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Лето — отстой
Summer Sucks
Сезон: 02Серия: 08
Описание
Наступило лето, и мистер Гаррисон потерял мистера Шляпу. По всему штату вводят запрет на фейерверки, и городские власти пытаются придумать что-нибудь вместо них.
Субтитры
- 00:00:01,836 --> 00:00:04,505 Wow. What a great episode.
- 00:00:04,630 --> 00:00:05,756 And look, Trey, our bacon is cooked just right--
- 00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:07,800 not too soggy, not too crisp.
- 00:00:07,925 --> 00:00:09,927 Well, I've got the bread and French dressing all prepared.
- 00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:12,388 So we remove the bacon...
- 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,140 like so.
- 00:00:14,265 --> 00:00:17,727 Then we cover sparingly with French dressing...
- 00:00:17,852 --> 00:00:20,563 put on the other slice of bread...
- 00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:23,107 and garnish.
- 00:00:23,232 --> 00:00:24,900 Doesn't that look great?
- 00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:30,281 Mmm. Mmm!
- 00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:31,699 Hey, let's give some to Macon.
- 00:00:31,824 --> 00:00:33,325 Mm-hmm.
- 00:00:33,451 --> 00:00:35,453 Macon likes his with extra bacon.
- 00:00:35,578 --> 00:00:37,580 Here you go, buddy. Yeah!
- 00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:41,000 Wow. Macon's really taken to the bacon if I'm not mistaken.
- 00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:46,922 Well, now it's time to watch our favorite episode
- 00:00:47,048 --> 00:00:48,883 of "South Park"-- it's called "Summer Sucks."
- 00:00:49,008 --> 00:00:51,510 That's right, it's all about that one week in the year
- 00:00:51,635 --> 00:00:53,721 when summer actually comes to South Park
- 00:00:53,846 --> 00:00:55,347 and all the snow melts.
- 00:00:55,473 --> 00:00:57,183 This episode has a special guest appearance
- 00:00:57,308 --> 00:01:00,102 by Jonathan Katz of "Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist."
- 00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:03,522 Well, sit back, relax, and enjoy "Summer Sucks."
- 00:01:16,452 --> 00:01:17,912 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:01:18,037 --> 00:01:19,622 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:21,332 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:01:21,457 --> 00:01:23,250 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:24,710 - ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
- 00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:26,378 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:01:26,504 --> 00:01:28,089 - ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:01:28,214 --> 00:01:29,882 ♪ People spouting: "Howdy neighbor!" ♪
- 00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:31,383 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
- 00:01:31,509 --> 00:01:32,676 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:37,973 - ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:01:38,099 --> 00:01:40,434 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:43,521 Okay, children,
- 00:01:43,646 --> 00:01:45,356 I know that today is the last day of school
- 00:01:45,481 --> 00:01:47,942 and that the last day of school involves pranks,
- 00:01:48,067 --> 00:01:49,568 but this is going too far.
- 00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:51,904 Now, what have you done with Mr. Hat?
- 00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:55,783 Children, I want Mr. Hat back right now!
- 00:01:55,908 --> 00:01:57,201 The prank is over!
- 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,997 You think I can't get along without Mr. Hat, don't you?
- 00:02:02,123 --> 00:02:03,457 You think I can't live without him.
- 00:02:03,582 --> 00:02:04,750 Well, I can. He's just a puppet.
- 00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:05,960 I don't need him.
- 00:02:06,085 --> 00:02:08,504 You see, watch.
- 00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:17,805 God damn it, where the did you put Mr. Hat?
- 00:02:19,223 --> 00:02:20,808 Oh, no, you don't.
- 00:02:20,933 --> 00:02:22,393 The school year's over,
- 00:02:22,518 --> 00:02:23,644 but summer vacation doesn't start
- 00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:25,146 for you little bastards
- 00:02:25,271 --> 00:02:27,064 until Mr. Hat is back on my desk.
- 00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:28,816 Now, I'm gonna turn around,
- 00:02:28,941 --> 00:02:30,609 and when I turn back, I expect to see
- 00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:32,778 Mr. Hat lying right here.
- 00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:34,196 Okay.
- 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,657 I'm gonna turn around now.
- 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,369 Shit! - Where did everybody go?
- 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:43,372 Hooray! - Summer!
- 00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:47,793 Oh, golly, Kevin, honey!
- 00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,837 - Good to see you again, son.
- 00:02:53,549 --> 00:02:55,426 - Looks like winter's right around the corner.
- 00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:57,094 Better get some firewood ready.
- 00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:04,351 Oh, happy summer, gentlemen. - Shut up, Pip.
- 00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:06,896 Righto. Enjoy some of the summer for me, would you?
- 00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:08,856 What do you mean? - Well, I have to spend
- 00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:10,441 my summer in summer school because I can't be left alone.
- 00:03:10,566 --> 00:03:12,902 You see, my parents are dead.
- 00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:14,028 Your parents are dead?
- 00:03:14,153 --> 00:03:15,529 Goddamn, you suck, Pip.
- 00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,035 Oh, yeah, dude. It's summer.
- 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:22,786 That means we gotta buy fireworks.
- 00:03:22,912 --> 00:03:24,997 I saved up enough money to buy M-80s this year.
- 00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:26,665 I saw this movie once where this guy stuck
- 00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:28,584 a firecracker up a cat's butt.
- 00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,294 Cool, maybe we can do that to Cartman's cat.
- 00:03:30,419 --> 00:03:32,880 Hey! If you so much as touch Kitty's ass,
- 00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:34,882 I'll put firecrackers in your nut sack
- 00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:36,759 and blow your balls all over your pants.
- 00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:40,429 Jesus, Cartman.
- 00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:43,891 - Hi, fellas. - Hi, Stu.
- 00:03:44,016 --> 00:03:45,684 What can I do for you? - We want to buy M-80s.
- 00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:47,311 The kind that fit in Cartman's cat's ass.
- 00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:49,063 Okay, that's it!
- 00:03:49,188 --> 00:03:52,358 Screw you guys, I'm going home. - What a baby.
- 00:03:52,483 --> 00:03:53,943 So we'll have ten M-80s please.
- 00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:55,402 I'm sorry, fellas.
- 00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:57,071 Haven't you heard? - Heard what?
- 00:03:57,196 --> 00:03:58,364 All fireworks have been banned in Colorado.
- 00:03:58,489 --> 00:03:59,907 What do you mean?
- 00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:01,659 It was in the paper this morning.
- 00:04:01,784 --> 00:04:03,410 Dude, just 'cause some stupid North Park kid
- 00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:04,912 blew his hands off, we don't get to buy M-80s?
- 00:04:05,037 --> 00:04:06,705 Right. - How can they do this to us?
- 00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:08,791 Doesn't anyone believe in tradition anymore?
- 00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:11,502 Yeah, we've been playing with firecrackers our whole lives.
- 00:04:16,090 --> 00:04:17,716 Killed Kenny.
- 00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:19,593 - Oo bastards.
- 00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,513 A summer without fireworks is like...
- 00:04:22,638 --> 00:04:24,723 I don't know, but it's like it sucks ass.
- 00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:27,309 Yeah, now what are we supposed to do?
- 00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,645 I can still sell snakes.
- 00:04:33,649 --> 00:04:35,526 This is absurd, we need fireworks
- 00:04:35,651 --> 00:04:38,028 for our Fourth of July celebration at the lake.
- 00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:40,322 I don't care that some twerp blew his hands off.
- 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:43,117 We've got to have fireworks for our picnic!
- 00:04:43,242 --> 00:04:44,743 Hold on, I've got another call.
- 00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:47,121 Hello? No, I don't know where Mr. Hat is.
- 00:04:47,246 --> 00:04:49,331 Jesus, Garrison, I've got bigger problems.
- 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,125 Hello, yes... now, what am I supposed to do
- 00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:52,960 about our Fourth of July show at the lake?
- 00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:55,129 No, I don't want snakes.
- 00:04:55,254 --> 00:04:56,547 This is an outrage.
- 00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:57,756 Get me the mayor!
- 00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,341 I know that, smartass.
- 00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:01,093 I was being ironic.
- 00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:02,970 I'm sorry, Mayor, but I couldn't find
- 00:05:03,095 --> 00:05:04,555 the little man in the boat.
- 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,098 Well, keep looking.
- 00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:07,850 This is ridiculous.
- 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:10,144 We can't have a celebration without fireworks.
- 00:05:10,269 --> 00:05:12,688 Whoever heard of a Fourth of July picnic with snakes?
- 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,273 I like snakes.
- 00:05:14,398 --> 00:05:16,442 You light 'em, and they grow and grow.
- 00:05:16,567 --> 00:05:19,695 Wait a minute, that's it! I've got it!
- 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,573 This Fourth of July, South Park will make history
- 00:05:22,698 --> 00:05:25,200 by having the largest snake in the world!
- 00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:26,994 The press will love it.
- 00:05:27,119 --> 00:05:28,579 I'll be on the front p-- ooh...
- 00:05:28,704 --> 00:05:30,164 Oh, I found him.
- 00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:34,335 Man, it's hot out here.
- 00:05:34,460 --> 00:05:35,627 What do you guys want to do?
- 00:05:35,753 --> 00:05:37,254 We have the whole summer to play.
- 00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:38,839 Dude, what are we supposed to do?
- 00:05:38,964 --> 00:05:40,382 We always just played with fireworks.
- 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,593 I know, let's go sledding. - Yeah.
- 00:05:42,718 --> 00:05:44,386 Come on, Cartman, get on. - Stan?
- 00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:46,055 Let's go, dude, we're ready.
- 00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:47,097 What the hell you waiting for, Cartman?
- 00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:48,557 - Guys, don't you notice
- 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,142 anything wrong with this picture?
- 00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:51,477 Yeah, your fat ass isn't on the sled.
- 00:05:51,602 --> 00:05:53,020 Ugh. Whatever.
- 00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:57,483 What the hell's going on?
- 00:05:57,608 --> 00:05:59,526 Hey, there, boys. - Hi, Uncle Jimbo.
- 00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:01,737 How come you're not blowing things up, it's summer!
- 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,364 Didn't you hear? They outlawed fireworks
- 00:06:03,489 --> 00:06:04,656 'cause a little boy blew off his hands.
- 00:06:04,782 --> 00:06:06,116 What?! - Yeah, they're not even
- 00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:07,618 having 'em at the lake this year.
- 00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:09,036 Oh, my God. Well, don't worry, boys.
- 00:06:09,161 --> 00:06:11,622 Uncle Jimbo is on the case.
- 00:06:11,747 --> 00:06:12,873 Buckle your seatbelt, Ned.
- 00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:14,416 - Mm, where are we going?
- 00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:15,959 Mexico, my amigo.
- 00:06:16,085 --> 00:06:17,795 Mm, why are we going to Mexico?
- 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:19,380 To buy fireworks.
- 00:06:19,505 --> 00:06:21,340 Just 'cause some kid blew off his hands
- 00:06:21,465 --> 00:06:22,966 doesn't mean the rest of us have to suffer, now does it?
- 00:06:23,092 --> 00:06:25,260 Are fireworks legal in Mexico?
- 00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:27,054 Hell, everything's legal in Mexico.
- 00:06:27,179 --> 00:06:28,430 It's the American way.
- 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,934 At the Dyno-Might Firework Company,
- 00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:34,061 we have a commitment to excellence.
- 00:06:34,186 --> 00:06:35,979 Our focus is on safety, while the--
- 00:06:36,105 --> 00:06:37,689 Just cut to the chase and tell us about the snake!
- 00:06:37,815 --> 00:06:38,857 Oh, okay.
- 00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:44,655 Now, the disk that we're making is approximately
- 00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:47,282 5,000 times bigger than the average snake.
- 00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:49,201 Ooh!
- 00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:50,828 We'll have to fly it in with three Comanche helicopters
- 00:06:50,953 --> 00:06:52,538 and lower it onto the ground at the lake.
- 00:06:52,663 --> 00:06:54,081 "Comanche helicopters"...
- 00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:56,083 Then we'll need 57 flamethrowers
- 00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:57,876 all set up around the perimeter of the disk
- 00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:00,170 that are all triggered to fire at the same time.
- 00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:02,714 - "Flamethrowers, triggered at the same time."
- 00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:05,467 Once lit, the snake will grow.
- 00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:07,886 And good times will be had by all.
- 00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:09,680 Wonderful. - Spectacular.
- 00:07:09,805 --> 00:07:11,515 Well, you see, fireworks at the lake
- 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,308 will not only go on but perhaps be the best ever.
- 00:07:13,434 --> 00:07:14,893 Wait a minute, we're gonna need an orchestra
- 00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:16,645 to play "The Stars and Stripes."
- 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,730 Hey, how about the elementary school orchestra?
- 00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:20,190 They did a great version of "Mary Had a Little Lamb"
- 00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:21,942 at their last concert.
- 00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:23,777 Yes, get the school principal on the phone,
- 00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:25,487 and we need somebody to dress up like Uncle Remus.
- 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,030 Mayor, I think you mean Uncle Sam.
- 00:07:27,156 --> 00:07:29,324 - Of course I do, you asshole!
- 00:07:32,244 --> 00:07:33,996 ♪ Dusty the dirt ball ♪
- 00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,956 Why does everything have to suck so bad in summer?
- 00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,458 Hey, look, it's Mr. Garrison.
- 00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:38,542 - Hello, children.
- 00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:40,461 How is your summer going?
- 00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:42,296 Summer sucks ass, Mr. Garrison.
- 00:07:42,421 --> 00:07:43,630 - Hey, have you found Mr. Hat yet?
- 00:07:43,755 --> 00:07:45,132 Oh, oh, that old thing?
- 00:07:45,257 --> 00:07:47,509 I almost forgot he was gone.
- 00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:49,052 I don't need Mr. Hat.
- 00:07:49,178 --> 00:07:50,679 That's good.
- 00:07:52,264 --> 00:07:53,932 Mr. Hat is just a puppet.
- 00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,684 Yup.
- 00:07:57,853 --> 00:07:59,855 Mr. Hat isn't real. - Right.
- 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:04,359 Hey, you guys, my mom signed me up
- 00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:05,486 for swimming lessons at the community pool.
- 00:08:05,611 --> 00:08:07,029 You want to come?
- 00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:08,739 Swimming lessons?
- 00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:10,032 Dude, that is the lamest thing I've ever heard.
- 00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:11,825 It is not! - Everyone knows
- 00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:13,327 that the first graders pee in the community pool.
- 00:08:13,452 --> 00:08:14,495 Yeah, Cartman, you're swimming around
- 00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:15,913 in first grader pee.
- 00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:16,914 I'm not swimming around in pee!
- 00:08:17,039 --> 00:08:18,499 Whatever, dude.
- 00:08:18,624 --> 00:08:20,000 - My mom says if I take swimming lessons,
- 00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:21,335 I can be in the Olympics someday.
- 00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:23,170 - Yeah, the Fat-Ass Olympics.
- 00:08:23,295 --> 00:08:24,630 - I am trying to make the best of a bad situation!
- 00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:26,340 I don't need to hear crap
- 00:08:26,465 --> 00:08:27,799 from a bunch of hippie freaks living in denial!
- 00:08:27,925 --> 00:08:30,928 Screw you guys, I'm going home.
- 00:08:31,053 --> 00:08:32,221 But, Cartman, we're trying--
- 00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:34,598 No, screw you guys, home.
- 00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,683 What does he mean, living in denial?
- 00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:39,186 Dude, it's Cartman, he's just being a dumb-ass like always.
- 00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:40,437 - There, how does that look?
- 00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:41,939 Like a big hunk of dirt
- 00:08:42,064 --> 00:08:42,940 with a carrot sticking out of it.
- 00:08:43,065 --> 00:08:44,816 Ah, crap.
- 00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:50,113 Okay, kids, everyone in the pool.
- 00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:53,283 Come on, Eric, we're gonna start now.
- 00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:54,993 Nuh-uh! - Just jump in.
- 00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:56,328 I don't wanna.
- 00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:57,329 It's not gonna hurt you, hon.
- 00:08:57,454 --> 00:08:58,622 Just do it.
- 00:09:01,959 --> 00:09:03,544 There you go.
- 00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:04,795 Now, just let the first graders swim by you,
- 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:05,921 and then head towards us.
- 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,507 - Huh, first graders?
- 00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:11,885 Aw, weak! Weak!
- 00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:13,303 Ah, you sons of bitches!
- 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:20,852 - Where the hell is our firework?
- 00:09:20,978 --> 00:09:22,312 We only have 24 hours.
- 00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:23,564 I'm sure it'll be here any second.
- 00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:25,566 Shut up! - Copy that.
- 00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:28,235 - Okay, children, I'm sure we're a little rusty.
- 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:29,945 Where's Eric Cartman?
- 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,446 He's taking swimming lessons. - Oh, dear.
- 00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:32,906 How are we supposed to sound good
- 00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:34,700 without our French horn section?
- 00:09:34,825 --> 00:09:35,826 Well, let's try some scales first.
- 00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:37,536 C scale first. And...
- 00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:44,835 Okay, that was pretty good.
- 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:46,920 Let's play Mozart's "Symphony No. 5."
- 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,050 Oh, we're doomed... our Fourth of July celebration
- 00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:53,844 is going to have no fireworks and a bunch of tone-deaf
- 00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:56,221 little playing-- wait a minute.
- 00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:57,306 It's the snake!
- 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,437 Let's move along, people.
- 00:10:03,562 --> 00:10:06,398 If you've seen one giant snake thingy firework,
- 00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:07,983 you've seen 'em all.
- 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,693 - Call everybody. The show's back on.
- 00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:11,111 Come on, we've only got one day to prepare!
- 00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:15,866 <i>Buenos días, mi amigo.</i>
- 00:10:15,991 --> 00:10:18,452 <i>Yo soy una Americana spectacular.</i>
- 00:10:18,577 --> 00:10:20,287 <i>- Que?</i>
- 00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:22,748 <i>Yo necesito el fireworko spectacularrr.</i>
- 00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:27,294 <i>No moleste el gato spectacularrr.</i>
- 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:30,255 Would you look at that, Ned?
- 00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:32,299 That's a Tijuana bottle rocket.
- 00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:33,884 These babies have enough power to blast a fire hole
- 00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:35,135 right through the ozone.
- 00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:36,887 They're spectacularrr.
- 00:10:37,012 --> 00:10:39,097 Ned, it's our job to get these to children
- 00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:41,308 all over America for the Fourth of July.
- 00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:43,602 We'll be like Santa Claus on Christmas morning.
- 00:10:43,727 --> 00:10:44,603 <i>Bueno.</i>
- 00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:52,486 Hello? <i>- Hello, is Mr. Hat there?</i>
- 00:10:52,611 --> 00:10:55,113 Is this some kind of joke? <i>- Yes.</i>
- 00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:56,323 You go to hell!
- 00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:57,699 You go to hell and you die!
- 00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,701 I'm gonna find out who you are.
- 00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:01,620 <i>I don't think you can, mm-kay?</i>
- 00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:03,038 God damn it!
- 00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:06,792 So, Lamb Chop, what would you like to do today?
- 00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:08,835 Well, I'd like to sing you a song.
- 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:12,089 Hey, let's sing one together.
- 00:11:12,214 --> 00:11:14,925 ♪ As long as we're together we can do anything ♪
- 00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:17,636 ♪ We can take on the whole darn world ♪
- 00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:19,930 ♪ We're happy as clams with plenty of pearls ♪
- 00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:22,432 ♪ Through thick and thin, we've always been together ♪
- 00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:29,189 No, Lamb Chop, no!
- 00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:31,316 Sherry, help me!
- 00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:34,361 It burns! It burns!
- 00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:40,450 Eric, you have to get in the deep end sooner or later.
- 00:11:40,575 --> 00:11:43,412 Later's fine. - Just do your sidestroke.
- 00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:45,330 I only know how to do it doggy style.
- 00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:46,832 That's doggy paddle, Eric.
- 00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:47,999 Now, come over here.
- 00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:49,334 Can I do it doggy style?
- 00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:50,460 Okay.
- 00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:54,965 That's it, that's it, you can do it!
- 00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:57,759 Ah, damn it!
- 00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:59,469 Ah, not again!
- 00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:02,097 Come on, Eric. - No way! Sons of bitches!
- 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,557 I'm going home.
- 00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:05,183 The Fourth of July is finally here,
- 00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:07,185 and with the statewide ban on fireworks,
- 00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:09,563 people from all over Colorado are flocking to South Park.
- 00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:11,356 Here with a special report
- 00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,233 is a normal-looking guy with a funny name.
- 00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:14,818 <i>Thanks, Tom, it looks like the firework ban</i>
- 00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:16,319 won't be putting a damper
- 00:12:16,445 --> 00:12:17,821 on one town's festivities tonight.
- 00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:19,656 I'm here at Stark's Pond in South Park
- 00:12:19,781 --> 00:12:21,199 where the crowd of residents and scores of tourists
- 00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:22,784 anxiously await the lighting
- 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:25,287 of the largest snake in human history.
- 00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:27,497 Now, as most of you will probably remember,
- 00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:29,624 snakes are these little round disks that you light
- 00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:32,210 and they spew out a little snake of black ash.
- 00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:35,422 Well, the South Park snake is over half a mile in diameter
- 00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:37,215 and 20 stories high.
- 00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,009 I'm told that this event won't begin
- 00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:41,595 until the sun goes down and night is upon us.
- 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,764 All righty, then, looks like we're ready.
- 00:12:43,889 --> 00:12:44,765 - How are your swimming lessons going, Cartman?
- 00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:46,433 Fine.
- 00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:47,976 I heard you won't even get in the deep end.
- 00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,311 Well, you heard wrong, hippie!
- 00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:50,896 Ladies and gentlemen,
- 00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:52,481 good citizens of Colorado, it's my pleasure
- 00:12:52,606 --> 00:12:53,607 to be the first person to wish you all
- 00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:55,066 a happy Fourth of July!
- 00:12:55,192 --> 00:12:56,651 Let's start with our school band
- 00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:57,736 playing "The Stars and Stripes."
- 00:12:57,861 --> 00:12:58,945 This is it.
- 00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:01,198 And a one and a two and a...
- 00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:07,829 What the is that?
- 00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:09,039 I think it's "The Stars and Stripes."
- 00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:10,415 Oh, hell, light the snake.
- 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,009 Ooh...
- 00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:24,095 Aah...
- 00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:29,726 All right, Ned, now, we're coming up
- 00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:31,478 to the American border-- they can't know
- 00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:32,854 that we have fireworks in the trunk.
- 00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,981 Just let me do the talking.
- 00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:39,820 I guess that goes without saying, doesn't it?
- 00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:44,282 Good evening, gentlemen.
- 00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:46,159 Hello there, fellow American.
- 00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:48,328 We're just anxious to get back to our homeland.
- 00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:50,372 All right, I just need to ask you a few questions.
- 00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:52,123 - Fire away, we have nothing to hide.
- 00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:53,667 - Is anyone other than the two of you
- 00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:55,710 traveling in this vehicle? - No, sir.
- 00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:57,921 - Do you have any firearms or explosives in the car?
- 00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:00,006 - Yeah. I mean, no, no!
- 00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:02,342 - Open your trunk please, sir.
- 00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:03,802 - Damn! Damn!
- 00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:05,178 I always get that question wrong.
- 00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:13,311 - My God, it's beautiful... it never fails to amaze me
- 00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:15,272 how I manage to overcome adversity.
- 00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:20,360 Say, Charlie, when does that thing die out?
- 00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:22,946 Die out? - Yes, you know, expire, end.
- 00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:28,618 Hello? I'm asking you when it stops!
- 00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:32,831 Uh, I'm not sure, I-I never made one this big.
- 00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:34,666 I guess we didn't quite think this through, did we?
- 00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,459 What?
- 00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:37,878 Dude, that thing is huge!
- 00:14:38,003 --> 00:14:39,546 Yeah, they need to shut it off.
- 00:14:39,671 --> 00:14:41,089 Hey, you guys are screwing up the song!
- 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:42,924 Somebody stop it!
- 00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:44,968 It's out of control!
- 00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:50,515 Kenny, watch out!
- 00:14:55,979 --> 00:14:57,439 Oh, my God! They killed Kenny!
- 00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,024 You bastards!
- 00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:02,193 Oh, my God.
- 00:15:02,319 --> 00:15:04,154 You tell me how much longer this thing is gonna last!
- 00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:05,947 Uh, let's see, a normal size snake lasts three minutes.
- 00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:08,199 This is...
- 00:15:08,325 --> 00:15:11,202 So when does it run out? - November, of next year.
- 00:15:11,328 --> 00:15:12,203 Oh, hell.
- 00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:28,511 Well, we're coming up on nine hours,
- 00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:29,721 and the giant snake of South Park
- 00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:31,765 shows no signs of stopping.
- 00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:33,975 Residents have tried everything from fire hoses
- 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,019 to yelling at it to make the snake stop,
- 00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:37,646 but nothing seems to work.
- 00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:39,189 Thanks, Creamy... police are advising
- 00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:40,774 all citizens to stay indoors,
- 00:15:40,899 --> 00:15:42,192 not breathe the ash and air,
- 00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:43,985 and not ever light any giant snakes
- 00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:45,779 in the near future.
- 00:15:48,239 --> 00:15:49,574 Man, this sucks. - What should we do, dude?
- 00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:51,242 That big snake keeps growing.
- 00:15:51,368 --> 00:15:52,702 It's gonna demolish the whole state soon.
- 00:15:52,827 --> 00:15:54,120 We should do what we always do.
- 00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:55,664 Ask Chef for help. - Where is Chef?
- 00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:03,630 ♪ Baby, you know you're the girl for me ♪
- 00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:09,928 ♪ And all that I want to be is... ♪
- 00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:12,305 ♪ You and me ♪
- 00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:14,432 ♪ And her, simultaneous ♪
- 00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:16,393 ♪ You and me ♪
- 00:16:16,518 --> 00:16:17,769 ♪ And you and you ♪
- 00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:20,230 ♪ Simultaneous loving, baby ♪
- 00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:22,023 ♪ Two or three ♪
- 00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:23,650 ♪ Simultaneous ♪
- 00:16:23,775 --> 00:16:25,819 Ooh, that's right.
- 00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:27,445 Hello? What?
- 00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:29,239 Oh, hello, children!
- 00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:30,573 It's a what?
- 00:16:30,699 --> 00:16:32,242 A giant snake?
- 00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:33,952 Killing everybody?
- 00:16:34,077 --> 00:16:35,495 Growing bigger?
- 00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:38,039 Children, you know I rarely say this,
- 00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:41,376 but, well... futch ya.
- 00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:42,460 ♪ Simultaneous ♪
- 00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:44,254 ♪ You and me ♪
- 00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:45,755 ♪ And you and you ♪
- 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:48,133 ♪ Simultaneous loving, baby ♪
- 00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:50,760 ♪ Two or three ♪
- 00:16:50,885 --> 00:16:52,512 What'd he say?
- 00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:53,847 Dude, I think he told us to go ourselves.
- 00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:55,181 Wow! - How's that gonna help?
- 00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:57,017 All over America,
- 00:16:57,142 --> 00:16:58,935 the effects of the giant ash snake
- 00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:00,854 of South Park can be seen.
- 00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,067 Yea, let the spirit of Heavenly Father
- 00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:08,403 be blessed upon you.
- 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:11,489 From this day on, all will be well.
- 00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:14,451 I already feel like things are getting better.
- 00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:19,414 <i>And I can't sleep or think.</i>
- 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,833 Where would he have gone? Why would he leave?
- 00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:23,877 Well, let me ask you this: why...
- 00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:27,338 wh-where do <i>you</i> think... Mr. Hat went?
- 00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:28,882 How the should I know?
- 00:17:29,007 --> 00:17:30,258 If I knew that, I wouldn't be seeing
- 00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:31,968 a psychiatrist, would I?
- 00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:34,012 Well, I guess I see what you're saying, yeah.
- 00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:36,097 At first I was sure one of the children took him,
- 00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:37,599 but then I remembered that Mr. Hat and I
- 00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:39,100 actually had a fight that morning.
- 00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:41,728 Um...
- 00:17:41,853 --> 00:17:43,354 Are you gay? - What?!
- 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,732 It's-it's just-- it's just a question.
- 00:17:45,857 --> 00:17:47,525 Are you propositioning me? - No.
- 00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:50,445 Well, I can tell you that I'm 100% not gay.
- 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:51,529 Well, I believe you.
- 00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,323 I absolutely believe you.
- 00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:56,284 Mr. Hat, on the other hand. - Mr. Hat was gay?
- 00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:59,120 Sometimes he fantasizes about same sex relations.
- 00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:00,580 I see.
- 00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:01,915 Sometimes Mr. Hat liked to pretend
- 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,541 he was in a sauna with Brett Favre
- 00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:05,376 and a bottle of Thousand Island dressing.
- 00:18:05,502 --> 00:18:07,921 That I did not need to know. - Well, I'm just saying.
- 00:18:08,046 --> 00:18:09,923 - Mr. Garrison, I think that Mr. Hat was
- 00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:12,675 actually your gay side trying to come out.
- 00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:14,552 You see, it's you that's gay,
- 00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:17,347 but-but you're in denial, so you act out
- 00:18:17,472 --> 00:18:20,308 your gay persona with a homosexual puppet.
- 00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:24,479 What do you think about that?
- 00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,981 I think you're the loony one in this room.
- 00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:32,278 Serves you right, you gay-bashing homo.
- 00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:37,408 Well, Ned, looks like we missed Fourth of July again.
- 00:18:37,534 --> 00:18:39,369 Mm... yup.
- 00:18:39,494 --> 00:18:41,788 Damn it, those poor kids must have been so disappointed
- 00:18:41,913 --> 00:18:44,332 to have nothing but them stupid wussy snakes to light.
- 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,668 - Mm, well, better luck next year.
- 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:47,794 - Yeah, you're right.
- 00:18:47,919 --> 00:18:49,379 Okay, let's try again.
- 00:18:49,504 --> 00:18:51,172 Mm, is anyone other than the two of you
- 00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:52,841 traveling in this vehicle?
- 00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:54,342 No.
- 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:55,426 Mm, do you have any firearms
- 00:18:55,552 --> 00:18:57,804 or explosives in the car?
- 00:18:57,929 --> 00:18:59,514 Yes?
- 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,182 Damn it, I got it wrong again!
- 00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:02,475 What's the answer again?
- 00:19:04,853 --> 00:19:05,812 Holy smokes!
- 00:19:05,937 --> 00:19:07,188 What the hell is that?
- 00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:08,940 Mm, it looks like my ex-wife.
- 00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:10,191 Quick, Ned, this is our chance.
- 00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:11,526 The Hummer's outside.
- 00:19:19,951 --> 00:19:21,995 Hi, I haven't seen you in here before.
- 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:26,416 As more and more cities are affected by the growing ash
- 00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:28,626 and the death toll rises to 3,000,
- 00:19:28,751 --> 00:19:30,211 people from all over the country are looking
- 00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:32,422 to the mayor of South Park for answers.
- 00:19:32,547 --> 00:19:34,007 And it appears as if the mayor
- 00:19:34,132 --> 00:19:35,925 is going to explain matters now.
- 00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:37,218 Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
- 00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:38,636 the mayor of South Park regrets
- 00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:40,638 that she cannot be here herself,
- 00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:42,432 but she is... sick.
- 00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:45,226 Sick? What kind of lame excuse is that?
- 00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:46,603 You gotta be kidding me!
- 00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:48,021 Aw, this is ridiculous!
- 00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:50,023 Come on, we want answers!
- 00:19:50,148 --> 00:19:52,734 Sh-she's having her period.
- 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:54,360 Oh.
- 00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:55,653 - We do, however, have an official statement
- 00:19:55,778 --> 00:19:57,238 for all the concerned cities
- 00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:59,032 about the matter with the giant snake
- 00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:01,451 that we can't seem to put out.
- 00:20:01,576 --> 00:20:03,870 "We're sorry. Our bad."
- 00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:05,455 Thank you, that is all.
- 00:20:11,628 --> 00:20:13,046 Okay.
- 00:20:13,171 --> 00:20:15,048 No first graders around.
- 00:20:15,173 --> 00:20:17,258 I can swim to the deep end.
- 00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:21,137 I can do it. I can do it.
- 00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:23,473 I can-- I'm gonna make it.
- 00:20:27,936 --> 00:20:29,687 How many days left in summer? - A lot, I think.
- 00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:31,522 Damn it, I just want it to snow again.
- 00:20:31,648 --> 00:20:33,149 I don't think it matters, dude.
- 00:20:33,274 --> 00:20:35,318 This giant snake is gonna kill everyone soon.
- 00:20:35,443 --> 00:20:37,862 Buenos gracias, boys. - Hi, Uncle Jimbo.
- 00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:39,781 Aw, now, why the long faces?
- 00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:41,741 We're bored. - There's nothing to do.
- 00:20:41,866 --> 00:20:43,493 Well, I don't think those are problems
- 00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:46,162 that some Tijuana bottle rockets can't solve.
- 00:20:46,287 --> 00:20:47,997 Hooray!
- 00:20:48,122 --> 00:20:49,999 Careful with those, now, those are dangerous.
- 00:20:53,795 --> 00:20:55,296 Point 'em away from your eyes, now.
- 00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:56,881 Wow, these are huge.
- 00:20:57,006 --> 00:20:58,508 Aw, look at 'em, Ned.
- 00:20:58,633 --> 00:21:00,301 Look how much happiness
- 00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:03,388 a little firepower can bring to a child.
- 00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:10,603 Hey, look, we blew up the snake!
- 00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:13,815 All the ash from the snake is putting the flame out.
- 00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:15,525 Well, how do you like that?
- 00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:17,902 Bottle rockets saved the Fourth of July.
- 00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:19,153 Hooray!
- 00:21:21,864 --> 00:21:23,074 I'm gonna make it.
- 00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:24,951 I'm gonna make it to the deep end.
- 00:21:25,076 --> 00:21:26,953 I did it! I did it!
- 00:21:27,078 --> 00:21:28,746 I made it to the deep end!
- 00:21:28,871 --> 00:21:30,540 Hooray for me!
- 00:21:30,665 --> 00:21:31,749 The snake's been destroyed!
- 00:21:31,874 --> 00:21:33,501 The pool's open!
- 00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,503 Huh?
- 00:21:37,755 --> 00:21:41,551 No, no! You sons of bitches!
- 00:21:41,676 --> 00:21:44,637 Sons of bitches!
- 00:21:44,762 --> 00:21:47,307 - Look, they put out the snake! - Yay!
- 00:21:47,432 --> 00:21:51,561 Yes! Apparently my plan to blow up the snake
- 00:21:51,686 --> 00:21:53,313 worked perfectly.
- 00:21:53,438 --> 00:21:55,857 Hey, look, it's snowing!
- 00:21:55,982 --> 00:21:58,401 - Well, it's snowing black ash, but what the hell?
- 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:07,201 Winter's back! - Wow, it's a black blizzard.
- 00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:09,120 Mr. Garrison, where's Mr. Hat?
- 00:22:09,245 --> 00:22:10,788 Oh, I'm through with Mr. Hat.
- 00:22:10,913 --> 00:22:12,248 He's a two-timing whore.
- 00:22:12,373 --> 00:22:13,916 From now on, children,
- 00:22:14,042 --> 00:22:16,169 you're all gonna be learning from Mr. Twig.
- 00:22:16,294 --> 00:22:18,004 That's right, children.
- 00:22:18,129 --> 00:22:19,881 I'll see you in the fall. - Oh, I can hardly wait.
- 00:22:24,927 --> 00:22:27,388 - Hey, children, everybody, I'm back!
- 00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:28,973 I'm back from Aruba!
- 00:22:29,098 --> 00:22:30,391 What the...
- 00:22:32,018 --> 00:22:33,811 - Hey, Chef. - How's it going?
- 00:22:35,188 --> 00:22:37,398 - Howdy, Chef, how was your summer vacation?
- 00:22:38,775 --> 00:22:43,780 - Okay, everybody get in a line so I can whup all your asses.
- 00:22:43,905 --> 00:22:46,824 <i>♪ You and me and her ♪</i>
- 00:22:46,949 --> 00:22:48,117 <i>♪ Simultaneous ♪</i>
- 00:22:48,242 --> 00:22:50,036 <i>♪ You and me ♪</i>
- 00:22:50,161 --> 00:22:51,579 <i>♪ And you and you ♪</i>
- 00:22:51,704 --> 00:22:54,207 <i>♪ Simultaneous loving, baby ♪</i>
- 00:22:54,332 --> 00:22:55,833 <i>♪ Two or three ♪</i>
- 00:22:55,958 --> 00:22:57,460 <i>♪ Simultaneous ♪</i>
- 00:22:57,585 --> 00:22:59,045 <i>♪ Ooh, that's right ♪</i>
- 00:22:59,170 --> 00:23:00,421 <i>♪ Get down ♪</i>
- 00:23:00,546 --> 00:23:01,714 <i>♪ Simultaneous ♪</i>
- 00:00:01,836 --> 00:00:04,505 [cheers and applause] - Wow. What a great episode.
- 00:00:04,630 --> 00:00:05,756 And look, Trey, our bacon is cooked just right--
- 00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:07,800 not too soggy, not too crisp.
- 00:00:07,925 --> 00:00:09,927 Well, I've got the bread and French dressing all prepared.
- 00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:12,388 So we remove the bacon...
- 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,140 like so.
- 00:00:14,265 --> 00:00:17,727 Then we cover sparingly with French dressing...
- 00:00:17,852 --> 00:00:20,563 put on the other slice of bread...
- 00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:23,107 and garnish.
- 00:00:23,232 --> 00:00:24,900 Doesn't that look great?
- 00:00:25,026 --> 00:00:28,070 [cheers and applause]
- 00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:30,281 Mmm. Mmm!
- 00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:31,699 Hey, let's give some to Macon.
- 00:00:31,824 --> 00:00:33,325 Mm-hmm.
- 00:00:33,451 --> 00:00:35,453 Macon likes his with extra bacon.
- 00:00:35,578 --> 00:00:37,580 Here you go, buddy. Yeah!
- 00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:41,000 Wow. Macon's really taken to the bacon if I'm not mistaken.
- 00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:43,252 [laughter]
- 00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,254 [Macon grunting]
- 00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:46,922 Well, now it's time to watch our favorite episode
- 00:00:47,048 --> 00:00:48,883 of "South Park"-- it's called "Summer Sucks."
- 00:00:49,008 --> 00:00:51,510 That's right, it's all about that one week in the year
- 00:00:51,635 --> 00:00:53,721 when summer actually comes to South Park
- 00:00:53,846 --> 00:00:55,347 and all the snow melts.
- 00:00:55,473 --> 00:00:57,183 This episode has a special guest appearance
- 00:00:57,308 --> 00:01:00,102 by Jonathan Katz of "Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist."
- 00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:03,522 Well, sit back, relax, and enjoy "Summer Sucks."
- 00:01:03,647 --> 00:01:04,732 [cheers and applause]
- 00:01:04,857 --> 00:01:06,317 <i>[upbeat piano music]</i>
- 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:16,327 <i>[twangy music]</i>
- 00:01:16,452 --> 00:01:17,912 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:01:18,037 --> 00:01:19,622 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:21,332 all: ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:01:21,457 --> 00:01:23,250 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:24,710 - ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
- 00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:26,378 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:01:26,504 --> 00:01:28,089 - ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:01:28,214 --> 00:01:29,882 ♪ People spouting: "Howdy neighbor!" ♪
- 00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:31,383 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
- 00:01:31,509 --> 00:01:32,676 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:01:32,802 --> 00:01:36,472 [singing indistinctly]
- 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:37,973 - ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:01:38,099 --> 00:01:40,434 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:41,852 ♪♪
- 00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:43,521 Okay, children,
- 00:01:43,646 --> 00:01:45,356 I know that today is the last day of school
- 00:01:45,481 --> 00:01:47,942 and that the last day of school involves pranks,
- 00:01:48,067 --> 00:01:49,568 but this is going too far.
- 00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:51,904 Now, what have you done with Mr. Hat?
- 00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:55,783 Children, I want Mr. Hat back right now!
- 00:01:55,908 --> 00:01:57,201 The prank is over!
- 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,997 You think I can't get along without Mr. Hat, don't you?
- 00:02:02,123 --> 00:02:03,457 You think I can't live without him.
- 00:02:03,582 --> 00:02:04,750 Well, I can. He's just a puppet.
- 00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:05,960 I don't need him.
- 00:02:06,085 --> 00:02:08,504 You see, watch.
- 00:02:10,673 --> 00:02:13,551 <i>[tense music builds]</i>
- 00:02:13,676 --> 00:02:15,594 ♪♪
- 00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:17,805 God damn it, where the [bleep] did you put Mr. Hat?
- 00:02:17,930 --> 00:02:19,098 [bell ringing]
- 00:02:19,223 --> 00:02:20,808 Oh, no, you don't.
- 00:02:20,933 --> 00:02:22,393 The school year's over,
- 00:02:22,518 --> 00:02:23,644 but summer vacation doesn't start
- 00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:25,146 for you little bastards
- 00:02:25,271 --> 00:02:27,064 until Mr. Hat is back on my desk.
- 00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:28,816 [children groan] Now, I'm gonna turn around,
- 00:02:28,941 --> 00:02:30,609 and when I turn back, I expect to see
- 00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:32,778 Mr. Hat lying right here.
- 00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:34,196 Okay.
- 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,657 I'm gonna turn around now.
- 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,369 Shit! - Where did everybody go?
- 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:43,372 Hooray! - Summer!
- 00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,499 <i>[jazzy piano music]</i>
- 00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:47,793 Oh, golly, Kevin, honey!
- 00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,837 - Good to see you again, son.
- 00:02:49,962 --> 00:02:53,424 ♪♪
- 00:02:53,549 --> 00:02:55,426 - Looks like winter's right around the corner.
- 00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:57,094 Better get some firewood ready.
- 00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:59,471 ♪♪
- 00:02:59,597 --> 00:03:02,266 [chainsaw buzzing]
- 00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:04,351 Oh, happy summer, gentlemen. - Shut up, Pip.
- 00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:06,896 Righto. Enjoy some of the summer for me, would you?
- 00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:08,856 What do you mean? - Well, I have to spend
- 00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:10,441 my summer in summer school because I can't be left alone.
- 00:03:10,566 --> 00:03:12,902 You see, my parents are dead.
- 00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:14,028 Your parents are dead?
- 00:03:14,153 --> 00:03:15,529 Goddamn, you suck, Pip.
- 00:03:15,654 --> 00:03:17,364 [laughter]
- 00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:19,533 ♪♪
- 00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,035 Oh, yeah, dude. It's summer.
- 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:22,786 That means we gotta buy fireworks.
- 00:03:22,912 --> 00:03:24,997 I saved up enough money to buy M-80s this year.
- 00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:26,665 I saw this movie once where this guy stuck
- 00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:28,584 a firecracker up a cat's butt.
- 00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,294 Cool, maybe we can do that to Cartman's cat.
- 00:03:30,419 --> 00:03:32,880 Hey! If you so much as touch Kitty's ass,
- 00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:34,882 I'll put firecrackers in your nut sack
- 00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:36,759 and blow your balls all over your pants.
- 00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:40,429 Jesus, Cartman. - [mumbling defensively]
- 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:41,805 ♪♪
- 00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:43,891 - Hi, fellas. all: Hi, Stu.
- 00:03:44,016 --> 00:03:45,684 What can I do for you? - We want to buy M-80s.
- 00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:47,311 The kind that fit in Cartman's cat's ass.
- 00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:49,063 Okay, that's it!
- 00:03:49,188 --> 00:03:52,358 Screw you guys, I'm going home. - What a baby.
- 00:03:52,483 --> 00:03:53,943 So we'll have ten M-80s please.
- 00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:55,402 I'm sorry, fellas.
- 00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:57,071 Haven't you heard? - Heard what?
- 00:03:57,196 --> 00:03:58,364 All fireworks have been banned in Colorado.
- 00:03:58,489 --> 00:03:59,907 What do you mean?
- 00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:01,659 It was in the paper this morning.
- 00:04:01,784 --> 00:04:03,410 Dude, just 'cause some stupid North Park kid
- 00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:04,912 blew his hands off, we don't get to buy M-80s?
- 00:04:05,037 --> 00:04:06,705 Right. - How can they do this to us?
- 00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:08,791 Doesn't anyone believe in tradition anymore?
- 00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:11,502 Yeah, we've been playing with firecrackers our whole lives.
- 00:04:11,627 --> 00:04:14,630 <i>[music box playing]</i>
- 00:04:16,090 --> 00:04:17,716 Killed Kenny.
- 00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:19,593 - Oo bastards.
- 00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,513 A summer without fireworks is like...
- 00:04:22,638 --> 00:04:24,723 I don't know, but it's like it sucks ass.
- 00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:27,309 Yeah, now what are we supposed to do?
- 00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,645 I can still sell snakes.
- 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,524 [all groan]
- 00:04:33,649 --> 00:04:35,526 This is absurd, we need fireworks
- 00:04:35,651 --> 00:04:38,028 for our Fourth of July celebration at the lake.
- 00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:40,322 I don't care that some twerp blew his hands off.
- 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:43,117 We've got to have fireworks for our picnic!
- 00:04:43,242 --> 00:04:44,743 Hold on, I've got another call.
- 00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:47,121 Hello? No, I don't know where Mr. Hat is.
- 00:04:47,246 --> 00:04:49,331 Jesus, Garrison, I've got bigger problems.
- 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,125 Hello, yes... now, what am I supposed to do
- 00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:52,960 about our Fourth of July show at the lake?
- 00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:55,129 No, I don't want snakes.
- 00:04:55,254 --> 00:04:56,547 This is an outrage.
- 00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:57,756 Get me the mayor!
- 00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,341 I know that, smartass.
- 00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:01,093 I was being ironic.
- 00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:02,970 I'm sorry, Mayor, but I couldn't find
- 00:05:03,095 --> 00:05:04,555 the little man in the boat.
- 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,098 Well, keep looking.
- 00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:07,850 This is ridiculous.
- 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:10,144 We can't have a celebration without fireworks.
- 00:05:10,269 --> 00:05:12,688 Whoever heard of a Fourth of July picnic with snakes?
- 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,273 I like snakes.
- 00:05:14,398 --> 00:05:16,442 You light 'em, and they grow and grow.
- 00:05:16,567 --> 00:05:19,695 Wait a minute, that's it! I've got it!
- 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,573 This Fourth of July, South Park will make history
- 00:05:22,698 --> 00:05:25,200 by having the largest snake in the world!
- 00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:26,994 The press will love it.
- 00:05:27,119 --> 00:05:28,579 I'll be on the front p-- ooh...
- 00:05:28,704 --> 00:05:30,164 Oh, I found him.
- 00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:34,335 Man, it's hot out here.
- 00:05:34,460 --> 00:05:35,627 What do you guys want to do?
- 00:05:35,753 --> 00:05:37,254 We have the whole summer to play.
- 00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:38,839 Dude, what are we supposed to do?
- 00:05:38,964 --> 00:05:40,382 We always just played with fireworks.
- 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,593 I know, let's go sledding. - Yeah.
- 00:05:42,718 --> 00:05:44,386 Come on, Cartman, get on. - Stan?
- 00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:46,055 Let's go, dude, we're ready.
- 00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:47,097 What the hell you waiting for, Cartman?
- 00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:48,557 - Guys, don't you notice
- 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,142 anything wrong with this picture?
- 00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:51,477 Yeah, your fat ass isn't on the sled.
- 00:05:51,602 --> 00:05:53,020 Ugh. Whatever.
- 00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:57,483 What the hell's going on?
- 00:05:57,608 --> 00:05:59,526 Hey, there, boys. - Hi, Uncle Jimbo.
- 00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:01,737 How come you're not blowing things up, it's summer!
- 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,364 Didn't you hear? They outlawed fireworks
- 00:06:03,489 --> 00:06:04,656 'cause a little boy blew off his hands.
- 00:06:04,782 --> 00:06:06,116 What?! - Yeah, they're not even
- 00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:07,618 having 'em at the lake this year.
- 00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:09,036 Oh, my God. Well, don't worry, boys.
- 00:06:09,161 --> 00:06:11,622 Uncle Jimbo is on the case.
- 00:06:11,747 --> 00:06:12,873 Buckle your seatbelt, Ned.
- 00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:14,416 - Mm, where are we going?
- 00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:15,959 Mexico, my amigo.
- 00:06:16,085 --> 00:06:17,795 Mm, why are we going to Mexico?
- 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:19,380 To buy fireworks.
- 00:06:19,505 --> 00:06:21,340 Just 'cause some kid blew off his hands
- 00:06:21,465 --> 00:06:22,966 doesn't mean the rest of us have to suffer, now does it?
- 00:06:23,092 --> 00:06:25,260 Are fireworks legal in Mexico?
- 00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:27,054 Hell, everything's legal in Mexico.
- 00:06:27,179 --> 00:06:28,430 It's the American way.
- 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,934 At the Dyno-Might Firework Company,
- 00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:34,061 we have a commitment to excellence.
- 00:06:34,186 --> 00:06:35,979 Our focus is on safety, while the--
- 00:06:36,105 --> 00:06:37,689 Just cut to the chase and tell us about the snake!
- 00:06:37,815 --> 00:06:38,857 Oh, okay.
- 00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:44,655 Now, the disk that we're making is approximately
- 00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:47,282 5,000 times bigger than the average snake.
- 00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:49,201 Ooh!
- 00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:50,828 We'll have to fly it in with three Comanche helicopters
- 00:06:50,953 --> 00:06:52,538 and lower it onto the ground at the lake.
- 00:06:52,663 --> 00:06:54,081 "Comanche helicopters"...
- 00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:56,083 Then we'll need 57 flamethrowers
- 00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:57,876 all set up around the perimeter of the disk
- 00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:00,170 that are all triggered to fire at the same time.
- 00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:02,714 - "Flamethrowers, triggered at the same time."
- 00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:05,467 Once lit, the snake will grow.
- 00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:07,886 And good times will be had by all.
- 00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:09,680 Wonderful. - Spectacular.
- 00:07:09,805 --> 00:07:11,515 Well, you see, fireworks at the lake
- 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,308 will not only go on but perhaps be the best ever.
- 00:07:13,434 --> 00:07:14,893 Wait a minute, we're gonna need an orchestra
- 00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:16,645 to play "The Stars and Stripes."
- 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,730 Hey, how about the elementary school orchestra?
- 00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:20,190 They did a great version of "Mary Had a Little Lamb"
- 00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:21,942 at their last concert.
- 00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:23,777 Yes, get the school principal on the phone,
- 00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:25,487 and we need somebody to dress up like Uncle Remus.
- 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,030 Mayor, I think you mean Uncle Sam.
- 00:07:27,156 --> 00:07:29,324 - Of course I do, you [bleep] asshole!
- 00:07:29,450 --> 00:07:32,119 ♪♪
- 00:07:32,244 --> 00:07:33,996 ♪ Dusty the dirt ball ♪
- 00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,956 Why does everything have to suck so bad in summer?
- 00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,458 Hey, look, it's Mr. Garrison.
- 00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:38,542 - Hello, children.
- 00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:40,461 How is your summer going?
- 00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:42,296 Summer sucks ass, Mr. Garrison.
- 00:07:42,421 --> 00:07:43,630 - Hey, have you found Mr. Hat yet?
- 00:07:43,755 --> 00:07:45,132 Oh, oh, that old thing?
- 00:07:45,257 --> 00:07:47,509 I almost forgot he was gone.
- 00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:49,052 I don't need Mr. Hat.
- 00:07:49,178 --> 00:07:50,679 That's good.
- 00:07:52,264 --> 00:07:53,932 Mr. Hat is just a puppet.
- 00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,684 Yup.
- 00:07:57,853 --> 00:07:59,855 Mr. Hat isn't real. - Right.
- 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:04,359 Hey, you guys, my mom signed me up
- 00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:05,486 for swimming lessons at the community pool.
- 00:08:05,611 --> 00:08:07,029 You want to come?
- 00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:08,739 all: [laughing] Swimming lessons?
- 00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:10,032 Dude, that is the lamest thing I've ever heard.
- 00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:11,825 It is not! - Everyone knows
- 00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:13,327 that the first graders pee in the community pool.
- 00:08:13,452 --> 00:08:14,495 Yeah, Cartman, you're swimming around
- 00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:15,913 in first grader pee.
- 00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:16,914 I'm not swimming around in pee!
- 00:08:17,039 --> 00:08:18,499 Whatever, dude.
- 00:08:18,624 --> 00:08:20,000 - My mom says if I take swimming lessons,
- 00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:21,335 I can be in the Olympics someday.
- 00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:23,170 - Yeah, the Fat-Ass Olympics.
- 00:08:23,295 --> 00:08:24,630 - I am trying to make the best of a bad situation!
- 00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:26,340 I don't need to hear crap
- 00:08:26,465 --> 00:08:27,799 from a bunch of hippie freaks living in denial!
- 00:08:27,925 --> 00:08:30,928 Screw you guys, I'm going home.
- 00:08:31,053 --> 00:08:32,221 But, Cartman, we're trying--
- 00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:34,598 No, screw you guys, home.
- 00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,683 What does he mean, living in denial?
- 00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:39,186 Dude, it's Cartman, he's just being a dumb-ass like always.
- 00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:40,437 - There, how does that look?
- 00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:41,939 Like a big hunk of dirt
- 00:08:42,064 --> 00:08:42,940 with a carrot sticking out of it.
- 00:08:43,065 --> 00:08:44,816 Ah, crap.
- 00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:50,113 [blows whistle] Okay, kids, everyone in the pool.
- 00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:53,283 Come on, Eric, we're gonna start now.
- 00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:54,993 Nuh-uh! - Just jump in.
- 00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:56,328 I don't wanna.
- 00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:57,329 It's not gonna hurt you, hon.
- 00:08:57,454 --> 00:08:58,622 Just do it.
- 00:09:01,959 --> 00:09:03,544 There you go.
- 00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:04,795 Now, just let the first graders swim by you,
- 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:05,921 and then head towards us.
- 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,507 - Huh, first graders?
- 00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:11,885 Aw, weak! Weak!
- 00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:13,303 Ah, you sons of bitches!
- 00:09:15,847 --> 00:09:17,975 ♪♪
- 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:20,852 - Where the hell is our firework?
- 00:09:20,978 --> 00:09:22,312 We only have 24 hours.
- 00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:23,564 I'm sure it'll be here any second.
- 00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:25,566 Shut up! - Copy that.
- 00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:28,235 - Okay, children, I'm sure we're a little rusty.
- 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:29,945 Where's Eric Cartman?
- 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,446 He's taking swimming lessons. - Oh, dear.
- 00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:32,906 How are we supposed to sound good
- 00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:34,700 without our French horn section?
- 00:09:34,825 --> 00:09:35,826 Well, let's try some scales first.
- 00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:37,536 C scale first. And...
- 00:09:37,661 --> 00:09:41,206 [discordant music plays]
- 00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:43,208 ♪♪
- 00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:44,835 Okay, that was pretty good.
- 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:46,920 Let's play Mozart's "Symphony No. 5."
- 00:09:47,045 --> 00:09:50,132 [atonal music plays]
- 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,050 Oh, we're doomed... our Fourth of July celebration
- 00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:53,844 is going to have no fireworks and a bunch of tone-deaf
- 00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:56,221 little [bleep] playing-- wait a minute.
- 00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:57,306 It's the snake!
- 00:09:57,431 --> 00:09:59,600 <i>[triumphant music]</i>
- 00:09:59,725 --> 00:10:01,643 [blades whirring]
- 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,437 Let's move along, people.
- 00:10:03,562 --> 00:10:06,398 If you've seen one giant snake thingy firework,
- 00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:07,983 you've seen 'em all.
- 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,693 - Call everybody. The show's back on.
- 00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:11,111 Come on, we've only got one day to prepare!
- 00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:13,780 ♪♪
- 00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:15,866 <i>Buenos días, mi amigo.</i>
- 00:10:15,991 --> 00:10:18,452 <i>Yo soy una Americana spectacular.</i>
- 00:10:18,577 --> 00:10:20,287 <i>- Que?</i>
- 00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:22,748 <i>Yo necesito el fireworko spectacularrr.</i>
- 00:10:22,873 --> 00:10:24,499 [speaking Spanish]
- 00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:27,294 <i>No moleste el gato spectacularrr.</i>
- 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:30,255 Would you look at that, Ned?
- 00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:32,299 That's a Tijuana bottle rocket.
- 00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:33,884 These babies have enough power to blast a fire hole
- 00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:35,135 right through the ozone.
- 00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:36,887 They're spectacularrr.
- 00:10:37,012 --> 00:10:39,097 Ned, it's our job to get these to children
- 00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:41,308 all over America for the Fourth of July.
- 00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:43,602 We'll be like Santa Claus on Christmas morning.
- 00:10:43,727 --> 00:10:44,603 <i>Bueno.</i>
- 00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:46,396 ♪♪
- 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,691 [phone ringing]
- 00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:52,486 Hello? <i>- Hello, is Mr. Hat there?</i>
- 00:10:52,611 --> 00:10:55,113 Is this some kind of joke? <i>- [laughing] Yes.</i>
- 00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:56,323 You go to hell!
- 00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:57,699 You go to hell and you die!
- 00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,701 I'm gonna find out who you are.
- 00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:01,620 <i>I don't think you can, mm-kay?</i>
- 00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:03,038 God damn it!
- 00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:06,792 So, Lamb Chop, what would you like to do today?
- 00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:08,835 Well, I'd like to sing you a song.
- 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:12,089 Hey, let's sing one together.
- 00:11:12,214 --> 00:11:14,925 ♪ As long as we're together we can do anything ♪
- 00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:17,636 ♪ We can take on the whole darn world ♪
- 00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:19,930 ♪ We're happy as clams with plenty of pearls ♪
- 00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:22,432 ♪ Through thick and thin, we've always been together ♪
- 00:11:23,642 --> 00:11:25,602 [screaming]
- 00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:27,562 ♪♪
- 00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:29,189 No, Lamb Chop, no!
- 00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:31,316 Sherry, help me!
- 00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:34,361 It burns! It burns!
- 00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:40,450 Eric, you have to get in the deep end sooner or later.
- 00:11:40,575 --> 00:11:43,412 Later's fine. - Just do your sidestroke.
- 00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:45,330 I only know how to do it doggy style.
- 00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:46,832 That's doggy paddle, Eric.
- 00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:47,999 Now, come over here.
- 00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:49,334 Can I do it doggy style?
- 00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:50,460 Okay.
- 00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:54,965 That's it, that's it, you can do it!
- 00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:57,759 Ah, damn it!
- 00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:59,469 Ah, not again!
- 00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:02,097 Come on, Eric. - No way! Sons of bitches!
- 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,557 I'm going home.
- 00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:05,183 The Fourth of July is finally here,
- 00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:07,185 and with the statewide ban on fireworks,
- 00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:09,563 people from all over Colorado are flocking to South Park.
- 00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:11,356 Here with a special report
- 00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,233 is a normal-looking guy with a funny name.
- 00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:14,818 <i>Thanks, Tom, it looks like the firework ban</i>
- 00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:16,319 won't be putting a damper
- 00:12:16,445 --> 00:12:17,821 on one town's festivities tonight.
- 00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:19,656 I'm here at Stark's Pond in South Park
- 00:12:19,781 --> 00:12:21,199 where the crowd of residents and scores of tourists
- 00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:22,784 anxiously await the lighting
- 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:25,287 of the largest snake in human history.
- 00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:27,497 Now, as most of you will probably remember,
- 00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:29,624 snakes are these little round disks that you light
- 00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:32,210 and they spew out a little snake of black ash.
- 00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:35,422 Well, the South Park snake is over half a mile in diameter
- 00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:37,215 and 20 stories high.
- 00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,009 I'm told that this event won't begin
- 00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:41,595 until the sun goes down and night is upon us.
- 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,764 All righty, then, looks like we're ready.
- 00:12:43,889 --> 00:12:44,765 - How are your swimming lessons going, Cartman?
- 00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:46,433 Fine.
- 00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:47,976 I heard you won't even get in the deep end.
- 00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,311 Well, you heard wrong, hippie!
- 00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:50,896 Ladies and gentlemen,
- 00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:52,481 good citizens of Colorado, it's my pleasure
- 00:12:52,606 --> 00:12:53,607 to be the first person to wish you all
- 00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:55,066 a happy Fourth of July!
- 00:12:55,192 --> 00:12:56,651 Let's start with our school band
- 00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:57,736 playing "The Stars and Stripes."
- 00:12:57,861 --> 00:12:58,945 This is it.
- 00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:01,198 And a one and a two and a...
- 00:13:01,323 --> 00:13:04,409 [discordant music plays]
- 00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:06,286 [all groaning]
- 00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:07,829 What the [bleep] is that?
- 00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:09,039 I think it's "The Stars and Stripes."
- 00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:10,415 Oh, hell, light the snake.
- 00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:13,543 [cheers and applause]
- 00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:17,547 <i>[triumphant music]</i>
- 00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:19,174 ♪♪
- 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,009 all: Ooh...
- 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,302 ♪♪
- 00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:24,095 Aah...
- 00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:26,306 ♪♪
- 00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:28,183 <i>[flamenco music]</i>
- 00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:29,726 All right, Ned, now, we're coming up
- 00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:31,478 to the American border-- they can't know
- 00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:32,854 that we have fireworks in the trunk.
- 00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,981 Just let me do the talking.
- 00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:38,109 [laughs]
- 00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:39,820 I guess that goes without saying, doesn't it?
- 00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:41,154 [laughs]
- 00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:44,282 Good evening, gentlemen.
- 00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:46,159 Hello there, fellow American.
- 00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:48,328 We're just anxious to get back to our homeland.
- 00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:50,372 All right, I just need to ask you a few questions.
- 00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:52,123 - Fire away, we have nothing to hide.
- 00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:53,667 - Is anyone other than the two of you
- 00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:55,710 traveling in this vehicle? - No, sir.
- 00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:57,921 - Do you have any firearms or explosives in the car?
- 00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:00,006 - Yeah. I mean, no, no!
- 00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:02,342 - Open your trunk please, sir.
- 00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:03,802 - Damn! Damn!
- 00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:05,178 I always get that question wrong.
- 00:14:05,303 --> 00:14:06,471 [discordant music continues]
- 00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:07,556 [cheers and applause]
- 00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:11,142 ♪♪
- 00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:13,311 - My God, it's beautiful... it never fails to amaze me
- 00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:15,272 how I manage to overcome adversity.
- 00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:20,360 Say, Charlie, when does that thing die out?
- 00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:22,946 Die out? - Yes, you know, expire, end.
- 00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:28,618 Hello? I'm asking you when it stops!
- 00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:32,831 Uh, I'm not sure, I-I never made one this big.
- 00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:34,666 I guess we didn't quite think this through, did we?
- 00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,459 What?
- 00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:37,878 Dude, that thing is huge!
- 00:14:38,003 --> 00:14:39,546 Yeah, they need to shut it off.
- 00:14:39,671 --> 00:14:41,089 Hey, you guys are screwing up the song!
- 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:42,924 [all gasping] Somebody stop it!
- 00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:44,968 It's out of control!
- 00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:46,928 [all screaming]
- 00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:49,306 [children screaming]
- 00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:50,515 Kenny, watch out!
- 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,059 [yells]
- 00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:55,854 [mumbling]
- 00:14:55,979 --> 00:14:57,439 Oh, my God! They killed Kenny!
- 00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,024 You bastards!
- 00:14:59,149 --> 00:15:00,358 ♪♪
- 00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:02,193 Oh, my God.
- 00:15:02,319 --> 00:15:04,154 You tell me how much longer this thing is gonna last!
- 00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:05,947 Uh, let's see, a normal size snake lasts three minutes.
- 00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:08,199 This is... [mumbling]
- 00:15:08,325 --> 00:15:11,202 So when does it run out? - November, of next year.
- 00:15:11,328 --> 00:15:12,203 Oh, hell.
- 00:15:12,329 --> 00:15:13,830 [all screaming]
- 00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:28,511 Well, we're coming up on nine hours,
- 00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:29,721 and the giant snake of South Park
- 00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:31,765 shows no signs of stopping.
- 00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:33,975 Residents have tried everything from fire hoses
- 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,019 to yelling at it to make the snake stop,
- 00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:37,646 but nothing seems to work.
- 00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:39,189 Thanks, Creamy... police are advising
- 00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:40,774 all citizens to stay indoors,
- 00:15:40,899 --> 00:15:42,192 not breathe the ash and air,
- 00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:43,985 and not ever light any giant snakes
- 00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:45,779 in the near future.
- 00:15:45,904 --> 00:15:48,114 [woman screaming]
- 00:15:48,239 --> 00:15:49,574 Man, this sucks. - What should we do, dude?
- 00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:51,242 That big snake keeps growing.
- 00:15:51,368 --> 00:15:52,702 It's gonna demolish the whole state soon.
- 00:15:52,827 --> 00:15:54,120 We should do what we always do.
- 00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:55,664 Ask Chef for help. - Where is Chef?
- 00:15:55,789 --> 00:15:57,499 [birds singing]
- 00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:03,630 ♪ Baby, you know you're the girl for me ♪
- 00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:09,928 ♪ And all that I want to be is... ♪
- 00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:12,305 ♪ You and me ♪
- 00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:14,432 ♪ And her, simultaneous ♪
- 00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:16,393 ♪ You and me ♪
- 00:16:16,518 --> 00:16:17,769 ♪ And you and you ♪
- 00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:20,230 ♪ Simultaneous loving, baby ♪
- 00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:22,023 ♪ Two or three ♪ [laughs]
- 00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:23,650 ♪ Simultaneous ♪
- 00:16:23,775 --> 00:16:25,819 Ooh, that's right. [phone ringing]
- 00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:27,445 Hello? What?
- 00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:29,239 Oh, hello, children!
- 00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:30,573 It's a what?
- 00:16:30,699 --> 00:16:32,242 A giant snake?
- 00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:33,952 Killing everybody?
- 00:16:34,077 --> 00:16:35,495 Growing bigger?
- 00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:38,039 Children, you know I rarely say this,
- 00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:41,376 but, well... futch ya.
- 00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:42,460 ♪ Simultaneous ♪
- 00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:44,254 ♪ You and me ♪
- 00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:45,755 ♪ And you and you ♪
- 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:48,133 ♪ Simultaneous loving, baby ♪
- 00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:50,760 ♪ Two or three ♪ [laughs]
- 00:16:50,885 --> 00:16:52,512 What'd he say?
- 00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:53,847 Dude, I think he told us to go [bleep] ourselves.
- 00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:55,181 Wow! - How's that gonna help?
- 00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:57,017 All over America,
- 00:16:57,142 --> 00:16:58,935 the effects of the giant ash snake
- 00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:00,854 of South Park can be seen.
- 00:17:01,980 --> 00:17:04,232 <i>[melancholy piano music]</i>
- 00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,067 Yea, let the spirit of Heavenly Father
- 00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:08,403 be blessed upon you.
- 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:11,489 From this day on, all will be well.
- 00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:14,451 I already feel like things are getting better.
- 00:17:14,576 --> 00:17:16,161 [all scream]
- 00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:19,414 <i>And I can't sleep or think.</i>
- 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,833 Where would he have gone? Why would he leave?
- 00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:23,877 Well, let me ask you this: why...
- 00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:27,338 wh-where do <i>you</i> think... Mr. Hat went?
- 00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:28,882 How the [bleep] should I know?
- 00:17:29,007 --> 00:17:30,258 If I knew that, I wouldn't be seeing
- 00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:31,968 a [bleep] psychiatrist, would I?
- 00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:34,012 Well, I guess I see what you're saying, yeah.
- 00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:36,097 At first I was sure one of the children took him,
- 00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:37,599 but then I remembered that Mr. Hat and I
- 00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:39,100 actually had a fight that morning.
- 00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:41,728 Um... [clears throat]
- 00:17:41,853 --> 00:17:43,354 Are you gay? - What?!
- 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,732 It's-it's just-- it's just a question.
- 00:17:45,857 --> 00:17:47,525 Are you propositioning me? - No.
- 00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:50,445 Well, I can tell you that I'm 100% not gay.
- 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:51,529 Well, I believe you.
- 00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,323 I absolutely believe you.
- 00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:56,284 Mr. Hat, on the other hand. - Mr. Hat was gay?
- 00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:59,120 Sometimes he fantasizes about same sex relations.
- 00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:00,580 I see.
- 00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:01,915 Sometimes Mr. Hat liked to pretend
- 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,541 he was in a sauna with Brett Favre
- 00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:05,376 and a bottle of Thousand Island dressing.
- 00:18:05,502 --> 00:18:07,921 That I did not need to know. - Well, I'm just saying.
- 00:18:08,046 --> 00:18:09,923 - Mr. Garrison, I think that Mr. Hat was
- 00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:12,675 actually your gay side trying to come out.
- 00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:14,552 You see, it's you that's gay,
- 00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:17,347 but-but you're in denial, so you act out
- 00:18:17,472 --> 00:18:20,308 your gay persona with a homosexual puppet.
- 00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:24,479 What do you think about that?
- 00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,981 I think you're the loony one in this room.
- 00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:29,818 [screaming]
- 00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:32,278 Serves you right, you gay-bashing homo.
- 00:18:32,403 --> 00:18:34,697 <i>[dramatic music]</i>
- 00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:37,408 Well, Ned, looks like we missed Fourth of July again.
- 00:18:37,534 --> 00:18:39,369 Mm... yup.
- 00:18:39,494 --> 00:18:41,788 Damn it, those poor kids must have been so disappointed
- 00:18:41,913 --> 00:18:44,332 to have nothing but them stupid wussy snakes to light.
- 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,668 - Mm, well, better luck next year.
- 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:47,794 - Yeah, you're right.
- 00:18:47,919 --> 00:18:49,379 Okay, let's try again.
- 00:18:49,504 --> 00:18:51,172 Mm, is anyone other than the two of you
- 00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:52,841 traveling in this vehicle?
- 00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:54,342 No.
- 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:55,426 Mm, do you have any firearms
- 00:18:55,552 --> 00:18:57,804 or explosives in the car?
- 00:18:57,929 --> 00:18:59,514 Yes?
- 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,182 Damn it, I got it wrong again!
- 00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:02,475 What's the answer again?
- 00:19:04,853 --> 00:19:05,812 Holy smokes!
- 00:19:05,937 --> 00:19:07,188 What the hell is that?
- 00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:08,940 Mm, it looks like my ex-wife.
- 00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:10,191 Quick, Ned, this is our chance.
- 00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:11,526 The Hummer's outside.
- 00:19:19,951 --> 00:19:21,995 Hi, I haven't seen you in here before.
- 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:26,416 As more and more cities are affected by the growing ash
- 00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:28,626 and the death toll rises to 3,000,
- 00:19:28,751 --> 00:19:30,211 people from all over the country are looking
- 00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:32,422 to the mayor of South Park for answers.
- 00:19:32,547 --> 00:19:34,007 And it appears as if the mayor
- 00:19:34,132 --> 00:19:35,925 is going to explain matters now.
- 00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:37,218 Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
- 00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:38,636 the mayor of South Park regrets
- 00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:40,638 that she cannot be here herself,
- 00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:42,432 but she is... sick.
- 00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:45,226 Sick? What kind of lame excuse is that?
- 00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:46,603 You gotta be kidding me!
- 00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:48,021 Aw, this is ridiculous!
- 00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:50,023 Come on, we want answers!
- 00:19:50,148 --> 00:19:52,734 Sh-she's having her period.
- 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:54,360 Oh.
- 00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:55,653 - We do, however, have an official statement
- 00:19:55,778 --> 00:19:57,238 for all the concerned cities
- 00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:59,032 about the matter with the giant snake
- 00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:01,451 that we can't seem to put out.
- 00:20:01,576 --> 00:20:03,870 "We're sorry. Our bad."
- 00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:05,455 Thank you, that is all.
- 00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:07,624 [crowd murmuring]
- 00:20:11,628 --> 00:20:13,046 Okay.
- 00:20:13,171 --> 00:20:15,048 No first graders around.
- 00:20:15,173 --> 00:20:17,258 I can swim to the deep end.
- 00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:18,885 ♪♪
- 00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:21,137 I can do it. I can do it.
- 00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:23,473 I can-- I'm gonna make it.
- 00:20:23,598 --> 00:20:27,810 ♪♪
- 00:20:27,936 --> 00:20:29,687 How many days left in summer? - A lot, I think.
- 00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:31,522 Damn it, I just want it to snow again.
- 00:20:31,648 --> 00:20:33,149 I don't think it matters, dude.
- 00:20:33,274 --> 00:20:35,318 This giant snake is gonna kill everyone soon.
- 00:20:35,443 --> 00:20:37,862 Buenos gracias, boys. - Hi, Uncle Jimbo.
- 00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:39,781 Aw, now, why the long faces?
- 00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:41,741 We're bored. - There's nothing to do.
- 00:20:41,866 --> 00:20:43,493 Well, I don't think those are problems
- 00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:46,162 that some Tijuana bottle rockets can't solve.
- 00:20:46,287 --> 00:20:47,997 both: Hooray!
- 00:20:48,122 --> 00:20:49,999 Careful with those, now, those are dangerous.
- 00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:53,670 ♪♪
- 00:20:53,795 --> 00:20:55,296 Point 'em away from your eyes, now.
- 00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:56,881 Wow, these are huge.
- 00:20:57,006 --> 00:20:58,508 Aw, look at 'em, Ned.
- 00:20:58,633 --> 00:21:00,301 Look how much happiness
- 00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:03,388 a little firepower can bring to a child.
- 00:21:03,513 --> 00:21:06,140 [fireworks whistling]
- 00:21:06,266 --> 00:21:07,725 <i>[dramatic music]</i>
- 00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:10,603 Hey, look, we blew up the snake!
- 00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:13,815 All the ash from the snake is putting the flame out.
- 00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:15,525 Well, how do you like that?
- 00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:17,902 Bottle rockets saved the Fourth of July.
- 00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:19,153 both: Hooray!
- 00:21:20,822 --> 00:21:21,739 ♪♪
- 00:21:21,864 --> 00:21:23,074 I'm gonna make it.
- 00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:24,951 I'm gonna make it to the deep end.
- 00:21:25,076 --> 00:21:26,953 I did it! I did it!
- 00:21:27,078 --> 00:21:28,746 I made it to the deep end!
- 00:21:28,871 --> 00:21:30,540 Hooray for me!
- 00:21:30,665 --> 00:21:31,749 The snake's been destroyed!
- 00:21:31,874 --> 00:21:33,501 The pool's open!
- 00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,503 Huh? - [blows whistle]
- 00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:37,630 [children shouting playfully]
- 00:21:37,755 --> 00:21:41,551 No, no! You sons of bitches!
- 00:21:41,676 --> 00:21:44,637 Sons of bitches!
- 00:21:44,762 --> 00:21:47,307 Look, they put out the snake! all: Yay!
- 00:21:47,432 --> 00:21:51,561 Yes! Apparently my plan to blow up the snake
- 00:21:51,686 --> 00:21:53,313 worked perfectly.
- 00:21:53,438 --> 00:21:55,857 Hey, look, it's snowing!
- 00:21:55,982 --> 00:21:58,401 - Well, it's snowing black ash, but what the hell?
- 00:21:58,526 --> 00:21:59,694 [children laughing]
- 00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:04,115 ♪♪
- 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:07,201 Winter's back! - Wow, it's a black blizzard.
- 00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:09,120 Mr. Garrison, where's Mr. Hat?
- 00:22:09,245 --> 00:22:10,788 Oh, I'm through with Mr. Hat.
- 00:22:10,913 --> 00:22:12,248 He's a two-timing whore.
- 00:22:12,373 --> 00:22:13,916 From now on, children,
- 00:22:14,042 --> 00:22:16,169 you're all gonna be learning from Mr. Twig.
- 00:22:16,294 --> 00:22:18,004 That's right, children.
- 00:22:18,129 --> 00:22:19,881 I'll see you in the fall. - Oh, I can hardly wait.
- 00:22:24,927 --> 00:22:27,388 - Hey, children, everybody, I'm back!
- 00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:28,973 I'm back from Aruba!
- 00:22:29,098 --> 00:22:30,391 What the...
- 00:22:32,018 --> 00:22:33,811 - Hey, Chef. - How's it going?
- 00:22:35,188 --> 00:22:37,398 - Howdy, Chef, how was your summer vacation?
- 00:22:38,775 --> 00:22:43,780 - Okay, everybody get in a line so I can whup all your asses.
- 00:22:43,905 --> 00:22:46,824 <i>♪ You and me and her ♪</i>
- 00:22:46,949 --> 00:22:48,117 <i>♪ Simultaneous ♪</i>
- 00:22:48,242 --> 00:22:50,036 <i>♪ You and me ♪</i>
- 00:22:50,161 --> 00:22:51,579 <i>♪ And you and you ♪</i>
- 00:22:51,704 --> 00:22:54,207 <i>♪ Simultaneous loving, baby ♪</i>
- 00:22:54,332 --> 00:22:55,833 <i>♪ Two or three ♪ [laughs]</i>
- 00:22:55,958 --> 00:22:57,460 <i>♪ Simultaneous ♪</i>
- 00:22:57,585 --> 00:22:59,045 <i>♪ Ooh, that's right ♪</i>
- 00:22:59,170 --> 00:23:00,421 <i>♪ Get down ♪</i>
- 00:23:00,546 --> 00:23:01,714 <i>♪ Simultaneous ♪</i>
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