orientation
a federal offense.
00:02:51,547 --> 00:02:53,007
What?
A federal offense?
00:02:53,132 --> 00:02:54,758
Oh, no.
- Oh, no?
00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:56,969
We're sorry, Ms. Cartman,
but we must follow protocol.
00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:58,470
Your son will be taken
into custody
00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:02,183
and then tried
in the federal court of law.
00:03:02,308 --> 00:03:03,976
Oh, my goodness!
00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:06,437
The hate crime trial
of the century is under way,
00:03:06,562 --> 00:03:08,314
and Court TV takes you there.
Live!
00:03:08,439 --> 00:03:10,191
Here's your host,
Leslie Smith.
00:03:10,316 --> 00:03:12,401
What turns a normal,
fat little eight-year-old boy
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,695
into a vicious,
hate-crime-committing racist?
00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,405
We take you live
to the courtroom
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:18,741
as the defendant
takes the stand.
00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:21,827
Mr. Cartman, do you know
a boy by the name of Token?
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,913
Uh, yes.
- Who is Token?
00:03:24,038 --> 00:03:25,956
He's a black kid
that goes to my school.
00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:28,667
Black! Did you say "black"?
You called him "black"?
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,961
He is black.
- Oh, he said it again!
00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:31,879
[all gasp]
00:03:32,004 --> 00:03:33,005
He is African-American,
00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:34,173
and so you decided
to pick him out.
00:03:34,298 --> 00:03:35,716
I did?
00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:37,343
The rage built and built
inside your head
00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:38,636
until it became too much,
00:03:38,761 --> 00:03:40,471
because you hate
African-Americans!
00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:41,805
No! I hate hippies!
- What?
00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:43,390
I hate hippies
and the way they always talk
00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:45,643
about protecting the Earth
and then drive around in cars
00:03:45,768 --> 00:03:47,770
that get poor gas mileage
and wear those stupid bracelets!
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,355
I hate them!
I want to kick them in the nuts!
00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:50,564
Ooh, poopy-kins--
00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:52,066
Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,
00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:54,443
this is why we have
hate crime laws.
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,070
This monster committed a crime,
00:03:56,195 --> 00:03:58,948
not against an individual
but against a race.
00:03:59,073 --> 00:04:00,241
Do the democratic thing
00:04:00,366 --> 00:04:02,326
and send his fat little butt
to prison.
00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:03,744
Hey! Don't call me fat, asshole!
00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:05,788
The prosecution rests.
[gavel bangs]
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:07,915
Don't forget;
we still have that sledding race
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,500
this Saturday, pillow biters.
00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:10,960
[both] We know.
- Dude, this is horrible.
00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:12,336
We got to get Cartman
out of court
00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:14,129
so we can go practice.
00:04:14,255 --> 00:04:16,006
Eric Cartman,
you have been found guilty
00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:17,424
of committing a hate crime.
00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:19,009
For this, I hereby sentence you
00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:21,845
to the Alamosa Juvenile Hall
until you turn 21.
00:04:21,971 --> 00:04:23,097
No!
00:04:23,222 --> 00:04:24,765
I am making an example of you
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:27,268
to send a message out
to people everywhere
00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:29,812
that if you want to hurt
another human being,
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,146
you better make damn sure
00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:33,691
they're the same color
as you are.
00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:38,404
Court is adjourned.
[gavel bangs]
00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:40,197
[together]
Yahoo! Hooray!
00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:42,324
Bailiffs, escort this little
bastard to juvenile hall.
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:43,909
Yes, sir.
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:46,578
Alright, you!
Uh, where'd he go?
00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:50,791
[knocks on door]
Kenny! Kenny!
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,543
You have to get me out of town!
- [muffled]
00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:54,295
They're gonna put me
in jail for a hate crime.
00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:56,297
You have to take me to Mexico!
- Mexico?
00:04:56,422 --> 00:04:57,464
[muffled]
Ooh!
00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:59,008
Calm down, Kenny!
- Hey!
00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:00,634
Do you still have
that battery-powered toy truck
00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:01,635
you got last Christmas?
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:02,636
Yeah.
- Well, come on.
00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:03,637
I don't have much time!
00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:11,937
[wheels squeaking]
00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:15,899
A car chase is evolving
00:05:16,025 --> 00:05:18,193
on the 285 Corridor
east of South Park.
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:19,778
Hate crime suspect
Eric Cartman
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:21,697
is trying to outrun
federal prosecutors
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,657
in his friend's
Go-Go Action Bronco.
00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:25,284
Our eye in the sky,
Greg Nimens, is there live.
00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:26,869
Greg?
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:28,454
Tom, it looks like
the Go-Go Action Bronco
00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:30,414
is heading east on 285.
00:05:30,539 --> 00:05:32,291
Police officers are
right behind him,
00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:33,375
but as with any chase,
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:34,877
they're keeping a safe distance
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,420
to avoid any accidents here
out on the highway.
00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:38,505
Tom, it looks like the fugitive
is going to make a bold move
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,090
off an exit of 285.
00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:41,842
He's going into a residential
neighborhood now.
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:43,385
This is where
it could get dangerous
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:44,928
as there are pedestrians about.
00:05:45,054 --> 00:05:46,638
Damn it, Kenny!
Can't this thing go any faster?
00:05:46,764 --> 00:05:47,931
I'm going as fast as I can.
00:05:48,057 --> 00:05:49,266
Tom, the police
have set a roadblock
00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:51,310
right where the Go-Go
Action Bronco is heading.
00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:53,228
This could be
the final standoff.
00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:54,897
Alright,
that's far enough.
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:57,733
Stop the Go-Go Action Bronco
and come out with your hands up.
00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,360
[wheels squeaking]
00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:01,737
Just bring it to a stop
and come on out.
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,614
[wheels squeaking]
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:06,992
Jesus!
He's gonna ram it!
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:09,244
[all shouting]
00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:10,412
[dull thud]
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,122
[wheels grinding]
00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:14,583
[metal creaking]
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:23,884
Crazy son of a bitch.
00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:26,220
Well, it's been
over 13 hours now,
00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:28,263
and still the car chase
has not ended.
00:06:28,389 --> 00:06:29,932
What the hell are they doing?
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,558
The chase has now moved
through most of Arizona
00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:32,893
and nears the Mexican border.
00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:34,561
Dude, if Kenny takes Cartman
to Mexico,
00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:36,730
how are we ever gonna win
the sledding race on Saturday?
00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:38,148
Don't worry, dude;
that little truck
00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:39,441
just runs on "D" batteries.
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:40,818
It's gonna run
out of juice soon.
00:06:40,943 --> 00:06:42,569
[helicopter blades thrumming]
[siren wailing]
00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:43,695
We're gonna make it, Kenny!
00:06:43,821 --> 00:06:44,822
We're gonna make it to Mexico!
00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:49,493
Oh, God damn it!
00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:50,494
[siren wailing]
00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:51,495
[tires screeching]
00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:52,496
[metal crunching]
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:54,289
[siren warbling]
00:06:54,415 --> 00:06:55,874
[phone rings]
Hello?
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:57,793
Just a friendly reminder:
Cartman's going to jail,
00:06:57,918 --> 00:07:00,504
and you've got four days
until the race, rump rangers.
00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:02,131
Son of a bitch!
00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:05,134
[funk music]
00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:07,636
♪♪
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,847
Here we are.
The end of the road.
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:13,976
[dog barks and growls]
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,814
[kids shouting indistinctly]
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:26,447
♪♪
00:07:26,572 --> 00:07:28,782
[boys shouting]
00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:29,867
[makes kissing noise]
00:07:31,452 --> 00:07:33,704
[infants babbling]
00:07:40,419 --> 00:07:43,797
Prisoner 24601, arriving.
00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:45,007
Forward, prisoner.
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:47,176
You will wake up each morning
at 0500.
00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:49,595
Lockdown is until 0900.
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:50,971
At 10:00, we begin
random searches
00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:52,639
and checks for contraband.
00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:56,310
At 11:30, we have nap time,
followed by finger painting.
00:07:56,435 --> 00:07:59,188
Your cellmate is Romper Stomper.
00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:01,398
[whispering] Romper Stomper?
- [whispering] Not Romper.
00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:02,983
Who's Romper Stomper?
00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:05,486
I am.
00:08:05,611 --> 00:08:07,988
And I don't want
no new cellmate.
00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,656
You don't have a choice,
Stomper.
00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:11,950
Now, show this new prisoner
the ropes.
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:15,496
Oh, I will.
You bet your ass I will.
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,373
Alright, guys, it looks like
00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:20,042
Cartman's not gonna be able
to sled with us
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:22,044
for about another...13 years,
so in the meantime,
00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:24,296
we need someone to race with us
against the girls on Saturday.
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:26,173
Yeah, Cartman's weight
was what gave us speed,
00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:29,134
so we need to find the next
fattest kid besides Cartman.
00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:31,803
Come on, who's the second
fattest kid in South Park?
00:08:31,929 --> 00:08:33,847
I think Clyde is
the next fattest kid.
00:08:33,972 --> 00:08:34,890
Huh?
- Yeah.
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,225
Okay, get over here, Clyde.
00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:37,726
I'm not fat.
- Deal with it, dude.
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,019
Cartman's gone,
so now you're the fat kid.
00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:41,021
Yeah, fat-ass.
Get your fat butt on the sled.
00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:42,981
Hey, I'm not fat, you guys.
I'm just kind of big-boned.
00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:44,358
Yeah, that's what they
all say.
00:08:44,483 --> 00:08:45,776
Okay, ready?
Go!
00:08:45,901 --> 00:08:48,403
[all cheering]
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:49,696
Aw, gay, dude!
00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:51,698
We don't even have enough weight
to move.
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:53,450
See you Saturday,
poo stabbers.
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:54,701
Nice going, fat boy.
00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:59,831
Well, well, well.
New fish.
00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:01,250
How about you come up
with a reason
00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:02,751
why we don't break your arms?
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,211
All: Yeah!
00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:05,671
Uh, 'cause I'm just like
you guys.
00:09:05,796 --> 00:09:06,672
I'm one of you.
00:09:06,797 --> 00:09:07,714
Oh, yeah?
00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:09,132
The way I see it,
00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:10,342
There's two kinds of kids
in the world:
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:12,135
kids who like Animaniacs
00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:14,680
and kids who don't like
Animaniacs.
00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:16,223
You're either with us,
or you're against us.
00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:17,641
So which are you?
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:21,019
Oh, uh, well, personally, I--
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:23,564
Uh...I...
00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:27,192
Don't like Animaniacs?
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:29,653
Neither do we.
- Oh, thank you, Jesus.
00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:31,196
So we're friends now?
- No.
00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:33,073
There's no friends
in the big house.
00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:35,826
You come in with nobody,
and you leave with nobody.
00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:38,078
We don't believe in "friends."
- All: Yeah!
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:40,330
Yeah, neither do I.
Friends suck.
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:42,124
Now, go find me
some cigarettes,
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,042
and I'll tell you
how to bust out of here.
00:09:46,545 --> 00:09:48,463
Okay, we figured it out.
00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:50,507
To add more weight to the sled,
we're gonna use these bricks.
00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,259
But we're gonna cover them
with kids' clothes
00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:53,760
so that the girls think
it's another kid.
00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:55,095
Oh, that's a wonderful idea.
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,471
So I don't get to be
on the team now?
00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:58,056
All: Shut up, fat-ass.
00:09:58,181 --> 00:09:59,433
Yeah, why don't you go eat
some more pork rinds
00:09:59,558 --> 00:10:00,934
or something, you fat fuck?
00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:04,563
Come on.
Let's give it a try.
00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:05,814
All: Whee!
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,190
[all yelling]
00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:09,818
Whoa!
Look out! Look out!
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:12,154
Dude, bail! Bail!
- Whoa!
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:13,155
Huh?
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,573
[yelling]
00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:15,991
[dull thud]
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,201
[hard thud]
00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:20,662
Oh, my God.
We killed Kenny.
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:21,872
We killed Kenny?
00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:24,041
We killed Kenny.
We're bastards.
00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:25,542
Well, that didn't work.
What else can we try?
00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:26,918
Nothing else is gonna work.
00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:28,754
We have to face the fact
that without Cartman,
00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:30,047
we're gonna lose
to a bunch of girls.
00:10:30,172 --> 00:10:32,591
Well, I sure do hate to see
my gender lose
00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:33,925
to a bunch of women.
00:10:34,051 --> 00:10:35,761
This is a sad day
for men everywhere.
00:10:35,886 --> 00:10:37,304
You know something, guys?
00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:38,889
I think we all took
Cartman's ass for granted.
00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:39,890
All: Yup.
00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:41,350
If only we had realized
00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:43,226
how special our time
with his gigantic ass was.
00:10:43,352 --> 00:10:44,936
And all that time,
we didn't understand
00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:47,648
what a unique
and magical ass it was.
00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:49,524
Whoo-hoo!
Great time, girls!
00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,485
Oh, gee, looks like
you lost another sledder.
00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:54,529
Good luck on Saturday,
donut punchers!
00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:56,239
That does it!
We've got no other choice.
00:10:56,365 --> 00:10:57,866
We've got to bust Cartman
out of jail.
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,201
All: Huh?
- How?
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:00,827
I saw a movie once
where they baked a cake
00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:02,329
and put a nail file
inside of it.
00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:05,415
Sweet! Let's go!
[all cheering]
00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:10,962
And have you been brushing
your teeth?
00:11:11,088 --> 00:11:13,382
Yes, Mommy.
- And not dropping your soap?
00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:14,925
Yes, Mommy.
- Hi, Mom.
00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:16,426
Young man,
that is the fourth time
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:17,886
you've been late
for our visiting time.
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:18,887
You are grounded.
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:19,888
Grounded?
Oh, no!
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,098
Uh, wait--
00:11:21,223 --> 00:11:22,766
Here you go, boys.
Keep it short.
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,434
Hey, guys.
- Hey, fat-ass, how's prison?
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:26,311
Well, it sucks balls.
What do you you think?
00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:28,021
Cartman, why the hell did you
have to commit a hate crime?
00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:29,523
We're gonna lose to girls
because of you.
00:11:29,648 --> 00:11:30,816
Yeah, so you got to bust
out of here.
00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:32,442
So we made you this cake.
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:34,820
[whispering] There's
a ail-nay ile-fay inside of it.
00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:37,489
A what?
- An ail-nay ile-fay.
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,408
What's that?
Listen, aggot-fay!
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,785
An ail-nay ile-fay so you can
eak-bray out of ison-pray!
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:43,578
Yeah, you stupid
umb-ass-day!
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:45,288
I'd love to eat a cake,
you guys, but they don't let us
00:11:45,414 --> 00:11:46,832
take anything back
to the cells from here.
00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:48,083
They on't-day?
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,251
Why the ell-hay ot-nay?
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:50,377
It ook-tay our-fay ours-hay
00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:52,212
to ake-bay
this oddamn-gay ake-cay,
00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:54,423
and ow-nay, e're-way
otally-tay ewed-scray!
00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:56,091
Yeah.
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,300
Look, that's not important
right now.
00:11:57,426 --> 00:11:59,052
[quietly] Did you guys
bring the cigarettes?
00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:00,512
Well, we got some cigarettes,
00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:02,097
but we don't think
you should be smoking.
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,598
Each year,
over a million people die of--
00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:05,100
Just hand over
the goddamn cigarettes!
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,768
Shh!
- Look, if you guys want me back
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,854
to win the sledding race,
then I need those cigarettes.
00:12:08,979 --> 00:12:10,313
How are we supposed
to give them to you?
00:12:10,439 --> 00:12:12,524
Just pass them through
these little drill holes here.
00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:14,401
That's what everybody does.
00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:16,361
But they're gonna search you
on your way back to your cell.
00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:19,364
I know; that's why
I have to hide them up my ass.
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:20,991
[both laugh]
00:12:21,116 --> 00:12:22,242
Shut up, you guys!
It's not funny!
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:23,243
Alright.
Here.
00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:28,415
[whispering]
Okay, there's--
00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:31,460
[mumbling]
00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:33,378
Wow, I really wish I hadn't
sat here and watched that.
00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:35,046
Me too.
00:12:35,172 --> 00:12:37,215
Okay, guys,
if you'll excuse me,
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,009
I must be going now.
00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:40,260
Don't fart on your way out.
00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:41,386
You might make little
smoke signals.
00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:42,888
[both laugh]
00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:44,931
Ha-ha.
Very funny, you guys.
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:47,392
Ha-ha.
00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:49,186
That sucks we couldn't give
him the nail file.
00:12:49,311 --> 00:12:50,479
So now what do we do?
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:51,730
There's only one thing
we can do.
00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:53,356
We have to go see Token
00:12:53,482 --> 00:12:55,317
and see if he'll forgive Cartman
for hate-criming him.
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,235
Come on.
We're running out of time.
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:58,945
Well, did you get
the cigarettes?
00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:01,948
Yes, they are safely concealed
in the depths of my ass.
00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:04,242
Alright, go sit
on the toilet and poop them out.
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:06,828
I'll keep an eye out
for the guards.
00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:12,918
[grunting]
00:13:13,043 --> 00:13:14,252
Come on, you stupid cigarettes!
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:17,088
[grunting]
00:13:22,594 --> 00:13:24,846
Plop!
There's one...
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:27,849
[grunting]
00:13:33,522 --> 00:13:36,316
Plop!
Two...
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:39,069
[grunting]
00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:43,114
Come on!
Come on, now!
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,242
Come on!
00:13:45,367 --> 00:13:47,327
Plop!
00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:49,746
[sighs]
Whew!
00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:53,333
[toilet flushing]
Ahh.
00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:55,502
Oh, god damn it!
00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:56,920
You flushed them?
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:58,421
Well, you spend eight years
taking a crap
00:13:58,547 --> 00:14:00,757
and then flushing the toilet,
it sort of becomes a reflex.
00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:02,592
Please, just help me
bust out of here.
00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:05,637
No way, douche.
I told you, I ain't your friend.
00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:07,556
If you want me to help you,
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:09,558
you're gonna have to sneak
something else in for me.
00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:10,725
Son of a bitch!
00:14:15,564 --> 00:14:17,399
Dude, I didn't know
Token lived so far away.
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,401
Yeah, you know, they bus in
people from different races
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,152
to our school to promote
cultural diversity.
00:14:21,278 --> 00:14:22,445
Yeah, but isn't Token
the only one?
00:14:22,571 --> 00:14:23,822
Yeah.
00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:25,490
[doorbell rings]
Hello.
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:26,867
Hi.
Can Token come out and play?
00:14:26,992 --> 00:14:28,285
Well, his head's still
a little sore.
00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:29,953
But you can come in if you like.
- Killer.
00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:31,121
Token, you don't want to see
00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:32,414
us guys lose to girls tomorrow,
do you?
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:33,957
No.
00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:35,750
Well, then you've got to call
the jail right now
00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:38,503
and tell them that you forgive
Cartman for being a dumb-ass.
00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:39,963
I'm afraid it's not
that simple, boys.
00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:40,964
It's not?
- No.
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,257
You see, the only person
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:43,425
that can let Eric
out of juvenile hall
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:44,885
is the governor.
00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:46,803
Damn it!
Son of a bitch, damn it!
00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:49,639
Oh. Sorry.
- No, I actually agree with you.
00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:51,182
Huh?
- Yeah.
00:14:51,308 --> 00:14:53,059
I have a real problem
with hate crime legislation.
00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:54,895
In fact, I'd love to see
you kids go down
00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:56,813
and give the governor
a piece of my mind.
00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:58,773
Well, why don't you tell
the governor yourself?
00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:00,317
Oh, he wouldn't listen to me.
- Why not?
00:15:00,442 --> 00:15:01,902
Because I'm black.
- Both: Oh.
00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:03,111
Sit down, boys.
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,362
I'm gonna give you
a little lesson
00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:05,864
about hate crime laws.
00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:07,490
[funk music]
00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:10,243
[grunting]
00:15:22,172 --> 00:15:23,423
splash!
00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:27,844
Oh, thank God!
Oh, thank you, Jesus!
00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:31,139
Here you go, god damn it!
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,808
Cool!
My very own tic tac throw game!
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:35,810
Oh, it smells, man!
00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:37,479
Well, what the hell
do you expect, huh?
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:38,647
Now I got your stupid game.
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:39,981
Tell me how to break
out of here.
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:41,441
You're not gonna
break out of here.
00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:43,193
You're here till you're 21,
douche.
00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:44,653
But you said--
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,571
I just wanted you
to sneak stuff in for me.
00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:49,240
What, you actually think
I give a crap about you?
00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:50,241
I thought that--
00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:51,576
Man, you better wise up
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:53,578
to the way things work
in the big house.
00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:56,665
Hey, guys!
I gots me a new tic tac throw!
00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:01,378
[sobbing]
00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:04,214
Yeah, it's a little ripe,
but it's brand-new, man.
00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:06,216
We can play it at recess.
00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:09,886
[sobbing]
Hey, what are you doing?
00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:16,309
You--you can't cry
in prison, man.
00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:18,812
They'll bust your head open.
What's the matter with you?
00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:23,525
[sniffling]
I want my mom!
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,068
Dude.
00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:28,238
Mommy!
I want my mommy!
00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:31,616
Look, if it's
that important to you,
00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:32,951
I'll bust you out of here.
00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:34,202
[sniffles]
You will?
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,246
Yeah.
Yeah, I will.
00:16:36,371 --> 00:16:38,289
But not because
you're my friend.
00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:41,292
Only because--
because I want to bust out too
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:43,044
and see Disneyland.
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:46,339
Governor,
00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:47,507
the "Free Eric Cartman Now"
Committee
00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:48,883
is here to see you.
00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:50,218
Oh, not another committee.
Send them in.
00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:56,016
This is the "Free Eric Cartman
Now" Committee?
00:16:56,141 --> 00:16:57,267
Yeah.
00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:58,643
Well, boys,
what can I do for you?
00:16:58,768 --> 00:16:59,686
Okay, go ahead and start.
00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:00,562
I don't start.
You start.
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:01,521
Oh, yeah.
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,025
[clears throat]
Hello, Mr. Governor,
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:06,526
and thank you for taking
the time
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:10,238
to hear our presentation
on hate crime laws entitled
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,240
"Hate Crime Laws:
A Savage Hypocrisy."
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:14,868
[patriotic music]
00:17:14,993 --> 00:17:16,161
Yes, over the past few years,
00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:17,412
our great country
has been developing
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:18,913
new hate crime laws.
00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:20,623
If somebody kills somebody,
it's a crime.
00:17:20,749 --> 00:17:22,417
But if someone kills somebody
of a different color,
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:23,918
it's a hate crime.
00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:26,504
And we think that that is
a savage hypocrisy,
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,089
because all crimes
are hate crimes.
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:29,507
If a man beats another man
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:31,051
because that man was sleeping
with his wife,
00:17:31,176 --> 00:17:32,427
is that not a hate crime?
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,471
If a person vandalizes
a government building,
00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:36,973
is it not because of his hate
for the government?
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:39,726
The motivation for a crime
shouldn't affect the sentencing.
00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:42,479
Mayor, it is time to stop
splitting people into groups.
00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:44,481
All hate crime laws do
is support the ideas
00:17:44,606 --> 00:17:45,899
that blacks are different
from whites,
00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:47,067
that homosexuals need to be
00:17:47,192 --> 00:17:48,943
treated differently
from non-homos,
00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:50,445
that we aren't the same.
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,197
But instead, we should all
be treated the same
00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:53,531
with the same laws
00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:55,533
and the same punishments
for the same crimes,
00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,660
for in that way,
Cartman can be freed from prison
00:17:57,786 --> 00:18:01,122
and we will have a chance to win
the sledding race on Thursday.
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,541
That is our presentation,
an idea that we call...
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:05,960
"Hate Crime Laws:
a Savage Hypocrisy."
00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:07,712
Hmm.
00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:10,006
That made the most sense
of any presentation I've heard
00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:11,800
in the last three years.
00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:14,511
[alarm ringing]
00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:18,473
[dogs barking]
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:19,724
Hurry up!
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:22,435
They're sending the dogs
after us!
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,687
Ow!
- What's the matter?
00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:25,897
It's my leg.
I think it's broke.
00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:27,732
[dogs growling]
00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:28,983
You go on ahead without me.
00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:29,984
Okay.
- Hey!
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,486
You're supposed to say,
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:32,946
"I'm not going without you,"
or something.
00:18:33,071 --> 00:18:34,197
Oh.
Really?
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:35,657
Look, kid.
You go on.
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,242
You've got something
to live for out there.
00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:38,701
You've got friends.
- Yeah.
00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:41,162
I never really realized that
until just now.
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:43,665
I sure would have liked
to have seen Disneyland.
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:44,916
Here, I want you to have these.
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:46,543
Okay.
- No!
00:18:46,668 --> 00:18:48,002
You're supposed to say,
00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:49,921
"I can't take these,"
or something, dumb-ass!
00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:51,589
Oh.
I can't take these.
00:18:51,714 --> 00:18:53,258
Take them.
They'll bring you luck.
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:56,302
Now, go on.
Get out of here.
00:18:56,427 --> 00:18:57,637
Romper?
- Yeah?
00:18:57,762 --> 00:19:00,056
You--well,
I know you don't think
00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:01,432
you've ever been
anybody's friend,
00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:04,811
but, well,
you're a friend to me.
00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:06,938
Alright, freeze!
00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:09,858
You'll never take us alive!
We're going down together, pigs!
00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:12,193
But you've been pardoned
by the governor.
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,445
Oh, sweet!
Later, dudes.
00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:20,034
Well, come on!
Are we racing or not?
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,619
Just wait.
We got Cartman pardoned.
00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:23,163
He'll be here any second.
00:19:23,288 --> 00:19:24,706
He's got to show up.
He's just got to!
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:27,000
Come on, my feet are
getting cold, fudge packers!
00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:29,502
Yeah, if you're too scared
to race, just say so.
00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:31,337
Dude, I guess we just
got to try it without him.
00:19:31,462 --> 00:19:32,839
Alright, where's Clyde?
- Right here.
00:19:32,964 --> 00:19:34,507
Get on the sled,
you fat piece of shit!
00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:35,967
For the last time,
I'm not fat,
00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:38,803
so stop calling me fat,
god damn it!
00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:40,305
On the sled, fat-ass.
00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:42,640
Okay, girls, time to show
the boys what we can do.
00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:43,725
Girls: Yeah!
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,727
Okay.
Ready, set--
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,854
You guys!
00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:49,147
It's Cartman!
- Boys: Hooray!
00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:51,316
That's right, I'm back.
00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:54,277
Oh, thank you.
Thank you for coming back.
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:56,487
[weeping] Thank you so much.
Thank you.
00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:57,906
What the hell is wrong
with Clyde?
00:19:58,031 --> 00:19:59,991
This is your last chance.
Are we racing or not?
00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:01,409
Alright!
Let's do this!
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,995
Okay, everybody ready?
On your marks...
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,788
I hope I can adapt to life
outside of the big house.
00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:07,540
Get set, go!
00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:08,750
I've been on the inside
for so long.
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,376
I don't remember how to live
on the outside.
00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:11,544
Go, fat-ass!
00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:13,046
When a man is stripped
of his freedom,
00:20:13,171 --> 00:20:14,464
degraded in the ways
that I was, it's--
00:20:14,589 --> 00:20:16,049
Boys: Go, fat-ass!
00:20:16,174 --> 00:20:18,259
Come on!
We got to catch up to them!
00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:22,055
We got them, girls!
00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:24,599
Oh, no!
The girls are gonna win!
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,184
You can do it!
- Come on!
00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:28,144
We're not gonna make it!
00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:29,395
Aha!
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:35,318
[all screaming]
00:20:35,443 --> 00:20:37,278
[all yelling]
00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:40,615
[bear growls]
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,242
Boys: Hooray!
00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:43,284
We did it!
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:46,037
[girls groan]
00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:47,538
We won! We won!
- Yeah!
00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:48,998
Why, we sure gave
those skanky bitches what for!
00:20:49,123 --> 00:20:50,541
All: Yeah!
00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:52,126
It's good to have you back,
Cartman.
00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:54,295
Yeah, we're never gonna take
your ass for granted ever again.
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:55,630
Yeah, and I'm never gonna
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,382
take my friends for granted
ever again.
00:20:57,507 --> 00:21:00,051
Let's all hear it
for Cartman's big fat ass!
00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:02,053
Ooh!
00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:04,389
Do British people count
as an ethnicity for hate crimes?
00:21:04,514 --> 00:21:05,390
All: Nah.
- Sweet.
00:21:09,978 --> 00:21:11,479
Hey, Romper Stomper!
Get up!
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,356
You got a visitor.
00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:15,233
Eric!
- Hey Romper Stomper!
00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:18,111
Wow!
I've never had a visitor before.
00:21:18,236 --> 00:21:19,279
Well, that's not all.
00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:20,571
I snuck something in
for you too.
00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:22,657
You did?
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:23,825
You know how you told me
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,326
you always wanted to see
Disneyland?
00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:28,371
Yeah.
00:21:28,496 --> 00:21:31,374
[grunting]
00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:34,252
[water splashes]
00:21:34,377 --> 00:21:35,837
There's Pirates
of the Caribbean.
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:37,839
Whoa!
- [grunting]
00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:38,840
Here comes Space Mountain!
00:21:38,965 --> 00:21:39,841
[grunting]
00:21:39,966 --> 00:21:40,842
[water splashes]
00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:42,552
Oh, yeah!
00:21:42,677 --> 00:21:45,430
[grunting]
it's a Small World!
00:21:45,555 --> 00:21:46,681
[water splashes]
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:49,434
Splash Mountain comes next!
00:21:49,559 --> 00:21:53,563
[grunting]
00:21:53,688 --> 00:21:54,564
[water splashes]
00:21:54,689 --> 00:21:55,815
Oh, the Monorail!
rus__Nfire.srt
rus__Nfire.srt
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,999
Ок. Эй, мужики, вы там готовы?
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,999
Готовы.
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:46,999
На старт! Внимание... Марш!
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:47,999
Мы снова победили.
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:50,999
Это не честно.
Задница Картмана такая жирная, что
из-за этого ваши санки едут быстрее.
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,999
Эй. Не называй меня жирным, Токен
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,999
Мы тоже хотим покататься
на санках, педрилки.
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:56,999
Санки - для парней. Да. Почему бы
вам, телки, не пойти помыть посуду,
00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:58,999
или забеременеть, или еще
чего полезного сделать?
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,999
Это школьные санки, петушки. Не ваши.
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,999
Да ты что. Девчонки даже не знают,
как кататься на санках.
Занимайтесь чем-нибудь другим. Да.
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:07,999
Держу пари, что мы катаемся в десять раз
лучше чем вы, пуловеры с дыркой.
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,999
О, да? Да. Мы надерем ваши
девичьи задницы в катании на санках.
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,999
А как насчет гонки на НАСТОЯЩЕМ холме.
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:13,999
Да. Давай! Да.
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,999
Ваши четыре лучших гонщика
против наших четырех лучших гонщиц.
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,999
Без проблем. Тогда увидимся
в эту субботу на холме Фила Коллинса.
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,999
На холме Фила Коллинса
в субботу. Договорились.
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:25,999
Встретимся там и, возможно,
увидим лучшую победу,
одержанную женщинами, трубочисты.
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:26,999
О, парни. Мы им покажем.
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:29,999
Да. Наши мужики покажут
этим уебищам ху из ху.
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:32,999
Да. Эти девчонки не понимают насколько
хорошие гонщики Стэн, Кайл, и Кенни.
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,999
Да, и с необычайно жирной задницей Картмана,
ребята могут быть уверены в победе.
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:38,999
Токен, клянусь Богом. Если ты еще
хоть раз назовешь меня жирным,
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:39,999
я проломлю тебе череп этим камнем.
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:44,999
- Толстожопый.
- Лови.
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:49,999
...И вам необходимо понять, что
это несоответствующее поведение,
молодой человек. П'нятно?
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,999
Эрик. Неужели ты не понимаешь, что мог
серьезно ранить своего маленького друга?
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:53,999
Извини меня, мама.
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,999
Не извиняйся перед нами.
Извинись перед ним.
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:57,999
Извини, Токен.
00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,999
Ну, я надеюсь, что ты запомнил,
что бросать камни в людей плохо, Эрик.
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:04,999
Определенно, М-р. Мэкки.
Я имею в виду, что я чувствую себя
действительно плохо. О чем я думал?
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:09,999
Единственное, что я могу
сейчас сделать, это пытаться
держаться и жить день за днем.
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:10,999
- Увидимся.
- Не в этот раз, Эрик.
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,499
Ты должен научиться уважать
своего маленького друга.
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:15,999
И следующие две недели ты
будешь оставаться после уроков.
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:16,999
Ни за что.
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,999
Да за что. П'нятно?
И на этом вопрос исчерпан.
А теперь давайте все пойдем...
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,999
- Психолог Мэкки?
- Да.
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:25,999
Я - агент Шарп, а это
- агент Кин. Мы из ФБР.
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,999
Мы прибыли для расследования
камнебросательного инцидента.
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,499
П-п-пнятно. Я, я уже
позаботился об этом.
00:02:31,500 --> 00:02:33,999
Эрик Картман наказан двумя
неделями оставления после уроков.
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:37,999
Я боюсь, что все немного сложнее,
Мистер школьный психолог.
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,999
Видите ли, так как жертва в данном
случае является афро-американцем,
то это подпадает под...
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,999
ПРЕСТУПЛЕНИЕ НА ПОЧВЕ НЕНАВИСТИ.
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:45,999
Что еще за преступление
на почве ненависти?
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:46,999
Мм, о, но я не думаю, что это...
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,499
Новые законы предполагают, что
любое преступление, основанное на
00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:51,999
расизме, этнической принадлежности,
или сексуальной ориентации, является
государственным преступлением.
00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:54,999
- Что? Государственным преступлением?
- О, нет.
- О, нет?
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,999
Мы сожалеем, мисс Картман,
но мы должны следовать протоколу.
00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:03,999
Ваш сын будет арестован и
предстанет в федеральном суде.
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:04,999
О, мой бог.
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:06,499
Суд столетия над преступлением на почве
ненависти идет полным ходом,
00:03:06,500 --> 00:03:07,999
и СудТВ приглашает вас
прямо туда. В прямом эфире.
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,999
А вот и наша ведущая, Лесли Смит.
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,499
Что подтолкнуло маленького
восьмилетнего мальчика
00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:15,999
нормальной жирности на ужасное
преступление на почве ненависти,
совершенное под лозунгами расизма?
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,999
А сейчас прямой эфир из зала суда,
где идет опрос обвиняемого.
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:21,999
Г-н. Картман, знаете ли вы
мальчика по имени Токен?
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,999
- Мм, да.
- Кто такой Токен?
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,999
Это черный парень, который
учится со мной в школе.
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,999
ЧЕРНЫЙ. ВЫ СКАЗАЛИ ЧЕРНЫЙ?
ВЫ НАЗВАЛИ ЕГО ЧЕРНЫМ?!
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,999
- Он и ЕСТЬ черный.
- ОН СКАЗАЛ ЭТО СНОВА. Ха.
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,999
ОН - АФРО-АМЕРИКАНЕЦ, И
ПОЭТОМУ ВЫ РЕШИЛИ РАЗУКРАСИТЬ ЕГО.
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,999
- Разве?
- ГНЕВ РОС И РОС ВНУТРИ ТВОЕЙ ГОЛОВЫ
ПОКА ЕГО НЕ СТАЛО СЛИШКОМ МНОГО,
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,999
ПОТОМУ ЧТО ВЫ НЕНАВИДИТЕ
АФРО-АМЕРИКАНЦЕВ.
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,999
- НЕТ. Я НЕНАВИЖУ ХИППИ.
- Что?
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:46,999
Я НЕНАВИЖУ ХИППИ, КОГДА ОНИ
ПОСТОЯННО ГОВОРЯТ О НАШЕЙ ЗАЩИТЕ
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:47,999
И КОГДА ОНИ РАЗЕЗЖАЮТ
НА ЭТИХ АВТОМОБИЛЯХ
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:48,999
С ДЕШОВЫМ БЕНЗИНОМ
И НОСЯТ ЭТИ ТУПЫЕ РЕМЕШКИ.
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,999
- Я НЕНАВИЖУ ИХ. Я ХОЧУ
ПНУТЬ ИХ ПО ЯЙЦАМ.
- О. Святые угодники.
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,999
Леди и джентльмены жюри,
вот почему у нас есть законы
о преступлении на почве ненависти.
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,999
Этот "монстр" совершил преступление,
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,999
не против конкретного
человека, но против расы.
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,999
Примите решение, руководствуясь
принципами демократии и засадите его
маленькую жирную задницу в тюрьму.
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,999
ЭЙ, НЕ НАЗЫВАЙ МЕНЯ ЖИРНЫМ, ЖОПА!
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:06,999
Объявляется перерыв.
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,999
Не забывайте. У нас все еще назначена
гонка на санках в эту субботу, незабудки.
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:14,999
Мы помним. Чувак, это ужасно.
Мы должны вытащить Картмана
с суда, чтобы потренироваться.
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,999
Эрик Картман, вы были найдены
виновным в совершении
преступления на почве ненависти.
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:22,999
Тем самым я приговариваю вас к заключению
в колонию для несовершеннолетних Аламоса,
пока вы не достигните двадцати одного года.
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:27,999
- НЕТ.
- Ты будешь примером, моим
посланием для всех людей:
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:32,499
если вы хотите покалечить
другого человека, вам лучше
00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:34,599
быть чертовски уверенным в том,
что он такого же цвета, как и вы!
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,099
Суд окончен.
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,999
Судебные приставы, проводите
это маленького ублюдка
в колонию для несовершеннолетних.
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,399
Да, сэр.
00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:48,399
Ну-с. Мм, куда он делся?
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,999
Кенни. Кенни, ты должен
вытащить меня из города.
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,499
- *К-а-к-о-г-о х-у-я?*
- Они собираются засадить меня в тюрьму
00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:55,999
за преступление на почве ненависти.
Ты должен доставить меня в Мексику.
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,999
*М-е-к-с-и-к-у? Н-е-х-у-й м-н-е
д-е-л-а-т-ь к-р-о-м-е к-а-к в-е-з-т-и
т-е-б-я в М-е-к-с-и-к-у.*
00:04:59,000 --> 00:04:59,999
УСПОКОЙСЯ, КЕННИ.
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,999
У тебя все еще есть карт на батарейках,
который ты получил на Рождество?
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,299
- *Д-а*.
- Отлично, пошли. Я меня мало времени.
00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:18,999
Автомобильное погоня продолжается на
285 трассе к востоку от Южного Парка.
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:22,999
Подозреваемый в преступлении на почве
ненависти Эрик Картман пытается
сбежать от государственных обвинителей
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,999
на карте Go-Go Action Bronco своего друга.
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,999
Наш "глаз в небе", Грэг Ниминс,
в прямом эфире. Грэг?
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,999
Том, похоже Go-Go Action Bronco
направляется на восток по 285.
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,999
Полицейские прямо позади него,
и, как в любом преследовании,
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:38,399
они держат безопасную дистанцию,
во избежание любых несчастных
случаев на трассе.
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:41,799
Том, кажется, беглец собирается
сделать дерзкий поворот к выходу с 285.
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:42,799
Он входит в жилые кварталы.
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:44,399
Сейчас они представляют
опасность для пешеходов.
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:45,999
Черт возьми, Кенни.
Эта штука не может
двигаться немного быстрее?
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:47,899
*Я е-д-у б-ы-с-т-р-о, к-а-к
т-о-л-ь-к-о в-о-з-м-о-ж-н-о.*
00:05:47,900 --> 00:05:49,999
Том, полицейские загородили дорогу
прямо на пути Go-Go Action Bronco.
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,999
Это может стать финалом этой погони.
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:55,099
Хорошо. Еще достаточно далеко.
00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:57,999
Остановите Go-Go Action Bronco и
выходите с поднятыми руками.
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:02,399
Просто остановитесь и выходите.
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,599
ГОСПОДИ, ОН СОБИРАЕТСЯ ИДТИ НА ТАРАН!
00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:23,899
Сумасшедший сукин сын.
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:28,799
Это случилось 13 часов назад,
а погоня все еще продолжается.
00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:30,099
Что, черт возьми, они делают?
00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:33,899
На данный момент погоня прошла
почти через всю Аризону и
приближается к мексиканской границе.
00:06:33,900 --> 00:06:37,399
Чувак, если Кенни перевезет Картмана
в Мексику, то как мы собираемся
выиграть гонку в субботу?
00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:39,999
Расслабься, чувак. Этот грузовичок
двигается всего лишь на D батарейках.
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,099
Они скоро сядут.
00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:45,499
Мы сделаем это, Кенни.
Мы сделаем эту Мексику.
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,299
А, ЧЕРТ ВОЗЬМИ!
00:06:54,900 --> 00:06:55,999
Алло.
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:59,999
Всего лишь дружеское напоминание:
Картман в тюрьме, и у вас осталось
четыре дня до гонки, чебурашки.
00:07:01,300 --> 00:07:02,399
Твою мать.
00:07:08,700 --> 00:07:10,799
Наконец-то приехали. Дорога закончилась.
00:07:11,900 --> 00:07:14,099
Подростковая колония
строгого режима Аламоса.
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:25,904
Медведь Груфи говорит:
"При попытке к бегству -
стреляю без предупреждения"
00:07:40,450 --> 00:07:43,449
Прибыл заключенный 24601.
00:07:43,450 --> 00:07:45,449
Вперед, заключенный.
00:07:45,450 --> 00:07:49,449
Подъем в 5.00.
В камере находиться до 9.00.
00:07:49,450 --> 00:07:52,449
В десять мы начинаем случайные проверки
на наличие контрабанды.
00:07:52,450 --> 00:07:56,449
В 11:30 тихий час,
затем рисование пальцами.
00:07:56,450 --> 00:07:58,549
Твой сокамерник -
Ромпер Стомпер (детские топатушки).
00:08:01,450 --> 00:08:03,449
А кто это, кто такой Ромпер Стомпер?
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:05,449
Я.
00:08:05,450 --> 00:08:07,449
И я не хочу нового сокамерника.
00:08:07,450 --> 00:08:11,449
У тебя нет выбора, Стомпер.
И покажи этому новому заключенному,
какие тут порядки.
00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:15,649
О, я покажу. Держу пари
на твою жопу, покажу.
00:08:17,450 --> 00:08:21,449
Итак, парни. Похоже на то,
что Картман не сможет кататься с нами
приблизительно еще тринадцать лет.
00:08:21,450 --> 00:08:23,449
Но, в то же время, нам нужен кто-то
к гонке против девчонок в субботу.
00:08:23,450 --> 00:08:25,949
Да. Вес Картмана был тем,
что давало нам скорость.
00:08:25,950 --> 00:08:28,449
Следовательно, мы должны найти следующего
по жирности ребенка после Картмана.
00:08:28,450 --> 00:08:31,449
Ну же. Кто второй самый
жирный ребенок в Южном Парке?
00:08:31,450 --> 00:08:34,449
Мм, я думаю, что Клайд -
следующий самый жирный ребенок.
00:08:34,450 --> 00:08:35,449
Да. Хорошо, иди сюда Клайд.
00:08:35,450 --> 00:08:36,449
Я не жирный.
00:08:36,450 --> 00:08:38,449
Смирись с этим, чувак. Картмана
нет, и теперь ты - жирный ребенок.
00:08:38,450 --> 00:08:40,449
Да, толстожопый. Клади свою
жирную задницу на санки.
00:08:40,450 --> 00:08:42,449
Эй, ребята, я не жирный.
У меня просто кость широкая.
00:08:42,450 --> 00:08:46,349
Ага. Это то, что он постоянно говорит.
Прекрасно. Готовы? Поехали!
00:08:48,450 --> 00:08:51,449
А, чувак. У нас не хватает веса
даже на то, чтобы двигаться.
00:08:51,450 --> 00:08:53,449
Увидимся в субботу, говномесы.
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:55,049
Хорошо, идем, жирдяй.
00:08:57,450 --> 00:08:59,449
Так, так, так. Новая рыбка.
00:08:59,450 --> 00:09:03,449
Как насчет того, чтобы придумать причину
почему мы не сломаем тебе руки? Да.
00:09:03,450 --> 00:09:06,449
Мм, по причине того, что я - точно
такой же как и вы. Мм, я - один из вас.
00:09:06,450 --> 00:09:10,449
О, да? Я считаю, что существует
два типа детей в мире:
00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:14,449
дети, которые любят Аниманьяков и
дети, которые не любят Аниманьяков.
00:09:14,450 --> 00:09:18,449
Ты с нами, или против нас?
Так кто ты?
00:09:18,450 --> 00:09:23,449
О, мм. Ну, лично я, мм. Я...
00:09:23,450 --> 00:09:27,449
не люблю Аниманьяков?
00:09:27,450 --> 00:09:28,449
Мы тоже.
00:09:28,450 --> 00:09:30,449
О, слава тебе, господи.
Ну, теперь мы друзья?
00:09:30,450 --> 00:09:33,449
Нет. В большом доме нет друзей.
00:09:33,450 --> 00:09:35,449
Ты пришел ни с кем
и уйдешь ни с кем.
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:37,449
Мы не верим в друзей.
00:09:37,450 --> 00:09:38,449
Да.
00:09:38,450 --> 00:09:40,449
Да. Я тоже. Друзья - отстой!
00:09:40,450 --> 00:09:45,049
А теперь найди мне пару сигарет, и
я расскажу тебе, как свалить отсюда.
00:09:47,450 --> 00:09:51,449
Итак, вот, что мы придумали.
Добавить больше веса санкам,
используя эти кирпичи.
00:09:51,450 --> 00:09:53,449
А сверху мы прикроем их детской
одеждой так, чтобы девчонки думали,
что это - другой ребенок.
00:09:53,450 --> 00:09:55,449
О. Это замечательная идея.
00:09:55,450 --> 00:09:56,449
Получается, что я уже не в команде?
00:09:56,450 --> 00:09:57,449
ЗАТКНИСЬ, ТОЛСТОЖОПЫЙ!
00:09:57,450 --> 00:10:00,449
Да. Почему бы тебе не пойти пожрать сала
или еще чего-нибудь, ебаный жирдяй?
00:10:00,450 --> 00:10:03,449
Пошли. Давайте попробуем еще раз.
00:10:09,450 --> 00:10:12,649
А-а-а, чувак, прыгай. Прыгай!
00:10:19,450 --> 00:10:20,449
О, боже мой. Мы убили Кенни.
00:10:20,450 --> 00:10:21,449
Мы убили Кенни?
00:10:21,450 --> 00:10:23,449
Мы убили Кенни. Мы - сволочи.
00:10:23,450 --> 00:10:25,449
Что ж, это не сработало.
Что еще мы можем попробовать?
00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:26,449
Ничто другое не сработает.
00:10:26,450 --> 00:10:29,449
Мы поставлены перед фактом, что без
Картмана мы проиграем девчонкам.
00:10:29,450 --> 00:10:33,449
У-ау. Мне бы очень не хотелось увидеть,
как мой пол, э-э, проигрывает женщинам.
00:10:33,450 --> 00:10:35,449
Это - печальный день для всех мужчин.
00:10:35,450 --> 00:10:39,449
Знаете, что, парни? Я думаю, все мы
считали задницу Картмана
как само собой разумеющимся.
00:10:39,450 --> 00:10:43,449
Да. Если бы мы только поняли, в какое особое
время мы жили рядом с его гигантской задницей.
00:10:43,450 --> 00:10:47,449
Все это время мы не понимали,
какая это была уникальная
и волшебная задница.
00:10:47,450 --> 00:10:51,449
Хорошее время, девочки. О, какая досада!
Похоже, что вы потеряли еще одного гонщика.
00:10:51,450 --> 00:10:54,449
Удачи в субботу, пчеловоды.
00:10:54,450 --> 00:10:58,449
Ну все, хватит! У нас нет другого выхода,
кроме как вытащить Картмана из тюрьмы.
00:10:58,450 --> 00:10:59,449
Как?
00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:02,449
Я однажды видел в кино, как
внутрь пирога спрятали напильник.
00:11:02,450 --> 00:11:04,049
Отлично. Пошли.
00:11:09,450 --> 00:11:10,449
А зубы ты чистил?
00:11:10,450 --> 00:11:11,449
Да, мама.
00:11:11,450 --> 00:11:13,449
А мыло не ронял?
00:11:13,450 --> 00:11:14,449
Нет, мама.
00:11:14,450 --> 00:11:15,449
Привет, мам.
00:11:15,450 --> 00:11:18,449
Молодой человек, ты уже четвертый раз
опаздываешь на свидание. Ты будешь наказан.
00:11:18,450 --> 00:11:20,449
Наказан? О, нет.
00:11:20,450 --> 00:11:22,449
Проходите сюда, пацаны, и покороче.
00:11:22,450 --> 00:11:23,449
Привет, парни.
00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:24,449
Привет, толстожопый. Как тюрьма?
00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:26,449
Полный отстой.
А вы что думали?
00:11:26,450 --> 00:11:27,449
Картман, какого черта ты вообще
совершил преступление на почве ненависти?
00:11:27,450 --> 00:11:29,449
Мы проиграем девчонкам из-за тебя.
00:11:29,450 --> 00:11:30,449
Следовательно, ты должен выбраться отсюда.
00:11:30,450 --> 00:11:31,449
И поэтому мы сделали тебе этот пирог.
00:11:31,450 --> 00:11:34,449
Там внутри никнапил.
00:11:34,450 --> 00:11:35,449
Что?
00:11:35,450 --> 00:11:37,449
Ник-напил.
00:11:37,450 --> 00:11:38,449
Это что еще?
00:11:38,450 --> 00:11:41,449
Слушай сюда, иламуд. Никнапил.
Следовательно, ты сможешь атьсбеж из мытюрь.
00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:43,449
Да, тупой рокприду.
00:11:43,450 --> 00:11:46,449
Вообще-то ,пацаны, я хотел бы съесть
пирог, но здесь не разрешают проносить
что-либо в камеру.
00:11:46,450 --> 00:11:48,449
Они шаютнеразре? Какого тачер зянель?
00:11:48,450 --> 00:11:51,449
Мы речеты сача липек
отэт товчер рогпи
00:11:51,450 --> 00:11:54,449
и еще камикрош палипосы.
00:11:54,450 --> 00:11:55,449
Да.
00:11:55,450 --> 00:11:57,449
Слушайте. Сейчас это не так уж важно.
00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:59,449
Вы принесли сигареты?
00:11:59,450 --> 00:12:01,449
Ну, мы принесли пару сигарет, но
мы не думаем, что ты должен курить.
00:12:01,450 --> 00:12:02,449
Каждый год, миллионы людей умирают от...
00:12:02,450 --> 00:12:05,449
ПРОСТО ПЕРЕДАЙТЕ ЭТИ ЧЕРТОВЫ СИГАРЕТЫ.
00:12:05,450 --> 00:12:08,449
Ш-ш. Слушайте. Если вы хотите
вернуть меня обратно и выиграть
гонку, то мне нужны эти сигареты.
00:12:08,450 --> 00:12:10,449
А как мы их передадим тебе?
00:12:10,450 --> 00:12:13,449
Просто просуньте их в эти
маленькие дырочки.
00:12:13,450 --> 00:12:15,449
Но они же обыщут тебя, когда
ты будешь возвращаться в камеру.
00:12:15,450 --> 00:12:20,449
Я знаю. Именно поэтому я спрячу
их в своей заднице.
00:12:20,450 --> 00:12:22,449
ЗАТКНИТЕСЬ, ПАЦАНЫ! ЭТО НЕ СМЕШНО.
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:24,450
Ну, ладно, держи.
00:12:32,450 --> 00:12:34,449
Ничего себе. Не хотелось бы мне
здесь находится и смотреть на это.
00:12:34,450 --> 00:12:36,449
Мне тоже. Ну, все в порядке, парни.
00:12:36,450 --> 00:12:38,449
Вы извините меня,
но мне нужно идти.
00:12:38,450 --> 00:12:43,449
Не пердани, пока будешь выходить.
А то подашь небольшой дымовой сигнал.
00:12:43,450 --> 00:12:45,349
Ха, ха. Очень смешно. Ха, ха.
00:12:47,450 --> 00:12:49,449
Бля, мы не смогли
передать ему напильник.
00:12:49,450 --> 00:12:50,449
И что же нам теперь делать?
00:12:50,450 --> 00:12:52,449
Есть только одно, что мы сможем сделать.
Мы должны пойти к Токену и
00:12:52,450 --> 00:12:54,449
попытаться убедить его простить Картмана
за совершенное преступление ненависти.
00:12:54,450 --> 00:12:56,149
Пошли, время уходит.
00:12:57,450 --> 00:12:58,449
Ну, ты достал сигареты?
00:12:58,450 --> 00:13:01,449
Да. Они безопасно спрятаны
глубоко в моей заднице.
00:13:01,450 --> 00:13:05,549
Отлично. Садись на туалет и доставай их.
Я прослежу за охраной.
00:13:13,450 --> 00:13:15,549
А-а. Вылезайте, дебильные сигареты.
00:13:23,050 --> 00:13:25,049
Первая.
00:13:40,150 --> 00:13:45,349
Вторая. О-ох. А-а-а. Ну, давай. А-а.
Давай же. Давай же. А-а-а-а.
00:13:53,450 --> 00:13:55,449
О-о. Уф. А, ЧЕРТ ПОБЕРИ...
00:13:55,450 --> 00:13:56,449
Ты смыл их?
00:13:56,450 --> 00:13:58,449
Ну, если ты восемь лет после
того, как сходишь в туалет,
00:13:58,450 --> 00:14:00,449
смываешь воду в унитаз, это
становиться практически рефлексом.
00:14:00,450 --> 00:14:02,449
Пожалуйста, просто помоги
мне выбраться отсюда.
00:14:02,450 --> 00:14:05,449
Ни за что, мудила.
Я же уже говорил тебе.
И я - не твой друг!
00:14:05,450 --> 00:14:09,449
Если ты хочешь, чтобы я помог тебе,
ты должен что-нибудь украсть для меня.
00:14:09,450 --> 00:14:10,449
Сукин сын.
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,799
Чувак, я и не знал,
что Токен живет так далеко.
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:20,799
Да. Ты знаешь, они перемещают
людей других рас в нашу школу для
продвижения культурного разнообразия.
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:22,799
Да, но разве Токен не единственный?
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:24,799
Да.
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:25,799
Привет.
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,799
Привет. А можно Токену выйти и поиграть?
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,799
Ну, на его голове все еще есть небольшая
рана, но вы можете войти, если хотите.
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:31,799
Вы просто сногшибательны.
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:34,399
- Токен, ты же не хочешь увидеть, как мы,
пацаны, завтра проиграем девчонкам? Не хочешь?
- Нет.
00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:35,799
Тогда ты должен позвонить
в тюрьму прямо сейчас и сказать им,
00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:38,799
что ты прощаешь Картману
его кретинизм. Да.
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:40,799
Я боюсь, мальчики, что все не так просто.
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,799
- Нет?
- Видите ли, единственный человек,
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,799
который может освободить
Эрика из подростковой колонии -
это губернатор.
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,799
ЧЕРТ ВОЗЬМИ. ТВОЮ МАТЬ. ЧЕРТ ВОЗЬМИ!
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:47,799
О, извините.
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:50,799
Не извиняйся. Я вообще-то согласен с тобой.
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:52,799
Да. Я вижу реальную проблему
в законодательстве относительно
преступлений на почве ненависти.
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,799
Фактически, я хотел бы, чтобы вы,
ребятки, сходили к губернатору
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:56,799
и передали ему хотя бы часть
моей точки зрения на всё это.
00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:58,799
А почему бы вам самому
не поговорить с губернатором?
00:14:58,800 --> 00:14:59,799
О, он бы не послушал меня.
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:01,799
- Но почему?
- Потому, что я - черный.
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:03,899
Присядьте, мальчики.
Я хотел бы преподать вам
00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:06,299
небольшой урок о законах
преступлений на почве ненависти.
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:28,499
О, слава Богу. О, слава Иисусу.
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,799
На, держи, черт тебя подери.
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:33,799
Круто. Моя собственная
игра Тик-Так-Тру.
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,799
Чувак, она воняет.
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,799
А какого черта ты ожидал, а?
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,799
Теперь, когда я достал твою дебильную игру,
расскажи мне, как свалить отсюда.
00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:43,799
Ты не сможешь выбраться отсюда.
Ты будешь здесь сидеть, пока тебе
не исполнится двадцать один год, мудила.
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:44,799
Но ты сказал...
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:46,799
Я просто хотел, что бы ты
стащил что-нибудь для меня.
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:49,799
Что? Неужели ты действительно думаешь,
что я буду суетиться, помогая тебе?
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:50,799
Я думал, что...
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:53,799
Мужик. Тебе лучше начать понимать,
как обстоят дела в большом доме.
00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:59,399
ЭЙ, ПАРНИ. У МЕНЯ ПОЯВИЛАСЬ
НОВАЯ ТИК-ТАК-ТРУ!
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:04,799
ДА. ОНА НЕМНОГО СТАРОВАТА,
НО СОВЕРШЕННО НОВАЯ.
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:08,799
МЫ МОЖЕМ СЫГРАТЬ В НЕЁ НА ПРОГУЛКЕ!
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:10,399
Эй, что ты делаешь.
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:18,699
Ты... ты не можешь плакать в тюрьме,
мужик. Мы тебе голову разобьем.
00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:19,799
Да что с тобой такое?
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:23,799
Я хочу мою маму.
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:25,799
Чувак.
00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:29,799
Мама. Я хочу мою маму.
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:32,899
Ладно. Если это так важно для тебя,
я помогу тебе выбраться отсюда.
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,099
Поможешь?
00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:38,799
Да. Да, помогу. Но не потому,
что ты мой друг.
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:41,799
Только потому, что..., потому что
я тоже хочу сбежать
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:43,799
и увидеть Диснейленд.
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:48,799
Губернатор, тут комитет "Немедленно
Освободите Эрика Картмана"
хочет встретиться с вами.
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:52,899
Нет. Только не еще один
комитет. Пусть проходят.
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:56,799
Это и есть комитет "Немедленно
Освободите Эрика Картмана"?
00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:57,799
Да.
00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:58,799
Хорошо, мальчики, что
я могу сделать для вас?
00:16:58,800 --> 00:16:59,799
Ну, давай, начинай.
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:01,899
- Я не начинаю. Ты начинаешь.
- А, да.
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:07,799
Здравствуйте, господин Губернатор,
и спасибо, что тратите время
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:08,799
на прослушивание нашей презентации
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:10,799
на тему законов о преступлениях
на почве ненависти
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:14,099
"Законы о Преступлениях на
почве Ненависти. Дикое Лицемерие".
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,799
Да, за последние несколько лет наша
великая страна разработала новые законы
о преступлениях на почве ненависти.
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,799
Если кто-то убивает кого-то,
это - преступление.
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:23,799
Но если кто-то убивает кого-то другой цвета,
то это - преступление на почве ненависти.
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:26,799
И мы считаем, что это
и есть дикое лицемерие,
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,799
потому что все преступления -
преступления на почве ненависти.
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:30,799
Если человек избивает
другого человека за то, что
этот человек переспал с его женой,
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:31,799
разве это не преступление
на почве ненависти?
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:36,799
Если человек разрушает правительственные
здания, то не потому ли,
что он ненавидит правительство?
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:39,799
Причина преступления
не должна влиять на приговор.
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:41,799
Мэр, пришло время перестать
делить людей на группы.
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:43,799
Все законы о преступлении
ненависти поддерживают идеи,
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:45,799
что чернокожие отличаются от белых,
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:48,799
что с гомосексуалистами должны
обращаться по-другому,
чем с негомосексуалистами,
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:49,799
как будто мы не одинаковы.
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,799
Вместо этого ко всем нам должны
относиться одинаково,
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,799
по одним и тем же законам и одинаковым
наказаниям за одинаковые преступления.
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:58,799
Таким образом, Картман может быть
освобожден из тюрьмы, и у нас
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:00,799
появится шанс победить
в гонке на санках в четверг.
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:03,799
Это была наша презентация,
главную идею которой мы называем...
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:07,799
"Законы о Преступлениях на
почве Ненависти. Дикое Лицемерие."
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:11,499
Гм... Это была самая осмысленная презентация,
которую я слышал за последние три года.
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:20,899
Торопись. Они пошлют за нами собак.
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:24,799
Что случилось?
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:27,799
Моя нога. Я думаю, она сломалась.
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:28,999
Беги дальше без меня.
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:29,799
Ладно.
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:32,799
Эй, предполагалось, что ты скажешь
что-то типа: "Я не пойду без тебя",
ну или что-то в это роде.
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:34,799
Серьезно?
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:36,299
Послушай, парень.
Ты должен жить дальше.
00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:37,799
У тебя есть то, ради чего там
стоит жить. У тебя есть друзья.
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:41,799
Да. Я никогда этого по-настоящему
не понимал до сего момента.
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,799
Я уверен, что ты любил
бывать в Диснейленде.
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:45,799
Держи. Я хочу, чтобы они были у тебя.
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:46,799
Хорошо.
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,799
Нет. Ты должен сказать,
что-то типа: "Я не могу их взять",
ну или что-то похожее, кретин.
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:51,799
О. Я не могу их взять.
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:54,899
Возьми. Они принесут тебе удачу.
Теперь иди. Выбирайся отсюда.
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,799
Ромпер.
00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:02,799
Ты... ну... Я знаю, что ты никогда
не думал о том, что у тебя
когда-либо будет друг, но...
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:04,799
...в общем, ты стал мне другом.
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:06,799
Не двигаться!
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:09,799
Вы не возьмете нас живыми.
Мы уйдем вместе, суки.
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:12,799
Но ты был помилован губернатором.
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:14,799
У-ау. Круто. Пока, чуваки!
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:20,799
Ну же. Мы едем или нет?
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:22,799
Нужно просто ждать.
Мы добились помилования Картмана.
Он будет здесь с минуты на минуту.
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:24,799
Он должен появиться. Он просто обязан.
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:26,799
Давайте уже.
У меня уже ноги мерзнут, чудилки.
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:29,799
Да. Если ты боишься
гонки, то так и скажи.
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:31,799
Чувак, мне кажется, что
мы должны попробовать без него.
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:32,799
Хорошо. Где Клайд?
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:33,799
Здесь.
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:34,799
Залазь на санки, толстый кусок дерьма.
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:39,799
В последний раз - я не жирный,
так что, ЧЕРТ ВОЗЬМИ,
прекрати называть меня жирным.
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:40,799
На санки, толстожопый.
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,799
Ну, девочки. Время показать
мальчишкам, что мы можем. Да!
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,799
Мм, итак. На старт. Внимание.
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:47,799
ЭЙ, ПАРНИ.
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:49,799
Это Картман. Ура!
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:51,799
Точно. Я вернулся.
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:54,799
О, спасибо. Спасибо, что ты вернулся.
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,799
Огромное, огромное спасибо.
00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:57,799
Что за черт с Клайдом?
00:19:57,800 --> 00:19:59,799
Это ваш последний шанс.
Мы едем или нет?
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:01,799
Давайте сделаем это.
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:03,799
Итак. Все готовы? По местам.
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,799
Я надеюсь, что смогу приспособиться
к жизни за пределами большого дома.
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:07,799
Мм, внимание. Марш!
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:10,799
Я был внутри так долго. Я уже
забыл, как жить снаружи.
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:11,899
Поехали, толстожопый.
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,799
Когда человек находится в неволе, проходит
через унижения, которые прошел я, это...
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:16,299
ПОЕХАЛИ, ТОЛСТОЖОПЫЙ!
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:19,099
Вперед. Мы должны догнать их!
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:21,799
Мы сделаем их, девчонки.
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:24,199
О, нет. Девчонки собираются победить.
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:27,999
А мы не можем их догнать.
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:41,499
УРА!
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:43,799
Мы сделали это.
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,799
"ДЕВЧОНКИ - ЧЕМПИОНЫ"
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:47,799
МЫ ПОБЕДИЛИ. МЫ ПОБЕДИЛИ!
00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:50,799
Да. Мы показали этим гребаным
сукам, кто в доме хозяин.
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,799
Хорошо, что ты вернулся, Картман.
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:54,799
Да. Мы больше не будем
считать твою жопу как данность.
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,799
Да, и я никогда не буду
считать моих друзей как данность.
00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:01,799
Пусть все услышат, какая
у Картмана жирная задница.
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:04,799
Причинение увечий британцу
считается преступлением
на почве ненависти?
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:05,799
Неа.
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:07,300
Круто!
00:21:09,750 --> 00:21:12,915
Эй, Ромпер Стомпер. Вставай!
У тебя посетитель.
00:21:13,093 --> 00:21:14,698
- Эрик.
- Эй, Ромпер Стомпер.
00:21:14,972 --> 00:21:17,876
Уау. У меня никогда
раньше не было посетителей.
00:21:17,911 --> 00:21:20,731
Ну, это еще не все.
Я кое-что припрятал для тебя.
00:21:20,767 --> 00:21:21,505
Серьезно?
00:21:22,634 --> 00:21:25,510
Помнишь, как ты рассказывал мне, что
всегда хотел посмотреть Диснейленд?
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:26,266
Да.
00:21:33,585 --> 00:21:35,812
О, ДА. Пираты Карибского моря.
00:21:35,872 --> 00:21:36,990
Уау.
00:21:37,025 --> 00:21:40,201
А вот и Космические горы
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:42,136
О, да.
00:21:44,002 --> 00:21:49,553
Маленький Мир. Гора Всплеска.
00:21:54,180 --> 00:21:56,703
Ух-ты. Монорельсовая дорога.
00:21:57,500 --> 00:21:59,609
Тайминг и перевод
- Nfire (nfire@tut.by)
Скриншоты
