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Дэмиен
Damien
Сезон: 01Серия: 10
Описание
В школе новичок — Дэмиен, сын дьявола, с которым никто не хочет дружить. Он предрекает пришествие князя тьмы, и скоро Сатана должен сразиться с Иисусом на ринге.
Субтитры
- 00:00:05,256 --> 00:00:06,632 That was a hoot and a holler.
- 00:00:06,757 --> 00:00:08,217 Did you like that "South Park"-ateers?
- 00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:09,593 <i>- You bet!</i> - That sure was
- 00:00:09,719 --> 00:00:11,178 a good episode, wasn't it?
- 00:00:11,303 --> 00:00:13,097 But this next episode is our favorite episode.
- 00:00:13,222 --> 00:00:14,557 It's called "Damien" and it's about
- 00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:16,392 the ultimate fight between good and evil.
- 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,394 But more than that, it's about being the new kid in school.
- 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,354 That's right, "South Park"-ateers.
- 00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:23,024 You know, being the new kid in school sure can be hard.
- 00:00:23,149 --> 00:00:24,817 Matt and I know from first-hand experience
- 00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:26,402 because, well, we used to beat
- 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:28,112 the crap out of the new kids all the time.
- 00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:30,656 And because the episode has Jesus and Satan in it,
- 00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:32,366 well, we received a lot of complaints
- 00:00:32,491 --> 00:00:34,535 from religious organizations from around the country.
- 00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:37,413 They said we were being blasphemous and sacrilegious.
- 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:40,958 To which we say, well, you're all a bunch of
- 00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:45,504 Christian -heads.
- 00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:47,923 Wow, you said a mouthful there.
- 00:00:48,049 --> 00:00:50,968 Oh, hey, gang, it's our friend Indian companion.
- 00:00:51,093 --> 00:00:53,304 Someone coming.
- 00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:56,640 We don't care.
- 00:00:56,766 --> 00:00:58,017 We don't care that someone's coming.
- 00:00:58,142 --> 00:00:59,810 Can't you say something else?
- 00:00:59,935 --> 00:01:01,854 It's always "Someone coming," "Someone coming."
- 00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:03,230 We don't care. We--I hope someone comes.
- 00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:04,899 We like people.
- 00:01:05,024 --> 00:01:07,151 Kids, let's all tell Indian companion to go away.
- 00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:10,279 <i>Go away, Indian companion!</i>
- 00:01:11,614 --> 00:01:13,282 Well, now why don't we all sit back
- 00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:16,035 and get a little rowdy and watch "Damien."
- 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:18,662 Yee-haw!
- 00:01:18,788 --> 00:01:20,539 <i>Hooray!</i>
- 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,801 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:01:31,926 --> 00:01:33,719 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:35,471 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:37,014 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:38,474 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
- 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,309 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,019 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:43,521 ♪ People spouting: "Howdy neighbor." ♪
- 00:01:43,646 --> 00:01:45,022 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
- 00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:46,774 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:01:50,069 --> 00:01:51,445 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:53,656 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,992 Here you go, Kyle.
- 00:01:57,118 --> 00:01:59,620 And here's your, Stan. - What is this, Cartman?
- 00:01:59,745 --> 00:02:01,038 They're invitations to my birthday party
- 00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:02,873 this weekend. - Oh, sweet.
- 00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:04,834 Your mom's giving you a big party again this year?
- 00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:07,294 That's right. ♪ 'Cause it's my birthday ♪
- 00:02:07,419 --> 00:02:10,381 ♪ My b-b-b-birthday ♪♪♪ - Kick ass, dude.
- 00:02:10,506 --> 00:02:12,633 Cartman's mom throws the best birthday parties ever!
- 00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:14,844 That's right. - Yeah, if my mom could cook
- 00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:17,346 like Cartman's mom, I'd be a big, fat-ass too.
- 00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:18,889 That's ri--hey!
- 00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:20,766 Oh, Eric, I didn't get an invitation.
- 00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:22,518 Oh really?
- 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:25,396 Gosh, where could I have put Pip's invitation?
- 00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:27,648 Let's see... Pip's invitation,
- 00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:29,441 Pip's invitation...
- 00:02:29,567 --> 00:02:30,943 Oh, I remember.
- 00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:32,695 I shoved it up my ass!
- 00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,697 Yes, that's right, I wrote it out,
- 00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,365 put it in an envelope, sealed it,
- 00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,659 and then, bloop, shoved it right up my ass.
- 00:02:38,784 --> 00:02:40,119 Forever ruining any chance you had
- 00:02:40,244 --> 00:02:41,704 of coming to my birthday party.
- 00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,497 Sorry Pip, old chap.
- 00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:47,293 Here's yours Wendy and here's yours Clyde.
- 00:02:47,418 --> 00:02:50,212 Children, children, today is a very special day.
- 00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,256 No, my birthday isn't until Saturday.
- 00:02:52,381 --> 00:02:54,383 I'm not talking about your birthday, Eric.
- 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:57,178 We have a new student joining our class today.
- 00:02:57,303 --> 00:02:59,180 Ugh. - Now, some of you know
- 00:02:59,305 --> 00:03:01,056 what it's like to be the new kid in town.
- 00:03:01,182 --> 00:03:02,850 So I want you all to take special care
- 00:03:02,975 --> 00:03:04,602 to make him feel welcome.
- 00:03:04,727 --> 00:03:07,271 I want you all to meet our new classmate--
- 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:09,190 uh, what's your name again?
- 00:03:09,315 --> 00:03:12,318 Damien.
- 00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:16,572 Say hi to Damien.
- 00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,407 And where are you from, Damien?
- 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:21,368 The seventh layer of hell. - Oh that's exciting.
- 00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:22,953 My mother was from Alabama.
- 00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:25,331 My arrival denotes end of the beginning.
- 00:03:25,456 --> 00:03:26,707 The beginning of the end.
- 00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:28,334 The new reign of my father.
- 00:03:28,459 --> 00:03:30,669 Your father? - The Prince of Darkness.
- 00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:32,838 Wow, we have royalty in our class.
- 00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:34,423 Why don't you take your seat, Damien.
- 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,217 We're gonna finish our lesson on great singers
- 00:03:36,342 --> 00:03:38,302 of the Baroque era.
- 00:03:38,427 --> 00:03:41,805 Now children, Nancy Sinatra was quite a choice piece of ass...
- 00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:43,933 Hey, new kid, do you want an invitation
- 00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:46,685 to my birthday party? - Here begins the rule of pain.
- 00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:48,270 The new domination of-- - Psyche!
- 00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:49,939 I wasn't gonna give you an invitation.
- 00:03:51,649 --> 00:03:54,401 Hey, who cut your hair, Stevie Wonder?
- 00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:01,242 Whoa, dude! - Damn, what a freak!
- 00:04:01,367 --> 00:04:03,577 - Hey, I had a Poofy Pie in that desk!
- 00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:05,913 Now feel the wrath of the fallen angel.
- 00:04:06,038 --> 00:04:07,873 The plague of blight is upon thee.
- 00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:10,876 Damien, do you need to sit in time out for a few minutes?
- 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,587 Heh. ♪ You got in trouble ♪
- 00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:15,381 ♪ You got in trouble ♪
- 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,759 Hey, Cartman, how come the birthday invitation
- 00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:20,636 you gave me says, "Green Mega Man"?
- 00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,429 Yeah, mine says, "Red Mega Man".
- 00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:24,098 Right, that's what you're supposed to get me
- 00:04:24,223 --> 00:04:26,141 for my birthday. - Dude...
- 00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:27,768 You're not supposed to tell people what to get you
- 00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:29,561 for your birthday. - Yeah, that's weak.
- 00:04:29,687 --> 00:04:31,105 Look, it's very simple, guys.
- 00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:32,982 Green Mega Man goes with Red Mega Man
- 00:04:33,107 --> 00:04:35,693 and Yellow Mega Man to make the Ultra Mega Mega Man.
- 00:04:35,818 --> 00:04:37,945 You have to have all three or it doesn't work, see?
- 00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:40,155 Up yours, Cartman, I'll get you whatever the hell I want.
- 00:04:40,281 --> 00:04:43,117 Oh, so maybe you don't want to have any of my mom's
- 00:04:43,242 --> 00:04:44,702 cake pan ice cream, then.
- 00:04:44,827 --> 00:04:46,578 Oh, Green Mega Man it is.
- 00:04:46,704 --> 00:04:48,205 Now as you can see Kenny,
- 00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:50,457 you are to get me Yellow Mega Man.
- 00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:52,710 That's because Yellow Mega Man is the cheapest one,
- 00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:55,546 and I know how poor your family is.
- 00:04:55,671 --> 00:04:57,423 Hey, what you think you're doing, new kid?
- 00:04:57,548 --> 00:04:59,341 Yeah you can't sit with us, weirdo.
- 00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:02,177 Infidels! I will turn you all into beasts of burden!
- 00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:03,637 You can't sit us with us new kid.
- 00:05:03,762 --> 00:05:05,806 Go find another table.
- 00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:08,767 Any way Kenny, Yellow Mega Man is only 8.95.
- 00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:10,477 So maybe your mom can put it on layaway
- 00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:11,937 and make payments for a year or two.
- 00:05:15,149 --> 00:05:17,359 Hey! Oh, good day, Damien.
- 00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,403 My name is Phillip, but everyone calls me "Pip",
- 00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:21,530 because they hate me! - Then I will call you Pip.
- 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:24,158 Right-o. - Hey, new kid.
- 00:05:24,283 --> 00:05:26,869 Kenny says he saw your mom drop you off this morning,
- 00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:30,039 and she's a real dog.
- 00:05:30,164 --> 00:05:31,915 That does it! Woof-ah!
- 00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:38,213 What the-- - Dude, he turned Kenny
- 00:05:38,339 --> 00:05:39,548 into a duck-billed platypus!
- 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,300 A what?
- 00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:43,635 Hey, turn him back, you butthole.
- 00:05:43,761 --> 00:05:45,471 He has to buy me the Yellow Mega Man.
- 00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:46,889 Hello there, children.
- 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:48,390 Hey, Chef. - How's it going?
- 00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:49,975 Bad. - Why bad?
- 00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:51,310 Chef, there's a new kid in school
- 00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:53,062 and he's a total weirdo freak.
- 00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:54,855 Oh, children, children.
- 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,523 You shouldn't not like somebody
- 00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,275 just because they're different.
- 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,944 Here let me sing you a little song.
- 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:05,366 ♪ We're all special in our own way ♪
- 00:06:05,491 --> 00:06:07,910 ♪ Everybody's different but that's okay ♪
- 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:11,372 ♪ 'Cause even though we might have different color skin ♪
- 00:06:11,497 --> 00:06:14,083 ♪ Different points of views, be tall or thin ♪
- 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:17,586 ♪ It doesn't mean I can't lay you down, woman ♪
- 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:20,964 ♪ And touch your silky skin ♪
- 00:06:21,090 --> 00:06:22,883 ♪ Put my love deep inside you ♪
- 00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:26,095 ♪ Where no man has ever been ♪
- 00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:27,638 ♪ Rub your legs ♪
- 00:06:27,763 --> 00:06:30,724 ♪ Caress your thighs, and-- ♪
- 00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:33,227 What were we talking about again?
- 00:06:33,352 --> 00:06:35,145 The new kid. - Death to the holy.
- 00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:38,565 The wrath of the fallen angels now waits for you all!
- 00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:40,150 Whoa!
- 00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:43,070 Oh, that is one fudged-up little cracker.
- 00:06:43,195 --> 00:06:44,446 We told you, dude.
- 00:06:46,949 --> 00:06:48,992 We've got to do something, children!
- 00:06:49,118 --> 00:06:51,787 He's tearing my cafeteria apart.
- 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,539 Bring me Jesus!
- 00:06:53,664 --> 00:06:57,501 My wrath shall continue until I speak with Jesus!
- 00:06:57,626 --> 00:06:59,002 Jesus?
- 00:06:59,962 --> 00:07:01,171 Two minutes to air, Jesus.
- 00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:02,756 Thanks Roland, blessed art thou.
- 00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,466 Jesus, Jesus! - Hi kids.
- 00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:06,009 I only do autographs after the show.
- 00:07:06,135 --> 00:07:08,011 No, no, there's a big problem at school.
- 00:07:08,137 --> 00:07:09,888 Some new kid showed up wearing all black.
- 00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:11,640 And Chef thinks he's evil.
- 00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,267 Yeah, look what he did to our friend Kenny.
- 00:07:13,392 --> 00:07:16,228 Wow, that's pretty heavy.
- 00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:18,021 This new kid, he just keeps throwing things around,
- 00:07:18,147 --> 00:07:20,107 and saying stuff about his "Dark Prince" father coming.
- 00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:21,525 He says he wants to talk to you.
- 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,694 - The Dark Prince? - Yeah.
- 00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:26,113 So it was written. And so the cycle of years
- 00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:28,031 brings the son of the evil one.
- 00:07:28,157 --> 00:07:29,825 Oh brother, now he's talking like the new kid.
- 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,035 Thou must taketh me to the seedling of Satan
- 00:07:32,161 --> 00:07:34,872 so mine eyes can confirm the wretched truth.
- 00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:37,666 'Kay.
- 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,460 Five minutes
- 00:07:39,585 --> 00:07:43,338 until recess is over, you little bastards.
- 00:07:43,464 --> 00:07:44,965 Now, as you can see
- 00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:47,926 the Red Mega Man uses the Mega Cycle,
- 00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:50,637 which is what Clyde will be getting me for my birthday.
- 00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:52,306 Wendy, you were supposed to get me
- 00:07:52,431 --> 00:07:55,225 the Mega Power Chopper, illustrated here.
- 00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:58,020 But I'm changing your present to the Yellow Mega Man,
- 00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:01,440 since Kenny has been turned into a duck-billed platypus.
- 00:08:01,565 --> 00:08:05,194 That means that the Mega Man Beach House illustrated here,
- 00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:07,446 will be a gift given by two people at once
- 00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:08,906 since it costs more money.
- 00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:11,283 Our slide!
- 00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:14,286 Feel my wrath!
- 00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:16,121 Oh, dear, you shouldn't be so upset, Damien.
- 00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:17,581 I know it's hard being the new kid,
- 00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:19,541 but the children may accept you some day.
- 00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:22,169 I don't need acceptance I'm the son of Satan.
- 00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:24,463 Believe me, I know what it's like not to have friends.
- 00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:26,048 Perhaps you should speak to the school counselor.
- 00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,758 He helps me a lot when I'm feeling lonely.
- 00:08:27,883 --> 00:08:29,051 Damien!
- 00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:31,011 Aah, son of stench.
- 00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:32,387 Cursed ruler of the weak.
- 00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:35,057 So it is thou. Son of Lucifer!
- 00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:37,059 Your time on this earth is short.
- 00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:38,602 Soon, my father comes.
- 00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:41,063 Let him come, then. I shall stop him.
- 00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:43,482 Behold, he is already upon us.
- 00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:46,610 Oh dude!
- 00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,703 What the hell's going on here?
- 00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:59,081 Look it's that guy from the public access show.
- 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:00,541 What's happening?
- 00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:02,334 Come over here if you're scared, women.
- 00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:04,002 I'll protect you.
- 00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:05,420 Not you, damn it!
- 00:09:08,799 --> 00:09:11,552 Jesus, my father says he chooses you.
- 00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:12,844 He calls you out.
- 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:14,805 Be here at this time tomorrow.
- 00:09:14,930 --> 00:09:16,431 There the terms will be discussed.
- 00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:18,392 Very well. Let the final battle
- 00:09:18,517 --> 00:09:20,143 between good and evil be fought,
- 00:09:20,269 --> 00:09:22,145 right here in South Park!
- 00:09:22,271 --> 00:09:24,648 C'mon Ned, we gotta get our asses to the bookie!
- 00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:26,400 You're gonna fight Satan?
- 00:09:26,525 --> 00:09:28,819 This fight has been ordained since the beginning.
- 00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:32,281 My children, this is most crucial and serious time
- 00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:33,865 of all history.
- 00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:36,702 <i>Who will win our souls?</i>
- 00:09:36,827 --> 00:09:38,537 <i>Our savior and lord... - Or the Prince of Darkness?</i>
- 00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:39,997 <i>It's the final battle between good and evil.</i>
- 00:09:40,122 --> 00:09:41,790 <i>And it's only on pay-per-view.</i>
- 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,625 <i>Jesus vs. Satan</i>
- 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,252 <i>Live from the South Park Forum on Saturday!</i>
- 00:09:45,377 --> 00:09:48,463 <i>Call now to order. Only $49.95.</i>
- 00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:50,966 Hey, wait a minute. Saturday is my birthday party!
- 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,509 They can't have the fight on Saturday!
- 00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:53,969 I don't know
- 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,679 what to do, dude. Do we go to the fight
- 00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:57,931 or Cartman's birthday? - Cartman's birthday.
- 00:09:58,056 --> 00:09:59,558 We can't miss the final apocalyptic battle
- 00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,393 between good and evil. - You guys,
- 00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,145 my mom's getting a Ferris wheel.
- 00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:05,939 Well, c'mon we have to at least see the weigh-in.
- 00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:07,316 Who the hell decided the fight
- 00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:09,109 had to be on Saturday, huh?
- 00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:10,777 This whole thing is a plot against me, isn't it?
- 00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:16,533 When is Satan gonna show up?
- 00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:18,493 Did the devil show up yet? - Not yet.
- 00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:20,412 Hey Jesus, if you win the fight
- 00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:22,998 can you turn Kenny back to normal?
- 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,958 What the hell do you mean "if" I win the fight?
- 00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,960 Don't mind him, Jesus. He's Jewish.
- 00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:28,795 Oh. - We're all with you Jesus.
- 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:31,798 We put every dime we have on you beating that Dark Prince.
- 00:10:31,923 --> 00:10:34,051 Thank you for your faith,
- 00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:35,844 but I think perhaps you don't understand
- 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,346 the severity of the situation.
- 00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:39,848 You're gonna kick his ass, Jesus.
- 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:46,480 Behold, the evil one approaches.
- 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:52,527 Holy poop-on-a-stick!
- 00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:54,905 Puny son of Jehovah.
- 00:10:55,030 --> 00:10:58,992 Prepare to enter thy house of pain.
- 00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:03,038 Holy crap, dude. Satan is huge!
- 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,999 Now that is a man who has eaten a lot of beef.
- 00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:07,751 Son of God,
- 00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:11,338 I will smash thy face into small little bits.
- 00:11:11,463 --> 00:11:13,507 Oh...oh, yeah? - Damn.
- 00:11:13,632 --> 00:11:15,884 I have such delightful horrors
- 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,595 to unleash upon thee.
- 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,097 Oh, yeah?
- 00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:24,476 Satan weighs in at...
- 00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:27,896 320 pounds, 4 ounces.
- 00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:33,485 Jesus Christ weighs in at...
- 00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:36,113 135 pounds, 1 ounce.
- 00:11:36,238 --> 00:11:38,448 Oh, crap.
- 00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:40,283 Ah, c'mon, I weigh more than that!
- 00:11:40,409 --> 00:11:43,870 Let the new prince be decided on Saturday.
- 00:11:43,995 --> 00:11:47,457 First South Park, then the world.
- 00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:52,379 Well, I think I'll...
- 00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:54,089 I think I left the oven on.
- 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:57,968 Yeah, I think I left your oven on, too.
- 00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:02,723 See you Saturday, Jesus. Good luck.
- 00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:06,643 Change my bet! - Put my money on the devil!
- 00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:08,437 I want to change my bet to Satan.
- 00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:10,856 Me too. - Hey, wait. I was here first.
- 00:12:10,981 --> 00:12:13,442 Now, as your counselor,
- 00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:17,279 I want you to feel like you can tell me anything, m'kay?
- 00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:19,197 Being the new kid can be tough,
- 00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:22,617 but I'm your friend, m'kay? - Everybody hates me.
- 00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:26,079 Well why do you suppose that is?
- 00:12:26,204 --> 00:12:27,622 Because I'm the son of the devil?
- 00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:30,292 Uh-huh, that's a good start. Why else?
- 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,544 Because I burn them and kill them?
- 00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,463 Well, yeah, maybe that's it.
- 00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:36,923 What you need to do, Damien
- 00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:39,009 is to be overly nice.
- 00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:42,137 No matter how mean the other kids are to you,
- 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,889 just don't retaliate.
- 00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:45,682 Be passive, m'kay.
- 00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:47,684 That's what I taught the little British boy, Pip,
- 00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:51,104 and just look at how much the other children like him now.
- 00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:53,607 I bet I can spit the most on him.
- 00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:56,651 Oh yeah, I bet I can spit in his hair.
- 00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:59,362 Nice try, a little higher and you've got it.
- 00:12:59,488 --> 00:13:02,115 Man, recess sucks without any slides or nothing.
- 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,409 Oh, here comes the unholy butthole now.
- 00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:06,077 Hey, thanks a lot
- 00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:07,996 for burning everything down, you little bitch.
- 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:10,373 I apologize for ruining your playground
- 00:13:10,499 --> 00:13:13,001 and turning your friend into a duck-billed platypus.
- 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,503 I was doing my father's bidding.
- 00:13:14,628 --> 00:13:16,171 I didn't have a choice.
- 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:19,633 Oh, excuse me, new kid
- 00:13:19,758 --> 00:13:22,928 I didn't mean to fart on you I didn't have a choice.
- 00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:25,639 Hoo, you stink, new kid. You smell like a fart.
- 00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:28,016 Yeah, we're gonna call you Fartboy from now on.
- 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,851 Bye-bye, Fartboy. - See ya.
- 00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:31,645 Good day. How are you, Damien?
- 00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:33,563 Those guys farted on me and then called me--
- 00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:35,065 Fartboy? Oh, good.
- 00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:36,775 Perhaps they won't call me that anymore.
- 00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:44,324 Excuse me...
- 00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:46,535 I just talked to the bookie at the sports betting bar.
- 00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:48,662 Uh-oh.
- 00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:51,331 I have been forsaken! It seems that several bets
- 00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:53,708 were changed to Satan this morning.
- 00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:56,378 In fact it seems that only one person
- 00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:58,797 in this entire town is still betting on me.
- 00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:01,383 You should all be ashamed of yourselves.
- 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,301 Betting against your lord and savior.
- 00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:04,928 I am disgusted!
- 00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:06,721 Your bet was changed as well.
- 00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:08,139 You forsaked me too.
- 00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:10,392 Oh. Right, well...
- 00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,561 he does have a couple hundred pounds on you, Jesus.
- 00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:15,146 I implore you all, don't bet on the Dark One.
- 00:14:15,272 --> 00:14:16,815 It is a bet that you will never win.
- 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:19,442 Jesus, I am sorry I have sinned against you.
- 00:14:19,568 --> 00:14:21,278 I'm gonna march right over to that bookie
- 00:14:21,403 --> 00:14:22,737 and change my bet right now.
- 00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:24,823 Oh, yeah, yeah me too. Me too.
- 00:14:24,948 --> 00:14:27,284 Yeah. - Praise the Lord!
- 00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:30,871 Thank you sweet Jesus for showing us the light!
- 00:14:30,996 --> 00:14:33,123 See you later.
- 00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:36,668 What the hell does he think, we're all crazy?
- 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,170 Yeah, crazy.
- 00:14:39,296 --> 00:14:41,756 This show's gay. - Yeah.
- 00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:43,925 You're all a bunch of Judases.
- 00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:45,510 Hey Jesus.
- 00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:47,137 What are you doing out so late, kids?
- 00:14:47,262 --> 00:14:48,680 We have to find Red and Green Mega Mans
- 00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:50,432 for Cartman's birthday party. - Oh.
- 00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:53,518 Kids, you believe I can beat Satan, right?
- 00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:55,228 Sure, dude. You're the son of god!
- 00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:57,188 Yeah. You aren't having any doubts, are you?
- 00:14:57,314 --> 00:14:58,690 N-no, no.
- 00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:01,610 But could you help me train a little?
- 00:15:02,611 --> 00:15:05,530 Satan, what do expect the outcome of the fight to be?
- 00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:08,867 I will crush him like a little bug.
- 00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:11,161 Satan, what about the rumors of your involvement
- 00:15:11,286 --> 00:15:13,830 in the Gulf War?
- 00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:15,790 Let's focus on the fight, can we please?
- 00:15:15,916 --> 00:15:18,501 I'm so sick of people talking smack about my fighters.
- 00:15:18,627 --> 00:15:20,670 All this, "He's mean", "He's a dirty fighter",
- 00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:22,339 "He's the cause for all the violence and death
- 00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:24,174 in the world." It's just getting old.
- 00:15:24,299 --> 00:15:27,469 Let's just let everything be decided in the ring.
- 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,346 You guys, shouldn't you be out shopping
- 00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:31,181 for my birthday presents? - Here, Jesus,
- 00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:33,433 drink these raw eggs. - No way, dude.
- 00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:35,310 I-I can't.
- 00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,895 I can't hit Jesus Christ.
- 00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:39,230 My mother would never speak to me again.
- 00:15:39,356 --> 00:15:40,774 But you're his sparing partner, Chef.
- 00:15:40,899 --> 00:15:42,067 Yeah, you have to hit him.
- 00:15:42,192 --> 00:15:43,818 Satan must be defeated, Chef.
- 00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:46,613 Please help me to train. - Okay...
- 00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:48,949 But I'm just gonna tap you, all right?
- 00:15:49,074 --> 00:15:50,408 Give it your best shot--oh!
- 00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:53,370 Oh, God in heaven. What have I done?
- 00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:55,914 Anybody get the number of that truck?
- 00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:04,506 C'mon kiddies, eat more.
- 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,092 Welcome, Clyde. Please put your present
- 00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:08,718 on the table to your left.
- 00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:11,346 Welcome, Debbie. Presents go to your left.
- 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:12,597 Welcome, Chef. - Yep.
- 00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,307 Here's your present, children.
- 00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:16,810 Well, nice party. See you later.
- 00:16:16,935 --> 00:16:18,353 Hey, you just got here, Chef.
- 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,563 I know, but the fight is starting.
- 00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:23,316 But, dude, check it out. Cartman's mom made chili.
- 00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:25,527 Mm. - Mmm.
- 00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:27,862 That's my favorite kind of chili.
- 00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:30,448 I guess all the kids are at that fat boy's birthday party.
- 00:16:30,573 --> 00:16:32,283 Yes. It's always such a huge event.
- 00:16:32,409 --> 00:16:33,910 Sometimes I like to sneak up to the fence
- 00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:36,037 and close my eyes and pretend I'm there.
- 00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:37,706 The other kids have always hated you?
- 00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:39,666 Oh, yes. Actually, I think they make fun
- 00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:41,793 of the fat boy a lot too. But now I think they like him
- 00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:43,211 because he picks on me.
- 00:16:46,881 --> 00:16:49,009 In the blue corner, wearing white trunks,
- 00:16:49,134 --> 00:16:52,554 weighing in at a mere 140 pounds,
- 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:53,847 Jesús
- 00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:55,932 "El Savior"
- 00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:57,934 Christ.
- 00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:02,772 And in the very, very, black corner
- 00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:05,191 wearing very, very black trunks.
- 00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:07,861 The king of all that is evil...
- 00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:11,406 Beelzebub!
- 00:17:16,411 --> 00:17:18,288 Ladies and gentlemen,
- 00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:23,668 let's get ready to rumble!
- 00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:25,587 Okay, I want a good, clean fight, guys.
- 00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:28,423 No punches below the belt, holding, or miracles.
- 00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:35,013 Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing here?
- 00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:37,015 Yeah you aren't invited, new kid.
- 00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:39,184 And neither are you, Pip. - Yes, I tried to tell Damien
- 00:17:39,309 --> 00:17:40,685 that we weren't invited, but-- - Wait a minute.
- 00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:42,270 Give me a chance!
- 00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:44,606 I want to do something special for your party!
- 00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:52,655 Oh, no!
- 00:17:55,784 --> 00:17:57,619 Wow. - Whoa, that was cool.
- 00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:00,455 Hey, you're not such a bad guy,
- 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:01,998 after all, Damien. - Yeah.
- 00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:04,501 Come on in and join the party.
- 00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,171 Oh!
- 00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:12,717 Oh!
- 00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:18,890 C'mon you little wuss, fight!
- 00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:20,767 Throw a punch.
- 00:18:20,892 --> 00:18:24,479 Oh, I wonder what Stan got me for my birthday present.
- 00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:28,233 Oh, look a Blue Mega Man! Thank you, Stan.
- 00:18:28,358 --> 00:18:31,277 You may eat pie and cake and ice cream now.
- 00:18:31,402 --> 00:18:32,862 And what did Wendy get me?
- 00:18:32,987 --> 00:18:35,657 Oh, it's the Yellow Mega Man!
- 00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:38,159 Help yourself to pie, cake, and ice cream, Wendy.
- 00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,036 Oh, look what Kyle got me.
- 00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:41,663 It's a Red Mega--
- 00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:43,748 Ants in the Pants? Ants in the pan--
- 00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:45,166 Ants in the pants!
- 00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:46,584 It's game, dude. It's really fun!
- 00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:48,878 You son of a bitch! - Ah!
- 00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:51,005 You were supposed to get me the Red Mega Man!
- 00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:53,049 Now I can't make Ultra Mega Mega Man!
- 00:18:53,174 --> 00:18:54,968 You dirty, cheap-ass, piece of crap.
- 00:18:55,093 --> 00:18:56,427 They were all out of 'em, dude!
- 00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:58,930 I hate you! I want you to die!
- 00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,306 Die!
- 00:19:00,431 --> 00:19:02,225 That's it! Party is over!
- 00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:04,060 Everybody go home!
- 00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:09,983 Get the hell out I said!
- 00:19:10,108 --> 00:19:12,694 Party's over! Get out God damn it!
- 00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:14,279 Whoa, dude, you need to mellow out.
- 00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:16,781 Take your stupid Ants in the Pants with you!
- 00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:19,325 Wow, that kid has some real emotional problems.
- 00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:20,785 Ah, he does this all the time.
- 00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:22,620 C'mon children, we can still catch
- 00:19:22,745 --> 00:19:25,123 the end of the fight.
- 00:19:26,583 --> 00:19:28,710 Oh, what a splendid party!
- 00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:32,672 Oh!
- 00:19:32,797 --> 00:19:34,465 Fight, damn it.
- 00:19:37,594 --> 00:19:39,846 Ow!
- 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,558 Dude, Jesus is getting his butt kicked.
- 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:46,269 You've got to fight, Jesus.
- 00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:47,896 Why, what's the point?
- 00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:49,230 No one believes in me.
- 00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:50,940 Everyone put their money on Satan.
- 00:19:51,065 --> 00:19:53,401 My father forsaked me, the town forsaked me.
- 00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,195 I'm completely forsook.
- 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,113 Somebody bet on you, Jesus. You said yourself
- 00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:58,907 that one person still has money on you.
- 00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:00,533 It doesn't matter. He's way too strong
- 00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:02,118 for me anyway I give up.
- 00:20:02,243 --> 00:20:03,912 God damn it, Jesus, snap out of it!
- 00:20:04,037 --> 00:20:05,496 What would Nancy Kerrigan do, huh?
- 00:20:05,622 --> 00:20:06,998 Nancy Kerrigan wouldn't give up.
- 00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:08,583 When things were looking their darkest
- 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,168 Nancy Kerrigan fought to be the best.
- 00:20:10,293 --> 00:20:12,086 She wouldn't stop until she was number one.
- 00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:13,546 Uh, Stan. - Nancy Kerrigan wouldn't
- 00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:15,340 settle for second best. - Stan.
- 00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:16,633 She wouldn't quit until she brought home the gold.
- 00:20:16,758 --> 00:20:18,134 Stan! - What?
- 00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:19,677 Nancy Kerrigan got the silver, dude.
- 00:20:19,802 --> 00:20:21,638 She came in second.
- 00:20:22,764 --> 00:20:24,307 Really? - Yeah, dude.
- 00:20:24,432 --> 00:20:26,476 Oh, never mind, Jesus. Nancy Kerrigan sucks.
- 00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:29,812 You know, somebody once said,
- 00:20:29,938 --> 00:20:33,149 "Don't try to be a great man. Just be a man."
- 00:20:33,274 --> 00:20:35,944 Who said that? - You did, Jesus.
- 00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:40,740 You're right, Stan.
- 00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:42,200 Thank you, boys.
- 00:20:44,786 --> 00:20:46,204 Wow, did he say that in the Bible?
- 00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:48,289 No, I saw it on "Star Trek." - Hmm.
- 00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:52,877 C'mon, sissy, hit me! Hit me.
- 00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:55,713 Okay, pal, you asked for it.
- 00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:04,472 Oh, you got me.
- 00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:06,891 One, two, three...
- 00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:09,394 No way! He barely touched him.
- 00:21:09,519 --> 00:21:11,271 Seven, eight... - Aww, come on!
- 00:21:11,396 --> 00:21:12,689 Nine, ten. - This is ridiculous.
- 00:21:12,814 --> 00:21:13,815 You're out!
- 00:21:15,817 --> 00:21:18,236 Our savior! - The winner by knockout
- 00:21:18,361 --> 00:21:22,699 and still undisputed ruler of your spiritual kingdom.
- 00:21:22,824 --> 00:21:24,450 Jesús
- 00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:27,120 "El Savior"
- 00:21:27,245 --> 00:21:28,830 Christ.
- 00:21:30,540 --> 00:21:32,792 Hey, he isn't hurt. He took a dive.
- 00:21:32,917 --> 00:21:34,752 He threw the fight. - Yeah!
- 00:21:34,877 --> 00:21:37,213 Fools. You are all fools.
- 00:21:37,338 --> 00:21:39,048 Of course I took a dive.
- 00:21:39,173 --> 00:21:40,925 Don't you see? Who do you think was
- 00:21:41,050 --> 00:21:44,595 the one person that bet on Jesus to win?
- 00:21:46,389 --> 00:21:48,099 Me, you idiots.
- 00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:50,643 And now I will take all your hard-earned money,
- 00:21:50,768 --> 00:21:53,479 and return to hell a much richer Prince of Darkness
- 00:21:53,604 --> 00:21:56,357 and buy some real estate. Ha, ha,ha, ha!
- 00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:57,859 I don't believe this!
- 00:21:57,984 --> 00:22:00,028 Yeah. What a mean thing to do.
- 00:22:00,153 --> 00:22:01,904 Farewell, fools.
- 00:22:02,030 --> 00:22:05,575 Man, that guy is a jerk.
- 00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,618 Jesus told you guys not to bet on Satan.
- 00:22:07,744 --> 00:22:09,662 Boy, did we get screwed.
- 00:22:09,787 --> 00:22:11,622 Jesus, we're sorry.
- 00:22:11,748 --> 00:22:14,709 Can you ever forgive us?
- 00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:17,295 Aw, heck, do I have a choice?
- 00:22:19,339 --> 00:22:21,799 Well Jesus, I definitely learned my lesson.
- 00:22:21,924 --> 00:22:24,385 Never bet on evil because when you do--
- 00:22:24,510 --> 00:22:25,928 Ned, look!
- 00:22:26,054 --> 00:22:28,014 There's a rare duck-billed platypus!
- 00:22:28,139 --> 00:22:29,766 It's coming right for us!
- 00:22:32,143 --> 00:22:34,062 Oh, my God. They killed Kenny.
- 00:22:34,187 --> 00:22:35,563 You bastard!
- 00:22:35,688 --> 00:22:37,231 Well, good-bye, guys.
- 00:22:37,357 --> 00:22:38,733 It was nice getting to know you.
- 00:22:38,858 --> 00:22:40,818 You're leaving already? - I have to.
- 00:22:40,943 --> 00:22:43,488 My dad is always on the move. - Wow.
- 00:22:43,613 --> 00:22:45,114 I feel kind of bad for that kid.
- 00:22:45,239 --> 00:22:46,574 Yeah, just when he was being accepted
- 00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:48,242 he has to leave and start over.
- 00:22:48,368 --> 00:22:50,203 Parents can be so cruel. Don't they realize that
- 00:22:50,328 --> 00:22:52,872 what a child needs more than anything is security?
- 00:22:53,623 --> 00:22:55,083 More pie, hon?
- 00:22:57,251 --> 00:23:00,963 No...more...pie.
- 00:00:02,712 --> 00:00:05,131 [both laugh maniacally]
- 00:00:05,256 --> 00:00:06,632 That was a hoot and a holler.
- 00:00:06,757 --> 00:00:08,217 Did you like that "South Park"-ateers?
- 00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:09,593 <i>children: You bet!</i> - That sure was
- 00:00:09,719 --> 00:00:11,178 a good episode, wasn't it?
- 00:00:11,303 --> 00:00:13,097 But this next episode is our favorite episode.
- 00:00:13,222 --> 00:00:14,557 It's called "Damien" and it's about
- 00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:16,392 the ultimate fight between good and evil.
- 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,394 But more than that, it's about being the new kid in school.
- 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,354 That's right, "South Park"-ateers.
- 00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:23,024 You know, being the new kid in school sure can be hard.
- 00:00:23,149 --> 00:00:24,817 Matt and I know from first-hand experience
- 00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:26,402 because, well, we used to beat
- 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:28,112 the crap out of the new kids all the time.
- 00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:30,656 And because the episode has Jesus and Satan in it,
- 00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:32,366 well, we received a lot of complaints
- 00:00:32,491 --> 00:00:34,535 from religious organizations from around the country.
- 00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:37,413 They said we were being blasphemous and sacrilegious.
- 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:40,958 To which we say, well, you're all a bunch of [bleep]
- 00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:45,504 Christian [bleep]-heads.
- 00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:47,923 Wow, you said a mouthful there.
- 00:00:48,049 --> 00:00:50,968 Oh, hey, gang, it's our friend Indian companion.
- 00:00:51,093 --> 00:00:53,304 Someone coming.
- 00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:56,640 We don't care.
- 00:00:56,766 --> 00:00:58,017 We don't care that someone's coming.
- 00:00:58,142 --> 00:00:59,810 Can't you say something else?
- 00:00:59,935 --> 00:01:01,854 It's always "Someone coming," "Someone coming."
- 00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:03,230 We don't care. We--I hope someone comes.
- 00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:04,899 We like people.
- 00:01:05,024 --> 00:01:07,151 Kids, let's all tell Indian companion to go away.
- 00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:10,279 <i>children: Go away, Indian companion!</i>
- 00:01:11,614 --> 00:01:13,282 Well, now why don't we all sit back
- 00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:16,035 and get a little rowdy and watch "Damien."
- 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:18,662 Yee-haw!
- 00:01:18,788 --> 00:01:20,539 [popping] <i>children: Hooray!</i>
- 00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:30,299 <i>[twangy music]</i>
- 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,801 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:01:31,926 --> 00:01:33,719 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:35,471 all: ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:37,014 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:38,474 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
- 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,309 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,019 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:43,521 ♪ People spouting: "Howdy neighbor!" ♪
- 00:01:43,646 --> 00:01:45,022 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
- 00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:46,774 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:01:46,899 --> 00:01:49,944 [singing indistinctly]
- 00:01:50,069 --> 00:01:51,445 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:53,656 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,992 [humming] Here you go, Kyle.
- 00:01:57,118 --> 00:01:59,620 And here's your, Stan. - What is this, Cartman?
- 00:01:59,745 --> 00:02:01,038 They're invitations to my birthday party
- 00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:02,873 this weekend. - Oh, sweet.
- 00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:04,834 Your mom's giving you a big party again this year?
- 00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:07,294 That's right. ♪ 'Cause it's my birthday ♪
- 00:02:07,419 --> 00:02:10,381 ♪ My b-b-b-birthday ♪♪♪ - Kick ass, dude.
- 00:02:10,506 --> 00:02:12,633 Cartman's mom throws the best birthday parties ever!
- 00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:14,844 That's right. - Yeah, if my mom could cook
- 00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:17,346 like Cartman's mom, I'd be a big, fat-ass too.
- 00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:18,889 That's ri--hey!
- 00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:20,766 Oh, Eric, I didn't get an invitation.
- 00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:22,518 Oh really?
- 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:25,396 Gosh, where could I have put Pip's invitation?
- 00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:27,648 Let's see... Pip's invitation,
- 00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:29,441 Pip's invitation...
- 00:02:29,567 --> 00:02:30,943 Oh, I remember.
- 00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:32,695 I shoved it up my ass!
- 00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,697 Yes, that's right, I wrote it out,
- 00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,365 put it in an envelope, sealed it,
- 00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,659 and then, bloop, shoved it right up my ass.
- 00:02:38,784 --> 00:02:40,119 Forever ruining any chance you had
- 00:02:40,244 --> 00:02:41,704 of coming to my birthday party.
- 00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,497 Sorry Pip, old chap.
- 00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:47,293 Here's yours Wendy and here's yours Clyde.
- 00:02:47,418 --> 00:02:50,212 Children, children, today is a very special day.
- 00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,256 No, my birthday isn't until Saturday.
- 00:02:52,381 --> 00:02:54,383 I'm not talking about your birthday, Eric.
- 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:57,178 We have a new student joining our class today.
- 00:02:57,303 --> 00:02:59,180 Ugh. - Now, some of you know
- 00:02:59,305 --> 00:03:01,056 what it's like to be the new kid in town.
- 00:03:01,182 --> 00:03:02,850 So I want you all to take special care
- 00:03:02,975 --> 00:03:04,602 to make him feel welcome.
- 00:03:04,727 --> 00:03:07,271 I want you all to meet our new classmate--
- 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:09,190 uh, what's your name again?
- 00:03:09,315 --> 00:03:12,318 Damien. <i>[scary chanting]</i>
- 00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:16,572 Say hi to Damien.
- 00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,407 And where are you from, Damien?
- 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:21,368 The seventh layer of hell. - Oh that's exciting.
- 00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:22,953 My mother was from Alabama.
- 00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:25,331 My arrival denotes end of the beginning.
- 00:03:25,456 --> 00:03:26,707 The beginning of the end.
- 00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:28,334 The new reign of my father.
- 00:03:28,459 --> 00:03:30,669 Your father? - The Prince of Darkness.
- 00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:32,838 Wow, we have royalty in our class.
- 00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:34,423 Why don't you take your seat, Damien.
- 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,217 We're gonna finish our lesson on great singers
- 00:03:36,342 --> 00:03:38,302 of the Baroque era.
- 00:03:38,427 --> 00:03:41,805 Now children, Nancy Sinatra was quite a choice piece of ass...
- 00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:43,933 Hey, new kid, do you want an invitation
- 00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:46,685 to my birthday party? - Here begins the rule of pain.
- 00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:48,270 The new domination of-- - Psyche!
- 00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:49,939 I wasn't gonna give you an invitation.
- 00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:51,523 [cackles]
- 00:03:51,649 --> 00:03:54,401 Hey, who cut your hair, Stevie Wonder?
- 00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:57,446 <i>[scary chanting]</i>
- 00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:59,031 [shouts]
- 00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:01,242 Whoa, dude! - Damn, what a freak!
- 00:04:01,367 --> 00:04:03,577 - Hey, I had a Poofy Pie in that desk!
- 00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:05,913 Now feel the wrath of the fallen angel.
- 00:04:06,038 --> 00:04:07,873 The plague of blight is upon thee.
- 00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:10,876 Damien, do you need to sit in time out for a few minutes?
- 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,587 Heh. ♪ You got in trouble ♪
- 00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:15,381 ♪ You got in trouble ♪
- 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,759 Hey, Cartman, how come the birthday invitation
- 00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:20,636 you gave me says, "Green Mega Man"?
- 00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,429 Yeah, mine says, "Red Mega Man".
- 00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:24,098 Right, that's what you're supposed to get me
- 00:04:24,223 --> 00:04:26,141 for my birthday. - Dude...[scoffs]
- 00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:27,768 You're not supposed to tell people what to get you
- 00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:29,561 for your birthday. - Yeah, that's weak.
- 00:04:29,687 --> 00:04:31,105 Look, it's very simple, guys.
- 00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:32,982 Green Mega Man goes with Red Mega Man
- 00:04:33,107 --> 00:04:35,693 and Yellow Mega Man to make the Ultra Mega Mega Man.
- 00:04:35,818 --> 00:04:37,945 You have to have all three or it doesn't work, see?
- 00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:40,155 Up yours, Cartman, I'll get you whatever the hell I want.
- 00:04:40,281 --> 00:04:43,117 Oh, so maybe you don't want to have any of my mom's
- 00:04:43,242 --> 00:04:44,702 cake pan ice cream, then.
- 00:04:44,827 --> 00:04:46,578 Oh, Green Mega Man it is.
- 00:04:46,704 --> 00:04:48,205 Now as you can see Kenny,
- 00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:50,457 you are to get me Yellow Mega Man.
- 00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:52,710 That's because Yellow Mega Man is the cheapest one,
- 00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:55,546 and I know how poor your family is.
- 00:04:55,671 --> 00:04:57,423 Hey, what you think you're doing, new kid?
- 00:04:57,548 --> 00:04:59,341 Yeah you can't sit with us, weirdo.
- 00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:02,177 Infidels! I will turn you all into beasts of burden!
- 00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:03,637 You can't sit us with us new kid.
- 00:05:03,762 --> 00:05:05,806 Go find another table. - [scoffs]
- 00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:08,767 Any way Kenny, Yellow Mega Man is only 8.95.
- 00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:10,477 So maybe your mom can put it on layaway
- 00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:11,937 and make payments for a year or two.
- 00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:15,024 [all laugh]
- 00:05:15,149 --> 00:05:17,359 Hey! Oh, good day, Damien.
- 00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,403 My name is Phillip, but everyone calls me "Pip",
- 00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:21,530 because they hate me! - Then I will call you Pip.
- 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:24,158 Right-o. - Hey, new kid.
- 00:05:24,283 --> 00:05:26,869 Kenny says he saw your mom drop you off this morning,
- 00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:30,039 and she's a real dog. - [mumbling]
- 00:05:30,164 --> 00:05:31,915 That does it! Woof-ah!
- 00:05:32,041 --> 00:05:35,085 <i>[scary chanting]</i>
- 00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:38,213 What the-- - Dude, he turned Kenny
- 00:05:38,339 --> 00:05:39,548 into a duck-billed platypus!
- 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,300 A what? - [quacks]
- 00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:43,635 Hey, turn him back, you butthole.
- 00:05:43,761 --> 00:05:45,471 He has to buy me the Yellow Mega Man.
- 00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:46,889 Hello there, children.
- 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:48,390 Hey, Chef. - How's it going?
- 00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:49,975 Bad. - Why bad?
- 00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:51,310 Chef, there's a new kid in school
- 00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:53,062 and he's a total weirdo freak.
- 00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:54,855 Oh, children, children.
- 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,523 You shouldn't not like somebody
- 00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,275 just because they're different.
- 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,944 Here let me sing you a little song.
- 00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:02,571 <i>[upbeat piano music]</i>
- 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:05,366 ♪ We're all special in our own way ♪
- 00:06:05,491 --> 00:06:07,910 ♪ Everybody's different but that's okay ♪
- 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:11,372 ♪ 'Cause even though we might have different color skin ♪
- 00:06:11,497 --> 00:06:14,083 ♪ Different points of views, be tall or thin ♪
- 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:17,586 ♪ It doesn't mean I can't lay you down, woman ♪
- 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:20,964 ♪ And touch your silky skin ♪
- 00:06:21,090 --> 00:06:22,883 ♪ Put my love deep inside you ♪
- 00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:26,095 ♪ Where no man has ever been ♪
- 00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:27,638 ♪ Rub your legs ♪
- 00:06:27,763 --> 00:06:30,724 ♪ Caress your thighs, and-- ♪
- 00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:33,227 What were we talking about again?
- 00:06:33,352 --> 00:06:35,145 The new kid. - Death to the holy.
- 00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:38,565 The wrath of the fallen angels now waits for you all!
- 00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:40,150 Whoa!
- 00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:43,070 Oh, that is one fudged-up little cracker.
- 00:06:43,195 --> 00:06:44,446 We told you, dude.
- 00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,824 [kids screaming]
- 00:06:46,949 --> 00:06:48,992 We've got to do something, children!
- 00:06:49,118 --> 00:06:51,787 He's tearing my cafeteria apart.
- 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,539 Bring me Jesus!
- 00:06:53,664 --> 00:06:57,501 My wrath shall continue until I speak with Jesus!
- 00:06:57,626 --> 00:06:59,002 both: Jesus?
- 00:06:59,962 --> 00:07:01,171 Two minutes to air, Jesus.
- 00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:02,756 Thanks Roland, blessed art thou.
- 00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,466 Jesus, Jesus! - Hi kids.
- 00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:06,009 I only do autographs after the show.
- 00:07:06,135 --> 00:07:08,011 No, no, there's a big problem at school.
- 00:07:08,137 --> 00:07:09,888 Some new kid showed up wearing all black.
- 00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:11,640 And Chef thinks he's evil.
- 00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,267 Yeah, look what he did to our friend Kenny.
- 00:07:13,392 --> 00:07:16,228 [quacks] - Wow, that's pretty heavy.
- 00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:18,021 This new kid, he just keeps throwing things around,
- 00:07:18,147 --> 00:07:20,107 and saying stuff about his "Dark Prince" father coming.
- 00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:21,525 He says he wants to talk to you.
- 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,694 The Dark Prince? both: Yeah.
- 00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:26,113 So it was written. And so the cycle of years
- 00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:28,031 brings the son of the evil one.
- 00:07:28,157 --> 00:07:29,825 Oh brother, now he's talking like the new kid.
- 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,035 Thou must taketh me to the seedling of Satan
- 00:07:32,161 --> 00:07:34,872 so mine eyes can confirm the wretched truth.
- 00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:37,666 'Kay.
- 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,460 [whistle blows] Five minutes
- 00:07:39,585 --> 00:07:43,338 until recess is over, you little bastards.
- 00:07:43,464 --> 00:07:44,965 Now, as you can see
- 00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:47,926 the Red Mega Man uses the Mega Cycle,
- 00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:50,637 which is what Clyde will be getting me for my birthday.
- 00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:52,306 Wendy, you were supposed to get me
- 00:07:52,431 --> 00:07:55,225 the Mega Power Chopper, illustrated here.
- 00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:58,020 But I'm changing your present to the Yellow Mega Man,
- 00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:01,440 since Kenny has been turned into a duck-billed platypus.
- 00:08:01,565 --> 00:08:05,194 That means that the Mega Man Beach House illustrated here,
- 00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:07,446 will be a gift given by two people at once
- 00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:08,906 since it costs more money. <i>[scary chanting]</i>
- 00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:11,283 [shouts] - Our slide!
- 00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:14,286 Feel my wrath! [both shout]
- 00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:16,121 Oh, dear, you shouldn't be so upset, Damien.
- 00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:17,581 I know it's hard being the new kid,
- 00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:19,541 but the children may accept you some day.
- 00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:22,169 I don't need acceptance I'm the son of Satan.
- 00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:24,463 Believe me, I know what it's like not to have friends.
- 00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:26,048 Perhaps you should speak to the school counselor.
- 00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,758 He helps me a lot when I'm feeling lonely.
- 00:08:27,883 --> 00:08:29,051 Damien!
- 00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:31,011 Aah, son of stench.
- 00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:32,387 Cursed ruler of the weak.
- 00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:35,057 So it is thou. Son of Lucifer!
- 00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:37,059 Your time on this earth is short.
- 00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:38,602 Soon, my father comes.
- 00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:41,063 Let him come, then. I shall stop him.
- 00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:43,482 Behold, he is already upon us.
- 00:08:43,607 --> 00:08:45,025 [lightning crackles]
- 00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:46,610 Oh dude!
- 00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:49,738 [evil voice speaking foreign language]
- 00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,703 What the hell's going on here?
- 00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:59,081 Look it's that guy from the public access show.
- 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:00,541 What's happening?
- 00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:02,334 Come over here if you're scared, women.
- 00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:04,002 I'll protect you.
- 00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:05,420 Not you, damn it!
- 00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:08,674 [evil voice continues]
- 00:09:08,799 --> 00:09:11,552 Jesus, my father says he chooses you.
- 00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:12,844 He calls you out.
- 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:14,805 Be here at this time tomorrow.
- 00:09:14,930 --> 00:09:16,431 There the terms will be discussed.
- 00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:18,392 Very well. Let the final battle
- 00:09:18,517 --> 00:09:20,143 between good and evil be fought,
- 00:09:20,269 --> 00:09:22,145 right here in South Park!
- 00:09:22,271 --> 00:09:24,648 C'mon Ned, we gotta get our asses to the bookie!
- 00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:26,400 You're gonna fight Satan?
- 00:09:26,525 --> 00:09:28,819 This fight has been ordained since the beginning.
- 00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:32,281 My children, this is most crucial and serious time
- 00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:33,865 of all history.
- 00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:36,702 <i>Who will win our souls?</i>
- 00:09:36,827 --> 00:09:38,537 <i>Our savior and lord... - Or the Prince of Darkness?</i>
- 00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:39,997 <i>It's the final battle between good and evil.</i>
- 00:09:40,122 --> 00:09:41,790 <i>And it's only on pay-per-view.</i>
- 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,625 <i>Jesus vs. Satan</i>
- 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,252 <i>Live from the South Park Forum on Saturday!</i>
- 00:09:45,377 --> 00:09:48,463 <i>Call now to order. Only $49.95.</i>
- 00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:50,966 Hey, wait a minute. Saturday is my birthday party!
- 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,509 They can't have the fight on Saturday!
- 00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:53,969 [quacks] - I don't know
- 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,679 what to do, dude. Do we go to the fight
- 00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:57,931 or Cartman's birthday? - Cartman's birthday.
- 00:09:58,056 --> 00:09:59,558 We can't miss the final apocalyptic battle
- 00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,393 between good and evil. - You guys,
- 00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,145 my mom's getting a Ferris wheel.
- 00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:05,939 Well, c'mon we have to at least see the weigh-in.
- 00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:07,316 Who the hell decided the fight
- 00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:09,109 had to be on Saturday, huh?
- 00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:10,777 This whole thing is a plot against me, isn't it?
- 00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:16,533 When is Satan gonna show up?
- 00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:18,493 Did the devil show up yet? - Not yet.
- 00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:20,412 Hey Jesus, if you win the fight
- 00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:22,998 can you turn Kenny back to normal?
- 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,958 What the hell do you mean "if" I win the fight?
- 00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,960 Don't mind him, Jesus. He's Jewish.
- 00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:28,795 Oh. - We're all with you Jesus.
- 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:31,798 We put every dime we have on you beating that Dark Prince.
- 00:10:31,923 --> 00:10:34,051 [applause] Thank you for your faith,
- 00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:35,844 but I think perhaps you don't understand
- 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,346 the severity of the situation.
- 00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:39,848 You're gonna kick his ass, Jesus.
- 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,558 [cheers and applause]
- 00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:43,685 <i>[scary chanting]</i>
- 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:46,480 Behold, the evil one approaches.
- 00:10:46,605 --> 00:10:49,191 [growls]
- 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:52,527 [crowd gasp] Holy poop-on-a-stick!
- 00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:54,905 Puny son of Jehovah.
- 00:10:55,030 --> 00:10:58,992 Prepare to enter thy house of pain.
- 00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:03,038 Holy crap, dude. Satan is huge!
- 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,999 Now that is a man who has eaten a lot of beef.
- 00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:07,751 Son of God,
- 00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:11,338 I will smash thy face into small little bits.
- 00:11:11,463 --> 00:11:13,507 Oh...oh, yeah? - Damn.
- 00:11:13,632 --> 00:11:15,884 I have such delightful horrors
- 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,595 to unleash upon thee.
- 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,097 Oh, yeah?
- 00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:24,476 Satan weighs in at...
- 00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:27,896 320 pounds, 4 ounces.
- 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,649 [crowd gasps]
- 00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:33,485 Jesus Christ weighs in at...
- 00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:36,113 135 pounds, 1 ounce.
- 00:11:36,238 --> 00:11:38,448 [crowd groans] Oh, crap.
- 00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:40,283 Ah, c'mon, I weigh more than that!
- 00:11:40,409 --> 00:11:43,870 Let the new prince be decided on Saturday.
- 00:11:43,995 --> 00:11:47,457 First South Park, then the world.
- 00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:52,379 Well, I think I'll...
- 00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:54,089 I think I left the oven on.
- 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:57,968 Yeah, I think I left your oven on, too.
- 00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:02,723 See you Saturday, Jesus. Good luck.
- 00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:06,643 Change my bet! - Put my money on the devil!
- 00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:08,437 I want to change my bet to Satan.
- 00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:10,856 Me too. - Hey, wait. I was here first.
- 00:12:10,981 --> 00:12:13,442 Now, as your counselor,
- 00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:17,279 I want you to feel like you can tell me anything, m'kay?
- 00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:19,197 Being the new kid can be tough,
- 00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:22,617 but I'm your friend, m'kay? - Everybody hates me.
- 00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:26,079 Well why do you suppose that is?
- 00:12:26,204 --> 00:12:27,622 Because I'm the son of the devil?
- 00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:30,292 Uh-huh, that's a good start. Why else?
- 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,544 Because I burn them and kill them?
- 00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,463 Well, yeah, maybe that's it.
- 00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:36,923 What you need to do, Damien
- 00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:39,009 is to be overly nice.
- 00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:42,137 No matter how mean the other kids are to you,
- 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,889 just don't retaliate.
- 00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:45,682 Be passive, m'kay.
- 00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:47,684 That's what I taught the little British boy, Pip,
- 00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:51,104 and just look at how much the other children like him now.
- 00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:53,607 I bet I can spit the most on him.
- 00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:56,651 Oh yeah, I bet I can spit in his hair.
- 00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:59,362 Nice try, a little higher and you've got it.
- 00:12:59,488 --> 00:13:02,115 Man, recess sucks without any slides or nothing.
- 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,409 Oh, here comes the unholy butthole now.
- 00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:06,077 Hey, thanks a lot
- 00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:07,996 for burning everything down, you little bitch.
- 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:10,373 I apologize for ruining your playground
- 00:13:10,499 --> 00:13:13,001 and turning your friend into a duck-billed platypus.
- 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,503 I was doing my father's bidding.
- 00:13:14,628 --> 00:13:16,171 I didn't have a choice.
- 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:19,633 [farts] Oh, excuse me, new kid
- 00:13:19,758 --> 00:13:22,928 I didn't mean to fart on you I didn't have a choice.
- 00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:25,639 Hoo, you stink, new kid. You smell like a fart.
- 00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:28,016 Yeah, we're gonna call you Fartboy from now on.
- 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,851 Bye-bye, Fartboy. - See ya.
- 00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:31,645 Good day. How are you, Damien?
- 00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:33,563 Those guys farted on me and then called me--
- 00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:35,065 Fartboy? Oh, good.
- 00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:36,775 Perhaps they won't call me that anymore.
- 00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:39,361 <i>[twangy music]</i>
- 00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,530 [indistinct chatter]
- 00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:44,324 [clears throat] Excuse me...
- 00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:46,535 I just talked to the bookie at the sports betting bar.
- 00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:48,662 Uh-oh. [all whistle]
- 00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:51,331 I have been forsaken! It seems that several bets
- 00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:53,708 were changed to Satan this morning.
- 00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:56,378 In fact it seems that only one person
- 00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:58,797 in this entire town is still betting on me.
- 00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:01,383 You should all be ashamed of yourselves.
- 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,301 Betting against your lord and savior.
- 00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:04,928 I am disgusted!
- 00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:06,721 Your bet was changed as well.
- 00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:08,139 You forsaked me too.
- 00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:10,392 Oh. Right, well...
- 00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,561 he does have a couple hundred pounds on you, Jesus.
- 00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:15,146 I implore you all, don't bet on the Dark One.
- 00:14:15,272 --> 00:14:16,815 It is a bet that you will never win.
- 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:19,442 Jesus, I am sorry I have sinned against you.
- 00:14:19,568 --> 00:14:21,278 I'm gonna march right over to that bookie
- 00:14:21,403 --> 00:14:22,737 and change my bet right now.
- 00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:24,823 Oh, yeah, yeah me too. Me too.
- 00:14:24,948 --> 00:14:27,284 Yeah. - Praise the Lord!
- 00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:30,871 Thank you sweet Jesus for showing us the light!
- 00:14:30,996 --> 00:14:33,123 See you later.
- 00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:36,668 What the hell does he think, we're all crazy?
- 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,170 [all chuckling] - Yeah, crazy.
- 00:14:39,296 --> 00:14:41,756 This show's gay. - Yeah.
- 00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:43,925 You're all a bunch of Judases.
- 00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:45,510 Hey Jesus.
- 00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:47,137 What are you doing out so late, kids?
- 00:14:47,262 --> 00:14:48,680 We have to find Red and Green Mega Mans
- 00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:50,432 for Cartman's birthday party. - Oh.
- 00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:53,518 Kids, you believe I can beat Satan, right?
- 00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:55,228 Sure, dude. You're the son of god!
- 00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:57,188 Yeah. You aren't having any doubts, are you?
- 00:14:57,314 --> 00:14:58,690 N-no, no.
- 00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:01,610 But could you help me train a little?
- 00:15:02,611 --> 00:15:05,530 Satan, what do expect the outcome of the fight to be?
- 00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:08,867 I will crush him like a little bug.
- 00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:11,161 Satan, what about the rumors of your involvement
- 00:15:11,286 --> 00:15:13,830 in the Gulf War?
- 00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:15,790 Let's focus on the fight, can we please?
- 00:15:15,916 --> 00:15:18,501 I'm so sick of people talking smack about my fighters.
- 00:15:18,627 --> 00:15:20,670 All this, "He's mean", "He's a dirty fighter",
- 00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:22,339 "He's the cause for all the violence and death
- 00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:24,174 in the world." It's just getting old.
- 00:15:24,299 --> 00:15:27,469 Let's just let everything be decided in the ring.
- 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,346 You guys, shouldn't you be out shopping
- 00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:31,181 for my birthday presents? - Here, Jesus,
- 00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:33,433 drink these raw eggs. - No way, dude.
- 00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:35,310 I-I can't.
- 00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,895 I can't hit Jesus Christ.
- 00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:39,230 My mother would never speak to me again.
- 00:15:39,356 --> 00:15:40,774 But you're his sparing partner, Chef.
- 00:15:40,899 --> 00:15:42,067 Yeah, you have to hit him.
- 00:15:42,192 --> 00:15:43,818 Satan must be defeated, Chef.
- 00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:46,613 Please help me to train. - Okay...
- 00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:48,949 But I'm just gonna tap you, all right?
- 00:15:49,074 --> 00:15:50,408 Give it your best shot--oh!
- 00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:53,370 Oh, God in heaven. What have I done?
- 00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:55,914 Anybody get the number of that truck?
- 00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:01,503 <i>[upbeat music]</i> [elephant trumpets]
- 00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:04,506 C'mon kiddies, eat more.
- 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,092 Welcome, Clyde. Please put your present
- 00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:08,718 on the table to your left.
- 00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:11,346 Welcome, Debbie. Presents go to your left.
- 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:12,597 Welcome, Chef. - Yep.
- 00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,307 Here's your present, children.
- 00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:16,810 Well, nice party. See you later.
- 00:16:16,935 --> 00:16:18,353 Hey, you just got here, Chef.
- 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,563 I know, but the fight is starting.
- 00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:23,316 But, dude, check it out. Cartman's mom made chili.
- 00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:25,527 Mm. - Mmm.
- 00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:27,862 That's my favorite kind of chili.
- 00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:30,448 I guess all the kids are at that fat boy's birthday party.
- 00:16:30,573 --> 00:16:32,283 Yes. It's always such a huge event.
- 00:16:32,409 --> 00:16:33,910 Sometimes I like to sneak up to the fence
- 00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:36,037 and close my eyes and pretend I'm there.
- 00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:37,706 The other kids have always hated you?
- 00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:39,666 Oh, yes. Actually, I think they make fun
- 00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:41,793 of the fat boy a lot too. But now I think they like him
- 00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:43,211 because he picks on me.
- 00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:44,754 [bell dings]
- 00:16:44,879 --> 00:16:46,756 <i>[twangy music]</i>
- 00:16:46,881 --> 00:16:49,009 In the blue corner, wearing white trunks,
- 00:16:49,134 --> 00:16:52,554 weighing in at a mere 140 pounds,
- 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:53,847 Jesús
- 00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:55,932 "El Savior"
- 00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:57,934 Christ.
- 00:16:58,059 --> 00:17:00,145 [cheers and applause]
- 00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:02,772 And in the very, very, black corner
- 00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:05,191 wearing very, very black trunks.
- 00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:07,861 The king of all that is evil...
- 00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:11,406 Beelzebub!
- 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:14,492 [cheers and applause]
- 00:17:16,411 --> 00:17:18,288 Ladies and gentlemen,
- 00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:23,668 let's get ready to rumble!
- 00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:25,587 Okay, I want a good, clean fight, guys.
- 00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:28,423 No punches below the belt, holding, or miracles.
- 00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:29,883 [bell dings]
- 00:17:30,008 --> 00:17:32,802 <i>[carnival music]</i> [kids shouting]
- 00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:35,013 Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing here?
- 00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:37,015 Yeah you aren't invited, new kid.
- 00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:39,184 And neither are you, Pip. - Yes, I tried to tell Damien
- 00:17:39,309 --> 00:17:40,685 that we weren't invited, but-- - Wait a minute.
- 00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:42,270 Give me a chance!
- 00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:44,606 I want to do something special for your party!
- 00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:47,734 <i>[scary chanting]</i>
- 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,279 [demonic growling]
- 00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:52,655 Oh, no!
- 00:17:52,781 --> 00:17:55,658 [screams]
- 00:17:55,784 --> 00:17:57,619 Wow. - Whoa, that was cool.
- 00:17:57,744 --> 00:17:59,120 [cheers and applause]
- 00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:00,455 Hey, you're not such a bad guy,
- 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:01,998 after all, Damien. - Yeah.
- 00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:04,501 Come on in and join the party.
- 00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:06,628 [bell dinging] [crowd shouting]
- 00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,171 Oh!
- 00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:10,423 <i>[dramatic music]</i> [crowd quiets]
- 00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:12,717 [crowd shouting] Oh!
- 00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:15,804 ♪♪
- 00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:18,890 C'mon you little wuss, fight!
- 00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:20,767 Throw a punch.
- 00:18:20,892 --> 00:18:24,479 Oh, I wonder what Stan got me for my birthday present.
- 00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:28,233 Oh, look a Blue Mega Man! Thank you, Stan.
- 00:18:28,358 --> 00:18:31,277 You may eat pie and cake and ice cream now.
- 00:18:31,402 --> 00:18:32,862 And what did Wendy get me?
- 00:18:32,987 --> 00:18:35,657 Oh, it's the Yellow Mega Man!
- 00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:38,159 Help yourself to pie, cake, and ice cream, Wendy.
- 00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,036 Oh, look what Kyle got me.
- 00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:41,663 It's a Red Mega--
- 00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:43,748 Ants in the Pants? Ants in the pan--
- 00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:45,166 Ants in the pants!
- 00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:46,584 It's game, dude. It's really fun!
- 00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:48,878 You son of a bitch! - Ah!
- 00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:51,005 You were supposed to get me the Red Mega Man!
- 00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:53,049 Now I can't make Ultra Mega Mega Man!
- 00:18:53,174 --> 00:18:54,968 You dirty, cheap-ass, piece of crap.
- 00:18:55,093 --> 00:18:56,427 They were all out of 'em, dude!
- 00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:58,930 I hate you! I want you to die!
- 00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,306 Die! - [screams]
- 00:19:00,431 --> 00:19:02,225 That's it! Party is over!
- 00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:04,060 Everybody go home!
- 00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:09,983 Get the hell out I said!
- 00:19:10,108 --> 00:19:12,694 Party's over! Get out God damn it!
- 00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:14,279 Whoa, dude, you need to mellow out.
- 00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:16,781 Take your stupid Ants in the Pants with you!
- 00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:19,325 Wow, that kid has some real emotional problems.
- 00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:20,785 Ah, he does this all the time.
- 00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:22,620 C'mon children, we can still catch
- 00:19:22,745 --> 00:19:25,123 the end of the fight. - [screaming]
- 00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:26,457 [grunts]
- 00:19:26,583 --> 00:19:28,710 Oh, what a splendid party!
- 00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:29,961 [bell dinging]
- 00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:30,962 [crowd shouting]
- 00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:32,672 Oh!
- 00:19:32,797 --> 00:19:34,465 Fight, damn it.
- 00:19:37,594 --> 00:19:39,846 Ow! [shouts]
- 00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:41,556 [coughs, grunts]
- 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,558 Dude, Jesus is getting his butt kicked.
- 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:46,269 [bell dings] You've got to fight, Jesus.
- 00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:47,896 Why, what's the point?
- 00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:49,230 No one believes in me.
- 00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:50,940 Everyone put their money on Satan.
- 00:19:51,065 --> 00:19:53,401 My father forsaked me, the town forsaked me.
- 00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,195 I'm completely forsook.
- 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,113 Somebody bet on you, Jesus. You said yourself
- 00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:58,907 that one person still has money on you.
- 00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:00,533 It doesn't matter. He's way too strong
- 00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:02,118 for me anyway I give up.
- 00:20:02,243 --> 00:20:03,912 God damn it, Jesus, snap out of it!
- 00:20:04,037 --> 00:20:05,496 What would Nancy Kerrigan do, huh?
- 00:20:05,622 --> 00:20:06,998 Nancy Kerrigan wouldn't give up.
- 00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:08,583 When things were looking their darkest
- 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,168 Nancy Kerrigan fought to be the best.
- 00:20:10,293 --> 00:20:12,086 She wouldn't stop until she was number one.
- 00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:13,546 Uh, Stan. - Nancy Kerrigan wouldn't
- 00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:15,340 settle for second best. - Stan.
- 00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:16,633 She wouldn't quit until she brought home the gold.
- 00:20:16,758 --> 00:20:18,134 Stan! - What?
- 00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:19,677 Nancy Kerrigan got the silver, dude.
- 00:20:19,802 --> 00:20:21,638 She came in second.
- 00:20:22,764 --> 00:20:24,307 Really? - Yeah, dude.
- 00:20:24,432 --> 00:20:26,476 Oh, never mind, Jesus. Nancy Kerrigan sucks.
- 00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:29,812 You know, somebody once said,
- 00:20:29,938 --> 00:20:33,149 "Don't try to be a great man. Just be a man."
- 00:20:33,274 --> 00:20:35,944 Who said that? - You did, Jesus.
- 00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:38,947 <i>[soft music]</i>
- 00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:40,740 You're right, Stan.
- 00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:42,200 Thank you, boys.
- 00:20:42,325 --> 00:20:44,661 [bell dings]
- 00:20:44,786 --> 00:20:46,204 Wow, did he say that in the Bible?
- 00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:48,289 No, I saw it on "Star Trek." - Hmm.
- 00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:52,877 C'mon, sissy, hit me! Hit me.
- 00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:55,713 Okay, pal, you asked for it.
- 00:20:55,838 --> 00:20:58,591 <i>[dramatic musical flourish]</i>
- 00:20:58,716 --> 00:20:59,926 ♪♪
- 00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:04,472 Oh, you got me.
- 00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:06,891 One, two, three...
- 00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:09,394 No way! He barely touched him.
- 00:21:09,519 --> 00:21:11,271 Seven, eight... - Aww, come on!
- 00:21:11,396 --> 00:21:12,689 Nine, ten. - This is ridiculous.
- 00:21:12,814 --> 00:21:13,815 You're out!
- 00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:15,692 [bell dinging]
- 00:21:15,817 --> 00:21:18,236 Our savior! - The winner by knockout
- 00:21:18,361 --> 00:21:22,699 and still undisputed ruler of your spiritual kingdom.
- 00:21:22,824 --> 00:21:24,450 Jesús
- 00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:27,120 "El Savior"
- 00:21:27,245 --> 00:21:28,830 Christ.
- 00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:30,415 [crowd groaning]
- 00:21:30,540 --> 00:21:32,792 Hey, he isn't hurt. He took a dive.
- 00:21:32,917 --> 00:21:34,752 He threw the fight. - Yeah!
- 00:21:34,877 --> 00:21:37,213 Fools. You are all fools.
- 00:21:37,338 --> 00:21:39,048 Of course I took a dive.
- 00:21:39,173 --> 00:21:40,925 Don't you see? Who do you think was
- 00:21:41,050 --> 00:21:44,595 the one person that bet on Jesus to win?
- 00:21:44,721 --> 00:21:46,264 <i>[soft dramatic music]</i>
- 00:21:46,389 --> 00:21:48,099 Me, you idiots.
- 00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:50,643 And now I will take all your hard-earned money,
- 00:21:50,768 --> 00:21:53,479 and return to hell a much richer Prince of Darkness
- 00:21:53,604 --> 00:21:56,357 and buy some real estate. Ha, ha,ha, ha!
- 00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:57,859 I don't believe this!
- 00:21:57,984 --> 00:22:00,028 Yeah. What a mean thing to do.
- 00:22:00,153 --> 00:22:01,904 Farewell, fools.
- 00:22:02,030 --> 00:22:05,575 Man, that guy is a jerk. [all boo]
- 00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,618 Jesus told you guys not to bet on Satan.
- 00:22:07,744 --> 00:22:09,662 Boy, did we get screwed.
- 00:22:09,787 --> 00:22:11,622 Jesus, we're sorry.
- 00:22:11,748 --> 00:22:14,709 Can you ever forgive us?
- 00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:17,295 Aw, heck, do I have a choice?
- 00:22:17,420 --> 00:22:19,213 [cheers and applause]
- 00:22:19,339 --> 00:22:21,799 Well Jesus, I definitely learned my lesson.
- 00:22:21,924 --> 00:22:24,385 Never bet on evil because when you do--
- 00:22:24,510 --> 00:22:25,928 Ned, look!
- 00:22:26,054 --> 00:22:28,014 There's a rare duck-billed platypus!
- 00:22:28,139 --> 00:22:29,766 It's coming right for us!
- 00:22:32,143 --> 00:22:34,062 Oh, my God. They killed Kenny.
- 00:22:34,187 --> 00:22:35,563 You bastard!
- 00:22:35,688 --> 00:22:37,231 Well, good-bye, guys.
- 00:22:37,357 --> 00:22:38,733 It was nice getting to know you.
- 00:22:38,858 --> 00:22:40,818 You're leaving already? - I have to.
- 00:22:40,943 --> 00:22:43,488 My dad is always on the move. - Wow.
- 00:22:43,613 --> 00:22:45,114 I feel kind of bad for that kid.
- 00:22:45,239 --> 00:22:46,574 Yeah, just when he was being accepted
- 00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:48,242 he has to leave and start over.
- 00:22:48,368 --> 00:22:50,203 Parents can be so cruel. Don't they realize that
- 00:22:50,328 --> 00:22:52,872 what a child needs more than anything is security?
- 00:22:53,623 --> 00:22:55,083 More pie, hon?
- 00:22:55,208 --> 00:22:57,126 [grunts]
- 00:22:57,251 --> 00:23:00,963 No...more...pie.
- 00:23:01,089 --> 00:23:04,550 [grunting]
- 00:23:04,675 --> 00:23:07,553 <i>[twangy music]</i>
- 00:23:07,678 --> 00:23:14,685 ♪♪
Скриншоты
