Пиписька Айка — Друзья выясняют, что такое обрезание. Кайл узнает, что его брат Айк — приёмный. Мистер Маки уходит из школы и экспериментирует с наркотиками.

Предыдущая серия S02 E02 Мамаша Картмана по-прежнему грязная шлюха

Следующая серия S02 E04 Куролюб

Пиписька Айка

Ike’s Wee Wee

Сезон: 02Серия: 03

Описание

Друзья выясняют, что такое обрезание. Кайл узнает, что его брат Айк — приёмный. Мистер Маки уходит из школы и экспериментирует с наркотиками.

Субтитры

00:00:07,717 --> 00:00:09,760 - ♪ Let's raise the roof, whoo-whoo ♪
00:00:09,885 --> 00:00:11,012 ♪ Let's raise the roof ♪
00:00:11,137 --> 00:00:12,555 ♪ Whoo-whoo-whoo ♪
00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:13,931 ♪ Raise the roof, whoo-whoo ♪
00:00:14,056 --> 00:00:15,766 ♪ Yeah, boy, yeah, boy ♪
00:00:15,891 --> 00:00:17,018 ♪ Say oh ♪
00:00:17,143 --> 00:00:18,227 ♪ Oh ♪
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:19,645 - ♪ Say oh oh ♪
00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:20,771 ♪ Oh oh ♪
00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:22,231 - ♪ Say uh uh uh ♪
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:23,441 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
00:00:23,566 --> 00:00:24,608 ♪ Whoo ♪
00:00:24,734 --> 00:00:26,235 Oh, you're back already.
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,903 Wasn't that episode a hoot and a holler?
00:00:28,029 --> 00:00:29,739 This next episode is called "Ike's Wee Wee,"
00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:31,574 and it's all about the courage of one man in facing
00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:33,534 his bitter addiction and coming to terms with life
00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:35,911 before he loses everything he loves.
00:00:36,037 --> 00:00:37,038 And Ike's wee wee.
00:00:37,163 --> 00:00:38,330 Right.
00:00:38,456 --> 00:00:39,957 I have to go to the bathroom.
00:00:40,082 --> 00:00:41,959 What did I say?
00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:45,171 I said calm down, or I'm gonna be forced to use ninja star.
00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:47,423 Anyway, this episode also deals with the very important
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,258 subject matter of circumcision.
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:51,469 That's when they take a knife and cut a slit
00:00:51,594 --> 00:00:53,387 right down the middle of your penis
00:00:53,512 --> 00:00:55,306 slicing it into two halves, and then they take the two
00:00:55,431 --> 00:00:56,640 halves and tie them in a little bow.
00:00:56,766 --> 00:00:57,892 No, they don't.
00:00:58,017 --> 00:00:59,351 Huh?
00:00:59,477 --> 00:01:01,979 Dude, that's not what they do.
00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:04,607 Is that what they did to you?
00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:07,068 Well...well, yeah, that's what they do to everybody,
00:01:07,193 --> 00:01:08,194 isn't it?
00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:11,489 No.
00:01:14,784 --> 00:01:17,328 Dude, now I know why that Sally chick calls you the pretzel.
00:01:17,453 --> 00:01:19,163 Shut up!
00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:21,248 - Well, anyway, this episode is certainly gonna--
00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:23,042 I have to go to.
00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:24,668 God damn it! Will you just give us two minutes?
00:01:24,794 --> 00:01:26,879 I can't wait two minutes. - That's it.
00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:29,298 Ninja star!
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:32,218 Ahh.
00:01:33,677 --> 00:01:38,432 Well, anyway, sit back, relax, and enjoy "Ike's Wee Wee."
00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:40,518 ♪ Raise the roof, whoo-whoo ♪
00:01:40,643 --> 00:01:42,770 ♪ Raise the roof, say whoo-whoo-whoo ♪
00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:54,240 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:01:54,365 --> 00:01:56,242 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
00:01:56,367 --> 00:01:57,952 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:01:58,077 --> 00:01:59,495 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:00,955 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:02,790 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:02:02,915 --> 00:02:04,500 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,001 ♪ People spouting: "Howdy neighbor!" ♪
00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:07,503 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,255 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:02:12,550 --> 00:02:13,926 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,719 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
00:02:17,096 --> 00:02:19,348 Okay, children, let's take our seats.
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:22,059 This morning we're gonna have a special lecture
00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:24,979 from your school counselor, Mr. Mackey.
00:02:25,104 --> 00:02:26,021 Boo.
00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:27,815 Now, who was that?
00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:30,401 That is not appropriate behavior, okay.
00:02:30,526 --> 00:02:32,653 I'm sorry, Mr. Mackey, okay.
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:35,364 That's okay, just don't let it happen again.
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:38,159 We won't let it happen again, Mr. Mackey, okay.
00:02:38,284 --> 00:02:40,619 Okay, okay, that's fine.
00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:41,704 Okay.
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:42,705 Okay.
00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:45,666 Now, as your counselor,
00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:47,751 I'm here to tell you about drugs and alcohol
00:02:47,877 --> 00:02:49,837 and why they're bad, okay.
00:02:49,962 --> 00:02:52,506 So first of all, smoking's bad.
00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:55,759 You shouldn't smoke, and, uh, alcohol is bad.
00:02:55,885 --> 00:02:57,344 You shouldn't drink alcohol,
00:02:57,469 --> 00:03:00,181 and as for drugs, well, drugs are bad.
00:03:00,306 --> 00:03:01,932 You shouldn't do drugs.
00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:03,517 Okay, now that about wraps up my introduction.
00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:05,352 Now, are there any questions?
00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:06,812 Yes, Stan.
00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:08,439 - Why do dogs have cold noses?
00:03:08,564 --> 00:03:10,482 Uh, well, I'm not sure.
00:03:10,608 --> 00:03:11,984 Oh.
00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:13,986 Now, let's focus our discussion first
00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:15,404 on "mari-ju-wana."
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,114 Mari-ju-wana's bad
00:03:17,239 --> 00:03:19,909 and it also has a very distinct smell, okay.
00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:22,161 I'm gonna pass around just a little tiny bit,
00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:24,163 and I want you all to take a smell
00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:25,539 so you know when someone
00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:27,208 is smoking mari-ju-wana near you.
00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:29,460 Okay, just take a smell, pass it on,
00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:30,920 and when it gets back up to me,
00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:32,379 we'll finish talking about it.
00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:34,048 In the meantime,
00:03:34,173 --> 00:03:35,341 I want to get into alcohol a little, okay.
00:03:35,466 --> 00:03:37,218 Alcohol is bad.
00:03:37,343 --> 00:03:39,220 If you drink alcohol...
00:03:39,345 --> 00:03:41,263 Hey, are you guys gonna come to Ike's party this weekend?
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:42,556 Your little brother's having a party?
00:03:42,681 --> 00:03:43,682 Why, is it his birthday?
00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,017 No, it's his bris.
00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:46,602 What the hell is a bris?
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,270 I don't know,
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:49,855 but there's gonna be lots of food and a band.
00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:51,398 Oh, kick ass. I want to have a bris.
00:03:51,523 --> 00:03:53,234 And so, that's why alcohol is bad.
00:03:53,359 --> 00:03:56,987 Has that mari-ju-wana made it back up here yet?
00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:58,364 No? Okay.
00:03:58,489 --> 00:04:00,074 Let's talk about LSD.
00:04:00,199 --> 00:04:02,993 Children, LSD is bad.
00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:04,495 It's a drug made famous
00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:06,497 by John Lennon and Paul McCartney.
00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:08,123 Hey, are we supposed to get
00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:09,166 your little brother presents for a bris?
00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:10,501 Uh, I'm not sure.
00:04:10,626 --> 00:04:11,919 Well, dude, you better find out.
00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:13,420 Boys, are you paying attention?
00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:14,797 Sorry, Mr. Mackey, okay.
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,382 Okay.
00:04:16,507 --> 00:04:17,549 Now, children, has that mari-ju-wana
00:04:17,675 --> 00:04:18,926 made it around yet?
00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:23,639 Uh, who--who has the "mari-ju-wana" now?
00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:28,102 Oh-oh--okay, whoever has the mari-ju-wana,
00:04:28,227 --> 00:04:30,562 just pass it up to the front row, okay.
00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:33,357 Uh, oh.
00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:35,192 I am very disappointed in you, young man.
00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:37,069 You should be ashamed of yourself.
00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:39,113 What could have possessed you to be so stupid?
00:04:39,238 --> 00:04:41,198 I'm sorry, Principal Victoria.
00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:42,992 Well, sorry isn't going to
00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:44,994 cut the cheese this time, Mister.
00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:46,328 I'm afraid I'm going to have to suspend you from school.
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,247 You mean I'm fired?
00:04:48,372 --> 00:04:50,291 Well, I guess that's the grown-up way to put it, yes.
00:04:50,416 --> 00:04:53,377 But--but it was an honest error of judgment, okay.
00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,629 I really thought it was important for the kids to know
00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:57,298 the smell of mari-ju-wana.
00:04:57,423 --> 00:04:58,882 It was an error of judgment, Mr. Mackey,
00:04:59,008 --> 00:05:00,801 but I'm afraid I have to let you go for it.
00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:03,137 We searched each one of those kids, but came up empty.
00:05:03,262 --> 00:05:05,097 We had to let them go home,
00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:06,390 and one of them now has half of a lid of Jamaican grass
00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:07,975 because of you!
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:10,102 How--how am I gonna make ends meet?
00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,520 Okay.
00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:12,730 What--what will I do for money?
00:05:12,855 --> 00:05:14,315 There, there, now,
00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:15,941 maybe this will all blow over someday
00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:17,693 and we can give you a job as a janitor,
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,236 cleaning up vomit with that pink sawdust stuff.
00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:22,448 Okay.
00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:25,784 Aah!
00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:27,578 Man, that sucked getting searched.
00:05:27,703 --> 00:05:29,288 Yeah, my ass is killing me.
00:05:29,413 --> 00:05:30,998 Why did they search us?
00:05:31,123 --> 00:05:32,374 That mari-ju-wana never even made it to us.
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:33,792 I wonder who took it.
00:05:35,711 --> 00:05:39,214 <i>And now it's almost time for Bobo's...</i>
00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:44,136 Hello there, children.
00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:45,262 Hey, Chef.
00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:46,430 How's it going?
00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:48,307 Bad. - Why bad?
00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:50,184 - Children, I heard about what happened at school today.
00:05:50,309 --> 00:05:52,186 Now, none of you took that nasty marijuana, did you?
00:05:52,311 --> 00:05:53,729 - No, dude, we never even saw it.
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,689 - Okay, because I just want to tell you
00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:57,775 that drugs are bad!
00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,526 We know, we know. That's what everybody says.
00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:00,944 Right.
00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:02,988 But do you know why they're bad?
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,948 Because they're an addictive solution to a greater problem
00:06:05,074 --> 00:06:06,492 causing disease of both body and mind with consequences
00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:08,077 far outweighing their supposed benefits.
00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:10,496 And do you have any idea what that means?
00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:12,206 No.
00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:14,333 I know, drugs are bad because if you do drugs,
00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:16,293 you're a hippie, and hippies suck.
00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:18,796 Look, children, this is all I'm gonna say about drugs:
00:06:18,921 --> 00:06:20,464 stay away from them!
00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:23,050 There's a time and a place for everything,
00:06:23,175 --> 00:06:24,843 and it's called "college."
00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:26,553 Do you understand?
00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:27,805 Dude.
00:06:27,930 --> 00:06:29,598 Okay.
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,141 Hey, are you gonna come to Ike's bris this weekend?
00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:33,018 Oh, hell no, I can't bear to see that.
00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:34,603 What do you mean?
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,063 Don't you boys know what a bris is?
00:06:36,188 --> 00:06:37,439 They're going to circumcise him.
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:38,857 What's that?
00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:41,193 Oh, boy, here we go again.
00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:43,695 Children, uh...
00:06:43,821 --> 00:06:45,989 what's the one thing that's more sacred to a man
00:06:46,115 --> 00:06:47,699 than anything else in the world?
00:06:47,825 --> 00:06:49,493 Uh...bicycles?
00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:50,953 Ham?
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,413 No, not ham, you fat.
00:06:52,538 --> 00:06:53,539 Screw you! It's ham, isn't it?
00:06:53,664 --> 00:06:55,541 No, no, no, children.
00:06:55,666 --> 00:06:57,709 I'm talking about the most important part of a man's body.
00:06:57,835 --> 00:07:00,587 Your heart? - Your eyes.
00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:01,839 Oh!
00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:03,257 That's right.
00:07:03,382 --> 00:07:04,633 Hey! My mom says you're not supposed
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,260 to call it a "penis," Kenny!
00:07:06,385 --> 00:07:07,261 You're supposed to call it a "fireman."
00:07:07,386 --> 00:07:08,762 - A "fireman"?
00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:10,180 - That's the proper way to say it,
00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:11,265 or else you get a spanking.
00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:12,766 - Damn it, children.
00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,268 Why do I always have to be the one
00:07:14,393 --> 00:07:15,853 to explain all this stuff to you?
00:07:15,978 --> 00:07:17,813 Ask your parents for once. - Hey, wait!
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:20,149 Dude, something tells me this bris thing isn't good.
00:07:21,692 --> 00:07:23,610 Hey, Mackey, you got any more pot?
00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,446 My four-year-old needs a fix.
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,407 - Hey, Mackey!
00:07:28,532 --> 00:07:30,492 Now we see what you and Homer Simpson have in common:
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,161 "dope"!
00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:33,745 Hey, Mackey!
00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:34,872 Who do you think you are?
00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:38,917 Hey, hippie, you gonna do some drugs?
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:45,382 I don't think I've seen you around here before.
00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:48,552 No, I just-- I had to get away, okay.
00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:50,012 I just lost my job.
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:51,472 Oh, that's weak, man.
00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:52,848 You know what you need?
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,391 You need a good stiff drink.
00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:56,602 Oh, I-I-I don't drink, okay?
00:07:56,727 --> 00:07:59,855 Trust me, man, it'll make you feel better.
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,107 Drinking's bad.
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:04,151 Go ahead, drink the beer.
00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:06,945 It'll calm you down.
00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:08,572 Yeah, why the hell not?
00:08:08,697 --> 00:08:09,990 It's just a beer.
00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:11,825 Don't be such a pussy, okay.
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:16,288 So how do you feel?
00:08:17,623 --> 00:08:19,124 Oh, about the same.
00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:20,375 Oh, you just need something a little stronger.
00:08:21,627 --> 00:08:23,045 Kyle, you have to stop them.
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:24,588 Stop who?
00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:26,048 Dude, I found out what a bris is.
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,132 I found out what they're gonna do to Ike.
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:28,634 What?
00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:29,760 They're gonna chop off his wee-wee.
00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:33,639 Chop of his wee-wee! Are you sure?
00:08:33,764 --> 00:08:35,432 Yeah, dude, it's a Jewish tradition.
00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:36,892 It's called a "circum-stision."
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,852 Dude, that is not cool!
00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:40,729 Chopping off wee-wees is not cool!
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,105 That can't be true.
00:08:42,231 --> 00:08:43,690 My parents wouldn't do that.
00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:45,400 Dude, I asked five different people.
00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:47,110 They said all Jewish boys have "circum-stisions"
00:08:47,236 --> 00:08:48,987 and they make it into a party called a bris.
00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:51,114 Dude, you don't just chop off somebody's fireman.
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:52,658 I won't believe it. I won't!
00:08:52,783 --> 00:08:54,201 I have to ask my mom and dad!
00:08:55,494 --> 00:08:57,955 ♪ We are young, okay ♪
00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:00,123 ♪ Heartache to heartache ♪
00:09:00,249 --> 00:09:02,125 ♪ We stand, okay ♪
00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:06,463 ♪ No promises, no demands, mands, mands, okay ♪
00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:07,673 Uh...
00:09:07,798 --> 00:09:09,174 Is this my house?
00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:10,801 Your key ain't gonna work, Mackey.
00:09:10,926 --> 00:09:12,177 I changed the locks!
00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:13,720 Why, Mr. Freely?
00:09:13,845 --> 00:09:15,347 I'm not renting to you anymore!
00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:16,974 I heard that you got fired from your job
00:09:17,099 --> 00:09:18,642 for selling drugs to children.
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:22,312 No, no, no, okay. It wasn't like that.
00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:24,356 Drugs are an illegal narcotic,
00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:26,024 and having never taken drugs,
00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:28,235 I can say that they have nothing to offer.
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,529 But I've never taken drugs, either.
00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:32,364 I've never taken drugs, and look at me,
00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:33,824 I'm totally fine.
00:09:33,949 --> 00:09:35,367 Now, get off my property
00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:37,160 before I lose control and kill you!
00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,289 Ow! Okay?
00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:41,623 Drug user!
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,375 Drug user! Come back here!
00:09:46,545 --> 00:09:47,921 Just a little higher.
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:48,964 Mom, Dad!
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,173 Oh, hi, boobala.
00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:51,800 I'm glad you're here.
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,218 You can help us decorate for the party.
00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:54,636 Your mother's made GaHekgafuga.
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,763 What the hell is GaHekgafuga?
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:59,766 Mom, Dad, what exactly is this party for?
00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:03,604 To celebrate your little brother's passage into life.
00:10:03,729 --> 00:10:05,230 Meaning what?
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:06,773 Meaning we're going to circumcise him.
00:10:06,898 --> 00:10:08,650 They are gonna cut off his fireman.
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:10,736 It's Jewish tradition, booby.
00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:12,654 Normally we do it right after the baby is born,
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,698 but we had to do it later for Ike because he's a--
00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:16,658 Ahh!
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:21,496 Oh, now, what's gotten into him?
00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:22,956 Stan, will you go talk to him?
00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:27,544 Let us cut off your pee-pee, Stan.
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,466 Oy, what is the matter with them?
00:10:32,591 --> 00:10:34,343 I can't believe my parents are cannibals.
00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:35,802 What are you gonna do, dude?
00:10:35,927 --> 00:10:37,220 I have to save my little brother.
00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:38,597 I have to send him away until
00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:39,931 my parents come to their senses.
00:10:40,057 --> 00:10:41,767 Come on, Ike.
00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:43,477 Cover me for a while.
00:10:43,602 --> 00:10:44,478 I'll find a place to hide him and come back.
00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:46,063 No way, dude.
00:10:46,188 --> 00:10:47,439 We're not staying alone in your house
00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:49,066 with your wee-wee chopping parents.
00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:50,817 Just give me 30 minutes. Come on, Ike.
00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:54,946 I can't sleep. It's too cold, okay.
00:10:55,072 --> 00:10:56,907 - Hey, you want something to warm you up?
00:10:57,032 --> 00:10:59,534 Oh, uh, I didn't know this dark alley was taken.
00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:02,496 Here, try this. It'll warm you up.
00:11:02,621 --> 00:11:03,997 Mari-ju-wana's bad.
00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,874 What?
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,293 Mari-ju-wana makes you feel depressed and low, okay.
00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:10,170 And you don't feel that way now?
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:11,296 Huh. Good point.
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:19,388 N--I don't feel any diff--ooh.
00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:21,848 Ooh, baby, get down, okay.
00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:24,601 Uh-huh. - Man, this alley is cool.
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:27,229 It's so alive and beautiful.
00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,355 Oh, boy.
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:31,066 Come on, Ike. Hurry up.
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,569 Where's the next train going?
00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:36,029 Lincoln, Nebraska. Train leaves in five minutes.
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:37,531 You want to go to Nebraska, Ike?
00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:39,199 No.
00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:40,367 I need one ticket for my little brother.
00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:41,868 That's a little brother?
00:11:41,993 --> 00:11:43,203 I thought it was a trash can or something.
00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:44,204 What's wrong with his head?
00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:46,081 Huh?
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,332 I'm sorry, but we just can't throw Caucasian babies
00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,126 on an outbound train.
00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:50,752 But my parents are gonna cut off his ding-dong.
00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,295 What? Why the hell would they do that?
00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:53,922 They've just gone crazy for a while.
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,382 Please, Mister, I have to hide my brother
00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:56,800 until they come to their senses.
00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:58,093 No can do, sonny. - Damn it!
00:12:01,805 --> 00:12:03,598 Ike, if you want to keep your penis,
00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:05,100 you have to get on this train.
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:07,853 Ready, Ike? Kick the baby!
00:12:07,978 --> 00:12:09,938 Don't kick the baby.
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,690 Good-bye, Ike, be safe!
00:12:11,815 --> 00:12:13,233 I'll come find you in Nebraska
00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:14,401 when Mom and Dad are back to normal.
00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:15,527 Bye, bye.
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:20,073 Oh, man, where am I?
00:12:20,198 --> 00:12:22,075 Hey, wow.
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,785 It's that counselor from the elementary school, Mr. Mackey.
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,203 Wow, dude.
00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:26,705 Hi, boys, how are you today?
00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,206 Pretty good, man. How are you?
00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:29,833 Oh, I've been better.
00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:31,668 I've been kicked out of town for doing drugs.
00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:33,128 Hey, us too.
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:34,796 Yeah, remember?
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,006 You caught us smoking weed in the bathroom
00:12:36,131 --> 00:12:37,424 and got us suspended.
00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:39,926 Oh. Oh, fortune, how you mock me.
00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:42,012 Cheer up, bro, all you need is some clear liquid
00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:43,388 to get your head straight.
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:46,308 - Uh, boys, LSD is bad.
00:12:47,184 --> 00:12:49,644 Mm.
00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:53,356 Who put all this cotton in my mouth?
00:12:53,482 --> 00:12:55,984 Yeah, baby.
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,445 The world is so small.
00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:01,823 I'm free.
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:03,784 I'm free.
00:13:03,909 --> 00:13:05,368 Sweet, dude, totally killer.
00:13:05,494 --> 00:13:06,995 That guy's totally tripping.
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,416 - There, what do you think?
00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:12,751 What the hell's that supposed to be?
00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:14,294 I'm making a dummy Ike doll.
00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:15,921 My parents think he's out with me right now
00:13:16,046 --> 00:13:17,839 and I have to bring him back for dinner.
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:19,674 Dude, I think your mom's gonna notice that isn't Ike.
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,635 Not if I say he's sick and put him to bed right away.
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,386 No, go away. bad bog.
00:13:23,512 --> 00:13:25,138 Dude, what did you make that doll out of?
00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:26,598 I used a bunch of bones from the butcher shop.
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:28,725 Is that why it stinks so bad?
00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:30,811 Hi, boys.
00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:32,395 Hi, Mr. Mackey.
00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:34,523 Are you boys staying out of trouble?
00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,233 Yes!
00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:39,694 Okay, I'm just gonna go over here for a while.
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,488 Anyways, I need you guys to help me
00:13:41,613 --> 00:13:43,824 so that my parents don't realize Ike is gone.
00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:45,742 Knock it off, asshole!
00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:47,536 No way! I'm never going back to your parent's house.
00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:48,537 Come on, dude, if it were your little brother,
00:13:48,662 --> 00:13:49,621 we'd help you.
00:13:51,623 --> 00:13:52,916 Wait a minute, no, you wouldn't!
00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:58,421 Ouch. Ow.
00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:01,299 Would you look at that, honey?
00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:04,427 Somebody dropped off a perfectly good trash can.
00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:05,804 Yeah.
00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:10,016 Booby, where have you been?
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:11,768 Dinner's been ready for five minutes.
00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:13,436 - Sorry, Mom, I just had to deal with Ike.
00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:14,855 He's been cranky.
00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:16,731 How is my little jelly bean?
00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:20,193 I'm gonna take him up to the bathroom to get washed up.
00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:22,153 Okay, but first let Mommy give you a kiss.
00:14:23,238 --> 00:14:25,115 No, Mom, he doesn't want you kissing him.
00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:28,618 Oh, my God, make him stop!
00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:29,870 Put it down, you stupid dog!
00:14:29,995 --> 00:14:32,247 My baby. Oh, God!
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,332 Get out of here, you mutt, let him go!
00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:38,128 Oh, my baby! Boobala...
00:14:39,671 --> 00:14:41,715 Baby! - Huh?
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,804 Oh, he's dead. He's dead.
00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:50,140 My little boobala's dead.
00:14:50,265 --> 00:14:53,310 here, there, Sheila. There's nothing we can do.
00:14:58,356 --> 00:14:59,733 "Yea, usher us unto the Lord,"
00:14:59,858 --> 00:15:01,359 sayeth some Jewish guy once.
00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:04,029 Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,495 Hey, wait a minute.
00:15:12,621 --> 00:15:14,331 How come Ike's tombstone has a Canadian flag on it?
00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:16,333 Well, booby, there's something you have to know.
00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:18,960 Ike wasn't really your brother. He was adopted.
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,462 What?
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:21,463 He was not really a Broflovski.
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:22,881 He was Canadian.
00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:24,007 But we loved him all the same.
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:27,344 You mean to tell me that all this time
00:15:27,469 --> 00:15:28,386 I've been trying to protect Ike from having
00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:29,721 his fireman cut off,
00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:31,097 and he's not even my real brother?
00:15:31,222 --> 00:15:32,724 What are you talking about?
00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:35,310 Dude, Ike isn't dead. He's in Nebraska.
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,978 What, what, what?
00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:38,772 Dude, you shouldn't have told them that.
00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:40,273 Now they're gonna find him and cut off his penis.
00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:41,733 "Fireman." - Oh, who the hell cares?
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:42,734 He's not even my responsibility.
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,656 Oh, my God. They've killed Kenny!
00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:49,574 You bastards.
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:52,118 Yea, let us ponder the Lord's mercies.
00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:53,745 Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:02,796 Get out of the way, you damn hippie.
00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:03,922 - I don't need to take your right wing,
00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:05,423 authoritative bullshit.
00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:07,008 What?
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,927 You're just like the government, man,
00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:11,680 trying to prosecute out one side of your mouth, okay.
00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:14,849 While supporting guns out of the other, okay.
00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:17,560 Eh, why don't you go to a Grateful Dead concert?
00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:21,272 I can't, man. Jer-bear's dead, okay.
00:16:21,398 --> 00:16:24,359 Hey, man, I overheard what you said.
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:25,777 That was cool.
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:27,821 What? Oh, thanks, man.
00:16:27,946 --> 00:16:31,199 Would you like to come over to my place and finger paint?
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,450 Sure, man.
00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:35,745 Finger painting's cool, okay.
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,669 Now, where did you leave him, young man?
00:16:42,794 --> 00:16:44,462 How the hell should I know?
00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:46,631 Gerald, do something about your smart-ass son.
00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:49,551 Uh, mind your mother, smart-ass.
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,136 If we don't find him, so help me,
00:16:51,261 --> 00:16:53,221 you're gonna be grounded for a month!
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,598 All this time, "look out for your little brother, Kyle,"
00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:57,225 "Take care of your little brother, Kyle,"
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:58,727 and he wasn't even really my little brother!
00:16:58,852 --> 00:17:00,228 Kyle, just because Ike is adopted
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:01,813 doesn't make him any less your brother.
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:03,398 Yeah, right.
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,066 Excuse me.
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:07,027 We're looking for a two-year-old Canadian boy.
00:17:07,152 --> 00:17:09,237 Two-year-old Canadian boy, two-year-old Canadian boy...
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,781 Oh, I think they might have one of those down at Hap's Bar.
00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:13,074 Come on!
00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:22,000 Ike!
00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:25,336 Hey, lady, that's my table post!
00:17:25,462 --> 00:17:26,671 You can't have that!
00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:31,468 Wow, man.
00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:33,261 You know, it's like,
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,888 you go through life thinking
00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:36,723 that you're an individual, okay.
00:17:36,848 --> 00:17:38,933 Then you realize that you're more than that, okay?
00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:42,020 We're all just one big individual, okay?
00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:46,608 Let's get married and have a honeymoon in India.
00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:49,402 Okay.
00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:53,782 - Now, you march to your room
00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:55,784 and you think about what you've done!
00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:57,744 But first apologize to your brother.
00:17:57,869 --> 00:17:59,079 He's not my brother!
00:17:59,204 --> 00:18:00,413 Apologize to him!
00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:01,664 I'm sorry, Ike.
00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:11,257 Wow, this is so beautiful.
00:18:11,382 --> 00:18:13,134 I am one with the animals
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,552 and the trees.
00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:16,679 And I am one with you.
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:20,016 ♪ At long last I have found ♪
00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:22,977 ♪ A true reason to be ♪
00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:25,980 ♪ Now I feel I can start anew-- ♪
00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:27,232 Oh! Oh!
00:18:27,357 --> 00:18:29,609 Ow, hey!
00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:30,944 Whoa.
00:18:31,069 --> 00:18:33,238 Okay.
00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:34,614 What the hell's going on?
00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:35,990 Tough love, Mr. Mackey.
00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:37,408 We're taking you to rehab.
00:18:37,534 --> 00:18:38,910 I don't want to go to rehab.
00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:40,745 I haven't even done drugs in weeks.
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:42,455 We were wrong for shunning you, Mr. Mackey,
00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:44,165 and we apologize.
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,084 We should've realized that you needed help.
00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:48,086 Yeah, now we'll make sure you get the help you need.
00:18:48,211 --> 00:18:49,629 I don't want help!
00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:51,297 You'll thank us later.
00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:55,426 Hello, Tom. Hello, Patty.
00:18:55,552 --> 00:18:57,053 Thanks for coming to Ike's bris.
00:18:57,178 --> 00:18:59,389 Look, Ike, it's your Uncle Murray.
00:18:59,514 --> 00:19:00,765 Hello, Ike.
00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:02,559 Say, where's little Kyle?
00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:04,602 He's been sent to his room for being a bastard.
00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:07,021 He's decided that Ike isn't his brother since he's adopted.
00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:09,566 Hi, there. - Hello, do I know you?
00:19:09,691 --> 00:19:11,151 Oh, no, but I never miss a bris.
00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:12,360 Here, I brought some dip.
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:14,195 Oh, thanks.
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,030 Well, I guess the chopping is about to commence.
00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:18,825 What do you want?
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:25,999 Oh, no, you don't.
00:19:26,124 --> 00:19:27,667 That isn't gonna work on me, Canadian.
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:29,460 Maybe you're being too hard on him, dude.
00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:30,587 No way, there's no real connection between us.
00:19:30,712 --> 00:19:31,671 It was all a big lie.
00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:33,006 Cookie Monster.
00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:35,258 Two, three, four, five...
00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:36,885 Go on, Canadian, beat it!
00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:38,136 I'm through getting in trouble for you!
00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:43,683 You have to admit you have a problem
00:19:43,808 --> 00:19:45,310 before anybody can help you.
00:19:45,435 --> 00:19:47,729 But I don't think I really have a problem.
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:49,439 Nonsense, you did drugs.
00:19:49,564 --> 00:19:51,024 I suppose you forgot all about your family?
00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:52,692 I don't really have a family.
00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:54,152 And you lost your job.
00:19:54,277 --> 00:19:55,778 No, I lost my job before that.
00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:57,739 Mr. Mackey, you're supposed to be an adult.
00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:58,948 The problem with drugs is that people forget
00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:00,867 to stop doing them.
00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:02,243 There's a time and a place for everything, Mr. Mackey,
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:03,828 and it's called "college."
00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:05,914 Now I want you to repeat after me:
00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:08,082 drugs are bad.
00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:10,001 Drugs are bad.
00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:12,962 Drugs are bad.
00:20:13,087 --> 00:20:15,089 Drugs are bad.
00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,509 Hello, Dr. Schwartz.
00:20:18,635 --> 00:20:20,011 Thank you so much for coming all this way
00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:21,679 to perform Ike's bris.
00:20:21,804 --> 00:20:23,223 Oh, my pleasure, Sheila.
00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:24,933 I brought the normal cutting device,
00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:27,143 but then I remembered that Ike was Canadian,
00:20:27,268 --> 00:20:28,686 so I brought the right one.
00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:30,188 Where is the little rug-rat?
00:20:30,313 --> 00:20:32,565 Right over here.
00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:33,775 Come here, you.
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:35,485 Ow!
00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:41,699 Ike!
00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:43,243 Ike!
00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:52,377 There you are. Come on, Ike, it's time.
00:20:54,212 --> 00:20:56,130 You stay away from my little brother!
00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:57,715 But son, I just--
00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,175 You aren't gonna cut off his wee-wee!
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:00,718 Not today, you sick-ass weirdo!
00:21:00,843 --> 00:21:02,345 Kyle, what are you talking about?
00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:04,597 And you! You should be ashamed of yourself.
00:21:04,722 --> 00:21:06,266 Don't you understand that us males
00:21:06,391 --> 00:21:07,892 are defined by our firemen?
00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:10,520 Yes, the fireman is very magical.
00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:13,022 If you rub his helmet, he spits in your eye.
00:21:14,649 --> 00:21:16,192 Kyle, a circumcision
00:21:16,317 --> 00:21:18,528 is a very common thing for Ike to have.
00:21:18,653 --> 00:21:20,863 His father had it, his grandfather had it,
00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:23,658 and his brother had it.
00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:24,993 No!
00:21:25,118 --> 00:21:26,452 No, it isn't true!
00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:28,079 We're not going to cut it off.
00:21:28,204 --> 00:21:29,914 We're just gonna snip it so that it looks bigger.
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,501 Oh, hey, that doesn't sound like a bad idea.
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,545 Yeah, I want to get a "circum-stision" too.
00:21:38,381 --> 00:21:39,674 Congratulations, Mr. Mackey.
00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:41,467 You are fully recovered.
00:21:41,592 --> 00:21:43,469 I can't thank you enough for everything, okay.
00:21:43,594 --> 00:21:45,555 I feel like my old self again.
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,391 Just one more thing...
00:21:48,516 --> 00:21:50,935 Remember that you can stay sober.
00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:52,937 I will, Miss Social Worker.
00:21:53,062 --> 00:21:55,315 I will, okay.
00:21:56,357 --> 00:21:57,567 It's okay, Ike, I'm here.
00:21:57,692 --> 00:22:00,236 And a one and a two and a...
00:22:00,361 --> 00:22:01,404 Bris!
00:22:01,529 --> 00:22:04,449 Ouch.
00:22:04,574 --> 00:22:05,783 Cookie Monster.
00:22:05,908 --> 00:22:07,702 Ike, you're okay.
00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:09,620 Wow, dude, I guess having a bris isn't all that bad.
00:22:09,746 --> 00:22:11,289 Yeah, you know, I've learned something today.
00:22:11,414 --> 00:22:12,707 Family isn't about whose blood you have.
00:22:12,832 --> 00:22:13,833 It's about who you care about.
00:22:13,958 --> 00:22:15,293 Yeah.
00:22:15,418 --> 00:22:17,045 And that's why I feel you guys
00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:18,087 are more than just friends; you're my family.
00:22:18,212 --> 00:22:19,505 Except for Cartman.
00:22:19,630 --> 00:22:21,466 Naturally. - Screw you, guys!
00:22:21,591 --> 00:22:22,675 I don't want to be in your penis chopping family anyway!
00:22:25,636 --> 00:22:26,929 And so now, children,
00:22:27,055 --> 00:22:28,723 your school counselor is back
00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:31,351 to tell you firsthand about his nasty experience
00:22:31,476 --> 00:22:33,644 with drugs and alcohol.
00:22:33,770 --> 00:22:36,981 Okay, kids, you shouldn't do drugs, okay.
00:22:37,106 --> 00:22:38,691 Drugs are bad.
00:22:38,816 --> 00:22:40,360 You see, I was at the bottom of the barrel.
00:22:40,485 --> 00:22:41,861 I was a wreck.
00:22:41,986 --> 00:22:43,488 Well, I didn't even care about money.
00:22:43,613 --> 00:22:45,615 I was--I was wasting my life...
00:22:45,740 --> 00:22:47,617 Hey, you guys want to come to my bris tomorrow?
00:22:47,742 --> 00:22:48,910 You can't have your bris tomorrow, Cartman.
00:22:49,035 --> 00:22:50,495 That's when I'm having mine.
00:22:50,620 --> 00:22:52,163 No way, I set up mine first, hippie!
00:22:52,288 --> 00:22:54,207 Now, boys, you need to listen up, okay.
00:22:54,332 --> 00:22:57,251 What I'm talking about might save your life someday, okay.
00:22:57,377 --> 00:22:59,212 Okay, Mr. Mackey, okay.
00:22:59,337 --> 00:23:00,671 Okay. - Okay.
00:23:00,797 --> 00:23:02,256 Okay. - Okay.
00:23:02,382 --> 00:23:03,800 Okay.
00:23:03,925 --> 00:23:06,302 Now, as I was saying, drugs are bad.
00:23:06,427 --> 00:23:07,845 You shouldn't do drugs.
00:23:07,970 --> 00:23:10,431 If you do them, you're bad.
00:23:10,556 --> 00:23:12,517 Because drugs are bad, okay.
00:23:12,642 --> 00:23:14,310 It's a bad thing to do, drugs,
00:23:14,435 --> 00:23:16,687 so don't be bad by doing drugs, okay.
00:23:16,813 --> 00:23:18,272 That'd be bad.
00:23:18,398 --> 00:23:20,608 Drugs are bad, okay.

00:00:02,253 --> 00:00:04,880 [upbeat acoustic guitar music]
00:00:05,006 --> 00:00:07,591 ♪♪
00:00:07,717 --> 00:00:09,760 - ♪ Let's raise the roof, whoo-whoo ♪
00:00:09,885 --> 00:00:11,012 ♪ Let's raise the roof ♪
00:00:11,137 --> 00:00:12,555 ♪ Whoo-whoo-whoo ♪
00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:13,931 ♪ Raise the roof, whoo-whoo ♪
00:00:14,056 --> 00:00:15,766 ♪ Yeah, boy, yeah, boy ♪
00:00:15,891 --> 00:00:17,018 ♪ Say oh ♪
00:00:17,143 --> 00:00:18,227 [together] ♪ Oh ♪
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:19,645 - ♪ Say oh oh ♪
00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:20,771 [together] ♪ Oh oh ♪
00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:22,231 - ♪ Say uh uh uh ♪
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:23,441 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
00:00:23,566 --> 00:00:24,608 ♪ Whoo ♪
00:00:24,734 --> 00:00:26,235 Oh, you're back already.
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,903 Wasn't that episode a hoot and a holler?
00:00:28,029 --> 00:00:29,739 This next episode is called "Ike's Wee Wee,"
00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:31,574 and it's all about the courage of one man in facing
00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:33,534 his bitter addiction and coming to terms with life
00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:35,911 before he loses everything he loves.
00:00:36,037 --> 00:00:37,038 And Ike's wee wee.
00:00:37,163 --> 00:00:38,330 Right.
00:00:38,456 --> 00:00:39,957 I have to go to the bathroom.
00:00:40,082 --> 00:00:41,959 What did I say?
00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:45,171 I said calm down, or I'm gonna be forced to use ninja star.
00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:47,423 Anyway, this episode also deals with the very important
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,258 subject matter of circumcision.
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:51,469 That's when they take a knife and cut a slit
00:00:51,594 --> 00:00:53,387 right down the middle of your penis
00:00:53,512 --> 00:00:55,306 slicing it into two halves, and then they take the two
00:00:55,431 --> 00:00:56,640 halves and tie them in a little bow.
00:00:56,766 --> 00:00:57,892 No, they don't.
00:00:58,017 --> 00:00:59,351 Huh?
00:00:59,477 --> 00:01:01,979 Dude, that's not what they do.
00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:04,607 Is that what they did to you?
00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:07,068 Well...well, yeah, that's what they do to everybody,
00:01:07,193 --> 00:01:08,194 isn't it?
00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:11,489 No. [laughs]
00:01:11,614 --> 00:01:14,658 [laughter]
00:01:14,784 --> 00:01:17,328 Dude, now I know why that Sally chick calls you the pretzel.
00:01:17,453 --> 00:01:19,163 Shut up!
00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:21,248 - Well, anyway, this episode is certainly gonna--
00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:23,042 I have to go to.
00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:24,668 God damn it! Will you just give us two minutes?
00:01:24,794 --> 00:01:26,879 I can't wait two minutes. - That's it.
00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:29,298 Ninja star!
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:32,218 Ahh.
00:01:33,677 --> 00:01:38,432 Well, anyway, sit back, relax, and enjoy "Ike's Wee Wee."
00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:40,518 ♪ Raise the roof, whoo-whoo ♪
00:01:40,643 --> 00:01:42,770 ♪ Raise the roof, say whoo-whoo-whoo ♪
00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:52,738 <i>[twangy music]</i>
00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:54,240 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:01:54,365 --> 00:01:56,242 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
00:01:56,367 --> 00:01:57,952 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:01:58,077 --> 00:01:59,495 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:00,955 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:02,790 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:02:02,915 --> 00:02:04,500 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,001 ♪ People spouting: "Howdy neighbor!" ♪
00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:07,503 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,255 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:12,424 [mumbling]
00:02:12,550 --> 00:02:13,926 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,719 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
00:02:17,096 --> 00:02:19,348 Okay, children, let's take our seats.
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:22,059 This morning we're gonna have a special lecture
00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:24,979 from your school counselor, Mr. Mackey.
00:02:25,104 --> 00:02:26,021 Boo.
00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:27,815 Now, who was that?
00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:30,401 That is not appropriate behavior, okay.
00:02:30,526 --> 00:02:32,653 [as Mackey] I'm sorry, Mr. Mackey, okay.
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:35,364 That's okay, just don't let it happen again.
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:38,159 [as Mackey] We won't let it happen again, Mr. Mackey, okay.
00:02:38,284 --> 00:02:40,619 Okay, okay, that's fine.
00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:41,704 [as Mackey] Okay.
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:42,705 Okay.
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:43,956 [laughter]
00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:45,666 Now, as your counselor,
00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:47,751 I'm here to tell you about drugs and alcohol
00:02:47,877 --> 00:02:49,837 and why they're bad, okay.
00:02:49,962 --> 00:02:52,506 So first of all, smoking's bad.
00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:55,759 You shouldn't smoke, and, uh, alcohol is bad.
00:02:55,885 --> 00:02:57,344 You shouldn't drink alcohol,
00:02:57,469 --> 00:03:00,181 and as for drugs, well, drugs are bad.
00:03:00,306 --> 00:03:01,932 You shouldn't do drugs.
00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:03,517 Okay, now that about wraps up my introduction.
00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:05,352 Now, are there any questions?
00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:06,812 Yes, Stan.
00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:08,439 - Why do dogs have cold noses?
00:03:08,564 --> 00:03:10,482 Uh, well, I'm not sure.
00:03:10,608 --> 00:03:11,984 Oh.
00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:13,986 Now, let's focus our discussion first
00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:15,404 on "mari-ju-wana."
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,114 Mari-ju-wana's bad
00:03:17,239 --> 00:03:19,909 and it also has a very distinct smell, okay.
00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:22,161 I'm gonna pass around just a little tiny bit,
00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:24,163 and I want you all to take a smell
00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:25,539 so you know when someone
00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:27,208 is smoking mari-ju-wana near you.
00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:29,460 Okay, just take a smell, pass it on,
00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:30,920 and when it gets back up to me,
00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:32,379 we'll finish talking about it.
00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:34,048 In the meantime,
00:03:34,173 --> 00:03:35,341 I want to get into alcohol a little, okay.
00:03:35,466 --> 00:03:37,218 Alcohol is bad.
00:03:37,343 --> 00:03:39,220 If you drink alcohol...
00:03:39,345 --> 00:03:41,263 Hey, are you guys gonna come to Ike's party this weekend?
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:42,556 Your little brother's having a party?
00:03:42,681 --> 00:03:43,682 Why, is it his birthday?
00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,017 No, it's his bris.
00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:46,602 What the hell is a bris?
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,270 I don't know,
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:49,855 but there's gonna be lots of food and a band.
00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:51,398 Oh, kick ass. I want to have a bris.
00:03:51,523 --> 00:03:53,234 And so, that's why alcohol is bad.
00:03:53,359 --> 00:03:56,987 Has that mari-ju-wana made it back up here yet?
00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:58,364 No? Okay.
00:03:58,489 --> 00:04:00,074 Let's talk about LSD.
00:04:00,199 --> 00:04:02,993 Children, LSD is bad.
00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:04,495 It's a drug made famous
00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:06,497 by John Lennon and Paul McCartney.
00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:08,123 Hey, are we supposed to get
00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:09,166 your little brother presents for a bris?
00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:10,501 Uh, I'm not sure.
00:04:10,626 --> 00:04:11,919 Well, dude, you better find out.
00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:13,420 Boys, are you paying attention?
00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:14,797 [as Mackey] Sorry, Mr. Mackey, okay.
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,382 Okay.
00:04:16,507 --> 00:04:17,549 Now, children, has that mari-ju-wana
00:04:17,675 --> 00:04:18,926 made it around yet?
00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:23,639 Uh, who--who has the "mari-ju-wana" now?
00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:28,102 Oh-oh--okay, whoever has the mari-ju-wana,
00:04:28,227 --> 00:04:30,562 just pass it up to the front row, okay.
00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:33,357 Uh, oh.
00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:35,192 I am very disappointed in you, young man.
00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:37,069 You should be ashamed of yourself.
00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:39,113 What could have possessed you to be so stupid?
00:04:39,238 --> 00:04:41,198 I'm sorry, Principal Victoria.
00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:42,992 Well, sorry isn't going to
00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:44,994 cut the cheese this time, Mister.
00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:46,328 I'm afraid I'm going to have to suspend you from school.
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,247 You mean I'm fired?
00:04:48,372 --> 00:04:50,291 Well, I guess that's the grown-up way to put it, yes.
00:04:50,416 --> 00:04:53,377 But--but it was an honest error of judgment, okay.
00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,629 I really thought it was important for the kids to know
00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:57,298 the smell of mari-ju-wana.
00:04:57,423 --> 00:04:58,882 It was an error of judgment, Mr. Mackey,
00:04:59,008 --> 00:05:00,801 but I'm afraid I have to let you go for it.
00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:03,137 We searched each one of those kids, but came up empty.
00:05:03,262 --> 00:05:05,097 We had to let them go home,
00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:06,390 and one of them now has half of a lid of Jamaican grass
00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:07,975 because of you!
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:10,102 How--how am I gonna make ends meet?
00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,520 Okay.
00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:12,730 What--what will I do for money?
00:05:12,855 --> 00:05:14,315 There, there, now,
00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:15,941 maybe this will all blow over someday
00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:17,693 and we can give you a job as a janitor,
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,236 cleaning up vomit with that pink sawdust stuff.
00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:22,448 [sobbing] Okay.
00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:25,784 Aah!
00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:27,578 Man, that sucked getting searched.
00:05:27,703 --> 00:05:29,288 Yeah, my ass is killing me.
00:05:29,413 --> 00:05:30,998 Why did they search us?
00:05:31,123 --> 00:05:32,374 That mari-ju-wana never even made it to us.
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:33,792 I wonder who took it.
00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:35,586 <i>[playful music]</i>
00:05:35,711 --> 00:05:39,214 <i>And now it's almost time for Bobo's...</i>
00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:41,759 [laughs]
00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:44,136 Hello there, children.
00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:45,262 [all together] Hey, Chef.
00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:46,430 How's it going?
00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:48,307 Bad. - Why bad?
00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:50,184 - Children, I heard about what happened at school today.
00:05:50,309 --> 00:05:52,186 Now, none of you took that nasty marijuana, did you?
00:05:52,311 --> 00:05:53,729 - No, dude, we never even saw it.
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,689 - Okay, because I just want to tell you
00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:57,775 that drugs are bad!
00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,526 We know, we know. That's what everybody says.
00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:00,944 Right.
00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:02,988 But do you know why they're bad?
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,948 Because they're an addictive solution to a greater problem
00:06:05,074 --> 00:06:06,492 causing disease of both body and mind with consequences
00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:08,077 far outweighing their supposed benefits.
00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:10,496 And do you have any idea what that means?
00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:12,206 No.
00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:14,333 I know, drugs are bad because if you do drugs,
00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:16,293 you're a hippie, and hippies suck.
00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:18,796 Look, children, this is all I'm gonna say about drugs:
00:06:18,921 --> 00:06:20,464 stay away from them!
00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:23,050 There's a time and a place for everything,
00:06:23,175 --> 00:06:24,843 and it's called "college."
00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:26,553 Do you understand?
00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:27,805 [all together] Dude.
00:06:27,930 --> 00:06:29,598 Okay.
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,141 Hey, are you gonna come to Ike's bris this weekend?
00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:33,018 Oh, hell no, I can't bear to see that.
00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:34,603 What do you mean?
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,063 Don't you boys know what a bris is?
00:06:36,188 --> 00:06:37,439 They're going to circumcise him.
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:38,857 What's that?
00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:41,193 Oh, boy, here we go again.
00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:43,695 Children, uh...
00:06:43,821 --> 00:06:45,989 what's the one thing that's more sacred to a man
00:06:46,115 --> 00:06:47,699 than anything else in the world?
00:06:47,825 --> 00:06:49,493 Uh...bicycles?
00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:50,953 Ham?
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,413 No, not ham, you fat [bleep].
00:06:52,538 --> 00:06:53,539 Screw you! It's ham, isn't it?
00:06:53,664 --> 00:06:55,541 No, no, no, children.
00:06:55,666 --> 00:06:57,709 I'm talking about the most important part of a man's body.
00:06:57,835 --> 00:07:00,587 Your heart? - Your eyes.
00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:01,839 Oh! [mumbling]
00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:03,257 That's right.
00:07:03,382 --> 00:07:04,633 Hey! My mom says you're not supposed
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,260 to call it a "penis," Kenny!
00:07:06,385 --> 00:07:07,261 You're supposed to call it a "fireman."
00:07:07,386 --> 00:07:08,762 - A "fireman"?
00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:10,180 - That's the proper way to say it,
00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:11,265 or else you get a spanking.
00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:12,766 - Damn it, children.
00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,268 Why do I always have to be the one
00:07:14,393 --> 00:07:15,853 to explain all this stuff to you?
00:07:15,978 --> 00:07:17,813 Ask your parents for once. - Hey, wait!
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:20,149 Dude, something tells me this bris thing isn't good.
00:07:21,692 --> 00:07:23,610 Hey, Mackey, you got any more pot?
00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,446 My four-year-old needs a fix.
00:07:25,571 --> 00:07:26,488 [laughs]
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,407 - Hey, Mackey!
00:07:28,532 --> 00:07:30,492 Now we see what you and Homer Simpson have in common:
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,161 "dope"! [laughs]
00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:33,745 Hey, Mackey!
00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:34,872 Who do you think you are?
00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:37,207 [all yelling at once]
00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:38,917 Hey, hippie, you gonna do some drugs?
00:07:39,042 --> 00:07:40,711 [whimpers]
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:45,382 I don't think I've seen you around here before.
00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:48,552 No, I just-- I had to get away, okay.
00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:50,012 I just lost my job.
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:51,472 Oh, that's weak, man.
00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:52,848 You know what you need?
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,391 You need a good stiff drink.
00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:56,602 Oh, I-I-I don't drink, okay?
00:07:56,727 --> 00:07:59,855 Trust me, man, it'll make you feel better.
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,107 Drinking's bad.
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:04,151 Go ahead, drink the beer.
00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:06,945 It'll calm you down.
00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:08,572 Yeah, why the hell not?
00:08:08,697 --> 00:08:09,990 It's just a beer.
00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:11,825 Don't be such a pussy, okay.
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:16,288 So how do you feel?
00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:17,498 [belches]
00:08:17,623 --> 00:08:19,124 Oh, about the same.
00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:20,375 Oh, you just need something a little stronger.
00:08:21,627 --> 00:08:23,045 Kyle, you have to stop them.
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:24,588 Stop who?
00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:26,048 Dude, I found out what a bris is.
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,132 I found out what they're gonna do to Ike.
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:28,634 What?
00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:29,760 They're gonna chop off his wee-wee.
00:08:29,885 --> 00:08:31,678 <i>[dramatic musical tones]</i>
00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:33,639 Chop of his wee-wee! Are you sure?
00:08:33,764 --> 00:08:35,432 Yeah, dude, it's a Jewish tradition.
00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:36,892 It's called a "circum-stision."
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,852 Dude, that is not cool!
00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:40,729 Chopping off wee-wees is not cool!
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,105 That can't be true.
00:08:42,231 --> 00:08:43,690 My parents wouldn't do that.
00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:45,400 Dude, I asked five different people.
00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:47,110 They said all Jewish boys have "circum-stisions"
00:08:47,236 --> 00:08:48,987 and they make it into a party called a bris.
00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:51,114 Dude, you don't just chop off somebody's fireman.
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:52,658 I won't believe it. I won't!
00:08:52,783 --> 00:08:54,201 I have to ask my mom and dad!
00:08:55,494 --> 00:08:57,955 ♪ We are young, okay ♪
00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:00,123 ♪ Heartache to heartache ♪
00:09:00,249 --> 00:09:02,125 ♪ We stand, okay ♪
00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:06,463 ♪ No promises, no demands, mands, mands, okay ♪
00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:07,673 Uh...
00:09:07,798 --> 00:09:09,174 Is this my house?
00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:10,801 Your key ain't gonna work, Mackey.
00:09:10,926 --> 00:09:12,177 I changed the locks!
00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:13,720 Why, Mr. Freely?
00:09:13,845 --> 00:09:15,347 I'm not renting to you anymore!
00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:16,974 I heard that you got fired from your job
00:09:17,099 --> 00:09:18,642 for selling drugs to children.
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:22,312 No, no, no, okay. It wasn't like that.
00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:24,356 Drugs are an illegal narcotic,
00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:26,024 and having never taken drugs,
00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:28,235 I can say that they have nothing to offer.
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,529 But I've never taken drugs, either.
00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:32,364 I've never taken drugs, and look at me,
00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:33,824 I'm totally fine.
00:09:33,949 --> 00:09:35,367 Now, get off my property
00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:37,160 before I lose control and kill you!
00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,289 Ow! Okay?
00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:41,623 Drug user!
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,375 Drug user! Come back here!
00:09:46,545 --> 00:09:47,921 Just a little higher.
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:48,964 Mom, Dad!
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,173 Oh, hi, boobala.
00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:51,800 I'm glad you're here.
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,218 You can help us decorate for the party.
00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:54,636 Your mother's made GaHekgafuga.
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,763 What the hell is GaHekgafuga?
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:59,766 Mom, Dad, what exactly is this party for?
00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:03,604 To celebrate your little brother's passage into life.
00:10:03,729 --> 00:10:05,230 Meaning what?
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:06,773 Meaning we're going to circumcise him.
00:10:06,898 --> 00:10:08,650 They are gonna cut off his fireman.
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:10,736 It's Jewish tradition, booby.
00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:12,654 Normally we do it right after the baby is born,
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,698 but we had to do it later for Ike because he's a--
00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:16,658 Ahh!
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:21,496 Oh, now, what's gotten into him?
00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:22,956 Stan, will you go talk to him?
00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:27,544 [both] Let us cut off your pee-pee, Stan.
00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:30,005 [all scream]
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,466 Oy, what is the matter with them?
00:10:32,591 --> 00:10:34,343 I can't believe my parents are cannibals.
00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:35,802 What are you gonna do, dude?
00:10:35,927 --> 00:10:37,220 I have to save my little brother.
00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:38,597 I have to send him away until
00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:39,931 my parents come to their senses.
00:10:40,057 --> 00:10:41,767 Come on, Ike. - [baby chatter]
00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:43,477 Cover me for a while.
00:10:43,602 --> 00:10:44,478 I'll find a place to hide him and come back.
00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:46,063 No way, dude.
00:10:46,188 --> 00:10:47,439 We're not staying alone in your house
00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:49,066 with your wee-wee chopping parents.
00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:50,817 Just give me 30 minutes. Come on, Ike.
00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:54,946 [sighs] I can't sleep. It's too cold, okay.
00:10:55,072 --> 00:10:56,907 - Hey, you want something to warm you up?
00:10:57,032 --> 00:10:59,534 Oh, uh, I didn't know this dark alley was taken.
00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:02,496 Here, try this. It'll warm you up.
00:11:02,621 --> 00:11:03,997 Mari-ju-wana's bad.
00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,874 What?
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,293 Mari-ju-wana makes you feel depressed and low, okay.
00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:10,170 And you don't feel that way now?
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:11,296 Huh. Good point.
00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:16,426 [gasps]
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:19,388 N--I don't feel any diff--ooh.
00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:21,848 Ooh, baby, get down, okay.
00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:24,601 Uh-huh. - Man, this alley is cool.
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:27,229 It's so alive and beautiful.
00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,355 Oh, boy.
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:31,066 Come on, Ike. Hurry up.
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,734 [baby chatter]
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,569 Where's the next train going?
00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:36,029 Lincoln, Nebraska. Train leaves in five minutes.
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:37,531 You want to go to Nebraska, Ike?
00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:39,199 No.
00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:40,367 I need one ticket for my little brother.
00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:41,868 That's a little brother?
00:11:41,993 --> 00:11:43,203 I thought it was a trash can or something.
00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:44,204 What's wrong with his head?
00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:46,081 Huh?
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,332 I'm sorry, but we just can't throw Caucasian babies
00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,126 on an outbound train.
00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:50,752 But my parents are gonna cut off his ding-dong.
00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,295 What? Why the hell would they do that?
00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:53,922 They've just gone crazy for a while.
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,382 Please, Mister, I have to hide my brother
00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:56,800 until they come to their senses.
00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:58,093 No can do, sonny. - Damn it!
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:01,680 [bell dinging]
00:12:01,805 --> 00:12:03,598 Ike, if you want to keep your penis,
00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:05,100 you have to get on this train.
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,435 [train whistle blows]
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:07,853 Ready, Ike? Kick the baby!
00:12:07,978 --> 00:12:09,938 Don't kick the baby.
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,690 Good-bye, Ike, be safe!
00:12:11,815 --> 00:12:13,233 I'll come find you in Nebraska
00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:14,401 when Mom and Dad are back to normal.
00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:15,527 Bye, bye.
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:20,073 Oh, man, where am I?
00:12:20,198 --> 00:12:22,075 Hey, wow.
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,785 It's that counselor from the elementary school, Mr. Mackey.
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,203 Wow, dude.
00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:26,705 Hi, boys, how are you today?
00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,206 Pretty good, man. How are you?
00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:29,833 Oh, I've been better.
00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:31,668 I've been kicked out of town for doing drugs.
00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:33,128 Hey, us too.
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:34,796 Yeah, remember?
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,006 You caught us smoking weed in the bathroom
00:12:36,131 --> 00:12:37,424 and got us suspended.
00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:39,926 Oh. Oh, fortune, how you mock me.
00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:42,012 Cheer up, bro, all you need is some clear liquid
00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:43,388 to get your head straight.
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:46,308 - Uh, boys, LSD is bad.
00:12:47,184 --> 00:12:49,644 Mm.
00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:53,356 Who put all this cotton in my mouth?
00:12:53,482 --> 00:12:55,984 Yeah, baby.
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,445 The world is so small.
00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:01,823 I'm free.
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:03,784 I'm free.
00:13:03,909 --> 00:13:05,368 Sweet, dude, totally killer.
00:13:05,494 --> 00:13:06,995 That guy's totally tripping.
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,416 - There, what do you think?
00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:12,751 What the hell's that supposed to be?
00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:14,294 I'm making a dummy Ike doll.
00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:15,921 My parents think he's out with me right now
00:13:16,046 --> 00:13:17,839 and I have to bring him back for dinner.
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:19,674 Dude, I think your mom's gonna notice that isn't Ike.
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,635 Not if I say he's sick and put him to bed right away.
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,386 No, go away. bad bog.
00:13:23,512 --> 00:13:25,138 Dude, what did you make that doll out of?
00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:26,598 I used a bunch of bones from the butcher shop.
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:28,725 Is that why it stinks so bad?
00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:30,811 Hi, boys.
00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:32,395 [all together] Hi, Mr. Mackey.
00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:34,523 Are you boys staying out of trouble?
00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,233 [together] Yes!
00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:39,694 Okay, I'm just gonna go over here for a while.
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,488 Anyways, I need you guys to help me
00:13:41,613 --> 00:13:43,824 so that my parents don't realize Ike is gone.
00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:45,742 Knock it off, asshole!
00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:47,536 No way! I'm never going back to your parent's house.
00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:48,537 Come on, dude, if it were your little brother,
00:13:48,662 --> 00:13:49,621 we'd help you.
00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:51,498 [grunts]
00:13:51,623 --> 00:13:52,916 Wait a minute, no, you wouldn't!
00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:55,293 [train whistle toots]
00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:58,421 Ouch. Ow.
00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:01,299 Would you look at that, honey?
00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:04,427 Somebody dropped off a perfectly good trash can.
00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:05,804 Yeah.
00:14:05,929 --> 00:14:07,305 [baby chatter]
00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:10,016 Booby, where have you been?
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:11,768 Dinner's been ready for five minutes.
00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:13,436 - Sorry, Mom, I just had to deal with Ike.
00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:14,855 He's been cranky.
00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:16,731 How is my little jelly bean?
00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:18,567 [fake baby chatter]
00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:20,193 I'm gonna take him up to the bathroom to get washed up.
00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:22,153 Okay, but first let Mommy give you a kiss.
00:14:23,238 --> 00:14:25,115 No, Mom, he doesn't want you kissing him.
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,200 [shrieks]
00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:28,618 Oh, my God, make him stop!
00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:29,870 Put it down, you stupid dog!
00:14:29,995 --> 00:14:32,247 My baby. Oh, God!
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,332 Get out of here, you mutt, let him go!
00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:38,128 Oh, my baby! Boobala...
00:14:38,253 --> 00:14:39,546 [screams]
00:14:39,671 --> 00:14:41,715 Baby! - Huh?
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,009 [tires squealing, screaming]
00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:45,260 [explosion]
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,804 Oh, he's dead. He's dead.
00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:50,140 My little boobala's dead.
00:14:50,265 --> 00:14:53,310 here, there, Sheila. There's nothing we can do.
00:14:53,435 --> 00:14:54,936 [crying]
00:14:58,356 --> 00:14:59,733 "Yea, usher us unto the Lord,"
00:14:59,858 --> 00:15:01,359 sayeth some Jewish guy once.
00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:04,029 Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
00:15:04,154 --> 00:15:07,032 ["Hava Nagila" on bagpipes]
00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:10,619 ♪♪
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,495 Hey, wait a minute.
00:15:12,621 --> 00:15:14,331 How come Ike's tombstone has a Canadian flag on it?
00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:16,333 Well, booby, there's something you have to know.
00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:18,960 Ike wasn't really your brother. He was adopted.
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,462 What?
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:21,463 He was not really a Broflovski.
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:22,881 He was Canadian.
00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:24,007 But we loved him all the same.
00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:25,634 [cries]
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:27,344 You mean to tell me that all this time
00:15:27,469 --> 00:15:28,386 I've been trying to protect Ike from having
00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:29,721 his fireman cut off,
00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:31,097 and he's not even my real brother?
00:15:31,222 --> 00:15:32,724 What are you talking about?
00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:35,310 Dude, Ike isn't dead. He's in Nebraska.
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,978 What, what, what?
00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:38,772 Dude, you shouldn't have told them that.
00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:40,273 Now they're gonna find him and cut off his penis.
00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:41,733 "Fireman." - Oh, who the hell cares?
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:42,734 He's not even my responsibility.
00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:45,487 [yelps]
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,656 Oh, my God. They've killed Kenny!
00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:49,574 You bastards.
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:52,118 Yea, let us ponder the Lord's mercies.
00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:53,745 Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:55,413 [plays "Hava Nagila on bagpipes"]
00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:02,796 Get out of the way, you damn hippie.
00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:03,922 - I don't need to take your right wing,
00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:05,423 authoritative bullshit.
00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:07,008 What?
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,927 You're just like the government, man,
00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:11,680 trying to prosecute out one side of your mouth, okay.
00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:14,849 While supporting guns out of the other, okay.
00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:17,560 Eh, why don't you go to a Grateful Dead concert?
00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:21,272 I can't, man. Jer-bear's dead, okay.
00:16:21,398 --> 00:16:24,359 Hey, man, I overheard what you said.
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:25,777 That was cool.
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:27,821 What? Oh, thanks, man.
00:16:27,946 --> 00:16:31,199 Would you like to come over to my place and finger paint?
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,450 Sure, man.
00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:35,745 Finger painting's cool, okay.
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,669 Now, where did you leave him, young man?
00:16:42,794 --> 00:16:44,462 How the hell should I know?
00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:46,631 Gerald, do something about your smart-ass son.
00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:49,551 Uh, mind your mother, smart-ass.
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,136 If we don't find him, so help me,
00:16:51,261 --> 00:16:53,221 you're gonna be grounded for a month!
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,598 All this time, "look out for your little brother, Kyle,"
00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:57,225 "Take care of your little brother, Kyle,"
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:58,727 and he wasn't even really my little brother!
00:16:58,852 --> 00:17:00,228 Kyle, just because Ike is adopted
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:01,813 doesn't make him any less your brother.
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:03,398 Yeah, right.
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,066 Excuse me.
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:07,027 We're looking for a two-year-old Canadian boy.
00:17:07,152 --> 00:17:09,237 Two-year-old Canadian boy, two-year-old Canadian boy...
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,781 Oh, I think they might have one of those down at Hap's Bar.
00:17:11,906 --> 00:17:13,074 Come on!
00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:22,000 Ike!
00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:23,501 [baby chatter]
00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:25,336 Hey, lady, that's my table post!
00:17:25,462 --> 00:17:26,671 You can't have that!
00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:31,468 Wow, man.
00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:33,261 You know, it's like,
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,888 you go through life thinking
00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:36,723 that you're an individual, okay.
00:17:36,848 --> 00:17:38,933 Then you realize that you're more than that, okay?
00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:42,020 We're all just one big individual, okay?
00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:46,608 Let's get married and have a honeymoon in India.
00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:49,402 Okay.
00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:53,782 - Now, you march to your room
00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:55,784 and you think about what you've done!
00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:57,744 But first apologize to your brother.
00:17:57,869 --> 00:17:59,079 He's not my brother!
00:17:59,204 --> 00:18:00,413 Apologize to him!
00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:01,664 I'm sorry, Ike.
00:18:01,790 --> 00:18:02,832 [baby chatter]
00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:11,257 Wow, this is so beautiful.
00:18:11,382 --> 00:18:13,134 I am one with the animals
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,552 and the trees.
00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:16,679 And I am one with you.
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:20,016 ♪ At long last I have found ♪
00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:22,977 ♪ A true reason to be ♪
00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:25,980 ♪ Now I feel I can start anew-- ♪
00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:27,232 Oh! Oh!
00:18:27,357 --> 00:18:29,609 Ow, hey! [grunts]
00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:30,944 Whoa.
00:18:31,069 --> 00:18:33,238 [grunts] Okay.
00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:34,614 What the hell's going on?
00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:35,990 Tough love, Mr. Mackey.
00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:37,408 We're taking you to rehab.
00:18:37,534 --> 00:18:38,910 I don't want to go to rehab.
00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:40,745 I haven't even done drugs in weeks.
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:42,455 We were wrong for shunning you, Mr. Mackey,
00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:44,165 and we apologize.
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,084 We should've realized that you needed help.
00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:48,086 Yeah, now we'll make sure you get the help you need.
00:18:48,211 --> 00:18:49,629 I don't want help!
00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:51,297 You'll thank us later.
00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:55,426 Hello, Tom. Hello, Patty.
00:18:55,552 --> 00:18:57,053 Thanks for coming to Ike's bris.
00:18:57,178 --> 00:18:59,389 Look, Ike, it's your Uncle Murray.
00:18:59,514 --> 00:19:00,765 Hello, Ike.
00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:02,559 Say, where's little Kyle?
00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:04,602 He's been sent to his room for being a bastard.
00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:07,021 He's decided that Ike isn't his brother since he's adopted.
00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:09,566 Hi, there. - Hello, do I know you?
00:19:09,691 --> 00:19:11,151 Oh, no, but I never miss a bris.
00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:12,360 Here, I brought some dip.
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:14,195 Oh, thanks.
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,030 Well, I guess the chopping is about to commence.
00:19:16,156 --> 00:19:17,407 [baby chatter]]
00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:18,825 What do you want?
00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:22,078 [baby chatter]
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:25,999 Oh, no, you don't.
00:19:26,124 --> 00:19:27,667 That isn't gonna work on me, Canadian.
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:29,460 Maybe you're being too hard on him, dude.
00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:30,587 No way, there's no real connection between us.
00:19:30,712 --> 00:19:31,671 It was all a big lie.
00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:33,006 Cookie Monster.
00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:35,258 Two, three, four, five...
00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:36,885 Go on, Canadian, beat it!
00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:38,136 I'm through getting in trouble for you!
00:19:38,261 --> 00:19:40,430 [baby chatter]
00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:43,683 You have to admit you have a problem
00:19:43,808 --> 00:19:45,310 before anybody can help you.
00:19:45,435 --> 00:19:47,729 But I don't think I really have a problem.
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:49,439 Nonsense, you did drugs.
00:19:49,564 --> 00:19:51,024 I suppose you forgot all about your family?
00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:52,692 I don't really have a family.
00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:54,152 And you lost your job.
00:19:54,277 --> 00:19:55,778 No, I lost my job before that.
00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:57,739 Mr. Mackey, you're supposed to be an adult.
00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:58,948 The problem with drugs is that people forget
00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:00,867 to stop doing them.
00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:02,243 There's a time and a place for everything, Mr. Mackey,
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:03,828 and it's called "college."
00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:05,914 Now I want you to repeat after me:
00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:08,082 drugs are bad.
00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:10,001 Drugs are bad.
00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:12,962 Drugs are bad.
00:20:13,087 --> 00:20:15,089 Drugs are bad.
00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,509 Hello, Dr. Schwartz.
00:20:18,635 --> 00:20:20,011 Thank you so much for coming all this way
00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:21,679 to perform Ike's bris.
00:20:21,804 --> 00:20:23,223 Oh, my pleasure, Sheila.
00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:24,933 I brought the normal cutting device,
00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:27,143 but then I remembered that Ike was Canadian,
00:20:27,268 --> 00:20:28,686 so I brought the right one.
00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:30,188 Where is the little rug-rat?
00:20:30,313 --> 00:20:32,565 Right over here.
00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:33,775 Come here, you.
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:35,485 Ow!
00:20:35,610 --> 00:20:37,111 [baby chatter]
00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:41,699 Ike!
00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:43,243 Ike!
00:20:43,368 --> 00:20:46,829 [baby chatter]
00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:52,377 There you are. Come on, Ike, it's time.
00:20:54,212 --> 00:20:56,130 You stay away from my little brother!
00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:57,715 But son, I just--
00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,175 You aren't gonna cut off his wee-wee!
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:00,718 Not today, you sick-ass weirdo!
00:21:00,843 --> 00:21:02,345 Kyle, what are you talking about?
00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:04,597 And you! You should be ashamed of yourself.
00:21:04,722 --> 00:21:06,266 Don't you understand that us males
00:21:06,391 --> 00:21:07,892 are defined by our firemen?
00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:10,520 Yes, the fireman is very magical.
00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:13,022 If you rub his helmet, he spits in your eye.
00:21:14,649 --> 00:21:16,192 Kyle, a circumcision
00:21:16,317 --> 00:21:18,528 is a very common thing for Ike to have.
00:21:18,653 --> 00:21:20,863 His father had it, his grandfather had it,
00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:23,658 and his brother had it.
00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:24,993 No!
00:21:25,118 --> 00:21:26,452 No, it isn't true!
00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:28,079 We're not going to cut it off.
00:21:28,204 --> 00:21:29,914 We're just gonna snip it so that it looks bigger.
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,501 Oh, hey, that doesn't sound like a bad idea.
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,545 Yeah, I want to get a "circum-stision" too.
00:21:38,381 --> 00:21:39,674 Congratulations, Mr. Mackey.
00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:41,467 You are fully recovered.
00:21:41,592 --> 00:21:43,469 I can't thank you enough for everything, okay.
00:21:43,594 --> 00:21:45,555 I feel like my old self again.
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,391 Just one more thing...
00:21:48,516 --> 00:21:50,935 Remember that you can stay sober.
00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:52,937 I will, Miss Social Worker.
00:21:53,062 --> 00:21:55,315 I will, okay.
00:21:56,357 --> 00:21:57,567 It's okay, Ike, I'm here.
00:21:57,692 --> 00:22:00,236 And a one and a two and a...
00:22:00,361 --> 00:22:01,404 Bris!
00:22:01,529 --> 00:22:04,449 Ouch. [baby chatter]
00:22:04,574 --> 00:22:05,783 Cookie Monster.
00:22:05,908 --> 00:22:07,702 Ike, you're okay.
00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:09,620 Wow, dude, I guess having a bris isn't all that bad.
00:22:09,746 --> 00:22:11,289 Yeah, you know, I've learned something today.
00:22:11,414 --> 00:22:12,707 Family isn't about whose blood you have.
00:22:12,832 --> 00:22:13,833 It's about who you care about.
00:22:13,958 --> 00:22:15,293 Yeah.
00:22:15,418 --> 00:22:17,045 And that's why I feel you guys
00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:18,087 are more than just friends; you're my family.
00:22:18,212 --> 00:22:19,505 Except for Cartman.
00:22:19,630 --> 00:22:21,466 Naturally. - Screw you, guys!
00:22:21,591 --> 00:22:22,675 I don't want to be in your penis chopping family anyway!
00:22:25,636 --> 00:22:26,929 And so now, children,
00:22:27,055 --> 00:22:28,723 your school counselor is back
00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:31,351 to tell you firsthand about his nasty experience
00:22:31,476 --> 00:22:33,644 with drugs and alcohol.
00:22:33,770 --> 00:22:36,981 Okay, kids, you shouldn't do drugs, okay.
00:22:37,106 --> 00:22:38,691 Drugs are bad.
00:22:38,816 --> 00:22:40,360 You see, I was at the bottom of the barrel.
00:22:40,485 --> 00:22:41,861 I was a wreck.
00:22:41,986 --> 00:22:43,488 Well, I didn't even care about money.
00:22:43,613 --> 00:22:45,615 I was--I was wasting my life...
00:22:45,740 --> 00:22:47,617 Hey, you guys want to come to my bris tomorrow?
00:22:47,742 --> 00:22:48,910 You can't have your bris tomorrow, Cartman.
00:22:49,035 --> 00:22:50,495 That's when I'm having mine.
00:22:50,620 --> 00:22:52,163 No way, I set up mine first, hippie!
00:22:52,288 --> 00:22:54,207 Now, boys, you need to listen up, okay.
00:22:54,332 --> 00:22:57,251 What I'm talking about might save your life someday, okay.
00:22:57,377 --> 00:22:59,212 [as Mackey] Okay, Mr. Mackey, okay.
00:22:59,337 --> 00:23:00,671 Okay. - [as Mackey] Okay.
00:23:00,797 --> 00:23:02,256 Okay. - [as Mackey] Okay.
00:23:02,382 --> 00:23:03,800 Okay.
00:23:03,925 --> 00:23:06,302 Now, as I was saying, drugs are bad.
00:23:06,427 --> 00:23:07,845 You shouldn't do drugs.
00:23:07,970 --> 00:23:10,431 If you do them, you're bad.
00:23:10,556 --> 00:23:12,517 Because drugs are bad, okay.
00:23:12,642 --> 00:23:14,310 It's a bad thing to do, drugs,
00:23:14,435 --> 00:23:16,687 so don't be bad by doing drugs, okay.
00:23:16,813 --> 00:23:18,272 That'd be bad.
00:23:18,398 --> 00:23:20,608 Drugs are bad, okay.
00:23:20,733 --> 00:23:23,611 <i>[funky music]</i>
00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:30,743 ♪♪

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