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Кошмарный Марвин
Starvin' Marvin
Сезон: 01Серия: 08
Описание
Наступает День благодарения. Дети знакомятся с мальчиком из Эфиопии, которого им по ошибке прислали вместо наручных часов. Доктор Мефесто, пытаясь генетически модифицировать индеек, превращает их в убийц.
Субтитры
- 00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:06,090 Hidey ho, all you "South Park"-a-teers out there.
- 00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:07,383 <i>Hidey ho!</i>
- 00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:08,968 I'm rootin' tootin' Trey Parker.
- 00:00:09,093 --> 00:00:10,302 And I'm pistol-slingin' Matt Stone.
- 00:00:10,428 --> 00:00:11,429 And this here's old Scratch.
- 00:00:11,554 --> 00:00:12,805 Say hi, old fella.
- 00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:14,390 <i>Hi, Scratch.</i>
- 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:15,933 You know, Matt and I are right excited
- 00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:17,685 about this next episode of "South Park,"
- 00:00:17,810 --> 00:00:19,687 because it's our favorite episode.
- 00:00:19,812 --> 00:00:21,731 That's right. It's called "Starvin' Marvin,"
- 00:00:21,856 --> 00:00:23,607 and it originally aired on Thanksgiving.
- 00:00:23,733 --> 00:00:25,568 In it, the boys celebrate the holiday
- 00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,570 with a visitor from a far-off land.
- 00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:29,780 You know, when Comedy Central Called us and asked us
- 00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:31,407 to do a Thanksgiving special,
- 00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,534 the first thing that went through my mind was,
- 00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:36,495 "Boy, I'd like to have sex with Jennifer Aniston."
- 00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:38,914 Cup her perky breasts in my hands
- 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:40,791 and put my hand back and kind of--
- 00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:42,626 nice little tight buns there.
- 00:00:42,752 --> 00:00:44,420 But you know, the thing about this episode
- 00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,380 is that it teaches racial tolerance,
- 00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:47,882 to treat everyone as an equal regardless
- 00:00:48,007 --> 00:00:49,550 of the color of their skin.
- 00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:51,093 Oh, look, it's our Indian friend,
- 00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:52,553 Indian Companion. Say hi, kids.
- 00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:54,138 <i>Hi!</i>
- 00:00:54,263 --> 00:00:55,765 What's happenin', Indian Companion?
- 00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:58,934 Something coming. Grizzly bear.
- 00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:00,352 Oh, well, why don't you go over there
- 00:01:00,478 --> 00:01:01,896 and kick him in the balls?
- 00:01:02,021 --> 00:01:04,815 Grizzly bears like being kicked in the balls.
- 00:01:06,692 --> 00:01:08,611 Dumb ass. - He's so stupid.
- 00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,613 Well, why don't you all sit back and have
- 00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:13,407 a rootin' tootin' good time with "Starvin' Marvin"?
- 00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:16,327 Yee-ha!
- 00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:20,414 <i>Hooray!</i>
- 00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:31,675 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:01:31,801 --> 00:01:33,511 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:01:33,636 --> 00:01:35,304 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:36,931 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:01:37,056 --> 00:01:38,390 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
- 00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:40,351 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:01:40,476 --> 00:01:42,061 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:43,813 ♪ People spouting: "Howdy neighbor." ♪
- 00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:45,314 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
- 00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,024 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:01:50,528 --> 00:01:51,904 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:53,823 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:01:57,368 --> 00:01:58,786 That was awesome! - Yeah!
- 00:01:58,911 --> 00:02:00,913 Would you boys like some Cheesy Poofs?
- 00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:02,832 Get out of the way, mom!
- 00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:04,250 The "Terrance and Phillip" Thanksgiving Special is on.
- 00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:05,751 Sure, hon.
- 00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:07,336 And yeah, we want Cheesy Poofs!
- 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:08,838 Hey, Terrance, looks like this might
- 00:02:08,963 --> 00:02:10,756 be a good place to start a new colony.
- 00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:12,174 It sure does, Phillip.
- 00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:13,592 No one will oppress our religion here.
- 00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:19,515 You stained my pilgrim hat, butt-pipe!
- 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,642 Did you guys see that? That was sweet.
- 00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:23,727 Coming up next on the "Terrance and Phillip"
- 00:02:23,853 --> 00:02:26,313 Thanksgiving Special, Phillip farts on Terrance and laughs.
- 00:02:26,438 --> 00:02:27,648 Oh, cool.
- 00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:29,483 And now a word from our sponsor.
- 00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:31,694 Here in the heart of Africa, children are dying.
- 00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:33,612 Not from disease or war, but from hunger.
- 00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:35,656 I'm Sally Struthers.
- 00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:38,117 These children are in desperate need, and only you can help.
- 00:02:38,242 --> 00:02:39,994 Hey, who's that fat chick?
- 00:02:40,119 --> 00:02:41,287 Sally Struthers, dude. She used to be on "Full House."
- 00:02:41,412 --> 00:02:42,746 Oh.
- 00:02:42,872 --> 00:02:44,957 You see, here, in the middle of Africa,
- 00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:46,750 food is extremely scarce.
- 00:02:46,876 --> 00:02:47,835 Doesn't look like she's having
- 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,336 any trouble finding food.
- 00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:50,337 Yeah, she's fatter than Cartman.
- 00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:52,214 Yeah. Hey!
- 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:55,259 For just $5 a month, you can sponsor a child.
- 00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:57,678 That's stupid, who the hell would want to do that?
- 00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,638 Sponsor now, and we'll also
- 00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:02,641 send you this Teiko digital sports watch as a free gift.
- 00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:03,809 Kick ass!
- 00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:05,603 Sweet! - Whoo-hoo!
- 00:03:05,728 --> 00:03:08,272 I'll call--I know my mom's credit card number.
- 00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:09,857 Did they say if it's waterproof?
- 00:03:09,982 --> 00:03:12,067 Hello? Is this Sally Struthers?
- 00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:13,736 Oh. - What did she say?
- 00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,613 Shut up butt-pirate, I'm trying to hear.
- 00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:17,823 Ass-rammer. - Yeah? Yeah.
- 00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:19,533 We want to adopt a starving Ether-nopian.
- 00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,160 When do we get the sports watch?
- 00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:24,288 Just a second fat-ass! - You vas-deferens!
- 00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:26,540 Hello? No, no, it's a ma--
- 00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:28,876 Vas-deferens?
- 00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:30,669 Oh.
- 00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:32,546 Ask her if we get the watch right away.
- 00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:34,924 Do we get the sports watch right away?
- 00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:36,800 - She says we do. - Cool.
- 00:03:36,926 --> 00:03:40,304 I get to wear it first, you guys.
- 00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:41,764 I can't wait to get out of school
- 00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:43,307 and get our Teiko sports watch.
- 00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:45,100 Yeah, but I get to wear it first, I said.
- 00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:47,937 Children, children! To honor this special time
- 00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:50,439 of year, we'll be doing a canned food drive.
- 00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,858 Does anybody know what a canned food drive is?
- 00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:54,401 Yes, Eric?
- 00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:56,070 When they cut up a chick's stomach
- 00:03:56,195 --> 00:03:58,113 to get a baby out?
- 00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:01,283 No, that's a Caesarian Section, Eric, but that's okay,
- 00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:04,578 remember, there are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
- 00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:07,039 A canned food drive is when we collect canned food
- 00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:09,708 for poor people who can't afford to eat on Thanksgiving.
- 00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:12,044 You mean, like Kenny? - Exactly.
- 00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:13,796 Mr. Garrison?
- 00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:15,798 Why do poor people always smell like sour milk?
- 00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:18,050 I don't know, Eric, they just do.
- 00:04:19,802 --> 00:04:21,053 Now, children, I want each of you to bring
- 00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:22,638 in one can of food.
- 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,640 And later, the mayor of South Park will
- 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:27,643 divide it up amongst Kenny's family and other poor people.
- 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,979 I'm not bringing in food for poor people, screw them!
- 00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:32,564 Don't you want to help those who are less fortunate?
- 00:04:32,690 --> 00:04:34,858 Hey you guys, do you hear something?
- 00:04:34,984 --> 00:04:37,069 I--I think I hear the flower children calling!
- 00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:38,946 This is the one time of year
- 00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:41,657 you're supposed to care about people who can't eat!
- 00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,534 Isn't it enough that I pay taxes?
- 00:04:43,659 --> 00:04:45,577 What about the poor houses that I pay for?
- 00:04:45,703 --> 00:04:48,998 Many would rather die than go to those places!
- 00:04:49,123 --> 00:04:50,541 Well then, perhaps they should,
- 00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:52,334 and decrease the surplus population!
- 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,712 Okay, kids, that's enough Dickens for one day.
- 00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:56,880 Let's get on with our lesson, right, Mr. Hat?
- 00:04:57,006 --> 00:04:58,716 That's right, Mr. Garrison,
- 00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:00,634 Englebert Humperdink was the first person
- 00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:02,052 on the moon. Who was the second?
- 00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:06,640 Aaaah!
- 00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:09,601 What the hell is going on? - Aaaah!
- 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:22,531 Well, you don't see that every day.
- 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:26,035 Okay, now, once we have all the canned foods collected,
- 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:29,246 we'll need some clever way to distribute them to the poor.
- 00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:31,582 It should be something festive.
- 00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:34,418 Mayor, we've got a very big problem.
- 00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:35,794 Ah, you're that insane genetic engineer
- 00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:37,671 from up on the hill, right?
- 00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:40,507 Yes, and I may have made a horrible mistake.
- 00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:42,259 I was trying to genetically engineer
- 00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:43,260 turkeys for Thanksgiving.
- 00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:44,928 Uh-huh.
- 00:05:45,054 --> 00:05:46,096 You know, to provide food for the needy.
- 00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:48,057 Of course.
- 00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:50,642 Well, something went wrong and the turkeys broke free.
- 00:05:50,768 --> 00:05:54,229 And the worst part is, they're really pissed off.
- 00:05:54,355 --> 00:05:58,650 Naturally. Oh, do go on.
- 00:05:58,776 --> 00:06:01,278 We have to stop them or--or they could destroy everything.
- 00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:02,863 Time is short.
- 00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:06,784 You were saying?
- 00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:09,912 They act just like normal turkeys, except they're evil.
- 00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:12,873 Oh, my!
- 00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:18,170 Somehow I don't think you're taking me seriously.
- 00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:21,882 Now why would you say that?
- 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:24,176 Did it come? Did it come? Is it here yet?
- 00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,762 I get to use it first, you guys!
- 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:29,890 Mom, did our digital sports watch come yet?
- 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,600 Not yet, hon.
- 00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,811 Damn. - Hey, look, you guys.
- 00:06:33,936 --> 00:06:36,355 And now, back to Part 2 of the "Terrance and Phillip"
- 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,732 Thanksgiving Special.
- 00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:40,025 I sure am cold, Phillip.
- 00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:41,777 Yes, and hungry too.
- 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,862 Being a pilgrim totally sucks ass.
- 00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:45,489 Gosh, I hope we don't starve.
- 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:50,619 Ah, a squeaker!
- 00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:56,917 The digital sports watch is here!
- 00:07:00,129 --> 00:07:01,964 What the hell?
- 00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:04,091 Dude, that's not a digital sports watch.
- 00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:06,718 Hey, it looks like one of those Ether-opians.
- 00:07:06,844 --> 00:07:08,637 Oh, man, they must have accidentally sent him
- 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,139 instead of the sports watch.
- 00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:11,723 Maybe they took it literally when we said
- 00:07:11,849 --> 00:07:12,933 we wanted to adopt a kid.
- 00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:16,937 Whoa! That was cool.
- 00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:18,730 Yeah, how did he make those clicking sounds?
- 00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:20,774 What's your name dude? - Mabin.
- 00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:22,359 I think he said his name is Marvin.
- 00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:24,903 Yeah, Starvin' Marvin.
- 00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:26,989 Nice to meet you, Starvin' Marvin.
- 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:28,991 Hey, mom? - Yes, hon?
- 00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:31,702 We found a Ether-opian, can we keep him?
- 00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:34,496 Sure, hon. - Sweet.
- 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,540 Dude, let's bring him to school tomorrow.
- 00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:38,083 Come on, Starvin' Marvin,
- 00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:39,626 I want you to meet my little brother.
- 00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:41,795 No, no! He's my son! I adopted him.
- 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,172 It was my mom's credit card.
- 00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:44,840 Okay, okay, we'll switch off.
- 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,091 Starvin' Marvin can stay here for a week,
- 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,177 then at Stan's, then with me.
- 00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:50,262 Yeah, and never with Kenny, because his family is too poor.
- 00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:51,680 Totally. - Ahh!
- 00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:56,351 Look how the leaves fall so delicately
- 00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:58,061 on the surface of the pond.
- 00:07:58,187 --> 00:08:00,147 It's so beautiful.
- 00:08:00,272 --> 00:08:04,359 Not as beautiful as you.
- 00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:10,199 Oh, darling, look. Thanksgiving turkeys.
- 00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:15,287 Oh, they're so beautiful. - Not as beautiful as you.
- 00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:18,499 Look at the way they foam at the mouth,
- 00:08:18,624 --> 00:08:23,337 like beautiful suds of beer. - Not as beautiful as-
- 00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:33,347 This is a great way for you
- 00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:35,140 to experience America, Starvin' Marvin.
- 00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,100 This is what we call an 'all you can eat buffet.
- 00:08:37,226 --> 00:08:40,437 Yeah, here you get to eat all you want for only $6.99.
- 00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:42,481 That's why we all come here on Tuesday nights,
- 00:08:42,606 --> 00:08:43,941 except for Kenny's family, 'cause to them,
- 00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:45,400 $6.99 is two years' income.
- 00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:49,071 Why is your family poor, Starvin' Marvin?
- 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:52,199 Is your dad an alcoholic too?
- 00:08:52,324 --> 00:08:53,700 You see, Starvin' Marvin,
- 00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:55,911 these are what we call appetizers.
- 00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,496 Ap-ee-tizer.
- 00:08:57,621 --> 00:08:59,414 This is what you eat before you eat,
- 00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:02,334 to make you more hungry.
- 00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:05,212 Well, food is here, that's it for the appetizers.
- 00:09:08,924 --> 00:09:11,843 No, Starvin' Marvin, that's my pot-pie.
- 00:09:11,969 --> 00:09:13,804 Cartman, you butt-pipe, this is the time of year you're
- 00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:16,765 supposed to share. - Oh yeah, you're right.
- 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,725 Are you gonna eat all of your peach cobbler?
- 00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:21,144 No, you don't want all that. Why don't you share it with me?
- 00:09:21,270 --> 00:09:22,938 Just shove it on over here.
- 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,232 Let me just have some of that, huh?
- 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,777 Children, children!
- 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,655 I'm a little disappointed in your Thanksgiving spirit.
- 00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,156 Only a few cans have been
- 00:09:33,282 --> 00:09:35,409 donated to our canned food drive.
- 00:09:35,534 --> 00:09:37,369 And can't we do a little better than
- 00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:38,912 creamed corn...
- 00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:42,874 creamed corn... and...creamed corn?
- 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,210 Please bring in more diverse food, children, or else
- 00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:49,006 Kenny's family is going to have a pretty corny Thanksgiving.
- 00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:55,929 Corny. Gravy.
- 00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:58,307 Corny Thanksgiving, hoo!
- 00:10:00,142 --> 00:10:02,185 Anyway, children, I understand a few of you have
- 00:10:02,311 --> 00:10:04,354 brought in something special for show-and-tell.
- 00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:06,106 Yeah, yeah, we do!
- 00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:09,735 All right, boys, show us what you've brought.
- 00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:14,531 This is our new Ether-nopian, Starvin' Marvin.
- 00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:16,325 He can do really cool stuff with his voice.
- 00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:18,160 Show 'em, Starvin' Marvin.
- 00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:21,538 No, Starvin' Marvin, that's Kenny's creamed corn.
- 00:10:21,663 --> 00:10:24,041 No, Starvin' Marvin, that's a bad Starvin' Marvin!
- 00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:25,751 Boys, what the hell are you doing?
- 00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:27,336 This is horribly, horribly wrong.
- 00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:28,920 How did you get this child?
- 00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:30,255 He was accidentally delivered to us
- 00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:31,840 instead of a sports watch.
- 00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,550 The sports watch from the commercial?
- 00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:35,719 Yeah, that one. - I want a Starvin' Marvin.
- 00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:38,639 Me too. - Yes, I'll pay $50 for one.
- 00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:42,976 Boys, you're too young to take care of a child.
- 00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:44,686 I'm afraid I'm going to have to call
- 00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,271 the Red Cross and have him returned.
- 00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:47,773 Ah, I told you we shouldn't have
- 00:10:47,898 --> 00:10:49,232 brought him to school dude.
- 00:10:49,358 --> 00:10:51,068 Okay, thank you very much.
- 00:10:51,193 --> 00:10:53,236 Yes, you can pick him up tonight. Bye now.
- 00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:54,821 Now, boys, I hope you've learned your lesson.
- 00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:56,281 No.
- 00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:57,741 You can't care for this child!
- 00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:58,950 But I thought we were supposed
- 00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:00,410 to care on Thanksgiving.
- 00:11:00,535 --> 00:11:01,870 Yes, but you don't actually get
- 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,413 involved with the child's lives.
- 00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:05,040 You're supposed to just send money,
- 00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,291 and once in a while they write you a letter.
- 00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:07,793 You see, Marvin didn't grow up
- 00:11:07,918 --> 00:11:09,294 in a normal place like South Park.
- 00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,004 So why can't he live here now?
- 00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:13,131 Because he can't! - Because why?
- 00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:15,050 Because eight year olds can't be parents!
- 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,760 Then you take care of him.
- 00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:20,555 I can't. I--Umm, I'm very busy.
- 00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:22,891 I send my $5 a month, see?
- 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,686 This sucks, Starvin' Marvin is our friend.
- 00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:27,437 Oh well, back to the poor country with you.
- 00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,064 You better watch what you say, Cartman!
- 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,774 You might be poor and hungry some day.
- 00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:32,776 Yeah, right.
- 00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:36,363 I knew that you were the only person
- 00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:37,948 who would listen to me, Chef.
- 00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:39,825 Yeah, well, let's get it over with.
- 00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:42,369 This place gives me the Bubujeebies.
- 00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:45,330 Look here in my microscope. Tell me what you see.
- 00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:49,501 Uhh, I see an extreme close-up
- 00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:52,170 of Vanessa Redgrave's private parts.
- 00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:53,839 Oh, whoops.
- 00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:56,425 Now tell me what you see.
- 00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:58,552 Well, I'm no biologist,
- 00:11:58,677 --> 00:12:00,679 but I'd say it looks like turkey DNA.
- 00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:03,223 Precisely, but look how rapidly it's dividing.
- 00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:05,183 What does it mean?
- 00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:08,270 Means the turkeys are growing at an exponential rate.
- 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:11,606 If we don't destroy them all, they'll take over the town.
- 00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:15,485 Maybe the world. - Oh, fudge!
- 00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:18,947 Uhh, let me see that Vanessa Redgrave thing again.
- 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,366 Sure.
- 00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:27,497 Hello there, little boy, we're looking for a starving
- 00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:29,666 African child who was accidentally sent here instead
- 00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:33,044 of a Teiko sports watch.
- 00:12:37,716 --> 00:12:39,593 Hey, hey, what's going on?
- 00:12:39,718 --> 00:12:42,512 Hey, let go of me! Hey!
- 00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:44,431 Hey! I'll kick you in the nuts. Okay, man?
- 00:12:44,556 --> 00:12:46,892 Here's your sports watch, son, sorry for the mix-up.
- 00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:48,727 Hey! Hey, seriously!
- 00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:50,645 Hey, you're pissing me off!
- 00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:52,898 Sweet.
- 00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,529 So how does this thing work?
- 00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:01,323 Well mayor, it's based on the cash grab,
- 00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:02,783 but instead of money, the cans of food
- 00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:04,826 are blown around inside the capsule.
- 00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:07,746 The pov inside catches as many as he can to feed his family.
- 00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:10,624 Pov? - Poverty stricken citizen.
- 00:13:10,749 --> 00:13:12,751 Oh-ho-ho, brilliant.
- 00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:20,342 What the hell is this?
- 00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:21,968 I don't know, mayor,
- 00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:23,470 I don't think it's listed on the program.
- 00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:25,305 They're increasing in number, mayor.
- 00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:27,265 These are the vicious turkeys I warned you about.
- 00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:29,392 It's true mayor!
- 00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:32,103 Those turkeys just ripped apart my cafeteria!
- 00:13:32,229 --> 00:13:33,814 Whoa!
- 00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:36,441 You won't get away with this, you bastards!
- 00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:39,110 Wow! Those are some pissed off turkeys!
- 00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:45,408 Okay, people, don't panic! Bring out the defense squad!
- 00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,623 We need more than that!
- 00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:53,959 They'll only come back in increased numbers!
- 00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:58,213 Hey, Phillip, could you pass the beans?
- 00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,131 Beans? Uh oh, looks like we'll be
- 00:14:00,257 --> 00:14:02,050 at war with these Indians soon.
- 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,594 Wait, wait, wait.
- 00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:07,055 Here it comes.
- 00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:10,267 Aaaaah, I crapped in my pants!
- 00:14:10,392 --> 00:14:12,143 Aaaah!
- 00:14:12,269 --> 00:14:14,521 I think you got some spatter on Chief Running Wolf.
- 00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:16,565 I spattered his face!
- 00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:19,442 Now he's a smelly Indian!
- 00:14:19,568 --> 00:14:22,070 We'll be back to part 14 of the "Terrance and Phillip"
- 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,531 Thanksgiving Special, right after this.
- 00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:27,534 Hunger is an enemy that we all must fight.
- 00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:30,328 These children desperately need your support.
- 00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:32,581 Hey, somebody get me out of here!
- 00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:34,875 This sucks! So please,
- 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,960 call and adopt a child today.
- 00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:39,462 I'm seriously getting pissed off over here!!
- 00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:42,090 You want some more Cheesy Poofs, hon?
- 00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,884 Ya, I won da Cheesy Poof.
- 00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:46,845 Okay. - Sweet.
- 00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:49,264 This is serious bull!
- 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:52,559 There has to be a Happy Burger around here somewhere.
- 00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:57,606 Excuse me, I am a lost little boy--Could you help me?
- 00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:01,568 Well, screw you too!
- 00:15:01,693 --> 00:15:04,321 What the--Who the hell let all these flies in here?
- 00:15:04,446 --> 00:15:08,033 Hasn't anybody ever heard of insect repellent?
- 00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:11,286 All right, everyone, it's time to give out
- 00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,622 canned food to the poor.
- 00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,667 Hey, where's Cartman?
- 00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:20,378 I don't know. Do you know where he is, Marvin?
- 00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:24,132 Looks like we have the turkey problem under control.
- 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:26,009 It's time to embrace the spirit of giving
- 00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:29,095 with the canned food grab.
- 00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:34,768 Come on, hurry up.
- 00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:39,814 Grab a lot son.
- 00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:43,234 Happy happy Thanksgiving! Let 'er rip!
- 00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:49,908 Come on, grab those cans, little boy!
- 00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:55,789 - Come on, Kenny! - Come on, son!
- 00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:01,169 Now, let's see all the goodies you're going
- 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,880 to take home to your family.
- 00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:09,469 It looks like he got a-- a can of string beans!
- 00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:15,183 What the--
- 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,977 Dude, the mutant turkeys are back!
- 00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:25,193 Okay people, move along,
- 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,612 nothing to see here, you looky-loos.
- 00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:29,948 I tried to tell you, but you didn't listen.
- 00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:32,617 Gather around everybody, and listen good.
- 00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:35,704 Go to your homes and arm your--
- 00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:45,088 What the hell are you supposed to be anyway?
- 00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:47,048 That's not important right now.
- 00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:49,551 No! What the hell is this little thing supposed to be?
- 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,094 It doesn't look like anything.
- 00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:53,638 Chef, the turkeys! - Oh, All right.
- 00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:56,057 Listen up everybody, and listen good.
- 00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:57,851 Go to your homes
- 00:16:57,976 --> 00:17:00,353 and arm yourselves with whatever you can.
- 00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:05,525 We'll meet back here in 15 minutes. Hurry!
- 00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:07,318 We are not going to let our Thanksgiving
- 00:17:07,444 --> 00:17:09,988 be ruined by a bunch of turkeys.
- 00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:16,828 You guys, seriously, I'm hungry.
- 00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,164 I have to eat.
- 00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:21,249 Ah, sweet! The Red Cross!
- 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:24,669 I'll have fried chicken and a side of mashed potatoes please.
- 00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:26,504 Sorry, kid, but we're out of food.
- 00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:27,881 We ran out of funding.
- 00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:29,174 What? - We just didn't get
- 00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:30,425 enough sponsors back home,
- 00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,385 so now we've got to pack it up.
- 00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:33,636 But I'm not a starving Ethiopian!
- 00:17:33,762 --> 00:17:35,346 I have to get back home too!
- 00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:37,557 Sorry dude, we just don't have any funds.
- 00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:40,310 Here, have a Teiko sports watch.
- 00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:44,272 Weak!
- 00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:50,361 People, we all have to do our part against the evil turkeys.
- 00:17:50,487 --> 00:17:52,113 There's too many of them.
- 00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:55,658 Come on! Where is that Thanksgiving spirit?
- 00:17:55,784 --> 00:17:59,245 We can't stop them.
- 00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:03,792 Today, you fight for your city!
- 00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:06,252 You fight for your honor!
- 00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:09,297 These turkeys will continue to push until they
- 00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:12,509 have taken everything from us!
- 00:18:12,634 --> 00:18:16,054 These fudged-up turkeys from the the crustaceous era
- 00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:18,098 can take our lives,
- 00:18:18,223 --> 00:18:21,851 but they can never take our freedom!
- 00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:27,524 Whoo! Yeah! Whoo!
- 00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,167 Here you go, turkeys!
- 00:18:52,257 --> 00:18:53,967 Does my hair look okay?
- 00:18:57,595 --> 00:18:59,973 Can't go on...
- 00:19:00,098 --> 00:19:04,102 need... appetizer...
- 00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:08,398 I'm sorry, God! I'm sorry I mocked poor people.
- 00:19:08,523 --> 00:19:10,859 I'm sorry I wasn't more sensitive.
- 00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:15,196 Please, please, God.
- 00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:22,162 My god has forsaken me.
- 00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:36,634 Huh, I wonder what's in here?
- 00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:46,561 Snacky Cakes! Mmmm!
- 00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:55,904 Sally Struthers? - Who the hell are you?
- 00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:59,532 Give me that cake! - No, this is my cake!
- 00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:01,701 No, Sally Struthers, you give me that cake!
- 00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:03,870 No! You can't have any!
- 00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:06,873 No, Sally Struthers, that's my cake!
- 00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:15,548 You guys, Sally Struthers is holding food from us!
- 00:20:15,673 --> 00:20:19,093 Uh-oh.
- 00:20:24,015 --> 00:20:25,808 Ahhh!
- 00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:34,317 Stay close, children.
- 00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:45,453 Oh, my God, they've killed Kenny!
- 00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,288 You bastards!
- 00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:49,457 The last three are getting away, shoot 'em, Ned!
- 00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:55,004 We did it! - My God, what have we done?
- 00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:56,965 We've saved Thanksgiving.
- 00:20:57,090 --> 00:21:00,009 But all those poor turkeys, they're--they're all dead.
- 00:21:00,134 --> 00:21:04,138 Every turkey dies, not every turkey truly lives.
- 00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:05,932 As horrible as they were,
- 00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:07,767 they--they felt like a part of me.
- 00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:10,311 Perhaps I shouldn't be toying with God's creations,
- 00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:13,523 perhaps I should just-- - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 00:21:13,648 --> 00:21:15,400 Excuse me sir, we're looking for a little
- 00:21:15,525 --> 00:21:17,568 starving Ethiopian boy who was accidentally delivered
- 00:21:17,694 --> 00:21:19,737 to South Park instead of a Teiko sports watch.
- 00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:21,906 Have you seen anyone fitting this description.
- 00:21:22,031 --> 00:21:25,159 Oh, that could be a hundred kids in this town, mister.
- 00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:30,415 There you are. Are you ready to go home now?
- 00:21:40,717 --> 00:21:42,593 Wow, it sucks he has to leave.
- 00:21:42,719 --> 00:21:45,013 Yeah, I like him a lot more than Cartman.
- 00:21:45,138 --> 00:21:47,140 You know, I think I've learned something today.
- 00:21:47,265 --> 00:21:49,726 It's really easy not to think of images on TV as real people.
- 00:21:49,851 --> 00:21:51,519 But they are.
- 00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:53,271 That's why it's easy to ignore those commercials,
- 00:21:53,396 --> 00:21:55,481 but, people on TV are just as real as you or I.
- 00:21:55,606 --> 00:21:57,358 Yeah.
- 00:21:57,483 --> 00:21:59,652 And that means that MacGyver is a real person too.
- 00:21:59,777 --> 00:22:02,739 We're terribly sorry about the mix-up, little boy.
- 00:22:02,864 --> 00:22:04,699 We'll get you back home immediately.
- 00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:06,617 That's right you will, God damn it.
- 00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:08,911 Move it povs, I'm an American!
- 00:22:34,687 --> 00:22:36,522 Lord, on this day of thanks,
- 00:22:36,647 --> 00:22:39,192 we would like to extend our deepest gratitude for this
- 00:22:39,317 --> 00:22:41,819 incredible bounty of green beans
- 00:22:41,944 --> 00:22:44,072 you have bestowed upon us.
- 00:22:44,197 --> 00:22:46,324 And though for some reason you found it necessary
- 00:22:46,449 --> 00:22:49,452 to take our son from us, and though you for some reason
- 00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:53,873 find pleasure in watching us suffer, still, we give thanks.
- 00:22:53,998 --> 00:22:57,168 Amen. - Amen.
- 00:22:57,293 --> 00:23:00,338 Does anybody have a can opener?
- 00:23:00,463 --> 00:23:02,673 God Damn-it.
- 00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:06,090 Hidey ho, all you "South Park"-a-teers out there.
- 00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:07,383 <i>Kids: Hidey ho!</i>
- 00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:08,968 I'm rootin' tootin' Trey Parker.
- 00:00:09,093 --> 00:00:10,302 And I'm pistol-slingin' Matt Stone.
- 00:00:10,428 --> 00:00:11,429 And this here's old Scratch.
- 00:00:11,554 --> 00:00:12,805 Say hi, old fella.
- 00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:14,390 <i>Kids: Hi, Scratch.</i>
- 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:15,933 You know, Matt and I are right excited
- 00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:17,685 about this next episode of "South Park,"
- 00:00:17,810 --> 00:00:19,687 because it's our favorite episode.
- 00:00:19,812 --> 00:00:21,731 That's right. It's called "Starvin' Marvin,"
- 00:00:21,856 --> 00:00:23,607 and it originally aired on Thanksgiving.
- 00:00:23,733 --> 00:00:25,568 In it, the boys celebrate the holiday
- 00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,570 with a visitor from a far-off land.
- 00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:29,780 You know, when Comedy Central Called us and asked us
- 00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:31,407 to do a Thanksgiving special,
- 00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,534 the first thing that went through my mind was,
- 00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:36,495 "Boy, I'd like to have sex with Jennifer Aniston."
- 00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:38,914 Cup her perky breasts in my hands
- 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:40,791 and put my hand back and kind of--
- 00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:42,626 nice little tight buns there.
- 00:00:42,752 --> 00:00:44,420 But you know, the thing about this episode
- 00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,380 is that it teaches racial tolerance,
- 00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:47,882 to treat everyone as an equal regardless
- 00:00:48,007 --> 00:00:49,550 of the color of their skin.
- 00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:51,093 Oh, look, it's our Indian friend,
- 00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:52,553 Indian Companion. Say hi, kids.
- 00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:54,138 <i>Kids: Hi!</i>
- 00:00:54,263 --> 00:00:55,765 What's happenin', Indian Companion?
- 00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:58,934 Something coming. Grizzly bear.
- 00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:00,352 Oh, well, why don't you go over there
- 00:01:00,478 --> 00:01:01,896 and kick him in the balls?
- 00:01:02,021 --> 00:01:04,815 Grizzly bears like being kicked in the balls.
- 00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:06,567 [both laughing]
- 00:01:06,692 --> 00:01:08,611 Dumb ass. - He's so stupid.
- 00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,613 Well, why don't you all sit back and have
- 00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:13,407 a rootin' tootin' good time with "Starvin' Marvin"?
- 00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:16,327 Yee-ha!
- 00:01:16,452 --> 00:01:17,578 [guns pop]
- 00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:20,414 <i>kids: Hooray!</i>
- 00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:30,174 <i>[twangy music]</i>
- 00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:31,675 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
- 00:01:31,801 --> 00:01:33,511 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
- 00:01:33,636 --> 00:01:35,304 all: ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
- 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:36,931 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
- 00:01:37,056 --> 00:01:38,390 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
- 00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:40,351 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
- 00:01:40,476 --> 00:01:42,061 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
- 00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:43,813 ♪ People spouting: "Howdy neighbor!" ♪
- 00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:45,314 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
- 00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,024 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
- 00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:50,402 [singing indistinctly]
- 00:01:50,528 --> 00:01:51,904 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
- 00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:53,823 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
- 00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:57,243 [all laughing]
- 00:01:57,368 --> 00:01:58,786 That was awesome! - Yeah!
- 00:01:58,911 --> 00:02:00,913 Would you boys like some Cheesy Poofs?
- 00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:02,832 Get out of the way, mom!
- 00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:04,250 The "Terrance and Phillip" Thanksgiving Special is on.
- 00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:05,751 Sure, hon.
- 00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:07,336 And yeah, we want Cheesy Poofs!
- 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:08,838 Hey, Terrance, looks like this might
- 00:02:08,963 --> 00:02:10,756 be a good place to start a new colony.
- 00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:12,174 It sure does, Phillip.
- 00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:13,592 No one will oppress our religion here.
- 00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:14,593 [farts]
- 00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:16,929 [both laughing]
- 00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:19,515 You stained my pilgrim hat, butt-pipe!
- 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,642 Did you guys see that? That was sweet.
- 00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:23,727 Coming up next on the "Terrance and Phillip"
- 00:02:23,853 --> 00:02:26,313 Thanksgiving Special, Phillip farts on Terrance and laughs.
- 00:02:26,438 --> 00:02:27,648 Oh, cool.
- 00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:29,483 And now a word from our sponsor.
- 00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:31,694 Here in the heart of Africa, children are dying.
- 00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:33,612 Not from disease or war, but from hunger.
- 00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:35,656 I'm Sally Struthers.
- 00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:38,117 These children are in desperate need, and only you can help.
- 00:02:38,242 --> 00:02:39,994 Hey, who's that fat chick?
- 00:02:40,119 --> 00:02:41,287 Sally Struthers, dude. She used to be on "Full House."
- 00:02:41,412 --> 00:02:42,746 Oh.
- 00:02:42,872 --> 00:02:44,957 You see, here, in the middle of Africa,
- 00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:46,750 food is extremely scarce.
- 00:02:46,876 --> 00:02:47,835 Doesn't look like she's having
- 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,336 any trouble finding food.
- 00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:50,337 Yeah, she's fatter than Cartman.
- 00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:52,214 Yeah. Hey!
- 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:55,259 For just $5 a month, you can sponsor a child.
- 00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:57,678 That's stupid, who the hell would want to do that?
- 00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,638 Sponsor now, and we'll also
- 00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:02,641 send you this Teiko digital sports watch as a free gift.
- 00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:03,809 Kick ass!
- 00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:05,603 Sweet! - Whoo-hoo!
- 00:03:05,728 --> 00:03:08,272 I'll call--I know my mom's credit card number.
- 00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:09,857 Did they say if it's waterproof?
- 00:03:09,982 --> 00:03:12,067 Hello? Is this Sally Struthers?
- 00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:13,736 Oh. - What did she say?
- 00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,613 Shut up butt-pirate, I'm trying to hear.
- 00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:17,823 Ass-rammer. - Yeah? Yeah.
- 00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:19,533 We want to adopt a starving Ether-nopian.
- 00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,160 When do we get the sports watch?
- 00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:24,288 Just a second fat-ass! - You vas-deferens!
- 00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:26,540 Hello? No, no, it's a ma--
- 00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:28,876 Vas-deferens?
- 00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:30,669 [muffled speech] - Oh.
- 00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:32,546 Ask her if we get the watch right away.
- 00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:34,924 Do we get the sports watch right away?
- 00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:36,800 She says we do. all: Cool.
- 00:03:36,926 --> 00:03:40,304 I get to wear it first, you guys.
- 00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:41,764 I can't wait to get out of school
- 00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:43,307 and get our Teiko sports watch.
- 00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:45,100 Yeah, but I get to wear it first, I said.
- 00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:47,937 Children, children! To honor this special time
- 00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:50,439 of year, we'll be doing a canned food drive.
- 00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,858 Does anybody know what a canned food drive is?
- 00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:54,401 Yes, Eric?
- 00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:56,070 When they cut up a chick's stomach
- 00:03:56,195 --> 00:03:58,113 to get a baby out?
- 00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:01,283 No, that's a Caesarian Section, Eric, but that's okay,
- 00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:04,578 remember, there are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
- 00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:07,039 A canned food drive is when we collect canned food
- 00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:09,708 for poor people who can't afford to eat on Thanksgiving.
- 00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:12,044 You mean, like Kenny? - Exactly.
- 00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:13,796 Mr. Garrison?
- 00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:15,798 Why do poor people always smell like sour milk?
- 00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:18,050 I don't know, Eric, they just do.
- 00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:19,677 [sniffs]
- 00:04:19,802 --> 00:04:21,053 Now, children, I want each of you to bring
- 00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:22,638 in one can of food.
- 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,640 And later, the mayor of South Park will
- 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:27,643 divide it up amongst Kenny's family and other poor people.
- 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,979 I'm not bringing in food for poor people, screw them!
- 00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:32,564 Don't you want to help those who are less fortunate?
- 00:04:32,690 --> 00:04:34,858 Hey you guys, do you hear something?
- 00:04:34,984 --> 00:04:37,069 I--I think I hear the flower children calling!
- 00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:38,946 This is the one time of year
- 00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:41,657 you're supposed to care about people who can't eat!
- 00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,534 Isn't it enough that I pay taxes?
- 00:04:43,659 --> 00:04:45,577 What about the poor houses that I pay for?
- 00:04:45,703 --> 00:04:48,998 Many would rather die than go to those places!
- 00:04:49,123 --> 00:04:50,541 Well then, perhaps they should,
- 00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:52,334 and decrease the surplus population!
- 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,712 Okay, kids, that's enough Dickens for one day.
- 00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:56,880 Let's get on with our lesson, right, Mr. Hat?
- 00:04:57,006 --> 00:04:58,716 That's right, Mr. Garrison,
- 00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:00,634 Englebert Humperdink was the first person
- 00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:02,052 on the moon. Who was the second?
- 00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:05,014 [gobbling]
- 00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:06,640 Aaaah!
- 00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:09,601 What the hell is going on? - Aaaah!
- 00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:14,732 [gobbling continues]
- 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:22,531 Well, you don't see that every day.
- 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:26,035 Okay, now, once we have all the canned foods collected,
- 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:29,246 we'll need some clever way to distribute them to the poor.
- 00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:31,582 It should be something festive.
- 00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:34,418 Mayor, we've got a very big problem.
- 00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:35,794 Ah, you're that insane genetic engineer
- 00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:37,671 from up on the hill, right?
- 00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:40,507 Yes, and I may have made a horrible mistake.
- 00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:42,259 I was trying to genetically engineer
- 00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:43,260 turkeys for Thanksgiving.
- 00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:44,928 Uh-huh.
- 00:05:45,054 --> 00:05:46,096 You know, to provide food for the needy.
- 00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:48,057 Of course.
- 00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:50,642 Well, something went wrong and the turkeys broke free.
- 00:05:50,768 --> 00:05:54,229 And the worst part is, they're really pissed off.
- 00:05:54,355 --> 00:05:58,650 Naturally. Oh, do go on.
- 00:05:58,776 --> 00:06:01,278 We have to stop them or--or they could destroy everything.
- 00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:02,863 Time is short.
- 00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:06,784 [cuckoo clock dings] You were saying?
- 00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:09,912 They act just like normal turkeys, except they're evil.
- 00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:12,873 Oh, my!
- 00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:15,834 [donkey brays]
- 00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:18,170 Somehow I don't think you're taking me seriously.
- 00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:21,882 Now why would you say that?
- 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:24,176 all: Did it come? Did it come? Is it here yet?
- 00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,762 I get to use it first, you guys!
- 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:29,890 Mom, did our digital sports watch come yet?
- 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,600 Not yet, hon.
- 00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,811 Damn. - Hey, look, you guys.
- 00:06:33,936 --> 00:06:36,355 And now, back to Part 2 of the "Terrance and Phillip"
- 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,732 Thanksgiving Special.
- 00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:40,025 I sure am cold, Phillip.
- 00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:41,777 Yes, and hungry too.
- 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,862 Being a pilgrim totally sucks ass.
- 00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:45,489 Gosh, I hope we don't starve.
- 00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:46,782 [high-pitched fart]
- 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:50,619 Ah, a squeaker! [laughter]
- 00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:54,164 [doorbell rings] [knock on door]
- 00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:56,917 The digital sports watch is here!
- 00:07:00,129 --> 00:07:01,964 What the hell?
- 00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:04,091 Dude, that's not a digital sports watch.
- 00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:06,718 Hey, it looks like one of those Ether-opians.
- 00:07:06,844 --> 00:07:08,637 Oh, man, they must have accidentally sent him
- 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,139 instead of the sports watch.
- 00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:11,723 Maybe they took it literally when we said
- 00:07:11,849 --> 00:07:12,933 we wanted to adopt a kid.
- 00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:15,185 [clicking and vocalizing]
- 00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:16,937 Whoa! That was cool.
- 00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:18,730 Yeah, how did he make those clicking sounds?
- 00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:20,774 What's your name dude? - [clicks] Mabin.
- 00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:22,359 I think he said his name is Marvin.
- 00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:24,903 Yeah, Starvin' Marvin.
- 00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:26,989 Nice to meet you, Starvin' Marvin.
- 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:28,991 Hey, mom? - Yes, hon?
- 00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:31,702 We found a Ether-opian, can we keep him?
- 00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:34,496 Sure, hon. - Sweet.
- 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,540 Dude, let's bring him to school tomorrow.
- 00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:38,083 Come on, Starvin' Marvin,
- 00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:39,626 I want you to meet my little brother.
- 00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:41,795 No, no! He's my son! I adopted him.
- 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,172 It was my mom's credit card.
- 00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:44,840 Okay, okay, we'll switch off.
- 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,091 Starvin' Marvin can stay here for a week,
- 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,177 then at Stan's, then with me.
- 00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:50,262 Yeah, and never with Kenny, because his family is too poor.
- 00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:51,680 Totally. - Ahh!
- 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,432 [soft music]
- 00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:56,351 Look how the leaves fall so delicately
- 00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:58,061 on the surface of the pond.
- 00:07:58,187 --> 00:08:00,147 It's so beautiful.
- 00:08:00,272 --> 00:08:04,359 Not as beautiful as you. - [sighs romantically]
- 00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:07,654 [distant gobbling]
- 00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:10,199 Oh, darling, look. Thanksgiving turkeys.
- 00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:15,287 Oh, they're so beautiful. - Not as beautiful as you.
- 00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:18,499 Look at the way they foam at the mouth,
- 00:08:18,624 --> 00:08:23,337 like beautiful suds of beer. - Not as beautiful as-
- 00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:26,381 [screaming]
- 00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:33,347 This is a great way for you
- 00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:35,140 to experience America, Starvin' Marvin.
- 00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,100 This is what we call an 'all you can eat buffet.
- 00:08:37,226 --> 00:08:40,437 Yeah, here you get to eat all you want for only $6.99.
- 00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:42,481 That's why we all come here on Tuesday nights,
- 00:08:42,606 --> 00:08:43,941 except for Kenny's family, 'cause to them,
- 00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:45,400 $6.99 is two years' income.
- 00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:47,069 [laughter]
- 00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:49,071 Why is your family poor, Starvin' Marvin?
- 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:52,199 Is your dad an alcoholic too?
- 00:08:52,324 --> 00:08:53,700 You see, Starvin' Marvin,
- 00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:55,911 these are what we call appetizers.
- 00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,496 Ap-ee-tizer.
- 00:08:57,621 --> 00:08:59,414 This is what you eat before you eat,
- 00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:02,334 to make you more hungry.
- 00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:05,212 Well, food is here, that's it for the appetizers.
- 00:09:08,924 --> 00:09:11,843 No, Starvin' Marvin, that's my pot-pie.
- 00:09:11,969 --> 00:09:13,804 Cartman, you butt-pipe, this is the time of year you're
- 00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:16,765 supposed to share. - Oh yeah, you're right.
- 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,725 Are you gonna eat all of your peach cobbler?
- 00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:21,144 No, you don't want all that. Why don't you share it with me?
- 00:09:21,270 --> 00:09:22,938 Just shove it on over here.
- 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,232 Let me just have some of that, huh?
- 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,777 Children, children!
- 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,655 I'm a little disappointed in your Thanksgiving spirit.
- 00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,156 Only a few cans have been
- 00:09:33,282 --> 00:09:35,409 donated to our canned food drive.
- 00:09:35,534 --> 00:09:37,369 And can't we do a little better than
- 00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:38,912 creamed corn...
- 00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:42,874 creamed corn... and...creamed corn?
- 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,210 Please bring in more diverse food, children, or else
- 00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:49,006 Kenny's family is going to have a pretty corny Thanksgiving.
- 00:09:49,131 --> 00:09:50,674 [chuckles]
- 00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:53,010 [laughing]
- 00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:55,929 [laughing] Corny. Gravy.
- 00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:58,307 Corny Thanksgiving, hoo!
- 00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:00,017 [laughs]
- 00:10:00,142 --> 00:10:02,185 Anyway, children, I understand a few of you have
- 00:10:02,311 --> 00:10:04,354 brought in something special for show-and-tell.
- 00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:06,106 all: Yeah, yeah, we do!
- 00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:09,735 All right, boys, show us what you've brought.
- 00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:14,531 This is our new Ether-nopian, Starvin' Marvin.
- 00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:16,325 He can do really cool stuff with his voice.
- 00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:18,160 Show 'em, Starvin' Marvin.
- 00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:21,538 No, Starvin' Marvin, that's Kenny's creamed corn.
- 00:10:21,663 --> 00:10:24,041 No, Starvin' Marvin, that's a bad Starvin' Marvin!
- 00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:25,751 Boys, what the hell are you doing?
- 00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:27,336 This is horribly, horribly wrong.
- 00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:28,920 How did you get this child?
- 00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:30,255 He was accidentally delivered to us
- 00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:31,840 instead of a sports watch.
- 00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,550 The sports watch from the commercial?
- 00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:35,719 Yeah, that one. - I want a Starvin' Marvin.
- 00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:38,639 Me too. - Yes, I'll pay $50 for one.
- 00:10:38,764 --> 00:10:40,432 [overlapping chatter]
- 00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:42,976 Boys, you're too young to take care of a child.
- 00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:44,686 I'm afraid I'm going to have to call
- 00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,271 the Red Cross and have him returned.
- 00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:47,773 Ah, I told you we shouldn't have
- 00:10:47,898 --> 00:10:49,232 brought him to school dude.
- 00:10:49,358 --> 00:10:51,068 Okay, thank you very much.
- 00:10:51,193 --> 00:10:53,236 Yes, you can pick him up tonight. Bye now.
- 00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:54,821 Now, boys, I hope you've learned your lesson.
- 00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:56,281 No.
- 00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:57,741 You can't care for this child!
- 00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:58,950 But I thought we were supposed
- 00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:00,410 to care on Thanksgiving.
- 00:11:00,535 --> 00:11:01,870 Yes, but you don't actually get
- 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,413 involved with the child's lives.
- 00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:05,040 You're supposed to just send money,
- 00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,291 and once in a while they write you a letter.
- 00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:07,793 You see, Marvin didn't grow up
- 00:11:07,918 --> 00:11:09,294 in a normal place like South Park.
- 00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,004 So why can't he live here now?
- 00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:13,131 Because he can't! - Because why?
- 00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:15,050 Because eight year olds can't be parents!
- 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,760 Then you take care of him.
- 00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:20,555 I can't. I--Umm, I'm very busy.
- 00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:22,891 I send my $5 a month, see?
- 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,686 This sucks, Starvin' Marvin is our friend.
- 00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:27,437 Oh well, back to the poor country with you.
- 00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,064 You better watch what you say, Cartman!
- 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,774 You might be poor and hungry some day.
- 00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:32,776 [chuckling] Yeah, right.
- 00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,820 [crickets chirping]
- 00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:36,363 I knew that you were the only person
- 00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:37,948 who would listen to me, Chef.
- 00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:39,825 Yeah, well, let's get it over with.
- 00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:42,369 This place gives me the Bubujeebies.
- 00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:45,330 Look here in my microscope. Tell me what you see.
- 00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:49,501 Uhh, I see an extreme close-up
- 00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:52,170 of Vanessa Redgrave's private parts.
- 00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:53,839 Oh, whoops.
- 00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:56,425 Now tell me what you see.
- 00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:58,552 Well, I'm no biologist,
- 00:11:58,677 --> 00:12:00,679 but I'd say it looks like turkey DNA.
- 00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:03,223 Precisely, but look how rapidly it's dividing.
- 00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:05,183 What does it mean?
- 00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:08,270 Means the turkeys are growing at an exponential rate.
- 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:11,606 If we don't destroy them all, they'll take over the town.
- 00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:15,485 Maybe the world. - Oh, fudge!
- 00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:18,947 Uhh, let me see that Vanessa Redgrave thing again.
- 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,366 Sure.
- 00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:27,497 Hello there, little boy, we're looking for a starving
- 00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:29,666 African child who was accidentally sent here instead
- 00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:33,044 of a Teiko sports watch.
- 00:12:37,716 --> 00:12:39,593 Hey, hey, what's going on?
- 00:12:39,718 --> 00:12:42,512 Hey, let go of me! Hey!
- 00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:44,431 Hey! I'll kick you in the nuts. Okay, man?
- 00:12:44,556 --> 00:12:46,892 Here's your sports watch, son, sorry for the mix-up.
- 00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:48,727 Hey! Hey, seriously!
- 00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:50,645 Hey, you're pissing me off!
- 00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:52,898 [door closes] Sweet.
- 00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,529 So how does this thing work?
- 00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:01,323 Well mayor, it's based on the cash grab,
- 00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:02,783 but instead of money, the cans of food
- 00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:04,826 are blown around inside the capsule.
- 00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:07,746 The pov inside catches as many as he can to feed his family.
- 00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:10,624 Pov? - Poverty stricken citizen.
- 00:13:10,749 --> 00:13:12,751 Oh-ho-ho, brilliant.
- 00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:17,255 [gobbling]
- 00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:20,342 [screams] What the hell is this?
- 00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:21,968 I don't know, mayor,
- 00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:23,470 I don't think it's listed on the program.
- 00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:25,305 They're increasing in number, mayor.
- 00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:27,265 These are the vicious turkeys I warned you about.
- 00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:29,392 [stammering] It's true mayor!
- 00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:32,103 Those turkeys just ripped apart my cafeteria!
- 00:13:32,229 --> 00:13:33,814 Whoa!
- 00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:36,441 You won't get away with this, you bastards!
- 00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:39,110 Wow! Those are some pissed off turkeys!
- 00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:45,408 Okay, people, don't panic! Bring out the defense squad!
- 00:13:45,534 --> 00:13:49,913 [gunfire] [gobbling]
- 00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,623 We need more than that!
- 00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:53,959 They'll only come back in increased numbers!
- 00:13:54,084 --> 00:13:55,460 ["Terrance and Phillip" music]
- 00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:58,213 Hey, Phillip, could you pass the beans?
- 00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,131 Beans? Uh oh, looks like we'll be
- 00:14:00,257 --> 00:14:02,050 at war with these Indians soon.
- 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,594 [grunts] Wait, wait, wait.
- 00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:07,055 [straining] Here it comes.
- 00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,932 [farts]
- 00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:10,267 Aaaaah, I crapped in my pants!
- 00:14:10,392 --> 00:14:12,143 Aaaah! [laughter]
- 00:14:12,269 --> 00:14:14,521 I think you got some spatter on Chief Running Wolf.
- 00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:16,565 [laughter] I spattered his face!
- 00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:19,442 Now he's a smelly Indian! [laughter]
- 00:14:19,568 --> 00:14:22,070 We'll be back to part 14 of the "Terrance and Phillip"
- 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,531 Thanksgiving Special, right after this.
- 00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:27,534 Hunger is an enemy that we all must fight.
- 00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:30,328 These children desperately need your support.
- 00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:32,581 Hey, somebody get me out of here!
- 00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:34,875 This sucks! So please,
- 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,960 call and adopt a child today.
- 00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:39,462 I'm seriously getting pissed off over here!!
- 00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:42,090 You want some more Cheesy Poofs, hon?
- 00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,884 Ya, I won da Cheesy Poof.
- 00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:46,845 Okay. - Sweet.
- 00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:49,264 This is serious bull[bleep]!
- 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:52,559 There has to be a Happy Burger around here somewhere.
- 00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:57,606 Excuse me, I am a lost little boy--Could you help me?
- 00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:01,568 Well, screw you too!
- 00:15:01,693 --> 00:15:04,321 What the--Who the hell let all these flies in here?
- 00:15:04,446 --> 00:15:08,033 Hasn't anybody ever heard of insect repellent?
- 00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:11,286 All right, everyone, it's time to give out
- 00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,622 canned food to the poor.
- 00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:15,957 [cheers and applause]
- 00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,667 Hey, where's Cartman?
- 00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:20,378 I don't know. Do you know where he is, Marvin?
- 00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:24,132 Looks like we have the turkey problem under control.
- 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:26,009 It's time to embrace the spirit of giving
- 00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:29,095 with the canned food grab.
- 00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:31,431 [cheers and applause]
- 00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:34,768 Come on, hurry up.
- 00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:39,814 Grab a lot son.
- 00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:43,234 Happy happy Thanksgiving! Let 'er rip!
- 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,154 [machine whirring]
- 00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:49,908 Come on, grab those cans, little boy!
- 00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:55,789 both: Come on, Kenny! - Come on, son!
- 00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:01,169 Now, let's see all the goodies you're going
- 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,880 to take home to your family.
- 00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:09,469 It looks like he got a-- a can of string beans!
- 00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:11,096 [cheers and applause]
- 00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:13,807 [distant gobbling]
- 00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:15,183 What the--
- 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,977 Dude, the mutant turkeys are back!
- 00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:21,106 [gobbling]
- 00:16:21,231 --> 00:16:23,108 [all screaming]
- 00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:25,193 Okay people, move along,
- 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,612 nothing to see here, you looky-loos.
- 00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:29,948 I tried to tell you, but you didn't listen.
- 00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:32,617 Gather around everybody, and listen good.
- 00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:35,704 Go to your homes and arm your--
- 00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:45,088 What the hell are you supposed to be anyway?
- 00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:47,048 That's not important right now.
- 00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:49,551 No! What the hell is this little thing supposed to be?
- 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,094 It doesn't look like anything.
- 00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:53,638 Chef, the turkeys! - Oh, All right.
- 00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:56,057 Listen up everybody, and listen good.
- 00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:57,851 Go to your homes
- 00:16:57,976 --> 00:17:00,353 and arm yourselves with whatever you can.
- 00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:05,525 We'll meet back here in 15 minutes. Hurry!
- 00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:07,318 We are not going to let our Thanksgiving
- 00:17:07,444 --> 00:17:09,988 be ruined by a bunch of turkeys.
- 00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:16,828 [grunts] You guys, seriously, I'm hungry.
- 00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,164 I have to eat.
- 00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:21,249 Ah, sweet! The Red Cross!
- 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:24,669 I'll have fried chicken and a side of mashed potatoes please.
- 00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:26,504 Sorry, kid, but we're out of food.
- 00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:27,881 We ran out of funding.
- 00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:29,174 What? - We just didn't get
- 00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:30,425 enough sponsors back home,
- 00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,385 so now we've got to pack it up.
- 00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:33,636 But I'm not a starving Ethiopian!
- 00:17:33,762 --> 00:17:35,346 I have to get back home too!
- 00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:37,557 Sorry dude, we just don't have any funds.
- 00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:40,310 Here, have a Teiko sports watch.
- 00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:41,770 [tires squeal]
- 00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:44,272 Weak!
- 00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:50,361 People, we all have to do our part against the evil turkeys.
- 00:17:50,487 --> 00:17:52,113 There's too many of them.
- 00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:55,658 Come on! Where is that Thanksgiving spirit?
- 00:17:55,784 --> 00:17:59,245 We can't stop them.
- 00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:00,914 [horse whinnies]
- 00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:03,792 Today, you fight for your city!
- 00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:06,252 You fight for your honor!
- 00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:09,297 These turkeys will continue to push until they
- 00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:12,509 have taken everything from us!
- 00:18:12,634 --> 00:18:16,054 These fudged-up turkeys from the the crustaceous era
- 00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:18,098 can take our lives,
- 00:18:18,223 --> 00:18:21,851 but they can never take our freedom!
- 00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:25,021 [cheers and applause]
- 00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:27,524 Whoo! Yeah! Whoo!
- 00:18:27,649 --> 00:18:32,153 [gobbling intensely]
- 00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:35,907 [continues gobbling]
- 00:18:36,032 --> 00:18:38,243 [gobbles intensely]
- 00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:42,497 [all gobbling]
- 00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,666 [cheering]
- 00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,167 Here you go, turkeys!
- 00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:52,132 [overlapping battlecries and gobbling]
- 00:18:52,257 --> 00:18:53,967 Does my hair look okay?
- 00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:57,470 [bird squawks] [gasping]
- 00:18:57,595 --> 00:18:59,973 Can't go on...
- 00:19:00,098 --> 00:19:04,102 need... appetizer...
- 00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:08,398 I'm sorry, God! I'm sorry I mocked poor people.
- 00:19:08,523 --> 00:19:10,859 I'm sorry I wasn't more sensitive.
- 00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:15,196 Please, please, God. [grunts]
- 00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:19,492 [wind blowing]
- 00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:22,162 My god has forsaken me.
- 00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:31,087 [gasps]
- 00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:33,590 [grunts]
- 00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:36,634 Huh, I wonder what's in here?
- 00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:42,432 [triumphant music]
- 00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:46,561 Snacky Cakes! Mmmm!
- 00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:52,692 [slurping]
- 00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:55,904 Sally Struthers? - Who the hell are you?
- 00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:59,532 Give me that cake! - No, this is my cake!
- 00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:01,701 No, Sally Struthers, you give me that cake!
- 00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:03,870 No! You can't have any!
- 00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:06,873 No, Sally Struthers, that's my cake!
- 00:20:06,998 --> 00:20:10,668 [screaming indistinctly]
- 00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:15,548 You guys, Sally Struthers is holding food from us!
- 00:20:15,673 --> 00:20:19,093 Uh-oh. [smacking]
- 00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:23,890 [overlapping battlecries and gobbling]
- 00:20:24,015 --> 00:20:25,808 Ahhh! - [grunting]
- 00:20:25,934 --> 00:20:28,269 [gunfire]
- 00:20:28,394 --> 00:20:31,773 [yells indistinctly]
- 00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:34,317 Stay close, children.
- 00:20:34,442 --> 00:20:35,693 [turkey squawks]
- 00:20:35,818 --> 00:20:37,612 [all cheering]
- 00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:39,197 [muffled speech]
- 00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:41,991 [screaming] [angry gobbling]
- 00:20:42,116 --> 00:20:43,534 [grunts]
- 00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:45,453 Oh, my God, they've killed Kenny!
- 00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,288 You bastards!
- 00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:49,457 The last three are getting away, shoot 'em, Ned!
- 00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,292 [gunfire and squawks]
- 00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:55,004 We did it! - My God, what have we done?
- 00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:56,965 We've saved Thanksgiving.
- 00:20:57,090 --> 00:21:00,009 But all those poor turkeys, they're--they're all dead.
- 00:21:00,134 --> 00:21:04,138 Every turkey dies, not every turkey truly lives.
- 00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:05,932 As horrible as they were,
- 00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:07,767 they--they felt like a part of me.
- 00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:10,311 Perhaps I shouldn't be toying with God's creations,
- 00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:13,523 perhaps I should just-- - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 00:21:13,648 --> 00:21:15,400 Excuse me sir, we're looking for a little
- 00:21:15,525 --> 00:21:17,568 starving Ethiopian boy who was accidentally delivered
- 00:21:17,694 --> 00:21:19,737 to South Park instead of a Teiko sports watch.
- 00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:21,906 Have you seen anyone fitting this description.
- 00:21:22,031 --> 00:21:25,159 Oh, that could be a hundred kids in this town, mister.
- 00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:30,415 There you are. Are you ready to go home now?
- 00:21:30,540 --> 00:21:35,086 [soft music]
- 00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:40,591 [music continues]
- 00:21:40,717 --> 00:21:42,593 Wow, it sucks he has to leave.
- 00:21:42,719 --> 00:21:45,013 Yeah, I like him a lot more than Cartman.
- 00:21:45,138 --> 00:21:47,140 You know, I think I've learned something today.
- 00:21:47,265 --> 00:21:49,726 It's really easy not to think of images on TV as real people.
- 00:21:49,851 --> 00:21:51,519 But they are.
- 00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:53,271 That's why it's easy to ignore those commercials,
- 00:21:53,396 --> 00:21:55,481 but, people on TV are just as real as you or I.
- 00:21:55,606 --> 00:21:57,358 Yeah.
- 00:21:57,483 --> 00:21:59,652 And that means that MacGyver is a real person too.
- 00:21:59,777 --> 00:22:02,739 We're terribly sorry about the mix-up, little boy.
- 00:22:02,864 --> 00:22:04,699 We'll get you back home immediately.
- 00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:06,617 That's right you will, God damn it.
- 00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:08,911 Move it povs, I'm an American!
- 00:22:09,037 --> 00:22:11,789 [jet engine humming]
- 00:22:13,458 --> 00:22:18,588 [clicking and vocalizing in native language]
- 00:22:26,095 --> 00:22:28,848 [triumphant tribal music]
- 00:22:28,973 --> 00:22:32,226 [muffled yelling]
- 00:22:32,352 --> 00:22:34,562 [dogs barking]
- 00:22:34,687 --> 00:22:36,522 Lord, on this day of thanks,
- 00:22:36,647 --> 00:22:39,192 we would like to extend our deepest gratitude for this
- 00:22:39,317 --> 00:22:41,819 incredible bounty of green beans
- 00:22:41,944 --> 00:22:44,072 you have bestowed upon us.
- 00:22:44,197 --> 00:22:46,324 And though for some reason you found it necessary
- 00:22:46,449 --> 00:22:49,452 to take our son from us, and though you for some reason
- 00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:53,873 find pleasure in watching us suffer, still, we give thanks.
- 00:22:53,998 --> 00:22:57,168 Amen. - Amen.
- 00:22:57,293 --> 00:23:00,338 Does anybody have a can opener?
- 00:23:00,463 --> 00:23:02,673 God Damn-it.
- 00:23:02,799 --> 00:23:06,052 ♪♪
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