Кошмарный Марвин в космосе

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Approaching Marklar.

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Proceed with Marklar

and make first contact.

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Marklar!

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Greetings, Marklars!

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I am Marklar!

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I come in Marklar!

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Oh, Marklar!

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Arrrrrgghh!

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Hello everyone,

I am Sister Hollis!

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I was chosen for my mission work

to come here to Africa

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and teach you all about

the teachings of Jesus!

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Okay, then, do we have our Bibles

that were handed out freely?

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No, no, no!

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We don't

eat the Bibles,

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we read them!

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Now, let's turn to

Mark 3:19!

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Come on,

remember--

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reading Bible plus

accepting Jesus

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equals food!

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Good!

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Now who can read

Mark 3:19?

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How about, Marvin!

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No, Marvin,

in God's language--

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English.

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Where are you going,

back to your life of sin?!

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Don't you understand

that unless you find Christ,

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you and all your people

are doomed to eternal hellfire?

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Aaagghh!

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Waaagghgh!

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...And so, children, that's why

Hare Krishnas are totally gay.

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Uhh, can I help you?

00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:22,745

Yes, I'm Conley,

and this is Finks.

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We're with the CIA.

00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:26,665

We're here to speak with

some of your students.

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You, you, you and you.

00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:32,129

Oh for Pete's sake, what have

you bastards done now?

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Ay, that was Kyle that went

number two in the urinal!

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No it wasn't,

fat ass!

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I saw you do it!

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Boys, we need to

talk to you

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about a matter of

national security, now!

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I hope you

give 'em the chair!

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Anyway, children,

as I was saying,

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the Hare Krishnas

are totally gay...

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Oh dude,

this is not good.

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Relax, fat ass.

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No dude, I've

seen this on TV.

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They shine that

light in your face

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and then try to get you

to tell them stuff

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by squeezing your balls

really hard!

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What?!

00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:04,203

Dude, I've seen it!

00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:04,954

They grab your balls with

their leather-gloved hands

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and squeeze as hard

as they can

00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:07,581

until they pop

like little grapes!

00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:09,124

Ow, dude!

00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:11,043

Start with Kenny! Start with Kenny!

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Relax, boys, we just

need to talk with you.

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I told you,

fat ass.

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Approximately 31 hours ago,

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an ethnic-looking child

was spotted flying

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some kind of state-of-the-art

aircraft over Chinese airspace.

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Whoa, cool!

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Cool?

00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:24,890

The craft appears to have

enough plutonium fuel aboard

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to blow up a large city.

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Do you think

that's 'cool'?!

00:04:27,643 --> 00:04:29,353

Totally!

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Alright children, we just

need to know one thing:

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do you know...

this person?

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Hey, that's

Starvin' Marvin!

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Shh!

- Who?

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You dumbass, Cartman!

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Now they're gonna go

squeeze his balls!

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Oh... we

don't know him.

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We already know

you know him.

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We have this!

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Now, who is he!?

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Kyle's making mud pies,

you guys want one?

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This is getting us nowhere.

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We'll have to resort to

more drastic measures.

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But they're just kids,

we can't torture them!

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Look, we don't know what

that craft is capable of

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but the kid is going to have

to land it somewhere.

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God only knows what sadistic,

backwards third-world country

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could get their hands

on that ship!

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♪ Soaring so high

above the world ♪

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♪ Never thought

I could be so free ♪

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♪ I'm one with the birds

and magic is all I see-- ♪♪

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Oi, look up there!

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It's a UFO!

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Oi, that's one

creeeepy alien.

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Talk to him, mayor!

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Great and noble

alien creature,

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as mayor of the

fine planet of Australia

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I welcome you to our fine...

planet of Australia.

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Chippy, chip!

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Choorah!

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Look out,

he's got a gun!

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Aaaghgh!

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Wait, it's

not a gun!

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It's a piece

a pay-pa!

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Oh.

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Oh, I think he's

trying to tell us that

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he wants to relocate all his

species here to Australia!

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Well, you certainly

are welcome here, alien.

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In fact, there's

a mission right over there

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that will take all

of your people in!

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Hello!

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Guess the little pecker

doesn't like missionaries.

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Now, I'll

ask you again...

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Who is the little boy

that took our ship?

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We... we don't know...

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Aaaagaghgh!

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Aaaagghgh!

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Who is this person?!

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K-kill me...

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Do it again!

00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:34,269

Aaaghghgh!

00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:35,938

No, wait...

I'll-I'll tell you.

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He's... he's a little

starving Ethiopian kid...

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We adopted him.

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Cartman!

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Adopted from who?!

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Sally...

Sally Struthers...

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The lady on TV...

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She knows everything...

Sally Struthers.

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Sally Struthers!

Where can we find her?

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I know exactly where

Sally Struthers is!

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Let them go.

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Good job,

fat ass!

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Dude, I couldn't

take that balloon.

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Another couple hours of that

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and I would have been

totally pissed off.

00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:57,793

Whatever, let's go see

what's on TV.

00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:04,925

Gentlemen, Ms. Struthers

can see you now.

00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:08,053

Now I'm warning you, Bill,

Sally Struthers is a bit heavy.

00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:09,930

But don't say anything because

she's pretty sensitive.

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Oh I would never

say anything.

00:07:11,682 --> 00:07:13,934

I saw some show where they made

fun of Sally Struthers' weight

00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,769

and I thought it was

totally cruel.

00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:17,187

I mean, she helps people,

you know?

00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:19,565

Ah, Mrs. Struthers...

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Ho, ho, ho, ho...

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Ms. Struthers, we understand

you have helped raise

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millions of dollars to help

starving children in Ethiopia.

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We need information

on one of the Ethiopians.

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You must tell us everything

you know about him.

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Doh ba-kin?

00:07:42,171 --> 00:07:44,631

His name is

Starving Marvin.

00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:55,017

Why yes, it is a

"Chocolate Yum Yum Bar",

Ms. Struthers...

00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:58,812

And there are several more

where that came from.

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Of course, if you don't want to

tell us about the Ethiopian

boy...

00:08:02,858 --> 00:08:04,860

Mo naka!

00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,988

I'm glad we can

do business...

00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:12,659

Come on dude, there's

gotta be something about

00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:13,994

Starvin' Marvin

in the news.

00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:15,412

Well, I can't find anything.

Wait what's this?

00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:17,831

God wants you

to send us money.

00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:20,501

He needs you to send us money

so we can help others...

00:08:20,626 --> 00:08:22,044

Oh, my God,

this guy again.

00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:23,420

Why would anybody send

this asshole money?

00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:24,755

Mpphmprph mrph mrph.

00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:28,258

Holy shit!

00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:30,427

Whoa!

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Aw! Awww!

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Oh, weak!

00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:37,601

Starvin' Marvin!

00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:38,852

He did take a ship!

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Well nice job, Marvin.

I hope you got

00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:42,272

about a thousand dollars

to pay for my house!

00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:45,108

Dude, you're gonna get busted

for taking this thing.

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I think he wants us

to get in!

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Kick ass!

00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:49,988

Wow, this thing

is awesome!

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Let's go somewhere!

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♪ Soaring so high

above the world ♪

00:08:56,912 --> 00:09:00,707

♪ Never thought

I could be so free ♪

00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:04,378

♪ I'm one with the birds

and magic is all I see ♪

00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:05,921

This is great!

00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,631

Yeah, but where is that

crappy song coming from?

00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,132

Can we turn that off?

00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:12,094

Yeah, that's better.

00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,682

Hello, how are we

doing today?

00:09:16,807 --> 00:09:18,600

Look what I got

for you--

00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:21,728

No, it's not food,

it's a cross!

00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:24,481

And it has your new Christian

name printed on it.

00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:26,233

From now on,

you are "Michael."

00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:27,943

Can you say

"Michael"?

00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,320

Click?

00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:33,073

Miiii-chael.

00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:34,241

Click.

00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:36,535

Oh, well,

you'll get it.

00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:40,872

Hello, brother David, do you

have any sins to confess?

00:09:40,998 --> 00:09:42,874

Anybody?

Sins to confess?

00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,585

Joshua?

00:09:44,710 --> 00:09:47,921

You know, today I am reminded of

psalm 46, line 39.

00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:49,464

"though the

mountains shake and--"

00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:51,258

Here they are!

- Who are you?

00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:53,051

We're with the

American government!

00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:55,554

Sally Struthers told us where

we'd find Marvin's parents!

00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:58,348

Hello there, Mr. and Mrs.

Click Click Derk!

00:09:58,473 --> 00:10:00,392

I think you know

why we're here!

00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:06,982

No dude, you don't want to

bring your people to Mexico.

00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,859

There's missionaries

there, too.

00:10:08,984 --> 00:10:10,736

No way, not Utah!

00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:12,362

Utah's nothing but

missionaries!

00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,615

Dude, it looks like he's

tried everywhere in the world.

00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:15,365

Well he hasn't

been... here yet.

00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:17,576

Where's this?

00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:19,995

Wwwaaaaaghghgh!

00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,580

What the hell

did you hit, Cartman?!

00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:23,832

Oh, my God, what the hell

is that thing?!

00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:27,753

Aaaaggghhhh!

00:10:30,005 --> 00:10:32,424

Aaaaggghhhh!

00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:39,097

Where are we?

00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:46,229

We're on, like,

some foreign planet.

00:10:46,355 --> 00:10:47,648

This place is rad!

00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:49,524

Look at all the trees

and stuff!

00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,825

Greetings,

welcome, to Marklar.

00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:00,327

Uh, thanks.

00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:03,372

I am Marklar,

leader of the Marklar.

00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:04,915

Uh, cool.

My name is Stan,

00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,500

and, uh,

I'm the leader of Earth.

00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:08,043

Marklar to you.

00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,753

Cool!

- Ay, I'm the leader of earth!

00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:11,463

Screw you, Cartman,

I called leader first.

00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:12,964

Well, you can call leader

till your ass bleeds,

00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:13,715

but it doesn't

make it true!

00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:24,142

We are very thankful to you for

bringing our Marklar back to us.

00:11:24,267 --> 00:11:26,478

Wait, I thought you called

your planet Marklar.

00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:31,108

Oh, here on Marklar, we refer to

all people, places and things

as Marklar.

00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:32,818

Well, our friend Marvin

and all his people

00:11:32,943 --> 00:11:34,486

have to live on a part

of Earth that sucks ass.

00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:35,862

They can't grow food

or nothing.

00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:37,239

Yeah, so it would be really

cool if you would let

00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:38,782

Marvin and all his people

come live here.

00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:41,576

Well, there is a lot

of room on Marklar.

00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:44,496

If Marklar here wants to

bring his Marklar to Marklar,

00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:45,706

that would be fine.

00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:47,791

Just take our Marklar

back to Marklar

00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:49,376

and bring all the

Marklar back with you.

00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:50,877

Uh... Thanks.

00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:56,842

Let's go through this

one more time Mr. and Mrs.

Click Click Derk!

00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,927

Your son Marvin

has a ship that we want.

00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,096

How can we get it

from him?

00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:02,556

We are the CIA!

00:12:02,681 --> 00:12:04,307

That ship needs

to be with us!

00:12:04,433 --> 00:12:06,351

Maybe we should just take

something precious of yours!

00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:08,186

Huh?!

00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:09,730

A-ha! This!

00:12:09,855 --> 00:12:11,314

This... gourd-thingy,

for instance!

00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:12,899

How do you like that, huh?!

00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:15,068

If you ever want to see this...

little thingy again,

00:12:15,193 --> 00:12:17,279

I suggest you

contact your boy!

00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:23,535

There it is!

00:12:33,044 --> 00:12:34,921

Back away from

the spacecraft, children!

00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:36,590

No, no! It's okay!

00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:37,883

The ship took us

to another planet!

00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:40,051

A beautiful, lush place

called Marklar!

00:12:40,177 --> 00:12:42,053

Yeah, and the leader, he said

that all the Ethiopians

00:12:42,179 --> 00:12:43,805

can go live there!

00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,182

An alien race?

00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:46,892

Have they heard

the word of Christ?

00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:48,560

No, never!

It's perfect!

00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:49,811

Oh, no,

those poor souls!

00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,146

We must spread

the gospel to them!

00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:54,191

What?

00:12:54,316 --> 00:12:55,776

Come on, Marvin, we got to

get your people to Marklar

00:12:55,901 --> 00:12:56,943

before the

missionaries do!

00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:58,487

You'll do nothing

of the kind!

00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:01,239

This ship is now property of

the United States government!

00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:03,492

No!

00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:07,496

Call those boys' mothers.

00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:09,414

I'm sure they'll be very

interested in the trouble

00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:10,916

their boys

have been up to!

00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:11,917

Oh, no, dude!

00:13:14,336 --> 00:13:19,007

You know Susan, there's so many

great missionaries doing work

00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:22,010

out there in

parts of Africa.

00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:25,472

We're trying to get bibles

to people all over the world

00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:28,225

and what we need is the

help of everyone out there

00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:30,894

so we can continue

these projects.

00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:32,646

Now, listen to this, Susan.

00:13:32,771 --> 00:13:34,523

One of our missionaries

in North Africa

00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,691

has made an

amazing discovery--

00:13:36,817 --> 00:13:40,654

a new planet in the galaxy

Alpha Seti 6

00:13:40,779 --> 00:13:42,197

that has intelligent

life on it.

00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,241

Amazing!

00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:46,326

Now, we're not sure what these

hyper-intelligent beings look

like,

00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:47,577

but one thing is for sure,

00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:50,288

they have never heard

of Jesus Christ.

00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:53,124

What can we do at the 600 Club

to help those poor aliens?

00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:57,379

What we need, Susan, is

we need money to build

an interstellar cruiser.

00:13:57,504 --> 00:14:00,298

Now, this spaceship will be able

to travel through a wormhole

00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:02,759

and deliver the message and

glory of Jesus Christ

00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:04,594

to those

godless aliens!

00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:06,638

Send your money now.

Amen!

00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,853

I want everyone to keep a

safe distance from the craft

00:14:12,978 --> 00:14:14,312

until we can

run some tests!

00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:17,190

Excuse me, gentlemen, uh,

Tom Brokaw is here to see you.

00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:20,527

Tom Brokaw?

Oh no, the press already?

00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:23,613

Ah, good day, gentlemen.

00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:26,408

Uh-huh...

Mr. Brokaw, I presume?

00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,285

You presume wisely, sir.

00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:30,537

I'm here to get the big story,

the big scoop.

00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:33,498

I understand that you found some

kind of ship from an alien race.

00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:36,334

Seeing as though I am

Pulitzer prize-winning

Tom Brokaw--

00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:39,546

Look, kid, did you really think

this was going to fool anybody?

00:14:39,671 --> 00:14:41,256

You don't look

anything like Tom Brokaw!

00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,550

What?

Dare you question my integri'tah?

00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:45,719

I told you Tom Brokaw doesn't

have a mustache, fat ass!

00:14:45,844 --> 00:14:47,178

Wha--?

00:14:47,304 --> 00:14:48,346

Oh, I had some

bad burritos today.

00:14:52,017 --> 00:14:53,768

Alright, boys, time to get back

to your quarters!

00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:56,479

Oh.

00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:58,023

Son of a bitch!

00:14:58,148 --> 00:15:00,191

Run for it!

Get em!

00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:05,280

Kenny!

- Forget him! He's done for!

00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,115

He's not done for!

He's standing right there!

00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,910

No, no! He's

done for! C'mon!

00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:15,123

Nooo!

00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:15,874

Dammit, dammit, dammit!

00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,295

Alright, we made it!

- Okay, Marvin,

00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:21,546

Time to take your people

to their new home!

00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:27,218

What was that?!

00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:28,970

This is the Missionary 600.

00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,388

We have you locked on,

fire ready.

00:15:30,513 --> 00:15:32,974

Turn back right now!

00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:35,018

Aagh! Waaghh!

00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:37,729

They're shooting at us!

- Quick, Marvin, get us to Marklar!

00:15:39,856 --> 00:15:41,358

Well, how'd we

do it last time?!

00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:42,692

Cartman just hit the button

and the ship flew itself.

00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:43,860

Which button did

you press, Cartman!?

00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:45,779

I don't remember.

00:15:45,904 --> 00:15:47,656

You don't remember?!

00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:49,240

You dumbass, Cartman!

- Ay! I was under duress!

00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:51,993

Maybe it was this one...

00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,328

♪ Soaring so high

above the world-♪

00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,288

Arrrrhh!

00:15:57,832 --> 00:15:59,834

Their ship seems to be made

out of a super-strong alloy.

00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,586

These lasers aren't

powerful enough!

00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:05,006

Everyone, the word of the God

is going around the world,

00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:08,301

and all your help is

so greatly appreciated.

00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:12,639

What we need now is

an argon-crystal laser.

00:16:12,764 --> 00:16:15,600

You see, an argon-crystal laser

can pierce thick space hulls

00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:18,144

in a way that

other lasers just can't.

00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:20,313

Send your money now.

Uh, thank you.

00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:25,151

Konba do naka bi?

00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:27,028

Ms. Struthers, we understand

that you have a ship

of your own,

00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:29,072

one capable of

interstellar travel.

00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:35,036

We need to use your ship

to catch those boys.

00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:36,830

We will do anything

for that technology.

00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:43,378

Ms. Struthers, if those Ethiopians

make it to another planet,

00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:45,964

who will send money

to your foundation?

00:16:46,089 --> 00:16:49,259

Without Ethiopians...

you have no food.

00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:52,470

Wo!

So chaka kuram!

00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:54,639

Oh, that won't be

a problem, Ms. Struthers...

00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,933

We have collateral.

00:16:57,058 --> 00:16:58,393

Mph rmph!

00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,020

Ho ho ho ho!

00:17:00,145 --> 00:17:02,355

Hee hee hee hee!

00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:06,109

I have the infidels

in my sights!

00:17:08,278 --> 00:17:10,613

Holy shit!

00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,620

Holy crap!

They have photon torpedoes!

00:17:17,746 --> 00:17:19,914

Now our deflector shields

are useless

00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:21,833

against photon torpedoes,

00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:24,377

and we really need your

support on this one folks.

00:17:24,502 --> 00:17:27,130

Here at the 600 Club,

we need your money

00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:29,507

to spread

the word of Jesus

00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:33,344

and build more advanced

deflector shields for our

galactic cruiser.

00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:35,972

Call now, and we'll give you

this free pin!

00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:39,809

You got 'em, Marvin!

00:17:39,934 --> 00:17:42,312

Yeah, now

finish 'em off!

00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:43,897

Warning:

Deflector shields failing.

00:17:44,022 --> 00:17:45,190

Where did that

come from?!

00:17:45,315 --> 00:17:47,233

Wo ho ho ho!

00:17:47,358 --> 00:17:49,235

Good! Now get them

in our tractor beam!

00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:53,573

Now, we've got 'em!

00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:56,534

Ho, ho, ho, ho...

- It's Sally Struthers!

00:17:56,659 --> 00:17:58,703

Well, it appears they'll be

going back to Ethiopia,

00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:00,538

so we can go on

to the aliens!

00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:02,373

Sorry, Marvin...

we tried...

00:18:02,499 --> 00:18:04,918

Wait!

Ms. Struthers, Ms. Struthers?!

00:18:05,043 --> 00:18:06,294

Whoa?

=Ms. Struthers, please,

00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:08,088

just listen to me

for one second.

00:18:08,213 --> 00:18:10,757

You started the Feed

the Children Foundation

for wonderful reasons.

00:18:10,882 --> 00:18:13,885

To help starving, helpless

people who lived in a rotten

part of the world.

00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:16,179

Well, it's for those reasons

we want to help our friend

Marvin now.

00:18:19,641 --> 00:18:21,684

Ms. Struthers, don't forget

the gift we gave you--

00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:22,644

the child in carbonite.

00:18:27,315 --> 00:18:29,442

Ms. Struthers, you help so many people.

00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:32,112

And you taught us that helping people is what

life is all about.

00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:35,115

All we want to do...

is be like you.

00:18:44,499 --> 00:18:47,001

What the--

00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:48,336

She bought it!

00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,004

Sally Struthers

is saving us!

00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:52,382

Now stay with me

on this one, folks...

00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:55,468

Sally Struthers has

a Tiberian Junker,

00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:58,012

which is the favored ship

of the Hutts,

00:18:58,138 --> 00:19:02,642

and she has trapped

our new CBC Ship in a...

00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:05,728

Positronic Tractor Beam.

00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:09,399

So we're gonna need an

Ionic Tractor Disrupter.

00:19:09,524 --> 00:19:12,402

Now, not a regular

Ionic Tractor Disrupter

00:19:12,527 --> 00:19:15,321

but a Negative

Ionic Tractor Disrupter

00:19:15,446 --> 00:19:17,532

to, uh, help spread

the word of Jesus.

00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,242

I look like a fucking

idiot up here.

00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:22,745

Now's our chance!

00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:25,206

Wait--I remember!

It was the red button!

00:19:27,959 --> 00:19:29,210

They've opened

the wormhole!

00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:30,545

It's pulling us in!

00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:38,303

Arrrrrrghh!

00:19:40,555 --> 00:19:42,473

Arrrrhhhhh!!

00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:59,490

Please, please, please,

we are confused!

00:19:59,616 --> 00:20:02,202

You must explain

one-at-a-Marklar!

00:20:02,327 --> 00:20:05,079

Alien friend, we are here to

spread the word of Jesus.

00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:06,789

He died for your sins.

00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:08,833

Who, Marklar?

00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:10,376

We brought Marvin and

his people to live here

00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:11,336

but these buttholes

followed us!

00:20:11,461 --> 00:20:13,087

Brought...Marklar?

00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:14,631

What is Marklar?

00:20:14,756 --> 00:20:16,382

Here on Marklar,

everyone and everything

00:20:16,507 --> 00:20:18,218

is referred

to as "Marklar".

00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:19,802

Doesn't that

get confusing?

00:20:19,928 --> 00:20:20,970

Oh no, watch this--

00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:22,138

Hey, Marklar!

00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:23,389

Yes?

00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:24,390

You see?

00:20:24,515 --> 00:20:26,100

Wait!

00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:27,894

Wait, I think I can

explain this whole thing...

00:20:28,019 --> 00:20:29,646

Marklar...

00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:31,189

These Marklars want to

change your Marklar.

00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:33,066

They don't want this Marklar or

any of his Marklars to live here

00:20:33,191 --> 00:20:34,776

because it's bad

for their Marklar.

00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:36,444

They use Marklar to

try and force Marklars

00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,696

to believe their Marklar.

00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:40,698

If you let them stay here,

they will build Marklars

and Marklars.

00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:43,701

They will take all your Marklars

and replace them with Marklar.

00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:46,162

These Marklars have no good

Marklar to live on Marklar

00:20:46,287 --> 00:20:48,373

so they must come here

to Marklar.

00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:50,833

Please, let these Marklars stay

where they can grow and prosper

00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:54,671

without any Marklars,

Marklars or Marklars.

00:20:54,796 --> 00:20:57,548

Young Marklar, your Marklars

are wise and true.

00:20:57,674 --> 00:20:59,259

What the hell

did he say?

00:20:59,384 --> 00:21:00,551

Wow, good job, dude!

00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:01,719

Thanks.

00:21:01,844 --> 00:21:03,179

The Marklars can stay!

00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:04,305

Alright!

00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:06,683

You Marklars must leave.

00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:08,393

But you will all burn

forever in eternal hellfire!

00:21:08,518 --> 00:21:09,602

Yes, that's nice.

00:21:09,727 --> 00:21:11,145

Thank you

for stopping by.

00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:15,066

Well, Marvin, it was sure

cool seeing you again.

00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:16,609

No, we gotta go,

Sally Struthers

00:21:16,734 --> 00:21:18,194

is gonna give us

a ride back to Earth.

00:21:18,319 --> 00:21:19,779

Bo chaka bi!

00:21:19,904 --> 00:21:21,698

Goodbye, Marvin!

00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:25,118

Maybe we'll come

visit sometime!

00:21:25,243 --> 00:21:27,078

Yeah, and maybe Jesse Jackson'll

be president!

00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:28,288

Dude!

- What?

00:21:28,413 --> 00:21:29,580

We're not gonna

come visit him.

00:21:29,706 --> 00:21:30,164

I know, but you

don't tell him that!

00:21:30,290 --> 00:21:31,416

Whatever.

00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:36,379

♪ I am Chewbacca ♪

00:21:36,504 --> 00:21:38,006

♪ I am a Wookie ♪

00:21:38,131 --> 00:21:39,590

♪ I fight the Empire ♪

00:21:39,716 --> 00:21:41,592

♪ I fix the robots ♪

00:21:41,718 --> 00:21:43,386

♪ Don't you

fuckin' cross me ♪

00:21:43,511 --> 00:21:45,054

♪ I am Chewbacca ♪

00:21:45,179 --> 00:21:46,681

♪ In need of no one ♪

00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:48,558

♪ In want of nothing ♪

00:21:52,395 --> 00:21:54,272

♪ I am Chewbacca ♪

00:21:54,397 --> 00:21:56,274

♪ I have no home ♪

00:21:56,399 --> 00:21:57,984

♪ My home is where ♪

00:21:58,109 --> 00:21:59,152

♪ My spirit goes ♪♪

00:00:13,389 --> 00:00:15,141

Approaching Marklar.

00:00:15,266 --> 00:00:17,685

[radio]

Proceed with Marklar

and make first contact.

00:00:17,810 --> 00:00:19,145

Marklar!

00:00:28,863 --> 00:00:30,614

Greetings, Marklars!

00:00:30,740 --> 00:00:33,576

I am Marklar!

00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:35,703

[slurping]

00:00:35,828 --> 00:00:38,164

I come in Marklar!

00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:41,250

Oh, Marklar!

00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,669

Arrrrrgghh!

00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:04,023

Hello everyone,

I am Sister Hollis!

00:01:04,148 --> 00:01:06,984

I was chosen for my mission work

to come here to Africa

00:01:07,109 --> 00:01:10,446

and teach you all about

the teachings of Jesus!

00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:14,575

Okay, then, do we have our Bibles

that were handed out freely?

00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:16,368

No, no, no!

00:01:16,494 --> 00:01:17,578

We don't

eat the Bibles,

00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:19,580

we read them!

00:01:19,705 --> 00:01:22,708

Now, let's turn to

Mark 3:19!

00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:24,210

Come on,

remember--

00:01:24,335 --> 00:01:26,253

reading Bible plus

accepting Jesus

00:01:26,378 --> 00:01:29,423

equals food!

00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:30,674

Good!

00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:32,301

Now who can read

Mark 3:19?

00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:36,347

How about, Marvin!

00:01:36,472 --> 00:01:37,807

[in native language]

00:01:37,932 --> 00:01:39,433

No, Marvin,

in God's language--

00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:40,518

English.

00:01:42,728 --> 00:01:45,064

Where are you going,

back to your life of sin?!

00:01:45,189 --> 00:01:47,608

Don't you understand

that unless you find Christ,

00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:50,277

you and all your people

are doomed to eternal hellfire?

00:01:57,660 --> 00:01:59,537

[moaning weakly]

00:02:09,213 --> 00:02:10,506

[Marvin speaking]

00:02:20,015 --> 00:02:21,392

[in native language]

00:02:25,563 --> 00:02:27,690

[mechanical whirring]

00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:34,738

[all]

Aaagghh!

00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:52,631

Waaagghgh!

00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:14,945

...And so, children, that's why

Hare Krishnas are totally gay.

00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,118

Uhh, can I help you?

00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:22,745

Yes, I'm Conley,

and this is Finks.

00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:24,705

We're with the CIA.

00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:26,665

We're here to speak with

some of your students.

00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:29,793

You, you, you and you.

00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:32,129

Oh for Pete's sake, what have

you bastards done now?

00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:34,340

Ay, that was Kyle that went

number two in the urinal!

00:03:34,465 --> 00:03:35,424

No it wasn't,

fat ass!

00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:36,634

I saw you do it!

00:03:36,759 --> 00:03:38,260

Boys, we need to

talk to you

00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:40,804

about a matter of

national security, now!

00:03:43,766 --> 00:03:46,101

I hope you

give 'em the chair!

00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:47,937

Anyway, children,

as I was saying,

00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:49,813

the Hare Krishnas

are totally gay...

00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:54,944

Oh dude,

this is not good.

00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:56,237

Relax, fat ass.

00:03:56,362 --> 00:03:57,279

No dude, I've

seen this on TV.

00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:58,822

They shine that

light in your face

00:03:58,948 --> 00:03:59,907

and then try to get you

to tell them stuff

00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:01,408

by squeezing your balls

really hard!

00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:02,409

What?!

00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:04,203

Dude, I've seen it!

00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:04,954

They grab your balls with

their leather-gloved hands

00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:06,413

and squeeze as hard

as they can

00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:07,581

until they pop

like little grapes!

00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:09,124

[all]

Ow, dude!

00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:11,043

Start with Kenny! Start with Kenny!

00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:12,878

Relax, boys, we just

need to talk with you.

00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,129

I told you,

fat ass.

00:04:14,255 --> 00:04:16,006

Approximately 31 hours ago,

00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:18,300

an ethnic-looking child

was spotted flying

00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:20,177

some kind of state-of-the-art

aircraft over Chinese airspace.

00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:21,428

Whoa, cool!

00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:23,430

Cool?

00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:24,890

The craft appears to have

enough plutonium fuel aboard

00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:26,267

to blow up a large city.

00:04:26,392 --> 00:04:27,518

Do you think

that's 'cool'?!

00:04:27,643 --> 00:04:29,353

Totally!

00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:30,729

Alright children, we just

need to know one thing:

00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:33,023

do you know...

this person?

00:04:33,148 --> 00:04:34,441

Hey, that's

Starvin' Marvin!

00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:35,567

Shh!

- Who?

00:04:35,693 --> 00:04:37,027

You dumbass, Cartman!

00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:37,778

Now they're gonna go

squeeze his balls!

00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:39,154

Oh... we

don't know him.

00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:40,364

We already know

you know him.

00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:41,532

We have this!

00:04:41,657 --> 00:04:42,741

Now, who is he!?

00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:44,368

[fart]

00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:45,953

Kyle's making mud pies,

you guys want one?

00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:47,579

[laughing]

00:04:47,705 --> 00:04:49,206

This is getting us nowhere.

00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:51,208

We'll have to resort to

more drastic measures.

00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,210

But they're just kids,

we can't torture them!

00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:55,045

Look, we don't know what

that craft is capable of

00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:57,381

but the kid is going to have

to land it somewhere.

00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:59,633

God only knows what sadistic,

backwards third-world country

00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,385

could get their hands

on that ship!

00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:05,055

♪ Soaring so high

above the world ♪

00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:09,476

♪ Never thought

I could be so free ♪

00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:13,480

♪ I'm one with the birds

and magic is all I see-- ♪♪

00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:15,941

[Aussie accents]

Oi, look up there!

00:05:18,277 --> 00:05:19,445

It's a UFO!

00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:22,906

[gasps and shudders]

00:05:23,032 --> 00:05:26,785

Oi, that's one

creeeepy alien.

00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:29,830

Talk to him, mayor!

00:05:32,124 --> 00:05:34,793

Great and noble

alien creature,

00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:37,588

as mayor of the

fine planet of Australia

00:05:37,713 --> 00:05:41,967

I welcome you to our fine...

planet of Australia.

00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:43,427

Chippy, chip!

00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:44,595

[all]

Choorah!

00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,347

Look out,

he's got a gun!

00:05:46,472 --> 00:05:47,514

Aaaghgh!

00:05:48,974 --> 00:05:50,100

Wait, it's

not a gun!

00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:51,143

It's a piece

a pay-pa!

00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:52,895

Oh.

00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,443

Oh, I think he's

trying to tell us that

00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:03,697

he wants to relocate all his

species here to Australia!

00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:05,199

Well, you certainly

are welcome here, alien.

00:06:05,324 --> 00:06:07,076

In fact, there's

a mission right over there

00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:08,410

that will take all

of your people in!

00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:11,455

Hello!

00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:16,960

Guess the little pecker

doesn't like missionaries.

00:06:17,086 --> 00:06:18,629

[all panting and moaning]

00:06:18,754 --> 00:06:20,130

Now, I'll

ask you again...

00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:22,132

Who is the little boy

that took our ship?

00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:23,884

We... we don't know...

00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:25,594

[horrible scraping noise]

Aaaagaghgh!

00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,638

[scrape]

Aaaagghgh!

00:06:27,763 --> 00:06:29,264

Who is this person?!

00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:32,101

K-kill me...

00:06:32,226 --> 00:06:33,102

Do it again!

00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:34,269

Aaaghghgh!

00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:35,938

No, wait...

I'll-I'll tell you.

00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,773

He's... he's a little

starving Ethiopian kid...

00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:38,774

We adopted him.

00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:39,775

Cartman!

00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:40,776

Adopted from who?!

00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,403

Sally...

Sally Struthers...

00:06:42,528 --> 00:06:43,904

The lady on TV...

00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:45,197

She knows everything...

Sally Struthers.

00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:47,491

Sally Struthers!

Where can we find her?

00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:49,493

I know exactly where

Sally Struthers is!

00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:51,787

Let them go.

00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:52,913

Good job,

fat ass!

00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:53,831

Dude, I couldn't

take that balloon.

00:06:53,956 --> 00:06:55,207

Another couple hours of that

00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:56,458

and I would have been

totally pissed off.

00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:57,793

Whatever, let's go see

what's on TV.

00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:04,925

Gentlemen, Ms. Struthers

can see you now.

00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:08,053

Now I'm warning you, Bill,

Sally Struthers is a bit heavy.

00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:09,930

But don't say anything because

she's pretty sensitive.

00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,557

Oh I would never

say anything.

00:07:11,682 --> 00:07:13,934

I saw some show where they made

fun of Sally Struthers' weight

00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,769

and I thought it was

totally cruel.

00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:17,187

I mean, she helps people,

you know?

00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:19,565

Ah, Mrs. Struthers...

00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:20,941

Ho, ho, ho, ho...

00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,867

Ms. Struthers, we understand

you have helped raise

00:07:29,992 --> 00:07:32,327

millions of dollars to help

starving children in Ethiopia.

00:07:36,832 --> 00:07:39,042

We need information

on one of the Ethiopians.

00:07:39,168 --> 00:07:40,919

You must tell us everything

you know about him.

00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:42,045

Doh ba-kin?

00:07:42,171 --> 00:07:44,631

His name is

Starving Marvin.

00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:47,050

[sniffing]

00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:55,017

Why yes, it is a

"Chocolate Yum Yum Bar",

Ms. Struthers...

00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:58,812

And there are several more

where that came from.

00:07:58,937 --> 00:08:02,733

Of course, if you don't want to

tell us about the Ethiopian

boy...

00:08:02,858 --> 00:08:04,860

Mo naka!

00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,988

I'm glad we can

do business...

00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:12,659

Come on dude, there's

gotta be something about

00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:13,994

Starvin' Marvin

in the news.

00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:15,412

Well, I can't find anything.

Wait what's this?

00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:17,831

God wants you

to send us money.

00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:20,501

He needs you to send us money

so we can help others...

00:08:20,626 --> 00:08:22,044

Oh, my God,

this guy again.

00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:23,420

Why would anybody send

this asshole money?

00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:24,755

Mpphmprph mrph mrph.

00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,840

[laughing]

00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:28,258

[crash]

Holy shit!

00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:30,427

Whoa!

00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:33,347

Aw! Awww!

00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:34,890

Oh, weak!

00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:37,601

Starvin' Marvin!

- [in native language]

00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:38,852

He did take a ship!

00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:40,145

Well nice job, Marvin.

I hope you got

00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:42,272

about a thousand dollars

to pay for my house!

00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:45,108

Dude, you're gonna get busted

for taking this thing.

00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:46,193

I think he wants us

to get in!

00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:48,487

Kick ass!

00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:49,988

Wow, this thing

is awesome!

00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:51,240

Let's go somewhere!

00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:56,787

♪ Soaring so high

above the world ♪

00:08:56,912 --> 00:09:00,707

♪ Never thought

I could be so free ♪

00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:04,378

♪ I'm one with the birds

and magic is all I see ♪

00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:05,921

This is great!

00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,631

Yeah, but where is that

crappy song coming from?

00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,132

Can we turn that off?

[crappy song stops]

00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:12,094

Yeah, that's better.

00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:13,762

[groaning]

00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,682

Hello, how are we

doing today?

00:09:16,807 --> 00:09:18,600

Look what I got

for you--

00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:21,728

No, it's not food,

it's a cross!

00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:24,481

And it has your new Christian

name printed on it.

00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:26,233

From now on,

you are "Michael."

00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:27,943

Can you say

"Michael"?

00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,320

Click?

00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:33,073

Miiii-chael.

00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:34,241

Click.

00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:36,535

Oh, well,

you'll get it.

00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:40,872

Hello, brother David, do you

have any sins to confess?

00:09:40,998 --> 00:09:42,874

Anybody?

Sins to confess?

00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,585

Joshua?

00:09:44,710 --> 00:09:47,921

You know, today I am reminded of

psalm 46, line 39.

00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:49,464

"though the

mountains shake and--"

00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:51,258

Here they are!

- Who are you?

00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:53,051

We're with the

American government!

00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:55,554

Sally Struthers told us where

we'd find Marvin's parents!

00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:58,348

Hello there, Mr. and Mrs.

Click Click Derk!

00:09:58,473 --> 00:10:00,392

I think you know

why we're here!

00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:06,982

No dude, you don't want to

bring your people to Mexico.

00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,859

There's missionaries

there, too.

00:10:08,984 --> 00:10:10,736

No way, not Utah!

00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:12,362

Utah's nothing but

missionaries!

00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,615

Dude, it looks like he's

tried everywhere in the world.

00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:15,365

Well he hasn't

been... here yet.

00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:17,576

Where's this?

00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:19,995

Wwwaaaaaghghgh!

00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,580

What the hell

did you hit, Cartman?!

00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:23,832

Oh, my God, what the hell

is that thing?!

00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:27,753

Aaaaggghhhh!

00:10:30,005 --> 00:10:32,424

Aaaaggghhhh!

00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:39,097

Where are we?

- [native language]

00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:46,229

We're on, like,

some foreign planet.

00:10:46,355 --> 00:10:47,648

This place is rad!

00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:49,524

Look at all the trees

and stuff!

00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,825

Greetings,

welcome, to Marklar.

00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:00,327

Uh, thanks.

00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:03,372

I am Marklar,

leader of the Marklar.

00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:04,915

Uh, cool.

My name is Stan,

00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,500

and, uh,

I'm the leader of Earth.

00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:08,043

Marklar to you.

00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,753

Cool!

- Ay, I'm the leader of earth!

00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:11,463

Screw you, Cartman,

I called leader first.

00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:12,964

Well, you can call leader

till your ass bleeds,

00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:13,715

but it doesn't

make it true!

00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:24,142

We are very thankful to you for

bringing our Marklar back to us.

00:11:24,267 --> 00:11:26,478

Wait, I thought you called

your planet Marklar.

00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:31,108

Oh, here on Marklar, we refer to

all people, places and things

as Marklar.

00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:32,818

Well, our friend Marvin

and all his people

00:11:32,943 --> 00:11:34,486

have to live on a part

of Earth that sucks ass.

00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:35,862

They can't grow food

or nothing.

00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:37,239

Yeah, so it would be really

cool if you would let

00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:38,782

Marvin and all his people

come live here.

00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:41,576

Well, there is a lot

of room on Marklar.

00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:44,496

If Marklar here wants to

bring his Marklar to Marklar,

00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:45,706

that would be fine.

00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:47,791

Just take our Marklar

back to Marklar

00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:49,376

and bring all the

Marklar back with you.

00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:50,877

Uh... Thanks.

00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:56,842

Let's go through this

one more time Mr. and Mrs.

Click Click Derk!

00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,927

Your son Marvin

has a ship that we want.

00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,096

How can we get it

from him?

00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:02,556

We are the CIA!

00:12:02,681 --> 00:12:04,307

That ship needs

to be with us!

00:12:04,433 --> 00:12:06,351

Maybe we should just take

something precious of yours!

00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:08,186

Huh?!

00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:09,730

A-ha! This!

00:12:09,855 --> 00:12:11,314

This... gourd-thingy,

for instance!

00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:12,899

How do you like that, huh?!

00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:15,068

If you ever want to see this...

little thingy again,

00:12:15,193 --> 00:12:17,279

I suggest you

contact your boy!

00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:22,534

[alarmed cries

in native language]

00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:23,535

There it is!

00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,919

[native language]

00:12:33,044 --> 00:12:34,921

Back away from

the spacecraft, children!

00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:36,590

No, no! It's okay!

00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:37,883

The ship took us

to another planet!

00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:40,051

A beautiful, lush place

called Marklar!

00:12:40,177 --> 00:12:42,053

Yeah, and the leader, he said

that all the Ethiopians

00:12:42,179 --> 00:12:43,805

can go live there!

00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,182

An alien race?

00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:46,892

Have they heard

the word of Christ?

00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:48,560

No, never!

It's perfect!

00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:49,811

Oh, no,

those poor souls!

00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,146

We must spread

the gospel to them!

00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:54,191

What?

00:12:54,316 --> 00:12:55,776

Come on, Marvin, we got to

get your people to Marklar

00:12:55,901 --> 00:12:56,943

before the

missionaries do!

00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:58,487

You'll do nothing

of the kind!

00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:01,239

This ship is now property of

the United States government!

00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:03,492

No!

[men shouting]

00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:07,496

Call those boys' mothers.

00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:09,414

I'm sure they'll be very

interested in the trouble

00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:10,916

their boys

have been up to!

00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:11,917

Oh, no, dude!

00:13:14,336 --> 00:13:19,007

You know Susan, there's so many

great missionaries doing work

00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:22,010

out there in

parts of Africa.

00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:25,472

We're trying to get bibles

to people all over the world

00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:28,225

and what we need is the

help of everyone out there

00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:30,894

so we can continue

these projects.

00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:32,646

Now, listen to this, Susan.

00:13:32,771 --> 00:13:34,523

One of our missionaries

in North Africa

00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,691

has made an

amazing discovery--

00:13:36,817 --> 00:13:40,654

a new planet in the galaxy

Alpha Seti 6

00:13:40,779 --> 00:13:42,197

that has intelligent

life on it.

00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,241

Amazing!

00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:46,326

Now, we're not sure what these

hyper-intelligent beings look

like,

00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:47,577

but one thing is for sure,

00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:50,288

they have never heard

of Jesus Christ.

00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:53,124

What can we do at the 600 Club

to help those poor aliens?

00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:57,379

What we need, Susan, is

we need money to build

an interstellar cruiser.

00:13:57,504 --> 00:14:00,298

Now, this spaceship will be able

to travel through a wormhole

00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:02,759

and deliver the message and

glory of Jesus Christ

00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:04,594

to those

godless aliens!

00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:06,638

Send your money now.

Amen!

00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,853

I want everyone to keep a

safe distance from the craft

00:14:12,978 --> 00:14:14,312

until we can

run some tests!

00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:17,190

Excuse me, gentlemen, uh,

Tom Brokaw is here to see you.

00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:20,527

Tom Brokaw?

Oh no, the press already?

00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:23,613

[Cartman's voice]

Ah, good day, gentlemen.

00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:26,408

Uh-huh...

Mr. Brokaw, I presume?

00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,285

You presume wisely, sir.

00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:30,537

I'm here to get the big story,

the big scoop.

00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:33,498

I understand that you found some

kind of ship from an alien race.

00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:36,334

Seeing as though I am

Pulitzer prize-winning

Tom Brokaw--

00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:39,546

Look, kid, did you really think

this was going to fool anybody?

00:14:39,671 --> 00:14:41,256

You don't look

anything like Tom Brokaw!

00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,550

What?

Dare you question my integri'tah?

00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:45,719

[Kyle muffled]

I told you Tom Brokaw doesn't

have a mustache, fat ass!

00:14:45,844 --> 00:14:47,178

Wha--?

00:14:47,304 --> 00:14:48,346

Oh, I had some

bad burritos today.

00:14:52,017 --> 00:14:53,768

Alright, boys, time to get back

to your quarters!

00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:56,479

Oh.

00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:58,023

Son of a bitch!

00:14:58,148 --> 00:15:00,191

Run for it!

Get em!

00:15:00,317 --> 00:15:02,944

[all shouting]

00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:05,280

Kenny!

- Forget him! He's done for!

00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,115

He's not done for!

He's standing right there!

00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,910

No, no! He's

done for! C'mon!

00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:15,123

Nooo!

00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:15,874

Dammit, dammit, dammit!

00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,295

Alright, we made it!

- Okay, Marvin,

00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:21,546

Time to take your people

to their new home!

00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:24,299

[loud banging]

00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:27,218

What was that?!

00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:28,970

This is the Missionary 600.

00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,388

We have you locked on,

fire ready.

00:15:30,513 --> 00:15:32,974

Turn back right now!

00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:35,018

[all]

Aagh! Waaghh!

00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:37,729

They're shooting at us!

- Quick, Marvin, get us to Marklar!

00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:39,814

[in native language]

00:15:39,856 --> 00:15:41,358

Well, how'd we

do it last time?!

00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:42,692

Cartman just hit the button

and the ship flew itself.

00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:43,860

Which button did

you press, Cartman!?

00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:45,779

I don't remember.

00:15:45,904 --> 00:15:47,656

You don't remember?!

00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:49,240

You dumbass, Cartman!

- Ay! I was under duress!

00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:51,993

Maybe it was this one...

00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,328

♪ Soaring so high

above the world-♪

00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,288

[all]

Arrrrhh!

00:15:57,832 --> 00:15:59,834

Their ship seems to be made

out of a super-strong alloy.

00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,586

These lasers aren't

powerful enough!

00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:05,006

Everyone, the word of the God

is going around the world,

00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:08,301

and all your help is

so greatly appreciated.

00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:12,639

What we need now is

an argon-crystal laser.

00:16:12,764 --> 00:16:15,600

You see, an argon-crystal laser

can pierce thick space hulls

00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:18,144

in a way that

other lasers just can't.

00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:20,313

Send your money now.

Uh, thank you.

00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:25,151

Konba do naka bi?

00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:27,028

Ms. Struthers, we understand

that you have a ship

of your own,

00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:29,072

one capable of

interstellar travel.

00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:35,036

We need to use your ship

to catch those boys.

00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:36,830

We will do anything

for that technology.

00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:43,378

Ms. Struthers, if those Ethiopians

make it to another planet,

00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:45,964

who will send money

to your foundation?

00:16:46,089 --> 00:16:49,259

Without Ethiopians...

you have no food.

00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:52,470

Wo!

So chaka kuram!

00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:54,639

Oh, that won't be

a problem, Ms. Struthers...

00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,933

We have collateral.

00:16:57,058 --> 00:16:58,393

Mph rmph!

00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,020

Ho ho ho ho!

00:17:00,145 --> 00:17:02,355

Hee hee hee hee!

00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:06,109

I have the infidels

in my sights!

00:17:08,278 --> 00:17:10,613

Holy shit!

00:17:10,739 --> 00:17:11,948

[in native language]

00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,620

Holy crap!

They have photon torpedoes!

00:17:17,746 --> 00:17:19,914

Now our deflector shields

are useless

00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:21,833

against photon torpedoes,

00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:24,377

and we really need your

support on this one folks.

00:17:24,502 --> 00:17:27,130

Here at the 600 Club,

we need your money

00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:29,507

to spread

the word of Jesus

00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:33,344

and build more advanced

deflector shields for our

galactic cruiser.

00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:35,972

Call now, and we'll give you

this free pin!

00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:39,809

You got 'em, Marvin!

00:17:39,934 --> 00:17:42,312

Yeah, now

finish 'em off!

00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:43,897

Warning:

Deflector shields failing.

00:17:44,022 --> 00:17:45,190

Where did that

come from?!

00:17:45,315 --> 00:17:47,233

Wo ho ho ho!

00:17:47,358 --> 00:17:49,235

Good! Now get them

in our tractor beam!

00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:53,573

Now, we've got 'em!

00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:56,534

Ho, ho, ho, ho...

- It's Sally Struthers!

00:17:56,659 --> 00:17:58,703

Well, it appears they'll be

going back to Ethiopia,

00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:00,538

so we can go on

to the aliens!

00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:02,373

Sorry, Marvin...

we tried...

00:18:02,499 --> 00:18:04,918

Wait!

Ms. Struthers, Ms. Struthers?!

00:18:05,043 --> 00:18:06,294

Whoa?

=Ms. Struthers, please,

00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:08,088

just listen to me

for one second.

00:18:08,213 --> 00:18:10,757

You started the Feed

the Children Foundation

for wonderful reasons.

00:18:10,882 --> 00:18:13,885

To help starving, helpless

people who lived in a rotten

part of the world.

00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:16,179

Well, it's for those reasons

we want to help our friend

Marvin now.

00:18:19,641 --> 00:18:21,684

Ms. Struthers, don't forget

the gift we gave you--

00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:22,644

the child in carbonite.

00:18:27,315 --> 00:18:29,442

Ms. Struthers, you help so many people.

00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:32,112

And you taught us that helping people is what

life is all about.

00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:35,115

All we want to do...

is be like you.

00:18:44,499 --> 00:18:47,001

What the--

00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:48,336

She bought it!

00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,004

Sally Struthers

is saving us!

00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:52,382

Now stay with me

on this one, folks...

00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:55,468

Sally Struthers has

a Tiberian Junker,

00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:58,012

which is the favored ship

of the Hutts,

00:18:58,138 --> 00:19:02,642

and she has trapped

our new CBC Ship in a...

00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:05,728

Positronic Tractor Beam.

00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:09,399

So we're gonna need an

Ionic Tractor Disrupter.

00:19:09,524 --> 00:19:12,402

Now, not a regular

Ionic Tractor Disrupter

00:19:12,527 --> 00:19:15,321

but a Negative

Ionic Tractor Disrupter

00:19:15,446 --> 00:19:17,532

to, uh, help spread

the word of Jesus.

00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,242

I look like a fucking

idiot up here.

00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:22,745

Now's our chance!

00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:25,206

Wait--I remember!

It was the red button!

00:19:27,959 --> 00:19:29,210

They've opened

the wormhole!

00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:30,545

It's pulling us in!

00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:38,303

Arrrrrrghh!

00:19:40,555 --> 00:19:42,473

Arrrrhhhhh!!

00:19:50,273 --> 00:19:53,693

[all talking at once]

00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:59,490

Please, please, please,

we are confused!

00:19:59,616 --> 00:20:02,202

You must explain

one-at-a-Marklar!

00:20:02,327 --> 00:20:05,079

Alien friend, we are here to

spread the word of Jesus.

00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:06,789

He died for your sins.

00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:08,833

Who, Marklar?

00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:10,376

We brought Marvin and

his people to live here

00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:11,336

but these buttholes

followed us!

00:20:11,461 --> 00:20:13,087

Brought...Marklar?

00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:14,631

What is Marklar?

00:20:14,756 --> 00:20:16,382

Here on Marklar,

everyone and everything

00:20:16,507 --> 00:20:18,218

is referred

to as "Marklar".

00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:19,802

Doesn't that

get confusing?

00:20:19,928 --> 00:20:20,970

Oh no, watch this--

00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:22,138

Hey, Marklar!

00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:23,389

Yes?

00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:24,390

You see?

00:20:24,515 --> 00:20:26,100

Wait!

00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:27,894

Wait, I think I can

explain this whole thing...

00:20:28,019 --> 00:20:29,646

Marklar...

00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:31,189

These Marklars want to

change your Marklar.

00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:33,066

They don't want this Marklar or

any of his Marklars to live here

00:20:33,191 --> 00:20:34,776

because it's bad

for their Marklar.

00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:36,444

They use Marklar to

try and force Marklars

00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,696

to believe their Marklar.

00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:40,698

If you let them stay here,

they will build Marklars

and Marklars.

00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:43,701

They will take all your Marklars

and replace them with Marklar.

00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:46,162

These Marklars have no good

Marklar to live on Marklar

00:20:46,287 --> 00:20:48,373

so they must come here

to Marklar.

00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:50,833

Please, let these Marklars stay

where they can grow and prosper

00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:54,671

without any Marklars,

Marklars or Marklars.

00:20:54,796 --> 00:20:57,548

Young Marklar, your Marklars

are wise and true.

00:20:57,674 --> 00:20:59,259

What the hell

did he say?

00:20:59,384 --> 00:21:00,551

Wow, good job, dude!

00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:01,719

Thanks.

00:21:01,844 --> 00:21:03,179

The Marklars can stay!

00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:04,305

Alright!

00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:06,683

You Marklars must leave.

00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:08,393

But you will all burn

forever in eternal hellfire!

00:21:08,518 --> 00:21:09,602

Yes, that's nice.

00:21:09,727 --> 00:21:11,145

Thank you

for stopping by.

00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:15,066

Well, Marvin, it was sure

cool seeing you again.

00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:16,609

No, we gotta go,

Sally Struthers

00:21:16,734 --> 00:21:18,194

is gonna give us

a ride back to Earth.

00:21:18,319 --> 00:21:19,779

Bo chaka bi!

00:21:19,904 --> 00:21:21,698

Goodbye, Marvin!

00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:25,118

Maybe we'll come

visit sometime!

00:21:25,243 --> 00:21:27,078

Yeah, and maybe Jesse Jackson'll

be president!

00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:28,288

Dude!

- What?

00:21:28,413 --> 00:21:29,580

We're not gonna

come visit him.

00:21:29,706 --> 00:21:30,164

I know, but you

don't tell him that!

00:21:30,290 --> 00:21:31,416

Whatever.

00:21:31,541 --> 00:21:34,335

[all shouting excitedly]

00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:36,379

♪ I am Chewbacca ♪

00:21:36,504 --> 00:21:38,006

♪ I am a Wookie ♪

00:21:38,131 --> 00:21:39,590

♪ I fight the Empire ♪

00:21:39,716 --> 00:21:41,592

♪ I fix the robots ♪

00:21:41,718 --> 00:21:43,386

♪ Don't you

fuckin' cross me ♪

00:21:43,511 --> 00:21:45,054

♪ I am Chewbacca ♪

00:21:45,179 --> 00:21:46,681

♪ In need of no one ♪

00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:48,558

♪ In want of nothing ♪

00:21:52,395 --> 00:21:54,272

♪ I am Chewbacca ♪

00:21:54,397 --> 00:21:56,274

♪ I have no home ♪

00:21:56,399 --> 00:21:57,984

♪ My home is where ♪

00:21:58,109 --> 00:21:59,152

♪ My spirit goes ♪♪