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Счастливого Рождества, Чарли Мэнсон!
Merry Christmas Charlie Manson!
Сезон: 02Серия: 16
Описание
Стэн убегает из дома, чтобы провести Рождество с родственниками Картмана. Там он с друзьями встречает Чарльза Мэнсона.
Субтитры
- 00:00:09,593 --> 00:00:11,053 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:12,888 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:13,014 --> 00:00:14,682 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:14,807 --> 00:00:16,559 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:17,935 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:19,687 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:19,812 --> 00:00:21,272 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:21,397 --> 00:00:23,149 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
- 00:00:23,274 --> 00:00:24,567 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
- 00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:26,402 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:31,240 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:33,242 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:35,828 The answer is no, Stanley.
- 00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:37,329 But Mom, all the guys are going
- 00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:38,414 to Cartman's grandma's for the weekend.
- 00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,082 I'm sorry, Stanley,
- 00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:41,500 I can't let you go all the way to Nebraska
- 00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:43,461 by yourself, it's the holidays.
- 00:00:43,586 --> 00:00:44,462 But all the other guys get to go to Cartman's grandma's.
- 00:00:44,587 --> 00:00:45,880 Why can't I?
- 00:00:46,005 --> 00:00:47,048 I'll leave it up to your father.
- 00:00:47,173 --> 00:00:48,132 It's fine with me.
- 00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:49,300 The answer's no, Stanley!
- 00:00:49,425 --> 00:00:50,634 Now go wash up for supper!
- 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:51,677 I don't want your lame-ass supper!
- 00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:53,596 You're gonna get it now.
- 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:57,058 Go to your room, Stanley, right now!
- 00:00:57,183 --> 00:00:58,184 You can't tell me what to do.
- 00:00:58,309 --> 00:01:00,561 I'm eight years old.
- 00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:02,938 I don't need this stupid family anyway.
- 00:01:03,064 --> 00:01:05,649 It's so nice of you to take all the boys with you.
- 00:01:05,775 --> 00:01:06,901 It's my pleasure.
- 00:01:07,026 --> 00:01:08,486 Eric loves his little friends.
- 00:01:08,611 --> 00:01:09,612 Every time I go to my grandma's house
- 00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:11,238 she gives me a present.
- 00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:12,448 You watch, as soon as I walk in the door
- 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:13,991 she'll hand me a big present
- 00:01:14,116 --> 00:01:15,284 for no reason except that I'm cool.
- 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,994 That's nice, Cartman.
- 00:01:17,119 --> 00:01:18,496 Now, remember, if they have leftover turkey,
- 00:01:18,621 --> 00:01:20,164 put some in a bag and bring it home, okay?
- 00:01:20,289 --> 00:01:21,707 Okay, let's go.
- 00:01:21,832 --> 00:01:23,417 I didn't think you were coming, Stan.
- 00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:24,668 Of course I'm coming, come on, let's hurry.
- 00:01:24,794 --> 00:01:25,920 Good-bye, bubby, be careful.
- 00:01:26,045 --> 00:01:27,797 See you in a couple days, son.
- 00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:30,758 Shotgun, it's my car, I called it first, shotgun!
- 00:01:30,883 --> 00:01:32,510 Kenny, I called shotgun.
- 00:01:33,511 --> 00:01:35,888 Dammit, Kenny, get in the back.
- 00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:38,682 Hey, Kenny, there's a sale on orange jackets over there.
- 00:01:39,975 --> 00:01:42,436 Look, Kenny, there's an elephant parade.
- 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:46,023 Kenny, Kenny, look, look.
- 00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:47,525 Go get it, go get it!
- 00:01:47,650 --> 00:01:50,653 You poor piece of crap.
- 00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:54,281 - So how far is it to Nebraska? - About six hours.
- 00:01:54,406 --> 00:01:56,367 Oh, my God, what the hell are we gonna do for six hours?
- 00:01:56,492 --> 00:01:58,536 Well, I've got an idea, we could sing.
- 00:01:58,661 --> 00:02:00,538 Yeah, or we could not.
- 00:02:00,663 --> 00:02:02,540 Let's sing that one grandma song, Ma, how does that go?
- 00:02:02,665 --> 00:02:04,208 ♪ Over the meadow and through the woods ♪
- 00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:06,335 ♪ To grandmother's house we go ♪
- 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,087 ♪ The horse knows the way to carry the sleigh ♪
- 00:02:08,212 --> 00:02:10,172 ♪ Through the white and wooly snow, oh ♪
- 00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:11,882 ♪ Over the meadow and through the woods ♪
- 00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:14,051 ♪ To grandmother's house we go ♪
- 00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:15,427 ♪ The horse knows the way to carry the sleigh ♪
- 00:02:15,553 --> 00:02:18,389 Please stop. Please stop.
- 00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:19,974 ♪ Over the meadow and through the woods ♪
- 00:02:20,099 --> 00:02:21,559 ♪ To grandmother's house we go ♪
- 00:02:21,684 --> 00:02:23,435 Ooh, careful hon, these roads are bumpy.
- 00:02:23,561 --> 00:02:26,397 - I guess, damn! - Here we go, kids.
- 00:02:26,522 --> 00:02:29,650 We're crossing the state line into Nebraska.
- 00:02:35,364 --> 00:02:36,949 - This is Nebraska? - What's all that stuff?
- 00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:39,326 Wheat, the building block of your favorite foods
- 00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:42,371 and Nebraska's principal source of economic productivity.
- 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,081 You see, when Nebraska first became...
- 00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:46,625 - We don't care, Mom. - Hey, look!
- 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:49,211 "See Mr. Hankey at the Mall of Nebraska".
- 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:50,796 Wow, we have to go, dude.
- 00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:52,548 I thought Mr. Hankey lived in a sewer.
- 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,258 - What's he doing in Nebraska? - I don't know.
- 00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:55,926 Ever since he was in that movie, he got all famous.
- 00:02:56,051 --> 00:02:57,636 Oh, so now everybody wants to meet Mr. Hankey.
- 00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:59,305 - He's a piece of crap. - It doesn't matter.
- 00:02:59,430 --> 00:03:00,556 He'll be most excited to see me.
- 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,016 That shouldn't be a problem.
- 00:03:02,141 --> 00:03:03,684 Eric's grandma's right near the mall.
- 00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,352 Cool!
- 00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:07,104 How much further is it to Grandma's house?
- 00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:08,147 I wanna see what kind of presents she got me.
- 00:03:08,272 --> 00:03:09,815 About another hour, hon.
- 00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:11,483 Why does Grandma have to live so far away?
- 00:03:11,609 --> 00:03:12,943 Why don't we just stick her in a nursing home
- 00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:14,403 closer to us so I don't have to drive
- 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,280 six hours to get a goddamn present?!
- 00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:17,489 Now, Eric, let's try to get out of that grumpy mood
- 00:03:17,615 --> 00:03:19,158 before we get to Grandma's.
- 00:03:19,283 --> 00:03:21,118 ♪ Over the meadow and through the woods ♪
- 00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:22,369 ♪ To grandmother's house we go... ♪
- 00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:24,413 Oh, God.
- 00:03:27,583 --> 00:03:29,877 - Here we are. - Jesus Christ, finally!
- 00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:33,631 Grandma, Grandma, Grandma, Grandma!
- 00:03:33,756 --> 00:03:35,799 Hey, it's little Eric.
- 00:03:35,925 --> 00:03:37,343 - Hi, Grandpa. - Look how big you've gotten.
- 00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:39,678 Hi, Eric. Grandma got you a present.
- 00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:41,013 Sweet, what is it?
- 00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:42,181 It's inside.
- 00:03:42,306 --> 00:03:43,807 Yes, move it!
- 00:03:43,933 --> 00:03:46,227 Hello everyone, happy holidays.
- 00:03:46,352 --> 00:03:48,312 - Hello! - These are Eric's friends.
- 00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:50,147 Stan, Kyle, and Kenny.
- 00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:52,483 Boys, let me introduce you to the Cartman family.
- 00:03:52,608 --> 00:03:55,319 - This is Uncle Stinky. - Nice to have you here-ah.
- 00:03:55,444 --> 00:03:58,697 Aunt Lisa, cousin Fred, cousin Alexandra, Fat Bob,
- 00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:01,283 Jimmy, and Great-Grandma Florence.
- 00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:02,868 Come here, Eric,
- 00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:05,079 give your great-grandma some huggies.
- 00:04:05,204 --> 00:04:06,997 No, no, Florence, that's not Eric.
- 00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:09,375 Oh, which one is he then? - The fat one.
- 00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:11,502 He's not fat, he's big-boned. - I'm not fat, I'm big-boned.
- 00:04:11,627 --> 00:04:12,836 That was totally gross.
- 00:04:12,962 --> 00:04:14,171 She smelled like vitamins and pee.
- 00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:15,631 Sick, dude. - Alrighty then.
- 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:16,882 Let's get to my present, shall we?
- 00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:18,050 Here you go, Eric.
- 00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:19,551 Happy holidays.
- 00:04:19,677 --> 00:04:21,136 Wait a minute,
- 00:04:21,262 --> 00:04:22,805 This isn't a present, it's a shirt!
- 00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:24,890 Yes, I thought that would look really good on you.
- 00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:27,101 Are you telling me that I drove nine hours
- 00:04:27,226 --> 00:04:29,603 through butt-fuck nowhere to get a Goddamn shirt?!
- 00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:31,063 Mom, Grandma's gone senile.
- 00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:33,524 It's time to stick her in a home.
- 00:04:33,649 --> 00:04:35,943 Well, this is what the holidays are about.
- 00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:37,945 Family. - Yeah, right.
- 00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:40,489 Well, what does your family do for the holidays, Stan?
- 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,700 My family's dead.
- 00:04:42,825 --> 00:04:44,868 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Stanley.
- 00:04:44,994 --> 00:04:46,704 Dude, your family died? - They're dead to me.
- 00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:48,122 My mom doesn't even know I'm here.
- 00:04:48,247 --> 00:04:49,707 What?
- 00:04:49,832 --> 00:04:50,874 I can't believe I got a stupid shirt.
- 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,543 The holidays are bullcrap.
- 00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:53,752 Here, Kyle, will you hold Great-Grandma's
- 00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:54,962 catheter bag during dinner?
- 00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:56,547 What is this?
- 00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:58,132 Great-Grandmother has a bladder problem.
- 00:04:58,257 --> 00:04:59,967 - This helps her out. - Sick, dude.
- 00:05:00,092 --> 00:05:01,927 Eric, did you say hi to your little cousin Elvin?
- 00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:04,555 Hi, cousin Elvin. - Sweet.
- 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,557 Well, it certainly is nice
- 00:05:06,682 --> 00:05:08,892 we could all gather here-ah for the holidays.
- 00:05:09,018 --> 00:05:10,853 Even Uncle Howard has joined us
- 00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:13,564 live via satellite from the state penitentiary.
- 00:05:13,689 --> 00:05:15,816 Whoa, dude. - You look good, Howard.
- 00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:17,526 No, I don't. - Hi, Howard.
- 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,278 Dude, is he here every year like this?
- 00:05:19,403 --> 00:05:21,196 Yep.
- 00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:22,656 Sweet.
- 00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:25,659 Come on, let's eat already.
- 00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:26,910 They gave me extra bread and water.
- 00:05:27,036 --> 00:05:28,370 Where's your manners, Howard?
- 00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,205 We haven't even said grace yet.
- 00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:33,042 Mom, will you do the honors of saying grace?
- 00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:35,919 God damn it, why the hell do I always have to say grace?
- 00:05:36,045 --> 00:05:37,921 If one more person asks me to say grace,
- 00:05:38,047 --> 00:05:39,340 I'll be like...
- 00:05:39,465 --> 00:05:40,716 I'm not saying grace!
- 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,217 And if you ask me again,
- 00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:44,178 I'll kick you square in the nuts.
- 00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:46,930 - Amen. - Amen.
- 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:50,267 Jesus, dude.
- 00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:57,900 No, Jimmy, this is my pot pie. No, Jimmy, that's a bad Jimmy.
- 00:05:58,025 --> 00:05:59,360 Bad Jimmy.
- 00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:01,904 No, Jimmy, that's Grandpa's pot pie.
- 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:04,448 No, Jimmy!
- 00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:05,949 Dude, I don't know how long I can stay here.
- 00:06:06,075 --> 00:06:07,076 I know what you mean.
- 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,624 - Ah! - What, dude?
- 00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:15,042 Dude, I was having this horrible nightmare
- 00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:16,418 that we were at this house
- 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,170 and it was filled with Cartmans.
- 00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:19,630 Kyle, we are at a house filled with Cartmans.
- 00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:21,632 Oh... ah!
- 00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:22,674 What was that?
- 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:24,218 I heard it too.
- 00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:25,594 Whatever it is, it's getting closer.
- 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,262 Ow, what the hell was that for?
- 00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:28,931 I wanted to make sure we're not dreaming.
- 00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:30,557 - Ow! - I wanted to make sure too.
- 00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:32,059 Well you're not dreaming. Hey! Cut the crap.
- 00:06:32,184 --> 00:06:33,769 Dude, it's coming through the window.
- 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:36,355 Ah! - Ah!
- 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,315 Uncle Howard.
- 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:39,817 Oh, hey Eric, I didn't think anybody would be down here.
- 00:06:39,942 --> 00:06:42,027 Uncle Howard, what are you doing here?
- 00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:43,570 We thought you were in jail. - Yeah, well, I busted out.
- 00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,406 Wow, cool! - Shhh...
- 00:06:45,531 --> 00:06:46,990 We can't let the rest of the family know I'm here.
- 00:06:47,116 --> 00:06:48,700 Okay.
- 00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:50,077 If it's okay, we're just gonna hang out here
- 00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:51,787 for a couple days with you kids.
- 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,831 Who's "we"? You got a turd in your pocket?
- 00:06:53,956 --> 00:06:55,249 Come on up, it's okay.
- 00:06:55,374 --> 00:06:56,834 Another inmate busted out with me.
- 00:06:56,959 --> 00:06:58,502 Don't worry, he's a good guy.
- 00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:01,547 Oh, hi, boys. I'm Charlie, Charlie Manson!
- 00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:07,469 I can't wait to get out among the pigs
- 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:08,762 and raise some hell.
- 00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:10,222 Alright, Chuck,
- 00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:12,182 but we gotta lay low for a while.
- 00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:14,101 When I stand on the mountain and say do it, it gets done.
- 00:07:14,226 --> 00:07:16,103 And if it don't get done, then I'll move on it.
- 00:07:16,228 --> 00:07:17,813 And that's the last thing in the world you want me to do.
- 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:20,357 Alright Chuck, just watch some TV or something.
- 00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:22,901 Now back to...
- 00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:25,696 You can't just buy people, Mr. Potter.
- 00:07:25,821 --> 00:07:28,323 You know what you are? You're a little bitch.
- 00:07:28,449 --> 00:07:30,117 That's right, you're a bitch,
- 00:07:30,242 --> 00:07:31,618 and I bet you'd like to suck it, wouldn't you?
- 00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,162 Wake up Cartman.
- 00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:34,788 We gotta get to the mall. - What?
- 00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:35,998 We have to go see Mr. Hankey at the mall.
- 00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,583 Alright, keep your pants on.
- 00:07:37,708 --> 00:07:38,584 Hey, bring us down some food, alright?
- 00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:40,294 Okay.
- 00:07:40,419 --> 00:07:41,795 Come on, D.
- 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:42,796 Can somebody drive us to the mall?
- 00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:44,715 Yeah!
- 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,300 Hello, Mr. Hankey is appearing at the mall.
- 00:07:46,425 --> 00:07:48,719 Can somebody please take us?
- 00:07:48,844 --> 00:07:50,804 Uncle Stinky, can you drive us to the mall?
- 00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:52,973 Not now, Eric. Holding! He held him. Where's the flag?
- 00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:54,766 Uncle Stinky, my stupid friends wanna see Mr. Hankey.
- 00:07:54,892 --> 00:07:55,851 You have to take us.
- 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,269 I said no, and I mean no.
- 00:07:57,394 --> 00:07:59,480 Respect my authority.
- 00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:02,941 With only 16 seconds left, the Cornhusker--
- 00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:05,194 We interrupt this broadcast for a news bulletin.
- 00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:06,820 What!
- 00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:08,322 Mass murderer and extremely nasty person
- 00:08:08,447 --> 00:08:10,532 Charles Manson has escaped from prison.
- 00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,159 Manson was the man responsible
- 00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:14,328 for seven murders in the late '60s.
- 00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:15,954 Manson has never shown any signs of remorse
- 00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:17,706 for his crime.
- 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,291 If you see Manson, please kick his ass
- 00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:21,460 and smash his fucking face in for me.
- 00:08:21,585 --> 00:08:23,587 And then call the police. And now back to the game.
- 00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:25,422 And they've done it!
- 00:08:25,547 --> 00:08:27,841 They've scored 16 unanswered points in 15 seconds.
- 00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:29,551 Oh, weak!
- 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,011 Eric, I need you to take care
- 00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:33,013 of your cousin Elvin for a while.
- 00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:35,098 I don't want to take care of cousin Elvin!
- 00:08:35,224 --> 00:08:37,226 Won't you do it for Grandma?
- 00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:39,937 Alright, give me $10.
- 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,690 Kickass.
- 00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:45,526 Chuck, can you turn that damn thing down?
- 00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:48,195 Hello, movie house! Hello, burger parlor!
- 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:49,780 You know what the spirit of Christmas is?
- 00:08:49,905 --> 00:08:51,782 It's another lie from the lying pigs
- 00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:53,242 that consider me the witness--
- 00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:55,494 Okay, Chuck, thank you very much.
- 00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:57,079 - My family sucks ass. - Yeah, they do.
- 00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,789 All families suck ass.
- 00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:00,207 Here, we got you some sticky cinnamon buns.
- 00:09:00,332 --> 00:09:02,334 - Wow, sweet. - Hey!
- 00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:03,835 Dude, we have to get to the mall.
- 00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:05,087 You guys, seriously.
- 00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:06,630 What's the matter?
- 00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:08,382 My stupid friends want to go to the mall
- 00:09:08,507 --> 00:09:09,716 to visit Mr. Hankey but nobody would drive us.
- 00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:11,510 - Oh, bummer. - I'll take you.
- 00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:13,178 That's okay, Chuck,
- 00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:14,888 you just keep watching Christmas specials.
- 00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:16,515 Hey, I didn't bust out of prison
- 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:17,558 to be locked up in somebody's basement.
- 00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:18,725 I want some action.
- 00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,394 Good for you, Charlie.
- 00:09:20,519 --> 00:09:22,187 Come on, I'll hotwire your grandpa's car.
- 00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:24,064 Do you really think we should go with this guy?
- 00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:25,941 Stan, don't be such a dumbass. You have to trust people.
- 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,609 Alright boys, keep your heads down.
- 00:09:31,196 --> 00:09:32,614 We're going to the mall.
- 00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,783 Hooray!
- 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:35,909 I just can't believe he would go
- 00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,202 without our permission.
- 00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:38,996 Now, Sharon, don't overreact.
- 00:09:39,121 --> 00:09:40,872 Maybe Stan didn't go to Cartman's grandmother's.
- 00:09:40,998 --> 00:09:42,541 Maybe he just ran away or got kidnapped or something.
- 00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:45,127 I hope for his sake you're right.
- 00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:46,920 Hello.
- 00:09:47,045 --> 00:09:48,672 Hello, Ms. Cartman, it's Sharon, Stan's mother.
- 00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:50,132 Did Stanley go up there to Nebraska with you?
- 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:51,508 Oh, why yes, he did.
- 00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:53,010 I thought you were dead, Sharon.
- 00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:54,511 What?
- 00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:56,054 Stanley told me you had passed on.
- 00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:57,681 I'm glad to see that you're better.
- 00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:59,641 Get the car, Randy, we're going to Nebraska.
- 00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:02,519 Ooh, Stan's in trouble.
- 00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:08,066 Do you see him?
- 00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:10,068 Not yet, I think we still have a ways to go.
- 00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:11,987 I can't wait to see him. He's gonna be so glad we came.
- 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,281 I drove all the way from Montana to see Mr. Hankey.
- 00:10:14,406 --> 00:10:15,907 That's nice, kid.
- 00:10:16,033 --> 00:10:17,618 I knew Mr. Hankey before he was even famous.
- 00:10:17,743 --> 00:10:18,994 How the hell did Mr. Hankey get so popular?
- 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,662 Look at all this Mr. Hankey stuff.
- 00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,247 Mr. Hankey kicks ass.
- 00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:23,707 And another thing,
- 00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:24,833 it says Mr. Hankey is also appearing
- 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,293 at the Crossroads Mall.
- 00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:27,586 So?
- 00:10:27,711 --> 00:10:29,087 So how could Mr. Hankey be here
- 00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:30,589 and at another mall at the same time?
- 00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:31,798 Dude, Mr. Hankey has magic powers.
- 00:10:31,923 --> 00:10:33,800 He can do whatever he wants.
- 00:10:36,011 --> 00:10:37,429 How would you like to come with me
- 00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:38,889 to a more secluded part of the mall?
- 00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:40,182 Okay.
- 00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,017 I really like that guy.
- 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,977 Oh, looks like you finished your Fudgsicle, Elvin.
- 00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:51,276 God damn it, be quiet, shut up, Elvin!
- 00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:57,783 No, Elvin. Bad Elvin.
- 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,874 Folks need to understand that I am terror.
- 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,959 I am fear, I am...
- 00:11:08,085 --> 00:11:09,711 oh, hey look, another holiday special.
- 00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,838 And now back to "The Grinchy Poo"!
- 00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:13,924 The Grinchy Poo went up the chimney
- 00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:15,717 and stuffed the tree up.
- 00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:18,595 But then he heard a coo like the cry of a dove.
- 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,347 It was little Cindy Lou Poo,
- 00:11:20,472 --> 00:11:22,057 who was no more than two.
- 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:23,725 Mr. Hankey, why?
- 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:25,894 Why are you taking our Christmas tree?
- 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,729 Why?
- 00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,356 That old Grinchy Poo thought up a lie,
- 00:11:29,481 --> 00:11:30,774 and he thought it up quick.
- 00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:32,359 Alright boys, you're next.
- 00:11:32,484 --> 00:11:33,735 Welcome to Mr. Hankey's Happy Lolly Land.
- 00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:35,237 Oh boy, here we go.
- 00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:37,948 Howdy-ho, boys.
- 00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:39,533 Mr. Hankey?
- 00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:41,535 Gosh, you boys smell like flowers.
- 00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:43,161 You're not the real Mr. Hankey.
- 00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:45,205 Sure I am, howdy-ho.
- 00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:46,998 You look a lot bigger than the last time we saw you.
- 00:11:47,124 --> 00:11:49,292 Well, Mr. Hankey has to grow too, you know.
- 00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:50,877 Howdy-ho.
- 00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:52,504 You boys want your picture with Mr. Hankey?
- 00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:54,423 This is not Mr. Hankey, this is a fake!
- 00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:58,635 It's okay kids, I'm real.
- 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,387 Howdy-ho.
- 00:12:00,512 --> 00:12:02,055 Howdy-ho!
- 00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,682 Why are you people doing this?
- 00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:05,517 Why would you lie like this? To children?
- 00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:06,768 Look kid, there's Mr. Hankeys like me
- 00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:07,978 in every shopping mall.
- 00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:09,271 There is no real Mr. Hankey.
- 00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:10,772 What? What did you say?
- 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,399 Oh boy, you've done it now.
- 00:12:12,524 --> 00:12:14,693 Behold, here's your false prophet.
- 00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:18,113 Boo!
- 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,699 - Ow! - Get him!
- 00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:22,200 Son of a bitch!
- 00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:23,744 You lied to me, Mother.
- 00:12:23,869 --> 00:12:24,911 You said it was the real Mr. Hankey.
- 00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:26,288 Well, yes, but...
- 00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:27,622 I will not forget this, Mother.
- 00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,082 I will not forget this ever.
- 00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:31,918 This is revolution!
- 00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:34,713 Uh-oh, they're rioting again.
- 00:12:37,007 --> 00:12:39,009 And all the Poos down in Pooville
- 00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:40,802 joined hands and they sang.
- 00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,596 They sang all the same.
- 00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:45,015 And he himself, the Grinchy Poo,
- 00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,808 carved the roast poo.
- 00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,643 Wow, man, that's beautiful.
- 00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:51,521 He was evil, but now he's good.
- 00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:54,733 What's happening?
- 00:12:54,858 --> 00:12:56,193 Some kid must have said
- 00:12:56,318 --> 00:12:58,195 it wasn't the real Mr. Hankey again.
- 00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:02,908 Use the tear gas!
- 00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:07,829 I told you guys the holiday season
- 00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:09,164 is nothing but lies and bullcrap.
- 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:10,707 Well, how was it?
- 00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:12,083 - It was a fake. - Oh, I'm sorry.
- 00:13:12,209 --> 00:13:13,543 Cartman was right,
- 00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:14,920 the holiday season is for idiots.
- 00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:16,630 Where did you go, Uncle Charlie?
- 00:13:16,755 --> 00:13:18,089 I went to a beauty parlor and had my tattoo redone.
- 00:13:18,215 --> 00:13:19,466 - Look. - Oh, that's pretty cool.
- 00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:20,634 Hey, where's Kenny?
- 00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:22,511 Oh, he's around.
- 00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:24,638 Oh, hey Kenny.
- 00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:27,182 Come on, I'll buy you kids an orange smoothie.
- 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:30,435 Hey, there he is! That's Charlie Manson!
- 00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,687 Run for your lives, boys!
- 00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:37,275 Wait... you guys... seriously.
- 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,402 Come back here, God damn it!
- 00:13:41,530 --> 00:13:43,281 Oh, getting away!
- 00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:47,911 Keep your heads down, kids.
- 00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:51,581 Hey, what the hell is wrong with you people?
- 00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:53,667 I can't believe they would put a fake Mr. Hankey in the mall.
- 00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:55,794 If Mr. Hankey ever found out, he'd be so pissed.
- 00:13:55,919 --> 00:13:57,003 We interrupt this program
- 00:13:57,128 --> 00:13:58,880 for a breaking news story.
- 00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:00,674 A high speed car chase is happening right now
- 00:14:00,799 --> 00:14:02,300 on Interstate 3.
- 00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:04,135 We go now to our live Sky-5 helicopter.
- 00:14:04,261 --> 00:14:05,720 Ron, it looks as though the chase
- 00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:07,681 is proceeding west down the interstate.
- 00:14:07,806 --> 00:14:09,850 Oh, that looks a lot like your car, Harold.
- 00:14:09,975 --> 00:14:11,893 We understand that Charles Manson is inside the car
- 00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,896 with several hostages, all of whom are children.
- 00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,690 My God, what is this world coming to?
- 00:14:16,815 --> 00:14:18,525 Well, we'd like to take a moment to tell you
- 00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:19,693 that this car chase is being brought to you
- 00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:21,695 by Snacky S'mores:
- 00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:23,822 the creamy fun of S'mores in a delightful cookie crunch.
- 00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:26,241 They're gaining on us.
- 00:14:28,827 --> 00:14:30,078 Fudgsicle!
- 00:14:32,873 --> 00:14:34,040 Kickass.
- 00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:35,458 God, I hate the holiday season.
- 00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:43,133 Oh, hello kids, having fun?
- 00:14:43,258 --> 00:14:46,511 Get in the house! - Alrighty then.
- 00:14:46,636 --> 00:14:48,013 Lock the door.
- 00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:49,681 Oh, my God, it's Charlie Manson, wow!
- 00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:51,433 What's going on?
- 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,018 There's a bunch of policemen chasing after us.
- 00:14:53,143 --> 00:14:54,519 Quiet down, we're watching television.
- 00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:56,479 Oh, Phillip, what a festive season.
- 00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:58,023 That's right, Terrance. This is the season for sharing.
- 00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:00,609 The cops are here.
- 00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:01,693 Howard?
- 00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:03,862 How did you get out, son?
- 00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:05,739 Alright Manson, we know you're in there.
- 00:15:05,864 --> 00:15:07,949 Come out peacefully and we'll shoot you.
- 00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:09,659 Tell him we won't shoot him. - Oh, yeah, that's a good idea.
- 00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:12,787 Come out peacefully and we won't shoot you.
- 00:15:12,913 --> 00:15:16,207 Oh, look, Police Chief Stevens got a new haircut.
- 00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:17,959 Get down, Ma!
- 00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:19,628 Hey man, don't point a gun at your own mother.
- 00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:21,212 What the hell is wrong with you, Manson?
- 00:15:21,338 --> 00:15:22,756 You're acting all funny.
- 00:15:22,881 --> 00:15:24,299 Everybody just sit down and shut up.
- 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:25,842 We're not going back to the big house.
- 00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:27,177 Well, Howard, you've done it again.
- 00:15:27,302 --> 00:15:28,720 You ruined Christmas.
- 00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,555 This is Robert Pooner reporting live
- 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:32,641 from Nebraska where escaped convict Charlie Manson
- 00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:34,100 has walled himself up in a house.
- 00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:35,852 We understand there are hostages
- 00:15:35,977 --> 00:15:37,604 and that the situation is critical.
- 00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:38,855 So we would like to remind you all
- 00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:40,523 that this live hostage crisis
- 00:15:40,649 --> 00:15:42,400 is being brought to you by Palmoral sunblock.
- 00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:44,611 Remember, if it isn't Palmoral. you're gonna get cancer.
- 00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:46,613 What's going on here?
- 00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:48,365 We've got a critical situation, ma'am.
- 00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:50,241 Charlie Manson is holding everybody inside hostage.
- 00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:51,660 Is this the Cartman residence?
- 00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:53,078 - Yes, ma'am. - Give me that!
- 00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:55,246 Stanley, this is your mother!
- 00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:56,831 Uh-oh.
- 00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:57,999 What's your mom doing here, dude?
- 00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,626 Young man, I have had it.
- 00:15:59,751 --> 00:16:01,544 You have disobeyed me for the last time.
- 00:16:01,670 --> 00:16:03,004 Wow, she's really pissed.
- 00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:04,756 I'm glad I'm not you right now, kid.
- 00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:07,842 What do you have to say for yourself, Stanley?
- 00:16:07,968 --> 00:16:09,761 Sorry.
- 00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:12,347 Still more developments in the Manson hostage crisis.
- 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,766 It appears now that eight-year-old Stan Marsh
- 00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:16,351 is in big, big, trouble.
- 00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,186 He apparently disobeyed his parents,
- 00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,021 left home without telling them.
- 00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,774 And, Tom, his mother is very disappointed with him.
- 00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,442 Damn it, what are we gonna do?
- 00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:26,611 Shh, we're watching television.
- 00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:30,281 Wait! Wait!
- 00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:33,493 Hold on.
- 00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:36,121 Over here, over here.
- 00:16:37,789 --> 00:16:38,707 Here comes one...
- 00:16:40,542 --> 00:16:41,626 Hold on, wait, wait.
- 00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:42,919 Come out with your hands up.
- 00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:44,629 Damn it, Dad,
- 00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:46,381 why didn't you put a back door on this house?
- 00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:48,174 Well, there's that old window in the bathroom.
- 00:16:48,299 --> 00:16:49,551 You could probably squeeze through there.
- 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,094 That's it.
- 00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:52,262 We're going out the bathroom window.
- 00:16:52,387 --> 00:16:54,139 Come on, Manson.
- 00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:55,807 But I gotta see what happens. - Come on, damn it.
- 00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:57,684 Well, it was good seeing you all.
- 00:16:57,809 --> 00:16:59,019 Don't move until we're gone, or I'll shoot you dead.
- 00:16:59,144 --> 00:17:00,145 Happy holidays.
- 00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:01,771 Happy holidays.
- 00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:06,151 Dude, they're gonna kill me.
- 00:17:06,276 --> 00:17:07,485 Alright Manson, this is it.
- 00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,487 We're coming in after you.
- 00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:11,489 There's gonna be a lot of bloodshed,
- 00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:13,450 and a lot of innocent people are gonna die.
- 00:17:13,575 --> 00:17:16,369 You've got until 100-marshmallow to come out.
- 00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:18,246 One marshmallow.
- 00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,165 Two marshmallow.
- 00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:21,499 Three marshmallow.
- 00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:23,460 Alright, it's open, let's go.
- 00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:25,336 Excuse me, I want to go with you.
- 00:17:25,462 --> 00:17:27,172 Please, I don't want to go back with them.
- 00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:28,923 But Stan, your mother and father are out there.
- 00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:30,425 I know, they've come to punish me.
- 00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,093 All they want to do is make me pay
- 00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:33,261 for coming to Nebraska in the first place.
- 00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,429 Alright kid, you can come.
- 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,056 Now, let's go.
- 00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:37,557 Stan, I want to talk to you about family.
- 00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:38,850 What? - What?
- 00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:40,518 You see, I had a family once.
- 00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:42,729 At least, I called them my family.
- 00:17:42,854 --> 00:17:44,522 Really they were nothing but a gang of people
- 00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:46,566 I thought were my friends.
- 00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:48,485 After we killed a bunch of people together,
- 00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:51,321 I realized that my real family was who took care of me
- 00:17:51,446 --> 00:17:53,490 and who took the time to care about what I did.
- 00:17:53,615 --> 00:17:55,533 But they don't care about me, they just want to punish me.
- 00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,285 If they don't care about you,
- 00:17:57,410 --> 00:18:00,205 would they have driven nine hours to Nebraska?
- 00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:03,792 I guess you're right, Uncle Charlie, thanks.
- 00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:05,919 Now can we go? - No, Howard.
- 00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:08,004 You go ahead. I've got something to say.
- 00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:10,090 Oh, weak!
- 00:18:10,215 --> 00:18:11,549 Folks, I apologize for this whole mess.
- 00:18:11,674 --> 00:18:13,343 I'm going to surrender.
- 00:18:13,468 --> 00:18:14,886 Somebody show the police a white flag.
- 00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:18,348 90 marshmallow, 91 marshmallow...
- 00:18:18,473 --> 00:18:20,016 This is making me hungry for marshmallows.
- 00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:22,102 92 marshmallow.
- 00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:26,231 Look out, he's got a white flag!
- 00:18:29,484 --> 00:18:30,985 Oh, my God!
- 00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:31,986 They killed the little orange coat kid.
- 00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:33,446 You bastards!
- 00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:38,701 They're surrendering.
- 00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:41,579 You're under arrest, buddy.
- 00:18:41,704 --> 00:18:43,414 Alright you, spread 'em.
- 00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:45,959 You're going back to prison to rot, Manson.
- 00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:48,128 - Good, I deserve to. - What?
- 00:18:48,253 --> 00:18:50,171 I can never make it up to the families that I destroyed.
- 00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:51,798 But at least I'll make an example
- 00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:53,967 for anyone else thinking that crime is an answer.
- 00:18:54,092 --> 00:18:56,094 Stop that! - You see, I get it now.
- 00:18:56,219 --> 00:18:58,680 I finally understand what the holidays are all about.
- 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,223 Boys, don't you see?
- 00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:01,850 You can't let things get you down
- 00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:03,351 during the holidays because being happy
- 00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:04,936 is what the holidays are all about.
- 00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:06,437 Charlie's right.
- 00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:07,438 I'm not gonna let some fake Mr. Hankey
- 00:19:07,564 --> 00:19:08,982 spoil my holidays.
- 00:19:09,107 --> 00:19:10,567 I've been such a bastard all these years,
- 00:19:10,692 --> 00:19:11,734 and I finally understand,
- 00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:13,820 and it feels great!
- 00:19:13,945 --> 00:19:16,406 I feel like I'm in my own Christmas special.
- 00:19:16,531 --> 00:19:18,074 You see...
- 00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:20,201 ♪ Holidays are that special time ♪
- 00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:23,288 ♪ When we laugh and sing and feel warm and cozy ♪
- 00:19:23,413 --> 00:19:28,084 ♪ Forget about being angry for a day ♪
- 00:19:29,294 --> 00:19:32,213 ♪ Remember how it felt to be a child ♪
- 00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:35,300 ♪ Opening presents on Christmas morning ♪
- 00:19:35,425 --> 00:19:39,846 ♪ That's the way that we should all feel now ♪
- 00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:42,765 ♪ So I say happy, happy, happy, happy ♪
- 00:19:42,891 --> 00:19:46,269 ♪ Happy, happy, holiday ♪
- 00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:48,021 ♪ Happy, happy, happy, happy ♪
- 00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:51,357 ♪ Happy, happy, holiday ♪
- 00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:54,611 ♪ Happy Kwanza too ♪
- 00:19:54,736 --> 00:19:58,615 ♪ From me to you ♪
- 00:19:58,740 --> 00:20:00,575 Happy holidays, you guys.
- 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:03,244 - Happy holidays, Bob. - Happy holidays, Chief.
- 00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:04,662 Come on, Manson. You belong in jail.
- 00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:06,497 You're darn right I do.
- 00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:07,874 Well, I guess I'll be going, Mom and Dad.
- 00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:09,250 I hope you can forgive me.
- 00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,502 Oh, of course, we forgive you, son.
- 00:20:11,628 --> 00:20:14,047 It was nice of you to pop in for the holidays.
- 00:20:14,172 --> 00:20:16,841 Yes, now, watch that ass in prison, son.
- 00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,384 I always do.
- 00:20:18,509 --> 00:20:19,469 See you Eric, thanks for all your help.
- 00:20:19,594 --> 00:20:21,262 See you, Uncle Howard.
- 00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:22,388 Thanks for being such a great role model for me.
- 00:20:22,513 --> 00:20:24,098 Piece of crap.
- 00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:25,850 I hope you can forgive me too, Mom.
- 00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:27,685 Oh Stanley, let's just forget the whole thing
- 00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:29,520 and have a nice holiday back home.
- 00:20:29,646 --> 00:20:31,189 Really?
- 00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:32,273 Sure, we'll punish you after the holidays.
- 00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:34,442 Hooray! Wait, what?
- 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,070 And so Manson is hauled off to jail to rot in his cell.
- 00:20:37,195 --> 00:20:38,905 Everything is back to normal,
- 00:20:39,030 --> 00:20:40,698 and I guess the only thing left to say is,
- 00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:41,824 God bless us, everyone.
- 00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:46,913 And I guess that's what I've learned.
- 00:20:47,038 --> 00:20:48,289 I'm sorry for what I did.
- 00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:49,332 But that doesn't make up for it.
- 00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:51,292 I deserve to be in jail.
- 00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:53,711 All I hope is I don't make mankind lose faith in itself.
- 00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:55,088 Yes, there's murders in the world,
- 00:20:55,213 --> 00:20:56,714 there's rapists and thieves.
- 00:20:56,839 --> 00:20:58,716 But those are the vast minority.
- 00:20:58,841 --> 00:21:00,510 The majority of mankind is made up of caring people
- 00:21:00,635 --> 00:21:02,512 who try every day to do what they think is right.
- 00:21:02,637 --> 00:21:04,347 And that's the spirit of the season.
- 00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:07,684 - What do you think, guys? - It sucks.
- 00:21:07,809 --> 00:21:09,811 Just like all your other books.
- 00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:14,107 Well, good night, you guys.
- 00:21:14,232 --> 00:21:15,817 - Happy holidays. - Shut up!
- 00:21:18,569 --> 00:21:20,822 What was that? What the...
- 00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:23,449 Merry Christmas, Charlie Manson!
- 00:21:23,574 --> 00:21:27,954 ♪ Hark the herald angels sing ♪
- 00:21:28,079 --> 00:21:32,333 ♪ Glory to the newborn king ♪
- 00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:36,796 ♪ Peace on earth and mercy mild ♪
- 00:21:36,921 --> 00:21:41,009 ♪ God and sinners reconciled ♪
- 00:21:41,134 --> 00:21:45,555 ♪ Joyful all ye nations rise ♪
- 00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:49,767 ♪ Join the triumph of the skies ♪
- 00:21:49,892 --> 00:21:54,314 ♪ Hark the herald angels sing ♪
- 00:21:54,439 --> 00:21:56,607 Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here.
- 00:00:09,593 --> 00:00:11,053 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:12,888 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:00:13,014 --> 00:00:14,682 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:00:14,807 --> 00:00:16,559 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:17,935 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:19,687 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:00:19,812 --> 00:00:21,272 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:00:21,397 --> 00:00:23,149 ♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
- 00:00:23,274 --> 00:00:24,567 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
- 00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:26,402 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:29,739 [mumbling]
- 00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:31,240 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:33,242 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:35,828 The answer is no, Stanley.
- 00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:37,329 But Mom, all the guys are going
- 00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:38,414 to Cartman's grandma's for the weekend.
- 00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,082 I'm sorry, Stanley,
- 00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:41,500 I can't let you go all the way to Nebraska
- 00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:43,461 by yourself, it's the holidays.
- 00:00:43,586 --> 00:00:44,462 But all the other guys get to go to Cartman's grandma's.
- 00:00:44,587 --> 00:00:45,880 Why can't I?
- 00:00:46,005 --> 00:00:47,048 I'll leave it up to your father.
- 00:00:47,173 --> 00:00:48,132 It's fine with me.
- 00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:49,300 The answer's no, Stanley!
- 00:00:49,425 --> 00:00:50,634 Now go wash up for supper!
- 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:51,677 I don't want your lame-ass supper!
- 00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:53,596 You're gonna get it now.
- 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:57,058 Go to your room, Stanley, right now!
- 00:00:57,183 --> 00:00:58,184 You can't tell me what to do.
- 00:00:58,309 --> 00:01:00,561 I'm eight years old.
- 00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:02,938 I don't need this stupid family anyway.
- 00:01:03,064 --> 00:01:05,649 It's so nice of you to take all the boys with you.
- 00:01:05,775 --> 00:01:06,901 It's my pleasure.
- 00:01:07,026 --> 00:01:08,486 Eric loves his little friends.
- 00:01:08,611 --> 00:01:09,612 Every time I go to my grandma's house
- 00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:11,238 she gives me a present.
- 00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:12,448 You watch, as soon as I walk in the door
- 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:13,991 she'll hand me a big present
- 00:01:14,116 --> 00:01:15,284 for no reason except that I'm cool.
- 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,994 That's nice, Cartman.
- 00:01:17,119 --> 00:01:18,496 Now, remember, if they have leftover turkey,
- 00:01:18,621 --> 00:01:20,164 put some in a bag and bring it home, okay?
- 00:01:20,289 --> 00:01:21,707 Okay, let's go.
- 00:01:21,832 --> 00:01:23,417 I didn't think you were coming, Stan.
- 00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:24,668 Of course I'm coming, come on, let's hurry.
- 00:01:24,794 --> 00:01:25,920 Good-bye, bubby, be careful.
- 00:01:26,045 --> 00:01:27,797 See you in a couple days, son.
- 00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:30,758 Shotgun, it's my car, I called it first, shotgun!
- 00:01:30,883 --> 00:01:32,510 Kenny, I called shotgun.
- 00:01:33,511 --> 00:01:35,888 Dammit, Kenny, get in the back.
- 00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:38,682 Hey, Kenny, there's a sale on orange jackets over there.
- 00:01:39,975 --> 00:01:42,436 Look, Kenny, there's an elephant parade.
- 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:46,023 Kenny, Kenny, look, look.
- 00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:47,525 Go get it, go get it!
- 00:01:47,650 --> 00:01:50,653 You poor piece of crap.
- 00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:54,281 - So how far is it to Nebraska? - About six hours.
- 00:01:54,406 --> 00:01:56,367 Oh, my God, what the hell are we gonna do for six hours?
- 00:01:56,492 --> 00:01:58,536 Well, I've got an idea, we could sing.
- 00:01:58,661 --> 00:02:00,538 Yeah, or we could not.
- 00:02:00,663 --> 00:02:02,540 Let's sing that one grandma song, Ma, how does that go?
- 00:02:02,665 --> 00:02:04,208 ♪ Over the meadow and through the woods ♪
- 00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:06,335 ♪ To grandmother's house we go ♪
- 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,087 ♪ The horse knows the way to carry the sleigh ♪
- 00:02:08,212 --> 00:02:10,172 ♪ Through the white and wooly snow, oh ♪
- 00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:11,882 ♪ Over the meadow and through the woods ♪
- 00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:14,051 ♪ To grandmother's house we go ♪
- 00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:15,427 ♪ The horse knows the way to carry the sleigh ♪
- 00:02:15,553 --> 00:02:18,389 Please stop. Please stop.
- 00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:19,974 ♪ Over the meadow and through the woods ♪
- 00:02:20,099 --> 00:02:21,559 ♪ To grandmother's house we go ♪
- 00:02:21,684 --> 00:02:23,435 Ooh, careful hon, these roads are bumpy.
- 00:02:23,561 --> 00:02:26,397 - I guess, damn! - Here we go, kids.
- 00:02:26,522 --> 00:02:29,650 We're crossing the state line into Nebraska.
- 00:02:35,364 --> 00:02:36,949 - This is Nebraska? - What's all that stuff?
- 00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:39,326 Wheat, the building block of your favorite foods
- 00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:42,371 and Nebraska's principal source of economic productivity.
- 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,081 You see, when Nebraska first became...
- 00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:46,625 - We don't care, Mom. - Hey, look!
- 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:49,211 "See Mr. Hankey at the Mall of Nebraska".
- 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:50,796 Wow, we have to go, dude.
- 00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:52,548 I thought Mr. Hankey lived in a sewer.
- 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,258 - What's he doing in Nebraska? - I don't know.
- 00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:55,926 Ever since he was in that movie, he got all famous.
- 00:02:56,051 --> 00:02:57,636 Oh, so now everybody wants to meet Mr. Hankey.
- 00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:59,305 - He's a piece of crap. - It doesn't matter.
- 00:02:59,430 --> 00:03:00,556 He'll be most excited to see me.
- 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,016 That shouldn't be a problem.
- 00:03:02,141 --> 00:03:03,684 Eric's grandma's right near the mall.
- 00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,352 Cool!
- 00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:07,104 How much further is it to Grandma's house?
- 00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:08,147 I wanna see what kind of presents she got me.
- 00:03:08,272 --> 00:03:09,815 About another hour, hon.
- 00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:11,483 Why does Grandma have to live so far away?
- 00:03:11,609 --> 00:03:12,943 Why don't we just stick her in a nursing home
- 00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:14,403 closer to us so I don't have to drive
- 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,280 six hours to get a goddamn present?!
- 00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:17,489 Now, Eric, let's try to get out of that grumpy mood
- 00:03:17,615 --> 00:03:19,158 before we get to Grandma's.
- 00:03:19,283 --> 00:03:21,118 ♪ Over the meadow and through the woods ♪
- 00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:22,369 ♪ To grandmother's house we go... ♪
- 00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:24,413 Oh, God.
- 00:03:27,583 --> 00:03:29,877 - Here we are. - Jesus Christ, finally!
- 00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:33,631 Grandma, Grandma, Grandma, Grandma!
- 00:03:33,756 --> 00:03:35,799 Hey, it's little Eric.
- 00:03:35,925 --> 00:03:37,343 - Hi, Grandpa. - Look how big you've gotten.
- 00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:39,678 Hi, Eric. Grandma got you a present.
- 00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:41,013 Sweet, what is it?
- 00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:42,181 It's inside.
- 00:03:42,306 --> 00:03:43,807 Yes, move it!
- 00:03:43,933 --> 00:03:46,227 Hello everyone, happy holidays.
- 00:03:46,352 --> 00:03:48,312 all: Hello! - These are Eric's friends.
- 00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:50,147 Stan, Kyle, and Kenny.
- 00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:52,483 Boys, let me introduce you to the Cartman family.
- 00:03:52,608 --> 00:03:55,319 - This is Uncle Stinky. - Nice to have you here-ah.
- 00:03:55,444 --> 00:03:58,697 Aunt Lisa, cousin Fred, cousin Alexandra, Fat Bob,
- 00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:01,283 Jimmy, and Great-Grandma Florence.
- 00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:02,868 Come here, Eric,
- 00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:05,079 give your great-grandma some huggies.
- 00:04:05,204 --> 00:04:06,997 No, no, Florence, that's not Eric.
- 00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:09,375 Oh, which one is he then? - The fat one.
- 00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:11,502 He's not fat, he's big-boned. - I'm not fat, I'm big-boned.
- 00:04:11,627 --> 00:04:12,836 That was totally gross.
- 00:04:12,962 --> 00:04:14,171 She smelled like vitamins and pee.
- 00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:15,631 Sick, dude. - Alrighty then.
- 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:16,882 Let's get to my present, shall we?
- 00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:18,050 Here you go, Eric.
- 00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:19,551 Happy holidays.
- 00:04:19,677 --> 00:04:21,136 Wait a minute,
- 00:04:21,262 --> 00:04:22,805 This isn't a present, it's a shirt!
- 00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:24,890 Yes, I thought that would look really good on you.
- 00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:27,101 Are you telling me that I drove nine hours
- 00:04:27,226 --> 00:04:29,603 through butt-fuck nowhere to get a Goddamn shirt?!
- 00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:31,063 Mom, Grandma's gone senile.
- 00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:33,524 It's time to stick her in a home.
- 00:04:33,649 --> 00:04:35,943 Well, this is what the holidays are about.
- 00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:37,945 Family. - Yeah, right.
- 00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:40,489 Well, what does your family do for the holidays, Stan?
- 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,700 My family's dead.
- 00:04:42,825 --> 00:04:44,868 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Stanley.
- 00:04:44,994 --> 00:04:46,704 Dude, your family died? - They're dead to me.
- 00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:48,122 My mom doesn't even know I'm here.
- 00:04:48,247 --> 00:04:49,707 What?
- 00:04:49,832 --> 00:04:50,874 I can't believe I got a stupid shirt.
- 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,543 The holidays are bullcrap.
- 00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:53,752 Here, Kyle, will you hold Great-Grandma's
- 00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:54,962 catheter bag during dinner?
- 00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:56,547 What is this?
- 00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:58,132 Great-Grandmother has a bladder problem.
- 00:04:58,257 --> 00:04:59,967 - This helps her out. - Sick, dude.
- 00:05:00,092 --> 00:05:01,927 Eric, did you say hi to your little cousin Elvin?
- 00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:04,555 Hi, cousin Elvin. - Sweet.
- 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,557 Well, it certainly is nice
- 00:05:06,682 --> 00:05:08,892 we could all gather here-ah for the holidays.
- 00:05:09,018 --> 00:05:10,853 Even Uncle Howard has joined us
- 00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:13,564 live via satellite from the state penitentiary.
- 00:05:13,689 --> 00:05:15,816 Whoa, dude. - You look good, Howard.
- 00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:17,526 No, I don't. - Hi, Howard.
- 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,278 Dude, is he here every year like this?
- 00:05:19,403 --> 00:05:21,196 Yep.
- 00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:22,656 Sweet.
- 00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:24,199 [straining and groaning]
- 00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:25,659 Come on, let's eat already.
- 00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:26,910 They gave me extra bread and water.
- 00:05:27,036 --> 00:05:28,370 Where's your manners, Howard?
- 00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,205 We haven't even said grace yet.
- 00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:33,042 Mom, will you do the honors of saying grace?
- 00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:35,919 God damn it, why the hell do I always have to say grace?
- 00:05:36,045 --> 00:05:37,921 If one more person asks me to say grace,
- 00:05:38,047 --> 00:05:39,340 I'll be like...
- 00:05:39,465 --> 00:05:40,716 I'm not saying grace!
- 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,217 And if you ask me again,
- 00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:44,178 I'll kick you square in the nuts.
- 00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:46,930 - Amen. all: Amen.
- 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:50,267 Jesus, dude.
- 00:05:52,353 --> 00:05:54,271 [whining]
- 00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:57,900 No, Jimmy, this is my pot pie. No, Jimmy, that's a bad Jimmy.
- 00:05:58,025 --> 00:05:59,360 Bad Jimmy.
- 00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:01,904 No, Jimmy, that's Grandpa's pot pie.
- 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:04,448 all: No, Jimmy!
- 00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:05,949 Dude, I don't know how long I can stay here.
- 00:06:06,075 --> 00:06:07,076 I know what you mean.
- 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,624 - Ah! - What, dude?
- 00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:15,042 Dude, I was having this horrible nightmare
- 00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:16,418 that we were at this house
- 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,170 and it was filled with Cartmans.
- 00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:19,630 Kyle, we are at a house filled with Cartmans.
- 00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:21,632 Oh... ah!
- 00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:22,674 [dishes breaking] What was that?
- 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:24,218 I heard it too.
- 00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:25,594 Whatever it is, it's getting closer.
- 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,262 Ow, what the hell was that for?
- 00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:28,931 I wanted to make sure we're not dreaming.
- 00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:30,557 - Ow! - I wanted to make sure too.
- 00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:32,059 Well you're not dreaming. Hey! Cut the crap.
- 00:06:32,184 --> 00:06:33,769 Dude, it's coming through the window.
- 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:36,355 Ah! - Ah!
- 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,315 Uncle Howard.
- 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:39,817 Oh, hey Eric, I didn't think anybody would be down here.
- 00:06:39,942 --> 00:06:42,027 Uncle Howard, what are you doing here?
- 00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:43,570 We thought you were in jail. - Yeah, well, I busted out.
- 00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,406 Wow, cool! - Shhh...
- 00:06:45,531 --> 00:06:46,990 We can't let the rest of the family know I'm here.
- 00:06:47,116 --> 00:06:48,700 Okay.
- 00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:50,077 If it's okay, we're just gonna hang out here
- 00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:51,787 for a couple days with you kids.
- 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,831 Who's "we"? You got a turd in your pocket?
- 00:06:53,956 --> 00:06:55,249 Come on up, it's okay.
- 00:06:55,374 --> 00:06:56,834 Another inmate busted out with me.
- 00:06:56,959 --> 00:06:58,502 Don't worry, he's a good guy.
- 00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:01,547 Oh, hi, boys. I'm Charlie, Charlie Manson!
- 00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:07,469 I can't wait to get out among the pigs
- 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:08,762 and raise some hell.
- 00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:10,222 Alright, Chuck,
- 00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:12,182 but we gotta lay low for a while.
- 00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:14,101 When I stand on the mountain and say do it, it gets done.
- 00:07:14,226 --> 00:07:16,103 And if it don't get done, then I'll move on it.
- 00:07:16,228 --> 00:07:17,813 And that's the last thing in the world you want me to do.
- 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:20,357 Alright Chuck, just watch some TV or something.
- 00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:22,901 Now back to...
- 00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:25,696 You can't just buy people, Mr. Potter.
- 00:07:25,821 --> 00:07:28,323 You know what you are? You're a little bitch.
- 00:07:28,449 --> 00:07:30,117 That's right, you're a bitch,
- 00:07:30,242 --> 00:07:31,618 and I bet you'd like to suck it, wouldn't you?
- 00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,162 Wake up Cartman.
- 00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:34,788 We gotta get to the mall. - What?
- 00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:35,998 We have to go see Mr. Hankey at the mall.
- 00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,583 Alright, keep your pants on.
- 00:07:37,708 --> 00:07:38,584 Hey, bring us down some food, alright?
- 00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:40,294 Okay.
- 00:07:40,419 --> 00:07:41,795 Come on, D.
- 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:42,796 Can somebody drive us to the mall?
- 00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:44,715 all: Yeah!
- 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,300 Hello, Mr. Hankey is appearing at the mall.
- 00:07:46,425 --> 00:07:48,719 Can somebody please take us?
- 00:07:48,844 --> 00:07:50,804 Uncle Stinky, can you drive us to the mall?
- 00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:52,973 Not now, Eric. Holding! He held him. Where's the flag?
- 00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:54,766 Uncle Stinky, my stupid friends wanna see Mr. Hankey.
- 00:07:54,892 --> 00:07:55,851 You have to take us.
- 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,269 I said no, and I mean no.
- 00:07:57,394 --> 00:07:59,480 Respect my authority.
- 00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:01,148 [grumbling]
- 00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:02,941 With only 16 seconds left, the Cornhusker--
- 00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:05,194 We interrupt this broadcast for a news bulletin.
- 00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:06,820 What!
- 00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:08,322 Mass murderer and extremely nasty person
- 00:08:08,447 --> 00:08:10,532 Charles Manson has escaped from prison.
- 00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,159 Manson was the man responsible
- 00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:14,328 for seven murders in the late '60s.
- 00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:15,954 Manson has never shown any signs of remorse
- 00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:17,706 for his crime.
- 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,291 If you see Manson, please kick his ass
- 00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:21,460 and smash his fucking face in for me.
- 00:08:21,585 --> 00:08:23,587 And then call the police. And now back to the game.
- 00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:25,422 And they've done it!
- 00:08:25,547 --> 00:08:27,841 They've scored 16 unanswered points in 15 seconds.
- 00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:29,551 all: Oh, weak!
- 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,011 Eric, I need you to take care
- 00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:33,013 of your cousin Elvin for a while.
- 00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:35,098 I don't want to take care of cousin Elvin!
- 00:08:35,224 --> 00:08:37,226 Won't you do it for Grandma?
- 00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:39,937 Alright, give me $10.
- 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,690 Kickass.
- 00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:45,526 Chuck, can you turn that damn thing down?
- 00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:48,195 Hello, movie house! Hello, burger parlor!
- 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:49,780 You know what the spirit of Christmas is?
- 00:08:49,905 --> 00:08:51,782 It's another lie from the lying pigs
- 00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:53,242 that consider me the witness--
- 00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:55,494 Okay, Chuck, thank you very much.
- 00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:57,079 - My family sucks ass. - Yeah, they do.
- 00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,789 All families suck ass.
- 00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:00,207 Here, we got you some sticky cinnamon buns.
- 00:09:00,332 --> 00:09:02,334 - Wow, sweet. - Hey!
- 00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:03,835 Dude, we have to get to the mall.
- 00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:05,087 You guys, seriously.
- 00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:06,630 What's the matter?
- 00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:08,382 My stupid friends want to go to the mall
- 00:09:08,507 --> 00:09:09,716 to visit Mr. Hankey but nobody would drive us.
- 00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:11,510 - Oh, bummer. - I'll take you.
- 00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:13,178 That's okay, Chuck,
- 00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:14,888 you just keep watching Christmas specials.
- 00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:16,515 Hey, I didn't bust out of prison
- 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:17,558 to be locked up in somebody's basement.
- 00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:18,725 I want some action.
- 00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,394 Good for you, Charlie.
- 00:09:20,519 --> 00:09:22,187 Come on, I'll hotwire your grandpa's car.
- 00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:24,064 Do you really think we should go with this guy?
- 00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:25,941 Stan, don't be such a dumbass. You have to trust people.
- 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,609 Alright boys, keep your heads down.
- 00:09:31,196 --> 00:09:32,614 We're going to the mall.
- 00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,783 all: Hooray!
- 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:35,909 I just can't believe he would go
- 00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,202 without our permission.
- 00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:38,996 Now, Sharon, don't overreact.
- 00:09:39,121 --> 00:09:40,872 Maybe Stan didn't go to Cartman's grandmother's.
- 00:09:40,998 --> 00:09:42,541 Maybe he just ran away or got kidnapped or something.
- 00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:45,127 I hope for his sake you're right.
- 00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:46,920 Hello.
- 00:09:47,045 --> 00:09:48,672 Hello, Ms. Cartman, it's Sharon, Stan's mother.
- 00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:50,132 Did Stanley go up there to Nebraska with you?
- 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:51,508 Oh, why yes, he did.
- 00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:53,010 I thought you were dead, Sharon.
- 00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:54,511 What?
- 00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:56,054 Stanley told me you had passed on.
- 00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:57,681 I'm glad to see that you're better.
- 00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:59,641 Get the car, Randy, we're going to Nebraska.
- 00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:02,519 Ooh, Stan's in trouble.
- 00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:08,066 Do you see him?
- 00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:10,068 Not yet, I think we still have a ways to go.
- 00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:11,987 I can't wait to see him. He's gonna be so glad we came.
- 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,281 I drove all the way from Montana to see Mr. Hankey.
- 00:10:14,406 --> 00:10:15,907 That's nice, kid.
- 00:10:16,033 --> 00:10:17,618 I knew Mr. Hankey before he was even famous.
- 00:10:17,743 --> 00:10:18,994 How the hell did Mr. Hankey get so popular?
- 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,662 Look at all this Mr. Hankey stuff.
- 00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,247 Mr. Hankey kicks ass.
- 00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:23,707 And another thing,
- 00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:24,833 it says Mr. Hankey is also appearing
- 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,293 at the Crossroads Mall.
- 00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:27,586 So?
- 00:10:27,711 --> 00:10:29,087 So how could Mr. Hankey be here
- 00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:30,589 and at another mall at the same time?
- 00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:31,798 Dude, Mr. Hankey has magic powers.
- 00:10:31,923 --> 00:10:33,800 He can do whatever he wants.
- 00:10:36,011 --> 00:10:37,429 How would you like to come with me
- 00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:38,889 to a more secluded part of the mall?
- 00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:40,182 [muffled] Okay.
- 00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,017 I really like that guy.
- 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,977 Oh, looks like you finished your Fudgsicle, Elvin.
- 00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:47,689 [crying]
- 00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:51,276 God damn it, be quiet, shut up, Elvin!
- 00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:57,783 No, Elvin. Bad Elvin.
- 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,874 Folks need to understand that I am terror.
- 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,959 I am fear, I am...
- 00:11:08,085 --> 00:11:09,711 oh, hey look, another holiday special.
- 00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,838 And now back to "The Grinchy Poo"!
- 00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:13,924 The Grinchy Poo went up the chimney
- 00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:15,717 and stuffed the tree up.
- 00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:18,595 But then he heard a coo like the cry of a dove.
- 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,347 It was little Cindy Lou Poo,
- 00:11:20,472 --> 00:11:22,057 who was no more than two.
- 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:23,725 Mr. Hankey, why?
- 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:25,894 Why are you taking our Christmas tree?
- 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,729 Why?
- 00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,356 That old Grinchy Poo thought up a lie,
- 00:11:29,481 --> 00:11:30,774 and he thought it up quick.
- 00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:32,359 Alright boys, you're next.
- 00:11:32,484 --> 00:11:33,735 Welcome to Mr. Hankey's Happy Lolly Land.
- 00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:35,237 Oh boy, here we go.
- 00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:37,948 Howdy-ho, boys.
- 00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:39,533 Mr. Hankey?
- 00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:41,535 Gosh, you boys smell like flowers.
- 00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:43,161 You're not the real Mr. Hankey.
- 00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:45,205 Sure I am, howdy-ho.
- 00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:46,998 You look a lot bigger than the last time we saw you.
- 00:11:47,124 --> 00:11:49,292 Well, Mr. Hankey has to grow too, you know.
- 00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:50,877 Howdy-ho.
- 00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:52,504 You boys want your picture with Mr. Hankey?
- 00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:54,423 This is not Mr. Hankey, this is a fake!
- 00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:55,465 [all gasp]
- 00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:56,758 [crying]
- 00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:58,635 It's okay kids, I'm real.
- 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,387 Howdy-ho.
- 00:12:00,512 --> 00:12:02,055 all: Howdy-ho!
- 00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,682 Why are you people doing this?
- 00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:05,517 Why would you lie like this? To children?
- 00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:06,768 Look kid, there's Mr. Hankeys like me
- 00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:07,978 in every shopping mall.
- 00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:09,271 There is no real Mr. Hankey.
- 00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:10,772 What? What did you say?
- 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,399 Oh boy, you've done it now.
- 00:12:12,524 --> 00:12:14,693 Behold, here's your false prophet.
- 00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:15,777 [all gasping]
- 00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:18,113 all: Boo!
- 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,699 - Ow! - Get him!
- 00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:22,200 Son of a bitch!
- 00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:23,744 You lied to me, Mother.
- 00:12:23,869 --> 00:12:24,911 You said it was the real Mr. Hankey.
- 00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:26,288 Well, yes, but...
- 00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:27,622 I will not forget this, Mother.
- 00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,082 I will not forget this ever.
- 00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:31,918 This is revolution!
- 00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:34,713 [screaming] - Uh-oh, they're rioting again.
- 00:12:37,007 --> 00:12:39,009 And all the Poos down in Pooville
- 00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:40,802 joined hands and they sang.
- 00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,596 They sang all the same.
- 00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:45,015 And he himself, the Grinchy Poo,
- 00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,808 carved the roast poo.
- 00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,643 Wow, man, that's beautiful.
- 00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:51,521 He was evil, but now he's good.
- 00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:53,607 [grunting]
- 00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:54,733 What's happening?
- 00:12:54,858 --> 00:12:56,193 Some kid must have said
- 00:12:56,318 --> 00:12:58,195 it wasn't the real Mr. Hankey again.
- 00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:02,908 Use the tear gas!
- 00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:06,244 [coughing]
- 00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:07,829 I told you guys the holiday season
- 00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:09,164 is nothing but lies and bullcrap.
- 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:10,707 Well, how was it?
- 00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:12,083 - It was a fake. - Oh, I'm sorry.
- 00:13:12,209 --> 00:13:13,543 Cartman was right,
- 00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:14,920 the holiday season is for idiots.
- 00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:16,630 Where did you go, Uncle Charlie?
- 00:13:16,755 --> 00:13:18,089 I went to a beauty parlor and had my tattoo redone.
- 00:13:18,215 --> 00:13:19,466 - Look. - Oh, that's pretty cool.
- 00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:20,634 Hey, where's Kenny?
- 00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:22,511 Oh, he's around.
- 00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:24,638 [muffled] - Oh, hey Kenny.
- 00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:27,182 Come on, I'll buy you kids an orange smoothie.
- 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:30,435 Hey, there he is! That's Charlie Manson!
- 00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,687 Run for your lives, boys!
- 00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:37,275 Wait... you guys... seriously.
- 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,402 Come back here, God damn it!
- 00:13:39,528 --> 00:13:41,404 [tires screech]
- 00:13:41,530 --> 00:13:43,281 Oh, getting away!
- 00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:45,867 [sirens]
- 00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:47,911 Keep your heads down, kids.
- 00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:49,538 [gunshots]
- 00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:51,581 Hey, what the hell is wrong with you people?
- 00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:53,667 I can't believe they would put a fake Mr. Hankey in the mall.
- 00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:55,794 If Mr. Hankey ever found out, he'd be so pissed.
- 00:13:55,919 --> 00:13:57,003 We interrupt this program
- 00:13:57,128 --> 00:13:58,880 for a breaking news story.
- 00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:00,674 A high speed car chase is happening right now
- 00:14:00,799 --> 00:14:02,300 on Interstate 3.
- 00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:04,135 We go now to our live Sky-5 helicopter.
- 00:14:04,261 --> 00:14:05,720 Ron, it looks as though the chase
- 00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:07,681 is proceeding west down the interstate.
- 00:14:07,806 --> 00:14:09,850 Oh, that looks a lot like your car, Harold.
- 00:14:09,975 --> 00:14:11,893 We understand that Charles Manson is inside the car
- 00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,896 with several hostages, all of whom are children.
- 00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,690 My God, what is this world coming to?
- 00:14:16,815 --> 00:14:18,525 Well, we'd like to take a moment to tell you
- 00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:19,693 that this car chase is being brought to you
- 00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:21,695 by Snacky S'mores:
- 00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:23,822 the creamy fun of S'mores in a delightful cookie crunch.
- 00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:26,241 They're gaining on us.
- 00:14:28,827 --> 00:14:30,078 Fudgsicle!
- 00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:32,747 [tires screeching]
- 00:14:32,873 --> 00:14:34,040 Kickass.
- 00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:35,458 God, I hate the holiday season.
- 00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:43,133 Oh, hello kids, having fun?
- 00:14:43,258 --> 00:14:46,511 Get in the house! - Alrighty then.
- 00:14:46,636 --> 00:14:48,013 Lock the door.
- 00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:49,681 Oh, my God, it's Charlie Manson, wow!
- 00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:51,433 What's going on?
- 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,018 There's a bunch of policemen chasing after us.
- 00:14:53,143 --> 00:14:54,519 Quiet down, we're watching television.
- 00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:56,479 Oh, Phillip, what a festive season.
- 00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:58,023 That's right, Terrance. This is the season for sharing.
- 00:14:58,148 --> 00:14:59,566 [farts]
- 00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:00,609 The cops are here.
- 00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:01,693 Howard?
- 00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:03,862 How did you get out, son?
- 00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:05,739 Alright Manson, we know you're in there.
- 00:15:05,864 --> 00:15:07,949 Come out peacefully and we'll shoot you.
- 00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:09,659 Tell him we won't shoot him. - Oh, yeah, that's a good idea.
- 00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:12,787 Come out peacefully and we won't shoot you.
- 00:15:12,913 --> 00:15:16,207 Oh, look, Police Chief Stevens got a new haircut.
- 00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:17,959 Get down, Ma!
- 00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:19,628 Hey man, don't point a gun at your own mother.
- 00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:21,212 What the hell is wrong with you, Manson?
- 00:15:21,338 --> 00:15:22,756 You're acting all funny.
- 00:15:22,881 --> 00:15:24,299 Everybody just sit down and shut up.
- 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:25,842 We're not going back to the big house.
- 00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:27,177 Well, Howard, you've done it again.
- 00:15:27,302 --> 00:15:28,720 You ruined Christmas.
- 00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,555 This is Robert Pooner reporting live
- 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:32,641 from Nebraska where escaped convict Charlie Manson
- 00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:34,100 has walled himself up in a house.
- 00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:35,852 We understand there are hostages
- 00:15:35,977 --> 00:15:37,604 and that the situation is critical.
- 00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:38,855 So we would like to remind you all
- 00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:40,523 that this live hostage crisis
- 00:15:40,649 --> 00:15:42,400 is being brought to you by Palmoral sunblock.
- 00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:44,611 Remember, if it isn't Palmoral. you're gonna get cancer.
- 00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:46,613 What's going on here?
- 00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:48,365 We've got a critical situation, ma'am.
- 00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:50,241 Charlie Manson is holding everybody inside hostage.
- 00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:51,660 Is this the Cartman residence?
- 00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:53,078 - Yes, ma'am. - Give me that!
- 00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:55,246 Stanley, this is your mother!
- 00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:56,831 Uh-oh.
- 00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:57,999 What's your mom doing here, dude?
- 00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,626 Young man, I have had it.
- 00:15:59,751 --> 00:16:01,544 You have disobeyed me for the last time.
- 00:16:01,670 --> 00:16:03,004 Wow, she's really pissed.
- 00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:04,756 I'm glad I'm not you right now, kid.
- 00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:07,842 What do you have to say for yourself, Stanley?
- 00:16:07,968 --> 00:16:09,761 Sorry.
- 00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:12,347 Still more developments in the Manson hostage crisis.
- 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,766 It appears now that eight-year-old Stan Marsh
- 00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:16,351 is in big, big, trouble.
- 00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,186 He apparently disobeyed his parents,
- 00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,021 left home without telling them.
- 00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,774 And, Tom, his mother is very disappointed with him.
- 00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,442 Damn it, what are we gonna do?
- 00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:26,611 Shh, we're watching television.
- 00:16:26,736 --> 00:16:28,154 [laughing]
- 00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:29,239 [farts]
- 00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:30,281 Wait! Wait!
- 00:16:30,407 --> 00:16:31,449 [farts]
- 00:16:31,574 --> 00:16:32,492 [laughing]
- 00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:33,493 Hold on.
- 00:16:33,618 --> 00:16:35,036 [farts]
- 00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:36,121 Over here, over here.
- 00:16:36,246 --> 00:16:37,664 [farts]
- 00:16:37,789 --> 00:16:38,707 Here comes one...
- 00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:40,417 [farts]
- 00:16:40,542 --> 00:16:41,626 Hold on, wait, wait.
- 00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:42,919 Come out with your hands up.
- 00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:44,629 Damn it, Dad,
- 00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:46,381 why didn't you put a back door on this house?
- 00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:48,174 Well, there's that old window in the bathroom.
- 00:16:48,299 --> 00:16:49,551 You could probably squeeze through there.
- 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,094 That's it.
- 00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:52,262 We're going out the bathroom window.
- 00:16:52,387 --> 00:16:54,139 Come on, Manson.
- 00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:55,807 But I gotta see what happens. - Come on, damn it.
- 00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:57,684 Well, it was good seeing you all.
- 00:16:57,809 --> 00:16:59,019 Don't move until we're gone, or I'll shoot you dead.
- 00:16:59,144 --> 00:17:00,145 Happy holidays.
- 00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:01,771 all: Happy holidays.
- 00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:06,151 Dude, they're gonna kill me.
- 00:17:06,276 --> 00:17:07,485 Alright Manson, this is it.
- 00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,487 We're coming in after you.
- 00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:11,489 There's gonna be a lot of bloodshed,
- 00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:13,450 and a lot of innocent people are gonna die.
- 00:17:13,575 --> 00:17:16,369 You've got until 100-marshmallow to come out.
- 00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:18,246 One marshmallow.
- 00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,165 Two marshmallow.
- 00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:21,499 Three marshmallow.
- 00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:23,460 Alright, it's open, let's go.
- 00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:25,336 Excuse me, I want to go with you.
- 00:17:25,462 --> 00:17:27,172 Please, I don't want to go back with them.
- 00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:28,923 But Stan, your mother and father are out there.
- 00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:30,425 I know, they've come to punish me.
- 00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,093 All they want to do is make me pay
- 00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:33,261 for coming to Nebraska in the first place.
- 00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,429 Alright kid, you can come.
- 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,056 Now, let's go.
- 00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:37,557 Stan, I want to talk to you about family.
- 00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:38,850 What? - What?
- 00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:40,518 You see, I had a family once.
- 00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:42,729 At least, I called them my family.
- 00:17:42,854 --> 00:17:44,522 Really they were nothing but a gang of people
- 00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:46,566 I thought were my friends.
- 00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:48,485 After we killed a bunch of people together,
- 00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:51,321 I realized that my real family was who took care of me
- 00:17:51,446 --> 00:17:53,490 and who took the time to care about what I did.
- 00:17:53,615 --> 00:17:55,533 But they don't care about me, they just want to punish me.
- 00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,285 If they don't care about you,
- 00:17:57,410 --> 00:18:00,205 would they have driven nine hours to Nebraska?
- 00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:03,792 I guess you're right, Uncle Charlie, thanks.
- 00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:05,919 Now can we go? - No, Howard.
- 00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:08,004 You go ahead. I've got something to say.
- 00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:10,090 Oh, weak!
- 00:18:10,215 --> 00:18:11,549 Folks, I apologize for this whole mess.
- 00:18:11,674 --> 00:18:13,343 I'm going to surrender.
- 00:18:13,468 --> 00:18:14,886 Somebody show the police a white flag.
- 00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:18,348 90 marshmallow, 91 marshmallow...
- 00:18:18,473 --> 00:18:20,016 This is making me hungry for marshmallows.
- 00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:22,102 92 marshmallow.
- 00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:26,231 Look out, he's got a white flag!
- 00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:29,359 [gunshots]
- 00:18:29,484 --> 00:18:30,985 Oh, my God!
- 00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:31,986 They killed the little orange coat kid.
- 00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:33,446 You bastards!
- 00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:38,701 They're surrendering.
- 00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:41,579 You're under arrest, buddy.
- 00:18:41,704 --> 00:18:43,414 Alright you, spread 'em.
- 00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:45,959 You're going back to prison to rot, Manson.
- 00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:48,128 - Good, I deserve to. - What?
- 00:18:48,253 --> 00:18:50,171 I can never make it up to the families that I destroyed.
- 00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:51,798 But at least I'll make an example
- 00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:53,967 for anyone else thinking that crime is an answer.
- 00:18:54,092 --> 00:18:56,094 Stop that! - You see, I get it now.
- 00:18:56,219 --> 00:18:58,680 I finally understand what the holidays are all about.
- 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,223 Boys, don't you see?
- 00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:01,850 You can't let things get you down
- 00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:03,351 during the holidays because being happy
- 00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:04,936 is what the holidays are all about.
- 00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:06,437 Charlie's right.
- 00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:07,438 I'm not gonna let some fake Mr. Hankey
- 00:19:07,564 --> 00:19:08,982 spoil my holidays.
- 00:19:09,107 --> 00:19:10,567 I've been such a bastard all these years,
- 00:19:10,692 --> 00:19:11,734 and I finally understand,
- 00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:13,820 and it feels great!
- 00:19:13,945 --> 00:19:16,406 I feel like I'm in my own Christmas special.
- 00:19:16,531 --> 00:19:18,074 You see...
- 00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:20,201 ♪ Holidays are that special time ♪
- 00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:23,288 ♪ When we laugh and sing and feel warm and cozy ♪
- 00:19:23,413 --> 00:19:28,084 ♪ Forget about being angry for a day ♪
- 00:19:29,294 --> 00:19:32,213 ♪ Remember how it felt to be a child ♪
- 00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:35,300 ♪ Opening presents on Christmas morning ♪
- 00:19:35,425 --> 00:19:39,846 ♪ That's the way that we should all feel now ♪
- 00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:42,765 ♪ So I say happy, happy, happy, happy ♪
- 00:19:42,891 --> 00:19:46,269 ♪ Happy, happy, holiday ♪
- 00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:48,021 ♪ Happy, happy, happy, happy ♪
- 00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:51,357 ♪ Happy, happy, holiday ♪
- 00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:54,611 ♪ Happy Kwanza too ♪
- 00:19:54,736 --> 00:19:58,615 ♪ From me to you ♪
- 00:19:58,740 --> 00:20:00,575 Happy holidays, you guys.
- 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:03,244 - Happy holidays, Bob. - Happy holidays, Chief.
- 00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:04,662 Come on, Manson. You belong in jail.
- 00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:06,497 You're darn right I do.
- 00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:07,874 Well, I guess I'll be going, Mom and Dad.
- 00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:09,250 I hope you can forgive me.
- 00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,502 Oh, of course, we forgive you, son.
- 00:20:11,628 --> 00:20:14,047 It was nice of you to pop in for the holidays.
- 00:20:14,172 --> 00:20:16,841 Yes, now, watch that ass in prison, son.
- 00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,384 I always do.
- 00:20:18,509 --> 00:20:19,469 See you Eric, thanks for all your help.
- 00:20:19,594 --> 00:20:21,262 See you, Uncle Howard.
- 00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:22,388 Thanks for being such a great role model for me.
- 00:20:22,513 --> 00:20:24,098 Piece of crap.
- 00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:25,850 I hope you can forgive me too, Mom.
- 00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:27,685 Oh Stanley, let's just forget the whole thing
- 00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:29,520 and have a nice holiday back home.
- 00:20:29,646 --> 00:20:31,189 Really?
- 00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:32,273 Sure, we'll punish you after the holidays.
- 00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:34,442 Hooray! Wait, what?
- 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,070 And so Manson is hauled off to jail to rot in his cell.
- 00:20:37,195 --> 00:20:38,905 Everything is back to normal,
- 00:20:39,030 --> 00:20:40,698 and I guess the only thing left to say is,
- 00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:41,824 God bless us, everyone.
- 00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:46,913 And I guess that's what I've learned.
- 00:20:47,038 --> 00:20:48,289 I'm sorry for what I did.
- 00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:49,332 But that doesn't make up for it.
- 00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:51,292 I deserve to be in jail.
- 00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:53,711 All I hope is I don't make mankind lose faith in itself.
- 00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:55,088 Yes, there's murders in the world,
- 00:20:55,213 --> 00:20:56,714 there's rapists and thieves.
- 00:20:56,839 --> 00:20:58,716 But those are the vast minority.
- 00:20:58,841 --> 00:21:00,510 The majority of mankind is made up of caring people
- 00:21:00,635 --> 00:21:02,512 who try every day to do what they think is right.
- 00:21:02,637 --> 00:21:04,347 And that's the spirit of the season.
- 00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:07,684 - What do you think, guys? - It sucks.
- 00:21:07,809 --> 00:21:09,811 Just like all your other books.
- 00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:14,107 Well, good night, you guys.
- 00:21:14,232 --> 00:21:15,817 - Happy holidays. - Shut up!
- 00:21:17,235 --> 00:21:18,444 [rumbling]
- 00:21:18,569 --> 00:21:20,822 What was that? What the...
- 00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:23,449 [all] Merry Christmas, Charlie Manson!
- 00:21:23,574 --> 00:21:27,954 ♪ Hark the herald angels sing ♪
- 00:21:28,079 --> 00:21:32,333 ♪ Glory to the newborn king ♪
- 00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:36,796 ♪ Peace on earth and mercy mild ♪
- 00:21:36,921 --> 00:21:41,009 ♪ God and sinners reconciled ♪
- 00:21:41,134 --> 00:21:45,555 ♪ Joyful all ye nations rise ♪
- 00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:49,767 ♪ Join the triumph of the skies ♪
- 00:21:49,892 --> 00:21:54,314 ♪ Hark the herald angels sing ♪
- 00:21:54,439 --> 00:21:56,607 Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here.
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