Кошачья оргия — Мама Картмана отправляется на вечеринку, а Эрику приходится нелегко со своей няней — Шелли Марш. У его кошки Китти течка.

Предыдущая серия S03 E06 Панда сексуальных домогательств

Следующая серия S03 E08 Два голых парня в горячей ванне

Кошачья оргия

Cat Orgy

Сезон: 03Серия: 07

Описание

Мама Картмана отправляется на вечеринку, а Эрику приходится нелегко со своей няней — Шелли Марш. У его кошки Китти течка.

Субтитры

00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:11,637 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,639 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:13,764 --> 00:00:15,099 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:15,224 --> 00:00:16,809 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:16,934 --> 00:00:18,060 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:20,062 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:21,856 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:21,981 --> 00:00:23,607 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
00:00:23,733 --> 00:00:24,692 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
00:00:24,817 --> 00:00:26,652 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:30,072 --> 00:00:31,741 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
00:00:31,866 --> 00:00:32,992 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:36,954 --> 00:00:38,247 Ha ha ha ha...
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:41,000 Now, I will kill the president and kill Salma Hayek!
00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:43,836 Oh save me, who will save me!?
00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:45,337 <i>I</i> will!
00:00:45,463 --> 00:00:48,799 James West. Cowboy and Rap Star.
00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:52,011 Quick <i>Artemus Cloud Frog,</i> we've got to save Salma Hayek!
00:00:52,136 --> 00:00:54,346 If we save her, I'm going to take off her pants
00:00:54,472 --> 00:00:55,681 and play "slip 'n slide".
00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:56,932 Are you okay, Salma Hayek?
00:00:57,058 --> 00:00:58,768 Yes, but I need to get out of here.
00:00:58,893 --> 00:01:00,311 I need some tacos and burritos
00:01:00,436 --> 00:01:01,896 <i>Me gusto tacos mucho</i>!
00:01:02,021 --> 00:01:03,814 You cannot stop me, James West!
00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:05,399 Look out, <i>Artemus Cloud Frog</i>
00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:06,400 it's giant metal spider!
00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:07,777 Bang! Bang, bang!
00:01:07,902 --> 00:01:09,111 Yo, yo, yo, jiggy, jiggy
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:10,112 with a bang, bang!
00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:13,532 We saved the day!
00:01:13,657 --> 00:01:15,284 The wild, wild, west the wild, wild, wild west!
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,203 Yo, wicky-wicky, scratch, wicky-wicky, scratch--
00:01:17,328 --> 00:01:19,330 Eric?
00:01:19,455 --> 00:01:21,082 The babysitter's here, come on downstairs!
00:01:21,207 --> 00:01:25,169 But Mommm, I'm playing "wild, wild west"!
00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:26,879 I have to leave soon, Eric.
00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:29,256 But Mommm, me and Artemus Cloud Frog
00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:32,384 still have to do our love scene with Salma Hayek!
00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:34,178 Come down as soon as you're done!
00:01:35,971 --> 00:01:39,016 ♪ Well I'm a bad-ass cowboy living in the cowboy days ♪
00:01:39,141 --> 00:01:41,560 ♪ Wicky-wicky scratch yo-yo bang-bang ♪
00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:46,565 ♪ Me and Artemus Cloud Frog go save Salma Hayek from the big metal spider ♪
00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:48,025 ♪ Wicky-wicky wick wicky-wicky wick ♪
00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:50,111 ♪ Fresh cowboy from the west side ♪♪
00:01:50,236 --> 00:01:52,488 Thank you <i>so</i> much for babysitting little Eric, Shelly!
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,115 Okay.
00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:55,991 All his other babysitters won't come back.
00:01:56,117 --> 00:01:57,618 I charge $5 for the first hour
00:01:57,743 --> 00:01:59,787 5 percent bumps every hour after that
00:01:59,912 --> 00:02:01,789 up to six hours which enters into "golden time."
00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:03,290 Oh, that sounds fine.
00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:05,501 I'm going to a meteor shower party.
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,920 The number where I'll be is on the refrigerator.
00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:10,214 Eric's snooky time is 9 o'clock sharp.
00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:11,966 If his little wugums get cold,
00:02:12,091 --> 00:02:13,509 you can turn up the heat over here.
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:14,802 And if he gets cranky,
00:02:14,927 --> 00:02:16,804 just play "tummy rub-rubs" with him.
00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:19,431 And make sure he wipes good after he "makes bears".
00:02:19,557 --> 00:02:20,599 "Bears"?
00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,143 Oh, and don't mind the cat,
00:02:22,268 --> 00:02:24,603 she's just being loud because she's in heat!
00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:27,898 Reowww-owwww...
00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:29,775 No kitty, I don't have anything!
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:32,820 Reowwwwww....
00:02:32,945 --> 00:02:34,280 What the hell is wrong with you?
00:02:34,405 --> 00:02:35,197 Stop it, kitty!
00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:36,657 Reowwww...
00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:38,993 Stop, kitty, that's a bad Goddamn kitty!
00:02:39,118 --> 00:02:40,661 Okay muffin, mommy's leaving now.
00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:42,413 You do what the babysitter tells you, okay?
00:02:42,538 --> 00:02:43,455 Uh-huh.
00:02:43,581 --> 00:02:44,415 Be good.
00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:45,916 Right.
00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:46,834 Come give mommy eskimo kisses!
00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:47,918 Aww, Ma!
00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:50,129 Eskimo kisses for Mommy!
00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:52,214 Jesus Christ!
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:53,632 Bye, kids!
00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:57,094 Well, go put that pizza in the oven, bitch!
00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:57,970 I'm hungry!
00:02:58,095 --> 00:02:59,054 Ow!
00:02:59,180 --> 00:03:00,639 Alright, turd, listen up!
00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:01,807 Now that your mom is gone,
00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:03,434 I'm in charge.
00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:05,186 I don't know how you treat your other babysitters,
00:03:05,311 --> 00:03:06,770 but when <i>I'm</i> babysitting,
00:03:06,896 --> 00:03:08,522 you're nothing but a little turd.
00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:11,442 You're a stinky, dried-up stupid turd!
00:03:11,567 --> 00:03:13,277 Got it?
00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:15,696 You can't hit me, didn't you see those nanny videos on TV?
00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:18,032 My boyfriend is coming over.
00:03:18,157 --> 00:03:19,742 So you go to the kitchen
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:22,703 and you us make that pizza before I snap you in half
00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:25,164 like the little turd stick you are!
00:03:25,289 --> 00:03:27,208 You're not allowed to have people over!
00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:28,000 Move!
00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:32,087 This is bullcrap!
00:03:32,213 --> 00:03:33,631 Ugh, ugh...
00:03:33,756 --> 00:03:34,798 I can't reach the freezer!
00:03:34,924 --> 00:03:36,592 Figure it out, turd!
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,552 Goddamnit...
00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:41,555 Reoww, reowww, reowww...
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:42,598 Shut up, kitty!
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,186 "Any problems contact Eric's mommy at 303..."
00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:48,812 Ah-ha!
00:03:48,938 --> 00:03:50,856 I'm gonna call mom, and tell her the babysitter's
00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:51,982 having her boyfriend come over.
00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:53,484 <i>Then</i> we'll see who's the turd!
00:03:53,609 --> 00:03:55,402 ...And so I said, "you're a little turd, and he--"
00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:56,904 damnit!
00:03:57,029 --> 00:03:58,739 Reowww... Reoww...
00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:03,035 Reowww... Reowww...
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,788 ... But if you've seen one turd, you've seen them all--
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:08,624 Eowww... Eowwww...
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,960 ...Stupid turd--
00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:12,962 Hey, I need to use the phone!
00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:15,047 Hold on a second, Gary.
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:18,509 Arggghhh!
00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:19,885 Oww!
00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,971 I pulled his underwear over his head.
00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:23,013 I'm gonna get her, kitty.
00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:24,682 Mark my words!
00:04:24,807 --> 00:04:26,600 Reoww... Reowww...
00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:28,477 Shut the hell up, kitty!
00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:32,273 And now, back to the movie of the week:
00:04:32,398 --> 00:04:33,607 <i>Aliens.</i>
00:04:33,732 --> 00:04:36,193 They mostly come at night... mostly.
00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:38,487 "They mostly come at night... mostly."
00:04:39,989 --> 00:04:41,031 Oooph!
00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:43,117 Hey, I was watching <i>Aliens</i> on TV!
00:04:43,242 --> 00:04:44,952 Well I'm watching <i>Friends</i>, turd.
00:04:46,245 --> 00:04:47,371 That's my boyfriend.
00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:48,497 Go answer the door while I make sure
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:49,790 I don't have food in my braces!
00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:53,377 Hey, is Shelly around?
00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,087 Who the hell are you?
00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:57,006 Oh, I'm the guy who's gonna put a boot up your ass
00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:58,632 if you don't tell me where Shelly is.
00:04:58,757 --> 00:04:59,675 Hey, Skylar.
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:00,884 You know this guy?
00:05:01,010 --> 00:05:02,469 He's my boyfriend!
00:05:03,595 --> 00:05:04,555 Ha! He's like 50 years old!
00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,849 He's 22!
00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:09,184 Dude, that's not cool!
00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:10,477 You're a turd.
00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:12,646 You're the turd man of Alcatraz.
00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:13,856 Ha! Yeah!
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,482 Dude, when my mom finds out
00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:17,568 that my babysitter's had their boyfriends over,
00:05:17,693 --> 00:05:20,654 she mostly gets really mad. Mostly.
00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:22,448 Ackkk!
00:05:22,573 --> 00:05:24,074 Heyyy, hey goddamnit!
00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:25,075 Turd wedgie!
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:26,493 Come in the kitchen, Skylar.
00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:28,454 There's refreshments.
00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:32,249 And now back to <i>Wild Animal World.</i>
00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:35,586 Here in the more arid regions of Africa
00:05:35,711 --> 00:05:39,590 the gold coat lions are in the throes of mating season.
00:05:39,715 --> 00:05:43,677 The male lion positions himself behind the female,
00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:46,096 and prepares to insert his lionhood.
00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:48,265 Notice his large swollen balls.
00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:50,601 Reowwwww!
00:05:50,726 --> 00:05:53,103 Reowwwww!
00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:55,147 The female lion relaxes her body
00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:58,275 and says hello to "Mr. Winky".
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:01,862 Reowww... Reowwww...
00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:03,697 The male lion is enticed
00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:06,533 by the female's supple breasts and firm backside.
00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:08,118 Reowwwww!
00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:09,953 Quickly and suddenly, the male is finished.
00:06:10,079 --> 00:06:11,538 Now he wants to be alone,
00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:13,499 so he kindly asks the female to leave.
00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:16,668 He promises, he'll call her tomorrow.
00:06:16,794 --> 00:06:20,047 But the female doesn't leave, no, she's moving right in.
00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:22,925 Looks like the male lion is screwed.
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,676 Reowww... Reowwww!
00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:26,845 Ummm....
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:28,222 No Skylar, quit it!
00:06:28,347 --> 00:06:30,015 C'mon babe, how long have we know each other?
00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:31,266 Eight days tomorrow.
00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:33,102 And I <i>still</i> don't get any action!
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:34,353 I don't know, Skylar.
00:06:34,478 --> 00:06:36,271 It's just kind of strange to me
00:06:36,397 --> 00:06:38,190 that you're 22 and all.
00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:39,441 But I'm still in high school!
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:42,027 I told you, I'm a very immature 22-year-old.
00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:43,862 Well, maybe just one kiss.
00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:45,197 Mmmm...
00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:45,823 Hey, what are you doing?
00:06:45,948 --> 00:06:46,782 Beat it, chubby!
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:48,534 Go on, <i>Astroturd.</i>
00:06:48,659 --> 00:06:50,119 I'm gonna tell my mom on you!
00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:52,121 Turd rock from the sun!
00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:53,789 Hey! You ate all the pizza!
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,624 We left you some crusts.
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,000 That does it!
00:06:57,126 --> 00:06:58,043 I'm calling my mom right now,
00:06:58,168 --> 00:06:59,628 and busting your ass!
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,173 Guess again, <i>Richard the Turd.</i>
00:07:03,298 --> 00:07:04,425 Gimme that phone number!
00:07:04,550 --> 00:07:06,427 C'mon babe, let's go to the living room.
00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:08,470 I am not gonna be bossed around by a chick!
00:07:10,139 --> 00:07:12,516 Maybe I'll just use my "wild, wild west" techniques
00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:14,935 and get <i>proof</i> that Shelly had a boyfriend over.
00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:16,311 Reoww.
00:07:16,437 --> 00:07:17,729 Goddamnit, kitty, you have to calm down!
00:07:17,855 --> 00:07:19,356 Here, I'll get you some catnip.
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,358 Reoww...
00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:23,652 Okay, okay. Hold on, I found the catnip.
00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:26,572 Reoww-reow!
00:07:26,697 --> 00:07:28,490 Reowww!
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,951 Reowww!
00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:32,911 reowww!
00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:42,504 ♪ Rapt darkness fills my icy soul ♪
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:45,507 ♪ Demons from hell seek the chosen one ♪
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:48,552 You're such an amazing poet, Skylar.
00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:50,262 Isn't this guitar awesome?
00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:52,055 It's the best of its kind.
00:07:52,181 --> 00:07:53,390 And not a scratch on it!
00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:55,184 Skylar, not here!
00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:56,602 I can't help it.
00:07:56,727 --> 00:07:58,145 I see your pretty lips and I want to kiss them.
00:07:58,270 --> 00:07:59,897 Really?
00:08:00,022 --> 00:08:01,398 I cherish you.
00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:03,317 Almost as much as I cherish my guitar.
00:08:03,442 --> 00:08:04,526 Wow!
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:05,611 When I make it to the big time,
00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:06,945 I'm gonna take you shopping
00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:09,114 and buy you lots of bad ass stuff.
00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:10,616 Oh Skylar, I love you.
00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:11,992 Mmmmm!
00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:14,369 What the--
00:08:14,495 --> 00:08:15,704 Ha ha, so right you are!
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:16,914 Looks like <i>you're</i> the turd now!
00:08:17,039 --> 00:08:18,790 Gimme that picture!
00:08:18,916 --> 00:08:19,875 Ehhhh!
00:08:22,377 --> 00:08:23,837 Eghh!
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:25,506 Heee-ya!
00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:30,719 Eghh!
00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:33,931 Open this door, <i>turd-I-dove.</i>
00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:35,766 I think not!
00:08:35,891 --> 00:08:37,309 I'm gonna show this picture to my mom, when she gets home!
00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:40,395 Your mom doesn't get home for three more hours.
00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:42,231 That's plenty of time for me to make
00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:45,317 a turd sandwich out of <i>you</i>!
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,952 Give me that picture, turd!
00:08:55,077 --> 00:08:56,578 You're never gonna get this picture!
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,205 Not until my mom comes home
00:08:58,330 --> 00:08:59,831 and I can prove you had a boyfriend over he'a!
00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:01,917 I'm gonna bust this door down!
00:09:03,502 --> 00:09:06,421 Reowww... reowww!
00:09:06,547 --> 00:09:09,091 What should we do, Artemus Cloud Frog?
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:10,926 "We've got to get that picture to your mom
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,886 so that she will come home and save us."
00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:15,681 Oh, that's quick thinking, Artemus Cloud Frog!
00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:17,558 Listen very carefully, Mr. Kitty.
00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:18,809 I'm putting this picture of the babysitter
00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,769 and her boyfriend on your collar.
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,521 You have to take this picture to Mommy, kitty.
00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:24,022 So that she can come home and save me.
00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:26,733 Now run, kitty, take the picture to mommy
00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:28,569 and lead her back here!
00:09:28,694 --> 00:09:30,070 When you return, be sure to bring mom through the back door.
00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:31,905 Hurry kitty, you're my only hope!
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,033 That's it, that's it, Mr. Kitty!
00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:37,286 Meow, meow...
00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:40,664 Aww, goddamnit!
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:44,710 Who is that?
00:09:44,835 --> 00:09:46,461 Oh, I invited the guys in the band over
00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:47,921 so that we can practice.
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:50,799 Skylar, your band can't practice here!
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,759 Hey, do you want me to make it or not?
00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:55,304 Don't stand between me and my dreams, babe!
00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:57,764 S'up Mark, s'up Jonesy?
00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:59,558 Just keep the volume down!
00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:02,144 I have to go deal with turd boy.
00:10:03,562 --> 00:10:04,438 Hey, who was that?
00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:05,897 Who came to the door?
00:10:06,023 --> 00:10:08,066 Eric! Your mom's been in an accident!
00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:10,736 You just want me to open the door!
00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:13,822 We need to run over to the hospital and identify her body.
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,240 We'll be right back!
00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:16,617 What? Is she okay?
00:10:16,742 --> 00:10:18,535 Not really... she's dead!
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:19,703 Huh!?
00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:22,748 Ha ha, that was a turd trick.
00:10:22,873 --> 00:10:24,333 Your mom isn't really dead!
00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:26,752 Ah ha! I knew it was a turd trick
00:10:26,877 --> 00:10:28,295 and I opened the door because Mr. Kitty
00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:30,255 is on his way, right now to my mom's party
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:31,465 with the picture!
00:10:31,590 --> 00:10:33,717 Ha ha, I knew you sent the cat
00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:36,261 and that's why I went outside and got him!
00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:39,765 Ha ha, I saw you get the picture back from Mr. Kitty
00:10:39,890 --> 00:10:41,475 and that's why I wrote a letter to the press:
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,518 "To be opened in case of my demise."
00:10:43,644 --> 00:10:45,854 So if anything happened to me, that letter will go out.
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,147 And you will never find it!
00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:49,524 You mean, this one?
00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,902 Okay. Let's see here...
00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:53,153 Ah-ha!
00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:54,655 Uhmm...
00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:55,906 Goddamnit!
00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:58,617 Arhhh!
00:10:58,742 --> 00:11:00,994 Ow, ow!
00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:03,497 Okay, check, check check 1, 2, check!
00:11:03,622 --> 00:11:04,915 Okay, ready?
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:05,999 Alright, let's try the new song.
00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:08,210 This is a song I wrote for you, Shelly.
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,587 1, 2, 1-2-3-4!
00:11:12,130 --> 00:11:14,091 ♪ When I saw her walking down the street ♪
00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:16,176 ♪ I thought she was Shelly, Shelly ♪
00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:17,803 Aw man, you guys suck!
00:11:17,928 --> 00:11:20,555 ♪ Now that we're together I'm absolutely sure ♪
00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:22,516 ♪ That she's Shelly, Shelly ♪
00:11:22,641 --> 00:11:25,352 You're the crappiest band I've ever heard.
00:11:25,477 --> 00:11:27,646 ♪ Move into my mom's house with me ♪
00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:29,356 ♪ Shelly, Shelly ♪
00:11:29,481 --> 00:11:33,568 Reowww, reowwww...
00:11:33,694 --> 00:11:34,945 Reowww!
00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:37,239 Reowww...
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:38,949 Reowwww...
00:11:39,074 --> 00:11:40,826 Meowww!
00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:44,871 Reowww!
00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,046 Bridge!
00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:57,134 ♪ I pledge allegiance to the flag ♪
00:11:57,259 --> 00:11:59,761 ♪ Of the united states... ♪
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,972 ♪ Of Shelly, Shelly ♪
00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:03,765 Oh my God, somebody shoot me in the head!
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:04,808 Hey! Shut up, tubby!
00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:06,184 Don't call me fat!
00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:07,728 Now, you guys are not supposed to be in here,
00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:10,605 you get out now and respect my authority!
00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:11,940 Ow!
00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:18,238 Reowwww!
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:19,406 Meowww...
00:12:19,531 --> 00:12:20,449 Reowww...
00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:23,368 Meowww...
00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:24,911 Reowww?
00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:26,997 Meowwww...
00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:28,165 Reowwww...
00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:31,543 Meoww... Meoww...
00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:33,086 Meowww...
00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:36,631 Yeah, dude, that was hot!
00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:37,883 This guitar rocks, man!
00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:38,925 It rocks!
00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:40,135 What do you think, Shelly?
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:41,386 Honestly?
00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:43,305 I think you guys need some work.
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:44,681 Oh, really?
00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:47,100 I just think your sound is kind of...
00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:48,560 ..."last week."
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:50,520 Well, I'd like to see you do any better, bitch!
00:12:50,645 --> 00:12:53,023 Well, I <i>do</i> have a song I wrote.
00:12:53,148 --> 00:12:54,941 Okay, why don't you sing it for us?
00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:57,527 No Skylar, I'm embarrassed!
00:12:57,652 --> 00:12:58,737 Hey, man, don't be shy!
00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:01,823 Well, okay... I'll try.
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:04,409 But I'm not promising anything.
00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:07,704 1-2-3-4!
00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:16,004 ♪ So much pain in the world today ♪
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,465 ♪ Too many turds are heading my way ♪
00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:21,468 ♪ But we can flush the turds together ♪
00:13:21,593 --> 00:13:24,179 ♪ Passing by turds whenever ♪
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:26,014 ♪ Don't you know it's a-♪
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,683 ♪ Life's so void of happiness ♪
00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:31,812 ♪ Feel free to mark my words ♪
00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:34,356 ♪ But me and you will my love do ♪
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,233 ♪ In a world that's full of turds ♪
00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:37,776 ♪ Turds ♪ ♪ Turds ♪
00:13:37,901 --> 00:13:39,444 ♪ Dime-a-dozen Sphincter-lovin' ♪
00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:40,779 ♪ Turds ♪ ♪ Turds ♪
00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:42,072 Mom, the babysitter has her boyfriend over!
00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:43,782 Oh no, no, no that's impossible, hon.
00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:44,991 I told her no visitors.
00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:46,743 There's a whole crappy band here,
00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:47,494 can you hear them?
00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:48,829 Can you hear them?
00:13:48,954 --> 00:13:50,580 This party is very loud, poopykins!
00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:51,915 You'll have to speak up!
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:52,999 Damnit, her boyfriend is here,
00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:54,292 don't you believe me?
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:56,127 Not really, hon, Mom has to go now.
00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:57,546 I'll be home in about an hour.
00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,256 Oh, oh! Mr. Mackey!
00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:01,842 Ha-huh, 'kay.
00:14:01,967 --> 00:14:04,427 I'll never be able to prove that son-of-a-bitch was here!
00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:07,556 My <i>Speak 'n Record</i> bear.
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:09,015 Of course!
00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:10,600 ♪ In a world that's full of turds ♪
00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:12,269 ♪ Turds ♪
00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:14,187 Dude, this is gay!
00:14:14,312 --> 00:14:15,730 Shut up!
00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:18,358 You shut up, your girlfriend is not joining our band.
00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:20,277 Yeah dude, what the hell's wrong with you anyway?
00:14:20,402 --> 00:14:21,361 She's like, 12!
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:22,696 You guys get out!
00:14:22,821 --> 00:14:24,239 Don't question my love!
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:25,907 My love is as pure as morning snow!
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:28,118 Get out, I said!
00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:31,830 Reowwww!
00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:38,879 Meowww?
00:14:39,296 --> 00:14:40,297 Reowww...
00:14:45,594 --> 00:14:47,596 Meoww...
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:48,471 Reowww!
00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:50,599 Uh... zzzz...
00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:54,144 Meowww!
00:14:54,269 --> 00:14:55,604 Aw, man!
00:14:57,689 --> 00:14:58,773 Testing, testing, 1-2...
00:14:59,858 --> 00:15:00,901 Testing, testing, 1-2...
00:15:01,026 --> 00:15:02,652 Sweet.
00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:05,947 We're gonna go outside to watch the meteor shower
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:07,908 I'm locking you in your room 'til we get back in, <i>turd.</i>
00:15:08,033 --> 00:15:09,743 Okay, see you in a while.
00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:11,286 Will you tell me what it looked like?
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:12,746 The meteor shower?
00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:14,998 They mostly come every few years... mostly.
00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:16,291 What the hell is wrong with you?
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,584 How come you're not yelling and whining?
00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:19,920 Well, I just, I kind of like having you around.
00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:21,087 What? No you don't!
00:15:21,212 --> 00:15:22,380 No, I'm serious.
00:15:22,505 --> 00:15:24,633 See, I never had a brother or sister.
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:25,926 I think people that have a brother or sister
00:15:26,051 --> 00:15:27,344 don't realize how lucky they are.
00:15:27,469 --> 00:15:28,845 Sure, they fight a lot
00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:30,263 but to know that there's always somebody there,
00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:31,640 somebody that's <i>family.</i>
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:34,851 I wonder if... Well, maybe sometimes,
00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:37,187 I could pretend like you're my big sister.
00:15:37,312 --> 00:15:39,689 And you could kind of, watch over me, you know,
00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:42,108 like, <i>we</i> could watch a meteor shower together some time.
00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:44,736 And I could pretend I'm somebody's brother!
00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:46,780 If only for a day.
00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:50,325 Alright, get your turd coat.
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,785 You can come see the meteor shower with us.
00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:52,994 You mean it?
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,204 But don't bug me and Skylar, c'mon!
00:15:54,329 --> 00:15:56,247 Hoo-ray!
00:15:56,373 --> 00:16:01,044 Yes, I'm gonna have you and your boyfriend's voices on my <i>Speak 'n Record</i> bear
00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:04,506 and then you'll mostly never babysit me again...mostly.
00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:09,636 Yes, yes, what a beautiful night!
00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:12,180 It is Saturday, the 12th at 10:45
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,683 and my mother is away at a party right now.
00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:16,059 Shut up, turd!
00:16:16,184 --> 00:16:18,186 That, of course, is the voice of my babysitter
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,521 Shelly Marsh, age 12.
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:20,522 What are you doing?
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:22,023 I'm just thinking out loud.
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:23,942 Do you have anything to say, Skylar,
00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:25,568 Shelly's boyfriend, who is sitting right here?
00:16:25,694 --> 00:16:27,654 Go away, turd.
00:16:27,779 --> 00:16:30,865 I'm sorry, did you say something Skylar?
00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:31,866 Ahhh!
00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:34,452 Reowww...
00:16:34,577 --> 00:16:38,415 Meoww... Reowww... Reowww...
00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:45,672 Meoww... Reowww... Reowww...
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:47,924 Yeah, c'mon give it up!
00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:49,050 No!
00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:49,884 Give it up, babe!
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:50,468 No!!!
00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:51,720 C'mon, baby!
00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:53,263 No Skylar, I'm not putting out for you!
00:16:53,388 --> 00:16:54,264 Why the hell not?
00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:55,473 'Cause I'm <i>12</i>!
00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:56,599 You're not gonna put out for me?
00:16:56,725 --> 00:16:57,809 No!!
00:16:57,934 --> 00:16:59,310 Well, then, screw you, bitch!
00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:00,812 I've got plenty of other girlfriends that <i>will</i>!
00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:02,731 What? But I thought you liked me!
00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:04,858 If you're not putting out then I'm movin' on.
00:17:04,983 --> 00:17:06,443 There's plenty of chicks like you out there.
00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:09,195 Screw you, prude bitch.
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:12,615 Me and my bad ass guitar are going home<i>. Hasta</i>!
00:17:12,741 --> 00:17:14,659 Gotcha!
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,583 Oh yeah, oh yeah! I'm the kid with the wild west!
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,460 Shelly, guess who's busted!?
00:17:26,171 --> 00:17:28,214 Hey, I said, guess who's busted!?
00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:35,180 You're not gonna trick me, I got the goods on you!
00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:36,973 I don't care!
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:40,518 He acted like he really liked me,
00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:43,521 nobody's ever liked me before!
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:46,483 I can't believe I trusted him!
00:17:46,608 --> 00:17:48,026 I'm so <i>stupid</i>!
00:17:48,151 --> 00:17:50,320 But, dude, he's 22!
00:17:50,445 --> 00:17:51,738 What were you doing with him, anyway?
00:17:51,863 --> 00:17:53,406 Nobody my age would go out with me
00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:54,908 'cause I'm too ugly!
00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:56,326 You're not ugly!
00:17:56,451 --> 00:17:57,577 You don't think so?
00:17:57,702 --> 00:17:59,204 Well, you're pretty ugly, but
00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:00,872 you don't have to be dating 22 year olds.
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:02,749 I mean, what kind of scumbag asshole
00:18:02,874 --> 00:18:04,167 dates 12-year-old girls?
00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:05,794 You're right, he <i>is</i> a scumbag!
00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:07,337 I wish I could get him back.
00:18:07,462 --> 00:18:08,797 I just don't know how.
00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:10,965 Well, I <i>could</i> ask Artemus Cloud Frog.
00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:12,175 He would know.
00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:13,301 Huh!?
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,719 If you want, I could help you.
00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:15,929 Really? You would do that?
00:18:16,054 --> 00:18:17,889 Just let me get my cowboy hat.
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:28,066 Reowww...?
00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:30,693 Reowww...
00:18:30,819 --> 00:18:32,320 Reowww...
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:35,156 Reowww... Meowww... Reowww... Meowww...
00:18:50,505 --> 00:18:52,674 What the hell is this!?
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:57,178 Help me, help me... this is Salma Hayek!
00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:58,638 is anybody there?
00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:01,558 Salma Hayek? Whoa, she's hot!
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:04,853 Okay, it's clear!
00:19:06,104 --> 00:19:08,189 Over here, please come quick!
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:10,316 We don't have much time!
00:19:10,441 --> 00:19:12,777 This won't take me long!
00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:18,616 Reowww... Meowww... Meowww... Meowww...
00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:22,036 Reowww... Meowww... Reowww... Meowww...
00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:24,414 Reowww... Meowww... Reowww... Meowww...
00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:31,754 Reowww...?
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:33,464 Hurry up in there!
00:19:33,590 --> 00:19:35,008 I'm almost done!
00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:36,134 Hellooo?
00:19:36,259 --> 00:19:38,094 Hello, Mrs. Hayek?
00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:40,096 Over here, please help me!
00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:41,723 I am lost and I have no clothes!
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:44,392 No clothes, right!
00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:48,563 I'm over here, please help me!
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,190 I will reward you greatly.
00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:51,608 I'm right here, Ms. Hayek.
00:19:51,733 --> 00:19:53,109 Oh, please help me!
00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:54,485 What the--
00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:56,487 Please help me, I will give you tacos.
00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:58,448 Dude, somebody tricked me!
00:19:58,573 --> 00:20:02,285 I'll make you pay for making me come out here, Goddamnit!
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:06,414 Stupid asshole stuffed animals trying to ruin my night!
00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:11,419 My guitar!
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,213 Nooooooo!
00:20:14,631 --> 00:20:15,715 That was <i>so</i> cool!
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:17,008 I wish we could'a seen his face.
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:18,468 Thanks for all your help, Eric.
00:20:18,593 --> 00:20:21,054 Y'know, as far as turds go, you're okay!
00:20:23,181 --> 00:20:24,015 Oh, my God!
00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:28,728 They're having a cat orgy!
00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:30,772 You are all very bad kitties!
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:33,107 That is a bad, bad kitty!
00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:34,567 Your mom's gonna be home soon.
00:20:34,692 --> 00:20:35,777 We're gonna get busted!
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:38,821 C'mon kitties, outside, c'mon...
00:20:38,947 --> 00:20:41,115 That's it, c'mon, c'mon!
00:20:41,241 --> 00:20:42,575 Uh-oh...
00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:45,787 You two ruined my career. I'm gonna get you!
00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:47,455 Ughn!
00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:50,083 Ohhhh, ohhhhh!
00:20:50,208 --> 00:20:52,377 Arghhhh! What are you doing!?
00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:54,712 Ohh, you ripped my pants off...
00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:57,757 Oh my God, I'm not a cat!!!
00:20:57,882 --> 00:20:59,133 C'mon, we've gotta get the house clean
00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:00,260 before your mom gets home.
00:21:00,385 --> 00:21:02,262 Y'know, Eric, it's kinda cool
00:21:02,387 --> 00:21:04,138 that two people who hated each other can be friends.
00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:06,307 Yeah, I think we get along okay.
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:08,643 Hi kids, I'm home!
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,481 Mom, I can explain!
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:15,566 It was all Shelly's fault she didn't watch the cat!
00:21:15,692 --> 00:21:18,236 No, it was Eric's fault he let these cats in here!
00:21:18,361 --> 00:21:20,530 Oooh, what a party <i>that</i> was!
00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:26,035 Wow, she passed out!
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:27,912 Luckily for us, my mom's a total lush!
00:21:28,037 --> 00:21:29,372 Well let's clean up the house.
00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:30,790 Looks like everything turned out okay!
00:21:30,915 --> 00:21:33,084 That's how it goes in the wild, wild west!
00:21:33,209 --> 00:21:35,253 ♪ Well I'm a bad-ass cowboy living in the cowboy days ♪
00:21:35,378 --> 00:21:37,880 ♪ Wicky-wicky scratch yo-yo bang-bang ♪
00:21:38,006 --> 00:21:42,218 ♪ Me and Artemus Cloud Frog go save Salma Hayek from the big metal spider ♪
00:21:42,343 --> 00:21:44,470 ♪ Wicky-wicky wick wicky-wicky wick ♪
00:21:44,595 --> 00:21:46,180 ♪ Fresh cowboy from the west side ♪♪
00:21:50,476 --> 00:21:52,061 ♪ Wicky-wicky scratch yo-yo bang-bang ♪
00:21:52,186 --> 00:21:56,065 ♪ Me and Artemus Cloud Frog go to save Salma party pants ♪
00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:58,526 ♪ Go down to... where... ♪♪

00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:36,500 "Кошачья оргия"
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:41,836 Хе-хе-хе! А теперь я убью президента и Сальму Хаек!
00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:44,514 О, спасите меня!! Кто спасёт меня?!
00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:45,994 Я спасу!!!
00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:48,954 Джеймс Вест, ковбой и рэп-звезда!
00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:52,038 Скорее, Лягушонок Артемус Клайд! Мы должны спасти Сальму Хаек!
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:56,033 Если мы спасем её, я сниму её трусики и сыграю с ней в "Дочки-Матери"!
00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:57,553 Ты в порядке, Сальма Хаек?
00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,677 Да, но мне нужно убраться отсюда и съесть немного тако и буррито. Ми густа такос муччо!
00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:04,071 Тебе не остановить меня, Джеймс Вест!
00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:08,233 Берегись, Лягушонок Артемус Клайд! Там гигантский стальной паук!
00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:14,113 Мы предотвратили беду!
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:15,679 Вайлд, Вайлд Вест... Дикий, Дикий Запад...
00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:17,591 Йоу вики-вики скрэтч!
00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:22,196 Эрик, твоя няня уже здесь. Идём вниз.
00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:25,672 Но ммма-а-ам.., я же играю в Вайлд Вайлд Ве-е-ест...
00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:27,079 Мне уже пора уходить, Эрик!
00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:29,674 Но ммма-а-ам, мы с Лягушонком Артемусом Клайдом
00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:32,752 должны ещё сыграть любовную сцену с Сальмой Хаек!!!
00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:35,229 Спускайся, как только закончишь.
00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:39,438 Да, я - отчаянный ковбой из эпохи ковбоев!
00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,636 Йоу вики-вики скрэтч, йоу йоу бэнг бэнг!
00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:46,111 Мы с Лягушонком Артемусом Клайдом спасём Сальму Хаек от огромного стального паука
00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:50,149 Вики-вики вик... Вики-вики вик... Крутой ковбой из Вест-сайда...
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:53,118 Спасибо огромное, что ты согласилась посидеть с маленьким Эриком, Шелли.
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,235 О'кей.
00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:56,231 Все остальные няни уже не хотят возвращаться.
00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:59,995 Я беру пять долларов за первый час, пять процентов сверху капает за каждый следующий час...
00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:02,230 и так до шести часов, после чего начинается "Золотое время"
00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:05,915 О, это звучит неплохо. Я иду на вечеринку звёздного дождя.
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,116 Номер телефона, по которому меня можно найти – на холодильнике.
00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:10,395 Время идти "баиньки" для Эрика – ровно в 9 вечера.
00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:13,631 Если нашим маленьким ножкам станет холодно, отопление включается здесь.
00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:16,917 А если мы будем капризничать, просто поиграй с ним в "чей животик гладим-гладим"
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,958 и смотри, чтобы он хорошо подтёрся после того, как он сделает своих "коричневых мишек"
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,395 - "Мишек"? - О, и кстати, не обращай внимания на кошку.
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:25,558 Она немного надоедлива, у неё как раз "похотелочки".
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:29,872 Нет, Китти, у меня ничего нет!
00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:35,795 Чё за хрень с тобой?! Прекрати, Китти!
00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:39,275 Нет, Китти! Ты, чёрт подери, плохая Китти!!!
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,032 Окей, оладушек. Мама уходит,
00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:43,236 делай то, что тебе скажет няня, ладно?
00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:44,868 Будь послушным.
00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:47,155 - Короче! - Иди, дай мамочке эскимосскую цёмочку!
00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:50,357 - Ну, ма... - Эскимосскую цёмочку мамочке!
00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:51,919 О, господи!
00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:53,434 Пока, детки!
00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:58,757 Так, пошла, положила вон ту пиццу в духовку, сука! Я голод..!
00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:00,797 Так, говнюк, слушай сюда!
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:03,440 Сейчас, когда твоей мамы нет, я - главная!
00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:05,511 Мне пофигу, как с тобой обращались другие няни,
00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:08,672 но пока я – твоя няня, ты – всего лишь малой говнюк!
00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:12,719 Ты – вонючий засохший тупой экскремент! Врубился?!
00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:14,229 Ты не должна меня бить!
00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:16,629 Ты чё, не видела по телеку обучающие видеопрограммы про нянь?
00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:18,756 Сейчас сюда придёт мой бойфренд,
00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:21,673 так что, пошёл на кухню и приготовил нам ту пиццу,
00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:25,230 пока я тебя пополам не поломала, как сухую какашку!
00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:27,197 Ты не имеешь право никого сюда приглашать!
00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:28,474 Пошёл!!!
00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:32,758 Вот дерьмо!
00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:36,876 - Как я достану до морозилки?! - Придумай сам, говнюк!
00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:38,709 Твою же мать!
00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:42,475 Рот закрой, Китти!
00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:47,871 "Если будут проблемы, звонить маме Эрика по номеру 303..."
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:48,949 Ага!
00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:50,918 Я позвоню маме и расскажу ей, что няня
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,560 позвала сюда своего бойфренда. Тогда и увидим, кто здесь говнюк!
00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:56,712 ...и я сказала: "Ты – маленький говнюк!" И он пошёл...
00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:57,994 Твою мать!
00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:06,710 ...увидев раз одного говнюка, считай, ты видела их всех...
00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:13,392 - ...тупой говнюк! Но один говнюк... - Эй, мне нужен телефон!
00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:16,472 Подожди секунду, Кэрри!..
00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:22,117 Я надела ему его трусы на голову.
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,589 Я сделаю её, Китти! Запомни мои слова!
00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:28,398 ЗАТКНИСЬ НАФИГ, КИТТИ!!!
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,557 А сейчас снова фильм недели “Чужие”
00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:36,154 "Они обязательно приходят ночью... Обязательно."
00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:39,198 Они обязательно приходят ночью... Обязательно.
00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:46,112 - Эй, я смотрел "Чужие"! - Да? А я смотрю "Друзья", говнюк!
00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:48,596 Это – мой бойфренд. Иди, открой дверь,
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:50,671 пока я уберу объедки из зубных шин.
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:55,278 - Здорово, Шелли здесь? - Чё за нафиг, ты - кто?
00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:57,391 Я - тот, кто даст тебе конкретный подсрач,
00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:00,074 - если ты не скажешь мне, где Шелли! - Привет, Скайлер!
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,594 - Ты его знаешь?! - Это – мой бойфренд!
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:07,030 - Блин, да ему, наверное, за пятьдесят! - Ему 22!
00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:09,629 Блин, вот отстой...
00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:13,156 Ты - говнюк! Ты – Экскремент, парадоксов друг!
00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:17,757 Блин, когда мама узнает, что няня принимает здесь своих бойфрендов,
00:05:17,840 --> 00:05:20,149 она обязательно будет в ярости... Обязательно...
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,316 - Чёрт! - Жирный говнюк.
00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:28,870 Идём на кухню, Скайлер. Подкрепимся.
00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:32,350 "А сейчас снова Мир Диких Животных"
00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:35,840 "Здесь, в пустынных регионах Африки,
00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:39,595 львы испытывают муки брачного сезона"
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,833 "Лев-самец подбирается к самке сзади
00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:48,311 и готовится вставить в неё своего львиного красавца. Заметьте, какие у него большие, потяжелевшие яйца"
00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:57,711 "Львица расслабляет свое тело и говорит привет мистеру Победителю"
00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:06,593 "Лев соблазнён мягкими грудями самки и ее крепким задом"
00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:10,390 "Быстро и неожиданно лев кончает.
00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:14,314 Теперь он хочет остаться один и вежливо просит самку удалиться"
00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:16,996 "Он обещает, что позвонит ей завтра"
00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:20,436 "Но она не уходит. Нет, она переезжает прямо к нему.
00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:23,034 Похоже, что лев-самец... попал"
00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:28,239 Нет, Cкайлер, перестань.
00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:30,436 Да ну, крошка, как долго мы уже знакомы?
00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:33,637 - Завтра будет восемь дней. - А я всё ещё не могу перейти к действиям.
00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:35,073 Не знаю, Скайлер.
00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:38,596 Просто я ещё вроде как не могу привыкнуть, что тебе 22, и всё такое.
00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:42,514 Но я всё ещё учусь в школе. Я говорю тебе: "Я – недоразвившийся двадцатидвухлетний."
00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:44,511 Ладно, может, всего один поцелуй.
00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:45,995 Эй, чё вы делаете?!
00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:48,833 - Пошёл вон, жирдяй! - Пшёл, Говнонафт!
00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:52,630 - Я настучу на вас маме. - Пятый Экскремент Люка Бессона! Экскрементальный говнюк с Солнца.
00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:56,395 - Ай! Вы съели всю пиццу! - Мы оставили тебе несколько корочек!
00:06:56,480 --> 00:07:00,234 Ну всё! Я звоню маме прямо сейчас и она берет вас за задницу.
00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:04,436 - Придумай что-нибудь ещё, Ричард Говняное Сердце. - Отдай мне этот номер телефона!
00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:06,351 Короче, крошка. Давай перейдём в гостиную.
00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:08,874 Я не позволю так обращаться со мной какой-то шлюхе!
00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:12,790 Может, я использую технику Дикого Дикого Веста
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:15,599 и соберу доказательства, что Шелли была с бойфрендом.
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:17,872 Твою мать, Китти, утихни.
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:19,632 Иди сюда, я дам тебе валерьянового кошачьего корма.
00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:24,558 Окей, окей, потерпи, уже ищу Кетнип.
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:45,710 Красная Ракета рассеет мою ледяную душу. Демоны ада ищут Избранного Ими...
00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:50,715 - Ты - такой ошеломляющий поэт, Скайлер. - Правда, офигенная гитара?
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:54,110 Она - просто лучшая, и при этом на ней – ни царапинки!
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:55,713 Скайлер, не здесь.
00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:59,270 Ничего не могу поделать. Я вижу твои прекрасные губы и хочу их целовать.
00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:00,715 Так ли?
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:03,792 Я ухаживаю за тобой почти так же, как я ухаживаю за своей гитарой.
00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:05,950 Когда я стану знаменитым,
00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:09,510 мы пойдем по магазинам, и я тебе накуплю кучу крутого барахла.
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:11,511 О, Скайлер, я люблю тебя.
00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:15,829 - Чё за нафиг? - Ага, попали!
00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:18,912 - Похоже, что говнюки - вы! - Отдай мне эту фотку!
00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:34,318 Открой дверь, Говноголубь Мира!
00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:37,676 И не подумаю! Я покажу эту фотку маме, когда она вернется домой!
00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:40,797 Твоя мама не вернется домой ещё три часа!
00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:45,078 Этого времени хватит, чтоб сделать из тебя "бутерброд с говнюком"!
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:56,549 - Отдай мне фотографию, говнюк! - Ты никогда не получишь эту фотографию!
00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:59,677 Во всяком случае, не раньше, чем придёт моя мама, и я смогу доказать, что ты пригласила сюда своего бойфренда... на!
00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:02,149 Я вынесу нафиг эту дверь!
00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:09,232 Что же нам делать, Лягушонок Артемус Клайд?
00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:10,912 Мы должны передать эту фотку маме,
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,638 и тогда она вернётся домой и спасёт нас!
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:15,109 О, быстро соображаешь, Лягушонок Артемус Клайд!
00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:17,798 Слушай очень внимательно, мистер Китти.
00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:20,678 Я прикреплю эту фотку с няней и её бойфрендом на твой ошейник.
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,479 Ты должен отнести эту фотку маме, Китти, тогда она вернётся домой
00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:24,834 и спасёт меня.
00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:27,832 А теперь беги, Китти. Передай фотку маме и приведи её обратно.
00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:30,195 А когда вернёшься, обязательно проведи маму в дом через заднюю дверь!
00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:32,748 Быстрее, Китти! Ты – моя единственная надежда!
00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:35,669 Так держать! Так держать, мистер Китти!
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:40,915 О, блин! Чёрт побери!
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:44,515 Кто там?
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:48,115 А, я пригласил сюда репетировать пацанов из нашей группы.
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:52,671 - Скайлер, вы не можете тут репетировать! - Эй, ты хочешь, чтоб я стал знаменитым, или нет?
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:55,638 Не становись между мной и моими мечтами, крошка!
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,711 Привет, Марк! Чё нового, Джонси?
00:09:57,800 --> 00:10:01,839 Только как можно тише. А мне надо сходить потолковать с Говномальчиком.
00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:05,550 Эй! Кто там ещё пришёл к нам в дом?
00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:09,076 Эрик! Твоя мама попала в аварию!
00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:10,798 Ты просто хочешь, чтоб я открыл дверь!
00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:14,236 Нам надо срочно бежать в больницу и опознать её труп!
00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:16,993 - Мы скоро вернёмся. - Что?! С ней всё в порядке?
00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:19,958 Не совсем. Она погибла.
00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:24,636 Ага! Это была уловка для говнюков! Твоя мама на самом деле не погибла!
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:27,874 Ага! Я знал, что это была уловка для говнюков, и открыл,
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:31,555 потому что мистер Китти уже на пути к моей маме с той фоткой!
00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:36,597 Ага! Я знала, что ты пошлёшь кота, поэтому вышла и перехватила его!
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,831 Ага! Я видел, что ты забрала фотку у мистера Китти,
00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:41,638 и поэтому написал письмо в газету!
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:43,517 С пометкой "Вскрыть в случае моей смерти".
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:45,670 Если хоть что-нибудь случится со мной, это письмо будет обнародовано,
00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:49,036 - и тебе его никогда не найти! - Ты имел в виду это письмо?
00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:52,958 Окей! Так... посмотрим... Ага! Хм...
00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:56,229 Да твою ж мать!
00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:03,799 Окей, проверка, проверка... Раз, два, проверка...
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:06,189 Готовы? Итак, попробуем спеть новую песню.
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:10,717 Её я написал для тебя, Шелли! Раз, два... Раз, два, три, четыре...
00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:15,879 "Когда я увидел её, идущую по улице, Я подумал, это была Шелли, Шелли"
00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:17,839 О, блин, ну вы и отсосы, чуваки.
00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:22,391 "А теперь, когда мы вместе, я полностью уверен, что это – Шелли, Шелли"
00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:25,153 Вы - самая дерьмовая банда из всех, что я слышал.
00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:29,631 Переезжай ко мне, в мамин дом, Шелли, Шелли!
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,319 Переход!
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:58,960 "Я присягаю на верность флагу Соединённых Штатов
00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:01,476 моей Шелли, Шелли!"
00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:03,755 О, Господи, кто-нибудь, прострелите мне голову!
00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:05,796 - Эй, заткнись, жирдяй! - Не называй меня жирным!
00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:07,677 Так, а вас, чуваки, вообще тут быть не должно... на..!
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,194 Выметайтесь сейчас же и уважайте мою власть... на..!
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:38,876 Да, блин, это было круто. Эта гитара рулит, блин!
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:40,154 Она просто разрывает! Ну, что ты думаешь, Шелли?
00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:43,357 Честно? Мне кажется, вам надо бы ещё поработать.
00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:47,149 - Неужели? - Мне просто кажется, что у вас звучание,
00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:48,275 вроде как вчерашнего дня.
00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:50,555 Ой, можно подумать, у тебя бы лучше получилось, сука!
00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:55,191 - Что ж, у меня есть песня, которую я сама написала. - Окей, может, споёшь её нам?
00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:59,319 - Нет, Скайлер, я смущаюсь! - Давай, не стесняйся!
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:03,996 Ладно, я попытаюсь. Но ничего не обещаю.
00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:07,918 Раз, два, три, четыре...
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:18,474 "Трудный путь предстоит мне пройти, Сколько говнюков стоит на моём пути,
00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:24,032 Но вместе задавим мы всех говнюков, Решив навсегда проблему этих мудаков"
00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:26,309 Ты не знаешь? Это не...
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:30,837 "Счастье в твоих глазах? Я скажу это в других словах.
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:34,473 Ведь есть ты и я, и любовь без понтов
00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:36,471 в мире, в котором полно говнюков!!"
00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:37,629 ГОВНЮКОВ!
00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:39,392 Сделанных пальцем тупых говнюков.
00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:40,515 ГОВНЮКОВ!
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:42,318 Мам, няня пригласила своего бойфренда!
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:45,073 Нет, нет, нет, это невозможно, милый. Я сказала ей: никаких гостей.
00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:47,230 Да тут их весь отстойный ансамбль! Слышишь? Вот!
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:48,799 Слышишь их?
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:51,674 Тут очень шумно, пельменьчик. Говори громче!
00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:53,751 Твою ж мать! Её бойфренд здесь! Ты что, мне не веришь?!
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:57,799 Не совсем, милый... Мама уже должна идти. Буду дома через часок!
00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:01,475 О! О, мистер Маккей!
00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:05,348 Блин, мне никогда не доказать, что этот сукин сын был тут.
00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:08,717 Мой мишка-диктофон! Ну, конечно!
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:10,757 В мире, в котором полно говнюков!!
00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:12,193 ГОВНЮКОВ!!
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,470 - Блин, это – педерастия. - Рот закрой!
00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:18,438 Сам рот закрой! Твоя тёлка не будет петь в нашей группе!
00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:20,397 Да, блин. В натуре, что с тобой?
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:22,675 - Ей же лет двенадцать, не больше! - Пошли вон, пацаны!
00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:26,355 Не смейте проверять мою любовь! Моя любовь чиста, как утренний снег!
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:28,032 Пошли вон, я сказал!
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,036 Проверка, проверка, раз, два...
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:01,038 Проверка, проверка, раз, два...
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:02,109 Клёво.
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,276 Мы идём на улицу смотреть на звездопад.
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:07,351 Я закрываю тебя в твоей комнате, пока мы не вернёмся, говнюк!
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,510 - Ладно, скоро увидимся! - Че-во?..
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:11,750 Ты же расскажешь мне, как он выглядит? Звездопад.
00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:14,354 Он обязательно происходит только раз в несколько лет... Обязательно...
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:15,555 Чего это с тобой?
00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:17,039 Что случилось, что ты не вопишь, не ноешь?!
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:19,475 Ну, мне, можно сказать, нравится, что ты со мной сидишь.
00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:22,154 - Что? Нет, не может быть! - Нет, я серьёзно...
00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:24,117 Видишь ли, у меня никогда не было братика или сестрички.
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:27,112 Мне кажется, что люди, у которых есть сестра или братик, просто не понимают, как им повезло.
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:30,158 Конечно, они часто и дерутся, но ты знаешь, что у тебя всегда есть кто-то,
00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:33,437 кто-то родной, кто и есть твоя семья!
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,830 Как думаешь, ну, может, иногда я могу представлять, будто ты моя старшая сестра.
00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:38,672 И ты, будто, ну как бы заботишься и присматриваешь за мной.
00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:42,036 Знаешь, как бы, мы можем изредка смотреть вместе на звездопад.
00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:46,033 Эх, и я смог бы представлять, что я чей-то братик, пусть даже и на денёк.
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,038 Ладно, бери свою говнюковскую курточку.
00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:51,712 Можешь пойти с нами смотреть на звездопад.
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:53,472 - Ты, ты уверена? - Только не доставай меня и Скайлера!
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:55,915 - Давай, пошли! - Ура!
00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:59,150 Так, теперь у меня будут ваши со Скайлером голоса
00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:00,639 на моём Мишке-диктофоне,
00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:04,076 и тогда ты обязательно никогда больше не будешь моей няней... Обязательно...
00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:09,438 Да, да, что за чудная ночь!
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:14,150 Сегодня – суббота двенадцатое, 10:45, и моя мама в данный момент находится в гостях на вечеринке.
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:15,389 Заткнись, говнюк!
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:19,234 Это, конечно, голос моей няни Шелли Марш, которой 12 лет.
00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:21,959 - Что происходит? - Я просто размышляю вслух.
00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:23,598 Тебе есть, что сказать, Скайлер
00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:25,955 – бойфренд Шелли, который сидит рядом с ней?
00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:27,275 Пошёл вон, говнюк!
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:29,396 Извини, ты что-то сказал, Скайлер?
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:47,992 Да-а, давай же! Давай!
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:50,036 - Нет! Нет! - Дай же мне, детка!
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:52,680 - Ну же, малышка! - Нет, Скайлер, я тебе не дам!
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:55,035 - Какого чёрта?! - Да потому, что мне – двенадцать!
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:56,997 - Так ты мне не дашь? - Нет!
00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:00,550 Ну, так тогда пошла ты, сука! У меня – куча подружек, готовых мне дать!
00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:02,358 Что?? Я думала, что ты меня любил!
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:04,396 Если ты не собираешься дать мне, тогда я бросаю тебя!
00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:07,199 Вокруг хренова туча тёлок не хуже тебя!
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:08,958 Пошла ты, динамистка хренова!
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:12,669 Я и моя крутая гитара уходим! Аста маньяна!
00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:14,439 Есть!
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:21,197 О, да! Вики-вики Вайлд Вест!
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:23,510 Шелли, угадай, кто конкретно влип?
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:28,315 Эй, слышишь, угадай, кто конкретно влип?
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:35,637 Эй, ты меня не проведёшь, у меня есть кое-что на тебя!
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,199 Мне всё равно.
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:42,389 Мне казалось, он действительно меня любил. Никто никогда до этого не любил меня.
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:47,556 Не понимаю, как я ему поверила. Я такая дура!
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:51,476 Ну, Шелли, ему 22. В любом случае что бы ты с ним делала?
00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:54,916 Никто из моих сверстников не хотел быть со мной, потому что я – страшная.
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,594 - Ты – не страшная. - Ты так думаешь?
00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:00,513 Ну, ты довольно страшная, но это же не значит, что ты должна встречаться с 22-летним стариком.
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:03,353 Я хотел сказать, что за дерьможопый жоподыр будет встречаться с 12-летней малолеткой?
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:06,796 Ты прав! Он – ублюдок! Хотела бы я его вернуть назад!
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:10,799 - Только не знаю, как. - Ну-ка, я могу спросить Лягушонка Артемуса Клайда.
00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:12,195 - Он должен знать. - Что?
00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:15,511 - Если хочешь, я бы мог помочь тебе. - Правда? Ты бы мог?
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:17,556 Дай только надену свою ковбойскую шляпу.
00:18:51,100 --> 00:18:52,499 Это чё за нафиг?
00:18:52,580 --> 00:18:58,769 Помогите! Помогите! Это – Сальма Хаек. Здесь есть кто-нибудь?
00:18:59,020 --> 00:19:01,170 Сальма Хаек? О-па, она – секси!
00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:05,297 Окей, чисто!
00:19:06,180 --> 00:19:08,375 Сюда! Пожалуйста, скорее!
00:19:09,260 --> 00:19:12,889 - У нас мало времени! - Я справлюсь быстро!
00:19:32,940 --> 00:19:35,500 - Быстрее! - Почти готово.
00:19:35,580 --> 00:19:38,458 Э-эй, эй, Миссис Хаек?
00:19:38,540 --> 00:19:41,976 Сюда! Пожалуйста, помогите! Я потерялась, и на мне почти нет одежды!
00:19:42,060 --> 00:19:43,891 Нет одежды, ага!
00:19:46,700 --> 00:19:50,295 Сюда! Помогите! Я в долгу не останусь!
00:19:50,380 --> 00:19:53,656 - Я уже тут, Мисс Хаек! - О, пожалуйста, помогите!
00:19:53,740 --> 00:19:56,698 - Что за..? - Пожалуйста, помогите! Я дам вам такос!
00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:58,532 Блин, кто-то меня подставил!
00:19:58,620 --> 00:20:02,295 Ты мне заплатишь за это, чёрт возьми!
00:20:03,580 --> 00:20:07,095 Тупые дырожопо-набитые животные пытаются испортить мне вечер!
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:13,253 Моя гитара! Нее-е-ет!
00:20:14,420 --> 00:20:17,173 Это было тааак круто! Хотел бы я увидеть его табло!
00:20:17,260 --> 00:20:18,693 Спасибо тебе за помощь, Эрик.
00:20:18,780 --> 00:20:21,613 Знаешь, пока говнюки уходят, ты – в порядке.
00:20:22,860 --> 00:20:24,293 О Господи!
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:30,979 - Они устроили КотоОргию! - Да, вы все очень плохие киски!
00:20:31,060 --> 00:20:34,609 - Плохая, плохая киска! - Твоя мама вот-вот вернётся.
00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:39,012 - Мы, кажется, попали! - Давайте, киски. Выходите. Давайте.
00:20:39,860 --> 00:20:42,135 Вот так. Давайте, давайте!..
00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:46,376 Вы двое разрушили мою карьеру! Вам крышка!
00:20:51,860 --> 00:20:55,011 Что вы делаете?! Ох, вы порвали мои штаны!
00:20:55,100 --> 00:20:57,739 О Господи! Я - не кошка!
00:20:57,820 --> 00:21:00,459 Давай! Мы должны убрать дом, пока твоя мама не вернулась!
00:21:00,540 --> 00:21:01,609 Знаешь, Эрик,
00:21:01,700 --> 00:21:04,453 всё же круто, что двое людей, которые ненавидели друг друга, могут стать друзьями!
00:21:04,540 --> 00:21:06,815 Ага, думаю, мы наверняка поладим!
00:21:07,140 --> 00:21:08,812 Привет, детки, я – дома!
00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:13,811 Мам, я всё объясню.
00:21:13,900 --> 00:21:15,572 Это всё из-за Шелли!! Она не присматривала за котом!
00:21:15,660 --> 00:21:18,220 Нет! Это из-за Эрика! Он пустил сюда всех этих кошек.
00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:20,458 О, какая была вечеринка!
00:21:24,980 --> 00:21:27,858 - Вау, она в отключке! - Вот попёрло нам, моя мама нажралась в зюзю.
00:21:27,940 --> 00:21:30,977 Ну, давай приберём дом. Кажется, всё повернулось хорошо.
00:21:31,060 --> 00:21:32,778 Всё так, как всегда происходит на Диком Диком Западе.
00:21:32,860 --> 00:21:35,658 "Да, я - отчаянный ковбой из эпохи ковбоев,
00:21:35,740 --> 00:21:37,492 йоу вики-вики скрэтч йоу йоу бэнг бэнг.
00:21:37,580 --> 00:21:42,449 Мы с Лягушонком Артемусом Клайдом собираемся спасти Сальму Хаек от огромного стального паука
00:21:42,740 --> 00:21:47,530 Вики-вики вик... Вики-вики вик. Крутой ковбой из Вест-сайда!
00:21:50,020 --> 00:21:52,136 Вики вики скрэтч йоу бэнг бэнг.
00:21:52,220 --> 00:21:56,054 Мы с Лягушонком Артемусом Клайдом собираемся спасти Сальму-Лягушонка куклу Полли-Понторезку-Чопорные трусы
00:21:56,140 --> 00:21:59,450 сползают... ну... мм Какализа-Ящерица."
00:21:59,901 --> 00:22:03,000 Перевод, адаптация песен – (c) LazyMax LazyMax@mail.com

00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:11,637 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,639 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:13,764 --> 00:00:15,099 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:15,224 --> 00:00:16,809 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:16,934 --> 00:00:18,060 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:20,062 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:21,856 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:21,981 --> 00:00:23,607 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
00:00:23,733 --> 00:00:24,692 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
00:00:24,817 --> 00:00:26,652 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:26,777 --> 00:00:29,947 ♪ [Mumbling] ♪
00:00:30,072 --> 00:00:31,741 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
00:00:31,866 --> 00:00:32,992 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:36,954 --> 00:00:38,247 [Cartman doing menacing voice] Ha ha ha ha...
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:41,000 Now, I will kill the president and kill Salma Hayek!
00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:43,836 [high voice] Oh save me, who will save me!?
00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:45,337 <i>I</i> will!
00:00:45,463 --> 00:00:48,799 James West. Cowboy and Rap Star.
00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:52,011 Quick <i>Artemus Cloud Frog,</i> we've got to save Salma Hayek!
00:00:52,136 --> 00:00:54,346 If we save her, I'm going to take off her pants
00:00:54,472 --> 00:00:55,681 and play "slip 'n slide".
00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:56,932 Are you okay, Salma Hayek?
00:00:57,058 --> 00:00:58,768 Yes, but I need to get out of here.
00:00:58,893 --> 00:01:00,311 I need some tacos and burritos
00:01:00,436 --> 00:01:01,896 <i>Me gusto tacos mucho</i>!
00:01:02,021 --> 00:01:03,814 You cannot stop me, James West!
00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:05,399 Look out, <i>Artemus Cloud Frog</i>
00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:06,400 it's giant metal spider!
00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:07,777 Bang! Bang, bang!
00:01:07,902 --> 00:01:09,111 Yo, yo, yo, jiggy, jiggy
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:10,112 with a bang, bang!
00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:11,614 [squeek]
00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:13,532 We saved the day!
00:01:13,657 --> 00:01:15,284 The wild, wild, west the wild, wild, wild west!
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,203 Yo, wicky-wicky, scratch, wicky-wicky, scratch--
00:01:17,328 --> 00:01:19,330 Eric?
00:01:19,455 --> 00:01:21,082 The babysitter's here, come on downstairs!
00:01:21,207 --> 00:01:25,169 But Mommm, I'm playing "wild, wild west"!
00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:26,879 I have to leave soon, Eric.
00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:29,256 But Mommm, me and Artemus Cloud Frog
00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:32,384 still have to do our love scene with Salma Hayek!
00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:34,178 Come down as soon as you're done!
00:01:35,971 --> 00:01:39,016 [rapping] ♪ Well I'm a bad-ass cowboy living in the cowboy days ♪
00:01:39,141 --> 00:01:41,560 ♪ Wicky-wicky scratch yo-yo bang-bang ♪
00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:46,565 ♪ Me and Artemus Cloud Frog go save Salma Hayek from the big metal spider ♪
00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:48,025 ♪ Wicky-wicky wick wicky-wicky wick ♪
00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:50,111 ♪ Fresh cowboy from the west side ♪♪
00:01:50,236 --> 00:01:52,488 Thank you <i>so</i> much for babysitting little Eric, Shelly!
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,115 Okay.
00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:55,991 All his other babysitters won't come back.
00:01:56,117 --> 00:01:57,618 I charge $5 for the first hour
00:01:57,743 --> 00:01:59,787 5 percent bumps every hour after that
00:01:59,912 --> 00:02:01,789 up to six hours which enters into "golden time."
00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:03,290 Oh, that sounds fine.
00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:05,501 I'm going to a meteor shower party.
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,920 The number where I'll be is on the refrigerator.
00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:10,214 Eric's snooky time is 9 o'clock sharp.
00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:11,966 If his little wugums get cold,
00:02:12,091 --> 00:02:13,509 you can turn up the heat over here.
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:14,802 And if he gets cranky,
00:02:14,927 --> 00:02:16,804 just play "tummy rub-rubs" with him.
00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:19,431 And make sure he wipes good after he "makes bears".
00:02:19,557 --> 00:02:20,599 "Bears"?
00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,143 Oh, and don't mind the cat,
00:02:22,268 --> 00:02:24,603 she's just being loud because she's in heat!
00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:27,898 Reowww-owwww...
00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:29,775 No kitty, I don't have anything!
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:32,820 Reowwwwww....
00:02:32,945 --> 00:02:34,280 What the hell is wrong with you?
00:02:34,405 --> 00:02:35,197 Stop it, kitty!
00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:36,657 Reowwww...
00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:38,993 Stop, kitty, that's a bad Goddamn kitty!
00:02:39,118 --> 00:02:40,661 Okay muffin, mommy's leaving now.
00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:42,413 You do what the babysitter tells you, okay?
00:02:42,538 --> 00:02:43,455 Uh-huh.
00:02:43,581 --> 00:02:44,415 Be good.
00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:45,916 Right.
00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:46,834 Come give mommy eskimo kisses!
00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:47,918 Aww, Ma!
00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:50,129 Eskimo kisses for Mommy!
00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:52,214 [mumbling] Jesus Christ!
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:53,632 Bye, kids!
00:02:54,008 --> 00:02:55,426 [door closes]
00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:57,094 Well, go put that pizza in the oven, bitch!
00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:57,970 I'm hungry!
00:02:58,095 --> 00:02:59,054 Ow!
00:02:59,180 --> 00:03:00,639 Alright, turd, listen up!
00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:01,807 Now that your mom is gone,
00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:03,434 I'm in charge.
00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:05,186 I don't know how you treat your other babysitters,
00:03:05,311 --> 00:03:06,770 but when <i>I'm</i> babysitting,
00:03:06,896 --> 00:03:08,522 you're nothing but a little turd.
00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:11,442 You're a stinky, dried-up stupid turd!
00:03:11,567 --> 00:03:13,277 Got it?
00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:15,696 You can't hit me, didn't you see those nanny videos on TV?
00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:18,032 My boyfriend is coming over.
00:03:18,157 --> 00:03:19,742 So you go to the kitchen
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:22,703 and you us make that pizza before I snap you in half
00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:25,164 like the little turd stick you are!
00:03:25,289 --> 00:03:27,208 You're not allowed to have people over!
00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:28,000 Move!
00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:32,087 This is bullcrap!
00:03:32,213 --> 00:03:33,631 Ugh, ugh...
00:03:33,756 --> 00:03:34,798 I can't reach the freezer!
00:03:34,924 --> 00:03:36,592 Figure it out, turd!
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,552 Goddamnit...
00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:41,555 Reoww, reowww, reowww...
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:42,598 Shut up, kitty!
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,186 "Any problems contact Eric's mommy at 303..."
00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:48,812 Ah-ha!
00:03:48,938 --> 00:03:50,856 I'm gonna call mom, and tell her the babysitter's
00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:51,982 having her boyfriend come over.
00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:53,484 <i>Then</i> we'll see who's the turd!
00:03:53,609 --> 00:03:55,402 ...And so I said, "you're a little turd, and he--"
00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:56,904 damnit!
00:03:57,029 --> 00:03:58,739 Reowww... Reoww...
00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:03,035 Reowww... Reowww...
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,788 ... But if you've seen one turd, you've seen them all--
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:08,624 Eowww... Eowwww...
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,960 ...Stupid turd--
00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:12,962 Hey, I need to use the phone!
00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:15,047 Hold on a second, Gary.
00:04:16,507 --> 00:04:17,466 [rip]
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:18,509 Arggghhh!
00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:19,885 Oww!
00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,971 I pulled his underwear over his head.
00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:23,013 I'm gonna get her, kitty.
00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:24,682 Mark my words!
00:04:24,807 --> 00:04:26,600 Reoww... Reowww...
00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:28,477 Shut the hell up, kitty!
00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:32,273 [TV] And now, back to the movie of the week:
00:04:32,398 --> 00:04:33,607 <i>Aliens.</i>
00:04:33,732 --> 00:04:36,193 They mostly come at night... mostly.
00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:38,487 "They mostly come at night... mostly."
00:04:39,989 --> 00:04:41,031 Oooph!
00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:43,117 Hey, I was watching <i>Aliens</i> on TV!
00:04:43,242 --> 00:04:44,952 Well I'm watching <i>Friends</i>, turd.
00:04:45,077 --> 00:04:46,120 [doorbell]
00:04:46,245 --> 00:04:47,371 That's my boyfriend.
00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:48,497 Go answer the door while I make sure
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:49,790 I don't have food in my braces!
00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:53,377 Hey, is Shelly around?
00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,087 Who the hell are you?
00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:57,006 Oh, I'm the guy who's gonna put a boot up your ass
00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:58,632 if you don't tell me where Shelly is.
00:04:58,757 --> 00:04:59,675 Hey, Skylar.
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:00,884 You know this guy?
00:05:01,010 --> 00:05:02,469 He's my boyfriend!
00:05:03,595 --> 00:05:04,555 Ha! He's like 50 years old!
00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,849 He's 22!
00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:09,184 Dude, that's not cool!
00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:10,477 You're a turd.
00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:12,646 You're the turd man of Alcatraz.
00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:13,856 Ha! Yeah!
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,482 Dude, when my mom finds out
00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:17,568 that my babysitter's had their boyfriends over,
00:05:17,693 --> 00:05:20,654 she mostly gets really mad. Mostly.
00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:21,447 [rip]
00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:22,448 Ackkk!
00:05:22,573 --> 00:05:24,074 Heyyy, hey goddamnit!
00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:25,075 Turd wedgie!
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:26,493 Come in the kitchen, Skylar.
00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:28,454 There's refreshments.
00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:32,249 [TV] And now back to <i>Wild Animal World.</i>
00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:35,586 Here in the more arid regions of Africa
00:05:35,711 --> 00:05:39,590 the gold coat lions are in the throes of mating season.
00:05:39,715 --> 00:05:43,677 The male lion positions himself behind the female,
00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:46,096 and prepares to insert his lionhood.
00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:48,265 Notice his large swollen balls.
00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:50,601 Reowwwww!
00:05:50,726 --> 00:05:53,103 Reowwwww!
00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:55,147 The female lion relaxes her body
00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:58,275 and says hello to "Mr. Winky".
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:01,862 Reowww... Reowwww...
00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:03,697 The male lion is enticed
00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:06,533 by the female's supple breasts and firm backside.
00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:08,118 Reowwwww!
00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:09,953 Quickly and suddenly, the male is finished.
00:06:10,079 --> 00:06:11,538 Now he wants to be alone,
00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:13,499 so he kindly asks the female to leave.
00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:16,668 He promises, he'll call her tomorrow.
00:06:16,794 --> 00:06:20,047 But the female doesn't leave, no, she's moving right in.
00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:22,925 Looks like the male lion is screwed.
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,676 Reowww... Reowwww!
00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:26,845 Ummm....
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:28,222 No Skylar, quit it!
00:06:28,347 --> 00:06:30,015 C'mon babe, how long have we know each other?
00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:31,266 Eight days tomorrow.
00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:33,102 And I <i>still</i> don't get any action!
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:34,353 I don't know, Skylar.
00:06:34,478 --> 00:06:36,271 It's just kind of strange to me
00:06:36,397 --> 00:06:38,190 that you're 22 and all.
00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:39,441 But I'm still in high school!
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:42,027 I told you, I'm a very immature 22-year-old.
00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:43,862 Well, maybe just one kiss.
00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:45,197 Mmmm...
00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:45,823 Hey, what are you doing?
00:06:45,948 --> 00:06:46,782 Beat it, chubby!
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:48,534 Go on, <i>Astroturd.</i>
00:06:48,659 --> 00:06:50,119 I'm gonna tell my mom on you!
00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:52,121 Turd rock from the sun!
00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:53,789 Hey! You ate all the pizza!
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,624 We left you some crusts.
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,000 That does it!
00:06:57,126 --> 00:06:58,043 I'm calling my mom right now,
00:06:58,168 --> 00:06:59,628 and busting your ass!
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:00,796 [punch]
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,173 Guess again, <i>Richard the Turd.</i>
00:07:03,298 --> 00:07:04,425 Gimme that phone number!
00:07:04,550 --> 00:07:06,427 C'mon babe, let's go to the living room.
00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:08,470 I am not gonna be bossed around by a chick!
00:07:10,139 --> 00:07:12,516 Maybe I'll just use my "wild, wild west" techniques
00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:14,935 and get <i>proof</i> that Shelly had a boyfriend over.
00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:16,311 Reoww.
00:07:16,437 --> 00:07:17,729 Goddamnit, kitty, you have to calm down!
00:07:17,855 --> 00:07:19,356 Here, I'll get you some catnip.
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,358 Reoww...
00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:23,652 Okay, okay. Hold on, I found the catnip.
00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:26,572 Reoww-reow!
00:07:26,697 --> 00:07:28,490 Reowww!
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,951 Reowww! [crash]
00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:32,911 reowww! [crash]
00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:38,250 [playing rock rhythm]
00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:42,504 ♪ Rapt darkness fills my icy soul ♪
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:45,507 ♪ Demons from hell seek the chosen one ♪
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:48,552 You're such an amazing poet, Skylar.
00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:50,262 Isn't this guitar awesome?
00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:52,055 It's the best of its kind.
00:07:52,181 --> 00:07:53,390 And not a scratch on it!
00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:55,184 Skylar, not here!
00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:56,602 I can't help it.
00:07:56,727 --> 00:07:58,145 I see your pretty lips and I want to kiss them.
00:07:58,270 --> 00:07:59,897 [giggle] Really?
00:08:00,022 --> 00:08:01,398 I cherish you.
00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:03,317 Almost as much as I cherish my guitar.
00:08:03,442 --> 00:08:04,526 Wow!
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:05,611 When I make it to the big time,
00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:06,945 I'm gonna take you shopping
00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:09,114 and buy you lots of bad ass stuff.
00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:10,616 Oh Skylar, I love you.
00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:11,992 Mmmmm!
00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:13,118 [camera clicks]
00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:14,369 What the--
00:08:14,495 --> 00:08:15,704 Ha ha, so right you are!
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:16,914 Looks like <i>you're</i> the turd now!
00:08:17,039 --> 00:08:18,790 Gimme that picture!
00:08:18,916 --> 00:08:19,875 Ehhhh!
00:08:22,377 --> 00:08:23,837 Eghh!
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:25,506 Heee-ya!
00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:30,719 Eghh!
00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:33,931 Open this door, <i>turd-I-dove.</i>
00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:35,766 I think not!
00:08:35,891 --> 00:08:37,309 I'm gonna show this picture to my mom, when she gets home!
00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:40,395 Your mom doesn't get home for three more hours.
00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:42,231 That's plenty of time for me to make
00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:45,317 a turd sandwich out of <i>you</i>!
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,952 [knocking] Give me that picture, turd!
00:08:55,077 --> 00:08:56,578 You're never gonna get this picture!
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,205 Not until my mom comes home
00:08:58,330 --> 00:08:59,831 and I can prove you had a boyfriend over he'a!
00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:01,917 I'm gonna bust this door down!
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,377 [banging on door]
00:09:03,502 --> 00:09:06,421 Reowww... reowww!
00:09:06,547 --> 00:09:09,091 What should we do, Artemus Cloud Frog?
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:10,926 "We've got to get that picture to your mom
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,886 so that she will come home and save us."
00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:15,681 Oh, that's quick thinking, Artemus Cloud Frog!
00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:17,558 Listen very carefully, Mr. Kitty.
00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:18,809 I'm putting this picture of the babysitter
00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,769 and her boyfriend on your collar.
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,521 You have to take this picture to Mommy, kitty.
00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:24,022 So that she can come home and save me.
00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:26,733 Now run, kitty, take the picture to mommy
00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:28,569 and lead her back here!
00:09:28,694 --> 00:09:30,070 When you return, be sure to bring mom through the back door.
00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:31,905 Hurry kitty, you're my only hope!
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,033 That's it, that's it, Mr. Kitty!
00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:37,286 Meow, meow...
00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:40,664 Aww, goddamnit!
00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:43,208 [doorbell]
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:44,710 Who is that?
00:09:44,835 --> 00:09:46,461 Oh, I invited the guys in the band over
00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:47,921 so that we can practice.
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:50,799 Skylar, your band can't practice here!
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,759 Hey, do you want me to make it or not?
00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:55,304 Don't stand between me and my dreams, babe!
00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:57,764 S'up Mark, s'up Jonesy?
00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:59,558 Just keep the volume down!
00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:02,144 I have to go deal with turd boy.
00:10:02,561 --> 00:10:03,437 [knocking]
00:10:03,562 --> 00:10:04,438 Hey, who was that?
00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:05,897 Who came to the door?
00:10:06,023 --> 00:10:08,066 Eric! Your mom's been in an accident!
00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:10,736 You just want me to open the door!
00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:13,822 We need to run over to the hospital and identify her body.
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,240 We'll be right back!
00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:16,617 What? Is she okay?
00:10:16,742 --> 00:10:18,535 Not really... she's dead!
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:19,703 Huh!?
00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:22,748 Ha ha, that was a turd trick.
00:10:22,873 --> 00:10:24,333 Your mom isn't really dead!
00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:26,752 Ah ha! I knew it was a turd trick
00:10:26,877 --> 00:10:28,295 and I opened the door because Mr. Kitty
00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:30,255 is on his way, right now to my mom's party
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:31,465 with the picture!
00:10:31,590 --> 00:10:33,717 Ha ha, I knew you sent the cat
00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:36,261 and that's why I went outside and got him!
00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:39,765 Ha ha, I saw you get the picture back from Mr. Kitty
00:10:39,890 --> 00:10:41,475 and that's why I wrote a letter to the press:
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,518 "To be opened in case of my demise."
00:10:43,644 --> 00:10:45,854 So if anything happened to me, that letter will go out.
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,147 And you will never find it!
00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:49,524 You mean, this one?
00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,902 Okay. Let's see here...
00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:53,153 Ah-ha!
00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:54,655 Uhmm...
00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:55,906 Goddamnit!
00:10:56,031 --> 00:10:57,532 [rip]
00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:58,617 Arhhh!
00:10:58,742 --> 00:11:00,994 [thump thump] Ow, ow!
00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:03,497 Okay, check, check check 1, 2, check!
00:11:03,622 --> 00:11:04,915 Okay, ready?
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:05,999 Alright, let's try the new song.
00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:08,210 This is a song I wrote for you, Shelly.
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,587 1, 2, 1-2-3-4!
00:11:12,130 --> 00:11:14,091 ♪ When I saw her walking down the street ♪
00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:16,176 ♪ I thought she was Shelly, Shelly ♪
00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:17,803 Aw man, you guys suck!
00:11:17,928 --> 00:11:20,555 ♪ Now that we're together I'm absolutely sure ♪
00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:22,516 ♪ That she's Shelly, Shelly ♪
00:11:22,641 --> 00:11:25,352 You're the crappiest band I've ever heard.
00:11:25,477 --> 00:11:27,646 ♪ Move into my mom's house with me ♪
00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:29,356 ♪ Shelly, Shelly ♪
00:11:29,481 --> 00:11:33,568 Reowww, reowwww...
00:11:33,694 --> 00:11:34,945 Reowww!
00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:37,239 Reowww...
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:38,949 Reowwww...
00:11:39,074 --> 00:11:40,826 [in the distance] Meowww!
00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:44,871 Reowww!
00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,046 Bridge!
00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:57,134 ♪ I pledge allegiance to the flag ♪
00:11:57,259 --> 00:11:59,761 ♪ Of the united states... ♪
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,972 ♪ Of Shelly, Shelly ♪
00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:03,765 Oh my God, somebody shoot me in the head!
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:04,808 Hey! Shut up, tubby!
00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:06,184 Don't call me fat!
00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:07,728 Now, you guys are not supposed to be in here,
00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:10,605 you get out now and respect my authority!
00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:11,940 Ow!
00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:18,238 Reowwww!
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:19,406 Meowww...
00:12:19,531 --> 00:12:20,449 Reowww...
00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:23,368 Meowww...
00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:24,911 Reowww?
00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:26,997 Meowwww...
00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:28,165 Reowwww...
00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:31,543 Meoww... Meoww...
00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:33,086 Meowww... [grunting]
00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:36,631 Yeah, dude, that was hot!
00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:37,883 This guitar rocks, man!
00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:38,925 It rocks!
00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:40,135 What do you think, Shelly?
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:41,386 Honestly?
00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:43,305 I think you guys need some work.
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:44,681 Oh, really?
00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:47,100 I just think your sound is kind of...
00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:48,560 ..."last week."
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:50,520 Well, I'd like to see you do any better, bitch!
00:12:50,645 --> 00:12:53,023 Well, I <i>do</i> have a song I wrote.
00:12:53,148 --> 00:12:54,941 Okay, why don't you sing it for us?
00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:57,527 No Skylar, I'm embarrassed!
00:12:57,652 --> 00:12:58,737 Hey, man, don't be shy!
00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:01,823 Well, okay... I'll try.
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:04,409 But I'm not promising anything.
00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:07,704 1-2-3-4!
00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:16,004 ♪ So much pain in the world today ♪
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,465 ♪ Too many turds are heading my way ♪
00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:21,468 ♪ But we can flush the turds together ♪
00:13:21,593 --> 00:13:24,179 ♪ Passing by turds whenever ♪
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:26,014 ♪ Don't you know it's a-♪
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,683 ♪ Life's so void of happiness ♪
00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:31,812 ♪ Feel free to mark my words ♪
00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:34,356 ♪ But me and you will my love do ♪
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,233 ♪ In a world that's full of turds ♪
00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:37,776 ♪ Turds ♪ ♪ Turds ♪
00:13:37,901 --> 00:13:39,444 ♪ Dime-a-dozen Sphincter-lovin' ♪
00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:40,779 ♪ Turds ♪ ♪ Turds ♪
00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:42,072 Mom, the babysitter has her boyfriend over!
00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:43,782 Oh no, no, no that's impossible, hon.
00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:44,991 I told her no visitors.
00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:46,743 There's a whole crappy band here,
00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:47,494 can you hear them?
00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:48,829 Can you hear them?
00:13:48,954 --> 00:13:50,580 This party is very loud, poopykins!
00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:51,915 You'll have to speak up!
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:52,999 Damnit, her boyfriend is here,
00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:54,292 don't you believe me?
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:56,127 Not really, hon, Mom has to go now.
00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:57,546 I'll be home in about an hour.
00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,256 Oh, oh! Mr. Mackey!
00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:01,842 [Mackey] Ha-huh, 'kay.
00:14:01,967 --> 00:14:04,427 I'll never be able to prove that son-of-a-bitch was here!
00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:07,556 My <i>Speak 'n Record</i> bear.
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:09,015 Of course!
00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:10,600 ♪ In a world that's full of turds ♪
00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:12,269 ♪ Turds ♪
00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:14,187 Dude, this is gay!
00:14:14,312 --> 00:14:15,730 Shut up!
00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:18,358 You shut up, your girlfriend is not joining our band.
00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:20,277 Yeah dude, what the hell's wrong with you anyway?
00:14:20,402 --> 00:14:21,361 She's like, 12!
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:22,696 You guys get out!
00:14:22,821 --> 00:14:24,239 Don't question my love!
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:25,907 My love is as pure as morning snow!
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:28,118 Get out, I said!
00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:31,830 Reowwww!
00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:35,917 [muffled screeching]
00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:38,879 Meowww?
00:14:39,296 --> 00:14:40,297 Reowww...
00:14:42,507 --> 00:14:44,134 [muffled meowing]
00:14:45,594 --> 00:14:47,596 Meoww...
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:48,471 Reowww!
00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:50,599 Uh... zzzz...
00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:54,144 Meowww!
00:14:54,269 --> 00:14:55,604 Aw, man!
00:14:57,689 --> 00:14:58,773 Testing, testing, 1-2...
00:14:58,899 --> 00:14:59,733 [rewinding]
00:14:59,858 --> 00:15:00,901 Testing, testing, 1-2...
00:15:01,026 --> 00:15:02,652 Sweet.
00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:05,947 We're gonna go outside to watch the meteor shower
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:07,908 I'm locking you in your room 'til we get back in, <i>turd.</i>
00:15:08,033 --> 00:15:09,743 Okay, see you in a while.
00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:11,286 Will you tell me what it looked like?
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:12,746 The meteor shower?
00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:14,998 They mostly come every few years... mostly.
00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:16,291 What the hell is wrong with you?
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,584 How come you're not yelling and whining?
00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:19,920 Well, I just, I kind of like having you around.
00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:21,087 What? No you don't!
00:15:21,212 --> 00:15:22,380 No, I'm serious.
00:15:22,505 --> 00:15:24,633 See, I never had a brother or sister.
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:25,926 I think people that have a brother or sister
00:15:26,051 --> 00:15:27,344 don't realize how lucky they are.
00:15:27,469 --> 00:15:28,845 Sure, they fight a lot
00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:30,263 but to know that there's always somebody there,
00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:31,640 somebody that's <i>family.</i>
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:34,851 I wonder if... Well, maybe sometimes,
00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:37,187 I could pretend like you're my big sister.
00:15:37,312 --> 00:15:39,689 And you could kind of, watch over me, you know,
00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:42,108 like, <i>we</i> could watch a meteor shower together some time.
00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:44,736 And I could pretend I'm somebody's brother!
00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:46,780 If only for a day.
00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:50,325 Alright, get your turd coat.
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,785 You can come see the meteor shower with us.
00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:52,994 You mean it?
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,204 But don't bug me and Skylar, c'mon!
00:15:54,329 --> 00:15:56,247 Hoo-ray!
00:15:56,373 --> 00:16:01,044 Yes, I'm gonna have you and your boyfriend's voices on my <i>Speak 'n Record</i> bear
00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:04,506 and then you'll mostly never babysit me again...mostly.
00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:09,636 Yes, yes, what a beautiful night!
00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:12,180 It is Saturday, the 12th at 10:45
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,683 and my mother is away at a party right now.
00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:16,059 Shut up, turd!
00:16:16,184 --> 00:16:18,186 That, of course, is the voice of my babysitter
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,521 Shelly Marsh, age 12.
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:20,522 What are you doing?
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:22,023 I'm just thinking out loud.
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:23,942 Do you have anything to say, Skylar,
00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:25,568 Shelly's boyfriend, who is sitting right here?
00:16:25,694 --> 00:16:27,654 Go away, turd.
00:16:27,779 --> 00:16:30,865 I'm sorry, did you say something Skylar?
00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:31,866 Ahhh!
00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:34,452 Reowww...
00:16:34,577 --> 00:16:38,415 Meoww... Reowww... Reowww...
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:44,629 [purring]
00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:45,672 Meoww... Reowww... Reowww...
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:47,924 Yeah, c'mon give it up!
00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:49,050 No!
00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:49,884 Give it up, babe!
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:50,468 No!!!
00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:51,720 C'mon, baby!
00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:53,263 No Skylar, I'm not putting out for you!
00:16:53,388 --> 00:16:54,264 Why the hell not?
00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:55,473 'Cause I'm <i>12</i>!
00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:56,599 You're not gonna put out for me?
00:16:56,725 --> 00:16:57,809 No!!
00:16:57,934 --> 00:16:59,310 Well, then, screw you, bitch!
00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:00,812 I've got plenty of other girlfriends that <i>will</i>!
00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:02,731 What? But I thought you liked me!
00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:04,858 If you're not putting out then I'm movin' on.
00:17:04,983 --> 00:17:06,443 There's plenty of chicks like you out there.
00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:09,195 Screw you, prude bitch.
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:12,615 Me and my bad ass guitar are going home<i>. Hasta</i>!
00:17:12,741 --> 00:17:14,659 Gotcha!
00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:19,080 [sobbing softly]
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,583 Oh yeah, oh yeah! I'm the kid with the wild west!
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,460 Shelly, guess who's busted!?
00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:26,046 [sobbing louder]
00:17:26,171 --> 00:17:28,214 Hey, I said, guess who's busted!?
00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:30,008 [sobbing continues]
00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:35,180 You're not gonna trick me, I got the goods on you!
00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:36,973 I don't care!
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:40,518 He acted like he really liked me,
00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:43,521 nobody's ever liked me before!
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:46,483 I can't believe I trusted him!
00:17:46,608 --> 00:17:48,026 I'm so <i>stupid</i>!
00:17:48,151 --> 00:17:50,320 But, dude, he's 22!
00:17:50,445 --> 00:17:51,738 What were you doing with him, anyway?
00:17:51,863 --> 00:17:53,406 Nobody my age would go out with me
00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:54,908 'cause I'm too ugly!
00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:56,326 You're not ugly!
00:17:56,451 --> 00:17:57,577 You don't think so?
00:17:57,702 --> 00:17:59,204 Well, you're pretty ugly, but
00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:00,872 you don't have to be dating 22 year olds.
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:02,749 I mean, what kind of scumbag asshole
00:18:02,874 --> 00:18:04,167 dates 12-year-old girls?
00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:05,794 You're right, he <i>is</i> a scumbag!
00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:07,337 I wish I could get him back.
00:18:07,462 --> 00:18:08,797 I just don't know how.
00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:10,965 Well, I <i>could</i> ask Artemus Cloud Frog.
00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:12,175 He would know.
00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:13,301 Huh!?
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,719 If you want, I could help you.
00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:15,929 Really? You would do that?
00:18:16,054 --> 00:18:17,889 Just let me get my cowboy hat.
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:28,066 Reowww...?
00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:30,693 Reowww...
00:18:30,819 --> 00:18:32,320 Reowww...
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:35,156 Reowww... Meowww... Reowww... Meowww...
00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:37,992 [dance music starts]
00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:45,625 [lame guitar strumming]
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,169 [knock on door]
00:18:50,505 --> 00:18:52,674 What the hell is this!?
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:57,178 [high voice in distance] Help me, help me... this is Salma Hayek!
00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:58,638 is anybody there?
00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:01,558 Salma Hayek? Whoa, she's hot!
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:04,853 Okay, it's clear!
00:19:06,104 --> 00:19:08,189 Over here, please come quick!
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:10,316 We don't have much time!
00:19:10,441 --> 00:19:12,777 This won't take me long!
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:15,780 [dance music pumping]
00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:18,616 Reowww... Meowww... Meowww... Meowww...
00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:22,036 Reowww... Meowww... Reowww... Meowww...
00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:24,414 Reowww... Meowww... Reowww... Meowww...
00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:31,754 Reowww...?
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:33,464 Hurry up in there!
00:19:33,590 --> 00:19:35,008 I'm almost done!
00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:36,134 Hellooo?
00:19:36,259 --> 00:19:38,094 Hello, Mrs. Hayek?
00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:40,096 Over here, please help me!
00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:41,723 I am lost and I have no clothes!
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:44,392 No clothes, right!
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,060 [crunching & sawing]
00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:48,563 I'm over here, please help me!
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,190 I will reward you greatly.
00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:51,608 I'm right here, Ms. Hayek.
00:19:51,733 --> 00:19:53,109 Oh, please help me!
00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:54,485 What the--
00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:56,487 Please help me, I will give you tacos.
00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:58,448 Dude, somebody tricked me!
00:19:58,573 --> 00:20:02,285 I'll make you pay for making me come out here, Goddamnit!
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:06,414 Stupid asshole stuffed animals trying to ruin my night!
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:07,707 [gasp]
00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:11,419 My guitar!
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,213 [echoing] Nooooooo!
00:20:14,631 --> 00:20:15,715 That was <i>so</i> cool!
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:17,008 I wish we could'a seen his face.
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:18,468 Thanks for all your help, Eric.
00:20:18,593 --> 00:20:21,054 Y'know, as far as turds go, you're okay!
00:20:21,179 --> 00:20:23,056 [music still cranking]
00:20:23,181 --> 00:20:24,015 Oh, my God!
00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:28,728 They're having a cat orgy!
00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:30,772 You are all very bad kitties!
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:33,107 That is a bad, bad kitty!
00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:34,567 Your mom's gonna be home soon.
00:20:34,692 --> 00:20:35,777 We're gonna get busted!
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:38,821 C'mon kitties, outside, c'mon...
00:20:38,947 --> 00:20:41,115 That's it, c'mon, c'mon!
00:20:41,241 --> 00:20:42,575 Uh-oh...
00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:45,787 You two ruined my career. I'm gonna get you!
00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:47,455 Ughn!
00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:50,083 Ohhhh, ohhhhh!
00:20:50,208 --> 00:20:52,377 Arghhhh! What are you doing!?
00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:54,712 Ohh, you ripped my pants off...
00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:57,757 Oh my God, I'm not a cat!!!
00:20:57,882 --> 00:20:59,133 C'mon, we've gotta get the house clean
00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:00,260 before your mom gets home.
00:21:00,385 --> 00:21:02,262 Y'know, Eric, it's kinda cool
00:21:02,387 --> 00:21:04,138 that two people who hated each other can be friends.
00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:06,307 Yeah, I think we get along okay.
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:08,643 Hi kids, I'm home!
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,481 Mom, I can explain!
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:15,566 It was all Shelly's fault she didn't watch the cat!
00:21:15,692 --> 00:21:18,236 No, it was Eric's fault he let these cats in here!
00:21:18,361 --> 00:21:20,530 Oooh, what a party <i>that</i> was!
00:21:20,655 --> 00:21:22,198 ♪ [humming merrily] ♪
00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:26,035 Wow, she passed out!
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:27,912 Luckily for us, my mom's a total lush!
00:21:28,037 --> 00:21:29,372 Well let's clean up the house.
00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:30,790 Looks like everything turned out okay!
00:21:30,915 --> 00:21:33,084 That's how it goes in the wild, wild west!
00:21:33,209 --> 00:21:35,253 [rapping] ♪ Well I'm a bad-ass cowboy living in the cowboy days ♪
00:21:35,378 --> 00:21:37,880 ♪ Wicky-wicky scratch yo-yo bang-bang ♪
00:21:38,006 --> 00:21:42,218 ♪ Me and Artemus Cloud Frog go save Salma Hayek from the big metal spider ♪
00:21:42,343 --> 00:21:44,470 ♪ Wicky-wicky wick wicky-wicky wick ♪
00:21:44,595 --> 00:21:46,180 ♪ Fresh cowboy from the west side ♪♪
00:21:50,476 --> 00:21:52,061 ♪ Wicky-wicky scratch yo-yo bang-bang ♪
00:21:52,186 --> 00:21:56,065 ♪ Me and Artemus Cloud Frog go to save Salma party pants ♪
00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:58,526 [stumbling] ♪ Go down to... where... ♪♪
00:21:58,651 --> 00:22:00,153 [laughing]

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