Отличная загадка группы Korn о пиратском призраке

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♪ I'm going down

to South Park ♪

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♪ Gonna have

myself a time ♪

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♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

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♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

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♪ Going down

to South Park ♪

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♪ Gonna leave my

woes behind ♪

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♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

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♪ People spouting

"howdy neighbor" ♪

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♪ Headed on up

to South Park ♪

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♪ Gonna see if

I can't unwind ♪

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♪ So come on down

to South Park ♪

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♪ And meet some

friends of mine ♪

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We're here live at the

Kozi 102.1 Halloween Haunt

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at the South Park

Docks!

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Come on down!

We've got a haunted house,

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and everyone is decorating for

tomorrow night, Halloween!

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When the band Korn--

that's right, Korn--

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is going to play live.

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And don't forget to wear

a costume tomorrow

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because there's

a big first prize!

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Well, here are some kids enjoying

the Halloween Haunt now.

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Say boys, what do you

think of Kozi FM's

Halloween Haunt so far?

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This one time,

like 8 months ago,

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I saw two guys kissing

in a park.

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And that was the gayest thing

I'd ever seen

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until I saw the Kozi FM

Halloween Haunt.

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Alright! Well enjoy

the spooky docks, kids!

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Hey, you guys, you know

what time of year it is?

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Of course, dumbass,

it's Halloween.

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That's right!

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And that means only two

more months 'til Christmas!

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♪ You better watch out

you better not cry ♪

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Christmas!

- ♪ Christmas time means

presents for meeee ♪

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Aw, nuts!

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Come on Ned, this ain't

a whore house,

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it's a hor-ror house!

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Aw!

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Hey, Spooky Laboratory,

you guys!

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Those things are

stupid, Cartman.

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They just stick your hand

in cold spaghetti

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and tell you it's

intestines and stuff.

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Well, I'm going to

Spooky Laboratory.

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♪ Jingle bells

jingle bells ♪

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Welcome to the

Spooky Laboratory.

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I'm your guide,

Dr. Spookalot.

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Allow me to show you

around the lab.

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Cool.

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Here I have a bowl

of human eyeballs.

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Ewww!

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And here you can

feel the brains.

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Oh, ho! Gross!

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And here you can feel the

warm innards of the body.

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Ewww, it feels like

cold spaghetti!

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You guys, it feels like

cold spaghetti!

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Give it up, Kenny, you're not

gonna win the costume contest.

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Your costumes

always suck.

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Boo!

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Aagghgh!

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Ha ha ha ha!

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We scared you,

chickens!

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We weren't scared!

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Well you should be, the pirate

ghosts are gonna come get'cha!

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The what?

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Didn't you know?

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There's an old legend

in South Park

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that says these docks are

haunted by pirate ghosts.

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Nu-uh.

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Yeah-huh,

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they roam these docks with their

swords and hooks hands,

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looking for victims

to cut up!

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That's just

an old legend.

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Rarrrr!

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Aaaghghg!

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Ha ha ha ha,

got you again!

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Just wait 'til tomorrow!

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We're gonna scare

you kids to death!

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Ha ha ha!

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You guys, my hand totally smells

like spaghetti now, smell it!

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I'm sick of those 5th graders

scaring us all the time.

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We should come up with

a way to scare them!

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Yeah, let's see

how they like it!

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Joining me now is Father Maxi

from the South Park Church.

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Father, what do you think

of all the preparations

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here at the docks?

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Halloween is an

abomination of God!

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A celebration

of the occult!

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Yeah, and how about Korn playing

the big concert tomorrow?

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Pretty exciting, huh?

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Korn is a devil worshipping

group that plays violent music!

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If we allow that demon band

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to play on this

most unholy of holidays,

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we may incur the full

wrath of evil!

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Alright! We'll see you

tomorrow for Halloween,

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in the meantime, here's

a Kozi hit by Barry Manilow.

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Come on, you guys,

think.

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How can we scare

the 5th graders?

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It has to be something

really scary.

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We could get a big, scary,

plastic spider

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and dangle it in front

of them on a string...

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...spooky spider,

that's pretty scary.

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That's not scary,

fat ass!

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Well come on! We can think

of something better

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than stupid

pirate ghosts!

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Argggh!

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Are you sure we're

going the right way?

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I don't know, this map

doesn't make any sense.

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That's because you've got it

upside down, chowder head!

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Oops.

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When are we gonna get

to the gig? I'm starving!

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Don't think about it.

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We'll just keep playing

our game... ready?

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I spy with my little eye

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something that begins

with the letter "t".

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I know!

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A "t"ree!

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You got it!

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I spy with

my little eye

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something that begins

with the letter "r".

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The "r"oad?

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That's it!

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Aarrrggghhh!

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Okay, here's one:

I spy with my little eye

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something that begins

with the letter "p".

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The letter "p"?

00:04:10,376 --> 00:04:12,002

What the heck starts

with the letter "p"?

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P-pirate ghosts!

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Aaaghgh!

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Aaahh!

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Mom! You got the new

Duffy's catalogue,

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I'm gonna circle everything

I want for Christmas, okay?

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Mom? Okay?

00:04:34,275 --> 00:04:36,110

Okay...

let's see...

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I want this...

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and this...

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And, let's see...

"comes with..."

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"Comes with..."

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Eric, your little

friends are here.

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Mom! Mom! You wanna see

what I want for Christmas?

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Eric, it's only

Halloween.

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That's only 72 shopping

days left for you!

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Come on, fat ass,

we have to go.

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Hey!

Don't call me fat!

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Mom! Don't laugh!

00:05:01,427 --> 00:05:02,803

I'm sorry, hon.

00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:04,054

I can't go with

you guys right now.

00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:04,763

Yes you can, porky.

00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:07,308

Mom! Seriously!

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Oh, that's not

funny, boys.

00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:10,728

Eric isn't fat,

he's big boned.

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He must have a huge bone in his ass, then.

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Goddammit, Mom!

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God, I hate you guys.

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Okay, so we figured out how to scare the 5th

graders.

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How?

00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:20,696

What's the scariest thing

we could get?

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Spooky spider?

00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,157

No, a dead body.

00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:24,867

Yeah, fat ass,

a dead body.

00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:26,827

You mean we make something

that looks like a dead body?

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We could never make one

that looks real enough.

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To be really scary...

it would have to be real.

00:05:30,456 --> 00:05:32,291

Yeah, fat ass, it has to

be real to be scary.

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So where the hell are we

gonna get a dead body?

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We're gonna dig up

Kyle's dead grandma.

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Yeah, fat ass,

we're gonna dig up--

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"dig up Kyle's

dead grandma"?!

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Dude, she's perfect, she only

died like 3 months ago, right?

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Are you insane?!

00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,094

I think that's

a sweet idea.

- Mph!

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Dude, we're not digging up my

grandma, I'll get in trouble!

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All we have to do is sneak

into the graveyard, dig her up,

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scare the 5th graders,

and then put her back

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before anybody notices

she's gone.

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Naw, let's dig up

somebody else.

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Relax, dude,

what's the big deal?

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Think about it, if your grandma

knew that she could help you,

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even in death,

she would want to.

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This is gonna be fun!

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♪ Just hear those

sleighbells ring-a-ling ♪

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♪ Ring ting

ting-a-ling too ♪

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♪ Outside its lovely weather for

a sleighride together with you ♪

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♪ And you and you! ♪

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Cartman, will you stop

singing Christmas carols?

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We have to be quiet or else

we're gonna get busted!

00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:15,167

This must be it--

"Cleo Broflovski".

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That's my grandma.

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Well,

let's dig her up!

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Wait, I don't know

if this is cool.

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Of course it's cool.

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She's gonna be all

rotted and scary.

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I don't think my mom would

want me doing this.

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"Oh, I don't want to

dig up my dead grandma

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"'cause I'm such

a goodie-two-shoes!"

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Ow!

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You guys, be quiet!

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Now do you wanna get back at

the 5th graders or not?

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I don't really care,

dude.

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Yes, you do!

Now dig!

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♪ Outside the snow

is falling ♪

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♪ And friends are

calling yoo-hoo ♪

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Okay, it's almost open,

ready?

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One, two, three!

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Whoa, dude.

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Oh my God.

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Hi, Grandma...

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Hi Kyle.

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Aagh!

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Have you been

a good boy, Kyle?

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Have you been making

Grandma proud?

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Dammit, Cartman,

that's not funny!

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Yes, it is.

00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:02,798

Heh, I'm sweet.

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Alright, alright, let's just

get this over with

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so we can put her back.

00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:06,427

Okay,

grab the sled.

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♪ Silver bells,

silver bells ♪

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♪ It's Christmas time,

you guys... ♪

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Okay, let's just

hide her here,

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and tomorrow during

the Halloween party,

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we'll come back

in our costumes,

00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:23,902

and use her to scare

the 5th graders!

00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:25,696

How exactly are we gonna

use her to scare them?

00:07:25,821 --> 00:07:27,614

We could shove a stick up her

ass and use her like a puppet.

00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:29,700

Rar! Rar!

I'm scary grandma!

00:07:29,825 --> 00:07:30,826

Alright,

that does it, Cartman!

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That's my grandma!

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You show some Goddamned

respect!

00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:36,707

What was that?

00:07:36,832 --> 00:07:37,416

Cartman!

00:07:37,541 --> 00:07:38,375

It wasn't me!

00:07:40,419 --> 00:07:41,253

Dude, not cool,

this is scary.

00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:43,672

Aaaghghgh!

00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,674

Hey, like,

it's just some kids.

00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:48,427

Oh, whew! I was really scared

there for a second.

00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:49,636

Hey, you're that

band, Korn!

00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:51,722

Yeah, I'm Jonathan,

and this is Munky,

00:07:51,847 --> 00:07:53,015

David, Fieldy, and Head.

00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:54,850

And over there's

our pal, Niblet.

00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,351

Hey, where'd Niblet go?

00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:58,562

Mm-mm, Niblet likes

potato chips!

00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:00,105

Niblett!

00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:01,482

Hee-hee.

00:08:01,607 --> 00:08:03,066

What are you guys

doing out here?

00:08:03,192 --> 00:08:04,401

We were just driving our van

when all of a sudden,

00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:06,737

we were run off the road by

some super spooky pirate ghosts.

00:08:06,862 --> 00:08:08,780

Aw, dude, that was just

the 5th graders!

00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:10,741

Yeah, they're trying to scare

everybody cuz they're gaywads.

00:08:10,866 --> 00:08:12,409

But don't worry, we're about

to go get them back.

00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:14,119

Oh, swell, we're supposed to

play here tomorrow.

00:08:14,244 --> 00:08:15,245

Do you know where

the stage is?

00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:16,705

Yeah, dude,

its right over there.

00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,165

O-Kay!

00:08:18,290 --> 00:08:20,000

Oh hi, we're Korn.

00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:21,919

We're supposed to play

the Halloween concert tomorrow.

00:08:22,044 --> 00:08:24,254

I know who you are and

what you stand for.

00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:26,840

I think your music and

Halloween is an abomination!

00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:28,759

Groovy, could you show us

where to set up?

00:08:28,884 --> 00:08:30,886

Alright, let's just set her

over here behind these boxes.

00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,638

Shouldn't we hide her

better than that?

00:08:32,763 --> 00:08:34,306

Kyle, will you stop

worrying? God!

00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:35,724

Now, we'll all meet back here

tomorrow with our costumes,

00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,267

and then when the Halloween

party gets going,

00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:38,477

we'll bust out

his dead gram-gram.

00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:39,770

Let's go!

00:08:39,895 --> 00:08:40,479

Wait till you guys

see my costume!

00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:41,271

It's gonna be sweet!

00:08:43,482 --> 00:08:44,858

Oh come on, Kenny, you never

have a sweet costume.

00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,276

You're not gonna win

the costume contest.

00:08:57,079 --> 00:08:58,705

Grrr...

00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:04,670

Hold on, kids!

00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:05,921

Mrs. Brovlovski?

00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,005

Yes?

00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:08,674

We're from Mt. Peaceful

Cemetery.

00:09:08,799 --> 00:09:10,259

Could we have a word

with you?

00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:12,135

Uh, sure, come in.

00:09:14,638 --> 00:09:15,597

What is it?

00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:16,890

Mrs. Broflovski,

00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:19,351

somebody has defiled

your mother's grave.

00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:20,811

Defiled? How?

00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:23,146

Well, I'm afraid that...

somebody dug her up.

00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:24,231

Dug her up?

00:09:24,356 --> 00:09:25,732

Why?

00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:27,651

Well, the most likely

reason is that

00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:29,278

somebody wanted to have

sex with her dead body.

00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:30,320

Yup.

00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:31,780

What!

00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,407

We don't want to upset you,

but it happens.

00:09:33,532 --> 00:09:36,285

Somebody's probably making love

to her corpse as we speak.

00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:39,162

Every vile position, every

disrespectful act imaginable.

00:09:39,288 --> 00:09:40,872

Oh dear God!

00:09:40,998 --> 00:09:42,833

Yes, by now he's probably

even removed her eyes

00:09:42,958 --> 00:09:45,085

and made love to the

empty sockets, as well.

00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:46,712

Ohh!

00:09:46,837 --> 00:09:47,754

Now, we don't want to upset you,

but you should know that

00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:49,798

your mother's body

would be stiff and dry,

00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,466

so he would have to have it

soaked in warm water

00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:53,176

for several hours before

making love to it.

00:09:53,302 --> 00:09:54,636

Ohhhh!

00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,179

Yes, and now for the

difficult part--

00:09:56,305 --> 00:09:57,723

brace yourself.

00:09:57,848 --> 00:09:59,516

It is highly possible that

he has created new orifices

00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:01,059

in her decomposing flesh,

00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:02,185

leaving her to look

something like

00:10:02,311 --> 00:10:04,187

an overloved hunk

of Swiss cheese.

00:10:04,313 --> 00:10:05,606

She probably--

00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:06,940

Okay, okay!

I get the point!

00:10:07,065 --> 00:10:09,443

Just tell me what you're

gonna do about it!

00:10:10,444 --> 00:10:11,987

Do?

00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,655

Oh, we don't do anything,

we're just the watchmen.

00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:14,448

Yeah, I guess maybe

you might want to

00:10:14,573 --> 00:10:15,782

call the police,

or something.

00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:16,908

Agh!

00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,370

Now, he probably would

make love to the dead body

00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:21,705

in a cool, dry place,

00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:23,915

so as to not allow

further decomposition...

00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:28,295

Package delivery

for Mrs. Cartman.

00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:29,504

A package?

00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:30,881

Oh, really...

00:10:31,006 --> 00:10:33,175

Well, I think I can

sign for that.

00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,927

Sign he'a,

and he'a...and he'a.

00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:37,137

I got a Christmas

pres-ent!

00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:38,347

I got a Christmas

pres-ent!

00:10:38,472 --> 00:10:40,057

Maybe I can see

what it is,

00:10:40,182 --> 00:10:42,309

I'll just open

one little corner...

00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:44,478

Let's see...

00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:45,896

Aw, screw it,

I'll rewrap it later.

00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:47,481

Oh sweet!

00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:50,108

Life-Sized Blow-Up

Antonio Banderas Love Doll!

00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:53,070

With realistic

geni-tal-ia...

00:10:53,195 --> 00:10:54,738

Oh, this kicks ass!

00:10:54,863 --> 00:10:57,991

What a cool Christmas

present my mom got!

00:10:58,116 --> 00:10:59,868

It's Halloween day,

so come on down to the docks

00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,536

and bring your costumes!

00:11:01,662 --> 00:11:03,121

Where's Kenny?

00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:04,498

He said he had the best

Halloween costume ever.

00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:05,499

Nya nya nya nya nya nya!

00:11:05,624 --> 00:11:06,750

Guess wha-hat I got!

00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:08,543

Antonio Banderas

Blow-Up Doll!

00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:10,087

You guys

didn't get one!

00:11:10,212 --> 00:11:11,630

Where's your costume,

fat ass?

00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:13,590

Screw Halloween, I already

got my Christmas present!

00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:14,925

In a few days

I'll wrap it back up,

00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:16,301

and then when I open it

on Christmas,

00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:18,595

I'll act all surprised,

like, "oh, Mother!

00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:21,431

"Antonio Banderas Life-Sized

Blow-Up Doll, what a surprise!"

00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:30,023

Hey, Kenny.

00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:33,235

Nice costume, Kenny.

00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,528

You think you're gonna win

with that? Ha!

00:11:34,653 --> 00:11:35,612

Alright, the 5th graders

are gonna be here soon.

00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:36,697

Let's get Kyle's

grandma.

00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:37,906

This is gonna be sweet!

00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,450

Uhh, problem guys.

00:11:40,575 --> 00:11:41,243

What's the problem?

00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:42,369

No grandma.

00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:43,537

No grandma?!

00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:44,496

No grandma.

00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:45,914

She's not here!

00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:46,998

She has to be here.

00:11:47,124 --> 00:11:48,417

Well,

she's not here!

00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:50,085

That's just great!

00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:51,920

Thanks a lot Stan, you're

gonna get me busted again!

00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,880

Okay, people, I know we all

want to get down to the docks

00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:55,298

for the Halloween Haunt,

00:11:55,424 --> 00:11:57,050

but first, we just need to

inform you about

00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:58,677

the people or persons

out there

00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:00,220

digging up bodies to

have sex with them.

00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:01,888

Gentlemen?

00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:03,265

Good afternoon,

ladies and gentlemen.

00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,892

A person who steals bodies

to have sex with them

00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:07,853

is called

a "necrophiliac".

00:12:07,978 --> 00:12:09,438

So that you all know

what to expect,

00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:11,189

my partner Alan has

drawn a sketch

00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:14,526

of what having sex with

a dead body might look like.

00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:16,361

Ewwwohh!

00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:17,779

Yes, we know

it's horrible.

00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,239

It's probably best

you not look at it.

00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:22,409

Now, Alan will demonstrate what

having sex with a dead body

00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:25,287

might sound like.

00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:30,459

Ewwwohh!

00:12:31,710 --> 00:12:33,086

Excuse me,

how is this helping?

00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:34,921

That's it, folks,

now we can all go to the docks

00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:36,798

and enjoy

the Halloween Haunt!

00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,550

No! Don't go to

the docks!

00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:39,968

Arrggh!

00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:42,721

Arrggh,

I'm Captain Blye!

00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:45,390

You landlubbers had better

stay away from the docks,

00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:47,309

or else there'll be

hell to pay!

00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:50,020

Fire the cannons!

00:12:53,148 --> 00:12:54,524

Ahh!

00:12:54,649 --> 00:12:56,026

Har har har!

00:12:57,944 --> 00:12:59,237

Arggggh!

00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:01,364

We won't warn ya again!

00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:02,866

Stay away from

our docks!

00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:07,537

I warned you!

00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:09,164

I told you this

would happen!

00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,166

When you allow bands like Korn

to come to town

00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,460

and play your heathenistic

Halloween concerts,

00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:15,128

this is what you get!

00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:21,259

Great rehearsal, gang,

that was really groovy!

00:13:21,384 --> 00:13:23,220

Let's practice one more time

before the show starts!

00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:24,638

Uh guys, I'm sorry,

00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:26,348

but the Halloween Haunt's

been cancelled.

00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:27,641

Cancelled?!

00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:28,975

You best clear

outta here,

00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,477

there's pirate ghosts

and they'll kill ya.

00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:32,437

Well, gang, it looks like

we have to pack it up.

00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:33,980

Awwww!

00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:35,148

Goddammit, now what the hell

are we gonna do?

00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:37,359

Oh hey, the kids

from last night.

00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:40,487

Wow, is that the Antonio Banderas

Life-Sized Blow-Up Doll?

00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:47,786

Hey, Kenny.

00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:50,038

Say, what's the matter?

00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,540

You kids look

kinda glum.

00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:52,666

Somebody took

my dead grandma.

00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:54,543

What?

00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:55,794

We dug her up because we wanted

to scare these 5th graders,

00:13:55,919 --> 00:13:57,045

but then something

took her body away.

00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,506

Now she's doomed to walk

the Earth in limbo!

00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:02,133

Aw, I hate to see

little clowns cry.

00:14:02,259 --> 00:14:03,301

Well, that does it!

00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:04,803

Something funny

is going on here.

00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:06,054

Your missing grandma must

be connected somehow

00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:07,848

to those creepy

pirate ghosts.

00:14:07,973 --> 00:14:09,599

They're not pirate ghosts,

Jonathan,

00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:11,476

they're ghost pirates.

- Huh?

00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:13,353

"Pirate ghost" would suggest

that a pirate died

00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:14,521

and became a ghost.

00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:16,189

But "ghost pirate"

is a ghost

00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:18,149

that later made a conscious

decision to be a pirate.

00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:19,734

No, David, then they are

"pirate ghosts",

00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:21,486

because they're

the ghosts of pirates.

00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,280

You're wrong, because there

were no pirates in Colorado.

00:14:23,405 --> 00:14:26,032

So, these must be ghosts that

decided to become pirates after the fact.

00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:27,576

But that makes them

pirate ghosts!

00:14:27,701 --> 00:14:28,994

No, it makes them

ghost pirates!

00:14:29,119 --> 00:14:29,786

Pirate ghosts!

00:14:29,911 --> 00:14:31,538

Guys! Guys! Guys!

00:14:31,663 --> 00:14:33,498

Fighting isn't gonna

solve anything!

00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:35,333

Don't you see, this is exactly

what those ghost pirates

00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:36,626

want us to do!

00:14:36,751 --> 00:14:37,586

Pirate ghosts!

00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:38,587

Then,

you'll help us?

00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:40,213

Sure we'll help you.

00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:41,423

If there's one thing we like

more than playing music,

00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:42,841

it's solving

a groovy mystery.

00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:44,134

Alright!

00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:47,679

Is everybody okay?

00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,514

People stealing bodies

to have sex with them,

00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:50,849

pirate ghosts destroying

the town...

00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:52,934

when did everything

go so wrong?

00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:55,353

I hate to say it, but I think

Priest Maxi was right.

00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:57,355

This is what we get for

celebrating Halloween

00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,274

and allowing that band Korn

to come play.

00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,401

He's right! Nothing ever

went wrong in this town,

00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:03,612

before that evil Korn band

showed up!

00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,280

Well, I say

we go find them

00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,240

and kick their devil-worshiping

butts out of town!

00:15:07,365 --> 00:15:09,784

Yeah! Let's get 'em!

00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:11,453

Lynch mob!

00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:14,122

Down with Korn!

00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:19,419

So this is where you last saw

your dead grandma?

00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:20,962

Right, maybe there really

are pirate ghosts,

00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,589

and they took her inside!

00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:24,466

Alright, gang! We have to

split up and look for clues.

00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:25,884

How should we

split up?

00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:27,677

I know, let's have

everyone who enjoys

00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:29,596

having obstacles in their life which they can

overcome go this way,

00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:32,098

and everyone whose insecurities

sabotage their potential

00:15:32,223 --> 00:15:34,309

to overcome those obstacles,

go that way.

00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:35,727

O-kay!

00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:41,316

Wow, that was easy.

00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,568

Here's their van!

Here's their van!

00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:44,861

Let's flip it over!

00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:46,321

Those bastards!

- Yeah!

00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:47,989

Okay, people,

let's try to stay orderly!

00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:49,532

The best way to do this

00:15:49,658 --> 00:15:52,369

is all get on one side

and push it from the top.

00:15:52,494 --> 00:15:54,037

Devil worshipers!

00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:55,538

Yeah!

00:15:55,664 --> 00:15:57,165

C'mon, they gotta be

around here somewhere!

00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:58,124

This place gives me

the creeps.

00:15:58,249 --> 00:16:00,835

Say, this looks like

a clue...

00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:02,545

"Pirate Lore

of South Park".

00:16:02,671 --> 00:16:05,298

Hm, now why would pirate ghosts

need a book on pirates?

00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:07,634

W-what was that?

00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:08,677

The noise came from

in here.

00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:11,054

Stay close,

everybody.

00:16:12,347 --> 00:16:14,307

Oh no,

I lost my glasses!

00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:16,101

What does his dead grandma

look like?

00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:19,020

She was all like crunchy

and crispy and stuff.

00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:21,314

Hey, I got an idea,

we should set a groovy trap!

00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:22,607

Good idea!

00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,359

How do we trap a bunch

of pirate ghosts?

00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:27,112

We need something that might

catch their eye to use as bait.

00:16:27,237 --> 00:16:29,489

I know! Your Antonio

Banderas love doll!

00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:30,907

Oh no, this is my

Christmas present.

00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:32,075

If anything

happens to it,

00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,451

my mom will know

I opened it early.

00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:35,412

Come on, kid, we all

have to do our part.

00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:36,913

Even Antonio.

00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:39,958

My glasses got to be around

here somewhere...

00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:41,376

Is that you, Jonathan?

00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,211

Boy, am I glad to see you!

I lost my glasses.

00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:44,462

Arrrghghhh!

00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:46,214

Hey, you got a cold,

Jonathan?

00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:47,757

arrrrrggghh!

00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:49,217

Yeah, that's sounds like

a groovy song, man.

00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,593

Remember that one.

00:16:50,719 --> 00:16:52,429

Fieldy,

what are you doing?!

00:16:52,554 --> 00:16:53,972

Oh, I was talking

to you, Jonathan.

00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:55,640

Hey, wait a minute.

00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:57,892

If you're over there,

then how can you be over here?

00:16:58,018 --> 00:17:00,103

Unless you're

actually a--

00:17:00,228 --> 00:17:01,730

p-p-pirate ghost!

00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:03,440

Aarrrrgghh!

00:17:03,565 --> 00:17:05,108

Okay, here's how

the trap will work:

00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:06,401

when the pirate ghosts

walk in,

00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,653

they should go right for

Antonio Banderas.

00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:10,113

When they hit

the super slippery floor,

00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:11,948

they'll slide onto

this mining cart,

00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:14,200

which should travel down this

path into the next room,

00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:15,785

where the fishnet

will fall on them.

00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:16,870

Wow, cool!

00:17:16,995 --> 00:17:18,830

Hey,

somebody's coming!

00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:20,832

Aaaaghgh!

00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:22,000

We've got to hide!

00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:22,876

Hey, there's

Antonio Banderas!

00:17:23,001 --> 00:17:23,877

He'll help us!

00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:24,878

Mr. Banderas--

00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:25,879

Jonathan, no!

00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:29,924

Aaahhhh!

00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:30,884

Oh, no!

00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:32,302

Aah!

00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:33,511

Hold on, guys!

00:17:35,889 --> 00:17:36,931

Alright, Korn!

00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:38,099

Time for you to

get out of town!

00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:39,893

Arrghghh!

00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:41,478

Aaaaaahhhh!

00:17:41,603 --> 00:17:43,354

Korn is sending their

demon minions upon us!

00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:44,981

Aaaaahhh!!

00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:46,858

Alright, gang!

00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:49,277

Looks like we're gonna have to

use our special Korn powers!

00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,279

Korn powers vitalize!

00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:52,489

Munky! David!

00:17:52,614 --> 00:17:53,406

Fieldy! Head!

00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:54,115

Jonathan!

00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,493

Form of... corn!

00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:14,677

Alright!

Great job, gang!

00:18:14,803 --> 00:18:16,054

That didn't help at all!

00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:17,722

We know,

it's just cool to do.

00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:18,932

Aarrrgghh!

00:18:19,057 --> 00:18:20,725

Niblet!

00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:24,312

Niblet!

00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:25,897

What the hell

is that thing?

00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:27,732

You did it, Niblet,

you trapped them!

00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:30,527

Yeah, and now let's see who

these pirate ghosts really are!

00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:33,571

Oh, I guess they really were

pirate ghosts.

00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:36,366

Alright, Korn, you can stop

your demonic shenanigans

00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:38,368

and come downtown

with me!

00:18:38,493 --> 00:18:39,911

He he, look what

Niblet sees!

00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:41,287

Ohh!

00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:42,622

What the--

00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:44,332

Father Maxi?

00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:45,542

Well, what are you

waiting for, Barbrady?

00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:46,668

Arrest that band!

00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:47,627

Oh?

00:18:47,752 --> 00:18:48,753

No, arrest him!

00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:50,171

Huh?

00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:52,340

I think I've got this

groovy mystery solved!

00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:56,553

Well, I must say, I still

don't get this at all.

00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:58,721

It's simple, Priest Maxi didn't

want there to be a Halloween,

00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:01,015

so he decided to scare everyone

away from the docks.

00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:03,852

Yeah, and then he used this

flashlight and some cotton swabs

00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,228

to create the ghosts.

00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:09,357

Then all he needed was

some sound effects,

00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,192

created by this cup and

a piece of cheese.

00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:13,069

Aaarrgghh!

00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:15,446

And all he had to do then

was create a ghost ship,

00:19:15,572 --> 00:19:18,741

by using some candles,

a mirror, and two squirrels.

00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:22,662

Father, why did you

go to all this trouble?

00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:25,123

Because Halloween is an

abomination of God.

00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:27,959

I would anything to stop this

wretched, unholy holiday!

00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:29,460

Including killing people

and wreaking havoc

00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:31,379

all over South Park?

00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,006

Don't you see that by

trying to stop Halloween

00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:34,632

you've scared the hell

out of everybody?

00:19:34,757 --> 00:19:36,134

No.

00:19:36,259 --> 00:19:38,428

Okay, buddy, you can

explain downtown!

00:19:38,553 --> 00:19:40,096

Well, this is all

fine and good,

00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:41,931

but it doesn't explain what

happened to my mother's body.

00:19:42,056 --> 00:19:43,391

Yeah, where's Grandma?

00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:48,396

Blehhh!

00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:49,814

Eeewwww!

00:19:53,151 --> 00:19:54,694

Blehhh!

00:19:54,819 --> 00:19:55,695

There she is!

00:19:55,820 --> 00:19:57,071

Ooohhh!

00:19:57,197 --> 00:19:58,448

Well, thanks a lot,

Korn.

00:19:58,573 --> 00:20:00,783

Your Korn powers really

came through for us.

00:20:00,909 --> 00:20:02,368

Yes, we were

wrong about you.

00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:03,828

Will you please play

for our Halloween party?

00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:04,871

Well, sure!

00:20:04,996 --> 00:20:05,830

Why the heck not?

00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:07,373

Alright!

00:20:07,498 --> 00:20:09,209

Aaarrgghh!

00:20:09,334 --> 00:20:10,627

Oh no, the pirate ghosts

are back!

00:20:12,086 --> 00:20:13,671

Niblet!

00:20:13,796 --> 00:20:15,548

Uh-oh...

00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:20,970

Well, this sure has been

a wacky night.

00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:23,056

But me and the gang learned

a lot, and we hope you did, too.

00:20:23,181 --> 00:20:24,849

You all perceived us

to be mean, evil people,

00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:26,517

but really we're just

normal guys.

00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:28,144

And we all perceived

pirate ghosts to be real,

00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:29,729

when actually they were

just cotton swabs.

00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:31,606

So I guess the lesson is:

00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,483

it's easy to perceive something

some way and then be wrong.

00:20:33,608 --> 00:20:35,526

So we all need to learn to be

a little less perceptive.

00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:37,528

Yeah...

00:20:37,654 --> 00:20:38,905

The gang and I wrote

a song about it

00:20:39,030 --> 00:20:40,907

and it goes a little

something like this.

00:20:41,032 --> 00:20:42,533

And a-1 and a-2 and a--

00:20:42,659 --> 00:20:44,077

Booo!!

00:20:52,794 --> 00:20:54,879

♪ Hey I'm feeling

tired ♪

00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:56,798

♪ My time is

gone today... ♪

00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:58,049

Booo!

00:20:58,174 --> 00:20:59,259

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

00:20:59,384 --> 00:21:00,760

Sweet!

00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:03,429

♪ Do what

I must say... ♪

00:21:03,554 --> 00:21:05,390

Antonio, noo!

00:21:05,515 --> 00:21:07,350

You son-of-a-bitch chicken

from outer space!

00:21:07,475 --> 00:21:08,685

Come back here!

00:21:08,810 --> 00:21:10,436

♪ Falling away

from me ♪

00:21:12,981 --> 00:21:15,775

And the winner of

the costume contest is...

00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:18,152

Wendy, for her

Chewbacca costume!

00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:20,154

Come on up, Wendy.

00:21:23,157 --> 00:21:26,619

♪ Beating me,

beating me down ♪

00:21:26,744 --> 00:21:27,912

♪ Down ♪

00:21:28,037 --> 00:21:30,164

♪ Into the ground ♪

00:21:30,290 --> 00:21:32,500

♪ Screaming some sound ♪

00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:35,920

♪ Beating me

beating me down ♪

00:21:36,045 --> 00:21:37,297

♪ Down ♪

00:21:37,422 --> 00:21:39,173

♪ Into the ground... ♪

00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,000

Перевод и адаптация: LazyMax.

Тайминг: BigBorman.

00:00:36,300 --> 00:00:39,053

Мы в прямом эфире на радио

УЮТ FM 102,1 из нашего

хэллоуинского уголка привидений

00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:40,937

в доках Южного Парка.

Приходите сюда!

00:00:41,020 --> 00:00:42,738

У нас здесь кошмарный

домик с привидениями,

00:00:42,820 --> 00:00:44,048

и все украшают его

к завтрашней ночи, к празднику:

00:00:44,140 --> 00:00:47,098

Хэллоуин!! – празднику,

на котором группа КоРн – да-да,

КОРН!! – даст концерт живьём!

00:00:47,180 --> 00:00:48,693

И не забудьте завтра надеть свои костюмы,

00:00:48,780 --> 00:00:50,611

потому что у нас большой первый приз!

00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:53,009

О, вот несколько ребятишек, уже веселящихся

в нашем кошмарном уголке привидений!

00:00:53,100 --> 00:00:54,692

Мальчики, что вы можете

сказать о хэллоуинском уголке

00:00:54,780 --> 00:00:56,691

привидений УЮТ FM на этот момент?

00:00:58,460 --> 00:01:00,098

Как-то раз, примерно восемь месяцев назад,

00:01:00,180 --> 00:01:01,533

я видел двух парней, целовавшихся в парке.

00:01:01,620 --> 00:01:02,939

И это было самое кошмарное,

что я видел в своей жизни,

00:01:03,020 --> 00:01:04,976

до того, как я увидел

уголок привидений УЮТ FM.

00:01:05,060 --> 00:01:07,813

А-атлично! Что ж, наслаждайтесь

нашими кошмарными доками, малыши!

00:01:07,900 --> 00:01:09,891

Эй, пацаны, пацаны!

Вы знаете, какое сейчас время года?

00:01:09,980 --> 00:01:12,016

- Конечно, жиртрест, сейчас – Хэллоуин.

- Точняк!

00:01:12,100 --> 00:01:14,200

И это значит, что осталось

всего два месяца до Рождества!

00:01:14,205 --> 00:01:16,210

Наконец сбываются все мечты,

лучший мой подарочек – это ты.

А ну-ка, давай-ка...

00:01:16,220 --> 00:01:17,209

Рождества?!

00:01:17,300 --> 00:01:19,018

Рождество – это подарки для меняяяя!

00:01:19,100 --> 00:01:22,649

Вот фигня! Уходим, Нэд,

это – НЕ домик СО ШМАРАМИ,

это – домик с КО-шмарами.

00:01:25,060 --> 00:01:28,257

- Кошмарная лаборатория, пацаны!

- Это тупо, Картман.

00:01:28,340 --> 00:01:29,489

Они просто засовывают

твою руку в холодные спагетти

00:01:29,580 --> 00:01:30,615

и говорят тебе, что это -

кишечник и прочая дрянь.

00:01:30,700 --> 00:01:32,133

Да? А я иду в Кошмарную лабораторию!!

00:01:32,220 --> 00:01:34,176

Джингл бэллс, джингл бэллс...

00:01:34,980 --> 00:01:36,652

Добро пожаловать в Кошмарную лабораторию.

00:01:36,740 --> 00:01:40,210

Я - Ваш гид, доктор Кошмапуг.

Позвольте мне сопровождать

Вас в моей лаборатории.

00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:43,292

- Круто!

- Здесь у меня миска

с человеческими глазными яблоками.

00:01:44,900 --> 00:01:46,413

А сейчас можешь пощупать настоящие мозги.

00:01:46,500 --> 00:01:48,297

О-го, ярко!

00:01:48,380 --> 00:01:51,690

А здесь можешь пощупать

внутренности – кишечник.

00:01:52,540 --> 00:01:54,178

Э-эй, по ощущениям,

как холодные спагетти!

00:01:54,260 --> 00:01:56,057

Эй, пацаны, это похоже

на холодные спагетти!!!

00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:57,935

"ЗАВТРА КОНКУРС КОСТЮМОВ"

(Па..ны, я х..чу попроб..ть

выиг..ть э..т кон..урс ко..мов!)

00:01:57,940 --> 00:01:59,851

И не думай, Кенни!

Тебе никогда не выиграть

этот конкурс костюмов!

00:01:59,940 --> 00:02:01,134

Твои костюмы всегда самые отсосные.

00:02:01,220 --> 00:02:02,573

Бууу!

00:02:04,380 --> 00:02:06,257

Мы напугали вас, салабоны!

00:02:06,340 --> 00:02:08,217

- М-мы не испугались!

- Так уж и нет?

00:02:08,300 --> 00:02:11,451

А и не скажешь. Пираты-призраки

идут сюда, чтобы забрать вас!

00:02:11,540 --> 00:02:12,893

- Чего?

- Вы чё, не знаете?

00:02:12,980 --> 00:02:14,777

Это – старая легенда Южного Парка,

которая говорит,

00:02:14,860 --> 00:02:17,374

что эти доки – любимое

место пиратов-призраков.

00:02:17,460 --> 00:02:18,449

Не-а.

00:02:18,540 --> 00:02:21,691

Да-а. Они бродят по этим докам

с саблями и крюками вместо рук,

00:02:21,780 --> 00:02:24,089

выискивая жертв, чтобы разрубить их!

00:02:25,100 --> 00:02:27,216

Это – всего лишь старая легенда.

00:02:29,180 --> 00:02:30,818

Снова купились!

00:02:30,940 --> 00:02:32,134

Только подождите до завтра!

00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:35,451

Мы напугаем вас, детишки, до смерти!

00:02:35,540 --> 00:02:38,338

Эй, пацаны, моя рука сейчас

в натуре пахнет спагетти. Понюхайте.

00:02:38,420 --> 00:02:39,978

Достали пятиклассники,

всё время нас пугают.

00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:41,493

Мы должны придумать, как напугать их!

00:02:41,580 --> 00:02:42,774

Да, посмотрим, как им это понравится!

00:02:42,860 --> 00:02:45,499

Ко мне присоединился отец

Макси из церкви Южного Парка.

00:02:45,580 --> 00:02:48,048

Отец, что Вы думаете обо всех

приготовлениях здесь в доках?

00:02:48,140 --> 00:02:52,292

Хэллоуин – это ересь и богохульство!

Праздник оккультизма!

00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:54,257

Да, а как насчёт группы КоРн

и их большого концерта завтра?

00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:55,375

Захватывающе, а?

00:02:55,460 --> 00:02:58,099

КоРн – это группа демонопоклонников,

которые играют агрессивную музыку!

00:02:58,180 --> 00:03:01,536

Если мы позволим этой демонской

группе играть на этом самом

нечестивом из праздников,

00:03:01,620 --> 00:03:03,690

мы можем привлечь к себе гнев дьявола!

00:03:03,780 --> 00:03:05,816

Отлично, увидимся завтра на Хэллоуине!

00:03:05,900 --> 00:03:08,368

А пока на радио УЮТ…

...УЮТный хит Барри Манилова.

00:03:09,100 --> 00:03:11,295

Давайте, пацаны, думайте!

Как нам напугать этих пятиклассников?

00:03:11,380 --> 00:03:13,177

Должно быть что-то действительно страшное.

00:03:13,260 --> 00:03:15,330

Мы можем достать большого

страшного пластикового паука,

00:03:15,420 --> 00:03:17,650

подвесить перед ними на веревочке...

00:03:17,740 --> 00:03:19,332

Кошмарный паук... это довольно страшно...

00:03:19,420 --> 00:03:20,455

Это не страшно, жиртрест!

00:03:20,540 --> 00:03:22,053

Ну, хватит!

Мы можем придумать что-нибудь получше

00:03:22,140 --> 00:03:24,210

дурацких пиратов-призраков!

00:03:32,020 --> 00:03:33,772

Вы уверены, что мы едем правильно?

00:03:33,860 --> 00:03:36,135

Не знаю. Эта карта абсолютно бессмысленная.

00:03:36,220 --> 00:03:40,657

Это потому, что ты её держишь

вверх ногами, тормоз!

00:03:40,780 --> 00:03:42,691

Когда мы уже дотянемся

на точку? Я жрать хочу!

00:03:42,780 --> 00:03:45,692

Не думай об этом.

Продолжаем играть в нашу игру. Готовы?

00:03:45,780 --> 00:03:48,499

Я вижу перед собой кое-что на букву "Д".

00:03:48,580 --> 00:03:51,333

- Я знаю! Дерево!

- В точку!

00:03:51,420 --> 00:03:55,538

Я вижу перед собой кое-что c буквой "Р".

00:03:55,620 --> 00:03:56,939

Дорога?

00:03:57,020 --> 00:03:58,135

Конечно!

00:04:05,060 --> 00:04:06,971

Ладно, а вот ещё. Я вижу перед собой

00:04:07,060 --> 00:04:08,857

кое-что на букву "П".

00:04:08,940 --> 00:04:10,134

На букву "П"?

00:04:10,220 --> 00:04:11,972

Что за хрень начинается на букву "П"?

00:04:12,060 --> 00:04:13,698

П-п-пираты-привидения!

00:04:25,500 --> 00:04:27,570

Мам, тебе пришел новый каталог Даффи!

00:04:27,660 --> 00:04:31,016

Я подчеркну всё,

что я хочу на Рождество, окей..?

00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:32,579

Мам? Окей?

00:04:34,300 --> 00:04:35,892

Ладно, посмотрим...

00:04:35,980 --> 00:04:37,971

Я хочу это...

00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:39,652

и это...

00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:43,897

и... так, идет в комплекте с...

00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:48,000

...идёт с двумя ручками,

так... сейчас...

ну-ка, ну-ка, посмотрим...

00:04:48,900 --> 00:04:50,219

Эрик, пришли твои маленькие друзья.

00:04:50,300 --> 00:04:51,938

Мам, мам, хочешь взглянуть,

что я хочу на Рождество?

00:04:52,020 --> 00:04:53,692

Эрик, сейчас только Хэллоуин.

00:04:53,780 --> 00:04:55,896

Это значит, что у тебя

для шоппинга осталось всего 72 дня!

00:04:55,980 --> 00:04:57,015

Давай, толстозадый, нам надо идти!

00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:59,011

Эй! Не называй меня толстым!

00:04:59,860 --> 00:05:02,499

- Мам, не смейся!

- Извини, милый.

00:05:02,580 --> 00:05:05,538

- Я не могу прямо сейчас

идти с вами, пацаны.

- Можешь, можешь, свинёнок.

00:05:05,620 --> 00:05:07,292

Мам, в натуре!

00:05:07,380 --> 00:05:10,452

О, это не смешно, мальчики.

Эрик не толстый, у него кость широкая.

00:05:10,540 --> 00:05:13,338

Тогда самая широкая кость

у него должна быть в заднице!

00:05:14,780 --> 00:05:16,008

Чёрт-блин-возьми, мам!

00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:17,169

Господи, я ненавижу вас, пацаны!

00:05:17,260 --> 00:05:18,852

Короче, мы придумали,

как напугать пятиклассников.

00:05:18,940 --> 00:05:20,692

- Как?

- Какая самая страшная штука,

которую мы можем достать?

00:05:20,780 --> 00:05:23,499

- Кошмарный паук?

- Нет! Труп мертвеца.

00:05:23,580 --> 00:05:24,808

Да, жиртрест, труп мертвеца.

00:05:24,900 --> 00:05:26,492

Ты имеешь в виду, что мы сделаем что-то,

что будет выглядеть, как труп мертвеца?

00:05:26,580 --> 00:05:27,979

Нам никогда не сделать то,

что будет выглядеть по-настоящему.

00:05:28,060 --> 00:05:30,369

Чтобы быть действительно страшным,

труп должен быть настоящим.

00:05:30,460 --> 00:05:32,416

Да, жиртрест, он должен быть

настоящим, чтоб быть страшным.

00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:33,819

Короче, и где, нафиг,

мы возьмем настоящего мертвеца?

00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,697

Мы выкопаем мёртвую бабушку Кайла.

00:05:35,780 --> 00:05:37,691

Да, жиртрест, мы выкопаем...

00:05:37,780 --> 00:05:39,213

...выкопаем мёртвую бабушку Кайла?!

00:05:39,300 --> 00:05:41,291

Блин, она как раз в тему.

Она умерла всего примерно

три месяца назад, да?

00:05:41,380 --> 00:05:43,814

- У тебя крыша поехала?

- Оба-на, это клёвая идея!

00:05:43,900 --> 00:05:46,619

Блин! Мы не будем откапывать мою

бабушку, у меня будут неприятности.

00:05:46,700 --> 00:05:47,928

Всё, что нам нужно сделать –

это прокрасться на кладбище,

00:05:48,020 --> 00:05:49,214

откопать её, напугать пятиклассников,

00:05:49,300 --> 00:05:50,892

а потом положить её обратно до того,

как кто-либо заметит, что она пропала.

00:05:50,980 --> 00:05:53,892

- Давайте откопаем кого-нибудь другого.

- Расслабься, чувак. Невелико дело!

00:05:53,980 --> 00:05:55,857

Подумай об этом: если бы твоя бабушка

знала, что она может тебе помочь

00:05:55,940 --> 00:05:57,009

даже после смерти,

она бы с радостью согласилась.

00:05:57,100 --> 00:05:58,453

Это будет прикольно!

00:06:01,700 --> 00:06:04,692

И уносят меня, и уносят меня

00:06:04,780 --> 00:06:07,214

в блестящую снежную даль

00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:08,289

три белых коня, эх, три белых коня...

00:06:08,380 --> 00:06:09,733

Картман, прекрати петь

рождественские песенки!

00:06:09,820 --> 00:06:12,732

Надо все делать тихо, иначе нас поймают!

00:06:12,820 --> 00:06:15,414

Должно быть здесь.

"Клео Брофловски".

00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,331

Моя бабуля.

00:06:17,980 --> 00:06:20,540

- Ну, давайте вскопнём её!

- Стой. Не знаю, круто ли это.

00:06:20,620 --> 00:06:22,451

Конечно круто!!!

Она будет такая погнившая и страшная.

00:06:22,540 --> 00:06:24,132

Не думаю, что моя мама была бы рада.

00:06:24,220 --> 00:06:26,176

"Ой, я не хочу выкапывать

мою мертвую бабулю,

00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:28,251

потому что я такой

примерный пай-мальчик!"

00:06:28,340 --> 00:06:29,409

Пацаны, тихо!

00:06:29,540 --> 00:06:31,212

Так, ты хочешь отплатить пятиклассникам?

00:06:31,300 --> 00:06:34,975

- Реально, мне – всё равно.

- Нет, не всё равно! Давай, копай!

00:06:35,060 --> 00:06:38,848

Если снежинка не растает,

в твоей ладони не растает,

пока часы двенадцать бьют...

00:06:41,980 --> 00:06:45,575

Он почти открыт. Готовы? Раз, два, три!

00:06:47,300 --> 00:06:49,655

- Обана, блин.

- О, Боже...

00:06:52,820 --> 00:06:55,778

- Привет, бабуля!

- "Привет, Кайл!"

00:06:55,860 --> 00:06:57,293

"Ты был хорошим мальчиком, Кайл?"

00:06:57,380 --> 00:06:58,972

"Бабуля может гордиться тобой?"

00:06:59,060 --> 00:07:00,413

Твою же мать, Картман, это не смешно!

00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:02,536

- Ага, не хи-хи смешно.

- Хе-хе, я – клёвый.

00:07:02,620 --> 00:07:04,099

Хорошо, хорошо, давайте уже сделаем это,

00:07:04,180 --> 00:07:06,091

- и тогда мы сможем положить её назад.

- Окей, хватай крышку.

00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:18,818

Новый год к нам мчится,

скоро всё случится...

00:07:18,900 --> 00:07:20,253

Окей, давайте спрячем её тут,

00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:22,012

а завтра во время вечеринки придём сюда

00:07:22,100 --> 00:07:23,772

в костюмах и напугаем ей пятиклассников!

00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:25,452

Как именно мы "ей" их напугаем?

00:07:25,540 --> 00:07:28,373

Мы вставим палку ей в задницу

и будем держать её, как в кукольном театре.

00:07:28,460 --> 00:07:29,609

"Ррр, ррр, я – ужасная Бабуля!"

00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:31,736

Ну всё, хватит, Картман!

Это – моя бабуля!

00:07:31,820 --> 00:07:34,334

Ты должен иметь к ней

немного чёртового уважения!

00:07:36,180 --> 00:07:37,329

- Кто там?

- Картман?!

00:07:37,420 --> 00:07:39,297

Это не я!

00:07:40,180 --> 00:07:42,694

Блин, не круто, реально страшно!

00:07:43,900 --> 00:07:45,697

Эй, так это всего лишь несколько детишек.

00:07:45,780 --> 00:07:48,374

Фу, я реально испугался на секунду.

00:07:48,460 --> 00:07:49,609

Эй, вы из группы КоРн?!

00:07:49,700 --> 00:07:53,056

Ага. Я – Джонатан, это –

Манки, Дэвид, Филди и Хед.

00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:54,698

А там – наш приятель Ниблет.

00:07:54,780 --> 00:07:56,133

Эй, а куда Ниблет делся?

00:07:56,860 --> 00:07:58,816

Угу, Ниблет любит картофельные чипсы.

00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:02,169

А чё это вы тут делаете, а, пацаны?

00:08:02,260 --> 00:08:03,932

Мы только что ехали

в нашем микроавтобусе, и вдруг

00:08:04,020 --> 00:08:07,171

увидели на дороге

супер-страшных пиратов-призраков.

00:08:07,260 --> 00:08:08,773

Да, блин, это –

всего лишь пятиклассники!

00:08:08,860 --> 00:08:10,896

Ага. Они пытаются напугать всех подряд,

потому что они тупорылые гомопендюки.

00:08:10,980 --> 00:08:12,333

Расслабьтесь. Мы скоро им отомстим!

00:08:12,420 --> 00:08:14,138

О, ништяк. Мы, типа,

должны играть тут завтра.

00:08:14,220 --> 00:08:16,415

- Знаете, где сцена?

- Да, блин. Вон там!

00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,050

"Хэллоуин – это безбожие"

00:08:19,060 --> 00:08:20,095

О, привет! Мы – КоРн.

00:08:20,180 --> 00:08:21,977

Мы, типа, должны играть

на концерте в честь Хэллоуина завтра.

00:08:22,060 --> 00:08:24,290

Я знаю, кто вы такие

и на чьей вы стороне!

00:08:24,380 --> 00:08:26,769

Я думаю, ваша музыка

и Хэллоуин – есть мракобесие!

00:08:26,860 --> 00:08:28,657

Ништяк! Покажете, где нам раскладываться?

00:08:28,740 --> 00:08:31,334

Всё, давайте положим её

тут, за этими коробками.

00:08:31,420 --> 00:08:32,535

Может, надо её лучше спрятать?

00:08:32,620 --> 00:08:34,212

Кайл, ты попустишься наконец? Господи!

00:08:34,300 --> 00:08:35,972

Так, завтра мы все придём

сюда в наших костюмах и,

00:08:36,060 --> 00:08:37,334

когда начнётся Хэллоуин-вечеринка,

00:08:37,420 --> 00:08:39,092

мы задействуем нашу

Мёртвую Бабулю! Вперёд!

00:08:39,180 --> 00:08:41,200

Вот увидите, какой у меня чёткий костюм!

00:08:41,300 --> 00:08:45,000

- (Мой ко..тюм такой зло..бучий,

что он бу..т лу..шим за..ра!)

- Ой, да ладно, Кенни!

У тебя никогда не было чёткого костюма!

00:08:45,010 --> 00:08:46,600

Ты никогда не выиграешь конкурс костюмов!

00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:49,933

(Выиг..аю! У м..ня д..ма е..ть ко..тюм!

Вч..ра я по..учил его по п..чте,

и по..ылка б..ла оч..нь бо..шая, ясно?)

00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:05,272

Сейчас, детки!

00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:07,476

- Миссис Брофловски?

- Да.

00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:10,996

Мы – работники

"Безмятежного" кладбища.

Мы могли бы с Вами поговорить?

00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:12,832

Конечно, проходите.

00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:15,949

Что случилось?

00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:20,113

Миссис Брофловски, некто

осквернил могилу вашей матери.

00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:21,394

Осквернил? Как?

00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:23,914

Ну, боюсь, кто-то... выкопал её.

00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,194

Выкопал её? Зачем?

00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:27,157

Ну... В общем, наиболее вероятная причина,

00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:30,073

что кто-то хотел...

совокупиться с её трупом.

00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:31,593

Что?!

00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:33,830

Не хотелось бы Вас расстраивать,

но именно так бывает.

00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:36,639

Наверняка, как мы сказали, кто-то прямо

сейчас занимается любовью с её трупом...

00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:39,837

...ставя её в самые

отвратительные позы, производя

с ней самые мерзкие действия,

которые только можно представить!

00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:40,955

О, господи!

00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:43,554

Да. Наверное, прямо сейчас этот

человек даже вытащил её глаза

00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:46,154

и производит действия сексуального

характера с её пустыми глазницами.

00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:48,196

Не хотелось бы Вас расстраивать,

но вы должны знать,

00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:50,191

что труп вашей матери

должен быть окоченевшим и сухим,

00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,919

поэтому тот человек, скорее всего,

должен был вымачивать её

несколько часов в тёплой воде,

00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,877

прежде, чем заняться с ней любовью.

00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:57,474

- Да. А теперь – самая трудная часть.

- Держитесь!

00:09:57,560 --> 00:10:00,279

Наиболее вероятно, что в сексуальном

экстазе он наделал новых отверстий

00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:02,669

в её разлагающемся теле,

превратив её во что-то, вроде

00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:04,955

затраханного куска

пахучего швейцарского сыра.

00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:06,439

- Скорее всего, она...

- Всё, всё!

00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:10,308

Я уже поняла! Просто скажите мне,

что вы собираетесь делать?

00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:12,919

- Делать?

- О, мы ничего не делаем.

00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,592

- Мы – всего лишь охранники.

- Да, мы думаем,

00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,318

Вы, может быть, хотите вызвать

полицию или что-нибудь ещё...

00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:22,078

А сейчас он, наверное, занимается любовью

с её трупом в холодном и сухом месте,

00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:24,037

чтобы не допустить её

дальнейшего разложения...

00:10:26,680 --> 00:10:29,240

Посылка для Миссис Картман!

00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:31,436

Посылка? Да ну?!

00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:33,476

Что ж, думаю, я могу расписаться за неё!

00:10:33,560 --> 00:10:36,199

Подпишите тут, тут и тут.

00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:37,508

Рождественские подарочки!

00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:39,397

Рождественские подарочки!

00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:43,268

Хоть одним глазком гляну, что там.

Только слегка приоткрою...

00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:44,759

Посмотрим...

00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:46,034

Ничего, потом снова заверну!

00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:50,668

О, прикольно! "Надувной резиновый

Антонио Бандерас в натуральную величину"!

00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:53,877

"С реалистичными гени-та-лия-ми."

00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:55,075

Блин, полный кобзон!

00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:57,913

Какой же крутой подарочек

на Рождество заказала моя мамочка!

00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:02,388

Вот и Хэллоуин, так что, собирайтесь

все у доков и не забудьте ваши костюмы!

00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:04,710

Где же Кенни? Он говорил, что у него

будет самый лучший хэллоуинский костюм!

00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:07,435

А знаете, что у меня есть?

00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:10,592

Надувной резиновый Антонио Бандерас!

У вас, пацаны, такого нет!

00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:11,795

А где твой костюм, жиртрест?

00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,269

Да нафиг Хэллоуин! У меня уже

есть мои рождественские подарочки!

00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:15,713

Через пару деньков

я заверну его обратно в упаковку,

00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,028

и, когда я открою её на Рождество,

00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:19,076

я буду, типа, такой весь

удивлённый, типа: "Ой, мама!"

00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,674

"Надувной резиновый Антонио Бандерас

в натуральную величину! Какой сюрприз!"

00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:30,500

Привет, Кенни!

00:11:30,510 --> 00:11:32,300

(Пр..вет, пац..ны. Зац..ните-ка

м..й чум..вой улёт..ый кост..мчик!)

00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:34,715

Ага, ничего костюмчик, Кенни.

И ты думаешь, что

можешь с ним выиграть, а?..

00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:36,153

Так, пятиклассники скоро будут тут.

00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:39,437

Давайте доставать бабулю

Кайла! Вот будет угар!

00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,190

- Оп-па, проблемка, пацаны!

- Чё за проблема?

00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:44,271

- Н-нет Бабули.

- Нет Бабули?

00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,430

- Н-нет Бабули.

- Её здесь нет!

00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,795

- Она должна быть тут!

- Так, её здесь нет!

00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:49,949

Просто замечательно!

00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,031

Ну, спасибо большое, Стен!

Ты меня снова подставил!

00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:54,793

Окей, граждане! Я знаю, что вы все

хотите поскорее пойти к докам

00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,394

в кошмарный уголок привидений, но

сначала я должен информировать вас

00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:59,152

о человеке, или о людях,

00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,992

которые выкапывают трупы,

чтобы иметь с ними секс.

00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:02,274

Господа!

00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:04,078

Добрый день, леди и джентльмены.

00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:06,355

Человек, который ворует трупы,

чтобы иметь с ними секс,

00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:08,351

называется некрофил.

00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:12,035

А чтобы вы все поняли,

чего следует ожидать, мой

коллега Алан покажет вам рисунок,

00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:15,556

как может выглядеть

половой акт с мертвецом.

00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:20,032

Да, мы знаем, что это ужасно.

Наверное, будет лучше, если вы

не будете на это смотреть.

00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:22,315

А теперь Алан продемонстрирует вам,

00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,914

как половой акт с трупом может звучать.

00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:34,479

- Простите, но как это нам может помочь?

- Ну всё, ребята.

00:12:34,560 --> 00:12:37,279

Теперь вы все можете идти к докам

и наслаждаться Хэллоуин-вечеринкой.!

00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:39,555

Неет! Не ходите к докам!

00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:45,913

Я – капитан Блай! Вы, сухопутные крысы,

лучше держитесь подальше от доков!

00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,797

Иначе вы, чёрт подери, заплатите за это!

00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,911

Пушки, огонь!

00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:04,030

Это было первое и

последнее предупреждение!

Держитесь подальше от доков!

00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:09,633

Я предупреждал вас! Я говорил

вам, что это произойдет!

00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:11,915

Если позволять таким группам,

как КоРн, являться в город

00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,116

и устраивать языческий

хэллоуинский концерт,

00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:15,997

то вам по заслугам и воздастся!

00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:21,556

Суперская репетиция,

парни. Мы жгли аццки!

00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:24,108

Давайте ещё раз,

пока не начнётся шоу!

00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:26,953

Парни, простите, но

Хэллоуин-вечеринка отменяется.

00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,075

Отменяется?!

00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:30,833

Вам лучше убраться отсюда.

Тут пираты-призраки, и они вас убьют.

00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:33,992

Ну, парни, кажется, пора паковаться.

00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:35,912

Черт возьми! Что же нам теперь делать?!

00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,991

О, привет! Вчерашние детишки.

00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:41,755

Вау! Это надувной резиновый Антонио

Бандерас в натуральную величину?

00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,557

- Привет, Кенни!

- (Тв..ю ж м..ть!)

00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:51,995

Ну-ка, что случилось?

Парни, вы выглядите мрачновато.

00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:54,071

- Кто-то украл мою мёртвую бабулю.

- Что?

00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:55,878

Мы её выкопали, чтоб

напугать пятиклассников,

00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,552

но кто-то потом стащил её труп.

00:13:57,640 --> 00:14:00,791

Теперь она обречена скитаться

по Земле между раем и адом.

00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:02,836

Черт, ненавижу, когда

маленькие клоуны плачут!

00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:05,275

Ну, хватит!

Что-то странное происходит здесь.

00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:06,873

Ваша пропавшая бабуля,

должно быть, как-то связана

00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:08,632

с теми бросающими

в дрожь пиратами-призраками.

00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:11,837

Они – не пираты-призраки,

Джонатан, они – призраки-пираты.

00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:13,956

- Чё?

- "Пират-призрак" означает, что пират умер

00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:16,395

и превратился в призрак, а

"призрак-пират" – это призрак,

00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:18,516

который принял осознанное

решение стать пиратом.

00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,272

Нет, Дэвид, тогда бы они

были пиратами-призраками,

00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,679

потому что они – призраки пиратов.

00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:23,876

Ты не прав, потому что

в Колорадо не было пиратов.

00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,713

Таким образом, это – скорее всего призраки,

которые решили стать пиратами уже позже.

00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:27,994

Но ведь это значит,

что они – пираты-призраки!

00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:29,479

Нет, это значит, что

они – призраки-пираты!

00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:32,028

- Пираты-призраки!

- Парни, парни, парни!

00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:33,758

Драка ничего не решит!

00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:37,071

Разве вы не видите, это как раз то,

чего эти призраки-пираты хотят добиться?

00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:38,195

Пираты-призраки!

00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:40,157

- Так что, вы нам поможете?

- Конечно, мы вам поможем.

00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:41,878

Если и есть в мире то,

что мы любим делать больше,

чем играть музыку,

00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:44,428

так это – разрешать аццкие мистификации.

00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:47,999

Все в порядке?

00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:49,911

Люди воруют трупы, чтобы

заняться с ними сексом!

00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,592

Пираты-призраки уничтожают город!

00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:53,398

Когда именно всё пошло так плохо?

00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:56,040

Не хотелось бы говорить, но

думаю, что отец Макси был прав.

00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:57,792

Это нам за то, что

мы празднуем Хэллоуин

00:14:57,880 --> 00:14:59,711

и что разрешили группе КоРн

приехать сюда с концертом.

00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:01,995

Он прав! Ничего плохого никогда

не случалось с этим городом

00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,150

до того, как эта дьявольская

группа КоРн не заявилась сюда!

00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:05,912

Так, мы все должны пойти, найти их

00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,877

и изгнать их дьяволопоклоннические

задницы из нашего города!

00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:10,349

- Да! Избавимся от них!

- Давайте их поймаем!

00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:11,793

Суд Линча!

00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:14,593

Завалить КоРн!

00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:19,992

Так это то место, где ты последний

раз видел свою мёртвую бабулю?

00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:22,389

- Точно.

- Может, тут действительно

водятся пираты-призраки,

и они и они забрали её "туда"?

00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:24,948

Ладно, парни, надо разделиться

и искать ключи к разгадке.

00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:26,473

- Как нам разделиться?

- Я знаю.

00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:28,152

Давайте все, кому нравится

преодолевать препятствия

00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:30,276

на своём жизненном пути, пойдут сюда,

00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,112

а все остальные, чья ненадежность

00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:34,794

и неуверенность в себе мешает им

преодолевать преграды, пойдут туда.

00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,312

Вау! Это было несложно.

00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,038

Вот их автобус! Вот их автобус!

00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:46,031

Давайте его перевернём!

00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:48,998

Так, граждане, давайте организованно!

00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:51,116

Лучше всего для того,

чтобы перевернуть его,

00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,997

вы все должны зайти с одной

стороны и толкать его сверху!

00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:55,548

Дьяволопоклонники!

00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:57,198

Вперёд, они должны быть где-то здесь!

00:15:57,280 --> 00:15:59,589

У меня мурашки по коже от этого места.

00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:03,000

Вроде выглядит, как ключ к разгадке.

"Пират Лоур из Южного Парка", хм...

00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:06,152

Так, зачем бы пиратам-призракам

понадобилась бы книга о пиратах?

00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:09,111

- Опа, чё это было?

- Звук шёл отсюда.

00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,031

Все будьте рядом!

00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,636

О, нет! Я потерял свои очки!

00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:16,551

А как эта мёртвая бабуля выглядела?

00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:19,473

Ну, она вся была, типа,

ломкая и хрустящая, и всё такое.

00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:22,028

Эй, есть идея! Мы должны

поставить аццкий капкан!

00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:23,348

Хорошая идея!

00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:24,759

И на что мы будем ловить

кучу пиратов-призраков?

00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:27,354

Для наживки нам нужно что-то,

что привлечёт их внимание.

00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:30,193

Я знаю!

Твой надувной резиновый Антонио Бандерас!

00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:31,759

О, нет! Это же мой рождественский подарок!

00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:33,876

Если с ним что-то случится, моя мама

узнает, что я открыл его заранее!

00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,952

Ты чё, пацан! Каждый из нас должен

делать своё дело, даже Антонио!

00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,155

Мои очки должны быть где-то здесь.

00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:41,355

Это ты, Джонатан?

00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:43,715

Блин, я рад, что ты тут.

Я потерял свои очки.

00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:47,919

Эй, ты что, простудился, Джонатан?

00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,638

Да, аццки зачётная песня, чувак!

00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:51,392

Запомни её!

00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:54,870

- Филди, что ты делаешь?

- О, я разговаривал с тобой, Джонатан.

00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:56,188

Эй, подожди-ка,

00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:58,555

если ты там, как ты мог быть здесь?

00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:00,631

Только если ты не...

00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,711

- Пираты-призраки!

- Пираты-призраки!

00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:05,796

Окей. Вот как работает ловушка:

00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:07,199

когда пираты-призраки зайдут сюда,

00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:09,157

они должны пойти прямо

на Антонио Бандераса.

00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:10,832

Как только они наступят

на супер скользкий пол,

00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:12,399

они соскользнут прямо

в эту угольную тележку,

00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:14,869

которая покатится по этой

дорожке прямо в соседнюю комнату,

00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:16,518

где на них упадёт рыбацкая сеть.

00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:19,239

- Вау, круто!

- Эй, кто-то идёт!

00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:22,314

Надо спрятаться!

00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:24,311

Эй, это же Антонио Бандерас!

Он поможет нам!

00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,550

- Мистер Бандерас!

- Джонатан, нет!

00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:34,312

Держитесь, братцы!

00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:39,236

Так, КоРн, пора вам убираться из города!

00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:43,756

КоРн посылает своих

демонов-приспешников против нас!

00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:46,714

Ладно, парни.

00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:50,156

Похоже, нам пора использовать

наши специальные КоРн супер-силы!

00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:51,992

Кукурузные супер-силы КоРн, оживите!

00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:57,272

А теперь... КУКУРУЗА!

00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:15,158

Хорошо! Отличная работа, парни!

00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:17,993

- Да это не помогло вообще!

- Мы знаем. Это просто круто выглядит.

00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,279

Ниблет!

00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:24,629

Ниблет!

00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:26,233

А чё это за нафиг?

00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:28,072

Ты сделал это, Ниблет! Ты словил их!

00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:31,869

Да. А сейчас давайте посмотрим, кто же

такие эти пираты-призраки на самом деле!

00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,431

О, думаю, это действительно

были пираты-призраки.

00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:37,193

Так, ладно, КоРн, прекращаем

демоническое мошенничество

00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:39,157

и проходим со мной!

00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:41,231

Эй-эй, смотрите, что видит Ниблет!

00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:44,318

- Что за..?

- Отец Макси?

00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,231

Ну, чего же вы ждёте, Барбрэди?

00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:47,514

Арестуйте эту группу!

00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:49,955

Нет! Арестуйте его!

00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:52,952

Думаю, эта аццкая мистификация разгадана!

00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:56,949

Ну, должен сказать, я так

всего полностью и не понял.

00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:59,315

Это просто. Отец Макси не хотел,

чтобы мы праздновали Хэллоуин,

00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,516

и решил всех испугать и выгнать из доков.

00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:03,556

Да, а потом с помощью фонарика

00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:06,473

и ватных палочек создал призраков.

00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:09,599

Далее, всё, что ему требовалось

– кое-какие звуковые эффекты,

00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:12,513

которые он сделал с помощью

этой чашки и куска сыра.

00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:16,030

И потом – осталось только

сделать корабль-призрак

00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:19,396

из нескольких свечей,

зеркала и двух белок.

00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,070

Отец, зачем Вы пустились

во все эти тяжкие?

00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:25,469

Потому, что Хэллоуин – это богохульство!

00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:28,597

Я бы сделал всё, что угодно,

чтобы остановить этот

презренный праздник оккультизма!

00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:31,513

Включая массовые убийства и

разрушения по всему Южному Парку?

00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:33,670

Разве Вы не видите, что,

пытаясь остановить Хэллоуин,

00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:35,193

Вы распугали всех к чертям?

00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:36,315

Нет.

00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,868

Ладно, дружище, объяснишь в участке!

00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,188

Что ж, всё это хорошо и чудесно,

00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,510

но никак не объясняет, что же

произошло с телом моей мамы!

00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:44,477

Да! Где Бабуля?

00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:56,275

Вот она!

00:19:57,640 --> 00:19:58,868

Ну, спасибо большое, КоРн!

00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:01,076

Ваши кукурузные КоРн супер-силы

действительно проникли в нас!

00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:02,559

Да, мы были неправы относительно вас.

00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:04,358

Сможете ли вы сыграть

на нашей хэллоуинской вечеринке?

00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:06,271

Ну, конечно! Чего бы, нафиг, и нет?

00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:07,634

Отлично!

00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:11,794

О, нет! Пираты-призраки возвращаются!

00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:14,273

- Ниблет!

- Ниблет!

00:20:20,060 --> 00:20:21,698

Ну, это была, конечно,

ночка со странностями,

00:20:21,780 --> 00:20:23,930

но я и моя группа многое поняли,

и мы надеемся, что вы тоже!

00:20:24,020 --> 00:20:25,533

Вы все воспринимали нас

дурными, испорченными людьми,

00:20:25,620 --> 00:20:27,338

хотя, на самом деле,

мы – просто обычные ребята.

00:20:27,420 --> 00:20:28,978

А мы все воспринимали

пиратов-призраков реальными,

00:20:29,060 --> 00:20:30,652

хотя, на самом деле, это

были просто ватные палочки.

00:20:30,740 --> 00:20:31,809

А значит, мораль такова:

00:20:31,900 --> 00:20:34,255

легко воспринять кого-либо

кем-нибудь и потом ошибиться.

00:20:34,340 --> 00:20:36,729

Так что, нам надо учиться

быть менее восприимчивыми.

00:20:38,580 --> 00:20:41,492

Я со своей группой написали песню

об этом, и она звучит примерно так:

00:20:41,580 --> 00:20:43,536

И раз, и два, и..!

00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:58,011

Эй, я устал,

моё время ушло!

00:20:58,100 --> 00:21:00,660

Но покончить с собой

у тебя не прошло...

00:21:00,740 --> 00:21:01,775

- Отпад!

- Отпад!

00:21:02,780 --> 00:21:04,691

Сделал так,

как сказали...

00:21:04,780 --> 00:21:06,213

Антонио, нет!

00:21:06,300 --> 00:21:08,256

Ты, сын падшей курицы

из потустороннего мира!

00:21:08,340 --> 00:21:09,568

Вернись!

00:21:09,660 --> 00:21:11,935

Прочь, долой из меня!

00:21:14,380 --> 00:21:16,769

И победителем конкурса

костюмов становится...

00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:19,294

Венди за её костюм Чубаки!

00:21:19,380 --> 00:21:21,052

Поднимайся сюда, Венди.

00:21:23,060 --> 00:21:24,334

Забивая меня

00:21:24,420 --> 00:21:29,016

Забивая, забивая меня

00:21:29,100 --> 00:21:33,890

В землю с визгом и смехом

00:21:33,980 --> 00:21:38,451

Забивая, забивая меня

00:21:38,540 --> 00:21:40,212

В землю!

00:21:43,750 --> 00:21:45,000

Ч..о за на..иг?

Ч..о за, ё.. в..шу м..ть, пр..ходит?

00:00:10,136 --> 00:00:11,512

♪ I'm going down

to South Park ♪

00:00:11,637 --> 00:00:13,514

♪ Gonna have

myself a time ♪

00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:15,182

♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

00:00:15,307 --> 00:00:17,018

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:17,143 --> 00:00:18,060

♪ Going down

to South Park ♪

00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:20,062

♪ Gonna leave my

woes behind ♪

00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:21,897

♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

00:00:22,023 --> 00:00:23,482

♪ People spouting

"howdy neighbor" ♪

00:00:23,607 --> 00:00:25,026

♪ Headed on up

to South Park ♪

00:00:25,151 --> 00:00:26,736

♪ Gonna see if

I can't unwind ♪

00:00:26,861 --> 00:00:30,156

♪ [Mumbling] ♪

00:00:30,281 --> 00:00:31,490

♪ So come on down

to South Park ♪

00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:33,576

♪ And meet some

friends of mine ♪

00:00:36,454 --> 00:00:38,998

We're here live at the

Kozi 102.1 Halloween Haunt

00:00:39,123 --> 00:00:40,249

at the South Park

Docks!

00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:41,959

Come on down!

We've got a haunted house,

00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:44,128

and everyone is decorating for

tomorrow night, Halloween!

00:00:44,253 --> 00:00:45,546

When the band Korn--

that's right, Korn--

00:00:45,671 --> 00:00:47,048

is going to play live.

00:00:47,173 --> 00:00:48,632

And don't forget to wear

a costume tomorrow

00:00:48,758 --> 00:00:50,468

because there's

a big first prize!

00:00:50,593 --> 00:00:52,762

Well, here are some kids enjoying

the Halloween Haunt now.

00:00:52,887 --> 00:00:56,515

Say boys, what do you

think of Kozi FM's

Halloween Haunt so far?

00:00:58,768 --> 00:00:59,977

This one time,

like 8 months ago,

00:01:00,102 --> 00:01:01,645

I saw two guys kissing

in a park.

00:01:01,771 --> 00:01:03,147

And that was the gayest thing

I'd ever seen

00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:05,357

until I saw the Kozi FM

Halloween Haunt.

00:01:05,483 --> 00:01:07,651

Alright! Well enjoy

the spooky docks, kids!

00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:09,653

Hey, you guys, you know

what time of year it is?

00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:11,113

Of course, dumbass,

it's Halloween.

00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:12,865

That's right!

00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:14,241

And that means only two

more months 'til Christmas!

00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:16,243

♪ You better watch out

you better not cry ♪

00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:19,038

Christmas!

- ♪ Christmas time means

presents for meeee ♪

00:01:19,163 --> 00:01:20,456

Aw, nuts!

00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:21,499

Come on Ned, this ain't

a whore house,

00:01:21,624 --> 00:01:22,875

it's a hor-ror house!

00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,043

[all]

Aw!

00:01:24,168 --> 00:01:27,088

Hey, Spooky Laboratory,

you guys!

00:01:27,213 --> 00:01:28,631

Those things are

stupid, Cartman.

00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:29,924

They just stick your hand

in cold spaghetti

00:01:30,049 --> 00:01:31,008

and tell you it's

intestines and stuff.

00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:32,343

Well, I'm going to

Spooky Laboratory.

00:01:32,468 --> 00:01:33,803

♪ Jingle bells

jingle bells ♪

00:01:33,928 --> 00:01:36,555

Welcome to the

Spooky Laboratory.

00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,432

I'm your guide,

Dr. Spookalot.

00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:40,059

Allow me to show you

around the lab.

00:01:40,184 --> 00:01:41,435

Cool.

00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:43,104

Here I have a bowl

of human eyeballs.

00:01:43,229 --> 00:01:44,939

Ewww!

00:01:45,064 --> 00:01:46,524

And here you can

feel the brains.

00:01:46,649 --> 00:01:48,484

Oh, ho! Gross!

00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:51,237

And here you can feel the

warm innards of the body.

00:01:51,362 --> 00:01:54,365

Ewww, it feels like

cold spaghetti!

00:01:54,490 --> 00:01:56,242

You guys, it feels like

cold spaghetti!

00:01:56,367 --> 00:01:58,119

[mumbling]

00:01:58,244 --> 00:01:59,703

Give it up, Kenny, you're not

gonna win the costume contest.

00:01:59,829 --> 00:02:01,122

Your costumes

always suck.

00:02:01,247 --> 00:02:01,956

Boo!

00:02:02,081 --> 00:02:03,415

[all]

Aagghgh!

00:02:03,541 --> 00:02:04,542

Ha ha ha ha!

00:02:04,667 --> 00:02:05,918

We scared you,

chickens!

00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:07,837

We weren't scared!

00:02:07,962 --> 00:02:11,257

Well you should be, the pirate

ghosts are gonna come get'cha!

00:02:11,382 --> 00:02:12,174

The what?

00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:13,551

Didn't you know?

00:02:13,676 --> 00:02:14,927

There's an old legend

in South Park

00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:17,012

that says these docks are

haunted by pirate ghosts.

00:02:17,138 --> 00:02:18,472

Nu-uh.

00:02:18,597 --> 00:02:20,182

Yeah-huh,

00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:21,809

they roam these docks with their

swords and hooks hands,

00:02:21,934 --> 00:02:24,895

looking for victims

to cut up!

00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:25,604

That's just

an old legend.

00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:26,897

Rarrrr!

00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:28,399

Aaaghghg!

00:02:28,524 --> 00:02:30,693

Ha ha ha ha,

got you again!

00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:32,027

Just wait 'til tomorrow!

00:02:32,153 --> 00:02:33,654

We're gonna scare

you kids to death!

00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:35,656

Ha ha ha!

00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:38,284

You guys, my hand totally smells

like spaghetti now, smell it!

00:02:38,409 --> 00:02:40,244

I'm sick of those 5th graders

scaring us all the time.

00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:41,453

We should come up with

a way to scare them!

00:02:41,579 --> 00:02:43,122

Yeah, let's see

how they like it!

00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:45,499

Joining me now is Father Maxi

from the South Park Church.

00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:47,001

Father, what do you think

of all the preparations

00:02:47,126 --> 00:02:48,294

here at the docks?

00:02:48,419 --> 00:02:50,254

Halloween is an

abomination of God!

00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:52,173

A celebration

of the occult!

00:02:52,298 --> 00:02:54,466

Yeah, and how about Korn playing

the big concert tomorrow?

00:02:54,592 --> 00:02:56,135

Pretty exciting, huh?

00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:58,095

Korn is a devil worshipping

group that plays violent music!

00:02:58,220 --> 00:02:59,346

If we allow that demon band

00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:01,432

to play on this

most unholy of holidays,

00:03:01,557 --> 00:03:04,018

we may incur the full

wrath of evil!

00:03:04,143 --> 00:03:05,728

Alright! We'll see you

tomorrow for Halloween,

00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:08,397

in the meantime, here's

a Kozi hit by Barry Manilow.

00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:10,149

Come on, you guys,

think.

00:03:10,274 --> 00:03:11,317

How can we scare

the 5th graders?

00:03:11,442 --> 00:03:13,360

It has to be something

really scary.

00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:15,070

We could get a big, scary,

plastic spider

00:03:15,196 --> 00:03:17,156

and dangle it in front

of them on a string...

00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:19,200

...spooky spider,

that's pretty scary.

00:03:19,325 --> 00:03:20,784

That's not scary,

fat ass!

00:03:20,910 --> 00:03:21,952

Well come on! We can think

of something better

00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:24,079

than stupid

pirate ghosts!

00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:30,461

Argggh!

00:03:31,170 --> 00:03:34,298

[spooky psychedelic

music playing]

Are you sure we're

going the right way?

00:03:34,423 --> 00:03:36,508

I don't know, this map

doesn't make any sense.

00:03:36,634 --> 00:03:39,803

[laugh track laughter]

That's because you've got it

upside down, chowder head!

00:03:39,929 --> 00:03:41,722

Oops.

00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:42,806

When are we gonna get

to the gig? I'm starving!

00:03:42,932 --> 00:03:44,308

Don't think about it.

00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:45,559

We'll just keep playing

our game... ready?

00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:47,061

I spy with my little eye

00:03:47,186 --> 00:03:48,729

something that begins

with the letter "t".

00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:49,438

I know!

00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:50,522

A "t"ree!

00:03:50,648 --> 00:03:51,649

You got it!

00:03:51,774 --> 00:03:53,025

I spy with

my little eye

00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:55,236

something that begins

with the letter "r".

00:03:55,361 --> 00:03:56,654

The "r"oad?

00:03:56,779 --> 00:03:58,197

That's it!

00:04:02,326 --> 00:04:03,452

[all in pirate voice]

Aarrrggghhh!

00:04:04,662 --> 00:04:06,705

Okay, here's one:

I spy with my little eye

00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:08,791

something that begins

with the letter "p".

00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,251

The letter "p"?

00:04:10,376 --> 00:04:12,002

What the heck starts

with the letter "p"?

00:04:12,127 --> 00:04:14,213

P-pirate ghosts!

00:04:14,338 --> 00:04:16,215

[all]

Aaaghgh!

00:04:17,967 --> 00:04:18,717

[all]

Aaahh!

00:04:18,842 --> 00:04:20,302

[crash]

00:04:25,516 --> 00:04:27,268

Mom! You got the new

Duffy's catalogue,

00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:30,854

I'm gonna circle everything

I want for Christmas, okay?

00:04:30,980 --> 00:04:33,065

Mom? Okay?

00:04:34,275 --> 00:04:36,110

Okay...

let's see...

00:04:36,235 --> 00:04:38,070

I want this...

00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:40,197

and this...

00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:43,993

[doorbell rings]

And, let's see...

"comes with... "

00:04:44,118 --> 00:04:47,913

[door opening]

"Comes with..."

00:04:49,123 --> 00:04:50,749

Eric, your little

friends are here.

00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:52,209

Mom! Mom! You wanna see

what I want for Christmas?

00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:53,794

Eric, it's only

Halloween.

00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:56,171

That's only 72 shopping

days left for you!

00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:57,548

Come on, fat ass,

we have to go.

00:04:57,673 --> 00:04:58,257

Hey!

Don't call me fat!

00:04:58,299 --> 00:04:59,258

[laughing]

00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:01,302

Mom! Don't laugh!

00:05:01,427 --> 00:05:02,803

I'm sorry, hon.

00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:04,054

I can't go with

you guys right now.

00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:04,763

Yes you can, porky.

00:05:04,847 --> 00:05:06,015

[laughing]

00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:07,308

Mom! Seriously!

00:05:07,433 --> 00:05:08,767

Oh, that's not

funny, boys.

00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:10,728

Eric isn't fat,

he's big boned.

00:05:10,853 --> 00:05:14,023

He must have a huge bone in his ass, then.

- [laughing]

00:05:14,148 --> 00:05:15,899

Goddammit, Mom!

00:05:16,025 --> 00:05:17,985

God, I hate you guys.

00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:18,360

Okay, so we figured out how to scare the 5th

graders.

00:05:19,153 --> 00:05:19,445

How?

00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:20,696

What's the scariest thing

we could get?

00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:21,488

Spooky spider?

00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,157

No, a dead body.

00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:24,867

Yeah, fat ass,

a dead body.

00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:26,827

You mean we make something

that looks like a dead body?

00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:28,162

We could never make one

that looks real enough.

00:05:28,287 --> 00:05:30,331

To be really scary...

it would have to be real.

00:05:30,456 --> 00:05:32,291

Yeah, fat ass, it has to

be real to be scary.

00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:33,876

So where the hell are we

gonna get a dead body?

00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:35,878

We're gonna dig up

Kyle's dead grandma.

00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,171

Yeah, fat ass,

we're gonna dig up--

00:05:37,296 --> 00:05:39,423

"dig up Kyle's

dead grandma"?!

00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:40,966

Dude, she's perfect, she only

died like 3 months ago, right?

00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:42,551

Are you insane?!

00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,094

I think that's

a sweet idea.

- Mph!

00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:46,889

Dude, we're not digging up my

grandma, I'll get in trouble!

00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:48,557

All we have to do is sneak

into the graveyard, dig her up,

00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:49,641

scare the 5th graders,

and then put her back

00:05:49,767 --> 00:05:51,185

before anybody notices

she's gone.

00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:52,519

Naw, let's dig up

somebody else.

00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:54,438

Relax, dude,

what's the big deal?

00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:55,606

Think about it, if your grandma

knew that she could help you,

00:05:55,731 --> 00:05:57,107

even in death,

she would want to.

00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:58,525

This is gonna be fun!

00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:01,278

[howling and spooky music]

00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:03,238

[Cartman]

♪ Just hear those

sleighbells ring-a-ling ♪

00:06:03,364 --> 00:06:05,199

♪ Ring ting

ting-a-ling too ♪

00:06:05,324 --> 00:06:06,950

♪ Outside its lovely weather for

a sleighride together with you ♪

00:06:07,076 --> 00:06:08,660

♪ And you and you! ♪

00:06:08,786 --> 00:06:09,828

Cartman, will you stop

singing Christmas carols?

00:06:09,953 --> 00:06:12,247

We have to be quiet or else

we're gonna get busted!

00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:15,167

This must be it--

"Cleo Broflovski".

00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:17,544

That's my grandma.

00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:19,129

Well,

let's dig her up!

00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:20,297

Wait, I don't know

if this is cool.

00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:21,507

Of course it's cool.

00:06:21,632 --> 00:06:22,925

She's gonna be all

rotted and scary.

00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,301

I don't think my mom would

want me doing this.

00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:25,969

"Oh, I don't want to

dig up my dead grandma

00:06:26,095 --> 00:06:27,471

"'cause I'm such

a goodie-two-shoes!"

00:06:27,596 --> 00:06:28,555

[bang]

Ow!

00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,099

You guys, be quiet!

00:06:30,224 --> 00:06:31,433

Now do you wanna get back at

the 5th graders or not?

00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:32,518

I don't really care,

dude.

00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:34,186

Yes, you do!

Now dig!

00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,063

♪ Outside the snow

is falling ♪

00:06:36,188 --> 00:06:38,107

♪ And friends are

calling yoo-hoo ♪

00:06:38,232 --> 00:06:42,277

[wolf howling]

00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:43,445

Okay, it's almost open,

ready?

00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,155

One, two, three!

00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:47,908

Whoa, dude.

00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:49,660

Oh my God.

00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,162

[crackling]

00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:54,081

Hi, Grandma...

00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:54,748

[woman]

Hi Kyle.

00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:56,250

Aagh!

00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:57,459

Have you been

a good boy, Kyle?

00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:58,836

Have you been making

Grandma proud?

00:06:58,961 --> 00:07:00,129

Dammit, Cartman,

that's not funny!

00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:01,213

Yes, it is.

00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:02,798

Heh, I'm sweet.

00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:04,007

Alright, alright, let's just

get this over with

00:07:04,133 --> 00:07:05,092

so we can put her back.

00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:06,427

Okay,

grab the sled.

00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:15,769

♪ Silver bells,

silver bells ♪

00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:19,022

♪ It's Christmas time,

you guys... ♪

00:07:19,148 --> 00:07:20,274

Okay, let's just

hide her here,

00:07:20,399 --> 00:07:21,483

and tomorrow during

the Halloween party,

00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:22,443

we'll come back

in our costumes,

00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:23,902

and use her to scare

the 5th graders!

00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:25,696

How exactly are we gonna

use her to scare them?

00:07:25,821 --> 00:07:27,614

We could shove a stick up her

ass and use her like a puppet.

00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:29,700

Rar! Rar!

I'm scary grandma!

00:07:29,825 --> 00:07:30,826

Alright,

that does it, Cartman!

00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:31,994

That's my grandma!

00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:33,662

You show some Goddamned

respect!

00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,789

[man moaning]

00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:36,707

What was that?

00:07:36,832 --> 00:07:37,416

Cartman!

00:07:37,541 --> 00:07:38,375

It wasn't me!

00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,294

[moaning and spooky music]

00:07:40,419 --> 00:07:41,253

Dude, not cool,

this is scary.

00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:42,546

[crash]

00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:43,672

[all]

Aaaghghgh!

00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,674

Hey, like,

it's just some kids.

00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:48,427

Oh, whew! I was really scared

there for a second.

00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:49,636

Hey, you're that

band, Korn!

00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:51,722

Yeah, I'm Jonathan,

and this is Munky,

00:07:51,847 --> 00:07:53,015

David, Fieldy, and Head.

00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:54,850

And over there's

our pal, Niblet.

00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,351

Hey, where'd Niblet go?

00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:58,562

Mm-mm, Niblet likes

potato chips!

00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:00,105

[all]

Niblett!

00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:01,482

Hee-hee.

00:08:01,607 --> 00:08:03,066

What are you guys

doing out here?

00:08:03,192 --> 00:08:04,401

We were just driving our van

when all of a sudden,

00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:06,737

we were run off the road by

some super spooky pirate ghosts.

00:08:06,862 --> 00:08:08,780

Aw, dude, that was just

the 5th graders!

00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:10,741

Yeah, they're trying to scare

everybody cuz they're gaywads.

00:08:10,866 --> 00:08:12,409

But don't worry, we're about

to go get them back.

00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:14,119

Oh, swell, we're supposed to

play here tomorrow.

00:08:14,244 --> 00:08:15,245

Do you know where

the stage is?

00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:16,705

Yeah, dude,

its right over there.

00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,165

[all]

O-Kay!

00:08:18,290 --> 00:08:20,000

Oh hi, we're Korn.

00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:21,919

We're supposed to play

the Halloween concert tomorrow.

00:08:22,044 --> 00:08:24,254

I know who you are and

what you stand for.

00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:26,840

I think your music and

Halloween is an abomination!

00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:28,759

Groovy, could you show us

where to set up?

00:08:28,884 --> 00:08:30,886

Alright, let's just set her

over here behind these boxes.

00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,638

Shouldn't we hide her

better than that?

00:08:32,763 --> 00:08:34,306

Kyle, will you stop

worrying? God!

00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:35,724

Now, we'll all meet back here

tomorrow with our costumes,

00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,267

and then when the Halloween

party gets going,

00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:38,477

we'll bust out

his dead gram-gram.

00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:39,770

Let's go!

00:08:39,895 --> 00:08:40,479

Wait till you guys

see my costume!

00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:41,271

It's gonna be sweet!

00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:43,357

[mumbling]

00:08:43,482 --> 00:08:44,858

Oh come on, Kenny, you never

have a sweet costume.

00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,276

You're not gonna win

the costume contest.

00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:50,572

[mumbling in protest]

00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,575

[sniffing]

00:08:57,079 --> 00:08:58,705

Grrr...

00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:04,670

[doorbell rings]

Hold on, kids!

00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:05,921

Mrs. Brovlovski?

00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,005

Yes?

00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:08,674

We're from Mt. Peaceful

Cemetery.

00:09:08,799 --> 00:09:10,259

Could we have a word

with you?

00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:12,135

Uh, sure, come in.

00:09:14,638 --> 00:09:15,597

What is it?

00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:16,890

Mrs. Broflovski,

00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:19,351

somebody has defiled

your mother's grave.

00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:20,811

Defiled? How?

00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:23,146

Well, I'm afraid that...

somebody dug her up.

00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:24,231

Dug her up?

00:09:24,356 --> 00:09:25,732

Why?

00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:27,651

Well, the most likely

reason is that

00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:29,278

somebody wanted to have

sex with her dead body.

00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:30,320

Yup.

00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:31,780

What!

00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,407

We don't want to upset you,

but it happens.

00:09:33,532 --> 00:09:36,285

Somebody's probably making love

to her corpse as we speak.

00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:39,162

Every vile position, every

disrespectful act imaginable.

00:09:39,288 --> 00:09:40,872

Oh dear God!

00:09:40,998 --> 00:09:42,833

Yes, by now he's probably

even removed her eyes

00:09:42,958 --> 00:09:45,085

and made love to the

empty sockets, as well.

00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:46,712

Ohh!

00:09:46,837 --> 00:09:47,754

Now, we don't want to upset you,

but you should know that

00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:49,798

your mother's body

would be stiff and dry,

00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,466

so he would have to have it

soaked in warm water

00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:53,176

for several hours before

making love to it.

00:09:53,302 --> 00:09:54,636

Ohhhh!

00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,179

Yes, and now for the

difficult part--

00:09:56,305 --> 00:09:57,723

brace yourself.

00:09:57,848 --> 00:09:59,516

It is highly possible that

he has created new orifices

00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:01,059

in her decomposing flesh,

00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:02,185

leaving her to look

something like

00:10:02,311 --> 00:10:04,187

an overloved hunk

of Swiss cheese.

00:10:04,313 --> 00:10:05,606

She probably--

00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:06,940

Okay, okay!

I get the point!

00:10:07,065 --> 00:10:09,443

Just tell me what you're

gonna do about it!

00:10:10,444 --> 00:10:11,987

Do?

00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,655

Oh, we don't do anything,

we're just the watchmen.

00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:14,448

Yeah, I guess maybe

you might want to

00:10:14,573 --> 00:10:15,782

call the police,

or something.

00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:16,908

Agh!

00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,370

Now, he probably would

make love to the dead body

00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:21,705

in a cool, dry place,

00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:23,915

so as to not allow

further decomposition...

00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,335

[doorbell rings]

00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:28,295

Package delivery

for Mrs. Cartman.

00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:29,504

A package?

00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:30,881

Oh, really...

00:10:31,006 --> 00:10:33,175

Well, I think I can

sign for that.

00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,927

Sign he'a,

and he'a...and he'a.

00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:37,137

I got a Christmas

pres-ent!

00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:38,347

I got a Christmas

pres-ent!

00:10:38,472 --> 00:10:40,057

Maybe I can see

what it is,

00:10:40,182 --> 00:10:42,309

I'll just open

one little corner...

00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:44,478

Let's see...

00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:45,896

Aw, screw it,

I'll rewrap it later.

00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:47,481

Oh sweet!

00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:50,108

Life-Sized Blow-Up

Antonio Banderas Love Doll!

00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:53,070

With realistic

geni-tal-ia...

00:10:53,195 --> 00:10:54,738

Oh, this kicks ass!

00:10:54,863 --> 00:10:57,991

What a cool Christmas

present my mom got!

00:10:58,116 --> 00:10:59,868

It's Halloween day,

so come on down to the docks

00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,536

and bring your costumes!

00:11:01,662 --> 00:11:03,121

Where's Kenny?

00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:04,498

He said he had the best

Halloween costume ever.

00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:05,499

[in a sing-song voice]

Nya nya nya nya nya nya!

00:11:05,624 --> 00:11:06,750

Guess wha-hat I got!

00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:08,543

Antonio Banderas

Blow-Up Doll!

00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:10,087

You guys

didn't get one!

00:11:10,212 --> 00:11:11,630

Where's your costume,

fat ass?

00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:13,590

Screw Halloween, I already

got my Christmas present!

00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:14,925

In a few days

I'll wrap it back up,

00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:16,301

and then when I open it

on Christmas,

00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:18,595

I'll act all surprised,

like, "oh, Mother!

00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:21,431

"Antonio Banderas Life-Sized

Blow-Up Doll, what a surprise!"

00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:23,934

[robotic sounds]

00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:30,023

Hey, Kenny.

00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:31,733

[mumbling]

00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:33,235

Nice costume, Kenny.

00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,528

You think you're gonna win

with that? Ha!

00:11:34,653 --> 00:11:35,612

Alright, the 5th graders

are gonna be here soon.

00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:36,697

Let's get Kyle's

grandma.

00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:37,906

This is gonna be sweet!

00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,450

Uhh, problem guys.

00:11:40,575 --> 00:11:41,243

What's the problem?

00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:42,369

No grandma.

00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:43,537

No grandma?!

00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:44,496

No grandma.

00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:45,914

She's not here!

00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:46,998

She has to be here.

00:11:47,124 --> 00:11:48,417

Well,

she's not here!

00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:50,085

That's just great!

00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:51,920

Thanks a lot Stan, you're

gonna get me busted again!

00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,880

Okay, people, I know we all

want to get down to the docks

00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:55,298

for the Halloween Haunt,

00:11:55,424 --> 00:11:57,050

but first, we just need to

inform you about

00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:58,677

the people or persons

out there

00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:00,220

digging up bodies to

have sex with them.

00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:01,888

Gentlemen?

00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:03,265

Good afternoon,

ladies and gentlemen.

00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,892

A person who steals bodies

to have sex with them

00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:07,853

is called

a "necrophiliac".

00:12:07,978 --> 00:12:09,438

So that you all know

what to expect,

00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:11,189

my partner Alan has

drawn a sketch

00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:14,526

of what having sex with

a dead body might look like.

00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:16,361

[all]

Ewwwohh!

00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:17,779

Yes, we know

it's horrible.

00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,239

It's probably best

you not look at it.

00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:22,409

Now, Alan will demonstrate what

having sex with a dead body

00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:25,287

might sound like.

00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:27,122

[squish squish]

00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,207

[squish squish squish]

00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:30,459

[all]

Ewwwohh!

00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:31,585

[squish squish]

00:12:31,710 --> 00:12:33,086

Excuse me,

how is this helping?

00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:34,921

That's it, folks,

now we can all go to the docks

00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:36,798

and enjoy

the Halloween Haunt!

00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,550

No! Don't go to

the docks!

00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:39,968

Arrggh!

00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:41,094

[gasps and screams]

00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:42,721

Arrggh,

I'm Captain Blye!

00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:45,390

You landlubbers had better

stay away from the docks,

00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:47,309

or else there'll be

hell to pay!

00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:48,435

[screaming]

00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:50,020

Fire the cannons!

00:12:52,063 --> 00:12:53,023

[boom]

00:12:53,148 --> 00:12:54,524

[all]

Ahh!

00:12:54,649 --> 00:12:56,026

Har har har!

00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:57,819

[all screaming]

00:12:57,944 --> 00:12:59,237

Arggggh!

00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:01,364

We won't warn ya again!

00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:02,866

Stay away from

our docks!

00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:04,743

[screaming]

00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:07,537

I warned you!

00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:09,164

I told you this

would happen!

00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,166

When you allow bands like Korn

to come to town

00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,460

and play your heathenistic

Halloween concerts,

00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:15,128

this is what you get!

00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:18,882

[playing rock music]

00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:21,259

Great rehearsal, gang,

that was really groovy!

00:13:21,384 --> 00:13:23,220

Let's practice one more time

before the show starts!

00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:24,638

Uh guys, I'm sorry,

00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:26,348

but the Halloween Haunt's

been cancelled.

00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:27,641

Cancelled?!

00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:28,975

You best clear

outta here,

00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,477

there's pirate ghosts

and they'll kill ya.

00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:32,437

Well, gang, it looks like

we have to pack it up.

00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:33,980

[all]

Awwww!

00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:35,148

Goddammit, now what the hell

are we gonna do?

00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:37,359

Oh hey, the kids

from last night.

00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:40,487

Wow, is that the Antonio Banderas

Life-Sized Blow-Up Doll?

00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:47,160

[robotic sounds]

00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:47,786

Hey, Kenny.

00:13:47,911 --> 00:13:48,787

[mumbling]

00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:50,038

Say, what's the matter?

00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,540

You kids look

kinda glum.

00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:52,666

Somebody took

my dead grandma.

00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:54,543

What?

00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:55,794

We dug her up because we wanted

to scare these 5th graders,

00:13:55,919 --> 00:13:57,045

but then something

took her body away.

00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,506

Now she's doomed to walk

the Earth in limbo!

00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:02,133

Aw, I hate to see

little clowns cry.

00:14:02,259 --> 00:14:03,301

Well, that does it!

00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:04,803

Something funny

is going on here.

00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:06,054

Your missing grandma must

be connected somehow

00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:07,848

to those creepy

pirate ghosts.

00:14:07,973 --> 00:14:09,599

They're not pirate ghosts,

Jonathan,

00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:11,476

they're ghost pirates.

- Huh?

00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:13,353

"Pirate ghost" would suggest

that a pirate died

00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:14,521

and became a ghost.

00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:16,189

But "ghost pirate"

is a ghost

00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:18,149

that later made a conscious

decision to be a pirate.

00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:19,734

No, David, then they are

"pirate ghosts",

00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:21,486

because they're

the ghosts of pirates.

00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,280

You're wrong, because there

were no pirates in Colorado.

00:14:23,405 --> 00:14:26,032

So, these must be ghosts that

decided to become pirates after the fact.

00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:27,576

But that makes them

pirate ghosts!

00:14:27,701 --> 00:14:28,994

No, it makes them

ghost pirates!

00:14:29,119 --> 00:14:29,786

Pirate ghosts!

00:14:29,911 --> 00:14:31,538

Guys! Guys! Guys!

00:14:31,663 --> 00:14:33,498

Fighting isn't gonna

solve anything!

00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:35,333

Don't you see, this is exactly

what those ghost pirates

00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:36,626

want us to do!

00:14:36,751 --> 00:14:37,586

Pirate ghosts!

00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:38,587

Then,

you'll help us?

00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:40,213

Sure we'll help you.

00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:41,423

If there's one thing we like

more than playing music,

00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:42,841

it's solving

a groovy mystery.

00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:44,134

[all]

Alright!

00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:47,679

Is everybody okay?

00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,514

People stealing bodies

to have sex with them,

00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:50,849

pirate ghosts destroying

the town...

00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:52,934

when did everything

go so wrong?

00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:55,353

I hate to say it, but I think

Priest Maxi was right.

00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:57,355

This is what we get for

celebrating Halloween

00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,274

and allowing that band Korn

to come play.

00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,401

He's right! Nothing ever

went wrong in this town,

00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:03,612

before that evil Korn band

showed up!

00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,280

Well, I say

we go find them

00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,240

and kick their devil-worshiping

butts out of town!

00:15:07,365 --> 00:15:09,784

[all]

Yeah! Let's get 'em!

00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:11,453

Lynch mob!

00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:14,122

[all screaming angrily]

Down with Korn!

00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:19,419

So this is where you last saw

your dead grandma?

00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:20,962

Right, maybe there really

are pirate ghosts,

00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,589

and they took her inside!

00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:24,466

Alright, gang! We have to

split up and look for clues.

00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:25,884

How should we

split up?

00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:27,677

I know, let's have

everyone who enjoys

00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:29,596

having obstacles in their life which they can

overcome go this way,

00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:32,098

and everyone whose insecurities

sabotage their potential

00:15:32,223 --> 00:15:34,309

to overcome those obstacles,

go that way.

00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:35,727

[all]

O-kay!

00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:39,940

[Kenny's costume

makes robotic sounds]

00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:41,316

Wow, that was easy.

00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,568

Here's their van!

Here's their van!

00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:44,861

Let's flip it over!

00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:46,321

Those bastards!

- Yeah!

00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:47,989

Okay, people,

let's try to stay orderly!

00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:49,532

The best way to do this

00:15:49,658 --> 00:15:52,369

is all get on one side

and push it from the top.

00:15:52,494 --> 00:15:54,037

[Mr. Garrison]

Devil worshipers!

00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:55,538

[all]

Yeah!

00:15:55,664 --> 00:15:57,165

C'mon, they gotta be

around here somewhere!

00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:58,124

[Stan]

This place gives me

the creeps.

00:15:58,249 --> 00:16:00,835

Say, this looks like

a clue...

00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:02,545

"Pirate Lore

of South Park".

00:16:02,671 --> 00:16:05,298

Hm, now why would pirate ghosts

need a book on pirates?

00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:06,257

[crash]

00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:07,634

W-what was that?

00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:08,677

The noise came from

in here.

00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:11,054

Stay close,

everybody.

00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:12,222

[thud]

00:16:12,347 --> 00:16:14,307

Oh no,

I lost my glasses!

00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:16,101

What does his dead grandma

look like?

00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:19,020

She was all like crunchy

and crispy and stuff.

00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:21,314

Hey, I got an idea,

we should set a groovy trap!

00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:22,607

Good idea!

00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,359

How do we trap a bunch

of pirate ghosts?

00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:27,112

We need something that might

catch their eye to use as bait.

00:16:27,237 --> 00:16:29,489

I know! Your Antonio

Banderas love doll!

00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:30,907

Oh no, this is my

Christmas present.

00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:32,075

If anything

happens to it,

00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,451

my mom will know

I opened it early.

00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:35,412

Come on, kid, we all

have to do our part.

00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:36,913

Even Antonio.

00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:39,958

My glasses got to be around

here somewhere...

00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:41,376

Is that you, Jonathan?

00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,211

Boy, am I glad to see you!

I lost my glasses.

00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:44,462

Arrrghghhh!

00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:46,214

Hey, you got a cold,

Jonathan?

00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:47,757

[laugh-track laughter]

arrrrrggghh!

00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:49,217

Yeah, that's sounds like

a groovy song, man.

00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,593

[laugh track laughter]

Remember that one.

00:16:50,719 --> 00:16:52,429

Fieldy,

what are you doing?!

00:16:52,554 --> 00:16:53,972

Oh, I was talking

to you, Jonathan.

00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:55,640

Hey, wait a minute.

00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:57,892

If you're over there,

then how can you be over here?

00:16:58,018 --> 00:17:00,103

Unless you're

actually a--

00:17:00,228 --> 00:17:01,730

[Fieldy and Jonathan]

p-p-pirate ghost!

00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:03,440

Aarrrrgghh!

00:17:03,565 --> 00:17:05,108

Okay, here's how

the trap will work:

00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:06,401

when the pirate ghosts

walk in,

00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,653

they should go right for

Antonio Banderas.

00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:10,113

When they hit

the super slippery floor,

00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:11,948

they'll slide onto

this mining cart,

00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:14,200

which should travel down this

path into the next room,

00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:15,785

where the fishnet

will fall on them.

00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:16,870

Wow, cool!

00:17:16,995 --> 00:17:18,830

Hey,

somebody's coming!

00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:20,832

Aaaaghgh!

00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:22,000

[Stan]

We've got to hide!

00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:22,876

Hey, there's

Antonio Banderas!

00:17:23,001 --> 00:17:23,877

He'll help us!

00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:24,878

Mr. Banderas--

00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:25,879

Jonathan, no!

00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:29,924

[all]

Aaahhhh!

00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:30,884

Oh, no!

00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:32,302

Aah!

00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:33,511

Hold on, guys!

00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:35,764

[crowd screaming]

00:17:35,889 --> 00:17:36,931

Alright, Korn!

00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:38,099

Time for you to

get out of town!

00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:39,893

Arrghghh!

00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:41,478

Aaaaaahhhh!

00:17:41,603 --> 00:17:43,354

Korn is sending their

demon minions upon us!

00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:44,981

[all]

Aaaaahhh!!

00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:46,858

Alright, gang!

00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:49,277

Looks like we're gonna have to

use our special Korn powers!

00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,279

Korn powers vitalize!

00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:52,489

Munky! David!

00:17:52,614 --> 00:17:53,406

Fieldy! Head!

00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:54,115

Jonathan!

00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,493

Form of... corn!

00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:01,748

[pop]

00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:14,677

Alright!

Great job, gang!

00:18:14,803 --> 00:18:16,054

That didn't help at all!

00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:17,722

We know,

it's just cool to do.

00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:18,932

Aarrrgghh!

00:18:19,057 --> 00:18:20,725

Niblet!

00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:24,312

[all]

Niblet!

00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:25,897

What the hell

is that thing?

00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:27,732

You did it, Niblet,

you trapped them!

00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:30,527

Yeah, and now let's see who

these pirate ghosts really are!

00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:33,571

Oh, I guess they really were

pirate ghosts.

00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:36,366

Alright, Korn, you can stop

your demonic shenanigans

00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:38,368

and come downtown

with me!

00:18:38,493 --> 00:18:39,911

He he, look what

Niblet sees!

00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:41,287

Ohh!

00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:42,622

What the--

00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:44,332

Father Maxi?

00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:45,542

Well, what are you

waiting for, Barbrady?

00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:46,668

Arrest that band!

00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:47,627

Oh?

00:18:47,752 --> 00:18:48,753

No, arrest him!

00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:50,171

[all]

Huh?

00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:52,340

I think I've got this

groovy mystery solved!

00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:56,553

Well, I must say, I still

don't get this at all.

00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:58,721

It's simple, Priest Maxi didn't

want there to be a Halloween,

00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:01,015

so he decided to scare everyone

away from the docks.

00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:03,852

Yeah, and then he used this

flashlight and some cotton swabs

00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,228

to create the ghosts.

00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:09,357

Then all he needed was

some sound effects,

00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,192

created by this cup and

a piece of cheese.

00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:13,069

Aaarrgghh!

00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:15,446

And all he had to do then

was create a ghost ship,

00:19:15,572 --> 00:19:18,741

by using some candles,

a mirror, and two squirrels.

00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:22,662

Father, why did you

go to all this trouble?

00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:25,123

Because Halloween is an

abomination of God.

00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:27,959

I would anything to stop this

wretched, unholy holiday!

00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:29,460

Including killing people

and wreaking havoc

00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:31,379

all over South Park?

00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,006

Don't you see that by

trying to stop Halloween

00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:34,632

you've scared the hell

out of everybody?

00:19:34,757 --> 00:19:36,134

No.

00:19:36,259 --> 00:19:38,428

Okay, buddy, you can

explain downtown!

00:19:38,553 --> 00:19:40,096

Well, this is all

fine and good,

00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:41,931

but it doesn't explain what

happened to my mother's body.

00:19:42,056 --> 00:19:43,391

Yeah, where's Grandma?

00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:46,769

[gagging]

00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:48,396

Blehhh!

00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:49,814

[all]

Eeewwww!

00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:53,026

[gagging]

00:19:53,151 --> 00:19:54,694

Blehhh!

00:19:54,819 --> 00:19:55,695

There she is!

00:19:55,820 --> 00:19:57,071

[all]

Ooohhh!

00:19:57,197 --> 00:19:58,448

Well, thanks a lot,

Korn.

00:19:58,573 --> 00:20:00,783

Your Korn powers really

came through for us.

00:20:00,909 --> 00:20:02,368

Yes, we were

wrong about you.

00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:03,828

Will you please play

for our Halloween party?

00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:04,871

Well, sure!

00:20:04,996 --> 00:20:05,830

Why the heck not?

00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:07,373

[all]

Alright!

00:20:07,498 --> 00:20:09,209

Aaarrgghh!

00:20:09,334 --> 00:20:10,627

Oh no, the pirate ghosts

are back!

00:20:12,086 --> 00:20:13,671

[all]

Niblet!

00:20:13,796 --> 00:20:15,548

Uh-oh...

00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:20,970

Well, this sure has been

a wacky night.

00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:23,056

But me and the gang learned

a lot, and we hope you did, too.

00:20:23,181 --> 00:20:24,849

You all perceived us

to be mean, evil people,

00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:26,517

but really we're just

normal guys.

00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:28,144

And we all perceived

pirate ghosts to be real,

00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:29,729

when actually they were

just cotton swabs.

00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:31,606

So I guess the lesson is:

00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,483

it's easy to perceive something

some way and then be wrong.

00:20:33,608 --> 00:20:35,526

So we all need to learn to be

a little less perceptive.

00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:37,528

[all]

Yeah...

00:20:37,654 --> 00:20:38,905

The gang and I wrote

a song about it

00:20:39,030 --> 00:20:40,907

and it goes a little

something like this.

00:20:41,032 --> 00:20:42,533

And a-1 and a-2 and a--

00:20:42,659 --> 00:20:44,077

Booo!!

00:20:44,202 --> 00:20:46,996

[playing heavy rock music]

00:20:52,794 --> 00:20:54,879

♪ Hey I'm feeling

tired ♪

00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:56,798

♪ My time is

gone today... ♪

00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:58,049

Booo!

00:20:58,174 --> 00:20:59,259

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

00:20:59,384 --> 00:21:00,760

[all]

Sweet!

00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:03,429

♪ Do what

I must say... ♪

00:21:03,554 --> 00:21:05,390

Antonio, noo!

00:21:05,515 --> 00:21:07,350

You son-of-a-bitch chicken

from outer space!

00:21:07,475 --> 00:21:08,685

Come back here!

00:21:08,810 --> 00:21:10,436

♪ Falling away

from me ♪

00:21:10,561 --> 00:21:12,855

[guitar solo]

00:21:12,981 --> 00:21:15,775

And the winner of

the costume contest is...

00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:18,152

Wendy, for her

Chewbacca costume!

00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:20,154

Come on up, Wendy.

00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:23,032

[robotic sigh]

00:21:23,157 --> 00:21:26,619

[screaming]

♪ Beating me,

beating me down ♪

00:21:26,744 --> 00:21:27,912

♪ Down ♪

00:21:28,037 --> 00:21:30,164

♪ Into the ground ♪

00:21:30,290 --> 00:21:32,500

♪ Screaming some sound ♪

00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:35,920

♪ Beating me

beating me down ♪

00:21:36,045 --> 00:21:37,297

♪ Down ♪

00:21:37,422 --> 00:21:39,173

♪ Into the ground... ♪

00:21:39,299 --> 00:21:41,884

[space ship whooshing]

00:21:43,052 --> 00:21:44,637

[mumbling]