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Твик против Крейга
Tweek Vs. Craig
Сезон: 03Серия: 05
Описание
Друзья тренируют двух одноклассников, чтобы те подрались. Учитель труда мистер Адлер вспоминает погибшую невесту.
Субтитры
- 00:00:09,719 --> 00:00:11,512 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:11,637 --> 00:00:13,681 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:15,182 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:15,307 --> 00:00:16,767 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:18,144 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:18,269 --> 00:00:20,146 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:20,271 --> 00:00:21,689 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:21,814 --> 00:00:23,566 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
- 00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:24,692 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
- 00:00:24,817 --> 00:00:26,694 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:29,989 --> 00:00:31,449 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:31,574 --> 00:00:33,117 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:39,206 This is Shop Class.
- 00:00:39,331 --> 00:00:41,333 My name is Mr. Adler.
- 00:00:41,459 --> 00:00:43,502 For the next week, rather than your normal schoolwork,
- 00:00:43,627 --> 00:00:45,755 you will be learning how to make things.
- 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,799 Now, does anybody know why you are in Shop Class?
- 00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:50,509 Yes?
- 00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:51,844 'Cause we had to choose between this and Home Ec
- 00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:52,970 and we didn't want to be sissies?
- 00:00:53,095 --> 00:00:54,972 Wrong!
- 00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:56,849 You are here, because you are America's future.
- 00:00:56,974 --> 00:01:00,019 You may someday be doctors or lawyers or scientists...
- 00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:01,771 Most of you, however,
- 00:01:01,896 --> 00:01:03,522 will be pumping gas or cutting sheet metal.
- 00:01:03,647 --> 00:01:05,816 And that's why we have... Shop Class.
- 00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:07,985 Ohhh.
- 00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:10,696 Now let me make one thing crystal clear...
- 00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:12,615 I don't like kids that screw around.
- 00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:14,533 You screw around in Shop Class...
- 00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:16,410 You can lose a hand or an eye.
- 00:01:16,535 --> 00:01:17,787 I have...
- 00:01:17,912 --> 00:01:20,956 I have... I have...
- 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:24,168 Mr. Adler? - Huh?!
- 00:01:24,293 --> 00:01:26,504 Oh, uh... I was just saying that I want to know
- 00:01:26,629 --> 00:01:29,840 who is the biggest troublemaker in your class?
- 00:01:29,965 --> 00:01:31,717 Tweek is! - Agh, no I'm not!
- 00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:32,551 Yeah you are Tweek, you always get in trouble.
- 00:01:32,635 --> 00:01:33,552 Agh!
- 00:01:33,677 --> 00:01:35,096 Uh, hello excuse me,
- 00:01:35,221 --> 00:01:36,430 but Craig is the biggest troublemaker in our class.
- 00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:39,892 That true, Craig? You a troublemaker?
- 00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:42,728 No. - Well, you better not be, because in Shop Class--
- 00:01:42,853 --> 00:01:44,563 Hey! Did you just flip me off?
- 00:01:44,688 --> 00:01:46,148 No. - Yes, you did!
- 00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:47,983 Told ya! - Dude, Shop Class sucks.
- 00:01:48,109 --> 00:01:49,401 Maybe we should've taken Home Ec.
- 00:01:49,527 --> 00:01:50,903 No way, dude, Home Ec is for girls!
- 00:01:51,028 --> 00:01:52,988 Welcome to Home Ec.
- 00:01:53,114 --> 00:01:55,950 For the next week, you will be learning how to bake, sew,
- 00:01:56,075 --> 00:01:58,911 clean and make things that are lacy and pretty.
- 00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:01,122 Woo-hoo! - Yes, Wendy?
- 00:02:01,247 --> 00:02:03,207 I requested to be in Shop Class but they sent me here.
- 00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:04,875 That's right, Wendy.
- 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,627 You see, some of you girls will go on to have
- 00:02:06,752 --> 00:02:08,337 interesting jobs and careers.
- 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:11,048 But all of you pretty ones won't have to worry about that,
- 00:02:11,173 --> 00:02:13,175 because you can marry a nice man.
- 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:15,261 And that's why we have Home Ec!
- 00:02:15,386 --> 00:02:17,763 Woo-hoo!
- 00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:22,309 I wonder why Kenny didn't want to take Shop Class?
- 00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:23,519 I don't know, he's such a wuss!
- 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,104 Hey, don't screw around.
- 00:02:25,229 --> 00:02:27,398 You screw around too much.
- 00:02:27,523 --> 00:02:29,525 Y'know you guys are totally wrong about Tweek.
- 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:30,734 Craig is way worse than he is.
- 00:02:33,404 --> 00:02:34,655 No he's not dude, Craig is a wuss.
- 00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:36,073 Dude, if Craig and Tweek got in a fight,
- 00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:37,741 Craig would kick Tweek's ass.
- 00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:38,951 You wanna bet? - Yeah, I'll bet!
- 00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:40,244 How much? - Five bucks.
- 00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:42,413 You're on! - Agh!
- 00:02:42,538 --> 00:02:43,622 Hey, Tweek. - Agh!
- 00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:45,291 Dude, Craig chooses you, he wants to fight.
- 00:02:45,416 --> 00:02:47,126 He does? - Yeah, he's all pissed off at you.
- 00:02:47,251 --> 00:02:48,043 So will you fight him? - Why?
- 00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:49,503 Dude, because.
- 00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:50,462 You have to stand up for yourself.
- 00:02:50,588 --> 00:02:52,590 So will you fight him?
- 00:02:52,715 --> 00:02:54,508 Agh! He doesn't look like he wants to fight me.
- 00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:56,177 Craig, can I talk to you real quick?
- 00:02:56,302 --> 00:02:58,470 Just for a second, please.
- 00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:01,140 Craig, I'm not normally one to get involved in this kind of thing but...
- 00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:02,808 Well, I was just standing over by Tweek,
- 00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,768 and he called you a big poopeater.
- 00:03:04,894 --> 00:03:06,854 He did?! - Yeah, he said you eat poop,
- 00:03:06,979 --> 00:03:08,480 and that it makes your breath smell like poop,
- 00:03:08,606 --> 00:03:10,524 and that, well, you like it.
- 00:03:10,649 --> 00:03:11,567 Why would he say that?!
- 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:12,776 I don't know, Craig, I don't know.
- 00:03:12,902 --> 00:03:14,195 But now he's over there telling everybody
- 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:15,905 that you're a poopeater and he chooses you.
- 00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:17,072 Well, I'm gonna go over there and--
- 00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:18,449 No, no, Craig, you can't fight him here,
- 00:03:18,574 --> 00:03:19,992 Mr. Adler will just break it up.
- 00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:21,535 Tell you what, I'll go tell him you accept his challenge,
- 00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:22,953 and set it up for after school today.
- 00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:24,914 Okay.
- 00:03:25,039 --> 00:03:26,624 There you see, he just flipped you off!
- 00:03:26,749 --> 00:03:27,791 Agh! What a jerk!
- 00:03:27,917 --> 00:03:28,792 He's really got it out for you, dude.
- 00:03:28,918 --> 00:03:30,419 Why?! What did I do?!
- 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:31,754 So do you agree to fight him after school?
- 00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:34,089 I guess so. - Super, see ya there!
- 00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:42,181 Catch me, Richard!
- 00:03:42,306 --> 00:03:43,807 Ha ha ha ha...
- 00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:47,645 I'm so in love with you, Richard.
- 00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:51,315 I made you some cookies, Richard!
- 00:03:54,193 --> 00:03:55,569 Merry Christmas, Richard.
- 00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:57,571 Ha ha ha, oh, Richard...
- 00:03:57,696 --> 00:03:59,990 Say we'll be this happy forever.
- 00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:02,201 Ahhhhh!
- 00:04:02,326 --> 00:04:03,619 Richard!
- 00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:06,038 Arhhh!
- 00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:11,543 Oh, why... why?!
- 00:04:11,669 --> 00:04:13,629 Mr. Adler! Mr. Adler?!
- 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:14,797 Huh?!
- 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,006 Stop screwin' around!
- 00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:16,966 The bell rang, can we go?
- 00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:18,676 Oh, well, sure.
- 00:04:18,801 --> 00:04:20,344 Uh, class dismissed.
- 00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:21,929 Come on, you guys!
- 00:04:23,889 --> 00:04:25,474 This is gonna be sweet, dude!
- 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:26,976 You guys are so wrong about Tweek.
- 00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:27,810 He's gonna get his ass kicked.
- 00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:29,311 We'll see.
- 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:30,771 Why don't we just raise our bet to $10.
- 00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:32,147 You're on, fat ass.
- 00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:33,482 Well, well, well, look who's here.
- 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,109 Our little Home Economics friend, Kenny.
- 00:04:35,234 --> 00:04:36,402 Mph rm rmph rm rmph rm.
- 00:04:36,527 --> 00:04:37,569 How come you wanna take Home Ec, Kenny?
- 00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:39,530 Yeah, that's not cool, dude.
- 00:04:39,655 --> 00:04:40,948 Bye, Kenny! See ya tomorrow!
- 00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:42,700 Hey, what's going on?
- 00:04:42,825 --> 00:04:43,867 Tweek and Craig are gonna fight.
- 00:04:43,993 --> 00:04:45,619 Really? Cool!
- 00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:48,956 It's funny, cuz Tweek and Craig both went home
- 00:04:49,081 --> 00:04:50,207 about 15 minutes ago.
- 00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:51,709 What!? - Yeah, they left.
- 00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:52,793 Aw, hell!
- 00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:53,961 Those sons-a-bitches!
- 00:04:54,086 --> 00:04:54,795 I guess they don't want to fight.
- 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:55,963 Oh, they want to fight!
- 00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:57,172 They just don't know it yet!
- 00:04:59,842 --> 00:05:02,219 Tweek! - Tweek!
- 00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:03,721 Agh! What do you guys want?
- 00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:05,222 How come you didn't show up to the fight, Tweek?
- 00:05:05,347 --> 00:05:07,725 Craig and I have no reason to fight each other!
- 00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:08,809 Well, Craig showed up.
- 00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:10,185 He did?
- 00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:11,395 Yeah, he was standing there waiting for you.
- 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:12,604 And he was all like, "man, Tweek's a wuss"
- 00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:14,398 and we were all like, "no he's not, Craig"
- 00:05:14,523 --> 00:05:16,025 and he was all like, "yeah he is, he isn't showing up,
- 00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:17,318 he's a big wuss and he has crooked teeth."
- 00:05:17,443 --> 00:05:19,236 I don't have crooked teeth.
- 00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:20,612 And then Craig was all like, "Tweek is scared of me!
- 00:05:20,738 --> 00:05:22,698 He's a big chicken!"
- 00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,700 And he started doing an impersonation of you being a chicken...
- 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:25,868 And everybody in the world saw it.
- 00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,494 Everyone in the world?! Agh!
- 00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:28,537 Yeah, it was weak.
- 00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,039 I'm not a chicken!
- 00:05:30,164 --> 00:05:31,123 Well everyone in the world thinks you are.
- 00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:32,541 See ya, Tweek. - Wait! I'll fight!
- 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,293 Tomorrow? - Okay.
- 00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,590 Craig, what the hell are you doing home?
- 00:05:39,715 --> 00:05:40,466 You're supposed to be out fighting Tweek.
- 00:05:40,591 --> 00:05:42,509 <i>Red Racer's</i> on.
- 00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:43,844 Craig, you can watch <i>Red Racer</i> any day of the week.
- 00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:45,471 I <i>do</i> watch <i>Red Racer</i> every day of the week!
- 00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:47,639 Well, that's fine.
- 00:05:47,765 --> 00:05:48,932 I guess you don't care about what Tweek said about your mom.
- 00:05:49,058 --> 00:05:50,225 Nope.
- 00:05:50,351 --> 00:05:51,852 Goddammit...
- 00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:55,647 I guess you don't care what Tweek said about your guinea pig.
- 00:05:55,773 --> 00:05:57,107 What?!
- 00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:59,026 What did he say about Stripe?!
- 00:05:59,151 --> 00:06:00,903 Oh nothing, except that you stick it up your ass before you go to bed.
- 00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:02,529 That son-of-a-bitch I'll kill him!!
- 00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:04,448 Yeah, I'd be pissed, too.
- 00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:05,282 So maybe we should reschedule the fight for tomorrow?
- 00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:06,492 After <i>Red Racer!</i>
- 00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:07,785 After <i>Red Racer,</i> of course.
- 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:10,329 How was school today, son?
- 00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:11,580 Agh!!
- 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,040 That's great.
- 00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:14,291 Dad, if some kid at school wants to fight me...
- 00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:15,834 What should I do?
- 00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:18,128 Son, let me tell you a little story
- 00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:20,631 about when your mother and I first met...
- 00:06:20,756 --> 00:06:22,466 You see, a long time ago
- 00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:23,842 there were a lot of guys who were after your mother,
- 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,427 she used to be very attractive.
- 00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,012 It's true, I was.
- 00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:29,264 Well, when I started courting your mother,
- 00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:32,893 there was this big muscular football player named "Quib"
- 00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:34,937 who didn't take too kindly to me.
- 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,314 He wanted your mother all to himself.
- 00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:41,360 And so, one day, he challenged me to a fight.
- 00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:50,369 Well?! - Well what, honey?
- 00:06:50,494 --> 00:06:51,995 Agh!! What happened?
- 00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:53,997 Oh, I don't know, he moved away or something.
- 00:06:54,123 --> 00:06:55,082 Yes, I think that's right.
- 00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:56,792 Aghagh!! You guys never help me!
- 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,877 Your stories never go anywhere, I hate it.
- 00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:01,505 I want out, I want out!
- 00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:03,924 Dad, I'm supposed to get in a fight tomorrow.
- 00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,384 With who? - Some kid.
- 00:07:05,509 --> 00:07:06,802 Oh.
- 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:07,845 Don't just "oh" him, Thomas!
- 00:07:07,970 --> 00:07:09,054 Yeah, don't just "oh" me.
- 00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:11,765 I'll "oh" whoever I want!
- 00:07:17,646 --> 00:07:19,148 Well, that was fun, Pearl.
- 00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:20,774 See ya later.
- 00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:22,067 Richard, aren't you going to invite me in?
- 00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:23,360 Why?
- 00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:24,820 Well, I thought maybe you would
- 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:26,864 at least <i>attempt</i> to make love to me tonight.
- 00:07:26,989 --> 00:07:30,534 Oh well, I... I can't. I left the oven on.
- 00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:33,787 Oh, Richard, why can't you open your heart to me, why?
- 00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:35,289 I just... I can't!
- 00:07:35,414 --> 00:07:38,000 I... Oh, I know, I have genital warts.
- 00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:39,418 We'll use plastic wrap.
- 00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,378 Nope, sorry, maybe some other time.
- 00:07:49,178 --> 00:07:53,015 Swing me, Richard, swing me higher!
- 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,100 I want to touch the sky, Richard!
- 00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:57,519 Richard, I'm here...
- 00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,354 Just now.
- 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:03,275 Oh, Richard, it's beautiful!
- 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,027 Yes, yes.
- 00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:08,780 But you have to come see me fly tomorrow, Richard.
- 00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:10,616 I have a surprise for you.
- 00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:13,744 Don't worry Richard, I'm a pilot.
- 00:08:13,869 --> 00:08:15,412 It's what I do.
- 00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:17,706 Aaaghgh!
- 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,249 Richard!
- 00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:21,668 Richard.
- 00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:23,545 Aaaghggh!
- 00:08:26,048 --> 00:08:30,677 Oh god... What am I going to do?
- 00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:37,643 Okay, so, just to set the record straight here,
- 00:08:37,768 --> 00:08:40,771 the fight will be happening, out by the tetherball pole at 3:30.
- 00:08:40,896 --> 00:08:43,148 Tweek just weighed in at 48 pounds, Craig at 45.
- 00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:44,775 Uh, how long do you expect the fight to last?
- 00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:46,944 How ever long Craig wants it to last.
- 00:08:47,069 --> 00:08:47,903 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
- 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,863 Make no mistake.
- 00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:51,698 Craig has been ready for this fight since day one.
- 00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:53,116 He doesn't even view it as a challenge.
- 00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:54,451 He'll view it as a challenge
- 00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:55,911 when he's getting his ass kicked!
- 00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,204 Did you hear that-- it sounds like diarrhea
- 00:08:57,329 --> 00:08:58,413 coming out of someone's mouth or something.
- 00:08:58,539 --> 00:08:59,790 Shut up, fat ass!
- 00:08:59,915 --> 00:09:00,791 Don't call me fat you son-of-a-bitch!
- 00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,301 Wow, Tweek and Craig really hate each other, huh?
- 00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:12,886 This should be a good fight.
- 00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:15,222 On your first date, look at the man's shoes.
- 00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:17,099 Sometimes you can tell how much money a man has
- 00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:18,600 just by his shoes.
- 00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,686 When he takes you out to dinner,
- 00:09:20,811 --> 00:09:23,021 try to sneak a peek at his wallet while he pays for you.
- 00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:25,816 If he only has <i>one</i> credit card, beware.
- 00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:27,818 It means he doesn't spend a lot,
- 00:09:27,943 --> 00:09:29,861 and worse yet, it could be a debit card.
- 00:09:29,987 --> 00:09:31,530 If he has more than four credit cards,
- 00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:33,073 that's a little fishy.
- 00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:34,324 The perfect number of credit cards
- 00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:36,201 for a man to have is... two.
- 00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:37,995 Yes, Bebe.
- 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:39,580 What if we meet a guy
- 00:09:39,705 --> 00:09:40,581 who wants to be a doctor or a lawyer,
- 00:09:40,706 --> 00:09:42,291 but is still getting his degree?
- 00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:44,543 Dump that zero and get yourself a hero.
- 00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:47,296 He could earning that degree all his life
- 00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:48,839 while you starve to death
- 00:09:48,964 --> 00:09:51,675 with two dying babies sucking at your teets.
- 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,680 When I have you guys' ten bucks, I'm gonna use it to buy
- 00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:58,515 the sweetest big-screen TV in the world.
- 00:09:58,640 --> 00:09:59,266 That's more than ten bucks,
- 00:09:59,391 --> 00:10:00,767 you stupid fat ass.
- 00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:01,810 Well, if I get ten bucks from each of you,
- 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,437 that's like $2,000.
- 00:10:03,562 --> 00:10:04,980 Hey, quit screwing around back there!
- 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,190 You're horsin'!
- 00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:09,359 Richard...
- 00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:14,823 Richard...
- 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,826 If you build it...
- 00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:23,498 Swing me, Richard, swing me higher!
- 00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:25,375 Richard, I'm here...
- 00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:26,960 Oh Richard, it's beautiful.
- 00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:28,920 Yes.
- 00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:30,047 But you have to come see me fly tomorrow, Richard.
- 00:10:30,172 --> 00:10:31,965 I have a surprise for you.
- 00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:35,177 Don't worry, Richard, I'm a pilot.
- 00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:39,473 It's all for you.
- 00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:44,519 Aaaghgh!
- 00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:46,480 Richard!
- 00:10:46,605 --> 00:10:47,481 Mr. Adler?!
- 00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:48,482 Mr. Adler!!
- 00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:50,067 Huh, what?
- 00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:51,401 Tommy stuck his face in the belt sander.
- 00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:53,570 The belt sander?
- 00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:56,490 Tommy, I told you not to screw around
- 00:10:56,615 --> 00:10:57,783 with the belt sander, didn't I?
- 00:10:57,908 --> 00:11:00,786 Well, go on, go see the nurse.
- 00:11:00,911 --> 00:11:02,204 She'll give you some peroxide.
- 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:03,330 What's that?
- 00:11:03,455 --> 00:11:05,123 Huh?!
- 00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:06,958 This is a woman that I knew a long time ago.
- 00:11:07,084 --> 00:11:08,126 What'd she die or something?
- 00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:09,836 Wha--hey! Go on!
- 00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:12,589 You're screwin' around in here!
- 00:11:14,549 --> 00:11:15,592 Oh boy, here we go!
- 00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:17,636 What's happening?
- 00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:18,553 Tweek's gonna fight Craig.
- 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:20,597 Oh, cool!
- 00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:23,225 Stay pissed, Tweek, stay pissed.
- 00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:24,893 Alright, here we go!
- 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,478 Time for you to get proven wrong, fat boy.
- 00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,105 You're gonna be eating those words, asshole.
- 00:11:28,230 --> 00:11:30,732 No I won't because you'd eat 'em first, tubby.
- 00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:33,985 Well?
- 00:11:34,111 --> 00:11:35,779 Come on!
- 00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:38,365 Yeah, if you're gonna do it, do it!
- 00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:39,282 What do we do?
- 00:11:39,408 --> 00:11:40,951 Huh?
- 00:11:41,076 --> 00:11:41,702 What do you mean, just fight each other!
- 00:11:41,827 --> 00:11:44,037 How? - How?!
- 00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:45,330 I've never been in a fight before. - Me neither!
- 00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:46,456 Aww!
- 00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:48,041 Aw, dude, come on!
- 00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:49,167 You just hit each other, smack each other around!
- 00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:53,088 Not like <i>that</i>!
- 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:54,464 Like what then?
- 00:11:54,589 --> 00:11:55,632 Alright, alright, screw this--
- 00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:57,008 We'll have to postpone the fight
- 00:11:57,134 --> 00:11:57,926 so Tweek and Craig can learn how to fight.
- 00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,094 Aww!
- 00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:00,470 All that build-up for nothing!
- 00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:01,972 Yeah, Christ, I could've been home by now!
- 00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:03,056 Alright Tweek, we'll teach you how to fight
- 00:12:03,181 --> 00:12:04,391 and Cartman, you teach Craig.
- 00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:05,684 I don't think that's very fair.
- 00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:07,060 If I teach Craig, he's gonna really kill Tweek.
- 00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:08,145 Oh, yeah? Well, I'm gonna have my Uncle Jimbo
- 00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:09,479 teach Tweek how to box!
- 00:12:09,604 --> 00:12:12,023 Oooh, boxing, scary, you guys!
- 00:12:12,149 --> 00:12:13,942 I'm gonna have Craig learn martial arts!
- 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,402 Fine, we'll see you back here tomorrow!
- 00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:16,820 Fine! - Fine!
- 00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,697 Fine, that's fine.
- 00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:20,282 Alrighty, Tweek.
- 00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:21,450 My little nephew Stanley has asked me
- 00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:22,868 to teach you the fine points of boxing!
- 00:12:22,993 --> 00:12:23,869 Agh!
- 00:12:23,994 --> 00:12:25,245 You're in luck.
- 00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:26,288 Ned here used to be the state champion
- 00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:27,789 until a grenade blew his arm off.
- 00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,499 I can still kick ass.
- 00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:32,085 Now, Tweek... Boxing is a man sport.
- 00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:34,588 There is nothing in the world more man, than boxing.
- 00:12:34,713 --> 00:12:36,757 It is man at his most man.
- 00:12:36,882 --> 00:12:38,592 So when you spar with Ned, here,
- 00:12:38,717 --> 00:12:40,927 just dig deep into that most man part of you.
- 00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:42,596 Wah!
- 00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:43,805 Well enough of the lectures!
- 00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:44,848 Let's get to boxing!
- 00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:47,893 Agh!
- 00:12:48,018 --> 00:12:49,603 What you got, bi-atch?
- 00:12:49,728 --> 00:12:52,147 Keep your guard up, Tweek!
- 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,442 Aah! - Damnit!
- 00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:56,902 Come on, Tweek he's only got one arm!
- 00:12:57,027 --> 00:12:58,320 Alright, it looks like we'll have to apply
- 00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:00,530 the <i>Oppenheimer technique</i> with Tweek, here...
- 00:13:00,655 --> 00:13:02,574 What you got, bi-atch?
- 00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:06,036 Punch him in the balls, Tweek!
- 00:13:06,161 --> 00:13:07,370 Atta boy! Now quick,
- 00:13:07,496 --> 00:13:08,580 get him again while he's down!
- 00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:10,707 Owwwwww!!
- 00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:14,044 Good, now kick his balls!
- 00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:17,005 There see?!
- 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,256 You got him coughing up blood!
- 00:13:18,381 --> 00:13:19,257 Hooray!
- 00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:20,383 Agh!
- 00:13:20,509 --> 00:13:22,344 Now <i>that's</i> boxing!
- 00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:26,515 Your friend has brought you to learn the ancient art of sumo.
- 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,975 You must learn the discipline and respect.
- 00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:32,854 In sumo, your body must be like a stone,
- 00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,523 and your mind like a meatloaf.
- 00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,483 Meatloaf?
- 00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:38,777 The object is simply to push opponent out of circle.
- 00:13:38,902 --> 00:13:40,111 Is opponent ready?
- 00:13:40,237 --> 00:13:41,696 I'm ready.
- 00:13:41,822 --> 00:13:45,408 Yeah, I like this hair thing, this is cool.
- 00:13:45,534 --> 00:13:47,077 Let us begin.
- 00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:50,539 Ready... and... begin!
- 00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:52,749 Respect my authority!
- 00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:54,376 Body like stone!
- 00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:56,127 Mind like meatloaf!
- 00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:57,754 Ooh, come on, na!
- 00:13:57,879 --> 00:13:58,839 Oh, Jesus, I can't take it!
- 00:13:58,964 --> 00:14:00,173 Aagh!
- 00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:01,675 Fight back, resist the ass!
- 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,552 How can I resist an ass so great?!
- 00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:05,053 It is only an ass!
- 00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,639 You must overcome the ass with your mind!
- 00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:09,558 This ass is unlike any I have encountered, master--
- 00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:12,435 I win!
- 00:14:12,561 --> 00:14:14,271 There is indeed great power in your ass, Eric.
- 00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:16,565 Perhaps you should consider sumo as a profession.
- 00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:18,441 Hey, maybe!
- 00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:23,989 No... no... make it stop...
- 00:14:24,114 --> 00:14:27,242 Oh Richard, say we'll be this happy forever!
- 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,494 But you have to come see me fly tomorrow, Richard.
- 00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:31,079 I have a surprise for you.
- 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:34,708 Don't worry, Richard, I'm a pilot.
- 00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:37,627 Watch me, Richard!
- 00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:45,635 Aaahhh!!
- 00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:52,309 Richard!
- 00:14:52,434 --> 00:14:54,394 Arggghh!
- 00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:57,355 I never got to say goodbye.
- 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,900 I never got to say goodbye!
- 00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:01,443 Oh, no!
- 00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:04,029 Oh no, now what do I do?!
- 00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:12,037 Okay... that was very good, class.
- 00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:14,080 Now let's try this one together:
- 00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:16,541 "Honey, can I get a new wardrobe?"
- 00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:18,543 Honey, can I get a new wardrobe?
- 00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,712 Alright, now let's try this one together
- 00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:22,255 "Lisa Smith's husband
- 00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:24,299 just bought <i>her</i> a new car..."
- 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,051 Lisa Smith's husband just bought <i>her</i> a new car...
- 00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:28,094 Good, Bebe, why don't you try this one:
- 00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:31,640 "I think a trip to Hawaii would really improve our sex life."
- 00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:32,974 I think a trip to Hawaii
- 00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,017 would really improve our sex life.
- 00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:35,894 Outstanding, now... Kenny.
- 00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:37,687 How about you try:
- 00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:40,774 "I can't make love to you until we get a king-size bed."
- 00:15:40,899 --> 00:15:44,486 Mph rmph rm rmphrmphm... rmph rm rmph rm rm rmph.
- 00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:50,075 Okay... Kenny, could I talk to you over here real quick?
- 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,035 Mph rm.
- 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:55,747 Kenny, I don't quite know how to tell you this, but...
- 00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:57,958 I'm not sure Home Economics is right for you.
- 00:15:58,083 --> 00:15:59,459 Mph?
- 00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:01,086 Well, your cooking is unsatisfactory
- 00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:03,380 your sewing skills are below average and...
- 00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:05,298 frankly, I don't think the odds of you
- 00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:08,760 marrying a nice, rich man in the future are very, well...
- 00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:10,178 good.
- 00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,763 Mph mm?
- 00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:13,390 No, I think you should consider transferring to Shop Class.
- 00:16:13,515 --> 00:16:15,475 Mph rm!
- 00:16:19,062 --> 00:16:23,400 Now, now, very few students are severely injured in Shop Class.
- 00:16:23,525 --> 00:16:24,734 Mph rmph rm rmph rm rmph rmph!!
- 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,196 C'mon, it's time for the fight! - Yeah!
- 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:32,617 Fight? Oh no, no, no, girls! Haven't I taught you anything?!
- 00:16:36,788 --> 00:16:38,623 Okay, the time has finally come!
- 00:16:38,748 --> 00:16:42,210 Programs, get your programs here, programs!
- 00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:44,379 Remember, Tweek, punch hard, punch low.
- 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:46,214 Agh! - This is when you gotta get mean, Tweek!
- 00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:47,924 Agh, mean, agh!!
- 00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:49,801 The spirit of the dragon is in your hands.
- 00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:53,013 Alright? - Okay.
- 00:16:53,138 --> 00:16:54,014 Now listen to me!
- 00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:56,808 Alright, and seriously!
- 00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:58,351 Per shang der pong quang chong!
- 00:16:58,476 --> 00:16:59,936 Okay, okay!
- 00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:04,941 Argh!
- 00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:12,157 You ready, Tweek?
- 00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:13,408 You ready, Craig?
- 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,035 Let's get it on!
- 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:16,369 Respect my authority.
- 00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:20,540 Come on, Tweek!
- 00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:23,084 Come on, Craig!
- 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,670 "To Whom it May Concern,
- 00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:27,672 "I can no longer live without her.
- 00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:29,632 "I could not say goodbye to her,
- 00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:32,385 "and so now I must say goodbye to all of you!
- 00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:34,846 "for I am all out of nicotine gum.
- 00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:38,391 "Sincerely yours, Richard Adler... Shop Class.
- 00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:40,435 "P.S. Don't screw around.
- 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:44,022 You all screw around too much."
- 00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:52,197 Goodbye, cruel world.
- 00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:55,867 Jesus Christ!!
- 00:17:55,992 --> 00:17:57,494 What was I thinking?!
- 00:17:57,619 --> 00:17:59,245 That would'a hurt like hell!
- 00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:10,465 Yeah Craig, c'mon, kick his ass!
- 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:14,719 Come on, Tweek, you got him!
- 00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:16,137 Whoa, Tweek, did you hear that?!
- 00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:17,639 What?! - Craig just called you a boner!
- 00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,474 Agh!
- 00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:20,558 We just have to keep throwing gas on the fire.
- 00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:21,559 Yeah.
- 00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:25,855 Mph rmphm rm?
- 00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:27,107 What?
- 00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:29,067 Who are you?
- 00:18:29,192 --> 00:18:32,278 "Kenny McCormick has been transferred from Home Ec. to Shop Class"
- 00:18:32,403 --> 00:18:34,280 Well, alright, get some safety goggles
- 00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:37,033 and start getting acquainted with the jigsaw over there.
- 00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:54,759 What the--
- 00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:56,136 Here they are!
- 00:18:56,261 --> 00:18:57,554 Hey, what's going on?!
- 00:18:57,679 --> 00:18:58,805 Tweek and Craig are fighting.
- 00:18:58,930 --> 00:19:00,473 We're just watching.
- 00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:01,808 Well, why the hell don't you stop them!?
- 00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:05,728 'Cause we have ten bucks riding on it!
- 00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:07,689 Don't screw around!
- 00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:11,276 Stop screwing around!
- 00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:14,946 Hey, you're screwing around too much!
- 00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:16,614 Arghh!
- 00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:20,160 Oh my God, they killed Kenny!
- 00:19:20,285 --> 00:19:21,578 You bastards!
- 00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:22,662 Well don't just stand there!
- 00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:24,747 Call an ambulance!
- 00:19:24,873 --> 00:19:26,875 You see-- You see what happens
- 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,543 when you screw around in Shop Class?
- 00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:29,919 Mph rm...
- 00:19:30,044 --> 00:19:31,504 What? What's that, son?
- 00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:33,173 Richard...
- 00:19:33,298 --> 00:19:34,424 Aghhh!
- 00:19:34,549 --> 00:19:37,135 No, no, please don't go!
- 00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:38,553 I need you!
- 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:39,554 I can't live without you!
- 00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:42,432 Richard, you have to move on.
- 00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:43,349 I want you to be happy.
- 00:19:43,474 --> 00:19:44,767 But I can't!
- 00:19:44,893 --> 00:19:47,395 I never got to say goodbye.
- 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,397 Then say it now, Richard.
- 00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,441 Goodbye.
- 00:19:51,566 --> 00:19:53,902 There, now do you feel better?
- 00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:55,445 No.
- 00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:56,863 Of course you don't.
- 00:19:56,988 --> 00:20:00,074 Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything.
- 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,702 It's the time we spent together that really matters
- 00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:04,829 not how we left it.
- 00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:06,247 You--you're right.
- 00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:07,081 You're right!
- 00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:08,249 Richard!
- 00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:09,292 It's grandma.
- 00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:10,293 Grandma?!
- 00:20:10,418 --> 00:20:11,961 Hi, gram!
- 00:20:12,086 --> 00:20:13,588 You never said goodbye to me, either.
- 00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,131 Hey, Richie, remember me?
- 00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:16,674 Uncle Corey!
- 00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:18,343 Wow, you're all alive again.
- 00:20:18,468 --> 00:20:20,428 No, we're dead.
- 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:21,888 I love you, Richard.
- 00:20:22,013 --> 00:20:23,139 See you soon.
- 00:20:23,264 --> 00:20:24,432 Thank you!
- 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:25,934 Thank you for freeing me!
- 00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:27,185 I feel like now I can move on!
- 00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:28,895 Baby, I feel so much better!
- 00:20:29,020 --> 00:20:30,313 I feel so alive!
- 00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:31,898 Thank you, baby, thank you!
- 00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:34,025 Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here.
- 00:20:38,655 --> 00:20:40,198 Hi, we're here to visit our good friends Tweek and Craig.
- 00:20:40,323 --> 00:20:41,950 Oh, well, I suppose a quick visit is okay.
- 00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:44,410 Maybe you kids can cheer them up.
- 00:20:46,287 --> 00:20:47,747 Hey guys, how are you feeling?
- 00:20:47,872 --> 00:20:49,916 Agh! - Ugh!
- 00:20:50,041 --> 00:20:51,042 Well, uh, we just came by because we have something to tell you.
- 00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:53,127 Yeah... see, we got you to fight
- 00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:54,587 just 'cause we wanted to see who was the toughest.
- 00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:56,256 We made up all that stuff we said
- 00:20:56,381 --> 00:20:58,007 to get you guys mad at each other.
- 00:20:58,132 --> 00:20:59,717 Yes, you can flip us off, Craig.
- 00:20:59,842 --> 00:21:00,969 We deserve that.
- 00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:02,553 We just came by to apologize.
- 00:21:02,679 --> 00:21:03,554 We feel so bad.
- 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:04,847 Boy, do we ever.
- 00:21:04,973 --> 00:21:07,100 So I guess we'll be going now.
- 00:21:07,225 --> 00:21:08,601 And we'll just live with the knowledge that
- 00:21:08,726 --> 00:21:09,644 you're both kind of sissies.
- 00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:11,354 What!? - What!?
- 00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:12,355 Well, I mean, that's what was on the news.
- 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:13,356 What was on the news?
- 00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:14,440 Oh, you didn't see it?
- 00:21:14,565 --> 00:21:15,566 Tweek's family was on the news
- 00:21:15,692 --> 00:21:16,609 saying what a wuss you are, Craig.
- 00:21:16,734 --> 00:21:18,236 Huh?!
- 00:21:18,361 --> 00:21:19,320 Yeah, and then Craig's family came on
- 00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:20,571 and said Tweek was the wuss,
- 00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:21,447 and then punched Tweek's mom in the hooters.
- 00:21:21,572 --> 00:21:22,532 Agh, you son-of-a-bitch!
- 00:21:22,657 --> 00:21:24,492 I'm gonna kick your ass!!
- 00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:26,828 Come on, Tweek you got him!
- 00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:29,330 Sumo technique, Craig, sumo technique!
- 00:00:09,719 --> 00:00:11,512 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:11,637 --> 00:00:13,681 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:15,182 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:15,307 --> 00:00:16,767 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:18,144 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:18,269 --> 00:00:20,146 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:20,271 --> 00:00:21,689 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:21,814 --> 00:00:23,566 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
- 00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:24,692 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
- 00:00:24,817 --> 00:00:26,694 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:26,819 --> 00:00:29,864 [♪ Mumbling ♪]
- 00:00:29,989 --> 00:00:31,449 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:31,574 --> 00:00:33,117 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:39,206 This is Shop Class.
- 00:00:39,331 --> 00:00:41,333 My name is Mr. Adler.
- 00:00:41,459 --> 00:00:43,502 For the next week, rather than your normal schoolwork,
- 00:00:43,627 --> 00:00:45,755 you will be learning how to make things.
- 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,799 Now, does anybody know why you are in Shop Class?
- 00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:50,509 Yes?
- 00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:51,844 'Cause we had to choose between this and Home Ec
- 00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:52,970 and we didn't want to be sissies?
- 00:00:53,095 --> 00:00:54,972 Wrong!
- 00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:56,849 You are here, because you are America's future.
- 00:00:56,974 --> 00:01:00,019 You may someday be doctors or lawyers or scientists...
- 00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:01,771 Most of you, however,
- 00:01:01,896 --> 00:01:03,522 will be pumping gas or cutting sheet metal.
- 00:01:03,647 --> 00:01:05,816 And that's why we have... Shop Class.
- 00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:07,985 Ohhh.
- 00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:10,696 Now let me make one thing crystal clear...
- 00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:12,615 I don't like kids that screw around.
- 00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:14,533 You screw around in Shop Class...
- 00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:16,410 You can lose a hand or an eye.
- 00:01:16,535 --> 00:01:17,787 I have...
- 00:01:17,912 --> 00:01:20,956 I have... I have...
- 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:24,168 Mr. Adler? - Huh?!
- 00:01:24,293 --> 00:01:26,504 Oh, uh... I was just saying that I want to know
- 00:01:26,629 --> 00:01:29,840 who is the biggest troublemaker in your class?
- 00:01:29,965 --> 00:01:31,717 Tweek is! - Agh, no I'm not!
- 00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:32,551 Yeah you are Tweek, you always get in trouble.
- 00:01:32,635 --> 00:01:33,552 Agh!
- 00:01:33,677 --> 00:01:35,096 Uh, hello excuse me,
- 00:01:35,221 --> 00:01:36,430 but Craig is the biggest troublemaker in our class.
- 00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:39,892 That true, Craig? You a troublemaker?
- 00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:42,728 No. - Well, you better not be, because in Shop Class--
- 00:01:42,853 --> 00:01:44,563 Hey! Did you just flip me off?
- 00:01:44,688 --> 00:01:46,148 No. - Yes, you did!
- 00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:47,983 Told ya! - Dude, Shop Class sucks.
- 00:01:48,109 --> 00:01:49,401 Maybe we should've taken Home Ec.
- 00:01:49,527 --> 00:01:50,903 No way, dude, Home Ec is for girls!
- 00:01:51,028 --> 00:01:52,988 Welcome to Home Ec.
- 00:01:53,114 --> 00:01:55,950 For the next week, you will be learning how to bake, sew,
- 00:01:56,075 --> 00:01:58,911 clean and make things that are lacy and pretty.
- 00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:01,122 Woo-hoo! - Yes, Wendy?
- 00:02:01,247 --> 00:02:03,207 I requested to be in Shop Class but they sent me here.
- 00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:04,875 That's right, Wendy.
- 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,627 You see, some of you girls will go on to have
- 00:02:06,752 --> 00:02:08,337 interesting jobs and careers.
- 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:11,048 But all of you pretty ones won't have to worry about that,
- 00:02:11,173 --> 00:02:13,175 because you can marry a nice man.
- 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:15,261 And that's why we have Home Ec!
- 00:02:15,386 --> 00:02:17,763 Woo-hoo!
- 00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:22,309 I wonder why Kenny didn't want to take Shop Class?
- 00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:23,519 I don't know, he's such a wuss!
- 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,104 Hey, don't screw around.
- 00:02:25,229 --> 00:02:27,398 You screw around too much.
- 00:02:27,523 --> 00:02:29,525 Y'know you guys are totally wrong about Tweek.
- 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:30,734 Craig is way worse than he is.
- 00:02:33,404 --> 00:02:34,655 No he's not dude, Craig is a wuss.
- 00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:36,073 Dude, if Craig and Tweek got in a fight,
- 00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:37,741 Craig would kick Tweek's ass.
- 00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:38,951 You wanna bet? - Yeah, I'll bet!
- 00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:40,244 How much? - Five bucks.
- 00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:42,413 You're on! - Agh!
- 00:02:42,538 --> 00:02:43,622 Hey, Tweek. - Agh!
- 00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:45,291 Dude, Craig chooses you, he wants to fight.
- 00:02:45,416 --> 00:02:47,126 He does? - Yeah, he's all pissed off at you.
- 00:02:47,251 --> 00:02:48,043 So will you fight him? - Why?
- 00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:49,503 Dude, because.
- 00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:50,462 You have to stand up for yourself.
- 00:02:50,588 --> 00:02:52,590 So will you fight him?
- 00:02:52,715 --> 00:02:54,508 Agh! He doesn't look like he wants to fight me.
- 00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:56,177 Craig, can I talk to you real quick?
- 00:02:56,302 --> 00:02:58,470 Just for a second, please.
- 00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:01,140 Craig, I'm not normally one to get involved in this kind of thing but...
- 00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:02,808 Well, I was just standing over by Tweek,
- 00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,768 and he called you a big poopeater.
- 00:03:04,894 --> 00:03:06,854 He did?! - Yeah, he said you eat poop,
- 00:03:06,979 --> 00:03:08,480 and that it makes your breath smell like poop,
- 00:03:08,606 --> 00:03:10,524 and that, well, you like it.
- 00:03:10,649 --> 00:03:11,567 Why would he say that?!
- 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:12,776 I don't know, Craig, I don't know.
- 00:03:12,902 --> 00:03:14,195 But now he's over there telling everybody
- 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:15,905 that you're a poopeater and he chooses you.
- 00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:17,072 Well, I'm gonna go over there and--
- 00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:18,449 No, no, Craig, you can't fight him here,
- 00:03:18,574 --> 00:03:19,992 Mr. Adler will just break it up.
- 00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:21,535 Tell you what, I'll go tell him you accept his challenge,
- 00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:22,953 and set it up for after school today.
- 00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:24,914 Okay.
- 00:03:25,039 --> 00:03:26,624 There you see, he just flipped you off!
- 00:03:26,749 --> 00:03:27,791 Agh! What a jerk!
- 00:03:27,917 --> 00:03:28,792 He's really got it out for you, dude.
- 00:03:28,918 --> 00:03:30,419 Why?! What did I do?!
- 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:31,754 So do you agree to fight him after school?
- 00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:34,089 I guess so. - Super, see ya there!
- 00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:42,181 [echoing] Catch me, Richard!
- 00:03:42,306 --> 00:03:43,807 Ha ha ha ha...
- 00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:47,645 I'm so in love with you, Richard.
- 00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:51,315 I made you some cookies, Richard!
- 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:54,068 [sniffffff]
- 00:03:54,193 --> 00:03:55,569 Merry Christmas, Richard.
- 00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:57,571 Ha ha ha, oh, Richard...
- 00:03:57,696 --> 00:03:59,990 Say we'll be this happy forever.
- 00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:02,201 Ahhhhh!
- 00:04:02,326 --> 00:04:03,619 Richard!
- 00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:06,038 Arhhh!
- 00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:11,543 [chewing] Oh, why... why?!
- 00:04:11,669 --> 00:04:13,629 Mr. Adler! Mr. Adler?!
- 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:14,797 Huh?!
- 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,006 Stop screwin' around!
- 00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:16,966 The bell rang, can we go?
- 00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:18,676 Oh, well, sure.
- 00:04:18,801 --> 00:04:20,344 Uh, class dismissed.
- 00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:21,929 Come on, you guys!
- 00:04:23,889 --> 00:04:25,474 This is gonna be sweet, dude!
- 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:26,976 You guys are so wrong about Tweek.
- 00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:27,810 He's gonna get his ass kicked.
- 00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:29,311 We'll see.
- 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:30,771 Why don't we just raise our bet to $10.
- 00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:32,147 You're on, fat ass.
- 00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:33,482 Well, well, well, look who's here.
- 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,109 Our little Home Economics friend, Kenny.
- 00:04:35,234 --> 00:04:36,402 Mph rm rmph rm rmph rm.
- 00:04:36,527 --> 00:04:37,569 How come you wanna take Home Ec, Kenny?
- 00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:39,530 Yeah, that's not cool, dude.
- 00:04:39,655 --> 00:04:40,948 Bye, Kenny! See ya tomorrow!
- 00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:42,700 Hey, what's going on?
- 00:04:42,825 --> 00:04:43,867 Tweek and Craig are gonna fight.
- 00:04:43,993 --> 00:04:45,619 Really? Cool!
- 00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:48,956 It's funny, cuz Tweek and Craig both went home
- 00:04:49,081 --> 00:04:50,207 about 15 minutes ago.
- 00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:51,709 What!? - Yeah, they left.
- 00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:52,793 Aw, hell!
- 00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:53,961 Those sons-a-bitches!
- 00:04:54,086 --> 00:04:54,795 I guess they don't want to fight.
- 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:55,963 Oh, they want to fight!
- 00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:57,172 They just don't know it yet!
- 00:04:58,424 --> 00:04:59,717 [doorbell]
- 00:04:59,842 --> 00:05:02,219 Tweek! - Tweek!
- 00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:03,721 Agh! What do you guys want?
- 00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:05,222 How come you didn't show up to the fight, Tweek?
- 00:05:05,347 --> 00:05:07,725 Craig and I have no reason to fight each other!
- 00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:08,809 Well, Craig showed up.
- 00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:10,185 He did?
- 00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:11,395 Yeah, he was standing there waiting for you.
- 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:12,604 And he was all like, "man, Tweek's a wuss"
- 00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:14,398 and we were all like, "no he's not, Craig"
- 00:05:14,523 --> 00:05:16,025 and he was all like, "yeah he is, he isn't showing up,
- 00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:17,318 he's a big wuss and he has crooked teeth."
- 00:05:17,443 --> 00:05:19,236 I don't have crooked teeth.
- 00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:20,612 And then Craig was all like, "Tweek is scared of me!
- 00:05:20,738 --> 00:05:22,698 He's a big chicken!"
- 00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,700 And he started doing an impersonation of you being a chicken...
- 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:25,868 And everybody in the world saw it.
- 00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,494 Everyone in the world?! Agh!
- 00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:28,537 Yeah, it was weak.
- 00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,039 I'm not a chicken!
- 00:05:30,164 --> 00:05:31,123 Well everyone in the world thinks you are.
- 00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:32,541 See ya, Tweek. - Wait! I'll fight!
- 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,293 Tomorrow? - Okay.
- 00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:37,671 [knocking]
- 00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,590 Craig, what the hell are you doing home?
- 00:05:39,715 --> 00:05:40,466 You're supposed to be out fighting Tweek.
- 00:05:40,591 --> 00:05:42,509 <i>Red Racer's</i> on.
- 00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:43,844 Craig, you can watch <i>Red Racer</i> any day of the week.
- 00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:45,471 I <i>do</i> watch <i>Red Racer</i> every day of the week!
- 00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:47,639 Well, that's fine.
- 00:05:47,765 --> 00:05:48,932 I guess you don't care about what Tweek said about your mom.
- 00:05:49,058 --> 00:05:50,225 Nope.
- 00:05:50,351 --> 00:05:51,852 Goddammit...
- 00:05:51,977 --> 00:05:53,812 [knocking]
- 00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:55,647 I guess you don't care what Tweek said about your guinea pig.
- 00:05:55,773 --> 00:05:57,107 What?!
- 00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:59,026 What did he say about Stripe?!
- 00:05:59,151 --> 00:06:00,903 Oh nothing, except that you stick it up your ass before you go to bed.
- 00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:02,529 That son-of-a-bitch I'll kill him!!
- 00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:04,448 Yeah, I'd be pissed, too.
- 00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:05,282 So maybe we should reschedule the fight for tomorrow?
- 00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:06,492 After <i>Red Racer!</i>
- 00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:07,785 After <i>Red Racer,</i> of course.
- 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:10,329 How was school today, son?
- 00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:11,580 Agh!!
- 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,040 That's great.
- 00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:14,291 Dad, if some kid at school wants to fight me...
- 00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:15,834 What should I do?
- 00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:18,128 Son, let me tell you a little story
- 00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:20,631 about when your mother and I first met...
- 00:06:20,756 --> 00:06:22,466 You see, a long time ago
- 00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:23,842 there were a lot of guys who were after your mother,
- 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,427 she used to be very attractive.
- 00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,012 It's true, I was.
- 00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:29,264 Well, when I started courting your mother,
- 00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:32,893 there was this big muscular football player named "Quib"
- 00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:34,937 who didn't take too kindly to me.
- 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,314 He wanted your mother all to himself.
- 00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:41,360 And so, one day, he challenged me to a fight.
- 00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:50,369 Well?! - Well what, honey?
- 00:06:50,494 --> 00:06:51,995 Agh!! What happened?
- 00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:53,997 Oh, I don't know, he moved away or something.
- 00:06:54,123 --> 00:06:55,082 Yes, I think that's right.
- 00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:56,792 Aghagh!! You guys never help me!
- 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,877 Your stories never go anywhere, I hate it.
- 00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:01,505 I want out, I want out!
- 00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:03,924 Dad, I'm supposed to get in a fight tomorrow.
- 00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,384 With who? - Some kid.
- 00:07:05,509 --> 00:07:06,802 Oh.
- 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:07,845 Don't just "oh" him, Thomas!
- 00:07:07,970 --> 00:07:09,054 Yeah, don't just "oh" me.
- 00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:11,765 I'll "oh" whoever I want!
- 00:07:17,646 --> 00:07:19,148 Well, that was fun, Pearl.
- 00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:20,774 See ya later.
- 00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:22,067 Richard, aren't you going to invite me in?
- 00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:23,360 Why?
- 00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:24,820 Well, I thought maybe you would
- 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:26,864 at least <i>attempt</i> to make love to me tonight.
- 00:07:26,989 --> 00:07:30,534 Oh well, I... I can't. I left the oven on.
- 00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:33,787 Oh, Richard, why can't you open your heart to me, why?
- 00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:35,289 I just... I can't!
- 00:07:35,414 --> 00:07:38,000 I... Oh, I know, I have genital warts.
- 00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:39,418 We'll use plastic wrap.
- 00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,378 Nope, sorry, maybe some other time.
- 00:07:49,178 --> 00:07:53,015 [echoing] Swing me, Richard, swing me higher!
- 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,100 I want to touch the sky, Richard!
- 00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:57,519 Richard, I'm here...
- 00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,354 Just now.
- 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:03,275 Oh, Richard, it's beautiful!
- 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,027 Yes, yes.
- 00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:08,780 But you have to come see me fly tomorrow, Richard.
- 00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:10,616 I have a surprise for you.
- 00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:13,744 Don't worry Richard, I'm a pilot.
- 00:08:13,869 --> 00:08:15,412 It's what I do.
- 00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:17,706 Aaaghgh!
- 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,249 Richard!
- 00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:21,668 Richard.
- 00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:23,545 Aaaghggh!
- 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,923 [munching]
- 00:08:26,048 --> 00:08:30,677 Oh god... What am I going to do?
- 00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:37,643 Okay, so, just to set the record straight here,
- 00:08:37,768 --> 00:08:40,771 the fight will be happening, out by the tetherball pole at 3:30.
- 00:08:40,896 --> 00:08:43,148 Tweek just weighed in at 48 pounds, Craig at 45.
- 00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:44,775 Uh, how long do you expect the fight to last?
- 00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:46,944 How ever long Craig wants it to last.
- 00:08:47,069 --> 00:08:47,903 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
- 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,863 Make no mistake.
- 00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:51,698 Craig has been ready for this fight since day one.
- 00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:53,116 He doesn't even view it as a challenge.
- 00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:54,451 He'll view it as a challenge
- 00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:55,911 when he's getting his ass kicked!
- 00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,204 Did you hear that-- it sounds like diarrhea
- 00:08:57,329 --> 00:08:58,413 coming out of someone's mouth or something.
- 00:08:58,539 --> 00:08:59,790 Shut up, fat ass!
- 00:08:59,915 --> 00:09:00,791 Don't call me fat you son-of-a-bitch!
- 00:09:00,916 --> 00:09:02,417 [punching and yelling]
- 00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,301 Wow, Tweek and Craig really hate each other, huh?
- 00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:12,886 This should be a good fight.
- 00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:15,222 On your first date, look at the man's shoes.
- 00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:17,099 Sometimes you can tell how much money a man has
- 00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:18,600 just by his shoes.
- 00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,686 When he takes you out to dinner,
- 00:09:20,811 --> 00:09:23,021 try to sneak a peek at his wallet while he pays for you.
- 00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:25,816 If he only has <i>one</i> credit card, beware.
- 00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:27,818 It means he doesn't spend a lot,
- 00:09:27,943 --> 00:09:29,861 and worse yet, it could be a debit card.
- 00:09:29,987 --> 00:09:31,530 If he has more than four credit cards,
- 00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:33,073 that's a little fishy.
- 00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:34,324 The perfect number of credit cards
- 00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:36,201 for a man to have is... two.
- 00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:37,995 Yes, Bebe.
- 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:39,580 What if we meet a guy
- 00:09:39,705 --> 00:09:40,581 who wants to be a doctor or a lawyer,
- 00:09:40,706 --> 00:09:42,291 but is still getting his degree?
- 00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:44,543 Dump that zero and get yourself a hero.
- 00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:47,296 He could earning that degree all his life
- 00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:48,839 while you starve to death
- 00:09:48,964 --> 00:09:51,675 with two dying babies sucking at your teets.
- 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,680 When I have you guys' ten bucks, I'm gonna use it to buy
- 00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:58,515 the sweetest big-screen TV in the world.
- 00:09:58,640 --> 00:09:59,266 That's more than ten bucks,
- 00:09:59,391 --> 00:10:00,767 you stupid fat ass.
- 00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:01,810 Well, if I get ten bucks from each of you,
- 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,437 that's like $2,000.
- 00:10:03,562 --> 00:10:04,980 Hey, quit screwing around back there!
- 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,190 You're horsin'!
- 00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:09,359 [echoing] Richard...
- 00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:12,571 [whistling nonchalantly]
- 00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:14,823 [echoing] Richard...
- 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,826 [whispering voice] If you build it...
- 00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:23,498 Swing me, Richard, swing me higher!
- 00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:25,375 Richard, I'm here...
- 00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:26,960 Oh Richard, it's beautiful.
- 00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:28,920 Yes.
- 00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:30,047 But you have to come see me fly tomorrow, Richard.
- 00:10:30,172 --> 00:10:31,965 I have a surprise for you.
- 00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:35,177 Don't worry, Richard, I'm a pilot.
- 00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:39,473 It's all for you.
- 00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:40,807 [engine sputters]
- 00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:44,519 Aaaghgh!
- 00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:46,480 Richard!
- 00:10:46,605 --> 00:10:47,481 Mr. Adler?!
- 00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:48,482 Mr. Adler!!
- 00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:50,067 Huh, what?
- 00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:51,401 Tommy stuck his face in the belt sander.
- 00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:53,570 The belt sander?
- 00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:56,490 Tommy, I told you not to screw around
- 00:10:56,615 --> 00:10:57,783 with the belt sander, didn't I?
- 00:10:57,908 --> 00:11:00,786 Well, go on, go see the nurse.
- 00:11:00,911 --> 00:11:02,204 She'll give you some peroxide.
- 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:03,330 What's that?
- 00:11:03,455 --> 00:11:05,123 Huh?!
- 00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:06,958 This is a woman that I knew a long time ago.
- 00:11:07,084 --> 00:11:08,126 What'd she die or something?
- 00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:09,836 Wha--hey! Go on!
- 00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:12,589 You're screwin' around in here!
- 00:11:14,549 --> 00:11:15,592 Oh boy, here we go!
- 00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:17,636 What's happening?
- 00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:18,553 Tweek's gonna fight Craig.
- 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:20,597 Oh, cool!
- 00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:23,225 Stay pissed, Tweek, stay pissed.
- 00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:24,893 Alright, here we go!
- 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,478 Time for you to get proven wrong, fat boy.
- 00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,105 You're gonna be eating those words, asshole.
- 00:11:28,230 --> 00:11:30,732 No I won't because you'd eat 'em first, tubby.
- 00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:33,985 Well?
- 00:11:34,111 --> 00:11:35,779 Come on!
- 00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:38,365 Yeah, if you're gonna do it, do it!
- 00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:39,282 What do we do?
- 00:11:39,408 --> 00:11:40,951 Huh?
- 00:11:41,076 --> 00:11:41,702 What do you mean, just fight each other!
- 00:11:41,827 --> 00:11:44,037 How? - How?!
- 00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:45,330 I've never been in a fight before. - Me neither!
- 00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:46,456 [all] Aww!
- 00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:48,041 Aw, dude, come on!
- 00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:49,167 You just hit each other, smack each other around!
- 00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:50,419 [shove]
- 00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:51,545 [tap]
- 00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:53,088 Not like <i>that</i>!
- 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:54,464 Like what then?
- 00:11:54,589 --> 00:11:55,632 Alright, alright, screw this--
- 00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:57,008 We'll have to postpone the fight
- 00:11:57,134 --> 00:11:57,926 so Tweek and Craig can learn how to fight.
- 00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,094 [all] Aww!
- 00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:00,470 All that build-up for nothing!
- 00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:01,972 Yeah, Christ, I could've been home by now!
- 00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:03,056 Alright Tweek, we'll teach you how to fight
- 00:12:03,181 --> 00:12:04,391 and Cartman, you teach Craig.
- 00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:05,684 I don't think that's very fair.
- 00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:07,060 If I teach Craig, he's gonna really kill Tweek.
- 00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:08,145 Oh, yeah? Well, I'm gonna have my Uncle Jimbo
- 00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:09,479 teach Tweek how to box!
- 00:12:09,604 --> 00:12:12,023 Oooh, boxing, scary, you guys!
- 00:12:12,149 --> 00:12:13,942 I'm gonna have Craig learn martial arts!
- 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,402 Fine, we'll see you back here tomorrow!
- 00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:16,820 Fine! - Fine!
- 00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,697 Fine, that's fine.
- 00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:20,282 Alrighty, Tweek.
- 00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:21,450 My little nephew Stanley has asked me
- 00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:22,868 to teach you the fine points of boxing!
- 00:12:22,993 --> 00:12:23,869 Agh!
- 00:12:23,994 --> 00:12:25,245 You're in luck.
- 00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:26,288 Ned here used to be the state champion
- 00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:27,789 until a grenade blew his arm off.
- 00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,499 [voice box] I can still kick ass.
- 00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:32,085 Now, Tweek... Boxing is a man sport.
- 00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:34,588 There is nothing in the world more man, than boxing.
- 00:12:34,713 --> 00:12:36,757 It is man at his most man.
- 00:12:36,882 --> 00:12:38,592 So when you spar with Ned, here,
- 00:12:38,717 --> 00:12:40,927 just dig deep into that most man part of you.
- 00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:42,596 Wah!
- 00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:43,805 Well enough of the lectures!
- 00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:44,848 Let's get to boxing!
- 00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:45,849 [ding]
- 00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:47,893 Agh!
- 00:12:48,018 --> 00:12:49,603 What you got, bi-atch?
- 00:12:49,728 --> 00:12:52,147 Keep your guard up, Tweek!
- 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,442 Aah! - Damnit!
- 00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:56,902 Come on, Tweek he's only got one arm!
- 00:12:57,027 --> 00:12:58,320 Alright, it looks like we'll have to apply
- 00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:00,530 the <i>Oppenheimer technique</i> with Tweek, here...
- 00:13:00,655 --> 00:13:02,574 What you got, bi-atch?
- 00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:06,036 Punch him in the balls, Tweek!
- 00:13:06,161 --> 00:13:07,370 Atta boy! Now quick,
- 00:13:07,496 --> 00:13:08,580 get him again while he's down!
- 00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:10,707 Owwwwww!!
- 00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:14,044 Good, now kick his balls!
- 00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:17,005 There see?!
- 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,256 You got him coughing up blood!
- 00:13:18,381 --> 00:13:19,257 Hooray!
- 00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:20,383 Agh!
- 00:13:20,509 --> 00:13:22,344 Now <i>that's</i> boxing!
- 00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:26,515 Your friend has brought you to learn the ancient art of sumo.
- 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,975 You must learn the discipline and respect.
- 00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:32,854 In sumo, your body must be like a stone,
- 00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,523 and your mind like a meatloaf.
- 00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,483 Meatloaf?
- 00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:38,777 The object is simply to push opponent out of circle.
- 00:13:38,902 --> 00:13:40,111 Is opponent ready?
- 00:13:40,237 --> 00:13:41,696 I'm ready.
- 00:13:41,822 --> 00:13:45,408 Yeah, I like this hair thing, this is cool.
- 00:13:45,534 --> 00:13:47,077 Let us begin.
- 00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:50,539 Ready... and... begin!
- 00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:52,749 Respect my authority!
- 00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:54,376 Body like stone!
- 00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:56,127 Mind like meatloaf!
- 00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:57,754 Ooh, come on, na!
- 00:13:57,879 --> 00:13:58,839 Oh, Jesus, I can't take it!
- 00:13:58,964 --> 00:14:00,173 Aagh!
- 00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:01,675 Fight back, resist the ass!
- 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,552 How can I resist an ass so great?!
- 00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:05,053 It is only an ass!
- 00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,639 You must overcome the ass with your mind!
- 00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:09,558 This ass is unlike any I have encountered, master--
- 00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:12,435 I win!
- 00:14:12,561 --> 00:14:14,271 There is indeed great power in your ass, Eric.
- 00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:16,565 Perhaps you should consider sumo as a profession.
- 00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:18,441 Hey, maybe!
- 00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:23,989 No... no... make it stop...
- 00:14:24,114 --> 00:14:27,242 [echoing] Oh Richard, say we'll be this happy forever!
- 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,494 But you have to come see me fly tomorrow, Richard.
- 00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:31,079 I have a surprise for you.
- 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:34,708 Don't worry, Richard, I'm a pilot.
- 00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:37,627 Watch me, Richard!
- 00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:40,797 [alarm]
- 00:14:40,922 --> 00:14:42,090 [engine stalls]
- 00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:45,635 Aaahhh!!
- 00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:52,309 Richard!
- 00:14:52,434 --> 00:14:54,394 Arggghh!
- 00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:57,355 I never got to say goodbye.
- 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,900 I never got to say goodbye!
- 00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:01,443 Oh, no!
- 00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:04,029 Oh no, now what do I do?!
- 00:15:04,154 --> 00:15:05,405 [sobbing]
- 00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:12,037 Okay... that was very good, class.
- 00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:14,080 Now let's try this one together:
- 00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:16,541 "Honey, can I get a new wardrobe?"
- 00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:18,543 [all] Honey, can I get a new wardrobe?
- 00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,712 Alright, now let's try this one together
- 00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:22,255 "Lisa Smith's husband
- 00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:24,299 just bought <i>her</i> a new car..."
- 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,051 [all] Lisa Smith's husband just bought <i>her</i> a new car...
- 00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:28,094 Good, Bebe, why don't you try this one:
- 00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:31,640 "I think a trip to Hawaii would really improve our sex life."
- 00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:32,974 I think a trip to Hawaii
- 00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,017 would really improve our sex life.
- 00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:35,894 Outstanding, now... Kenny.
- 00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:37,687 How about you try:
- 00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:40,774 "I can't make love to you until we get a king-size bed."
- 00:15:40,899 --> 00:15:44,486 [mumbling] Mph rmph rm rmphrmphm... rmph rm rmph rm rm rmph.
- 00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:50,075 Okay... Kenny, could I talk to you over here real quick?
- 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,035 Mph rm.
- 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:55,747 Kenny, I don't quite know how to tell you this, but...
- 00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:57,958 I'm not sure Home Economics is right for you.
- 00:15:58,083 --> 00:15:59,459 Mph?
- 00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:01,086 Well, your cooking is unsatisfactory
- 00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:03,380 your sewing skills are below average and...
- 00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:05,298 frankly, I don't think the odds of you
- 00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:08,760 marrying a nice, rich man in the future are very, well...
- 00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:10,178 good.
- 00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,763 Mph mm?
- 00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:13,390 No, I think you should consider transferring to Shop Class.
- 00:16:13,515 --> 00:16:15,475 Mph rm!
- 00:16:19,062 --> 00:16:23,400 Now, now, very few students are severely injured in Shop Class.
- 00:16:23,525 --> 00:16:24,734 Mph rmph rm rmph rm rmph rmph!!
- 00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:26,361 [bell rings]
- 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,196 C'mon, it's time for the fight! - Yeah!
- 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:32,617 Fight? Oh no, no, no, girls! Haven't I taught you anything?!
- 00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:34,786 [all shouting]
- 00:16:36,788 --> 00:16:38,623 Okay, the time has finally come!
- 00:16:38,748 --> 00:16:42,210 Programs, get your programs here, programs!
- 00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:44,379 Remember, Tweek, punch hard, punch low.
- 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:46,214 Agh! - This is when you gotta get mean, Tweek!
- 00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:47,924 Agh, mean, agh!!
- 00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:49,801 The spirit of the dragon is in your hands.
- 00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:51,094 [mimicking Chinese]
- 00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:53,013 Alright? - Okay.
- 00:16:53,138 --> 00:16:54,014 Now listen to me!
- 00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:55,306 [more mimicking]
- 00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:56,808 Alright, and seriously!
- 00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:58,351 Per shang der pong quang chong!
- 00:16:58,476 --> 00:16:59,936 Okay, okay!
- 00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:04,941 Argh!
- 00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:07,444 [neck cracking]
- 00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:12,157 You ready, Tweek?
- 00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:13,408 You ready, Craig?
- 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,035 Let's get it on!
- 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:16,369 Respect my authority.
- 00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:20,540 Come on, Tweek!
- 00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:23,084 Come on, Craig!
- 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,670 "To Whom it May Concern,
- 00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:27,672 "I can no longer live without her.
- 00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:29,632 "I could not say goodbye to her,
- 00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:32,385 "and so now I must say goodbye to all of you!
- 00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:34,846 "for I am all out of nicotine gum.
- 00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:38,391 "Sincerely yours, Richard Adler... Shop Class.
- 00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:40,435 "P.S. Don't screw around.
- 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:44,022 You all screw around too much."
- 00:17:46,649 --> 00:17:48,276 [saw whirring]
- 00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:52,197 Goodbye, cruel world.
- 00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:55,867 Jesus Christ!!
- 00:17:55,992 --> 00:17:57,494 What was I thinking?!
- 00:17:57,619 --> 00:17:59,245 That would'a hurt like hell!
- 00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:00,705 [kids cheering]
- 00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:10,465 Yeah Craig, c'mon, kick his ass!
- 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:14,719 Come on, Tweek, you got him!
- 00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:16,137 Whoa, Tweek, did you hear that?!
- 00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:17,639 What?! - Craig just called you a boner!
- 00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,474 Agh!
- 00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:20,558 We just have to keep throwing gas on the fire.
- 00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:21,559 Yeah.
- 00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:23,812 [sighs]
- 00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:25,855 Mph rmphm rm?
- 00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:27,107 What?
- 00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:29,067 Who are you?
- 00:18:29,192 --> 00:18:32,278 "Kenny McCormick has been transferred from Home Ec. to Shop Class"
- 00:18:32,403 --> 00:18:34,280 Well, alright, get some safety goggles
- 00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:37,033 and start getting acquainted with the jigsaw over there.
- 00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:53,716 [crash]
- 00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:54,759 What the--
- 00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:56,136 Here they are!
- 00:18:56,261 --> 00:18:57,554 Hey, what's going on?!
- 00:18:57,679 --> 00:18:58,805 Tweek and Craig are fighting.
- 00:18:58,930 --> 00:19:00,473 We're just watching.
- 00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:01,808 Well, why the hell don't you stop them!?
- 00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:05,728 'Cause we have ten bucks riding on it!
- 00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:07,689 Don't screw around!
- 00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:11,276 Stop screwing around!
- 00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:14,946 Hey, you're screwing around too much!
- 00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:16,614 Arghh!
- 00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:20,160 Oh my God, they killed Kenny!
- 00:19:20,285 --> 00:19:21,578 You bastards!
- 00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:22,662 Well don't just stand there!
- 00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:24,747 Call an ambulance!
- 00:19:24,873 --> 00:19:26,875 You see-- You see what happens
- 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,543 when you screw around in Shop Class?
- 00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:29,919 Mph rm...
- 00:19:30,044 --> 00:19:31,504 What? What's that, son?
- 00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:33,173 [echoing] Richard...
- 00:19:33,298 --> 00:19:34,424 Aghhh!
- 00:19:34,549 --> 00:19:37,135 No, no, please don't go!
- 00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:38,553 I need you!
- 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:39,554 I can't live without you!
- 00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:42,432 Richard, you have to move on.
- 00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:43,349 I want you to be happy.
- 00:19:43,474 --> 00:19:44,767 But I can't!
- 00:19:44,893 --> 00:19:47,395 I never got to say goodbye.
- 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,397 Then say it now, Richard.
- 00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,441 Goodbye.
- 00:19:51,566 --> 00:19:53,902 There, now do you feel better?
- 00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:55,445 No.
- 00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:56,863 Of course you don't.
- 00:19:56,988 --> 00:20:00,074 Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything.
- 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,702 It's the time we spent together that really matters
- 00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:04,829 not how we left it.
- 00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:06,247 You--you're right.
- 00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:07,081 You're right!
- 00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:08,249 Richard!
- 00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:09,292 It's grandma.
- 00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:10,293 Grandma?!
- 00:20:10,418 --> 00:20:11,961 Hi, gram!
- 00:20:12,086 --> 00:20:13,588 You never said goodbye to me, either.
- 00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,131 Hey, Richie, remember me?
- 00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:16,674 Uncle Corey!
- 00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:18,343 Wow, you're all alive again.
- 00:20:18,468 --> 00:20:20,428 No, we're dead.
- 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:21,888 I love you, Richard.
- 00:20:22,013 --> 00:20:23,139 See you soon.
- 00:20:23,264 --> 00:20:24,432 Thank you!
- 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:25,934 Thank you for freeing me!
- 00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:27,185 I feel like now I can move on!
- 00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:28,895 Baby, I feel so much better!
- 00:20:29,020 --> 00:20:30,313 I feel so alive!
- 00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:31,898 Thank you, baby, thank you!
- 00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:34,025 Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here.
- 00:20:38,655 --> 00:20:40,198 Hi, we're here to visit our good friends Tweek and Craig.
- 00:20:40,323 --> 00:20:41,950 Oh, well, I suppose a quick visit is okay.
- 00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:44,410 Maybe you kids can cheer them up.
- 00:20:46,287 --> 00:20:47,747 Hey guys, how are you feeling?
- 00:20:47,872 --> 00:20:49,916 Agh! - Ugh!
- 00:20:50,041 --> 00:20:51,042 Well, uh, we just came by because we have something to tell you.
- 00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:53,127 Yeah... see, we got you to fight
- 00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:54,587 just 'cause we wanted to see who was the toughest.
- 00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:56,256 We made up all that stuff we said
- 00:20:56,381 --> 00:20:58,007 to get you guys mad at each other.
- 00:20:58,132 --> 00:20:59,717 Yes, you can flip us off, Craig.
- 00:20:59,842 --> 00:21:00,969 We deserve that.
- 00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:02,553 We just came by to apologize.
- 00:21:02,679 --> 00:21:03,554 We feel so bad.
- 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:04,847 Boy, do we ever.
- 00:21:04,973 --> 00:21:07,100 So I guess we'll be going now.
- 00:21:07,225 --> 00:21:08,601 And we'll just live with the knowledge that
- 00:21:08,726 --> 00:21:09,644 you're both kind of sissies.
- 00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:11,354 What!? - What!?
- 00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:12,355 Well, I mean, that's what was on the news.
- 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:13,356 What was on the news?
- 00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:14,440 Oh, you didn't see it?
- 00:21:14,565 --> 00:21:15,566 Tweek's family was on the news
- 00:21:15,692 --> 00:21:16,609 saying what a wuss you are, Craig.
- 00:21:16,734 --> 00:21:18,236 Huh?!
- 00:21:18,361 --> 00:21:19,320 Yeah, and then Craig's family came on
- 00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:20,571 and said Tweek was the wuss,
- 00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:21,447 and then punched Tweek's mom in the hooters.
- 00:21:21,572 --> 00:21:22,532 Agh, you son-of-a-bitch!
- 00:21:22,657 --> 00:21:24,492 I'm gonna kick your ass!!
- 00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:26,828 Come on, Tweek you got him!
- 00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:29,330 Sumo technique, Craig, sumo technique!
Скриншоты
