Не без моего ануса

00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:23,274

And we're Trey Parker

and Matt Stone,

00:00:23,399 --> 00:00:26,944

and this is "Terrance and

Phillip: Not Without My Anus,"

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which is our favorite episode,

and it really is.

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I know we always say that,

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but this one really is

our favorite episode.

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This, uh -- we did this show

last year.

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It aired on April Fools' Day,

00:00:37,913 --> 00:00:40,458

and it was supposed to be

an April Fools' joke, and--

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What are you doing?

00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:43,419

I'm doing a -- you know,

the MTV stuff.

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- Don't do that.

- You know--come on.

00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:46,047

Don't do--no, don't do that.

00:00:46,172 --> 00:00:47,965

- All right.

- Just sit there.

00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:49,675

It aired on April Fools' Day.

00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:52,261

We'd set up the end of

season one with a cliffhanger

00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,930

about who Cartman's dad was.

00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:57,183

You had to tune in to find out

who Cartman's dad was,

00:00:57,308 --> 00:00:59,310

and it was April 1st,

00:00:59,435 --> 00:01:01,645

so instead of telling you

who Cartman's dad was,

00:01:01,771 --> 00:01:03,147

we aired an entire Terrance

and Phillip episode,

00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:04,440

which we thought was hilarious,

00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,317

but it didn't go over

very well.

00:01:06,442 --> 00:01:07,943

- Most of America hated it, yeah.

- Everyone hated it.

00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:09,779

And they--'cause they--

they were like,

00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:11,572

"Well, who's Cartman's dad?

Who's Cartman's dad?"

00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:13,240

And everyone sat through

this episode waiting to see

00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:15,326

who Cartman's dad was

and didn't get to really

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experience the beauty and the--

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the awesomeness

of this episode,

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and so we're really glad

that it's out on video

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so now people can enjoy it

for what it is.

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We're very glad this episode

is out on video.

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Because now everyone can see

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what a brilliant piece of work

it is.

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So enjoy "Terrance and

Phillip: Not Without My Anus."

00:01:52,113 --> 00:01:54,907

Since the last "South Park,"

you've waited four long weeks

00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:58,410

to find out who the father

of Eric Cartman is.

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Now finally, the shocking

truth about Cartman's lineage

00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:04,875

will not be seen tonight

so that we can bring you

00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,169

the following

special presentation.

00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:12,258

Now get ready for Canada's

hottest action stars,

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Terrance and Phillip

in the HBC Movie of the Week.

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Ladies and gentlemen,

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before you today

sits a murderer.

00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,233

On the night in question,

00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:31,193

this monster entered

the home of Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer

00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:33,362

and struck him repeatedly

in the head with this hammer.

00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,531

That monster is sitting

right over there

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and his name

is Terrance!

00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:42,288

Terrance,

you farted in court.

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Yes, Phillip, I'm making

a case for our defense.

00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:47,459

All of these things

link Terrance to the murder.

00:02:47,585 --> 00:02:49,920

Hair fibers, blood samples,

nail clippings,

00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:51,964

a piece of his shirt,

00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:53,591

a watch with his

initials on it.

00:02:53,716 --> 00:02:56,010

A day planner with

the murder scheduled.

00:02:56,135 --> 00:02:58,721

A haiku called "Time to Kill

Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer".

00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:01,849

"Dr. O'Dwyer, time to

have your head smashed in

00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:04,727

with my new hammer."

00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:07,188

Terrance, you may be

a famous surgeon,

00:03:07,313 --> 00:03:08,230

but you're

not God!

00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:10,316

J'accuse,

Terrance.

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Would you like

a "monkey claw", Phillip?

00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:12,735

Yes, please.

00:03:15,154 --> 00:03:16,906

That's called

the "monkey claw"

00:03:17,031 --> 00:03:18,365

because it feels like my colon

is being ripped apart

00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:20,075

by a thousand monkeys.

00:03:20,201 --> 00:03:21,535

The "monkey claw"

is smelly.

00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:22,912

Come on,

get a move on.

00:03:23,037 --> 00:03:24,246

I ain't getting

any younger up here.

00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:26,123

My sentiments exactly,

Your Honor.

00:03:26,248 --> 00:03:28,000

I see from your accent

that you're southern Canadian.

00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:29,543

That is correct.

00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:31,253

Good people of the jury,

my client, Terrance,

00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:32,338

is an

innocent man.

00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:36,675

Oh, Phillip, now you farted

during the closing argument!

00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:37,801

I have, haven't I,

Terrance?

00:03:39,929 --> 00:03:41,555

Your Honor,

00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,474

the defense is trying to make

a mockery of this court.

00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:45,392

They think that farts

are funny, but they're not!

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Sustained.

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Good people of the jury,

my client Terrance

00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:51,023

is no more a murderer

than you or me.

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He loves puppies

and hates mean things.

00:03:53,609 --> 00:03:56,403

Would a murderer go to the zoo

and feed animals like this?

00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:58,614

Of course not.

00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,950

So in summation,

find Terrance innocent,

00:04:01,075 --> 00:04:02,660

or else

he'll kill you.

00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:06,247

Just kidding.

00:04:06,372 --> 00:04:07,581

The defense

rests.

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God damn it,

that isn't funny.

00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:13,587

Madam foreperson,

have you reached a verdict

00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:15,089

so we can get

the hell out of here?

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We have, your honor.

We have found Terrance

00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:18,968

in the above entitled

action of murder

00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:19,969

against

Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer--

00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,555

You're gonna have to

repeat that verdict

00:04:23,681 --> 00:04:25,057

because we had some

flatulence issues.

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I said, we find--

00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,019

we find Terrance--

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not guilty!

00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:32,147

Did you hear that,

Terrance?

00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:33,941

You're not guilty!

00:04:34,066 --> 00:04:36,568

Oh, Phillip, you've saved me

from the gas chamber!

00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:40,948

Oh, no!

00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:42,658

That sure

was fun, Phillip.

00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,076

Let's go home

and eat kroff dinner.

00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:45,494

Here, here.

00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:46,745

Well, looks like

you got away with it,

00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:47,746

Terrance

and Phillip.

00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:49,081

Oh, hello,

Scott.

00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:50,541

No hard feelings,

right, old pal?

00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:52,209

There are hard feelings.

This isn't over!

00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:53,752

I'm gonna

see to it

00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:55,045

that you both pay

for what you've done!

00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:56,297

And do you

know why?

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'Cause you're

a dick?

00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:00,050

No, because

I hate you.

00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:02,428

You think farting is so funny.

Well, it isn't!

00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:04,138

Fart jokes are

the lowest form of comedy,

00:05:04,263 --> 00:05:05,139

and if I--

00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:07,933

Oh, I hate

you both!

00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:09,810

I've hated you ever since

I can remember.

00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:11,854

I hate you and I wish

you both had cancer!

00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,439

Cancer?

00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:14,898

Yes, in the head.

00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:16,400

Head cancer?

00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:18,360

This is not the end,

Terrance and Phillip.

00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:20,029

You'll rue

this day.

00:05:20,154 --> 00:05:21,989

Wow, Scott really

hates us, Phillip.

00:05:22,114 --> 00:05:25,284

Yes, perhaps

he's homophobic.

00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:27,036

But we're

not gay, Phillip.

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We're not?

00:05:28,746 --> 00:05:30,247

Well, let us board the subway

and return home.

00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:31,957

There we can eat

kroff dinner.

00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:33,625

Yes, it's been

a long day

00:05:33,751 --> 00:05:35,544

and only kroff dinner

can calm my nerves.

00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:43,886

Say, Phillip, why does Scott

00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,346

always try

to convict me of murder?

00:05:45,471 --> 00:05:46,722

He does it

every week.

00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,098

He sure does

seem to hate us.

00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:49,808

I wonder what

he'll try to do next.

00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:51,352

God only knows.

00:05:51,477 --> 00:05:53,062

The subway certainly

is wonderful, Terrance.

00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:55,230

It sure is. Let's

look for treasure.

00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:57,024

Yes, let's look

for treasure.

00:06:04,907 --> 00:06:06,575

Hello?

00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:07,659

Hello. Is this

Scott from Canada?

00:06:07,785 --> 00:06:08,994

Yes, yes, it is.

00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:10,496

You're a journalist,

right?

00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:12,289

Yes, I'm a television critic

for magazines.

00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:13,957

I understand that you hate

Terrance and Phillip.

00:06:14,083 --> 00:06:15,959

Yes, yes, I do.

00:06:16,085 --> 00:06:17,419

They think fart jokes are

a sophisticated form of comedy,

00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,046

but they're not.

00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:20,172

Well, what if I were to help

you get rid of them

00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:21,173

once and for all?

00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:22,966

Who is this?

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Let's just say that I'm someone

who can help you

00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:26,428

if you help me.

00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,972

Just call me your old pal,

Saddam Hussein.

00:06:29,098 --> 00:06:31,100

Saddam Hussein,

the Iraqi dictator?

00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:32,976

Hey, relax, guy,

I'm just your average Joe.

00:06:33,102 --> 00:06:34,019

Take a rest!

00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:35,729

What do you want?

00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:37,731

You want Terrance and Phillip

out of Canada.

00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:39,942

I want you to bring me

and my friends into Canada.

00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,527

That sounds like

a fair trade, doesn't it?

00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:42,903

Super,

let's get started.

00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:44,530

I'm not sure

I should trust you.

00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:46,990

Hey, relax, guy,

trust me.

00:06:51,954 --> 00:06:52,996

Well, it's too bad

we didn't find any treasure

00:06:53,122 --> 00:06:54,581

on the subway,

Phillip.

00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:55,958

Oh, hello,

Ugly Bob.

00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:58,043

Hello, Terrance.

Hello, Phillip.

00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:00,671

My God, you're looking

hideously ugly today,

Ugly Bob.

00:07:00,796 --> 00:07:02,089

How come you guys

say stuff like that?

00:07:02,214 --> 00:07:03,090

Because you're

Goddamned ugly, Bob.

00:07:03,215 --> 00:07:04,842

I know, but--

00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:06,385

Ugly Bob, your face looks

like somebody tried

00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:08,387

to put out a forest fire

with a screwdriver.

00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:10,097

I can't help

how I look.

00:07:10,222 --> 00:07:12,349

Besides, it's not what's

on the outside that matters,

00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:13,350

it's what's

on the inside.

00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:14,351

No, it isn't.

00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,229

Want to see what's on

the inside of me?

00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,650

Wait, wait,

I've got an idea!

00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,610

Why don't you put this

paper bag over your head,

Ugly Bob?

00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,237

Yes, if people

can't see your face,

00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:27,698

they won't know how

wretchedly ugly you are.

00:07:27,823 --> 00:07:29,283

Really?

Hey, thanks, you guys.

00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:30,951

Maybe now I can

score with chicks.

00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:32,619

Sure you can,

Ugly Bob.

00:07:32,744 --> 00:07:34,204

If they can't see how

horribly disfigured you are,

00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:35,622

they'll want to

sleep with you.

00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:36,790

Thanks,

you guys.

00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:41,879

Hello, Barky,

hello, Purry.

00:07:42,004 --> 00:07:42,880

Bark, bark!

00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:44,882

Prrr, prrr.

00:07:45,007 --> 00:07:46,425

Say, Terrance, I was just about

to make some kroff dinner.

00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:48,051

Would you

like some?

00:07:48,177 --> 00:07:49,470

You know I never turn down

kroff dinner, Phillip.

00:07:52,014 --> 00:07:53,390

I'm going to put on

a pirate costume.

00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:56,727

Special delivery

for Terrance.

00:07:56,852 --> 00:07:58,103

I'll take that.

00:07:58,228 --> 00:08:00,230

Sign here

and here and here,

00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:02,274

and here

and here.

00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:04,276

And here.

00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:05,319

Oh, Terrance!

00:08:05,444 --> 00:08:06,987

You got a letter!

00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:08,614

Shiver me timbers,

Phillip.

00:08:08,739 --> 00:08:10,157

At this rate I'll never get

to my kroff dinner.

00:08:10,282 --> 00:08:11,742

Oh my God!

00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:13,243

What is it, Terrance?

Did you fart?

00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:14,536

No, it's Sally.

00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,205

She's being held

captive in Iran.

00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:17,623

Not Sally! Dear God,

no, Terrance.

00:08:17,748 --> 00:08:20,042

Why Sally?

God, why?

00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,293

Say, Terrance,

who's Sally?

00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:22,961

My daughter.

00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:24,546

I never knew

you had a daughter, Terrance.

00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:26,173

Oh, yes.

Didn't I mention that, me hearties?

00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:27,966

No, you never did,

Terrance.

00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:31,345

Oh, well, it all began

15 years ago.

00:08:34,473 --> 00:08:36,767

My God, what a fascinating

story, Terrance,

00:08:36,892 --> 00:08:38,185

especially the part

about Celine Dion.

00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:39,937

Yes, indeed.

00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:41,355

But now my little Sally

is being held captive in Iran

00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:42,856

and I will have to

go and find her!

00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:44,233

And I will go

with you, Terrance.

00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:45,609

You are such

a good friend, Phillip.

00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,444

Well, you know

what they say.

00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:49,404

"A friend in need is a friend

with kroff dinner."

00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:50,822

Avast there, mateys.

00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,454

Hello,

Celine Dion.

00:08:57,579 --> 00:08:59,623

Terrance, this is

quite a surprise.

00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:00,666

You're

looking well.

00:09:00,791 --> 00:09:02,042

And you.

00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:03,961

Celine, where is

our daughter, Sally?

00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:06,088

She's in the Middle East

studying anthropology, why?

00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:07,881

Wrong!

00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:10,467

She's been taken hostage

and is now being held prisoner.

00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:12,052

What?

00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:13,303

Phillip and I are

going to Iran to find her,

00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:14,888

but we may

never return.

00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:17,224

Oh, Terrance,

what happened to us?

00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:19,351

We just grew apart,

Celine Dion.

00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,228

Please bring our daughter

home safe, Terrance.

00:09:26,942 --> 00:09:27,818

Hello,

Ugly Bob.

00:09:27,943 --> 00:09:29,278

Hi, guys.

00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:30,529

How's the paper bag

working out?

00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:31,822

People seem

to really like it.

00:09:31,947 --> 00:09:32,823

I even have

a date this Friday.

00:09:32,948 --> 00:09:34,449

Terrific!

00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:36,034

We need two tickets

for Tehran, please.

00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:37,536

Iran is dangerous.

You guys shouldn't go there.

00:09:37,661 --> 00:09:39,288

Damn it, man!

Danger or no,

00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:40,872

I'm going to help my friend

find his daughter!

00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:43,709

All right then, there's

a flight leaving today.

00:09:43,834 --> 00:09:45,419

Oh, good.

00:09:45,544 --> 00:09:47,629

Well, I certainly am going

to miss Canada, Terrance.

00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,131

Indeed, Phillip.

00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,174

Terrance,

if I die whilst in Iran,

00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:52,801

please bring my body

back to Canada

00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,053

and bury me in a box

with a side of kroff dinner.

00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:56,263

Same here,

Phillip.

00:09:56,388 --> 00:09:59,850

♪ O Canada ♪

00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:04,146

♪ Our home

and native land ♪

00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:08,317

♪ True patriot love ♪

00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:12,654

♪ In all

thy sons command ♪

00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:16,325

♪ With glowing hearts

we see thee rise ♪

00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:20,120

♪ The true north

strong and free ♪

00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:24,166

♪ From far and wide,

O Canada ♪

00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:28,253

♪ We stand on guard

for thee ♪

00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:32,299

♪ God keep our land... ♪

00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:35,594

Scott to Red Dragon.

Come in, Red Dragon.

00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:37,012

Go ahead, Scott.

This is Red Dragon.

00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,639

The plan is

working perfectly.

00:10:38,764 --> 00:10:39,723

Terrance and Phillip

have taken the bait.

00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:41,433

Excellent.

00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:42,809

My buddies and I are ready

to come to Canada.

00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:44,561

Has everything

been arranged?

00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:46,355

Yes, everything's proceeding

according to plan.

00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,148

Now, you promised that when

Terrance and Phillip arrive

00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:49,816

they'll be ripped into pieces

and shot several times.

00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:51,401

Hey, relax, guy.

00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:53,236

I'm gonna keep

my side of the bargain.

00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:55,238

Roger, Red Dragon.

Scott out.

00:10:55,364 --> 00:10:57,532

I've got you now,

you fart-loving fart lovers.

00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:06,792

I got ya!

00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:18,011

Oh, Phillip.

00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:20,097

How will I ever find my fugitive daughter

in this daunting place?

00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:21,264

We don't speak

the language.

00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:22,641

We are unwelcome

strangers,

00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:24,309

and we have no idea

where to begin.

00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:25,394

Oh, look,

there she is.

00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:26,395

Oh, good.

00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:27,396

Who? Where?

00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:28,772

I'm here, Sally.

00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:30,565

It's your father,

Terrance.

00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:31,942

I'm here to save you

from your smelly Iranian

captors.

00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:33,026

Papa.

00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,403

Say, she looks a lot more

00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:35,404

like Celine Dion than you,

Terrance.

00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,365

Oh, now I see

the resemblance!

00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:40,033

Well, enough of Iran,

let's get home.

00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:47,332

Well, now that I have

my bastard daughter back,

00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,084

I feel like going

to Celine Dion's house

00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,044

and asking her

to marry me again.

00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:53,296

Oh, raspberries,

looks like I'm losing a friend.

00:11:53,422 --> 00:11:54,673

No, you're gaining

a pop vocalist.

00:11:54,798 --> 00:11:56,925

Oh my God!

What is this?

00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,387

Is this Canada?

00:12:00,512 --> 00:12:02,639

It seems

to have changed.

00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:03,932

This is madness!

00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:09,479

What's going on,

Phillip?

00:12:09,604 --> 00:12:10,939

How could Canada have changed

so much whilst we were gone?

00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,816

I don't know,

Terrance.

00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:14,693

And who is that smelly person

in all these pictures?

00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:16,153

I must take my bastard daughter

back to Celine Dion

00:12:16,278 --> 00:12:17,821

and see what

she has to say.

00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:24,745

Celine, I brought

our daughter Sally back

00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:26,496

and I want

to tell you that--

00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:28,123

Terrance, could you

come back a little later?

00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,458

Why?

00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:31,376

Uh... I'm just

a little busy right now.

00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:33,378

You've got a man over,

don't you, Celine Dion?

00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:34,379

Well, I--

00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:35,714

Hi, guys.

00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:37,215

Oh my God,

it's Ugly Bob!

00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:38,800

What the hell

are you doing here?

00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:40,177

I'm doing Celine Dion,

what's it look like?

00:12:40,302 --> 00:12:41,553

Oh, Celine Dion,

what have you done?

00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:42,888

I was going to

make us a family again

00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:44,639

but now you've

slept with Ugly Bob.

00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:46,308

What do you mean? Why are you

calling him "Ugly Bob"?

00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,310

Because that's his name,

you stupid bitch.

00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,520

You told me your name

was "Handsome Bob"!

00:12:50,645 --> 00:12:52,189

Look at him,

Celine Dion.

00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:56,026

Behold his

horrible face.

00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:58,111

Oh my God,

he's hopelessly ugly,

00:12:58,236 --> 00:12:59,780

and I am pregnant

with his child!

00:12:59,905 --> 00:13:01,072

What?

No...!

00:13:01,198 --> 00:13:03,408

I'm going to have

a freak baby!

00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:05,368

Oh,

the humanity!

00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:09,414

Hey, Saddam,

00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:10,540

you helped me get rid of

Terrance and Phillip

00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:12,751

and I appreciate that,

00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:14,252

but why are framed pictures of you going up

all over Canada?

00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:15,712

Huh?

Oh, that?

00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,672

Don't worry, guy,

you just need a rest.

00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:19,257

No, I don't

need a rest.

00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:20,258

I want to know what

this is all about.

00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:21,885

Hey, relax, fella.

00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:23,261

I'm just making it so

that Terrance and Phillip

00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:24,554

can never come back

to Canada again.

00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:25,931

I just need

a couple of things

00:13:26,056 --> 00:13:27,307

and then I'm gonna

head back to Iran.

00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:28,850

I thought you were

from Iraq.

00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:29,976

Iran, Iraq,

what the hell's the difference?

00:13:30,101 --> 00:13:31,102

Relax, guy.

00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:38,318

Phillip, I'm convinced

that something

00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:39,903

very, very not good

is happening to Canada.

00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:42,155

Yes, I agree

whole-fartedly.

00:13:43,782 --> 00:13:44,991

Hey, what the hell

are you guys doing here?

00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:46,451

Oh, hello, Scott.

00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:48,453

You're not supposed

to be here.

00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:49,955

You're supposed to be in Iran

looking for your kidnapped--

00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,832

I mean,

how are you guys today?

00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:53,208

Wait, what were

you saying?

00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,334

Nothing, why?

00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:55,335

Hey, Scott,

guess what?

00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:56,336

What?

00:13:58,463 --> 00:14:00,715

I hate you more than ever,

Terrance and Phillip!

00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:02,717

I absolutely

abhor you both!

00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,262

What are

you doing, Scott?

00:14:05,387 --> 00:14:06,263

I'm wishing cancer

upon you.

00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:08,265

Cancer?

00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:10,308

That's right, I'm trying to

give you cancer with my mind.

00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:11,810

Ahh! Stop that!

00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:13,562

Hey, don't

give me cancer.

00:14:18,567 --> 00:14:21,194

Mr. Hussein, the U.S.

government is becoming worried.

00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:22,779

Worried?

About what?

00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:24,114

Take a load off,

relax.

00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:26,032

You seem to be

taking over Canada.

00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:27,868

"Taking over Canada,"

me?

00:14:27,993 --> 00:14:30,954

Hey, you need a rest, fella.

I'm not hiding any bombs.

00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:32,831

We didn't say

anything about bombs.

00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:34,875

Oh, you didn't?

Hey, relax.

00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,209

We're giving you

just three years

00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:37,878

to clear your forces

out of Canada.

00:14:38,003 --> 00:14:39,713

After that we're gonna

bomb all of Iran.

00:14:39,838 --> 00:14:41,214

I'm from Iraq.

00:14:41,339 --> 00:14:43,717

Iran, Iraq,

what's the difference?

00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:45,468

Ugh, I hate

Americans.

00:14:45,594 --> 00:14:46,720

Please let me

kill them.

00:14:46,845 --> 00:14:48,430

No, no, you need

to relax, guy.

00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,348

Remember the plan.

First we take over Canada,

00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:52,601

then we'll have the best of

the female pop vocalists.

00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:54,227

After that,

we'll take over the U.S.,

00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:56,354

then Europe, then China,

then Newfoundland,

00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:57,522

then the world!

00:14:58,648 --> 00:14:59,608

What's so funny?

00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:01,401

Nothing, relax, buddy.

00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:02,944

Saddam, Terrance and Phillip

are back in Canada.

00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:04,571

Oh, really?

00:15:04,696 --> 00:15:06,072

You promised me

they'd be gone for good.

00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:07,073

That was your

part of the bargain.

00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:08,533

I changed my mind.

00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:10,493

Pray that I don't

change it any further.

00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:13,705

This deal's getting

worse all the time.

00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,668

Hey, Terrance, let's watch

American television.

00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:20,503

Yeah, we can get

satellite feed from the U.S.

00:15:20,629 --> 00:15:22,839

And watch all

the stupid TV shows.

00:15:22,964 --> 00:15:24,799

Oh, look,

here's a show.

00:15:24,925 --> 00:15:26,176

you!

00:15:27,052 --> 00:15:28,303

Stupid.

00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:29,930

God damn,

their TV shows are lame.

00:15:30,055 --> 00:15:31,890

The father of

Eric Cartman is...

00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:35,018

Look at those

silly American heads.

00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:36,853

They look

like groundhogs.

00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:39,397

And in other news, it appears

that Saddam Hussein

00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:41,441

has finally signed an agreement

to let the U.S.

00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:43,735

inspect his

military operations.

00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,779

When asked if he would uphold

his side of the agreement,

00:15:45,904 --> 00:15:48,406

Hussein replied, quote,

"Hey, relax, fella,

00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:49,783

you need

a rest, guy."

00:15:49,908 --> 00:15:51,034

Hey, Phillip,

00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:52,410

isn't that

the smelly gentlemen

00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:53,662

we've seen in pictures

all over town?

00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:54,871

Yes, it is,

Terrance.

00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:56,414

According to

that newsy,

00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:58,083

he's some kind of

Turkish dictator.

00:15:58,208 --> 00:15:59,751

Well, we can't just sit here

and eat kroff dinner

00:15:59,876 --> 00:16:01,503

and let Canada

be overrun by the Turks.

00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:06,341

That fart sounded like

a ringing phone, Terrance.

00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:07,801

It sure did,

Phillip.

00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:12,180

Oh, wait,

that is the phone.

00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:13,223

Hello?

00:16:13,348 --> 00:16:14,307

Terrance, this is Scott.

00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:16,184

Oh, hey...

It's Scott.

00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:17,560

Tell him he's

a smelly bastard.

00:16:17,686 --> 00:16:18,770

Phillip says

hello, Scott.

00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:20,188

Just shut up

and listen.

00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,648

You've unleashed

a monster onto Canada.

00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:23,274

And only you

can get rid of him,

00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,068

even though I hate you

and I wish you had cancer.

00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:26,069

You are such

a dick, Scott.

00:16:26,194 --> 00:16:27,070

You're a dick.

00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:28,071

You're a dick.

00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:29,072

You're a dick.

00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:30,073

You're a dick.

00:16:30,198 --> 00:16:31,074

You're a dick.

00:16:31,199 --> 00:16:32,283

You're a dick.

00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:34,577

- You're a dick.

- You're a dick.

00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:36,329

The two of you are the most

annoying dicks in Canada.

00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:38,540

You give other Canadians

a bad name, and if I had my--

00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:40,083

I'm sorry, Scott,

could you hold on a minute?

00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:41,084

Sure.

00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:44,963

How do you

like that, Scott?

00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:46,840

You son of a bitch,

I'll get you if it's the last--

00:16:46,965 --> 00:16:49,050

Oh, wait, I have another call,

Scott, can you hang on?

00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:50,051

Sure.

00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:52,220

Oh, that was

Sir Smelly.

00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:53,221

He says hello.

00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,514

God damn it!

00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:55,515

Oh, wait a second,

Scott.

00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:56,516

Sure. I mean, no!

00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:57,851

You listen to me.

00:16:57,976 --> 00:16:59,477

If you want

to save Canada

00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:00,812

you'll meet me at

Karl's Kroff Dinner Restaurant

00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:02,147

in half an hour.

00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:06,234

Oh, Ugly Bob,

I'm so confused.

00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:09,779

I love your personality,

but you are so wretchedly ugly.

00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:11,197

Maybe the baby will have

your face instead of mine.

00:17:11,322 --> 00:17:12,532

We can

only hope.

00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:14,034

I suppose

we'll be okay

00:17:14,159 --> 00:17:16,786

as long as you keep

that bag on your head.

00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:18,163

What's this?

00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:19,414

Hey there,

my name's Saddam.

00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,332

I'm a big fan

of Polo.

00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:23,418

I've been searching a long time

for you, Celine Dion.

00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:24,836

Oh, no you don't,

she's my bitch.

00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:25,628

Hey, who are you?

00:17:25,754 --> 00:17:27,547

I'm Bob, but

my friends call me "Ugly Bob"

00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:29,299

because I have the features

of a deformed burn victim.

00:17:29,424 --> 00:17:31,342

Really? I thought all Canadians

looked alike.

00:17:31,468 --> 00:17:32,594

Let me see.

00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:36,181

Well,

I'm sorry, guy.

00:17:36,306 --> 00:17:37,849

You know, I could cure

that face of yours.

00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:38,433

You could?

00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,101

Sure. I just need a favor.

00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:42,062

There's a Canadian

football game tomorrow.

00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:43,813

The Ottawa Roughriders against

the Vancouver Roughriders.

00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:45,523

It's at that game

that I will officially turn

00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:47,025

the Canadian flag

over to my Iranian one.

00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:48,735

What?

Why?

00:17:48,860 --> 00:17:50,195

Hey, don't worry about that,

take a load off.

00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:51,571

Don't think about it,

look over here.

00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:53,364

All I need

is for Celine Dion

00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:55,533

to sing our Iranian

national anthem at the game

00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,368

to finalize my hostile takeover of Canada.

What do you say?

00:17:57,494 --> 00:18:00,080

Did you say hostile

takeover of Canada?

00:18:00,205 --> 00:18:01,956

No, no, relax there,

fella.

00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,172

Well, Scott said to meet him

here but he's not showing up.

00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:12,967

Well, while we're waiting,

00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:14,427

why don't we search

for treasure?

00:18:14,552 --> 00:18:16,387

Oh, good idea,

let's search for treasure.

00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:20,767

What are you idiots doing?

00:18:20,892 --> 00:18:22,185

We're looking for treasure.

00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:23,770

Is that some kind

of metaphor

00:18:23,895 --> 00:18:25,438

for a kind of search

that can't be described?

00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:27,899

No, we're searching

for treasure.

00:18:28,024 --> 00:18:29,317

Listen,

I have an inside scoop.

00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,069

There's an

Iraqi dictator

00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:32,821

who is quietly and slowly

taking over Canada.

00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:33,947

Yes, you mean

Saddam Smelly.

00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:35,573

We saw him

on the telly.

00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:36,699

Well, what are you two

gonna do about it?

00:18:36,825 --> 00:18:38,159

What do you mean?

00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:39,994

It's your fault

that he's here.

00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,454

You brought the Iraqis

back with you on your plane

00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:42,956

when you rescued

your kidnapped daughter.

00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:44,874

You mean we are to blame?

00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:47,377

That's right, and now

you must make amends.

00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:49,671

Tomorrow, Saddam will try to

finalize his takeover of Canada

00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:51,673

at the Roughriders/Roughriders

football game.

00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:53,007

It will be your only shot

at wiping them all out.

00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:54,008

Here, take this.

00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:55,009

What is this?

00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:56,636

It's a bomb.

00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:58,555

You must strap it to

yourselves, go to the game,

00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,640

and sacrifice your lives

to take out Saddam's minions.

00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:02,100

That sounds scary.

00:19:02,225 --> 00:19:03,685

Well, you must

do it for Canada.

00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,478

For Canada,

Terrance.

00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:07,188

For Canada,

Phillip.

00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:09,315

Yes, Terrance and Phillip.

00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:10,900

And when

the dust is settled

00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:12,527

Canada will be rid of

both the Iraqis

00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,571

and your immature

fart humor.

00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:21,035

Well, Phillip, I'm very sad

that we have to die for Canada.

00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:22,704

Yes.

00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,330

This bomb will blow us

both to smithereens.

00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:25,915

But we really

have no choice.

00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,458

Only our deaths

can bring Canada life.

00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:30,753

That's funny.

00:19:30,879 --> 00:19:32,088

Wait a minute,

Terrance,

00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:33,089

that fart

gives me pause.

00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:34,465

Why is that?

00:19:34,591 --> 00:19:36,050

That smelly

Saddam Hussein,

00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:37,594

he uses German chemical

warfare, does he not?

00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:39,304

Yes, apparently

he does.

00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:40,805

Terrance,

get the phone book.

00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:42,557

We must call every

Canadian we can.

00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,559

Oh, Phillip, it sounds like

you have an idea.

00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,144

I do,

Terrance.

00:19:52,609 --> 00:19:54,569

And the Roughriders are

really giving the Roughriders

00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,321

a run for their money.

00:19:56,446 --> 00:19:58,031

All else aside, I must say

that the Roughriders

00:19:58,156 --> 00:20:00,116

are simply outmatched

by these Roughriders.

00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:04,996

And that's going

to take us to halftime.

00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:06,414

Be sure to stick around

for the halftime show,

00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,249

Saddam and

the Electric Iraqis,

00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:10,710

in a salute

to hostile takeovers.

00:20:15,131 --> 00:20:17,050

Well, I guess

it's time, old friend.

00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:19,010

Yes, prepare

the alert.

00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:22,305

Hello to my

Canadian friends.

00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:24,390

Everybody, relax,

take a rest,

put your feet up.

00:20:24,515 --> 00:20:26,768

Those dogs

are barking.

00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:28,686

You may have noticed some

changes to your country.

00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:30,939

Don't worry about that.

The changes will continue.

00:20:31,064 --> 00:20:32,815

I'm here to announce

once and for all

00:20:32,941 --> 00:20:35,068

that Canada will now

be known as New Baghdad.

00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:43,201

You will bow down to me

as your ruler.

00:20:43,326 --> 00:20:45,203

You will obey my laws

or you will be killed.

00:20:46,955 --> 00:20:48,790

And now you will sing

the Iraqi national anthem

00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:50,959

or you will be

stabbed in the head.

00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:55,213

Now, Phillip?

00:20:55,338 --> 00:20:56,506

Now, Terrance.

00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:03,888

Hey, what the hell

is this?

00:21:13,731 --> 00:21:15,108

They're using

chemical warfare.

00:21:15,233 --> 00:21:16,901

How could they?

00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:28,871

We did it,

Phillip.

00:21:28,997 --> 00:21:30,331

We destroyed

the Turks!

00:21:30,456 --> 00:21:32,250

Oh, glorious day.

00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:43,386

Terrance, Terrance,

you've saved Canada.

00:21:43,511 --> 00:21:44,929

Oh, it was all

Phillip's idea.

00:21:45,054 --> 00:21:46,264

God bless you,

Phillip.

00:21:46,389 --> 00:21:47,473

Don't touch me,

Ugly Bob.

00:21:47,598 --> 00:21:48,808

Hey, what the hell

happened?

00:21:48,933 --> 00:21:50,226

You were supposed

to be blown up!

00:21:50,351 --> 00:21:51,894

We came up with

a better plan.

00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:53,354

You see, Scott,

after all your criticism,

00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:55,398

it was farting

that saved Canada.

00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:57,191

Oh, that is

so juvenile.

00:21:57,317 --> 00:21:58,901

Hey, Scott,

do you like apples?

00:21:59,027 --> 00:21:59,902

Of course.

00:22:01,571 --> 00:22:02,822

How do you like

them apples?

00:22:02,947 --> 00:22:05,533

I hate you,

Terrance and Phillip!

00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:07,994

Oh, Celine Dion.

00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:09,579

You never finished

that national anthem.

00:22:09,704 --> 00:22:11,456

You're right, Terrance,

you're right.

00:22:12,373 --> 00:22:16,711

♪ O Canada,

our home and native land ♪

00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:20,423

♪ True patriot love ♪

00:22:20,548 --> 00:22:24,635

♪ In all

thy sons command ♪

00:22:24,761 --> 00:22:28,348

♪ With glowing hearts

we see thee rise ♪

00:22:28,473 --> 00:22:31,934

♪ The true north

strong and free ♪

00:22:32,060 --> 00:22:36,022

♪ From far and wide,

O Canada ♪

00:22:36,147 --> 00:22:39,942

♪ We stand

on guard for thee ♪

00:22:40,068 --> 00:22:44,655

♪ God,

keep our land ♪

00:22:44,781 --> 00:22:48,409

♪ Glorious and free ♪

00:22:48,534 --> 00:22:52,163

♪ O Canada ♪

00:22:52,288 --> 00:22:56,959

♪ We stand

on guard for thee ♪

00:22:57,085 --> 00:23:00,797

♪ O Canada ♪

00:23:00,922 --> 00:23:07,387

♪ We stand on

guard for thee ♪

00:23:15,269 --> 00:23:17,563

Who is Eric Cartman's

father?

00:23:17,688 --> 00:23:20,066

Find out on an all-new

"South Park"

00:23:20,191 --> 00:23:21,859

in just a few weeks.

00:00:18,394 --> 00:00:21,063

- Hi, I'm Trey Parker.

- And I'm Matt Stone.

00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:23,274

And we're Trey Parker

and Matt Stone,

00:00:23,399 --> 00:00:26,944

and this is "Terrance and

Phillip: Not Without My Anus,"

00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:29,655

which is our favorite episode,

and it really is.

00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:31,365

I know we always say that,

00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:32,992

but this one really is

our favorite episode.

00:00:33,117 --> 00:00:35,828

This, uh -- we did this show

last year.

00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:37,788

It aired on April Fools' Day,

00:00:37,913 --> 00:00:40,458

and it was supposed to be

an April Fools' joke, and--

00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:41,959

What are you doing?

00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:43,419

I'm doing a -- you know,

the MTV stuff.

00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:44,670

- Don't do that.

- You know--come on.

00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:46,047

Don't do--no, don't do that.

00:00:46,172 --> 00:00:47,965

- All right.

- Just sit there.

00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:49,675

It aired on April Fools' Day.

00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:52,261

We'd set up the end of

season one with a cliffhanger

00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,930

about who Cartman's dad was.

00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:57,183

You had to tune in to find out

who Cartman's dad was,

00:00:57,308 --> 00:00:59,310

and it was April 1st,

00:00:59,435 --> 00:01:01,645

so instead of telling you

who Cartman's dad was,

00:01:01,771 --> 00:01:03,147

we aired an entire Terrance

and Phillip episode,

00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:04,440

which we thought was hilarious,

00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,317

but it didn't go over

very well.

00:01:06,442 --> 00:01:07,943

- Most of America hated it, yeah.

- Everyone hated it.

00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:09,779

And they--'cause they--

they were like,

00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:11,572

"Well, who's Cartman's dad?

Who's Cartman's dad?"

00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:13,240

And everyone sat through

this episode waiting to see

00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:15,326

who Cartman's dad was

and didn't get to really

00:01:15,451 --> 00:01:17,036

experience the beauty and the--

00:01:17,161 --> 00:01:18,704

the awesomeness

of this episode,

00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:20,998

and so we're really glad

that it's out on video

00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:22,666

so now people can enjoy it

for what it is.

00:01:22,792 --> 00:01:26,170

We're very glad this episode

is out on video.

00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:28,047

Because now everyone can see

00:01:28,172 --> 00:01:30,091

what a brilliant piece of work

it is.

00:01:30,216 --> 00:01:32,968

So enjoy "Terrance and

Phillip: Not Without My Anus."

00:01:38,307 --> 00:01:40,893

[indistinct chatter]

00:01:52,113 --> 00:01:54,907

Since the last "South Park,"

you've waited four long weeks

00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:58,410

to find out who the father

of Eric Cartman is.

00:01:58,536 --> 00:02:01,455

Now finally, the shocking

truth about Cartman's lineage

00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:04,875

will not be seen tonight

so that we can bring you

00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,169

the following

special presentation.

00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:12,258

Now get ready for Canada's

hottest action stars,

00:02:12,383 --> 00:02:15,344

Terrance and Phillip

in the HBC Movie of the Week.

00:02:24,395 --> 00:02:25,729

Ladies and gentlemen,

00:02:25,855 --> 00:02:27,356

before you today

sits a murderer.

00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,233

On the night in question,

00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:31,193

this monster entered

the home of Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer

00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:33,362

and struck him repeatedly

in the head with this hammer.

00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,531

That monster is sitting

right over there

00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,825

and his name

is Terrance!

00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:40,077

( farting )

00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:42,288

Terrance,

you farted in court.

00:02:42,413 --> 00:02:44,415

Yes, Phillip, I'm making

a case for our defense.

00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:47,459

All of these things

link Terrance to the murder.

00:02:47,585 --> 00:02:49,920

Hair fibers, blood samples,

nail clippings,

00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:51,964

a piece of his shirt,

00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:53,591

a watch with his

initials on it.

00:02:53,716 --> 00:02:56,010

A day planner with

the murder scheduled.

00:02:56,135 --> 00:02:58,721

A haiku called "Time to Kill

Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer".

00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:01,849

"Dr. O'Dwyer, time to

have your head smashed in

00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:04,727

with my new hammer."

00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:07,188

Terrance, you may be

a famous surgeon,

00:03:07,313 --> 00:03:08,230

but you're

not God!

00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:10,316

J'accuse,

Terrance.

00:03:10,441 --> 00:03:11,734

Would you like

a "monkey claw", Phillip?

00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:12,735

Yes, please.

00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:13,736

( farting )

00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,029

( laughing )

00:03:15,154 --> 00:03:16,906

That's called

the "monkey claw"

00:03:17,031 --> 00:03:18,365

because it feels like my colon

is being ripped apart

00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:20,075

by a thousand monkeys.

00:03:20,201 --> 00:03:21,535

The "monkey claw"

is smelly.

00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:22,912

Come on,

get a move on.

00:03:23,037 --> 00:03:24,246

I ain't getting

any younger up here.

00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:26,123

My sentiments exactly,

Your Honor.

00:03:26,248 --> 00:03:28,000

I see from your accent

that you're southern Canadian.

00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:29,543

That is correct.

00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:31,253

Good people of the jury,

my client, Terrance,

00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:32,338

is an

innocent man.

00:03:32,463 --> 00:03:34,131

( farting )

00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:36,675

Oh, Phillip, now you farted

during the closing argument!

00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:37,801

I have, haven't I,

Terrance?

00:03:37,927 --> 00:03:38,802

( farting )

00:03:38,928 --> 00:03:39,803

( laughing )

00:03:39,929 --> 00:03:41,555

Your Honor,

00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,474

the defense is trying to make

a mockery of this court.

00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:45,392

They think that farts

are funny, but they're not!

00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:47,061

Sustained.

00:03:47,186 --> 00:03:49,021

Good people of the jury,

my client Terrance

00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:51,023

is no more a murderer

than you or me.

00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:53,484

He loves puppies

and hates mean things.

00:03:53,609 --> 00:03:56,403

Would a murderer go to the zoo

and feed animals like this?

00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:58,614

Of course not.

00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,950

So in summation,

find Terrance innocent,

00:04:01,075 --> 00:04:02,660

or else

he'll kill you.

00:04:02,785 --> 00:04:03,953

( gasping )

00:04:04,078 --> 00:04:04,954

( laughing )

00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:06,247

Just kidding.

00:04:06,372 --> 00:04:07,581

The defense

rests.

00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:08,832

( farting )

00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:11,418

God damn it,

that isn't funny.

00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:13,587

Madam foreperson,

have you reached a verdict

00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:15,089

so we can get

the hell out of here?

00:04:15,214 --> 00:04:16,966

We have, your honor.

We have found Terrance

00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:18,968

in the above entitled

action of murder

00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:19,969

against

Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer--

00:04:20,094 --> 00:04:21,595

( farting )

00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,555

You're gonna have to

repeat that verdict

00:04:23,681 --> 00:04:25,057

because we had some

flatulence issues.

00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:26,433

I said, we find--

00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:27,476

( farting )

00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,019

we find Terrance--

00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:30,980

not guilty!

00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:32,147

Did you hear that,

Terrance?

00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:33,941

You're not guilty!

00:04:34,066 --> 00:04:36,568

Oh, Phillip, you've saved me

from the gas chamber!

00:04:36,694 --> 00:04:38,404

( laughing )

00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:40,948

Oh, no!

00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:42,658

That sure

was fun, Phillip.

00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,076

Let's go home

and eat kroff dinner.

00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:45,494

Here, here.

00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:46,745

Well, looks like

you got away with it,

00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:47,746

Terrance

and Phillip.

00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:49,081

Oh, hello,

Scott.

00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:50,541

No hard feelings,

right, old pal?

00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:52,209

There are hard feelings.

This isn't over!

00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:53,752

I'm gonna

see to it

00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:55,045

that you both pay

for what you've done!

00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:56,297

And do you

know why?

00:04:56,422 --> 00:04:58,215

'Cause you're

a dick?

00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:00,050

No, because

I hate you.

00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:02,428

You think farting is so funny.

Well, it isn't!

00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:04,138

Fart jokes are

the lowest form of comedy,

00:05:04,263 --> 00:05:05,139

and if I--

00:05:05,264 --> 00:05:06,348

( farting )

00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:07,933

Oh, I hate

you both!

00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:09,810

I've hated you ever since

I can remember.

00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:11,854

I hate you and I wish

you both had cancer!

00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,439

Cancer?

00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:14,898

Yes, in the head.

00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:16,400

Head cancer?

00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:18,360

This is not the end,

Terrance and Phillip.

00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:20,029

You'll rue

this day.

00:05:20,154 --> 00:05:21,989

Wow, Scott really

hates us, Phillip.

00:05:22,114 --> 00:05:25,284

Yes, perhaps

he's homophobic.

00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:27,036

But we're

not gay, Phillip.

00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:28,620

We're not?

00:05:28,746 --> 00:05:30,247

Well, let us board the subway

and return home.

00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:31,957

There we can eat

kroff dinner.

00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:33,625

Yes, it's been

a long day

00:05:33,751 --> 00:05:35,544

and only kroff dinner

can calm my nerves.

00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:40,758

( farting )

00:05:40,883 --> 00:05:42,551

( laughing )

00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:43,886

Say, Phillip, why does Scott

00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,346

always try

to convict me of murder?

00:05:45,471 --> 00:05:46,722

He does it

every week.

00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,098

He sure does

seem to hate us.

00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:49,808

I wonder what

he'll try to do next.

00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:51,352

God only knows.

00:05:51,477 --> 00:05:53,062

The subway certainly

is wonderful, Terrance.

00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:55,230

It sure is. Let's

look for treasure.

00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:57,024

Yes, let's look

for treasure.

00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:04,782

( phone ringing )

00:06:04,907 --> 00:06:06,575

Hello?

00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:07,659

Hello. Is this

Scott from Canada?

00:06:07,785 --> 00:06:08,994

Yes, yes, it is.

00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:10,496

You're a journalist,

right?

00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:12,289

Yes, I'm a television critic

for magazines.

00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:13,957

I understand that you hate

Terrance and Phillip.

00:06:14,083 --> 00:06:15,959

Yes, yes, I do.

00:06:16,085 --> 00:06:17,419

They think fart jokes are

a sophisticated form of comedy,

00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,046

but they're not.

00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:20,172

Well, what if I were to help

you get rid of them

00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:21,173

once and for all?

00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:22,966

Who is this?

00:06:23,092 --> 00:06:24,635

Let's just say that I'm someone

who can help you

00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:26,428

if you help me.

00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,972

Just call me your old pal,

Saddam Hussein.

00:06:29,098 --> 00:06:31,100

Saddam Hussein,

the Iraqi dictator?

00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:32,976

Hey, relax, guy,

I'm just your average Joe.

00:06:33,102 --> 00:06:34,019

Take a rest!

00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:35,729

What do you want?

00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:37,731

You want Terrance and Phillip

out of Canada.

00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:39,942

I want you to bring me

and my friends into Canada.

00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,527

That sounds like

a fair trade, doesn't it?

00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:42,903

Super,

let's get started.

00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:44,530

I'm not sure

I should trust you.

00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:46,990

Hey, relax, guy,

trust me.

00:06:51,954 --> 00:06:52,996

Well, it's too bad

we didn't find any treasure

00:06:53,122 --> 00:06:54,581

on the subway,

Phillip.

00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:55,958

Oh, hello,

Ugly Bob.

00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:58,043

Hello, Terrance.

Hello, Phillip.

00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:00,671

My God, you're looking

hideously ugly today,

Ugly Bob.

00:07:00,796 --> 00:07:02,089

How come you guys

say stuff like that?

00:07:02,214 --> 00:07:03,090

Because you're

Goddamned ugly, Bob.

00:07:03,215 --> 00:07:04,842

I know, but--

00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:06,385

Ugly Bob, your face looks

like somebody tried

00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:08,387

to put out a forest fire

with a screwdriver.

00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:10,097

I can't help

how I look.

00:07:10,222 --> 00:07:12,349

Besides, it's not what's

on the outside that matters,

00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:13,350

it's what's

on the inside.

00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:14,351

No, it isn't.

00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:15,811

( laughing )

00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,229

Want to see what's on

the inside of me?

00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:18,230

( farting )

00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:19,481

( laughing )

00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,650

Wait, wait,

I've got an idea!

00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,610

Why don't you put this

paper bag over your head,

Ugly Bob?

00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,237

Yes, if people

can't see your face,

00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:27,698

they won't know how

wretchedly ugly you are.

00:07:27,823 --> 00:07:29,283

Really?

Hey, thanks, you guys.

00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:30,951

Maybe now I can

score with chicks.

00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:32,619

Sure you can,

Ugly Bob.

00:07:32,744 --> 00:07:34,204

If they can't see how

horribly disfigured you are,

00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:35,622

they'll want to

sleep with you.

00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:36,790

Thanks,

you guys.

00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:41,879

Hello, Barky,

hello, Purry.

00:07:42,004 --> 00:07:42,880

Bark, bark!

00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:44,882

Prrr, prrr.

00:07:45,007 --> 00:07:46,425

Say, Terrance, I was just about

to make some kroff dinner.

00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:48,051

Would you

like some?

00:07:48,177 --> 00:07:49,470

You know I never turn down

kroff dinner, Phillip.

00:07:49,595 --> 00:07:50,471

( farting )

00:07:50,596 --> 00:07:51,889

( laughing )

00:07:52,014 --> 00:07:53,390

I'm going to put on

a pirate costume.

00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:54,641

( doorbell )

00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:56,727

Special delivery

for Terrance.

00:07:56,852 --> 00:07:58,103

I'll take that.

00:07:58,228 --> 00:08:00,230

Sign here

and here and here,

00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:02,274

and here

and here.

00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:04,276

And here.

00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:05,319

Oh, Terrance!

00:08:05,444 --> 00:08:06,987

You got a letter!

00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:08,614

Shiver me timbers,

Phillip.

00:08:08,739 --> 00:08:10,157

At this rate I'll never get

to my kroff dinner.

00:08:10,282 --> 00:08:11,742

Oh my God!

00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:13,243

What is it, Terrance?

Did you fart?

00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:14,536

No, it's Sally.

00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,205

She's being held

captive in Iran.

00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:17,623

Not Sally! Dear God,

no, Terrance.

00:08:17,748 --> 00:08:20,042

Why Sally?

God, why?

00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,293

Say, Terrance,

who's Sally?

00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:22,961

My daughter.

00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:24,546

I never knew

you had a daughter, Terrance.

00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:26,173

Oh, yes.

Didn't I mention that, me hearties?

00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:27,966

No, you never did,

Terrance.

00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:31,345

Oh, well, it all began

15 years ago.

00:08:34,473 --> 00:08:36,767

My God, what a fascinating

story, Terrance,

00:08:36,892 --> 00:08:38,185

especially the part

about Celine Dion.

00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:39,937

Yes, indeed.

00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:41,355

But now my little Sally

is being held captive in Iran

00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:42,856

and I will have to

go and find her!

00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:44,233

And I will go

with you, Terrance.

00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:45,609

You are such

a good friend, Phillip.

00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,444

Well, you know

what they say.

00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:49,404

"A friend in need is a friend

with kroff dinner."

00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:50,822

Avast there, mateys.

00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:55,744

( doorbell )

00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,454

Hello,

Celine Dion.

00:08:57,579 --> 00:08:59,623

Terrance, this is

quite a surprise.

00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:00,666

You're

looking well.

00:09:00,791 --> 00:09:02,042

And you.

00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:03,961

Celine, where is

our daughter, Sally?

00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:06,088

She's in the Middle East

studying anthropology, why?

00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:07,881

Wrong!

00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:10,467

She's been taken hostage

and is now being held prisoner.

00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:12,052

What?

00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:13,303

Phillip and I are

going to Iran to find her,

00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:14,888

but we may

never return.

00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:17,224

Oh, Terrance,

what happened to us?

00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:19,351

We just grew apart,

Celine Dion.

00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,228

Please bring our daughter

home safe, Terrance.

00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:22,229

( farting )

00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:23,480

( laughing )

00:09:26,942 --> 00:09:27,818

Hello,

Ugly Bob.

00:09:27,943 --> 00:09:29,278

Hi, guys.

00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:30,529

How's the paper bag

working out?

00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:31,822

People seem

to really like it.

00:09:31,947 --> 00:09:32,823

I even have

a date this Friday.

00:09:32,948 --> 00:09:34,449

Terrific!

00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:36,034

We need two tickets

for Tehran, please.

00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:37,536

Iran is dangerous.

You guys shouldn't go there.

00:09:37,661 --> 00:09:39,288

Damn it, man!

Danger or no,

00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:40,872

I'm going to help my friend

find his daughter!

00:09:40,998 --> 00:09:42,499

( laughing )

00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:43,709

All right then, there's

a flight leaving today.

00:09:43,834 --> 00:09:45,419

Oh, good.

00:09:45,544 --> 00:09:47,629

Well, I certainly am going

to miss Canada, Terrance.

00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,131

Indeed, Phillip.

00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,174

Terrance,

if I die whilst in Iran,

00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:52,801

please bring my body

back to Canada

00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,053

and bury me in a box

with a side of kroff dinner.

00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:56,263

Same here,

Phillip.

00:09:56,388 --> 00:09:59,850

♪ O Canada ♪

00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:04,146

♪ Our home

and native land ♪

00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:08,317

♪ True patriot love ♪

00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:12,654

♪ In all

thy sons command ♪

00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:16,325

♪ With glowing hearts

we see thee rise ♪

00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:20,120

♪ The true north

strong and free ♪

00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:24,166

♪ From far and wide,

O Canada ♪

00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:28,253

♪ We stand on guard

for thee ♪

00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:32,299

♪ God keep our land... ♪

00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:35,594

Scott to Red Dragon.

Come in, Red Dragon.

00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:37,012

Go ahead, Scott.

This is Red Dragon.

00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,639

The plan is

working perfectly.

00:10:38,764 --> 00:10:39,723

Terrance and Phillip

have taken the bait.

00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:41,433

Excellent.

00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:42,809

My buddies and I are ready

to come to Canada.

00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:44,561

Has everything

been arranged?

00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:46,355

Yes, everything's proceeding

according to plan.

00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,148

Now, you promised that when

Terrance and Phillip arrive

00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:49,816

they'll be ripped into pieces

and shot several times.

00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:51,401

Hey, relax, guy.

00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:53,236

I'm gonna keep

my side of the bargain.

00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:55,238

Roger, Red Dragon.

Scott out.

00:10:55,364 --> 00:10:57,532

I've got you now,

you fart-loving fart lovers.

00:11:02,037 --> 00:11:03,163

( farting )

00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:04,748

( laughing )

00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:06,792

( Phillip )

I got ya!

00:11:07,459 --> 00:11:08,335

( farting )

00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:10,629

( laughing )

00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:18,011

Oh, Phillip.

00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:20,097

How will I ever find my fugitive daughter

in this daunting place?

00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:21,264

We don't speak

the language.

00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:22,641

We are unwelcome

strangers,

00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:24,309

and we have no idea

where to begin.

00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:25,394

Oh, look,

there she is.

00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:26,395

Oh, good.

00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:27,396

Who? Where?

00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:28,772

I'm here, Sally.

00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:30,565

It's your father,

Terrance.

00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:31,942

I'm here to save you

from your smelly Iranian

captors.

00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:33,026

Papa.

00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,403

Say, she looks a lot more

00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:35,404

like Celine Dion than you,

Terrance.

00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:36,655

( farting )

00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,365

Oh, now I see

the resemblance!

00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:40,033

Well, enough of Iran,

let's get home.

00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:41,034

( farting )

00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:42,411

( laughing )

00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:47,332

Well, now that I have

my bastard daughter back,

00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,084

I feel like going

to Celine Dion's house

00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,044

and asking her

to marry me again.

00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:53,296

Oh, raspberries,

looks like I'm losing a friend.

00:11:53,422 --> 00:11:54,673

No, you're gaining

a pop vocalist.

00:11:54,798 --> 00:11:56,925

Oh my God!

What is this?

00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,387

Is this Canada?

00:12:00,512 --> 00:12:02,639

It seems

to have changed.

00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:03,932

This is madness!

00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:09,479

What's going on,

Phillip?

00:12:09,604 --> 00:12:10,939

How could Canada have changed

so much whilst we were gone?

00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,816

I don't know,

Terrance.

00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:14,693

And who is that smelly person

in all these pictures?

00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:16,153

I must take my bastard daughter

back to Celine Dion

00:12:16,278 --> 00:12:17,821

and see what

she has to say.

00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:24,745

Celine, I brought

our daughter Sally back

00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:26,496

and I want

to tell you that--

00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:28,123

Terrance, could you

come back a little later?

00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,458

Why?

00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:31,376

Uh... I'm just

a little busy right now.

00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:33,378

You've got a man over,

don't you, Celine Dion?

00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:34,379

Well, I--

00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:35,714

Hi, guys.

00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:37,215

Oh my God,

it's Ugly Bob!

00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:38,800

What the hell

are you doing here?

00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:40,177

I'm doing Celine Dion,

what's it look like?

00:12:40,302 --> 00:12:41,553

Oh, Celine Dion,

what have you done?

00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:42,888

I was going to

make us a family again

00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:44,639

but now you've

slept with Ugly Bob.

00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:46,308

What do you mean? Why are you

calling him "Ugly Bob"?

00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,310

Because that's his name,

you stupid bitch.

00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,520

You told me your name

was "Handsome Bob"!

00:12:50,645 --> 00:12:52,189

Look at him,

Celine Dion.

00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,399

( screaming )

00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:56,026

Behold his

horrible face.

00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:58,111

Oh my God,

he's hopelessly ugly,

00:12:58,236 --> 00:12:59,780

and I am pregnant

with his child!

00:12:59,905 --> 00:13:01,072

What?

No...!

00:13:01,198 --> 00:13:03,408

I'm going to have

a freak baby!

00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:05,368

Oh,

the humanity!

00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:09,414

Hey, Saddam,

00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:10,540

you helped me get rid of

Terrance and Phillip

00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:12,751

and I appreciate that,

00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:14,252

but why are framed pictures of you going up

all over Canada?

00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:15,712

Huh?

Oh, that?

00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,672

Don't worry, guy,

you just need a rest.

00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:19,257

No, I don't

need a rest.

00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:20,258

I want to know what

this is all about.

00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:21,885

Hey, relax, fella.

00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:23,261

I'm just making it so

that Terrance and Phillip

00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:24,554

can never come back

to Canada again.

00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:25,931

I just need

a couple of things

00:13:26,056 --> 00:13:27,307

and then I'm gonna

head back to Iran.

00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:28,850

I thought you were

from Iraq.

00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:29,976

Iran, Iraq,

what the hell's the difference?

00:13:30,101 --> 00:13:31,102

Relax, guy.

00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:34,981

( farting )

00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:36,525

( laughing )

00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:38,318

Phillip, I'm convinced

that something

00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:39,903

very, very not good

is happening to Canada.

00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:42,155

Yes, I agree

whole-fartedly.

00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:43,657

( laughing )

00:13:43,782 --> 00:13:44,991

Hey, what the hell

are you guys doing here?

00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:46,451

Oh, hello, Scott.

00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:48,453

You're not supposed

to be here.

00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:49,955

You're supposed to be in Iran

looking for your kidnapped--

00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,832

I mean,

how are you guys today?

00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:53,208

Wait, what were

you saying?

00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,334

Nothing, why?

00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:55,335

Hey, Scott,

guess what?

00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:56,336

What?

00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:58,338

( farting )

00:13:58,463 --> 00:14:00,715

I hate you more than ever,

Terrance and Phillip!

00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:02,717

I absolutely

abhor you both!

00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,262

What are

you doing, Scott?

00:14:05,387 --> 00:14:06,263

I'm wishing cancer

upon you.

00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:08,265

Cancer?

00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:10,308

That's right, I'm trying to

give you cancer with my mind.

00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:11,810

Ahh! Stop that!

00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:13,562

Hey, don't

give me cancer.

00:14:18,567 --> 00:14:21,194

Mr. Hussein, the U.S.

government is becoming worried.

00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:22,779

Worried?

About what?

00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:24,114

Take a load off,

relax.

00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:26,032

You seem to be

taking over Canada.

00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:27,868

"Taking over Canada,"

me?

00:14:27,993 --> 00:14:30,954

Hey, you need a rest, fella.

I'm not hiding any bombs.

00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:32,831

We didn't say

anything about bombs.

00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:34,875

Oh, you didn't?

Hey, relax.

00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,209

We're giving you

just three years

00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:37,878

to clear your forces

out of Canada.

00:14:38,003 --> 00:14:39,713

After that we're gonna

bomb all of Iran.

00:14:39,838 --> 00:14:41,214

I'm from Iraq.

00:14:41,339 --> 00:14:43,717

Iran, Iraq,

what's the difference?

00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:45,468

Ugh, I hate

Americans.

00:14:45,594 --> 00:14:46,720

Please let me

kill them.

00:14:46,845 --> 00:14:48,430

No, no, you need

to relax, guy.

00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,348

Remember the plan.

First we take over Canada,

00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:52,601

then we'll have the best of

the female pop vocalists.

00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:54,227

After that,

we'll take over the U.S.,

00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:56,354

then Europe, then China,

then Newfoundland,

00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:57,522

then the world!

00:14:57,647 --> 00:14:58,523

( laughing )

00:14:58,648 --> 00:14:59,608

What's so funny?

00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:01,401

Nothing, relax, buddy.

00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:02,944

Saddam, Terrance and Phillip

are back in Canada.

00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:04,571

Oh, really?

00:15:04,696 --> 00:15:06,072

You promised me

they'd be gone for good.

00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:07,073

That was your

part of the bargain.

00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:08,533

I changed my mind.

00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:10,493

Pray that I don't

change it any further.

00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:13,705

This deal's getting

worse all the time.

00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,668

Hey, Terrance, let's watch

American television.

00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:20,503

Yeah, we can get

satellite feed from the U.S.

00:15:20,629 --> 00:15:22,839

And watch all

the stupid TV shows.

00:15:22,964 --> 00:15:24,799

Oh, look,

here's a show.

00:15:24,925 --> 00:15:26,176

[Bleep] you!

00:15:27,052 --> 00:15:28,303

Stupid.

00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:29,930

God damn,

their TV shows are lame.

00:15:30,055 --> 00:15:31,890

The father of

Eric Cartman is...

00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:33,433

( laughing )

00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:35,018

Look at those

silly American heads.

00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:36,853

They look

like groundhogs.

00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:39,397

And in other news, it appears

that Saddam Hussein

00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:41,441

has finally signed an agreement

to let the U.S.

00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:43,735

inspect his

military operations.

00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,779

When asked if he would uphold

his side of the agreement,

00:15:45,904 --> 00:15:48,406

Hussein replied, quote,

"Hey, relax, fella,

00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:49,783

you need

a rest, guy."

00:15:49,908 --> 00:15:51,034

Hey, Phillip,

00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:52,410

isn't that

the smelly gentlemen

00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:53,662

we've seen in pictures

all over town?

00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:54,871

Yes, it is,

Terrance.

00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:56,414

According to

that newsy,

00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:58,083

he's some kind of

Turkish dictator.

00:15:58,208 --> 00:15:59,751

Well, we can't just sit here

and eat kroff dinner

00:15:59,876 --> 00:16:01,503

and let Canada

be overrun by the Turks.

00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:02,504

( phone )

00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,422

( laughing )

00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:06,341

That fart sounded like

a ringing phone, Terrance.

00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:07,801

It sure did,

Phillip.

00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:09,177

( phone )

00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:12,180

Oh, wait,

that is the phone.

00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:13,223

Hello?

00:16:13,348 --> 00:16:14,307

Terrance, this is Scott.

00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:16,184

Oh, hey...

It's Scott.

00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:17,560

Tell him he's

a smelly bastard.

00:16:17,686 --> 00:16:18,770

Phillip says

hello, Scott.

00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:20,188

Just shut up

and listen.

00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,648

You've unleashed

a monster onto Canada.

00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:23,274

And only you

can get rid of him,

00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,068

even though I hate you

and I wish you had cancer.

00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:26,069

You are such

a dick, Scott.

00:16:26,194 --> 00:16:27,070

You're a dick.

00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:28,071

You're a dick.

00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:29,072

You're a dick.

00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:30,073

You're a dick.

00:16:30,198 --> 00:16:31,074

You're a dick.

00:16:31,199 --> 00:16:32,283

You're a dick.

00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:34,577

- You're a dick.

- You're a dick.

00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:36,329

The two of you are the most

annoying dicks in Canada.

00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:38,540

You give other Canadians

a bad name, and if I had my--

00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:40,083

I'm sorry, Scott,

could you hold on a minute?

00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:41,084

Sure.

00:16:41,209 --> 00:16:42,127

( farting )

00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:43,336

( laughing )

00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:44,963

How do you

like that, Scott?

00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:46,840

You son of a bitch,

I'll get you if it's the last--

00:16:46,965 --> 00:16:49,050

Oh, wait, I have another call,

Scott, can you hang on?

00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:50,051

Sure.

00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:51,219

( farting )

00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:52,220

Oh, that was

Sir Smelly.

00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:53,221

He says hello.

00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,514

God damn it!

00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:55,515

Oh, wait a second,

Scott.

00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:56,516

Sure. I mean, no!

00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:57,851

You listen to me.

00:16:57,976 --> 00:16:59,477

If you want

to save Canada

00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:00,812

you'll meet me at

Karl's Kroff Dinner Restaurant

00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:02,147

in half an hour.

00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:06,234

Oh, Ugly Bob,

I'm so confused.

00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:09,779

I love your personality,

but you are so wretchedly ugly.

00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:11,197

Maybe the baby will have

your face instead of mine.

00:17:11,322 --> 00:17:12,532

We can

only hope.

00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:14,034

I suppose

we'll be okay

00:17:14,159 --> 00:17:16,786

as long as you keep

that bag on your head.

00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:18,163

What's this?

00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:19,414

Hey there,

my name's Saddam.

00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,332

I'm a big fan

of Polo.

00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:23,418

I've been searching a long time

for you, Celine Dion.

00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:24,836

Oh, no you don't,

she's my bitch.

00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:25,628

Hey, who are you?

00:17:25,754 --> 00:17:27,547

I'm Bob, but

my friends call me "Ugly Bob"

00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:29,299

because I have the features

of a deformed burn victim.

00:17:29,424 --> 00:17:31,342

Really? I thought all Canadians

looked alike.

00:17:31,468 --> 00:17:32,594

Let me see.

00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:34,179

( screaming )

00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:36,181

Well,

I'm sorry, guy.

00:17:36,306 --> 00:17:37,849

You know, I could cure

that face of yours.

00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:38,433

You could?

00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,101

Sure. I just need a favor.

00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:42,062

There's a Canadian

football game tomorrow.

00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:43,813

The Ottawa Roughriders against

the Vancouver Roughriders.

00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:45,523

It's at that game

that I will officially turn

00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:47,025

the Canadian flag

over to my Iranian one.

00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:48,735

What?

Why?

00:17:48,860 --> 00:17:50,195

Hey, don't worry about that,

take a load off.

00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:51,571

Don't think about it,

look over here.

00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:53,364

All I need

is for Celine Dion

00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:55,533

to sing our Iranian

national anthem at the game

00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,368

to finalize my hostile takeover of Canada.

What do you say?

00:17:57,494 --> 00:18:00,080

Did you say hostile

takeover of Canada?

00:18:00,205 --> 00:18:01,956

No, no, relax there,

fella.

00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,172

Well, Scott said to meet him

here but he's not showing up.

00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:10,173

( farting )

00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:11,466

( laughing )

00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:12,967

Well, while we're waiting,

00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:14,427

why don't we search

for treasure?

00:18:14,552 --> 00:18:16,387

Oh, good idea,

let's search for treasure.

00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:20,767

What are you idiots doing?

00:18:20,892 --> 00:18:22,185

We're looking for treasure.

00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:23,770

Is that some kind

of metaphor

00:18:23,895 --> 00:18:25,438

for a kind of search

that can't be described?

00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:27,899

No, we're searching

for treasure.

00:18:28,024 --> 00:18:29,317

Listen,

I have an inside scoop.

00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,069

There's an

Iraqi dictator

00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:32,821

who is quietly and slowly

taking over Canada.

00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:33,947

Yes, you mean

Saddam Smelly.

00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:35,573

We saw him

on the telly.

00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:36,699

Well, what are you two

gonna do about it?

00:18:36,825 --> 00:18:38,159

What do you mean?

00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:39,994

It's your fault

that he's here.

00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,454

You brought the Iraqis

back with you on your plane

00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:42,956

when you rescued

your kidnapped daughter.

00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:44,874

(Gasping )

You mean we are to blame?

00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:47,377

That's right, and now

you must make amends.

00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:49,671

Tomorrow, Saddam will try to

finalize his takeover of Canada

00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:51,673

at the Roughriders/Roughriders

football game.

00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:53,007

It will be your only shot

at wiping them all out.

00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:54,008

Here, take this.

00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:55,009

What is this?

00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:56,636

It's a bomb.

00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:58,555

You must strap it to

yourselves, go to the game,

00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,640

and sacrifice your lives

to take out Saddam's minions.

00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:02,100

That sounds scary.

00:19:02,225 --> 00:19:03,685

Well, you must

do it for Canada.

00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,478

For Canada,

Terrance.

00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:07,188

For Canada,

Phillip.

00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:09,315

Yes, Terrance and Phillip.

00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:10,900

And when

the dust is settled

00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:12,527

Canada will be rid of

both the Iraqis

00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,571

and your immature

fart humor.

00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:21,035

Well, Phillip, I'm very sad

that we have to die for Canada.

00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:22,704

Yes.

00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,330

This bomb will blow us

both to smithereens.

00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:25,915

But we really

have no choice.

00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,458

Only our deaths

can bring Canada life.

00:19:27,584 --> 00:19:28,459

( farting )

00:19:28,585 --> 00:19:29,460

( laughing )

00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:30,753

That's funny.

00:19:30,879 --> 00:19:32,088

Wait a minute,

Terrance,

00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:33,089

that fart

gives me pause.

00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:34,465

Why is that?

00:19:34,591 --> 00:19:36,050

That smelly

Saddam Hussein,

00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:37,594

he uses German chemical

warfare, does he not?

00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:39,304

Yes, apparently

he does.

00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:40,805

Terrance,

get the phone book.

00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:42,557

We must call every

Canadian we can.

00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,559

Oh, Phillip, it sounds like

you have an idea.

00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,144

I do,

Terrance.

00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:47,145

( dialing )

00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:48,146

( farting )

00:19:48,271 --> 00:19:49,355

( laughing )

00:19:52,609 --> 00:19:54,569

And the Roughriders are

really giving the Roughriders

00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,321

a run for their money.

00:19:56,446 --> 00:19:58,031

All else aside, I must say

that the Roughriders

00:19:58,156 --> 00:20:00,116

are simply outmatched

by these Roughriders.

00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:03,244

( whistle )

00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:04,996

And that's going

to take us to halftime.

00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:06,414

Be sure to stick around

for the halftime show,

00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,249

Saddam and

the Electric Iraqis,

00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:10,710

in a salute

to hostile takeovers.

00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:12,003

( band playing )

00:20:15,131 --> 00:20:17,050

Well, I guess

it's time, old friend.

00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:19,010

Yes, prepare

the alert.

00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:22,305

Hello to my

Canadian friends.

00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:24,390

Everybody, relax,

take a rest,

put your feet up.

00:20:24,515 --> 00:20:26,768

Those dogs

are barking.

00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:28,686

You may have noticed some

changes to your country.

00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:30,939

Don't worry about that.

The changes will continue.

00:20:31,064 --> 00:20:32,815

I'm here to announce

once and for all

00:20:32,941 --> 00:20:35,068

that Canada will now

be known as New Baghdad.

00:20:35,193 --> 00:20:36,569

( exclaiming )

00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:41,366

( gasping )

00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:43,201

You will bow down to me

as your ruler.

00:20:43,326 --> 00:20:45,203

You will obey my laws

or you will be killed.

00:20:45,328 --> 00:20:46,829

( laughing )

00:20:46,955 --> 00:20:48,790

And now you will sing

the Iraqi national anthem

00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:50,959

or you will be

stabbed in the head.

00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:52,669

(Arabic )

00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:55,213

Now, Phillip?

00:20:55,338 --> 00:20:56,506

Now, Terrance.

00:20:56,631 --> 00:20:58,508

( blowing bugle )

00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:03,888

Hey, what the hell

is this?

00:21:04,013 --> 00:21:05,348

(Arabic )

00:21:06,557 --> 00:21:08,184

( everyone farting )

00:21:11,145 --> 00:21:13,606

( screaming )

00:21:13,731 --> 00:21:15,108

They're using

chemical warfare.

00:21:15,233 --> 00:21:16,901

How could they?

00:21:19,821 --> 00:21:21,155

( cheering )

00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:28,871

We did it,

Phillip.

00:21:28,997 --> 00:21:30,331

We destroyed

the Turks!

00:21:30,456 --> 00:21:32,250

Oh, glorious day.

00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:43,386

Terrance, Terrance,

you've saved Canada.

00:21:43,511 --> 00:21:44,929

Oh, it was all

Phillip's idea.

00:21:45,054 --> 00:21:46,264

God bless you,

Phillip.

00:21:46,389 --> 00:21:47,473

Don't touch me,

Ugly Bob.

00:21:47,598 --> 00:21:48,808

Hey, what the hell

happened?

00:21:48,933 --> 00:21:50,226

You were supposed

to be blown up!

00:21:50,351 --> 00:21:51,894

We came up with

a better plan.

00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:53,354

You see, Scott,

after all your criticism,

00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:55,398

it was farting

that saved Canada.

00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:57,191

Oh, that is

so juvenile.

00:21:57,317 --> 00:21:58,901

Hey, Scott,

do you like apples?

00:21:59,027 --> 00:21:59,902

Of course.

00:22:00,028 --> 00:22:01,446

( farting )

00:22:01,571 --> 00:22:02,822

How do you like

them apples?

00:22:02,947 --> 00:22:05,533

I hate you,

Terrance and Phillip!

00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:07,994

Oh, Celine Dion.

00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:09,579

You never finished

that national anthem.

00:22:09,704 --> 00:22:11,456

You're right, Terrance,

you're right.

00:22:12,373 --> 00:22:16,711

♪ O Canada,

our home and native land ♪

00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:20,423

♪ True patriot love ♪

00:22:20,548 --> 00:22:24,635

♪ In all

thy sons command ♪

00:22:24,761 --> 00:22:28,348

♪ With glowing hearts

we see thee rise ♪

00:22:28,473 --> 00:22:31,934

♪ The true north

strong and free ♪

00:22:32,060 --> 00:22:36,022

♪ From far and wide,

O Canada ♪

00:22:36,147 --> 00:22:39,942

♪ We stand

on guard for thee ♪

00:22:40,068 --> 00:22:44,655

♪ God,

keep our land ♪

00:22:44,781 --> 00:22:48,409

♪ Glorious and free ♪

00:22:48,534 --> 00:22:52,163

♪ O Canada ♪

00:22:52,288 --> 00:22:56,959

♪ We stand

on guard for thee ♪

00:22:57,085 --> 00:23:00,797

♪ O Canada ♪

00:23:00,922 --> 00:23:07,387

♪ We stand on

guard for thee ♪

00:23:07,512 --> 00:23:08,429

( farting )

00:23:08,554 --> 00:23:10,181

( laughing )

00:23:15,269 --> 00:23:17,563

Who is Eric Cartman's

father?

00:23:17,688 --> 00:23:20,066

Find out on an all-new

"South Park"

00:23:20,191 --> 00:23:21,859

in just a few weeks.