Кошмарный Марвин

00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:07,383

Hidey ho!

00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:08,968

I'm rootin' tootin'

Trey Parker.

00:00:09,093 --> 00:00:10,302

And I'm pistol-slingin'

Matt Stone.

00:00:10,428 --> 00:00:11,429

And this here's

old Scratch.

00:00:11,554 --> 00:00:12,805

Say hi, old fella.

00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:14,390

Hi, Scratch.

00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:15,933

You know, Matt and I are

right excited

00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:17,685

about this next episode

of "South Park,"

00:00:17,810 --> 00:00:19,687

because it's our

favorite episode.

00:00:19,812 --> 00:00:21,731

That's right.

It's called "Starvin' Marvin,"

00:00:21,856 --> 00:00:23,607

and it originally aired

on Thanksgiving.

00:00:23,733 --> 00:00:25,568

In it, the boys celebrate

the holiday

00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,570

with a visitor

from a far-off land.

00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:29,780

You know, when Comedy Central

Called us and asked us

00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:31,407

to do a Thanksgiving special,

00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,534

the first thing that

went through my mind was,

00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:36,495

"Boy, I'd like to have

sex with Jennifer Aniston."

00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:38,914

Cup her perky breasts

in my hands

00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:40,791

and put my hand

back and kind of--

00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:42,626

nice little

tight buns there.

00:00:42,752 --> 00:00:44,420

But you know,

the thing about this episode

00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,380

is that it teaches

racial tolerance,

00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:47,882

to treat everyone

as an equal regardless

00:00:48,007 --> 00:00:49,550

of the color

of their skin.

00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:51,093

Oh, look,

it's our Indian friend,

00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:52,553

Indian Companion.

Say hi, kids.

00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:54,138

Hi!

00:00:54,263 --> 00:00:55,765

What's happenin',

Indian Companion?

00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:58,934

Something coming.

Grizzly bear.

00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:00,352

Oh, well, why don't you

go over there

00:01:00,478 --> 00:01:01,896

and kick him

in the balls?

00:01:02,021 --> 00:01:04,815

Grizzly bears like

being kicked in the balls.

00:01:06,692 --> 00:01:08,611

Dumb ass.

- He's so stupid.

00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,613

Well, why don't you all

sit back and have

00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:13,407

a rootin' tootin' good time

with "Starvin' Marvin"?

00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:16,327

Yee-ha!

00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:20,414

Hooray!

00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:31,675

♪ I'm going down

to South Park ♪

00:01:31,801 --> 00:01:33,511

♪ Gonna have

myself a time ♪

00:01:33,636 --> 00:01:35,304

♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:36,931

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:01:37,056 --> 00:01:38,390

♪ Going down

to South Park ♪

00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:40,351

♪ Gonna leave my

woes behind ♪

00:01:40,476 --> 00:01:42,061

♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:43,813

♪ People spouting:

"Howdy neighbor." ♪

00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:45,314

♪ Headed on up

to South Park ♪

00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,024

♪ Gonna see if

I can't unwind ♪

00:01:50,528 --> 00:01:51,904

♪ So come on down

to South Park ♪

00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:53,823

♪ And meet some

friends of mine ♪

00:01:57,368 --> 00:01:58,786

That was awesome!

- Yeah!

00:01:58,911 --> 00:02:00,913

Would you boys

like some Cheesy Poofs?

00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:02,832

Get out of the way, mom!

00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:04,250

The "Terrance and Phillip"

Thanksgiving Special is on.

00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:05,751

Sure, hon.

00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:07,336

And yeah,

we want Cheesy Poofs!

00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:08,838

Hey, Terrance, looks like

this might

00:02:08,963 --> 00:02:10,756

be a good

place to start a new colony.

00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:12,174

It sure does, Phillip.

00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:13,592

No one will oppress

our religion here.

00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:19,515

You stained

my pilgrim hat, butt-pipe!

00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,642

Did you guys see that?

That was sweet.

00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:23,727

Coming up next

on the "Terrance and Phillip"

00:02:23,853 --> 00:02:26,313

Thanksgiving Special, Phillip

farts on Terrance and laughs.

00:02:26,438 --> 00:02:27,648

Oh, cool.

00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:29,483

And now a word

from our sponsor.

00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:31,694

Here in the heart

of Africa, children are dying.

00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:33,612

Not from disease or war,

but from hunger.

00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:35,656

I'm Sally Struthers.

00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:38,117

These children are in desperate

need, and only you can help.

00:02:38,242 --> 00:02:39,994

Hey, who's that fat chick?

00:02:40,119 --> 00:02:41,287

Sally Struthers, dude.

She used to be on "Full House."

00:02:41,412 --> 00:02:42,746

Oh.

00:02:42,872 --> 00:02:44,957

You see, here,

in the middle of Africa,

00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:46,750

food is extremely scarce.

00:02:46,876 --> 00:02:47,835

Doesn't look like she's

having

00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,336

any trouble finding food.

00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:50,337

Yeah,

she's fatter than Cartman.

00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:52,214

Yeah.

Hey!

00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:55,259

For just $5 a month,

you can sponsor a child.

00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:57,678

That's stupid, who

the hell would want to do that?

00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,638

Sponsor now,

and we'll also

00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:02,641

send you this Teiko digital

sports watch as a free gift.

00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:03,809

Kick ass!

00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:05,603

Sweet!

- Whoo-hoo!

00:03:05,728 --> 00:03:08,272

I'll call--I know

my mom's credit card number.

00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:09,857

Did they say

if it's waterproof?

00:03:09,982 --> 00:03:12,067

Hello?

Is this Sally Struthers?

00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:13,736

Oh.

- What did she say?

00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,613

Shut up butt-pirate,

I'm trying to hear.

00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:17,823

Ass-rammer.

- Yeah? Yeah.

00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:19,533

We want to adopt

a starving Ether-nopian.

00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,160

When do we

get the sports watch?

00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:24,288

Just a second fat-ass!

- You vas-deferens!

00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:26,540

Hello?

No, no, it's a ma--

00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:28,876

Vas-deferens?

00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:30,669

Oh.

00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:32,546

Ask her if we get

the watch right away.

00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:34,924

Do we get the sports

watch right away?

00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:36,800

- She says we do.

- Cool.

00:03:36,926 --> 00:03:40,304

I get to wear it first,

you guys.

00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:41,764

I can't wait to get out

of school

00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:43,307

and get

our Teiko sports watch.

00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:45,100

Yeah, but I get

to wear it first, I said.

00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:47,937

Children, children!

To honor this special time

00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:50,439

of year, we'll be

doing a canned food drive.

00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,858

Does anybody know

what a canned food drive is?

00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:54,401

Yes, Eric?

00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:56,070

When they cut up a chick's

stomach

00:03:56,195 --> 00:03:58,113

to get a baby out?

00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:01,283

No, that's a Caesarian

Section, Eric, but that's okay,

00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:04,578

remember, there are no stupid

questions, just stupid people.

00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:07,039

A canned food drive is

when we collect canned food

00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:09,708

for poor people who can't

afford to eat on Thanksgiving.

00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:12,044

You mean, like Kenny?

- Exactly.

00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:13,796

Mr. Garrison?

00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:15,798

Why do poor people

always smell like sour milk?

00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:18,050

I don't know, Eric,

they just do.

00:04:19,802 --> 00:04:21,053

Now, children,

I want each of you to bring

00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:22,638

in one can of food.

00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,640

And later,

the mayor of South Park will

00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:27,643

divide it up amongst Kenny's

family and other poor people.

00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,979

I'm not bringing in food

for poor people, screw them!

00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:32,564

Don't you want to help

those who are less fortunate?

00:04:32,690 --> 00:04:34,858

Hey you guys,

do you hear something?

00:04:34,984 --> 00:04:37,069

I--I think I hear

the flower children calling!

00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:38,946

This is the one time of year

00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:41,657

you're supposed to care

about people who can't eat!

00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,534

Isn't it

enough that I pay taxes?

00:04:43,659 --> 00:04:45,577

What about the poor

houses that I pay for?

00:04:45,703 --> 00:04:48,998

Many would rather

die than go to those places!

00:04:49,123 --> 00:04:50,541

Well then,

perhaps they should,

00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:52,334

and decrease

the surplus population!

00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,712

Okay, kids, that's

enough Dickens for one day.

00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:56,880

Let's get on with our lesson,

right, Mr. Hat?

00:04:57,006 --> 00:04:58,716

That's right,

Mr. Garrison,

00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:00,634

Englebert Humperdink

was the first person

00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:02,052

on the moon.

Who was the second?

00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:06,640

Aaaah!

00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:09,601

What the hell is going on?

- Aaaah!

00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:22,531

Well,

you don't see that every day.

00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:26,035

Okay, now, once we have all

the canned foods collected,

00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:29,246

we'll need some clever way

to distribute them to the poor.

00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:31,582

It should be

something festive.

00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:34,418

Mayor,

we've got a very big problem.

00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:35,794

Ah, you're that insane

genetic engineer

00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:37,671

from up on the hill, right?

00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:40,507

Yes, and I may have

made a horrible mistake.

00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:42,259

I was trying

to genetically engineer

00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:43,260

turkeys

for Thanksgiving.

00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:44,928

Uh-huh.

00:05:45,054 --> 00:05:46,096

You know,

to provide food for the needy.

00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:48,057

Of course.

00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:50,642

Well, something went wrong

and the turkeys broke free.

00:05:50,768 --> 00:05:54,229

And the worst part is,

they're really pissed off.

00:05:54,355 --> 00:05:58,650

Naturally.

Oh, do go on.

00:05:58,776 --> 00:06:01,278

We have to stop them or--or

they could destroy everything.

00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:02,863

Time is short.

00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:06,784

You were saying?

00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:09,912

They act just like normal

turkeys, except they're evil.

00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:12,873

Oh, my!

00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:18,170

Somehow I don't think

you're taking me seriously.

00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:21,882

Now why

would you say that?

00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:24,176

Did it come?

Did it come? Is it here yet?

00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,762

I get to use

it first, you guys!

00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:29,890

Mom, did our digital

sports watch come yet?

00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,600

Not yet, hon.

00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,811

Damn.

- Hey, look, you guys.

00:06:33,936 --> 00:06:36,355

And now, back to Part 2

of the "Terrance and Phillip"

00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,732

Thanksgiving Special.

00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:40,025

I sure am cold, Phillip.

00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:41,777

Yes, and hungry too.

00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,862

Being a pilgrim

totally sucks ass.

00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:45,489

Gosh, I hope we

don't starve.

00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:50,619

Ah, a squeaker!

00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:56,917

The digital

sports watch is here!

00:07:00,129 --> 00:07:01,964

What the hell?

00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:04,091

Dude, that's not

a digital sports watch.

00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:06,718

Hey, it looks like

one of those Ether-opians.

00:07:06,844 --> 00:07:08,637

Oh, man, they must

have accidentally sent him

00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,139

instead of the sports watch.

00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:11,723

Maybe they took it literally

when we said

00:07:11,849 --> 00:07:12,933

we wanted to adopt a kid.

00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:16,937

Whoa! That was cool.

00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:18,730

Yeah, how did he

make those clicking sounds?

00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:20,774

What's your name dude?

- Mabin.

00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:22,359

I think he said

his name is Marvin.

00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:24,903

Yeah, Starvin' Marvin.

00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:26,989

Nice to meet

you, Starvin' Marvin.

00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:28,991

Hey, mom?

- Yes, hon?

00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:31,702

We found a Ether-opian,

can we keep him?

00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:34,496

Sure, hon.

- Sweet.

00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,540

Dude, let's bring

him to school tomorrow.

00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:38,083

Come on,

Starvin' Marvin,

00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:39,626

I want you to meet

my little brother.

00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:41,795

No, no! He's my son!

I adopted him.

00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,172

It was my mom's credit card.

00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:44,840

Okay, okay,

we'll switch off.

00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,091

Starvin' Marvin can

stay here for a week,

00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,177

then at Stan's, then with me.

00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:50,262

Yeah, and never with Kenny,

because his family is too poor.

00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:51,680

Totally.

- Ahh!

00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:56,351

Look how the leaves

fall so delicately

00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:58,061

on the surface

of the pond.

00:07:58,187 --> 00:08:00,147

It's so beautiful.

00:08:00,272 --> 00:08:04,359

Not as beautiful as you.

00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:10,199

Oh, darling, look.

Thanksgiving turkeys.

00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:15,287

Oh, they're so beautiful.

- Not as beautiful as you.

00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:18,499

Look at the way

they foam at the mouth,

00:08:18,624 --> 00:08:23,337

like beautiful suds of beer.

- Not as beautiful as-

00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:33,347

This is a great way for you

00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:35,140

to experience America,

Starvin' Marvin.

00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,100

This is what we call

an 'all you can eat buffet.

00:08:37,226 --> 00:08:40,437

Yeah, here you get to eat

all you want for only $6.99.

00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:42,481

That's why we all come

here on Tuesday nights,

00:08:42,606 --> 00:08:43,941

except for Kenny's

family, 'cause to them,

00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:45,400

$6.99 is two years' income.

00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:49,071

Why is your family

poor, Starvin' Marvin?

00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:52,199

Is your dad an alcoholic too?

00:08:52,324 --> 00:08:53,700

You see, Starvin' Marvin,

00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:55,911

these are what

we call appetizers.

00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,496

Ap-ee-tizer.

00:08:57,621 --> 00:08:59,414

This is what

you eat before you eat,

00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:02,334

to make you more hungry.

00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:05,212

Well, food is here,

that's it for the appetizers.

00:09:08,924 --> 00:09:11,843

No, Starvin' Marvin,

that's my pot-pie.

00:09:11,969 --> 00:09:13,804

Cartman, you butt-pipe,

this is the time of year you're

00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:16,765

supposed to share.

- Oh yeah, you're right.

00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,725

Are you gonna eat

all of your peach cobbler?

00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:21,144

No, you don't want all that.

Why don't you share it with me?

00:09:21,270 --> 00:09:22,938

Just shove it

on over here.

00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,232

Let me just have

some of that, huh?

00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,777

Children, children!

00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,655

I'm a little disappointed

in your Thanksgiving spirit.

00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,156

Only a few cans have been

00:09:33,282 --> 00:09:35,409

donated to our

canned food drive.

00:09:35,534 --> 00:09:37,369

And can't we do

a little better than

00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:38,912

creamed corn...

00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:42,874

creamed corn...

and...creamed corn?

00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,210

Please bring in more diverse

food, children, or else

00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:49,006

Kenny's family is going to have

a pretty corny Thanksgiving.

00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:55,929

Corny. Gravy.

00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:58,307

Corny

Thanksgiving, hoo!

00:10:00,142 --> 00:10:02,185

Anyway, children,

I understand a few of you have

00:10:02,311 --> 00:10:04,354

brought in something

special for show-and-tell.

00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:06,106

Yeah, yeah, we do!

00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:09,735

All right, boys,

show us what you've brought.

00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:14,531

This is our new Ether-nopian,

Starvin' Marvin.

00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:16,325

He can do really

cool stuff with his voice.

00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:18,160

Show 'em, Starvin' Marvin.

00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:21,538

No, Starvin' Marvin,

that's Kenny's creamed corn.

00:10:21,663 --> 00:10:24,041

No, Starvin' Marvin,

that's a bad Starvin' Marvin!

00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:25,751

Boys,

what the hell are you doing?

00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:27,336

This is horribly,

horribly wrong.

00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:28,920

How did you get this child?

00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:30,255

He was accidentally

delivered to us

00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:31,840

instead

of a sports watch.

00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,550

The sports watch

from the commercial?

00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:35,719

Yeah, that one.

- I want a Starvin' Marvin.

00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:38,639

Me too.

- Yes, I'll pay $50 for one.

00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:42,976

Boys, you're too

young to take care of a child.

00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:44,686

I'm afraid I'm going

to have to call

00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,271

the Red

Cross and have him returned.

00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:47,773

Ah,

I told you we shouldn't have

00:10:47,898 --> 00:10:49,232

brought him to school dude.

00:10:49,358 --> 00:10:51,068

Okay, thank you very much.

00:10:51,193 --> 00:10:53,236

Yes, you can pick

him up tonight. Bye now.

00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:54,821

Now, boys, I hope

you've learned your lesson.

00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:56,281

No.

00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:57,741

You can't

care for this child!

00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:58,950

But I thought we were

supposed

00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:00,410

to care

on Thanksgiving.

00:11:00,535 --> 00:11:01,870

Yes,

but you don't actually get

00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,413

involved with

the child's lives.

00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:05,040

You're supposed

to just send money,

00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,291

and once in a while

they write you a letter.

00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:07,793

You see, Marvin didn't grow up

00:11:07,918 --> 00:11:09,294

in a normal

place like South Park.

00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,004

So why can't

he live here now?

00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:13,131

Because he can't!

- Because why?

00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:15,050

Because eight year

olds can't be parents!

00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,760

Then you take care of him.

00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:20,555

I can't.

I--Umm, I'm very busy.

00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:22,891

I send my $5 a month, see?

00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,686

This sucks,

Starvin' Marvin is our friend.

00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:27,437

Oh well, back

to the poor country with you.

00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,064

You better watch

what you say, Cartman!

00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,774

You might be poor

and hungry some day.

00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:32,776

Yeah, right.

00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:36,363

I knew that you

were the only person

00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:37,948

who would

listen to me, Chef.

00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:39,825

Yeah, well,

let's get it over with.

00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:42,369

This place gives

me the Bubujeebies.

00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:45,330

Look here in my microscope.

Tell me what you see.

00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:49,501

Uhh, I see

an extreme close-up

00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:52,170

of Vanessa Redgrave's

private parts.

00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:53,839

Oh, whoops.

00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:56,425

Now tell me what you see.

00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:58,552

Well, I'm no biologist,

00:11:58,677 --> 00:12:00,679

but I'd say it

looks like turkey DNA.

00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:03,223

Precisely, but look

how rapidly it's dividing.

00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:05,183

What does it mean?

00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:08,270

Means the turkeys are

growing at an exponential rate.

00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:11,606

If we don't destroy them all,

they'll take over the town.

00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:15,485

Maybe the world.

- Oh, fudge!

00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:18,947

Uhh, let me see that

Vanessa Redgrave thing again.

00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,366

Sure.

00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:27,497

Hello there, little boy,

we're looking for a starving

00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:29,666

African child who was

accidentally sent here instead

00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:33,044

of a Teiko sports watch.

00:12:37,716 --> 00:12:39,593

Hey, hey,

what's going on?

00:12:39,718 --> 00:12:42,512

Hey, let go of me!

Hey!

00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:44,431

Hey! I'll kick you in the nuts.

Okay, man?

00:12:44,556 --> 00:12:46,892

Here's your sports watch,

son, sorry for the mix-up.

00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:48,727

Hey! Hey, seriously!

00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:50,645

Hey, you're pissing me off!

00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:52,898

Sweet.

00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,529

So how does this thing work?

00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:01,323

Well mayor,

it's based on the cash grab,

00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:02,783

but instead of money,

the cans of food

00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:04,826

are blown around

inside the capsule.

00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:07,746

The pov inside catches as many

as he can to feed his family.

00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:10,624

Pov?

- Poverty stricken citizen.

00:13:10,749 --> 00:13:12,751

Oh-ho-ho, brilliant.

00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:20,342

What the hell is this?

00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:21,968

I don't know, mayor,

00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:23,470

I don't think it's

listed on the program.

00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:25,305

They're increasing

in number, mayor.

00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:27,265

These are the vicious

turkeys I warned you about.

00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:29,392

It's true mayor!

00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:32,103

Those turkeys just

ripped apart my cafeteria!

00:13:32,229 --> 00:13:33,814

Whoa!

00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:36,441

You won't get away with this,

you bastards!

00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:39,110

Wow! Those are

some pissed off turkeys!

00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:45,408

Okay, people, don't panic!

Bring out the defense squad!

00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,623

We need more than that!

00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:53,959

They'll only come

back in increased numbers!

00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:58,213

Hey, Phillip,

could you pass the beans?

00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,131

Beans? Uh oh,

looks like we'll be

00:14:00,257 --> 00:14:02,050

at war with these

Indians soon.

00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,594

Wait, wait, wait.

00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:07,055

Here it comes.

00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:10,267

Aaaaah,

I crapped in my pants!

00:14:10,392 --> 00:14:12,143

Aaaah!

00:14:12,269 --> 00:14:14,521

I think you got some

spatter on Chief Running Wolf.

00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:16,565

I spattered his face!

00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:19,442

Now he's a smelly Indian!

00:14:19,568 --> 00:14:22,070

We'll be back to part 14

of the "Terrance and Phillip"

00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,531

Thanksgiving Special,

right after this.

00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:27,534

Hunger is an enemy

that we all must fight.

00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:30,328

These children

desperately need your support.

00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:32,581

Hey,

somebody get me out of here!

00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:34,875

This sucks!

So please,

00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,960

call and adopt a child today.

00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:39,462

I'm seriously

getting pissed off over here!!

00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:42,090

You want some

more Cheesy Poofs, hon?

00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,884

Ya, I won da Cheesy Poof.

00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:46,845

Okay.

- Sweet.

00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:49,264

This is serious

bull!

00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:52,559

There has to be a Happy

Burger around here somewhere.

00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:57,606

Excuse me, I am a lost

little boy--Could you help me?

00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:01,568

Well, screw you too!

00:15:01,693 --> 00:15:04,321

What the--Who the hell

let all these flies in here?

00:15:04,446 --> 00:15:08,033

Hasn't anybody ever

heard of insect repellent?

00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:11,286

All right, everyone,

it's time to give out

00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,622

canned food to the poor.

00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,667

Hey, where's Cartman?

00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:20,378

I don't know. Do you

know where he is, Marvin?

00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:24,132

Looks like we have the turkey

problem under control.

00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:26,009

It's time to embrace

the spirit of giving

00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:29,095

with the canned food grab.

00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:34,768

Come on, hurry up.

00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:39,814

Grab a lot son.

00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:43,234

Happy happy Thanksgiving!

Let 'er rip!

00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:49,908

Come on,

grab those cans, little boy!

00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:55,789

- Come on, Kenny!

- Come on, son!

00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:01,169

Now, let's see all

the goodies you're going

00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,880

to take home to your family.

00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:09,469

It looks like he got a--

a can of string beans!

00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:15,183

What the--

00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,977

Dude,

the mutant turkeys are back!

00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:25,193

Okay people, move along,

00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,612

nothing to see here,

you looky-loos.

00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:29,948

I tried to tell you,

but you didn't listen.

00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:32,617

Gather around everybody,

and listen good.

00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:35,704

Go to your

homes and arm your--

00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:45,088

What the hell are

you supposed to be anyway?

00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:47,048

That's not

important right now.

00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:49,551

No! What the hell is this

little thing supposed to be?

00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,094

It doesn't look like anything.

00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:53,638

Chef, the turkeys!

- Oh, All right.

00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:56,057

Listen up everybody,

and listen good.

00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:57,851

Go to your homes

00:16:57,976 --> 00:17:00,353

and arm yourselves

with whatever you can.

00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:05,525

We'll meet back here

in 15 minutes. Hurry!

00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:07,318

We are not going

to let our Thanksgiving

00:17:07,444 --> 00:17:09,988

be ruined

by a bunch of turkeys.

00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:16,828

You guys, seriously,

I'm hungry.

00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,164

I have to eat.

00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:21,249

Ah, sweet!

The Red Cross!

00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:24,669

I'll have fried chicken and a

side of mashed potatoes please.

00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:26,504

Sorry, kid,

but we're out of food.

00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:27,881

We ran out of funding.

00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:29,174

What?

- We just didn't get

00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:30,425

enough sponsors back home,

00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,385

so now we've got

to pack it up.

00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:33,636

But I'm not

a starving Ethiopian!

00:17:33,762 --> 00:17:35,346

I have to get back home too!

00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:37,557

Sorry dude,

we just don't have any funds.

00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:40,310

Here, have

a Teiko sports watch.

00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:44,272

Weak!

00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:50,361

People, we all have to do our

part against the evil turkeys.

00:17:50,487 --> 00:17:52,113

There's too many of them.

00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:55,658

Come on! Where is

that Thanksgiving spirit?

00:17:55,784 --> 00:17:59,245

We can't stop them.

00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:03,792

Today,

you fight for your city!

00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:06,252

You fight for your honor!

00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:09,297

These turkeys will

continue to push until they

00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:12,509

have taken everything from us!

00:18:12,634 --> 00:18:16,054

These fudged-up turkeys

from the the crustaceous era

00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:18,098

can take our lives,

00:18:18,223 --> 00:18:21,851

but they can never

take our freedom!

00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:27,524

Whoo! Yeah!

Whoo!

00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,167

Here you go, turkeys!

00:18:52,257 --> 00:18:53,967

Does my hair look okay?

00:18:57,595 --> 00:18:59,973

Can't go on...

00:19:00,098 --> 00:19:04,102

need...

appetizer...

00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:08,398

I'm sorry, God!

I'm sorry I mocked poor people.

00:19:08,523 --> 00:19:10,859

I'm sorry I

wasn't more sensitive.

00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:15,196

Please, please, God.

00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:22,162

My god has forsaken me.

00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:36,634

Huh, I wonder what's in here?

00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:46,561

Snacky Cakes!

Mmmm!

00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:55,904

Sally Struthers?

- Who the hell are you?

00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:59,532

Give me that cake!

- No, this is my cake!

00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:01,701

No, Sally Struthers,

you give me that cake!

00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:03,870

No! You can't have any!

00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:06,873

No, Sally Struthers,

that's my cake!

00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:15,548

You guys, Sally Struthers

is holding food from us!

00:20:15,673 --> 00:20:19,093

Uh-oh.

00:20:24,015 --> 00:20:25,808

Ahhh!

00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:34,317

Stay close, children.

00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:45,453

Oh, my God,

they've killed Kenny!

00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,288

You bastards!

00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:49,457

The last three are

getting away, shoot 'em, Ned!

00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:55,004

We did it!

- My God, what have we done?

00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:56,965

We've saved Thanksgiving.

00:20:57,090 --> 00:21:00,009

But all those poor turkeys,

they're--they're all dead.

00:21:00,134 --> 00:21:04,138

Every turkey dies,

not every turkey truly lives.

00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:05,932

As horrible as they were,

00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:07,767

they--they felt

like a part of me.

00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:10,311

Perhaps I shouldn't be

toying with God's creations,

00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:13,523

perhaps I should just--

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:21:13,648 --> 00:21:15,400

Excuse me sir,

we're looking for a little

00:21:15,525 --> 00:21:17,568

starving Ethiopian boy

who was accidentally delivered

00:21:17,694 --> 00:21:19,737

to South Park instead

of a Teiko sports watch.

00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:21,906

Have you seen anyone

fitting this description.

00:21:22,031 --> 00:21:25,159

Oh, that could be a hundred

kids in this town, mister.

00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:30,415

There you are.

Are you ready to go home now?

00:21:40,717 --> 00:21:42,593

Wow,

it sucks he has to leave.

00:21:42,719 --> 00:21:45,013

Yeah, I like him

a lot more than Cartman.

00:21:45,138 --> 00:21:47,140

You know, I think

I've learned something today.

00:21:47,265 --> 00:21:49,726

It's really easy not to think

of images on TV as real people.

00:21:49,851 --> 00:21:51,519

But they are.

00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:53,271

That's why it's easy

to ignore those commercials,

00:21:53,396 --> 00:21:55,481

but, people on TV are

just as real as you or I.

00:21:55,606 --> 00:21:57,358

Yeah.

00:21:57,483 --> 00:21:59,652

And that means that

MacGyver is a real person too.

00:21:59,777 --> 00:22:02,739

We're terribly sorry

about the mix-up, little boy.

00:22:02,864 --> 00:22:04,699

We'll get you

back home immediately.

00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:06,617

That's right you will,

God damn it.

00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:08,911

Move it povs,

I'm an American!

00:22:34,687 --> 00:22:36,522

Lord, on this day of thanks,

00:22:36,647 --> 00:22:39,192

we would like to extend

our deepest gratitude for this

00:22:39,317 --> 00:22:41,819

incredible bounty

of green beans

00:22:41,944 --> 00:22:44,072

you have

bestowed upon us.

00:22:44,197 --> 00:22:46,324

And though for some

reason you found it necessary

00:22:46,449 --> 00:22:49,452

to take our son from us,

and though you for some reason

00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:53,873

find pleasure in watching us

suffer, still, we give thanks.

00:22:53,998 --> 00:22:57,168

Amen.

- Amen.

00:22:57,293 --> 00:23:00,338

Does anybody

have a can opener?

00:23:00,463 --> 00:23:02,673

God Damn-it.

00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:07,383

Kids:

Hidey ho!

00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:08,968

I'm rootin' tootin'

Trey Parker.

00:00:09,093 --> 00:00:10,302

And I'm pistol-slingin'

Matt Stone.

00:00:10,428 --> 00:00:11,429

And this here's

old Scratch.

00:00:11,554 --> 00:00:12,805

Say hi, old fella.

00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:14,390

Kids:

Hi, Scratch.

00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:15,933

You know, Matt and I are

right excited

00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:17,685

about this next episode

of "South Park,"

00:00:17,810 --> 00:00:19,687

because it's our

favorite episode.

00:00:19,812 --> 00:00:21,731

That's right.

It's called "Starvin' Marvin,"

00:00:21,856 --> 00:00:23,607

and it originally aired

on Thanksgiving.

00:00:23,733 --> 00:00:25,568

In it, the boys celebrate

the holiday

00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,570

with a visitor

from a far-off land.

00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:29,780

You know, when Comedy Central

Called us and asked us

00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:31,407

to do a Thanksgiving special,

00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,534

the first thing that

went through my mind was,

00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:36,495

"Boy, I'd like to have

sex with Jennifer Aniston."

00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:38,914

Cup her perky breasts

in my hands

00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:40,791

and put my hand

back and kind of--

00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:42,626

nice little

tight buns there.

00:00:42,752 --> 00:00:44,420

But you know,

the thing about this episode

00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,380

is that it teaches

racial tolerance,

00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:47,882

to treat everyone

as an equal regardless

00:00:48,007 --> 00:00:49,550

of the color

of their skin.

00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:51,093

Oh, look,

it's our Indian friend,

00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:52,553

Indian Companion.

Say hi, kids.

00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:54,138

Kids:

Hi!

00:00:54,263 --> 00:00:55,765

What's happenin',

Indian Companion?

00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:58,934

Something coming.

Grizzly bear.

00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:00,352

Oh, well, why don't you

go over there

00:01:00,478 --> 00:01:01,896

and kick him

in the balls?

00:01:02,021 --> 00:01:04,815

Grizzly bears like

being kicked in the balls.

00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:06,567

[both laughing]

00:01:06,692 --> 00:01:08,611

Dumb ass.

- He's so stupid.

00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,613

Well, why don't you all

sit back and have

00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:13,407

a rootin' tootin' good time

with "Starvin' Marvin"?

00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:16,327

Yee-ha!

00:01:16,452 --> 00:01:17,578

[guns pop]

00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:20,414

kids:

Hooray!

00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:30,174

[twangy music]

00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:31,675

♪ I'm going down

to South Park ♪

00:01:31,801 --> 00:01:33,511

♪ Gonna have

myself a time ♪

00:01:33,636 --> 00:01:35,304

all: ♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:36,931

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:01:37,056 --> 00:01:38,390

♪ Going down

to South Park ♪

00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:40,351

♪ Gonna leave my

woes behind ♪

00:01:40,476 --> 00:01:42,061

♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:43,813

♪ People spouting:

"Howdy neighbor!" ♪

00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:45,314

♪ Headed on up

to South Park ♪

00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,024

♪ Gonna see if

I can't unwind ♪

00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:50,402

[singing indistinctly]

00:01:50,528 --> 00:01:51,904

♪ So come on down

to South Park ♪

00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:53,823

♪ And meet some

friends of mine ♪

00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:57,243

[all laughing]

00:01:57,368 --> 00:01:58,786

That was awesome!

- Yeah!

00:01:58,911 --> 00:02:00,913

Would you boys

like some Cheesy Poofs?

00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:02,832

Get out of the way, mom!

00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:04,250

The "Terrance and Phillip"

Thanksgiving Special is on.

00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:05,751

Sure, hon.

00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:07,336

And yeah,

we want Cheesy Poofs!

00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:08,838

Hey, Terrance, looks like

this might

00:02:08,963 --> 00:02:10,756

be a good

place to start a new colony.

00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:12,174

It sure does, Phillip.

00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:13,592

No one will oppress

our religion here.

00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:14,593

[farts]

00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:16,929

[both laughing]

00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:19,515

You stained

my pilgrim hat, butt-pipe!

00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,642

Did you guys see that?

That was sweet.

00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:23,727

Coming up next

on the "Terrance and Phillip"

00:02:23,853 --> 00:02:26,313

Thanksgiving Special, Phillip

farts on Terrance and laughs.

00:02:26,438 --> 00:02:27,648

Oh, cool.

00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:29,483

And now a word

from our sponsor.

00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:31,694

Here in the heart

of Africa, children are dying.

00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:33,612

Not from disease or war,

but from hunger.

00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:35,656

I'm Sally Struthers.

00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:38,117

These children are in desperate

need, and only you can help.

00:02:38,242 --> 00:02:39,994

Hey, who's that fat chick?

00:02:40,119 --> 00:02:41,287

Sally Struthers, dude.

She used to be on "Full House."

00:02:41,412 --> 00:02:42,746

Oh.

00:02:42,872 --> 00:02:44,957

You see, here,

in the middle of Africa,

00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:46,750

food is extremely scarce.

00:02:46,876 --> 00:02:47,835

Doesn't look like she's

having

00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,336

any trouble finding food.

00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:50,337

Yeah,

she's fatter than Cartman.

00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:52,214

Yeah.

Hey!

00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:55,259

For just $5 a month,

you can sponsor a child.

00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:57,678

That's stupid, who

the hell would want to do that?

00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,638

Sponsor now,

and we'll also

00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:02,641

send you this Teiko digital

sports watch as a free gift.

00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:03,809

Kick ass!

00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:05,603

Sweet!

- Whoo-hoo!

00:03:05,728 --> 00:03:08,272

I'll call--I know

my mom's credit card number.

00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:09,857

Did they say

if it's waterproof?

00:03:09,982 --> 00:03:12,067

Hello?

Is this Sally Struthers?

00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:13,736

Oh.

- What did she say?

00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,613

Shut up butt-pirate,

I'm trying to hear.

00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:17,823

Ass-rammer.

- Yeah? Yeah.

00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:19,533

We want to adopt

a starving Ether-nopian.

00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,160

When do we

get the sports watch?

00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:24,288

Just a second fat-ass!

- You vas-deferens!

00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:26,540

Hello?

No, no, it's a ma--

00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:28,876

Vas-deferens?

00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:30,669

[muffled speech]

- Oh.

00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:32,546

Ask her if we get

the watch right away.

00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:34,924

Do we get the sports

watch right away?

00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:36,800

She says we do.

all: Cool.

00:03:36,926 --> 00:03:40,304

I get to wear it first,

you guys.

00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:41,764

I can't wait to get out

of school

00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:43,307

and get

our Teiko sports watch.

00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:45,100

Yeah, but I get

to wear it first, I said.

00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:47,937

Children, children!

To honor this special time

00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:50,439

of year, we'll be

doing a canned food drive.

00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,858

Does anybody know

what a canned food drive is?

00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:54,401

Yes, Eric?

00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:56,070

When they cut up a chick's

stomach

00:03:56,195 --> 00:03:58,113

to get a baby out?

00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:01,283

No, that's a Caesarian

Section, Eric, but that's okay,

00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:04,578

remember, there are no stupid

questions, just stupid people.

00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:07,039

A canned food drive is

when we collect canned food

00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:09,708

for poor people who can't

afford to eat on Thanksgiving.

00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:12,044

You mean, like Kenny?

- Exactly.

00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:13,796

Mr. Garrison?

00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:15,798

Why do poor people

always smell like sour milk?

00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:18,050

I don't know, Eric,

they just do.

00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:19,677

[sniffs]

00:04:19,802 --> 00:04:21,053

Now, children,

I want each of you to bring

00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:22,638

in one can of food.

00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,640

And later,

the mayor of South Park will

00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:27,643

divide it up amongst Kenny's

family and other poor people.

00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,979

I'm not bringing in food

for poor people, screw them!

00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:32,564

Don't you want to help

those who are less fortunate?

00:04:32,690 --> 00:04:34,858

Hey you guys,

do you hear something?

00:04:34,984 --> 00:04:37,069

I--I think I hear

the flower children calling!

00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:38,946

This is the one time of year

00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:41,657

you're supposed to care

about people who can't eat!

00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,534

Isn't it

enough that I pay taxes?

00:04:43,659 --> 00:04:45,577

What about the poor

houses that I pay for?

00:04:45,703 --> 00:04:48,998

Many would rather

die than go to those places!

00:04:49,123 --> 00:04:50,541

Well then,

perhaps they should,

00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:52,334

and decrease

the surplus population!

00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,712

Okay, kids, that's

enough Dickens for one day.

00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:56,880

Let's get on with our lesson,

right, Mr. Hat?

00:04:57,006 --> 00:04:58,716

That's right,

Mr. Garrison,

00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:00,634

Englebert Humperdink

was the first person

00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:02,052

on the moon.

Who was the second?

00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:05,014

[gobbling]

00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:06,640

Aaaah!

00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:09,601

What the hell is going on?

- Aaaah!

00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:14,732

[gobbling continues]

00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:22,531

Well,

you don't see that every day.

00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:26,035

Okay, now, once we have all

the canned foods collected,

00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:29,246

we'll need some clever way

to distribute them to the poor.

00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:31,582

It should be

something festive.

00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:34,418

Mayor,

we've got a very big problem.

00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:35,794

Ah, you're that insane

genetic engineer

00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:37,671

from up on the hill, right?

00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:40,507

Yes, and I may have

made a horrible mistake.

00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:42,259

I was trying

to genetically engineer

00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:43,260

turkeys

for Thanksgiving.

00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:44,928

Uh-huh.

00:05:45,054 --> 00:05:46,096

You know,

to provide food for the needy.

00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:48,057

Of course.

00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:50,642

Well, something went wrong

and the turkeys broke free.

00:05:50,768 --> 00:05:54,229

And the worst part is,

they're really pissed off.

00:05:54,355 --> 00:05:58,650

Naturally.

Oh, do go on.

00:05:58,776 --> 00:06:01,278

We have to stop them or--or

they could destroy everything.

00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:02,863

Time is short.

00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:06,784

[cuckoo clock dings]

You were saying?

00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:09,912

They act just like normal

turkeys, except they're evil.

00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:12,873

Oh, my!

00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:15,834

[donkey brays]

00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:18,170

Somehow I don't think

you're taking me seriously.

00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:21,882

Now why

would you say that?

00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:24,176

all: Did it come?

Did it come? Is it here yet?

00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,762

I get to use

it first, you guys!

00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:29,890

Mom, did our digital

sports watch come yet?

00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,600

Not yet, hon.

00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,811

Damn.

- Hey, look, you guys.

00:06:33,936 --> 00:06:36,355

And now, back to Part 2

of the "Terrance and Phillip"

00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,732

Thanksgiving Special.

00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:40,025

I sure am cold, Phillip.

00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:41,777

Yes, and hungry too.

00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,862

Being a pilgrim

totally sucks ass.

00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:45,489

Gosh, I hope we

don't starve.

00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:46,782

[high-pitched fart]

00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:50,619

Ah, a squeaker!

[laughter]

00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:54,164

[doorbell rings]

[knock on door]

00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:56,917

The digital

sports watch is here!

00:07:00,129 --> 00:07:01,964

What the hell?

00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:04,091

Dude, that's not

a digital sports watch.

00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:06,718

Hey, it looks like

one of those Ether-opians.

00:07:06,844 --> 00:07:08,637

Oh, man, they must

have accidentally sent him

00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,139

instead of the sports watch.

00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:11,723

Maybe they took it literally

when we said

00:07:11,849 --> 00:07:12,933

we wanted to adopt a kid.

00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:15,185

[clicking and vocalizing]

00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:16,937

Whoa! That was cool.

00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:18,730

Yeah, how did he

make those clicking sounds?

00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:20,774

What's your name dude?

- [clicks] Mabin.

00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:22,359

I think he said

his name is Marvin.

00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:24,903

Yeah, Starvin' Marvin.

00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:26,989

Nice to meet

you, Starvin' Marvin.

00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:28,991

Hey, mom?

- Yes, hon?

00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:31,702

We found a Ether-opian,

can we keep him?

00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:34,496

Sure, hon.

- Sweet.

00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,540

Dude, let's bring

him to school tomorrow.

00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:38,083

Come on,

Starvin' Marvin,

00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:39,626

I want you to meet

my little brother.

00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:41,795

No, no! He's my son!

I adopted him.

00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,172

It was my mom's credit card.

00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:44,840

Okay, okay,

we'll switch off.

00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,091

Starvin' Marvin can

stay here for a week,

00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,177

then at Stan's, then with me.

00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:50,262

Yeah, and never with Kenny,

because his family is too poor.

00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:51,680

Totally.

- Ahh!

00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,432

[soft music]

00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:56,351

Look how the leaves

fall so delicately

00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:58,061

on the surface

of the pond.

00:07:58,187 --> 00:08:00,147

It's so beautiful.

00:08:00,272 --> 00:08:04,359

Not as beautiful as you.

- [sighs romantically]

00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:07,654

[distant gobbling]

00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:10,199

Oh, darling, look.

Thanksgiving turkeys.

00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:15,287

Oh, they're so beautiful.

- Not as beautiful as you.

00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:18,499

Look at the way

they foam at the mouth,

00:08:18,624 --> 00:08:23,337

like beautiful suds of beer.

- Not as beautiful as-

00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:26,381

[screaming]

00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:33,347

This is a great way for you

00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:35,140

to experience America,

Starvin' Marvin.

00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,100

This is what we call

an 'all you can eat buffet.

00:08:37,226 --> 00:08:40,437

Yeah, here you get to eat

all you want for only $6.99.

00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:42,481

That's why we all come

here on Tuesday nights,

00:08:42,606 --> 00:08:43,941

except for Kenny's

family, 'cause to them,

00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:45,400

$6.99 is two years' income.

00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:47,069

[laughter]

00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:49,071

Why is your family

poor, Starvin' Marvin?

00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:52,199

Is your dad an alcoholic too?

00:08:52,324 --> 00:08:53,700

You see, Starvin' Marvin,

00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:55,911

these are what

we call appetizers.

00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,496

Ap-ee-tizer.

00:08:57,621 --> 00:08:59,414

This is what

you eat before you eat,

00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:02,334

to make you more hungry.

00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:05,212

Well, food is here,

that's it for the appetizers.

00:09:08,924 --> 00:09:11,843

No, Starvin' Marvin,

that's my pot-pie.

00:09:11,969 --> 00:09:13,804

Cartman, you butt-pipe,

this is the time of year you're

00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:16,765

supposed to share.

- Oh yeah, you're right.

00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,725

Are you gonna eat

all of your peach cobbler?

00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:21,144

No, you don't want all that.

Why don't you share it with me?

00:09:21,270 --> 00:09:22,938

Just shove it

on over here.

00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,232

Let me just have

some of that, huh?

00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,777

Children, children!

00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,655

I'm a little disappointed

in your Thanksgiving spirit.

00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,156

Only a few cans have been

00:09:33,282 --> 00:09:35,409

donated to our

canned food drive.

00:09:35,534 --> 00:09:37,369

And can't we do

a little better than

00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:38,912

creamed corn...

00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:42,874

creamed corn...

and...creamed corn?

00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,210

Please bring in more diverse

food, children, or else

00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:49,006

Kenny's family is going to have

a pretty corny Thanksgiving.

00:09:49,131 --> 00:09:50,674

[chuckles]

00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:53,010

[laughing]

00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:55,929

[laughing]

Corny. Gravy.

00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:58,307

Corny

Thanksgiving, hoo!

00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:00,017

[laughs]

00:10:00,142 --> 00:10:02,185

Anyway, children,

I understand a few of you have

00:10:02,311 --> 00:10:04,354

brought in something

special for show-and-tell.

00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:06,106

all: Yeah, yeah, we do!

00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:09,735

All right, boys,

show us what you've brought.

00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:14,531

This is our new Ether-nopian,

Starvin' Marvin.

00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:16,325

He can do really

cool stuff with his voice.

00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:18,160

Show 'em, Starvin' Marvin.

00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:21,538

No, Starvin' Marvin,

that's Kenny's creamed corn.

00:10:21,663 --> 00:10:24,041

No, Starvin' Marvin,

that's a bad Starvin' Marvin!

00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:25,751

Boys,

what the hell are you doing?

00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:27,336

This is horribly,

horribly wrong.

00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:28,920

How did you get this child?

00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:30,255

He was accidentally

delivered to us

00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:31,840

instead

of a sports watch.

00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,550

The sports watch

from the commercial?

00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:35,719

Yeah, that one.

- I want a Starvin' Marvin.

00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:38,639

Me too.

- Yes, I'll pay $50 for one.

00:10:38,764 --> 00:10:40,432

[overlapping chatter]

00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:42,976

Boys, you're too

young to take care of a child.

00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:44,686

I'm afraid I'm going

to have to call

00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,271

the Red

Cross and have him returned.

00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:47,773

Ah,

I told you we shouldn't have

00:10:47,898 --> 00:10:49,232

brought him to school dude.

00:10:49,358 --> 00:10:51,068

Okay, thank you very much.

00:10:51,193 --> 00:10:53,236

Yes, you can pick

him up tonight. Bye now.

00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:54,821

Now, boys, I hope

you've learned your lesson.

00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:56,281

No.

00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:57,741

You can't

care for this child!

00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:58,950

But I thought we were

supposed

00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:00,410

to care

on Thanksgiving.

00:11:00,535 --> 00:11:01,870

Yes,

but you don't actually get

00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,413

involved with

the child's lives.

00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:05,040

You're supposed

to just send money,

00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,291

and once in a while

they write you a letter.

00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:07,793

You see, Marvin didn't grow up

00:11:07,918 --> 00:11:09,294

in a normal

place like South Park.

00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,004

So why can't

he live here now?

00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:13,131

Because he can't!

- Because why?

00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:15,050

Because eight year

olds can't be parents!

00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,760

Then you take care of him.

00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:20,555

I can't.

I--Umm, I'm very busy.

00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:22,891

I send my $5 a month, see?

00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,686

This sucks,

Starvin' Marvin is our friend.

00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:27,437

Oh well, back

to the poor country with you.

00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,064

You better watch

what you say, Cartman!

00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,774

You might be poor

and hungry some day.

00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:32,776

[chuckling]

Yeah, right.

00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,820

[crickets chirping]

00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:36,363

I knew that you

were the only person

00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:37,948

who would

listen to me, Chef.

00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:39,825

Yeah, well,

let's get it over with.

00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:42,369

This place gives

me the Bubujeebies.

00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:45,330

Look here in my microscope.

Tell me what you see.

00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:49,501

Uhh, I see

an extreme close-up

00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:52,170

of Vanessa Redgrave's

private parts.

00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:53,839

Oh, whoops.

00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:56,425

Now tell me what you see.

00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:58,552

Well, I'm no biologist,

00:11:58,677 --> 00:12:00,679

but I'd say it

looks like turkey DNA.

00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:03,223

Precisely, but look

how rapidly it's dividing.

00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:05,183

What does it mean?

00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:08,270

Means the turkeys are

growing at an exponential rate.

00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:11,606

If we don't destroy them all,

they'll take over the town.

00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:15,485

Maybe the world.

- Oh, fudge!

00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:18,947

Uhh, let me see that

Vanessa Redgrave thing again.

00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,366

Sure.

00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:27,497

Hello there, little boy,

we're looking for a starving

00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:29,666

African child who was

accidentally sent here instead

00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:33,044

of a Teiko sports watch.

00:12:37,716 --> 00:12:39,593

Hey, hey,

what's going on?

00:12:39,718 --> 00:12:42,512

Hey, let go of me!

Hey!

00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:44,431

Hey! I'll kick you in the nuts.

Okay, man?

00:12:44,556 --> 00:12:46,892

Here's your sports watch,

son, sorry for the mix-up.

00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:48,727

Hey! Hey, seriously!

00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:50,645

Hey, you're pissing me off!

00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:52,898

[door closes]

Sweet.

00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,529

So how does this thing work?

00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:01,323

Well mayor,

it's based on the cash grab,

00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:02,783

but instead of money,

the cans of food

00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:04,826

are blown around

inside the capsule.

00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:07,746

The pov inside catches as many

as he can to feed his family.

00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:10,624

Pov?

- Poverty stricken citizen.

00:13:10,749 --> 00:13:12,751

Oh-ho-ho, brilliant.

00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:17,255

[gobbling]

00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:20,342

[screams]

What the hell is this?

00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:21,968

I don't know, mayor,

00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:23,470

I don't think it's

listed on the program.

00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:25,305

They're increasing

in number, mayor.

00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:27,265

These are the vicious

turkeys I warned you about.

00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:29,392

[stammering]

It's true mayor!

00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:32,103

Those turkeys just

ripped apart my cafeteria!

00:13:32,229 --> 00:13:33,814

Whoa!

00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:36,441

You won't get away with this,

you bastards!

00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:39,110

Wow! Those are

some pissed off turkeys!

00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:45,408

Okay, people, don't panic!

Bring out the defense squad!

00:13:45,534 --> 00:13:49,913

[gunfire]

[gobbling]

00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,623

We need more than that!

00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:53,959

They'll only come

back in increased numbers!

00:13:54,084 --> 00:13:55,460

["Terrance and Phillip" music]

00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:58,213

Hey, Phillip,

could you pass the beans?

00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,131

Beans? Uh oh,

looks like we'll be

00:14:00,257 --> 00:14:02,050

at war with these

Indians soon.

00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,594

[grunts]

Wait, wait, wait.

00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:07,055

[straining]

Here it comes.

00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,932

[farts]

00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:10,267

Aaaaah,

I crapped in my pants!

00:14:10,392 --> 00:14:12,143

Aaaah!

[laughter]

00:14:12,269 --> 00:14:14,521

I think you got some

spatter on Chief Running Wolf.

00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:16,565

[laughter]

I spattered his face!

00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:19,442

Now he's a smelly Indian!

[laughter]

00:14:19,568 --> 00:14:22,070

We'll be back to part 14

of the "Terrance and Phillip"

00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,531

Thanksgiving Special,

right after this.

00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:27,534

Hunger is an enemy

that we all must fight.

00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:30,328

These children

desperately need your support.

00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:32,581

Hey,

somebody get me out of here!

00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:34,875

This sucks!

So please,

00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,960

call and adopt a child today.

00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:39,462

I'm seriously

getting pissed off over here!!

00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:42,090

You want some

more Cheesy Poofs, hon?

00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,884

Ya, I won da Cheesy Poof.

00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:46,845

Okay.

- Sweet.

00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:49,264

This is serious

bull[bleep]!

00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:52,559

There has to be a Happy

Burger around here somewhere.

00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:57,606

Excuse me, I am a lost

little boy--Could you help me?

00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:01,568

Well, screw you too!

00:15:01,693 --> 00:15:04,321

What the--Who the hell

let all these flies in here?

00:15:04,446 --> 00:15:08,033

Hasn't anybody ever

heard of insect repellent?

00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:11,286

All right, everyone,

it's time to give out

00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,622

canned food to the poor.

00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:15,957

[cheers and applause]

00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,667

Hey, where's Cartman?

00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:20,378

I don't know. Do you

know where he is, Marvin?

00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:24,132

Looks like we have the turkey

problem under control.

00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:26,009

It's time to embrace

the spirit of giving

00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:29,095

with the canned food grab.

00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:31,431

[cheers and applause]

00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:34,768

Come on, hurry up.

00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:39,814

Grab a lot son.

00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:43,234

Happy happy Thanksgiving!

Let 'er rip!

00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,154

[machine whirring]

00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:49,908

Come on,

grab those cans, little boy!

00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:55,789

both: Come on, Kenny!

- Come on, son!

00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:01,169

Now, let's see all

the goodies you're going

00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,880

to take home to your family.

00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:09,469

It looks like he got a--

a can of string beans!

00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:11,096

[cheers and applause]

00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:13,807

[distant gobbling]

00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:15,183

What the--

00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,977

Dude,

the mutant turkeys are back!

00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:21,106

[gobbling]

00:16:21,231 --> 00:16:23,108

[all screaming]

00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:25,193

Okay people, move along,

00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,612

nothing to see here,

you looky-loos.

00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:29,948

I tried to tell you,

but you didn't listen.

00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:32,617

Gather around everybody,

and listen good.

00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:35,704

Go to your

homes and arm your--

00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:45,088

What the hell are

you supposed to be anyway?

00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:47,048

That's not

important right now.

00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:49,551

No! What the hell is this

little thing supposed to be?

00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,094

It doesn't look like anything.

00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:53,638

Chef, the turkeys!

- Oh, All right.

00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:56,057

Listen up everybody,

and listen good.

00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:57,851

Go to your homes

00:16:57,976 --> 00:17:00,353

and arm yourselves

with whatever you can.

00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:05,525

We'll meet back here

in 15 minutes. Hurry!

00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:07,318

We are not going

to let our Thanksgiving

00:17:07,444 --> 00:17:09,988

be ruined

by a bunch of turkeys.

00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:16,828

[grunts] You guys, seriously,

I'm hungry.

00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,164

I have to eat.

00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:21,249

Ah, sweet!

The Red Cross!

00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:24,669

I'll have fried chicken and a

side of mashed potatoes please.

00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:26,504

Sorry, kid,

but we're out of food.

00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:27,881

We ran out of funding.

00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:29,174

What?

- We just didn't get

00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:30,425

enough sponsors back home,

00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,385

so now we've got

to pack it up.

00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:33,636

But I'm not

a starving Ethiopian!

00:17:33,762 --> 00:17:35,346

I have to get back home too!

00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:37,557

Sorry dude,

we just don't have any funds.

00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:40,310

Here, have

a Teiko sports watch.

00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:41,770

[tires squeal]

00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:44,272

Weak!

00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:50,361

People, we all have to do our

part against the evil turkeys.

00:17:50,487 --> 00:17:52,113

There's too many of them.

00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:55,658

Come on! Where is

that Thanksgiving spirit?

00:17:55,784 --> 00:17:59,245

We can't stop them.

00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:00,914

[horse whinnies]

00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:03,792

Today,

you fight for your city!

00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:06,252

You fight for your honor!

00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:09,297

These turkeys will

continue to push until they

00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:12,509

have taken everything from us!

00:18:12,634 --> 00:18:16,054

These fudged-up turkeys

from the the crustaceous era

00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:18,098

can take our lives,

00:18:18,223 --> 00:18:21,851

but they can never

take our freedom!

00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:25,021

[cheers and applause]

00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:27,524

Whoo! Yeah!

Whoo!

00:18:27,649 --> 00:18:32,153

[gobbling intensely]

00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:35,907

[continues gobbling]

00:18:36,032 --> 00:18:38,243

[gobbles intensely]

00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:42,497

[all gobbling]

00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,666

[cheering]

00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,167

Here you go, turkeys!

00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:52,132

[overlapping battlecries

and gobbling]

00:18:52,257 --> 00:18:53,967

Does my hair look okay?

00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:57,470

[bird squawks]

[gasping]

00:18:57,595 --> 00:18:59,973

Can't go on...

00:19:00,098 --> 00:19:04,102

need...

appetizer...

00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:08,398

I'm sorry, God!

I'm sorry I mocked poor people.

00:19:08,523 --> 00:19:10,859

I'm sorry I

wasn't more sensitive.

00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:15,196

Please, please, God.

[grunts]

00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:19,492

[wind blowing]

00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:22,162

My god has forsaken me.

00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:31,087

[gasps]

00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:33,590

[grunts]

00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:36,634

Huh, I wonder what's in here?

00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:42,432

[triumphant music]

00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:46,561

Snacky Cakes!

Mmmm!

00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:52,692

[slurping]

00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:55,904

Sally Struthers?

- Who the hell are you?

00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:59,532

Give me that cake!

- No, this is my cake!

00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:01,701

No, Sally Struthers,

you give me that cake!

00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:03,870

No! You can't have any!

00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:06,873

No, Sally Struthers,

that's my cake!

00:20:06,998 --> 00:20:10,668

[screaming indistinctly]

00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:15,548

You guys, Sally Struthers

is holding food from us!

00:20:15,673 --> 00:20:19,093

Uh-oh.

[smacking]

00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:23,890

[overlapping battlecries

and gobbling]

00:20:24,015 --> 00:20:25,808

Ahhh!

- [grunting]

00:20:25,934 --> 00:20:28,269

[gunfire]

00:20:28,394 --> 00:20:31,773

[yells indistinctly]

00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:34,317

Stay close, children.

00:20:34,442 --> 00:20:35,693

[turkey squawks]

00:20:35,818 --> 00:20:37,612

[all cheering]

00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:39,197

[muffled speech]

00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:41,991

[screaming]

[angry gobbling]

00:20:42,116 --> 00:20:43,534

[grunts]

00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:45,453

Oh, my God,

they've killed Kenny!

00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,288

You bastards!

00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:49,457

The last three are

getting away, shoot 'em, Ned!

00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,292

[gunfire and squawks]

00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:55,004

We did it!

- My God, what have we done?

00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:56,965

We've saved Thanksgiving.

00:20:57,090 --> 00:21:00,009

But all those poor turkeys,

they're--they're all dead.

00:21:00,134 --> 00:21:04,138

Every turkey dies,

not every turkey truly lives.

00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:05,932

As horrible as they were,

00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:07,767

they--they felt

like a part of me.

00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:10,311

Perhaps I shouldn't be

toying with God's creations,

00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:13,523

perhaps I should just--

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:21:13,648 --> 00:21:15,400

Excuse me sir,

we're looking for a little

00:21:15,525 --> 00:21:17,568

starving Ethiopian boy

who was accidentally delivered

00:21:17,694 --> 00:21:19,737

to South Park instead

of a Teiko sports watch.

00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:21,906

Have you seen anyone

fitting this description.

00:21:22,031 --> 00:21:25,159

Oh, that could be a hundred

kids in this town, mister.

00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:30,415

There you are.

Are you ready to go home now?

00:21:30,540 --> 00:21:35,086

[soft music]

00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:40,591

[music continues]

00:21:40,717 --> 00:21:42,593

Wow,

it sucks he has to leave.

00:21:42,719 --> 00:21:45,013

Yeah, I like him

a lot more than Cartman.

00:21:45,138 --> 00:21:47,140

You know, I think

I've learned something today.

00:21:47,265 --> 00:21:49,726

It's really easy not to think

of images on TV as real people.

00:21:49,851 --> 00:21:51,519

But they are.

00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:53,271

That's why it's easy

to ignore those commercials,

00:21:53,396 --> 00:21:55,481

but, people on TV are

just as real as you or I.

00:21:55,606 --> 00:21:57,358

Yeah.

00:21:57,483 --> 00:21:59,652

And that means that

MacGyver is a real person too.

00:21:59,777 --> 00:22:02,739

We're terribly sorry

about the mix-up, little boy.

00:22:02,864 --> 00:22:04,699

We'll get you

back home immediately.

00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:06,617

That's right you will,

God damn it.

00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:08,911

Move it povs,

I'm an American!

00:22:09,037 --> 00:22:11,789

[jet engine humming]

00:22:13,458 --> 00:22:18,588

[clicking and vocalizing

in native language]

00:22:26,095 --> 00:22:28,848

[triumphant tribal music]

00:22:28,973 --> 00:22:32,226

[muffled yelling]

00:22:32,352 --> 00:22:34,562

[dogs barking]

00:22:34,687 --> 00:22:36,522

Lord, on this day of thanks,

00:22:36,647 --> 00:22:39,192

we would like to extend

our deepest gratitude for this

00:22:39,317 --> 00:22:41,819

incredible bounty

of green beans

00:22:41,944 --> 00:22:44,072

you have

bestowed upon us.

00:22:44,197 --> 00:22:46,324

And though for some

reason you found it necessary

00:22:46,449 --> 00:22:49,452

to take our son from us,

and though you for some reason

00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:53,873

find pleasure in watching us

suffer, still, we give thanks.

00:22:53,998 --> 00:22:57,168

Amen.

- Amen.

00:22:57,293 --> 00:23:00,338

Does anybody

have a can opener?

00:23:00,463 --> 00:23:02,673

God Damn-it.

00:23:02,799 --> 00:23:06,052

♪♪