Гномы — Друзьям вместе с Твиком надо написать доклад о текущих событиях в городе. Твик предлагает в качестве темы кальсонных гномов, но его отец хочет с помощью детей закрыть конкурирующую кофейню.

Предыдущая серия S02 E16 Счастливого Рождества, Чарли Мэнсон!

Следующая серия S02 E18 Доисторический ледяной человек

Гномы

Gnomes

Сезон: 02Серия: 17

Описание

Друзьям вместе с Твиком надо написать доклад о текущих событиях в городе. Твик предлагает в качестве темы кальсонных гномов, но его отец хочет с помощью детей закрыть конкурирующую кофейню.

Субтитры

00:00:10,386 --> 00:00:11,679 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:00:11,804 --> 00:00:13,472 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:15,266 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:15,391 --> 00:00:17,101 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:17,226 --> 00:00:18,477 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:20,312 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:22,064 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:23,733 ♪ People spouting "howdy, neighbor"! ♪
00:00:23,858 --> 00:00:25,151 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:26,527 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:30,448 --> 00:00:31,824 ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:34,076 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,000 Settle down, children.
00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:42,835 I have some difficult news.
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,421 This is going to make you all very sad.
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:49,467 The school board is considering firing me as your teacher.
00:00:49,592 --> 00:00:51,302 There's a possibility that I'll be let go
00:00:51,427 --> 00:00:54,096 and never allowed to teach you again.
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,681 Yes, Stanley? - That's okay with us.
00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:57,516 Yeah. - Yeah, we don't care.
00:00:57,641 --> 00:00:59,185 No, it isn't, it makes you very sad!
00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:01,103 Now, apparently, the school board thinks
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:02,897 that I don't teach you anything about current events,
00:01:03,022 --> 00:01:05,316 so tomorrow they're gonna have you do presentations
00:01:05,441 --> 00:01:06,525 for the whole board.
00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:09,737 "Current events in South Park."
00:01:09,862 --> 00:01:11,530 Now, I want you all to read a newspaper,
00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:13,324 or, better yet, watch television,
00:01:13,449 --> 00:01:14,909 and come up with something current in South Park
00:01:15,034 --> 00:01:16,202 to do a report on.
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,288 Now, this will be a group project,
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:20,331 so I'm gonna place you all into groups of five.
00:01:20,456 --> 00:01:21,373 Let's see...
00:01:21,499 --> 00:01:23,125 Wendy, Bebe, Clyde,
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,169 Pip, and Token, you'll be group one.
00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:30,341 And group two will be Stan, Kyle, Eric, Kenny, and...
00:01:30,466 --> 00:01:31,759 and Tweek.
00:01:31,884 --> 00:01:33,761 Ah! - Oh, not Tweek.
00:01:33,886 --> 00:01:35,679 We don't want to be in a group with Tweek.
00:01:35,805 --> 00:01:37,306 There's nothing wrong with Tweek.
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:39,100 I bet he'll do a great job in your group.
00:01:39,225 --> 00:01:40,184 I can't take that kind of pressure!
00:01:40,309 --> 00:01:41,727 No, sweet Jesus, please!
00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:43,687 Dude, we can't work with this kid.
00:01:43,813 --> 00:01:45,147 That's what Chad Everett thought
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:46,398 when the new female intern joined
00:01:46,524 --> 00:01:47,817 the cast of "Medical Center."
00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:49,318 He thought, "Who is this woman
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:50,736 with her gazungas and high heels?
00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:52,571 What does she know about medicine?"
00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:54,073 Well, that intern soon saved Chad Everett's brother
00:01:54,198 --> 00:01:56,909 with a kidney transplant, so you see?
00:01:57,034 --> 00:01:58,410 No.
00:01:58,536 --> 00:01:59,703 - Well, let me put it another way.
00:01:59,829 --> 00:02:01,330 You have to give your oral report
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,124 to the entire South Park town committee tomorrow,
00:02:03,249 --> 00:02:04,959 and if it doesn't kick ass and you make me look bad,
00:02:05,084 --> 00:02:07,169 Mr. Hat is gonna smack you bitches up.
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,462 Wah!
00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:17,555 Hello there, customer. - Hello, how are you today?
00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:18,973 Great, what can I get for you?
00:02:19,098 --> 00:02:20,641 Large coffee? Small coffee?
00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:22,601 I'm actually interested in something else.
00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:24,061 I'm John Postum
00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:25,938 from the Harbucks Coffee corporation.
00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:27,731 Oh, you're that corporate guy who's been calling.
00:02:27,857 --> 00:02:29,191 That's right.
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:31,026 How come you don't call me back?
00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:33,904 All we want to do is buy out your coffee shop here.
00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:36,073 Oh, forget it, my store is not for sale.
00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:39,535 My company is prepared to make you a very generous offer.
00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:44,206 This is a Cramsonite briefcase. All leather.
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:45,791 It has four compartments and a keyless lock.
00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:46,834 Interested?
00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:48,377 I don't think so.
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,045 My coffee shop is worth a lot to me.
00:02:50,171 --> 00:02:51,755 All right, how about $500,000?
00:02:51,881 --> 00:02:53,632 The answer is still no, Mr. Postum.
00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:56,218 You see, when my father opened this store 30 years ago,
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,012 he cared about only one thing--
00:02:58,137 --> 00:02:59,847 making a great cup of coffee.
00:02:59,972 --> 00:03:01,640 Sure, we may take a little longer to brew a cup,
00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:03,434 and we may not call it fancy names,
00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:05,227 but I guess we just care a little more.
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,438 And that's why Tweek coffee is still homebrewed
00:03:07,563 --> 00:03:09,231 from the finest beans we can muster.
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:11,859 Yes, Tweek coffee is a simpler coffee,
00:03:11,984 --> 00:03:13,777 for a simpler America.
00:03:13,903 --> 00:03:15,446 Well, that's too bad.
00:03:15,571 --> 00:03:17,281 We're just gonna have to open our Harbucks
00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:18,824 right next door to you.
00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:20,534 But that could put me out of business.
00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:22,661 Hey, this is a capitalist country, pal.
00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:24,121 Get used to it.
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:26,916 Hello, Mr. Tweek.
00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:28,959 - Hi, Officer Barbrady. - Who was that?
00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:31,462 Oh, just some dong. What can I get for you?
00:03:31,587 --> 00:03:33,589 The usual.
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:34,673 Oh!
00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:36,133 Thanks, see you tomorrow.
00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:38,260 Bye-bye.
00:03:41,347 --> 00:03:43,057 Okay, we have to do this stupid report, so--
00:03:43,182 --> 00:03:45,184 Ah!
00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:50,856 So let's figure out what to do it about.
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,277 How about we do it on that Raymond guy on TV?
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,029 You know, everybody loves Raymond.
00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:58,781 No, Cartman, we can't do it on Raymond again!
00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,032 It has to be on a current event in South Park.
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:01,200 Tweek, do you have any ideas?
00:04:01,325 --> 00:04:02,701 Ah! Too much pressure!
00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:04,203 Great. A lot of help you are, kid.
00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:06,038 The gnomes! - What?
00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:07,039 We can do our report on the gnomes.
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:08,749 What gnomes?
00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:10,417 The underpants gnomes, the little guys that...
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:11,835 that come in your room late, late at night,
00:04:11,961 --> 00:04:13,254 and steal your underpants.
00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:16,715 Oh, so that's where all my underpants go!
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,634 - Dude, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,344 - Yeah, I've never seen any underpants gnomes.
00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:21,845 - They come out at 3:30 in the morning.
00:04:21,971 --> 00:04:22,930 Most people aren't up then, but I am.
00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:24,807 I can't sleep... ever.
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:26,642 - We can't do a presentation on underpants gnomes.
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,269 Mr. Garrison will fail us because you're making it up.
00:04:28,394 --> 00:04:29,436 - No, sleep at my house tonight!
00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:30,813 I'll prove it to you.
00:04:32,356 --> 00:04:33,524 They want me to sell the store,
00:04:33,649 --> 00:04:35,276 and it's so much money.
00:04:35,401 --> 00:04:36,735 Some things are more important than money.
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,737 The people of South Park count on you
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:41,323 to give them that first cup of coffee every day.
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,742 I know, but if they open a Harbucks right next
00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:45,411 door, we might go out of business.
00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:48,122 They really have my balls in a vice grip.
00:04:48,247 --> 00:04:50,249 Oh, hello, son. How was your day?
00:04:50,374 --> 00:04:51,750 Ah! - That's good.
00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:53,043 Who are your little friends?
00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:54,336 What do you mean?
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,130 We're his oral report buddies.
00:04:56,255 --> 00:04:57,339 Yeah, we have to stay up all night to write it.
00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:58,674 Well, have some coffee, boys.
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,175 I'll brew up another pot for later.
00:05:00,301 --> 00:05:01,844 Coffee? I don't think I like coffee.
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,554 Oh, you'll like this coffee. It's fresh.
00:05:03,679 --> 00:05:04,972 Country fresh,
00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:06,724 like the morning after a rainstorm.
00:05:06,849 --> 00:05:08,142 Kay... maybe it'll help us figure out
00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:09,685 what to do our report on.
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,061 We have to present it to the entire
00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:12,271 South Park town committee tomorrow.
00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:13,981 - Oh, I've got one for you.
00:05:14,106 --> 00:05:16,150 How about doing a report on how large corporations
00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:18,193 take over little family-owned businesses?
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:20,571 Richard! - No, I'm serious, hon.
00:05:20,696 --> 00:05:22,239 These boys should learn
00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:23,824 how the corporate machine is ruining America.
00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:25,659 You see, I own a coffee shop, and now
00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:27,244 a great big multimillion-dollar company
00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:28,620 is going to move in
00:05:28,746 --> 00:05:30,164 and try to take all my business,
00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:31,707 which means I may have to shut down
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:32,875 and sell my son Tweek into slavery.
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,752 Ah! Slavery?
00:05:34,877 --> 00:05:36,837 Yes, slavery. - Wow, that sucks, dude.
00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:38,797 They really have my balls in a salad shooter.
00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:41,008 We're already doing a paper on Tweek's underpants gnomes.
00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:42,593 Yeah. - Now, Tweek.
00:05:42,718 --> 00:05:44,386 How many times do we have to tell you?
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:46,180 Your underpants are missing because you lose them,
00:05:46,305 --> 00:05:47,931 not because of underpants gnomes.
00:05:48,057 --> 00:05:49,183 Ah! - Come on, you guys.
00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:51,185 We better get to work!
00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:54,021 Okay, but corporate takeovers is a much more fertile subject.
00:05:54,146 --> 00:05:55,898 Honestly, Richard,
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:57,399 I don't see why you have to preach to some eight-year-olds.
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,193 Actually, honey,
00:05:59,318 --> 00:06:00,402 I think those little tykes are just what we need.
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,154 I've got an idea.
00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:06,825 Man, this stuff is strong. - It's kind of bitter.
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:08,410 What if my parents go out of business?
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,204 What'll I do? - Don't worry about it.
00:06:10,329 --> 00:06:12,081 But we'll starve and die like dogs!
00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:13,832 Tweek, Tweek, you can always go on welfare.
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,334 Look at Kenny's family.
00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:16,585 They're perfectly happy being poor
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,003 and on welfare, right, Kenny?
00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:19,797 You suck, Kenny.
00:06:19,922 --> 00:06:21,048 Well, let's just try to finish all this coffee
00:06:21,173 --> 00:06:22,508 so we can stay up.
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,636 Whoo-hoo!
00:06:25,761 --> 00:06:27,930 - Yes! This stuff rocks!
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,681 Totally, dude! I feel awesome!
00:06:29,807 --> 00:06:30,974 Whoopee!
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:34,228 You guys! You guys! Seriously!
00:06:34,353 --> 00:06:35,771 Check me out! I'm a sorcerer!
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,523 Check it out, guys!
00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:39,191 Hey, Tweek, do you have any more of this stuff?
00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:41,151 We just have grounds. - Killer!
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:44,822 Hey, let me have some grounds!
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:48,992 Gross, Cartman! Whoopee!
00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:53,664 Oh, my stomach hurts.
00:06:53,789 --> 00:06:55,582 Yeah, mine too. I wonder why.
00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,167 Well, it's 3:30, and I don't see
00:06:57,292 --> 00:06:58,836 any Goddamn underpants gnomes, Tweek.
00:06:58,961 --> 00:07:00,462 Ah! Maybe it was all in my head!
00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:01,588 Maybe I'm going insane!
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:03,215 Oh, no, I'm going insane!
00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:04,591 Well, this is just great.
00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:05,759 We haven't gotten anything done,
00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:07,344 and we're totally screwed.
00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:08,929 How's the report going, boys? - Bad.
00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:10,514 Oh, do you need some more coffee?
00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:12,975 No... more... coffee.
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,519 Well, boys, I don't mean to pry, but,
00:07:15,644 --> 00:07:18,230 if you want it, I wrote your report for you.
00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:19,898 You did?!
00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:21,358 Yes, it's all about corporate takeovers.
00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:23,444 Of course, you don't have to use it.
00:07:23,569 --> 00:07:24,987 No, we'll use it!
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,113 All right, and it can be our little secret
00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:27,114 about who wrote it, right?
00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:28,574 Sure!
00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:30,659 Now, when you give the report,
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,411 just make sure that you read this part first, all right?
00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:35,164 There they are.
00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:37,124 And then someone should do
00:07:37,249 --> 00:07:38,792 the second part and really, really play it up.
00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:40,210 Really, really play the sympathy angle.
00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:41,795 They'll like that.
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,046 You'll probably get a passing grade for that.
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,717 You guys, look, look, you're missing it!
00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:49,344 ♪ We won't stop until we have underpants ♪
00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:51,472 Ah, they took 'em again! - Thanks, dude!
00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:53,140 My pleasure. Good night, boys.
00:07:53,265 --> 00:07:54,975 Wow, Tweek, your dad rocks.
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,268 Why do they torture me like this?!
00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:58,020 Why can't they leave me alone?!
00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,396 Damn it, what the hell is wrong with you, Tweek?
00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:00,981 They took my underpants again.
00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:02,983 Soon they'll want my blood... blood!
00:08:09,198 --> 00:08:11,950 "And as the voluminous corporate automaton
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:14,328 bulldozes its way through bantam America..."
00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:16,079 "What will become
00:08:16,205 --> 00:08:19,041 of the endeavoring American family?"
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,001 I don't think they wrote this, Mr. Hat.
00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:23,420 "Perhaps there is no stopping the corporate machine."
00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:24,713 Ah!
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,548 - And that's our report. I guess.
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:29,092 Well, boys, it's obvious that you didn't even--
00:08:29,218 --> 00:08:31,470 Great job! - Yes, great job.
00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:33,180 Boys, you have really opened our eyes.
00:08:33,305 --> 00:08:35,474 We didn't even know this was happening.
00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:37,017 Neither did we.
00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:38,060 Well, Mr. Garrison, it looks like
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:39,811 we were wrong about you.
00:08:39,937 --> 00:08:41,480 You really are teaching these kids something.
00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:42,940 Yeah, well, I don't want to sound
00:08:43,065 --> 00:08:44,399 like a dick hole, but I told you so.
00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:45,901 I am really moved.
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,986 I say we follow these boys' cause.
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:51,031 Let's join them in the fight against corporate takeovers!
00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:52,741 Lead the way, boys!
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,576 Huh? - Ah, too much pressure!
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,789 - Good! Good!
00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:01,959 Now, make sure that sign is really bright and flashy, now!
00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:04,795 - My goodness, that's going to be a huge coffeehouse, honey.
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:06,380 - Yes, it is.
00:09:06,505 --> 00:09:08,215 They really have my balls in a juicemaker.
00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:10,676 Oh, hello, son. Uh, how did your report go?
00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:12,219 Wah! - I think it went really good.
00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:13,637 Those people really got into it.
00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,639 Really?
00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:17,182 Well, son, you might have just saved the family business.
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:18,809 What do you have to say about that?
00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,811 I need coffee! - I know how you boys feel.
00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:23,522 Sometimes a hot cup of French roast amaretto
00:09:23,647 --> 00:09:25,399 is just what a man needs to get him through the day.
00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:27,025 That smooth aroma and mild taste
00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:30,028 is what makes Tweek coffee so very special,
00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:33,407 special like an Arizona sunrise or a juniper wet with dew,
00:09:33,532 --> 00:09:35,033 a light rain in the middle of a dusty afternoon
00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:36,368 or a hug from your dear old auntie--
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:37,869 Dad! - What?
00:09:37,995 --> 00:09:39,538 The metaphors, man. - Oh, sorry.
00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:41,081 Here you go.
00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:42,082 Hey, do you ever think maybe you shouldn't
00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:43,208 give your son coffee?
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:44,668 Like how do you mean?
00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:46,044 Like look at him.
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:47,254 He's always shaking and nervous.
00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:48,880 Oh, that.
00:09:49,006 --> 00:09:50,507 He has ADD, attention deficit disorder.
00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,843 That's why he's so jittery all the time.
00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:53,844 Mr. Tweek.
00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:55,929 We've only just heard.
00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:58,223 Oh, hello, committee members. What a surprise.
00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,225 So this is the corporate bulldozer
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:01,893 trying to push you off the map?
00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:04,021 Yes, how did you hear?
00:10:04,146 --> 00:10:05,606 These boys did an excellent report for us this morning.
00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:07,858 They're so upset by this whole thing.
00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:09,860 My butt hurts. - Don't worry, Mr. Tweek.
00:10:09,985 --> 00:10:11,653 This committee is not going to let you
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:14,072 be run out of business by these bastards!
00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:15,866 You hear that?!
00:10:15,991 --> 00:10:17,451 You're not gonna get away with this, you whore!
00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:18,869 Excuse me?
00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:20,662 Boys, we've talked it over,
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,748 and we want you to take your case to the mayor.
00:10:22,873 --> 00:10:24,458 Our case? - Ah! No way, man!
00:10:24,583 --> 00:10:25,834 That is way too much pressure!
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,377 Oh, you'll do fine, son.
00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:29,004 Come on, boys, let's go!
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,047 - Aw, man, this sucks!
00:10:30,172 --> 00:10:31,381 - Ah!
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,677 And we would have never even known that this was happening
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:38,180 if not for these boys' excellent report.
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:39,890 You're telling me that students
00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:41,683 from Mr. Garrison's class actually did something
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:44,144 that had some kind of relevance to the world?
00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:45,937 That's right.
00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:47,564 Mr. Garrison, the guy with the puppet?
00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:48,815 Yes.
00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:50,400 Well, I must say, Garrison,
00:10:50,525 --> 00:10:51,777 perhaps you're not as stupid and crazy
00:10:51,902 --> 00:10:52,819 as I always tell people you are.
00:10:52,944 --> 00:10:54,529 Thank you, Mayor.
00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:55,906 I don't want to sound like a dick hole, but I--
00:10:56,031 --> 00:10:57,532 Mayor, these boys want
00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:58,742 that Harbucks Coffee shut down right now!
00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:00,285 Yeah! - Yeah!
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:01,411 - Well, I can't just shut them down.
00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:02,704 This is a free country.
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,498 - But they're ruining our city!
00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:06,041 - Look, the best I can do is create a proposition.
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,542 We'll call it Prop 10.
00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:09,503 The town can vote on it, and if it passes,
00:11:09,628 --> 00:11:10,629 we'll see what we can do.
00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:11,713 Hooray!
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:12,923 - What do you say, boys?
00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:14,508 We're gonna pass a law!
00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:16,551 Uh... hooray.
00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:18,261 So I guess you want to do some campaigning.
00:11:18,387 --> 00:11:20,263 You can do commercials and things like that,
00:11:20,389 --> 00:11:22,140 and then we'll have a vote in the middle of town,
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:24,476 and obviously if more than 50% of the people...
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:26,395 Ah!
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:29,147 ...And want Harbucks out, then they're out.
00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:31,733 So good luck to you.
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:33,026 Didn't you see them?
00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,569 All right, what's next?
00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:37,155 Next is Issue 37D, missing underpants.
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,032 Is it cold in here?
00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:40,951 Oh, boys, could I have a quick this-and-that with you?
00:11:41,076 --> 00:11:42,953 Boys, I don't know who wrote that report,
00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:44,538 but now that you've convinced everybody,
00:11:44,663 --> 00:11:46,039 you better stick with it,
00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:47,541 'cause if these people find out
00:11:47,666 --> 00:11:48,750 you didn't really write that paper
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,460 and I actually do get fired,
00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:53,755 then Mr. Hat is gonna do horrible things to you.
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,382 Oh, not that, Mr. Hat!
00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:57,551 That's really horrible!
00:11:57,676 --> 00:12:00,429 Anyway, good luck passing your new law, boys.
00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:02,472 Jesus, man, Jesus! What are we gonna do, huh?
00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:04,975 <i>- Live! It's the South Park town hall meeting</i>
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:06,560 <i>on public access!</i>
00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:08,562 <i>Tonight's topic, Prop 10!</i>
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,774 Should Harbucks be allowed to open a store in South Park?
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:13,775 That's tonight's topic.
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,152 On my left,
00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:16,778 five innocent, starry-eyed boys
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:18,697 from Middle America.
00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:21,032 On my right, a big fat smelly corporate guy from New York.
00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:24,578 Hey, I'm not fat or smelly!
00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:26,121 All right, Mr. Douchebag.
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,206 Postum! - Oh, pardon me, Mr. Ass Face.
00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:30,167 Anyway, let's hear your side of the argument.
00:12:30,292 --> 00:12:32,586 My argument is simple.
00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:35,213 This country is founded on free enterprise.
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,759 Harbucks is an organization that...
00:12:38,884 --> 00:12:40,677 An organization that prides itself
00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:42,262 on great coffee!
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:45,307 We simply want-- ah, to hell with you!
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:46,850 Okay, Uck-Up-Fay,
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,435 Now, for the other side of the argument,
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:51,062 we turn to our young, handsome lads.
00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:53,273 Boys, your thoughts?
00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:55,942 Come on, boys, don't be shy.
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,319 What's your principal argument?
00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:03,241 Uh... - Uh...
00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:04,659 This guy sucks ass!
00:13:07,162 --> 00:13:08,246 Great argument! You win, boys!
00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:09,414 What?!
00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:11,291 That was close, Mr. Hat.
00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:14,836 <i>What is the future of America?</i>
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:16,463 <i>Is it the money we make?</i>
00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:18,048 <i>The quests we conquer?</i>
00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:20,258 <i>No. It's children.</i>
00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:23,845 <i>So what do children have to say about Prop 10?</i>
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,639 <i>I don't like big corporations.</i>
00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:27,641 <i>I like small businesses.</i>
00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:31,269 <i>I believe in the family-owned enterprise.</i>
00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:31,894 <i>- Ah!</i>
00:13:35,607 --> 00:13:38,485 <i>It's time to stop large corporations.</i>
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:40,487 <i>Prop 10 is about children.</i>
00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:44,491 <i>Vote yes on Prop 10, or else you hate children.</i>
00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:49,079 <i>You don't hate children... do you?</i>
00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:52,290 <i>Remember, keep American business small,</i>
00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:53,875 <i>or else.</i>
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,877 <i>Paid for by Citizens for a Fair</i>
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,879 <i>and Equal Way to Get Harbucks Coffee</i>
00:13:58,004 --> 00:14:01,049 <i>Kicked Out of Town Forever.</i>
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,676 - Well? What do you think?
00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:04,052 Wow, it's great!
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:05,595 Yes, it is!
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,013 We'll put it on the air immediately!
00:14:07,138 --> 00:14:08,682 What do you think, hon?
00:14:08,807 --> 00:14:10,433 Hon? What's the matter?
00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:12,477 I have a big problem with this.
00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:14,145 What do you mean?
00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:15,897 We're just using those boys for our benefit.
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:17,941 They have no idea what they're saying.
00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:20,277 - But kids are great to get people on our side.
00:14:20,402 --> 00:14:22,904 You don't just throw a child in a political commercial
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,322 to sell your beliefs.
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:27,117 I won't be a part of this anymore.
00:14:27,242 --> 00:14:29,119 Honey, all's fair in love and war.
00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:30,704 And coffee.
00:14:30,829 --> 00:14:32,330 Hon? Hon?
00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:37,544 Take your corporate coffee
00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:39,546 and go back to New York City!
00:14:40,839 --> 00:14:42,716 It's people like you
00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:46,219 who are ruining Main Street, USA!
00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:48,346 How many Native Americans did you slaughter
00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:51,141 to make that coffee, huh?
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:54,936 Damn, these people aren't buying any coffee.
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:57,480 I'll have to try and appeal to the younger crowd.
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:00,942 Hey, kids, I'm Camel Joe,
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:03,486 and I love a fresh cup of coffee.
00:15:03,612 --> 00:15:05,363 It's yum-diddly-iscious.
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,741 And it makes you feel super!
00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:10,744 I have a surprise for you.
00:15:10,869 --> 00:15:13,163 The new kiddie-cino from Harbucks!
00:15:13,288 --> 00:15:15,582 More sugar and all the other goodies kids like
00:15:15,707 --> 00:15:18,585 with all the caffeine of a normal double latte.
00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:20,754 No, Billy, no coffee for you.
00:15:20,879 --> 00:15:22,964 You should be ashamed of yourself.
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:25,967 Using cartoons to push caffeine on children!
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:27,385 Why don't you go back to the hole
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:28,970 you crawled out from, lady?
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,764 Uh, Mr. Postum, I'm afraid you've got
00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:33,433 a lot to learn about making coffee.
00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:35,352 Oh, and you don't?
00:15:35,477 --> 00:15:37,395 Your coffee tastes like three-day-old moldy diarrhea.
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,189 I'm sorry to inform you that this town
00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:40,982 is having a vote tomorrow, and if the law passes,
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:42,776 you're gonna be thrown out of town.
00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:44,235 What?!
00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:45,236 At 5:00, the best coffee wins:
00:15:45,362 --> 00:15:46,821 either your coffee
00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:49,032 or a fresh warm cup of Tweek's coffee.
00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:50,992 Like an old sweater that keeps getting warmer with age,
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,161 you can count on Tweek's coffee to start your day.
00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:56,414 Tomorrow for the Prop 10 vote,
00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:58,667 we'll set up ballot booths... here.
00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:00,001 All right, and then we'll throw up the stage here.
00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:01,419 Before the vote,
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:02,420 we'll get a band everyone likes,
00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:04,005 like, uh, like...
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,632 Toto. - Like Toto.
00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:07,425 And then the Harbucks guy will have
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:09,219 five minutes to speak, and the boys will have
00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:10,804 five minutes to speak, and then the town votes!
00:16:10,929 --> 00:16:12,597 - Uh, boys, you better get your asses to work.
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,140 What now?
00:16:14,265 --> 00:16:15,225 They're expecting you to give a big speech
00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:16,810 on corporate takeovers,
00:16:16,935 --> 00:16:18,353 and this time it has to last five minutes.
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:19,813 Oh, God! When is this gonna end?
00:16:19,938 --> 00:16:21,606 Your dad really screwed us, Tweek.
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:23,525 Jesus, dude! I'm to blame for all this!
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:24,943 I'm to blame for everything!
00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:30,407 So what are we gonna say?
00:16:30,532 --> 00:16:32,117 Why can't we just read the paper we wrote last time?
00:16:32,242 --> 00:16:33,159 'Cause then they'll know we didn't write it, dummy!
00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:34,786 We have to be original.
00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:36,121 - Does anybody know anything about corporations?
00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:39,791 ♪ Search for underpants, hey ♪
00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:41,251 I think my mom is a corporation.
00:16:41,376 --> 00:16:42,335 Yeah, that makes sense.
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:44,170 You guys! Shh!
00:16:44,295 --> 00:16:45,964 Well, how about we just say, corporate should be stopped.
00:16:46,089 --> 00:16:47,465 How do we stretch that into five minutes?
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:49,426 They're taking my underpants!
00:16:49,551 --> 00:16:50,510 - Will you stop with the underpants gnomes, Tweek?
00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:51,845 We have to work here!
00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:53,430 Ah!
00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:55,932 What the hell?
00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:57,892 Well, I'll be damned.
00:16:58,018 --> 00:16:59,728 That's my last pair of underpants!
00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:05,483 Shh, don't scare him.
00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:07,110 Hey there, little guy.
00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:08,319 Bad!
00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:10,196 Cartman! - What?
00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:12,032 Why do you always have to hit stuff with a stick?
00:17:12,157 --> 00:17:13,825 Well, look at him, he's all, you know... look at him.
00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:15,076 Is that all you got, pussy?
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,369 What? - Hey, he talked.
00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:17,746 Yeah, he called me a pussy.
00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:18,913 I'm not a pussy! You're a pussy!
00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:20,790 You're a pussy, pussy!
00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:22,584 Dude, why are you taking Tweek's underpants?
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,294 Yeah, look what you're doing to this poor kid.
00:17:24,419 --> 00:17:26,087 Stealing underpants, big business!
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,089 Business? Wait, do you know anything about business?
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:29,632 Sure, that's what gnomes do!
00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:31,551 Show us! - Okay, follow me!
00:17:33,428 --> 00:17:35,221 Little pussy gnome. Don't call me a pussy.
00:17:35,346 --> 00:17:36,222 Pussy gnome.
00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:40,101 - Not much longer now!
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:41,728 Are you taking us to your little pussy house?
00:17:41,853 --> 00:17:42,896 No, pussy, I'm taking you to my village.
00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:44,355 Oh, your pussy village?
00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:45,398 Cartman, will you just shut up
00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:47,317 and let him show us?
00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:48,777 Follow me!
00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:49,903 I hope we're not wasting our time
00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:51,071 with this little pecker.
00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:57,744 - Well, it looks like Harbucks will never make it
00:17:57,869 --> 00:17:59,079 in this town.
00:17:59,204 --> 00:18:00,580 All right, boys, that's it!
00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:02,332 Pack it up! We're moving out of town!
00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:04,459 - Aw, but we just finished!
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,628 - I know, but these folks obviously don't want us here.
00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,797 - But what will become of us?
00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:11,132 - Oh, quit being so melodramatic, Sanchez.
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:13,885 Jesus Christ.
00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:16,262 - Damn, dude, this place is huge.
00:18:16,387 --> 00:18:18,181 - Yeah, it's almost as big as Cartman's ass.
00:18:18,306 --> 00:18:20,100 - No, it isn't, you guys.
00:18:20,225 --> 00:18:22,268 - This is where all our work is done.
00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:23,728 - So what are you gonna do
00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:25,396 with all these underpants you steal?
00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:26,940 Collecting underpants is just phase one.
00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:28,775 Phase one, collect underpants.
00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:31,027 So what's phase two?
00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:35,949 Hey, what's phase two?
00:18:36,074 --> 00:18:37,992 Phase one, we collect underpants.
00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:40,537 Yeah, yeah, yeah, but what about phase two?
00:18:42,914 --> 00:18:45,416 Well, phase three is profit! Get it?
00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:47,085 I don't get it.
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:48,795 You see, phase one, collect underpants.
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:50,964 Phase two...
00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:52,549 Phase three, profit!
00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:53,591 Oh, I get it.
00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:55,385 No you don't, fat-ass!
00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:56,719 Do you guys know anything about corporations?
00:18:56,845 --> 00:18:58,179 You bet we do!
00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:00,390 Us gnomes are geniuses at corporations!
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,644 Jesus Christ, look out!
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:07,647 Oh, my God, they killed Kenny.
00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:09,232 You bastards. Listen.
00:19:09,357 --> 00:19:10,400 We have to give a huge speech tomorrow
00:19:10,525 --> 00:19:11,818 about corporate takeovers.
00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:13,695 Holy shit! We killed your friend!
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,530 Yeah, yeah, yeah, look, we gotta know
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,240 about corporate takeovers tomorrow, or we're screwed.
00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:19,284 Christ! We squished him like a bug!
00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:21,411 - Do you know anything about corporate takeovers?
00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:23,121 Well, we can explain that to you easily.
00:19:23,246 --> 00:19:24,706 Yes, for a price. - What?
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,249 You know. - Underpants?
00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:27,750 Underpants!
00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:35,425 Toto, ladies and gentlemen!
00:19:35,550 --> 00:19:39,512 Yeah, Toto! Whoo, Toto! Whoo!
00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:41,014 All right, and now,
00:19:41,139 --> 00:19:42,640 before we all vote yes on Prop 10,
00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:44,225 here to remind us why
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:45,810 are the lovable, innocent children.
00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:50,857 - Since we are so concerned with the corporate takeovers,
00:19:50,982 --> 00:19:53,234 we went and asked our friends the underpants gnomes,
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,028 and they told us all about big corporations.
00:19:55,153 --> 00:19:58,448 Underpants gnomes? - Big corporations are good!
00:19:58,573 --> 00:20:00,200 What? - Good?
00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:01,659 Because, without big corporations,
00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:03,203 we wouldn't have things
00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:04,871 like cars and computers and canned soup.
00:20:04,996 --> 00:20:06,206 Even Harbucks Coffee started off
00:20:06,331 --> 00:20:07,707 as a small little business,
00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:09,459 but because it made such great coffee
00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:11,252 and because they ran their business so well,
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:12,879 they managed to grow and grow until it became
00:20:13,004 --> 00:20:14,881 the corporate powerhouse it is today.
00:20:15,006 --> 00:20:17,467 And that is why we should all let Harbucks stay!
00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:22,138 That's not what you said last time!
00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:23,681 Uh... well, the truth is,
00:20:23,806 --> 00:20:25,308 we didn't write that paper last time.
00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:27,268 You little turd!
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:30,897 You ruined my life for the last time!
00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:36,402 These boys are absolutely right.
00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:38,404 We've been using these poor kids
00:20:38,529 --> 00:20:39,489 to pull at your heartstrings for our cause,
00:20:39,614 --> 00:20:41,157 and it's wrong.
00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:42,909 We're as low and despicable as Rob Reiner.
00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:44,494 You keep protesting and complaining,
00:20:44,619 --> 00:20:46,079 but did any of you ever even bother
00:20:46,204 --> 00:20:48,039 to taste Harbucks Coffee?
00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:52,085 Harbucks Coffee got to where it is by being the best.
00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:55,922 Don't you think you should at least try it?
00:20:58,633 --> 00:21:01,511 Hey! This is pretty damn good!
00:21:01,636 --> 00:21:04,305 Yeah, it doesn't have that bland, raw sewage taste
00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:06,057 that Tweek's coffee has.
00:21:08,643 --> 00:21:10,979 Hey... hey, that is good.
00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:12,313 It's a French roast.
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:14,315 It's subtle and mild.
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:17,318 Mild like that first splash of sun on an April morning.
00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:19,320 This coffee is coffee the way it should be.
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:21,322 Hey, no hard feelings, Tweek.
00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:23,324 You know, we still need someone to run
00:21:23,449 --> 00:21:25,118 this Harbucks coffeehouse.
00:21:25,243 --> 00:21:27,537 I'm sure it will make a lot of money.
00:21:27,662 --> 00:21:29,539 Thank you, Mr. Postum, but I think we'll be fine
00:21:29,664 --> 00:21:32,083 with the money we make selling our son into slavery.
00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:34,252 Ah! - Just kidding, son.
00:21:36,671 --> 00:21:39,424 I love you guys.
00:21:39,549 --> 00:21:41,009 <i>♪ Time to go to work, work all night ♪</i>
00:21:41,134 --> 00:21:43,428 <i>♪ Search for underpants, hey ♪</i>
00:21:43,553 --> 00:21:45,722 <i>♪ We won't stop until we have underpants ♪</i>
00:21:45,847 --> 00:21:48,016 <i>♪ Yum-tum, yummy-tum-tay ♪</i>
00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:49,600 <i>♪ Time to go to work, work all night ♪</i>
00:21:49,726 --> 00:21:51,769 <i>♪ Search for underpants, hey ♪</i>
00:21:51,894 --> 00:21:53,271 <i>♪ We won't stop until we have underpants ♪</i>
00:21:53,396 --> 00:21:55,690 <i>♪ Yum-tum, yummy-tum-tay ♪</i>

00:00:10,386 --> 00:00:11,679 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:00:11,804 --> 00:00:13,472 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:15,266 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:15,391 --> 00:00:17,101 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:17,226 --> 00:00:18,477 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:20,312 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:22,064 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:23,733 ♪ People spouting "howdy, neighbor"! ♪
00:00:23,858 --> 00:00:25,151 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:26,527 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:26,652 --> 00:00:30,322 ♪ [muffled] ♪
00:00:30,448 --> 00:00:31,824 ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:34,076 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:37,371 ♪♪
00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:39,415 [children laughing and screaming]
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,000 Settle down, children.
00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:42,835 I have some difficult news.
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,421 This is going to make you all very sad.
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:49,467 The school board is considering firing me as your teacher.
00:00:49,592 --> 00:00:51,302 There's a possibility that I'll be let go
00:00:51,427 --> 00:00:54,096 and never allowed to teach you again.
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,681 Yes, Stanley? - That's okay with us.
00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:57,516 Yeah. - Yeah, we don't care.
00:00:57,641 --> 00:00:59,185 No, it isn't, it makes you very sad!
00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:01,103 Now, apparently, the school board thinks
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:02,897 that I don't teach you anything about current events,
00:01:03,022 --> 00:01:05,316 so tomorrow they're gonna have you do presentations
00:01:05,441 --> 00:01:06,525 for the whole board.
00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:07,818 [all moaning]
00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:09,737 "Current events in South Park."
00:01:09,862 --> 00:01:11,530 Now, I want you all to read a newspaper,
00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:13,324 or, better yet, watch television,
00:01:13,449 --> 00:01:14,909 and come up with something current in South Park
00:01:15,034 --> 00:01:16,202 to do a report on.
00:01:16,327 --> 00:01:17,536 [all moaning]
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,288 Now, this will be a group project,
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:20,331 so I'm gonna place you all into groups of five.
00:01:20,456 --> 00:01:21,373 Let's see...
00:01:21,499 --> 00:01:23,125 Wendy, Bebe, Clyde,
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,169 Pip, and Token, you'll be group one.
00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:30,341 And group two will be Stan, Kyle, Eric, Kenny, and...
00:01:30,466 --> 00:01:31,759 and Tweek.
00:01:31,884 --> 00:01:33,761 Ah! - Oh, not Tweek.
00:01:33,886 --> 00:01:35,679 We don't want to be in a group with Tweek.
00:01:35,805 --> 00:01:37,306 There's nothing wrong with Tweek.
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:39,100 I bet he'll do a great job in your group.
00:01:39,225 --> 00:01:40,184 I can't take that kind of pressure!
00:01:40,309 --> 00:01:41,727 No, sweet Jesus, please!
00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:43,687 Dude, we can't work with this kid.
00:01:43,813 --> 00:01:45,147 That's what Chad Everett thought
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:46,398 when the new female intern joined
00:01:46,524 --> 00:01:47,817 the cast of "Medical Center."
00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:49,318 He thought, "Who is this woman
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:50,736 with her gazungas and high heels?
00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:52,571 What does she know about medicine?"
00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:54,073 Well, that intern soon saved Chad Everett's brother
00:01:54,198 --> 00:01:56,909 with a kidney transplant, so you see?
00:01:57,034 --> 00:01:58,410 No.
00:01:58,536 --> 00:01:59,703 - Well, let me put it another way.
00:01:59,829 --> 00:02:01,330 You have to give your oral report
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,124 to the entire South Park town committee tomorrow,
00:02:03,249 --> 00:02:04,959 and if it doesn't kick ass and you make me look bad,
00:02:05,084 --> 00:02:07,169 Mr. Hat is gonna smack you bitches up.
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,462 Wah!
00:02:08,587 --> 00:02:13,050 ♪♪
00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:17,555 Hello there, customer. - Hello, how are you today?
00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:18,973 Great, what can I get for you?
00:02:19,098 --> 00:02:20,641 Large coffee? Small coffee?
00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:22,601 I'm actually interested in something else.
00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:24,061 I'm John Postum
00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:25,938 from the Harbucks Coffee corporation.
00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:27,731 Oh, you're that corporate guy who's been calling.
00:02:27,857 --> 00:02:29,191 That's right.
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:31,026 How come you don't call me back?
00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:33,904 All we want to do is buy out your coffee shop here.
00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:36,073 Oh, forget it, my store is not for sale.
00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:39,535 My company is prepared to make you a very generous offer.
00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:44,206 This is a Cramsonite briefcase. All leather.
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:45,791 It has four compartments and a keyless lock.
00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:46,834 Interested?
00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:48,377 I don't think so.
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,045 My coffee shop is worth a lot to me.
00:02:50,171 --> 00:02:51,755 All right, how about $500,000?
00:02:51,881 --> 00:02:53,632 The answer is still no, Mr. Postum.
00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:56,218 You see, when my father opened this store 30 years ago,
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,012 he cared about only one thing--
00:02:58,137 --> 00:02:59,847 making a great cup of coffee.
00:02:59,972 --> 00:03:01,640 Sure, we may take a little longer to brew a cup,
00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:03,434 and we may not call it fancy names,
00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:05,227 but I guess we just care a little more.
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,438 And that's why Tweek coffee is still homebrewed
00:03:07,563 --> 00:03:09,231 from the finest beans we can muster.
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:11,859 Yes, Tweek coffee is a simpler coffee,
00:03:11,984 --> 00:03:13,777 for a simpler America.
00:03:13,903 --> 00:03:15,446 Well, that's too bad.
00:03:15,571 --> 00:03:17,281 We're just gonna have to open our Harbucks
00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:18,824 right next door to you.
00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:20,534 But that could put me out of business.
00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:22,661 Hey, this is a capitalist country, pal.
00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:24,121 Get used to it.
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:26,916 Hello, Mr. Tweek.
00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:28,959 - Hi, Officer Barbrady. - Who was that?
00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:31,462 Oh, just some dong. What can I get for you?
00:03:31,587 --> 00:03:33,589 The usual. [cat meows]
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:34,673 Oh!
00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:36,133 Thanks, see you tomorrow.
00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:38,260 Bye-bye.
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:41,222 ♪♪
00:03:41,347 --> 00:03:43,057 Okay, we have to do this stupid report, so--
00:03:43,182 --> 00:03:45,184 Ah!
00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:50,856 So let's figure out what to do it about.
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,277 How about we do it on that Raymond guy on TV?
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,029 You know, everybody loves Raymond.
00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:58,781 No, Cartman, we can't do it on Raymond again!
00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,032 It has to be on a current event in South Park.
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:01,200 Tweek, do you have any ideas?
00:04:01,325 --> 00:04:02,701 Ah! Too much pressure!
00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:04,203 Great. A lot of help you are, kid.
00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:06,038 The gnomes! - What?
00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:07,039 We can do our report on the gnomes.
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:08,749 What gnomes?
00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:10,417 The underpants gnomes, the little guys that...
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:11,835 that come in your room late, late at night,
00:04:11,961 --> 00:04:13,254 and steal your underpants.
00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:16,715 Oh, so that's where all my underpants go!
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,634 - Dude, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,344 - Yeah, I've never seen any underpants gnomes.
00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:21,845 - They come out at 3:30 in the morning.
00:04:21,971 --> 00:04:22,930 Most people aren't up then, but I am.
00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:24,807 I can't sleep... ever.
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:26,642 - We can't do a presentation on underpants gnomes.
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,269 Mr. Garrison will fail us because you're making it up.
00:04:28,394 --> 00:04:29,436 - No, sleep at my house tonight!
00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:30,813 I'll prove it to you.
00:04:32,356 --> 00:04:33,524 They want me to sell the store,
00:04:33,649 --> 00:04:35,276 and it's so much money.
00:04:35,401 --> 00:04:36,735 Some things are more important than money.
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,737 The people of South Park count on you
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:41,323 to give them that first cup of coffee every day.
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,742 I know, but if they open a Harbucks right next
00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:45,411 door, we might go out of business.
00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:48,122 They really have my balls in a vice grip.
00:04:48,247 --> 00:04:50,249 Oh, hello, son. How was your day?
00:04:50,374 --> 00:04:51,750 Ah! - That's good.
00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:53,043 Who are your little friends?
00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:54,336 What do you mean?
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,130 We're his oral report buddies.
00:04:56,255 --> 00:04:57,339 Yeah, we have to stay up all night to write it.
00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:58,674 Well, have some coffee, boys.
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,175 I'll brew up another pot for later.
00:05:00,301 --> 00:05:01,844 Coffee? I don't think I like coffee.
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,554 Oh, you'll like this coffee. It's fresh.
00:05:03,679 --> 00:05:04,972 Country fresh,
00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:06,724 like the morning after a rainstorm.
00:05:06,849 --> 00:05:08,142 Kay... maybe it'll help us figure out
00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:09,685 what to do our report on.
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,061 We have to present it to the entire
00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:12,271 South Park town committee tomorrow.
00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:13,981 - Oh, I've got one for you.
00:05:14,106 --> 00:05:16,150 How about doing a report on how large corporations
00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:18,193 take over little family-owned businesses?
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:20,571 Richard! - No, I'm serious, hon.
00:05:20,696 --> 00:05:22,239 These boys should learn
00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:23,824 how the corporate machine is ruining America.
00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:25,659 You see, I own a coffee shop, and now
00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:27,244 a great big multimillion-dollar company
00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:28,620 is going to move in
00:05:28,746 --> 00:05:30,164 and try to take all my business,
00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:31,707 which means I may have to shut down
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:32,875 and sell my son Tweek into slavery.
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,752 Ah! Slavery?
00:05:34,877 --> 00:05:36,837 Yes, slavery. - Wow, that sucks, dude.
00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:38,797 They really have my balls in a salad shooter.
00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:41,008 We're already doing a paper on Tweek's underpants gnomes.
00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:42,593 Yeah. - Now, Tweek.
00:05:42,718 --> 00:05:44,386 How many times do we have to tell you?
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:46,180 Your underpants are missing because you lose them,
00:05:46,305 --> 00:05:47,931 not because of underpants gnomes.
00:05:48,057 --> 00:05:49,183 Ah! - Come on, you guys.
00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:51,185 We better get to work!
00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:54,021 Okay, but corporate takeovers is a much more fertile subject.
00:05:54,146 --> 00:05:55,898 Honestly, Richard,
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:57,399 I don't see why you have to preach to some eight-year-olds.
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,193 Actually, honey,
00:05:59,318 --> 00:06:00,402 I think those little tykes are just what we need.
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,154 I've got an idea.
00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:06,825 Man, this stuff is strong. - It's kind of bitter.
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:08,410 What if my parents go out of business?
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,204 What'll I do? - Don't worry about it.
00:06:10,329 --> 00:06:12,081 But we'll starve and die like dogs!
00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:13,832 Tweek, Tweek, you can always go on welfare.
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,334 Look at Kenny's family.
00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:16,585 They're perfectly happy being poor
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,003 and on welfare, right, Kenny?
00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:19,797 [muffled] - You suck, Kenny.
00:06:19,922 --> 00:06:21,048 Well, let's just try to finish all this coffee
00:06:21,173 --> 00:06:22,508 so we can stay up.
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,636 [muffled] - Whoo-hoo!
00:06:25,761 --> 00:06:27,930 - Yes! This stuff rocks!
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,681 Totally, dude! I feel awesome!
00:06:29,807 --> 00:06:30,974 Whoopee!
00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:32,434 [muffled]
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:34,228 You guys! You guys! Seriously!
00:06:34,353 --> 00:06:35,771 Check me out! I'm a sorcerer!
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,523 Check it out, guys!
00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:39,191 Hey, Tweek, do you have any more of this stuff?
00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:41,151 We just have grounds. - Killer!
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:44,822 Hey, let me have some grounds!
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:48,992 Gross, Cartman! Whoopee!
00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:53,664 Oh, my stomach hurts.
00:06:53,789 --> 00:06:55,582 Yeah, mine too. I wonder why.
00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,167 Well, it's 3:30, and I don't see
00:06:57,292 --> 00:06:58,836 any Goddamn underpants gnomes, Tweek.
00:06:58,961 --> 00:07:00,462 Ah! Maybe it was all in my head!
00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:01,588 Maybe I'm going insane!
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:03,215 Oh, no, I'm going insane!
00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:04,591 Well, this is just great.
00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:05,759 We haven't gotten anything done,
00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:07,344 and we're totally screwed.
00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:08,929 How's the report going, boys? - Bad.
00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:10,514 Oh, do you need some more coffee?
00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:12,975 [all groaning] No... more... coffee.
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,519 Well, boys, I don't mean to pry, but,
00:07:15,644 --> 00:07:18,230 if you want it, I wrote your report for you.
00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:19,898 [all] You did?!
00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:21,358 Yes, it's all about corporate takeovers.
00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:23,444 Of course, you don't have to use it.
00:07:23,569 --> 00:07:24,987 No, we'll use it!
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,113 All right, and it can be our little secret
00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:27,114 about who wrote it, right?
00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:28,574 Sure!
00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:30,659 Now, when you give the report,
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,411 just make sure that you read this part first, all right?
00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:33,954 [gnomes singing indistinctly]
00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:35,164 There they are.
00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:37,124 And then someone should do
00:07:37,249 --> 00:07:38,792 the second part and really, really play it up.
00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:40,210 Really, really play the sympathy angle.
00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:41,795 They'll like that.
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,046 You'll probably get a passing grade for that.
00:07:43,172 --> 00:07:44,715 [gnomes singing]
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,717 You guys, look, look, you're missing it!
00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:49,344 [all] ♪ We won't stop until we have underpants ♪
00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:51,472 Ah, they took 'em again! - Thanks, dude!
00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:53,140 My pleasure. Good night, boys.
00:07:53,265 --> 00:07:54,975 Wow, Tweek, your dad rocks.
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,268 Why do they torture me like this?!
00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:58,020 Why can't they leave me alone?!
00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,396 Damn it, what the hell is wrong with you, Tweek?
00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:00,981 They took my underpants again.
00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:02,983 Soon they'll want my blood... blood!
00:08:09,198 --> 00:08:11,950 "And as the voluminous corporate automaton
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:14,328 bulldozes its way through bantam America..."
00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:16,079 "What will become
00:08:16,205 --> 00:08:19,041 of the endeavoring American family?"
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,001 I don't think they wrote this, Mr. Hat.
00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:23,420 "Perhaps there is no stopping the corporate machine."
00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:24,713 Ah!
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,548 - And that's our report. I guess.
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:29,092 Well, boys, it's obvious that you didn't even--
00:08:29,218 --> 00:08:31,470 Great job! - Yes, great job.
00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:33,180 Boys, you have really opened our eyes.
00:08:33,305 --> 00:08:35,474 We didn't even know this was happening.
00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:37,017 Neither did we.
00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:38,060 Well, Mr. Garrison, it looks like
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:39,811 we were wrong about you.
00:08:39,937 --> 00:08:41,480 You really are teaching these kids something.
00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:42,940 Yeah, well, I don't want to sound
00:08:43,065 --> 00:08:44,399 like a dick hole, but I told you so.
00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:45,901 I am really moved.
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,986 I say we follow these boys' cause.
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:51,031 Let's join them in the fight against corporate takeovers!
00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:52,741 Lead the way, boys!
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,576 Huh? - Ah, too much pressure!
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,745 ♪♪
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,789 - Good! Good!
00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:01,959 Now, make sure that sign is really bright and flashy, now!
00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:04,795 - My goodness, that's going to be a huge coffeehouse, honey.
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:06,380 - Yes, it is.
00:09:06,505 --> 00:09:08,215 They really have my balls in a juicemaker.
00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:10,676 Oh, hello, son. Uh, how did your report go?
00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:12,219 Wah! - I think it went really good.
00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:13,637 Those people really got into it.
00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,639 Really?
00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:17,182 Well, son, you might have just saved the family business.
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:18,809 What do you have to say about that?
00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,811 I need coffee! - I know how you boys feel.
00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:23,522 Sometimes a hot cup of French roast amaretto
00:09:23,647 --> 00:09:25,399 is just what a man needs to get him through the day.
00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:27,025 That smooth aroma and mild taste
00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:30,028 is what makes Tweek coffee so very special,
00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:33,407 special like an Arizona sunrise or a juniper wet with dew,
00:09:33,532 --> 00:09:35,033 a light rain in the middle of a dusty afternoon
00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:36,368 or a hug from your dear old auntie--
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:37,869 Dad! - What?
00:09:37,995 --> 00:09:39,538 The metaphors, man. - Oh, sorry.
00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:41,081 Here you go.
00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:42,082 Hey, do you ever think maybe you shouldn't
00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:43,208 give your son coffee?
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:44,668 Like how do you mean?
00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:46,044 Like look at him.
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:47,254 He's always shaking and nervous.
00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:48,880 Oh, that.
00:09:49,006 --> 00:09:50,507 He has ADD, attention deficit disorder.
00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,843 That's why he's so jittery all the time.
00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:53,844 Mr. Tweek.
00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:55,929 We've only just heard.
00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:58,223 Oh, hello, committee members. What a surprise.
00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,225 So this is the corporate bulldozer
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:01,893 trying to push you off the map?
00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:04,021 Yes, how did you hear?
00:10:04,146 --> 00:10:05,606 These boys did an excellent report for us this morning.
00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:07,858 They're so upset by this whole thing.
00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:09,860 My butt hurts. - Don't worry, Mr. Tweek.
00:10:09,985 --> 00:10:11,653 This committee is not going to let you
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:14,072 be run out of business by these bastards!
00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:15,866 You hear that?!
00:10:15,991 --> 00:10:17,451 You're not gonna get away with this, you whore!
00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:18,869 Excuse me?
00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:20,662 Boys, we've talked it over,
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,748 and we want you to take your case to the mayor.
00:10:22,873 --> 00:10:24,458 Our case? - Ah! No way, man!
00:10:24,583 --> 00:10:25,834 That is way too much pressure!
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,377 Oh, you'll do fine, son.
00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:29,004 Come on, boys, let's go!
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,047 - Aw, man, this sucks!
00:10:30,172 --> 00:10:31,381 - Ah!
00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:33,675 ♪♪
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,677 And we would have never even known that this was happening
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:38,180 if not for these boys' excellent report.
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:39,890 You're telling me that students
00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:41,683 from Mr. Garrison's class actually did something
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:44,144 that had some kind of relevance to the world?
00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:45,937 That's right.
00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:47,564 Mr. Garrison, the guy with the puppet?
00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:48,815 Yes.
00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:50,400 Well, I must say, Garrison,
00:10:50,525 --> 00:10:51,777 perhaps you're not as stupid and crazy
00:10:51,902 --> 00:10:52,819 as I always tell people you are.
00:10:52,944 --> 00:10:54,529 Thank you, Mayor.
00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:55,906 I don't want to sound like a dick hole, but I--
00:10:56,031 --> 00:10:57,532 Mayor, these boys want
00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:58,742 that Harbucks Coffee shut down right now!
00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:00,285 Yeah! - Yeah!
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:01,411 - Well, I can't just shut them down.
00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:02,704 This is a free country.
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,498 - But they're ruining our city!
00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:06,041 - Look, the best I can do is create a proposition.
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,542 We'll call it Prop 10.
00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:09,503 The town can vote on it, and if it passes,
00:11:09,628 --> 00:11:10,629 we'll see what we can do.
00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:11,713 all: Hooray!
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:12,923 - What do you say, boys?
00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:14,508 We're gonna pass a law!
00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:16,551 Uh... hooray.
00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:18,261 So I guess you want to do some campaigning.
00:11:18,387 --> 00:11:20,263 You can do commercials and things like that,
00:11:20,389 --> 00:11:22,140 and then we'll have a vote in the middle of town,
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:24,476 and obviously if more than 50% of the people...
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:26,395 Ah!
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:29,147 ...And want Harbucks out, then they're out.
00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:31,733 So good luck to you.
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:33,026 Didn't you see them?
00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,569 All right, what's next?
00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:37,155 Next is Issue 37D, missing underpants.
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,032 Is it cold in here?
00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:40,951 Oh, boys, could I have a quick this-and-that with you?
00:11:41,076 --> 00:11:42,953 Boys, I don't know who wrote that report,
00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:44,538 but now that you've convinced everybody,
00:11:44,663 --> 00:11:46,039 you better stick with it,
00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:47,541 'cause if these people find out
00:11:47,666 --> 00:11:48,750 you didn't really write that paper
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,460 and I actually do get fired,
00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:53,755 then Mr. Hat is gonna do horrible things to you.
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,382 Oh, not that, Mr. Hat!
00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:57,551 That's really horrible!
00:11:57,676 --> 00:12:00,429 Anyway, good luck passing your new law, boys.
00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:02,472 Jesus, man, Jesus! What are we gonna do, huh?
00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:04,975 <i>- Live! It's the South Park town hall meeting</i>
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:06,560 <i>on public access!</i>
00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:08,562 <i>Tonight's topic, Prop 10!</i>
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,774 Should Harbucks be allowed to open a store in South Park?
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:13,775 That's tonight's topic.
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,152 On my left,
00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:16,778 five innocent, starry-eyed boys
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:18,697 from Middle America.
00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:21,032 On my right, a big fat smelly corporate guy from New York.
00:12:21,158 --> 00:12:22,534 [all booing]
00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:24,578 Hey, I'm not fat or smelly!
00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:26,121 All right, Mr. Douchebag.
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,206 Postum! - Oh, pardon me, Mr. Ass Face.
00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:30,167 Anyway, let's hear your side of the argument.
00:12:30,292 --> 00:12:32,586 [all booing] My argument is simple.
00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:35,213 This country is founded on free enterprise.
00:12:35,338 --> 00:12:36,798 [crowd hissing]
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,759 Harbucks is an organization that...
00:12:38,884 --> 00:12:40,677 An organization that prides itself
00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:42,262 on great coffee!
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:45,307 We simply want-- ah, to hell with you!
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:46,850 Okay, Uck-Up-Fay,
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,435 Now, for the other side of the argument,
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:51,062 we turn to our young, handsome lads.
00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:53,273 Boys, your thoughts?
00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:55,942 Come on, boys, don't be shy.
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,319 What's your principal argument?
00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:03,241 Uh... - Uh...
00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:04,659 This guy sucks ass!
00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:07,037 [cheers and applause]
00:13:07,162 --> 00:13:08,246 Great argument! You win, boys!
00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:09,414 What?!
00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:11,291 That was close, Mr. Hat.
00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:14,836 <i>What is the future of America?</i>
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:16,463 <i>Is it the money we make?</i>
00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:18,048 <i>The quests we conquer?</i>
00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:20,258 <i>No. It's children.</i>
00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:23,845 <i>So what do children have to say about Prop 10?</i>
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,639 <i>I don't like big corporations.</i>
00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:27,641 <i>I like small businesses.</i>
00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:31,269 <i>I believe in the family-owned enterprise.</i>
00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:35,482 <i>[muffled] - Ah!</i>
00:13:35,607 --> 00:13:38,485 <i>It's time to stop large corporations.</i>
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:40,487 <i>Prop 10 is about children.</i>
00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:44,491 <i>Vote yes on Prop 10, or else you hate children.</i>
00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:49,079 <i>You don't hate children... do you?</i>
00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:52,290 <i>Remember, keep American business small,</i>
00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:53,875 <i>or else.</i>
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,877 <i>Paid for by Citizens for a Fair</i>
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,879 <i>and Equal Way to Get Harbucks Coffee</i>
00:13:58,004 --> 00:14:01,049 <i>Kicked Out of Town Forever.</i>
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,676 - Well? What do you think?
00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:04,052 Wow, it's great!
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:05,595 Yes, it is!
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,013 We'll put it on the air immediately!
00:14:07,138 --> 00:14:08,682 What do you think, hon?
00:14:08,807 --> 00:14:10,433 Hon? What's the matter?
00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:12,477 I have a big problem with this.
00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:14,145 What do you mean?
00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:15,897 We're just using those boys for our benefit.
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:17,941 They have no idea what they're saying.
00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:20,277 - But kids are great to get people on our side.
00:14:20,402 --> 00:14:22,904 You don't just throw a child in a political commercial
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,322 to sell your beliefs.
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:27,117 I won't be a part of this anymore.
00:14:27,242 --> 00:14:29,119 Honey, all's fair in love and war.
00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:30,704 And coffee.
00:14:30,829 --> 00:14:32,330 Hon? Hon?
00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:37,544 Take your corporate coffee
00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:39,546 and go back to New York City!
00:14:39,671 --> 00:14:40,714 [all cheering]
00:14:40,839 --> 00:14:42,716 It's people like you
00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:46,219 who are ruining Main Street, USA!
00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:48,346 How many Native Americans did you slaughter
00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:51,141 to make that coffee, huh?
00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:52,893 [all cheering]
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:54,936 Damn, these people aren't buying any coffee.
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:57,480 I'll have to try and appeal to the younger crowd.
00:14:57,606 --> 00:14:59,357 <i>[ascending harp glissando]</i>
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:00,942 Hey, kids, I'm Camel Joe,
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:03,486 and I love a fresh cup of coffee.
00:15:03,612 --> 00:15:05,363 It's yum-diddly-iscious.
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,741 And it makes you feel super!
00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:10,744 I have a surprise for you.
00:15:10,869 --> 00:15:13,163 The new kiddie-cino from Harbucks!
00:15:13,288 --> 00:15:15,582 More sugar and all the other goodies kids like
00:15:15,707 --> 00:15:18,585 with all the caffeine of a normal double latte.
00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:20,754 No, Billy, no coffee for you.
00:15:20,879 --> 00:15:22,964 You should be ashamed of yourself.
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:25,967 Using cartoons to push caffeine on children!
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:27,385 Why don't you go back to the hole
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:28,970 you crawled out from, lady?
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,764 Uh, Mr. Postum, I'm afraid you've got
00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:33,433 a lot to learn about making coffee.
00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:35,352 Oh, and you don't?
00:15:35,477 --> 00:15:37,395 Your coffee tastes like three-day-old moldy diarrhea.
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,189 I'm sorry to inform you that this town
00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:40,982 is having a vote tomorrow, and if the law passes,
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:42,776 you're gonna be thrown out of town.
00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:44,235 What?!
00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:45,236 At 5:00, the best coffee wins:
00:15:45,362 --> 00:15:46,821 either your coffee
00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:49,032 or a fresh warm cup of Tweek's coffee.
00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:50,992 Like an old sweater that keeps getting warmer with age,
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,161 you can count on Tweek's coffee to start your day.
00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:56,414 Tomorrow for the Prop 10 vote,
00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:58,667 we'll set up ballot booths... here.
00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:00,001 All right, and then we'll throw up the stage here.
00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:01,419 Before the vote,
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:02,420 we'll get a band everyone likes,
00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:04,005 like, uh, like...
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,632 Toto. - Like Toto.
00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:07,425 And then the Harbucks guy will have
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:09,219 five minutes to speak, and the boys will have
00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:10,804 five minutes to speak, and then the town votes!
00:16:10,929 --> 00:16:12,597 - Uh, boys, you better get your asses to work.
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,140 What now?
00:16:14,265 --> 00:16:15,225 They're expecting you to give a big speech
00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:16,810 on corporate takeovers,
00:16:16,935 --> 00:16:18,353 and this time it has to last five minutes.
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:19,813 Oh, God! When is this gonna end?
00:16:19,938 --> 00:16:21,606 Your dad really screwed us, Tweek.
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:23,525 Jesus, dude! I'm to blame for all this!
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:24,943 I'm to blame for everything!
00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:30,407 So what are we gonna say?
00:16:30,532 --> 00:16:32,117 Why can't we just read the paper we wrote last time?
00:16:32,242 --> 00:16:33,159 'Cause then they'll know we didn't write it, dummy!
00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:34,786 We have to be original.
00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:36,121 - Does anybody know anything about corporations?
00:16:36,246 --> 00:16:37,747 [gasps]
00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:39,791 all: ♪ Search for underpants, hey ♪
00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:41,251 I think my mom is a corporation.
00:16:41,376 --> 00:16:42,335 Yeah, that makes sense.
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:44,170 You guys! Shh!
00:16:44,295 --> 00:16:45,964 Well, how about we just say, corporate should be stopped.
00:16:46,089 --> 00:16:47,465 How do we stretch that into five minutes?
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:49,426 They're taking my underpants!
00:16:49,551 --> 00:16:50,510 - Will you stop with the underpants gnomes, Tweek?
00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:51,845 We have to work here!
00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:53,430 Ah!
00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:55,932 What the hell?
00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:57,892 Well, I'll be damned.
00:16:58,018 --> 00:16:59,728 That's my last pair of underpants!
00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:05,483 Shh, don't scare him.
00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:07,110 Hey there, little guy.
00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:08,319 Bad!
00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:10,196 Cartman! - What?
00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:12,032 Why do you always have to hit stuff with a stick?
00:17:12,157 --> 00:17:13,825 Well, look at him, he's all, you know... look at him.
00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:15,076 Is that all you got, pussy?
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,369 What? - Hey, he talked.
00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:17,746 Yeah, he called me a pussy.
00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:18,913 I'm not a pussy! You're a pussy!
00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:20,790 You're a pussy, pussy!
00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:22,584 Dude, why are you taking Tweek's underpants?
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,294 Yeah, look what you're doing to this poor kid.
00:17:24,419 --> 00:17:26,087 Stealing underpants, big business!
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,089 Business? Wait, do you know anything about business?
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:29,632 Sure, that's what gnomes do!
00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:31,551 Show us! - Okay, follow me!
00:17:33,428 --> 00:17:35,221 Little pussy gnome. Don't call me a pussy.
00:17:35,346 --> 00:17:36,222 Pussy gnome.
00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:38,308 ♪♪
00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:40,101 - Not much longer now!
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:41,728 Are you taking us to your little pussy house?
00:17:41,853 --> 00:17:42,896 No, pussy, I'm taking you to my village.
00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:44,355 Oh, your pussy village?
00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:45,398 Cartman, will you just shut up
00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:47,317 and let him show us?
00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:48,777 Follow me!
00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:49,903 I hope we're not wasting our time
00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:51,071 with this little pecker.
00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:57,744 - Well, it looks like Harbucks will never make it
00:17:57,869 --> 00:17:59,079 in this town.
00:17:59,204 --> 00:18:00,580 All right, boys, that's it!
00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:02,332 Pack it up! We're moving out of town!
00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:04,459 - Aw, but we just finished!
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,628 - I know, but these folks obviously don't want us here.
00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,797 - But what will become of us?
00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:11,132 - Oh, quit being so melodramatic, Sanchez.
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:13,885 Jesus Christ.
00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:16,262 - Damn, dude, this place is huge.
00:18:16,387 --> 00:18:18,181 - Yeah, it's almost as big as Cartman's ass.
00:18:18,306 --> 00:18:20,100 - No, it isn't, you guys.
00:18:20,225 --> 00:18:22,268 - This is where all our work is done.
00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:23,728 - So what are you gonna do
00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:25,396 with all these underpants you steal?
00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:26,940 Collecting underpants is just phase one.
00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:28,775 Phase one, collect underpants.
00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:31,027 So what's phase two?
00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:35,949 Hey, what's phase two?
00:18:36,074 --> 00:18:37,992 Phase one, we collect underpants.
00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:40,537 Yeah, yeah, yeah, but what about phase two?
00:18:42,914 --> 00:18:45,416 Well, phase three is profit! Get it?
00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:47,085 I don't get it.
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:48,795 You see, phase one, collect underpants.
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:50,964 Phase two...
00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:52,549 Phase three, profit!
00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:53,591 Oh, I get it.
00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:55,385 No you don't, fat-ass!
00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:56,719 Do you guys know anything about corporations?
00:18:56,845 --> 00:18:58,179 You bet we do!
00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:00,390 Us gnomes are geniuses at corporations!
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,644 Jesus Christ, look out!
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:07,647 Oh, my God, they killed Kenny.
00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:09,232 You bastards. Listen.
00:19:09,357 --> 00:19:10,400 We have to give a huge speech tomorrow
00:19:10,525 --> 00:19:11,818 about corporate takeovers.
00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:13,695 Holy shit! We killed your friend!
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,530 Yeah, yeah, yeah, look, we gotta know
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,240 about corporate takeovers tomorrow, or we're screwed.
00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:19,284 Christ! We squished him like a bug!
00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:21,411 - Do you know anything about corporate takeovers?
00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:23,121 Well, we can explain that to you easily.
00:19:23,246 --> 00:19:24,706 Yes, for a price. - What?
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,249 You know. - Underpants?
00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:27,750 all: Underpants!
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:33,256 [rock band plays]
00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:35,425 Toto, ladies and gentlemen!
00:19:35,550 --> 00:19:39,512 Yeah, Toto! Whoo, Toto! Whoo!
00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:41,014 All right, and now,
00:19:41,139 --> 00:19:42,640 before we all vote yes on Prop 10,
00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:44,225 here to remind us why
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:45,810 are the lovable, innocent children.
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:48,229 [cheers and applause]
00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:50,857 - Since we are so concerned with the corporate takeovers,
00:19:50,982 --> 00:19:53,234 we went and asked our friends the underpants gnomes,
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,028 and they told us all about big corporations.
00:19:55,153 --> 00:19:58,448 Underpants gnomes? - Big corporations are good!
00:19:58,573 --> 00:20:00,200 What? - Good?
00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:01,659 Because, without big corporations,
00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:03,203 we wouldn't have things
00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:04,871 like cars and computers and canned soup.
00:20:04,996 --> 00:20:06,206 Even Harbucks Coffee started off
00:20:06,331 --> 00:20:07,707 as a small little business,
00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:09,459 but because it made such great coffee
00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:11,252 and because they ran their business so well,
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:12,879 they managed to grow and grow until it became
00:20:13,004 --> 00:20:14,881 the corporate powerhouse it is today.
00:20:15,006 --> 00:20:17,467 And that is why we should all let Harbucks stay!
00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:22,138 That's not what you said last time!
00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:23,681 Uh... well, the truth is,
00:20:23,806 --> 00:20:25,308 we didn't write that paper last time.
00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:27,268 [all gasping] You little turd!
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:30,897 You ruined my life for the last time!
00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:36,402 These boys are absolutely right.
00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:38,404 We've been using these poor kids
00:20:38,529 --> 00:20:39,489 to pull at your heartstrings for our cause,
00:20:39,614 --> 00:20:41,157 and it's wrong.
00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:42,909 We're as low and despicable as Rob Reiner.
00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:44,494 You keep protesting and complaining,
00:20:44,619 --> 00:20:46,079 but did any of you ever even bother
00:20:46,204 --> 00:20:48,039 to taste Harbucks Coffee?
00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:52,085 Harbucks Coffee got to where it is by being the best.
00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:55,922 Don't you think you should at least try it?
00:20:58,633 --> 00:21:01,511 Hey! This is pretty damn good!
00:21:01,636 --> 00:21:04,305 Yeah, it doesn't have that bland, raw sewage taste
00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:06,057 that Tweek's coffee has.
00:21:08,643 --> 00:21:10,979 Hey... hey, that is good.
00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:12,313 It's a French roast.
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:14,315 It's subtle and mild.
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:17,318 Mild like that first splash of sun on an April morning.
00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:19,320 This coffee is coffee the way it should be.
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:21,322 Hey, no hard feelings, Tweek.
00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:23,324 You know, we still need someone to run
00:21:23,449 --> 00:21:25,118 this Harbucks coffeehouse.
00:21:25,243 --> 00:21:27,537 I'm sure it will make a lot of money.
00:21:27,662 --> 00:21:29,539 Thank you, Mr. Postum, but I think we'll be fine
00:21:29,664 --> 00:21:32,083 with the money we make selling our son into slavery.
00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:34,252 Ah! - Just kidding, son.
00:21:34,377 --> 00:21:36,546 [laughter]
00:21:36,671 --> 00:21:39,424 I love you guys.
00:21:39,549 --> 00:21:41,009 <i>gnomes: ♪ Time to go to work, work all night ♪</i>
00:21:41,134 --> 00:21:43,428 <i>♪ Search for underpants, hey ♪</i>
00:21:43,553 --> 00:21:45,722 <i>♪ We won't stop until we have underpants ♪</i>
00:21:45,847 --> 00:21:48,016 <i>♪ Yum-tum, yummy-tum-tay ♪</i>
00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:49,600 <i>♪ Time to go to work, work all night ♪</i>
00:21:49,726 --> 00:21:51,769 <i>♪ Search for underpants, hey ♪</i>
00:21:51,894 --> 00:21:53,271 <i>♪ We won't stop until we have underpants ♪</i>
00:21:53,396 --> 00:21:55,690 <i>♪ Yum-tum, yummy-tum-tay ♪</i>

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