Пиписька Айка

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♪ Let's raise the roof ♪

00:00:11,137 --> 00:00:12,555

♪ Whoo-whoo-whoo ♪

00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:13,931

♪ Raise the roof,

whoo-whoo ♪

00:00:14,056 --> 00:00:15,766

♪ Yeah, boy, yeah, boy ♪

00:00:15,891 --> 00:00:17,018

♪ Say oh ♪

00:00:17,143 --> 00:00:18,227

♪ Oh ♪

00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:19,645

- ♪ Say oh oh ♪

00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:20,771

♪ Oh oh ♪

00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:22,231

- ♪ Say uh uh uh ♪

00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:23,441

♪ Yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah ♪

00:00:23,566 --> 00:00:24,608

♪ Whoo ♪

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Oh, you're back already.

00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,903

Wasn't that episode a hoot and

a holler?

00:00:28,029 --> 00:00:29,739

This next episode is called

"Ike's Wee Wee,"

00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:31,574

and it's all about the courage

of one man in facing

00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:33,534

his bitter addiction and coming

to terms with life

00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:35,911

before he loses everything he

loves.

00:00:36,037 --> 00:00:37,038

And Ike's wee wee.

00:00:37,163 --> 00:00:38,330

Right.

00:00:38,456 --> 00:00:39,957

I have to go to the bathroom.

00:00:40,082 --> 00:00:41,959

What did I say?

00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:45,171

I said calm down, or I'm gonna

be forced to use ninja star.

00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:47,423

Anyway, this episode also deals

with the very important

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subject

matter of circumcision.

00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:51,469

That's when they take a knife

and cut a slit

00:00:51,594 --> 00:00:53,387

right down the middle of your

penis

00:00:53,512 --> 00:00:55,306

slicing it into two halves,

and then they take the two

00:00:55,431 --> 00:00:56,640

halves and tie them in a little

bow.

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No, they don't.

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Huh?

00:00:59,477 --> 00:01:01,979

Dude, that's not what they

do.

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Is that what they did to you?

00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:07,068

Well...well, yeah, that's

what they do to everybody,

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isn't it?

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No.

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Dude, now I know why that Sally

chick calls you the pretzel.

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Shut up!

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- Well, anyway, this episode is

certainly gonna--

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I have to go to.

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God damn it! Will you just

give us two minutes?

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I can't wait two minutes.

- That's it.

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Ninja star!

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Ahh.

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Well, anyway, sit back, relax,

and enjoy "Ike's Wee Wee."

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♪ Raise the roof,

whoo-whoo ♪

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♪ Raise the roof,

say whoo-whoo-whoo ♪

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♪ I'm going down

to South Park ♪

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♪ Gonna have

myself a time ♪

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♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

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♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

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♪ Going down

to South Park ♪

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♪ Gonna leave my

woes behind ♪

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♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

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♪ People spouting:

"Howdy neighbor!" ♪

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♪ Headed on up

to South Park ♪

00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,255

♪ Gonna see if

I can't unwind ♪

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♪ So come on down

to South Park ♪

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♪ And meet some

friends of mine ♪

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Okay, children,

let's take our seats.

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This morning we're gonna

have a special lecture

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from your school counselor,

Mr. Mackey.

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Boo.

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Now, who was that?

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That is not

appropriate behavior, okay.

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I'm sorry,

Mr. Mackey, okay.

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That's okay, just don't

let it happen again.

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We won't let it happen again,

Mr. Mackey, okay.

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Okay, okay,

that's fine.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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Now, as

your counselor,

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I'm here to tell you

about drugs and alcohol

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and why

they're bad, okay.

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So first of all,

smoking's bad.

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You shouldn't smoke,

and, uh, alcohol is bad.

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You shouldn't

drink alcohol,

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and as for drugs,

well, drugs are bad.

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You shouldn't

do drugs.

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Okay, now that about

wraps up my introduction.

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Now, are there

any questions?

00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:06,812

Yes, Stan.

00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:08,439

- Why do dogs

have cold noses?

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Uh, well,

I'm not sure.

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Oh.

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Now, let's focus our

discussion first

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on "mari-ju-wana."

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Mari-ju-wana's bad

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and it also has a very

distinct smell, okay.

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I'm gonna pass around

just a little tiny bit,

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and I want you all

to take a smell

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so you know when someone

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is smoking mari-ju-wana

near you.

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Okay, just take a smell,

pass it on,

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and when it gets

back up to me,

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we'll finish

talking about it.

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In the meantime,

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I want to get into

alcohol a little, okay.

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Alcohol is bad.

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If you drink alcohol...

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Hey, are you guys gonna come

to Ike's party this weekend?

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Your little brother's

having a party?

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Why, is it

his birthday?

00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,017

No, it's his bris.

00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:46,602

What the hell is

a bris?

00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,270

I don't know,

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but there's gonna be lots

of food and a band.

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Oh, kick ass.

I want to have a bris.

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And so, that's why

alcohol is bad.

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Has that mari-ju-wana made it

back up here yet?

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No? Okay.

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Let's talk about LSD.

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Children,

LSD is bad.

00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:04,495

It's a drug

made famous

00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:06,497

by John Lennon and

Paul McCartney.

00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:08,123

Hey, are we supposed to get

00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:09,166

your little brother presents

for a bris?

00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:10,501

Uh, I'm not sure.

00:04:10,626 --> 00:04:11,919

Well, dude, you better

find out.

00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:13,420

Boys, are you

paying attention?

00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:14,797

Sorry, Mr. Mackey, okay.

00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,382

Okay.

00:04:16,507 --> 00:04:17,549

Now, children, has that

mari-ju-wana

00:04:17,675 --> 00:04:18,926

made it around

yet?

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Uh, who--who has

the "mari-ju-wana" now?

00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:28,102

Oh-oh--okay, whoever has

the mari-ju-wana,

00:04:28,227 --> 00:04:30,562

just pass it up to

the front row, okay.

00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:33,357

Uh, oh.

00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:35,192

I am very disappointed

in you, young man.

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You should be ashamed

of yourself.

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What could have possessed you

to be so stupid?

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I'm sorry,

Principal Victoria.

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Well, sorry isn't going to

00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:44,994

cut the cheese this time,

Mister.

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I'm afraid I'm going to have

to suspend you from school.

00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,247

You mean

I'm fired?

00:04:48,372 --> 00:04:50,291

Well, I guess that's the

grown-up way to put it, yes.

00:04:50,416 --> 00:04:53,377

But--but it was an honest

error of judgment, okay.

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I really thought it was

important for the kids to know

00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:57,298

the smell

of mari-ju-wana.

00:04:57,423 --> 00:04:58,882

It was an error of judgment,

Mr. Mackey,

00:04:59,008 --> 00:05:00,801

but I'm afraid I have to

let you go for it.

00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:03,137

We searched each one of

those kids, but came up empty.

00:05:03,262 --> 00:05:05,097

We had to

let them go home,

00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:06,390

and one of them now has

half of a lid of Jamaican grass

00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:07,975

because of you!

00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:10,102

How--how am I gonna

make ends meet?

00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,520

Okay.

00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:12,730

What--what will I do

for money?

00:05:12,855 --> 00:05:14,315

There, there, now,

00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:15,941

maybe this will

all blow over someday

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and we can give you

a job as a janitor,

00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,236

cleaning up vomit

with that pink sawdust stuff.

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Okay.

00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:25,784

Aah!

00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:27,578

Man, that sucked

getting searched.

00:05:27,703 --> 00:05:29,288

Yeah, my ass

is killing me.

00:05:29,413 --> 00:05:30,998

Why did they

search us?

00:05:31,123 --> 00:05:32,374

That mari-ju-wana never even

made it to us.

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I wonder

who took it.

00:05:35,711 --> 00:05:39,214

And now it's

almost time for Bobo's...

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Hello there,

children.

00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:45,262

Hey, Chef.

00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:46,430

How's it going?

00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:48,307

Bad.

- Why bad?

00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:50,184

- Children, I heard about

what happened at school today.

00:05:50,309 --> 00:05:52,186

Now, none of you took

that nasty marijuana, did you?

00:05:52,311 --> 00:05:53,729

- No, dude,

we never even saw it.

00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,689

- Okay, because I just

want to tell you

00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:57,775

that drugs are bad!

00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,526

We know, we know.

That's what everybody says.

00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:00,944

Right.

00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:02,988

But do you know

why they're bad?

00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,948

Because they're an addictive

solution to a greater problem

00:06:05,074 --> 00:06:06,492

causing disease of both

body and mind with consequences

00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:08,077

far outweighing

their supposed benefits.

00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:10,496

And do you have any idea

what that means?

00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:12,206

No.

00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:14,333

I know, drugs are bad

because if you do drugs,

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you're a hippie,

and hippies suck.

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Look, children, this is all

I'm gonna say about drugs:

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stay away from them!

00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:23,050

There's a time and a place

for everything,

00:06:23,175 --> 00:06:24,843

and it's called

"college."

00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:26,553

Do you understand?

00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:27,805

Dude.

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Okay.

00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,141

Hey, are you gonna come to

Ike's bris this weekend?

00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:33,018

Oh, hell no,

I can't bear to see that.

00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:34,603

What do you mean?

00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,063

Don't you boys know

what a bris is?

00:06:36,188 --> 00:06:37,439

They're going

to circumcise him.

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What's that?

00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:41,193

Oh, boy,

here we go again.

00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:43,695

Children,

uh...

00:06:43,821 --> 00:06:45,989

what's the one thing that's

more sacred to a man

00:06:46,115 --> 00:06:47,699

than anything else

in the world?

00:06:47,825 --> 00:06:49,493

Uh...bicycles?

00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:50,953

Ham?

00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,413

No, not ham,

you fat.

00:06:52,538 --> 00:06:53,539

Screw you!

It's ham, isn't it?

00:06:53,664 --> 00:06:55,541

No, no, no, children.

00:06:55,666 --> 00:06:57,709

I'm talking about the most

important part of a man's body.

00:06:57,835 --> 00:07:00,587

Your heart?

- Your eyes.

00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:01,839

Oh!

00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:03,257

That's right.

00:07:03,382 --> 00:07:04,633

Hey! My mom says you're not

supposed

00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,260

to call it a "penis,"

Kenny!

00:07:06,385 --> 00:07:07,261

You're supposed

to call it a "fireman."

00:07:07,386 --> 00:07:08,762

- A "fireman"?

00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:10,180

- That's the proper

way to say it,

00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:11,265

or else

you get a spanking.

00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:12,766

- Damn it, children.

00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,268

Why do I always

have to be the one

00:07:14,393 --> 00:07:15,853

to explain all this

stuff to you?

00:07:15,978 --> 00:07:17,813

Ask your parents for once.

- Hey, wait!

00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:20,149

Dude, something tells me

this bris thing isn't good.

00:07:21,692 --> 00:07:23,610

Hey, Mackey,

you got any more pot?

00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,446

My four-year-old

needs a fix.

00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,407

- Hey, Mackey!

00:07:28,532 --> 00:07:30,492

Now we see what you and

Homer Simpson have in common:

00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,161

"dope"!

00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:33,745

Hey, Mackey!

00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:34,872

Who do you

think you are?

00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:38,917

Hey, hippie,

you gonna do some drugs?

00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:45,382

I don't think I've seen you

around here before.

00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:48,552

No, I just--

I had to get away, okay.

00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:50,012

I just

lost my job.

00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:51,472

Oh, that's weak, man.

00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:52,848

You know

what you need?

00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,391

You need a good

stiff drink.

00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:56,602

Oh, I-I-I don't

drink, okay?

00:07:56,727 --> 00:07:59,855

Trust me, man,

it'll make you feel better.

00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,107

Drinking's bad.

00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:04,151

Go ahead,

drink the beer.

00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:06,945

It'll calm

you down.

00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:08,572

Yeah,

why the hell not?

00:08:08,697 --> 00:08:09,990

It's just a beer.

00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:11,825

Don't be such

a pussy, okay.

00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:16,288

So how do you feel?

00:08:17,623 --> 00:08:19,124

Oh, about the same.

00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:20,375

Oh, you just need something

a little stronger.

00:08:21,627 --> 00:08:23,045

Kyle, you have

to stop them.

00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:24,588

Stop who?

00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:26,048

Dude, I found out

what a bris is.

00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,132

I found out what they're

gonna do to Ike.

00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:28,634

What?

00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:29,760

They're gonna chop off

his wee-wee.

00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:33,639

Chop of his wee-wee!

Are you sure?

00:08:33,764 --> 00:08:35,432

Yeah, dude,

it's a Jewish tradition.

00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:36,892

It's called

a "circum-stision."

00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,852

Dude,

that is not cool!

00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:40,729

Chopping off wee-wees

is not cool!

00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,105

That can't be true.

00:08:42,231 --> 00:08:43,690

My parents

wouldn't do that.

00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:45,400

Dude, I asked

five different people.

00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:47,110

They said all Jewish boys

have "circum-stisions"

00:08:47,236 --> 00:08:48,987

and they make it into a party

called a bris.

00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:51,114

Dude, you don't just chop

off somebody's fireman.

00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:52,658

I won't believe it.

I won't!

00:08:52,783 --> 00:08:54,201

I have to ask

my mom and dad!

00:08:55,494 --> 00:08:57,955

♪ We are young,

okay ♪

00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:00,123

♪ Heartache

to heartache ♪

00:09:00,249 --> 00:09:02,125

♪ We stand, okay ♪

00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:06,463

♪ No promises, no demands,

mands, mands, okay ♪

00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:07,673

Uh...

00:09:07,798 --> 00:09:09,174

Is this my house?

00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:10,801

Your key ain't

gonna work, Mackey.

00:09:10,926 --> 00:09:12,177

I changed the locks!

00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:13,720

Why,

Mr. Freely?

00:09:13,845 --> 00:09:15,347

I'm not renting

to you anymore!

00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:16,974

I heard that you got fired

from your job

00:09:17,099 --> 00:09:18,642

for selling drugs

to children.

00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:22,312

No, no, no, okay.

It wasn't like that.

00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:24,356

Drugs are an

illegal narcotic,

00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:26,024

and having

never taken drugs,

00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:28,235

I can say that

they have nothing to offer.

00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,529

But I've never

taken drugs, either.

00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:32,364

I've never taken drugs,

and look at me,

00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:33,824

I'm totally fine.

00:09:33,949 --> 00:09:35,367

Now, get off my property

00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:37,160

before I lose control

and kill you!

00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,289

Ow!

Okay?

00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:41,623

Drug user!

00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,375

Drug user!

Come back here!

00:09:46,545 --> 00:09:47,921

Just

a little higher.

00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:48,964

Mom, Dad!

00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,173

Oh, hi,

boobala.

00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:51,800

I'm glad

you're here.

00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,218

You can help us

decorate for the party.

00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:54,636

Your mother's

made GaHekgafuga.

00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,763

What the hell is GaHekgafuga?

00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:59,766

Mom, Dad, what exactly

is this party for?

00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:03,604

To celebrate your little

brother's passage into life.

00:10:03,729 --> 00:10:05,230

Meaning what?

00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:06,773

Meaning we're going

to circumcise him.

00:10:06,898 --> 00:10:08,650

They are gonna

cut off his fireman.

00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:10,736

It's Jewish

tradition, booby.

00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:12,654

Normally we do it

right after the baby is born,

00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,698

but we had to do it later

for Ike because he's a--

00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:16,658

Ahh!

00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:21,496

Oh, now,

what's gotten into him?

00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:22,956

Stan, will you go

talk to him?

00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:27,544

Let us cut off

your pee-pee, Stan.

00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,466

Oy, what is the matter

with them?

00:10:32,591 --> 00:10:34,343

I can't believe my parents

are cannibals.

00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:35,802

What are you

gonna do, dude?

00:10:35,927 --> 00:10:37,220

I have to save

my little brother.

00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:38,597

I have to send him away until

00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:39,931

my parents come to their

senses.

00:10:40,057 --> 00:10:41,767

Come on, Ike.

00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:43,477

Cover me

for a while.

00:10:43,602 --> 00:10:44,478

I'll find a place

to hide him and come back.

00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:46,063

No way, dude.

00:10:46,188 --> 00:10:47,439

We're not staying alone

in your house

00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:49,066

with your wee-wee

chopping parents.

00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:50,817

Just give me 30 minutes.

Come on, Ike.

00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:54,946

I can't sleep.

It's too cold, okay.

00:10:55,072 --> 00:10:56,907

- Hey, you want something

to warm you up?

00:10:57,032 --> 00:10:59,534

Oh, uh, I didn't know this

dark alley was taken.

00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:02,496

Here, try this.

It'll warm you up.

00:11:02,621 --> 00:11:03,997

Mari-ju-wana's bad.

00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,874

What?

00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,293

Mari-ju-wana makes you feel

depressed and low, okay.

00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:10,170

And you don't feel

that way now?

00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:11,296

Huh. Good point.

00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:19,388

N--I don't

feel any diff--ooh.

00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:21,848

Ooh, baby,

get down, okay.

00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:24,601

Uh-huh.

- Man, this alley is cool.

00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:27,229

It's so alive

and beautiful.

00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,355

Oh, boy.

00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:31,066

Come on, Ike. Hurry up.

00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,569

Where's the next train going?

00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:36,029

Lincoln, Nebraska.

Train leaves in five minutes.

00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:37,531

You want to go

to Nebraska, Ike?

00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:39,199

No.

00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:40,367

I need one ticket

for my little brother.

00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:41,868

That's a little brother?

00:11:41,993 --> 00:11:43,203

I thought it was

a trash can or something.

00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:44,204

What's wrong

with his head?

00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:46,081

Huh?

00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,332

I'm sorry, but we just can't

throw Caucasian babies

00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,126

on an

outbound train.

00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:50,752

But my parents are gonna

cut off his ding-dong.

00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,295

What? Why the hell would

they do that?

00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:53,922

They've just gone crazy

for a while.

00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,382

Please, Mister, I have to hide

my brother

00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:56,800

until they come to

their senses.

00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:58,093

No can do, sonny.

- Damn it!

00:12:01,805 --> 00:12:03,598

Ike, if you want

to keep your penis,

00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:05,100

you have to

get on this train.

00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:07,853

Ready, Ike?

Kick the baby!

00:12:07,978 --> 00:12:09,938

Don't kick the baby.

00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,690

Good-bye, Ike,

be safe!

00:12:11,815 --> 00:12:13,233

I'll come find you

in Nebraska

00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:14,401

when Mom and Dad

are back to normal.

00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:15,527

Bye, bye.

00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:20,073

Oh, man,

where am I?

00:12:20,198 --> 00:12:22,075

Hey, wow.

00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,785

It's that counselor from the

elementary school, Mr. Mackey.

00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,203

Wow, dude.

00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:26,705

Hi, boys,

how are you today?

00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,206

Pretty good, man.

How are you?

00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:29,833

Oh, I've

been better.

00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:31,668

I've been kicked out of town

for doing drugs.

00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:33,128

Hey, us too.

00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:34,796

Yeah, remember?

00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,006

You caught us smoking weed

in the bathroom

00:12:36,131 --> 00:12:37,424

and got us

suspended.

00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:39,926

Oh. Oh, fortune,

how you mock me.

00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:42,012

Cheer up, bro, all you need

is some clear liquid

00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:43,388

to get

your head straight.

00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:46,308

- Uh, boys,

LSD is bad.

00:12:47,184 --> 00:12:49,644

Mm.

00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:53,356

Who put all this

cotton in my mouth?

00:12:53,482 --> 00:12:55,984

Yeah, baby.

00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,445

The world

is so small.

00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:01,823

I'm free.

00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:03,784

I'm free.

00:13:03,909 --> 00:13:05,368

Sweet, dude,

totally killer.

00:13:05,494 --> 00:13:06,995

That guy's

totally tripping.

00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,416

- There,

what do you think?

00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:12,751

What the hell's

that supposed to be?

00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:14,294

I'm making

a dummy Ike doll.

00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:15,921

My parents think he's out

with me right now

00:13:16,046 --> 00:13:17,839

and I have to

bring him back for dinner.

00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:19,674

Dude, I think your mom's

gonna notice that isn't Ike.

00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,635

Not if I say he's sick

and put him to bed right away.

00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,386

No, go away.

bad bog.

00:13:23,512 --> 00:13:25,138

Dude, what did you make

that doll out of?

00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:26,598

I used a bunch of bones

from the butcher shop.

00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:28,725

Is that why it

stinks so bad?

00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:30,811

Hi, boys.

00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:32,395

Hi, Mr. Mackey.

00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:34,523

Are you boys

staying out of trouble?

00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,233

Yes!

00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:39,694

Okay, I'm just gonna go

over here for a while.

00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,488

Anyways, I need

you guys to help me

00:13:41,613 --> 00:13:43,824

so that my parents

don't realize Ike is gone.

00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:45,742

Knock it off,

asshole!

00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:47,536

No way! I'm never going back

to your parent's house.

00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:48,537

Come on, dude, if it were

your little brother,

00:13:48,662 --> 00:13:49,621

we'd help you.

00:13:51,623 --> 00:13:52,916

Wait a minute,

no, you wouldn't!

00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:58,421

Ouch.

Ow.

00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:01,299

Would you look

at that, honey?

00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:04,427

Somebody dropped off

a perfectly good trash can.

00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:05,804

Yeah.

00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:10,016

Booby, where have

you been?

00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:11,768

Dinner's been ready

for five minutes.

00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:13,436

- Sorry, Mom, I just

had to deal with Ike.

00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:14,855

He's been cranky.

00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:16,731

How is my

little jelly bean?

00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:20,193

I'm gonna take him up to

the bathroom to get washed up.

00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:22,153

Okay, but first let Mommy

give you a kiss.

00:14:23,238 --> 00:14:25,115

No, Mom, he doesn't

want you kissing him.

00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:28,618

Oh, my God,

make him stop!

00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:29,870

Put it down,

you stupid dog!

00:14:29,995 --> 00:14:32,247

My baby.

Oh, God!

00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,332

Get out of here, you mutt,

let him go!

00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:38,128

Oh, my baby!

Boobala...

00:14:39,671 --> 00:14:41,715

Baby!

- Huh?

00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,804

Oh, he's dead.

He's dead.

00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:50,140

My little

boobala's dead.

00:14:50,265 --> 00:14:53,310

here, there, Sheila.

There's nothing we can do.

00:14:58,356 --> 00:14:59,733

"Yea, usher us

unto the Lord,"

00:14:59,858 --> 00:15:01,359

sayeth some

Jewish guy once.

00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:04,029

Ashes to ashes,

dust to dust.

00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,495

Hey,

wait a minute.

00:15:12,621 --> 00:15:14,331

How come Ike's tombstone

has a Canadian flag on it?

00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:16,333

Well, booby, there's

something you have to know.

00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:18,960

Ike wasn't really your brother.

He was adopted.

00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,462

What?

00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:21,463

He was not really

a Broflovski.

00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:22,881

He was Canadian.

00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:24,007

But we loved him

all the same.

00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:27,344

You mean to tell me

that all this time

00:15:27,469 --> 00:15:28,386

I've been trying to

protect Ike from having

00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:29,721

his fireman cut off,

00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:31,097

and he's not even

my real brother?

00:15:31,222 --> 00:15:32,724

What are you

talking about?

00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:35,310

Dude, Ike isn't dead.

He's in Nebraska.

00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,978

What, what, what?

00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:38,772

Dude, you shouldn't have

told them that.

00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:40,273

Now they're gonna find him

and cut off his penis.

00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:41,733

"Fireman."

- Oh, who the hell cares?

00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:42,734

He's not even

my responsibility.

00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,656

Oh, my God.

They've killed Kenny!

00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:49,574

You bastards.

00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:52,118

Yea, let us ponder

the Lord's mercies.

00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:53,745

Ashes to ashes,

dust to dust.

00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:02,796

Get out of the way,

you damn hippie.

00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:03,922

- I don't need to take your

right wing,

00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:05,423

authoritative bullshit.

00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:07,008

What?

00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,927

You're just like

the government, man,

00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:11,680

trying to prosecute out

one side of your mouth, okay.

00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:14,849

While supporting guns

out of the other, okay.

00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:17,560

Eh, why don't you go to

a Grateful Dead concert?

00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:21,272

I can't, man.

Jer-bear's dead, okay.

00:16:21,398 --> 00:16:24,359

Hey, man,

I overheard what you said.

00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:25,777

That was cool.

00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:27,821

What?

Oh, thanks, man.

00:16:27,946 --> 00:16:31,199

Would you like to come over

to my place and finger paint?

00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,450

Sure, man.

00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:35,745

Finger painting's cool, okay.

00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,669

Now, where did you

leave him, young man?

00:16:42,794 --> 00:16:44,462

How the hell

should I know?

00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:46,631

Gerald, do something about

your smart-ass son.

00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:49,551

Uh, mind your mother,

smart-ass.

00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,136

If we don't find him,

so help me,

00:16:51,261 --> 00:16:53,221

you're gonna be

grounded for a month!

00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,598

All this time, "look out

for your little brother, Kyle,"

00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:57,225

"Take care of your

little brother, Kyle,"

00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:58,727

and he wasn't even

really my little brother!

00:16:58,852 --> 00:17:00,228

Kyle, just because

Ike is adopted

00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:01,813

doesn't make him

any less your brother.

00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:03,398

Yeah, right.

00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,066

Excuse me.

00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:07,027

We're looking for

a two-year-old Canadian boy.

00:17:07,152 --> 00:17:09,237

Two-year-old Canadian boy,

two-year-old Canadian boy...

00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,781

Oh, I think they might have

one of those down at Hap's Bar.

00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:13,074

Come on!

00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:22,000

Ike!

00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:25,336

Hey, lady,

that's my table post!

00:17:25,462 --> 00:17:26,671

You can't have that!

00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:31,468

Wow, man.

00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:33,261

You know, it's like,

00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,888

you go through life thinking

00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:36,723

that you're an individual,

okay.

00:17:36,848 --> 00:17:38,933

Then you realize that

you're more than that, okay?

00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:42,020

We're all just one big

individual, okay?

00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:46,608

Let's get married and

have a honeymoon in India.

00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:49,402

Okay.

00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:53,782

- Now, you march to your room

00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:55,784

and you think about

what you've done!

00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:57,744

But first apologize

to your brother.

00:17:57,869 --> 00:17:59,079

He's not my brother!

00:17:59,204 --> 00:18:00,413

Apologize to him!

00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:01,664

I'm sorry, Ike.

00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:11,257

Wow, this is so beautiful.

00:18:11,382 --> 00:18:13,134

I am one with the animals

00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,552

and the trees.

00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:16,679

And I am one with you.

00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:20,016

♪ At long last

I have found ♪

00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:22,977

♪ A true reason

to be ♪

00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:25,980

♪ Now I feel

I can start anew-- ♪

00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:27,232

Oh! Oh!

00:18:27,357 --> 00:18:29,609

Ow, hey!

00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:30,944

Whoa.

00:18:31,069 --> 00:18:33,238

Okay.

00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:34,614

What the hell's

going on?

00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:35,990

Tough love, Mr. Mackey.

00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:37,408

We're taking you

to rehab.

00:18:37,534 --> 00:18:38,910

I don't want to

go to rehab.

00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:40,745

I haven't even

done drugs in weeks.

00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:42,455

We were wrong for

shunning you, Mr. Mackey,

00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:44,165

and we apologize.

00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,084

We should've realized

that you needed help.

00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:48,086

Yeah, now we'll make sure

you get the help you need.

00:18:48,211 --> 00:18:49,629

I don't want help!

00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:51,297

You'll thank us later.

00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:55,426

Hello, Tom.

Hello, Patty.

00:18:55,552 --> 00:18:57,053

Thanks for coming

to Ike's bris.

00:18:57,178 --> 00:18:59,389

Look, Ike,

it's your Uncle Murray.

00:18:59,514 --> 00:19:00,765

Hello, Ike.

00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:02,559

Say, where's little Kyle?

00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:04,602

He's been sent to his room

for being a bastard.

00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:07,021

He's decided that Ike isn't

his brother since he's adopted.

00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:09,566

Hi, there.

- Hello, do I know you?

00:19:09,691 --> 00:19:11,151

Oh, no,

but I never miss a bris.

00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:12,360

Here, I brought

some dip.

00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:14,195

Oh, thanks.

00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,030

Well, I guess the chopping

is about to commence.

00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:18,825

What do you want?

00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:25,999

Oh, no, you don't.

00:19:26,124 --> 00:19:27,667

That isn't gonna

work on me, Canadian.

00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:29,460

Maybe you're being

too hard on him, dude.

00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:30,587

No way, there's no

real connection between us.

00:19:30,712 --> 00:19:31,671

It was all a big lie.

00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:33,006

Cookie Monster.

00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:35,258

Two, three,

four, five...

00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:36,885

Go on, Canadian,

beat it!

00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:38,136

I'm through getting

in trouble for you!

00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:43,683

You have to admit

you have a problem

00:19:43,808 --> 00:19:45,310

before anybody

can help you.

00:19:45,435 --> 00:19:47,729

But I don't think

I really have a problem.

00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:49,439

Nonsense,

you did drugs.

00:19:49,564 --> 00:19:51,024

I suppose you forgot

all about your family?

00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:52,692

I don't really

have a family.

00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:54,152

And you

lost your job.

00:19:54,277 --> 00:19:55,778

No, I lost my job

before that.

00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:57,739

Mr. Mackey, you're

supposed to be an adult.

00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:58,948

The problem with drugs is that

people forget

00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:00,867

to stop doing

them.

00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:02,243

There's a time and a place

for everything, Mr. Mackey,

00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:03,828

and it's called

"college."

00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:05,914

Now I want you

to repeat after me:

00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:08,082

drugs are bad.

00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:10,001

Drugs are bad.

00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:12,962

Drugs are bad.

00:20:13,087 --> 00:20:15,089

Drugs are bad.

00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,509

Hello, Dr. Schwartz.

00:20:18,635 --> 00:20:20,011

Thank you so much

for coming all this way

00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:21,679

to perform Ike's bris.

00:20:21,804 --> 00:20:23,223

Oh, my pleasure, Sheila.

00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:24,933

I brought the normal

cutting device,

00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:27,143

but then I remembered

that Ike was Canadian,

00:20:27,268 --> 00:20:28,686

so I brought

the right one.

00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:30,188

Where is the little rug-rat?

00:20:30,313 --> 00:20:32,565

Right over here.

00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:33,775

Come here, you.

00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:35,485

Ow!

00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:41,699

Ike!

00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:43,243

Ike!

00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:52,377

There you are.

Come on, Ike, it's time.

00:20:54,212 --> 00:20:56,130

You stay away

from my little brother!

00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:57,715

But son, I just--

00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,175

You aren't gonna

cut off his wee-wee!

00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:00,718

Not today,

you sick-ass weirdo!

00:21:00,843 --> 00:21:02,345

Kyle, what are you

talking about?

00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:04,597

And you! You should be

ashamed of yourself.

00:21:04,722 --> 00:21:06,266

Don't you understand

that us males

00:21:06,391 --> 00:21:07,892

are defined

by our firemen?

00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:10,520

Yes, the fireman

is very magical.

00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:13,022

If you rub his helmet,

he spits in your eye.

00:21:14,649 --> 00:21:16,192

Kyle, a circumcision

00:21:16,317 --> 00:21:18,528

is a very common thing

for Ike to have.

00:21:18,653 --> 00:21:20,863

His father had it,

his grandfather had it,

00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:23,658

and his brother had it.

00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:24,993

No!

00:21:25,118 --> 00:21:26,452

No, it isn't true!

00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:28,079

We're not going to

cut it off.

00:21:28,204 --> 00:21:29,914

We're just gonna snip it

so that it looks bigger.

00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,501

Oh, hey, that doesn't

sound like a bad idea.

00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,545

Yeah, I want to get

a "circum-stision" too.

00:21:38,381 --> 00:21:39,674

Congratulations,

Mr. Mackey.

00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:41,467

You are fully recovered.

00:21:41,592 --> 00:21:43,469

I can't thank you enough

for everything, okay.

00:21:43,594 --> 00:21:45,555

I feel like

my old self again.

00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,391

Just one

more thing...

00:21:48,516 --> 00:21:50,935

Remember that

you can stay sober.

00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:52,937

I will,

Miss Social Worker.

00:21:53,062 --> 00:21:55,315

I will, okay.

00:21:56,357 --> 00:21:57,567

It's okay, Ike,

I'm here.

00:21:57,692 --> 00:22:00,236

And a one and a two

and a...

00:22:00,361 --> 00:22:01,404

Bris!

00:22:01,529 --> 00:22:04,449

Ouch.

00:22:04,574 --> 00:22:05,783

Cookie Monster.

00:22:05,908 --> 00:22:07,702

Ike, you're okay.

00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:09,620

Wow, dude, I guess having

a bris isn't all that bad.

00:22:09,746 --> 00:22:11,289

Yeah, you know,

I've learned something today.

00:22:11,414 --> 00:22:12,707

Family isn't

about whose blood you have.

00:22:12,832 --> 00:22:13,833

It's about

who you care about.

00:22:13,958 --> 00:22:15,293

Yeah.

00:22:15,418 --> 00:22:17,045

And that's why I feel you

guys

00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:18,087

are more than just

friends; you're my family.

00:22:18,212 --> 00:22:19,505

Except for Cartman.

00:22:19,630 --> 00:22:21,466

Naturally.

- Screw you, guys!

00:22:21,591 --> 00:22:22,675

I don't want to be in your

penis chopping family anyway!

00:22:25,636 --> 00:22:26,929

And so now, children,

00:22:27,055 --> 00:22:28,723

your school counselor

is back

00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:31,351

to tell you firsthand

about his nasty experience

00:22:31,476 --> 00:22:33,644

with drugs and alcohol.

00:22:33,770 --> 00:22:36,981

Okay, kids,

you shouldn't do drugs, okay.

00:22:37,106 --> 00:22:38,691

Drugs are bad.

00:22:38,816 --> 00:22:40,360

You see, I was at

the bottom of the barrel.

00:22:40,485 --> 00:22:41,861

I was a wreck.

00:22:41,986 --> 00:22:43,488

Well, I didn't even

care about money.

00:22:43,613 --> 00:22:45,615

I was--I was wasting

my life...

00:22:45,740 --> 00:22:47,617

Hey, you guys want to come

to my bris tomorrow?

00:22:47,742 --> 00:22:48,910

You can't have

your bris tomorrow, Cartman.

00:22:49,035 --> 00:22:50,495

That's when

I'm having mine.

00:22:50,620 --> 00:22:52,163

No way, I set up

mine first, hippie!

00:22:52,288 --> 00:22:54,207

Now, boys, you need

to listen up, okay.

00:22:54,332 --> 00:22:57,251

What I'm talking about might

save your life someday, okay.

00:22:57,377 --> 00:22:59,212

Okay, Mr. Mackey, okay.

00:22:59,337 --> 00:23:00,671

Okay.

- Okay.

00:23:00,797 --> 00:23:02,256

Okay.

- Okay.

00:23:02,382 --> 00:23:03,800

Okay.

00:23:03,925 --> 00:23:06,302

Now, as I was saying,

drugs are bad.

00:23:06,427 --> 00:23:07,845

You shouldn't

do drugs.

00:23:07,970 --> 00:23:10,431

If you do them, you're bad.

00:23:10,556 --> 00:23:12,517

Because drugs are bad, okay.

00:23:12,642 --> 00:23:14,310

It's a bad thing

to do, drugs,

00:23:14,435 --> 00:23:16,687

so don't be bad

by doing drugs, okay.

00:23:16,813 --> 00:23:18,272

That'd be bad.

00:23:18,398 --> 00:23:20,608

Drugs are bad, okay.

00:00:05,006 --> 00:00:07,591

♪♪

00:00:07,717 --> 00:00:09,760

- ♪ Let's raise the roof,

whoo-whoo ♪

00:00:09,885 --> 00:00:11,012

♪ Let's raise the roof ♪

00:00:11,137 --> 00:00:12,555

♪ Whoo-whoo-whoo ♪

00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:13,931

♪ Raise the roof,

whoo-whoo ♪

00:00:14,056 --> 00:00:15,766

♪ Yeah, boy, yeah, boy ♪

00:00:15,891 --> 00:00:17,018

♪ Say oh ♪

00:00:17,143 --> 00:00:18,227

[together]

♪ Oh ♪

00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:19,645

- ♪ Say oh oh ♪

00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:20,771

[together]

♪ Oh oh ♪

00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:22,231

- ♪ Say uh uh uh ♪

00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:23,441

♪ Yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah ♪

00:00:23,566 --> 00:00:24,608

♪ Whoo ♪

00:00:24,734 --> 00:00:26,235

Oh, you're back already.

00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,903

Wasn't that episode a hoot and

a holler?

00:00:28,029 --> 00:00:29,739

This next episode is called

"Ike's Wee Wee,"

00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:31,574

and it's all about the courage

of one man in facing

00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:33,534

his bitter addiction and coming

to terms with life

00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:35,911

before he loses everything he

loves.

00:00:36,037 --> 00:00:37,038

And Ike's wee wee.

00:00:37,163 --> 00:00:38,330

Right.

00:00:38,456 --> 00:00:39,957

I have to go to the bathroom.

00:00:40,082 --> 00:00:41,959

What did I say?

00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:45,171

I said calm down, or I'm gonna

be forced to use ninja star.

00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:47,423

Anyway, this episode also deals

with the very important

00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,258

subject

matter of circumcision.

00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:51,469

That's when they take a knife

and cut a slit

00:00:51,594 --> 00:00:53,387

right down the middle of your

penis

00:00:53,512 --> 00:00:55,306

slicing it into two halves,

and then they take the two

00:00:55,431 --> 00:00:56,640

halves and tie them in a little

bow.

00:00:56,766 --> 00:00:57,892

No, they don't.

00:00:58,017 --> 00:00:59,351

Huh?

00:00:59,477 --> 00:01:01,979

Dude, that's not what they

do.

00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:04,607

Is that what they did to you?

00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:07,068

Well...well, yeah, that's

what they do to everybody,

00:01:07,193 --> 00:01:08,194

isn't it?

00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:11,489

No.

[laughs]

00:01:11,614 --> 00:01:14,658

[laughter]

00:01:14,784 --> 00:01:17,328

Dude, now I know why that Sally

chick calls you the pretzel.

00:01:17,453 --> 00:01:19,163

Shut up!

00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:21,248

- Well, anyway, this episode is

certainly gonna--

00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:23,042

I have to go to.

00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:24,668

God damn it! Will you just

give us two minutes?

00:01:24,794 --> 00:01:26,879

I can't wait two minutes.

- That's it.

00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:29,298

Ninja star!

00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:32,218

Ahh.

00:01:33,677 --> 00:01:38,432

Well, anyway, sit back, relax,

and enjoy "Ike's Wee Wee."

00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:40,518

♪ Raise the roof,

whoo-whoo ♪

00:01:40,643 --> 00:01:42,770

♪ Raise the roof,

say whoo-whoo-whoo ♪

00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:52,738

[twangy music]

00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:54,240

♪ I'm going down

to South Park ♪

00:01:54,365 --> 00:01:56,242

♪ Gonna have

myself a time ♪

00:01:56,367 --> 00:01:57,952

♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

00:01:58,077 --> 00:01:59,495

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:00,955

♪ Going down

to South Park ♪

00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:02,790

♪ Gonna leave my

woes behind ♪

00:02:02,915 --> 00:02:04,500

♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,001

♪ People spouting:

"Howdy neighbor!" ♪

00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:07,503

♪ Headed on up

to South Park ♪

00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,255

♪ Gonna see if

I can't unwind ♪

00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:12,424

[mumbling]

00:02:12,550 --> 00:02:13,926

♪ So come on down

to South Park ♪

00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,719

♪ And meet some

friends of mine ♪

00:02:17,096 --> 00:02:19,348

Okay, children,

let's take our seats.

00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:22,059

This morning we're gonna

have a special lecture

00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:24,979

from your school counselor,

Mr. Mackey.

00:02:25,104 --> 00:02:26,021

Boo.

00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:27,815

Now, who was that?

00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:30,401

That is not

appropriate behavior, okay.

00:02:30,526 --> 00:02:32,653

[as Mackey]

I'm sorry,

Mr. Mackey, okay.

00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:35,364

That's okay, just don't

let it happen again.

00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:38,159

[as Mackey]

We won't let it happen again,

Mr. Mackey, okay.

00:02:38,284 --> 00:02:40,619

Okay, okay,

that's fine.

00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:41,704

[as Mackey] Okay.

00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:42,705

Okay.

00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:43,956

[laughter]

00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:45,666

Now, as

your counselor,

00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:47,751

I'm here to tell you

about drugs and alcohol

00:02:47,877 --> 00:02:49,837

and why

they're bad, okay.

00:02:49,962 --> 00:02:52,506

So first of all,

smoking's bad.

00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:55,759

You shouldn't smoke,

and, uh, alcohol is bad.

00:02:55,885 --> 00:02:57,344

You shouldn't

drink alcohol,

00:02:57,469 --> 00:03:00,181

and as for drugs,

well, drugs are bad.

00:03:00,306 --> 00:03:01,932

You shouldn't

do drugs.

00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:03,517

Okay, now that about

wraps up my introduction.

00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:05,352

Now, are there

any questions?

00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:06,812

Yes, Stan.

00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:08,439

- Why do dogs

have cold noses?

00:03:08,564 --> 00:03:10,482

Uh, well,

I'm not sure.

00:03:10,608 --> 00:03:11,984

Oh.

00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:13,986

Now, let's focus our

discussion first

00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:15,404

on "mari-ju-wana."

00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,114

Mari-ju-wana's bad

00:03:17,239 --> 00:03:19,909

and it also has a very

distinct smell, okay.

00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:22,161

I'm gonna pass around

just a little tiny bit,

00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:24,163

and I want you all

to take a smell

00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:25,539

so you know when someone

00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:27,208

is smoking mari-ju-wana

near you.

00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:29,460

Okay, just take a smell,

pass it on,

00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:30,920

and when it gets

back up to me,

00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:32,379

we'll finish

talking about it.

00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:34,048

In the meantime,

00:03:34,173 --> 00:03:35,341

I want to get into

alcohol a little, okay.

00:03:35,466 --> 00:03:37,218

Alcohol is bad.

00:03:37,343 --> 00:03:39,220

If you drink alcohol...

00:03:39,345 --> 00:03:41,263

Hey, are you guys gonna come

to Ike's party this weekend?

00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:42,556

Your little brother's

having a party?

00:03:42,681 --> 00:03:43,682

Why, is it

his birthday?

00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,017

No, it's his bris.

00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:46,602

What the hell is

a bris?

00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,270

I don't know,

00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:49,855

but there's gonna be lots

of food and a band.

00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:51,398

Oh, kick ass.

I want to have a bris.

00:03:51,523 --> 00:03:53,234

And so, that's why

alcohol is bad.

00:03:53,359 --> 00:03:56,987

Has that mari-ju-wana made it

back up here yet?

00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:58,364

No? Okay.

00:03:58,489 --> 00:04:00,074

Let's talk about LSD.

00:04:00,199 --> 00:04:02,993

Children,

LSD is bad.

00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:04,495

It's a drug

made famous

00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:06,497

by John Lennon and

Paul McCartney.

00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:08,123

Hey, are we supposed to get

00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:09,166

your little brother presents

for a bris?

00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:10,501

Uh, I'm not sure.

00:04:10,626 --> 00:04:11,919

Well, dude, you better

find out.

00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:13,420

Boys, are you

paying attention?

00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:14,797

[as Mackey]

Sorry, Mr. Mackey, okay.

00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,382

Okay.

00:04:16,507 --> 00:04:17,549

Now, children, has that

mari-ju-wana

00:04:17,675 --> 00:04:18,926

made it around

yet?

00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:23,639

Uh, who--who has

the "mari-ju-wana" now?

00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:28,102

Oh-oh--okay, whoever has

the mari-ju-wana,

00:04:28,227 --> 00:04:30,562

just pass it up to

the front row, okay.

00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:33,357

Uh, oh.

00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:35,192

I am very disappointed

in you, young man.

00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:37,069

You should be ashamed

of yourself.

00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:39,113

What could have possessed you

to be so stupid?

00:04:39,238 --> 00:04:41,198

I'm sorry,

Principal Victoria.

00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:42,992

Well, sorry isn't going to

00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:44,994

cut the cheese this time,

Mister.

00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:46,328

I'm afraid I'm going to have

to suspend you from school.

00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,247

You mean

I'm fired?

00:04:48,372 --> 00:04:50,291

Well, I guess that's the

grown-up way to put it, yes.

00:04:50,416 --> 00:04:53,377

But--but it was an honest

error of judgment, okay.

00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,629

I really thought it was

important for the kids to know

00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:57,298

the smell

of mari-ju-wana.

00:04:57,423 --> 00:04:58,882

It was an error of judgment,

Mr. Mackey,

00:04:59,008 --> 00:05:00,801

but I'm afraid I have to

let you go for it.

00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:03,137

We searched each one of

those kids, but came up empty.

00:05:03,262 --> 00:05:05,097

We had to

let them go home,

00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:06,390

and one of them now has

half of a lid of Jamaican grass

00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:07,975

because of you!

00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:10,102

How--how am I gonna

make ends meet?

00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,520

Okay.

00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:12,730

What--what will I do

for money?

00:05:12,855 --> 00:05:14,315

There, there, now,

00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:15,941

maybe this will

all blow over someday

00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:17,693

and we can give you

a job as a janitor,

00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,236

cleaning up vomit

with that pink sawdust stuff.

00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:22,448

[sobbing]

Okay.

00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:25,784

Aah!

00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:27,578

Man, that sucked

getting searched.

00:05:27,703 --> 00:05:29,288

Yeah, my ass

is killing me.

00:05:29,413 --> 00:05:30,998

Why did they

search us?

00:05:31,123 --> 00:05:32,374

That mari-ju-wana never even

made it to us.

00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:33,792

I wonder

who took it.

00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:35,586

[playful music]

00:05:35,711 --> 00:05:39,214

And now it's

almost time for Bobo's...

00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:41,759

[laughs]

00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:44,136

Hello there,

children.

00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:45,262

[all together]

Hey, Chef.

00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:46,430

How's it going?

00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:48,307

Bad.

- Why bad?

00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:50,184

- Children, I heard about

what happened at school today.

00:05:50,309 --> 00:05:52,186

Now, none of you took

that nasty marijuana, did you?

00:05:52,311 --> 00:05:53,729

- No, dude,

we never even saw it.

00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,689

- Okay, because I just

want to tell you

00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:57,775

that drugs are bad!

00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,526

We know, we know.

That's what everybody says.

00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:00,944

Right.

00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:02,988

But do you know

why they're bad?

00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,948

Because they're an addictive

solution to a greater problem

00:06:05,074 --> 00:06:06,492

causing disease of both

body and mind with consequences

00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:08,077

far outweighing

their supposed benefits.

00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:10,496

And do you have any idea

what that means?

00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:12,206

No.

00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:14,333

I know, drugs are bad

because if you do drugs,

00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:16,293

you're a hippie,

and hippies suck.

00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:18,796

Look, children, this is all

I'm gonna say about drugs:

00:06:18,921 --> 00:06:20,464

stay away from them!

00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:23,050

There's a time and a place

for everything,

00:06:23,175 --> 00:06:24,843

and it's called

"college."

00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:26,553

Do you understand?

00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:27,805

[all together]

Dude.

00:06:27,930 --> 00:06:29,598

Okay.

00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,141

Hey, are you gonna come to

Ike's bris this weekend?

00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:33,018

Oh, hell no,

I can't bear to see that.

00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:34,603

What do you mean?

00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,063

Don't you boys know

what a bris is?

00:06:36,188 --> 00:06:37,439

They're going

to circumcise him.

00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:38,857

What's that?

00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:41,193

Oh, boy,

here we go again.

00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:43,695

Children,

uh...

00:06:43,821 --> 00:06:45,989

what's the one thing that's

more sacred to a man

00:06:46,115 --> 00:06:47,699

than anything else

in the world?

00:06:47,825 --> 00:06:49,493

Uh...bicycles?

00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:50,953

Ham?

00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,413

No, not ham,

you fat [bleep].

00:06:52,538 --> 00:06:53,539

Screw you!

It's ham, isn't it?

00:06:53,664 --> 00:06:55,541

No, no, no, children.

00:06:55,666 --> 00:06:57,709

I'm talking about the most

important part of a man's body.

00:06:57,835 --> 00:07:00,587

Your heart?

- Your eyes.

00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:01,839

Oh!

[mumbling]

00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:03,257

That's right.

00:07:03,382 --> 00:07:04,633

Hey! My mom says you're not

supposed

00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,260

to call it a "penis,"

Kenny!

00:07:06,385 --> 00:07:07,261

You're supposed

to call it a "fireman."

00:07:07,386 --> 00:07:08,762

- A "fireman"?

00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:10,180

- That's the proper

way to say it,

00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:11,265

or else

you get a spanking.

00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:12,766

- Damn it, children.

00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,268

Why do I always

have to be the one

00:07:14,393 --> 00:07:15,853

to explain all this

stuff to you?

00:07:15,978 --> 00:07:17,813

Ask your parents for once.

- Hey, wait!

00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:20,149

Dude, something tells me

this bris thing isn't good.

00:07:21,692 --> 00:07:23,610

Hey, Mackey,

you got any more pot?

00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,446

My four-year-old

needs a fix.

00:07:25,571 --> 00:07:26,488

[laughs]

00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,407

- Hey, Mackey!

00:07:28,532 --> 00:07:30,492

Now we see what you and

Homer Simpson have in common:

00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,161

"dope"!

[laughs]

00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:33,745

Hey, Mackey!

00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:34,872

Who do you

think you are?

00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:37,207

[all yelling at once]

00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:38,917

Hey, hippie,

you gonna do some drugs?

00:07:39,042 --> 00:07:40,711

[whimpers]

00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:45,382

I don't think I've seen you

around here before.

00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:48,552

No, I just--

I had to get away, okay.

00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:50,012

I just

lost my job.

00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:51,472

Oh, that's weak, man.

00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:52,848

You know

what you need?

00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,391

You need a good

stiff drink.

00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:56,602

Oh, I-I-I don't

drink, okay?

00:07:56,727 --> 00:07:59,855

Trust me, man,

it'll make you feel better.

00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,107

Drinking's bad.

00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:04,151

Go ahead,

drink the beer.

00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:06,945

It'll calm

you down.

00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:08,572

Yeah,

why the hell not?

00:08:08,697 --> 00:08:09,990

It's just a beer.

00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:11,825

Don't be such

a pussy, okay.

00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:16,288

So how do you feel?

00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:17,498

[belches]

00:08:17,623 --> 00:08:19,124

Oh, about the same.

00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:20,375

Oh, you just need something

a little stronger.

00:08:21,627 --> 00:08:23,045

Kyle, you have

to stop them.

00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:24,588

Stop who?

00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:26,048

Dude, I found out

what a bris is.

00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,132

I found out what they're

gonna do to Ike.

00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:28,634

What?

00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:29,760

They're gonna chop off

his wee-wee.

00:08:29,885 --> 00:08:31,678

[dramatic musical tones]

00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:33,639

Chop of his wee-wee!

Are you sure?

00:08:33,764 --> 00:08:35,432

Yeah, dude,

it's a Jewish tradition.

00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:36,892

It's called

a "circum-stision."

00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,852

Dude,

that is not cool!

00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:40,729

Chopping off wee-wees

is not cool!

00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,105

That can't be true.

00:08:42,231 --> 00:08:43,690

My parents

wouldn't do that.

00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:45,400

Dude, I asked

five different people.

00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:47,110

They said all Jewish boys

have "circum-stisions"

00:08:47,236 --> 00:08:48,987

and they make it into a party

called a bris.

00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:51,114

Dude, you don't just chop

off somebody's fireman.

00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:52,658

I won't believe it.

I won't!

00:08:52,783 --> 00:08:54,201

I have to ask

my mom and dad!

00:08:55,494 --> 00:08:57,955

♪ We are young,

okay ♪

00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:00,123

♪ Heartache

to heartache ♪

00:09:00,249 --> 00:09:02,125

♪ We stand, okay ♪

00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:06,463

♪ No promises, no demands,

mands, mands, okay ♪

00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:07,673

Uh...

00:09:07,798 --> 00:09:09,174

Is this my house?

00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:10,801

Your key ain't

gonna work, Mackey.

00:09:10,926 --> 00:09:12,177

I changed the locks!

00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:13,720

Why,

Mr. Freely?

00:09:13,845 --> 00:09:15,347

I'm not renting

to you anymore!

00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:16,974

I heard that you got fired

from your job

00:09:17,099 --> 00:09:18,642

for selling drugs

to children.

00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:22,312

No, no, no, okay.

It wasn't like that.

00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:24,356

Drugs are an

illegal narcotic,

00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:26,024

and having

never taken drugs,

00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:28,235

I can say that

they have nothing to offer.

00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,529

But I've never

taken drugs, either.

00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:32,364

I've never taken drugs,

and look at me,

00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:33,824

I'm totally fine.

00:09:33,949 --> 00:09:35,367

Now, get off my property

00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:37,160

before I lose control

and kill you!

00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,289

Ow!

Okay?

00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:41,623

Drug user!

00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,375

Drug user!

Come back here!

00:09:46,545 --> 00:09:47,921

Just

a little higher.

00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:48,964

Mom, Dad!

00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,173

Oh, hi,

boobala.

00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:51,800

I'm glad

you're here.

00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,218

You can help us

decorate for the party.

00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:54,636

Your mother's

made GaHekgafuga.

00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,763

What the hell is GaHekgafuga?

00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:59,766

Mom, Dad, what exactly

is this party for?

00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:03,604

To celebrate your little

brother's passage into life.

00:10:03,729 --> 00:10:05,230

Meaning what?

00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:06,773

Meaning we're going

to circumcise him.

00:10:06,898 --> 00:10:08,650

They are gonna

cut off his fireman.

00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:10,736

It's Jewish

tradition, booby.

00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:12,654

Normally we do it

right after the baby is born,

00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,698

but we had to do it later

for Ike because he's a--

00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:16,658

Ahh!

00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:21,496

Oh, now,

what's gotten into him?

00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:22,956

Stan, will you go

talk to him?

00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:27,544

[both] Let us cut off

your pee-pee, Stan.

00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:30,005

[all scream]

00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,466

Oy, what is the matter

with them?

00:10:32,591 --> 00:10:34,343

I can't believe my parents

are cannibals.

00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:35,802

What are you

gonna do, dude?

00:10:35,927 --> 00:10:37,220

I have to save

my little brother.

00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:38,597

I have to send him away until

00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:39,931

my parents come to their

senses.

00:10:40,057 --> 00:10:41,767

Come on, Ike.

- [baby chatter]

00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:43,477

Cover me

for a while.

00:10:43,602 --> 00:10:44,478

I'll find a place

to hide him and come back.

00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:46,063

No way, dude.

00:10:46,188 --> 00:10:47,439

We're not staying alone

in your house

00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:49,066

with your wee-wee

chopping parents.

00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:50,817

Just give me 30 minutes.

Come on, Ike.

00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:54,946

[sighs] I can't sleep.

It's too cold, okay.

00:10:55,072 --> 00:10:56,907

- Hey, you want something

to warm you up?

00:10:57,032 --> 00:10:59,534

Oh, uh, I didn't know this

dark alley was taken.

00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:02,496

Here, try this.

It'll warm you up.

00:11:02,621 --> 00:11:03,997

Mari-ju-wana's bad.

00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,874

What?

00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,293

Mari-ju-wana makes you feel

depressed and low, okay.

00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:10,170

And you don't feel

that way now?

00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:11,296

Huh. Good point.

00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:16,426

[gasps]

00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:19,388

N--I don't

feel any diff--ooh.

00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:21,848

Ooh, baby,

get down, okay.

00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:24,601

Uh-huh.

- Man, this alley is cool.

00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:27,229

It's so alive

and beautiful.

00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,355

Oh, boy.

00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:31,066

Come on, Ike. Hurry up.

00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,734

[baby chatter]

00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,569

Where's the next train going?

00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:36,029

Lincoln, Nebraska.

Train leaves in five minutes.

00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:37,531

You want to go

to Nebraska, Ike?

00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:39,199

No.

00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:40,367

I need one ticket

for my little brother.

00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:41,868

That's a little brother?

00:11:41,993 --> 00:11:43,203

I thought it was

a trash can or something.

00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:44,204

What's wrong

with his head?

00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:46,081

Huh?

00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,332

I'm sorry, but we just can't

throw Caucasian babies

00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,126

on an

outbound train.

00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:50,752

But my parents are gonna

cut off his ding-dong.

00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,295

What? Why the hell would

they do that?

00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:53,922

They've just gone crazy

for a while.

00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,382

Please, Mister, I have to hide

my brother

00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:56,800

until they come to

their senses.

00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:58,093

No can do, sonny.

- Damn it!

00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:01,680

[bell dinging]

00:12:01,805 --> 00:12:03,598

Ike, if you want

to keep your penis,

00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:05,100

you have to

get on this train.

00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,435

[train whistle blows]

00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:07,853

Ready, Ike?

Kick the baby!

00:12:07,978 --> 00:12:09,938

Don't kick the baby.

00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,690

Good-bye, Ike,

be safe!

00:12:11,815 --> 00:12:13,233

I'll come find you

in Nebraska

00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:14,401

when Mom and Dad

are back to normal.

00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:15,527

Bye, bye.

00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:20,073

Oh, man,

where am I?

00:12:20,198 --> 00:12:22,075

Hey, wow.

00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,785

It's that counselor from the

elementary school, Mr. Mackey.

00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,203

Wow, dude.

00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:26,705

Hi, boys,

how are you today?

00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,206

Pretty good, man.

How are you?

00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:29,833

Oh, I've

been better.

00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:31,668

I've been kicked out of town

for doing drugs.

00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:33,128

Hey, us too.

00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:34,796

Yeah, remember?

00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,006

You caught us smoking weed

in the bathroom

00:12:36,131 --> 00:12:37,424

and got us

suspended.

00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:39,926

Oh. Oh, fortune,

how you mock me.

00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:42,012

Cheer up, bro, all you need

is some clear liquid

00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:43,388

to get

your head straight.

00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:46,308

- Uh, boys,

LSD is bad.

00:12:47,184 --> 00:12:49,644

Mm.

00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:53,356

Who put all this

cotton in my mouth?

00:12:53,482 --> 00:12:55,984

Yeah, baby.

00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,445

The world

is so small.

00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:01,823

I'm free.

00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:03,784

I'm free.

00:13:03,909 --> 00:13:05,368

Sweet, dude,

totally killer.

00:13:05,494 --> 00:13:06,995

That guy's

totally tripping.

00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,416

- There,

what do you think?

00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:12,751

What the hell's

that supposed to be?

00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:14,294

I'm making

a dummy Ike doll.

00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:15,921

My parents think he's out

with me right now

00:13:16,046 --> 00:13:17,839

and I have to

bring him back for dinner.

00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:19,674

Dude, I think your mom's

gonna notice that isn't Ike.

00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,635

Not if I say he's sick

and put him to bed right away.

00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,386

No, go away.

bad bog.

00:13:23,512 --> 00:13:25,138

Dude, what did you make

that doll out of?

00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:26,598

I used a bunch of bones

from the butcher shop.

00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:28,725

Is that why it

stinks so bad?

00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:30,811

Hi, boys.

00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:32,395

[all together]

Hi, Mr. Mackey.

00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:34,523

Are you boys

staying out of trouble?

00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,233

[together]

Yes!

00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:39,694

Okay, I'm just gonna go

over here for a while.

00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,488

Anyways, I need

you guys to help me

00:13:41,613 --> 00:13:43,824

so that my parents

don't realize Ike is gone.

00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:45,742

Knock it off,

asshole!

00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:47,536

No way! I'm never going back

to your parent's house.

00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:48,537

Come on, dude, if it were

your little brother,

00:13:48,662 --> 00:13:49,621

we'd help you.

00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:51,498

[grunts]

00:13:51,623 --> 00:13:52,916

Wait a minute,

no, you wouldn't!

00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:55,293

[train whistle toots]

00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:58,421

Ouch.

Ow.

00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:01,299

Would you look

at that, honey?

00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:04,427

Somebody dropped off

a perfectly good trash can.

00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:05,804

Yeah.

00:14:05,929 --> 00:14:07,305

[baby chatter]

00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:10,016

Booby, where have

you been?

00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:11,768

Dinner's been ready

for five minutes.

00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:13,436

- Sorry, Mom, I just

had to deal with Ike.

00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:14,855

He's been cranky.

00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:16,731

How is my

little jelly bean?

00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:18,567

[fake baby chatter]

00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:20,193

I'm gonna take him up to

the bathroom to get washed up.

00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:22,153

Okay, but first let Mommy

give you a kiss.

00:14:23,238 --> 00:14:25,115

No, Mom, he doesn't

want you kissing him.

00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,200

[shrieks]

00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:28,618

Oh, my God,

make him stop!

00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:29,870

Put it down,

you stupid dog!

00:14:29,995 --> 00:14:32,247

My baby.

Oh, God!

00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,332

Get out of here, you mutt,

let him go!

00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:38,128

Oh, my baby!

Boobala...

00:14:38,253 --> 00:14:39,546

[screams]

00:14:39,671 --> 00:14:41,715

Baby!

- Huh?

00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,009

[tires squealing,

screaming]

00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:45,260

[explosion]

00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,804

Oh, he's dead.

He's dead.

00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:50,140

My little

boobala's dead.

00:14:50,265 --> 00:14:53,310

here, there, Sheila.

There's nothing we can do.

00:14:53,435 --> 00:14:54,936

[crying]

00:14:58,356 --> 00:14:59,733

"Yea, usher us

unto the Lord,"

00:14:59,858 --> 00:15:01,359

sayeth some

Jewish guy once.

00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:04,029

Ashes to ashes,

dust to dust.

00:15:04,154 --> 00:15:07,032

["Hava Nagila" on bagpipes]

00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:10,619

♪♪

00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,495

Hey,

wait a minute.

00:15:12,621 --> 00:15:14,331

How come Ike's tombstone

has a Canadian flag on it?

00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:16,333

Well, booby, there's

something you have to know.

00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:18,960

Ike wasn't really your brother.

He was adopted.

00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,462

What?

00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:21,463

He was not really

a Broflovski.

00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:22,881

He was Canadian.

00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:24,007

But we loved him

all the same.

00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:25,634

[cries]

00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:27,344

You mean to tell me

that all this time

00:15:27,469 --> 00:15:28,386

I've been trying to

protect Ike from having

00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:29,721

his fireman cut off,

00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:31,097

and he's not even

my real brother?

00:15:31,222 --> 00:15:32,724

What are you

talking about?

00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:35,310

Dude, Ike isn't dead.

He's in Nebraska.

00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,978

What, what, what?

00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:38,772

Dude, you shouldn't have

told them that.

00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:40,273

Now they're gonna find him

and cut off his penis.

00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:41,733

"Fireman."

- Oh, who the hell cares?

00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:42,734

He's not even

my responsibility.

00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:45,487

[yelps]

00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,656

Oh, my God.

They've killed Kenny!

00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:49,574

You bastards.

00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:52,118

Yea, let us ponder

the Lord's mercies.

00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:53,745

Ashes to ashes,

dust to dust.

00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:55,413

[plays "Hava Nagila

on bagpipes"]

00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:02,796

Get out of the way,

you damn hippie.

00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:03,922

- I don't need to take your

right wing,

00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:05,423

authoritative bullshit.

00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:07,008

What?

00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,927

You're just like

the government, man,

00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:11,680

trying to prosecute out

one side of your mouth, okay.

00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:14,849

While supporting guns

out of the other, okay.

00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:17,560

Eh, why don't you go to

a Grateful Dead concert?

00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:21,272

I can't, man.

Jer-bear's dead, okay.

00:16:21,398 --> 00:16:24,359

Hey, man,

I overheard what you said.

00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:25,777

That was cool.

00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:27,821

What?

Oh, thanks, man.

00:16:27,946 --> 00:16:31,199

Would you like to come over

to my place and finger paint?

00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,450

Sure, man.

00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:35,745

Finger painting's cool, okay.

00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,669

Now, where did you

leave him, young man?

00:16:42,794 --> 00:16:44,462

How the hell

should I know?

00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:46,631

Gerald, do something about

your smart-ass son.

00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:49,551

Uh, mind your mother,

smart-ass.

00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,136

If we don't find him,

so help me,

00:16:51,261 --> 00:16:53,221

you're gonna be

grounded for a month!

00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,598

All this time, "look out

for your little brother, Kyle,"

00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:57,225

"Take care of your

little brother, Kyle,"

00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:58,727

and he wasn't even

really my little brother!

00:16:58,852 --> 00:17:00,228

Kyle, just because

Ike is adopted

00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:01,813

doesn't make him

any less your brother.

00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:03,398

Yeah, right.

00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,066

Excuse me.

00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:07,027

We're looking for

a two-year-old Canadian boy.

00:17:07,152 --> 00:17:09,237

Two-year-old Canadian boy,

two-year-old Canadian boy...

00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,781

Oh, I think they might have

one of those down at Hap's Bar.

00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:13,074

Come on!

00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:22,000

Ike!

00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:23,501

[baby chatter]

00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:25,336

Hey, lady,

that's my table post!

00:17:25,462 --> 00:17:26,671

You can't have that!

00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:31,468

Wow, man.

00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:33,261

You know, it's like,

00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,888

you go through life thinking

00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:36,723

that you're an individual,

okay.

00:17:36,848 --> 00:17:38,933

Then you realize that

you're more than that, okay?

00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:42,020

We're all just one big

individual, okay?

00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:46,608

Let's get married and

have a honeymoon in India.

00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:49,402

Okay.

00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:53,782

- Now, you march to your room

00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:55,784

and you think about

what you've done!

00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:57,744

But first apologize

to your brother.

00:17:57,869 --> 00:17:59,079

He's not my brother!

00:17:59,204 --> 00:18:00,413

Apologize to him!

00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:01,664

I'm sorry, Ike.

00:18:01,790 --> 00:18:02,832

[baby chatter]

00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:11,257

Wow, this is so beautiful.

00:18:11,382 --> 00:18:13,134

I am one with the animals

00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,552

and the trees.

00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:16,679

And I am one with you.

00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:20,016

♪ At long last

I have found ♪

00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:22,977

♪ A true reason

to be ♪

00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:25,980

♪ Now I feel

I can start anew-- ♪

00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:27,232

Oh! Oh!

00:18:27,357 --> 00:18:29,609

Ow, hey!

[grunts]

00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:30,944

Whoa.

00:18:31,069 --> 00:18:33,238

[grunts] Okay.

00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:34,614

What the hell's

going on?

00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:35,990

Tough love, Mr. Mackey.

00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:37,408

We're taking you

to rehab.

00:18:37,534 --> 00:18:38,910

I don't want to

go to rehab.

00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:40,745

I haven't even

done drugs in weeks.

00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:42,455

We were wrong for

shunning you, Mr. Mackey,

00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:44,165

and we apologize.

00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,084

We should've realized

that you needed help.

00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:48,086

Yeah, now we'll make sure

you get the help you need.

00:18:48,211 --> 00:18:49,629

I don't want help!

00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:51,297

You'll thank us later.

00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:55,426

Hello, Tom.

Hello, Patty.

00:18:55,552 --> 00:18:57,053

Thanks for coming

to Ike's bris.

00:18:57,178 --> 00:18:59,389

Look, Ike,

it's your Uncle Murray.

00:18:59,514 --> 00:19:00,765

Hello, Ike.

00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:02,559

Say, where's little Kyle?

00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:04,602

He's been sent to his room

for being a bastard.

00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:07,021

He's decided that Ike isn't

his brother since he's adopted.

00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:09,566

Hi, there.

- Hello, do I know you?

00:19:09,691 --> 00:19:11,151

Oh, no,

but I never miss a bris.

00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:12,360

Here, I brought

some dip.

00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:14,195

Oh, thanks.

00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,030

Well, I guess the chopping

is about to commence.

00:19:16,156 --> 00:19:17,407

[baby chatter]]

00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:18,825

What do you want?

00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:22,078

[baby chatter]

00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:25,999

Oh, no, you don't.

00:19:26,124 --> 00:19:27,667

That isn't gonna

work on me, Canadian.

00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:29,460

Maybe you're being

too hard on him, dude.

00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:30,587

No way, there's no

real connection between us.

00:19:30,712 --> 00:19:31,671

It was all a big lie.

00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:33,006

Cookie Monster.

00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:35,258

Two, three,

four, five...

00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:36,885

Go on, Canadian,

beat it!

00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:38,136

I'm through getting

in trouble for you!

00:19:38,261 --> 00:19:40,430

[baby chatter]

00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:43,683

You have to admit

you have a problem

00:19:43,808 --> 00:19:45,310

before anybody

can help you.

00:19:45,435 --> 00:19:47,729

But I don't think

I really have a problem.

00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:49,439

Nonsense,

you did drugs.

00:19:49,564 --> 00:19:51,024

I suppose you forgot

all about your family?

00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:52,692

I don't really

have a family.

00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:54,152

And you

lost your job.

00:19:54,277 --> 00:19:55,778

No, I lost my job

before that.

00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:57,739

Mr. Mackey, you're

supposed to be an adult.

00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:58,948

The problem with drugs is that

people forget

00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:00,867

to stop doing

them.

00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:02,243

There's a time and a place

for everything, Mr. Mackey,

00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:03,828

and it's called

"college."

00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:05,914

Now I want you

to repeat after me:

00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:08,082

drugs are bad.

00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:10,001

Drugs are bad.

00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:12,962

Drugs are bad.

00:20:13,087 --> 00:20:15,089

Drugs are bad.

00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,509

Hello, Dr. Schwartz.

00:20:18,635 --> 00:20:20,011

Thank you so much

for coming all this way

00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:21,679

to perform Ike's bris.

00:20:21,804 --> 00:20:23,223

Oh, my pleasure, Sheila.

00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:24,933

I brought the normal

cutting device,

00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:27,143

but then I remembered

that Ike was Canadian,

00:20:27,268 --> 00:20:28,686

so I brought

the right one.

00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:30,188

Where is the little rug-rat?

00:20:30,313 --> 00:20:32,565

Right over here.

00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:33,775

Come here, you.

00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:35,485

Ow!

00:20:35,610 --> 00:20:37,111

[baby chatter]

00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:41,699

Ike!

00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:43,243

Ike!

00:20:43,368 --> 00:20:46,829

[baby chatter]

00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:52,377

There you are.

Come on, Ike, it's time.

00:20:54,212 --> 00:20:56,130

You stay away

from my little brother!

00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:57,715

But son, I just--

00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,175

You aren't gonna

cut off his wee-wee!

00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:00,718

Not today,

you sick-ass weirdo!

00:21:00,843 --> 00:21:02,345

Kyle, what are you

talking about?

00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:04,597

And you! You should be

ashamed of yourself.

00:21:04,722 --> 00:21:06,266

Don't you understand

that us males

00:21:06,391 --> 00:21:07,892

are defined

by our firemen?

00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:10,520

Yes, the fireman

is very magical.

00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:13,022

If you rub his helmet,

he spits in your eye.

00:21:14,649 --> 00:21:16,192

Kyle, a circumcision

00:21:16,317 --> 00:21:18,528

is a very common thing

for Ike to have.

00:21:18,653 --> 00:21:20,863

His father had it,

his grandfather had it,

00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:23,658

and his brother had it.

00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:24,993

No!

00:21:25,118 --> 00:21:26,452

No, it isn't true!

00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:28,079

We're not going to

cut it off.

00:21:28,204 --> 00:21:29,914

We're just gonna snip it

so that it looks bigger.

00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,501

Oh, hey, that doesn't

sound like a bad idea.

00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,545

Yeah, I want to get

a "circum-stision" too.

00:21:38,381 --> 00:21:39,674

Congratulations,

Mr. Mackey.

00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:41,467

You are fully recovered.

00:21:41,592 --> 00:21:43,469

I can't thank you enough

for everything, okay.

00:21:43,594 --> 00:21:45,555

I feel like

my old self again.

00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,391

Just one

more thing...

00:21:48,516 --> 00:21:50,935

Remember that

you can stay sober.

00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:52,937

I will,

Miss Social Worker.

00:21:53,062 --> 00:21:55,315

I will, okay.

00:21:56,357 --> 00:21:57,567

It's okay, Ike,

I'm here.

00:21:57,692 --> 00:22:00,236

And a one and a two

and a...

00:22:00,361 --> 00:22:01,404

Bris!

00:22:01,529 --> 00:22:04,449

Ouch.

[baby chatter]

00:22:04,574 --> 00:22:05,783

Cookie Monster.

00:22:05,908 --> 00:22:07,702

Ike, you're okay.

00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:09,620

Wow, dude, I guess having

a bris isn't all that bad.

00:22:09,746 --> 00:22:11,289

Yeah, you know,

I've learned something today.

00:22:11,414 --> 00:22:12,707

Family isn't

about whose blood you have.

00:22:12,832 --> 00:22:13,833

It's about

who you care about.

00:22:13,958 --> 00:22:15,293

Yeah.

00:22:15,418 --> 00:22:17,045

And that's why I feel you

guys

00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:18,087

are more than just

friends; you're my family.

00:22:18,212 --> 00:22:19,505

Except for Cartman.

00:22:19,630 --> 00:22:21,466

Naturally.

- Screw you, guys!

00:22:21,591 --> 00:22:22,675

I don't want to be in your

penis chopping family anyway!

00:22:25,636 --> 00:22:26,929

And so now, children,

00:22:27,055 --> 00:22:28,723

your school counselor

is back

00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:31,351

to tell you firsthand

about his nasty experience

00:22:31,476 --> 00:22:33,644

with drugs and alcohol.

00:22:33,770 --> 00:22:36,981

Okay, kids,

you shouldn't do drugs, okay.

00:22:37,106 --> 00:22:38,691

Drugs are bad.

00:22:38,816 --> 00:22:40,360

You see, I was at

the bottom of the barrel.

00:22:40,485 --> 00:22:41,861

I was a wreck.

00:22:41,986 --> 00:22:43,488

Well, I didn't even

care about money.

00:22:43,613 --> 00:22:45,615

I was--I was wasting

my life...

00:22:45,740 --> 00:22:47,617

Hey, you guys want to come

to my bris tomorrow?

00:22:47,742 --> 00:22:48,910

You can't have

your bris tomorrow, Cartman.

00:22:49,035 --> 00:22:50,495

That's when

I'm having mine.

00:22:50,620 --> 00:22:52,163

No way, I set up

mine first, hippie!

00:22:52,288 --> 00:22:54,207

Now, boys, you need

to listen up, okay.

00:22:54,332 --> 00:22:57,251

What I'm talking about might

save your life someday, okay.

00:22:57,377 --> 00:22:59,212

[as Mackey]

Okay, Mr. Mackey, okay.

00:22:59,337 --> 00:23:00,671

Okay.

- [as Mackey] Okay.

00:23:00,797 --> 00:23:02,256

Okay.

- [as Mackey] Okay.

00:23:02,382 --> 00:23:03,800

Okay.

00:23:03,925 --> 00:23:06,302

Now, as I was saying,

drugs are bad.

00:23:06,427 --> 00:23:07,845

You shouldn't

do drugs.

00:23:07,970 --> 00:23:10,431

If you do them, you're bad.

00:23:10,556 --> 00:23:12,517

Because drugs are bad, okay.

00:23:12,642 --> 00:23:14,310

It's a bad thing

to do, drugs,

00:23:14,435 --> 00:23:16,687

so don't be bad

by doing drugs, okay.

00:23:16,813 --> 00:23:18,272

That'd be bad.

00:23:18,398 --> 00:23:20,608

Drugs are bad, okay.

00:23:20,733 --> 00:23:23,611

[funky music]

00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:30,743

♪♪