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Jewbilee
Сезон: 03Серия: 09
Описание
Кайл, Кенни и Айк отправляются в еврейский скаутский лагерь. Там людям является Моисей.
Субтитры
- 00:00:10,594 --> 00:00:11,512 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:11,637 --> 00:00:13,556 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:15,391 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,059 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:18,394 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,354 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:21,939 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:23,607 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
- 00:00:23,733 --> 00:00:25,067 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
- 00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:26,902 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:31,741 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:31,866 --> 00:00:33,409 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:35,619 --> 00:00:36,704 Hold still, Ike.
- 00:00:36,829 --> 00:00:37,955 We have to get you dressed.
- 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:39,457 Where the heck is Kyle!
- 00:00:39,582 --> 00:00:40,374 I don't know.
- 00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:41,542 Come on, Kyle!
- 00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:43,753 You're gonna be late for Jew Scouts!
- 00:00:43,878 --> 00:00:45,880 ♪ Hmm hmmm, da daaaa ♪
- 00:00:46,005 --> 00:00:46,839 Kyle!
- 00:00:46,964 --> 00:00:47,798 I'm coming, Ma!!
- 00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:50,009 Go get the door, Kyle!
- 00:00:50,134 --> 00:00:51,635 "Get ready", "answer the door"!
- 00:00:51,761 --> 00:00:56,015 Jesus Christ, make up your friggin' mind!
- 00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:57,475 Oh, hey, Kenny.
- 00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:59,185 Mph rm rmph rm rmph rm rmph rm!
- 00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:00,603 I can't watch the meteor shower with you, Kenny.
- 00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:01,812 I have to go to <i>Jewbilee.</i>
- 00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:02,855 What's that!
- 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,273 It's what we do in Jew Scouts.
- 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:05,691 Usually we just sit around and make stuff,
- 00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:06,859 but tonight because there's a meteor shower
- 00:01:06,984 --> 00:01:08,486 we're gonna do some big thing out in the woods.
- 00:01:08,611 --> 00:01:09,653 It's gonna suck ass, I'm sure.
- 00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:11,447 Oh, that's too bad.
- 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:12,782 Hey, maybe you can go with me!
- 00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:14,075 Then it won't suck so hard!
- 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:15,576 Really!
- 00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:17,161 Mom, can Kenny go to Jewbilee with me!
- 00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:20,122 Well, Kyle...Jewbilee is sort of a...
- 00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:21,582 ...special thing.
- 00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:23,876 Oh. Kenny isn't special?
- 00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:25,169 Awww.
- 00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:27,046 No, no. You're very special, Kenny.
- 00:01:27,171 --> 00:01:30,633 It's just that... well, Jewbilee is for Jewish kids.
- 00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:34,929 You see, boys, Jew Scouts is a special group
- 00:01:35,054 --> 00:01:37,765 that borrows a little bit from all different Jewish denominations.
- 00:01:37,890 --> 00:01:40,643 From the Orthodox Jews, from the Hasidic Jews
- 00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:42,603 from the Northern Italy Cave Jews...
- 00:01:42,728 --> 00:01:45,689 But you have to believe the basic tenets of Judaism to be a scout.
- 00:01:45,815 --> 00:01:47,149 Kenny'll believe whatever you want him to.
- 00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:48,150 Yeah!
- 00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:49,985 Kyle, the problem is...
- 00:01:50,111 --> 00:01:51,570 Please, Ma.
- 00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:52,738 I don't think Kenny has anywhere else to be tonight.
- 00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:54,490 Oh alright.
- 00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:55,741 Just don't let any of the elders know
- 00:01:55,866 --> 00:01:56,992 that he isn't Jewish, okay!
- 00:01:57,118 --> 00:01:58,119 Woo-hoo!
- 00:01:58,244 --> 00:01:59,286 Come on, Ike!
- 00:01:59,411 --> 00:02:00,329 It's time to go to Squirts!
- 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:01,664 Smrphs!
- 00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:02,790 You have to be in Squirts
- 00:02:02,915 --> 00:02:04,708 if you're too young to be a Jew Scout.
- 00:02:04,834 --> 00:02:06,752 Don't worry, Kenny, I'll fill you in on our faith on the way up there.
- 00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:10,047 ...And then, Kenny, Abraham's wife bore him no children,
- 00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:12,633 She had a handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar.
- 00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:14,343 And Sarai said unto Abraham,
- 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,637 "behold now, the Lord hath restrained me from bearing,
- 00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:18,597 I pray thee, go into my mate."
- 00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:20,141 Uh-huh...
- 00:02:20,266 --> 00:02:22,560 Abraham begat Issac, who the Lord then said to kill,
- 00:02:22,685 --> 00:02:24,228 but that was just a little silly trick
- 00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:25,312 to see if Abraham would do it.
- 00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:26,480 Uh-huh.
- 00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:29,316 No, Ike!
- 00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:30,693 Ma, Ike keeps taking off his Squirt uniform!
- 00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:31,861 Ike, you behave!
- 00:02:31,986 --> 00:02:32,903 Floor!
- 00:02:33,028 --> 00:02:33,571 No, Ike!
- 00:02:33,696 --> 00:02:34,947 Ba-ba ba-ba!
- 00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:36,323 I don't think Ike wants to go to Squirts.
- 00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:38,284 Ike, your brother Kyle was in Squirts and so was I.
- 00:02:38,409 --> 00:02:39,702 You have to go so that someday
- 00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:41,203 you can be a big, brave Jew Scout!
- 00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:42,663 No!
- 00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:44,456 Tell Ike how much fun Squirts is, Kyle.
- 00:02:44,582 --> 00:02:45,416 What, you want me to lie!
- 00:02:45,541 --> 00:02:46,375 Yeah, lie.
- 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:47,543 Oh.
- 00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:48,669 Ike, Squirts is so much fun.
- 00:02:48,794 --> 00:02:50,588 Oh my God, what is that!!
- 00:02:52,423 --> 00:02:53,382 Hey, it's a bear!
- 00:02:55,217 --> 00:02:57,136 Wow, cool!
- 00:02:57,261 --> 00:02:58,721 This retreat really <i>is</i> out of the way, isn't it!
- 00:03:02,975 --> 00:03:05,102 Welcome to Jewbilee, you folks find it okay!
- 00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:07,229 Yeah, actually we saw a bear a few miles back!
- 00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:08,606 He was huge!
- 00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:10,566 Yeah, we spotted him a few days ago.
- 00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,693 Nothing to worry about, though, your boys are safe with us!
- 00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:14,570 I'm sure they are.
- 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,864 We'll be back to pick you up after the meteor shower party, boys.
- 00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:17,823 Goodbye boys.
- 00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:19,325 Kyle and Ike, you be safe.
- 00:03:19,450 --> 00:03:20,451 And Kenny! - Mm-hmm!
- 00:03:20,576 --> 00:03:21,952 Try and act Jewish.
- 00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:25,247 How do I do that!
- 00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:26,832 Come on, Squirt, we're meeting over here!
- 00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:27,708 Who are you!
- 00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:29,126 I'm the Squirt leader.
- 00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:30,461 I don't <i>want</i> to be the Squirt leader,
- 00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:32,046 but I don't have a choice.
- 00:03:32,171 --> 00:03:33,964 It's the only way I can earn my <i>Hutzpah</i> badge
- 00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:36,717 so I gotta spend all night instructing Squirts!
- 00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:37,426 You have to go with him, Ike.
- 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:38,886 Ba-ba ba-ba.
- 00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:40,346 Don't worry, Ike, Squirts is fun.
- 00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:41,513 And I'll be right over there in the next building.
- 00:03:41,639 --> 00:03:42,681 Ba-ba!
- 00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:43,974 Come on-nn!!
- 00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:45,851 Name!
- 00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:47,019 Kyle Brovlofski.
- 00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:47,436 Mmnny mnnrmck.
- 00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:48,395 What!
- 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:49,897 Kenny Mcheimerberg.
- 00:03:50,022 --> 00:03:52,274 Alright, get to Mashugana Hall,
- 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:53,817 the meeting is already starting!
- 00:03:53,943 --> 00:03:54,860 What's this!
- 00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:56,528 This is where the elders meet.
- 00:03:56,654 --> 00:03:59,823 Nobody is allowed to go in there when they're having a meeting.
- 00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:09,208 I want to welcome you all.
- 00:04:09,333 --> 00:04:11,752 Though we each come from a different sect of Judaism
- 00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:15,339 on this night of Jewbilee, we all pray to Moses as one.
- 00:04:17,967 --> 00:04:19,593 Now let us introduce ourselves.
- 00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:22,972 Elder Karn from the Orthodox Synagogue.
- 00:04:23,097 --> 00:04:25,599 Elder Harris from the Hasidic Sect.
- 00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:29,270 Elder Garth, from the Synagogue of Anti-Semites.
- 00:04:30,980 --> 00:04:33,065 I... don't believe I've heard of
- 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:35,734 the Anti-Semetic sect of Judaism before...
- 00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:37,194 We're new.
- 00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:40,823 Okay, Squirts, the elders have given us
- 00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:42,741 a <i>very</i> important task tonight.
- 00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:46,453 We're all going to make... Macaroni pictures like this one.
- 00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:48,622 Using dry macaroni, paper, and glue.
- 00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:50,541 How come we have to make macaroni pictures!
- 00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:52,459 Because that's what Squirts do!
- 00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:53,836 Now shut your pie hole!
- 00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:56,005 What's your name!
- 00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:57,339 No!
- 00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:58,257 How come your head is looking so...
- 00:04:58,382 --> 00:04:59,133 funny looking!
- 00:04:59,258 --> 00:04:59,842 Uh-uh!
- 00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,766 And that's how we'll be making tonight's craft.
- 00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:09,268 And so you see, scouts,
- 00:05:09,393 --> 00:05:12,146 all you need is a bar of soap, and a dull knife
- 00:05:12,271 --> 00:05:14,356 and you can make nifty soap sculptures like these.
- 00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,025 Here's a giraffe.
- 00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:17,693 And here's a cloud.
- 00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:20,154 You can all pick up your bars of soap later on,
- 00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:22,281 as we will all be making soap sculptures tonight.
- 00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:24,533 Now, this year, we are pleased to announce
- 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:27,619 that Jewbilee has grown to over 100 Jew Scouts
- 00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:28,996 from all around the country!
- 00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:32,583 All new inductees raise your hands.
- 00:05:32,708 --> 00:05:34,585 That's you, Kenny, raise your hand.
- 00:05:41,342 --> 00:05:45,637 Uh... yes... And what is your name, young man!
- 00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:46,805 Junichi.
- 00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,307 Ah, wonderful!
- 00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:50,351 Uh, uhh...
- 00:05:50,476 --> 00:05:54,188 Could you run out and grab some of those candles for us!
- 00:05:56,732 --> 00:05:58,317 There we go.
- 00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:01,028 Now, I would like all the new inductees
- 00:06:01,153 --> 00:06:02,696 to step forward, please.
- 00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:04,948 This part kind of sucks, Kenny.
- 00:06:05,074 --> 00:06:06,325 But don't screw it up.
- 00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:08,827 Raise your left hand and repeat after me:
- 00:06:08,952 --> 00:06:11,163 "I pledge to be a Jew Scout."
- 00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:13,040 I pledge to be a Jew Scout.
- 00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:15,376 "My honor wide and true."
- 00:06:15,501 --> 00:06:16,794 My honor wide and true.
- 00:06:16,919 --> 00:06:18,629 "I am proud to be a Jew Scout."
- 00:06:18,754 --> 00:06:20,589 I am proud to be a Jew Scout
- 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,883 "Otherwise, I'd just be a Jew."
- 00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:25,302 Otherwise, I'd just be a Jew.
- 00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:26,178 Na-heek kayem.
- 00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:27,388 Na-heek kayem.
- 00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,475 Na-heek kayem.
- 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,018 Na-heek kayem.
- 00:06:36,814 --> 00:06:38,690 Na-heek kayem.
- 00:06:38,816 --> 00:06:40,943 Mph-mph mrph-mpph.
- 00:06:44,488 --> 00:06:46,323 Aaaagghghg!!!
- 00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,787 Okay, Squirts, let's see what you made macaroni pictures of.
- 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:52,996 Ichmael!
- 00:06:53,122 --> 00:06:53,664 Apple!
- 00:06:53,789 --> 00:06:54,623 Good!
- 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:55,541 Matthew!
- 00:06:55,666 --> 00:06:56,458 Cat.
- 00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:57,876 Joseph!
- 00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,002 Triangle!
- 00:06:59,128 --> 00:07:00,087 Okay.
- 00:07:00,212 --> 00:07:01,088 Ike!
- 00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:02,464 Ko-ka shan!
- 00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:06,885 You don't make a macaroni picture of the Last Supper
- 00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:08,053 at a Jewish camp!
- 00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:11,682 What the cheese?!
- 00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:16,520 Oh my God, it's that bear they've been talking about!!
- 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:20,816 Where'd he go!
- 00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:23,610 Squirts, go grab your gear!
- 00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,237 We're gonna go hunt us a bear!
- 00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:28,157 Then I'll get my Hutzpah badge for sure!
- 00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:37,708 Oh, enough already!
- 00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:39,251 What has Moses ever done for us!
- 00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,378 All sects of Judaism follow the words of Moses!
- 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:43,213 Not mine!
- 00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:45,507 Tonight's meteor shower is a sign of the <i>new</i> time.
- 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,342 We should use it to pray to <i>Hamon</i>
- 00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:48,969 and enter into a new millennium of faith.
- 00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:50,387 Enough, elder!
- 00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:52,139 You will not speak the name of Hamon here!
- 00:07:52,264 --> 00:07:53,974 All you ever do is worship Moses!
- 00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:55,309 But it says in the Book of Centuries
- 00:07:55,434 --> 00:07:56,935 that Hamon will one day lead the Jews.
- 00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:59,438 We pray to Moses here, elder.
- 00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:02,191 If you guys love Moses so much why don't you marry him!
- 00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:05,444 We accept all denominations of Judaism here at scouts, elder,
- 00:08:05,569 --> 00:08:08,363 but your Synagogue of Anti-Semites is too strange.
- 00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:10,282 Get out and do not return!
- 00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:11,575 You are no longer welcome here!
- 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:12,951 Fine!
- 00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:14,745 Jewbilee is the time of Hamon!
- 00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:17,039 You will all see how wrong you are very soon,
- 00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:19,791 when Hamon returns from the ninth tower of deaf illusionment
- 00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:22,127 and smotes Moses and all his followers into pillars of dust
- 00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:24,004 that would cry for their petty lives, but can't,
- 00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:25,839 having recently been turned into dust and all.
- 00:08:25,964 --> 00:08:28,759 You will see, you will see this very night!
- 00:08:30,052 --> 00:08:30,928 Hel-lo.
- 00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:39,102 C'mon, Kenny.
- 00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:40,312 You have to get in the circle.
- 00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:41,396 What are we doing!
- 00:08:41,522 --> 00:08:42,731 This is where we all stand in a circle
- 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,274 and pray to Moses for guidance during Jewbilee.
- 00:08:44,399 --> 00:08:45,776 I think it's stupid!
- 00:08:45,901 --> 00:08:47,319 It is <i>not</i> stupid, Kenny!
- 00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:48,570 This is my faith and you shouldn't make fun of it!
- 00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:49,905 Alright, Jew Scouts.
- 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:51,698 The meteor shower will start soon.
- 00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:54,284 Let us pray to Moses for guidance.
- 00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:56,954 Moses... great leader.
- 00:08:57,079 --> 00:08:58,914 On this blessed night of Jewbilee,
- 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,666 we ask for your tutelage.
- 00:09:00,791 --> 00:09:02,668 May the teachings of Moses
- 00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:05,712 fill our ears and our hearts, respectively.
- 00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:07,714 Ohmmmmm...
- 00:09:08,674 --> 00:09:11,385 Ohmmmmmm...
- 00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:15,514 Stupid assholes!
- 00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:17,432 Moses ain't gonna teach them anything.
- 00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:20,561 Do not fear, Hamon, this night shall be yours.
- 00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:23,355 And the Anti-Semetic Jews will once again rule the earth!
- 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:24,690 ♪ We are Squirts we are Squirts ♪
- 00:09:24,815 --> 00:09:26,108 ♪ We're so kosher that it hurts ♪
- 00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:27,276 ♪ When we get older we will be scouts ♪
- 00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:28,610 ♪ But until then we are Squirts ♪
- 00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:32,030 There he is, Squirts!
- 00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:34,366 Okay Squirts, remember the plan:
- 00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:36,451 immobilize and attack.
- 00:09:36,577 --> 00:09:38,203 Matthew, you immobilize the bear with the net,
- 00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:40,872 then echo team run up and attack it with your Squirtknives.
- 00:09:40,998 --> 00:09:43,000 Don't get too close now,
- 00:09:43,125 --> 00:09:45,252 just close enough to throw the net on the stupid bear.
- 00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:50,799 Now!!
- 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,554 Oh, Frank!
- 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:57,139 Nooo!
- 00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:58,765 Oh no!
- 00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:00,309 Oh God!
- 00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:03,228 Oh, the bear took a Squirt!
- 00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:05,022 Oh, I'm gonna get it now!!
- 00:10:05,147 --> 00:10:07,316 Ohmmmm... Ohmmmm...
- 00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:12,404 Mprh mm mrph mrmmp!
- 00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:14,364 Shh! Shut up, Kenny!
- 00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:26,960 What the mphhh is that!
- 00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:28,587 That's Moses, stupid!
- 00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:34,217 Great Moses, we, your most loyal followers,
- 00:10:34,343 --> 00:10:35,761 want to thank you a lot for coming.
- 00:10:35,886 --> 00:10:38,013 The hour of Jewbilee is near.
- 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,932 Let all debts be forgiven and all slaves freed.
- 00:10:41,058 --> 00:10:43,393 Mwaaaaaaa...
- 00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:45,270 Mwaaa... Mwaaa...
- 00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:47,272 Alright scouts, let's all show Moses
- 00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:50,942 our soap sculptures so that he may rejoice and be pleased.
- 00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:02,412 It's a duck.
- 00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:06,416 "And it was foretold that the spirit of Moses
- 00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:10,128 "would finally rest, when his spirit was imprisoned by Hamon
- 00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:12,923 in a conch shell of blind faith..."
- 00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:15,509 A conch shell... Like this one!
- 00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:20,806 Moses, the Squirts have made you tidings of macaroni pictures...
- 00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:22,599 They should be here any second...
- 00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:24,351 Where the hell are the Squirts?
- 00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:27,187 We need those macaroni pictures for Moses, right now!
- 00:11:34,069 --> 00:11:37,072 Now, we'll just see how Mr. Bear likes rat poison...
- 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:40,033 That oughta be enough to kill a stupid bear!
- 00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:42,244 Okay, raise the tray!
- 00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:45,163 Hutzpah badge here I come!
- 00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:47,833 Yikes!
- 00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:52,045 Okay, here he comes. Easy now... easy Squirts.
- 00:11:54,089 --> 00:11:56,174 Okay, Squirt! Lower the tray!
- 00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:59,678 That's it... That's it you Goddamn stupid bear-face...
- 00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:02,973 Agh!
- 00:12:03,098 --> 00:12:04,057 Ahhhh!
- 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,810 Jesus, hell, he got another Squirt!
- 00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:08,186 Mommy!
- 00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:09,813 You think you can stop me
- 00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:11,982 from getting my Hutzpah badge, you stupid bear?!
- 00:12:12,107 --> 00:12:13,984 Think again!
- 00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:17,738 ♪ Kumbaya, my Lord, kumbaya ♪
- 00:12:17,863 --> 00:12:20,449 ♪ Oh Lord, kumbaya... ♪♪
- 00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:22,325 Great and honorable Moses
- 00:12:22,451 --> 00:12:24,953 what do desire from us, your children!
- 00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:26,788 I desire...
- 00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:33,211 I desire macaroni pictures.
- 00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:36,965 Yes, yes. The macaroni pictures are coming right away.
- 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:40,302 Uh, anything else you want from us, oh, great leader of the people!
- 00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:45,265 I desire... popcorn necklaces.
- 00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:46,808 You heard him!
- 00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,769 Get to making popcorn necklaces, right away!
- 00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:51,313 All you need is some popcorn and a needle and thread!
- 00:12:57,986 --> 00:12:59,029 Hold!
- 00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:03,950 There is... an impurity...
- 00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:06,495 Oh no, he's on to me, Hamon!
- 00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:09,748 An impurity, Moses!?
- 00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:12,834 This child here is not Kosher.
- 00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:13,919 Uh-oh.
- 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:19,466 What are we gonna do!!
- 00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:21,218 Don't worry, I know what to do.
- 00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:23,720 Scout Brovlofski, have you defiled Jew Scouts
- 00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:25,889 by bringing a non-Hebrew to Jewbilee?
- 00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:28,475 Elder, it's not my fault.
- 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:29,726 He told me he was Jewish.
- 00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:30,852 What!
- 00:13:36,233 --> 00:13:38,151 A non-Jew has infiltrated Jew Scouts
- 00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:39,736 and looked upon the face of Moses.
- 00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:41,571 He must be dealt with.
- 00:13:41,696 --> 00:13:43,198 Mph rmph rm rmph rm rmph rm!
- 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,408 You are banished from here.
- 00:13:45,534 --> 00:13:47,744 You must leave, before the Great Eating of Carrot Cake.
- 00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:48,620 What!
- 00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:49,704 He doesn't get cake!
- 00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:51,414 No cake for the impurity.
- 00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:53,959 Go now, you do not belong here.
- 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:08,056 Aaagghgh!
- 00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:09,724 Eem batu kom da-veed!
- 00:14:09,850 --> 00:14:11,810 Da-veed hakem bar laka shtood.
- 00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:13,186 Elder! What are you doing!
- 00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:15,188 Shtood valak shtood inka inka broost!
- 00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:16,815 He is reading from the Book of Hamon!
- 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:18,775 Into the conch shell, Moses!
- 00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:21,027 Hellllllppp!
- 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,284 And there you shall stay, trapped for all eternity!
- 00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:29,160 Elder! What have you done!!
- 00:14:29,286 --> 00:14:31,580 I told you. The meteor shower is the time of Hamon!
- 00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:33,540 <i>I</i> am running Jewbilee now!
- 00:14:33,665 --> 00:14:35,166 Release Moses now!
- 00:14:35,292 --> 00:14:37,752 I don't think so...
- 00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:40,755 When do we get to eat carrot cake!
- 00:14:40,881 --> 00:14:42,340 Now, all of you into that building
- 00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:43,633 or I'll shoot you where you stand!
- 00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:45,135 Elder, you cannot mean--
- 00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:46,803 Move!
- 00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:01,151 Now! Now, Hamon! Your time has come!
- 00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:03,069 Dude, what the hell is going on!
- 00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:05,572 If he summons Hamon, we will all be destroyed.
- 00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:07,157 Oh no!
- 00:15:07,282 --> 00:15:09,117 ♪ We are Jew Squirts we know Jew words ♪
- 00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:09,951 ♪ Schtick schtick ♪
- 00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:10,744 ♪ Shmadda shmadda ♪
- 00:15:10,869 --> 00:15:11,786 ♪ Schtick schtick ♪
- 00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:12,370 ♪ Shmadda shmadda ♪
- 00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:13,997 Hold it, Squirts!
- 00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:15,248 This is where we'll set our trap!
- 00:15:15,373 --> 00:15:16,541 Everyone remember your squadron.
- 00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:18,585 Alpha-5 and Gamma-7 will be on recon team.
- 00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:20,295 Alpha will take left flank
- 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,130 and flush the bear out of Sector-3.
- 00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:23,798 Once we're in position,
- 00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:26,217 I want constant contact between all squad leaders.
- 00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:28,219 We'll flush him out and then attack him!
- 00:15:28,345 --> 00:15:30,180 Ahhh! - Remember, this is only a bear.
- 00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:31,598 All we have to do is stick together,
- 00:15:31,723 --> 00:15:33,183 and we can spend the rest of the night
- 00:15:33,308 --> 00:15:34,976 making bear sandwiches!
- 00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:38,438 Where is Ichmael!
- 00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:39,356 No!
- 00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:40,899 Goddamnit!
- 00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:42,901 You stupid Goddamn son-a-of-bear!
- 00:15:43,026 --> 00:15:44,986 You've taken your last Squirt, you hear me!
- 00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:47,906 "And the ancient one looked upon Hamon
- 00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:49,866 "as the new leader of the people.
- 00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:53,453 And it was the night that stars flew around in the sky..."
- 00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:55,664 Yes, yes!
- 00:15:55,789 --> 00:15:57,082 If he summons Hamon,
- 00:15:57,207 --> 00:15:59,167 it will be the end of everything we hold dear.
- 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:00,335 I wanna go home.
- 00:16:05,674 --> 00:16:06,549 Mlp!
- 00:16:11,388 --> 00:16:13,014 Mlp!!
- 00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:16,101 Sh-mmm-t!
- 00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:19,604 That bear thinks he can outsmart me!
- 00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,940 Well, I'm not gonna let a stupid bear get--
- 00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:24,192 Hold, look over there!
- 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:26,945 It's one of the Squirts the bear took!
- 00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:28,530 Maybe he's okay!
- 00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:40,625 It's a trap!
- 00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:48,883 Damn! Damn damn damn!
- 00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:51,511 Okay, bear, that does it!
- 00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:53,138 You want to kill all the Squirts!
- 00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:54,139 You can have 'em!
- 00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:55,640 I give up!
- 00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:58,143 I don't need my Hutzpah badge, or Jew Scouts
- 00:16:58,268 --> 00:16:59,936 or any of this crap!
- 00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:01,771 Forget it!!
- 00:17:01,896 --> 00:17:03,106 Let the new tide turn!
- 00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:04,941 Let Hamon rule his people once again!
- 00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:06,067 No!
- 00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:08,820 We await your return, Hamon!
- 00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:10,739 Your passage is safe from enemies!
- 00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,907 Arhhh!
- 00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:16,327 It's hopeless.
- 00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:18,997 Hamon will be summoned, and we will be forced to obey him...
- 00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:20,123 or die.
- 00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:22,542 I'm fine with obeying.
- 00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:24,169 Yeah, obeying should work out swell.
- 00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:25,712 Don't worry you guys, he forgot about Kenny.
- 00:17:25,837 --> 00:17:26,337 Kenny will help us.
- 00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:27,464 How!
- 00:17:27,589 --> 00:17:28,298 Kenny will find a way.
- 00:17:28,423 --> 00:17:30,133 Rmpppphh!!
- 00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:33,178 Mphh!
- 00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:37,599 Hey, welcome to the party!
- 00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:40,226 See this little bear cub!
- 00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:42,145 It's his birthday!
- 00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:43,646 Yeah, so his mommy brought us all over to play with him!
- 00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:47,108 Aww...
- 00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:51,696 Mprhm, mrm mrph rmph!
- 00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:54,657 Mrphm rmphm rmh rmhprm!!
- 00:17:56,117 --> 00:17:57,494 They are! Uh-oh!
- 00:17:57,619 --> 00:18:00,038 Mprph rm mprhm mrph, rmph rm rmphm rpmh!!!
- 00:18:00,163 --> 00:18:02,415 Come on, Squirts, we have to help them!
- 00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:03,416 Yeah!
- 00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:15,637 Elder Schwartz, I lost the Squirts...
- 00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:18,348 I lost all the Squirts...
- 00:18:18,473 --> 00:18:20,475 But screw you!
- 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,811 I don't need your Hutzpah badge anyway!
- 00:18:22,936 --> 00:18:24,145 Hello!?
- 00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:25,230 Schlomo, get us out of here!
- 00:18:25,355 --> 00:18:26,815 What the cheese?!
- 00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:28,650 What are you guys doing in there!
- 00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:30,860 Get the keys and unlock the door!
- 00:18:30,985 --> 00:18:32,028 What!
- 00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:33,696 Get the keys and unlock the door!
- 00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:36,866 I lost the Squirts.
- 00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:38,618 Look out!
- 00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:39,786 Huh!
- 00:18:39,911 --> 00:18:40,912 Don't move!
- 00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:42,330 Oh jiminy gravy, what is this!!
- 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,040 It is the summoning of Hamon, fool.
- 00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:45,667 The wakening of a new kingdom.
- 00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:48,503 You can't awake Hamon, what would Moses say?
- 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,004 Moses is trapped for all eternity
- 00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:51,965 in the Conch of Blind Faith.
- 00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:55,301 Oh no, you don't!
- 00:18:56,386 --> 00:18:58,429 Owwwwww!
- 00:18:58,555 --> 00:18:59,764 Enough of this waste of time!
- 00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:04,853 Hamon, the great summoning is done!
- 00:19:04,978 --> 00:19:07,522 Upon these words let your spirit come!
- 00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:09,149 Ayneck, holst...
- 00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:10,066 It is lost...
- 00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:12,026 Na-yak, ka-reem!
- 00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:13,319 Woo-hoo!
- 00:19:13,444 --> 00:19:14,988 Hey! Give that back!
- 00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:17,866 It's the Squirts! - Go, Ike!
- 00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:20,201 Unlock the door, Squirts, the keys are up there!
- 00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:21,536 They'll never reach!
- 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,580 Squirts, fall in, Chinese formation!
- 00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:24,789 Hup! Hup! Hup!
- 00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:25,623 Hup! Hup! Hup!
- 00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:26,833 Give me that book!
- 00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:29,669 Hamon will deal with you!
- 00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:30,712 Hup! Hup! Hup!
- 00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:39,762 Oh no, it's too late!
- 00:19:39,888 --> 00:19:42,056 Gramack, shtoood!
- 00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:54,944 What is <i>that</i>!
- 00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:55,987 It is Hamon.
- 00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:56,946 Yes!!
- 00:19:57,071 --> 00:19:58,406 Yes!!!
- 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:05,705 Free! Free to punish those that imprisoned me!
- 00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:07,207 Hamon, it's me, Garth!
- 00:20:07,332 --> 00:20:08,082 I freed you!
- 00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:09,500 Look!
- 00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:13,171 Mphh hmmmp rppp!
- 00:20:13,296 --> 00:20:15,173 Kenny, noooooo!
- 00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:21,346 Moses!
- 00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:23,181 Nooooo!!
- 00:20:23,306 --> 00:20:25,350 No! Noooooo!!
- 00:20:33,524 --> 00:20:35,610 Moses... I--
- 00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:38,238 I apologize for any inconvenience.
- 00:20:38,363 --> 00:20:39,989 You see I was just, uh--
- 00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:41,616 Die!
- 00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:44,661 Arrrghhh!
- 00:20:46,955 --> 00:20:47,622 Hooray!
- 00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:49,374 Kenny!
- 00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:52,961 That blow to his head must have killed him.
- 00:20:53,086 --> 00:20:57,006 He saved us, he saved all the Jews.
- 00:20:57,131 --> 00:20:59,133 Y'know, I think we all learned something today...
- 00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:01,386 It's fine to have your own beliefs and your own traditions,
- 00:21:01,511 --> 00:21:03,429 but as soon as you start excluding people from your ways,
- 00:21:03,554 --> 00:21:05,723 only because of their race, you become separatist.
- 00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:07,600 And being a separatist sucks ass.
- 00:21:07,725 --> 00:21:10,103 We've learned a lot from you and your great friend, Kenny.
- 00:21:10,228 --> 00:21:12,897 Every year we shall gather here in this special place
- 00:21:13,022 --> 00:21:15,024 and bring Kenny tidings of soap sculptures
- 00:21:15,149 --> 00:21:16,150 and macaroni pictures.
- 00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:17,652 Yes!
- 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:18,736 And those little shaker things
- 00:21:18,861 --> 00:21:21,030 where you put beans inside of paper plates
- 00:21:21,155 --> 00:21:22,282 that are glued together.
- 00:21:22,407 --> 00:21:23,574 Paper plate bean shakers!
- 00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:25,785 And let us put patterns of glue
- 00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:27,870 on the outside of those paper plates
- 00:21:27,996 --> 00:21:29,497 so that we can then pour glitter on them
- 00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:30,957 so they look nice and sparkly.
- 00:21:31,082 --> 00:21:32,917 You heard him, scouts, let's get to work!
- 00:00:10,594 --> 00:00:11,512 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:11,637 --> 00:00:13,556 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:15,391 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,059 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:18,394 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,354 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:21,939 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:23,607 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
- 00:00:23,733 --> 00:00:25,067 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
- 00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:26,902 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:27,028 --> 00:00:30,239 ♪ [Mumbling] ♪
- 00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:31,741 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:31,866 --> 00:00:33,409 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:35,619 --> 00:00:36,704 Hold still, Ike.
- 00:00:36,829 --> 00:00:37,955 We have to get you dressed.
- 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:39,457 Where the heck is Kyle!
- 00:00:39,582 --> 00:00:40,374 I don't know.
- 00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:41,542 Come on, Kyle!
- 00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:43,753 You're gonna be late for Jew Scouts!
- 00:00:43,878 --> 00:00:45,880 [humming] ♪ Hmm hmmm, da daaaa ♪
- 00:00:46,005 --> 00:00:46,839 Kyle!
- 00:00:46,964 --> 00:00:47,798 I'm coming, Ma!!
- 00:00:47,923 --> 00:00:48,674 [doorbell]
- 00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:50,009 Go get the door, Kyle!
- 00:00:50,134 --> 00:00:51,635 "Get ready", "answer the door"!
- 00:00:51,761 --> 00:00:56,015 Jesus Christ, make up your friggin' mind!
- 00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:57,475 Oh, hey, Kenny.
- 00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:59,185 Mph rm rmph rm rmph rm rmph rm!
- 00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:00,603 I can't watch the meteor shower with you, Kenny.
- 00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:01,812 I have to go to <i>Jewbilee.</i>
- 00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:02,855 [mumbling] What's that!
- 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,273 It's what we do in Jew Scouts.
- 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:05,691 Usually we just sit around and make stuff,
- 00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:06,859 but tonight because there's a meteor shower
- 00:01:06,984 --> 00:01:08,486 we're gonna do some big thing out in the woods.
- 00:01:08,611 --> 00:01:09,653 It's gonna suck ass, I'm sure.
- 00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:11,447 [mumbles] Oh, that's too bad.
- 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:12,782 Hey, maybe you can go with me!
- 00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:14,075 Then it won't suck so hard!
- 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:15,576 Really!
- 00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:17,161 Mom, can Kenny go to Jewbilee with me!
- 00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:20,122 Well, Kyle...Jewbilee is sort of a...
- 00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:21,582 ...special thing.
- 00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:23,876 Oh. Kenny isn't special?
- 00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:25,169 Awww.
- 00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:27,046 No, no. You're very special, Kenny.
- 00:01:27,171 --> 00:01:30,633 It's just that... well, Jewbilee is for Jewish kids.
- 00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:34,929 You see, boys, Jew Scouts is a special group
- 00:01:35,054 --> 00:01:37,765 that borrows a little bit from all different Jewish denominations.
- 00:01:37,890 --> 00:01:40,643 From the Orthodox Jews, from the Hasidic Jews
- 00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:42,603 from the Northern Italy Cave Jews...
- 00:01:42,728 --> 00:01:45,689 But you have to believe the basic tenets of Judaism to be a scout.
- 00:01:45,815 --> 00:01:47,149 Kenny'll believe whatever you want him to.
- 00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:48,150 Yeah!
- 00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:49,985 Kyle, the problem is...
- 00:01:50,111 --> 00:01:51,570 Please, Ma.
- 00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:52,738 I don't think Kenny has anywhere else to be tonight.
- 00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:54,490 Oh alright.
- 00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:55,741 Just don't let any of the elders know
- 00:01:55,866 --> 00:01:56,992 that he isn't Jewish, okay!
- 00:01:57,118 --> 00:01:58,119 Woo-hoo!
- 00:01:58,244 --> 00:01:59,286 Come on, Ike!
- 00:01:59,411 --> 00:02:00,329 It's time to go to Squirts!
- 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:01,664 Smrphs!
- 00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:02,790 You have to be in Squirts
- 00:02:02,915 --> 00:02:04,708 if you're too young to be a Jew Scout.
- 00:02:04,834 --> 00:02:06,752 Don't worry, Kenny, I'll fill you in on our faith on the way up there.
- 00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:10,047 ...And then, Kenny, Abraham's wife bore him no children,
- 00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:12,633 She had a handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar.
- 00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:14,343 And Sarai said unto Abraham,
- 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,637 "behold now, the Lord hath restrained me from bearing,
- 00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:18,597 I pray thee, go into my mate."
- 00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:20,141 Uh-huh...
- 00:02:20,266 --> 00:02:22,560 Abraham begat Issac, who the Lord then said to kill,
- 00:02:22,685 --> 00:02:24,228 but that was just a little silly trick
- 00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:25,312 to see if Abraham would do it.
- 00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:26,480 Uh-huh.
- 00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:27,857 [baby talk]
- 00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:29,316 No, Ike!
- 00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:30,693 Ma, Ike keeps taking off his Squirt uniform!
- 00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:31,861 Ike, you behave!
- 00:02:31,986 --> 00:02:32,903 Floor!
- 00:02:33,028 --> 00:02:33,571 No, Ike!
- 00:02:33,696 --> 00:02:34,947 Ba-ba ba-ba!
- 00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:36,323 I don't think Ike wants to go to Squirts.
- 00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:38,284 Ike, your brother Kyle was in Squirts and so was I.
- 00:02:38,409 --> 00:02:39,702 You have to go so that someday
- 00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:41,203 you can be a big, brave Jew Scout!
- 00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:42,663 No!
- 00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:44,456 Tell Ike how much fun Squirts is, Kyle.
- 00:02:44,582 --> 00:02:45,416 What, you want me to lie!
- 00:02:45,541 --> 00:02:46,375 Yeah, lie.
- 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:47,543 Oh.
- 00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:48,669 Ike, Squirts is so much fun.
- 00:02:48,794 --> 00:02:50,588 Oh my God, what is that!!
- 00:02:52,423 --> 00:02:53,382 Hey, it's a bear!
- 00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,092 [growl]
- 00:02:55,217 --> 00:02:57,136 Wow, cool!
- 00:02:57,261 --> 00:02:58,721 This retreat really <i>is</i> out of the way, isn't it!
- 00:03:02,975 --> 00:03:05,102 Welcome to Jewbilee, you folks find it okay!
- 00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:07,229 Yeah, actually we saw a bear a few miles back!
- 00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:08,606 He was huge!
- 00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:10,566 Yeah, we spotted him a few days ago.
- 00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,693 Nothing to worry about, though, your boys are safe with us!
- 00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:14,570 I'm sure they are.
- 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,864 We'll be back to pick you up after the meteor shower party, boys.
- 00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:17,823 Goodbye boys.
- 00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:19,325 Kyle and Ike, you be safe.
- 00:03:19,450 --> 00:03:20,451 And Kenny! - Mm-hmm!
- 00:03:20,576 --> 00:03:21,952 Try and act Jewish.
- 00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:25,247 How do I do that!
- 00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:26,832 [with braces lisp] Come on, Squirt, we're meeting over here!
- 00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:27,708 Who are you!
- 00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:29,126 I'm the Squirt leader.
- 00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:30,461 I don't <i>want</i> to be the Squirt leader,
- 00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:32,046 but I don't have a choice.
- 00:03:32,171 --> 00:03:33,964 It's the only way I can earn my <i>Hutzpah</i> badge
- 00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:36,717 so I gotta spend all night instructing Squirts!
- 00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:37,426 You have to go with him, Ike.
- 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:38,886 Ba-ba ba-ba.
- 00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:40,346 Don't worry, Ike, Squirts is fun.
- 00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:41,513 And I'll be right over there in the next building.
- 00:03:41,639 --> 00:03:42,681 Ba-ba!
- 00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:43,974 [whining] Come on-nn!!
- 00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:45,851 Name!
- 00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:47,019 Kyle Brovlofski.
- 00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:47,436 [mumbling] Mmnny mnnrmck.
- 00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:48,395 What!
- 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:49,897 Kenny Mcheimerberg.
- 00:03:50,022 --> 00:03:52,274 Alright, get to Mashugana Hall,
- 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:53,817 the meeting is already starting!
- 00:03:53,943 --> 00:03:54,860 What's this!
- 00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:56,528 This is where the elders meet.
- 00:03:56,654 --> 00:03:59,823 Nobody is allowed to go in there when they're having a meeting.
- 00:03:59,949 --> 00:04:01,325 [speaking in Hebrew]
- 00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:09,208 I want to welcome you all.
- 00:04:09,333 --> 00:04:11,752 Though we each come from a different sect of Judaism
- 00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:15,339 on this night of Jewbilee, we all pray to Moses as one.
- 00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:17,841 [in Hebrew]
- 00:04:17,967 --> 00:04:19,593 Now let us introduce ourselves.
- 00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:22,972 Elder Karn from the Orthodox Synagogue.
- 00:04:23,097 --> 00:04:25,599 Elder Harris from the Hasidic Sect.
- 00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:29,270 Elder Garth, from the Synagogue of Anti-Semites.
- 00:04:30,980 --> 00:04:33,065 I... don't believe I've heard of
- 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:35,734 the Anti-Semetic sect of Judaism before...
- 00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:37,194 We're new.
- 00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:40,823 Okay, Squirts, the elders have given us
- 00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:42,741 a <i>very</i> important task tonight.
- 00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:46,453 We're all going to make... Macaroni pictures like this one.
- 00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:48,622 Using dry macaroni, paper, and glue.
- 00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:50,541 How come we have to make macaroni pictures!
- 00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:52,459 Because that's what Squirts do!
- 00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:53,836 Now shut your pie hole!
- 00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:56,005 What's your name!
- 00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:57,339 No!
- 00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:58,257 How come your head is looking so...
- 00:04:58,382 --> 00:04:59,133 funny looking!
- 00:04:59,258 --> 00:04:59,842 Uh-uh!
- 00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,766 And that's how we'll be making tonight's craft.
- 00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:09,268 And so you see, scouts,
- 00:05:09,393 --> 00:05:12,146 all you need is a bar of soap, and a dull knife
- 00:05:12,271 --> 00:05:14,356 and you can make nifty soap sculptures like these.
- 00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,025 Here's a giraffe.
- 00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:17,693 And here's a cloud.
- 00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:20,154 You can all pick up your bars of soap later on,
- 00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:22,281 as we will all be making soap sculptures tonight.
- 00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:24,533 Now, this year, we are pleased to announce
- 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:27,619 that Jewbilee has grown to over 100 Jew Scouts
- 00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:28,996 from all around the country!
- 00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:32,583 All new inductees raise your hands.
- 00:05:32,708 --> 00:05:34,585 That's you, Kenny, raise your hand.
- 00:05:41,342 --> 00:05:45,637 Uh... yes... And what is your name, young man!
- 00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:46,805 Junichi.
- 00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,307 Ah, wonderful!
- 00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:50,351 Uh, uhh...
- 00:05:50,476 --> 00:05:54,188 Could you run out and grab some of those candles for us!
- 00:05:56,732 --> 00:05:58,317 There we go.
- 00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:01,028 Now, I would like all the new inductees
- 00:06:01,153 --> 00:06:02,696 to step forward, please.
- 00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:04,948 This part kind of sucks, Kenny.
- 00:06:05,074 --> 00:06:06,325 But don't screw it up.
- 00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:08,827 Raise your left hand and repeat after me:
- 00:06:08,952 --> 00:06:11,163 "I pledge to be a Jew Scout."
- 00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:13,040 I pledge to be a Jew Scout.
- 00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:15,376 "My honor wide and true."
- 00:06:15,501 --> 00:06:16,794 My honor wide and true.
- 00:06:16,919 --> 00:06:18,629 "I am proud to be a Jew Scout."
- 00:06:18,754 --> 00:06:20,589 I am proud to be a Jew Scout
- 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,883 "Otherwise, I'd just be a Jew."
- 00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:25,302 Otherwise, I'd just be a Jew.
- 00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:26,178 Na-heek kayem.
- 00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:27,388 Na-heek kayem.
- 00:06:27,513 --> 00:06:29,431 [bwong]
- 00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,475 Na-heek kayem.
- 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,018 Na-heek kayem.
- 00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:35,104 [bwonnnggg]
- 00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:36,688 [crying]
- 00:06:36,814 --> 00:06:38,690 Na-heek kayem.
- 00:06:38,816 --> 00:06:40,943 Mph-mph mrph-mpph.
- 00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:42,986 [bwong]
- 00:06:43,112 --> 00:06:44,363 [snickering]
- 00:06:44,488 --> 00:06:46,323 [bwong bwong bwong] Aaaagghghg!!!
- 00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,787 Okay, Squirts, let's see what you made macaroni pictures of.
- 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:52,996 Ichmael!
- 00:06:53,122 --> 00:06:53,664 Apple!
- 00:06:53,789 --> 00:06:54,623 Good!
- 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:55,541 Matthew!
- 00:06:55,666 --> 00:06:56,458 Cat.
- 00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:57,876 Joseph!
- 00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,002 Triangle!
- 00:06:59,128 --> 00:07:00,087 Okay.
- 00:07:00,212 --> 00:07:01,088 Ike!
- 00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:02,464 Ko-ka shan!
- 00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,299 [gasp]
- 00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:06,885 You don't make a macaroni picture of the Last Supper
- 00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:08,053 at a Jewish camp!
- 00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:10,556 [crash and growling]
- 00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:11,682 What the cheese?!
- 00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:16,520 Oh my God, it's that bear they've been talking about!!
- 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:20,816 Where'd he go!
- 00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:23,610 Squirts, go grab your gear!
- 00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,237 We're gonna go hunt us a bear!
- 00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:28,157 Then I'll get my Hutzpah badge for sure!
- 00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:31,702 [in Hebrew]
- 00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:37,708 Oh, enough already!
- 00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:39,251 What has Moses ever done for us!
- 00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,378 All sects of Judaism follow the words of Moses!
- 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:43,213 Not mine!
- 00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:45,507 Tonight's meteor shower is a sign of the <i>new</i> time.
- 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,342 We should use it to pray to <i>Hamon</i>
- 00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:48,969 and enter into a new millennium of faith.
- 00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:50,387 Enough, elder!
- 00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:52,139 You will not speak the name of Hamon here!
- 00:07:52,264 --> 00:07:53,974 All you ever do is worship Moses!
- 00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:55,309 But it says in the Book of Centuries
- 00:07:55,434 --> 00:07:56,935 that Hamon will one day lead the Jews.
- 00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:59,438 We pray to Moses here, elder.
- 00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:02,191 If you guys love Moses so much why don't you marry him!
- 00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:05,444 We accept all denominations of Judaism here at scouts, elder,
- 00:08:05,569 --> 00:08:08,363 but your Synagogue of Anti-Semites is too strange.
- 00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:10,282 Get out and do not return!
- 00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:11,575 You are no longer welcome here!
- 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:12,951 Fine!
- 00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:14,745 Jewbilee is the time of Hamon!
- 00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:17,039 You will all see how wrong you are very soon,
- 00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:19,791 when Hamon returns from the ninth tower of deaf illusionment
- 00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:22,127 and smotes Moses and all his followers into pillars of dust
- 00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:24,004 that would cry for their petty lives, but can't,
- 00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:25,839 having recently been turned into dust and all.
- 00:08:25,964 --> 00:08:28,759 You will see, you will see this very night!
- 00:08:30,052 --> 00:08:30,928 Hel-lo.
- 00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:39,102 C'mon, Kenny.
- 00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:40,312 You have to get in the circle.
- 00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:41,396 [mumbling] What are we doing!
- 00:08:41,522 --> 00:08:42,731 This is where we all stand in a circle
- 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,274 and pray to Moses for guidance during Jewbilee.
- 00:08:44,399 --> 00:08:45,776 [laughing] I think it's stupid!
- 00:08:45,901 --> 00:08:47,319 It is <i>not</i> stupid, Kenny!
- 00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:48,570 This is my faith and you shouldn't make fun of it!
- 00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:49,905 Alright, Jew Scouts.
- 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:51,698 The meteor shower will start soon.
- 00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:54,284 Let us pray to Moses for guidance.
- 00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:56,954 Moses... great leader.
- 00:08:57,079 --> 00:08:58,914 On this blessed night of Jewbilee,
- 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,666 we ask for your tutelage.
- 00:09:00,791 --> 00:09:02,668 [all together] May the teachings of Moses
- 00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:05,712 fill our ears and our hearts, respectively.
- 00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:07,714 Ohmmmmm...
- 00:09:08,674 --> 00:09:11,385 [all] Ohmmmmmm...
- 00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:15,514 Stupid assholes!
- 00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:17,432 Moses ain't gonna teach them anything.
- 00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:20,561 Do not fear, Hamon, this night shall be yours.
- 00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:23,355 And the Anti-Semetic Jews will once again rule the earth!
- 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:24,690 ♪ We are Squirts we are Squirts ♪
- 00:09:24,815 --> 00:09:26,108 ♪ We're so kosher that it hurts ♪
- 00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:27,276 ♪ When we get older we will be scouts ♪
- 00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:28,610 ♪ But until then we are Squirts ♪
- 00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:29,987 [gasp]
- 00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:32,030 There he is, Squirts!
- 00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:33,282 [sniff sniff]
- 00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:34,366 Okay Squirts, remember the plan:
- 00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:36,451 immobilize and attack.
- 00:09:36,577 --> 00:09:38,203 Matthew, you immobilize the bear with the net,
- 00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:40,872 then echo team run up and attack it with your Squirtknives.
- 00:09:40,998 --> 00:09:43,000 Don't get too close now,
- 00:09:43,125 --> 00:09:45,252 just close enough to throw the net on the stupid bear.
- 00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:50,799 Now!!
- 00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:51,967 [growl]
- 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,554 Oh, Frank!
- 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:57,139 [roar] Nooo!
- 00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:58,765 [whining] Oh no!
- 00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:00,309 Oh God!
- 00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:03,228 Oh, the bear took a Squirt!
- 00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:05,022 Oh, I'm gonna get it now!!
- 00:10:05,147 --> 00:10:07,316 Ohmmmm... Ohmmmm...
- 00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:11,278 [rumbling]
- 00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:12,404 Mprh mm mrph mrmmp!
- 00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:14,364 Shh! Shut up, Kenny!
- 00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:26,960 What the mphhh is that!
- 00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:28,587 That's Moses, stupid!
- 00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:34,217 Great Moses, we, your most loyal followers,
- 00:10:34,343 --> 00:10:35,761 want to thank you a lot for coming.
- 00:10:35,886 --> 00:10:38,013 [phase-shifting voice] The hour of Jewbilee is near.
- 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,932 Let all debts be forgiven and all slaves freed.
- 00:10:41,058 --> 00:10:43,393 Mwaaaaaaa...
- 00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:45,270 Mwaaa... Mwaaa...
- 00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:47,272 Alright scouts, let's all show Moses
- 00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:50,942 our soap sculptures so that he may rejoice and be pleased.
- 00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:02,412 It's a duck.
- 00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:06,416 "And it was foretold that the spirit of Moses
- 00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:10,128 "would finally rest, when his spirit was imprisoned by Hamon
- 00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:12,923 in a conch shell of blind faith..."
- 00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:15,509 A conch shell... Like this one!
- 00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:20,806 Moses, the Squirts have made you tidings of macaroni pictures...
- 00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:22,599 They should be here any second...
- 00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:24,351 Where the hell are the Squirts?
- 00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:27,187 We need those macaroni pictures for Moses, right now!
- 00:11:34,069 --> 00:11:37,072 Now, we'll just see how Mr. Bear likes rat poison...
- 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:40,033 That oughta be enough to kill a stupid bear!
- 00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:42,244 Okay, raise the tray!
- 00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:45,163 Hutzpah badge here I come!
- 00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:46,581 [growl]
- 00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:47,833 Yikes!
- 00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:52,045 Okay, here he comes. Easy now... easy Squirts.
- 00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:53,964 [sniff sniff]
- 00:11:54,089 --> 00:11:56,174 Okay, Squirt! Lower the tray!
- 00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:59,678 That's it... That's it you Goddamn stupid bear-face...
- 00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:02,973 Agh!
- 00:12:03,098 --> 00:12:04,057 Ahhhh!
- 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,810 Jesus, hell, he got another Squirt!
- 00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:08,186 Mommy!
- 00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:09,813 You think you can stop me
- 00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:11,982 from getting my Hutzpah badge, you stupid bear?!
- 00:12:12,107 --> 00:12:13,984 Think again!
- 00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:17,738 [all] ♪ Kumbaya, my Lord, kumbaya ♪
- 00:12:17,863 --> 00:12:20,449 ♪ Oh Lord, kumbaya... ♪♪
- 00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:22,325 Great and honorable Moses
- 00:12:22,451 --> 00:12:24,953 what do desire from us, your children!
- 00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:26,788 I desire...
- 00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:33,211 I desire macaroni pictures.
- 00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:36,965 Yes, yes. The macaroni pictures are coming right away.
- 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:40,302 Uh, anything else you want from us, oh, great leader of the people!
- 00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:45,265 I desire... popcorn necklaces.
- 00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:46,808 You heard him!
- 00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,769 Get to making popcorn necklaces, right away!
- 00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:51,313 All you need is some popcorn and a needle and thread!
- 00:12:57,986 --> 00:12:59,029 Hold!
- 00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:03,950 There is... an impurity...
- 00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:06,495 Oh no, he's on to me, Hamon!
- 00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:07,454 [everyone gasps]
- 00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:09,748 An impurity, Moses!?
- 00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:12,834 This child here is not Kosher.
- 00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:13,919 Uh-oh.
- 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:19,466 What are we gonna do!!
- 00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:21,218 Don't worry, I know what to do.
- 00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:23,720 Scout Brovlofski, have you defiled Jew Scouts
- 00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:25,889 by bringing a non-Hebrew to Jewbilee?
- 00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:28,475 Elder, it's not my fault.
- 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:29,726 He told me he was Jewish.
- 00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:30,852 What!
- 00:13:36,233 --> 00:13:38,151 A non-Jew has infiltrated Jew Scouts
- 00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:39,736 and looked upon the face of Moses.
- 00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:41,571 He must be dealt with.
- 00:13:41,696 --> 00:13:43,198 [apologizing] Mph rmph rm rmph rm rmph rm!
- 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,408 You are banished from here.
- 00:13:45,534 --> 00:13:47,744 You must leave, before the Great Eating of Carrot Cake.
- 00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:48,620 What!
- 00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:49,704 He doesn't get cake!
- 00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:51,414 No cake for the impurity.
- 00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:53,959 Go now, you do not belong here.
- 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:08,056 Aaagghgh!
- 00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:09,724 Eem batu kom da-veed!
- 00:14:09,850 --> 00:14:11,810 Da-veed hakem bar laka shtood.
- 00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:13,186 Elder! What are you doing!
- 00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:15,188 Shtood valak shtood inka inka broost!
- 00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:16,815 He is reading from the Book of Hamon!
- 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:18,775 Into the conch shell, Moses!
- 00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:21,027 Hellllllppp!
- 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,284 And there you shall stay, trapped for all eternity!
- 00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:29,160 Elder! What have you done!!
- 00:14:29,286 --> 00:14:31,580 I told you. The meteor shower is the time of Hamon!
- 00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:33,540 <i>I</i> am running Jewbilee now!
- 00:14:33,665 --> 00:14:35,166 Release Moses now!
- 00:14:35,292 --> 00:14:37,752 I don't think so...
- 00:14:37,878 --> 00:14:39,462 [all gasp]
- 00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:40,755 When do we get to eat carrot cake!
- 00:14:40,881 --> 00:14:42,340 Now, all of you into that building
- 00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:43,633 or I'll shoot you where you stand!
- 00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:45,135 Elder, you cannot mean--
- 00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:46,803 Move!
- 00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:01,151 Now! Now, Hamon! Your time has come!
- 00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:03,069 Dude, what the hell is going on!
- 00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:05,572 If he summons Hamon, we will all be destroyed.
- 00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:07,157 Oh no!
- 00:15:07,282 --> 00:15:09,117 ♪ We are Jew Squirts we know Jew words ♪
- 00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:09,951 ♪ Schtick schtick ♪
- 00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:10,744 ♪ Shmadda shmadda ♪
- 00:15:10,869 --> 00:15:11,786 ♪ Schtick schtick ♪
- 00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:12,370 ♪ Shmadda shmadda ♪
- 00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:13,997 Hold it, Squirts!
- 00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:15,248 This is where we'll set our trap!
- 00:15:15,373 --> 00:15:16,541 Everyone remember your squadron.
- 00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:18,585 Alpha-5 and Gamma-7 will be on recon team.
- 00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:20,295 Alpha will take left flank
- 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,130 and flush the bear out of Sector-3.
- 00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:23,798 Once we're in position,
- 00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:26,217 I want constant contact between all squad leaders.
- 00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:28,219 We'll flush him out and then attack him!
- 00:15:28,345 --> 00:15:30,180 Ahhh! - Remember, this is only a bear.
- 00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:31,598 All we have to do is stick together,
- 00:15:31,723 --> 00:15:33,183 and we can spend the rest of the night
- 00:15:33,308 --> 00:15:34,976 making bear sandwiches!
- 00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:38,438 Where is Ichmael!
- 00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:39,356 No!
- 00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:40,899 Goddamnit!
- 00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:42,901 You stupid Goddamn son-a-of-bear!
- 00:15:43,026 --> 00:15:44,986 You've taken your last Squirt, you hear me!
- 00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:47,906 "And the ancient one looked upon Hamon
- 00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:49,866 "as the new leader of the people.
- 00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:53,453 And it was the night that stars flew around in the sky..."
- 00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:55,664 Yes, yes!
- 00:15:55,789 --> 00:15:57,082 If he summons Hamon,
- 00:15:57,207 --> 00:15:59,167 it will be the end of everything we hold dear.
- 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:00,335 I wanna go home.
- 00:16:05,674 --> 00:16:06,549 Mlp!
- 00:16:11,388 --> 00:16:13,014 [sirens blaring] Mlp!!
- 00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:16,101 Sh-mmm-t!
- 00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:19,604 That bear thinks he can outsmart me!
- 00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,940 Well, I'm not gonna let a stupid bear get--
- 00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:24,192 Hold, look over there!
- 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:26,945 It's one of the Squirts the bear took!
- 00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:28,530 Maybe he's okay!
- 00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:40,625 It's a trap!
- 00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:45,797 [roar]
- 00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:48,883 Damn! Damn damn damn!
- 00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:51,511 Okay, bear, that does it!
- 00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:53,138 You want to kill all the Squirts!
- 00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:54,139 You can have 'em!
- 00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:55,640 I give up!
- 00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:58,143 I don't need my Hutzpah badge, or Jew Scouts
- 00:16:58,268 --> 00:16:59,936 or any of this crap!
- 00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:01,771 Forget it!!
- 00:17:01,896 --> 00:17:03,106 Let the new tide turn!
- 00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:04,941 Let Hamon rule his people once again!
- 00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:06,067 No!
- 00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:08,820 We await your return, Hamon!
- 00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:10,739 Your passage is safe from enemies!
- 00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,907 [growl] Arhhh!
- 00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:16,327 [grunt] It's hopeless.
- 00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:18,997 Hamon will be summoned, and we will be forced to obey him...
- 00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:20,123 or die.
- 00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:22,542 I'm fine with obeying.
- 00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:24,169 Yeah, obeying should work out swell.
- 00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:25,712 Don't worry you guys, he forgot about Kenny.
- 00:17:25,837 --> 00:17:26,337 Kenny will help us.
- 00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:27,464 How!
- 00:17:27,589 --> 00:17:28,298 Kenny will find a way.
- 00:17:28,423 --> 00:17:30,133 Rmpppphh!!
- 00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:33,178 Mphh!
- 00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:37,599 Hey, welcome to the party!
- 00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:40,226 See this little bear cub!
- 00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:42,145 It's his birthday!
- 00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:43,646 Yeah, so his mommy brought us all over to play with him!
- 00:17:43,772 --> 00:17:44,856 [baby growl]
- 00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:47,108 Aww...
- 00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:51,696 [mumbling the situation] Mprhm, mrm mrph rmph!
- 00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:54,657 Mrphm rmphm rmh rmhprm!!
- 00:17:56,117 --> 00:17:57,494 They are! Uh-oh!
- 00:17:57,619 --> 00:18:00,038 Mprph rm mprhm mrph, rmph rm rmphm rpmh!!!
- 00:18:00,163 --> 00:18:02,415 Come on, Squirts, we have to help them!
- 00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:03,416 [all] Yeah!
- 00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:15,637 Elder Schwartz, I lost the Squirts...
- 00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:18,348 I lost all the Squirts...
- 00:18:18,473 --> 00:18:20,475 But screw you!
- 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,811 I don't need your Hutzpah badge anyway!
- 00:18:22,936 --> 00:18:24,145 Hello!?
- 00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:25,230 Schlomo, get us out of here!
- 00:18:25,355 --> 00:18:26,815 What the cheese?!
- 00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:28,650 What are you guys doing in there!
- 00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:30,860 [muffled] Get the keys and unlock the door!
- 00:18:30,985 --> 00:18:32,028 What!
- 00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:33,696 Get the keys and unlock the door!
- 00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:36,866 I lost the Squirts.
- 00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:38,618 Look out!
- 00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:39,786 Huh!
- 00:18:39,911 --> 00:18:40,912 Don't move!
- 00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:42,330 Oh jiminy gravy, what is this!!
- 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,040 It is the summoning of Hamon, fool.
- 00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:45,667 The wakening of a new kingdom.
- 00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:48,503 You can't awake Hamon, what would Moses say?
- 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,004 Moses is trapped for all eternity
- 00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:51,965 in the Conch of Blind Faith.
- 00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:55,301 Oh no, you don't!
- 00:18:55,426 --> 00:18:56,261 [gunshot]
- 00:18:56,386 --> 00:18:58,429 Owwwwww!
- 00:18:58,555 --> 00:18:59,764 Enough of this waste of time!
- 00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:04,853 Hamon, the great summoning is done!
- 00:19:04,978 --> 00:19:07,522 Upon these words let your spirit come!
- 00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:09,149 Ayneck, holst...
- 00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:10,066 It is lost...
- 00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:12,026 Na-yak, ka-reem!
- 00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:13,319 Woo-hoo!
- 00:19:13,444 --> 00:19:14,988 Hey! Give that back!
- 00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:17,866 It's the Squirts! - Go, Ike!
- 00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:20,201 Unlock the door, Squirts, the keys are up there!
- 00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:21,536 They'll never reach!
- 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,580 Squirts, fall in, Chinese formation!
- 00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:24,789 Hup! Hup! Hup!
- 00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:25,623 Hup! Hup! Hup!
- 00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:26,833 Give me that book!
- 00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:29,669 Hamon will deal with you!
- 00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:30,712 Hup! Hup! Hup!
- 00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:39,762 Oh no, it's too late!
- 00:19:39,888 --> 00:19:42,056 Gramack, shtoood!
- 00:19:42,182 --> 00:19:44,350 [thunder claps]
- 00:19:45,977 --> 00:19:46,769 [growl]
- 00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:50,773 [growl]
- 00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:54,944 What is <i>that</i>!
- 00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:55,987 It is Hamon.
- 00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:56,946 Yes!!
- 00:19:57,071 --> 00:19:58,406 Yes!!!
- 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:05,705 [demonic voice] Free! Free to punish those that imprisoned me!
- 00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:07,207 Hamon, it's me, Garth!
- 00:20:07,332 --> 00:20:08,082 I freed you!
- 00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:09,500 Look!
- 00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:13,171 Mphh hmmmp rppp!
- 00:20:13,296 --> 00:20:15,173 Kenny, noooooo!
- 00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:21,346 Moses!
- 00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:23,181 Nooooo!!
- 00:20:23,306 --> 00:20:25,350 No! Noooooo!!
- 00:20:33,524 --> 00:20:35,610 Moses... I--
- 00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:38,238 I apologize for any inconvenience.
- 00:20:38,363 --> 00:20:39,989 You see I was just, uh--
- 00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:41,616 Die!
- 00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:44,661 Arrrghhh!
- 00:20:46,955 --> 00:20:47,622 [all] Hooray!
- 00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:49,374 Kenny!
- 00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:52,961 That blow to his head must have killed him.
- 00:20:53,086 --> 00:20:57,006 He saved us, he saved all the Jews.
- 00:20:57,131 --> 00:20:59,133 Y'know, I think we all learned something today...
- 00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:01,386 It's fine to have your own beliefs and your own traditions,
- 00:21:01,511 --> 00:21:03,429 but as soon as you start excluding people from your ways,
- 00:21:03,554 --> 00:21:05,723 only because of their race, you become separatist.
- 00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:07,600 And being a separatist sucks ass.
- 00:21:07,725 --> 00:21:10,103 We've learned a lot from you and your great friend, Kenny.
- 00:21:10,228 --> 00:21:12,897 Every year we shall gather here in this special place
- 00:21:13,022 --> 00:21:15,024 and bring Kenny tidings of soap sculptures
- 00:21:15,149 --> 00:21:16,150 and macaroni pictures.
- 00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:17,652 Yes!
- 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:18,736 And those little shaker things
- 00:21:18,861 --> 00:21:21,030 where you put beans inside of paper plates
- 00:21:21,155 --> 00:21:22,282 that are glued together.
- 00:21:22,407 --> 00:21:23,574 Paper plate bean shakers!
- 00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:25,785 And let us put patterns of glue
- 00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:27,870 on the outside of those paper plates
- 00:21:27,996 --> 00:21:29,497 so that we can then pour glitter on them
- 00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:30,957 so they look nice and sparkly.
- 00:21:31,082 --> 00:21:32,917 You heard him, scouts, let's get to work!
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