Гномы

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♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪

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♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

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♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

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♪ Going down to South Park ♪

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♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪

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♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

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♪ People spouting

"howdy, neighbor"! ♪

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♪ Headed on up

to South Park ♪

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♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

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♪ Come on down

to South Park ♪

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♪ And meet some friends

of mine ♪

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Settle down, children.

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I have some difficult news.

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This is going to make

you all very sad.

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The school board is considering

firing me as your teacher.

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There's a possibility

that I'll be let go

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and never allowed

to teach you again.

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Yes, Stanley?

- That's okay with us.

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Yeah.

- Yeah, we don't care.

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No, it isn't,

it makes you very sad!

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Now, apparently,

the school board thinks

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that I don't teach you anything

about current events,

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so tomorrow they're gonna

have you do presentations

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for the whole board.

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"Current events in South Park."

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Now, I want you all

to read a newspaper,

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or, better yet,

watch television,

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and come up with something

current in South Park

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to do a report on.

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Now, this will be

a group project,

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so I'm gonna place you all

into groups of five.

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Let's see...

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Wendy, Bebe, Clyde,

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Pip, and Token,

you'll be group one.

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And group two will be

Stan, Kyle, Eric, Kenny, and...

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and Tweek.

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Ah!

- Oh, not Tweek.

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We don't want to be

in a group with Tweek.

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There's nothing wrong

with Tweek.

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I bet he'll do a great job

in your group.

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I can't take

that kind of pressure!

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No, sweet Jesus, please!

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Dude, we can't work

with this kid.

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That's what Chad Everett

thought

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when the new female intern

joined

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the cast of "Medical Center."

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He thought,

"Who is this woman

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with her gazungas

and high heels?

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What does she know

about medicine?"

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Well, that intern soon saved

Chad Everett's brother

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with a kidney transplant,

so you see?

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No.

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- Well, let me put it

another way.

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You have to give

your oral report

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to the entire South Park

town committee tomorrow,

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and if it doesn't kick ass

and you make me look bad,

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Mr. Hat is gonna

smack you bitches up.

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Wah!

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Hello there, customer.

- Hello, how are you today?

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Great,

what can I get for you?

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Large coffee? Small coffee?

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I'm actually interested

in something else.

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I'm John Postum

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from the Harbucks Coffee

corporation.

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Oh, you're that corporate guy

who's been calling.

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That's right.

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How come you don't

call me back?

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All we want to do is buy out

your coffee shop here.

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Oh, forget it,

my store is not for sale.

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My company is prepared to

make you a very generous offer.

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This is a Cramsonite briefcase.

All leather.

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It has four compartments

and a keyless lock.

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Interested?

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I don't think so.

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My coffee shop

is worth a lot to me.

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All right,

how about $500,000?

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The answer is still no,

Mr. Postum.

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You see, when my father opened

this store 30 years ago,

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he cared about only one thing--

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making a great cup of coffee.

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Sure, we may take

a little longer to brew a cup,

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and we may not

call it fancy names,

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but I guess we just care

a little more.

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And that's why Tweek coffee

is still homebrewed

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from the finest beans

we can muster.

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Yes, Tweek coffee

is a simpler coffee,

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for a simpler America.

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Well, that's too bad.

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We're just gonna

have to open our Harbucks

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right next door to you.

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But that could put me

out of business.

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Hey, this is

a capitalist country, pal.

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Get used to it.

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Hello, Mr. Tweek.

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- Hi, Officer Barbrady.

- Who was that?

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Oh, just some dong.

What can I get for you?

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The usual.

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Oh!

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Thanks, see you tomorrow.

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Bye-bye.

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Okay, we have to do

this stupid report, so--

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Ah!

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So let's figure out

what to do it about.

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How about we do it

on that Raymond guy on TV?

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You know,

everybody loves Raymond.

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No, Cartman, we can't do it

on Raymond again!

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It has to be on

a current event in South Park.

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Tweek, do you have any ideas?

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Ah! Too much pressure!

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Great.

A lot of help you are, kid.

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The gnomes!

- What?

00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:07,039

We can do our report

on the gnomes.

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What gnomes?

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The underpants gnomes,

the little guys that...

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that come in your room

late, late at night,

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and steal your underpants.

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Oh, so that's where

all my underpants go!

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- Dude, that's the dumbest

thing I've ever heard.

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- Yeah, I've never seen

any underpants gnomes.

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- They come out

at 3:30 in the morning.

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Most people aren't up then,

but I am.

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I can't sleep... ever.

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- We can't do a presentation

on underpants gnomes.

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Mr. Garrison will fail us

because you're making it up.

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- No,

sleep at my house tonight!

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I'll prove it to you.

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They want me

to sell the store,

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and it's so much money.

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Some things are more

important than money.

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The people of South Park

count on you

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to give them that first

cup of coffee every day.

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I know, but if they open

a Harbucks right next

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door, we might go out of business.

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They really have my balls

in a vice grip.

00:04:48,247 --> 00:04:50,249

Oh, hello, son.

How was your day?

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Ah!

- That's good.

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Who are your little friends?

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What do you mean?

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We're his

oral report buddies.

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Yeah, we have to stay up

all night to write it.

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Well, have some coffee, boys.

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I'll brew up

another pot for later.

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Coffee?

I don't think I like coffee.

00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,554

Oh, you'll like this coffee.

It's fresh.

00:05:03,679 --> 00:05:04,972

Country fresh,

00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:06,724

like the morning

after a rainstorm.

00:05:06,849 --> 00:05:08,142

Kay...

maybe it'll help us figure out

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what to do our report on.

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We have to present it

to the entire

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South Park town committee

tomorrow.

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- Oh, I've got one for you.

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How about doing a report

on how large corporations

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take over little

family-owned businesses?

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Richard!

- No, I'm serious, hon.

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These boys should learn

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how the corporate machine

is ruining America.

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You see, I own a coffee shop,

and now

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a great big

multimillion-dollar company

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is going to move in

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and try to take

all my business,

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which means

I may have to shut down

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and sell my son Tweek

into slavery.

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Ah! Slavery?

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Yes, slavery.

- Wow, that sucks, dude.

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They really have my balls

in a salad shooter.

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We're already doing a paper

on Tweek's underpants gnomes.

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Yeah.

- Now, Tweek.

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How many times

do we have to tell you?

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Your underpants are missing

because you lose them,

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not because of

underpants gnomes.

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Ah!

- Come on, you guys.

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We better get to work!

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Okay, but corporate takeovers

is a much more fertile subject.

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Honestly, Richard,

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I don't see why you have to

preach to some eight-year-olds.

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Actually, honey,

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I think those little tykes

are just what we need.

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I've got an idea.

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Man, this stuff is strong.

- It's kind of bitter.

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What if my parents

go out of business?

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What'll I do?

- Don't worry about it.

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But we'll starve

and die like dogs!

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Tweek, Tweek,

you can always go on welfare.

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Look at Kenny's family.

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They're perfectly happy

being poor

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and on welfare, right, Kenny?

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You suck, Kenny.

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Well, let's just try

to finish all this coffee

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so we can stay up.

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Whoo-hoo!

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- Yes! This stuff rocks!

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Totally, dude!

I feel awesome!

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Whoopee!

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You guys! You guys!

Seriously!

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Check me out!

I'm a sorcerer!

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Check it out, guys!

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Hey, Tweek, do you have

any more of this stuff?

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We just have grounds.

- Killer!

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Hey, let me have

some grounds!

00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:48,992

Gross, Cartman!

Whoopee!

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Oh, my stomach hurts.

00:06:53,789 --> 00:06:55,582

Yeah, mine too.

I wonder why.

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Well, it's 3:30,

and I don't see

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any Goddamn

underpants gnomes, Tweek.

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Ah!

Maybe it was all in my head!

00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:01,588

Maybe I'm going insane!

00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:03,215

Oh, no, I'm going insane!

00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:04,591

Well, this is just great.

00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:05,759

We haven't gotten

anything done,

00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:07,344

and we're totally screwed.

00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:08,929

How's the report going, boys?

- Bad.

00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:10,514

Oh, do you need

some more coffee?

00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:12,975

No... more... coffee.

00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,519

Well, boys,

I don't mean to pry, but,

00:07:15,644 --> 00:07:18,230

if you want it,

I wrote your report for you.

00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:19,898

You did?!

00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:21,358

Yes, it's all about

corporate takeovers.

00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:23,444

Of course,

you don't have to use it.

00:07:23,569 --> 00:07:24,987

No, we'll use it!

00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,113

All right,

and it can be our little secret

00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:27,114

about who wrote it, right?

00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:28,574

Sure!

00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:30,659

Now,

when you give the report,

00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,411

just make sure that you read

this part first, all right?

00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:35,164

There they are.

00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:37,124

And then

someone should do

00:07:37,249 --> 00:07:38,792

the second part

and really, really play it up.

00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:40,210

Really, really play

the sympathy angle.

00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:41,795

They'll like that.

00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,046

You'll probably get

a passing grade for that.

00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,717

You guys, look, look,

you're missing it!

00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:49,344

♪ We won't stop

until we have underpants ♪

00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:51,472

Ah, they took 'em again!

- Thanks, dude!

00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:53,140

My pleasure.

Good night, boys.

00:07:53,265 --> 00:07:54,975

Wow, Tweek, your dad rocks.

00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,268

Why do they torture me

like this?!

00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:58,020

Why can't they leave me alone?!

00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,396

Damn it, what the hell

is wrong with you, Tweek?

00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:00,981

They took my underpants

again.

00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:02,983

Soon they'll want my blood...

blood!

00:08:09,198 --> 00:08:11,950

"And as the voluminous

corporate automaton

00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:14,328

bulldozes its way

through bantam America..."

00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:16,079

"What will become

00:08:16,205 --> 00:08:19,041

of the endeavoring

American family?"

00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,001

I don't think

they wrote this, Mr. Hat.

00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:23,420

"Perhaps there is no stopping

the corporate machine."

00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:24,713

Ah!

00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,548

- And that's our report.

I guess.

00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:29,092

Well, boys, it's obvious

that you didn't even--

00:08:29,218 --> 00:08:31,470

Great job!

- Yes, great job.

00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:33,180

Boys, you have really

opened our eyes.

00:08:33,305 --> 00:08:35,474

We didn't even know

this was happening.

00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:37,017

Neither did we.

00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:38,060

Well, Mr. Garrison,

it looks like

00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:39,811

we were wrong about you.

00:08:39,937 --> 00:08:41,480

You really are teaching

these kids something.

00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:42,940

Yeah, well,

I don't want to sound

00:08:43,065 --> 00:08:44,399

like a dick hole,

but I told you so.

00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:45,901

I am really moved.

00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,986

I say we follow

these boys' cause.

00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:51,031

Let's join them in the fight

against corporate takeovers!

00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:52,741

Lead the way, boys!

00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,576

Huh?

- Ah, too much pressure!

00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,789

- Good! Good!

00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:01,959

Now, make sure that sign is

really bright and flashy, now!

00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:04,795

- My goodness, that's going to

be a huge coffeehouse, honey.

00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:06,380

- Yes, it is.

00:09:06,505 --> 00:09:08,215

They really have my balls

in a juicemaker.

00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:10,676

Oh, hello, son.

Uh, how did your report go?

00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:12,219

Wah!

- I think it went really good.

00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:13,637

Those people

really got into it.

00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,639

Really?

00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:17,182

Well, son, you might have

just saved the family business.

00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:18,809

What do you have to say

about that?

00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,811

I need coffee!

- I know how you boys feel.

00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:23,522

Sometimes a hot cup

of French roast amaretto

00:09:23,647 --> 00:09:25,399

is just what a man needs

to get him through the day.

00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:27,025

That smooth aroma

and mild taste

00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:30,028

is what makes Tweek coffee

so very special,

00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:33,407

special like an Arizona sunrise

or a juniper wet with dew,

00:09:33,532 --> 00:09:35,033

a light rain in the middle

of a dusty afternoon

00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:36,368

or a hug

from your dear old auntie--

00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:37,869

Dad!

- What?

00:09:37,995 --> 00:09:39,538

The metaphors, man.

- Oh, sorry.

00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:41,081

Here you go.

00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:42,082

Hey, do you ever think

maybe you shouldn't

00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:43,208

give your son coffee?

00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:44,668

Like how do you mean?

00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:46,044

Like look at him.

00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:47,254

He's always shaking

and nervous.

00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:48,880

Oh, that.

00:09:49,006 --> 00:09:50,507

He has ADD,

attention deficit disorder.

00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,843

That's why he's so jittery

all the time.

00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:53,844

Mr. Tweek.

00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:55,929

We've only just heard.

00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:58,223

Oh, hello, committee members.

What a surprise.

00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,225

So this is

the corporate bulldozer

00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:01,893

trying to push you

off the map?

00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:04,021

Yes, how did you hear?

00:10:04,146 --> 00:10:05,606

These boys did an excellent

report for us this morning.

00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:07,858

They're so upset

by this whole thing.

00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:09,860

My butt hurts.

- Don't worry, Mr. Tweek.

00:10:09,985 --> 00:10:11,653

This committee is not

going to let you

00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:14,072

be run out of business

by these bastards!

00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:15,866

You hear that?!

00:10:15,991 --> 00:10:17,451

You're not gonna get away

with this, you whore!

00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:18,869

Excuse me?

00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:20,662

Boys, we've talked it over,

00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,748

and we want you to take

your case to the mayor.

00:10:22,873 --> 00:10:24,458

Our case?

- Ah! No way, man!

00:10:24,583 --> 00:10:25,834

That is way too much pressure!

00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,377

Oh, you'll do fine, son.

00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:29,004

Come on, boys, let's go!

00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,047

- Aw, man, this sucks!

00:10:30,172 --> 00:10:31,381

- Ah!

00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,677

And we would have never even

known that this was happening

00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:38,180

if not for these boys'

excellent report.

00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:39,890

You're telling me

that students

00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:41,683

from Mr. Garrison's class

actually did something

00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:44,144

that had some kind of relevance

to the world?

00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:45,937

That's right.

00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:47,564

Mr. Garrison,

the guy with the puppet?

00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:48,815

Yes.

00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:50,400

Well, I must say, Garrison,

00:10:50,525 --> 00:10:51,777

perhaps you're not

as stupid and crazy

00:10:51,902 --> 00:10:52,819

as I always tell people

you are.

00:10:52,944 --> 00:10:54,529

Thank you, Mayor.

00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:55,906

I don't want to sound

like a dick hole, but I--

00:10:56,031 --> 00:10:57,532

Mayor, these boys want

00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:58,742

that Harbucks Coffee

shut down right now!

00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:00,285

Yeah!

- Yeah!

00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:01,411

- Well,

I can't just shut them down.

00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:02,704

This is a free country.

00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,498

- But they're ruining our city!

00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:06,041

- Look, the best I can do

is create a proposition.

00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,542

We'll call it Prop 10.

00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:09,503

The town can vote on it,

and if it passes,

00:11:09,628 --> 00:11:10,629

we'll see what we can do.

00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:11,713

Hooray!

00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:12,923

- What do you say, boys?

00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:14,508

We're gonna pass a law!

00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:16,551

Uh... hooray.

00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:18,261

So I guess you want

to do some campaigning.

00:11:18,387 --> 00:11:20,263

You can do commercials

and things like that,

00:11:20,389 --> 00:11:22,140

and then we'll have a vote

in the middle of town,

00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:24,476

and obviously if more

than 50% of the people...

00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:26,395

Ah!

00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:29,147

...And want Harbucks out,

then they're out.

00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:31,733

So good luck to you.

00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:33,026

Didn't you see them?

00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,569

All right, what's next?

00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:37,155

Next is Issue 37D,

missing underpants.

00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,032

Is it cold in here?

00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:40,951

Oh, boys, could I have

a quick this-and-that with you?

00:11:41,076 --> 00:11:42,953

Boys, I don't know

who wrote that report,

00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:44,538

but now that

you've convinced everybody,

00:11:44,663 --> 00:11:46,039

you better stick with it,

00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:47,541

'cause if these people find out

00:11:47,666 --> 00:11:48,750

you didn't really write

that paper

00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,460

and I actually do get fired,

00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:53,755

then Mr. Hat is gonna do

horrible things to you.

00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,382

Oh, not that, Mr. Hat!

00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:57,551

That's really horrible!

00:11:57,676 --> 00:12:00,429

Anyway, good luck

passing your new law, boys.

00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:02,472

Jesus, man, Jesus!

What are we gonna do, huh?

00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:04,975

- Live! It's the South Park

town hall meeting

00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:06,560

on public access!

00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:08,562

Tonight's topic, Prop 10!

00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,774

Should Harbucks be allowed

to open a store in South Park?

00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:13,775

That's tonight's topic.

00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,152

On my left,

00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:16,778

five innocent, starry-eyed boys

00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:18,697

from Middle America.

00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:21,032

On my right, a big fat smelly

corporate guy from New York.

00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:24,578

Hey, I'm not fat or smelly!

00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:26,121

All right, Mr. Douchebag.

00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,206

Postum!

- Oh, pardon me, Mr. Ass Face.

00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:30,167

Anyway, let's hear

your side of the argument.

00:12:30,292 --> 00:12:32,586

My argument is simple.

00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:35,213

This country is founded

on free enterprise.

00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,759

Harbucks is

an organization that...

00:12:38,884 --> 00:12:40,677

An organization

that prides itself

00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:42,262

on great coffee!

00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:45,307

We simply want--

ah, to hell with you!

00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:46,850

Okay, Uck-Up-Fay,

00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,435

Now, for the other side

of the argument,

00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:51,062

we turn to our young,

handsome lads.

00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:53,273

Boys, your thoughts?

00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:55,942

Come on, boys, don't be shy.

00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,319

What's your principal argument?

00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:03,241

Uh...

- Uh...

00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:04,659

This guy sucks ass!

00:13:07,162 --> 00:13:08,246

Great argument!

You win, boys!

00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:09,414

What?!

00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:11,291

That was close, Mr. Hat.

00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:14,836

What is

the future of America?

00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:16,463

Is it the money we make?

00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:18,048

The quests we conquer?

00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:20,258

No. It's children.

00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:23,845

So what do children have

to say about Prop 10?

00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,639

I don't like

big corporations.

00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:27,641

I like small businesses.

00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:31,269

I believe in

the family-owned enterprise.

00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:31,894

- Ah!

00:13:35,607 --> 00:13:38,485

It's time to stop

large corporations.

00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:40,487

Prop 10 is about children.

00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:44,491

Vote yes on Prop 10,

or else you hate children.

00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:49,079

You don't hate children...

do you?

00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:52,290

Remember,

keep American business small,

00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:53,875

or else.

00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,877

Paid for

by Citizens for a Fair

00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,879

and Equal Way

to Get Harbucks Coffee

00:13:58,004 --> 00:14:01,049

Kicked Out of Town Forever.

00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,676

- Well? What do you think?

00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:04,052

Wow, it's great!

00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:05,595

Yes, it is!

00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,013

We'll put it on the air

immediately!

00:14:07,138 --> 00:14:08,682

What do you think, hon?

00:14:08,807 --> 00:14:10,433

Hon? What's the matter?

00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:12,477

I have a big problem

with this.

00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:14,145

What do you mean?

00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:15,897

We're just using those boys

for our benefit.

00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:17,941

They have no idea

what they're saying.

00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:20,277

- But kids are great

to get people on our side.

00:14:20,402 --> 00:14:22,904

You don't just throw a child

in a political commercial

00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,322

to sell your beliefs.

00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:27,117

I won't be a part

of this anymore.

00:14:27,242 --> 00:14:29,119

Honey, all's fair

in love and war.

00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:30,704

And coffee.

00:14:30,829 --> 00:14:32,330

Hon? Hon?

00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:37,544

Take your corporate coffee

00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:39,546

and go back to New York City!

00:14:40,839 --> 00:14:42,716

It's people like you

00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:46,219

who are ruining

Main Street, USA!

00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:48,346

How many Native Americans

did you slaughter

00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:51,141

to make that coffee, huh?

00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:54,936

Damn, these people

aren't buying any coffee.

00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:57,480

I'll have to try and appeal

to the younger crowd.

00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:00,942

Hey, kids, I'm Camel Joe,

00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:03,486

and I love

a fresh cup of coffee.

00:15:03,612 --> 00:15:05,363

It's yum-diddly-iscious.

00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,741

And it makes you feel super!

00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:10,744

I have a surprise for you.

00:15:10,869 --> 00:15:13,163

The new kiddie-cino

from Harbucks!

00:15:13,288 --> 00:15:15,582

More sugar and all

the other goodies kids like

00:15:15,707 --> 00:15:18,585

with all the caffeine

of a normal double latte.

00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:20,754

No, Billy, no coffee for you.

00:15:20,879 --> 00:15:22,964

You should be ashamed

of yourself.

00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:25,967

Using cartoons

to push caffeine on children!

00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:27,385

Why don't you go back

to the hole

00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:28,970

you crawled out from, lady?

00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,764

Uh, Mr. Postum,

I'm afraid you've got

00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:33,433

a lot to learn

about making coffee.

00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:35,352

Oh, and you don't?

00:15:35,477 --> 00:15:37,395

Your coffee tastes like

three-day-old moldy diarrhea.

00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,189

I'm sorry to inform you

that this town

00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:40,982

is having a vote tomorrow,

and if the law passes,

00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:42,776

you're gonna be

thrown out of town.

00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:44,235

What?!

00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:45,236

At 5:00,

the best coffee wins:

00:15:45,362 --> 00:15:46,821

either your coffee

00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:49,032

or a fresh warm cup

of Tweek's coffee.

00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:50,992

Like an old sweater that keeps

getting warmer with age,

00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,161

you can count on Tweek's coffee

to start your day.

00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:56,414

Tomorrow

for the Prop 10 vote,

00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:58,667

we'll set up

ballot booths... here.

00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:00,001

All right, and then

we'll throw up the stage here.

00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:01,419

Before the vote,

00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:02,420

we'll get a band

everyone likes,

00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:04,005

like, uh, like...

00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,632

Toto.

- Like Toto.

00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:07,425

And then the Harbucks guy

will have

00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:09,219

five minutes to speak,

and the boys will have

00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:10,804

five minutes to speak,

and then the town votes!

00:16:10,929 --> 00:16:12,597

- Uh, boys, you better

get your asses to work.

00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,140

What now?

00:16:14,265 --> 00:16:15,225

They're expecting you

to give a big speech

00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:16,810

on corporate takeovers,

00:16:16,935 --> 00:16:18,353

and this time it has

to last five minutes.

00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:19,813

Oh, God!

When is this gonna end?

00:16:19,938 --> 00:16:21,606

Your dad really

screwed us, Tweek.

00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:23,525

Jesus, dude!

I'm to blame for all this!

00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:24,943

I'm to blame for everything!

00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:30,407

So what are we gonna say?

00:16:30,532 --> 00:16:32,117

Why can't we just read

the paper we wrote last time?

00:16:32,242 --> 00:16:33,159

'Cause then they'll know

we didn't write it, dummy!

00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:34,786

We have to be original.

00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:36,121

- Does anybody know

anything about corporations?

00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:39,791

♪ Search for underpants, hey ♪

00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:41,251

I think my mom

is a corporation.

00:16:41,376 --> 00:16:42,335

Yeah, that makes sense.

00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:44,170

You guys! Shh!

00:16:44,295 --> 00:16:45,964

Well, how about we just say,

corporate should be stopped.

00:16:46,089 --> 00:16:47,465

How do we stretch that

into five minutes?

00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:49,426

They're taking my underpants!

00:16:49,551 --> 00:16:50,510

- Will you stop with

the underpants gnomes, Tweek?

00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:51,845

We have to work here!

00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:53,430

Ah!

00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:55,932

What the hell?

00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:57,892

Well, I'll be damned.

00:16:58,018 --> 00:16:59,728

That's my last pair

of underpants!

00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:05,483

Shh, don't scare him.

00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:07,110

Hey there, little guy.

00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:08,319

Bad!

00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:10,196

Cartman!

- What?

00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:12,032

Why do you always have to

hit stuff with a stick?

00:17:12,157 --> 00:17:13,825

Well, look at him, he's all,

you know... look at him.

00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:15,076

Is that all you got, pussy?

00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,369

What?

- Hey, he talked.

00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:17,746

Yeah, he called me a pussy.

00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:18,913

I'm not a pussy!

You're a pussy!

00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:20,790

You're a pussy, pussy!

00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:22,584

Dude, why are you taking

Tweek's underpants?

00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,294

Yeah, look what you're doing

to this poor kid.

00:17:24,419 --> 00:17:26,087

Stealing underpants,

big business!

00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,089

Business? Wait, do you know

anything about business?

00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:29,632

Sure, that's what gnomes do!

00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:31,551

Show us!

- Okay, follow me!

00:17:33,428 --> 00:17:35,221

Little pussy gnome.

Don't call me a pussy.

00:17:35,346 --> 00:17:36,222

Pussy gnome.

00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:40,101

- Not much longer now!

00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:41,728

Are you taking us

to your little pussy house?

00:17:41,853 --> 00:17:42,896

No, pussy,

I'm taking you to my village.

00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:44,355

Oh, your pussy village?

00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:45,398

Cartman,

will you just shut up

00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:47,317

and let him show us?

00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:48,777

Follow me!

00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:49,903

I hope we're not

wasting our time

00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:51,071

with this little pecker.

00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:57,744

- Well, it looks like

Harbucks will never make it

00:17:57,869 --> 00:17:59,079

in this town.

00:17:59,204 --> 00:18:00,580

All right, boys, that's it!

00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:02,332

Pack it up!

We're moving out of town!

00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:04,459

- Aw, but we just finished!

00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,628

- I know, but these folks

obviously don't want us here.

00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,797

- But what will become of us?

00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:11,132

- Oh, quit being

so melodramatic, Sanchez.

00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:13,885

Jesus Christ.

00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:16,262

- Damn, dude,

this place is huge.

00:18:16,387 --> 00:18:18,181

- Yeah, it's almost as big

as Cartman's ass.

00:18:18,306 --> 00:18:20,100

- No, it isn't, you guys.

00:18:20,225 --> 00:18:22,268

- This is where

all our work is done.

00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:23,728

- So what are you gonna do

00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:25,396

with all these underpants

you steal?

00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:26,940

Collecting underpants

is just phase one.

00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:28,775

Phase one, collect underpants.

00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:31,027

So what's phase two?

00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:35,949

Hey, what's phase two?

00:18:36,074 --> 00:18:37,992

Phase one,

we collect underpants.

00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:40,537

Yeah, yeah, yeah,

but what about phase two?

00:18:42,914 --> 00:18:45,416

Well, phase three is profit!

Get it?

00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:47,085

I don't get it.

00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:48,795

You see, phase one,

collect underpants.

00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:50,964

Phase two...

00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:52,549

Phase three, profit!

00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:53,591

Oh, I get it.

00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:55,385

No you don't, fat-ass!

00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:56,719

Do you guys know anything

about corporations?

00:18:56,845 --> 00:18:58,179

You bet we do!

00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:00,390

Us gnomes are geniuses

at corporations!

00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,644

Jesus Christ, look out!

00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:07,647

Oh, my God,

they killed Kenny.

00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:09,232

You bastards. Listen.

00:19:09,357 --> 00:19:10,400

We have to give

a huge speech tomorrow

00:19:10,525 --> 00:19:11,818

about corporate takeovers.

00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:13,695

Holy shit!

We killed your friend!

00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,530

Yeah, yeah, yeah, look,

we gotta know

00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,240

about corporate takeovers

tomorrow, or we're screwed.

00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:19,284

Christ!

We squished him like a bug!

00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:21,411

- Do you know anything

about corporate takeovers?

00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:23,121

Well, we can explain that

to you easily.

00:19:23,246 --> 00:19:24,706

Yes, for a price.

- What?

00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,249

You know.

- Underpants?

00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:27,750

Underpants!

00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:35,425

Toto, ladies and gentlemen!

00:19:35,550 --> 00:19:39,512

Yeah, Toto!

Whoo, Toto! Whoo!

00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:41,014

All right, and now,

00:19:41,139 --> 00:19:42,640

before we all vote yes

on Prop 10,

00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:44,225

here to remind us why

00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:45,810

are the lovable,

innocent children.

00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:50,857

- Since we are so concerned

with the corporate takeovers,

00:19:50,982 --> 00:19:53,234

we went and asked our friends

the underpants gnomes,

00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,028

and they told us all about

big corporations.

00:19:55,153 --> 00:19:58,448

Underpants gnomes?

- Big corporations are good!

00:19:58,573 --> 00:20:00,200

What?

- Good?

00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:01,659

Because,

without big corporations,

00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:03,203

we wouldn't have things

00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:04,871

like cars and computers

and canned soup.

00:20:04,996 --> 00:20:06,206

Even Harbucks Coffee

started off

00:20:06,331 --> 00:20:07,707

as a small little business,

00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:09,459

but because it made

such great coffee

00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:11,252

and because they ran

their business so well,

00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:12,879

they managed to grow and grow

until it became

00:20:13,004 --> 00:20:14,881

the corporate powerhouse

it is today.

00:20:15,006 --> 00:20:17,467

And that is why we should

all let Harbucks stay!

00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:22,138

That's not what you said

last time!

00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:23,681

Uh... well, the truth is,

00:20:23,806 --> 00:20:25,308

we didn't write that paper

last time.

00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:27,268

You little turd!

00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:30,897

You ruined my life

for the last time!

00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:36,402

These boys

are absolutely right.

00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:38,404

We've been using

these poor kids

00:20:38,529 --> 00:20:39,489

to pull at your heartstrings

for our cause,

00:20:39,614 --> 00:20:41,157

and it's wrong.

00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:42,909

We're as low and despicable

as Rob Reiner.

00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:44,494

You keep protesting

and complaining,

00:20:44,619 --> 00:20:46,079

but did any of you

ever even bother

00:20:46,204 --> 00:20:48,039

to taste Harbucks Coffee?

00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:52,085

Harbucks Coffee got to where

it is by being the best.

00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:55,922

Don't you think you should

at least try it?

00:20:58,633 --> 00:21:01,511

Hey!

This is pretty damn good!

00:21:01,636 --> 00:21:04,305

Yeah, it doesn't have

that bland, raw sewage taste

00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:06,057

that Tweek's coffee has.

00:21:08,643 --> 00:21:10,979

Hey... hey, that is good.

00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:12,313

It's a French roast.

00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:14,315

It's subtle and mild.

00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:17,318

Mild like that first splash

of sun on an April morning.

00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:19,320

This coffee is coffee

the way it should be.

00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:21,322

Hey, no hard feelings, Tweek.

00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:23,324

You know,

we still need someone to run

00:21:23,449 --> 00:21:25,118

this Harbucks coffeehouse.

00:21:25,243 --> 00:21:27,537

I'm sure it will make

a lot of money.

00:21:27,662 --> 00:21:29,539

Thank you, Mr. Postum,

but I think we'll be fine

00:21:29,664 --> 00:21:32,083

with the money we make

selling our son into slavery.

00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:34,252

Ah!

- Just kidding, son.

00:21:36,671 --> 00:21:39,424

I love you guys.

00:21:39,549 --> 00:21:41,009

♪ Time to go to work,

work all night ♪

00:21:41,134 --> 00:21:43,428

♪ Search for underpants, hey ♪

00:21:43,553 --> 00:21:45,722

♪ We won't stop

until we have underpants ♪

00:21:45,847 --> 00:21:48,016

♪ Yum-tum, yummy-tum-tay ♪

00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:49,600

♪ Time to go to work,

work all night ♪

00:21:49,726 --> 00:21:51,769

♪ Search for underpants, hey ♪

00:21:51,894 --> 00:21:53,271

♪ We won't stop

until we have underpants ♪

00:21:53,396 --> 00:21:55,690

♪ Yum-tum, yummy-tum-tay ♪

00:00:11,804 --> 00:00:13,472

♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪

00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:15,266

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

00:00:15,391 --> 00:00:17,101

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:00:17,226 --> 00:00:18,477

♪ Going down to South Park ♪

00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:20,312

♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪

00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:22,064

♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:23,733

♪ People spouting

"howdy, neighbor"! ♪

00:00:23,858 --> 00:00:25,151

♪ Headed on up

to South Park ♪

00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:26,527

♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

00:00:26,652 --> 00:00:30,322

♪ [muffled] ♪

00:00:30,448 --> 00:00:31,824

♪ Come on down

to South Park ♪

00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:34,076

♪ And meet some friends

of mine ♪

00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:37,371

♪♪

00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:39,415

[children laughing

and screaming]

00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,000

Settle down, children.

00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:42,835

I have some difficult news.

00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,421

This is going to make

you all very sad.

00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:49,467

The school board is considering

firing me as your teacher.

00:00:49,592 --> 00:00:51,302

There's a possibility

that I'll be let go

00:00:51,427 --> 00:00:54,096

and never allowed

to teach you again.

00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,681

Yes, Stanley?

- That's okay with us.

00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:57,516

Yeah.

- Yeah, we don't care.

00:00:57,641 --> 00:00:59,185

No, it isn't,

it makes you very sad!

00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:01,103

Now, apparently,

the school board thinks

00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:02,897

that I don't teach you anything

about current events,

00:01:03,022 --> 00:01:05,316

so tomorrow they're gonna

have you do presentations

00:01:05,441 --> 00:01:06,525

for the whole board.

00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:07,818

[all moaning]

00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:09,737

"Current events in South Park."

00:01:09,862 --> 00:01:11,530

Now, I want you all

to read a newspaper,

00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:13,324

or, better yet,

watch television,

00:01:13,449 --> 00:01:14,909

and come up with something

current in South Park

00:01:15,034 --> 00:01:16,202

to do a report on.

00:01:16,327 --> 00:01:17,536

[all moaning]

00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,288

Now, this will be

a group project,

00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:20,331

so I'm gonna place you all

into groups of five.

00:01:20,456 --> 00:01:21,373

Let's see...

00:01:21,499 --> 00:01:23,125

Wendy, Bebe, Clyde,

00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,169

Pip, and Token,

you'll be group one.

00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:30,341

And group two will be

Stan, Kyle, Eric, Kenny, and...

00:01:30,466 --> 00:01:31,759

and Tweek.

00:01:31,884 --> 00:01:33,761

Ah!

- Oh, not Tweek.

00:01:33,886 --> 00:01:35,679

We don't want to be

in a group with Tweek.

00:01:35,805 --> 00:01:37,306

There's nothing wrong

with Tweek.

00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:39,100

I bet he'll do a great job

in your group.

00:01:39,225 --> 00:01:40,184

I can't take

that kind of pressure!

00:01:40,309 --> 00:01:41,727

No, sweet Jesus, please!

00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:43,687

Dude, we can't work

with this kid.

00:01:43,813 --> 00:01:45,147

That's what Chad Everett

thought

00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:46,398

when the new female intern

joined

00:01:46,524 --> 00:01:47,817

the cast of "Medical Center."

00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:49,318

He thought,

"Who is this woman

00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:50,736

with her gazungas

and high heels?

00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:52,571

What does she know

about medicine?"

00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:54,073

Well, that intern soon saved

Chad Everett's brother

00:01:54,198 --> 00:01:56,909

with a kidney transplant,

so you see?

00:01:57,034 --> 00:01:58,410

No.

00:01:58,536 --> 00:01:59,703

- Well, let me put it

another way.

00:01:59,829 --> 00:02:01,330

You have to give

your oral report

00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,124

to the entire South Park

town committee tomorrow,

00:02:03,249 --> 00:02:04,959

and if it doesn't kick ass

and you make me look bad,

00:02:05,084 --> 00:02:07,169

Mr. Hat is gonna

smack you bitches up.

00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,462

Wah!

00:02:08,587 --> 00:02:13,050

♪♪

00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:17,555

Hello there, customer.

- Hello, how are you today?

00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:18,973

Great,

what can I get for you?

00:02:19,098 --> 00:02:20,641

Large coffee? Small coffee?

00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:22,601

I'm actually interested

in something else.

00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:24,061

I'm John Postum

00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:25,938

from the Harbucks Coffee

corporation.

00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:27,731

Oh, you're that corporate guy

who's been calling.

00:02:27,857 --> 00:02:29,191

That's right.

00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:31,026

How come you don't

call me back?

00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:33,904

All we want to do is buy out

your coffee shop here.

00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:36,073

Oh, forget it,

my store is not for sale.

00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:39,535

My company is prepared to

make you a very generous offer.

00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:44,206

This is a Cramsonite briefcase.

All leather.

00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:45,791

It has four compartments

and a keyless lock.

00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:46,834

Interested?

00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:48,377

I don't think so.

00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,045

My coffee shop

is worth a lot to me.

00:02:50,171 --> 00:02:51,755

All right,

how about $500,000?

00:02:51,881 --> 00:02:53,632

The answer is still no,

Mr. Postum.

00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:56,218

You see, when my father opened

this store 30 years ago,

00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,012

he cared about only one thing--

00:02:58,137 --> 00:02:59,847

making a great cup of coffee.

00:02:59,972 --> 00:03:01,640

Sure, we may take

a little longer to brew a cup,

00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:03,434

and we may not

call it fancy names,

00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:05,227

but I guess we just care

a little more.

00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,438

And that's why Tweek coffee

is still homebrewed

00:03:07,563 --> 00:03:09,231

from the finest beans

we can muster.

00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:11,859

Yes, Tweek coffee

is a simpler coffee,

00:03:11,984 --> 00:03:13,777

for a simpler America.

00:03:13,903 --> 00:03:15,446

Well, that's too bad.

00:03:15,571 --> 00:03:17,281

We're just gonna

have to open our Harbucks

00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:18,824

right next door to you.

00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:20,534

But that could put me

out of business.

00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:22,661

Hey, this is

a capitalist country, pal.

00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:24,121

Get used to it.

00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:26,916

Hello, Mr. Tweek.

00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:28,959

- Hi, Officer Barbrady.

- Who was that?

00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:31,462

Oh, just some dong.

What can I get for you?

00:03:31,587 --> 00:03:33,589

The usual.

[cat meows]

00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:34,673

Oh!

00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:36,133

Thanks, see you tomorrow.

00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:38,260

Bye-bye.

00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:41,222

♪♪

00:03:41,347 --> 00:03:43,057

Okay, we have to do

this stupid report, so--

00:03:43,182 --> 00:03:45,184

Ah!

00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:50,856

So let's figure out

what to do it about.

00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,277

How about we do it

on that Raymond guy on TV?

00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,029

You know,

everybody loves Raymond.

00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:58,781

No, Cartman, we can't do it

on Raymond again!

00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,032

It has to be on

a current event in South Park.

00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:01,200

Tweek, do you have any ideas?

00:04:01,325 --> 00:04:02,701

Ah! Too much pressure!

00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:04,203

Great.

A lot of help you are, kid.

00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:06,038

The gnomes!

- What?

00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:07,039

We can do our report

on the gnomes.

00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:08,749

What gnomes?

00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:10,417

The underpants gnomes,

the little guys that...

00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:11,835

that come in your room

late, late at night,

00:04:11,961 --> 00:04:13,254

and steal your underpants.

00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:16,715

Oh, so that's where

all my underpants go!

00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,634

- Dude, that's the dumbest

thing I've ever heard.

00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,344

- Yeah, I've never seen

any underpants gnomes.

00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:21,845

- They come out

at 3:30 in the morning.

00:04:21,971 --> 00:04:22,930

Most people aren't up then,

but I am.

00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:24,807

I can't sleep... ever.

00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:26,642

- We can't do a presentation

on underpants gnomes.

00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,269

Mr. Garrison will fail us

because you're making it up.

00:04:28,394 --> 00:04:29,436

- No,

sleep at my house tonight!

00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:30,813

I'll prove it to you.

00:04:32,356 --> 00:04:33,524

They want me

to sell the store,

00:04:33,649 --> 00:04:35,276

and it's so much money.

00:04:35,401 --> 00:04:36,735

Some things are more

important than money.

00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,737

The people of South Park

count on you

00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:41,323

to give them that first

cup of coffee every day.

00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,742

I know, but if they open

a Harbucks right next

00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:45,411

door, we might go out of business.

00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:48,122

They really have my balls

in a vice grip.

00:04:48,247 --> 00:04:50,249

Oh, hello, son.

How was your day?

00:04:50,374 --> 00:04:51,750

Ah!

- That's good.

00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:53,043

Who are your little friends?

00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:54,336

What do you mean?

00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,130

We're his

oral report buddies.

00:04:56,255 --> 00:04:57,339

Yeah, we have to stay up

all night to write it.

00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:58,674

Well, have some coffee, boys.

00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,175

I'll brew up

another pot for later.

00:05:00,301 --> 00:05:01,844

Coffee?

I don't think I like coffee.

00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,554

Oh, you'll like this coffee.

It's fresh.

00:05:03,679 --> 00:05:04,972

Country fresh,

00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:06,724

like the morning

after a rainstorm.

00:05:06,849 --> 00:05:08,142

Kay...

maybe it'll help us figure out

00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:09,685

what to do our report on.

00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,061

We have to present it

to the entire

00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:12,271

South Park town committee

tomorrow.

00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:13,981

- Oh, I've got one for you.

00:05:14,106 --> 00:05:16,150

How about doing a report

on how large corporations

00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:18,193

take over little

family-owned businesses?

00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:20,571

Richard!

- No, I'm serious, hon.

00:05:20,696 --> 00:05:22,239

These boys should learn

00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:23,824

how the corporate machine

is ruining America.

00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:25,659

You see, I own a coffee shop,

and now

00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:27,244

a great big

multimillion-dollar company

00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:28,620

is going to move in

00:05:28,746 --> 00:05:30,164

and try to take

all my business,

00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:31,707

which means

I may have to shut down

00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:32,875

and sell my son Tweek

into slavery.

00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,752

Ah! Slavery?

00:05:34,877 --> 00:05:36,837

Yes, slavery.

- Wow, that sucks, dude.

00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:38,797

They really have my balls

in a salad shooter.

00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:41,008

We're already doing a paper

on Tweek's underpants gnomes.

00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:42,593

Yeah.

- Now, Tweek.

00:05:42,718 --> 00:05:44,386

How many times

do we have to tell you?

00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:46,180

Your underpants are missing

because you lose them,

00:05:46,305 --> 00:05:47,931

not because of

underpants gnomes.

00:05:48,057 --> 00:05:49,183

Ah!

- Come on, you guys.

00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:51,185

We better get to work!

00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:54,021

Okay, but corporate takeovers

is a much more fertile subject.

00:05:54,146 --> 00:05:55,898

Honestly, Richard,

00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:57,399

I don't see why you have to

preach to some eight-year-olds.

00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,193

Actually, honey,

00:05:59,318 --> 00:06:00,402

I think those little tykes

are just what we need.

00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,154

I've got an idea.

00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:06,825

Man, this stuff is strong.

- It's kind of bitter.

00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:08,410

What if my parents

go out of business?

00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,204

What'll I do?

- Don't worry about it.

00:06:10,329 --> 00:06:12,081

But we'll starve

and die like dogs!

00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:13,832

Tweek, Tweek,

you can always go on welfare.

00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,334

Look at Kenny's family.

00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:16,585

They're perfectly happy

being poor

00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,003

and on welfare, right, Kenny?

00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:19,797

[muffled]

- You suck, Kenny.

00:06:19,922 --> 00:06:21,048

Well, let's just try

to finish all this coffee

00:06:21,173 --> 00:06:22,508

so we can stay up.

00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,636

[muffled]

- Whoo-hoo!

00:06:25,761 --> 00:06:27,930

- Yes! This stuff rocks!

00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,681

Totally, dude!

I feel awesome!

00:06:29,807 --> 00:06:30,974

Whoopee!

00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:32,434

[muffled]

00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:34,228

You guys! You guys!

Seriously!

00:06:34,353 --> 00:06:35,771

Check me out!

I'm a sorcerer!

00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,523

Check it out, guys!

00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:39,191

Hey, Tweek, do you have

any more of this stuff?

00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:41,151

We just have grounds.

- Killer!

00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:44,822

Hey, let me have

some grounds!

00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:48,992

Gross, Cartman!

Whoopee!

00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:53,664

Oh, my stomach hurts.

00:06:53,789 --> 00:06:55,582

Yeah, mine too.

I wonder why.

00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,167

Well, it's 3:30,

and I don't see

00:06:57,292 --> 00:06:58,836

any Goddamn

underpants gnomes, Tweek.

00:06:58,961 --> 00:07:00,462

Ah!

Maybe it was all in my head!

00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:01,588

Maybe I'm going insane!

00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:03,215

Oh, no, I'm going insane!

00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:04,591

Well, this is just great.

00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:05,759

We haven't gotten

anything done,

00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:07,344

and we're totally screwed.

00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:08,929

How's the report going, boys?

- Bad.

00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:10,514

Oh, do you need

some more coffee?

00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:12,975

[all groaning]

No... more... coffee.

00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,519

Well, boys,

I don't mean to pry, but,

00:07:15,644 --> 00:07:18,230

if you want it,

I wrote your report for you.

00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:19,898

[all] You did?!

00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:21,358

Yes, it's all about

corporate takeovers.

00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:23,444

Of course,

you don't have to use it.

00:07:23,569 --> 00:07:24,987

No, we'll use it!

00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,113

All right,

and it can be our little secret

00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:27,114

about who wrote it, right?

00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:28,574

Sure!

00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:30,659

Now,

when you give the report,

00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,411

just make sure that you read

this part first, all right?

00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:33,954

[gnomes singing indistinctly]

00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:35,164

There they are.

00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:37,124

And then

someone should do

00:07:37,249 --> 00:07:38,792

the second part

and really, really play it up.

00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:40,210

Really, really play

the sympathy angle.

00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:41,795

They'll like that.

00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,046

You'll probably get

a passing grade for that.

00:07:43,172 --> 00:07:44,715

[gnomes singing]

00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,717

You guys, look, look,

you're missing it!

00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:49,344

[all] ♪ We won't stop

until we have underpants ♪

00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:51,472

Ah, they took 'em again!

- Thanks, dude!

00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:53,140

My pleasure.

Good night, boys.

00:07:53,265 --> 00:07:54,975

Wow, Tweek, your dad rocks.

00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,268

Why do they torture me

like this?!

00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:58,020

Why can't they leave me alone?!

00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,396

Damn it, what the hell

is wrong with you, Tweek?

00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:00,981

They took my underpants

again.

00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:02,983

Soon they'll want my blood...

blood!

00:08:09,198 --> 00:08:11,950

"And as the voluminous

corporate automaton

00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:14,328

bulldozes its way

through bantam America..."

00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:16,079

"What will become

00:08:16,205 --> 00:08:19,041

of the endeavoring

American family?"

00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,001

I don't think

they wrote this, Mr. Hat.

00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:23,420

"Perhaps there is no stopping

the corporate machine."

00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:24,713

Ah!

00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,548

- And that's our report.

I guess.

00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:29,092

Well, boys, it's obvious

that you didn't even--

00:08:29,218 --> 00:08:31,470

Great job!

- Yes, great job.

00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:33,180

Boys, you have really

opened our eyes.

00:08:33,305 --> 00:08:35,474

We didn't even know

this was happening.

00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:37,017

Neither did we.

00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:38,060

Well, Mr. Garrison,

it looks like

00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:39,811

we were wrong about you.

00:08:39,937 --> 00:08:41,480

You really are teaching

these kids something.

00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:42,940

Yeah, well,

I don't want to sound

00:08:43,065 --> 00:08:44,399

like a dick hole,

but I told you so.

00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:45,901

I am really moved.

00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,986

I say we follow

these boys' cause.

00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:51,031

Let's join them in the fight

against corporate takeovers!

00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:52,741

Lead the way, boys!

00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,576

Huh?

- Ah, too much pressure!

00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,745

♪♪

00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,789

- Good! Good!

00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:01,959

Now, make sure that sign is

really bright and flashy, now!

00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:04,795

- My goodness, that's going to

be a huge coffeehouse, honey.

00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:06,380

- Yes, it is.

00:09:06,505 --> 00:09:08,215

They really have my balls

in a juicemaker.

00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:10,676

Oh, hello, son.

Uh, how did your report go?

00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:12,219

Wah!

- I think it went really good.

00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:13,637

Those people

really got into it.

00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,639

Really?

00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:17,182

Well, son, you might have

just saved the family business.

00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:18,809

What do you have to say

about that?

00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,811

I need coffee!

- I know how you boys feel.

00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:23,522

Sometimes a hot cup

of French roast amaretto

00:09:23,647 --> 00:09:25,399

is just what a man needs

to get him through the day.

00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:27,025

That smooth aroma

and mild taste

00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:30,028

is what makes Tweek coffee

so very special,

00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:33,407

special like an Arizona sunrise

or a juniper wet with dew,

00:09:33,532 --> 00:09:35,033

a light rain in the middle

of a dusty afternoon

00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:36,368

or a hug

from your dear old auntie--

00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:37,869

Dad!

- What?

00:09:37,995 --> 00:09:39,538

The metaphors, man.

- Oh, sorry.

00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:41,081

Here you go.

00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:42,082

Hey, do you ever think

maybe you shouldn't

00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:43,208

give your son coffee?

00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:44,668

Like how do you mean?

00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:46,044

Like look at him.

00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:47,254

He's always shaking

and nervous.

00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:48,880

Oh, that.

00:09:49,006 --> 00:09:50,507

He has ADD,

attention deficit disorder.

00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,843

That's why he's so jittery

all the time.

00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:53,844

Mr. Tweek.

00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:55,929

We've only just heard.

00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:58,223

Oh, hello, committee members.

What a surprise.

00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,225

So this is

the corporate bulldozer

00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:01,893

trying to push you

off the map?

00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:04,021

Yes, how did you hear?

00:10:04,146 --> 00:10:05,606

These boys did an excellent

report for us this morning.

00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:07,858

They're so upset

by this whole thing.

00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:09,860

My butt hurts.

- Don't worry, Mr. Tweek.

00:10:09,985 --> 00:10:11,653

This committee is not

going to let you

00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:14,072

be run out of business

by these bastards!

00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:15,866

You hear that?!

00:10:15,991 --> 00:10:17,451

You're not gonna get away

with this, you whore!

00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:18,869

Excuse me?

00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:20,662

Boys, we've talked it over,

00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,748

and we want you to take

your case to the mayor.

00:10:22,873 --> 00:10:24,458

Our case?

- Ah! No way, man!

00:10:24,583 --> 00:10:25,834

That is way too much pressure!

00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,377

Oh, you'll do fine, son.

00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:29,004

Come on, boys, let's go!

00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,047

- Aw, man, this sucks!

00:10:30,172 --> 00:10:31,381

- Ah!

00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:33,675

♪♪

00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,677

And we would have never even

known that this was happening

00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:38,180

if not for these boys'

excellent report.

00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:39,890

You're telling me

that students

00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:41,683

from Mr. Garrison's class

actually did something

00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:44,144

that had some kind of relevance

to the world?

00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:45,937

That's right.

00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:47,564

Mr. Garrison,

the guy with the puppet?

00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:48,815

Yes.

00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:50,400

Well, I must say, Garrison,

00:10:50,525 --> 00:10:51,777

perhaps you're not

as stupid and crazy

00:10:51,902 --> 00:10:52,819

as I always tell people

you are.

00:10:52,944 --> 00:10:54,529

Thank you, Mayor.

00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:55,906

I don't want to sound

like a dick hole, but I--

00:10:56,031 --> 00:10:57,532

Mayor, these boys want

00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:58,742

that Harbucks Coffee

shut down right now!

00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:00,285

Yeah!

- Yeah!

00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:01,411

- Well,

I can't just shut them down.

00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:02,704

This is a free country.

00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,498

- But they're ruining our city!

00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:06,041

- Look, the best I can do

is create a proposition.

00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,542

We'll call it Prop 10.

00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:09,503

The town can vote on it,

and if it passes,

00:11:09,628 --> 00:11:10,629

we'll see what we can do.

00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:11,713

all: Hooray!

00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:12,923

- What do you say, boys?

00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:14,508

We're gonna pass a law!

00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:16,551

Uh... hooray.

00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:18,261

So I guess you want

to do some campaigning.

00:11:18,387 --> 00:11:20,263

You can do commercials

and things like that,

00:11:20,389 --> 00:11:22,140

and then we'll have a vote

in the middle of town,

00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:24,476

and obviously if more

than 50% of the people...

00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:26,395

Ah!

00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:29,147

...And want Harbucks out,

then they're out.

00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:31,733

So good luck to you.

00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:33,026

Didn't you see them?

00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,569

All right, what's next?

00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:37,155

Next is Issue 37D,

missing underpants.

00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,032

Is it cold in here?

00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:40,951

Oh, boys, could I have

a quick this-and-that with you?

00:11:41,076 --> 00:11:42,953

Boys, I don't know

who wrote that report,

00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:44,538

but now that

you've convinced everybody,

00:11:44,663 --> 00:11:46,039

you better stick with it,

00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:47,541

'cause if these people find out

00:11:47,666 --> 00:11:48,750

you didn't really write

that paper

00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,460

and I actually do get fired,

00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:53,755

then Mr. Hat is gonna do

horrible things to you.

00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,382

Oh, not that, Mr. Hat!

00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:57,551

That's really horrible!

00:11:57,676 --> 00:12:00,429

Anyway, good luck

passing your new law, boys.

00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:02,472

Jesus, man, Jesus!

What are we gonna do, huh?

00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:04,975

- Live! It's the South Park

town hall meeting

00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:06,560

on public access!

00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:08,562

Tonight's topic, Prop 10!

00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,774

Should Harbucks be allowed

to open a store in South Park?

00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:13,775

That's tonight's topic.

00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,152

On my left,

00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:16,778

five innocent, starry-eyed boys

00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:18,697

from Middle America.

00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:21,032

On my right, a big fat smelly

corporate guy from New York.

00:12:21,158 --> 00:12:22,534

[all booing]

00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:24,578

Hey, I'm not fat or smelly!

00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:26,121

All right, Mr. Douchebag.

00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,206

Postum!

- Oh, pardon me, Mr. Ass Face.

00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:30,167

Anyway, let's hear

your side of the argument.

00:12:30,292 --> 00:12:32,586

[all booing]

My argument is simple.

00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:35,213

This country is founded

on free enterprise.

00:12:35,338 --> 00:12:36,798

[crowd hissing]

00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,759

Harbucks is

an organization that...

00:12:38,884 --> 00:12:40,677

An organization

that prides itself

00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:42,262

on great coffee!

00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:45,307

We simply want--

ah, to hell with you!

00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:46,850

Okay, Uck-Up-Fay,

00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,435

Now, for the other side

of the argument,

00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:51,062

we turn to our young,

handsome lads.

00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:53,273

Boys, your thoughts?

00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:55,942

Come on, boys, don't be shy.

00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,319

What's your principal argument?

00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:03,241

Uh...

- Uh...

00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:04,659

This guy sucks ass!

00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:07,037

[cheers and applause]

00:13:07,162 --> 00:13:08,246

Great argument!

You win, boys!

00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:09,414

What?!

00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:11,291

That was close, Mr. Hat.

00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:14,836

What is

the future of America?

00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:16,463

Is it the money we make?

00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:18,048

The quests we conquer?

00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:20,258

No. It's children.

00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:23,845

So what do children have

to say about Prop 10?

00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,639

I don't like

big corporations.

00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:27,641

I like small businesses.

00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:31,269

I believe in

the family-owned enterprise.

00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:35,482

[muffled]

- Ah!

00:13:35,607 --> 00:13:38,485

It's time to stop

large corporations.

00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:40,487

Prop 10 is about children.

00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:44,491

Vote yes on Prop 10,

or else you hate children.

00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:49,079

You don't hate children...

do you?

00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:52,290

Remember,

keep American business small,

00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:53,875

or else.

00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,877

Paid for

by Citizens for a Fair

00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,879

and Equal Way

to Get Harbucks Coffee

00:13:58,004 --> 00:14:01,049

Kicked Out of Town Forever.

00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,676

- Well? What do you think?

00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:04,052

Wow, it's great!

00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:05,595

Yes, it is!

00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,013

We'll put it on the air

immediately!

00:14:07,138 --> 00:14:08,682

What do you think, hon?

00:14:08,807 --> 00:14:10,433

Hon? What's the matter?

00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:12,477

I have a big problem

with this.

00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:14,145

What do you mean?

00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:15,897

We're just using those boys

for our benefit.

00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:17,941

They have no idea

what they're saying.

00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:20,277

- But kids are great

to get people on our side.

00:14:20,402 --> 00:14:22,904

You don't just throw a child

in a political commercial

00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,322

to sell your beliefs.

00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:27,117

I won't be a part

of this anymore.

00:14:27,242 --> 00:14:29,119

Honey, all's fair

in love and war.

00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:30,704

And coffee.

00:14:30,829 --> 00:14:32,330

Hon? Hon?

00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:37,544

Take your corporate coffee

00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:39,546

and go back to New York City!

00:14:39,671 --> 00:14:40,714

[all cheering]

00:14:40,839 --> 00:14:42,716

It's people like you

00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:46,219

who are ruining

Main Street, USA!

00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:48,346

How many Native Americans

did you slaughter

00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:51,141

to make that coffee, huh?

00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:52,893

[all cheering]

00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:54,936

Damn, these people

aren't buying any coffee.

00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:57,480

I'll have to try and appeal

to the younger crowd.

00:14:57,606 --> 00:14:59,357

[ascending harp glissando]

00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:00,942

Hey, kids, I'm Camel Joe,

00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:03,486

and I love

a fresh cup of coffee.

00:15:03,612 --> 00:15:05,363

It's yum-diddly-iscious.

00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,741

And it makes you feel super!

00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:10,744

I have a surprise for you.

00:15:10,869 --> 00:15:13,163

The new kiddie-cino

from Harbucks!

00:15:13,288 --> 00:15:15,582

More sugar and all

the other goodies kids like

00:15:15,707 --> 00:15:18,585

with all the caffeine

of a normal double latte.

00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:20,754

No, Billy, no coffee for you.

00:15:20,879 --> 00:15:22,964

You should be ashamed

of yourself.

00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:25,967

Using cartoons

to push caffeine on children!

00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:27,385

Why don't you go back

to the hole

00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:28,970

you crawled out from, lady?

00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,764

Uh, Mr. Postum,

I'm afraid you've got

00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:33,433

a lot to learn

about making coffee.

00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:35,352

Oh, and you don't?

00:15:35,477 --> 00:15:37,395

Your coffee tastes like

three-day-old moldy diarrhea.

00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,189

I'm sorry to inform you

that this town

00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:40,982

is having a vote tomorrow,

and if the law passes,

00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:42,776

you're gonna be

thrown out of town.

00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:44,235

What?!

00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:45,236

At 5:00,

the best coffee wins:

00:15:45,362 --> 00:15:46,821

either your coffee

00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:49,032

or a fresh warm cup

of Tweek's coffee.

00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:50,992

Like an old sweater that keeps

getting warmer with age,

00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,161

you can count on Tweek's coffee

to start your day.

00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:56,414

Tomorrow

for the Prop 10 vote,

00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:58,667

we'll set up

ballot booths... here.

00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:00,001

All right, and then

we'll throw up the stage here.

00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:01,419

Before the vote,

00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:02,420

we'll get a band

everyone likes,

00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:04,005

like, uh, like...

00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,632

Toto.

- Like Toto.

00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:07,425

And then the Harbucks guy

will have

00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:09,219

five minutes to speak,

and the boys will have

00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:10,804

five minutes to speak,

and then the town votes!

00:16:10,929 --> 00:16:12,597

- Uh, boys, you better

get your asses to work.

00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,140

What now?

00:16:14,265 --> 00:16:15,225

They're expecting you

to give a big speech

00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:16,810

on corporate takeovers,

00:16:16,935 --> 00:16:18,353

and this time it has

to last five minutes.

00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:19,813

Oh, God!

When is this gonna end?

00:16:19,938 --> 00:16:21,606

Your dad really

screwed us, Tweek.

00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:23,525

Jesus, dude!

I'm to blame for all this!

00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:24,943

I'm to blame for everything!

00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:30,407

So what are we gonna say?

00:16:30,532 --> 00:16:32,117

Why can't we just read

the paper we wrote last time?

00:16:32,242 --> 00:16:33,159

'Cause then they'll know

we didn't write it, dummy!

00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:34,786

We have to be original.

00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:36,121

- Does anybody know

anything about corporations?

00:16:36,246 --> 00:16:37,747

[gasps]

00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:39,791

all:

♪ Search for underpants, hey ♪

00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:41,251

I think my mom

is a corporation.

00:16:41,376 --> 00:16:42,335

Yeah, that makes sense.

00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:44,170

You guys! Shh!

00:16:44,295 --> 00:16:45,964

Well, how about we just say,

corporate should be stopped.

00:16:46,089 --> 00:16:47,465

How do we stretch that

into five minutes?

00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:49,426

They're taking my underpants!

00:16:49,551 --> 00:16:50,510

- Will you stop with

the underpants gnomes, Tweek?

00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:51,845

We have to work here!

00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:53,430

Ah!

00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:55,932

What the hell?

00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:57,892

Well, I'll be damned.

00:16:58,018 --> 00:16:59,728

That's my last pair

of underpants!

00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:05,483

Shh, don't scare him.

00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:07,110

Hey there, little guy.

00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:08,319

Bad!

00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:10,196

Cartman!

- What?

00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:12,032

Why do you always have to

hit stuff with a stick?

00:17:12,157 --> 00:17:13,825

Well, look at him, he's all,

you know... look at him.

00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:15,076

Is that all you got, pussy?

00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,369

What?

- Hey, he talked.

00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:17,746

Yeah, he called me a pussy.

00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:18,913

I'm not a pussy!

You're a pussy!

00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:20,790

You're a pussy, pussy!

00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:22,584

Dude, why are you taking

Tweek's underpants?

00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,294

Yeah, look what you're doing

to this poor kid.

00:17:24,419 --> 00:17:26,087

Stealing underpants,

big business!

00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,089

Business? Wait, do you know

anything about business?

00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:29,632

Sure, that's what gnomes do!

00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:31,551

Show us!

- Okay, follow me!

00:17:33,428 --> 00:17:35,221

Little pussy gnome.

Don't call me a pussy.

00:17:35,346 --> 00:17:36,222

Pussy gnome.

00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:38,308

♪♪

00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:40,101

- Not much longer now!

00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:41,728

Are you taking us

to your little pussy house?

00:17:41,853 --> 00:17:42,896

No, pussy,

I'm taking you to my village.

00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:44,355

Oh, your pussy village?

00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:45,398

Cartman,

will you just shut up

00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:47,317

and let him show us?

00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:48,777

Follow me!

00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:49,903

I hope we're not

wasting our time

00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:51,071

with this little pecker.

00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:57,744

- Well, it looks like

Harbucks will never make it

00:17:57,869 --> 00:17:59,079

in this town.

00:17:59,204 --> 00:18:00,580

All right, boys, that's it!

00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:02,332

Pack it up!

We're moving out of town!

00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:04,459

- Aw, but we just finished!

00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,628

- I know, but these folks

obviously don't want us here.

00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,797

- But what will become of us?

00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:11,132

- Oh, quit being

so melodramatic, Sanchez.

00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:13,885

Jesus Christ.

00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:16,262

- Damn, dude,

this place is huge.

00:18:16,387 --> 00:18:18,181

- Yeah, it's almost as big

as Cartman's ass.

00:18:18,306 --> 00:18:20,100

- No, it isn't, you guys.

00:18:20,225 --> 00:18:22,268

- This is where

all our work is done.

00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:23,728

- So what are you gonna do

00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:25,396

with all these underpants

you steal?

00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:26,940

Collecting underpants

is just phase one.

00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:28,775

Phase one, collect underpants.

00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:31,027

So what's phase two?

00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:35,949

Hey, what's phase two?

00:18:36,074 --> 00:18:37,992

Phase one,

we collect underpants.

00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:40,537

Yeah, yeah, yeah,

but what about phase two?

00:18:42,914 --> 00:18:45,416

Well, phase three is profit!

Get it?

00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:47,085

I don't get it.

00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:48,795

You see, phase one,

collect underpants.

00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:50,964

Phase two...

00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:52,549

Phase three, profit!

00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:53,591

Oh, I get it.

00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:55,385

No you don't, fat-ass!

00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:56,719

Do you guys know anything

about corporations?

00:18:56,845 --> 00:18:58,179

You bet we do!

00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:00,390

Us gnomes are geniuses

at corporations!

00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,644

Jesus Christ, look out!

00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:07,647

Oh, my God,

they killed Kenny.

00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:09,232

You bastards. Listen.

00:19:09,357 --> 00:19:10,400

We have to give

a huge speech tomorrow

00:19:10,525 --> 00:19:11,818

about corporate takeovers.

00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:13,695

Holy shit!

We killed your friend!

00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,530

Yeah, yeah, yeah, look,

we gotta know

00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,240

about corporate takeovers

tomorrow, or we're screwed.

00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:19,284

Christ!

We squished him like a bug!

00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:21,411

- Do you know anything

about corporate takeovers?

00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:23,121

Well, we can explain that

to you easily.

00:19:23,246 --> 00:19:24,706

Yes, for a price.

- What?

00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,249

You know.

- Underpants?

00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:27,750

all: Underpants!

00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:33,256

[rock band plays]

00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:35,425

Toto, ladies and gentlemen!

00:19:35,550 --> 00:19:39,512

Yeah, Toto!

Whoo, Toto! Whoo!

00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:41,014

All right, and now,

00:19:41,139 --> 00:19:42,640

before we all vote yes

on Prop 10,

00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:44,225

here to remind us why

00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:45,810

are the lovable,

innocent children.

00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:48,229

[cheers and applause]

00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:50,857

- Since we are so concerned

with the corporate takeovers,

00:19:50,982 --> 00:19:53,234

we went and asked our friends

the underpants gnomes,

00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,028

and they told us all about

big corporations.

00:19:55,153 --> 00:19:58,448

Underpants gnomes?

- Big corporations are good!

00:19:58,573 --> 00:20:00,200

What?

- Good?

00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:01,659

Because,

without big corporations,

00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:03,203

we wouldn't have things

00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:04,871

like cars and computers

and canned soup.

00:20:04,996 --> 00:20:06,206

Even Harbucks Coffee

started off

00:20:06,331 --> 00:20:07,707

as a small little business,

00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:09,459

but because it made

such great coffee

00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:11,252

and because they ran

their business so well,

00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:12,879

they managed to grow and grow

until it became

00:20:13,004 --> 00:20:14,881

the corporate powerhouse

it is today.

00:20:15,006 --> 00:20:17,467

And that is why we should

all let Harbucks stay!

00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:22,138

That's not what you said

last time!

00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:23,681

Uh... well, the truth is,

00:20:23,806 --> 00:20:25,308

we didn't write that paper

last time.

00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:27,268

[all gasping]

You little turd!

00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:30,897

You ruined my life

for the last time!

00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:36,402

These boys

are absolutely right.

00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:38,404

We've been using

these poor kids

00:20:38,529 --> 00:20:39,489

to pull at your heartstrings

for our cause,

00:20:39,614 --> 00:20:41,157

and it's wrong.

00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:42,909

We're as low and despicable

as Rob Reiner.

00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:44,494

You keep protesting

and complaining,

00:20:44,619 --> 00:20:46,079

but did any of you

ever even bother

00:20:46,204 --> 00:20:48,039

to taste Harbucks Coffee?

00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:52,085

Harbucks Coffee got to where

it is by being the best.

00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:55,922

Don't you think you should

at least try it?

00:20:58,633 --> 00:21:01,511

Hey!

This is pretty damn good!

00:21:01,636 --> 00:21:04,305

Yeah, it doesn't have

that bland, raw sewage taste

00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:06,057

that Tweek's coffee has.

00:21:08,643 --> 00:21:10,979

Hey... hey, that is good.

00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:12,313

It's a French roast.

00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:14,315

It's subtle and mild.

00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:17,318

Mild like that first splash

of sun on an April morning.

00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:19,320

This coffee is coffee

the way it should be.

00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:21,322

Hey, no hard feelings, Tweek.

00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:23,324

You know,

we still need someone to run

00:21:23,449 --> 00:21:25,118

this Harbucks coffeehouse.

00:21:25,243 --> 00:21:27,537

I'm sure it will make

a lot of money.

00:21:27,662 --> 00:21:29,539

Thank you, Mr. Postum,

but I think we'll be fine

00:21:29,664 --> 00:21:32,083

with the money we make

selling our son into slavery.

00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:34,252

Ah!

- Just kidding, son.

00:21:34,377 --> 00:21:36,546

[laughter]

00:21:36,671 --> 00:21:39,424

I love you guys.

00:21:39,549 --> 00:21:41,009

gnomes: ♪ Time to go to work,

work all night ♪

00:21:41,134 --> 00:21:43,428

♪ Search for underpants, hey ♪

00:21:43,553 --> 00:21:45,722

♪ We won't stop

until we have underpants ♪

00:21:45,847 --> 00:21:48,016

♪ Yum-tum, yummy-tum-tay ♪

00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:49,600

♪ Time to go to work,

work all night ♪

00:21:49,726 --> 00:21:51,769

♪ Search for underpants, hey ♪

00:21:51,894 --> 00:21:53,271

♪ We won't stop

until we have underpants ♪

00:21:53,396 --> 00:21:55,690

♪ Yum-tum, yummy-tum-tay ♪