Загрузка
00:00
/
23:01
Меха-Стрейзанд
Mecha-Streisand
Сезон: 01Серия: 12
Описание
Во время экскурсии на место раскопок друзья находят артефакт, который стремится заполучить Барбра Стрейзанд, после чего превращается в гигантского монстра, грозя разрушить город.
Субтитры
- 00:00:02,378 --> 00:00:03,629 Hold on, hold on.
- 00:00:07,299 --> 00:00:08,509 Did you like that episode, South Park-eteers?
- 00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:10,469 You bet!
- 00:00:10,594 --> 00:00:11,929 Well, great, then you're gonna love this next episode.
- 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,389 It's our favorite episode.
- 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:14,974 It's entitled "Mecha-Streisand."
- 00:00:15,099 --> 00:00:17,351 In it, we follow the real-life exploits
- 00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:18,811 of singer Barbra Streisand
- 00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:20,688 as she tries to take over the world.
- 00:00:20,813 --> 00:00:22,940 You know, South Park-eteers, a lot of our fans ask us,
- 00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:25,109 "Do you really hate the celebrities you make fun of
- 00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:26,610 in 'South Park'?"
- 00:00:26,736 --> 00:00:28,446 And the answer is, of course not.
- 00:00:28,571 --> 00:00:30,072 It's all just in good fun.
- 00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:32,241 Except when it comes to Barbra Streisand.
- 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:33,451 We hate her.
- 00:00:33,576 --> 00:00:34,910 And in fact,
- 00:00:35,036 --> 00:00:36,412 we're pretending the Indian Companion
- 00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:37,663 is Barbra Streisand right now.
- 00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:39,123 That's why we're kicking her.
- 00:00:39,248 --> 00:00:41,125 Shut up, Barbra Streisand.
- 00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:42,501 Hooray!
- 00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:43,961 Well, time to sit back, relax,
- 00:00:44,086 --> 00:00:45,171 and let's have a rootin'-tootin',
- 00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:46,422 yippee-ti-yi-yo
- 00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,257 grandma-humpin' time with
- 00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:49,425 "Mecha-Streisand."
- 00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:50,551 Yee-haw!
- 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:53,971 Hooray!
- 00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:05,483 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:01:05,608 --> 00:01:07,485 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:01:07,610 --> 00:01:09,195 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,738 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:01:10,863 --> 00:01:12,198 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
- 00:01:12,323 --> 00:01:14,033 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:15,743 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,244 ♪ People spouting: "Howdy neighbor." ♪
- 00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:18,746 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
- 00:01:18,871 --> 00:01:20,498 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:01:23,793 --> 00:01:25,169 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:26,962 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:30,883 And so, these ancient arrowheads are buried
- 00:01:31,008 --> 00:01:32,760 deep down in the Earth's crust!
- 00:01:32,885 --> 00:01:34,470 We dig 'em up, polish 'em off
- 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:37,056 and find over twelve new arrowheads every month!
- 00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:39,642 Booorrrring.
- 00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:42,686 Eric, keep quiet! I'm trying to sleep!
- 00:01:42,812 --> 00:01:46,398 Now, can anybody tell me who left these arrowheads here?
- 00:01:46,524 --> 00:01:48,400 Isn't that your job?
- 00:01:48,526 --> 00:01:50,820 Well, yes, but I want to see if you're learning anything.
- 00:01:50,945 --> 00:01:53,030 Oh. - Okay, I tell you what.
- 00:01:53,155 --> 00:01:55,574 Why don't we all grab our little anthropology pickaxes
- 00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:57,368 that were handed out
- 00:01:57,493 --> 00:01:59,537 and we'll dig for our very own Indian Arrowheads!
- 00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:05,167 ♪ Day is never finished ♪
- 00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,086 ♪ Massa got me working ♪
- 00:02:07,211 --> 00:02:09,672 ♪ Someday massa set me free ♪
- 00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,966 Dude, shut up, Cartman! - Ooh, ooh!
- 00:02:12,091 --> 00:02:13,217 I think I found one!
- 00:02:13,342 --> 00:02:14,927 No, I found it.
- 00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:16,929 Oh, I do believe I found it first.
- 00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:18,973 No, I did, Pip! - Oh, dear.
- 00:02:19,098 --> 00:02:20,599 Well, guess we'll have to Roshambo for it.
- 00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,518 What do you mean?
- 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:25,396 Well, first I kick you in the nuts as hard as I can.
- 00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:27,565 Then you kick me in the nuts as hard as you can.
- 00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:29,775 And we keep going back and forth until somebody falls.
- 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,402 Last one standing gets the arrowhead.
- 00:02:31,527 --> 00:02:34,572 Oh, my. Well, I suppose if I must...
- 00:02:34,697 --> 00:02:36,323 Okay, ready? I'll go first.
- 00:02:41,412 --> 00:02:43,122 Well, I guess you win.
- 00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:44,540 I don't care, you can have the stupid arrowhead.
- 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,333 I don't want it.
- 00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:49,920 ♪ Day is never finished ♪
- 00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:52,173 ♪ Massa got me working ♪
- 00:02:52,298 --> 00:02:54,758 Oh, look, I found another one.
- 00:02:56,010 --> 00:02:58,345 Aw, this is just a stupid triangle!
- 00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:01,223 Whoa, check it out, dude.
- 00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:02,808 It's got little drawings on it.
- 00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,476 What is it? - I don't know.
- 00:03:04,602 --> 00:03:06,145 Whoa!
- 00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:08,647 That was cool! - Hey, give me that back!
- 00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:10,649 You threw it away, Cartman. It's mine now.
- 00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:13,319 We'll Roshambo for it. - No way, fatty. It's mine.
- 00:03:13,444 --> 00:03:14,862 Anthropologist!
- 00:03:14,987 --> 00:03:16,155 How's it going, boys?
- 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:17,948 I found a magic triangle
- 00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:19,450 and this greedy son of a bitch took it from me!
- 00:03:19,575 --> 00:03:20,784 You threw it away, fatso!
- 00:03:20,910 --> 00:03:22,036 Let me see that.
- 00:03:22,161 --> 00:03:23,996 Why, this is Anastasi writing!
- 00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:26,332 My God, this must be thousands of years old!
- 00:03:26,457 --> 00:03:28,584 Come on, let me kick you in the nuts for it!
- 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:32,254 And finally tonight, a young boy
- 00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:34,924 from South Park, Colorado found something very interesting
- 00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:36,550 during a field trip today.
- 00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:38,135 Here with a special report
- 00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:40,262 is a quadriplegic Swiss man on a pony.
- 00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:41,472 Thanks Tom. The little eight year old
- 00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:43,390 was very shocked indeed
- 00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:45,726 when he came across a very ancient triangular object.
- 00:03:45,851 --> 00:03:47,603 Well, I was just digging around, and I was all like,
- 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,688 "Dude, I found this triangle."
- 00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:51,565 And my friends were all like, "Dude," and I was all, "Dude."
- 00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:53,192 And I told him, I said, "Kyle,
- 00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:54,693 I will kick you in the nuts."
- 00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:56,237 But he didn't give it back to me.
- 00:03:56,362 --> 00:03:57,696 So I kicked him square in the nuts...
- 00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,531 And he cried like Nancy Kerrigan.
- 00:03:59,657 --> 00:04:01,742 You liar, Cartman! - Screw you, triangle thief!
- 00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:04,203 And so, the little boy will take his discovery home
- 00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:05,871 and perhaps donate it to science...
- 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,331 A little later.
- 00:04:07,456 --> 00:04:08,624 Back to you, Dave. - Thanks, Tom.
- 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,292 Those are some cute, cute kids.
- 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:11,919 Except for that last one. He's a little tubby.
- 00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:13,420 <i>Hey!</i>
- 00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:15,422 What are you gonna do with it, dude?
- 00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:17,174 I'm gonna put it in my room, where Cartman can't find it.
- 00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:19,093 Oh I'll find it, don't worry!
- 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:23,222 Goddammit! Gimme my triangle, Kyle, seriously!
- 00:04:23,347 --> 00:04:24,682 You did throw it away, Cartman.
- 00:04:24,807 --> 00:04:26,141 I was just setting it aside.
- 00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:28,227 Well, you might as well let it go.
- 00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:30,521 Never! I'll get that triangle if it's the last thing I do!
- 00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:33,857 ♪ Gimme a little bit of that pepper ♪
- 00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:35,526 ♪ Gimme a little bit of that salt ♪
- 00:04:35,651 --> 00:04:36,986 ♪ Put it in the skillet and cook it ♪
- 00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:38,737 Excuse me, sir. - Can I help--hey.
- 00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:41,031 You're that movie critic guy on TV.
- 00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:43,659 Leonard Maltin, yes. - Well I'll be a teenage girl
- 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,828 backstage at an Aerosmith concert.
- 00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:48,247 Leonard Maltin in my cafeteria!
- 00:04:48,372 --> 00:04:50,082 I'm Chef.
- 00:04:50,207 --> 00:04:51,834 I know who you are. You must listen to me, Chef.
- 00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:53,377 We have precious little time.
- 00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,504 Have you seen Barbra Streisand recently?
- 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,172 Barbra Streisand? You mean, like,
- 00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:58,716 THE Barbra Streisand?
- 00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:00,175 Have you seen her?! - No.
- 00:05:00,301 --> 00:05:01,677 Not since "Yentl."
- 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,387 Thank God. Then I'm not too late.
- 00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:04,972 Too late for what?
- 00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:06,682 Chef, it is of the upmost importance
- 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,017 that you tell me where those little boys
- 00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:09,476 from the news report on TV are.
- 00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:11,478 Why do you care?
- 00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:14,773 I have a button we can use for his nose.
- 00:05:17,276 --> 00:05:18,736 What would you use a marble sack for?
- 00:05:18,861 --> 00:05:20,112 Be careful where you put that carrot.
- 00:05:20,237 --> 00:05:21,322 Kyle might steal it.
- 00:05:21,447 --> 00:05:23,407 I didn't steal anything.
- 00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:25,701 Stan, would you tell Kyle that I'm not speaking with him?
- 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,119 Good!
- 00:05:27,244 --> 00:05:29,663 What's that noise?
- 00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:31,081 Whoa!
- 00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:32,583 Aah! Aliens!
- 00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:42,843 Who is the boy I saw on the news report tonight?
- 00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:46,472 Hello there, little boy. Do you know who I am?
- 00:05:46,597 --> 00:05:47,639 No.
- 00:05:47,765 --> 00:05:49,475 Oh, I bet you do.
- 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:53,145 ♪ I'm going... ♪ - Aah! Stop that!
- 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:56,565 ♪ Where there's lucky clovers in the sun... ♪
- 00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:57,858 Yeah, that sucks, dude.
- 00:05:57,983 --> 00:05:59,902 I'm Barbra Streisand!
- 00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:01,820 So? - So...
- 00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:06,241 So I'm a very famous and very important individual.
- 00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:07,743 Like John Elway important?
- 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,411 What?! - Do you know John Elway?
- 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,121 No.
- 00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:12,498 Oh, so you're really famous and important
- 00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:13,665 but you don't know John Elway.
- 00:06:13,791 --> 00:06:15,793 Look, little boy,
- 00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:18,629 I understand that you found a neat little triangle near here.
- 00:06:18,754 --> 00:06:19,922 You know what I'm talking about?
- 00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:21,256 Yeah...
- 00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:22,800 No, I found it. He stole it.
- 00:06:22,925 --> 00:06:24,635 You threw it away, Cartman!
- 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:26,678 I'm not talking to him, because he's a dirty thief.
- 00:06:26,804 --> 00:06:29,223 Little boy, does the triangle have a symbol of two snakes
- 00:06:29,348 --> 00:06:30,349 joined at the middle?
- 00:06:30,474 --> 00:06:31,934 Yeah, how'd you know?
- 00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:34,520 Okay, now this is very important.
- 00:06:34,645 --> 00:06:37,481 Where is the Triangle of Zinthar now?
- 00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:38,941 Triangle of Zinthar?
- 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,651 Why do you want to know, lady?
- 00:06:40,776 --> 00:06:42,152 I'm not talking to you, you pissant little hick!
- 00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:43,529 Whoa, dude!
- 00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:45,114 Where is the Triangle, damn it?!
- 00:06:45,239 --> 00:06:46,657 Aaagh!
- 00:06:46,782 --> 00:06:48,867 What seems to be the problemo here?
- 00:06:48,992 --> 00:06:51,662 Problemo? There's no problemo, Officer.
- 00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:54,915 I was just introducing myself to these charming little boys.
- 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,000 Nu-uh! She was being a total bitch!
- 00:06:57,126 --> 00:06:59,461 Boys, shouldn't you be in school?
- 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,797 It's Saturday. - No excuses!
- 00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,715 Move along, you little troublemakers.
- 00:07:07,511 --> 00:07:10,472 Well?! - Well what?
- 00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:12,558 You know who I am, don't you?
- 00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,769 Well, you ain't Fiona Apple.
- 00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:18,147 And if you ain't Fiona Apple, I don't give a rat's ass
- 00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:19,481 Argh!
- 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,108 Hoo! What a bitch!
- 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,779 I guess he's not home, Leonard Maltin.
- 00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:27,948 Damn! Then we must look for them elsewhere.
- 00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:29,867 Now, come on, man! What is this all about?
- 00:07:29,992 --> 00:07:32,327 If Barbara Streisand saw the same news report I did,
- 00:07:32,453 --> 00:07:34,163 then those boys are in grave danger.
- 00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:35,539 If you were Barbra Streisand,
- 00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:37,458 where would you be right now?
- 00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:39,168 Hmm.
- 00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:42,754 No, no! I mean where would she be staying?
- 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:46,133 Oh, uh, well, I always heard that Mrs. Streisand
- 00:07:46,258 --> 00:07:47,968 had her own $4 million condominium
- 00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:49,219 up near the ski slope.
- 00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:50,721 Where? - I don't know.
- 00:07:50,846 --> 00:07:52,347 I-it was just a rumor.
- 00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:54,349 Damn it, man, where is your car?!
- 00:07:58,562 --> 00:08:00,022 He has it, Milo.
- 00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:01,523 That little bastard has the Triangle.
- 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,525 Are you sure? - I'm sure!
- 00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,611 He knew about the symbol of Krulock!
- 00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:07,154 Then why don't we go get it?
- 00:08:07,279 --> 00:08:08,947 A cop showed up. He's a clever one.
- 00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:10,616 I can't blow everything now that I'm this close.
- 00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:13,494 Everything must be handled very carefully.
- 00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:20,000 How many years has it been, Milo? 30? 40?
- 00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:23,921 For so long, I have waited to find the other triangle.
- 00:08:24,046 --> 00:08:26,131 And now I am so close.
- 00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:29,134 The dawn of Zinthar is close at hand!
- 00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:02,417 Cartman?
- 00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:04,211 You scared the crap out of me, Ike!
- 00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:05,420 What the hell are you doing?!
- 00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:07,005 I'm trying to get my tri--
- 00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:08,131 wait a minute, I'm not talking to you!
- 00:09:08,257 --> 00:09:09,633 Ike, will you tell Kyle
- 00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:11,176 that I was trying to get my triangle back?
- 00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:16,306 Well, Ike, you can tell Cartman that it's my triangle!
- 00:09:18,517 --> 00:09:20,852 Well you can tell Kyle he's a dirty goddamn son of a bitch!!
- 00:09:20,978 --> 00:09:23,605 All right, all right!
- 00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,315 If it means that much to you, take the stupid triangle!
- 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,067 Huh? - If it'll make you
- 00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:28,235 leave me alone, then just take the damn thing.
- 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:29,528 Here.
- 00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:31,530 There. Now get out of my house.
- 00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:33,615 And I hope you feel really, really good about yourself.
- 00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:37,119 Hell yeah, I do. I got the triangle.
- 00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:40,080 ♪ I got the triangle, I got the triangle ♪
- 00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:41,832 ♪ You don't, you don't ♪
- 00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:45,919 Are you sure Barbra Streisand has a condo up here?
- 00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,588 It was just a rumor.
- 00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:49,381 A lot of big celebrities have mountain condos.
- 00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:51,091 Then we've got to keep looking.
- 00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:52,634 All right, Leonard Maltin,
- 00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,052 this has gone far enough.
- 00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:55,679 I ain't driving another mile
- 00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:57,556 till you tell me what this is all about.
- 00:09:57,681 --> 00:09:59,600 Haven't you ever been curious about the insanity
- 00:09:59,725 --> 00:10:01,476 Barbra Streisand exhibits?
- 00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:04,605 Well, I always heard she was kind of a bitch, but--
- 00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:06,106 More than a bitch, Chef!
- 00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:07,107 She's a calculating, self-centered,
- 00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,942 egotistical bitch.
- 00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:10,902 She was born in a small town, her mother was a jackal,
- 00:10:11,028 --> 00:10:12,946 and her father was an insurance salesman.
- 00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:15,115 Ooh. Insurance salesman?
- 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,533 When she was five, she knew that she wanted
- 00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:17,743 to be a famous singer.
- 00:10:17,868 --> 00:10:19,411 But by the time she was six,
- 00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:20,829 her ambitions became to rule the universe.
- 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:21,997 She learned of an ancient diamond.
- 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,498 The diamond of Pantheos.
- 00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:25,584 Okay, you know what? Never mind.
- 00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:27,961 I don't need to know all this. Forget I asked.
- 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:29,630 Before she was seven, the keepers of Pantheos
- 00:10:29,755 --> 00:10:30,756 learned of this insane little girl's wish.
- 00:10:30,881 --> 00:10:32,466 The diamond was split up
- 00:10:32,591 --> 00:10:34,259 and buried at opposite ends of the world.
- 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:35,969 But then, during the shooting of "My Fair Lady,"
- 00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:38,013 Barbra Streisand found one of the triangles.
- 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,682 And the other triangle is the one that little Kyle has?
- 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,601 Yes, Mr. Chef. If Babs get ahold
- 00:10:42,726 --> 00:10:45,062 of that other triangle, she will fulfill her prophecy
- 00:10:45,187 --> 00:10:48,649 and become the most threatening thing ever known to mankind...
- 00:10:48,774 --> 00:10:50,150 Mecha-Streisand.
- 00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,818 Mecha-Streisand?
- 00:10:51,943 --> 00:10:54,029 Oh man, I don't know what the hell that means,
- 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,989 but it doesn't sound good.
- 00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:57,991 Man, the bus sure is late.
- 00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:00,661 Hmmm, I wonder what I should do with my triangle,
- 00:11:00,786 --> 00:11:02,871 now that it is my triangle.
- 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,248 Damn it, Cartman, I gave it to you so you would shut up.
- 00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:10,504 Oh, hello there, little boys.
- 00:11:10,629 --> 00:11:11,963 How are you today?
- 00:11:12,089 --> 00:11:13,882 Fine. - That is great.
- 00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,884 My name is Mrs. Jones.
- 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:19,012 And I am a very friendly, nice person.
- 00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:22,265 I hear that one of you found my triangle.
- 00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:23,475 <i>Your</i> triangle?
- 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,269 Yes. You see, that triangle
- 00:11:26,395 --> 00:11:28,855 is part of my kidney dialysis machine.
- 00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:30,691 I'm so glad you found it,
- 00:11:30,816 --> 00:11:33,735 because without it, I was sure to die within hours.
- 00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:35,529 Oh no, you don't! Finders keepers!
- 00:11:35,654 --> 00:11:37,322 But I'll die!
- 00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:38,865 Well, I guess we'll have to Roshambo for it.
- 00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:40,784 I'll kick you in the nuts as hard as I can,
- 00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,703 then you kick me square in the nuts as hard as you can.
- 00:11:42,828 --> 00:11:46,832 I want to give you a big cash reward for finding it.
- 00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:49,710 It's worth a lot of money to me.
- 00:11:49,835 --> 00:11:51,586 It is?
- 00:11:51,712 --> 00:11:53,463 Hey, no wonder that Barbara Streisand lady wanted it!
- 00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:56,383 Oh, . Who is that?
- 00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:58,260 Oh, just this really, really old lady
- 00:11:58,385 --> 00:11:59,970 who wishes she was still only 45.
- 00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:03,557 Yeah, and you should have seen her nose.
- 00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:05,225 It was big enough to land stealth bombers on.
- 00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,147 Yeah, and talk about a bitch. I haven't seen--
- 00:12:10,272 --> 00:12:11,523 Enough!
- 00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:13,358 Oh. Ha, ha.
- 00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:16,778 Anyway, if you'll come with me in my car,
- 00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:19,614 I'll take you up to my condo where I'll kill you--
- 00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:23,201 I mean, uh, give you money for the triangle.
- 00:12:23,326 --> 00:12:25,245 Sweet! I'm gonna be rich!
- 00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:26,955 Bet you wish you wouldn't have given me back that triangle
- 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,957 now, huh, Kyle? Dumbass.
- 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:31,042 Wait, isn't there some rule about not getting into cars
- 00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:32,586 with strangers?
- 00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:34,212 No, not when money's involved, stupid.
- 00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:38,633 And action.
- 00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:40,677 Rebecca, I'm a man.
- 00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:43,305 A man like any other with dreams and emotions.
- 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:46,141 And that's why I'll never put a foreign object up my ass.
- 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,642 Cut. Great. Print that.
- 00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:49,478 Excellent work, Sid. Take five, guys.
- 00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:51,062 Let's set up for the next shot.
- 00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:56,359 Hello. - Ho?!
- 00:12:56,485 --> 00:12:58,028 You must hurry.
- 00:12:58,153 --> 00:12:59,696 A young man has found the Triangle of Zinthar!
- 00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:01,615 Where?!
- 00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:03,700 A small, pissant, white-bread mountain town in Colorado
- 00:13:03,825 --> 00:13:04,951 called South Park.
- 00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:06,661 Excellent.
- 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:13,460 Soon, the Triangle of Zinthar will be mine,
- 00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:17,756 and I will be the biggest, most famous person ever!
- 00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:19,883 Let me go! Seriously!
- 00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:21,218 Yeah, let us go!
- 00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:23,094 You fools have no idea
- 00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:24,971 the powers that you are meddling with.
- 00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:29,601 I'll teach you to meddle with my triangle!
- 00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:32,145 It's not my triangle!
- 00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:33,814 It's Kyle's! - Hey!
- 00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:35,941 Don't try to pass it back on me, fat-ass!
- 00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:38,860 Screw you, hippie!
- 00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:41,571 Where is the Triangle of Zinthar?!
- 00:13:41,696 --> 00:13:43,281 I don't remember!
- 00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:45,242 Goddamn it, tell her! I wanna go home!
- 00:13:45,367 --> 00:13:49,371 Maybe this will help jar your memory.
- 00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:50,789 No! Don't!
- 00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:54,709 ♪ There's a place for us... ♪
- 00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:57,587 Now do you remember?!
- 00:13:57,712 --> 00:14:01,258 Damn your black heart, Barbra Streisand!
- 00:14:01,383 --> 00:14:03,426 I don't know how much more I can take, dude!
- 00:14:03,552 --> 00:14:06,054 All right, you asked for it!
- 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:10,058 ♪ I'm gonna tell you now... ♪
- 00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:11,226 No!
- 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,353 I don't know, man.
- 00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:16,106 Maybe Barbra Streisand doesn't have a place up here after all.
- 00:14:16,231 --> 00:14:18,191 Looks like we'll have to go to plan B.
- 00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:19,860 There's a plan B?
- 00:14:19,985 --> 00:14:22,070 Why the hell have we been driving around all night
- 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,114 and day for when there's a plan B?
- 00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:26,241 Have you ever heard of the band called 'The Cure'?
- 00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,201 Oh, come on.
- 00:14:28,326 --> 00:14:30,370 Don't tell me The Cure has something to do with this too.
- 00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:32,831 No, no. Just the lead singer.
- 00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:34,499 Aah! Aah!
- 00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:37,252 Whoa! What's the matter, Leonard Maltin?
- 00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:40,380 She's close! She's very close! I can feel her.
- 00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:41,923 Where? - She has the boys!
- 00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,592 T-they're in trouble!
- 00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:46,970 Oh, fudge! - Keep going this way, hurry!
- 00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:50,682 ♪ Happiness with you is like happiness with... ♪
- 00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:53,059 Okay, okay!
- 00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:55,061 I'll tell you where the triangle is!
- 00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:56,730 It's inside my shoe.
- 00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:58,398 Oh, for Christ's sake, Cartman.
- 00:14:58,523 --> 00:15:00,358 When's the last time you changed your socks?
- 00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:02,485 I suppose your socks smell like the botanical gardens.
- 00:15:02,611 --> 00:15:05,947 Finally! The triangle is mine!
- 00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:07,490 After centuries of waiting,
- 00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:11,494 I finally have the Triangle of Zinthar!
- 00:15:11,620 --> 00:15:15,665 Now the Diamond of Pantheos is complete!
- 00:15:19,044 --> 00:15:21,755 Sugoi! Kono hi wa!
- 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,049 Atarashii hajimaru da!
- 00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:25,342 Ima kara!
- 00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:28,136 Atashi no namae wa!
- 00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,722 Whoa, dude!
- 00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:37,437 MECHA-BARBARA STREISAND DA!
- 00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:44,027 Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here.
- 00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:48,657 Holy crap, Ned!
- 00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:50,951 That's the biggest goddamn deer I've ever seen!
- 00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:55,997 And so just weeks after
- 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:57,457 the devastating attack of mutant genetic creatures,
- 00:15:57,582 --> 00:15:59,250 zombies, and Thanksgiving turkeys,
- 00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:02,003 the town of South Park has managed to rebuild itself
- 00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:03,588 once again b--
- 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:07,968 Oh, goddamn it, not again.
- 00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:23,650 Mayor, Barbra Streisand is-- - I noticed.
- 00:16:23,775 --> 00:16:26,152 Call the National Guard!
- 00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:29,072 Oh, we'll get you, you bitch.
- 00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:33,118 And to think I actually watched your HBO special!
- 00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:36,746 - Children! - Chef!
- 00:16:36,871 --> 00:16:38,373 Oh, no, no!
- 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,250 She has joined the two triangles?
- 00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:42,043 Yeah, she stole my triangle!
- 00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:45,797 Get us down from here. - I can't break these locks.
- 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,924 Stand back, Chef.
- 00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:49,759 Marutang ray!
- 00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:53,972 Whoa, that was cool!
- 00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:55,598 I've got to go after Mecha-Streisand.
- 00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:57,559 Chef, I need you to call Robert Smith of The Cure
- 00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:00,353 at this number. - Robert Smith? Sweet.
- 00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:03,565 Hello? - Uh, yes.
- 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,316 Is this Robert Smith of The Cure?
- 00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:07,193 Yes, it is. - This may sound kinda strange,
- 00:17:07,318 --> 00:17:10,113 but Leonard Maltin asked me to call you.
- 00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:13,158 Oh, so Barbara Streisand's found the other triangle, eh?
- 00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:19,039 All right, men. Give her everything you've got.
- 00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:27,797 Get around side her, Ned!
- 00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:29,674 I can't get a shot in from here!
- 00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:31,051 Okay.
- 00:17:32,844 --> 00:17:35,638 Ah, ah, I'm scared.
- 00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:45,899 It's no use!
- 00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:47,692 Our firepower has no effect!
- 00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:50,070 Oh, my God, it is you!
- 00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:53,364 Oh, I am such a huge fan, Ms. Streisand!
- 00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:56,076 I never thought I'd live to see you in person!
- 00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:57,327 KRAGHGHGH!
- 00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:59,037 I hate to ask this,
- 00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:00,538 but could I get an autograph?
- 00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:02,290 My sister would die!
- 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,792 GRAGHGHGH!
- 00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:08,963 Oh thank you, Ms. Streisand!
- 00:18:14,469 --> 00:18:17,222 We're doomed! Goodbye, Mr. Hat.
- 00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:21,810 Barbra!
- 00:18:24,104 --> 00:18:26,606 Kitte! Kitte! Churi-pu!
- 00:18:26,731 --> 00:18:30,985 <i>♪ Leonard Maltin ♪</i>
- 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:37,909 Look out, children!
- 00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:42,664 Ahhhh!
- 00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:50,213 Oh, no!
- 00:18:53,925 --> 00:18:55,927 Oh, my God, they killed Kenny!
- 00:18:56,052 --> 00:18:57,595 You bastards!
- 00:19:00,515 --> 00:19:01,683 What's going on here?
- 00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:03,226 Sidney Poitier?
- 00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:05,270 That's right. I'm Sidney Poitier.
- 00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:07,772 Damn, man, it's nice to meet you.
- 00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:10,775 The Sidney Poitier in my hometown.
- 00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:13,486 Barbra Streisand has found the Triangle of Zinthar?
- 00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:15,989 Yep, she's made the Diamond of Pantheos, all right.
- 00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:17,991 Koora Koo-ra-suki!
- 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,995 ♪ Mega-Poitier... ♪
- 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:29,752 Is that really necessary?
- 00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:44,726 It's over.
- 00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:46,144 She's too strong for them, children.
- 00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:48,062 We'll have to leave town.
- 00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:49,522 Make it go away.
- 00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:51,274 I hate Barbra Streisand! I hate her!
- 00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:52,901 My mom always said there were no monsters,
- 00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:54,402 but there are, aren't there, Chef?
- 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:57,197 We have to say goodbye to South Park.
- 00:19:57,322 --> 00:20:00,116 Oh, my God! Help me!
- 00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:04,996 Am I too late? - Who are you?
- 00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:06,581 Dude! That's Robert Smith of The Cure!
- 00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:07,957 Sweet! - Here, you boys
- 00:20:08,082 --> 00:20:09,250 hold this walkie.
- 00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:10,460 You can help me find her.
- 00:20:10,585 --> 00:20:11,920 You can try, Robert Smith,
- 00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:13,588 but that thing just beat the crap
- 00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,590 out of Leonard Maltin and Sidney Poitier!
- 00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:17,592 I have to try.
- 00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:20,303 I can't let Barbara Streisand do this to the entire world.
- 00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:24,307 ♪ Robert Smith, Robert Smith... ♪
- 00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:39,489 We must tell him that her weak point is the nose.
- 00:20:39,614 --> 00:20:42,867 Robert Smith, hit her nose. Use robot punch!
- 00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:51,459 The Diamond of Pantheos!
- 00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:53,002 She must be powerless now.
- 00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:55,046 Quickly, Robert Smith. She's powerless!!
- 00:20:55,171 --> 00:20:59,175 ♪ Robert Smith, Robert Smith... ♪
- 00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:08,268 He did it!
- 00:21:08,393 --> 00:21:10,645 No more Barbra Streisand ever!
- 00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,647 Wow, Robert Smith is the greatest person
- 00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:13,731 that ever lived.
- 00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:14,816 Our savior!
- 00:21:16,693 --> 00:21:19,404 Can I have my walkie-talkie back now, please?
- 00:21:19,529 --> 00:21:22,073 No way. You gave it to us. It's mine now.
- 00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:24,617 All right, I'll Roshambo you for it.
- 00:21:24,742 --> 00:21:25,743 Ready? - Huh?
- 00:21:29,414 --> 00:21:31,666 Hey, where's he going?
- 00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,334 Goodbye, Robert Smith!
- 00:21:33,459 --> 00:21:35,586 Thank you for your help. Visit us again.
- 00:21:35,712 --> 00:21:38,256 "Disintegration" is the best album ever!
- 00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:46,597 Well, what should we do with the two triangles now?
- 00:21:46,723 --> 00:21:48,057 We've got to get rid of them.
- 00:21:48,182 --> 00:21:49,142 Nobody should have the kind of power
- 00:21:49,267 --> 00:21:50,935 Barbra Streisand wanted.
- 00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:52,395 Well, at least I have this sweet walkie-talkie
- 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:53,646 Robert Smith gave me.
- 00:21:53,771 --> 00:21:54,856 No! That's my walkie-talkie!
- 00:21:54,981 --> 00:21:56,649 He gave it to me!
- 00:21:56,774 --> 00:21:58,484 Dammit, Cartman, don't you ever learn anything?
- 00:21:58,609 --> 00:22:01,237 Come on, Stan, it's mine. I'll Roshambo you for it.
- 00:22:01,362 --> 00:22:02,697 Go to hell, Cartman.
- 00:22:04,198 --> 00:22:05,950 Well, that whole experience sure did suck.
- 00:22:06,075 --> 00:22:08,036 Yeah, I'm sure glad that's over with.
- 00:22:08,161 --> 00:22:09,996 But you know, I've learned something today.
- 00:22:10,121 --> 00:22:12,206 I've learned that people who want power, a lot of power,
- 00:22:12,332 --> 00:22:13,666 always end up dead.
- 00:22:13,791 --> 00:22:15,668 Yeah. - Yes, and I've
- 00:22:15,793 --> 00:22:16,878 something too.
- 00:22:17,003 --> 00:22:18,463 Robert Smith kicks ass.
- 00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:22,216 Oh, no! She's back!
- 00:22:22,342 --> 00:22:24,218 Oh, my God! Look!
- 00:22:27,221 --> 00:22:29,349 Aaah! Mecha-Ike!
- 00:00:02,378 --> 00:00:03,629 [laughter] Hold on, hold on.
- 00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:07,174 [flatulence] [laughter]
- 00:00:07,299 --> 00:00:08,509 Did you like that episode, South Park-eteers?
- 00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:10,469 children: You bet!
- 00:00:10,594 --> 00:00:11,929 Well, great, then you're gonna love this next episode.
- 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,389 It's our favorite episode.
- 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:14,974 It's entitled "Mecha-Streisand."
- 00:00:15,099 --> 00:00:17,351 In it, we follow the real-life exploits
- 00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:18,811 of singer Barbra Streisand
- 00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:20,688 as she tries to take over the world.
- 00:00:20,813 --> 00:00:22,940 You know, South Park-eteers, a lot of our fans ask us,
- 00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:25,109 "Do you really hate the celebrities you make fun of
- 00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:26,610 in 'South Park'?"
- 00:00:26,736 --> 00:00:28,446 And the answer is, of course not.
- 00:00:28,571 --> 00:00:30,072 It's all just in good fun.
- 00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:32,241 Except when it comes to Barbra Streisand.
- 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:33,451 We hate her.
- 00:00:33,576 --> 00:00:34,910 [giggles] And in fact,
- 00:00:35,036 --> 00:00:36,412 we're pretending the Indian Companion
- 00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:37,663 is Barbra Streisand right now.
- 00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:39,123 That's why we're kicking her.
- 00:00:39,248 --> 00:00:41,125 [laughs] Shut up, Barbra Streisand.
- 00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:42,501 children: Hooray!
- 00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:43,961 Well, time to sit back, relax,
- 00:00:44,086 --> 00:00:45,171 and let's have a rootin'-tootin',
- 00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:46,422 yippee-ti-yi-yo
- 00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,257 grandma-humpin' time with
- 00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:49,425 "Mecha-Streisand."
- 00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:50,551 Yee-haw!
- 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:53,971 [gunshot] children: Hooray!
- 00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:03,981 <i>[twangy music]</i>
- 00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:05,483 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:01:05,608 --> 00:01:07,485 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:01:07,610 --> 00:01:09,195 all: ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,738 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:01:10,863 --> 00:01:12,198 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
- 00:01:12,323 --> 00:01:14,033 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:15,743 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,244 ♪ People spouting: "Howdy neighbor!" ♪
- 00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:18,746 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
- 00:01:18,871 --> 00:01:20,498 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:01:20,623 --> 00:01:23,667 [singing indistinctly]
- 00:01:23,793 --> 00:01:25,169 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:26,962 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:30,883 And so, these ancient arrowheads are buried
- 00:01:31,008 --> 00:01:32,760 deep down in the Earth's crust!
- 00:01:32,885 --> 00:01:34,470 We dig 'em up, polish 'em off
- 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:37,056 and find over twelve new arrowheads every month!
- 00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:39,642 Booorrrring. [laughter]
- 00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:42,686 Eric, keep quiet! I'm trying to sleep!
- 00:01:42,812 --> 00:01:46,398 Now, can anybody tell me who left these arrowheads here?
- 00:01:46,524 --> 00:01:48,400 Isn't that your job?
- 00:01:48,526 --> 00:01:50,820 Well, yes, but I want to see if you're learning anything.
- 00:01:50,945 --> 00:01:53,030 Oh. - Okay, I tell you what.
- 00:01:53,155 --> 00:01:55,574 Why don't we all grab our little anthropology pickaxes
- 00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:57,368 that were handed out
- 00:01:57,493 --> 00:01:59,537 and we'll dig for our very own Indian Arrowheads!
- 00:01:59,662 --> 00:02:01,747 [cheering]
- 00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:05,167 ♪ Day is never finished ♪
- 00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,086 ♪ Massa got me working ♪
- 00:02:07,211 --> 00:02:09,672 ♪ Someday massa set me free ♪
- 00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,966 Dude, shut up, Cartman! - Ooh, ooh!
- 00:02:12,091 --> 00:02:13,217 I think I found one!
- 00:02:13,342 --> 00:02:14,927 No, I found it.
- 00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:16,929 Oh, I do believe I found it first.
- 00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:18,973 No, I did, Pip! - Oh, dear.
- 00:02:19,098 --> 00:02:20,599 Well, guess we'll have to Roshambo for it.
- 00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,518 What do you mean?
- 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:25,396 Well, first I kick you in the nuts as hard as I can.
- 00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:27,565 Then you kick me in the nuts as hard as you can.
- 00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:29,775 And we keep going back and forth until somebody falls.
- 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,402 Last one standing gets the arrowhead.
- 00:02:31,527 --> 00:02:34,572 Oh, my. Well, I suppose if I must...
- 00:02:34,697 --> 00:02:36,323 Okay, ready? I'll go first.
- 00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:39,869 [yelps, coughs]
- 00:02:39,994 --> 00:02:41,287 [laughter]
- 00:02:41,412 --> 00:02:43,122 Well, I guess you win.
- 00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:44,540 I don't care, you can have the stupid arrowhead.
- 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,333 I don't want it.
- 00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:49,920 ♪ Day is never finished ♪
- 00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:52,173 ♪ Massa got me working ♪
- 00:02:52,298 --> 00:02:54,758 Oh, look, I found another one.
- 00:02:56,010 --> 00:02:58,345 Aw, this is just a stupid triangle!
- 00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:01,223 Whoa, check it out, dude.
- 00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:02,808 It's got little drawings on it.
- 00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,476 What is it? - I don't know.
- 00:03:04,602 --> 00:03:06,145 [shimmering tone] Whoa!
- 00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:08,647 That was cool! - Hey, give me that back!
- 00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:10,649 You threw it away, Cartman. It's mine now.
- 00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:13,319 We'll Roshambo for it. - No way, fatty. It's mine.
- 00:03:13,444 --> 00:03:14,862 Anthropologist!
- 00:03:14,987 --> 00:03:16,155 How's it going, boys?
- 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:17,948 I found a magic triangle
- 00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:19,450 and this greedy son of a bitch took it from me!
- 00:03:19,575 --> 00:03:20,784 You threw it away, fatso!
- 00:03:20,910 --> 00:03:22,036 Let me see that.
- 00:03:22,161 --> 00:03:23,996 Why, this is Anastasi writing!
- 00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:26,332 My God, this must be thousands of years old!
- 00:03:26,457 --> 00:03:28,584 Come on, let me kick you in the nuts for it!
- 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:32,254 And finally tonight, a young boy
- 00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:34,924 from South Park, Colorado found something very interesting
- 00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:36,550 during a field trip today.
- 00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:38,135 Here with a special report
- 00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:40,262 is a quadriplegic Swiss man on a pony.
- 00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:41,472 Thanks Tom. The little eight year old
- 00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:43,390 was very shocked indeed
- 00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:45,726 when he came across a very ancient triangular object.
- 00:03:45,851 --> 00:03:47,603 Well, I was just digging around, and I was all like,
- 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,688 "Dude, I found this triangle."
- 00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:51,565 And my friends were all like, "Dude," and I was all, "Dude."
- 00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:53,192 And I told him, I said, "Kyle,
- 00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:54,693 I will kick you in the nuts."
- 00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:56,237 But he didn't give it back to me.
- 00:03:56,362 --> 00:03:57,696 So I kicked him square in the nuts...
- 00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,531 And he cried like Nancy Kerrigan.
- 00:03:59,657 --> 00:04:01,742 You liar, Cartman! - Screw you, triangle thief!
- 00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:04,203 And so, the little boy will take his discovery home
- 00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:05,871 and perhaps donate it to science...
- 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,331 A little later.
- 00:04:07,456 --> 00:04:08,624 Back to you, Dave. - Thanks, Tom.
- 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,292 Those are some cute, cute kids.
- 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:11,919 Except for that last one. He's a little tubby.
- 00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:13,420 <i>Hey!</i>
- 00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:15,422 What are you gonna do with it, dude?
- 00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:17,174 I'm gonna put it in my room, where Cartman can't find it.
- 00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:19,093 Oh I'll find it, don't worry!
- 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:23,222 Goddammit! Gimme my triangle, Kyle, seriously!
- 00:04:23,347 --> 00:04:24,682 You did throw it away, Cartman.
- 00:04:24,807 --> 00:04:26,141 I was just setting it aside.
- 00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:28,227 Well, you might as well let it go.
- 00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:30,521 Never! I'll get that triangle if it's the last thing I do!
- 00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:32,189 [dramatic musical flourish]
- 00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:33,857 ♪ Gimme a little bit of that pepper ♪
- 00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:35,526 ♪ Gimme a little bit of that salt ♪
- 00:04:35,651 --> 00:04:36,986 ♪ Put it in the skillet and cook it ♪
- 00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:38,737 Excuse me, sir. - Can I help--hey.
- 00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:41,031 You're that movie critic guy on TV.
- 00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:43,659 Leonard Maltin, yes. - Well I'll be a teenage girl
- 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,828 backstage at an Aerosmith concert.
- 00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:48,247 Leonard Maltin in my cafeteria!
- 00:04:48,372 --> 00:04:50,082 I'm Chef.
- 00:04:50,207 --> 00:04:51,834 I know who you are. You must listen to me, Chef.
- 00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:53,377 We have precious little time.
- 00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,504 Have you seen Barbra Streisand recently?
- 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,172 Barbra Streisand? You mean, like,
- 00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:58,716 THE Barbra Streisand?
- 00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:00,175 Have you seen her?! - No.
- 00:05:00,301 --> 00:05:01,677 Not since "Yentl."
- 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,387 Thank God. Then I'm not too late.
- 00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:04,972 Too late for what?
- 00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:06,682 Chef, it is of the upmost importance
- 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,017 that you tell me where those little boys
- 00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:09,476 from the news report on TV are.
- 00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:11,478 Why do you care?
- 00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:14,773 I have a button we can use for his nose.
- 00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:17,151 [muffled speech]
- 00:05:17,276 --> 00:05:18,736 What would you use a marble sack for?
- 00:05:18,861 --> 00:05:20,112 Be careful where you put that carrot.
- 00:05:20,237 --> 00:05:21,322 Kyle might steal it.
- 00:05:21,447 --> 00:05:23,407 I didn't steal anything.
- 00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:25,701 Stan, would you tell Kyle that I'm not speaking with him?
- 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,119 Good!
- 00:05:27,244 --> 00:05:29,663 [whirring] - What's that noise?
- 00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:31,081 Whoa!
- 00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:32,583 Aah! Aliens!
- 00:05:32,708 --> 00:05:35,836 [ominous music]
- 00:05:35,961 --> 00:05:39,465 ♪♪
- 00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:42,843 Who is the boy I saw on the news report tonight?
- 00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:46,472 Hello there, little boy. Do you know who I am?
- 00:05:46,597 --> 00:05:47,639 No.
- 00:05:47,765 --> 00:05:49,475 Oh, I bet you do.
- 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:53,145 ♪ I'm going... ♪ - Aah! Stop that!
- 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:56,565 ♪ Where there's lucky clovers in the sun... ♪
- 00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:57,858 Yeah, that sucks, dude.
- 00:05:57,983 --> 00:05:59,902 I'm Barbra Streisand!
- 00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:01,820 So? - So...
- 00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:06,241 So I'm a very famous and very important individual.
- 00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:07,743 Like John Elway important?
- 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,411 What?! - Do you know John Elway?
- 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,121 No.
- 00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:12,498 Oh, so you're really famous and important
- 00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:13,665 but you don't know John Elway.
- 00:06:13,791 --> 00:06:15,793 Look, little boy,
- 00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:18,629 I understand that you found a neat little triangle near here.
- 00:06:18,754 --> 00:06:19,922 You know what I'm talking about?
- 00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:21,256 Yeah...
- 00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:22,800 No, I found it. He stole it.
- 00:06:22,925 --> 00:06:24,635 You threw it away, Cartman!
- 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:26,678 I'm not talking to him, because he's a dirty thief.
- 00:06:26,804 --> 00:06:29,223 Little boy, does the triangle have a symbol of two snakes
- 00:06:29,348 --> 00:06:30,349 joined at the middle?
- 00:06:30,474 --> 00:06:31,934 Yeah, how'd you know?
- 00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:34,520 Okay, now this is very important.
- 00:06:34,645 --> 00:06:37,481 Where is the Triangle of Zinthar now?
- 00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:38,941 Triangle of Zinthar?
- 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,651 Why do you want to know, lady?
- 00:06:40,776 --> 00:06:42,152 I'm not talking to you, you pissant little hick!
- 00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:43,529 Whoa, dude!
- 00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:45,114 Where is the Triangle, damn it?!
- 00:06:45,239 --> 00:06:46,657 Aaagh!
- 00:06:46,782 --> 00:06:48,867 What seems to be the problemo here?
- 00:06:48,992 --> 00:06:51,662 Problemo? There's no problemo, Officer.
- 00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:54,915 I was just introducing myself to these charming little boys.
- 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,000 Nu-uh! She was being a total bitch!
- 00:06:57,126 --> 00:06:59,461 Boys, shouldn't you be in school?
- 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,797 It's Saturday. - No excuses!
- 00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,715 Move along, you little troublemakers.
- 00:07:07,511 --> 00:07:10,472 Well?! - Well what?
- 00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:12,558 You know who I am, don't you?
- 00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,769 Well, you ain't Fiona Apple.
- 00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:18,147 And if you ain't Fiona Apple, I don't give a rat's ass
- 00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:19,481 Argh!
- 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,108 Hoo! What a bitch!
- 00:07:21,233 --> 00:07:23,819 <i>[twangy music]</i>
- 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,779 I guess he's not home, Leonard Maltin.
- 00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:27,948 Damn! Then we must look for them elsewhere.
- 00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:29,867 Now, come on, man! What is this all about?
- 00:07:29,992 --> 00:07:32,327 If Barbara Streisand saw the same news report I did,
- 00:07:32,453 --> 00:07:34,163 then those boys are in grave danger.
- 00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:35,539 If you were Barbra Streisand,
- 00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:37,458 where would you be right now?
- 00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:39,168 Hmm.
- 00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:42,754 No, no! I mean where would she be staying?
- 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:46,133 Oh, uh, well, I always heard that Mrs. Streisand
- 00:07:46,258 --> 00:07:47,968 had her own $4 million condominium
- 00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:49,219 up near the ski slope.
- 00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:50,721 Where? - I don't know.
- 00:07:50,846 --> 00:07:52,347 I-it was just a rumor.
- 00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:54,349 Damn it, man, where is your car?!
- 00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:57,394 <i>[dramatic music]</i>
- 00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:58,437 ♪♪
- 00:07:58,562 --> 00:08:00,022 He has it, Milo.
- 00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:01,523 That little bastard has the Triangle.
- 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,525 Are you sure? - I'm sure!
- 00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,611 He knew about the symbol of Krulock!
- 00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:07,154 Then why don't we go get it?
- 00:08:07,279 --> 00:08:08,947 A cop showed up. He's a clever one.
- 00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:10,616 I can't blow everything now that I'm this close.
- 00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:13,494 Everything must be handled very carefully.
- 00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:20,000 How many years has it been, Milo? 30? 40?
- 00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:23,921 For so long, I have waited to find the other triangle.
- 00:08:24,046 --> 00:08:26,131 And now I am so close.
- 00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:29,134 The dawn of Zinthar is close at hand!
- 00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:31,762 [cackling]
- 00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:44,191 <i>[suspenseful music]</i>
- 00:08:44,316 --> 00:08:51,323 ♪♪
- 00:08:57,829 --> 00:08:58,789 [babbling]
- 00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:00,832 [glass shatters]
- 00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:02,417 Cartman?
- 00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:04,211 You scared the crap out of me, Ike!
- 00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:05,420 What the hell are you doing?!
- 00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:07,005 I'm trying to get my tri--
- 00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:08,131 wait a minute, I'm not talking to you!
- 00:09:08,257 --> 00:09:09,633 Ike, will you tell Kyle
- 00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:11,176 that I was trying to get my triangle back?
- 00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:13,178 [babbling]
- 00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:16,306 Well, Ike, you can tell Cartman that it's my triangle!
- 00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,392 [babbling]
- 00:09:18,517 --> 00:09:20,852 Well you can tell Kyle he's a dirty goddamn son of a bitch!!
- 00:09:20,978 --> 00:09:23,605 [babbling] - All right, all right!
- 00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,315 If it means that much to you, take the stupid triangle!
- 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,067 Huh? - If it'll make you
- 00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:28,235 leave me alone, then just take the damn thing.
- 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:29,528 Here.
- 00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:31,530 There. Now get out of my house.
- 00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:33,615 And I hope you feel really, really good about yourself.
- 00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:37,119 Hell yeah, I do. I got the triangle.
- 00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:40,080 ♪ I got the triangle, I got the triangle ♪
- 00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:41,832 ♪ You don't, you don't ♪
- 00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:45,919 Are you sure Barbra Streisand has a condo up here?
- 00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,588 It was just a rumor.
- 00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:49,381 A lot of big celebrities have mountain condos.
- 00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:51,091 Then we've got to keep looking.
- 00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:52,634 [tires screech] All right, Leonard Maltin,
- 00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,052 this has gone far enough.
- 00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:55,679 I ain't driving another mile
- 00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:57,556 till you tell me what this is all about.
- 00:09:57,681 --> 00:09:59,600 Haven't you ever been curious about the insanity
- 00:09:59,725 --> 00:10:01,476 Barbra Streisand exhibits?
- 00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:04,605 Well, I always heard she was kind of a bitch, but--
- 00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:06,106 More than a bitch, Chef!
- 00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:07,107 She's a calculating, self-centered,
- 00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,942 egotistical bitch.
- 00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:10,902 She was born in a small town, her mother was a jackal,
- 00:10:11,028 --> 00:10:12,946 and her father was an insurance salesman.
- 00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:15,115 [shudders] Ooh. Insurance salesman?
- 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,533 When she was five, she knew that she wanted
- 00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:17,743 to be a famous singer.
- 00:10:17,868 --> 00:10:19,411 But by the time she was six,
- 00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:20,829 her ambitions became to rule the universe.
- 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:21,997 She learned of an ancient diamond.
- 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,498 The diamond of Pantheos.
- 00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:25,584 Okay, you know what? Never mind.
- 00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:27,961 I don't need to know all this. Forget I asked.
- 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:29,630 Before she was seven, the keepers of Pantheos
- 00:10:29,755 --> 00:10:30,756 learned of this insane little girl's wish.
- 00:10:30,881 --> 00:10:32,466 The diamond was split up
- 00:10:32,591 --> 00:10:34,259 and buried at opposite ends of the world.
- 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:35,969 But then, during the shooting of "My Fair Lady,"
- 00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:38,013 Barbra Streisand found one of the triangles.
- 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,682 And the other triangle is the one that little Kyle has?
- 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,601 Yes, Mr. Chef. If Babs get ahold
- 00:10:42,726 --> 00:10:45,062 of that other triangle, she will fulfill her prophecy
- 00:10:45,187 --> 00:10:48,649 and become the most threatening thing ever known to mankind...
- 00:10:48,774 --> 00:10:50,150 Mecha-Streisand.
- 00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,818 Mecha-Streisand?
- 00:10:51,943 --> 00:10:54,029 Oh man, I don't know what the hell that means,
- 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,989 but it doesn't sound good.
- 00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:57,991 Man, the bus sure is late.
- 00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:00,661 Hmmm, I wonder what I should do with my triangle,
- 00:11:00,786 --> 00:11:02,871 now that it is my triangle.
- 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,248 Damn it, Cartman, I gave it to you so you would shut up.
- 00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:10,504 Oh, hello there, little boys.
- 00:11:10,629 --> 00:11:11,963 How are you today?
- 00:11:12,089 --> 00:11:13,882 Fine. - That is great.
- 00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,884 My name is Mrs. Jones.
- 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:19,012 And I am a very friendly, nice person.
- 00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:22,265 I hear that one of you found my triangle.
- 00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:23,475 <i>Your</i> triangle?
- 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,269 Yes. You see, that triangle
- 00:11:26,395 --> 00:11:28,855 is part of my kidney dialysis machine.
- 00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:30,691 I'm so glad you found it,
- 00:11:30,816 --> 00:11:33,735 because without it, I was sure to die within hours.
- 00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:35,529 Oh no, you don't! Finders keepers!
- 00:11:35,654 --> 00:11:37,322 But I'll die!
- 00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:38,865 Well, I guess we'll have to Roshambo for it.
- 00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:40,784 I'll kick you in the nuts as hard as I can,
- 00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,703 then you kick me square in the nuts as hard as you can.
- 00:11:42,828 --> 00:11:46,832 I want to give you a big cash reward for finding it.
- 00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:49,710 It's worth a lot of money to me.
- 00:11:49,835 --> 00:11:51,586 It is?
- 00:11:51,712 --> 00:11:53,463 Hey, no wonder that Barbara Streisand lady wanted it!
- 00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:56,383 Oh, [laughs]. Who is that?
- 00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:58,260 Oh, just this really, really old lady
- 00:11:58,385 --> 00:11:59,970 who wishes she was still only 45.
- 00:12:00,095 --> 00:12:01,888 [laughter]
- 00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:03,557 Yeah, and you should have seen her nose.
- 00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:05,225 It was big enough to land stealth bombers on.
- 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:07,769 [laughter]
- 00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,147 Yeah, and talk about a bitch. I haven't seen--
- 00:12:10,272 --> 00:12:11,523 Enough!
- 00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:13,358 Oh. Ha, ha.
- 00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:16,778 Anyway, if you'll come with me in my car,
- 00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:19,614 I'll take you up to my condo where I'll kill you--
- 00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:23,201 I mean, uh, give you money for the triangle.
- 00:12:23,326 --> 00:12:25,245 Sweet! I'm gonna be rich!
- 00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:26,955 Bet you wish you wouldn't have given me back that triangle
- 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,957 now, huh, Kyle? Dumbass.
- 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:31,042 Wait, isn't there some rule about not getting into cars
- 00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:32,586 with strangers?
- 00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:34,212 No, not when money's involved, stupid.
- 00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:36,590 <i>[regal music]</i>
- 00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:38,633 And action.
- 00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:40,677 Rebecca, I'm a man.
- 00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:43,305 A man like any other with dreams and emotions.
- 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:46,141 And that's why I'll never put a foreign object up my ass.
- 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,642 Cut. Great. Print that.
- 00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:49,478 Excellent work, Sid. Take five, guys.
- 00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:51,062 Let's set up for the next shot.
- 00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:56,359 [voices] Hello. - Ho?!
- 00:12:56,485 --> 00:12:58,028 You must hurry.
- 00:12:58,153 --> 00:12:59,696 A young man has found the Triangle of Zinthar!
- 00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:01,615 Where?!
- 00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:03,700 A small, pissant, white-bread mountain town in Colorado
- 00:13:03,825 --> 00:13:04,951 called South Park.
- 00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:06,661 Excellent.
- 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:13,460 Soon, the Triangle of Zinthar will be mine,
- 00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:17,756 and I will be the biggest, most famous person ever!
- 00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:19,883 [grunts] Let me go! Seriously!
- 00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:21,218 Yeah, let us go!
- 00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:23,094 You fools have no idea
- 00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:24,971 the powers that you are meddling with.
- 00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:29,601 I'll teach you to meddle with my triangle!
- 00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:32,145 [screams] It's not my triangle!
- 00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:33,814 It's Kyle's! - Hey!
- 00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:35,941 Don't try to pass it back on me, fat-ass!
- 00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:38,860 [groans] Screw you, hippie!
- 00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:41,571 Where is the Triangle of Zinthar?!
- 00:13:41,696 --> 00:13:43,281 I don't remember!
- 00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:45,242 Goddamn it, tell her! I wanna go home!
- 00:13:45,367 --> 00:13:49,371 Maybe this will help jar your memory.
- 00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:50,789 No! Don't!
- 00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:54,709 ♪ There's a place for us... ♪
- 00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:57,587 [screaming] Now do you remember?!
- 00:13:57,712 --> 00:14:01,258 [panting] Damn your black heart, Barbra Streisand!
- 00:14:01,383 --> 00:14:03,426 I don't know how much more I can take, dude!
- 00:14:03,552 --> 00:14:06,054 All right, you asked for it!
- 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:10,058 ♪ I'm gonna tell you now... ♪
- 00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:11,226 all: No!
- 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,353 I don't know, man.
- 00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:16,106 Maybe Barbra Streisand doesn't have a place up here after all.
- 00:14:16,231 --> 00:14:18,191 Looks like we'll have to go to plan B.
- 00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:19,860 There's a plan B?
- 00:14:19,985 --> 00:14:22,070 Why the hell have we been driving around all night
- 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,114 and day for when there's a plan B?
- 00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:26,241 Have you ever heard of the band called 'The Cure'?
- 00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,201 Oh, come on.
- 00:14:28,326 --> 00:14:30,370 Don't tell me The Cure has something to do with this too.
- 00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:32,831 No, no. Just the lead singer.
- 00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:34,499 Aah! Aah!
- 00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:37,252 Whoa! What's the matter, Leonard Maltin?
- 00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:40,380 She's close! She's very close! I can feel her.
- 00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:41,923 Where? - She has the boys!
- 00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,592 T-they're in trouble!
- 00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:46,970 Oh, fudge! - Keep going this way, hurry!
- 00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:50,682 ♪ Happiness with you is like happiness with... ♪
- 00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:53,059 [all screaming] Okay, okay!
- 00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:55,061 I'll tell you where the triangle is!
- 00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:56,730 It's inside my shoe.
- 00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:58,398 Oh, for Christ's sake, Cartman.
- 00:14:58,523 --> 00:15:00,358 When's the last time you changed your socks?
- 00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:02,485 I suppose your socks smell like the botanical gardens.
- 00:15:02,611 --> 00:15:05,947 Finally! The triangle is mine!
- 00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:07,490 After centuries of waiting,
- 00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:11,494 I finally have the Triangle of Zinthar!
- 00:15:11,620 --> 00:15:15,665 Now the Diamond of Pantheos is complete!
- 00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:17,459 [shimmering tone]
- 00:15:19,044 --> 00:15:21,755 Sugoi! Kono hi wa!
- 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,049 Atarashii hajimaru da!
- 00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:25,342 Ima kara!
- 00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:28,136 Atashi no namae wa!
- 00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,722 Whoa, dude!
- 00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:37,437 MECHA-BARBARA STREISAND DA!
- 00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:40,440 [howling]
- 00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:44,027 Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here.
- 00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:46,905 [howling]
- 00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:48,657 Holy crap, Ned!
- 00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:50,951 That's the biggest goddamn deer I've ever seen!
- 00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:55,997 And so just weeks after
- 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:57,457 the devastating attack of mutant genetic creatures,
- 00:15:57,582 --> 00:15:59,250 zombies, and Thanksgiving turkeys,
- 00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:02,003 the town of South Park has managed to rebuild itself
- 00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:03,588 once again b--
- 00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:06,174 [howling]
- 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:07,968 Oh, goddamn it, not again.
- 00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:11,638 <i>♪ [man singing Japanese] ♪</i>
- 00:16:11,763 --> 00:16:18,770 ♪♪
- 00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:23,650 Mayor, Barbra Streisand is-- - I noticed.
- 00:16:23,775 --> 00:16:26,152 Call the National Guard!
- 00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:29,072 Oh, we'll get you, you bitch.
- 00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:33,118 And to think I actually watched your HBO special!
- 00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:36,746 Children! [together] Chef!
- 00:16:36,871 --> 00:16:38,373 Oh, no, no!
- 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,250 She has joined the two triangles?
- 00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:42,043 Yeah, she stole my triangle!
- 00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:45,797 Get us down from here. - I can't break these locks.
- 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,924 Stand back, Chef.
- 00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:49,759 Marutang ray!
- 00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:51,636 [zapping]
- 00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:53,972 Whoa, that was cool!
- 00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:55,598 I've got to go after Mecha-Streisand.
- 00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:57,559 Chef, I need you to call Robert Smith of The Cure
- 00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:00,353 at this number. - Robert Smith? Sweet.
- 00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:03,565 Hello? - Uh, yes.
- 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,316 Is this Robert Smith of The Cure?
- 00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:07,193 Yes, it is. - This may sound kinda strange,
- 00:17:07,318 --> 00:17:10,113 but Leonard Maltin asked me to call you.
- 00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:13,158 Oh, so Barbara Streisand's found the other triangle, eh?
- 00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:16,327 <i>[dramatic music]</i>
- 00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:19,039 All right, men. Give her everything you've got.
- 00:17:19,164 --> 00:17:20,874 [shrieking]
- 00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:23,376 [missles blasting]
- 00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:26,337 [shrieking]
- 00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:27,797 Get around side her, Ned!
- 00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:29,674 I can't get a shot in from here!
- 00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:31,051 Okay.
- 00:17:32,844 --> 00:17:35,638 Ah, ah, I'm scared.
- 00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:39,434 [shrieking]
- 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,311 <i>♪ [man singing Japanese] ♪</i>
- 00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:44,689 ♪♪
- 00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:45,899 It's no use!
- 00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:47,692 Our firepower has no effect!
- 00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:50,070 Oh, my God, it is you!
- 00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:53,364 Oh, I am such a huge fan, Ms. Streisand!
- 00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:56,076 I never thought I'd live to see you in person!
- 00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:57,327 KRAGHGHGH!
- 00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:59,037 I hate to ask this,
- 00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:00,538 but could I get an autograph?
- 00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:02,290 My sister would die!
- 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,792 GRAGHGHGH!
- 00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:08,963 Oh thank you, Ms. Streisand!
- 00:18:09,089 --> 00:18:10,465 [howling]
- 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,133 [overlapping screams]
- 00:18:14,469 --> 00:18:17,222 We're doomed! Goodbye, Mr. Hat.
- 00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:20,433 <i>♪ [man singing Japanese] ♪</i>
- 00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:21,810 Barbra!
- 00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:23,978 [shrieking]
- 00:18:24,104 --> 00:18:26,606 Kitte! Kitte! Churi-pu!
- 00:18:26,731 --> 00:18:30,985 <i>♪ [man singing Japanese] Leonard Maltin ♪</i>
- 00:18:34,155 --> 00:18:36,491 <i>[exciting music]</i>
- 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:37,909 Look out, children!
- 00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:40,745 [overlapping screams]
- 00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:42,664 all: Ahhhh!
- 00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:45,333 ♪♪
- 00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:50,213 Oh, no!
- 00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:53,800 [muffled speech]
- 00:18:53,925 --> 00:18:55,927 Oh, my God, they killed Kenny!
- 00:18:56,052 --> 00:18:57,595 You bastards!
- 00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,390 <i>[heroic music]</i>
- 00:19:00,515 --> 00:19:01,683 What's going on here?
- 00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:03,226 Sidney Poitier?
- 00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:05,270 That's right. I'm Sidney Poitier.
- 00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:07,772 Damn, man, it's nice to meet you.
- 00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:10,775 The Sidney Poitier in my hometown.
- 00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:13,486 Barbra Streisand has found the Triangle of Zinthar?
- 00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:15,989 Yep, she's made the Diamond of Pantheos, all right.
- 00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:17,991 Koora Koo-ra-suki!
- 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,995 ♪ [man singing Japanese] Mega-Poitier... ♪
- 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:27,709 ♪♪
- 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:29,752 Is that really necessary?
- 00:19:29,878 --> 00:19:32,755 <i>[exciting music]</i>
- 00:19:32,881 --> 00:19:39,888 ♪♪
- 00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:44,726 It's over.
- 00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:46,144 She's too strong for them, children.
- 00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:48,062 We'll have to leave town.
- 00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:49,522 Make it go away.
- 00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:51,274 I hate Barbra Streisand! I hate her!
- 00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:52,901 My mom always said there were no monsters,
- 00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:54,402 but there are, aren't there, Chef?
- 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:57,197 We have to say goodbye to South Park.
- 00:19:57,322 --> 00:20:00,116 woman: Oh, my God! Help me!
- 00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:03,077 [shrieks]
- 00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:04,996 Am I too late? - Who are you?
- 00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:06,581 Dude! That's Robert Smith of The Cure!
- 00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:07,957 Sweet! - Here, you boys
- 00:20:08,082 --> 00:20:09,250 hold this walkie.
- 00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:10,460 You can help me find her.
- 00:20:10,585 --> 00:20:11,920 You can try, Robert Smith,
- 00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:13,588 but that thing just beat the crap
- 00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,590 out of Leonard Maltin and Sidney Poitier!
- 00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:17,592 I have to try.
- 00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:20,303 I can't let Barbara Streisand do this to the entire world.
- 00:20:20,428 --> 00:20:22,347 [shimmering tone]
- 00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:24,307 ♪ [singing Japanese] Robert Smith, Robert Smith... ♪
- 00:20:24,432 --> 00:20:28,186 ♪♪
- 00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:30,772 [high-pitched tone]
- 00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:35,735 [howling]
- 00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:39,489 We must tell him that her weak point is the nose.
- 00:20:39,614 --> 00:20:42,867 Robert Smith, hit her nose. Use robot punch!
- 00:20:45,787 --> 00:20:47,455 [electricity crackling]
- 00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:51,459 The Diamond of Pantheos!
- 00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:53,002 She must be powerless now.
- 00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:55,046 Quickly, Robert Smith. She's powerless!!
- 00:20:55,171 --> 00:20:59,175 ♪ [singing Japanese] Robert Smith, Robert Smith... ♪
- 00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:03,137 [wailing]
- 00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:06,808 [explosion]
- 00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:08,268 He did it!
- 00:21:08,393 --> 00:21:10,645 No more Barbra Streisand ever!
- 00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,647 Wow, Robert Smith is the greatest person
- 00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:13,731 that ever lived.
- 00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:14,816 Our savior!
- 00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:16,567 [shimmering tone]
- 00:21:16,693 --> 00:21:19,404 Can I have my walkie-talkie back now, please?
- 00:21:19,529 --> 00:21:22,073 No way. You gave it to us. It's mine now.
- 00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:24,617 All right, I'll Roshambo you for it.
- 00:21:24,742 --> 00:21:25,743 Ready? - Huh?
- 00:21:25,868 --> 00:21:27,662 [groaning]
- 00:21:29,414 --> 00:21:31,666 Hey, where's he going?
- 00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,334 Goodbye, Robert Smith!
- 00:21:33,459 --> 00:21:35,586 Thank you for your help. Visit us again.
- 00:21:35,712 --> 00:21:38,256 "Disintegration" is the best album ever!
- 00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:46,597 Well, what should we do with the two triangles now?
- 00:21:46,723 --> 00:21:48,057 We've got to get rid of them.
- 00:21:48,182 --> 00:21:49,142 Nobody should have the kind of power
- 00:21:49,267 --> 00:21:50,935 Barbra Streisand wanted.
- 00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:52,395 Well, at least I have this sweet walkie-talkie
- 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:53,646 Robert Smith gave me.
- 00:21:53,771 --> 00:21:54,856 No! That's my walkie-talkie!
- 00:21:54,981 --> 00:21:56,649 He gave it to me!
- 00:21:56,774 --> 00:21:58,484 Dammit, Cartman, don't you ever learn anything?
- 00:21:58,609 --> 00:22:01,237 Come on, Stan, it's mine. I'll Roshambo you for it.
- 00:22:01,362 --> 00:22:02,697 Go to hell, Cartman.
- 00:22:04,198 --> 00:22:05,950 Well, that whole experience sure did suck.
- 00:22:06,075 --> 00:22:08,036 Yeah, I'm sure glad that's over with.
- 00:22:08,161 --> 00:22:09,996 But you know, I've learned something today.
- 00:22:10,121 --> 00:22:12,206 I've learned that people who want power, a lot of power,
- 00:22:12,332 --> 00:22:13,666 always end up dead.
- 00:22:13,791 --> 00:22:15,668 Yeah. - Yes, and I've
- 00:22:15,793 --> 00:22:16,878 something too.
- 00:22:17,003 --> 00:22:18,463 Robert Smith kicks ass.
- 00:22:18,588 --> 00:22:20,381 [rumbling]
- 00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:22,216 Oh, no! She's back!
- 00:22:22,342 --> 00:22:24,218 Oh, my God! Look!
- 00:22:24,344 --> 00:22:27,096 [howling]
- 00:22:27,221 --> 00:22:29,349 [together] Aaah! Mecha-Ike!
Скриншоты
