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Мистер Хэнки, рождественская какашка
Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo
Сезон: 01Серия: 09
Описание
Город пытается организовать политкорректное Рождество, а Кайл — познакомить всех со своим другом, живущим в канализации.
Субтитры
- 00:00:02,795 --> 00:00:04,255 Howdy-ho, all you South Park-eteers out there.
- 00:00:04,380 --> 00:00:05,756 <i>Howdy-ho!</i>
- 00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:07,258 I'm rootin', tootin' Trey Parker.
- 00:00:07,383 --> 00:00:08,509 I'm pistol-slingin' Matt Stone.
- 00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:09,677 And this here's ol' Scratch.
- 00:00:09,802 --> 00:00:11,012 Say hi, ol' fella.
- 00:00:11,137 --> 00:00:13,139 <i>Hi, Scratch!</i>
- 00:00:13,264 --> 00:00:15,266 You know, Matt and I are right excited,
- 00:00:15,391 --> 00:00:18,060 because this episode of "South Park" is favorite episode.
- 00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:20,229 That's right. It was our Christmas special
- 00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:22,565 entitled, "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo."
- 00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:24,108 In it, the little Jewish kid Kyle
- 00:00:24,233 --> 00:00:26,402 is visited by a talking candy bar.
- 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:28,362 That's right, South Park-eteers.
- 00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:30,114 And the reason that this episode is our favorite
- 00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:31,907 is 'cause it was the first one
- 00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:34,160 to introduce the school counselor, Mr. Mackey.
- 00:00:34,285 --> 00:00:35,786 He was based on an actual counselor I had
- 00:00:35,911 --> 00:00:37,955 in junior high school.
- 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:40,583 Why, I used to run around the hallways, getting in trouble,
- 00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:42,585 and he'd say, "Trey, you need to calm down
- 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:44,879 and get back to your schoolwork, 'mkay?"
- 00:00:45,004 --> 00:00:46,297 And now I'm making a million dollars off of him!
- 00:00:46,422 --> 00:00:47,590 <i>Hurray!</i>
- 00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,300 And like all of our episodes,
- 00:00:49,425 --> 00:00:50,926 this episode has an important moral lesson.
- 00:00:51,052 --> 00:00:52,595 The moral of this episode is
- 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,597 is that everyone, regardless of your religion,
- 00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:56,891 should celebrate Christmas, because it's the best holiday.
- 00:00:57,016 --> 00:00:59,852 - Yeah. <i>- Hurray!</i>
- 00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:02,146 Oh, look, it's our Indian companion friend,
- 00:01:02,271 --> 00:01:04,315 Indian Companion. Hello, Indian Companion.
- 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:06,484 - Say hi, kids. <i>- Hi!</i>
- 00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:08,069 Someone's coming.
- 00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:11,405 Thank you.
- 00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:16,535 Anyway, why don't you all sit back, relax,
- 00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:18,245 and have a rootin', tootin' good time
- 00:01:18,370 --> 00:01:21,082 with "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Chocolate Bar."
- 00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:25,336 <i>Hurray!</i>
- 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,969 ♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪
- 00:01:34,095 --> 00:01:36,097 ♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪
- 00:01:36,222 --> 00:01:38,140 ♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪
- 00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:42,478 ♪ And a Happy New Year ♪
- 00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,647 Lights, please.
- 00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:46,232 And there were, in the same country,
- 00:01:46,357 --> 00:01:47,900 shepherds abiding in the field,
- 00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:49,652 keeping watch over their flock by night.
- 00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:50,986 And lo the angel of the lord came upon them,
- 00:01:51,112 --> 00:01:52,696 and they were so afraid.
- 00:01:52,822 --> 00:01:54,573 And the angel said unto them, "Fear not,
- 00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:56,367 "for behold, I bring you tidings of great joy.
- 00:01:56,492 --> 00:01:58,911 "For born unto you this day in the City of David,
- 00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:00,746 "is the savior, Jesus Christ, our lord.
- 00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:02,123 "Glory to god in the highest and on earth peace,
- 00:02:02,248 --> 00:02:03,874 and good will towards man."
- 00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:05,918 And now, South Park Elementary presents,
- 00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:08,921 the birth of Jesus.
- 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,676 Come on Mary, push!
- 00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:14,969 I can see its head!
- 00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:18,389 It's a boy.
- 00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:19,640 Oh.
- 00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:22,768 Wait a minute, wait, wait, wait!
- 00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:24,270 Kyle, what the hell was that?
- 00:02:24,395 --> 00:02:25,521 You need to hold the baby by the legs,
- 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:26,939 not by the head.
- 00:02:27,064 --> 00:02:28,357 What kind of sick weirdo are you?
- 00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:29,942 Sorry. - And Wendy,
- 00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:31,777 I'm still not believing the labor pains.
- 00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:34,196 Okay. - Mr. Garrison,
- 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,866 what the hell do you think you're doing?
- 00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:39,368 Well, I'm trying to direct the school Christmas play.
- 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:42,371 But your son was holding baby Jesus' fetus by the head.
- 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,665 How dare you include the nativity
- 00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:46,292 in a school play!
- 00:02:46,417 --> 00:02:49,170 Don't you realize my son is Jewish?
- 00:02:49,295 --> 00:02:50,880 So?
- 00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:54,300 So what makes you think he should play Joseph?
- 00:02:54,425 --> 00:02:56,218 Because it's Christmas.
- 00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:59,013 Our family doesn't celebrate Christmas.
- 00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:03,100 You're not gonna lay that Chanukah crap on me, are you?
- 00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:05,019 What, what, what?
- 00:03:05,144 --> 00:03:06,979 You're not going to get away with this Mr. Garrison!
- 00:03:07,104 --> 00:03:09,023 Good, Kyle's mom is here to ruin Christmas!
- 00:03:09,148 --> 00:03:10,608 Shut up fat boy!
- 00:03:10,733 --> 00:03:12,526 I'm not fat, I'm festively plump.
- 00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:14,570 Why are you Jewish on Christmas, Kyle?
- 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,531 Kyle is there anything you can do for the Christmas play
- 00:03:17,656 --> 00:03:19,533 that isn't related to Jesus?
- 00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:22,536 How about the dreidel song, bubby?
- 00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:24,288 I can sing "The Mr. Hankey Song."
- 00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:26,457 The Mr. Hankey Song, how does that go?
- 00:03:26,582 --> 00:03:28,626 ♪ Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo ♪
- 00:03:28,751 --> 00:03:30,294 ♪ He loves me and I love you ♪
- 00:03:30,419 --> 00:03:31,754 Christmas Poo?
- 00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:33,214 What the hell is Christmas Poo?
- 00:03:33,339 --> 00:03:34,673 Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo.
- 00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:35,925 Haven't you guys ever heard of him?
- 00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:37,760 Kyle, that is enough!
- 00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:39,303 See, that's what you get when you raise your child
- 00:03:39,428 --> 00:03:41,013 to be a pagan! - Now, that does it!
- 00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:43,474 I am going straight to the mayor about you!
- 00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:45,643 Wait, wait, wait, I'm sorry.
- 00:03:45,768 --> 00:03:47,019 Was it the pagan remark?
- 00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:48,479 You guys, look.
- 00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:49,980 It's snowing.
- 00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:56,195 Whoa! Christmas snow.
- 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:59,198 Try to catch snowflakes on your tongue.
- 00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:00,491 It's fun.
- 00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:09,291 Oh, sick, dude.
- 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:10,960 Hey! What the hell are you doing?
- 00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:12,211 Jewish people can't eat Christmas snow.
- 00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:13,837 We can too.
- 00:04:13,963 --> 00:04:15,256 No, I think it's against the law, dude.
- 00:04:15,381 --> 00:04:17,258 Officer Barbrady? - What?
- 00:04:17,383 --> 00:04:20,427 Is it illegal for Jews to eat Christmas snow?
- 00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:22,596 Yes. - Damn it!
- 00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:24,640 Hey, come on, guys.
- 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,517 We have to go tell Santa Claus what we want for Christmas.
- 00:04:26,642 --> 00:04:28,143 Yeah, we'll see you later, Kyle.
- 00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:29,770 Guess there's no reason for you to come
- 00:04:29,895 --> 00:04:31,438 since you don't get Christmas presents.
- 00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:33,107 No, but I get Chanukah presents for eight days.
- 00:04:33,232 --> 00:04:34,525 Too bad it's usually a dreidel
- 00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:36,026 or something lame like that.
- 00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:37,945 We'll catch up with you later Kyle.
- 00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:39,655 Wait, I may not have Santa,
- 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,740 but I do have Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo.
- 00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:43,784 What is it this about Christmas Poo, dude?
- 00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:45,619 Mr. Hankey, he comes out of the toilet every year,
- 00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:47,246 and gives presents to everybody
- 00:04:47,371 --> 00:04:48,539 who has a lot of fiber in their diet.
- 00:04:48,664 --> 00:04:50,040 Kyle come on, seriously,
- 00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:51,792 you are really reaching right now.
- 00:04:51,917 --> 00:04:53,210 Well, you're gonna be sorry when you see me
- 00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:54,378 riding around on Santa's sleigh
- 00:04:54,503 --> 00:04:55,963 with Mr. Hankey, fat ass!
- 00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:57,172 You're not gonna ride on Santa's sleigh
- 00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:58,674 because you're a Jew, Kyle.
- 00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,676 See ya' dude.
- 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:12,187 ♪ It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas ♪
- 00:05:12,313 --> 00:05:17,318 ♪ My friends won't let me join in any games ♪
- 00:05:17,443 --> 00:05:19,945 ♪ And I can't sing Christmas songs ♪
- 00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:22,781 ♪ Or decorate a Christmas tree ♪
- 00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:25,617 ♪ Or leave water out for Rudolph ♪
- 00:05:25,743 --> 00:05:28,245 ♪ 'Cause there's something wrong with me ♪
- 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:34,960 ♪ My people don't believe in Jesus Christ's divinity ♪
- 00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:37,087 ♪ I'm a Jew ♪
- 00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:40,049 ♪ A lonely Jew ♪
- 00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:46,013 ♪ On Christmas ♪
- 00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:50,934 ♪ Chanukah is nice but why is it ♪
- 00:05:51,060 --> 00:05:56,398 ♪ That Santa passes over my house every year ♪
- 00:05:56,523 --> 00:06:01,779 ♪ And instead of eating ham I have to eat kosher latkes ♪
- 00:06:01,904 --> 00:06:04,823 ♪ Instead of "Silent Night" I'm singing ♪
- 00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:09,370 ♪ And what the is up ♪
- 00:06:09,495 --> 00:06:11,205 ♪ With lighting all these candles ♪
- 00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:13,791 ♪ Tell me please ♪
- 00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:15,918 ♪ I'm a Jew ♪
- 00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:19,046 ♪ A lonely Jew ♪
- 00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:24,218 ♪ I'd be merry but I'm Hebrew ♪
- 00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:27,471 ♪ On Christmas ♪
- 00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:42,111 Okay everybody, settle down.
- 00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:45,447 Mayor, we are deeply offended by the nativity scene
- 00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,491 in front of the capital office.
- 00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:49,785 Church and state are separate!
- 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,036 No! - No!
- 00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:52,830 What's going on you guys?
- 00:06:52,955 --> 00:06:54,456 The whole town's pissed off at each other.
- 00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:56,125 It's really sweet. - That isn't all, mayor,
- 00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:58,919 the school play is doing a nativity scene.
- 00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:02,256 It isn't being sensitive to the Jewish community.
- 00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:04,007 You are the Jewish community.
- 00:07:04,133 --> 00:07:05,592 Yeah! - Yeah!
- 00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:07,094 Oh boy, super bitch is at it again.
- 00:07:07,219 --> 00:07:09,054 Don't call my mom a bitch, Cartman!
- 00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:11,223 Mayor, the nativity is what Christmas is all about.
- 00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:12,599 If you remove Christ,
- 00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:14,017 you must remove Santa and Frosty
- 00:07:14,143 --> 00:07:15,561 and all that garbage too!
- 00:07:15,686 --> 00:07:17,312 Hallelujah!
- 00:07:17,438 --> 00:07:18,772 And we must put a stop to
- 00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:20,691 the cutting down of Christmas trees!
- 00:07:20,816 --> 00:07:22,359 Gimme a break!
- 00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:23,569 And I'm sick and tired of those
- 00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:25,320 little flaps on coffee lids!
- 00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:26,905 If you don't want to spill your coffee,
- 00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:29,491 then you shouldn't be drivin' with it!
- 00:07:31,243 --> 00:07:33,078 Yeah! Yeah! - Okay people,
- 00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,914 clearly we need to reach a compromise.
- 00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:39,751 Perhaps we need a new icon for Christmas.
- 00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:42,421 Brilliant idea, mayor.
- 00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:45,799 Hey, how about Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo?
- 00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,301 Excuse me?
- 00:07:47,426 --> 00:07:49,052 Oh boy, here we go again.
- 00:07:49,178 --> 00:07:50,804 He comes out of the toilet every year
- 00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:52,347 and gives presents to everybody
- 00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:53,640 who has a lot of fiber in their diet.
- 00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:55,434 Kyle, shh!
- 00:07:55,559 --> 00:07:57,060 It's true, he doesn't care what faith you are.
- 00:07:57,186 --> 00:07:58,687 ♪ Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo ♪
- 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,272 ♪ He loves me and I love you ♪
- 00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:02,983 ♪ Therefore... ♪ - Don't mind him.
- 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:04,735 He's a very disturbed little boy.
- 00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:08,322 Okay Kyle, we're leaving right now.
- 00:08:08,447 --> 00:08:10,908 Wait! - Anyway, I'll put together
- 00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:13,202 a crack team of my best workers
- 00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:14,828 to make sure this will be
- 00:08:14,953 --> 00:08:16,705 the most non-offensive Christmas ever,
- 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,582 to any religious or minority group of any kind.
- 00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:21,418 Are there any other suggestions?
- 00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:22,961 Yes, Mr. Garrison.
- 00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:27,508 Could we get rid of all the Mexicans?
- 00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:29,051 No, Mr. Garrison,
- 00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:31,720 we cannot get rid of all the Mexicans.
- 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:32,846 Rats!
- 00:08:40,229 --> 00:08:42,022 It is sick and disgusting.
- 00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,357 And we simply will not have it.
- 00:08:43,482 --> 00:08:44,608 Your father's right Kyle.
- 00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:46,235 Sheila, let me handle this.
- 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,278 Having imaginary friends is fine Kyle,
- 00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:49,947 but this simply will not do.
- 00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:51,990 Listen to your father, Kyle.
- 00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:54,034 Now I want you to repeat after me--
- 00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:56,620 there is no such thing as Mr. Hankey.
- 00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:58,914 But Dad, he always... - Say it!
- 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,499 There's no such thing as Mr. Hankey.
- 00:09:00,624 --> 00:09:02,042 Again.
- 00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:03,502 There is no such thing as Mr. Hankey.
- 00:09:03,627 --> 00:09:05,337 This is for your own good, bubby.
- 00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:07,047 Now you go brush your teeth and march into bed.
- 00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,508 You won't be opening your Chanukah present tonight.
- 00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:11,426 Probably just another stupid dreidel anyway.
- 00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:12,761 What did you say?
- 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:13,845 I said Ike's on fire!
- 00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:15,013 Uh-oh.
- 00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:16,473 Oh, my god!
- 00:09:19,268 --> 00:09:20,435 It isn't fair.
- 00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:21,812 I don't wanna be an outcast!
- 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,148 I'm not hearing that.
- 00:09:25,274 --> 00:09:28,026 Hello?
- 00:09:28,151 --> 00:09:30,320 Mr. Hankey?
- 00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,739 Howdy-ho!
- 00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:35,784 Howdy-ho Kyle,
- 00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,661 gosh you're looking swell!
- 00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:38,954 Go away Mr. Hankey.
- 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,539 You know something pal?
- 00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:43,292 You smell an awful lot like flowers.
- 00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:45,335 I said go away, my dad says you're not real.
- 00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:46,753 Not real?
- 00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:48,505 Well shucks, if I weren't real,
- 00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:51,717 could I sing this jolly Christmas song?
- 00:09:51,842 --> 00:09:54,052 ♪ Santa Claus is on his way ♪
- 00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:55,679 ♪ A load of goodies on his sleigh ♪
- 00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:57,598 ♪ Dropping off on Christmas day ♪
- 00:09:57,723 --> 00:09:59,266 ♪ And I'll say howdy-ho ♪
- 00:09:59,391 --> 00:10:01,310 Mr. Hankey shh, I'll get in trouble!
- 00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:02,811 ♪ Folks will gather 'round the fire ♪
- 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,646 ♪ Sing a song without a choir ♪
- 00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,315 ♪ Pretty soon they'll all return ♪
- 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,400 ♪ And I'll say howdy-ho ♪
- 00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:10,611 Kyle, what are you doing in there?
- 00:10:10,736 --> 00:10:12,529 Nothing. - Open the door!
- 00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:14,489 ♪ Hope that Santa comes real soon ♪
- 00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:16,325 Mr. Hankey, cut it out!
- 00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:17,701 Huh?
- 00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:21,830 Kyle!
- 00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,081 Say something, Mr. Hankey!
- 00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:28,045 Now you get to sleep
- 00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:29,379 and think about how your poor mother
- 00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:31,048 has to clean that bathroom up!
- 00:10:31,173 --> 00:10:33,008 What, what, what? Me?
- 00:10:36,178 --> 00:10:37,763 Howdy-ho!
- 00:10:37,888 --> 00:10:39,556 Mr. Hankey, where the hell did you go?
- 00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:42,059 You should be wearing socks to sleep Kyle.
- 00:10:42,184 --> 00:10:43,852 You're gonna catch a cold.
- 00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,604 Nobody believes in you, not even my friends.
- 00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:47,898 Gee, that's too bad.
- 00:10:48,023 --> 00:10:49,858 Hey, how about you come to school with me tomorrow?
- 00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:51,860 So I can at least prove I'm not crazy to my friends.
- 00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,821 Say, that sounds like a swell idea.
- 00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:58,158 We can show everyone the true spirit of Christmas.
- 00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:00,035 Yeah, we'll show them.
- 00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:03,413 Okay people, we got to turn this place around.
- 00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:05,248 Take down anything that is offensive
- 00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:07,751 to any specific group.
- 00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:10,337 Is mistletoe offensive?
- 00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:14,508 Is anyone offended by mistletoe?
- 00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:16,885 Lose the mistletoe!
- 00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:19,554 You guys, I'm getting that John Elway
- 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,348 football helmet for Christmas.
- 00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:23,308 How do you know?
- 00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:25,143 'Cause I looked in my parent's closet last night.
- 00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:27,104 Yeah well, I sneaked around my mom's closet too
- 00:11:27,229 --> 00:11:28,980 and saw what I'm getting.
- 00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:31,358 The Ultra Vibe Pleasure 2000.
- 00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:33,026 What's that? - I don't know
- 00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,778 but it sounds pretty sweet.
- 00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:36,196 Hello everybody.
- 00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:37,698 What's in the box dude?
- 00:11:37,823 --> 00:11:39,616 It's a surprise. - Let me see.
- 00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:41,118 Okay, but don't scare him.
- 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:46,957 Dude, sick!
- 00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,419 Is this some kind of Jewish tradition?
- 00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:55,132 Wait you guys, he's alive!
- 00:11:55,257 --> 00:11:56,883 Kyle, I think you better get home
- 00:11:57,008 --> 00:11:58,093 and get some sleep.
- 00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,595 Come on, dance! Dance!
- 00:12:00,721 --> 00:12:01,930 Dance damn you!
- 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,807 This is very simple-
- 00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:05,892 I'm going to say words and the computer will measure
- 00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:07,519 how offended you are by them.
- 00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,646 In this way we can find out which words
- 00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:11,898 are least offensive for use in the holiday season.
- 00:12:12,023 --> 00:12:13,608 Are we ready?
- 00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:15,360 Here we go.
- 00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:17,529 Christ.
- 00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:18,697 Hmm, okay.
- 00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:19,781 Chair.
- 00:12:22,159 --> 00:12:25,036 Camel.
- 00:12:25,162 --> 00:12:26,705 Sand.
- 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,584 Stupid wop-dago!
- 00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:34,713 Bench.
- 00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:40,051 Do you have to take the Christmas tree too?
- 00:12:40,177 --> 00:12:41,970 Mayor's orders.
- 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,472 Okay children, I'm really having
- 00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:45,766 a hard time with our Christmas play.
- 00:12:45,891 --> 00:12:47,642 The new law states we can't sing any songs
- 00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:50,479 having to do with Jesus or Santa Claus.
- 00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:52,564 Thanks to Kyle's mother. - Shut up Cartman!
- 00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:54,232 So does anybody know any non-Santa
- 00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:57,319 or non-Jesus Christmas songs?
- 00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:58,904 Yes, Eric. - How about we sing
- 00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:01,782 "Kyle's mom is a stupid bitch," in D-minor?
- 00:13:01,907 --> 00:13:05,577 I told you not to call my mom a bitch, Cartman!
- 00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,412 ♪ Well, Kyle's mom's a bitch ♪
- 00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:09,206 ♪ She's a big, fat bitch ♪
- 00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:11,166 ♪ She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world ♪
- 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,043 ♪ She's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch ♪
- 00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:14,044 ♪ She's a bitch to all the boys and girls ♪
- 00:13:14,169 --> 00:13:15,796 Shut up Cartman!
- 00:13:15,921 --> 00:13:19,090 Howdy-ho! - Mr. Hankey?
- 00:13:19,216 --> 00:13:20,926 ♪ Monday she's a bitch, on Tuesday's she's a bitch ♪
- 00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:22,636 ♪ And Wednesday through Saturday she's a bitch ♪
- 00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:24,221 ♪ Then on Sunday, just to be different ♪
- 00:13:24,346 --> 00:13:26,765 ♪ She's a super, two-ton megabitch ♪
- 00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,642 Golly, that isn't very nice.
- 00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:31,394 I'd sure like to teach him a lesson.
- 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,188 ♪ Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom ♪
- 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,481 ♪ She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world ♪
- 00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:36,316 ♪ She's a mean old bitch ♪
- 00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:38,026 ♪ If you ask anything of her she's a bitch ♪
- 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,194 ♪ Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch ♪
- 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,487 ♪ She's a stupid bitch ♪
- 00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:42,072 ♪ Kyle's mom's a bitch ♪
- 00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:44,825 ♪ And she's just a dirty bitch ♪
- 00:13:44,950 --> 00:13:48,203 ♪ Kyle's mom, is a ♪
- 00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:52,791 ♪ Bitch ♪
- 00:13:52,916 --> 00:13:55,043 Mr. Hankey, no!
- 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:56,795 What the?
- 00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:57,879 Gross, Kyle!
- 00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,297 Oh my lord Kyle,
- 00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:01,299 did you just throw doo-doo at Eric?
- 00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:02,717 Uh...
- 00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:04,886 You sick bastard!
- 00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:09,057 Now Kyle, as your school counselor,
- 00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:12,477 I want to try to help you confront your problem.
- 00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:14,104 I don't have a problem.
- 00:14:14,229 --> 00:14:15,605 Well it's my understanding that you,
- 00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:19,234 you have an acute case of fecalphilia.
- 00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:20,819 What's that?
- 00:14:20,944 --> 00:14:22,487 Well, a fecalphiliac is somebody
- 00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:24,698 who's obsessed with mookie-stinks, Kyle.
- 00:14:24,823 --> 00:14:26,658 Mookie-stinks?
- 00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:29,119 I also understand you're Jewish; is that right Kyle?
- 00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:31,079 Not on purpose.
- 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,414 So this must be a pretty hard time of year for you,
- 00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:33,748 being Christmas and all.
- 00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:35,458 Do the other kids make fun of you?
- 00:14:35,584 --> 00:14:36,877 Sometimes.
- 00:14:37,002 --> 00:14:38,670 That must make you mad. - Sure.
- 00:14:38,795 --> 00:14:41,923 Mad enough to kill, Kyle?
- 00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:44,050 No dude! - Well, that's good.
- 00:14:44,175 --> 00:14:46,928 You see Kyle, sometimes we feel like an outsider,
- 00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:50,307 we create friends, okay, in our minds, okay?
- 00:14:50,432 --> 00:14:51,850 But Mr. Hankey seems so real.
- 00:14:51,975 --> 00:14:53,310 Well, of course he does,
- 00:14:53,435 --> 00:14:54,728 in your screwed up little head,
- 00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:57,230 he's the only friend you have.
- 00:14:57,355 --> 00:15:01,359 Kyle! Howdy-ho!
- 00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:04,154 Right now you're nuttier than Chinese chicken salad.
- 00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:07,032 I mean you're one screwed up little kid.
- 00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:11,369 Do you understand?
- 00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:13,079 So try and stay positive,
- 00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:14,664 stay away from drugs and alcohol.
- 00:15:14,789 --> 00:15:16,416 And in the meantime,
- 00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,752 I'm gonna put on a heavy regimen of Prozac...
- 00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:24,966 Oh, oh my God, you sick little monkey!
- 00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:26,509 Okay children,
- 00:15:26,635 --> 00:15:28,011 we just received word from the mayor
- 00:15:28,136 --> 00:15:29,554 that the Christmas play
- 00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:31,264 can't include any Christmas lights,
- 00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:35,143 since they offend people with epilepsy.
- 00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:36,645 So Kenny, would you please go over
- 00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:38,688 and pull the light cords out of the wall?
- 00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:43,443 Careful now Kenny,
- 00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,070 those are very, very dangerous.
- 00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:52,869 Okay, now let's practice our...
- 00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:54,412 No, get away from me!
- 00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:55,789 Here, just look more closely at it.
- 00:15:55,914 --> 00:15:57,624 No, go away!
- 00:15:57,749 --> 00:16:00,085 Stan, you need to do something about your friend.
- 00:16:00,210 --> 00:16:01,795 Okay?
- 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:03,213 Get him out of here before he hurts anybody!
- 00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:04,589 Okay?
- 00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:09,135 Hello, we need to commit our friend Kyle, please.
- 00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:11,096 Reason?
- 00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:12,305 I'm a clinically depressed fecalphiliac on Prozac.
- 00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:14,224 Any allergies? - No.
- 00:16:14,349 --> 00:16:17,936 Jacket!
- 00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:19,980 Bye Kyle, happy Chanukah.
- 00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:26,236 Okay children,
- 00:16:26,361 --> 00:16:28,738 does everyone have their leotards on?
- 00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:32,617 Good, it looks like they've taken the Christmas trees down.
- 00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:35,120 Yes, and there's nothing Christian either.
- 00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:36,955 This should be great.
- 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,499 Oh, this could be such a wonderful Christmas play.
- 00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:41,751 I wish our little Kyle was here to see it.
- 00:16:41,876 --> 00:16:43,044 ♪ Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel ♪
- 00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:44,462 ♪ I made you out of clay ♪
- 00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:45,797 ♪ Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel ♪
- 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,298 ♪ With dreidel I will play ♪
- 00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:48,717 Second verse, same as the first!
- 00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:50,593 ♪ Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel ♪
- 00:16:50,719 --> 00:16:52,345 Welcome to the South Park elementary holiday...
- 00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:54,681 Wait, wait, there's a star above the stage.
- 00:16:54,806 --> 00:16:57,017 That's very offensive to non-Christians.
- 00:16:57,142 --> 00:16:58,768 Oh come on.
- 00:16:58,893 --> 00:17:01,104 Hey, don't push your beliefs on me, buddy!
- 00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:03,523 I agree. - Oh brother!
- 00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:05,358 Kenny would you please climb that ladder
- 00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:07,444 and take down the star above the stage.
- 00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:09,112 And be careful not to fall
- 00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:10,739 in that little pool below you Kenny.
- 00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,323 The shark for the third act is in there.
- 00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,617 Hmm?
- 00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:16,494 Ladies and gentlemen,
- 00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:18,955 welcome to the South Park Elementary holiday experience.
- 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,665 Before we bring out the kiddies for the play,
- 00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:23,043 here's a non-offensive, non-denominational
- 00:17:23,168 --> 00:17:25,962 holiday song by the school chef.
- 00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:30,050 ♪ I'm gonna lay you down by the yule log ♪
- 00:17:30,175 --> 00:17:33,303 ♪ I'm gonna love you right ♪
- 00:17:33,428 --> 00:17:36,056 ♪ Baby I'm gonna deck your halls ♪
- 00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:39,476 ♪ And silent your night ♪
- 00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:42,479 ♪ You'll hear the angel's sing ♪
- 00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:45,648 ♪ When I'm sliding off your bra ♪
- 00:17:45,774 --> 00:17:48,860 ♪ I just can't wait to jingle your bells ♪
- 00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:51,905 ♪ And fa-la-la your la ♪
- 00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:53,490 I wish Kyle was here.
- 00:17:53,615 --> 00:17:55,200 It just doesn't seem right without him.
- 00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:56,409 Yeah, old Kyle's gonna be locked up for a while,
- 00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:58,161 so get used to it.
- 00:17:58,286 --> 00:18:00,371 Okay kids, get ready to take your places.
- 00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:01,623 Thank you, Chef.
- 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,587 And now South Park Elementary presents
- 00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:09,464 the happy, non-offensive non-denominational
- 00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,424 Christmas play.
- 00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:14,385 With music and lyrics by New York minimalist composer,
- 00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:15,804 Phillip Glass.
- 00:18:19,349 --> 00:18:22,519 As I turn and look into the sun,
- 00:18:22,644 --> 00:18:26,731 the rays burn my eyes.
- 00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:30,360 How like a turtle, the sun looks.
- 00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:32,403 What the hell is this?
- 00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:36,324 This is horrible.
- 00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,701 This is the most god-awful piece of crap I've ever seen.
- 00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:40,787 Hey, you're the ones who made it this way.
- 00:18:40,912 --> 00:18:42,914 Because the Jews said it couldn't be Christian.
- 00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:45,416 It wasn't our idea to take out Santa Claus.
- 00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:47,252 All you bastards ruined Christmas!
- 00:18:48,253 --> 00:18:49,420 Get 'em in the ribs!
- 00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:50,672 Get 'em!
- 00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,423 This sucks dude.
- 00:18:52,549 --> 00:18:54,092 This is like the worst Christmas I've ever seen.
- 00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:55,218 Yeah.
- 00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:57,929 Say where's Kyle?
- 00:18:58,054 --> 00:19:00,056 We committed him. - What? Why?
- 00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:02,475 'Cause he kept seeing this little brown piece
- 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,310 of Christmas Poo everywhere that he went.
- 00:19:04,435 --> 00:19:07,480 Christmas Poo? You mean Mr. Hankey?
- 00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:09,065 Huh? Uh-oh!
- 00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:14,529 Say kids, why the long faces?
- 00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:17,031 We're bored. - There's nothing to do.
- 00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:19,742 Well maybe this will help.
- 00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:21,828 Yay, Mr. Hankey construction set!
- 00:19:21,953 --> 00:19:23,746 <i>That's right kids,</i>
- 00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:25,540 <i>now you can make your very own Mr. Hankey!</i>
- 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,167 <i>Just use the special fecal fishing net,</i>
- 00:19:27,292 --> 00:19:29,210 <i>and select your best Mr. Hankey.</i>
- 00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:31,171 That one!
- 00:19:31,296 --> 00:19:32,964 <i>Then use the hand-crafted Hankey stern to add</i>
- 00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:33,965 <i>whatever eyes, mouth, and hats you want.</i>
- 00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:35,592 Howdy-ho!
- 00:19:35,717 --> 00:19:37,218 I made a mariachi Mr. Hankey.
- 00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:38,928 Now it's a Mrs. Hankey.
- 00:19:39,053 --> 00:19:40,722 Let's put the fez hat on him.
- 00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:43,558 I wish Daddy was still alive.
- 00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:46,394 <i>Mr. Hankey play set comes with everything seen.</i>
- 00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:49,230 Hey, where's Mr. Hankey?
- 00:19:54,068 --> 00:19:54,986 I love you sweetheart.
- 00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:56,529 I love you too.
- 00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:03,411 This is horrible, everybody is fighting
- 00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,163 and my best friend is in an institution.
- 00:20:05,288 --> 00:20:06,956 All because we didn't believe in Mr. Hankey.
- 00:20:07,081 --> 00:20:08,833 Well, you can believe in him now.
- 00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:11,920 I believe.
- 00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:15,256 I believe in Mr. Hankey.
- 00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:18,051 Howdy-ho.
- 00:20:18,176 --> 00:20:20,011 Huh? - Howdy folks.
- 00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:23,306 Gosh, you sure do smell nice and flowery.
- 00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:26,059 Whoa! - Howdy-ho Chef.
- 00:20:26,184 --> 00:20:28,228 Howdy-ho Mr. Hankey.
- 00:20:28,353 --> 00:20:29,687 Okay, that does it.
- 00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:31,731 Screw you guys, I'm going home.
- 00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:34,067 Talking poo is where I draw the line.
- 00:20:34,192 --> 00:20:35,944 What's all the ruckus?
- 00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:37,654 I'm glad you're here Mr. Hankey.
- 00:20:37,779 --> 00:20:39,364 The whole town is about to kill each other.
- 00:20:39,489 --> 00:20:42,200 I reckon this could be a job for Mr. Hankey.
- 00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:47,789 Stop fighting.
- 00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:50,750 Oh my god, what the hell is that thing?
- 00:20:50,875 --> 00:20:53,253 Come on gang, don't fight.
- 00:20:53,378 --> 00:20:55,213 You people focus so hard
- 00:20:55,338 --> 00:20:57,423 on the things wrong with Christmas,
- 00:20:57,548 --> 00:21:01,594 that you've forgotten what's so right about it.
- 00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:03,179 Don't you see?
- 00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:04,847 This is the one time of year
- 00:21:04,973 --> 00:21:07,600 we're supposed to forget all the bad stuff.
- 00:21:07,725 --> 00:21:11,145 Stop worrying and being sad about the state of the world,
- 00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:14,649 and for just one day say "Ah, the heck with it."
- 00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:18,069 Let's sing and dance and bake cookies.
- 00:21:29,414 --> 00:21:31,708 Dude, this is pretty up.
- 00:21:31,833 --> 00:21:35,461 ♪ I'm a Jew, a lonely Jew ♪
- 00:21:35,586 --> 00:21:37,714 Howdy-ho, Kyle!
- 00:21:37,839 --> 00:21:39,549 Oh no... I'm not sane yet.
- 00:21:39,674 --> 00:21:41,843 I brought some friends with me.
- 00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:42,969 Friends?
- 00:21:46,597 --> 00:21:49,475 Merry Christmas, Kyle Broslovski!
- 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:50,476 You mean you can see him?
- 00:21:50,601 --> 00:21:52,061 I'm not crazy?
- 00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:56,691 ♪ Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo ♪
- 00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:58,901 ♪ He loves me I love you ♪
- 00:21:59,027 --> 00:22:01,487 ♪ Therefore vicariously he loves you ♪
- 00:22:01,612 --> 00:22:03,823 ♪ Even if you're a Jew ♪
- 00:22:03,948 --> 00:22:06,200 ♪ Sometimes he's nutty, sometimes he's corny ♪
- 00:22:06,326 --> 00:22:08,953 ♪ He can be brown or greenish brown ♪
- 00:22:09,078 --> 00:22:11,497 ♪ But if you eat fiber on Christmas eve ♪
- 00:22:11,622 --> 00:22:13,833 ♪ He might come to your town ♪
- 00:22:13,958 --> 00:22:15,418 ♪ Mr. Hankey... ♪
- 00:22:15,543 --> 00:22:18,338 Well, I got a long night ahead of me.
- 00:22:18,463 --> 00:22:20,381 Bye-bye, and Merry Christmas.
- 00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:21,966 Goodbye, Mr. Hankey.
- 00:22:22,091 --> 00:22:23,134 Bring me lots of presents!
- 00:22:23,259 --> 00:22:24,886 I always believed in you.
- 00:22:25,011 --> 00:22:27,180 Howdy-ho, ho, ho!
- 00:22:27,305 --> 00:22:28,806 You know, I learned something today.
- 00:22:28,931 --> 00:22:30,600 I learned that Jewish people are okay.
- 00:22:30,725 --> 00:22:32,393 And that Chanukah can be cool too.
- 00:22:32,518 --> 00:22:33,686 Yeah.
- 00:22:35,104 --> 00:22:37,440 You know it seems like something's still not right.
- 00:22:37,565 --> 00:22:41,194 Yeah something feels unfinished.
- 00:22:41,319 --> 00:22:42,820 Well, what could it be?
- 00:22:45,865 --> 00:22:47,325 Woo-hoo hoo!
- 00:22:53,956 --> 00:22:56,584 ♪ Happy birthday to me ♪
- 00:22:56,709 --> 00:22:59,504 ♪ Happy birthday to me ♪
- 00:00:02,795 --> 00:00:04,255 Howdy-ho, all you South Park-eteers out there.
- 00:00:04,380 --> 00:00:05,756 <i>children: Howdy-ho!</i>
- 00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:07,258 I'm rootin', tootin' Trey Parker.
- 00:00:07,383 --> 00:00:08,509 I'm pistol-slingin' Matt Stone.
- 00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:09,677 And this here's ol' Scratch.
- 00:00:09,802 --> 00:00:11,012 Say hi, ol' fella.
- 00:00:11,137 --> 00:00:13,139 <i>children: Hi, Scratch!</i>
- 00:00:13,264 --> 00:00:15,266 You know, Matt and I are right excited,
- 00:00:15,391 --> 00:00:18,060 because this episode of "South Park" is favorite episode.
- 00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:20,229 That's right. It was our Christmas special
- 00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:22,565 entitled, "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo."
- 00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:24,108 In it, the little Jewish kid Kyle
- 00:00:24,233 --> 00:00:26,402 is visited by a talking candy bar.
- 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:28,362 That's right, South Park-eteers.
- 00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:30,114 And the reason that this episode is our favorite
- 00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:31,907 is 'cause it was the first one
- 00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:34,160 to introduce the school counselor, Mr. Mackey.
- 00:00:34,285 --> 00:00:35,786 He was based on an actual counselor I had
- 00:00:35,911 --> 00:00:37,955 in junior high school.
- 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:40,583 Why, I used to run around the hallways, getting in trouble,
- 00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:42,585 and he'd say, "Trey, you need to calm down
- 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:44,879 and get back to your schoolwork, 'mkay?"
- 00:00:45,004 --> 00:00:46,297 And now I'm making a million dollars off of him!
- 00:00:46,422 --> 00:00:47,590 <i>children: Hurray!</i>
- 00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,300 And like all of our episodes,
- 00:00:49,425 --> 00:00:50,926 this episode has an important moral lesson.
- 00:00:51,052 --> 00:00:52,595 The moral of this episode is
- 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,597 is that everyone, regardless of your religion,
- 00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:56,891 should celebrate Christmas, because it's the best holiday.
- 00:00:57,016 --> 00:00:59,852 Yeah. <i>children: Hurray!</i>
- 00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:02,146 Oh, look, it's our Indian companion friend,
- 00:01:02,271 --> 00:01:04,315 Indian Companion. Hello, Indian Companion.
- 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:06,484 Say hi, kids. <i>children: Hi!</i>
- 00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:08,069 Someone's coming.
- 00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:11,405 Thank you.
- 00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:16,535 Anyway, why don't you all sit back, relax,
- 00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:18,245 and have a rootin', tootin' good time
- 00:01:18,370 --> 00:01:21,082 with "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Chocolate Bar."
- 00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:25,336 [gunshots] <i>children: Hurray!</i>
- 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,969 ♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪
- 00:01:34,095 --> 00:01:36,097 ♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪
- 00:01:36,222 --> 00:01:38,140 ♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪
- 00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:42,478 ♪ And a Happy New Year ♪
- 00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,647 Lights, please.
- 00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:46,232 And there were, in the same country,
- 00:01:46,357 --> 00:01:47,900 shepherds abiding in the field,
- 00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:49,652 keeping watch over their flock by night.
- 00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:50,986 And lo the angel of the lord came upon them,
- 00:01:51,112 --> 00:01:52,696 and they were so afraid.
- 00:01:52,822 --> 00:01:54,573 And the angel said unto them, "Fear not,
- 00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:56,367 "for behold, I bring you tidings of great joy.
- 00:01:56,492 --> 00:01:58,911 "For born unto you this day in the City of David,
- 00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:00,746 "is the savior, Jesus Christ, our lord.
- 00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:02,123 "Glory to god in the highest and on earth peace,
- 00:02:02,248 --> 00:02:03,874 and good will towards man."
- 00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:05,918 And now, South Park Elementary presents,
- 00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:08,921 the birth of Jesus.
- 00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:11,507 [grunting]
- 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,676 Come on Mary, push!
- 00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:14,969 I can see its head!
- 00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:18,389 It's a boy.
- 00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:19,640 Oh.
- 00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:20,975 [mumbling]
- 00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:22,768 Wait a minute, wait, wait, wait!
- 00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:24,270 Kyle, what the hell was that?
- 00:02:24,395 --> 00:02:25,521 You need to hold the baby by the legs,
- 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:26,939 not by the head.
- 00:02:27,064 --> 00:02:28,357 What kind of sick weirdo are you?
- 00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:29,942 Sorry. - And Wendy,
- 00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:31,777 I'm still not believing the labor pains.
- 00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:34,196 Okay. - Mr. Garrison,
- 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,866 what the hell do you think you're doing?
- 00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:39,368 Well, I'm trying to direct the school Christmas play.
- 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:42,371 But your son was holding baby Jesus' fetus by the head.
- 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,665 How dare you include the nativity
- 00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:46,292 in a school play!
- 00:02:46,417 --> 00:02:49,170 Don't you realize my son is Jewish?
- 00:02:49,295 --> 00:02:50,880 So?
- 00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:54,300 So what makes you think he should play Joseph?
- 00:02:54,425 --> 00:02:56,218 Because it's Christmas.
- 00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:59,013 Our family doesn't celebrate Christmas.
- 00:02:59,138 --> 00:03:01,098 [all gasp]
- 00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:03,100 You're not gonna lay that Chanukah crap on me, are you?
- 00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:05,019 What, what, what?
- 00:03:05,144 --> 00:03:06,979 You're not going to get away with this Mr. Garrison!
- 00:03:07,104 --> 00:03:09,023 Good, Kyle's mom is here to ruin Christmas!
- 00:03:09,148 --> 00:03:10,608 Shut up fat boy!
- 00:03:10,733 --> 00:03:12,526 I'm not fat, I'm festively plump.
- 00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:14,570 Why are you Jewish on Christmas, Kyle?
- 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,531 Kyle is there anything you can do for the Christmas play
- 00:03:17,656 --> 00:03:19,533 that isn't related to Jesus?
- 00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:22,536 How about the dreidel song, bubby?
- 00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:24,288 I can sing "The Mr. Hankey Song."
- 00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:26,457 The Mr. Hankey Song, how does that go?
- 00:03:26,582 --> 00:03:28,626 ♪ Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo ♪
- 00:03:28,751 --> 00:03:30,294 ♪ He loves me and I love you ♪
- 00:03:30,419 --> 00:03:31,754 Christmas Poo?
- 00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:33,214 What the hell is Christmas Poo?
- 00:03:33,339 --> 00:03:34,673 Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo.
- 00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:35,925 Haven't you guys ever heard of him?
- 00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:37,760 Kyle, that is enough!
- 00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:39,303 See, that's what you get when you raise your child
- 00:03:39,428 --> 00:03:41,013 to be a pagan! - Now, that does it!
- 00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:43,474 I am going straight to the mayor about you!
- 00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:45,643 Wait, wait, wait, I'm sorry.
- 00:03:45,768 --> 00:03:47,019 Was it the pagan remark?
- 00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:48,479 You guys, look.
- 00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:49,980 It's snowing.
- 00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,568 [all cheering]
- 00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:56,195 Whoa! Christmas snow.
- 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:59,198 Try to catch snowflakes on your tongue.
- 00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:00,491 It's fun.
- 00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:09,291 [mumbles] - Oh, sick, dude.
- 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:10,960 Hey! What the hell are you doing?
- 00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:12,211 Jewish people can't eat Christmas snow.
- 00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:13,837 We can too.
- 00:04:13,963 --> 00:04:15,256 No, I think it's against the law, dude.
- 00:04:15,381 --> 00:04:17,258 Officer Barbrady? - What?
- 00:04:17,383 --> 00:04:20,427 Is it illegal for Jews to eat Christmas snow?
- 00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:22,596 Yes. - Damn it!
- 00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:24,640 Hey, come on, guys.
- 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,517 We have to go tell Santa Claus what we want for Christmas.
- 00:04:26,642 --> 00:04:28,143 Yeah, we'll see you later, Kyle.
- 00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:29,770 Guess there's no reason for you to come
- 00:04:29,895 --> 00:04:31,438 since you don't get Christmas presents.
- 00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:33,107 No, but I get Chanukah presents for eight days.
- 00:04:33,232 --> 00:04:34,525 Too bad it's usually a dreidel
- 00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:36,026 or something lame like that.
- 00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:37,945 We'll catch up with you later Kyle.
- 00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:39,655 Wait, I may not have Santa,
- 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,740 but I do have Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo.
- 00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:43,784 What is it this about Christmas Poo, dude?
- 00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:45,619 Mr. Hankey, he comes out of the toilet every year,
- 00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:47,246 and gives presents to everybody
- 00:04:47,371 --> 00:04:48,539 who has a lot of fiber in their diet.
- 00:04:48,664 --> 00:04:50,040 Kyle come on, seriously,
- 00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:51,792 you are really reaching right now.
- 00:04:51,917 --> 00:04:53,210 Well, you're gonna be sorry when you see me
- 00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:54,378 riding around on Santa's sleigh
- 00:04:54,503 --> 00:04:55,963 with Mr. Hankey, fat ass!
- 00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:57,172 You're not gonna ride on Santa's sleigh
- 00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:58,674 because you're a Jew, Kyle.
- 00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,676 See ya' dude.
- 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:12,187 ♪ It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas ♪
- 00:05:12,313 --> 00:05:17,318 ♪ My friends won't let me join in any games ♪
- 00:05:17,443 --> 00:05:19,945 ♪ And I can't sing Christmas songs ♪
- 00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:22,781 ♪ Or decorate a Christmas tree ♪
- 00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:25,617 ♪ Or leave water out for Rudolph ♪
- 00:05:25,743 --> 00:05:28,245 ♪ 'Cause there's something wrong with me ♪
- 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:34,960 ♪ My people don't believe in Jesus Christ's divinity ♪
- 00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:37,087 ♪ I'm a Jew ♪
- 00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:40,049 ♪ A lonely Jew ♪
- 00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:46,013 ♪ On Christmas ♪
- 00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:50,934 ♪ Chanukah is nice but why is it ♪
- 00:05:51,060 --> 00:05:56,398 ♪ That Santa passes over my house every year ♪
- 00:05:56,523 --> 00:06:01,779 ♪ And instead of eating ham I have to eat kosher latkes ♪
- 00:06:01,904 --> 00:06:04,823 ♪ Instead of "Silent Night" I'm singing ♪
- 00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:07,326 [speaking Hebrew]
- 00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:09,370 ♪ And what the [bleep] is up ♪
- 00:06:09,495 --> 00:06:11,205 ♪ With lighting all these [bleep] candles ♪
- 00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:13,791 ♪ Tell me please ♪
- 00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:15,918 ♪ I'm a Jew ♪
- 00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:19,046 ♪ A lonely Jew ♪
- 00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:24,218 ♪ I'd be merry but I'm Hebrew ♪
- 00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:27,471 ♪ On Christmas ♪
- 00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:38,482 [all yelling]
- 00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:42,111 Okay everybody, settle down.
- 00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:45,447 Mayor, we are deeply offended by the nativity scene
- 00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,491 in front of the capital office.
- 00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:49,785 Church and state are separate!
- 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,036 No! - No!
- 00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:52,830 What's going on you guys?
- 00:06:52,955 --> 00:06:54,456 The whole town's pissed off at each other.
- 00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:56,125 It's really sweet. - That isn't all, mayor,
- 00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:58,919 the school play is doing a nativity scene.
- 00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:02,256 It isn't being sensitive to the Jewish community.
- 00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:04,007 You are the Jewish community.
- 00:07:04,133 --> 00:07:05,592 Yeah! - Yeah!
- 00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:07,094 Oh boy, super bitch is at it again.
- 00:07:07,219 --> 00:07:09,054 Don't call my mom a bitch, Cartman!
- 00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:11,223 Mayor, the nativity is what Christmas is all about.
- 00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:12,599 If you remove Christ,
- 00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:14,017 you must remove Santa and Frosty
- 00:07:14,143 --> 00:07:15,561 and all that garbage too!
- 00:07:15,686 --> 00:07:17,312 Hallelujah!
- 00:07:17,438 --> 00:07:18,772 And we must put a stop to
- 00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:20,691 the cutting down of Christmas trees!
- 00:07:20,816 --> 00:07:22,359 Gimme a break!
- 00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:23,569 And I'm sick and tired of those
- 00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:25,320 little flaps on coffee lids!
- 00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:26,905 If you don't want to spill your coffee,
- 00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:29,491 then you shouldn't be drivin' with it!
- 00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:31,118 [silence]
- 00:07:31,243 --> 00:07:33,078 Yeah! Yeah! - Okay people,
- 00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,914 clearly we need to reach a compromise.
- 00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:39,751 Perhaps we need a new icon for Christmas.
- 00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:42,421 Brilliant idea, mayor.
- 00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:45,799 Hey, how about Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo?
- 00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,301 Excuse me?
- 00:07:47,426 --> 00:07:49,052 Oh boy, here we go again.
- 00:07:49,178 --> 00:07:50,804 Mr. Hankey: He comes out of the toilet every year
- 00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:52,347 and gives presents to everybody
- 00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:53,640 who has a lot of fiber in their diet.
- 00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:55,434 Kyle, shh!
- 00:07:55,559 --> 00:07:57,060 It's true, he doesn't care what faith you are.
- 00:07:57,186 --> 00:07:58,687 ♪ Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo ♪
- 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,272 ♪ He loves me and I love you ♪
- 00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:02,983 ♪ Therefore... ♪ - Don't mind him.
- 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:04,735 He's a very disturbed little boy.
- 00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:06,278 [mumbling]
- 00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:08,322 Okay Kyle, we're leaving right now.
- 00:08:08,447 --> 00:08:10,908 Wait! - Anyway, I'll put together
- 00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:13,202 a crack team of my best workers
- 00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:14,828 to make sure this will be
- 00:08:14,953 --> 00:08:16,705 the most non-offensive Christmas ever,
- 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,582 to any religious or minority group of any kind.
- 00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:21,418 Are there any other suggestions?
- 00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:22,961 Yes, Mr. Garrison.
- 00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:27,508 Could we get rid of all the Mexicans?
- 00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:29,051 No, Mr. Garrison,
- 00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:31,720 we cannot get rid of all the Mexicans.
- 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:32,846 Rats!
- 00:08:40,229 --> 00:08:42,022 It is sick and disgusting.
- 00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,357 And we simply will not have it.
- 00:08:43,482 --> 00:08:44,608 Your father's right Kyle.
- 00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:46,235 Sheila, let me handle this.
- 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,278 Having imaginary friends is fine Kyle,
- 00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:49,947 but this simply will not do.
- 00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:51,990 Listen to your father, Kyle.
- 00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:54,034 Now I want you to repeat after me--
- 00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:56,620 there is no such thing as Mr. Hankey.
- 00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:58,914 But Dad, he always... - Say it!
- 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,499 There's no such thing as Mr. Hankey.
- 00:09:00,624 --> 00:09:02,042 Again.
- 00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:03,502 There is no such thing as Mr. Hankey.
- 00:09:03,627 --> 00:09:05,337 This is for your own good, bubby.
- 00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:07,047 Now you go brush your teeth and march into bed.
- 00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,508 You won't be opening your Chanukah present tonight.
- 00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:11,426 Probably just another stupid dreidel anyway.
- 00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:12,761 What did you say?
- 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:13,845 I said Ike's on fire!
- 00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:15,013 Uh-oh.
- 00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:16,473 Oh, my god!
- 00:09:19,268 --> 00:09:20,435 It isn't fair.
- 00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:21,812 I don't wanna be an outcast!
- 00:09:21,937 --> 00:09:22,938 [voice echoing]
- 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,148 I'm not hearing that.
- 00:09:25,274 --> 00:09:28,026 Hello?
- 00:09:28,151 --> 00:09:30,320 Mr. Hankey?
- 00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,739 Howdy-ho!
- 00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:35,784 Howdy-ho Kyle,
- 00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,661 gosh you're looking swell!
- 00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:38,954 Go away Mr. Hankey.
- 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,539 You know something pal?
- 00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:43,292 You smell an awful lot like flowers.
- 00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:45,335 I said go away, my dad says you're not real.
- 00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:46,753 Not real?
- 00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:48,505 Well shucks, if I weren't real,
- 00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:51,717 could I sing this jolly Christmas song?
- 00:09:51,842 --> 00:09:54,052 ♪ Santa Claus is on his way ♪
- 00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:55,679 ♪ A load of goodies on his sleigh ♪
- 00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:57,598 ♪ Dropping off on Christmas day ♪
- 00:09:57,723 --> 00:09:59,266 ♪ And I'll say howdy-ho ♪
- 00:09:59,391 --> 00:10:01,310 Mr. Hankey shh, I'll get in trouble!
- 00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:02,811 ♪ Folks will gather 'round the fire ♪
- 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,646 ♪ Sing a song without a choir ♪
- 00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,315 ♪ Pretty soon they'll all return ♪
- 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,400 ♪ And I'll say howdy-ho ♪
- 00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:10,611 Kyle, what are you doing in there?
- 00:10:10,736 --> 00:10:12,529 Nothing. - Open the door!
- 00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:14,489 ♪ Hope that Santa comes real soon ♪
- 00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:16,325 Mr. Hankey, cut it out!
- 00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:17,701 Huh?
- 00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:21,830 Kyle!
- 00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,081 Say something, Mr. Hankey!
- 00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:28,045 Now you get to sleep
- 00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:29,379 and think about how your poor mother
- 00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:31,048 has to clean that bathroom up!
- 00:10:31,173 --> 00:10:33,008 What, what, what? Me?
- 00:10:36,178 --> 00:10:37,763 Howdy-ho!
- 00:10:37,888 --> 00:10:39,556 Mr. Hankey, where the hell did you go?
- 00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:42,059 You should be wearing socks to sleep Kyle.
- 00:10:42,184 --> 00:10:43,852 You're gonna catch a cold.
- 00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,604 Nobody believes in you, not even my friends.
- 00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:47,898 Gee, that's too bad.
- 00:10:48,023 --> 00:10:49,858 Hey, how about you come to school with me tomorrow?
- 00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:51,860 So I can at least prove I'm not crazy to my friends.
- 00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,821 Say, that sounds like a swell idea.
- 00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:58,158 We can show everyone the true spirit of Christmas.
- 00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:00,035 Yeah, we'll show them.
- 00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:03,413 Okay people, we got to turn this place around.
- 00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:05,248 Take down anything that is offensive
- 00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:07,751 to any specific group.
- 00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:10,337 Is mistletoe offensive?
- 00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:14,508 Is anyone offended by mistletoe?
- 00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:16,885 Lose the mistletoe!
- 00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:19,554 You guys, I'm getting that John Elway
- 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,348 football helmet for Christmas.
- 00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:23,308 How do you know?
- 00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:25,143 'Cause I looked in my parent's closet last night.
- 00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:27,104 Yeah well, I sneaked around my mom's closet too
- 00:11:27,229 --> 00:11:28,980 and saw what I'm getting.
- 00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:31,358 The Ultra Vibe Pleasure 2000.
- 00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:33,026 What's that? - I don't know
- 00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,778 but it sounds pretty sweet.
- 00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:36,196 Hello everybody.
- 00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:37,698 What's in the box dude?
- 00:11:37,823 --> 00:11:39,616 It's a surprise. - Let me see.
- 00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:41,118 Okay, but don't scare him.
- 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:46,957 Dude, sick!
- 00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,419 Is this some kind of Jewish tradition?
- 00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,754 [mumbling]
- 00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:55,132 Wait you guys, he's alive!
- 00:11:55,257 --> 00:11:56,883 Kyle, I think you better get home
- 00:11:57,008 --> 00:11:58,093 and get some sleep.
- 00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,595 Come on, dance! Dance!
- 00:12:00,721 --> 00:12:01,930 Dance damn you!
- 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,807 This is very simple-
- 00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:05,892 I'm going to say words and the computer will measure
- 00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:07,519 how offended you are by them.
- 00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,646 In this way we can find out which words
- 00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:11,898 are least offensive for use in the holiday season.
- 00:12:12,023 --> 00:12:13,608 Are we ready?
- 00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:15,360 Here we go.
- 00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:17,529 Christ. [beeping]
- 00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:18,697 Hmm, okay.
- 00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:19,781 Chair.
- 00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:22,033 [silence]
- 00:12:22,159 --> 00:12:25,036 Camel. [minor beeps]
- 00:12:25,162 --> 00:12:26,705 Sand.
- 00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,915 [silence]
- 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,584 Stupid wop-dago!
- 00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:33,086 [loud beeping]
- 00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:34,713 Bench.
- 00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:40,051 Do you have to take the Christmas tree too?
- 00:12:40,177 --> 00:12:41,970 Mayor's orders.
- 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,472 Okay children, I'm really having
- 00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:45,766 a hard time with our Christmas play.
- 00:12:45,891 --> 00:12:47,642 The new law states we can't sing any songs
- 00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:50,479 having to do with Jesus or Santa Claus.
- 00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:52,564 Thanks to Kyle's mother. - Shut up Cartman!
- 00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:54,232 So does anybody know any non-Santa
- 00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:57,319 or non-Jesus Christmas songs?
- 00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:58,904 Yes, Eric. - How about we sing
- 00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:01,782 "Kyle's mom is a stupid bitch," in D-minor?
- 00:13:01,907 --> 00:13:05,577 I told you not to call my mom a bitch, Cartman!
- 00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,412 ♪ Well, Kyle's mom's a bitch ♪
- 00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:09,206 ♪ She's a big, fat bitch ♪
- 00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:11,166 ♪ She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world ♪
- 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,043 ♪ She's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch ♪
- 00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:14,044 ♪ She's a bitch to all the boys and girls ♪
- 00:13:14,169 --> 00:13:15,796 Shut up Cartman!
- 00:13:15,921 --> 00:13:19,090 Howdy-ho! - Mr. Hankey?
- 00:13:19,216 --> 00:13:20,926 ♪ Monday she's a bitch, on Tuesday's she's a bitch ♪
- 00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:22,636 ♪ And Wednesday through Saturday she's a bitch ♪
- 00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:24,221 ♪ Then on Sunday, just to be different ♪
- 00:13:24,346 --> 00:13:26,765 ♪ She's a super, two-ton megabitch ♪
- 00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,642 Golly, that isn't very nice.
- 00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:31,394 I'd sure like to teach him a lesson.
- 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,188 ♪ Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom ♪
- 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,481 ♪ She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world ♪
- 00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:36,316 ♪ She's a mean old bitch ♪
- 00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:38,026 ♪ If you ask anything of her she's a bitch ♪
- 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,194 ♪ Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch ♪
- 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,487 ♪ She's a stupid bitch ♪
- 00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:42,072 ♪ Kyle's mom's a bitch ♪
- 00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:44,825 ♪ And she's just a dirty bitch ♪
- 00:13:44,950 --> 00:13:48,203 ♪ Kyle's mom, is a ♪
- 00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:52,791 ♪ Bitch ♪
- 00:13:52,916 --> 00:13:55,043 Mr. Hankey, no!
- 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:56,795 What the?
- 00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:57,879 Gross, Kyle!
- 00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,297 Oh my lord Kyle,
- 00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:01,299 did you just throw doo-doo at Eric?
- 00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:02,717 Uh...
- 00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:04,886 You sick bastard!
- 00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:06,388 [laughter]
- 00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:09,057 Now Kyle, as your school counselor,
- 00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:12,477 I want to try to help you confront your problem.
- 00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:14,104 I don't have a problem.
- 00:14:14,229 --> 00:14:15,605 Well it's my understanding that you,
- 00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:19,234 you have an acute case of fecalphilia.
- 00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:20,819 What's that?
- 00:14:20,944 --> 00:14:22,487 Well, a fecalphiliac is somebody
- 00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:24,698 who's obsessed with mookie-stinks, Kyle.
- 00:14:24,823 --> 00:14:26,658 Mookie-stinks?
- 00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:29,119 I also understand you're Jewish; is that right Kyle?
- 00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:31,079 Not on purpose.
- 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,414 So this must be a pretty hard time of year for you,
- 00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:33,748 being Christmas and all.
- 00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:35,458 Do the other kids make fun of you?
- 00:14:35,584 --> 00:14:36,877 Sometimes.
- 00:14:37,002 --> 00:14:38,670 That must make you mad. - Sure.
- 00:14:38,795 --> 00:14:41,923 Mad enough to kill, Kyle?
- 00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:44,050 No dude! - Well, that's good.
- 00:14:44,175 --> 00:14:46,928 You see Kyle, sometimes we feel like an outsider,
- 00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:50,307 we create friends, okay, in our minds, okay?
- 00:14:50,432 --> 00:14:51,850 But Mr. Hankey seems so real.
- 00:14:51,975 --> 00:14:53,310 Well, of course he does,
- 00:14:53,435 --> 00:14:54,728 in your screwed up little head,
- 00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:57,230 he's the only friend you have.
- 00:14:57,355 --> 00:15:01,359 Kyle! Howdy-ho!
- 00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:04,154 Right now you're nuttier than Chinese chicken salad.
- 00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:07,032 I mean you're one screwed up little kid.
- 00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:11,369 Do you understand?
- 00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:13,079 So try and stay positive,
- 00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:14,664 stay away from drugs and alcohol.
- 00:15:14,789 --> 00:15:16,416 And in the meantime,
- 00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,752 I'm gonna put on a heavy regimen of Prozac...
- 00:15:18,877 --> 00:15:21,046 [gasps]
- 00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:24,966 Oh, oh my God, you sick little monkey!
- 00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:26,509 Okay children,
- 00:15:26,635 --> 00:15:28,011 we just received word from the mayor
- 00:15:28,136 --> 00:15:29,554 that the Christmas play
- 00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:31,264 can't include any Christmas lights,
- 00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:35,143 since they offend people with epilepsy.
- 00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:36,645 So Kenny, would you please go over
- 00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:38,688 and pull the light cords out of the wall?
- 00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:43,443 Careful now Kenny,
- 00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,070 those are very, very dangerous.
- 00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:52,869 Okay, now let's practice our...
- 00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:54,412 No, get away from me!
- 00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:55,789 Here, just look more closely at it.
- 00:15:55,914 --> 00:15:57,624 No, go away!
- 00:15:57,749 --> 00:16:00,085 Stan, you need to do something about your friend.
- 00:16:00,210 --> 00:16:01,795 Okay?
- 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:03,213 Get him out of here before he hurts anybody!
- 00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:04,589 Okay?
- 00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:09,135 Hello, we need to commit our friend Kyle, please.
- 00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:11,096 Reason?
- 00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:12,305 I'm a clinically depressed fecalphiliac on Prozac.
- 00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:14,224 Any allergies? - No.
- 00:16:14,349 --> 00:16:17,936 Jacket!
- 00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:19,980 Bye Kyle, happy Chanukah.
- 00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:26,236 Okay children,
- 00:16:26,361 --> 00:16:28,738 does everyone have their leotards on?
- 00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:32,617 Good, it looks like they've taken the Christmas trees down.
- 00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:35,120 Yes, and there's nothing Christian either.
- 00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:36,955 This should be great.
- 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,499 Oh, this could be such a wonderful Christmas play.
- 00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:41,751 I wish our little Kyle was here to see it.
- 00:16:41,876 --> 00:16:43,044 ♪ Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel ♪
- 00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:44,462 ♪ I made you out of clay ♪
- 00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:45,797 ♪ Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel ♪
- 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,298 ♪ With dreidel I will play ♪
- 00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:48,717 Second verse, same as the first!
- 00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:50,593 ♪ Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel ♪
- 00:16:50,719 --> 00:16:52,345 Welcome to the South Park elementary holiday...
- 00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:54,681 Wait, wait, there's a star above the stage.
- 00:16:54,806 --> 00:16:57,017 That's very offensive to non-Christians.
- 00:16:57,142 --> 00:16:58,768 Oh come on.
- 00:16:58,893 --> 00:17:01,104 Hey, don't push your beliefs on me, buddy!
- 00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:03,523 I agree. - Oh brother!
- 00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:05,358 Kenny would you please climb that ladder
- 00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:07,444 and take down the star above the stage.
- 00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:09,112 And be careful not to fall
- 00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:10,739 in that little pool below you Kenny.
- 00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,323 The shark for the third act is in there.
- 00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,617 Hmm?
- 00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:16,494 Ladies and gentlemen,
- 00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:18,955 welcome to the South Park Elementary holiday experience.
- 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,665 Before we bring out the kiddies for the play,
- 00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:23,043 here's a non-offensive, non-denominational
- 00:17:23,168 --> 00:17:25,962 holiday song by the school chef.
- 00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:30,050 ♪ I'm gonna lay you down by the yule log ♪
- 00:17:30,175 --> 00:17:33,303 ♪ I'm gonna love you right ♪
- 00:17:33,428 --> 00:17:36,056 ♪ Baby I'm gonna deck your halls ♪
- 00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:39,476 ♪ And silent your night ♪
- 00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:42,479 ♪ You'll hear the angel's sing ♪
- 00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:45,648 ♪ When I'm sliding off your bra ♪
- 00:17:45,774 --> 00:17:48,860 ♪ I just can't wait to jingle your bells ♪
- 00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:51,905 ♪ And fa-la-la your la ♪
- 00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:53,490 I wish Kyle was here.
- 00:17:53,615 --> 00:17:55,200 It just doesn't seem right without him.
- 00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:56,409 Yeah, old Kyle's gonna be locked up for a while,
- 00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:58,161 so get used to it.
- 00:17:58,286 --> 00:18:00,371 Okay kids, get ready to take your places.
- 00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:01,623 Thank you, Chef.
- 00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:05,293 [cheers and applause]
- 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,587 And now South Park Elementary presents
- 00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:09,464 the happy, non-offensive non-denominational
- 00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,424 Christmas play.
- 00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:14,385 With music and lyrics by New York minimalist composer,
- 00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:15,804 Phillip Glass.
- 00:18:19,349 --> 00:18:22,519 As I turn and look into the sun,
- 00:18:22,644 --> 00:18:26,731 the rays burn my eyes.
- 00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:30,360 How like a turtle, the sun looks.
- 00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:32,403 What the hell is this?
- 00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:36,324 This is horrible.
- 00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,701 This is the most god-awful piece of crap I've ever seen.
- 00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:40,787 Hey, you're the ones who made it this way.
- 00:18:40,912 --> 00:18:42,914 Because the Jews said it couldn't be Christian.
- 00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:45,416 It wasn't our idea to take out Santa Claus.
- 00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:47,252 All you bastards ruined Christmas!
- 00:18:48,253 --> 00:18:49,420 Get 'em in the ribs!
- 00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:50,672 Get 'em!
- 00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,423 This sucks dude.
- 00:18:52,549 --> 00:18:54,092 This is like the worst Christmas I've ever seen.
- 00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:55,218 Yeah.
- 00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:57,929 Say where's Kyle?
- 00:18:58,054 --> 00:19:00,056 We committed him. - What? Why?
- 00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:02,475 'Cause he kept seeing this little brown piece
- 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,310 of Christmas Poo everywhere that he went.
- 00:19:04,435 --> 00:19:07,480 Christmas Poo? You mean Mr. Hankey?
- 00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:09,065 Huh? Uh-oh!
- 00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:14,529 Say kids, why the long faces?
- 00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:17,031 We're bored. - There's nothing to do.
- 00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:19,742 Well maybe this will help.
- 00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:21,828 Yay, Mr. Hankey construction set!
- 00:19:21,953 --> 00:19:23,746 <i>That's right kids,</i>
- 00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:25,540 <i>now you can make your very own Mr. Hankey!</i>
- 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,167 <i>Just use the special fecal fishing net,</i>
- 00:19:27,292 --> 00:19:29,210 <i>and select your best Mr. Hankey.</i>
- 00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:31,171 That one!
- 00:19:31,296 --> 00:19:32,964 <i>Then use the hand-crafted Hankey stern to add</i>
- 00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:33,965 <i>whatever eyes, mouth, and hats you want.</i>
- 00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:35,592 Howdy-ho!
- 00:19:35,717 --> 00:19:37,218 I made a mariachi Mr. Hankey.
- 00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:38,928 Now it's a Mrs. Hankey.
- 00:19:39,053 --> 00:19:40,722 Let's put the fez hat on him.
- 00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:43,558 I wish Daddy was still alive.
- 00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:46,394 <i>Mr. Hankey play set comes with everything seen.</i>
- 00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:49,230 Hey, where's Mr. Hankey?
- 00:19:50,815 --> 00:19:53,943 [laughter]
- 00:19:54,068 --> 00:19:54,986 I love you sweetheart.
- 00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:56,529 I love you too.
- 00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:03,411 This is horrible, everybody is fighting
- 00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,163 and my best friend is in an institution.
- 00:20:05,288 --> 00:20:06,956 All because we didn't believe in Mr. Hankey.
- 00:20:07,081 --> 00:20:08,833 Well, you can believe in him now.
- 00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:11,920 I believe.
- 00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:15,256 I believe in Mr. Hankey.
- 00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:18,051 Howdy-ho.
- 00:20:18,176 --> 00:20:20,011 Huh? - Howdy folks.
- 00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:23,306 Gosh, you sure do smell nice and flowery.
- 00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:26,059 Whoa! - Howdy-ho Chef.
- 00:20:26,184 --> 00:20:28,228 Howdy-ho Mr. Hankey.
- 00:20:28,353 --> 00:20:29,687 Okay, that does it.
- 00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:31,731 Screw you guys, I'm going home.
- 00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:34,067 Talking poo is where I draw the line.
- 00:20:34,192 --> 00:20:35,944 What's all the ruckus?
- 00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:37,654 I'm glad you're here Mr. Hankey.
- 00:20:37,779 --> 00:20:39,364 The whole town is about to kill each other.
- 00:20:39,489 --> 00:20:42,200 I reckon this could be a job for Mr. Hankey.
- 00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:46,120 [whistles]
- 00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:47,789 Stop fighting.
- 00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:50,750 Oh my god, what the hell is that thing?
- 00:20:50,875 --> 00:20:53,253 Come on gang, don't fight.
- 00:20:53,378 --> 00:20:55,213 You people focus so hard
- 00:20:55,338 --> 00:20:57,423 on the things wrong with Christmas,
- 00:20:57,548 --> 00:21:01,594 that you've forgotten what's so right about it.
- 00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:03,179 Don't you see?
- 00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:04,847 This is the one time of year
- 00:21:04,973 --> 00:21:07,600 we're supposed to forget all the bad stuff.
- 00:21:07,725 --> 00:21:11,145 Stop worrying and being sad about the state of the world,
- 00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:14,649 and for just one day say "Ah, the heck with it."
- 00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:18,069 Let's sing and dance and bake cookies.
- 00:21:21,906 --> 00:21:23,366 [single clap]
- 00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:29,289 [cheers and applause]
- 00:21:29,414 --> 00:21:31,708 Dude, this is pretty [bleep] up.
- 00:21:31,833 --> 00:21:35,461 ♪ I'm a Jew, a lonely Jew ♪
- 00:21:35,586 --> 00:21:37,714 Howdy-ho, Kyle!
- 00:21:37,839 --> 00:21:39,549 Oh no... I'm not sane yet.
- 00:21:39,674 --> 00:21:41,843 I brought some friends with me.
- 00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:42,969 Friends?
- 00:21:46,597 --> 00:21:49,475 all: Merry Christmas, Kyle Broslovski!
- 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:50,476 You mean you can see him?
- 00:21:50,601 --> 00:21:52,061 I'm not crazy?
- 00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:56,691 ♪ Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo ♪
- 00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:58,901 ♪ He loves me I love you ♪
- 00:21:59,027 --> 00:22:01,487 ♪ Therefore vicariously he loves you ♪
- 00:22:01,612 --> 00:22:03,823 ♪ Even if you're a Jew ♪
- 00:22:03,948 --> 00:22:06,200 ♪ Sometimes he's nutty, sometimes he's corny ♪
- 00:22:06,326 --> 00:22:08,953 ♪ He can be brown or greenish brown ♪
- 00:22:09,078 --> 00:22:11,497 ♪ But if you eat fiber on Christmas eve ♪
- 00:22:11,622 --> 00:22:13,833 ♪ He might come to your town ♪
- 00:22:13,958 --> 00:22:15,418 ♪ Mr. Hankey... ♪
- 00:22:15,543 --> 00:22:18,338 Well, I got a long night ahead of me.
- 00:22:18,463 --> 00:22:20,381 Bye-bye, and Merry Christmas.
- 00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:21,966 Goodbye, Mr. Hankey.
- 00:22:22,091 --> 00:22:23,134 Bring me lots of presents!
- 00:22:23,259 --> 00:22:24,886 I always believed in you.
- 00:22:25,011 --> 00:22:27,180 [Santa] Howdy-ho, ho, ho!
- 00:22:27,305 --> 00:22:28,806 You know, I learned something today.
- 00:22:28,931 --> 00:22:30,600 I learned that Jewish people are okay.
- 00:22:30,725 --> 00:22:32,393 And that Chanukah can be cool too.
- 00:22:32,518 --> 00:22:33,686 Yeah.
- 00:22:35,104 --> 00:22:37,440 You know it seems like something's still not right.
- 00:22:37,565 --> 00:22:41,194 Yeah something feels unfinished.
- 00:22:41,319 --> 00:22:42,820 Well, what could it be?
- 00:22:45,865 --> 00:22:47,325 Woo-hoo hoo!
- 00:22:53,956 --> 00:22:56,584 ♪ Happy birthday to me ♪
- 00:22:56,709 --> 00:22:59,504 ♪ Happy birthday to me ♪
Скриншоты
