Шефская помощь — Звукозаписывающая компания крадёт песню Шефа и подаёт на него же в суд. Друзья пытаются ему помочь, а мистер Гаррисон хочет разобраться в себе.

Предыдущая серия S02 E13 Коровьи дни

Следующая серия S02 E15 Страшная рыбка

Шефская помощь

Chef Aid

Сезон: 02Серия: 14

Описание

Звукозаписывающая компания крадёт песню Шефа и подаёт на него же в суд. Друзья пытаются ему помочь, а мистер Гаррисон хочет разобраться в себе.

Субтитры

00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:11,721 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:00:11,846 --> 00:00:13,723 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:15,433 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:15,558 --> 00:00:16,976 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:17,101 --> 00:00:18,436 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
00:00:18,561 --> 00:00:20,271 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:21,981 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:22,106 --> 00:00:23,482 ♪ People spouting: "Howdy neighbor!" ♪
00:00:23,607 --> 00:00:24,984 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
00:00:25,109 --> 00:00:26,736 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:31,407 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,200 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,458 ♪ Stinky britches you got stinky britches ♪
00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:42,626 ♪ Stinky stinky britches you got stinky-- ♪
00:00:42,752 --> 00:00:44,211 What the hell are you singing, Cartman?
00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:45,629 This new song by Alanis Morissette.
00:00:45,755 --> 00:00:47,256 I can't get it out of my head.
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:48,674 ♪ Stinky britches you got stinky britches ♪
00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:50,468 Hello, children, ready for lunch?
00:00:50,593 --> 00:00:51,677 - ♪ Stinky britches you got stinky stinky ♪
00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:53,554 Eric, is there a problem?
00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:55,222 Yeah, I can't get this stupid song out of my head!
00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:57,308 "Stinky Britches" by Alanis Morissette?
00:00:57,433 --> 00:00:58,893 Yeah! ♪ Stinky stinky britches ♪
00:00:59,018 --> 00:01:00,895 Children, did you say hi to Mr. Twig?
00:01:01,020 --> 00:01:02,313 "Hi boys, how are you?"
00:01:02,438 --> 00:01:04,273 When is Mr. Hat coming back?
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:07,193 I told you never to say his name in my presence.
00:01:07,318 --> 00:01:09,487 But we hate Mr. Twig. Mr. Twig sucks.
00:01:09,612 --> 00:01:11,197 Yeah.
00:01:11,322 --> 00:01:12,698 ♪ Stinky britches you got stinky-- ♪
00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:14,450 It just so happens that Mr. Twig
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:15,910 is far more stable than Mr. Hat could ever be,
00:01:16,035 --> 00:01:17,495 so he's the better puppet. Now--
00:01:17,620 --> 00:01:18,913 He'd be better used as a coat rack.
00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:23,501 How dare you! C'mon, Mr. Twig.
00:01:23,626 --> 00:01:24,668 Hello there, children!
00:01:24,794 --> 00:01:26,045 Hey, Chef.
00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:27,088 ♪ You got stinky britches ♪
00:01:27,213 --> 00:01:28,589 What did you say?
00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:30,091 He's singing some new hit song.
00:01:30,216 --> 00:01:31,717 Eric, where did you hear that song?
00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:32,718 It's all over the place, on the radio,
00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:34,303 MTV, everywhere.
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:35,596 Well, I'll be sodomized on Christmas.
00:01:35,721 --> 00:01:37,306 What, dude?
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:38,891 Children, I wrote that song 20 years ago.
00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:40,601 You wrote it? - Yeah.
00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:42,311 Back when I used to be in the rock business.
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:43,813 And now it looks like some big record company
00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:45,481 has published one of my songs.
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,024 Wow, then you should get money for it.
00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:48,984 Oh, I don't want any money.
00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:50,778 I'd just like to see my name on the credits, that's all.
00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:51,862 Then we should go to the record company.
00:01:51,987 --> 00:01:53,531 My dad's a lawyer, dude,
00:01:53,656 --> 00:01:55,032 he tells me about this stuff all the time.
00:01:55,157 --> 00:01:57,868 Well, all right, then I will go.
00:01:57,993 --> 00:01:59,912 I'll play them my version of the song.
00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:02,706 ♪ Stinky britches you got those stinky britches ♪
00:02:02,832 --> 00:02:05,251 So you see, Mr. Big Record Producer,
00:02:05,376 --> 00:02:07,795 "Stinky Britches" was something I wrote several years ago.
00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:10,756 Hmm, I really see no resemblance between that song
00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:13,634 and "Stinky Britches" by our artist, Alanis Morissette.
00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:15,678 Huh? - It's the same goddamn song!
00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:17,680 Now, look, I'm trying to be cool about this.
00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:19,640 But you can't just rip people's music off.
00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:20,683 It's against the law.
00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:24,061 I'm above the law!
00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:26,438 Mr. Chef, I'm afraid you leave me no alternative.
00:02:26,564 --> 00:02:27,731 We're going to sue you.
00:02:27,857 --> 00:02:29,150 Sue me?
00:02:29,275 --> 00:02:30,401 You stole one of my songs,
00:02:30,526 --> 00:02:32,069 and you're gonna sue me?
00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:34,697 Yes, I suggest you get a real good lawyer.
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,448 We'll have the best in the business.
00:02:36,574 --> 00:02:38,409 We'll get my dad to be Chef's lawyer!
00:02:38,534 --> 00:02:39,827 Yeah, and he's Jewish!
00:02:41,579 --> 00:02:44,165 - ♪ Stinky stinky britches ♪
00:02:44,290 --> 00:02:46,167 ♪ Stinky britches ♪
00:02:46,292 --> 00:02:48,210 Mr. Twig, is that you?
00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,256 Mr. Twig?
00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:57,261 Aah!
00:02:57,386 --> 00:02:59,388 Mr. Twig, no!
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:02,266 Who did this to you, Mr. Twig? Who?
00:03:04,393 --> 00:03:06,145 Now, just let me do all the talking, Chef.
00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:07,855 We're gonna bring these bastards down.
00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:09,899 Right. - This court is now in session.
00:03:10,024 --> 00:03:11,567 Who is representing the defense?
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,569 I am, your honor, Gerald Broflovski.
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,196 And representing the prosecution?
00:03:15,321 --> 00:03:17,448 I am, your honor. Johnnie Cochran.
00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:19,200 Uh-oh.
00:03:19,325 --> 00:03:21,202 Why "uh-oh"? - Chef, that's Johnnie Cochran.
00:03:21,327 --> 00:03:22,995 He's the guy who got O.J. Off.
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,246 Uh-oh.
00:03:25,998 --> 00:03:27,708 I need some help over here!
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:30,085 Please help, I think he's got third degree burns!
00:03:30,211 --> 00:03:31,754 Give the child to me.
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,466 Is he going to be all right, Doctor?
00:03:35,591 --> 00:03:38,344 Uh... - Is he going to live?
00:03:38,469 --> 00:03:40,638 It's a stick.
00:03:40,763 --> 00:03:42,723 Damn it, don't give me that medical jargon.
00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:45,142 Just tell me straight, is he gonna be okay?
00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:47,728 <i>And so on this 15th day of what is considered</i>
00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:50,564 <i>to be the most important trial of the...day,</i>
00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:53,442 <i>Johnnie Cochran has appeared to defend Capitalist Records.</i>
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,361 <i>The question now is,</i>
00:03:55,486 --> 00:03:57,738 <i>will Cochran use his famous Chewbacca defense?</i>
00:03:57,863 --> 00:03:59,615 What's a Chewbacca defense? - I don't know.
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,408 That's what Cochran used in the O.J. Simpson trial.
00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:03,118 Goddamn, I hate that Cochran guy!
00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:04,536 If he was here in front of me, I'd be like...
00:04:04,662 --> 00:04:05,788 hey!
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:07,498 You stupid son of a bitch!
00:04:07,623 --> 00:04:10,626 I'm gonna kick you in the nuts!
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,586 I'm sure that would scare the hell out of him, Cartman.
00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:15,547 And so, in summation, ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
00:04:15,673 --> 00:04:17,383 you've heard the version of my client's song
00:04:17,508 --> 00:04:19,343 recorded over 20 years ago.
00:04:19,468 --> 00:04:21,512 You've heard the exact same song
00:04:21,637 --> 00:04:23,806 produced by these cheats in the past month.
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:26,183 I'd say it's pretty much an open and shut case.
00:04:26,308 --> 00:04:28,394 Make the right decision. Thank you.
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,398 We've got them.
00:04:32,523 --> 00:04:34,733 Mr. Johnnie Cochran, your closing arguments?
00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:37,069 Ladies and gentlemen of the supposed jury.
00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:38,988 Chef's attorney would certainly want you to believe
00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:40,614 that his client wrote "Stinky Britches"
00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:42,741 ten years ago, and they make a good case.
00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:44,410 Hell, I almost felt pity myself.
00:04:44,535 --> 00:04:46,537 But ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury,
00:04:46,662 --> 00:04:48,998 I have one final thing I want you to consider.
00:04:49,123 --> 00:04:52,084 Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca.
00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:54,461 Chewbacca is a Wookie from the planet Kashyyk.
00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:57,464 But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor.
00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:58,549 Now think about that.
00:04:58,674 --> 00:05:01,677 That does not make sense.
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,178 Damn it. - What?
00:05:03,304 --> 00:05:04,263 He's using the Chewbacca defense.
00:05:04,388 --> 00:05:05,472 Why would a Wookie--
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,474 an eight-foot-tall Wookie--
00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:09,435 want to live on Endor with a bunch of two-foot-tall Ewoks?
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:11,353 That does not make sense.
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,564 But more importantly, you have to ask yourself,
00:05:13,689 --> 00:05:17,651 what does this have to do with this case?
00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:18,736 Nothing.
00:05:18,861 --> 00:05:20,279 Ladies and gentlemen,
00:05:20,404 --> 00:05:21,739 it has nothing to do with this case.
00:05:21,864 --> 00:05:23,324 It does not make sense.
00:05:23,449 --> 00:05:24,700 Look at me, I'm a lawyer
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,076 defending a major record company
00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:27,453 and I'm talking about Chewbacca.
00:05:27,578 --> 00:05:29,163 Does that make sense?
00:05:29,288 --> 00:05:31,206 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm not making any sense.
00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:32,416 None of this makes sense!
00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:34,084 And so you have to remember,
00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:35,878 when you're in that jury room deliberating
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:38,255 and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation...
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:41,008 does it make sense? No.
00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:42,676 Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury,
00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:44,803 it does not make sense.
00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:47,473 If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit.
00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:50,267 The defense rests.
00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:52,436 Okay, then.
00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:54,396 Wow, he's good.
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:56,023 <i>In a teary-eyed courtroom, Johnnie Cochran has just</i>
00:05:56,148 --> 00:05:58,150 <i>finished his closing arguments,</i>
00:05:58,275 --> 00:06:00,694 <i>and as was anticipated, he did use the Chewbacca defense.</i>
00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:03,697 <i>Whether or not it worked is up to the jury to decide.</i>
00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:05,407 How find you the jury?
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:08,535 We find the defendant Jerome "Chef" McElroy...
00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:09,703 guilty as charged.
00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:10,913 Whoops.
00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:12,956 Whoops? - Mr. Chef,
00:06:13,082 --> 00:06:14,750 you've been found guilty of harassing a major record label.
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,293 The full fee of $2 million
00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:18,212 will be handed over within 24 hours.
00:06:18,337 --> 00:06:20,255 Do I look like I have $2 million?
00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:21,799 Well, you have 24 hours to find it,
00:06:21,924 --> 00:06:23,467 or else you'll have to go to jail...
00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:25,719 for 8 million years.
00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:28,889 It's actually for four years.
00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:31,809 Oh, sorry, you'll go to jail for four years.
00:06:31,934 --> 00:06:33,894 This can't be happening!
00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:36,271 Oh, no, dude. Chef's gonna go to jail.
00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:44,405 And that chair, too. I want that chair.
00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:46,073 Hey, that's my favorite chair!
00:06:46,198 --> 00:06:47,908 You heard the judge. Since you lost the case,
00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:50,452 I can seize whatever I want to pay my legal fees.
00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:52,496 Yeah, take that water cooler, too.
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:53,914 Hello there, Chef.
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:56,041 Hey, children. - What's going on?
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:57,793 Children, that record company guy's taking all my belongings.
00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,378 And if I don't come up with $2 million,
00:06:59,503 --> 00:07:00,712 I'm going to jail. - Well, don't worry.
00:07:00,838 --> 00:07:02,089 We came over to cheer you up.
00:07:02,214 --> 00:07:04,466 Yeah, ready, Cartman? - Ready!
00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:06,343 ♪ I will do the German dance for you♪
00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:08,011 ♪ It's fun and gay and tra la la ♪
00:07:08,137 --> 00:07:09,638 ♪ I hope you will enjoy my dance ♪
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,432 ♪ Hilia hilia hey ♪
00:07:11,557 --> 00:07:12,975 ♪ Would you like some sauerkraut? ♪
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,476 ♪ German boys German boys ♪
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,186 ♪ Yes I'd like some sauerkraut ♪
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:17,521 Okay, okay, children, thank you very much.
00:07:17,646 --> 00:07:19,022 I feel much better. - You do?
00:07:19,148 --> 00:07:20,858 Sure, just please stop. - See?
00:07:20,983 --> 00:07:22,734 I told you guys it would work. - What's that, dude?
00:07:22,860 --> 00:07:24,319 This? This is my photo album
00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:26,488 of all my times in the rock business.
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:27,781 - Did you ever know any famous people?
00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:29,741 Did I? Janis Joplin.
00:07:29,867 --> 00:07:31,618 The Beatles. Elton John.
00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,412 Got to travel all around the world.
00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:36,039 Hanging out with bands, going to lavish parties,
00:07:36,165 --> 00:07:38,333 loving many, many women.
00:07:38,459 --> 00:07:40,085 What's that? - Nothing, anyway...
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:41,295 - Take this too. - Hey!
00:07:41,420 --> 00:07:42,796 That has no monetary value.
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:44,298 What the hell are you taking that for?
00:07:44,423 --> 00:07:46,133 I can take whatever I want.
00:07:46,258 --> 00:07:47,843 But I have 24 hours to come up with your money.
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:51,555 That's the law. - I'm above the law!
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,265 I told you not to mess with me.
00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:55,225 That does it. You know what I'm gonna do?
00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:56,727 I'm gonna raise that $2 million,
00:07:56,852 --> 00:07:59,021 but I'm not gonna use it to pay you back.
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:02,024 I'm going to use it to hire Johnnie Cochran myself
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:03,400 and sue you!
00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:04,902 You wouldn't.
00:08:05,027 --> 00:08:06,236 Watch me.
00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:08,572 Now get the fudge out of my house!
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:12,826 I brought you some more juice, Mr. Twig.
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,661 Are you feeling any better?
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:16,830 I don't know who would want to hurt you like this,
00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:20,125 but I promise, nobody will ever hurt you again, ever.
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:22,419 Mr. Twig? Are you okay?
00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:24,171 Mr. Twig?
00:08:24,296 --> 00:08:25,631 Aah!
00:08:25,756 --> 00:08:27,966 Mr. Twig is broken in half!
00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:29,676 Who did this?
00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:32,387 You won't get away with this, you bastards!
00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:34,723 Okay, thank you, Mr. Cochran.
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,391 Well, Johnnie Cochran will take my case
00:08:36,517 --> 00:08:39,186 if I can pay his legal fee-- $2 million.
00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:40,854 Hey, why don't you ask all those famous people
00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:42,314 you used to know for money? They're rich.
00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:43,524 Oh, they wouldn't remember me.
00:08:43,649 --> 00:08:45,359 All I did was cook for them.
00:08:45,484 --> 00:08:47,027 You can raise $2 million, dude--we'll help you.
00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:48,862 I appreciate that, children,
00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:51,073 but raising $2 million is not an easy thing to do.
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:55,118 My only hope is to whore myself to every woman in town.
00:08:55,244 --> 00:08:57,704 Wish me luck, children.
00:08:57,829 --> 00:09:00,082 We gotta help him, dude. - Yeah, but how?
00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:02,626 Come on, maybe those rock stars will remember Chef.
00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:04,211 Let's go pay them a visit.
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,259 Whoa, dude, this house is huge.
00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:11,760 Yeah, it's bigger than Cartman's ass.
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,345 No, it isn't, you guys.
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:15,180 Can I help you?
00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:16,974 We've come to raise money for our friend, Chef.
00:09:17,099 --> 00:09:20,185 Would you like a mint crunchy or a snacky cake?
00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:22,396 Are you Elton John? - No, I'm one of his butlers.
00:09:22,521 --> 00:09:24,147 Ugh, then what the hell are we talking to you for?
00:09:24,273 --> 00:09:25,440 Come on, guys.
00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:26,984 Hi. Are you Elton John?
00:09:27,109 --> 00:09:28,819 Sir Elton John. I was knighted, you know.
00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:30,612 We're trying to raise money for our school chef.
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:34,241 We have chocolate nuggets and smoke crunchy...
00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:35,993 I'm sorry, but I'm not a candy bar fan.
00:09:36,118 --> 00:09:37,452 What? - Could you just buy
00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:38,829 a couple anyway? Our friend Chef is--
00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:40,372 Chef? You mean Chef, Chef?
00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:42,040 Yeah, dude. - Whoa, you remember him?
00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:43,959 Of course. I haven't seen him in so long.
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,419 I remember when I first met him.
00:09:45,544 --> 00:09:47,796 It was about 25 years ago.
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,339 <i>I was just a struggling musician</i>
00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:50,966 <i>who couldn't get a break.</i>
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,051 ♪ Oh-oh you're my cheddar cheese girl ♪
00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:56,179 ♪ You're soft but firm and you go well with wine ♪
00:09:56,305 --> 00:09:58,724 ♪ Oh-oh cheddar cheese girl ♪
00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:00,892 ♪ Cheddar cheddar cheese girl ♪
00:10:02,853 --> 00:10:04,646 Hey, Elton, don't feel so down, baby.
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:05,981 Have some of my Scottish haggis.
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:06,982 It'll cheer you up.
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,609 Thanks, Chef.
00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:10,193 I don't understand what my music is missing.
00:10:10,319 --> 00:10:11,987 Look, Elton, you are a great singer,
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:15,157 but a retarded monkey could write better lyrics.
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,533 I really thought I had it this time
00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:17,618 with "Cheddar Cheese Girl."
00:10:17,743 --> 00:10:19,077 - What you need is a guy
00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:20,537 to write really good lyrics for you.
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:22,122 I know a guy named Bernie Taupin
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:23,832 who's working at Moth Burger right now.
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,792 I'll give him a call. - That's a great idea.
00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:27,961 And Elton, why don't you get yourself some new threads?
00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:30,839 You know, some slick glasses and shit.
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,341 And so I got Bernie to write my lyrics.
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:34,009 And if it wasn't for Chef,
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,927 I would never have had a career in music.
00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:37,679 So will you buy some of our candy bars to help him out?
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,848 Yes, of course. I'll buy three Crispy Yum Yums.
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,516 Three Crispy Yums Yums.
00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:43,226 Hey, Elton, if I give you these lyrics,
00:10:43,352 --> 00:10:45,270 will you write a song for my girlfriend, Wendy?
00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:48,148 Sure, kid, but I would retain exclusive worldwide rights,
00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:49,858 including but not limited to Asian territories
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:51,610 with a 20% commission on all domestic sales
00:10:51,735 --> 00:10:53,320 and sole ownership of any of all publishing.
00:10:53,445 --> 00:10:54,905 Okay...
00:10:55,030 --> 00:10:56,823 Tell Chef I say hi. - Thanks, dude.
00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,909 Dude, we'll have Chef's $2 million in no time.
00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:01,787 I thank you, Chef.
00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:03,372 No problem, Ms. Broflovski.
00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,415 Uh...now, about that hundred bucks?
00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:07,084 Of course, here you go.
00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:09,127 Leaving so soon?
00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:11,838 I got a long way to go to raise the kind of money I need.
00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:13,590 Well, best of luck to you then.
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:15,175 How was it, honey?
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:17,094 Pretty much what I expected.
00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:19,513 Hello. Are you Meatloaf?
00:11:19,638 --> 00:11:21,014 Yeah. What the hell do you want?
00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:22,808 Mr. Loaf, we are selling candy bars
00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:24,601 for our dying friend. - He's not dying, Cartman.
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,103 Shut your Goddamn mouth.
00:11:26,228 --> 00:11:28,146 We have nougat crunchies, berry bars--
00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:29,815 What's this for? - Our friend Chef.
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,858 Chef's in trouble? - Yeah, do you know him?
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:32,859 Do I?
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,988 Nobody came again.
00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:39,074 There, there, Cous-Cous, it'll be all right.
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,867 Maybe you just need to change your image.
00:11:40,992 --> 00:11:42,244 What do you mean? - Nobody wants to see a guy
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:43,745 named Cous-Cous.
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,539 You need a big, strong beefy name.
00:11:45,664 --> 00:11:47,791 Beefy, like a...
00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:49,751 Tri-Tip! - That's not bad.
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,378 Here, have some meatloaf.
00:11:51,503 --> 00:11:53,130 I owe everything to Chef.
00:11:53,255 --> 00:11:55,257 Wow, so you'll help him? - You bet.
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:56,800 Give me a box of Nilla Yums Yums
00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:58,135 and a couple of berry bars.
00:11:58,260 --> 00:11:59,845 Cool! - Yeah!
00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:01,388 All right, let's get this show on the road!
00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:02,973 Come here, baby!
00:12:03,098 --> 00:12:04,599 Uh, hold on a second, Ms. Crabtree.
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,560 How would you like to use some sex toys?
00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:08,103 Sex toys? Like what?
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,604 Like this very special device.
00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:11,356 I call it "Chef's pleasure bag."
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:12,941 How does it work? - All you do
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,484 is put this paper bag over your head,
00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:16,403 and it increases your sexual pleasure.
00:12:16,528 --> 00:12:19,114 Really? Well, hell, let's give it a shot.
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,116 Ah, yeah. That's much better.
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,034 Sure, I'll do anything for Chef.
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:24,745 Give me a box of those Choco-nomos.
00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:26,538 Gosh, thanks, Rick James. - Yeah, thanks.
00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,206 That's $35. Come on, you guys.
00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:29,958 We gotta hurry and get this money to Chef.
00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:34,546 Oh, that was wonderful, Chef. Good show.
00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:37,632 Oh, I can't keep doing this. It's killing me.
00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:39,801 Ah, come on, buck up, little fella.
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,595 I'm serious. I'm not gonna make it.
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,263 Sure you are, Chef.
00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:45,432 I'll give you a hundred more for another rump.
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:49,019 Ah, hell.
00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:50,896 - Thanks for coming, Officer Barbrady.
00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:53,523 What's this all about? - These pictures just arrived.
00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:55,233 I set up a camera
00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:57,402 and caught Mr. Twig's assailant red-handed.
00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:58,945 Now go arrest him.
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:03,617 What? - Can I go now?
00:13:03,742 --> 00:13:06,453 Yes, yes, I'm sorry.
00:13:06,578 --> 00:13:07,454 Weirdo.
00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:09,080 It can't be.
00:13:09,206 --> 00:13:10,457 This can't be right.
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:16,671 Mr. Hat!
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:23,261 Wait, what are you doing?
00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:25,138 It's over, children.
00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:26,765 I couldn't raise the $2 million to hire Johnnie Cochran.
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,892 Now I have to go to jail. - No, you don't.
00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:30,393 Huh? - We went to a bunch
00:13:30,519 --> 00:13:31,645 of rock stars and sold them candy bars
00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:33,271 to raise the money you needed.
00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:35,232 Did what? Wow, how much did you make?
00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:36,900 Cartman? - Well, you can see here
00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:39,694 that we raised approximately $95.
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,780 Falling well short of our $2 million goal,
00:13:41,905 --> 00:13:43,990 illustrated here. - Oh.
00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:45,992 - But we can put our money together
00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:47,869 with the money you made whoring yourself to all the women.
00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:50,789 How much did you make? - I made about $410,300 but--
00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:53,291 That doesn't matter because that money belongs to me.
00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:54,960 You can't take Chef's money. That's illegal.
00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:57,587 - I'm above the law!
00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:59,089 All right, you, it's time to go.
00:13:59,214 --> 00:14:00,173 Good-bye, children.
00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:01,424 Thanks for all your help.
00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:03,218 Let's go. - Ow!
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:04,845 What the hell did you do that for?
00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:06,263 I don't tell you how to do your job,
00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:08,014 don't tell me how to do mine.
00:14:08,139 --> 00:14:10,016 Ow! Ow!
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:11,601 - Dude, Chef is gone.
00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:13,103 No more Chef.
00:14:13,228 --> 00:14:16,606 No more Salisbury steak and pecan pie...
00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:19,192 We can't let him down, you guys.
00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:20,694 Dude, it's over, he's gone.
00:14:20,819 --> 00:14:22,445 No. Chef wouldn't give up on us.
00:14:22,571 --> 00:14:23,989 How many times has Chef gotten us out of trouble?
00:14:24,114 --> 00:14:25,866 Four. - But what are we gonna do?
00:14:25,991 --> 00:14:27,158 It's easy, dude.
00:14:27,284 --> 00:14:28,618 Chef Aid. - Chef Aid?
00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:30,120 - Yeah, we set up a stage
00:14:30,245 --> 00:14:31,663 and have Cartman do the German dance.
00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:33,206 Then we charge people for tickets.
00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:35,166 Hey, that's a great idea. - Yeah.
00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:40,380 Did you think I would just take you back?
00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:42,007 Like you can walk out
00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:44,175 and then come back like nothing happened?
00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:46,177 Oh, don't look at me like that, Mr. Hat.
00:14:46,303 --> 00:14:47,762 Remember, you're the one that left.
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:49,639 And I'm not gonna take you back.
00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:50,974 You can just go to hell.
00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:53,476 You go to hell and you die.
00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:56,146 You're a lying ball of turd, Mr. Hat!
00:14:56,271 --> 00:14:59,983 I hope you starve, you lousy son of a bitch!
00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:01,401 What are you all looking at?
00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:03,111 This is between me and Mr. Hat.
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,988 It's over, Mr. Garrison.
00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:07,490 This is it, we've had enough. - What do you mean?
00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:10,285 - I'm afraid it's the big house for you, fruitcake.
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,953 What? Jail?
00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:15,248 ♪ I will do the German dance for you ♪
00:15:15,373 --> 00:15:17,000 ♪ It's fun and gay and tra la la ♪
00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:18,543 ♪ Hope you will enjoy my dance ♪
00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,086 ♪ Hilia hilia hey ♪
00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:21,671 Hmm, this isn't going over so well.
00:15:21,796 --> 00:15:22,756 Cartman just needs to put more into it.
00:15:22,881 --> 00:15:24,466 Dance better, Cartman!
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:25,800 ♪ Would you like some sauerkraut? ♪
00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:26,968 ♪ German boys German boys ♪
00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:30,764 Howdy ho, boys.
00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:32,599 Elton John, what are you doing here?
00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:34,184 It occurred to me that you might need some more help
00:15:34,309 --> 00:15:35,644 raising money for Chef. - Boy, do we.
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,228 So I called a few friends,
00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:39,356 and we all decided to come over.
00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:40,774 Wow, cool! - I see you've got a stage
00:15:40,899 --> 00:15:42,192 all set up for us.
00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:43,401 Yeah, dude, it's all yours.
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:44,945 Then let's rock and roll!
00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:48,073 Or something similar. - Hooray!
00:15:48,198 --> 00:15:49,658 - And Mr. Twig is at home.
00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:51,826 He has no idea Mr. Hat is even back.
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:53,453 I mean, I care a lot about Mr. Twig,
00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:55,413 but Mr. Hat and I have so much history.
00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:57,290 - You finally snapped, huh, Garrison?
00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:59,167 What? - Don't you get it, Garrison?
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:02,295 It's all you. You're Mr. Hat and Mr. Twig.
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:05,382 You've got split personality schizophrenic jeebeez.
00:16:05,507 --> 00:16:07,884 I warn you, Chef. Don't even think of
00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:10,053 taking advantage of me in this prison cell.
00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:11,680 What? - Okay, thanks for coming
00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:13,056 to Chef Aid, everybody!
00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:15,350 Are you ready to rock and roll?
00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:18,186 Whoo!
00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:22,607 All right, let's get things going with...Rancid!
00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,150 Whoo, sweet!
00:16:24,275 --> 00:16:26,820 ♪ California sun has sunk ♪
00:16:26,945 --> 00:16:29,656 ♪ Behind Anaheim Hills I come tonight ♪
00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:32,242 ♪ I was high on junk ♪
00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:37,288 You still aren't entertaining any ideas
00:16:37,414 --> 00:16:39,416 of raping me here in this prison cell, are you, Chef?
00:16:39,541 --> 00:16:40,959 No, Garrison, shut the hell up.
00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:42,460 That's good.
00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:44,796 What the-- - Oh, boy, we're free!
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:47,340 Wow. What a daring rescue.
00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:49,300 Mr. Hat!
00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:52,095 Mr. Hat saved us, Chef!
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:53,930 Come on, let's get in the truck.
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,640 I'll drive from here, Mr. Hat.
00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:58,268 How the hell did he reach the gas pedal?
00:16:58,393 --> 00:17:01,479 ♪ Mmm ♪
00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:03,273 Rick James, ladies and gentlemen!
00:17:03,398 --> 00:17:05,108 God bless you, Chef.
00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:07,527 And now here's your favorite band, Primus, whoo!
00:17:07,652 --> 00:17:10,947 We're damn proud to be here to support our good buddy Chef.
00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:13,158 It was Chef who told us in the early days
00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:15,326 to keep trying and to keep pursuing our dreams,
00:17:15,452 --> 00:17:17,328 no matter how much we sucked.
00:17:17,454 --> 00:17:18,580 I love that man.
00:17:20,832 --> 00:17:22,208 Ooh!
00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:24,252 What are you bastards doing?
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:25,879 We're raising money so that Chef can hire Johnnie Cochran
00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:27,422 to sue you. - Yeah, now get out of here
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:28,757 before I kick you in the nuts!
00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:30,091 Oh, yeah?
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:31,593 We'll just see about this!
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,928 Now, here's Joe Strummer! Whoo-hoo!
00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:36,139 You know, when The Clash went on tour and we lost our beat,
00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:38,266 Chef would be, like, on the side of the stage, going,
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:41,352 "Don't forget, pump your loins, children!"
00:17:41,478 --> 00:17:44,481 You know, that was like, his motto or something.
00:17:44,606 --> 00:17:47,692 Whoo! - ♪ But it's a rocking world ♪
00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:49,861 ♪ Make no mistake about it ♪
00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:52,572 ♪ It's a shocking world could be what's so great about it ♪
00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:53,782 ♪ It's a rocking world ♪
00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:55,200 What the hell is this?
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,578 Welcome to Chef Aid, Chef!
00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:00,330 Wow, how'd you get out of jail, Chef?
00:18:00,455 --> 00:18:03,374 Mr. Hat busted me out. Children, did you do this?
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:04,876 Well, we helped.
00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:05,960 We're gonna raise your money, Chef.
00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:07,962 I don't believe it.
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:11,091 We'll just see how long this Chef Aid thing lasts.
00:18:12,884 --> 00:18:16,513 And now, here he is, TV's Ozzy Osbourne!
00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:18,890 We're all here to help our good friend Chef,
00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:20,892 who has touched our lives in the past.
00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:23,186 I remember when I was just starting out,
00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:25,730 Chef suggested I buy a pompadour hat.
00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:28,358 I thought he said, "Bite the head of a bat."
00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:32,153 So I did, and the rest, oh, is just history.
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,697 Now, let's go crazy!
00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:37,700 ♪ Ain't nowhere to run ♪
00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:38,785 'Cause I be running this.
00:18:40,245 --> 00:18:41,412 ♪ Ain't nowhere to hide ♪
00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:42,497 Come on!
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,040 Aah!
00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:45,875 Gah!
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,794 Oh, my God, Ozzy Osbourne bit Kenny's head off!
00:18:47,919 --> 00:18:49,170 You bastard!
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,381 And now here's Ween!
00:18:51,506 --> 00:18:53,258 We're thrilled to be a part of Chef Aid.
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:55,593 Chef was the guy who told us to do a country album.
00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:57,011 No, dude, that was Steve's idea.
00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:58,763 Oh, then who's Chef?
00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:00,265 I don't know, dude, I thought you knew him.
00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:02,308 Oh, well. Anyways, here's our song.
00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:06,062 ♪ Many colors in the homo rainbow ♪
00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:11,401 ♪ Don't be afraid to let your colors shine ♪
00:19:11,526 --> 00:19:13,069 Don't worry, Mr. Twig,
00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:14,863 even though Mr. Hat rescued me from prison,
00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:16,823 I'm still gonna stick with you.
00:19:16,948 --> 00:19:18,324 Do you love him?
00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:20,702 It doesn't matter. He left me.
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:22,287 Do you love him?
00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:23,788 Yes.
00:19:23,913 --> 00:19:25,623 Then run to him.
00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:27,959 But I feel like I'd be making the wrong decision.
00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:31,129 Love isn't a decision, it's a feeling.
00:19:31,254 --> 00:19:33,131 If we could decide who we loved,
00:19:33,256 --> 00:19:37,302 it would be much simpler, but much less magical.
00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:41,806 I'll never forget you, Mr. Twig. Thank you.
00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:44,976 And now, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Elton John!
00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:46,519 Whoo!
00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:48,938 - Thank you all for coming to help Chef.
00:19:49,063 --> 00:19:52,859 This is a song written by a very special little boy.
00:19:52,984 --> 00:19:55,403 I have no idea what his name is, but who the hell cares?
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:58,198 Anyway, he wrote it for his girlfriend.
00:19:58,323 --> 00:20:02,619 ♪ Wake up Wendy smell the coffee ♪
00:20:02,744 --> 00:20:04,245 Dude, that's your song for Wendy.
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:05,955 You're a wuss!
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:17,383 I win, you lose.
00:20:17,508 --> 00:20:18,927 Chef Aid is over,
00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:20,261 and you didn't raise near enough money
00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:21,804 to pay Cochran's legal fees.
00:20:21,930 --> 00:20:23,806 I win.
00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:27,060 <i>And what happened then?</i>
00:20:27,185 --> 00:20:29,354 <i>Well, in South Park, they say</i>
00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:33,566 <i>Johnnie Cochran's heart grew three sizes that day.</i>
00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:35,276 Wait.
00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:37,862 Mr. Chef, this music has really touched me.
00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:40,323 I'd like to take up your case free of charge.
00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:42,992 You will? - I will.
00:20:44,827 --> 00:20:46,412 No! - We'll see you in court,
00:20:46,537 --> 00:20:47,872 Mr. Record Producer.
00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:48,998 No!
00:20:53,378 --> 00:20:55,421 Ladies and gentlemen of the supposed jury,
00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:57,131 you must now decide whether or not
00:20:57,257 --> 00:20:59,384 to reverse the decision for my client, Chef.
00:20:59,509 --> 00:21:01,970 I know he seems guilty, but ladies and gentlemen,
00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:04,472 this is Chewbacca.
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:05,682 Now think about that for one minute.
00:21:05,807 --> 00:21:07,058 That does not make sense!
00:21:07,183 --> 00:21:08,476 Why am I talking about Chewbacca
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:10,019 when a man's life is on the line?
00:21:10,144 --> 00:21:11,562 Why? I tell you why.
00:21:11,688 --> 00:21:13,731 I don't know. If it doesn't make sense.
00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:16,651 If Chewbacca does not make sense, you must acquit.
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,653 Here, look at the monkey. Look at the silly monkey.
00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:21,990 There he is!
00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:24,951 Chef, how does it feel to be a free man and finally
00:21:25,076 --> 00:21:27,870 have your name credited on the song "Stinky Britches"?
00:21:27,996 --> 00:21:29,330 It feels great!
00:21:29,455 --> 00:21:31,332 I just can't find the words
00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:33,167 to thank all the artists who put on Chef Aid.
00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:36,087 Most of all, I want to thank the children.
00:21:36,212 --> 00:21:37,505 So what are you gonna do now?
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:39,549 Get back to what's important.
00:21:39,674 --> 00:21:42,885 It's Tuesday, and that means tomorrow is tuna casserole day.
00:21:43,011 --> 00:21:44,178 Hurray!
00:21:44,304 --> 00:21:45,930 <i>♪ Stinky britches ♪</i>
00:21:46,055 --> 00:21:47,181 <i>♪ You got them stinky britches ♪</i>
00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:48,933 <i>♪ Stinky britches ♪</i>
00:21:49,058 --> 00:21:50,601 <i>♪ You got them stinky britches ♪</i>
00:21:50,727 --> 00:21:52,103 <i>♪ Stinky britches ♪</i>
00:21:52,228 --> 00:21:54,063 <i>♪ You got stinky britches ♪</i>
00:21:54,188 --> 00:21:55,857 <i>Whoo! Stinky!</i>

00:00:06,966 --> 00:00:10,219 <i>[twangy music]</i>
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:11,721 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:00:11,846 --> 00:00:13,723 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:15,433 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:00:15,558 --> 00:00:16,976 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:00:17,101 --> 00:00:18,436 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
00:00:18,561 --> 00:00:20,271 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:21,981 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:00:22,106 --> 00:00:23,482 ♪ People spouting: "Howdy neighbor!" ♪
00:00:23,607 --> 00:00:24,984 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
00:00:25,109 --> 00:00:26,736 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:00:26,861 --> 00:00:29,905 [singing indistinctly]
00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:31,407 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,200 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,458 ♪ Stinky britches you got stinky britches ♪
00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:42,626 ♪ Stinky stinky britches you got stinky-- ♪
00:00:42,752 --> 00:00:44,211 What the hell are you singing, Cartman?
00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:45,629 This new song by Alanis Morissette.
00:00:45,755 --> 00:00:47,256 I can't get it out of my head.
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:48,674 ♪ Stinky britches you got stinky britches ♪
00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:50,468 Hello, children, ready for lunch?
00:00:50,593 --> 00:00:51,677 - ♪ Stinky britches you got stinky stinky ♪
00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:53,554 Eric, is there a problem?
00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:55,222 Yeah, I can't get this stupid song out of my head!
00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:57,308 "Stinky Britches" by Alanis Morissette?
00:00:57,433 --> 00:00:58,893 Yeah! ♪ Stinky stinky britches ♪
00:00:59,018 --> 00:01:00,895 Children, did you say hi to Mr. Twig?
00:01:01,020 --> 00:01:02,313 "Hi boys, how are you?"
00:01:02,438 --> 00:01:04,273 When is Mr. Hat coming back?
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:07,193 I told you never to say his name in my presence.
00:01:07,318 --> 00:01:09,487 But we hate Mr. Twig. Mr. Twig sucks.
00:01:09,612 --> 00:01:11,197 Yeah.
00:01:11,322 --> 00:01:12,698 ♪ Stinky britches you got stinky-- ♪
00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:14,450 It just so happens that Mr. Twig
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:15,910 is far more stable than Mr. Hat could ever be,
00:01:16,035 --> 00:01:17,495 so he's the better puppet. Now--
00:01:17,620 --> 00:01:18,913 He'd be better used as a coat rack.
00:01:19,038 --> 00:01:20,414 [laughter]
00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:23,501 How dare you! C'mon, Mr. Twig.
00:01:23,626 --> 00:01:24,668 Hello there, children!
00:01:24,794 --> 00:01:26,045 [all] Hey, Chef.
00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:27,088 ♪ You got stinky britches ♪
00:01:27,213 --> 00:01:28,589 What did you say?
00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:30,091 He's singing some new hit song.
00:01:30,216 --> 00:01:31,717 Eric, where did you hear that song?
00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:32,718 It's all over the place, on the radio,
00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:34,303 MTV, everywhere.
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:35,596 Well, I'll be sodomized on Christmas.
00:01:35,721 --> 00:01:37,306 What, dude?
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:38,891 Children, I wrote that song 20 years ago.
00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:40,601 You wrote it? - Yeah.
00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:42,311 Back when I used to be in the rock business.
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:43,813 And now it looks like some big record company
00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:45,481 has published one of my songs.
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,024 Wow, then you should get money for it.
00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:48,984 Oh, I don't want any money.
00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:50,778 I'd just like to see my name on the credits, that's all.
00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:51,862 Then we should go to the record company.
00:01:51,987 --> 00:01:53,531 My dad's a lawyer, dude,
00:01:53,656 --> 00:01:55,032 he tells me about this stuff all the time.
00:01:55,157 --> 00:01:57,868 Well, all right, then I will go.
00:01:57,993 --> 00:01:59,912 I'll play them my version of the song.
00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:02,706 ♪ Stinky britches you got those stinky britches ♪
00:02:02,832 --> 00:02:05,251 So you see, Mr. Big Record Producer,
00:02:05,376 --> 00:02:07,795 "Stinky Britches" was something I wrote several years ago.
00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:10,756 Hmm, I really see no resemblance between that song
00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:13,634 and "Stinky Britches" by our artist, Alanis Morissette.
00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:15,678 Huh? - It's the same goddamn song!
00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:17,680 Now, look, I'm trying to be cool about this.
00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:19,640 But you can't just rip people's music off.
00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:20,683 It's against the law.
00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:24,061 I'm above the law!
00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:26,438 Mr. Chef, I'm afraid you leave me no alternative.
00:02:26,564 --> 00:02:27,731 We're going to sue you.
00:02:27,857 --> 00:02:29,150 Sue me?
00:02:29,275 --> 00:02:30,401 You stole one of my songs,
00:02:30,526 --> 00:02:32,069 and you're gonna sue me?
00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:34,697 Yes, I suggest you get a real good lawyer.
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,448 We'll have the best in the business.
00:02:36,574 --> 00:02:38,409 We'll get my dad to be Chef's lawyer!
00:02:38,534 --> 00:02:39,827 Yeah, and he's Jewish!
00:02:39,952 --> 00:02:41,453 [pop song playing on TV]
00:02:41,579 --> 00:02:44,165 - ♪ Stinky stinky britches ♪
00:02:44,290 --> 00:02:46,167 ♪ Stinky britches ♪
00:02:46,292 --> 00:02:48,210 Mr. Twig, is that you?
00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:50,212 [TV silences]
00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,256 Mr. Twig?
00:02:52,381 --> 00:02:53,757 [water boiling]
00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:57,261 Aah!
00:02:57,386 --> 00:02:59,388 Mr. Twig, no!
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:02,266 Who did this to you, Mr. Twig? Who?
00:03:04,393 --> 00:03:06,145 Now, just let me do all the talking, Chef.
00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:07,855 We're gonna bring these bastards down.
00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:09,899 Right. - This court is now in session.
00:03:10,024 --> 00:03:11,567 Who is representing the defense?
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,569 I am, your honor, Gerald Broflovski.
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,196 And representing the prosecution?
00:03:15,321 --> 00:03:17,448 I am, your honor. Johnnie Cochran.
00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:19,200 [all gasping] - Uh-oh.
00:03:19,325 --> 00:03:21,202 Why "uh-oh"? - Chef, that's Johnnie Cochran.
00:03:21,327 --> 00:03:22,995 He's the guy who got O.J. Off.
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,246 Uh-oh.
00:03:25,998 --> 00:03:27,708 I need some help over here!
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:30,085 Please help, I think he's got third degree burns!
00:03:30,211 --> 00:03:31,754 Give the child to me.
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:33,756 <i>[dramatic music]</i>
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,466 Is he going to be all right, Doctor?
00:03:35,591 --> 00:03:38,344 Uh... - Is he going to live?
00:03:38,469 --> 00:03:40,638 It's a stick.
00:03:40,763 --> 00:03:42,723 Damn it, don't give me that medical jargon.
00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:45,142 Just tell me straight, is he gonna be okay?
00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:47,728 <i>And so on this 15th day of what is considered</i>
00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:50,564 <i>to be the most important trial of the...day,</i>
00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:53,442 <i>Johnnie Cochran has appeared to defend Capitalist Records.</i>
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,361 <i>The question now is,</i>
00:03:55,486 --> 00:03:57,738 <i>will Cochran use his famous Chewbacca defense?</i>
00:03:57,863 --> 00:03:59,615 What's a Chewbacca defense? - I don't know.
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,408 That's what Cochran used in the O.J. Simpson trial.
00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:03,118 Goddamn, I hate that Cochran guy!
00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:04,536 If he was here in front of me, I'd be like...
00:04:04,662 --> 00:04:05,788 hey!
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:07,498 You stupid son of a bitch!
00:04:07,623 --> 00:04:10,626 [stammering] I'm gonna kick you in the nuts!
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,586 I'm sure that would scare the hell out of him, Cartman.
00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:15,547 And so, in summation, ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
00:04:15,673 --> 00:04:17,383 you've heard the version of my client's song
00:04:17,508 --> 00:04:19,343 recorded over 20 years ago.
00:04:19,468 --> 00:04:21,512 You've heard the exact same song
00:04:21,637 --> 00:04:23,806 produced by these cheats in the past month.
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:26,183 I'd say it's pretty much an open and shut case.
00:04:26,308 --> 00:04:28,394 Make the right decision. Thank you.
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,398 We've got them. [gavel bangs]
00:04:32,523 --> 00:04:34,733 Mr. Johnnie Cochran, your closing arguments?
00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:37,069 Ladies and gentlemen of the supposed jury.
00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:38,988 Chef's attorney would certainly want you to believe
00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:40,614 that his client wrote "Stinky Britches"
00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:42,741 ten years ago, and they make a good case.
00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:44,410 Hell, I almost felt pity myself.
00:04:44,535 --> 00:04:46,537 But ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury,
00:04:46,662 --> 00:04:48,998 I have one final thing I want you to consider.
00:04:49,123 --> 00:04:52,084 Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca.
00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:54,461 Chewbacca is a Wookie from the planet Kashyyk.
00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:57,464 But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor.
00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:58,549 Now think about that.
00:04:58,674 --> 00:05:01,677 That does not make sense.
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,178 Damn it. - What?
00:05:03,304 --> 00:05:04,263 He's using the Chewbacca defense.
00:05:04,388 --> 00:05:05,472 Why would a Wookie--
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,474 an eight-foot-tall Wookie--
00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:09,435 want to live on Endor with a bunch of two-foot-tall Ewoks?
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:11,353 That does not make sense.
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,564 But more importantly, you have to ask yourself,
00:05:13,689 --> 00:05:17,651 what does this have to do with this case?
00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:18,736 Nothing.
00:05:18,861 --> 00:05:20,279 Ladies and gentlemen,
00:05:20,404 --> 00:05:21,739 it has nothing to do with this case.
00:05:21,864 --> 00:05:23,324 It does not make sense.
00:05:23,449 --> 00:05:24,700 Look at me, I'm a lawyer
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,076 defending a major record company
00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:27,453 and I'm talking about Chewbacca.
00:05:27,578 --> 00:05:29,163 Does that make sense?
00:05:29,288 --> 00:05:31,206 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm not making any sense.
00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:32,416 None of this makes sense!
00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:34,084 And so you have to remember,
00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:35,878 when you're in that jury room deliberating
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:38,255 and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation...
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:41,008 does it make sense? No.
00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:42,676 Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury,
00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:44,803 it does not make sense.
00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:47,473 If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit.
00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:50,267 The defense rests.
00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:52,436 Okay, then.
00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:54,396 Wow, he's good.
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:56,023 <i>In a teary-eyed courtroom, Johnnie Cochran has just</i>
00:05:56,148 --> 00:05:58,150 <i>finished his closing arguments,</i>
00:05:58,275 --> 00:06:00,694 <i>and as was anticipated, he did use the Chewbacca defense.</i>
00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:03,697 <i>Whether or not it worked is up to the jury to decide.</i>
00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:05,407 How find you the jury?
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:08,535 We find the defendant Jerome "Chef" McElroy...
00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:09,703 guilty as charged.
00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:10,913 [all gasp] Whoops.
00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:12,956 Whoops? - Mr. Chef,
00:06:13,082 --> 00:06:14,750 you've been found guilty of harassing a major record label.
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,293 The full fee of $2 million
00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:18,212 will be handed over within 24 hours.
00:06:18,337 --> 00:06:20,255 Do I look like I have $2 million?
00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:21,799 Well, you have 24 hours to find it,
00:06:21,924 --> 00:06:23,467 or else you'll have to go to jail...
00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:25,719 for 8 million years.
00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:27,137 ♪♪
00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:28,889 It's actually for four years.
00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:31,809 Oh, sorry, you'll go to jail for four years.
00:06:31,934 --> 00:06:33,894 This can't be happening!
00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:36,271 Oh, no, dude. Chef's gonna go to jail.
00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:44,405 And that chair, too. I want that chair.
00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:46,073 Hey, that's my favorite chair!
00:06:46,198 --> 00:06:47,908 You heard the judge. Since you lost the case,
00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:50,452 I can seize whatever I want to pay my legal fees.
00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:52,496 Yeah, take that water cooler, too.
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:53,914 Hello there, Chef.
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:56,041 Hey, children. - What's going on?
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:57,793 Children, that record company guy's taking all my belongings.
00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,378 And if I don't come up with $2 million,
00:06:59,503 --> 00:07:00,712 I'm going to jail. - Well, don't worry.
00:07:00,838 --> 00:07:02,089 We came over to cheer you up.
00:07:02,214 --> 00:07:04,466 Yeah, ready, Cartman? - Ready!
00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:06,343 ♪ I will do the German dance for you♪
00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:08,011 ♪ It's fun and gay and tra la la ♪
00:07:08,137 --> 00:07:09,638 ♪ I hope you will enjoy my dance ♪
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,432 ♪ Hilia hilia hey ♪
00:07:11,557 --> 00:07:12,975 ♪ Would you like some sauerkraut? ♪
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,476 ♪ German boys German boys ♪
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,186 ♪ Yes I'd like some sauerkraut ♪
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:17,521 Okay, okay, children, thank you very much.
00:07:17,646 --> 00:07:19,022 I feel much better. - You do?
00:07:19,148 --> 00:07:20,858 Sure, just please stop. - See?
00:07:20,983 --> 00:07:22,734 I told you guys it would work. - What's that, dude?
00:07:22,860 --> 00:07:24,319 This? This is my photo album
00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:26,488 of all my times in the rock business.
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:27,781 - Did you ever know any famous people?
00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:29,741 Did I? Janis Joplin.
00:07:29,867 --> 00:07:31,618 The Beatles. Elton John.
00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,412 Got to travel all around the world.
00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:36,039 Hanging out with bands, going to lavish parties,
00:07:36,165 --> 00:07:38,333 loving many, many women.
00:07:38,459 --> 00:07:40,085 What's that? - Nothing, anyway...
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:41,295 - Take this too. - Hey!
00:07:41,420 --> 00:07:42,796 That has no monetary value.
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:44,298 What the hell are you taking that for?
00:07:44,423 --> 00:07:46,133 I can take whatever I want.
00:07:46,258 --> 00:07:47,843 But I have 24 hours to come up with your money.
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:51,555 That's the law. - I'm above the law!
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,265 I told you not to mess with me.
00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:55,225 That does it. You know what I'm gonna do?
00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:56,727 I'm gonna raise that $2 million,
00:07:56,852 --> 00:07:59,021 but I'm not gonna use it to pay you back.
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:02,024 I'm going to use it to hire Johnnie Cochran myself
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:03,400 and sue you!
00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:04,902 [gasps] You wouldn't.
00:08:05,027 --> 00:08:06,236 Watch me.
00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:08,572 Now get the fudge out of my house!
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:12,826 I brought you some more juice, Mr. Twig.
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,661 Are you feeling any better?
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:16,830 I don't know who would want to hurt you like this,
00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:20,125 but I promise, nobody will ever hurt you again, ever.
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:22,419 Mr. Twig? Are you okay?
00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:24,171 Mr. Twig?
00:08:24,296 --> 00:08:25,631 Aah!
00:08:25,756 --> 00:08:27,966 Mr. Twig is broken in half!
00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:29,676 Who did this?
00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:32,387 You won't get away with this, you bastards!
00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:34,723 Okay, thank you, Mr. Cochran.
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,391 Well, Johnnie Cochran will take my case
00:08:36,517 --> 00:08:39,186 if I can pay his legal fee-- $2 million.
00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:40,854 Hey, why don't you ask all those famous people
00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:42,314 you used to know for money? They're rich.
00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:43,524 Oh, they wouldn't remember me.
00:08:43,649 --> 00:08:45,359 All I did was cook for them.
00:08:45,484 --> 00:08:47,027 You can raise $2 million, dude--we'll help you.
00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:48,862 I appreciate that, children,
00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:51,073 but raising $2 million is not an easy thing to do.
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:55,118 My only hope is to whore myself to every woman in town.
00:08:55,244 --> 00:08:57,704 Wish me luck, children.
00:08:57,829 --> 00:09:00,082 We gotta help him, dude. - Yeah, but how?
00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:02,626 Come on, maybe those rock stars will remember Chef.
00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:04,211 Let's go pay them a visit.
00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:07,214 <i>[majestic music]</i>
00:09:07,339 --> 00:09:08,715 ♪♪
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,259 Whoa, dude, this house is huge.
00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:11,760 Yeah, it's bigger than Cartman's ass.
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,345 [doorbell rings] No, it isn't, you guys.
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:15,180 Can I help you?
00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:16,974 We've come to raise money for our friend, Chef.
00:09:17,099 --> 00:09:20,185 Would you like a mint crunchy or a snacky cake?
00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:22,396 Are you Elton John? - No, I'm one of his butlers.
00:09:22,521 --> 00:09:24,147 Ugh, then what the hell are we talking to you for?
00:09:24,273 --> 00:09:25,440 Come on, guys.
00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:26,984 Hi. Are you Elton John?
00:09:27,109 --> 00:09:28,819 Sir Elton John. I was knighted, you know.
00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:30,612 We're trying to raise money for our school chef.
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:34,241 We have chocolate nuggets and smoke crunchy...
00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:35,993 I'm sorry, but I'm not a candy bar fan.
00:09:36,118 --> 00:09:37,452 What? - Could you just buy
00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:38,829 a couple anyway? Our friend Chef is--
00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:40,372 Chef? You mean Chef, Chef?
00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:42,040 Yeah, dude. - Whoa, you remember him?
00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:43,959 Of course. I haven't seen him in so long.
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,419 I remember when I first met him.
00:09:45,544 --> 00:09:47,796 It was about 25 years ago.
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,339 <i>I was just a struggling musician</i>
00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:50,966 <i>who couldn't get a break.</i>
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,051 ♪ Oh-oh you're my cheddar cheese girl ♪
00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:56,179 ♪ You're soft but firm and you go well with wine ♪
00:09:56,305 --> 00:09:58,724 ♪ Oh-oh cheddar cheese girl ♪
00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:00,892 ♪ Cheddar cheddar cheese girl ♪
00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:02,728 [crowd booing]
00:10:02,853 --> 00:10:04,646 Hey, Elton, don't feel so down, baby.
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:05,981 Have some of my Scottish haggis.
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:06,982 It'll cheer you up.
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,609 Thanks, Chef.
00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:10,193 I don't understand what my music is missing.
00:10:10,319 --> 00:10:11,987 Look, Elton, you are a great singer,
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:15,157 but a retarded monkey could write better lyrics.
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,533 I really thought I had it this time
00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:17,618 with "Cheddar Cheese Girl."
00:10:17,743 --> 00:10:19,077 - What you need is a guy
00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:20,537 to write really good lyrics for you.
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:22,122 I know a guy named Bernie Taupin
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:23,832 who's working at Moth Burger right now.
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,792 I'll give him a call. - That's a great idea.
00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:27,961 And Elton, why don't you get yourself some new threads?
00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:30,839 You know, some slick glasses and shit.
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,341 And so I got Bernie to write my lyrics.
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:34,009 And if it wasn't for Chef,
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,927 I would never have had a career in music.
00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:37,679 So will you buy some of our candy bars to help him out?
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,848 Yes, of course. I'll buy three Crispy Yum Yums.
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,516 Three Crispy Yums Yums.
00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:43,226 Hey, Elton, if I give you these lyrics,
00:10:43,352 --> 00:10:45,270 will you write a song for my girlfriend, Wendy?
00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:48,148 Sure, kid, but I would retain exclusive worldwide rights,
00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:49,858 including but not limited to Asian territories
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:51,610 with a 20% commission on all domestic sales
00:10:51,735 --> 00:10:53,320 and sole ownership of any of all publishing.
00:10:53,445 --> 00:10:54,905 Okay...
00:10:55,030 --> 00:10:56,823 Tell Chef I say hi. - Thanks, dude.
00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,909 Dude, we'll have Chef's $2 million in no time.
00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:01,787 I thank you, Chef.
00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:03,372 No problem, Ms. Broflovski.
00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,415 Uh...now, about that hundred bucks?
00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:07,084 Of course, here you go.
00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:09,127 Leaving so soon?
00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:11,838 I got a long way to go to raise the kind of money I need.
00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:13,590 Well, best of luck to you then.
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:15,175 How was it, honey?
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:17,094 Pretty much what I expected.
00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:19,513 Hello. Are you Meatloaf?
00:11:19,638 --> 00:11:21,014 Yeah. What the hell do you want?
00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:22,808 Mr. Loaf, we are selling candy bars
00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:24,601 for our dying friend. - He's not dying, Cartman.
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,103 Shut your Goddamn mouth.
00:11:26,228 --> 00:11:28,146 We have nougat crunchies, berry bars--
00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:29,815 What's this for? - Our friend Chef.
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,858 Chef's in trouble? - Yeah, do you know him?
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:32,859 Do I?
00:11:32,984 --> 00:11:35,237 <i>[dreamy music]</i>
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,988 Nobody came again.
00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:39,074 There, there, Cous-Cous, it'll be all right.
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,867 Maybe you just need to change your image.
00:11:40,992 --> 00:11:42,244 What do you mean? - Nobody wants to see a guy
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:43,745 named Cous-Cous.
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,539 You need a big, strong beefy name.
00:11:45,664 --> 00:11:47,791 Beefy, like a...
00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:49,751 Tri-Tip! - That's not bad.
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,378 Here, have some meatloaf.
00:11:51,503 --> 00:11:53,130 I owe everything to Chef.
00:11:53,255 --> 00:11:55,257 Wow, so you'll help him? - You bet.
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:56,800 Give me a box of Nilla Yums Yums
00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:58,135 and a couple of berry bars.
00:11:58,260 --> 00:11:59,845 Cool! - Yeah!
00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:01,388 All right, let's get this show on the road!
00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:02,973 Come here, baby!
00:12:03,098 --> 00:12:04,599 Uh, hold on a second, Ms. Crabtree.
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,560 How would you like to use some sex toys?
00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:08,103 Sex toys? Like what?
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,604 Like this very special device.
00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:11,356 I call it "Chef's pleasure bag."
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:12,941 How does it work? - All you do
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,484 is put this paper bag over your head,
00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:16,403 and it increases your sexual pleasure.
00:12:16,528 --> 00:12:19,114 Really? Well, hell, let's give it a shot.
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,116 Ah, yeah. That's much better.
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,034 Sure, I'll do anything for Chef.
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:24,745 Give me a box of those Choco-nomos.
00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:26,538 Gosh, thanks, Rick James. - Yeah, thanks.
00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,206 That's $35. Come on, you guys.
00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:29,958 We gotta hurry and get this money to Chef.
00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:34,546 Oh, that was wonderful, Chef. Good show.
00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:37,632 Oh, I can't keep doing this. It's killing me.
00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:39,801 Ah, come on, buck up, little fella.
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,595 I'm serious. I'm not gonna make it.
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,263 Sure you are, Chef.
00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:45,432 I'll give you a hundred more for another rump.
00:12:45,557 --> 00:12:47,225 [sighs]
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:49,019 Ah, hell.
00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:50,896 - Thanks for coming, Officer Barbrady.
00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:53,523 What's this all about? - These pictures just arrived.
00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:55,233 I set up a camera
00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:57,402 and caught Mr. Twig's assailant red-handed.
00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:58,945 Now go arrest him.
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:03,617 What? - Can I go now?
00:13:03,742 --> 00:13:06,453 Yes, yes, I'm sorry.
00:13:06,578 --> 00:13:07,454 Weirdo.
00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:09,080 It can't be.
00:13:09,206 --> 00:13:10,457 This can't be right.
00:13:10,582 --> 00:13:13,168 <i>[tense music]</i>
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,170 [gasps]
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:16,671 Mr. Hat!
00:13:21,092 --> 00:13:22,177 [indistinct police radio chatter]
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:23,261 Wait, what are you doing?
00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:25,138 It's over, children.
00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:26,765 I couldn't raise the $2 million to hire Johnnie Cochran.
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,892 Now I have to go to jail. - No, you don't.
00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:30,393 Huh? - We went to a bunch
00:13:30,519 --> 00:13:31,645 of rock stars and sold them candy bars
00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:33,271 to raise the money you needed.
00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:35,232 Did what? Wow, how much did you make?
00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:36,900 Cartman? - Well, you can see here
00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:39,694 that we raised approximately $95.
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,780 Falling well short of our $2 million goal,
00:13:41,905 --> 00:13:43,990 illustrated here. - Oh.
00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:45,992 - But we can put our money together
00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:47,869 with the money you made whoring yourself to all the women.
00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:50,789 How much did you make? - I made about $410,300 but--
00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:53,291 That doesn't matter because that money belongs to me.
00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:54,960 You can't take Chef's money. That's illegal.
00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:57,587 - I'm above the law!
00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:59,089 All right, you, it's time to go.
00:13:59,214 --> 00:14:00,173 Good-bye, children.
00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:01,424 Thanks for all your help.
00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:03,218 Let's go. - Ow!
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:04,845 What the hell did you do that for?
00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:06,263 I don't tell you how to do your job,
00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:08,014 don't tell me how to do mine.
00:14:08,139 --> 00:14:10,016 Ow! Ow!
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:11,601 - Dude, Chef is gone.
00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:13,103 No more Chef.
00:14:13,228 --> 00:14:16,606 No more Salisbury steak and pecan pie...
00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:17,941 [crying]
00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:19,192 We can't let him down, you guys.
00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:20,694 Dude, it's over, he's gone.
00:14:20,819 --> 00:14:22,445 No. Chef wouldn't give up on us.
00:14:22,571 --> 00:14:23,989 How many times has Chef gotten us out of trouble?
00:14:24,114 --> 00:14:25,866 Four. - But what are we gonna do?
00:14:25,991 --> 00:14:27,158 It's easy, dude.
00:14:27,284 --> 00:14:28,618 Chef Aid. - Chef Aid?
00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:30,120 - Yeah, we set up a stage
00:14:30,245 --> 00:14:31,663 and have Cartman do the German dance.
00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:33,206 Then we charge people for tickets.
00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:35,166 Hey, that's a great idea. - Yeah.
00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:40,380 Did you think I would just take you back?
00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:42,007 Like you can walk out
00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:44,175 and then come back like nothing happened?
00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:46,177 Oh, don't look at me like that, Mr. Hat.
00:14:46,303 --> 00:14:47,762 Remember, you're the one that left.
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:49,639 And I'm not gonna take you back.
00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:50,974 You can just go to hell.
00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:53,476 You go to hell and you die.
00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:56,146 You're a lying ball of turd, Mr. Hat!
00:14:56,271 --> 00:14:59,983 I hope you starve, you lousy son of a bitch!
00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:01,401 What are you all looking at?
00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:03,111 This is between me and Mr. Hat.
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,988 It's over, Mr. Garrison.
00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:07,490 This is it, we've had enough. - What do you mean?
00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:10,285 - I'm afraid it's the big house for you, fruitcake.
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,953 What? Jail?
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:13,622 <i>[rock music]</i>
00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:15,248 ♪ I will do the German dance for you ♪
00:15:15,373 --> 00:15:17,000 ♪ It's fun and gay and tra la la ♪
00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:18,543 ♪ Hope you will enjoy my dance ♪
00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,086 ♪ Hilia hilia hey ♪
00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:21,671 Hmm, this isn't going over so well.
00:15:21,796 --> 00:15:22,756 Cartman just needs to put more into it.
00:15:22,881 --> 00:15:24,466 Dance better, Cartman!
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:25,800 ♪ Would you like some sauerkraut? ♪
00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:26,968 ♪ German boys German boys ♪
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:29,262 [singing fast, incoherent]
00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:30,764 Howdy ho, boys.
00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:32,599 Elton John, what are you doing here?
00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:34,184 It occurred to me that you might need some more help
00:15:34,309 --> 00:15:35,644 raising money for Chef. - Boy, do we.
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,228 So I called a few friends,
00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:39,356 and we all decided to come over.
00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:40,774 Wow, cool! - I see you've got a stage
00:15:40,899 --> 00:15:42,192 all set up for us.
00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:43,401 Yeah, dude, it's all yours.
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:44,945 Then let's rock and roll!
00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:48,073 Or something similar. - [both] Hooray!
00:15:48,198 --> 00:15:49,658 - And Mr. Twig is at home.
00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:51,826 He has no idea Mr. Hat is even back.
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:53,453 I mean, I care a lot about Mr. Twig,
00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:55,413 but Mr. Hat and I have so much history.
00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:57,290 - You finally snapped, huh, Garrison?
00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:59,167 What? - Don't you get it, Garrison?
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:02,295 It's all you. You're Mr. Hat and Mr. Twig.
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:05,382 You've got split personality schizophrenic jeebeez.
00:16:05,507 --> 00:16:07,884 I warn you, Chef. Don't even think of
00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:10,053 taking advantage of me in this prison cell.
00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:11,680 What? - Okay, thanks for coming
00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:13,056 to Chef Aid, everybody!
00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:15,350 Are you ready to rock and roll?
00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:18,186 Whoo!
00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:22,607 All right, let's get things going with...Rancid!
00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,150 Whoo, sweet!
00:16:24,275 --> 00:16:26,820 ♪ California sun has sunk ♪
00:16:26,945 --> 00:16:29,656 ♪ Behind Anaheim Hills I come tonight ♪
00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:32,242 ♪ I was high on junk ♪
00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:37,288 You still aren't entertaining any ideas
00:16:37,414 --> 00:16:39,416 of raping me here in this prison cell, are you, Chef?
00:16:39,541 --> 00:16:40,959 No, Garrison, shut the hell up.
00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:42,460 [tires screeching] That's good.
00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:44,796 What the-- - Oh, boy, we're free!
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:47,340 Wow. What a daring rescue.
00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:49,300 Mr. Hat!
00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:52,095 Mr. Hat saved us, Chef!
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:53,930 Come on, let's get in the truck.
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,640 [engine turns over] I'll drive from here, Mr. Hat.
00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:58,268 How the hell did he reach the gas pedal?
00:16:58,393 --> 00:17:01,479 ♪ Mmm ♪
00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:03,273 Rick James, ladies and gentlemen!
00:17:03,398 --> 00:17:05,108 God bless you, Chef.
00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:07,527 And now here's your favorite band, Primus, whoo!
00:17:07,652 --> 00:17:10,947 We're damn proud to be here to support our good buddy Chef.
00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:13,158 It was Chef who told us in the early days
00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:15,326 to keep trying and to keep pursuing our dreams,
00:17:15,452 --> 00:17:17,328 no matter how much we sucked.
00:17:17,454 --> 00:17:18,580 I love that man.
00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,707 [playing rock music]
00:17:20,832 --> 00:17:22,208 Ooh!
00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:24,252 What are you bastards doing?
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:25,879 We're raising money so that Chef can hire Johnnie Cochran
00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:27,422 to sue you. - Yeah, now get out of here
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:28,757 before I kick you in the nuts!
00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:30,091 Oh, yeah?
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:31,593 We'll just see about this!
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,928 Now, here's Joe Strummer! Whoo-hoo!
00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:36,139 You know, when The Clash went on tour and we lost our beat,
00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:38,266 Chef would be, like, on the side of the stage, going,
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:41,352 "Don't forget, pump your loins, children!"
00:17:41,478 --> 00:17:44,481 You know, that was like, his motto or something.
00:17:44,606 --> 00:17:47,692 Whoo! - ♪ But it's a rocking world ♪
00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:49,861 ♪ Make no mistake about it ♪
00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:52,572 ♪ It's a shocking world could be what's so great about it ♪
00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:53,782 ♪ It's a rocking world ♪
00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:55,200 What the hell is this?
00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:56,618 [music stops]
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,578 [all] Welcome to Chef Aid, Chef!
00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:00,330 Wow, how'd you get out of jail, Chef?
00:18:00,455 --> 00:18:03,374 Mr. Hat busted me out. Children, did you do this?
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:04,876 Well, we helped.
00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:05,960 We're gonna raise your money, Chef.
00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:07,962 I don't believe it.
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:11,091 We'll just see how long this Chef Aid thing lasts.
00:18:11,216 --> 00:18:12,759 [laughs evilly]
00:18:12,884 --> 00:18:16,513 And now, here he is, TV's Ozzy Osbourne!
00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:18,890 We're all here to help our good friend Chef,
00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:20,892 who has touched our lives in the past.
00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:23,186 I remember when I was just starting out,
00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:25,730 Chef suggested I buy a pompadour hat.
00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:28,358 I thought he said, "Bite the head of a bat."
00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:32,153 So I did, and the rest, oh, is just history.
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,697 Now, let's go crazy!
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,282 [playing rock music]
00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:37,700 ♪ Ain't nowhere to run ♪
00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:38,785 'Cause I be running this.
00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:40,120 ♪♪
00:18:40,245 --> 00:18:41,412 ♪ Ain't nowhere to hide ♪
00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:42,497 Come on!
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,040 Aah!
00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:45,875 Gah!
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,794 Oh, my God, Ozzy Osbourne bit Kenny's head off!
00:18:47,919 --> 00:18:49,170 You bastard!
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,381 And now here's Ween!
00:18:51,506 --> 00:18:53,258 We're thrilled to be a part of Chef Aid.
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:55,593 Chef was the guy who told us to do a country album.
00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:57,011 No, dude, that was Steve's idea.
00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:58,763 Oh, then who's Chef?
00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:00,265 I don't know, dude, I thought you knew him.
00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:02,308 Oh, well. Anyways, here's our song.
00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:04,060 [playing rock music]
00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:06,062 [both] ♪ Many colors in the homo rainbow ♪
00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:11,401 ♪ Don't be afraid to let your colors shine ♪
00:19:11,526 --> 00:19:13,069 Don't worry, Mr. Twig,
00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:14,863 even though Mr. Hat rescued me from prison,
00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:16,823 I'm still gonna stick with you.
00:19:16,948 --> 00:19:18,324 Do you love him?
00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:20,702 It doesn't matter. He left me.
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:22,287 Do you love him?
00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:23,788 Yes.
00:19:23,913 --> 00:19:25,623 Then run to him.
00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:27,959 But I feel like I'd be making the wrong decision.
00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:31,129 Love isn't a decision, it's a feeling.
00:19:31,254 --> 00:19:33,131 If we could decide who we loved,
00:19:33,256 --> 00:19:37,302 it would be much simpler, but much less magical.
00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:41,806 I'll never forget you, Mr. Twig. Thank you.
00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:44,976 And now, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Elton John!
00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:46,519 Whoo!
00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:48,938 - Thank you all for coming to help Chef.
00:19:49,063 --> 00:19:52,859 This is a song written by a very special little boy.
00:19:52,984 --> 00:19:55,403 I have no idea what his name is, but who the hell cares?
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:58,198 Anyway, he wrote it for his girlfriend.
00:19:58,323 --> 00:20:02,619 ♪ Wake up Wendy smell the coffee ♪
00:20:02,744 --> 00:20:04,245 Dude, that's your song for Wendy.
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:05,955 - [laughs] You're a wuss!
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:09,459 ♪♪
00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:10,460 [stage rumbles]
00:20:10,585 --> 00:20:11,586 [music stops]
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:17,383 [laughs evilly] I win, you lose.
00:20:17,508 --> 00:20:18,927 Chef Aid is over,
00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:20,261 and you didn't raise near enough money
00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:21,804 to pay Cochran's legal fees.
00:20:21,930 --> 00:20:23,806 [laughs evilly] I win.
00:20:23,932 --> 00:20:25,266 <i>[solemn music]</i>
00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:27,060 <i>And what happened then?</i>
00:20:27,185 --> 00:20:29,354 <i>Well, in South Park, they say</i>
00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:33,566 <i>Johnnie Cochran's heart grew three sizes that day.</i>
00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:35,276 Wait.
00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:37,862 Mr. Chef, this music has really touched me.
00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:40,323 I'd like to take up your case free of charge.
00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:42,992 You will? - I will.
00:20:43,117 --> 00:20:44,702 [all cheering]
00:20:44,827 --> 00:20:46,412 No! - We'll see you in court,
00:20:46,537 --> 00:20:47,872 Mr. Record Producer.
00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:48,998 No!
00:20:53,378 --> 00:20:55,421 Ladies and gentlemen of the supposed jury,
00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:57,131 you must now decide whether or not
00:20:57,257 --> 00:20:59,384 to reverse the decision for my client, Chef.
00:20:59,509 --> 00:21:01,970 I know he seems guilty, but ladies and gentlemen,
00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:04,472 this is Chewbacca.
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:05,682 Now think about that for one minute.
00:21:05,807 --> 00:21:07,058 That does not make sense!
00:21:07,183 --> 00:21:08,476 Why am I talking about Chewbacca
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:10,019 when a man's life is on the line?
00:21:10,144 --> 00:21:11,562 Why? I tell you why.
00:21:11,688 --> 00:21:13,731 I don't know. If it doesn't make sense.
00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:16,651 If Chewbacca does not make sense, you must acquit.
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,653 Here, look at the monkey. Look at the silly monkey.
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:20,196 [groans]
00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:21,990 There he is! [reports clamoring]
00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:24,951 Chef, how does it feel to be a free man and finally
00:21:25,076 --> 00:21:27,870 have your name credited on the song "Stinky Britches"?
00:21:27,996 --> 00:21:29,330 It feels great!
00:21:29,455 --> 00:21:31,332 I just can't find the words
00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:33,167 to thank all the artists who put on Chef Aid.
00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:36,087 Most of all, I want to thank the children.
00:21:36,212 --> 00:21:37,505 So what are you gonna do now?
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:39,549 Get back to what's important.
00:21:39,674 --> 00:21:42,885 It's Tuesday, and that means tomorrow is tuna casserole day.
00:21:43,011 --> 00:21:44,178 [all] Hurray!
00:21:44,304 --> 00:21:45,930 <i>♪ Stinky britches ♪</i>
00:21:46,055 --> 00:21:47,181 <i>♪ You got them stinky britches ♪</i>
00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:48,933 <i>♪ Stinky britches ♪</i>
00:21:49,058 --> 00:21:50,601 <i>♪ You got them stinky britches ♪</i>
00:21:50,727 --> 00:21:52,103 <i>♪ Stinky britches ♪</i>
00:21:52,228 --> 00:21:54,063 <i>♪ You got stinky britches ♪</i>
00:21:54,188 --> 00:21:55,857 <i>Whoo! Stinky!</i>

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