Зуб за зуб зубной феи 2000

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♪ Gonna have myself

a time ♪

00:00:11,971 --> 00:00:13,681

♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:15,641

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

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♪ I'm going down

to South Park ♪

00:00:16,809 --> 00:00:18,686

♪ Gonna leave

my woes behind ♪

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♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:22,273

♪ People spouting

"howdy neighbor" ♪

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♪ Headin' on up

to South Park ♪

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♪ Gonna see

if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:28,738 --> 00:00:29,905

♪ Come on down

to South Park ♪

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♪ And meet

some friends of mine ♪

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Mom, Mom!

00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:36,203

Mom, seriously, something

wonderful has happened!

00:00:36,328 --> 00:00:37,455

What is it, snookums?

00:00:37,580 --> 00:00:38,998

Mom, look.

The Tooth Fairy.

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I put a tooth under my pillow,

and she gave me $2.

00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:42,334

She's only given me

a lousy quarter before.

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Oh, my.

00:00:44,170 --> 00:00:46,338

She must think that you are

a very special little muffin.

00:00:46,464 --> 00:00:48,174

Yeah, this is so tits!

00:00:48,299 --> 00:00:49,508

Don't say tits, Eric.

00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:51,594

Oh, I mean, this is so cool!

00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:53,345

Well, perhaps now

you should take that money

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and open up a savings account

00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:56,390

that has

compounded daily interest.

00:00:56,515 --> 00:00:59,060

You can compound daily

my ass with interest, Mom.

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I'm going to the toy store

and buy me a skateboard.

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But, Eric,

I think maybe the Tooth Fairy

00:01:03,064 --> 00:01:05,441

wants you to use that money

to learn about saving.

00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:06,942

Mom, you don't know

what the Tooth Fairy

00:01:07,068 --> 00:01:08,611

wants me to do

with this money, okay?

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You're not the Tooth Fairy.

I'll see you later.

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Oh, man, this is so tits!

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You guys, you're

not going to believe this!

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Oh, my god, you guys, seriously!

00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:17,661

Just wait until you hear this,

you guys!

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I'm rich,

I'm totally rich!

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Aren't you stoked?

00:01:20,289 --> 00:01:21,415

What the hell's

wrong with Cartman?

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He's fat and he's stupid?

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Look at what the Tooth Fairy

left me last night.

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$2.

- No way.

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For one tooth?

- For one tooth.

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Dude, every time I lost

a tooth, I only got a quarter.

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I only got

a jar of gefilte fish.

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Well, that doesn't matter,

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because I have an idea

that is totally tits.

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Totally what?

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Look, I don't know why

the Tooth Fairy's

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being so cool to me.

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Maybe she's hot for me.

I don't know.

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But if we all

chip in with teeth,

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then I can hide them

under my pillow,

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and we can get enough money

to buy a Sega Dreamcast.

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Sega Dreamcast?

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All we need is teeth.

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I already lost

all my baby teeth.

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Me too.

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Mm-mm.

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You still have baby teeth,

Kenny?

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No way!

- Kenny, think about it.

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Don't you want a Sega Dreamcast?

00:02:02,748 --> 00:02:03,999

Alright, Kenny's in,

you guys!

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Tits!

00:02:07,419 --> 00:02:08,921

Okay, the string

is tied to Kenny's tooth.

00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:09,922

You ready over there?

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Almost.

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You ready, Timmy?

- Timmy!

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When I say go, you slam

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your electric wheelchair

into high gear.

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Okay, Timmy?

- Timmy!

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Right, you're Timmy.

- Timmy, labalayah!

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I'll tell you why

it has to be you, Kenny.

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Because your family is poor

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and therefore has

bad oral hygiene,

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so your teeth are going to

fall out someday anyway.

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If you think about it, you

should actually be thanking us.

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"Oh, thank you guys."

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You're welcome, Kenny.

- Fuck you!

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Alright, get ready, Timmy.

- Timmy!

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Hey guys, what are you doing?

00:02:35,364 --> 00:02:36,824

What does it look like

we're doing, Butters?

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We need a tooth,

so we're using

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Timmy's wheelchair

to pull out one of Kenny's.

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Oh, hey, I got

a loose tooth right here.

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- You what?

- You what?

00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:44,665

Timmy!

- Yep.

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One of mine came out

not two hours ago.

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Uh, Butters, could we have it?

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Well, heck, no,

you can't have it.

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Why, I'm going to stick it

under my pillow

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and get money

from the Tooth Fairy.

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She gives me 50 cents a tooth.

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Well, I'll see you, fellas.

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Dude, maybe we

don't have to rip a tooth

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out of Kenny's mouth.

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Yeah, we just have to get

Butters' tooth.

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Whoo-hoo!

- How we gonna get it from him?

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I guess we'll have to

sneak into his house

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after he goes to sleep tonight.

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Yeah, let's go.

- Go, Timmy, go!

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Yaaah, Timmy!

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No, Timmy, wait!

- Timmy!

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Oof!

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You guys, I can see

Kenny's little ping-a-ling.

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Waaah!

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Higher, you guys.

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Jesus Christ, why did we pick

the fat guy to lift up in there?

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Ah!

Careful, you assholes!

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To the left, you guys, left.

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No, camera left, camera left.

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That's it.

Now down.

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What the?

Who's there?

00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:46,685

Who is that?

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I am the Tooth Fairy,

my child.

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Oh, sorry, Miss Fairy,

I didn't mean to gaze at you.

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I'm back asleep now.

See?

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Yes, now I will leave you

tidings under your pillow.

00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:04,536

Oh, gosh, I didn't think

you'd be so fat.

00:04:04,662 --> 00:04:06,330

Hey!

- Come on, fat-ass.

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Do not open your eyes

until morning,

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or else I will

kick you in the nuts,

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square in the nuts.

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Yes, ma'am.

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Well?

00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,509

Bull's-eye.

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♪ Tucky-tucky time ♪

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♪ It's the best time

of the night ♪

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I love that song, Mom.

Sing it again.

00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:26,100

No, honey,

mommy's got to save her throat.

00:04:26,225 --> 00:04:27,476

I have to work tonight.

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Okay.

Good night.

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What do you have there, Eric?

00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:32,898

Another tooth fell out today.

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I'm leaving it

for the Tooth Fairy.

00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:37,403

Oh, my, the Tooth Fairy will

have to give you a big surprise

00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:39,154

for losing two teeth

in two days.

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I know, huh?

00:04:41,657 --> 00:04:42,491

You guys,

oh, my God, you guys!

00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:43,909

You're not going to believe it!

00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:45,244

It's beyond rational thought,

you guys!

00:04:45,369 --> 00:04:46,704

Holy crap, you guys!

00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:48,539

Did the tooth fairy come?

- $4.

00:04:48,664 --> 00:04:49,790

Oh, my God!

- Wow!

00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:51,083

Do you guys

know what this means?

00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:52,751

Yeah, we just

got to keep finding teeth

00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:53,794

and putting them

under your pillow.

00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:57,506

Dentist's office.

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Oh, hello.

Dr. Roberts?

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It's Miss Cartman.

00:05:00,718 --> 00:05:02,594

Oh, yes, Miss Cartman,

what can I do for you?

00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:03,804

Well, it's my son.

00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:05,723

He's lost

a lot of his baby teeth,

00:05:05,848 --> 00:05:07,599

and I was starting

to get worried.

00:05:07,725 --> 00:05:10,394

Well, losing baby teeth is

a natural thing, Miss Cartman.

00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:11,687

How many has he lost?

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About 112.

00:05:15,107 --> 00:05:16,483

112?

00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,861

Yes.

15 of them in one night.

00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:21,030

Perhaps he should

switch toothpaste?

00:05:21,155 --> 00:05:24,533

Your son wouldn't happen to be

an alligator, would he?

00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,618

No?

Hmm, I see.

00:05:26,744 --> 00:05:28,287

Well, I'm afraid

I can't help you right now.

00:05:28,412 --> 00:05:30,956

The American Dental Association

Convention is this week.

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But as soon as I get back,

I'll look into it.

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Oh, thank you.

00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:35,544

Freebie next week!

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What?

00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:39,173

Ti--

00:05:39,298 --> 00:05:40,632

Tooth?

00:05:40,758 --> 00:05:41,800

What the hell?

00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:43,510

Mom!

- Yes, Eric?

00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:45,971

The stupid Tooth Fairy forgot

to bring me money last night.

00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:48,515

Call the police.

- Oh, Eric, poopie, sit down.

00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:50,017

Mommy has something to tell you.

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It's just that...

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Well, there is no Tooth Fairy,

Eric.

00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:57,274

I've been putting all that money

under your pillow.

00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:59,109

And because you've had

so many teeth fall out,

00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:00,944

I've actually run out of money

and can't go

00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:04,323

to the grocery store

for at least a month.

00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:07,493

You almost had me

for a second there, Mom.

00:06:07,618 --> 00:06:08,952

There's no tooth fairy.

00:06:09,078 --> 00:06:10,329

I suppose

you're going to tell me

00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:12,748

there's no Santa Claus,

Easter Bunny, or Jesus either.

00:06:16,168 --> 00:06:17,294

Mom?

00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:18,754

I'm sorry, Eric.

00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,589

All children find out

sooner or later.

00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,591

You--you're serious here.

00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:23,592

There really is no Tooth Fairy?

00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,094

No, honey, it's just--

00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:26,804

How could--how could you

lie to me, Mother?

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Lie right to my face.

00:06:28,389 --> 00:06:30,682

Oh, Eric,

it's just part of being a child.

00:06:30,808 --> 00:06:32,059

How can I trust you?

00:06:32,184 --> 00:06:34,770

How can I trust anyone

ever again, Mother?

00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,855

I guess that to make it

in this life,

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I can only trust myself.

00:06:39,608 --> 00:06:41,610

Myself and Willikins Bear,

of course.

00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:42,945

Eric.

Eric, wait.

00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:44,822

No, Mother!

No more lies!

00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:51,412

Dude, where's the money?

- There is no money.

00:06:51,537 --> 00:06:52,621

No more money?

00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,123

What are you talking about,

Cartman?

00:06:54,248 --> 00:06:55,624

We're only $167 away

from getting a Sega.

00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,210

I know.

- Cartman, what's going on?

00:06:58,335 --> 00:07:00,712

You guys...

00:07:00,838 --> 00:07:02,214

Oh, God, I don't even

know how to tell you this.

00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:04,299

Tell us what?

00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:06,093

You guys, there's--there's

no Tooth Fairy, you guys.

00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:07,469

There, I said it.

00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,138

What do you mean

there's no Tooth Fairy?

00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:11,014

My mom's been giving us

the money all this time.

00:07:11,140 --> 00:07:12,724

And your parents are the ones

who left you money.

00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:14,435

Dude.

- That can't be.

00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:15,894

My parents wouldn't lie to me.

00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,354

But now my mom's

given us so much money

00:07:17,479 --> 00:07:19,440

that she's bankrupt,

and we're poor like Kenny.

00:07:19,565 --> 00:07:20,858

Don't touch me, Kenny.

- You're wrong!

00:07:20,983 --> 00:07:22,526

If my dad says

something is real,

00:07:22,651 --> 00:07:23,527

then it's real.

00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:25,279

Kyle, open your eyes, man.

00:07:25,404 --> 00:07:26,864

It's not true!

00:07:29,575 --> 00:07:30,742

Oh, hello, son.

00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:32,202

Dad, there is so

a Tooth Fairy, huh?

00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:33,829

What?

Oh.

00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,414

Kyle, let's have a little talk.

00:07:35,539 --> 00:07:37,374

Oh my god, you did lie to me!

00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:39,501

No, Kyle,

she's just make-believe,

00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,044

like Peter Pan.

00:07:41,170 --> 00:07:42,254

Peter Pan too?

00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:44,590

Kyle--

what about Moses and Abraham?

00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:46,008

Well, they were probably real.

00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:47,634

Probably?

Is Atlantis real?

00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:49,011

Probably not.

00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:50,471

But, Kyle,

adults make up those things

00:07:50,596 --> 00:07:51,972

because they're fun

for children.

00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:53,307

Fun for children?

Fun for children?

00:07:53,432 --> 00:07:54,975

Look at me, dad.

00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,810

I don't even know

what's real anymore, yaaahhh!

00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:03,108

Man, I can't believe

all our parents

00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:05,068

lied to us

about the Tooth Fairy.

00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:06,945

What about Dan Rather?

Do you think he's real?

00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:08,655

No, man.

That's just a TV show.

00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,365

You guys, you guys,

I figured it out!

00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:11,867

What, that your parents

lied to you too?

00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:13,035

Yeah, but it's okay.

00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:14,286

We can still get

our Sega Dreamcast.

00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:15,662

How?

00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:17,456

Look, the Tooth Fairy

is all made up, right?

00:08:17,581 --> 00:08:19,249

All made up, not real.

Nothing's real.

00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:21,877

So all we have to do is go

to a really rich kid's house,

00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,587

put our tooth under his pillow,

00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:25,547

wait for his parents to leave

him a whole butt load of money,

00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:26,965

and then sneak back in

and take it.

00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,008

Whoo-hoo!

00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:29,176

The kid'll never even know.

00:08:29,301 --> 00:08:30,719

Oh, dude, that is tits!

00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,721

I mean, that is

big fat Oprah tits right there!

00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:33,847

Oh my God,

what if I'm not real?

00:08:33,972 --> 00:08:35,224

We can take the bus

to the city.

00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:36,600

There's super-rich people

down there.

00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:37,601

Yeah!

00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:38,644

I mean, what if I'm just

00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:39,728

part of my parents' reality?

00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,230

Come on, Kyle.

00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:42,439

What if this is all

just somebody's dream?

00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:51,823

Wow, look at the size

of these houses.

00:08:51,949 --> 00:08:53,867

Told you, dude, Cherry Creek

is the richest part of Denver.

00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:55,744

I'll bet these kids get

at least ten bucks a tooth

00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:56,828

from the "Tooth Fairy."

00:08:56,954 --> 00:08:58,163

Hey, that house looks perfect.

00:08:58,288 --> 00:08:59,706

There's obviously kids

living there.

00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:01,333

Here, you can tell

this is the kid's window

00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:02,668

'cause it's got

Mega Man stickers on it.

00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:03,961

Cartman, once you're in

the kid's room,

00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:05,671

leave the tooth under

the pillow, then come back out.

00:09:05,796 --> 00:09:07,256

We'll wait for the parents

to see it and leave money,

00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:08,632

then swing you back

in the house to grab it.

00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:10,050

Got it.

00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:11,635

This is the smartest

business venture ever.

00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:17,307

What the?

00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:19,184

Hey, what the hell

are you guys doing?

00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:21,019

We're gonna sneak a tooth

under this rich kid's pillow,

00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:22,896

then come back and collect

the Tooth Fairy money

00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:25,357

that his parents leave him.

00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:26,942

Hey, you can't do that.

- Why not?

00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,443

Because

that's what we're doing.

00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:29,695

Yeah, you ripped off our idea.

00:09:29,820 --> 00:09:31,029

What the hell

are you talking about?

00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:32,864

We've been doing this

for over two years.

00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:35,033

Two years?

- Nice tooth fairy costume.

00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:36,660

You think

anybody'd believe you in that?

00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:38,120

It's better than your dress.

00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:39,746

You look like a bad

Jennifer Lopez nightmare.

00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:42,416

How dare you!

00:09:42,541 --> 00:09:44,042

Look, this is our turf.

00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:46,211

You better scram before the boss

breaks your legs.

00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:47,588

You scram.

We were here first.

00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:48,672

What's going on?

00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:50,299

Oh, it's the Tooth Fairies.

00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:51,592

Oh, nice going.

Now you woke him up.

00:09:51,717 --> 00:09:53,051

You woke him up.

00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:54,595

I don't have any loose teeth,

Miss Fairies,

00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:55,929

but I have been a very good boy.

00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:57,514

- Shut up!

- Alright, that does it.

00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:58,807

Come on,

we're going to see the boss.

00:09:58,932 --> 00:09:59,933

Who's the boss?

00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:00,684

Loogie.

00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:04,354

My associates here tell me

00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:05,731

you were working Cherry Creek

tonight.

00:10:05,856 --> 00:10:07,357

Is that true?

- Uh, yeah.

00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:08,984

Right on our turf, boss.

00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,235

I ain't never seen

that kind of disre--

00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,903

We were there first!

00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:13,238

Kids have been doing

the Tooth Fairy racket

00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:14,781

in this town for years.

00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:16,533

I do it just like

my big brother before me

00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:17,909

and my oldest brother

before that.

00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:19,661

Damn it, and we thought

we were so original.

00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:21,455

Let me ask you something.

00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:23,624

You were gonna sneak a tooth

under this rich kid's pillow.

00:10:23,749 --> 00:10:25,792

Then what?

- What do you mean?

00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:27,252

How are

the kid's parents gonna know

00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:29,755

there was a tooth

under their child's pillow?

00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,340

Ha!

00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:33,258

You guys don't even know

how the tooth trade works.

00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:34,718

What's a tooth trade?

00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:36,345

Look, any schmuck

can sneak through a window

00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:37,554

wearing a pretty dress.

00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:39,473

The tooth racket

is much more involved.

00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:41,350

We keep careful track

of what houses we've hit

00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:42,684

so that we don't hit

the same one twice

00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,102

in less than two months.

00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:45,562

Inside the house,

we not only have to sneak

00:10:45,687 --> 00:10:46,772

a tooth under the pillow,

00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:48,815

but leave a note

for Mom and Dad to see.

00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:50,567

This is how

we let the parents know

00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:53,028

to leave money under the pillow.

00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,946

Once the notes have been placed

in the last house,

00:10:55,072 --> 00:10:57,366

we start all over,

going back to the first house.

00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:59,076

But this time,

all we have to do

00:10:59,201 --> 00:11:00,827

is collect money.

00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:02,913

And the kids

never know what hit them.

00:11:03,038 --> 00:11:04,289

Wow.

00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:05,874

The hardest part

is getting teeth.

00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,334

We try various places:

00:11:07,459 --> 00:11:08,794

cemeteries,

00:11:08,919 --> 00:11:11,421

hockey games,

00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:13,423

anywhere we can find them.

00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:14,800

No!

00:11:14,925 --> 00:11:16,176

The teeth we do manage

to acquire

00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:18,679

are then sorted according

to size, color, and quality.

00:11:18,804 --> 00:11:20,097

But there's never enough teeth.

00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:21,932

Never enough.

00:11:22,057 --> 00:11:23,183

Amazing.

00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:24,726

Man, that is tits!

00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:27,020

And now my only problem is,

00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:29,690

what do I do with you?

00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:32,192

Tell you what,

how would you like

00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:33,902

to run the South Park

tooth racket for me?

00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,987

Oh.

I don't know.

00:11:36,113 --> 00:11:38,198

It's that, or else

I can cut off your penises.

00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:40,367

Hmm,

work for you?

00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:41,993

Have my penis cut off?

00:11:42,119 --> 00:11:43,995

Work for you?

Have my penis cut off?

00:11:44,121 --> 00:11:45,330

Let's see.

- Cartman!

00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:46,748

How much do we get

if we work for you?

00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:48,208

I'll cut you in at 2%.

00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:50,085

2%?

00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:51,336

Have my penis cut off?

2%--

00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:52,337

We're in.

00:11:54,172 --> 00:11:56,425

Fellow dentists,

as you all know,

00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:58,552

we are still having numerous

reports of missing teeth

00:11:58,677 --> 00:12:00,137

from all over the country.

00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:03,223

There are also reports

of missing Tooth Fairy money.

00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:06,768

We believe that there can be

only one logical reason

00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,770

for all of this.

00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:13,275

A giant half-chicken,

half-squirrel

00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,110

that steals

either teeth or money

00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,112

from children as they sleep

in order to build

00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:20,198

some kind of giant nest

for its genetically superior

00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:22,200

and potentially dangerous

offspring.

00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:24,703

We believe also that this

creature would have at least

00:12:24,828 --> 00:12:26,747

a mild understanding of algebra

00:12:26,872 --> 00:12:28,290

and that it--

00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:33,211

Uh, excuse me, I think

I have a more logical theory.

00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:35,380

Well--well,

by all means, Mr. Foley,

00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:36,590

enlighten us.

00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:37,883

I think what we've got here

00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:40,177

is some kind of

black market tooth racket,

00:12:40,302 --> 00:12:42,262

something where one group

is stealing the money and teeth

00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:44,681

from another group for a profit.

00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:51,813

Oh, Mr. Foley, you realize

how ridiculous that sounds.

00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:52,898

It's not ridiculous.

00:12:53,023 --> 00:12:53,940

It's very possible.

00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:55,233

I've seen it happen before.

00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:56,985

Where?

In Montreal.

00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,324

And where, pray, is this

00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:03,867

Montreal?

00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:05,535

Look, I know

how to handle this.

00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:07,245

All we have to do

is bring down the kingpin,

00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:08,371

and the rest will fall.

00:13:08,497 --> 00:13:09,956

You'll see.

00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:11,708

I'll have it taken care of

in a matter of weeks.

00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:13,877

Very well, Mr. Foley,

00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:16,505

you go on your wild goose chase.

00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:19,591

And meanwhile, we'll deal

with the real problems at hand.

00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:22,344

I will.

00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,429

Anyway...

00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:25,931

The half-chicken, half-squirrel

00:13:26,056 --> 00:13:28,391

would most likely be

about 3 to 4 1/2 feet tall.

00:13:28,517 --> 00:13:30,519

His large beak

is probably detachable,

00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:31,686

and works as a flotation device.

00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:44,407

Hello there, children.

00:13:44,533 --> 00:13:45,659

Hey, Chef.

00:13:45,784 --> 00:13:46,910

We all want

double desserts today.

00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:48,495

Oh, well, I'm afraid

00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:50,455

that the school charges extra

for that.

00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:52,415

Yeah, well,

that ain't nothin' but a thang.

00:13:52,541 --> 00:13:53,750

Oh, my God.

00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:56,044

There's got to be

at least $15 here.

00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,587

That's right.

Keep the change, my man.

00:13:57,712 --> 00:14:00,340

Well, look at

you cute little crackers,

00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:02,676

with your money

and your fancy clothes

00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:04,094

and your cell phones.

00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:05,720

It's almost like you are--

00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:07,138

Oh my God!

00:14:07,264 --> 00:14:09,182

Children, what have I

told you about drugs?

00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:11,184

That there's a time

and a place for everything

00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:12,185

and it's called college.

00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:13,770

That's right.

00:14:13,895 --> 00:14:15,272

And the only thing worse

than doing drugs

00:14:15,397 --> 00:14:16,857

is dealing drugs.

00:14:16,982 --> 00:14:18,441

I'm going to tell you about

when I was your age

00:14:18,567 --> 00:14:20,318

and got offered drugs.

00:14:22,571 --> 00:14:24,364

Ooh, come on, now.

- Hey, kid.

00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:26,241

You want to try some dope?

- What?

00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,243

Come on, kid,

don't you want to get high?

00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,786

Hey, man, I don't need dope.

00:14:29,911 --> 00:14:31,329

Let me sing you a little song.

00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:33,456

♪ I can't wait until I grow up ♪

00:14:33,582 --> 00:14:35,375

♪ And my weenie

gets big and strong ♪

00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,168

♪ 'cause when it does,

I'm gonna bust ♪

00:14:37,294 --> 00:14:39,379

♪ And make love to you,

Amanda, all night long ♪

00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:42,507

♪ I'm gonna make love to you,

Amanda, in about ten years ♪

00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:44,259

What the hell

is he talking about?

00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,011

♪ And this toothpick

is gonna turn into an oak tree ♪

00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:47,262

Uh, Chef?

00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,430

♪ I'm gonna knock you down ♪

00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,098

Chef.

- ♪ And knock you all around ♪

00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:51,141

Chef!

- Huh?

00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:52,309

We're not dealing drugs.

00:14:52,434 --> 00:14:53,852

You're not?

- No.

00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:55,979

Oh, well, children,

whatever you're doing,

00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:57,188

just remember this:

00:14:57,314 --> 00:14:59,524

having money may seem fun, but--

00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:03,236

Oh, never mind.

00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:04,487

- Thanks, Chef.

- See ya.

00:15:04,613 --> 00:15:06,448

Damn,

that little Amanda was fine.

00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:08,491

I got to look her up.

00:15:08,617 --> 00:15:10,327

Dude,

having this much money is great.

00:15:10,452 --> 00:15:11,745

Working for Loogie rules.

00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:14,164

Yeah, but you know,

why do we need Loogie?

00:15:14,289 --> 00:15:15,749

We know how the trade works.

00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:17,876

Why don't we do it ourselves

and keep all the profit?

00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:19,920

We can't do that, dude;

Loogie will kick our asses.

00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:21,880

Oh, what the hell is that

little Polack gonna do, huh?

00:15:22,005 --> 00:15:25,342

Come on, you guys, I say we

create our own mob crime family.

00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:26,718

Dude, this book says

there could be

00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:29,012

infinite alternate realities

to every reality.

00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:30,013

Shut up, Kyle.

00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,225

They're what?

They're not gonna pay me?

00:15:34,351 --> 00:15:35,477

Who the hell

do they think they are?

00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:37,145

I want

those South Park kids dead.

00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,521

I want their families dead.

00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:40,106

I want their houses

burned to the ground.

00:15:40,231 --> 00:15:41,858

Oh, hi, there, mister.

00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:43,902

My mommy and daddy are out front

if you need them.

00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:45,362

Let's cut the crap, kid.

00:15:45,487 --> 00:15:46,780

My name is Tom Foley.

00:15:46,905 --> 00:15:49,658

I'm with

the American Dental Association.

00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:51,159

Sit down, Mr. Foley.

00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:52,243

You want some spaghetti?

00:15:52,369 --> 00:15:53,244

No, thanks.

00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:55,246

I just brushed.

00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:57,666

I just wanted to let you know

that I'm on to you.

00:15:57,791 --> 00:15:58,959

I told the A.D.A.

a thousand times.

00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:00,043

I know nothing about teeth.

00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:01,378

I'm just an eight-year-old boy

00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:03,213

who likes climbing trees

and playing in puddles.

00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:05,173

I am going to find out

who the boss is.

00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,217

And when I do,

I'm going to bust his ass

00:16:07,342 --> 00:16:10,261

and everyone's ass

who helped hide his ass.

00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:17,435

So you've brought me

400 pounds of teeth from China?

00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,479

That's right, yeah;

it's all top-grade stuff too.

00:16:19,604 --> 00:16:21,731

These Chinese kids are selling

their teeth for peanuts, see?

00:16:21,856 --> 00:16:23,149

How much?

00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:24,359

Well, Tang Lee wants 30,

00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,695

but I can cut you a deal

for 28, yeah?

00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:27,862

What do you say, huh?

00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:29,114

Can I ask you a question,

Weasel?

00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:31,157

Well--well--well, sure, sure.

00:16:31,282 --> 00:16:32,492

Do you think I'm an idiot?

00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:33,868

Huh?

00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:35,412

These are cat teeth,

you son of a bitch!

00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:37,372

You trying to sell me

400 pounds of cat teeth?

00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:38,665

Get out of my sight!

00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:40,125

Lousy little scum.

00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:41,126

What?

00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:42,460

This is your last chance, kid.

00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:44,004

Either you

give the boss his cut,

00:16:44,129 --> 00:16:45,714

or else we're gonna throw

your pal into the river

00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:46,840

wearing concrete galoshes.

00:16:46,965 --> 00:16:48,258

I ain't giving you crap.

00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:50,260

Kenny's not afraid of you.

00:16:50,385 --> 00:16:51,720

Oh my god,

this book says

00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:53,221

that negative and positive

are the same thing,

00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,889

that real and not real are one.

00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:56,182

He's not gonna do it?

00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:57,308

He's not gonna do it?

00:16:57,434 --> 00:16:58,393

He's not gonna do it, boss.

00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,395

Well, then, throw him in.

00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,814

All right, kid, time to die.

00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:10,905

Oh, man,

how deep is the Platte River?

00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:12,323

To which Ms. Clinton replied,

00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,159

"I don't even like vagina."

00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:15,910

Finally tonight,

a human interest story.

00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:17,328

Dan Akawa is live.

00:17:17,454 --> 00:17:18,872

Thanks, Tom.

00:17:18,997 --> 00:17:21,041

I'm here at the house

of little Billy Circlovich.

00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:23,376

Billy is in desperate need

of a bone marrow transplant,

00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:24,878

or he will most certainly die.

00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:27,964

Billy, how much more money

do you need for the transplant?

00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:29,466

$600--

00:17:29,591 --> 00:17:30,550

Louder, Billy,

we can't hear you!

00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:32,218

$600.

- Wow, that's a lot of money.

00:17:32,343 --> 00:17:33,803

How the hell

are you gonna get all that

00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:35,055

in the short amount of time

you have left?

00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:36,973

I don't know.

00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:39,017

Well, Billy, I also understand

that you lost a tooth today.

00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:40,602

Billy, we want you

to put that tooth

00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:42,062

under your pillow tonight,

00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:43,980

because we have a feeling

that the Tooth Fairy

00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:45,148

is going to leave you

00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:47,358

$600 for it.

00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:48,068

Really?

- Really?

00:17:48,193 --> 00:17:50,403

Yes, really, $600.

00:17:50,528 --> 00:17:52,072

I might also mention

that Billy lives

00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:54,240

in Crestview Apartments just off

Arapaho Road on Emporia Street.

00:17:54,365 --> 00:17:55,950

Back to you, Tom.

00:17:56,076 --> 00:17:57,535

How was that?

00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:59,537

Perfect.

The trap is set.

00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:01,247

Oh, come on,

you really think anyone

00:18:01,372 --> 00:18:02,999

will fall for something

that stupid?

00:18:03,124 --> 00:18:04,834

$600, you guys!

00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:06,252

Come on,

get your stuff together.

00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:07,712

This is gonna be tits!

00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:09,005

Dude, this book says

that I don't exist

00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:10,715

unless I think I do,

but what if I don't?

00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,217

Will somebody

take those books away from him?

00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:17,722

Be sure to put

your loose tooth

00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:18,973

under your pillow, Billy.

00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:19,974

Okay, Mom.

00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:26,147

Thank you for helping,

gentlemen.

00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:27,524

If this sting operation works,

00:18:27,649 --> 00:18:29,109

some bogus tooth fairy

should be showing up

00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:30,318

to take the sick kid's money.

00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:31,653

When they touch

the kid's pillow,

00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,071

an alarm will sound.

00:18:33,196 --> 00:18:34,531

And that's when

you hit the button, Murphy,

00:18:34,656 --> 00:18:35,782

and activate the lights.

00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:37,158

- Everybody got it?

- Got it.

00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:39,994

Duh, which button

do I hit again, boss?

00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,412

Just kidding.

00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:42,956

You know how there's always

the dumb guy

00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:44,207

in sting operations

in the movies?

00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:45,750

I was just--you know,

I was just acting--

00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:48,253

I just like--yeah--oh.

00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:49,712

Hurry up, you guys;

we got to get

00:18:49,838 --> 00:18:51,714

that sick kid's Tooth Fairy

money before Loogie does.

00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:53,133

I can't deal with it, Stan.

00:18:53,258 --> 00:18:54,467

I mean, all this stuff

I've been reading,

00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:55,718

I really don't think I exist.

00:18:55,844 --> 00:18:57,303

Dude,

just stop thinking about it.

00:18:57,428 --> 00:18:59,055

But I can't, because what if

thinking about it

00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:01,099

is the only thing keeping

my space-time together?

00:19:01,224 --> 00:19:02,350

Help!

Hey, you guys, over here!

00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,352

Sometimes I think I can see

time slowing down

00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:05,436

and my own existence fading.

00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:08,398

Good night, Mom.

Good night, Dad.

00:19:08,523 --> 00:19:11,985

Alright,

everyone keep your eyes peeled.

00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:13,153

I'm going to bed now, Mommy.

00:19:13,278 --> 00:19:14,445

I put my tooth under the pillow.

00:19:14,571 --> 00:19:15,947

Do you really think

the Tooth Fairy

00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:17,365

will give me money

for the transplant?

00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:18,950

I think so, Billy.

I think so.

00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:20,577

I can't wait to feel healthy

and strong again.

00:19:20,702 --> 00:19:22,412

Yeah, well,

you're gonna have to wait

00:19:22,537 --> 00:19:24,497

a little bit longer, Billy,

'cause that 600 bucks is mine.

00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:26,291

Light is a wave

unless it's observed.

00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:29,377

That means all matter

is just a wave.

00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:30,670

Nothing's real.

00:19:30,795 --> 00:19:34,465

Reality and--oh, God,

it's happening!

00:19:34,591 --> 00:19:35,967

Kyle?

00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:38,845

Hey, something strange

is happening with the computers.

00:19:38,970 --> 00:19:41,848

Well, well, well,

what do we have here?

00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:43,766

Oh, shit.

00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:46,060

Did you bastards really think

you could hide from me forever?

00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:49,022

Klosky, put this butt wipe

out of his misery.

00:19:49,147 --> 00:19:50,732

I got it.

The Tooth Fairy!

00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:53,735

Let's move out!

00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:54,736

Well, crap.

00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:55,778

Give it up, kids.

00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:57,030

You're surrounded by dentists.

00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:58,615

It was a trap.

- That's right.

00:19:58,740 --> 00:20:00,783

And now it's all exposed.

You're through.

00:20:00,909 --> 00:20:01,951

The only thing left to do

00:20:02,076 --> 00:20:03,703

is haul all you kids

down to prison.

00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:05,121

This is reality.

00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:08,124

I am everywhere and nowhere.

00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:09,209

What the hell?

00:20:09,334 --> 00:20:10,210

Kyle?

00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:11,586

I am nothing

00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,671

and everything.

00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:27,227

Aha!

I told you.

00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:32,023

Let's get out of here!

00:20:38,321 --> 00:20:40,490

Huh.

That was pretty weird.

00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:42,116

Jesus!

00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:43,451

The little sick kid

was a setup all along.

00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:45,536

How could I be so stupid?

- What?

00:20:45,662 --> 00:20:47,247

I can't believe I fell for

such an obvious trap.

00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:48,623

What the hell's wrong with me?

00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:51,417

Well,

don't take it too hard, dude.

00:20:51,542 --> 00:20:52,752

That's what grown-ups do;

they lie.

00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:54,629

Lie right to your face.

00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,089

Oh, well, maybe it's good

my empire has fallen.

00:20:56,214 --> 00:20:57,090

Really?

- Yeah.

00:20:57,215 --> 00:20:58,466

I kind of wanted to play on

00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:00,176

the flag football team

this year, anyways.

00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:02,053

So you're

not going to hurt us or nothing?

00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:04,222

No, in a way, I'm just glad

the whole thing's over with.

00:21:04,347 --> 00:21:06,266

Yeah, but you know,

I've learned something today.

00:21:06,391 --> 00:21:07,976

You see,

the basis of all reasoning

00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:09,227

is the mind's awareness

of itself.

00:21:09,352 --> 00:21:10,395

What we think,

00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:12,063

the external objects

we perceive,

00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:14,399

are all like actors

that come on and offstage.

00:21:14,524 --> 00:21:16,484

But our consciousness,

the stage itself,

00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:18,194

is always present to us.

00:21:20,488 --> 00:21:21,614

Tits.

00:21:55,606 --> 00:21:56,232

Timmy!

00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:11,846

♪ Gonna have myself

a time ♪

00:00:11,971 --> 00:00:13,681

Both: ♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:15,641

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:16,684

♪ I'm going down

to South Park ♪

00:00:16,809 --> 00:00:18,686

♪ Gonna leave

my woes behind ♪

00:00:18,811 --> 00:00:20,354

♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:22,273

♪ People spouting

"howdy neighbor" ♪

00:00:22,398 --> 00:00:23,566

♪ Headin' on up

to South Park ♪

00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:25,026

♪ Gonna see

if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:25,151 --> 00:00:28,612

♪ [muffled] ♪

00:00:28,738 --> 00:00:29,905

♪ Come on down

to South Park ♪

00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:31,490

♪ And meet

some friends of mine ♪

00:00:32,616 --> 00:00:34,118

Mom, Mom!

00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:36,203

Mom, seriously, something

wonderful has happened!

00:00:36,328 --> 00:00:37,455

What is it, snookums?

00:00:37,580 --> 00:00:38,998

Mom, look.

The Tooth Fairy.

00:00:39,123 --> 00:00:40,708

I put a tooth under my pillow,

and she gave me $2.

00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:42,334

She's only given me

a lousy quarter before.

00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:44,045

Oh, my.

00:00:44,170 --> 00:00:46,338

She must think that you are

a very special little muffin.

00:00:46,464 --> 00:00:48,174

Yeah, this is so tits!

00:00:48,299 --> 00:00:49,508

Don't say tits, Eric.

00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:51,594

Oh, I mean, this is so cool!

00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:53,345

Well, perhaps now

you should take that money

00:00:53,471 --> 00:00:54,597

and open up a savings account

00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:56,390

that has

compounded daily interest.

00:00:56,515 --> 00:00:59,060

You can compound daily

my ass with interest, Mom.

00:00:59,185 --> 00:01:00,978

I'm going to the toy store

and buy me a skateboard.

00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:02,938

But, Eric,

I think maybe the Tooth Fairy

00:01:03,064 --> 00:01:05,441

wants you to use that money

to learn about saving.

00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:06,942

Mom, you don't know

what the Tooth Fairy

00:01:07,068 --> 00:01:08,611

wants me to do

with this money, okay?

00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,279

You're not the Tooth Fairy.

I'll see you later.

00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,990

Oh, man, this is so tits!

00:01:13,115 --> 00:01:14,825

You guys, you're

not going to believe this!

00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:16,160

Oh, my god, you guys, seriously!

00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:17,661

Just wait until you hear this,

you guys!

00:01:17,787 --> 00:01:18,788

I'm rich,

I'm totally rich!

00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:20,164

Aren't you stoked?

00:01:20,289 --> 00:01:21,415

What the hell's

wrong with Cartman?

00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:22,958

He's fat and he's stupid?

00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:25,503

Look at what the Tooth Fairy

left me last night.

00:01:25,628 --> 00:01:27,296

$2.

- No way.

00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,757

For one tooth?

- For one tooth.

00:01:29,882 --> 00:01:31,634

Dude, every time I lost

a tooth, I only got a quarter.

00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:33,052

I only got

a jar of gefilte fish.

00:01:33,177 --> 00:01:34,470

Well, that doesn't matter,

00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:37,556

because I have an idea

that is totally tits.

00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:39,016

Totally what?

00:01:39,141 --> 00:01:40,351

Look, I don't know why

the Tooth Fairy's

00:01:40,476 --> 00:01:41,727

being so cool to me.

00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:43,104

Maybe she's hot for me.

I don't know.

00:01:43,229 --> 00:01:44,396

But if we all

chip in with teeth,

00:01:44,522 --> 00:01:45,940

then I can hide them

under my pillow,

00:01:46,065 --> 00:01:47,983

and we can get enough money

to buy a Sega Dreamcast.

00:01:48,109 --> 00:01:49,110

Together: Sega Dreamcast?

00:01:49,235 --> 00:01:50,444

All we need is teeth.

00:01:50,569 --> 00:01:51,862

I already lost

all my baby teeth.

00:01:51,987 --> 00:01:53,781

Me too.

00:01:53,906 --> 00:01:55,241

Mm-mm.

00:01:55,366 --> 00:01:56,575

You still have baby teeth,

Kenny?

00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,035

No way!

- Kenny, think about it.

00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:00,204

Don't you want a Sega Dreamcast?

00:02:00,329 --> 00:02:02,623

[mumbling angrily]

00:02:02,748 --> 00:02:03,999

Alright, Kenny's in,

you guys!

00:02:04,125 --> 00:02:05,000

Tits!

00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:07,294

[bell ringing]

00:02:07,419 --> 00:02:08,921

Okay, the string

is tied to Kenny's tooth.

00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:09,922

You ready over there?

00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:10,965

Almost.

00:02:11,090 --> 00:02:12,716

You ready, Timmy?

- Timmy!

00:02:12,842 --> 00:02:13,884

When I say go, you slam

00:02:14,009 --> 00:02:15,302

your electric wheelchair

into high gear.

00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:16,929

Okay, Timmy?

- Timmy!

00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:18,931

Right, you're Timmy.

- Timmy, labalayah!

00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:20,599

[muffled]

00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,101

I'll tell you why

it has to be you, Kenny.

00:02:22,226 --> 00:02:23,352

Because your family is poor

00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:24,812

and therefore has

bad oral hygiene,

00:02:24,937 --> 00:02:26,814

so your teeth are going to

fall out someday anyway.

00:02:26,939 --> 00:02:28,899

If you think about it, you

should actually be thanking us.

00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:30,401

"Oh, thank you guys."

00:02:30,526 --> 00:02:32,027

You're welcome, Kenny.

- [muffled] Fuck you!

00:02:32,153 --> 00:02:33,779

Alright, get ready, Timmy.

- Timmy!

00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:35,239

Hey guys, what are you doing?

00:02:35,364 --> 00:02:36,824

What does it look like

we're doing, Butters?

00:02:36,949 --> 00:02:38,450

We need a tooth,

so we're using

00:02:38,576 --> 00:02:40,077

Timmy's wheelchair

to pull out one of Kenny's.

00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:41,787

Oh, hey, I got

a loose tooth right here.

00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:43,122

Together: You what?

- [muffled] You what?

00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:44,665

Timmy!

- Yep.

00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:45,833

One of mine came out

not two hours ago.

00:02:45,958 --> 00:02:47,543

Uh, Butters, could we have it?

00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:49,503

Well, heck, no,

you can't have it.

00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:51,255

Why, I'm going to stick it

under my pillow

00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:52,506

and get money

from the Tooth Fairy.

00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:54,633

She gives me 50 cents a tooth.

00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:56,010

Well, I'll see you, fellas.

00:02:56,135 --> 00:02:57,303

Dude, maybe we

don't have to rip a tooth

00:02:57,428 --> 00:02:58,971

out of Kenny's mouth.

00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:00,389

Yeah, we just have to get

Butters' tooth.

00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:01,891

Whoo-hoo!

- How we gonna get it from him?

00:03:02,016 --> 00:03:03,475

I guess we'll have to

sneak into his house

00:03:03,601 --> 00:03:04,727

after he goes to sleep tonight.

00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:06,854

Yeah, let's go.

- Go, Timmy, go!

00:03:06,979 --> 00:03:08,522

Yaaah, Timmy!

00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:10,566

No, Timmy, wait!

- [yelling] Timmy!

00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,902

[muffled]

00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:15,237

Oof!

00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:17,072

[laughs]

00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:19,325

You guys, I can see

Kenny's little ping-a-ling.

00:03:19,450 --> 00:03:20,326

Waaah!

00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:32,922

Higher, you guys.

00:03:33,047 --> 00:03:35,341

Jesus Christ, why did we pick

the fat guy to lift up in there?

00:03:35,466 --> 00:03:38,427

Ah!

Careful, you assholes!

00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,262

To the left, you guys, left.

00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,556

No, camera left, camera left.

00:03:42,681 --> 00:03:44,475

That's it.

Now down.

00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:45,559

What the?

Who's there?

00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:46,685

Who is that?

00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:50,272

I am the Tooth Fairy,

my child.

00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,691

Oh, sorry, Miss Fairy,

I didn't mean to gaze at you.

00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:54,318

I'm back asleep now.

See?

00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:57,863

Yes, now I will leave you

tidings under your pillow.

00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:04,536

Oh, gosh, I didn't think

you'd be so fat.

00:04:04,662 --> 00:04:06,330

Hey!

- Come on, fat-ass.

00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:09,041

Do not open your eyes

until morning,

00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:12,253

or else I will

kick you in the nuts,

00:04:12,378 --> 00:04:14,046

square in the nuts.

00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:15,714

Yes, ma'am.

00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:16,715

Well?

00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,509

Bull's-eye.

00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:19,885

♪ Tucky-tucky time ♪

00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:22,221

♪ It's the best time

of the night ♪

00:04:22,346 --> 00:04:24,139

I love that song, Mom.

Sing it again.

00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:26,100

No, honey,

mommy's got to save her throat.

00:04:26,225 --> 00:04:27,476

I have to work tonight.

00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:30,437

Okay.

Good night.

00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:31,605

What do you have there, Eric?

00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:32,898

Another tooth fell out today.

00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:34,608

I'm leaving it

for the Tooth Fairy.

00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:37,403

Oh, my, the Tooth Fairy will

have to give you a big surprise

00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:39,154

for losing two teeth

in two days.

00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:40,197

I know, huh?

00:04:41,657 --> 00:04:42,491

You guys,

oh, my God, you guys!

00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:43,909

You're not going to believe it!

00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:45,244

It's beyond rational thought,

you guys!

00:04:45,369 --> 00:04:46,704

Holy crap, you guys!

00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:48,539

Did the tooth fairy come?

- $4.

00:04:48,664 --> 00:04:49,790

Oh, my God!

- Wow!

00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:51,083

Do you guys

know what this means?

00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:52,751

Yeah, we just

got to keep finding teeth

00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:53,794

and putting them

under your pillow.

00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:57,506

[phone rings]

Dentist's office.

00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:59,216

Oh, hello.

Dr. Roberts?

00:04:59,341 --> 00:05:00,592

It's Miss Cartman.

00:05:00,718 --> 00:05:02,594

Oh, yes, Miss Cartman,

what can I do for you?

00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:03,804

Well, it's my son.

00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:05,723

He's lost

a lot of his baby teeth,

00:05:05,848 --> 00:05:07,599

and I was starting

to get worried.

00:05:07,725 --> 00:05:10,394

Well, losing baby teeth is

a natural thing, Miss Cartman.

00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:11,687

How many has he lost?

00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,731

About 112.

00:05:15,107 --> 00:05:16,483

112?

00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,861

Yes.

15 of them in one night.

00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:21,030

Perhaps he should

switch toothpaste?

00:05:21,155 --> 00:05:24,533

Your son wouldn't happen to be

an alligator, would he?

00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,618

No?

Hmm, I see.

00:05:26,744 --> 00:05:28,287

Well, I'm afraid

I can't help you right now.

00:05:28,412 --> 00:05:30,956

The American Dental Association

Convention is this week.

00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:33,334

But as soon as I get back,

I'll look into it.

00:05:33,459 --> 00:05:34,376

Oh, thank you.

00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:35,544

Freebie next week!

00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:36,795

What?

00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:39,173

Ti--

00:05:39,298 --> 00:05:40,632

Tooth?

00:05:40,758 --> 00:05:41,800

What the hell?

00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:43,510

Mom!

- Yes, Eric?

00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:45,971

The stupid Tooth Fairy forgot

to bring me money last night.

00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:48,515

Call the police.

- Oh, Eric, poopie, sit down.

00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:50,017

Mommy has something to tell you.

00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:51,560

It's just that...

00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:55,230

Well, there is no Tooth Fairy,

Eric.

00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:57,274

I've been putting all that money

under your pillow.

00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:59,109

And because you've had

so many teeth fall out,

00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:00,944

I've actually run out of money

and can't go

00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:04,323

to the grocery store

for at least a month.

00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:05,699

[laughs]

00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:07,493

You almost had me

for a second there, Mom.

00:06:07,618 --> 00:06:08,952

There's no tooth fairy.

00:06:09,078 --> 00:06:10,329

I suppose

you're going to tell me

00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:12,748

there's no Santa Claus,

Easter Bunny, or Jesus either.

00:06:16,168 --> 00:06:17,294

Mom?

00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:18,754

I'm sorry, Eric.

00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,589

All children find out

sooner or later.

00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,591

You--you're serious here.

00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:23,592

There really is no Tooth Fairy?

00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,094

No, honey, it's just--

00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:26,804

How could--how could you

lie to me, Mother?

00:06:26,929 --> 00:06:28,263

Lie right to my face.

00:06:28,389 --> 00:06:30,682

Oh, Eric,

it's just part of being a child.

00:06:30,808 --> 00:06:32,059

How can I trust you?

00:06:32,184 --> 00:06:34,770

How can I trust anyone

ever again, Mother?

00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,855

I guess that to make it

in this life,

00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:39,483

I can only trust myself.

00:06:39,608 --> 00:06:41,610

Myself and Willikins Bear,

of course.

00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:42,945

Eric.

Eric, wait.

00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:44,822

No, Mother!

No more lies!

00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:51,412

Dude, where's the money?

- There is no money.

00:06:51,537 --> 00:06:52,621

No more money?

00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,123

What are you talking about,

Cartman?

00:06:54,248 --> 00:06:55,624

We're only $167 away

from getting a Sega.

00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,210

I know.

- Cartman, what's going on?

00:06:58,335 --> 00:07:00,712

You guys...

00:07:00,838 --> 00:07:02,214

Oh, God, I don't even

know how to tell you this.

00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:04,299

Tell us what?

00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:06,093

You guys, there's--there's

no Tooth Fairy, you guys.

00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:07,469

There, I said it.

00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,138

What do you mean

there's no Tooth Fairy?

00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:11,014

My mom's been giving us

the money all this time.

00:07:11,140 --> 00:07:12,724

And your parents are the ones

who left you money.

00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:14,435

Dude.

- That can't be.

00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:15,894

My parents wouldn't lie to me.

00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,354

But now my mom's

given us so much money

00:07:17,479 --> 00:07:19,440

that she's bankrupt,

and we're poor like Kenny.

00:07:19,565 --> 00:07:20,858

Don't touch me, Kenny.

- You're wrong!

00:07:20,983 --> 00:07:22,526

If my dad says

something is real,

00:07:22,651 --> 00:07:23,527

then it's real.

00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:25,279

Kyle, open your eyes, man.

00:07:25,404 --> 00:07:26,864

It's not true!

00:07:29,575 --> 00:07:30,742

Oh, hello, son.

00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:32,202

Dad, there is so

a Tooth Fairy, huh?

00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:33,829

What?

Oh.

00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,414

Kyle, let's have a little talk.

00:07:35,539 --> 00:07:37,374

Oh my god, you did lie to me!

00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:39,501

No, Kyle,

she's just make-believe,

00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,044

like Peter Pan.

00:07:41,170 --> 00:07:42,254

Peter Pan too?

00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:44,590

Kyle--

what about Moses and Abraham?

00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:46,008

Well, they were probably real.

00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:47,634

Probably?

Is Atlantis real?

00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:49,011

Probably not.

[screams]

00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:50,471

But, Kyle,

adults make up those things

00:07:50,596 --> 00:07:51,972

because they're fun

for children.

00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:53,307

Fun for children?

Fun for children?

00:07:53,432 --> 00:07:54,975

Look at me, dad.

00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,810

I don't even know

what's real anymore, yaaahhh!

00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:03,108

Man, I can't believe

all our parents

00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:05,068

lied to us

about the Tooth Fairy.

00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:06,945

What about Dan Rather?

Do you think he's real?

00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:08,655

No, man.

That's just a TV show.

00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,365

You guys, you guys,

I figured it out!

00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:11,867

What, that your parents

lied to you too?

00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:13,035

Yeah, but it's okay.

00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:14,286

We can still get

our Sega Dreamcast.

00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:15,662

How?

00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:17,456

Look, the Tooth Fairy

is all made up, right?

00:08:17,581 --> 00:08:19,249

All made up, not real.

Nothing's real.

00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:21,877

So all we have to do is go

to a really rich kid's house,

00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,587

put our tooth under his pillow,

00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:25,547

wait for his parents to leave

him a whole butt load of money,

00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:26,965

and then sneak back in

and take it.

00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,008

Whoo-hoo!

00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:29,176

The kid'll never even know.

00:08:29,301 --> 00:08:30,719

Oh, dude, that is tits!

00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,721

I mean, that is

big fat Oprah tits right there!

00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:33,847

Oh my God,

what if I'm not real?

00:08:33,972 --> 00:08:35,224

We can take the bus

to the city.

00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:36,600

There's super-rich people

down there.

00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:37,601

Yeah!

00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:38,644

I mean, what if I'm just

00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:39,728

part of my parents' reality?

00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,230

Come on, Kyle.

00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:42,439

What if this is all

just somebody's dream?

00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:51,823

Wow, look at the size

of these houses.

00:08:51,949 --> 00:08:53,867

Told you, dude, Cherry Creek

is the richest part of Denver.

00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:55,744

I'll bet these kids get

at least ten bucks a tooth

00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:56,828

from the "Tooth Fairy."

00:08:56,954 --> 00:08:58,163

Hey, that house looks perfect.

00:08:58,288 --> 00:08:59,706

There's obviously kids

living there.

00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:01,333

Here, you can tell

this is the kid's window

00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:02,668

'cause it's got

Mega Man stickers on it.

00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:03,961

Cartman, once you're in

the kid's room,

00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:05,671

leave the tooth under

the pillow, then come back out.

00:09:05,796 --> 00:09:07,256

We'll wait for the parents

to see it and leave money,

00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:08,632

then swing you back

in the house to grab it.

00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:10,050

Got it.

00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:11,635

This is the smartest

business venture ever.

00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:17,307

What the?

00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:19,184

Hey, what the hell

are you guys doing?

00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:21,019

We're gonna sneak a tooth

under this rich kid's pillow,

00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:22,896

then come back and collect

the Tooth Fairy money

00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:25,357

that his parents leave him.

00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:26,942

Hey, you can't do that.

- Why not?

00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,443

Because

that's what we're doing.

00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:29,695

Yeah, you ripped off our idea.

00:09:29,820 --> 00:09:31,029

What the hell

are you talking about?

00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:32,864

We've been doing this

for over two years.

00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:35,033

Two years?

- Nice tooth fairy costume.

00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:36,660

You think

anybody'd believe you in that?

00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:38,120

It's better than your dress.

00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:39,746

You look like a bad

Jennifer Lopez nightmare.

00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:42,416

How dare you!

00:09:42,541 --> 00:09:44,042

Look, this is our turf.

00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:46,211

You better scram before the boss

breaks your legs.

00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:47,588

You scram.

We were here first.

00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:48,672

What's going on?

00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:50,299

Oh, it's the Tooth Fairies.

00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:51,592

Oh, nice going.

Now you woke him up.

00:09:51,717 --> 00:09:53,051

You woke him up.

00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:54,595

I don't have any loose teeth,

Miss Fairies,

00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:55,929

but I have been a very good boy.

00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:57,514

All: Shut up!

- Alright, that does it.

00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:58,807

Come on,

we're going to see the boss.

00:09:58,932 --> 00:09:59,933

Who's the boss?

00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:00,684

Loogie.

00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:04,354

My associates here tell me

00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:05,731

you were working Cherry Creek

tonight.

00:10:05,856 --> 00:10:07,357

Is that true?

- Uh, yeah.

00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:08,984

Right on our turf, boss.

00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,235

I ain't never seen

that kind of disre--

00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,903

We were there first!

00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:13,238

Kids have been doing

the Tooth Fairy racket

00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:14,781

in this town for years.

00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:16,533

I do it just like

my big brother before me

00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:17,909

and my oldest brother

before that.

00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:19,661

Damn it, and we thought

we were so original.

00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:21,455

Let me ask you something.

00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:23,624

You were gonna sneak a tooth

under this rich kid's pillow.

00:10:23,749 --> 00:10:25,792

Then what?

- What do you mean?

00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:27,252

How are

the kid's parents gonna know

00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:29,755

there was a tooth

under their child's pillow?

00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,340

Ha!

00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:33,258

You guys don't even know

how the tooth trade works.

00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:34,718

What's a tooth trade?

00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:36,345

Look, any schmuck

can sneak through a window

00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:37,554

wearing a pretty dress.

00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:39,473

The tooth racket

is much more involved.

00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:41,350

We keep careful track

of what houses we've hit

00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:42,684

so that we don't hit

the same one twice

00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,102

in less than two months.

00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:45,562

Inside the house,

we not only have to sneak

00:10:45,687 --> 00:10:46,772

a tooth under the pillow,

00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:48,815

but leave a note

for Mom and Dad to see.

00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:50,567

This is how

we let the parents know

00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:53,028

to leave money under the pillow.

00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,946

Once the notes have been placed

in the last house,

00:10:55,072 --> 00:10:57,366

we start all over,

going back to the first house.

00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:59,076

But this time,

all we have to do

00:10:59,201 --> 00:11:00,827

is collect money.

00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:02,913

And the kids

never know what hit them.

00:11:03,038 --> 00:11:04,289

Together: Wow.

00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:05,874

The hardest part

is getting teeth.

00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,334

We try various places:

00:11:07,459 --> 00:11:08,794

cemeteries,

00:11:08,919 --> 00:11:11,421

hockey games,

00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:13,423

anywhere we can find them.

00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:14,800

No!

00:11:14,925 --> 00:11:16,176

The teeth we do manage

to acquire

00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:18,679

are then sorted according

to size, color, and quality.

00:11:18,804 --> 00:11:20,097

But there's never enough teeth.

00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:21,932

Never enough.

00:11:22,057 --> 00:11:23,183

Amazing.

00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:24,726

Man, that is tits!

00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:27,020

And now my only problem is,

00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:29,690

what do I do with you?

00:11:29,815 --> 00:11:30,816

[growls]

00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:32,192

Tell you what,

how would you like

00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:33,902

to run the South Park

tooth racket for me?

00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,987

Oh.

I don't know.

00:11:36,113 --> 00:11:38,198

It's that, or else

I can cut off your penises.

00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:40,367

Hmm,

work for you?

00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:41,993

Have my penis cut off?

00:11:42,119 --> 00:11:43,995

Work for you?

Have my penis cut off?

00:11:44,121 --> 00:11:45,330

Let's see.

- Cartman!

00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:46,748

How much do we get

if we work for you?

00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:48,208

I'll cut you in at 2%.

00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:50,085

2%?

00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:51,336

Have my penis cut off?

2%--

00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:52,337

We're in.

00:11:54,172 --> 00:11:56,425

Fellow dentists,

as you all know,

00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:58,552

we are still having numerous

reports of missing teeth

00:11:58,677 --> 00:12:00,137

from all over the country.

00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:03,223

There are also reports

of missing Tooth Fairy money.

00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:06,768

We believe that there can be

only one logical reason

00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,770

for all of this.

00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:13,275

A giant half-chicken,

half-squirrel

00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,110

that steals

either teeth or money

00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,112

from children as they sleep

in order to build

00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:20,198

some kind of giant nest

for its genetically superior

00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:22,200

and potentially dangerous

offspring.

00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:24,703

We believe also that this

creature would have at least

00:12:24,828 --> 00:12:26,747

a mild understanding of algebra

00:12:26,872 --> 00:12:28,290

and that it--

00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:33,211

Uh, excuse me, I think

I have a more logical theory.

00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:35,380

Well--well,

by all means, Mr. Foley,

00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:36,590

enlighten us.

00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:37,883

I think what we've got here

00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:40,177

is some kind of

black market tooth racket,

00:12:40,302 --> 00:12:42,262

something where one group

is stealing the money and teeth

00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:44,681

from another group for a profit.

00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:48,560

[all laughing]

00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:51,813

Oh, Mr. Foley, you realize

how ridiculous that sounds.

00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:52,898

It's not ridiculous.

00:12:53,023 --> 00:12:53,940

It's very possible.

00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:55,233

I've seen it happen before.

00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:56,985

Where?

In Montreal.

00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,988

[all laughing]

00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,324

And where, pray, is this

00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:03,867

Montreal?

00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:05,535

Look, I know

how to handle this.

00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:07,245

All we have to do

is bring down the kingpin,

00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:08,371

and the rest will fall.

00:13:08,497 --> 00:13:09,956

You'll see.

00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:11,708

I'll have it taken care of

in a matter of weeks.

00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:13,877

Very well, Mr. Foley,

00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:16,505

you go on your wild goose chase.

00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:19,591

And meanwhile, we'll deal

with the real problems at hand.

00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:22,344

I will.

00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:23,178

[chuckles]

00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,429

Anyway...

00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:25,931

The half-chicken, half-squirrel

00:13:26,056 --> 00:13:28,391

would most likely be

about 3 to 4 1/2 feet tall.

00:13:28,517 --> 00:13:30,519

His large beak

is probably detachable,

00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:31,686

and works as a flotation device.

00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:35,357

[school bell rings]

00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:41,613

[funky music]

00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:42,989

♪♪

00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:44,407

Hello there, children.

00:13:44,533 --> 00:13:45,659

Together: Hey, Chef.

00:13:45,784 --> 00:13:46,910

We all want

double desserts today.

00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:48,495

Oh, well, I'm afraid

00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:50,455

that the school charges extra

for that.

00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:52,415

Yeah, well,

that ain't nothin' but a thang.

00:13:52,541 --> 00:13:53,750

Oh, my God.

00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:56,044

There's got to be

at least $15 here.

00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,587

That's right.

Keep the change, my man.

00:13:57,712 --> 00:14:00,340

Well, look at

you cute little crackers,

00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:02,676

with your money

and your fancy clothes

00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:04,094

and your cell phones.

00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:05,720

It's almost like you are--

00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:07,138

Oh my God!

00:14:07,264 --> 00:14:09,182

Children, what have I

told you about drugs?

00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:11,184

Together: That there's a time

and a place for everything

00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:12,185

and it's called college.

00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:13,770

That's right.

00:14:13,895 --> 00:14:15,272

And the only thing worse

than doing drugs

00:14:15,397 --> 00:14:16,857

is dealing drugs.

00:14:16,982 --> 00:14:18,441

I'm going to tell you about

when I was your age

00:14:18,567 --> 00:14:20,318

and got offered drugs.

00:14:22,571 --> 00:14:24,364

Ooh, come on, now.

- Hey, kid.

00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:26,241

You want to try some dope?

- What?

00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,243

Come on, kid,

don't you want to get high?

00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,786

Hey, man, I don't need dope.

00:14:29,911 --> 00:14:31,329

Let me sing you a little song.

00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:33,456

♪ I can't wait until I grow up ♪

00:14:33,582 --> 00:14:35,375

♪ And my weenie

gets big and strong ♪

00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,168

♪ 'cause when it does,

I'm gonna bust ♪

00:14:37,294 --> 00:14:39,379

♪ And make love to you,

Amanda, all night long ♪

00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:42,507

♪ I'm gonna make love to you,

Amanda, in about ten years ♪

00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:44,259

What the hell

is he talking about?

00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,011

♪ And this toothpick

is gonna turn into an oak tree ♪

00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:47,262

Uh, Chef?

00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,430

♪ I'm gonna knock you down ♪

00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,098

Chef.

- ♪ And knock you all around ♪

00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:51,141

Chef!

- Huh?

00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:52,309

We're not dealing drugs.

00:14:52,434 --> 00:14:53,852

You're not?

- No.

00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:55,979

Oh, well, children,

whatever you're doing,

00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:57,188

just remember this:

00:14:57,314 --> 00:14:59,524

having money may seem fun, but--

00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:03,236

Oh, never mind.

00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:04,487

Together: Thanks, Chef.

- See ya.

00:15:04,613 --> 00:15:06,448

Damn,

that little Amanda was fine.

00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:08,491

I got to look her up.

00:15:08,617 --> 00:15:10,327

Dude,

having this much money is great.

00:15:10,452 --> 00:15:11,745

Working for Loogie rules.

00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:14,164

Yeah, but you know,

why do we need Loogie?

00:15:14,289 --> 00:15:15,749

We know how the trade works.

00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:17,876

Why don't we do it ourselves

and keep all the profit?

00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:19,920

We can't do that, dude;

Loogie will kick our asses.

00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:21,880

Oh, what the hell is that

little Polack gonna do, huh?

00:15:22,005 --> 00:15:25,342

Come on, you guys, I say we

create our own mob crime family.

00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:26,718

Dude, this book says

there could be

00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:29,012

infinite alternate realities

to every reality.

00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:30,013

Shut up, Kyle.

00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,225

[nasally voice] They're what?

They're not gonna pay me?

00:15:34,351 --> 00:15:35,477

Who the hell

do they think they are?

00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:37,145

I want

those South Park kids dead.

00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,521

I want their families dead.

00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:40,106

I want their houses

burned to the ground.

00:15:40,231 --> 00:15:41,858

[high-pitched voice]

Oh, hi, there, mister.

00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:43,902

My mommy and daddy are out front

if you need them.

00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:45,362

Let's cut the crap, kid.

00:15:45,487 --> 00:15:46,780

My name is Tom Foley.

00:15:46,905 --> 00:15:49,658

I'm with

the American Dental Association.

00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:51,159

[nasally voice]

Sit down, Mr. Foley.

00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:52,243

You want some spaghetti?

00:15:52,369 --> 00:15:53,244

No, thanks.

00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:55,246

I just brushed.

00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:57,666

I just wanted to let you know

that I'm on to you.

00:15:57,791 --> 00:15:58,959

I told the A.D.A.

a thousand times.

00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:00,043

I know nothing about teeth.

00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:01,378

I'm just an eight-year-old boy

00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:03,213

who likes climbing trees

and playing in puddles.

00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:05,173

I am going to find out

who the boss is.

00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,217

And when I do,

I'm going to bust his ass

00:16:07,342 --> 00:16:10,261

and everyone's ass

who helped hide his ass.

00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:17,435

So you've brought me

400 pounds of teeth from China?

00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,479

That's right, yeah;

it's all top-grade stuff too.

00:16:19,604 --> 00:16:21,731

These Chinese kids are selling

their teeth for peanuts, see?

00:16:21,856 --> 00:16:23,149

How much?

00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:24,359

Well, Tang Lee wants 30,

00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,695

but I can cut you a deal

for 28, yeah?

00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:27,862

What do you say, huh?

00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:29,114

Can I ask you a question,

Weasel?

00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:31,157

Well--well--well, sure, sure.

00:16:31,282 --> 00:16:32,492

Do you think I'm an idiot?

00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:33,868

Huh?

00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:35,412

These are cat teeth,

you son of a bitch!

00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:37,372

You trying to sell me

400 pounds of cat teeth?

00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:38,665

Get out of my sight!

[yells]

00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:40,125

Lousy little scum.

00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:41,126

[phone rings]

What?

00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:42,460

This is your last chance, kid.

00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:44,004

Either you

give the boss his cut,

00:16:44,129 --> 00:16:45,714

or else we're gonna throw

your pal into the river

00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:46,840

wearing concrete galoshes.

00:16:46,965 --> 00:16:48,258

I ain't giving you crap.

00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:50,260

Kenny's not afraid of you.

00:16:50,385 --> 00:16:51,720

Oh my god,

this book says

00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:53,221

that negative and positive

are the same thing,

00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,889

that real and not real are one.

00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:56,182

He's not gonna do it?

00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:57,308

[muffled]

He's not gonna do it?

00:16:57,434 --> 00:16:58,393

He's not gonna do it, boss.

00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,395

Well, then, throw him in.

00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,814

All right, kid, time to die.

00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:04,733

[muffled]

00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:10,905

Oh, man,

how deep is the Platte River?

00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:12,323

To which Ms. Clinton replied,

00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,159

"I don't even like vagina."

00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:15,910

Finally tonight,

a human interest story.

00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:17,328

Dan Akawa is live.

00:17:17,454 --> 00:17:18,872

Thanks, Tom.

00:17:18,997 --> 00:17:21,041

I'm here at the house

of little Billy Circlovich.

00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:23,376

Billy is in desperate need

of a bone marrow transplant,

00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:24,878

or he will most certainly die.

00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:27,964

Billy, how much more money

do you need for the transplant?

00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:29,466

[quietly] $600--

00:17:29,591 --> 00:17:30,550

Louder, Billy,

we can't hear you!

00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:32,218

$600.

- Wow, that's a lot of money.

00:17:32,343 --> 00:17:33,803

How the hell

are you gonna get all that

00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:35,055

in the short amount of time

you have left?

00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:36,973

I don't know.

00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:39,017

Well, Billy, I also understand

that you lost a tooth today.

00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:40,602

Billy, we want you

to put that tooth

00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:42,062

under your pillow tonight,

00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:43,980

because we have a feeling

that the Tooth Fairy

00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:45,148

is going to leave you

00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:47,358

$600 for it.

00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:48,068

Really?

- Really?

00:17:48,193 --> 00:17:50,403

Yes, really, $600.

00:17:50,528 --> 00:17:52,072

I might also mention

that Billy lives

00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:54,240

in Crestview Apartments just off

Arapaho Road on Emporia Street.

00:17:54,365 --> 00:17:55,950

Back to you, Tom.

00:17:56,076 --> 00:17:57,535

How was that?

00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:59,537

Perfect.

The trap is set.

00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:01,247

Oh, come on,

you really think anyone

00:18:01,372 --> 00:18:02,999

will fall for something

that stupid?

00:18:03,124 --> 00:18:04,834

$600, you guys!

00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:06,252

Come on,

get your stuff together.

00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:07,712

This is gonna be tits!

00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:09,005

Dude, this book says

that I don't exist

00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:10,715

unless I think I do,

but what if I don't?

00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,217

Will somebody

take those books away from him?

00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:17,722

Be sure to put

your loose tooth

00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:18,973

under your pillow, Billy.

00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:19,974

Okay, Mom.

00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,852

[periscope whirrs]

00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:26,147

Thank you for helping,

gentlemen.

00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:27,524

If this sting operation works,

00:18:27,649 --> 00:18:29,109

some bogus tooth fairy

should be showing up

00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:30,318

to take the sick kid's money.

00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:31,653

When they touch

the kid's pillow,

00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,071

an alarm will sound.

00:18:33,196 --> 00:18:34,531

And that's when

you hit the button, Murphy,

00:18:34,656 --> 00:18:35,782

and activate the lights.

00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:37,158

Everybody got it?

- Together: Got it.

00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:39,994

Duh, which button

do I hit again, boss?

00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,412

[chuckles]

Just kidding.

00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:42,956

You know how there's always

the dumb guy

00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:44,207

in sting operations

in the movies?

00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:45,750

I was just--you know,

I was just acting--

00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:48,253

I just like--yeah--oh.

00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:49,712

Hurry up, you guys;

we got to get

00:18:49,838 --> 00:18:51,714

that sick kid's Tooth Fairy

money before Loogie does.

00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:53,133

I can't deal with it, Stan.

00:18:53,258 --> 00:18:54,467

I mean, all this stuff

I've been reading,

00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:55,718

I really don't think I exist.

00:18:55,844 --> 00:18:57,303

Dude,

just stop thinking about it.

00:18:57,428 --> 00:18:59,055

But I can't, because what if

thinking about it

00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:01,099

is the only thing keeping

my space-time together?

00:19:01,224 --> 00:19:02,350

Help!

Hey, you guys, over here!

00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,352

Sometimes I think I can see

time slowing down

00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:05,436

and my own existence fading.

00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:08,398

Good night, Mom.

Good night, Dad.

00:19:08,523 --> 00:19:11,985

Alright,

everyone keep your eyes peeled.

00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:13,153

I'm going to bed now, Mommy.

00:19:13,278 --> 00:19:14,445

I put my tooth under the pillow.

00:19:14,571 --> 00:19:15,947

Do you really think

the Tooth Fairy

00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:17,365

will give me money

for the transplant?

00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:18,950

I think so, Billy.

I think so.

00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:20,577

I can't wait to feel healthy

and strong again.

00:19:20,702 --> 00:19:22,412

Yeah, well,

you're gonna have to wait

00:19:22,537 --> 00:19:24,497

a little bit longer, Billy,

'cause that 600 bucks is mine.

00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:26,291

Light is a wave

unless it's observed.

00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:29,377

That means all matter

is just a wave.

00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:30,670

Nothing's real.

00:19:30,795 --> 00:19:34,465

Reality and--oh, God,

it's happening!

00:19:34,591 --> 00:19:35,967

Kyle?

00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:38,845

Hey, something strange

is happening with the computers.

00:19:38,970 --> 00:19:41,848

Well, well, well,

what do we have here?

00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:43,766

Oh, shit.

00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:46,060

Did you bastards really think

you could hide from me forever?

00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:49,022

Klosky, put this butt wipe

out of his misery.

00:19:49,147 --> 00:19:50,732

I got it.

The Tooth Fairy!

00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:51,774

[alarm sounds]

00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:53,735

Let's move out!

00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:54,736

Well, crap.

00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:55,778

Give it up, kids.

00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:57,030

You're surrounded by dentists.

00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:58,615

It was a trap.

- That's right.

00:19:58,740 --> 00:20:00,783

And now it's all exposed.

You're through.

00:20:00,909 --> 00:20:01,951

The only thing left to do

00:20:02,076 --> 00:20:03,703

is haul all you kids

down to prison.

00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:05,121

This is reality.

00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:08,124

I am everywhere and nowhere.

00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:09,209

What the hell?

00:20:09,334 --> 00:20:10,210

Kyle?

00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:11,586

I am nothing

00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,671

and everything.

00:20:13,796 --> 00:20:17,634

[all screaming]

00:20:17,759 --> 00:20:20,595

[funky rock music]

00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:24,098

♪♪

00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:25,934

[roars]

00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:27,227

Aha!

I told you.

00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:30,855

[kids screaming]

00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:32,023

Let's get out of here!

00:20:38,321 --> 00:20:40,490

Huh.

That was pretty weird.

00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:42,116

Jesus!

00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:43,451

The little sick kid

was a setup all along.

00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:45,536

How could I be so stupid?

- What?

00:20:45,662 --> 00:20:47,247

I can't believe I fell for

such an obvious trap.

00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:48,623

What the hell's wrong with me?

00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:51,417

Well,

don't take it too hard, dude.

00:20:51,542 --> 00:20:52,752

That's what grown-ups do;

they lie.

00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:54,629

Lie right to your face.

00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,089

Oh, well, maybe it's good

my empire has fallen.

00:20:56,214 --> 00:20:57,090

Really?

- Yeah.

00:20:57,215 --> 00:20:58,466

I kind of wanted to play on

00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:00,176

the flag football team

this year, anyways.

00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:02,053

So you're

not going to hurt us or nothing?

00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:04,222

No, in a way, I'm just glad

the whole thing's over with.

00:21:04,347 --> 00:21:06,266

Yeah, but you know,

I've learned something today.

00:21:06,391 --> 00:21:07,976

You see,

the basis of all reasoning

00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:09,227

is the mind's awareness

of itself.

00:21:09,352 --> 00:21:10,395

What we think,

00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:12,063

the external objects

we perceive,

00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:14,399

are all like actors

that come on and offstage.

00:21:14,524 --> 00:21:16,484

But our consciousness,

the stage itself,

00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:18,194

is always present to us.

00:21:20,488 --> 00:21:21,614

Tits.

00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:27,161

[grunts]

00:21:29,706 --> 00:21:30,331

[grunts]

00:21:50,101 --> 00:21:52,061

[screaming and gurgling]

00:21:55,606 --> 00:21:56,232

Timmy!