Домики для игр

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And what great timing.

00:00:06,048 --> 00:00:07,216

Our Western Idaho

bacon casserole is ready.

00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:10,094

Now, that looks

baconlicious.

00:00:10,219 --> 00:00:11,387

Now all we have to do

is dish it out

00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:13,764

and garnish with

a side of bacon.

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Oh, Macon, feels left out.

He needs some bacon.

00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:18,936

All right.

00:00:19,061 --> 00:00:21,564

Who loves bacon?

Who loves bacon?

00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:22,982

Who loves bacon?

00:00:23,107 --> 00:00:24,483

Who loves bacon?

00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:25,901

Who loves bacon?

00:00:26,027 --> 00:00:28,320

Who loves bacon?

Yeah.

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Now, we can't let all this

bacon grease go to waste.

00:00:32,575 --> 00:00:36,078

So this time, we're going to

pour it into a mold...

00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:38,205

And that makes

a fabulous dessert.

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Well, not it's time

for our favorite episode

00:00:41,417 --> 00:00:43,044

of "South Park."

It's called "Clubhouses."

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This is about that innocent

time in every kid's life

00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:47,006

where they play Truth or Dare

for the first time.

00:00:47,131 --> 00:00:48,257

The first time

I played Truth or Dare

00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,009

was with my Uncle Steve.

00:00:55,139 --> 00:00:56,682

Well, this episode

is also about

00:00:56,807 --> 00:00:58,225

the nasty business of divorce

00:00:58,350 --> 00:00:59,727

Divorce is a terrible thing.

00:00:59,852 --> 00:01:01,437

Both Matt's parents

and my parents

00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:02,980

are still married,

and that's the main reason

00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:04,648

we turned out to be

such nice guys.

00:01:04,774 --> 00:01:07,777

Have some more bacon, pig.

00:01:07,902 --> 00:01:09,111

So now we're going to enjoy

00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:10,404

some Western Idaho

bacon casserole,

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and you all enjoy

"Clubhouses."

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♪ I'm going down

to South Park ♪

00:01:25,544 --> 00:01:27,129

♪ Gonna have

myself a time ♪

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♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

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♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

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♪ Going down

to South Park ♪

00:01:32,051 --> 00:01:33,928

♪ Gonna leave my

woes behind ♪

00:01:34,053 --> 00:01:35,513

♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

00:01:35,638 --> 00:01:37,223

♪ People spouting

"howdy neighbor" ♪

00:01:37,348 --> 00:01:38,641

♪ Headed on up

to South Park ♪

00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:40,351

♪ Gonna see if

I can't unwind ♪

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♪ So come on down

to South Park ♪

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♪ And meet some

friends of mine ♪

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Sgt. Stanley Marsh is trapped

behind enemy lines.

00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:57,118

His only chance of survival

is to sneak past

00:01:57,243 --> 00:01:58,953

the Bosnian guard

who stands watch.

00:02:00,663 --> 00:02:01,997

Sgt. Marsh knows

it's now or never.

00:02:02,123 --> 00:02:03,791

He must make a run for it.

00:02:06,085 --> 00:02:08,504

The American base

is only a few feet away...

00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:15,970

It will take more than

your weak

00:02:16,095 --> 00:02:18,180

American weapons to destroy me.

00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:20,182

Cartman, we shot

your Bosnian fat ass!

00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:21,308

Yeah, you're dead!

00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:23,561

I have class 4 armour on

00:02:23,686 --> 00:02:25,437

that, uh, it

- No, you don't!

00:02:25,563 --> 00:02:27,606

Special armor

that's impenetrable

00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:29,441

to American bullets.

00:02:29,567 --> 00:02:30,943

Dude, every time we play

Americans vs. Bosnians,

00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:32,820

you cheat!

- Yeah Cartman, you suck.

00:02:32,945 --> 00:02:34,905

If you want to play

Americans vs. Bosnians anymore,

00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:36,490

you can just

play with yourself.

00:02:37,992 --> 00:02:40,327

That's fine,

I like playing with myself.

00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:42,538

I'll play with myself

all day long.

00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:44,498

What?

00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:45,875

Well, now what are

we going to do?

00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,543

I don't know.

- Hi, Stan.

00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:49,753

Hi, Wendy.

- Kyle, doesn't Bebe

00:02:49,879 --> 00:02:51,797

look pretty today?

- I don't know.

00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:53,507

She does, she looks

very pretty.

00:02:53,632 --> 00:02:55,801

Okay.

- Stan, can I talk to you

00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:56,927

for a second?

00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,310

Stan, wouldn't it be fun

if we fixed

00:03:04,435 --> 00:03:06,478

Kyle up with Bebe?

- No.

00:03:06,604 --> 00:03:08,606

If Bebe and Kyle

were a couple, then we could

00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:10,482

invite them over

to your clubhouse for dinner,

00:03:10,608 --> 00:03:12,484

and play parlor games and

have meaningful conversations

00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:13,861

and sip cognac

by the fireplace.

00:03:13,986 --> 00:03:15,613

We could?

- Yes, Stan!

00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:17,323

But, dude, I don't

have a clubhouse.

00:03:17,448 --> 00:03:19,992

You don't? I thought

all guys had clubhouses.

00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:22,119

Just how many guys'

clubhouses have you been in?

00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:25,414

Cartman don Cartman has ways

of making you talk.

00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:29,126

Stan, you have to

build a clubhouse,

00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:30,878

then all four of us could

sit in it and play

00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:33,130

"Truth or Dare."

00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:35,633

Truth or Dare, wow!

Come on, Kyle,

00:03:35,758 --> 00:03:36,926

we've got work to do.

We do?

00:03:37,051 --> 00:03:38,260

We're gonna build

a clubhouse.

00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:39,970

I have to ask

my dad for help.

00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:42,348

Did it work?

- I think it did, Bebe.

00:03:42,473 --> 00:03:43,974

If all goes as planned,

Kyle will be

00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:46,185

your new boyfriend!

- I hope so, Wendy.

00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:48,437

He's got such a hot ass!

00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:52,691

Hey, Phillip,

pull my finger.

00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:54,235

All right,

Terrence.

00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,237

Oh, wait,

wait, wait, pull harder.

00:03:56,362 --> 00:03:58,197

Well, all right.

00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:01,492

Damn it, pull really

hard, Phillip.

00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:04,662

- Okay.

- Wait.

00:04:04,787 --> 00:04:07,039

Aah!

Oh, boy!

00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:12,920

Wait, wait.

00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:15,714

Got you there.

00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:17,132

Uh, oh.

00:04:17,258 --> 00:04:18,717

Oh, you got me, Terrence.

00:04:18,842 --> 00:04:19,802

Yes, I sure did.

00:04:21,345 --> 00:04:22,930

Whoa, dude,

your dad is watching

00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:24,348

Terrence and Phillip.

No, I was just, uh,

00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:25,808

flipping through the channels.

00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,142

Hey, Dad, we need to

build a clubhouse.

00:04:27,268 --> 00:04:28,727

Okay.

- How do we do it?

00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:30,271

You just get

a hammer and some wood.

00:04:30,396 --> 00:04:31,480

What? Do some girls

want to play

00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,315

Truth or Dare or something?

00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:34,942

Yeah, dude! How did you know?

- How do you think

00:04:35,067 --> 00:04:36,777

I met your mother?

- Randy, my wedding ring.

00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:38,696

I lost it down

the garbage disposal!

00:04:38,821 --> 00:04:39,863

Oh, brother.

00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:44,743

Stanley, I thought

I told you not to watch

00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:46,287

this horrible cartoon.

00:04:46,412 --> 00:04:47,705

Yeah, Stanley,

you should know better.

00:04:47,830 --> 00:04:49,456

Dude!

- Here, Stanley,

00:04:49,581 --> 00:04:52,835

you watch nice

cartoons like "Fat Abbot".

00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,878

Randy, will you please

00:04:55,004 --> 00:04:56,547

come get my wedding ring

out of sink!

00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:59,008

Okay, okay.

Hey, hey, hey,

00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:00,843

what's going on, Rudy?

00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,469

Man, Fat Abbot,

you need to lose weight.

00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:04,847

I lose weight when

I feel like it, bitch!

00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,807

Shut your

bitchass mouth, ho'!

00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:08,142

Bitch?

I'll kick your ass!

00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:09,601

Whoa dude!

- Sweet!

00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:11,478

You think you're slick,

you punkass,

00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:13,689

blasphemous, dopefiend, bitch.

00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:16,150

I had my jimmy wacked

seven times last week.

00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:18,527

I'll bust a cap

in your.

00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,487

Wow, cartoons are

getting really dirty.

00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:23,282

Did you find it?

Give me a second, would you?

00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:25,659

Don't snap at me!

- I didn't snap at you.

00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:27,453

You snapped at me!

- Whatever.

00:05:27,578 --> 00:05:30,122

"Whatever"?

In 15 years, you've never said

00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:31,582

"whatever" to me.

00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:33,125

I don't want fight,

I'm sorry.

00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:35,502

I'm sorry, too.

I think I found it.

00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:38,339

That's not it, you idiot!

- Hey, back off, bitch!

00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:42,634

You just said the "C" word!

- Did I?

00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:45,387

This is a sweet spot

for a clubhouse.

00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:47,222

Yeah, hey, Stan,

what did your dad mean

00:05:47,348 --> 00:05:48,807

when he said we're gonna

play Truth or Dare?

00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:50,976

Oh, uh, just that maybe

when we're finished,

00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:53,187

Wendy and Bebe can

come over and play.

00:05:53,312 --> 00:05:54,313

Dude, what kind of

sick joke is that?

00:05:54,438 --> 00:05:55,731

Girls suck ass.

00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,441

Well, of course,

they do, but, uh...

00:05:57,566 --> 00:05:59,526

wouldn't it be sweet to play

Truth or Dare with them?

00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:01,612

What, why?

Because, dude,

00:06:01,737 --> 00:06:04,073

we could make them do really

gross stuff like eat bugs.

00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:05,407

Hey, yeah,

that would be sweet!

00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:07,326

We could totally

ruin their lives!

00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:08,827

What are you guys doing?

00:06:08,952 --> 00:06:10,079

We're building a clubhouse.

00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:11,830

A clubhouse?

00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:13,624

That's the lamest thing

I've ever heard.

00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:15,417

It's not lame,

it's sweet.

00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:16,543

After we build this clubhouse,

we're going to get

00:06:16,668 --> 00:06:17,795

girls to play Truth or Dare.

00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,172

Why?

00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:21,632

Because, dumbass,

we can dare them to do

00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:22,883

gross stuff and make them cry.

00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:24,676

What, were you born yesterday?

00:06:24,802 --> 00:06:26,261

Yeah, now beat it, you guys.

This clubhouse is private.

00:06:26,387 --> 00:06:28,639

That's fine.

We'll build our own clubhouse.

00:06:28,764 --> 00:06:30,224

Fine.

Fine, and then we'll get

00:06:30,349 --> 00:06:31,350

girls to play

Truth or Dare, too.

00:06:31,475 --> 00:06:32,559

Fine.

- Fine.

00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:33,936

Fine.

00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:35,437

Fine!

- Fine! That's fine!

00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:36,605

Fine!

- Fine!

00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:43,028

No, Kenny,

you can't look.

00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:46,073

I'm the foreman.

00:06:46,198 --> 00:06:47,449

Because, Kenny,

your family's poor.

00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:48,450

You have to be the worker.

00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:50,077

No, Kenny!

00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:51,870

How's the treehouse

coming along, hon?

00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:54,164

Mom, it's not a treehouse,

it's a clubhouse!

00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:55,541

Sorry, hon.

00:06:55,666 --> 00:06:57,584

Mom, can we pull up

the carpeting

00:06:57,709 --> 00:07:00,504

in the living room?

Well, I don't know, Eric.

00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:02,840

If you did that, then

the floors would be bare.

00:07:02,965 --> 00:07:05,217

But, Mom,

the blueprint says

00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:07,594

we need carpeting

in the clubhouse!

00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:09,138

Well, all right.

00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:10,681

Kenny, my mom says you can

go get carpeting

00:07:10,806 --> 00:07:13,392

in the living room now.

00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:15,018

And stop your bitchin'!

00:07:16,812 --> 00:07:18,439

What are you

doing, sweetheart?

00:07:18,564 --> 00:07:19,898

Getting a cookie.

We're building a clubhouse

00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:21,984

and then we're--

- You men are all alike.

00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,153

First you get a cookie and then

you criticize the way I dress

00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:25,654

and then it's the way I cook.

00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:26,697

I suppose next

you'll be telling me

00:07:26,822 --> 00:07:28,240

that you need your space

00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:30,325

and that I'm sabotaging

your creativity.

00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:34,163

Go ahead, Stanley,

get your goddamn cookie!

00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:35,330

'Kay.

00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:39,751

And so, children,

today we're going to focus

00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:42,129

on American history.

Right, Mr. Twig?

00:07:42,254 --> 00:07:44,548

That's right, Mr. Garrison.

American history is very

00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:47,843

When is Mr. Hat coming back?

- What did you say?

00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,511

When is Mr. Hat coming back?

00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:50,846

I told you to never

to mention that name

00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,181

in my classroom again.

00:07:52,306 --> 00:07:53,932

Mr. Hat is a

two-timing whore,

00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,726

and now we all

learn from Mr. Twig!

00:07:55,851 --> 00:07:57,728

But Mr. Twig sucks.

- Yeah!

00:07:57,853 --> 00:07:59,813

That is enough!

Mr. Hat is gone

00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:02,649

and he isn't coming back!

and I don't want to hear it!

00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:04,526

Anyway, children,

let's turn our history

00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:07,237

textbooks to page 105,

which would be right after...

00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:09,406

So, how's your lameass

clubhouse, Stan?

00:08:09,531 --> 00:08:11,742

Better than yours, fat boy.

- We'll see about that.

00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:13,035

Don't forget you need to

cut school early

00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:14,286

and wait for

the hot tub guy.

00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:17,414

Is the clubhouse ready?

- Almost.

00:08:17,539 --> 00:08:19,082

Stan,

are you paying attention?

00:08:19,208 --> 00:08:21,168

Yes, Mr. Garrison.

- Well then, Stanley,

00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:23,712

what did I just say?

00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,464

Um...

00:08:25,589 --> 00:08:27,716

You said that even though

Charo appeared 12 times

00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,384

on "The Love Boat",

the episode with

00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:31,678

"Captain and Tennille"

got higher ratings.

00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:35,766

Well, okay, I suppose

you were paying attention.

00:08:35,891 --> 00:08:37,643

Anyway, children...

- Good guess, dude.

00:08:37,768 --> 00:08:39,478

Phew!

00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:41,522

Psst, pass this up.

00:08:41,647 --> 00:08:42,773

Pass this up.

00:08:42,898 --> 00:08:43,982

Pass this up.

00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:45,817

P-Pass this up.

00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:47,736

Stanley, are you

passing notes to Kyle?

00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:48,779

No, I just

- Don't lie, Stan,

00:08:48,904 --> 00:08:50,239

lying makes you sterile.

00:08:50,364 --> 00:08:51,823

I'm not lying,

someone just handed me--

00:08:51,949 --> 00:08:53,158

Stanley, if you think

it's so important

00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:54,743

to keep interrupting

my class,

00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,537

then why don't you

come up to the front

00:08:56,662 --> 00:08:58,288

and read your note to Kyle

for everyone to hear?

00:08:58,413 --> 00:08:59,873

But I didn't

write the note.

00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:01,833

Mr. Garrison,

Stan's behavior is having

00:09:01,959 --> 00:09:03,835

an adverse affect

on my education.

00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:05,587

Shut up, Cartman!

- Stanley Marsh,

00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,631

you come up here right now

and read your note!

00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,508

Oh, man!

00:09:12,094 --> 00:09:15,514

"Dear Kyle, you have got

such a great ass.

00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:17,516

"I could sleep for days

on those perky cheeks,

00:09:17,641 --> 00:09:19,685

"let me tell you.

I'd like to live with you

00:09:19,810 --> 00:09:22,145

and wear your ass

as a hat for all eternity."

00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:24,606

Whoa, dude!

00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:30,279

Now, young man,

school is a time

00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:33,615

for learning, okay?

Not for immature skylarkings.

00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,033

What's "sky larkings"?

00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:36,577

You know,

like tomfooleries.

00:09:36,702 --> 00:09:37,869

Who?

00:09:37,995 --> 00:09:39,246

Oh, your

parents are here.

00:09:39,371 --> 00:09:40,998

Oh, no.

- Thank you for coming

00:09:41,123 --> 00:09:43,166

on such short notice.

I was just disciplining

00:09:43,292 --> 00:09:45,002

your son for his sky larkings.

00:09:45,127 --> 00:09:47,754

Stanley, I--

"sky larkings"?

00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:49,506

Okay?

00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:51,174

Stanley, I want you

to explain to me

00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:52,467

why you were

passing notes in school.

00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:54,136

Randy,

let me handle this.

00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:55,846

Now, Stanley,

I want you to explain to me

00:09:55,971 --> 00:09:57,723

why you were

passing notes in school.

00:09:57,848 --> 00:09:59,558

It wasn't my note, dude.

It was some girl's.

00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,560

Okay, Stanley, we're all here

to get to the root

00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:03,228

of your behavior disorder.

00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:04,730

You really should

know better, Stanley.

00:10:04,855 --> 00:10:05,814

You need to

shape up, mister.

00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,274

Don't interrupt me.

00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:08,900

You always interrupt me

when I talk.

00:10:09,026 --> 00:10:10,652

Can't you see that--

--I don't interrupt you.

00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:13,196

There, you did it again.

He interrupted me again.

00:10:13,322 --> 00:10:15,240

Okay, perhaps you should

let your wife

00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:17,701

finish talking, Mr. Marsh.

Now, Stan, I want you to

00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,786

Okay, I'm sorry to interrupt,

but she always

00:10:19,911 --> 00:10:21,955

takes over

any conversation.

00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,541

Uh, taking over

any conversations bad?

00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,710

Like you're one to talk.

When's the last time

00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:28,629

you really listened

to what I had to say?

00:10:28,754 --> 00:10:31,632

Uh, uh, okay.

- When was the last time

00:10:31,757 --> 00:10:33,050

you had anything

interesting to say?

00:10:33,175 --> 00:10:34,926

It's always gossip

and stupid crap.

00:10:35,052 --> 00:10:36,303

Apparently,

we have a bit of a

00:10:36,428 --> 00:10:38,263

communication problem here.

00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:40,182

Mr. Marsh,

tell me how you're feeling.

00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,643

Well, I feel like

everything I do is wrong.

00:10:42,768 --> 00:10:44,144

It doesn't matter what I say.

00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:46,772

Okay, that's valid.

Now, Mrs. Marsh,

00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:47,814

how do you feel?

- Excuse me.

00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:49,524

Like I'm a ghost,

00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,735

like he sees right through me.

- Oh, please!

00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,695

Hello.

- Oh, please, yourself.

00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,489

Who tries to control

the marriage?

00:10:55,614 --> 00:10:57,449

And by that,

I mean who's dominating

00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:58,742

the aspects

of the relationship?

00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:01,119

He is.

- No, she is.

00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:03,538

Oh, I'm sorry,

I guess I'm wrong again!

00:11:03,664 --> 00:11:04,539

Okay...

00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:06,208

Look at it, Kenny.

00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,126

It is the greatest

clubhouse ever built.

00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:09,836

Uhhuh.

- And we built it,

00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:11,338

with our own hands.

00:11:11,463 --> 00:11:12,798

Now all we need

is chicks, Kenny.

00:11:12,923 --> 00:11:14,383

Yeah!

- All right,

00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:16,593

you go find chicks, Kenny.

00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:18,053

Because I have

to stay here and work.

00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,888

I still got

to shingle the roof,

00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,932

test the foundation,

run all kinds of inspections,

00:11:22,057 --> 00:11:23,725

I've got way too much to do,

and all you have to do

00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:26,645

is go find chicks.

Now, stop your bitchin'!

00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:31,608

Mom, can I watch

"American Gladiators"?

00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:32,901

Dude, where have you been?

00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,695

I've been waiting

all afternoon.

00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:35,904

I got in trouble

for that note Bebe was trying

00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,447

to pass to you.

- To me?

00:11:37,572 --> 00:11:39,366

I mean, no,

not to you, forget it.

00:11:39,491 --> 00:11:41,034

Come on, dude, we have to

finish our clubhouse quick.

00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:42,369

The girls want to play

Truth or Dare, tomorrow.

00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:46,164

We should use nails, dude.

00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:47,624

My mom won't let us.

00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:49,793

Hi, guys, how's

the clubhouse coming?

00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:51,503

Pretty good,

we're almost done.

00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:53,880

Well hurry, we want to

play Truth or Dare.

00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:55,424

We're going

as fast as we can.

00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:57,718

Kyle, could you

turn around for a second?

00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:03,640

Thank you.

00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:06,059

Come on, dude,

we have to hammer faster.

00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:08,186

Hey, Stan, do you know how

to play Truth or Dare?

00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:09,896

No.

- Well, dude, how the hell

00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:11,314

are we supposed

to play it then?

00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:12,733

I didn't even

think about that!

00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:15,902

...And then they'll

ask, "Truth or Dare?"

00:12:16,027 --> 00:12:18,405

And I say "dare."

- No, no, you say "truth."

00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:19,865

Truth?

But that's boring.

00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:21,408

I want to get

dared to kiss her.

00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:23,201

You have to say truth

the first few times

00:12:23,326 --> 00:12:25,370

or else you'll seem to eager.

- Oh.

00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:27,789

You can't seem to eager.

You got to play it cool.

00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,541

Like you don't even

care what happens.

00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:31,376

Yeah.

Then after a few truths,

00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:33,754

you finally answer "dare."

- Dare!

00:12:33,879 --> 00:12:37,215

But not like that, son.

Like this:

00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,009

Dare...

00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:40,886

Oh.

And then her little friend

00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:42,596

will dare you to kiss Wendy.

00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:43,930

You really think so?

- Of course she will.

00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:45,474

They're women.

00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:46,850

They've had this

whole thing planned out

00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,769

months ahead of time.

- Wow!

00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:55,233

Hey, hey, hey,

what's going down, y'all?

00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:56,485

Man, Fat Abbot,

what are you doing

00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:57,944

on this side of the hood?

00:12:58,069 --> 00:12:59,654

You know something, Rudy,

00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:01,531

you're like school

in summertime.

00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:03,241

School in summertime?

00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:05,160

Yeah, bitch.

School in summertime.

00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,661

Open your

ears

00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:08,663

or I'll pop your

bitchass.

00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:11,249

I'lla popa youra bitcha

assa tooba, bitcha.

00:13:11,374 --> 00:13:13,251

What the hell is

going on in this cartoon?

00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:16,713

Oh, hey, Kenny,

did you find any chicks

00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:17,964

to come to the clubhouse?

00:13:18,089 --> 00:13:19,466

Uh-huh.

00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:21,092

Hi, we ran

away from home.

00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:22,844

Like, this kid told us

we might be able to

00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:24,596

crash at your clubhouse

for a couple of days.

00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:26,807

Holy crap!

00:13:26,932 --> 00:13:30,060

Behold, Ewok Village 2000!

00:13:30,185 --> 00:13:32,062

Oh, well, I guess

it beats living at home.

00:13:32,187 --> 00:13:35,482

Can I offer you ladies a cool

beverage or a tasty snack?

00:13:37,359 --> 00:13:39,236

Hello?

00:13:39,361 --> 00:13:40,487

How's the clubhouse coming,

Stan?

00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:42,030

We're working on it.

00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,698

Well,

I just thought I'd tell you

00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:45,700

that me and Kenny

have finished our clubhouse,

00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:46,993

and we already

have chicks over.

00:13:47,118 --> 00:13:48,578

No, you don't.

00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:52,165

Dude!

- It's only a matter of time

00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:53,792

before we're playing

Truth or Dare with them.

00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:55,585

Good luck with your

pieceofcrap clubhouse.

00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:57,128

Asshole!

- Fat ass, fat hunk of fat.

00:13:57,254 --> 00:13:58,672

Mom,

will you please ask Dad

00:13:58,797 --> 00:14:00,006

to come help me

build my clubhouse?

00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:01,591

Stanley,

I think you should know

00:14:01,716 --> 00:14:03,009

that your father

has moved out.

00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:04,469

What!

Why?

00:14:04,594 --> 00:14:06,471

Because...

We're divorced, Stanley.

00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:08,265

Divorced, oh no!

00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:10,308

Does that mean you and Dad

don't love me anymore?

00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:12,269

This is all my fault,

isn't it?

00:14:12,394 --> 00:14:14,229

Yeah, kind of.

00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,106

Dude, you're not

supposed to say that.

00:14:16,231 --> 00:14:18,692

But I would like you to

meet your new stepfather, Roy.

00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:20,402

Hello, son.

- What?!

00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,320

I'll leave you two alone

to get acquainted.

00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:24,114

Hello, Stanley.

I know this must be

00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:25,866

a very difficult period

for you right now,

00:14:25,991 --> 00:14:27,701

and the adjustment is

going to take some time,

00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:29,286

but I'd like

to be your friend.

00:14:29,411 --> 00:14:31,121

So when you're ready,

I want you to feel free

00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:33,164

to come to me with

anything you might need,

00:14:33,290 --> 00:14:35,250

whether it's advice or just

someone to play catch with.

00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:36,751

You can count on me.

00:14:36,877 --> 00:14:38,378

This is happening

way too fast.

00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:40,046

Oh, Jesus,

when are you going to cut me

00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:42,340

some slack, huh?

I have taken you under my wing

00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:44,217

and done my best,

and all you ever do

00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:46,094

is whine and moan about it!

Now, for the last time,

00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,513

go cut some firewood!

00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:51,975

...So I'm on my way

out the door and she goes,

00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:53,852

"Make sure you're

home before midnight."

00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:55,437

Oh, that's weak.

- And I go,

00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:56,938

"Listen, bitch,

I don't need my mother

00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,732

giving me no curfew."

- That's killer.

00:14:58,857 --> 00:15:00,984

And she goes, "If you're

not home before midnight,

00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:02,444

don't bother

coming home at all."

00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:03,987

That's totally weak.

- So I go,

00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:05,655

"Fine, I won't come home."

- Sweet.

00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:07,741

And then she goes,

"Fine don't come home."

00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:10,076

Getting all in my face and crap

and acting all tough and crap.

00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:11,870

- Killer weak sweet.

I'm 16,

00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:13,997

I should be able to do

what I want, when I want.

00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:16,166

I don't need her breathing down

my neck every two seconds

00:15:16,291 --> 00:15:17,959

telling me what

I can and cannot do.

00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:19,794

I had the same thing

with my mom the other day.

00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:22,797

I'm all like, "Hey,

I'm not a little kid anymore.

00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:25,675

"Mom, I'm eight years old,

and if I want to finger paint,

00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,719

then I'm going

to finger paint!"

00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:32,015

Okay, we're done.

00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:34,267

Dude, I don't think

this is very sturdy.

00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:35,769

It doesn't matter, dude.

It only has to last

00:15:35,894 --> 00:15:37,187

long enough to play

Truth or Dare.

00:15:37,312 --> 00:15:38,396

I'm going to go

get the girls.

00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:42,192

Okay.

00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:45,028

Oh!

- Stanley, it's time to go!

00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:46,905

Go where?

- Your bastard father

00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:49,032

has visitation rights,

and this is his time with you.

00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:50,408

But, nah, I have to go

get the girls to come--

00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:51,993

Come on, Stanley.

- Weak!

00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:55,956

Dad?

- Hey, Stanley, hop in.

00:15:56,081 --> 00:15:57,874

Listen, Stanley,

I know all this change

00:15:57,999 --> 00:16:00,251

must be tough on you,

but your mother and I thought

00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:01,962

it'd be best for all of us

if we split up.

00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:03,338

But I don't understand

why we have to--

00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,090

Well hello, ladies!

00:16:05,215 --> 00:16:07,968

Hi, handsome, we're gonna

be at Larry's Bar tonight.

00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:10,512

I'm already there.

00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,472

What were we talking about?

Oh, yeah.

00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:14,766

See, your mother and I still

care about you and your sister,

00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:17,060

but we just don't like being

around each other anymore.

00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:18,603

Well, I don't like being

around my sister anymore,

00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:20,105

does that mean I can

leave her, too?

00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:21,773

Well, no,

because you're family,

00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:23,775

you can't just leave family.

You have stick

00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:25,819

with family no matter what.

But you and mom are family,

00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:28,238

how come you can just split up?

00:16:28,363 --> 00:16:30,156

You know what I think?

I think that when you and mom

00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:32,117

got married, you became family

and now that you are,

00:16:32,242 --> 00:16:33,952

you shouldn't be able

to leave her any more than

00:16:34,077 --> 00:16:36,788

I can leave my sister.

Oh, Stan, you're so young.

00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:38,581

You just don't get it.

00:16:38,707 --> 00:16:40,542

Well anyway, have a nice day.

- What, that's it?

00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,585

Yeah, but I loved

our time together.

00:16:42,711 --> 00:16:44,337

I hate to see it end,

go on, get out.

00:16:44,462 --> 00:16:45,880

You know that nothing

is more important to me

00:16:46,006 --> 00:16:47,924

than you, right, Stan?

- I guess, but--

00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:55,974

The girls are gonna be here

to play Truth or Dare any minute.

00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:57,475

Stan, if I didn't

know you better,

00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,185

I'd almost think

you're doing this because

00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:00,770

you want to play with girls.

- No way, dude.

00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:02,272

Don't be silly.

- Come on, Wendy!

00:17:02,397 --> 00:17:03,940

We have to say "truth"

a couple of times

00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:05,442

before we say "dare", right?

- Right, why?

00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:06,735

Because if we don't,

we'll seem too eager.

00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:07,986

Too eager to what?

00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:09,571

To say dare,

dumbass, geez.

00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:11,072

Hi guys.

00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:12,741

Oh, hi, Wendy,

what's up?

00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:14,117

Don't you guys still

want to play Truth or Dare?

00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:15,827

Yeah!

I mean...Sure, whatever.

00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:17,328

Then come on!

00:17:17,454 --> 00:17:18,955

Remember truth the

first couple of times.

00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,540

Okay.

- Who wants to go first?

00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:22,542

I will. Kyle?

- Yeah?

00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:25,086

Truth or Dare?

- Um, dare?

00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:26,171

Dude!

- What?

00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:29,257

Kiss Bebe on the lips.

00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:30,425

What? Sick, dude!

I'm not kissing a girl!

00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:31,843

What's the matter, Kyle?

00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:33,511

It's just wrong,

that's all!

00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:35,138

Don't be a chicken, dude.

Just close your eyes.

00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:36,514

What the hell have

you gotten me into!

00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:38,058

Dude, Cartman

is in his clubhouse

00:17:38,183 --> 00:17:39,392

playing Truth or Dare

with girls right now.

00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:41,478

Do you really want him

to beat us?

00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:44,814

Oh, boy.

00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:50,820

Sick!

Ah, fucking sickening!

00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:53,573

Wow, look at that ass.

Shake it, baby!

00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:55,241

Your turn, Bebe.

00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:57,452

Okay, Stan, Truth or Dare?

00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:02,707

Stan, Truth or Dare?

00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:04,834

Dare.

00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:07,295

Son, could you please come

help me with the firewood?

00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,422

Dude, we cut firewood

all day yesterday.

00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:11,007

We have enough

to last 12 years.

00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:13,551

When will you let me in,

let me love you!

00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:16,054

Now get your ass

out here and help me.

00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:17,555

Bye, Stan.

Hopefully we can play

00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,474

Truth or Dare tomorrow.

- Crap!

00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,351

I think you should be

able to move out

00:18:21,476 --> 00:18:22,977

legally when you're 14.

00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:24,229

Our moms won't even

let us smoke.

00:18:24,354 --> 00:18:26,231

Yeah, it's my body.

00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:28,525

My mom always gives me shit

for smoking, but it's my body.

00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:30,193

I should be able to do

whatever I want with it.

00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:33,238

Totally. My mom gives

me shit sometimes,

00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:34,614

and I tell her to

shut her hole

00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:36,241

before I kick her in the nuts.

00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:38,243

Eric, Pookums,

it's time for mommy

00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:40,870

to tuck you into your

snuggle bed for nightnight.

00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:43,665

Eric, are you out there

in your clubhouse?

00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,834

Coming, Mom.

00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:47,335

Okay, we have to play

Truth or Dare, quick!

00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:48,419

What's up?

- Hey, girls.

00:18:48,545 --> 00:18:49,546

Oh, hey, Scott.

00:18:49,671 --> 00:18:50,964

Who the hell are you?

00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:52,549

Oh, we invited

some people over.

00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:54,759

- Hope you don't mind.

- How many people?

00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:56,636

Kyle, can I talk to you?

- Okay.

00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:58,972

Kyle, this is

very difficult for me.

00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:00,765

I think we need time apart.

- Huh?

00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:02,350

I'm just feeling

really trapped.

00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,018

I can't go on with

this codependency.

00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:06,271

Okay, that's fine.

- No, no, don't speak.

00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:08,398

Just try and understand.

It has to be this way.

00:19:08,523 --> 00:19:10,150

But I don't care.

00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:11,818

Please, just remember

the good times we had.

00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:14,696

I'll never forget you.

Never.

00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,865

Okay, Clyde, we can go now.

- Bitchin'.

00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:20,076

These are cafe curtains

that require no sewing

00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:22,495

and I know

you all love that!

00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:23,997

Do you mind

if I watch cartoons?

00:19:24,122 --> 00:19:25,748

I've had a rough day.

00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:27,542

What?

- Chores. Do chores.

00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:28,918

My dad lets me

watch cartoons.

00:19:29,043 --> 00:19:30,837

Well, I'm not your dad,

okay?

00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:32,714

I'm not your dad!

00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:35,466

You can't just go around

playing games with my emotions.

00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:36,968

Stanley,

00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:38,511

what did you do to Roy?

00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:39,888

Roy's a dick.

He ruined my chances

00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:41,389

with Wendy in the clubhouse.

00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:42,891

Stanley,

you know you're the most

00:19:43,016 --> 00:19:44,809

important thing to me, right?

00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:46,644

If that's true, then get back

together with Dad for me.

00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:48,855

Now, Stanley, you have to

understand how divorce works.

00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:51,024

When I say you're the most

important thing to me,

00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:53,359

what I mean is, you're the most

important thing after me,

00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:55,153

and my happiness

and my new romances.

00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:57,238

Oh.

- Bye now. Roy?

00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:58,740

Divorce is stupid.

00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:01,326

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, Yolanda,

00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:03,870

why's your eye all black

and blue and?

00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:06,748

Man, Fat Abbot, my stepdad

popped me in my eye.

00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:09,500

Stepdad?

You got to off his ass.

00:20:09,626 --> 00:20:11,211

Really?

- Yeah, bitch!

00:20:11,336 --> 00:20:13,379

Snatch his ass

in a bear trap.

00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:15,924

Leave that swinging

from a tree so high,

00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:17,842

nobody finds him for days.

00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:19,886

Glockglock,

you know what I'm saying?

00:20:20,011 --> 00:20:22,305

Dumbass,

pulling, damn!

00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:24,057

You're right,

Fat Abbot, thanks!

00:20:24,182 --> 00:20:26,726

No problem, ho'.

Maybe later you can

00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:29,270

suck my,

bitch ho'.

00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:31,105

Well, Fat Abbot

and the gang sure did

00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:32,774

learn something today.

00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:34,692

If you have a stepdad

riding your ass,

00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:36,444

just snatch his ass

in a bear trap.

00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,196

Crack, no more stepdad.

00:20:38,321 --> 00:20:40,114

See you next time,

eating the pudding.

00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:43,910

Yeah, yeah, I think I'll

write a little note for Roy.

00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:52,377

Hey, kid, give me

some of those.

00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:54,295

Hey, when are we

gonna play Truth or Dare?

00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:56,130

What?

That game's for kids.

00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:58,800

This is bullcrap!

- Oh, boy, it's getting late.

00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:00,134

I'm gonna have

to leave this party.

00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:01,511

This sucks, Kenny.

00:21:01,636 --> 00:21:03,054

I wish we'd never

built a clubhouse.

00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:05,348

Mosh pit!

00:21:05,473 --> 00:21:07,892

Hmm?

00:21:10,353 --> 00:21:12,272

Oh, my God,

they killed Kenny!

00:21:12,397 --> 00:21:14,607

You bastards!

00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:19,445

Stanley, your father is

coming over for visitation.

00:21:19,570 --> 00:21:21,281

Stan?

00:21:21,406 --> 00:21:23,741

"Meet me in

the clubhouse."

00:21:25,743 --> 00:21:29,539

Sharon, Sharon, have you seen

my copy of "Harper's"?

00:21:29,664 --> 00:21:31,791

"Meet me at the clubhouse."

00:21:33,668 --> 00:21:36,504

Oh, Randy, what are

you doing here?

00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:38,464

I, uh, got a note

from Stanley

00:21:38,589 --> 00:21:40,049

to come out

to the clubhouse.

00:21:40,174 --> 00:21:41,676

Oh, I thought

that note was for me.

00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:43,386

Oh, maybe it was.

00:21:43,511 --> 00:21:45,054

Well, it looks like

our little Stanley

00:21:45,179 --> 00:21:47,473

has built himself

quite a clubhouse here.

00:21:47,598 --> 00:21:49,183

I remember not too long ago

we were just kids

00:21:49,309 --> 00:21:51,352

playing kissing games

in my clubhouse.

00:21:53,563 --> 00:21:54,480

Good night.

00:21:54,605 --> 00:21:56,065

Sharon?

- Yes?

00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:57,859

Truth or Dare.

- It's too late for games.

00:21:57,984 --> 00:21:59,902

No, I'm serious, please.

Truth or Dare?

00:22:00,028 --> 00:22:01,779

Truth.

- Do you still love me?

00:22:01,904 --> 00:22:04,782

Oh, Randy, I do love you,

but now I'm so confused.

00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:06,242

I'm living with Roy,

and I don't know

00:22:06,367 --> 00:22:07,744

how to

break it off with him.

00:22:07,869 --> 00:22:10,121

Sharon?

00:22:10,246 --> 00:22:11,539

Well, you never know.

00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:12,665

Maybe things will work out.

00:22:12,790 --> 00:22:14,042

Hello?

- Maybe.

00:22:14,167 --> 00:22:16,127

I guess it's my turn.

- Truth or Dare?

00:22:16,252 --> 00:22:17,795

- Sharon?

- Dare...

00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:20,757

Do me,

right here in the clubhouse.

00:22:20,882 --> 00:22:23,092

Hello, hello?

00:22:23,217 --> 00:22:24,677

Can somebody cut me--

Hello?

00:22:24,802 --> 00:22:27,055

Wow, clubhouses are magical.

00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:33,728

Okay, it's my turn.

Stan, Truth or Dare?

00:22:37,190 --> 00:22:38,399

Dare.

00:22:41,069 --> 00:22:44,739

Take this stick

and jam it up your peehole.

00:22:46,157 --> 00:22:47,909

What!?

- Wow, that sucks!

00:22:48,034 --> 00:22:49,035

Do you think it'll hurt?

00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,829

Hello?

00:22:51,954 --> 00:22:54,957

I sure am hungry.

00:22:55,083 --> 00:22:57,502

Anybody?

00:22:57,627 --> 00:23:00,838

It certainly does

suck right here.

00:23:00,963 --> 00:23:02,423

Hello?

00:23:02,548 --> 00:23:05,343

Sh-Sh-Sharon?

00:23:05,468 --> 00:23:08,888

Sharon, hello?

00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:05,923

And what great timing.

00:00:06,048 --> 00:00:07,216

Our Western Idaho

bacon casserole is ready.

00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:08,509

[audience oohs]

00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:10,094

Now, that looks

baconlicious.

00:00:10,219 --> 00:00:11,387

Now all we have to do

is dish it out

00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:13,764

and garnish with

a side of bacon.

00:00:13,889 --> 00:00:15,516

[pig snorting]

00:00:15,641 --> 00:00:17,643

Oh, Macon, feels left out.

He needs some bacon.

00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:18,936

All right.

00:00:19,061 --> 00:00:21,564

Who loves bacon?

Who loves bacon?

00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:22,982

Who loves bacon?

00:00:23,107 --> 00:00:24,483

[pig snorting]

Who loves bacon?

00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:25,901

Who loves bacon?

00:00:26,027 --> 00:00:28,320

Who loves bacon?

Yeah.

00:00:28,446 --> 00:00:30,322

[applause]

00:00:30,448 --> 00:00:32,450

Now, we can't let all this

bacon grease go to waste.

00:00:32,575 --> 00:00:36,078

So this time, we're going to

pour it into a mold...

00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:38,205

And that makes

a fabulous dessert.

00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:39,790

[crowd oohs, applauds]

00:00:39,915 --> 00:00:41,292

Well, not it's time

for our favorite episode

00:00:41,417 --> 00:00:43,044

of "South Park."

It's called "Clubhouses."

00:00:43,169 --> 00:00:45,171

This is about that innocent

time in every kid's life

00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:47,006

where they play Truth or Dare

for the first time.

00:00:47,131 --> 00:00:48,257

The first time

I played Truth or Dare

00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,009

was with my Uncle Steve.

00:00:55,139 --> 00:00:56,682

Well, this episode

is also about

00:00:56,807 --> 00:00:58,225

the nasty business of divorce

00:00:58,350 --> 00:00:59,727

Divorce is a terrible thing.

00:00:59,852 --> 00:01:01,437

Both Matt's parents

and my parents

00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:02,980

are still married,

and that's the main reason

00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:04,648

we turned out to be

such nice guys.

00:01:04,774 --> 00:01:07,777

[pig squealing]

Have some more bacon, pig.

00:01:07,902 --> 00:01:09,111

So now we're going to enjoy

00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:10,404

some Western Idaho

bacon casserole,

00:01:10,529 --> 00:01:12,239

and you all enjoy

"Clubhouses."

00:01:12,364 --> 00:01:13,824

[light music, applause]

00:01:20,873 --> 00:01:23,918

[upbeat music]

00:01:24,043 --> 00:01:25,419

♪ I'm going down

to South Park ♪

00:01:25,544 --> 00:01:27,129

♪ Gonna have

myself a time ♪

00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:28,798

♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

00:01:28,923 --> 00:01:30,549

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:31,926

♪ Going down

to South Park ♪

00:01:32,051 --> 00:01:33,928

♪ Gonna leave my

woes behind ♪

00:01:34,053 --> 00:01:35,513

♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

00:01:35,638 --> 00:01:37,223

♪ People spouting

"howdy neighbor" ♪

00:01:37,348 --> 00:01:38,641

♪ Headed on up

to South Park ♪

00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:40,351

♪ Gonna see if

I can't unwind ♪

00:01:40,476 --> 00:01:43,813

[ ♪ mumbling ♪ ]

00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:45,314

♪ So come on down

to South Park ♪

00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:46,774

♪ And meet some

friends of mine ♪

00:01:47,858 --> 00:01:50,861

[playful music]

00:01:52,822 --> 00:01:54,907

Sgt. Stanley Marsh is trapped

behind enemy lines.

00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:57,118

His only chance of survival

is to sneak past

00:01:57,243 --> 00:01:58,953

the Bosnian guard

who stands watch.

00:02:00,663 --> 00:02:01,997

Sgt. Marsh knows

it's now or never.

00:02:02,123 --> 00:02:03,791

He must make a run for it.

00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:05,960

[panting]

00:02:06,085 --> 00:02:08,504

The American base

is only a few feet away...

00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:10,172

[shouting in

foreign language]

00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:13,259

[all imitating gunfire]

00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:15,970

It will take more than

your weak

00:02:16,095 --> 00:02:18,180

American weapons to destroy me.

00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:20,182

Cartman, we shot

your Bosnian fat ass!

00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:21,308

Yeah, you're dead!

00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:23,561

I have class 4 armour on

00:02:23,686 --> 00:02:25,437

that, uh, it

- No, you don't!

00:02:25,563 --> 00:02:27,606

Special armor

that's impenetrable

00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:29,441

to American bullets.

00:02:29,567 --> 00:02:30,943

Dude, every time we play

Americans vs. Bosnians,

00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:32,820

you cheat!

- Yeah Cartman, you suck.

00:02:32,945 --> 00:02:34,905

If you want to play

Americans vs. Bosnians anymore,

00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:36,490

you can just

play with yourself.

00:02:37,992 --> 00:02:40,327

That's fine,

I like playing with myself.

00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:42,538

I'll play with myself

all day long.

00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:44,498

[laughs]

What?

00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:45,875

Well, now what are

we going to do?

00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,543

I don't know.

- Hi, Stan.

00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:49,753

Hi, Wendy.

- Kyle, doesn't Bebe

00:02:49,879 --> 00:02:51,797

look pretty today?

- I don't know.

00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:53,507

She does, she looks

very pretty.

00:02:53,632 --> 00:02:55,801

Okay.

- Stan, can I talk to you

00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:56,927

for a second?

00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,310

Stan, wouldn't it be fun

if we fixed

00:03:04,435 --> 00:03:06,478

Kyle up with Bebe?

- No.

00:03:06,604 --> 00:03:08,606

If Bebe and Kyle

were a couple, then we could

00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:10,482

invite them over

to your clubhouse for dinner,

00:03:10,608 --> 00:03:12,484

and play parlor games and

have meaningful conversations

00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:13,861

and sip cognac

by the fireplace.

00:03:13,986 --> 00:03:15,613

We could?

- Yes, Stan!

00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:17,323

But, dude, I don't

have a clubhouse.

00:03:17,448 --> 00:03:19,992

You don't? I thought

all guys had clubhouses.

00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:22,119

Just how many guys'

clubhouses have you been in?

00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:25,414

Cartman don Cartman has ways

of making you talk.

00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,082

[farts]

- [screams]

00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:29,126

Stan, you have to

build a clubhouse,

00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:30,878

then all four of us could

sit in it and play

00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:33,130

"Truth or Dare."

[enchanting music]

00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:35,633

Truth or Dare, wow!

Come on, Kyle,

00:03:35,758 --> 00:03:36,926

we've got work to do.

We do?

00:03:37,051 --> 00:03:38,260

We're gonna build

a clubhouse.

00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:39,970

I have to ask

my dad for help.

00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:42,348

Did it work?

- I think it did, Bebe.

00:03:42,473 --> 00:03:43,974

If all goes as planned,

Kyle will be

00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:46,185

your new boyfriend!

- I hope so, Wendy.

00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:48,437

He's got such a hot ass!

00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:52,691

Hey, Phillip,

pull my finger.

00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:54,235

All right,

Terrence.

00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,237

[groans] Oh, wait,

wait, wait, pull harder.

00:03:56,362 --> 00:03:58,197

Well, all right.

[grunts]

00:03:58,322 --> 00:03:59,907

[laughs]

00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:01,492

Damn it, pull really

hard, Phillip.

00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:04,662

Okay.

[grunts] Wait. [grunts]

00:04:04,787 --> 00:04:07,039

Aah!

Oh, boy!

00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:10,042

[grunting]

00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:12,920

Wait, wait.

[grunts]

00:04:13,045 --> 00:04:14,713

[farts]

[both laugh]

00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:15,714

Got you there.

00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:17,132

Uh, oh.

[laughs]

00:04:17,258 --> 00:04:18,717

Oh, you got me, Terrence.

00:04:18,842 --> 00:04:19,802

Yes, I sure did.

[both laugh]

00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,220

[laughs]

00:04:21,345 --> 00:04:22,930

Whoa, dude,

your dad is watching

00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:24,348

Terrence and Phillip.

No, I was just, uh,

00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:25,808

flipping through the channels.

00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,142

Hey, Dad, we need to

build a clubhouse.

00:04:27,268 --> 00:04:28,727

Okay.

- How do we do it?

00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:30,271

You just get

a hammer and some wood.

00:04:30,396 --> 00:04:31,480

What? Do some girls

want to play

00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,315

Truth or Dare or something?

00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:34,942

Yeah, dude! How did you know?

- How do you think

00:04:35,067 --> 00:04:36,777

I met your mother?

- Randy, my wedding ring.

00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:38,696

I lost it down

the garbage disposal!

00:04:38,821 --> 00:04:39,863

Oh, brother.

00:04:39,989 --> 00:04:42,366

[both laughing]

00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:44,743

Stanley, I thought

I told you not to watch

00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:46,287

this horrible cartoon.

00:04:46,412 --> 00:04:47,705

Yeah, Stanley,

you should know better.

00:04:47,830 --> 00:04:49,456

Dude!

- Here, Stanley,

00:04:49,581 --> 00:04:52,835

you watch nice

cartoons like "Fat Abbot".

00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,878

[groans]

Randy, will you please

00:04:55,004 --> 00:04:56,547

come get my wedding ring

out of sink!

00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:59,008

Okay, okay.

Hey, hey, hey,

00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:00,843

what's going on, Rudy?

00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,469

Man, Fat Abbot,

you need to lose weight.

00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:04,847

I lose weight when

I feel like it, bitch!

00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,807

Shut your

bitchass mouth, ho'!

00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:08,142

Bitch?

I'll kick your ass!

00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:09,601

Whoa dude!

- Sweet!

00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:11,478

You think you're slick,

you punkass,

00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:13,689

blasphemous, dopefiend, bitch.

00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:16,150

I had my jimmy wacked

seven times last week.

00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:18,527

I'll bust a cap

in your [bleep] [bleep].

00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,487

Wow, cartoons are

getting really dirty.

00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:23,282

Did you find it?

Give me a second, would you?

00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:25,659

Don't snap at me!

- I didn't snap at you.

00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:27,453

You snapped at me!

- Whatever.

00:05:27,578 --> 00:05:30,122

"Whatever"?

In 15 years, you've never said

00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:31,582

"whatever" to me.

00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:33,125

I don't want fight,

I'm sorry.

00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:35,502

I'm sorry, too.

I think I found it.

00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:38,339

That's not it, you idiot!

- Hey, back off, bitch!

00:05:38,464 --> 00:05:39,798

[gasps]

00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:42,634

You just said the "C" word!

- Did I?

00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:45,387

This is a sweet spot

for a clubhouse.

00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:47,222

Yeah, hey, Stan,

what did your dad mean

00:05:47,348 --> 00:05:48,807

when he said we're gonna

play Truth or Dare?

00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:50,976

Oh, uh, just that maybe

when we're finished,

00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:53,187

Wendy and Bebe can

come over and play.

00:05:53,312 --> 00:05:54,313

Dude, what kind of

sick joke is that?

00:05:54,438 --> 00:05:55,731

Girls suck ass.

00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,441

Well, of course,

they do, but, uh...

00:05:57,566 --> 00:05:59,526

wouldn't it be sweet to play

Truth or Dare with them?

00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:01,612

What, why?

Because, dude,

00:06:01,737 --> 00:06:04,073

we could make them do really

gross stuff like eat bugs.

00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:05,407

Hey, yeah,

that would be sweet!

00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:07,326

We could totally

ruin their lives!

00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:08,827

What are you guys doing?

00:06:08,952 --> 00:06:10,079

We're building a clubhouse.

00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:11,830

[laughs]

A clubhouse?

00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:13,624

That's the lamest thing

I've ever heard.

00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:15,417

It's not lame,

it's sweet.

00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:16,543

After we build this clubhouse,

we're going to get

00:06:16,668 --> 00:06:17,795

girls to play Truth or Dare.

00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,172

Why?

00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:21,632

Because, dumbass,

we can dare them to do

00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:22,883

gross stuff and make them cry.

00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:24,676

What, were you born yesterday?

00:06:24,802 --> 00:06:26,261

Yeah, now beat it, you guys.

This clubhouse is private.

00:06:26,387 --> 00:06:28,639

That's fine.

We'll build our own clubhouse.

00:06:28,764 --> 00:06:30,224

Fine.

Fine, and then we'll get

00:06:30,349 --> 00:06:31,350

girls to play

Truth or Dare, too.

00:06:31,475 --> 00:06:32,559

Fine.

- Fine.

00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:33,936

Fine.

- [mumbles]

00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:35,437

Fine!

- Fine! That's fine!

00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:36,605

Fine!

- Fine!

00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:43,028

No, Kenny,

you can't look.

00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:46,073

I'm the foreman.

- [mumbling]

00:06:46,198 --> 00:06:47,449

Because, Kenny,

your family's poor.

00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:48,450

You have to be the worker.

00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:50,077

No, Kenny!

00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:51,870

How's the treehouse

coming along, hon?

00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:54,164

Mom, it's not a treehouse,

it's a clubhouse!

00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:55,541

Sorry, hon.

00:06:55,666 --> 00:06:57,584

Mom, can we pull up

the carpeting

00:06:57,709 --> 00:07:00,504

in the living room?

Well, I don't know, Eric.

00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:02,840

If you did that, then

the floors would be bare.

00:07:02,965 --> 00:07:05,217

But, Mom,

the blueprint says

00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:07,594

we need carpeting

in the clubhouse!

00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:09,138

Well, all right.

00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:10,681

Kenny, my mom says you can

go get carpeting

00:07:10,806 --> 00:07:13,392

in the living room now.

- [mumbling]

00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:15,018

And stop your bitchin'!

00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:16,687

[grunts]

00:07:16,812 --> 00:07:18,439

What are you

doing, sweetheart?

00:07:18,564 --> 00:07:19,898

Getting a cookie.

We're building a clubhouse

00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:21,984

and then we're--

- You men are all alike.

00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,153

First you get a cookie and then

you criticize the way I dress

00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:25,654

and then it's the way I cook.

00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:26,697

I suppose next

you'll be telling me

00:07:26,822 --> 00:07:28,240

that you need your space

00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:30,325

and that I'm sabotaging

your creativity.

00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:34,163

Go ahead, Stanley,

get your goddamn cookie!

00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:35,330

'Kay.

00:07:35,456 --> 00:07:37,541

[school bell ringing]

00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:39,751

And so, children,

today we're going to focus

00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:42,129

on American history.

Right, Mr. Twig?

00:07:42,254 --> 00:07:44,548

That's right, Mr. Garrison.

American history is very

00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:47,843

When is Mr. Hat coming back?

- What did you say?

00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,511

When is Mr. Hat coming back?

00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:50,846

I told you to never

to mention that name

00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,181

in my classroom again.

00:07:52,306 --> 00:07:53,932

Mr. Hat is a

two-timing whore,

00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,726

and now we all

learn from Mr. Twig!

00:07:55,851 --> 00:07:57,728

But Mr. Twig sucks.

- [all] Yeah!

00:07:57,853 --> 00:07:59,813

That is enough!

Mr. Hat is gone

00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:02,649

and he isn't coming back!

and I don't want to hear it!

00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:04,526

Anyway, children,

let's turn our history

00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:07,237

textbooks to page 105,

which would be right after...

00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:09,406

So, how's your lameass

clubhouse, Stan?

00:08:09,531 --> 00:08:11,742

Better than yours, fat boy.

- We'll see about that.

00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:13,035

Don't forget you need to

cut school early

00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:14,286

and wait for

the hot tub guy.

00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:15,662

[mumbles]

00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:17,414

Is the clubhouse ready?

- Almost.

00:08:17,539 --> 00:08:19,082

Stan,

are you paying attention?

00:08:19,208 --> 00:08:21,168

Yes, Mr. Garrison.

- Well then, Stanley,

00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:23,712

what did I just say?

00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,464

Um...

00:08:25,589 --> 00:08:27,716

You said that even though

Charo appeared 12 times

00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,384

on "The Love Boat",

the episode with

00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:31,678

"Captain and Tennille"

got higher ratings.

00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:35,766

Well, okay, I suppose

you were paying attention.

00:08:35,891 --> 00:08:37,643

Anyway, children...

- Good guess, dude.

00:08:37,768 --> 00:08:39,478

Phew!

00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:41,522

Psst, pass this up.

00:08:41,647 --> 00:08:42,773

Pass this up.

00:08:42,898 --> 00:08:43,982

Pass this up.

00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:45,817

P-Pass this up.

00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:47,736

Stanley, are you

passing notes to Kyle?

00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:48,779

No, I just

- Don't lie, Stan,

00:08:48,904 --> 00:08:50,239

lying makes you sterile.

00:08:50,364 --> 00:08:51,823

I'm not lying,

someone just handed me--

00:08:51,949 --> 00:08:53,158

Stanley, if you think

it's so important

00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:54,743

to keep interrupting

my class,

00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,537

then why don't you

come up to the front

00:08:56,662 --> 00:08:58,288

and read your note to Kyle

for everyone to hear?

00:08:58,413 --> 00:08:59,873

But I didn't

write the note.

00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:01,833

Mr. Garrison,

Stan's behavior is having

00:09:01,959 --> 00:09:03,835

an adverse affect

on my education.

00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:05,587

Shut up, Cartman!

- Stanley Marsh,

00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,631

you come up here right now

and read your note!

00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,508

Oh, man!

00:09:12,094 --> 00:09:15,514

"Dear Kyle, you have got

such a great ass.

00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:17,516

"I could sleep for days

on those perky cheeks,

00:09:17,641 --> 00:09:19,685

"let me tell you.

I'd like to live with you

00:09:19,810 --> 00:09:22,145

and wear your ass

as a hat for all eternity."

00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:24,606

Whoa, dude!

00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:30,279

Now, young man,

school is a time

00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:33,615

for learning, okay?

Not for immature skylarkings.

00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,033

What's "sky larkings"?

00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:36,577

You know,

like tomfooleries.

00:09:36,702 --> 00:09:37,869

Who?

[knock on door]

00:09:37,995 --> 00:09:39,246

Oh, your

parents are here.

00:09:39,371 --> 00:09:40,998

Oh, no.

- Thank you for coming

00:09:41,123 --> 00:09:43,166

on such short notice.

I was just disciplining

00:09:43,292 --> 00:09:45,002

your son for his sky larkings.

00:09:45,127 --> 00:09:47,754

Stanley, I--

"sky larkings"?

00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:49,506

Okay?

00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:51,174

Stanley, I want you

to explain to me

00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:52,467

why you were

passing notes in school.

00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:54,136

Randy,

let me handle this.

00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:55,846

Now, Stanley,

I want you to explain to me

00:09:55,971 --> 00:09:57,723

why you were

passing notes in school.

00:09:57,848 --> 00:09:59,558

It wasn't my note, dude.

It was some girl's.

00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,560

Okay, Stanley, we're all here

to get to the root

00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:03,228

of your behavior disorder.

00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:04,730

You really should

know better, Stanley.

00:10:04,855 --> 00:10:05,814

You need to

shape up, mister.

00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,274

Don't interrupt me.

00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:08,900

You always interrupt me

when I talk.

00:10:09,026 --> 00:10:10,652

Can't you see that--

--I don't interrupt you.

00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:13,196

There, you did it again.

He interrupted me again.

00:10:13,322 --> 00:10:15,240

Okay, perhaps you should

let your wife

00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:17,701

finish talking, Mr. Marsh.

Now, Stan, I want you to

00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,786

Okay, I'm sorry to interrupt,

but she always

00:10:19,911 --> 00:10:21,955

takes over

any conversation.

00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,541

Uh, taking over

any conversations bad?

00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,710

Like you're one to talk.

When's the last time

00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:28,629

you really listened

to what I had to say?

00:10:28,754 --> 00:10:31,632

Uh, uh, okay.

- When was the last time

00:10:31,757 --> 00:10:33,050

you had anything

interesting to say?

00:10:33,175 --> 00:10:34,926

It's always gossip

and stupid crap.

00:10:35,052 --> 00:10:36,303

Apparently,

we have a bit of a

00:10:36,428 --> 00:10:38,263

communication problem here.

00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:40,182

Mr. Marsh,

tell me how you're feeling.

00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,643

Well, I feel like

everything I do is wrong.

00:10:42,768 --> 00:10:44,144

It doesn't matter what I say.

00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:46,772

Okay, that's valid.

Now, Mrs. Marsh,

00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:47,814

how do you feel?

- Excuse me.

00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:49,524

Like I'm a ghost,

00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,735

like he sees right through me.

- Oh, please!

00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,695

Hello.

- Oh, please, yourself.

00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,489

Who tries to control

the marriage?

00:10:55,614 --> 00:10:57,449

And by that,

I mean who's dominating

00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:58,742

the aspects

of the relationship?

00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:01,119

He is.

- No, she is.

00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:03,538

Oh, I'm sorry,

I guess I'm wrong again!

00:11:03,664 --> 00:11:04,539

Okay...

00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:06,208

Look at it, Kenny.

00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,126

It is the greatest

clubhouse ever built.

00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:09,836

Uhhuh.

- And we built it,

00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:11,338

with our own hands.

00:11:11,463 --> 00:11:12,798

Now all we need

is chicks, Kenny.

00:11:12,923 --> 00:11:14,383

[mumbles] Yeah!

- All right,

00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:16,593

you go find chicks, Kenny.

- [mumbling]

00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:18,053

Because I have

to stay here and work.

00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,888

I still got

to shingle the roof,

00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,932

test the foundation,

run all kinds of inspections,

00:11:22,057 --> 00:11:23,725

I've got way too much to do,

and all you have to do

00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:26,645

is go find chicks.

Now, stop your bitchin'!

00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:31,608

Mom, can I watch

"American Gladiators"?

00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:32,901

Dude, where have you been?

00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,695

I've been waiting

all afternoon.

00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:35,904

I got in trouble

for that note Bebe was trying

00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,447

to pass to you.

- To me?

00:11:37,572 --> 00:11:39,366

I mean, no,

not to you, forget it.

00:11:39,491 --> 00:11:41,034

Come on, dude, we have to

finish our clubhouse quick.

00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:42,369

The girls want to play

Truth or Dare, tomorrow.

00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:46,164

We should use nails, dude.

00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:47,624

My mom won't let us.

00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:49,793

Hi, guys, how's

the clubhouse coming?

00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:51,503

Pretty good,

we're almost done.

00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:53,880

Well hurry, we want to

play Truth or Dare.

00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:55,424

We're going

as fast as we can.

00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:57,718

Kyle, could you

turn around for a second?

00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:03,640

Thank you.

00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:06,059

Come on, dude,

we have to hammer faster.

00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:08,186

Hey, Stan, do you know how

to play Truth or Dare?

00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:09,896

No.

- Well, dude, how the hell

00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:11,314

are we supposed

to play it then?

00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:12,733

I didn't even

think about that!

00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:15,902

...And then they'll

ask, "Truth or Dare?"

00:12:16,027 --> 00:12:18,405

And I say "dare."

- No, no, you say "truth."

00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:19,865

Truth?

But that's boring.

00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:21,408

I want to get

dared to kiss her.

00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:23,201

You have to say truth

the first few times

00:12:23,326 --> 00:12:25,370

or else you'll seem to eager.

- Oh.

00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:27,789

You can't seem to eager.

You got to play it cool.

00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,541

Like you don't even

care what happens.

00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:31,376

Yeah.

Then after a few truths,

00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:33,754

you finally answer "dare."

- Dare!

00:12:33,879 --> 00:12:37,215

But not like that, son.

Like this:

00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,009

[slowly]

Dare...

00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:40,886

Oh.

And then her little friend

00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:42,596

will dare you to kiss Wendy.

00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:43,930

You really think so?

- Of course she will.

00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:45,474

They're women.

00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:46,850

They've had this

whole thing planned out

00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,769

months ahead of time.

- Wow!

00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:52,022

[upbeat music on TV]

00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:55,233

Hey, hey, hey,

what's going down, y'all?

00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:56,485

Man, Fat Abbot,

what are you doing

00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:57,944

on this side of the hood?

00:12:58,069 --> 00:12:59,654

You know something, Rudy,

00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:01,531

you're like school

in summertime.

00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:03,241

School in summertime?

00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:05,160

Yeah, bitch.

School in summertime.

00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,661

Open your

[bleep] ears [bleep]

00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:08,663

or I'll pop your

bitchass.

00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:11,249

I'lla popa youra bitcha

assa tooba, bitcha.

00:13:11,374 --> 00:13:13,251

What the hell is

going on in this cartoon?

00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:15,545

[doorbell rings]

00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:16,713

Oh, hey, Kenny,

did you find any chicks

00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:17,964

to come to the clubhouse?

00:13:18,089 --> 00:13:19,466

Uh-huh.

00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:21,092

Hi, we ran

away from home.

00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:22,844

Like, this kid told us

we might be able to

00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:24,596

crash at your clubhouse

for a couple of days.

00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:26,807

Holy crap!

00:13:26,932 --> 00:13:30,060

Behold, Ewok Village 2000!

00:13:30,185 --> 00:13:32,062

Oh, well, I guess

it beats living at home.

00:13:32,187 --> 00:13:35,482

Can I offer you ladies a cool

beverage or a tasty snack?

00:13:37,359 --> 00:13:39,236

[phone ringing]

Hello?

00:13:39,361 --> 00:13:40,487

How's the clubhouse coming,

Stan?

00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:42,030

We're working on it.

00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,698

Well,

I just thought I'd tell you

00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:45,700

that me and Kenny

have finished our clubhouse,

00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:46,993

and we already

have chicks over.

00:13:47,118 --> 00:13:48,578

No, you don't.

00:13:48,703 --> 00:13:50,455

[girls laughing

in the background]

00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:52,165

Dude!

- It's only a matter of time

00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:53,792

before we're playing

Truth or Dare with them.

00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:55,585

Good luck with your

pieceofcrap clubhouse.

00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:57,128

Asshole!

- Fat ass, fat hunk of fat.

00:13:57,254 --> 00:13:58,672

Mom,

will you please ask Dad

00:13:58,797 --> 00:14:00,006

to come help me

build my clubhouse?

00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:01,591

Stanley,

I think you should know

00:14:01,716 --> 00:14:03,009

that your father

has moved out.

00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:04,469

What!

Why?

00:14:04,594 --> 00:14:06,471

Because...

We're divorced, Stanley.

00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:08,265

Divorced, oh no!

00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:10,308

Does that mean you and Dad

don't love me anymore?

00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:12,269

This is all my fault,

isn't it?

00:14:12,394 --> 00:14:14,229

Yeah, kind of.

00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,106

Dude, you're not

supposed to say that.

00:14:16,231 --> 00:14:18,692

But I would like you to

meet your new stepfather, Roy.

00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:20,402

Hello, son.

- What?!

00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,320

I'll leave you two alone

to get acquainted.

00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:24,114

Hello, Stanley.

I know this must be

00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:25,866

a very difficult period

for you right now,

00:14:25,991 --> 00:14:27,701

and the adjustment is

going to take some time,

00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:29,286

but I'd like

to be your friend.

00:14:29,411 --> 00:14:31,121

So when you're ready,

I want you to feel free

00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:33,164

to come to me with

anything you might need,

00:14:33,290 --> 00:14:35,250

whether it's advice or just

someone to play catch with.

00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:36,751

You can count on me.

00:14:36,877 --> 00:14:38,378

This is happening

way too fast.

00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:40,046

Oh, Jesus,

when are you going to cut me

00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:42,340

some slack, huh?

I have taken you under my wing

00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:44,217

and done my best,

and all you ever do

00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:46,094

is whine and moan about it!

Now, for the last time,

00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,513

go cut some firewood!

00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:51,975

...So I'm on my way

out the door and she goes,

00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:53,852

"Make sure you're

home before midnight."

00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:55,437

Oh, that's weak.

- And I go,

00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:56,938

"Listen, bitch,

I don't need my mother

00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,732

giving me no curfew."

- That's killer.

00:14:58,857 --> 00:15:00,984

And she goes, "If you're

not home before midnight,

00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:02,444

don't bother

coming home at all."

00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:03,987

That's totally weak.

- So I go,

00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:05,655

"Fine, I won't come home."

- Sweet.

00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:07,741

And then she goes,

"Fine don't come home."

00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:10,076

Getting all in my face and crap

and acting all tough and crap.

00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:11,870

- Killer weak sweet.

I'm 16,

00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:13,997

I should be able to do

what I want, when I want.

00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:16,166

I don't need her breathing down

my neck every two seconds

00:15:16,291 --> 00:15:17,959

telling me what

I can and cannot do.

00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:19,794

I had the same thing

with my mom the other day.

00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:22,797

I'm all like, "Hey,

I'm not a little kid anymore.

00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:25,675

"Mom, I'm eight years old,

and if I want to finger paint,

00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,719

then I'm going

to finger paint!"

00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:32,015

Okay, we're done.

00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:34,267

Dude, I don't think

this is very sturdy.

00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:35,769

It doesn't matter, dude.

It only has to last

00:15:35,894 --> 00:15:37,187

long enough to play

Truth or Dare.

00:15:37,312 --> 00:15:38,396

I'm going to go

get the girls.

00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:42,192

Okay.

[humming]

00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:45,028

Oh!

- Stanley, it's time to go!

00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:46,905

Go where?

- Your bastard father

00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:49,032

has visitation rights,

and this is his time with you.

00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:50,408

But, nah, I have to go

get the girls to come--

00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:51,993

Come on, Stanley.

- Weak!

00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:55,956

Dad?

- Hey, Stanley, hop in.

00:15:56,081 --> 00:15:57,874

Listen, Stanley,

I know all this change

00:15:57,999 --> 00:16:00,251

must be tough on you,

but your mother and I thought

00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:01,962

it'd be best for all of us

if we split up.

00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:03,338

But I don't understand

why we have to--

00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,090

Well hello, ladies!

00:16:05,215 --> 00:16:07,968

Hi, handsome, we're gonna

be at Larry's Bar tonight.

00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:10,512

I'm already there.

[clicks tongue]

00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,472

What were we talking about?

Oh, yeah.

00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:14,766

See, your mother and I still

care about you and your sister,

00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:17,060

but we just don't like being

around each other anymore.

00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:18,603

Well, I don't like being

around my sister anymore,

00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:20,105

does that mean I can

leave her, too?

00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:21,773

Well, no,

because you're family,

00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:23,775

you can't just leave family.

You have stick

00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:25,819

with family no matter what.

But you and mom are family,

00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:28,238

how come you can just split up?

00:16:28,363 --> 00:16:30,156

You know what I think?

I think that when you and mom

00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:32,117

got married, you became family

and now that you are,

00:16:32,242 --> 00:16:33,952

you shouldn't be able

to leave her any more than

00:16:34,077 --> 00:16:36,788

I can leave my sister.

Oh, Stan, you're so young.

00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:38,581

You just don't get it.

00:16:38,707 --> 00:16:40,542

Well anyway, have a nice day.

- What, that's it?

00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,585

Yeah, but I loved

our time together.

00:16:42,711 --> 00:16:44,337

I hate to see it end,

go on, get out.

00:16:44,462 --> 00:16:45,880

You know that nothing

is more important to me

00:16:46,006 --> 00:16:47,924

than you, right, Stan?

- I guess, but--

00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:55,974

The girls are gonna be here

to play Truth or Dare any minute.

00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:57,475

Stan, if I didn't

know you better,

00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,185

I'd almost think

you're doing this because

00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:00,770

you want to play with girls.

- No way, dude.

00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:02,272

Don't be silly.

- Come on, Wendy!

00:17:02,397 --> 00:17:03,940

We have to say "truth"

a couple of times

00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:05,442

before we say "dare", right?

- Right, why?

00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:06,735

Because if we don't,

we'll seem too eager.

00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:07,986

Too eager to what?

00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:09,571

To say dare,

dumbass, geez.

00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:11,072

Hi guys.

00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:12,741

Oh, hi, Wendy,

what's up?

00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:14,117

Don't you guys still

want to play Truth or Dare?

00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:15,827

Yeah!

I mean...Sure, whatever.

00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:17,328

Then come on!

00:17:17,454 --> 00:17:18,955

Remember truth the

first couple of times.

00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,540

Okay.

- Who wants to go first?

00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:22,542

I will. Kyle?

- Yeah?

00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:25,086

Truth or Dare?

- Um, dare?

00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:26,171

Dude!

- What?

00:17:26,296 --> 00:17:27,547

[whispering indistinctly]

00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:29,257

Kiss Bebe on the lips.

00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:30,425

What? Sick, dude!

I'm not kissing a girl!

00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:31,843

What's the matter, Kyle?

00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:33,511

It's just wrong,

that's all!

00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:35,138

Don't be a chicken, dude.

Just close your eyes.

00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:36,514

What the hell have

you gotten me into!

00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:38,058

Dude, Cartman

is in his clubhouse

00:17:38,183 --> 00:17:39,392

playing Truth or Dare

with girls right now.

00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:41,478

Do you really want him

to beat us?

00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:44,814

Oh, boy.

00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:50,820

Sick!

Ah, fucking sickening!

00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:53,573

Wow, look at that ass.

Shake it, baby!

00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:55,241

Your turn, Bebe.

00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:57,452

Okay, Stan, Truth or Dare?

00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:02,707

Stan, Truth or Dare?

00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:04,834

[slowly] Dare.

00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:07,295

Son, could you please come

help me with the firewood?

00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,422

Dude, we cut firewood

all day yesterday.

00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:11,007

We have enough

to last 12 years.

00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:13,551

When will you let me in,

let me love you!

00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:16,054

Now get your ass

out here and help me.

00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:17,555

Bye, Stan.

Hopefully we can play

00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,474

Truth or Dare tomorrow.

- Crap!

00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,351

I think you should be

able to move out

00:18:21,476 --> 00:18:22,977

legally when you're 14.

00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:24,229

Our moms won't even

let us smoke.

00:18:24,354 --> 00:18:26,231

Yeah, it's my body.

00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:28,525

My mom always gives me shit

for smoking, but it's my body.

00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:30,193

I should be able to do

whatever I want with it.

00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:33,238

Totally. My mom gives

me shit sometimes,

00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:34,614

and I tell her to

shut her hole

00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:36,241

before I kick her in the nuts.

00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:38,243

Eric, Pookums,

it's time for mommy

00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:40,870

to tuck you into your

snuggle bed for nightnight.

00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:43,665

Eric, are you out there

in your clubhouse?

00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,834

[timidly] Coming, Mom.

00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:47,335

Okay, we have to play

Truth or Dare, quick!

00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:48,419

What's up?

- Hey, girls.

00:18:48,545 --> 00:18:49,546

Oh, hey, Scott.

00:18:49,671 --> 00:18:50,964

Who the hell are you?

00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:52,549

Oh, we invited

some people over.

00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:54,759

- Hope you don't mind.

- How many people?

00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:56,636

Kyle, can I talk to you?

- Okay.

00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:58,972

Kyle, this is

very difficult for me.

00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:00,765

I think we need time apart.

- Huh?

00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:02,350

I'm just feeling

really trapped.

00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,018

I can't go on with

this codependency.

00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:06,271

Okay, that's fine.

- No, no, don't speak.

00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:08,398

Just try and understand.

It has to be this way.

00:19:08,523 --> 00:19:10,150

[muffled]

But I don't care.

00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:11,818

Please, just remember

the good times we had.

00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:14,696

I'll never forget you.

Never.

00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,865

Okay, Clyde, we can go now.

- Bitchin'.

00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:20,076

These are cafe curtains

that require no sewing

00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:22,495

and I know

you all love that!

00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:23,997

Do you mind

if I watch cartoons?

00:19:24,122 --> 00:19:25,748

I've had a rough day.

[grumbles]

00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:27,542

What?

- Chores. Do chores.

00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:28,918

My dad lets me

watch cartoons.

00:19:29,043 --> 00:19:30,837

Well, I'm not your dad,

okay?

00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:32,714

I'm not your dad!

00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:35,466

You can't just go around

playing games with my emotions.

00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:36,968

[crying]

- Stanley,

00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:38,511

what did you do to Roy?

00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:39,888

Roy's a dick.

He ruined my chances

00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:41,389

with Wendy in the clubhouse.

00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:42,891

[sighs] Stanley,

you know you're the most

00:19:43,016 --> 00:19:44,809

important thing to me, right?

00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:46,644

If that's true, then get back

together with Dad for me.

00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:48,855

Now, Stanley, you have to

understand how divorce works.

00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:51,024

When I say you're the most

important thing to me,

00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:53,359

what I mean is, you're the most

important thing after me,

00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:55,153

and my happiness

and my new romances.

00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:57,238

Oh.

- Bye now. Roy?

00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:58,740

Divorce is stupid.

00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:01,326

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, Yolanda,

00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:03,870

why's your eye all black

and blue and [beep]?

00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:06,748

Man, Fat Abbot, my stepdad

popped me in my eye.

00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:09,500

Stepdad?

You got to off his ass.

00:20:09,626 --> 00:20:11,211

Really?

- Yeah, bitch!

00:20:11,336 --> 00:20:13,379

Snatch his ass

in a bear trap.

00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:15,924

Leave that [beep] swinging

from a tree so high,

00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:17,842

nobody finds him for days.

00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:19,886

Glockglock,

you know what I'm saying?

00:20:20,011 --> 00:20:22,305

Dumbass, [bleep]

pulling [bleep], damn!

00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:24,057

You're right,

Fat Abbot, thanks!

00:20:24,182 --> 00:20:26,726

No problem, ho'.

Maybe later you can

00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:29,270

suck my [bleep],

bitch ho' [bleep].

00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:31,105

Well, Fat Abbot

and the gang sure did

00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:32,774

learn something today.

00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:34,692

If you have a stepdad

riding your ass,

00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:36,444

just snatch his ass

in a bear trap.

00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,196

Crack, no more stepdad.

00:20:38,321 --> 00:20:40,114

See you next time,

eating the pudding.

00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:43,910

Yeah, yeah, I think I'll

write a little note for Roy.

00:20:44,035 --> 00:20:47,038

[cheering, loud music]

00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:52,377

Hey, kid, give me

some of those.

00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:54,295

Hey, when are we

gonna play Truth or Dare?

00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:56,130

What?

That game's for kids.

00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:58,800

This is bullcrap!

- Oh, boy, it's getting late.

00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:00,134

I'm gonna have

to leave this party.

00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:01,511

This sucks, Kenny.

00:21:01,636 --> 00:21:03,054

I wish we'd never

built a clubhouse.

00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:05,348

[thrash metal plays]

Mosh pit!

00:21:05,473 --> 00:21:07,892

Hmm?

[overlapping shouting]

00:21:10,353 --> 00:21:12,272

Oh, my God,

they killed Kenny!

00:21:12,397 --> 00:21:14,607

You bastards!

00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:19,445

Stanley, your father is

coming over for visitation.

00:21:19,570 --> 00:21:21,281

Stan?

00:21:21,406 --> 00:21:23,741

"Meet me in

the clubhouse."

00:21:25,743 --> 00:21:29,539

Sharon, Sharon, have you seen

my copy of "Harper's"?

00:21:29,664 --> 00:21:31,791

"Meet me at the clubhouse."

00:21:33,668 --> 00:21:36,504

Oh, Randy, what are

you doing here?

00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:38,464

I, uh, got a note

from Stanley

00:21:38,589 --> 00:21:40,049

to come out

to the clubhouse.

00:21:40,174 --> 00:21:41,676

Oh, I thought

that note was for me.

00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:43,386

Oh, maybe it was.

00:21:43,511 --> 00:21:45,054

Well, it looks like

our little Stanley

00:21:45,179 --> 00:21:47,473

has built himself

quite a clubhouse here.

00:21:47,598 --> 00:21:49,183

I remember not too long ago

we were just kids

00:21:49,309 --> 00:21:51,352

playing kissing games

in my clubhouse.

00:21:53,563 --> 00:21:54,480

Good night.

00:21:54,605 --> 00:21:56,065

Sharon?

- Yes?

00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:57,859

Truth or Dare.

- It's too late for games.

00:21:57,984 --> 00:21:59,902

No, I'm serious, please.

Truth or Dare?

00:22:00,028 --> 00:22:01,779

Truth.

- Do you still love me?

00:22:01,904 --> 00:22:04,782

Oh, Randy, I do love you,

but now I'm so confused.

00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:06,242

I'm living with Roy,

and I don't know

00:22:06,367 --> 00:22:07,744

how to

break it off with him.

00:22:07,869 --> 00:22:10,121

Sharon?

[screams]

00:22:10,246 --> 00:22:11,539

Well, you never know.

00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:12,665

Maybe things will work out.

00:22:12,790 --> 00:22:14,042

Hello?

- Maybe.

00:22:14,167 --> 00:22:16,127

I guess it's my turn.

- Truth or Dare?

00:22:16,252 --> 00:22:17,795

Sharon?

[slowly] Dare...

00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:20,757

Do me,

right here in the clubhouse.

00:22:20,882 --> 00:22:23,092

Hello, hello?

00:22:23,217 --> 00:22:24,677

Can somebody cut me--

Hello?

00:22:24,802 --> 00:22:27,055

Wow, clubhouses are magical.

00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:33,728

Okay, it's my turn.

Stan, Truth or Dare?

00:22:37,190 --> 00:22:38,399

[slowly] Dare.

00:22:38,524 --> 00:22:40,943

[whispering indistinctly]

00:22:41,069 --> 00:22:44,739

Take this stick

and jam it up your peehole.

00:22:46,157 --> 00:22:47,909

What!?

- Wow, that sucks!

00:22:48,034 --> 00:22:49,035

Do you think it'll hurt?

00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,829

Hello?

00:22:51,954 --> 00:22:54,957

I sure am hungry.

00:22:55,083 --> 00:22:57,502

Anybody?

00:22:57,627 --> 00:23:00,838

It certainly does

suck right here.

00:23:00,963 --> 00:23:02,423

Hello?

00:23:02,548 --> 00:23:05,343

Sh-Sh-Sharon?

00:23:05,468 --> 00:23:08,888

Sharon, hello?