Конъюнктивит

00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:20,257

— Что это за фигня?

— Похоже на НЛО

00:02:20,427 --> 00:02:22,687

Не существует никаких НЛО

00:02:24,597 --> 00:02:26,587

Давай отнесем его в морг

00:02:32,038 --> 00:02:35,668

Подождите до завтра, когда увидите

мой костюм на Хэллоуин. Он охренен.

00:02:35,838 --> 00:02:41,038

— Чувак, он не может быть кручего моего

— Мы должны идти домой и подготовить наши костюмы

00:02:49,658 --> 00:02:53,278

Я думаю, смерть ребенка

не самая веселая вещь

00:02:53,458 --> 00:02:56,288

Даа, я понимаю о чем ты

00:02:57,828 --> 00:03:02,489

— Марти, ты обязательно должен мазать этим все?

— Я не знаю, просто после него вкус становится таким английским

00:03:02,699 --> 00:03:05,169

Ну, оставим его стекать

00:03:11,170 --> 00:03:12,320

*Бальзамирующая жидкость*

00:03:21,249 --> 00:03:25,249

Ну так вот, некрофил говорит,

"Если это не труп..."

00:03:28,189 --> 00:03:30,960

— Черт возьми, этот мелкий мудак укусил меня

— Меня тоже

00:03:41,070 --> 00:03:43,560

— Ты выглядишь как педик

— Заткнись, Кайл

00:03:43,740 --> 00:03:46,540

— Кем ты хотел быть?

— Я Потертый Энди

00:03:46,750 --> 00:03:50,550

— Какого черты ты вообще оделся как Потертый Энди?

— Венди будет Потертая Энн

00:03:50,750 --> 00:03:56,950

— Она сказала, что таким образом мы выиграем конкурс по костюмам

— Не выиграете, чувак. Я выиграю его со своим офигенным костюмом Чубаки

00:03:57,120 --> 00:04:00,580

— Венди сказала, за первое место 2 тонны конфет дают

— Уау, круто

00:04:00,790 --> 00:04:03,691

— Здорова, чуваки

— Картман, что это за костюм?

00:04:03,901 --> 00:04:07,701

Это Адольф Гитлер. Зиг Хайль. Зиг Хайль

00:04:07,871 --> 00:04:10,461

— Где ты его достал?

— Моя мама сделала. Разве это не круто?

00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:14,161

— Нет, это не круто!

— Кайл, а кем ты должен был быть? Хауди Дуди?

00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:20,511

— Нет, я Потертый Энди, жиртрес

— О, уау, ты классно выглядишь

00:04:20,681 --> 00:04:22,581

— Девчонка

— Я надеру тебе зад, Картман

00:04:22,781 --> 00:04:28,351

— Эй берегитесь, Холли Хобби рассержена

— Эй, смотрите, Кенни то не умер

00:04:28,521 --> 00:04:32,462

— Ты забыл одеть костюм, Кенни

— В чем дело? Разве твоя семья не может позволить купить костюм для тебя?

00:04:32,632 --> 00:04:36,582

— Почему твоя семья настолько бедна, Кенни?

— Семья Кенни настолько бедна...

00:04:36,762 --> 00:04:40,532

...что вчера им пришлось повторно

заложить свои картонные коробки

00:04:44,942 --> 00:04:50,642

Я сказал, что твой семье пришлось повторно

заложить свои картонные коробки, Кенни

00:04:50,812 --> 00:04:53,402

Я с тобой говорю, Кенни!

Ахтунг!

00:04:53,582 --> 00:04:54,982

Жалкий кусок говна

00:04:56,622 --> 00:05:00,552

— Давайте, мы опаздываем!

— Мы все время опаздываем, уродливая шалава

00:05:00,722 --> 00:05:04,313

— Что ты сказал?

— Я сказал, я однажды в океане плавал

00:05:04,963 --> 00:05:06,423

А я никогда

00:05:08,763 --> 00:05:11,663

— Очень интересно

— Что такое, док?

00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:16,433

У вас температура всего 12 градусов,

пульса нет, сердце не бьется

00:05:16,643 --> 00:05:20,943

— И глаза у вас отекшие и липкие

— О нет, вы имеете в виду...

00:05:21,113 --> 00:05:24,513

Да, я боюсь, у вас ребята, коньюктивит

00:05:24,683 --> 00:05:27,343

Я дам вам нужные лекарства,

но я не хочу к вам прикасаться

00:05:27,513 --> 00:05:31,783

Я так голоден, что я не могу думать о другом, кроме как о поедании мозгов

00:05:31,953 --> 00:05:35,944

Ради бога, не трогайте свои глаза.

Я выпишу антибиотики

00:05:37,824 --> 00:05:42,784

Уже скоро все увидят мой офигенный костюм Чубакки.

Они мне так позавидуют.

00:05:44,334 --> 00:05:46,264

— Уау, чувак!

— Все оделись как Чуббака?

00:05:46,434 --> 00:05:50,064

Да похоже, что этот костюм

очень популярный в этом году

00:05:52,204 --> 00:05:53,764

— Черт возьми!

— Венди

00:05:53,974 --> 00:05:57,704

— Привет Стэн

— Ты же сказала, что мы будем Потрепаные Энн и Энди

00:05:57,884 --> 00:06:00,814

— Даа

— Мы хотели пойти на конкурс костюмов как пара

00:06:00,984 --> 00:06:05,615

Я знаю, но потом, похоже, я поняла

как глупо мы будем смотреться

00:06:05,785 --> 00:06:08,985

— Ты что?

— Я подумала, ты придешь к тем же заключениям...

00:06:09,195 --> 00:06:12,065

...поэтому я оделась как Чуббака

00:06:13,095 --> 00:06:18,435

— Стэн, ты так привлекателен, что я бы тебя поцеловал

— Аха, хочешь быть моей девушкой?

00:06:18,605 --> 00:06:22,595

Теперь видишь? Костюмчик мой

оказался вполне зашибись.

00:06:22,775 --> 00:06:26,235

— Одеваться как Гитлер — это не зашибись.

— Да ты ревнуешь.

00:06:26,415 --> 00:06:29,815

— Вали на свой Эндор, вуки!

— Вуки не живут на Эндоре!

00:06:31,515 --> 00:06:34,276

Моя мама не появлялась на обложке

журнала 'Обдолбанная шлюха'.

00:06:34,456 --> 00:06:38,386

— Что ты сказал?

— Окей, Чубаки, рассаживайтесь..

00:06:38,986 --> 00:06:40,986

Раз уж сегодня Хэллоуин...

00:06:41,196 --> 00:06:44,996

нам следует узнать о писателе

ужастиков Джеки Коллинзе.

00:06:45,166 --> 00:06:48,566

Так вот, Джеки Коллинз

написал свой первый роман...

00:06:49,636 --> 00:06:51,866

Кенни, какая-то проблема?

00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:54,836

Давайте держать свои руки при себе,

договорились?

00:06:56,246 --> 00:06:58,806

Я никогда не выиграю эту конфету.

00:07:08,057 --> 00:07:13,287

— Привет. Счастливого Хэллоуина.

— Должен есть мозги.

00:07:14,057 --> 00:07:15,927

Мозги.

00:07:17,997 --> 00:07:21,397

О. Боже! Нет! Остановись!

00:07:21,967 --> 00:07:25,297

Я сделаю новый костюм.

Я всё еще могу победить.

00:07:25,467 --> 00:07:28,027

Кенни, ты собираешься есть свой пуддинг?

00:07:28,207 --> 00:07:32,237

Нет, Эрик, можешь взять

мой пуддинг, если хочешь.

00:07:32,407 --> 00:07:35,038

А что, спасибо, Кенни.

Как мило с твоей стороны.

00:07:35,218 --> 00:07:37,188

Кенни, ты не голоден?

00:07:37,348 --> 00:07:40,518

— Он не двигается и ничего не отвечает.

— Привет, детишки.

00:07:40,688 --> 00:07:42,248

Приветики, Шеф.

00:07:43,758 --> 00:07:47,718

— Что ты делаешь в этом костюме?

— Ем пуддинг Кенни.

00:07:47,898 --> 00:07:50,888

Приветствую. Клевый костюм Элвиса, Шеф.

00:07:51,098 --> 00:07:55,328

Элвиса? Эвила Книвела, вообще-то.

С какого хрена мне одеваться, как Элвис?

00:07:55,498 --> 00:07:59,838

С какого хрена тебе одеваться,

как Эвил Книвел? Надеюсь, ты...

00:08:01,108 --> 00:08:03,808

Эрик, ты что делаешь?

00:08:03,978 --> 00:08:07,309

Он сказал, что я могу забрать его пуддинг.

Спросите сами.

00:08:07,479 --> 00:08:13,009

Верно, директор Виктория.

Ничего не имею против, т.к. Эрик клевый.

00:08:13,189 --> 00:08:19,059

— Где ты взял этот костюм?

— Моя мама его cшила. Зиг Хайль. Зиг Хайль.

00:08:19,259 --> 00:08:23,819

Господи, благослови Америку.

Марш в мой офис, пока тебя никто не видит.

00:08:23,999 --> 00:08:26,729

Я должна показать тебе

образовательное видео.

00:08:26,899 --> 00:08:29,699

Не хочу я смотреть никакое

образовательное видео.

00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,270

— Ты укусил меня за руку!

— Кенни пришел в себя.

00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:39,640

— Смотри видео, Эрик.

— Адольф Гитлер был мерзким типом.

00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:05,871

Так что помните, дети, одеваться,

как Гитлер - это не клево.

00:09:06,041 --> 00:09:10,381

— У вас есть вопросы?

— Я бы еще разок посмотрел, мне понравилось.

00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:15,811

— Ты должен снять этот костюм.

— Не могу. Я должен выиграть конфету.

00:09:15,981 --> 00:09:19,891

Ну, а как насчет того, что мы сделаем

новый костюм? Давай посмотрим...

00:09:20,791 --> 00:09:24,281

Как насчет сделать прикольный

страшный костюм привидения?

00:09:24,461 --> 00:09:28,451

— Не хочу я быть тупым привидением.

— Сейчас я сделаю буквально...

00:09:28,631 --> 00:09:34,191

...несколько мелких изменений.

Готово, молодой человек.

00:09:38,072 --> 00:09:42,602

Похоже, что они заразились этим

коньюктивитом, о котором все говорят

00:09:47,222 --> 00:09:51,282

— Бу! Я привиденье

— Вот блин, я чувствую себя полным говном

00:09:51,492 --> 00:09:54,722

Ой, ну хорошь Стен, может быть это так,

потому что ты и есть полное говно

00:09:54,922 --> 00:09:58,762

— Здравствуйте, дети.

— Привет, шеф.

00:09:59,402 --> 00:10:02,922

— Шеф сильно боится приведений, да?

— Где Кайл?

00:10:03,232 --> 00:10:05,762

— Зацени.

— Вау, чувак.

00:10:05,932 --> 00:10:08,203

— Что это?

— Я солнечная система.

00:10:08,373 --> 00:10:12,003

Даже планеты вращаются в правильном направлении.

Эта кучка конфет уже точно моя

00:10:12,443 --> 00:10:14,973

Хорошо, дети, давайте построимся, чтобы судьи...

00:10:15,143 --> 00:10:17,943

Могли посмотреть на ваши дурацкие костюмы

00:10:18,113 --> 00:10:24,383

Дети, в этом году у нас среди судей есть знаменитость:

звезда сериала Семейные узы, мисс Тина Йотерс

00:10:24,553 --> 00:10:27,043

— Кто?

— Чувак, я думал, она мертва.

— Да, я тоже

00:10:27,223 --> 00:10:29,823

Спасибо, мисс Йотерс

Итак...

00:10:29,993 --> 00:10:33,893

Второе место за лучший костюм уходит...

00:10:34,303 --> 00:10:38,164

Кенни, за его костюм Эдварда Джеймса Олмоса

00:10:39,644 --> 00:10:43,074

И победителем за лучший костюм становится...

00:10:44,174 --> 00:10:47,144

Венди, за ее костюм Чубакки

00:10:48,144 --> 00:10:53,384

Что? Но она же выглядит также и все остальные.

Свали отсюда, Тина Йотерс!

00:10:53,554 --> 00:10:56,484

И награда за худший костюм достается...

00:10:56,694 --> 00:10:59,954

Стену, за его дурацкий,

маленький клоунский костюм

00:11:00,164 --> 00:11:03,354

Давайте все направим пальцы

на Стена и посмеемся, дети

00:11:03,834 --> 00:11:06,294

Спасибо большое, Венди,

ты испортила мне Хеллоуин

00:11:06,464 --> 00:11:10,135

Расслабься, ты будешь чувствовать себя лучше

когда мы выйдем на "Сладость или гадость"

00:11:10,305 --> 00:11:12,705

Я не хочу выпрашивать сладости с тобой.

Ты соврала мне!

00:11:12,875 --> 00:11:16,175

Хорошо, дети. Давайте встанем в круг

и будем вылавливать эти дурацкие яблоки

00:11:16,515 --> 00:11:18,705

Ты первая, Бебе

00:11:18,875 --> 00:11:22,075

Используй свои мышцы рта,

как те девочки из Пекина

00:11:22,245 --> 00:11:23,685

Мозги!

00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:26,945

Дождись своей очереди, Клайд

00:11:31,895 --> 00:11:34,695

Черт, Джонсон. Какого хрена это с тобой?

00:11:35,065 --> 00:11:37,425

Коньюктивит

00:11:37,595 --> 00:11:42,626

Отвали нахрен, Джонсон.

Я не хочу заразиться долбаным коньюктивитом

00:11:43,106 --> 00:11:46,036

И президент ответил, сказав, цитирую:

00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:49,976

"Нахер этих коммунистических ублюдков

и нахер их паршивую космическую станцию"

00:11:50,146 --> 00:11:54,446

К другим новостям. Эпидемия коньюктивита

распространяется в Южном Парке

00:11:54,616 --> 00:11:56,916

С прямым включением, карлик в бикини

00:11:57,086 --> 00:12:00,076

Спасибо, Том.

Больше половины жителей города...

00:12:00,256 --> 00:12:02,656

были заражены этим вирусом

00:12:05,656 --> 00:12:09,097

Симптомы включают полную

потерю функций сердца...

00:12:09,267 --> 00:12:12,567

легкие также перестают работать,

и конечно же, липкие, опухшие глаза

00:12:12,737 --> 00:12:16,137

Коньюктивит мне в задницу.

Я уже видел такое раньше

00:12:18,337 --> 00:12:21,207

Где, черт возьми, Кайл?

Мы не можем его ждать целую ночь

00:12:21,377 --> 00:12:25,707

— Спорим, я соберу больше конфет, чем ты, чувак

— Ты че с ума сошел? Я мастер по этой части

00:12:25,877 --> 00:12:28,717

Ты мастер по части задниц, есть разница

00:12:28,887 --> 00:12:32,287

Не я тут похож на Пеппи Длинный Чулок,

разгуливающий целый день по улице

00:12:32,457 --> 00:12:35,787

Серьезно?! Ну хоть не моя мама

на обложке журнала "Обдолбанная шлюха"

00:12:35,957 --> 00:12:39,398

Черт тебя дери, нет моей мамы

на обложке журнала "Обдолбанная Шлюха"

00:12:39,568 --> 00:12:42,528

— Привет, ребят

— О, ты пришел. Надо убедиться, что мы с собой все взяли

00:12:42,698 --> 00:12:44,028

— Фонарик?

— Тут

00:12:44,198 --> 00:12:45,528

— Тыквенные ведра?

— Тут

00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:47,038

— Электрошокер

— Что это?

00:12:47,208 --> 00:12:49,608

Чтобы наказать людей,

которые дадут нам гранолу или типа того

00:12:49,778 --> 00:12:51,638

Даа, гранола меня бесит

00:12:52,078 --> 00:12:53,268

Привет, Кенни

00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:58,278

— Ты воняешь!

— Ты все еще не надел костюм, Кенни?

00:12:59,618 --> 00:13:02,378

Очень жаль, что за питье виски не платят...

00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:05,278

иначе отец Кенни был бы миллионером

00:13:05,458 --> 00:13:08,948

Я сказал, что твой отец был бы

миллионером. Понял? Кенни!

00:13:09,128 --> 00:13:13,149

Твоя семья нищеброды, Кенни.

Твоя семья нищеброды!

00:13:13,329 --> 00:13:16,789

Мне больше не нравится Кенни.

Он просто не общается

00:13:18,069 --> 00:13:19,769

— Привет, ребята

— Привет, Венди

00:13:19,939 --> 00:13:24,239

— Как там твоя бочка полная конфет?

— Я не хочу так много сладкого

00:13:24,409 --> 00:13:27,339

Я отдала конфеты голодным детям из Найроби

00:13:27,509 --> 00:13:31,509

— Что ты сделала? Ты что, с ума сошла?

— Пойдемте выпрашивать сладости

00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:34,579

Не думаю, что это хорошая идея, Венди

На сегодня тебе достаточно конфет досталось

00:13:34,749 --> 00:13:40,060

Стен, мне ужасно жаль что тебе пришлось

одеться как Потертый Энди. Пожалуйста, не злись

00:13:40,230 --> 00:13:42,960

Как он может злиться, с такими красивыми

волосами и розовыми щечками?

00:13:43,130 --> 00:13:45,890

— Иди выправшивать сладости одна, Венди

— Но, Стен...

00:13:46,060 --> 00:13:49,500

Никаких но, Венди. Я бы хотел,

чтобы ты была мертва

00:13:54,070 --> 00:13:56,100

— Доктор

— Ой. привет, Шеф

00:13:56,270 --> 00:14:01,410

— Дай угадаю, коньюктивит, верно?

— Нет, доктор. Я уже видел такое раньше

00:14:01,580 --> 00:14:05,810

— Это никакой не коньюктивит. Это живые мертвецы

— Какого хрена ты несешь?

00:14:05,980 --> 00:14:08,650

Сами подуймайте.

Мертвые встают и разгуливают вокруг...

00:14:08,820 --> 00:14:12,451

...и Тина Йотерс в городе..

Случайность? Не думаю!

00:14:12,621 --> 00:14:15,751

Шеф, мне кажется,

вы немного бредите из-за коньюктивита

00:14:15,931 --> 00:14:19,661

— Давайте-ка я дам вам кое-какие кремы

— Черт возьми! Разве не видите?

00:14:19,831 --> 00:14:25,631

Эти люди зомбированы. У них

не бьется сердце, нет чувств. Я покажу

00:14:26,411 --> 00:14:30,571

Мистер Торрес был здесь

для обычной проверки, Шеф

00:14:30,741 --> 00:14:36,081

Простите, но суть такая,

что никакие кремы тут не помогут

00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:41,852

Было очень много хороших результатов

использования этих кремов за последние несколько лет

00:14:42,022 --> 00:14:44,852

Доктор, кто был самым первым,

кто пришел сюда с этим заболеванием

00:14:45,022 --> 00:14:49,822

Ну, это был работник похоронного бюро

и его помощник из морга

00:14:53,832 --> 00:14:59,292

Потише, давайте встанем в очередь.

Кремов хватит для всех

00:15:00,372 --> 00:15:02,502

Сладость или гадость

00:15:03,182 --> 00:15:05,672

Ой, как мило

00:15:08,552 --> 00:15:12,183

— Блин, Кенни

— О Боже, звоните 911

00:15:12,383 --> 00:15:16,413

— Звоните 911

— Ну молодец, Кенни, она уже хотела дать нам конфет

00:15:16,593 --> 00:15:20,253

— У нее были "сникерсы"

— Теперь ты мне должен "сникерс", мудак

00:15:22,233 --> 00:15:27,603

— Мэр, у нас тут большие проблемы

— Чего? А Шеф, какой сюрприз

00:15:28,073 --> 00:15:32,973

Ты наверное удивлен увидев нас тут,

с кучей денег и без штанов

00:15:33,143 --> 00:15:35,613

— Вообще то..

— Ну, я могу тебя уверить...

00:15:35,773 --> 00:15:39,213

это не имеет ничего общего с японской мафией

00:15:39,383 --> 00:15:42,314

— Вообще ничегошеньки

— Да мне насрать

00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:47,984

— Нам нужно сделать что-то с ходячими мертвецами

— Ты имеешь в виду Тину Йотерс?

00:15:49,764 --> 00:15:53,524

Нет! Черт побери! Я говорю про зомби,

которые захватили весь Южный Парк

00:15:53,694 --> 00:15:59,154

Ну, Ивел Книвел, почему бы тебе не прыгать

через них на своем реактивном мотоцикле?

00:16:00,634 --> 00:16:03,234

Ай да пошли вы оба

00:16:03,644 --> 00:16:06,104

— Ну, давай вернемся к этому

— Да, точно

00:16:07,774 --> 00:16:08,764

Сладость или гадость!

00:16:08,944 --> 00:16:13,005

Надеюсь, вам ребята нравится профитроли

начиненные арахисовым маслом и шоколадом..

00:16:13,185 --> 00:16:16,445

Убери это от меня!

00:16:21,755 --> 00:16:25,095

Черт побери! Мы никогда не получим конфет,

если Кенни будет есть людей и дальше

00:16:25,265 --> 00:16:29,795

Аха, хватит, Кенни.

Ты больше не выпрашиваешь сладостей с нами

00:16:30,305 --> 00:16:31,565

О боже мой!

00:16:33,535 --> 00:16:34,735

Сладость или гадость!

00:16:36,135 --> 00:16:39,375

Эй, они оделись как приведения, как и я

00:16:40,175 --> 00:16:42,806

Одна дешевая конфетка? Мелочные уроды!

00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:47,446

О боже мой! Остановитесь!

00:16:49,686 --> 00:16:51,156

Сладость или..

00:16:51,326 --> 00:16:54,816

Убирайтесь из моей земли,

вы мозгожрущие зомби-ублюдки

00:16:54,996 --> 00:16:56,426

— Шеф, это мы

— Шеф, нет

00:16:56,596 --> 00:16:59,356

Оу, извините ребятки.

Я подумал, что вы одни из них

00:16:59,526 --> 00:17:04,156

— Можем мы теперь то получить конфет?

— Черт побери, какого вообще хрена ты так вырядился?

00:17:04,366 --> 00:17:08,236

— Я пытаюсь выпросить сладостей, черт побери

— Напомни мне, чтобы я потом надрал тебе зад

00:17:08,406 --> 00:17:11,736

А пока, заходите быстрее,

пока зомби вас не схватили

00:17:12,206 --> 00:17:14,677

— О чем ты вообще говоришь, Шеф?

— Зомби, детки

00:17:14,847 --> 00:17:20,077

Южный Парк просто переполнен живыми мертвецами.

Разве вы не заметили ничего странного?

00:17:20,657 --> 00:17:23,247

Ну так, ничего такого. Кроме конечно того,

что Кенни продолжает есть мозги людей

00:17:23,427 --> 00:17:27,947

Разве не видите? Кенни превратился в зомби,

как и многие другие в этом городе

00:17:28,127 --> 00:17:31,057

— Это значит...

— Если каждый превратился в зомби..

00:17:31,297 --> 00:17:34,597

Значит, не осталось людей,

кто бы дал нам конфет

00:17:36,567 --> 00:17:39,197

— Шеф, ты должен помочь нам

— Я работаю над этим

00:17:40,407 --> 00:17:43,337

— Куда мы пойдем?

— Доктор сказал, что первые кого он лечил были...

00:17:43,507 --> 00:17:45,838

работник похоронного бюро и его помощник

00:17:46,078 --> 00:17:49,278

У меня предчувствие, что мы должны

искать начало всего этого в морге

00:17:52,248 --> 00:17:53,238

Это был Кайл

00:17:54,359 --> 00:17:56,277

*Морг Южного Парка*

00:17:56,778 --> 00:17:59,468

— Я не уверен на счет всего этого, Шеф

— Аха, мне страшно

— Мне тоже

00:17:59,648 --> 00:18:03,708

Помни про конфеты, сфокусируся на конфетах

00:18:03,878 --> 00:18:08,288

— Что мы тут делаем, Шеф?

— Просто ищем что нибудь подозрительное

00:18:08,458 --> 00:18:09,818

Я нашел

00:18:10,018 --> 00:18:12,488

— Что?

— Видишь Картман, твоя мама действительно на обложке

00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:17,629

Мы говорили тебе, чувак

00:18:17,829 --> 00:18:20,129

Тебе лучше отдать мне это, Кайл

00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:22,389

Эй, Шеф, смотри

00:18:25,390 --> 00:18:25,438

*соус Вустершир*

00:18:25,439 --> 00:18:28,438

Осторожно! Не использовать в качестве бальзамирующей жидкости.

Номер горячей линии *номер*

00:18:28,439 --> 00:18:32,969

— Мне нужно позвонить по этому номеру горячей линии

— Коньюктивит

00:18:33,149 --> 00:18:36,839

Это паренек-британец.

Он теперь маленький английский зомби

00:18:37,019 --> 00:18:39,579

Берегитесь, дети!

00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:51,460

Окей, Шеф. звони по номеру горячей линии.

Шеф?

00:18:52,370 --> 00:18:54,100

Шеф!

00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:15,490

Валим отсюда

00:19:18,361 --> 00:19:22,161

— Мы должны позвонить по номеру горячей линии

— Эй, вон там таксофон

00:19:22,331 --> 00:19:25,531

— Звони по номеру, Кайл

— Но зомби подходят

00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:27,431

Мы их задержем

00:19:28,541 --> 00:19:31,101

Добро пожаловать в горячую линию Вустершира

00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:36,941

Для рецептов нажмите "1"

Для продакт-плейсмент — "2"

00:19:37,241 --> 00:19:40,181

Если соус Вустершир был использован

для бальзамирования, нажмите...

00:19:40,681 --> 00:19:44,671

Никто не испортит мой праздник выпрашивания

сладостей и останется безноказанным

00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:47,552

— Уау, круто

— Класс

00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:57,162

Этот звонок может записываться для

улучшения сервиса. Чем я могу вам поомочь?

00:19:57,332 --> 00:20:00,102

— Тут зомби ходят

— Пожалуйста, подождите

00:20:08,812 --> 00:20:10,332

Венди

00:20:11,352 --> 00:20:14,782

— Кончай ее, чувак, она уже зомби

— Я знаю, но...

00:20:14,952 --> 00:20:18,323

Помнишь как она с тобой обошлась

на конкурсе костюмов?

00:20:18,493 --> 00:20:20,283

Эй, точно

00:20:21,493 --> 00:20:24,483

Обычная практика в этом случае,

чтобы вы в ни в коем случае...

00:20:24,663 --> 00:20:30,563

...не начали обезглавливать зомби направо и налево.

Вы меня поняли? НЕ делайте этого

00:20:30,733 --> 00:20:32,323

Окей, а что потом?

00:20:33,033 --> 00:20:35,503

Венди, я понимаю мы посорились

и я хотел чтобы ты сдохла

00:20:35,673 --> 00:20:38,073

— Но я все же не хотел этого

— Убей ее, Стен

00:20:38,243 --> 00:20:41,303

Все что вам надо, это убить первоначального зомби.

Того, который начал все это.

00:20:41,483 --> 00:20:44,573

А все остальные зомби преврататься

в нормальных людей

00:20:44,753 --> 00:20:48,084

Откуда же мы узнаем кто этот

первоначальный зомби?

00:20:48,254 --> 00:20:51,384

У вас есть выбор в Вустерширском сыре.

Мы рады...

00:20:51,924 --> 00:20:56,384

Минуточку, эта штука упала на Кенни,

и они увезли его в морг

00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:59,394

Я не могу

00:21:07,174 --> 00:21:10,864

О Боже мой, я убил Кенни. Ты сволочь!

00:21:12,074 --> 00:21:14,974

Что случилось? Стэн?

00:21:15,144 --> 00:21:19,645

— Милая, все будет в порядке

— Они превращаются в нормальных

00:21:19,815 --> 00:21:23,755

— Вы это сделали, детки

— Окей, пойдем теперь выпрашивать сладости

00:21:23,925 --> 00:21:27,155

Мне очень жаль, что я так поступила

с тобой в школе, Стэн

00:21:27,325 --> 00:21:30,385

Похоже, что я не была очень

внимательной к твоим чувствам

00:21:30,565 --> 00:21:33,155

Мне жаль, что я пожелал тебе смерти

00:21:33,335 --> 00:21:38,135

Может мы могли бы поцеловаться сегодня, Стен

00:21:41,035 --> 00:21:42,935

Отвратительно, Стен. Больной

00:21:43,605 --> 00:21:45,075

Блевотина отвратительна

00:21:50,526 --> 00:21:55,226

— Чувак, не могу поверить что его больше нет

— Он был слишком молод, чтобы его забрали от нас вот так

00:21:55,396 --> 00:21:57,696

Это ты его порезал на пополам бензопилой

00:21:57,866 --> 00:22:03,666

Давайте будем помнить старые добрые времена.

Кенни бы хотел этого...

00:22:06,606 --> 00:22:11,096

Я кое-что сегодня понял.

Хэллоуин это не конфеты и костюмы

00:22:11,276 --> 00:22:14,336

Это о том, как быть хорошим,

делиться и любить

00:22:14,516 --> 00:22:16,916

Не, чувак, это ты про Рождество

00:22:17,086 --> 00:22:21,077

— Тогда о чем же Хэллоуин?

— Костюмы и конфеты

00:22:22,527 --> 00:22:24,547

Ну, пойдемте домой, есть эти конфеты

00:22:24,727 --> 00:22:27,747

Мы можем поесть у Картмана и за одно

посмотрим пикантные фотки его мамы

00:22:27,927 --> 00:22:31,127

Завязывайте ребята. Она была молода

и ей нужны были деньги

00:22:31,297 --> 00:22:34,897

Картман, этим фоткам не больше месяца

00:22:35,337 --> 00:22:37,637

Пошли вы ребята!

00:22:39,147 --> 00:22:41,637

Переведено на Нотабеноиде

http://notabenoid.com/book/10656/241845

00:22:41,647 --> 00:22:42,637

Переводчики: Lendis, spaceship, tskim

00:00:06,298 --> 00:00:07,675

Howdy-ho!

00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:09,218

I'm rootin'-tootin'

Trey Parker.

00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:10,928

And I'm pistol-slingin'

Matt Stone.

00:00:11,053 --> 00:00:12,221

This here's Old Scratch.

Say hi, old fella.

00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:13,806

Howdy, Scratch!

00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:15,599

Trey and I are right excited

about now

00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:17,101

because this first episode

of "South Park" is, well,

00:00:17,226 --> 00:00:18,811

our favorite episode.

00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:20,521

That's right, Matt.

It's called "Pinkeye."

00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,398

It originally aired as our

Halloween special.

00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,692

It's all about an epidemic

going through "South Park"

00:00:24,817 --> 00:00:27,069

and the boys having

to save the day.

00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:29,155

Trey and I wanted to do

an episode about disease,

00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:31,365

and well, we figured

pinkeye was the right one.

00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:32,950

That's right.

00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:34,452

You know, pinkeye is

a real disease.

00:00:34,577 --> 00:00:36,037

Anybody can get it.

00:00:36,162 --> 00:00:38,748

So kids, be careful

who you been with.

00:00:38,873 --> 00:00:40,708

To fight this

horrible disease,

00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:43,294

all proceeds from this video

will go to pinkeye research.

00:00:43,419 --> 00:00:44,795

Yeah, right.

00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,130

Right.

00:00:46,255 --> 00:00:47,673

We're not gonna

give away money.

00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:49,467

Oh, look, it's our

Indian friend,

00:00:49,592 --> 00:00:50,634

Indian Companion.

00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:51,677

Hello, Indian Companion.

00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:53,679

Someone coming.

00:00:58,142 --> 00:00:59,351

Thanks.

00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:03,898

Anyway, all y'all sit back,

00:01:04,023 --> 00:01:06,025

relax, and enjoy...

00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:07,193

"Pinkeye."

00:01:07,318 --> 00:01:08,694

Hooray!

00:01:20,498 --> 00:01:21,874

♪ I'm going down

to South Park ♪

00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:23,876

♪ Gonna have

myself a time ♪

00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:25,586

♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:27,129

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:28,589

♪ Going down

to South Park ♪

00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:30,424

♪ Gonna leave my

woes behind ♪

00:01:30,549 --> 00:01:32,134

♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:33,636

♪ People spouting:

"Howdy neighbor." ♪

00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:35,137

♪ Headed on up

to South Park ♪

00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:36,889

♪ Gonna see if

I can't unwind ♪

00:01:40,184 --> 00:01:41,560

♪ So come on down

to South Park ♪

00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:43,354

♪ And meet some

friends of mine ♪

00:01:54,365 --> 00:01:56,242

Graah!

- Aieee!

00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:15,886

Oh, my God,

they killed Kenny!

00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:17,304

You bastards!

00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:18,556

What the hell

is that thing?

00:02:18,681 --> 00:02:19,932

It looks

like a UFO.

00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:21,350

There's no such

thing as UFOs.

00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:26,063

Let's get him to the morgue.

00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:33,404

Hey, wait till

you guys see my Halloween

00:02:33,529 --> 00:02:35,531

costume tomorrow.

It kicks ass.

00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:36,991

Dude, it can't be

cooler than mine.

00:02:37,116 --> 00:02:38,409

Hey, man, we ought

to get home

00:02:38,534 --> 00:02:39,577

and get our

Costumes ready.

00:02:49,211 --> 00:02:51,463

You know, I think death

is least funny

00:02:51,589 --> 00:02:52,923

when it happens to a child.

00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:56,218

Oh, man,

I know what you mean.

00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,596

Marty, do you have to put

that stuff on everything?

00:02:58,721 --> 00:03:01,098

I don't know, it just

makes everything taste so...

00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:02,474

English.

00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:03,726

Well, let's let him drain.

00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,620

So then

the necrophiliac says,

00:03:22,745 --> 00:03:24,538

"If this ain't a cadaver,

then I..."

00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:27,750

Hey!

- Argh!

00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,668

God damn, that little turd

bit me!

00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:30,711

Me too!

00:03:40,638 --> 00:03:41,931

You look like a pansy.

00:03:42,056 --> 00:03:43,474

Shut up, Kyle!

00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:44,725

What--what are you

supposed to be?!

00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,268

I'm Raggedy Andy.

00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:47,561

Why the hell

did you dress up

00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:49,021

like Raggedy Andy, dude?

00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:51,065

Wendy's going

as Raggedy Anne.

00:03:51,190 --> 00:03:52,483

And she said this way we'd win

the costume contest for sure.

00:03:52,608 --> 00:03:53,984

No way, dude.

00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:55,486

I'm gonna win

the costume contest

00:03:55,611 --> 00:03:57,363

with this sweet

Chewbacca costume!

00:03:57,488 --> 00:03:59,490

Wendy said that first prize

is two tons of candy.

00:03:59,615 --> 00:04:00,491

Wow, cool!

00:04:00,616 --> 00:04:02,159

Hey, dudes.

00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:03,452

Cartman, what kind

of costume is that?

00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:05,537

It's Adolph Hitler costume.

00:04:05,663 --> 00:04:07,331

Sieg Heil! Sieg Heil!

00:04:07,456 --> 00:04:08,707

Where'd you get that?

00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:10,417

My mom made it.

Isn't it cool?

00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:12,169

No, it's not cool!

00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:14,046

What are you supposed

to be, Stan? Howdy Doody?

00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:16,298

No, I'm Raggedy Andy,

fat ass!

00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:17,675

Oh. Wow.

00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:18,926

You look pretty cool.

00:04:20,511 --> 00:04:21,595

Sissy.

00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,347

I'll kick your ass, Kyle!

00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:25,266

Oh, look out!

Holly Hobby's all pissed off.

00:04:25,391 --> 00:04:27,059

Hey, look.

Kenny's not dead.

00:04:28,227 --> 00:04:29,270

You forgot to wear a costume,

Kenny.

00:04:29,395 --> 00:04:31,021

Yeah, what's the matter?

00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:32,690

Couldn't your family afford

a costume for you?

00:04:32,815 --> 00:04:34,275

Yeah, why is your family

so poor, Kenny?

00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,151

Kenny's family is so poor

00:04:36,277 --> 00:04:39,154

that yesterday they had to put

their cardboard box up

00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:40,406

for a second mortgage.

00:04:44,702 --> 00:04:47,621

I said, your family had

to put a cardboard box up

00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,415

for a second mortgage, Kenny!

00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:53,294

I'm talking to you, Kenny!

Achtung!

00:04:53,419 --> 00:04:54,962

Poor piece of crap.

00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:58,340

Come on, we're running late!

00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,426

Ah, we're always running

late, you ugly skank.

00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:02,219

What did you say?!

00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:04,221

I said I can't wait

to own a fishing tank.

00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:06,432

Oh. Neither can I.

00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:11,520

Very interesting.

- Wh-what is it, doc?

00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:14,523

Well, your temperature

is only 55 degrees,

00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,358

you have no pulse,

no heartbeat,

00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:19,278

and your--your eyes are

all puffy and sticky.

00:05:19,403 --> 00:05:21,071

Oh, no. You mean...

00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:22,948

Yeah, I'm afraid

the two of you have pinkeye.

00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:25,951

I'd give you topical

medicine,

00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:27,995

but I don't want

to touch you.

00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,830

Oh, I'm so hungry and all I

can think about eating is...

00:05:29,955 --> 00:05:31,665

is brains!

00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:33,625

Yeah, well, for God's sake

don't touch your eyes.

00:05:33,751 --> 00:05:35,461

I'll prescribe some

antibiotics.

00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:39,673

Just wait till everyone sees

my sweet Chewbacca costume.

00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:41,300

They're gonna be so jealous.

00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:46,013

Whoa, dude.

- Everyone came as Chewbacca?!

00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:48,098

It sure does seem to be

a popular costume

00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:49,975

this year, Kyle.

00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:51,268

Rar.

00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:53,020

Damn it!

00:05:53,145 --> 00:05:54,897

Wendy?

- Hi, Stan.

00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,774

You said we were going to be

Raggedy Anne and Andy.

00:05:56,899 --> 00:05:58,692

Remember?

- Yeah.

00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:00,694

We were going to enter

the costume contest as a pair.

00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:02,363

I know, but then

00:06:02,488 --> 00:06:03,864

I guess I just realized

00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:06,241

how stupid we would look.

- You what?!

00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:08,327

I thought you would

reach the same conclusion,

00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:10,662

so I came as Chewbacca.

00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:13,791

Hey Stan,

00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:15,501

you look almost

pretty enough to kiss.

00:06:15,626 --> 00:06:17,211

Yeah, you want to be my

girlfriend?

00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:20,589

Hey, you see?

All of a sudden my costume

00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,424

is pretty badass, huh?

00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:25,010

Dude, dressing up like Hitler

is not badass.

00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:26,845

You're just jealous.

00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:28,472

Why don't you go back to Endor,

you stupid Wookie!

00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:29,681

Wookies don't live on Endor!

00:06:29,807 --> 00:06:31,308

Mimi ma mi mo momo!

00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:32,476

Well at least my mom's not

on the cover

00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:33,685

of Crack Whore Magazine!

00:06:33,811 --> 00:06:35,604

What? What did you say?!

00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:38,816

Okay now, all you little

Chewbaccas take your seats.

00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:40,901

Children, since today

is Halloween,

00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:42,528

I thought we should learn

something about

00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:44,863

the great horror writer

Jackie Collins.

00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:46,490

You see, when Jackie Collins

00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:48,325

first wrote her novel...

00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:49,535

Ew!

00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:51,120

Is there a problem, Kenny?

00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:54,832

Let's try to keep our hands

and arms to ourselves, okay?

00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:57,209

I'm never gonna win that

two tons of candy

00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:59,461

looking like everybody else.

00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:03,715

♪ Ooh, I'm gonna decorate

the house for Halloween ♪

00:07:03,841 --> 00:07:07,761

♪ With scary ghosts and bats

and creepy crawly things ♪

00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:10,556

Hello, there.

Happy Halloween.

00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:13,183

Must... eat... brains.

00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:15,227

Brains!

00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:18,439

♪ It's the most wonderful

time of the year ♪

00:07:21,859 --> 00:07:23,694

I'm gonna make a new costume

during recess.

00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:24,945

I can still win that candy.

00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:26,363

Hey, Kenny.

00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:28,157

Are you gonna eat

your pudding?

00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:32,077

"No, Eric, go ahead and take

my pudding if you like."

00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:33,579

Why, thank you, Kenny.

00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:34,913

How nice of you.

00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:36,165

Aren't you hungry, Kenny?

00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:39,001

He hasn't moved an inch

or said anything.

00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:40,335

Hello, children.

00:07:40,461 --> 00:07:41,670

Hey, Chef.

00:07:43,589 --> 00:07:45,924

What in the hell are you

doing dressed up like that?

00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:47,593

Eating Kenny's pudding.

00:07:47,718 --> 00:07:49,052

Hello there, children.

00:07:49,178 --> 00:07:50,804

Oh, love the Elvis

costume, Chef.

00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:53,140

Elvis? I'm Evel Knievel!

00:07:53,265 --> 00:07:55,142

Why the hell would I

dress up like Elvis?

00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:57,311

Why the hell would you dress

up like Evel Knievel?

00:07:57,436 --> 00:07:59,229

Anyway, I hope that you

kids are--

00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:00,814

aaagh!

00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:02,399

Eric! God bless it.

00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:03,942

What do you think you're doing?

00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:05,861

Hey, he said I could

have his pudding.

00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,362

Ask him yourself.

00:08:07,488 --> 00:08:09,907

"That's right,

Principal Victoria.

00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:12,868

It's okay with me,

'cause Eric is cool."

00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:15,245

Where did you get that

costume, young man?

00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:16,371

My mom made it.

00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:18,457

Sieg heil! Sieg heil!

00:08:18,582 --> 00:08:20,751

Shh! Oh, God bless America.

00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:23,712

You get into my office before

anyone else sees you.

00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:26,131

I have to show you

an educational video.

00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:29,676

I don't want to

see an educational video.

00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:33,514

Ow! You bit my arm!

00:08:33,639 --> 00:08:35,140

Oh, good.

Kenny's back to normal.

00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,017

Watch the video, Eric.

00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:39,520

Adolf Hitler was a very,

very naughty man.

00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:02,125

So remember, kids,

00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:04,044

dressing up like Hitler

in school

00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,712

isn't cool.

00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:08,048

Now, do you have

any questions?

00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:10,217

Can I see that again?

That was cool.

00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:12,886

You must remove that costume

immediately.

00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:15,681

I can't. I have to win those

two tons of candy.

00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:18,183

Well, how about we make you

a new costume?

00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:20,060

Let's see now.

00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:21,895

Aha.

Thought of something.

00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:24,189

How about we make you

a nice, scary ghost costume?

00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:26,692

I don't want to be a stupid

scary ghost.

00:09:26,817 --> 00:09:30,445

And let me just make a few

quickie alterations,

00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:32,781

and there you go, young man.

00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:39,371

Oh, looks like they got

a touch of that pinkeye

00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:40,664

that's going around.

00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:48,589

Boo. I'm a ghost.

00:09:48,714 --> 00:09:50,966

Oh, man, I feel like

a total chode.

00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,301

Aw, come on, Stan.

00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:53,510

Maybe that's just because

00:09:53,635 --> 00:09:54,761

you look like a total chode.

00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:56,305

Hello, children.

00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:57,472

Hey, Chef.

00:09:59,308 --> 00:10:01,351

Whoa, Chef's really scared

of ghosts, huh?

00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:02,811

Hey, where's Kyle?

00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,479

Check this out.

00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:05,606

Whoa, dude.

00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:06,857

What is that?

00:10:06,982 --> 00:10:08,525

I'm the whole solar system.

00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,027

The planets even all

revolve the right way.

00:10:10,152 --> 00:10:11,570

That tub of candy

is as good as mine.

00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:13,488

Okay, children.

00:10:13,614 --> 00:10:15,324

Let's get you lined up

so the judge

00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:17,326

can get a good look at

your stupid little costumes.

00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:20,537

Children, this year we have

a celebrity judge:

00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:23,582

the star of "Family Ties,"

Miss Tina Yothers.

00:10:23,707 --> 00:10:24,875

Who?

00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:25,959

Dude, I thought she was dead.

00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:27,127

Yeah, me too.

00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:28,754

Thank you, Miss Yothers.

00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:32,591

Okay, the second-place award

for best costume

00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:34,259

goes to...

00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:37,220

Kenny, for his

Edward James Olmos costume!

00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:41,808

And the award for the very

best costume

00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,060

goes to...

00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:47,856

Wendy, for her Chewbacca

costume.

00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,859

What?! But she looks just

like everybody else.

00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,319

Up yours, Tina Yothers!

00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,490

And the award for worst

costume this year goes to...

00:10:56,615 --> 00:10:59,493

Stan, for his stupid little

clown thing costume.

00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:01,578

Let's all point at Stan

and laugh, children.

00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,705

Yeah.

00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:04,790

Thanks a lot, Wendy.

00:11:04,915 --> 00:11:06,249

You ruined my Halloween.

00:11:06,375 --> 00:11:08,126

Relax, Stan.

00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:10,003

You'll feel better once

we're out trick-or-treating.

00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:11,505

I don't want to

trick-or-treat with you!

00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:13,590

You lied to me!

Okay, children,

00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:16,051

let's all gather round and bob

for stupid apples now.

00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,762

You go first, Bebe.

00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:20,639

That's good. Just use

those mouth muscles

00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:21,932

like the girls in Beijing.

00:11:22,057 --> 00:11:23,517

Brains!

00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:26,937

Wait your turn, Clyde!

00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:32,609

Argh! Damn, Johnson.

00:11:32,734 --> 00:11:34,569

What the hell has

gotten into you?

00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:37,280

Piiinnnkkk... eyyeee...

00:11:37,406 --> 00:11:38,990

Get the hell out of here,

Johnson!

00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:41,827

I don't want no

goddamn pinkeye!

00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,247

And the President responded

to the incident by saying,

00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:47,332

quote, "Screw those

commie bastards,

00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,876

and screw their little

wussy space station."

00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:51,753

In other news,

a pinkeye epidemic

00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:54,297

is now sweeping the town

of South Park.

00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:56,758

Here with a live report

is a midget wearing a bikini.

00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:59,094

Thanks, Tom. Already more

than half the townspeople

00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:00,762

here in South Park

have been infected

00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,514

with the pinkeye virus.

00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,769

Symptoms include a complete

loss of heart functions,

00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,438

blood pressure, lung activity,

00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:12,441

and of course, sticky,

puffy, eyes.

00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:13,900

Pinkeye my ass.

00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:16,111

I've seen this kind

of thing before.

00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:19,573

Where the hell is Kyle?

00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:21,116

We don't have all night

to wait for him.

00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,909

I bet I get more candy

than you, dude.

00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:24,286

Are you crazy?

00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:25,662

I'm the Candy Master!

00:12:25,787 --> 00:12:26,997

No, no, you're the Ass

Master.

00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:28,749

There's a difference.

00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:30,333

Hey! I'm not the one

who walked around all day

00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:32,043

looking like Pippi

Longstockings!

00:12:32,169 --> 00:12:34,087

Oh, yeah? Well at least

my mom's not on the cover

00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:35,672

of Crack Whore Magazine.

00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:37,716

Goddammit! My mom is not

on the cover

00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:39,259

of Crack Whore Magazine!

00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:41,052

Hey, dudes.

- Oh, good, you're here.

00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:42,471

Now, let's make sure

we've got everything.

00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:43,889

Flashlight?

- Check.

00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:45,390

Plastic pumpkin pails?

- Check.

00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:47,058

Taser?

- What's that?

00:12:47,184 --> 00:12:48,435

For shocking people

who try to give us

00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:49,686

granola treats or something.

00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:51,813

Yeah, granola pisses me off.

00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,148

Hey, Kenny.

00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:56,234

Whew! You stink, Kenny!

00:12:56,359 --> 00:12:58,278

You still didn't get

a costume, Kenny?

00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:01,531

Eh, too bad drinking Scotch

isn't a paying job,

00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:03,825

or else Kenny's dad

would be a millionaire.

00:13:05,327 --> 00:13:07,621

I said your dad would be

a millionaire, Kenny!

00:13:07,746 --> 00:13:10,624

Kenny!

Your family is poor, Kenny!

00:13:10,749 --> 00:13:12,167

Your family's poor!

00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:14,961

I don't like Kenny anymore.

00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:17,756

He just doesn't communicate.

00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:19,800

Hi, guys.

- Hi, Wendy.

00:13:19,925 --> 00:13:21,510

How's your barrel full

of candy, Wendy?

00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:24,095

Oh, I didn't want

all that sweet stuff.

00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:27,057

I gave it away to hungry

children in Nairobi.

00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:29,684

You what?!

Are you insane?!

00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:31,353

Let's go trick-or-treats!

00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:33,063

I don't think so, Wendy.

00:13:33,188 --> 00:13:35,148

I think you've had enough candy

for one day.

00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:38,401

Stan, I'm awful sorry you got

dressed up like Raggedy Andy.

00:13:38,527 --> 00:13:40,403

Please don't be mad.

00:13:40,529 --> 00:13:42,614

How can he be mad with such

pretty hair and rosy cheeks?

00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:44,491

Trick-or-treat with yourself,

Wendy!

00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:46,743

But Stan...

- No buts, Wendy.

00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:47,953

I wish you were dead!

00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:56,086

Doctor!

- Why hello, Chef.

00:13:56,211 --> 00:13:57,879

Let me guess--pinkeye, right?

00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,673

No. No, Doctor.

00:13:59,798 --> 00:14:01,383

I've seen this type

of thing before.

00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,844

This ain't no pinkeye.

It's the Living Dead.

00:14:03,969 --> 00:14:05,679

What the hell are you

talking about?

00:14:05,804 --> 00:14:07,389

Think about it.

00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:08,765

Dead people getting up

and walking around...

00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,267

and Tina Yothers

come to town?

00:14:10,392 --> 00:14:12,310

Coincidence?

Oh, I don't think so.

00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:14,479

Chef, I think maybe

the pinkeye has made you

00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:15,981

a little delirious.

00:14:16,106 --> 00:14:18,066

Let me give you some

topical cream.

00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,734

Damn it, don't you see?

00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:21,319

These people have been

zombified!

00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:23,071

They got no heartbeat,

no feeling--

00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,364

I'll show you.

00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:29,202

Uh, Mr. Torres was here for

a routine checkup, Chef.

00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:31,788

Oh, sorry.

00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:33,665

But my point is

00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,959

that topical cream ain't gonna

fix what's wrong here!

00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:39,087

Hey now, now there have been

a lot of incredible advances

00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,590

in topical creams

over the last few years.

00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:43,800

Doctor, who was the first

person to come in here

00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:45,260

with the sickness?

00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,012

Well, uh, it was

the mortician

00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:48,972

and his assistant

at the morgue, yeah.

00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,812

Now, now, fellas,

let's form a line.

00:14:55,937 --> 00:14:58,398

I've got enough topical cream

for everybody.

00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:01,318

Trick-or-treat!

00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:05,655

Oh, how cute.

00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:09,034

Dude, Kenny!

00:15:09,159 --> 00:15:12,037

Oh, my God! Call 911!

00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:14,706

Call 911!

Nice going, Kenny.

00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:16,249

She was about to give us candy!

00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:18,001

Yeah! She had Sweetie Pops!

00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,211

You owe me a Sweetie Pop,

asshole!

00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:24,591

Mayor, we've got

a big problem.

00:15:24,716 --> 00:15:28,094

Why-why Chef,

what a surprise.

00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:30,221

You're probably wondering

why we're standing here

00:15:30,347 --> 00:15:32,849

with a pile of money

and no pants on.

00:15:32,974 --> 00:15:33,892

Actually, uh--

00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:35,393

Well, I can assure you

00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:37,020

that it has absolutely nothing

00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:39,105

to do with the Japanese Mafia.

00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:41,066

Not a thingy-dingy.

00:15:41,191 --> 00:15:42,776

I don't really give a crap.

00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:44,444

We've got to do something

about the Living Dead!

00:15:44,569 --> 00:15:46,321

You mean Tina Yothers?

00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:51,451

No, dammit!

I'm talking about the zombies

00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:53,370

that have taken over

South Park!

00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:56,081

Well, Evel Knievel, why don't

you jump over them

00:15:56,206 --> 00:15:57,666

with your rocket cycle?

00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,087

Aw, to hell with you both!

00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:05,966

Well, let's get back to it.

- Righty-o.

00:16:06,091 --> 00:16:08,969

Trick-or-treat!

00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:11,805

Hope you kids like chocolate

peanut butter cream puffies.

00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:14,808

Get it off!

Get it off me!

00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:23,441

Dammit!

We'll never get any candy

00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:25,193

if Kenny keeps eating people!

00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:26,778

Yeah! That's it, Kenny!

00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:28,613

You can't

trick-or-treat with us anymore!

00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:31,449

Oh, God!

00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:34,703

Trick-or-treat.

00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:39,207

Hey, they're all dressed up

like ghosts too.

00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:42,669

One Tootie bar?

You cheap bastards!

00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:51,636

Trick-or--aaargh!

00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:54,681

Get off my property you brain

eatin' zombie bastards!

00:16:54,806 --> 00:16:56,599

No, Chef, No!

00:16:56,725 --> 00:16:58,935

Oh, sorry children, I thought

you were one of them!

00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:01,062

Can we have some candy now,

please?

00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:04,024

Dammit boy, what the hell are

you doing dressed up like that?

00:17:04,149 --> 00:17:05,942

I'm trying to trick-or-treat,

goddammit!

00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:08,194

Remind me to whoop your ass

good next time I see you.

00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:10,530

Now get in here before

those zombies get you.

00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:13,575

What are you talking about,

Chef?

00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:15,827

Zombies, children.

South Park is overrun

00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:17,537

with the Living Dead.

00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:20,582

Haven't you noticed anything

strange lately?

00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:22,042

Well, not really,

except that Kenny keeps

00:17:22,167 --> 00:17:23,126

eating people's brains.

00:17:23,251 --> 00:17:24,669

Don't you children see?

00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:26,129

Kenny's turned into a zombie,

00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:27,756

along with

everyone else in town.

00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,299

Oh, my God. That means...

00:17:29,424 --> 00:17:31,134

If everyone has turned

into zombies...

00:17:31,259 --> 00:17:34,429

Then there won't be anyone

to give us candy!

00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:37,557

Chef! You've got to help us!

00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:39,142

I'm working on it, children.

00:17:40,185 --> 00:17:41,728

Wait, where are we going?

00:17:41,853 --> 00:17:43,271

The doctor said the first

people he treated

00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,607

were the mortician

and his assistant.

00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:48,109

Now, I've got a hunch we'll

get to the bottom of this

00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:49,110

at the morgue.

00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:53,198

It was Kyle.

00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:58,078

I don't know

about this, Chef.

00:17:58,203 --> 00:17:59,579

Yeah, I'm scared.

00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:03,792

Remember candy.

Focus on the candy.

00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:05,418

What are we doing here, Chef?

00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:08,046

Just look for anything

suspicious.

00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:09,881

I found it! I found it!

00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:11,508

What?

See, Cartman?

00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,718

Your mom is on the cover.

00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:16,346

We told you, dude.

00:18:18,223 --> 00:18:20,225

You better let me

take that, Kyle.

00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:22,435

Hey, Chef, look.

00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:30,777

I got to call this

hotline number, children.

00:18:30,902 --> 00:18:32,904

Piiink eyyyeee.

00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:34,280

It's the British kid!

00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:35,740

He's a little limey zombie now!

00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:38,201

Look out, children!

00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:47,961

Ow! Oh, God!

00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:49,504

Okay, Chef, dial

the hotline number!

00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:52,257

Chef?

00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:53,341

Chef!

00:18:55,093 --> 00:18:56,970

♪ I'm gonna make love ♪

00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:59,264

♪ Even when I'm dead ♪

00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:01,182

♪ My body might get cold ♪

00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:03,393

♪ But it's always hot

in my bed ♪

00:19:03,518 --> 00:19:05,311

♪ Make love ♪

00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:07,063

♪ Don't you be afraid ♪

00:19:07,188 --> 00:19:09,274

♪ Just because my heart

ain't beating ♪

00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:11,818

♪ It don't mean you

won't get laid ♪

00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:13,945

♪ Yee-hee! ♪

00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:15,572

Let's get out of here!

00:19:15,697 --> 00:19:18,241

Ohhhh!

00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:20,535

We gotta call that

Worcestershire sauce hotline!

00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:22,245

Hey, there's a payphone!

00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:23,580

You call the number, Kyle.

00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:24,581

But the zombies are coming!

00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:27,125

We'll hold them off.

00:19:28,585 --> 00:19:29,669

Welcome to the

Worcestershire sauce

00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:31,629

customer service hotline.

00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:32,922

For Worcestershire

sauce recipes, please press 1

00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:34,716

followed by the pound sign.

00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:35,925

For Worcestershire sauce

product placement,

00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:37,886

please press 2.

00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:39,220

If Worcestershire sauce has

been used as embalming,

00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:40,763

please press--

00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:42,390

Nobody screws up my

trick-or-treats

00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:43,725

and gets away with it!

00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,603

Yeah, cool!

00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:47,729

Sweet!

00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:53,401

Worcestershire sauce

emergency hotline.

00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,153

This call might be monitored

00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:56,279

to ensure you the highest

quality service.

00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:57,614

How may I help you?

00:19:57,739 --> 00:19:58,656

There's a bunch

of zombies here!

00:19:58,781 --> 00:20:00,158

Please hold.

00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:09,834

Wendy?

00:20:11,586 --> 00:20:13,296

Finish her, dude.

She's a zombie now.

00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:14,547

I know, but...

00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:16,466

But--

- Come on, Stan!

00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:18,301

Remember how she dissed

you at the costume contest?

00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:19,594

Hey, yeah!

00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:23,097

With the regular sauce, the

first thing you need to do

00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:24,474

is make sure that

you do not just go out

00:20:24,599 --> 00:20:25,975

and start decapitating zombies

00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:27,727

left and right,

do you understand?

00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:30,313

Do not start decapitating

zombies left and right!

00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:32,065

Uh, okay.

Then what?

00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:34,776

Wendy, I know

we had a fight,

00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:36,319

and I did wish you were dead,

00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:38,446

but I didn't mean it.

Kill her, Stan!

00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:39,989

All you have to do is kill

the original zombie,

00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:41,491

the one that started

the whole mess.

00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:43,201

Once you kill

the original zombie,

00:20:43,326 --> 00:20:44,619

all the other zombies

will turn back to normal.

00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,621

Original zombie?

00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:48,581

Well, how the hell do we know

who the original zombie is?

00:20:48,706 --> 00:20:50,166

We realize you have a choice

in Worcestershire sauces.

00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:51,793

We are delighted that--

00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:53,002

Wait a minute.

00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:54,629

That thing landed on Kenny.

00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,422

And they took him

to the mortuary.

00:20:57,632 --> 00:20:58,675

I--I can't.

00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:09,102

Oh, my God!

I killed Kenny!

00:21:09,227 --> 00:21:10,937

You bastard!

00:21:11,062 --> 00:21:13,398

Oh... What happened?

00:21:13,523 --> 00:21:16,150

Stan?

- Don't worry, babe.

00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:17,944

Everything's gonna

be okay.

00:21:18,069 --> 00:21:19,737

It's working.

They're turning back to normal.

00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:21,572

You did it, children!

00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:22,699

Okay, let's go

trick-or-treating now.

00:21:22,824 --> 00:21:24,450

Come on.

00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:26,911

I'm sorry I dissed you

at school like that, Stan.

00:21:27,036 --> 00:21:30,456

I guess I just wasn't very

considerate of your feelings.

00:21:30,581 --> 00:21:33,209

That's okay, Wendy. I'm sorry

I wished you were dead.

00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:38,172

Maybe we could actually

kiss tonight, Stan.

00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:42,051

Ew, gross, Stan!

00:21:42,176 --> 00:21:45,138

Sick! Barf is gross!

00:21:50,518 --> 00:21:52,729

Oh, man.

I can't believe he's gone.

00:21:52,854 --> 00:21:54,981

Yeah, he was too young

to be taken from us.

00:21:55,106 --> 00:21:56,983

Dude, you're the one who cut

him in half with a chainsaw.

00:21:57,108 --> 00:21:59,527

Let us remember

the good times.

00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:02,030

Kenny would have

wanted it that way.

00:22:06,701 --> 00:22:08,202

You know, I've really

learned something today.

00:22:08,328 --> 00:22:10,955

Halloween isn't about

costumes or candy.

00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:12,582

It's about being good

to one another

00:22:12,707 --> 00:22:14,125

and giving and loving.

00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:16,294

No, dude, that's Christmas.

00:22:16,419 --> 00:22:18,421

Oh. Then what's

Halloween about?

00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:20,381

Costumes and candy.

- Oh.

00:22:22,300 --> 00:22:24,552

Well, let's get home and start

eating that candy.

00:22:24,677 --> 00:22:26,220

We can eat it

at Cartman's house

00:22:26,346 --> 00:22:27,680

and see more naughty pictures

of his mom!

00:22:27,805 --> 00:22:29,390

Yeah.

- Knock it off, you guys!

00:22:29,515 --> 00:22:31,225

She said she was young

and needed the money!

00:22:31,351 --> 00:22:33,311

Cartman, those pictures were

taken, like, last month.

00:22:33,436 --> 00:22:36,272

Screw you guys!

00:22:46,407 --> 00:22:47,617

Ugh!

00:00:06,298 --> 00:00:07,675

Children: Howdy-ho!

00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:09,218

I'm rootin'-tootin'

Trey Parker.

00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:10,928

And I'm pistol-slingin'

Matt Stone.

00:00:11,053 --> 00:00:12,221

This here's Old Scratch.

Say hi, old fella.

00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:13,806

Children: Howdy, Scratch!

00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:15,599

Trey and I are right excited

about now

00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:17,101

because this first episode

of "South Park" is, well,

00:00:17,226 --> 00:00:18,811

our favorite episode.

00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:20,521

That's right, Matt.

It's called "Pinkeye."

00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,398

It originally aired as our

Halloween special.

00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,692

It's all about an epidemic

going through "South Park"

00:00:24,817 --> 00:00:27,069

and the boys having

to save the day.

00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:29,155

Trey and I wanted to do

an episode about disease,

00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:31,365

and well, we figured

pinkeye was the right one.

00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:32,950

That's right.

00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:34,452

You know, pinkeye is

a real disease.

00:00:34,577 --> 00:00:36,037

Anybody can get it.

00:00:36,162 --> 00:00:38,748

So kids, be careful

who you been with.

00:00:38,873 --> 00:00:40,708

To fight this

horrible disease,

00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:43,294

all proceeds from this video

will go to pinkeye research.

00:00:43,419 --> 00:00:44,795

[scoffs] Yeah, right.

00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,130

Right.

00:00:46,255 --> 00:00:47,673

We're not gonna

give away money.

00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:49,467

Oh, look, it's our

Indian friend,

00:00:49,592 --> 00:00:50,634

Indian Companion.

00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:51,677

Hello, Indian Companion.

00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:53,679

Someone coming.

00:00:58,142 --> 00:00:59,351

Thanks.

00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:03,898

Anyway, all y'all sit back,

00:01:04,023 --> 00:01:06,025

relax, and enjoy...

00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:07,193

"Pinkeye."

00:01:07,318 --> 00:01:08,694

children: Hooray!

00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:10,362

[applause]

00:01:17,036 --> 00:01:20,372

[woman shrieks]

00:01:20,498 --> 00:01:21,874

♪ I'm going down

to South Park ♪

00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:23,876

♪ Gonna have

myself a time ♪

00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:25,586

all: ♪ Friendly faces

everywhere ♪

00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:27,129

♪ Humble folks

without temptation ♪

00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:28,589

♪ Going down

to South Park ♪

00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:30,424

♪ Gonna leave my

woes behind ♪

00:01:30,549 --> 00:01:32,134

♪ Ample parking

day or night ♪

00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:33,636

♪ People spouting:

"Howdy neighbor!" ♪

00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:35,137

♪ Headed on up

to South Park ♪

00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:36,889

♪ Gonna see if

I can't unwind ♪

00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:40,059

[singing indistinctly]

00:01:40,184 --> 00:01:41,560

♪ So come on down

to South Park ♪

00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:43,354

♪ And meet some

friends of mine ♪

00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:50,611

[celestial music]

00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:54,240

[speaking Russian]

00:01:54,365 --> 00:01:56,242

Graah!

- Aieee!

00:01:56,367 --> 00:01:57,785

[speaking Russian]

00:02:01,956 --> 00:02:03,624

[alarm blaring]

00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:11,799

[smash]

00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:15,886

Oh, my God,

they killed Kenny!

00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:17,304

You bastards!

00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:18,556

What the hell

is that thing?

00:02:18,681 --> 00:02:19,932

It looks

like a UFO.

00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:21,350

There's no such

thing as UFOs.

00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:24,061

[sirens]

00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:26,063

Let's get him to the morgue.

00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:33,404

Hey, wait till

you guys see my Halloween

00:02:33,529 --> 00:02:35,531

costume tomorrow.

It kicks ass.

00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:36,991

Dude, it can't be

cooler than mine.

00:02:37,116 --> 00:02:38,409

Hey, man, we ought

to get home

00:02:38,534 --> 00:02:39,577

and get our

Costumes ready.

00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:44,373

[eerie music]

00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:49,086

♪♪

00:02:49,211 --> 00:02:51,463

You know, I think death

is least funny

00:02:51,589 --> 00:02:52,923

when it happens to a child.

00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:56,218

Oh, man,

I know what you mean.

00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,596

Marty, do you have to put

that stuff on everything?

00:02:58,721 --> 00:03:01,098

I don't know, it just

makes everything taste so...

00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:02,474

English.

00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:03,726

Well, let's let him drain.

00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:20,826

[ominous music]

00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,620

So then

the necrophiliac says,

00:03:22,745 --> 00:03:24,538

"If this ain't a cadaver,

then I..."

00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:27,750

Hey!

- Argh!

00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,668

God damn, that little turd

bit me!

00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:30,711

Me too!

00:03:30,836 --> 00:03:32,880

[owl hooting]

00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:40,512

[twangy music]

00:03:40,638 --> 00:03:41,931

[laughs]

You look like a pansy.

00:03:42,056 --> 00:03:43,474

Shut up, Kyle!

00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:44,725

What--what are you

supposed to be?!

00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,268

I'm Raggedy Andy.

00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:47,561

[laughs] Why the hell

did you dress up

00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:49,021

like Raggedy Andy, dude?

00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:51,065

Wendy's going

as Raggedy Anne.

00:03:51,190 --> 00:03:52,483

And she said this way we'd win

the costume contest for sure.

00:03:52,608 --> 00:03:53,984

No way, dude.

00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:55,486

I'm gonna win

the costume contest

00:03:55,611 --> 00:03:57,363

with this sweet

Chewbacca costume!

00:03:57,488 --> 00:03:59,490

Wendy said that first prize

is two tons of candy.

00:03:59,615 --> 00:04:00,491

Wow, cool!

00:04:00,616 --> 00:04:02,159

Hey, dudes.

00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:03,452

Cartman, what kind

of costume is that?

00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:05,537

It's Adolph Hitler costume.

00:04:05,663 --> 00:04:07,331

Sieg Heil! Sieg Heil!

00:04:07,456 --> 00:04:08,707

Where'd you get that?

00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:10,417

My mom made it.

Isn't it cool?

00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:12,169

No, it's not cool!

00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:14,046

What are you supposed

to be, Stan? Howdy Doody?

00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:16,298

No, I'm Raggedy Andy,

fat ass!

00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:17,675

Oh. Wow.

00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:18,926

You look pretty cool.

00:04:19,051 --> 00:04:20,386

[laughter]

00:04:20,511 --> 00:04:21,595

Sissy.

00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,347

I'll kick your ass, Kyle!

00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:25,266

Oh, look out!

Holly Hobby's all pissed off.

00:04:25,391 --> 00:04:27,059

Hey, look.

Kenny's not dead.

00:04:28,227 --> 00:04:29,270

You forgot to wear a costume,

Kenny.

00:04:29,395 --> 00:04:31,021

Yeah, what's the matter?

00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:32,690

Couldn't your family afford

a costume for you?

00:04:32,815 --> 00:04:34,275

Yeah, why is your family

so poor, Kenny?

00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,151

Kenny's family is so poor

00:04:36,277 --> 00:04:39,154

that yesterday they had to put

their cardboard box up

00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:40,406

for a second mortgage.

00:04:40,531 --> 00:04:42,283

[laughs]

00:04:44,702 --> 00:04:47,621

I said, your family had

to put a cardboard box up

00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,415

for a second mortgage, Kenny!

00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:53,294

I'm talking to you, Kenny!

Achtung!

00:04:53,419 --> 00:04:54,962

Poor piece of crap.

00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:58,340

Come on, we're running late!

00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,426

Ah, we're always running

late, you ugly skank.

00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:02,219

What did you say?!

00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:04,221

I said I can't wait

to own a fishing tank.

00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:06,432

Oh. Neither can I.

00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:11,520

Very interesting.

- Wh-what is it, doc?

00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:14,523

Well, your temperature

is only 55 degrees,

00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,358

you have no pulse,

no heartbeat,

00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:19,278

and your--your eyes are

all puffy and sticky.

00:05:19,403 --> 00:05:21,071

Oh, no. You mean...

00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:22,948

Yeah, I'm afraid

the two of you have pinkeye.

00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:24,366

[both gasp]

00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:25,951

I'd give you topical

medicine,

00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:27,995

but I don't want

to touch you.

00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,830

Oh, I'm so hungry and all I

can think about eating is...

00:05:29,955 --> 00:05:31,665

is brains!

00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:33,625

Yeah, well, for God's sake

don't touch your eyes.

00:05:33,751 --> 00:05:35,461

I'll prescribe some

antibiotics.

00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:39,673

Just wait till everyone sees

my sweet Chewbacca costume.

00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:41,300

They're gonna be so jealous.

00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:46,013

Whoa, dude.

- Everyone came as Chewbacca?!

00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:48,098

It sure does seem to be

a popular costume

00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:49,975

this year, Kyle.

00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:51,268

Rar.

00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:53,020

Damn it!

00:05:53,145 --> 00:05:54,897

Wendy?

- Hi, Stan.

00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,774

You said we were going to be

Raggedy Anne and Andy.

00:05:56,899 --> 00:05:58,692

Remember?

- Yeah.

00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:00,694

We were going to enter

the costume contest as a pair.

00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:02,363

I know, but then

00:06:02,488 --> 00:06:03,864

I guess I just realized

00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:06,241

how stupid we would look.

- You what?!

00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:08,327

I thought you would

reach the same conclusion,

00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:10,662

so I came as Chewbacca.

00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:13,791

[laughter]

- Hey Stan,

00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:15,501

you look almost

pretty enough to kiss.

00:06:15,626 --> 00:06:17,211

Yeah, you want to be my

girlfriend?

00:06:17,336 --> 00:06:18,879

[laughter]

00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:20,589

Hey, you see?

All of a sudden my costume

00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,424

is pretty badass, huh?

00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:25,010

Dude, dressing up like Hitler

is not badass.

00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:26,845

You're just jealous.

00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:28,472

Why don't you go back to Endor,

you stupid Wookie!

00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:29,681

Wookies don't live on Endor!

00:06:29,807 --> 00:06:31,308

Mimi ma mi mo momo!

00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:32,476

Well at least my mom's not

on the cover

00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:33,685

of Crack Whore Magazine!

00:06:33,811 --> 00:06:35,604

What? What did you say?!

00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:38,816

Okay now, all you little

Chewbaccas take your seats.

00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:40,901

Children, since today

is Halloween,

00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:42,528

I thought we should learn

something about

00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:44,863

the great horror writer

Jackie Collins.

00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:46,490

You see, when Jackie Collins

00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:48,325

first wrote her novel...

00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:49,535

Ew!

00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:51,120

Is there a problem, Kenny?

00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:54,832

Let's try to keep our hands

and arms to ourselves, okay?

00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:57,209

I'm never gonna win that

two tons of candy

00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:59,461

looking like everybody else.

00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:03,715

♪ Ooh, I'm gonna decorate

the house for Halloween ♪

00:07:03,841 --> 00:07:07,761

♪ With scary ghosts and bats

and creepy crawly things ♪

00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:10,556

Hello, there.

Happy Halloween.

00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:13,183

Must... eat... brains.

00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:15,227

Brains!

00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:18,439

♪ It's the most wonderful

time of the year ♪

00:07:18,564 --> 00:07:21,358

[humming]

00:07:21,859 --> 00:07:23,694

I'm gonna make a new costume

during recess.

00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:24,945

I can still win that candy.

00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:26,363

Hey, Kenny.

00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:28,157

Are you gonna eat

your pudding?

00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:32,077

"No, Eric, go ahead and take

my pudding if you like."

00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:33,579

Why, thank you, Kenny.

00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:34,913

How nice of you.

00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:36,165

Aren't you hungry, Kenny?

00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:39,001

He hasn't moved an inch

or said anything.

00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:40,335

Hello, children.

00:07:40,461 --> 00:07:41,670

both: Hey, Chef.

00:07:43,589 --> 00:07:45,924

What in the hell are you

doing dressed up like that?

00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:47,593

Eating Kenny's pudding.

00:07:47,718 --> 00:07:49,052

Hello there, children.

00:07:49,178 --> 00:07:50,804

Oh, love the Elvis

costume, Chef.

00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:53,140

Elvis? I'm Evel Knievel!

00:07:53,265 --> 00:07:55,142

Why the hell would I

dress up like Elvis?

00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:57,311

Why the hell would you dress

up like Evel Knievel?

00:07:57,436 --> 00:07:59,229

Anyway, I hope that you

kids are--

00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:00,814

aaagh!

00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:02,399

Eric! God bless it.

00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:03,942

What do you think you're doing?

00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:05,861

Hey, he said I could

have his pudding.

00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,362

Ask him yourself.

00:08:07,488 --> 00:08:09,907

"That's right,

Principal Victoria.

00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:12,868

It's okay with me,

'cause Eric is cool."

00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:15,245

Where did you get that

costume, young man?

00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:16,371

My mom made it.

00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:18,457

Sieg heil! Sieg heil!

00:08:18,582 --> 00:08:20,751

Shh! Oh, God bless America.

00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:23,712

You get into my office before

anyone else sees you.

00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:26,131

I have to show you

an educational video.

00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:29,676

[whimpers] I don't want to

see an educational video.

00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:33,514

Ow! You bit my arm!

00:08:33,639 --> 00:08:35,140

Oh, good.

Kenny's back to normal.

00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,017

Watch the video, Eric.

00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:39,520

Adolf Hitler was a very,

very naughty man.

00:08:39,645 --> 00:08:43,273

[speaking German]

00:08:52,324 --> 00:08:54,785

[speaking German]

00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:02,125

So remember, kids,

00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:04,044

dressing up like Hitler

in school

00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,712

isn't cool.

00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:08,048

Now, do you have

any questions?

00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:10,217

Can I see that again?

That was cool.

00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:12,886

You must remove that costume

immediately.

00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:15,681

I can't. I have to win those

two tons of candy.

00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:18,183

Well, how about we make you

a new costume?

00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:20,060

Let's see now.

00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:21,895

Aha.

Thought of something.

00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:24,189

How about we make you

a nice, scary ghost costume?

00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:26,692

I don't want to be a stupid

scary ghost.

00:09:26,817 --> 00:09:30,445

And let me just make a few

quickie alterations,

00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:32,781

and there you go, young man.

00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:39,371

Oh, looks like they got

a touch of that pinkeye

00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:40,664

that's going around.

00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:42,165

[groaning]

00:09:42,291 --> 00:09:45,168

[screaming]

00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:48,589

Boo. I'm a ghost.

00:09:48,714 --> 00:09:50,966

Oh, man, I feel like

a total chode.

00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,301

Aw, come on, Stan.

00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:53,510

Maybe that's just because

00:09:53,635 --> 00:09:54,761

you look like a total chode.

00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:56,305

Hello, children.

00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:57,472

Hey, Chef.

00:09:57,598 --> 00:09:59,182

[screams]

00:09:59,308 --> 00:10:01,351

Whoa, Chef's really scared

of ghosts, huh?

00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:02,811

Hey, where's Kyle?

00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,479

Check this out.

00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:05,606

Whoa, dude.

00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:06,857

What is that?

00:10:06,982 --> 00:10:08,525

I'm the whole solar system.

00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,027

The planets even all

revolve the right way.

00:10:10,152 --> 00:10:11,570

That tub of candy

is as good as mine.

00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:13,488

[blows whistle]

Okay, children.

00:10:13,614 --> 00:10:15,324

Let's get you lined up

so the judge

00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:17,326

can get a good look at

your stupid little costumes.

00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:20,537

Children, this year we have

a celebrity judge:

00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:23,582

the star of "Family Ties,"

Miss Tina Yothers.

00:10:23,707 --> 00:10:24,875

[applause]

Who?

00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:25,959

Dude, I thought she was dead.

00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:27,127

Yeah, me too.

00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:28,754

Thank you, Miss Yothers.

00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:32,591

Okay, the second-place award

for best costume

00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:34,259

goes to...

00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:37,220

Kenny, for his

Edward James Olmos costume!

00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:39,348

[applause]

00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:41,808

And the award for the very

best costume

00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,060

goes to...

00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:47,856

Wendy, for her Chewbacca

costume.

00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,859

What?! But she looks just

like everybody else.

00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,319

Up yours, Tina Yothers!

00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,490

And the award for worst

costume this year goes to...

00:10:56,615 --> 00:10:59,493

Stan, for his stupid little

clown thing costume.

00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:01,578

Let's all point at Stan

and laugh, children.

00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,705

[laughter]

Yeah.

00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:04,790

Thanks a lot, Wendy.

00:11:04,915 --> 00:11:06,249

You ruined my Halloween.

00:11:06,375 --> 00:11:08,126

Relax, Stan.

00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:10,003

You'll feel better once

we're out trick-or-treating.

00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:11,505

I don't want to

trick-or-treat with you!

00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:13,590

You lied to me!

Okay, children,

00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:16,051

let's all gather round and bob

for stupid apples now.

00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,762

You go first, Bebe.

00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:20,639

That's good. Just use

those mouth muscles

00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:21,932

like the girls in Beijing.

00:11:22,057 --> 00:11:23,517

Brains!

00:11:23,642 --> 00:11:25,143

[growling]

00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:26,937

Wait your turn, Clyde!

00:11:29,231 --> 00:11:30,649

[howls]

00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:32,609

Argh! Damn, Johnson.

00:11:32,734 --> 00:11:34,569

What the hell has

gotten into you?

00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:37,280

Piiinnnkkk... eyyeee...

00:11:37,406 --> 00:11:38,990

Get the hell out of here,

Johnson!

00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:41,827

I don't want no

goddamn pinkeye!

00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,247

And the President responded

to the incident by saying,

00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:47,332

quote, "Screw those

commie bastards,

00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,876

and screw their little

wussy space station."

00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:51,753

In other news,

a pinkeye epidemic

00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:54,297

is now sweeping the town

of South Park.

00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:56,758

Here with a live report

is a midget wearing a bikini.

00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:59,094

Thanks, Tom. Already more

than half the townspeople

00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:00,762

here in South Park

have been infected

00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,514

with the pinkeye virus.

00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:04,933

[snarling]

- [screams]

00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,769

Symptoms include a complete

loss of heart functions,

00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,438

blood pressure, lung activity,

00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:12,441

and of course, sticky,

puffy, eyes.

00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:13,900

Pinkeye my ass.

00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:16,111

I've seen this kind

of thing before.

00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:19,573

Where the hell is Kyle?

00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:21,116

We don't have all night

to wait for him.

00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,909

I bet I get more candy

than you, dude.

00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:24,286

Are you crazy?

00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:25,662

I'm the Candy Master!

00:12:25,787 --> 00:12:26,997

No, no, you're the Ass

Master.

00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:28,749

There's a difference.

00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:30,333

Hey! I'm not the one

who walked around all day

00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:32,043

looking like Pippi

Longstockings!

00:12:32,169 --> 00:12:34,087

Oh, yeah? Well at least

my mom's not on the cover

00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:35,672

of Crack Whore Magazine.

00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:37,716

Goddammit! My mom is not

on the cover

00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:39,259

of Crack Whore Magazine!

00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:41,052

Hey, dudes.

- Oh, good, you're here.

00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:42,471

Now, let's make sure

we've got everything.

00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:43,889

Flashlight?

- Check.

00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:45,390

Plastic pumpkin pails?

- Check.

00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:47,058

Taser?

- What's that?

00:12:47,184 --> 00:12:48,435

For shocking people

who try to give us

00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:49,686

granola treats or something.

00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:51,813

Yeah, granola pisses me off.

00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,148

[together] Hey, Kenny.

00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:56,234

Whew! You stink, Kenny!

00:12:56,359 --> 00:12:58,278

You still didn't get

a costume, Kenny?

00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:01,531

Eh, too bad drinking Scotch

isn't a paying job,

00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:03,825

or else Kenny's dad

would be a millionaire.

00:13:05,327 --> 00:13:07,621

I said your dad would be

a millionaire, Kenny!

00:13:07,746 --> 00:13:10,624

Kenny!

Your family is poor, Kenny!

00:13:10,749 --> 00:13:12,167

Your family's poor!

00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:14,961

I don't like Kenny anymore.

00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:17,756

He just doesn't communicate.

00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:19,800

Hi, guys.

- Hi, Wendy.

00:13:19,925 --> 00:13:21,510

How's your barrel full

of candy, Wendy?

00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:24,095

Oh, I didn't want

all that sweet stuff.

00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:27,057

I gave it away to hungry

children in Nairobi.

00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:29,684

You what?!

Are you insane?!

00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:31,353

Let's go trick-or-treats!

00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:33,063

I don't think so, Wendy.

00:13:33,188 --> 00:13:35,148

I think you've had enough candy

for one day.

00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:38,401

Stan, I'm awful sorry you got

dressed up like Raggedy Andy.

00:13:38,527 --> 00:13:40,403

Please don't be mad.

00:13:40,529 --> 00:13:42,614

How can he be mad with such

pretty hair and rosy cheeks?

00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:44,491

Trick-or-treat with yourself,

Wendy!

00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:46,743

But Stan...

- No buts, Wendy.

00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:47,953

I wish you were dead!

00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:51,206

[groaning]

00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:52,207

[screams]

00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:53,834

[coughs]

00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:56,086

Doctor!

- Why hello, Chef.

00:13:56,211 --> 00:13:57,879

Let me guess--pinkeye, right?

00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,673

No. No, Doctor.

00:13:59,798 --> 00:14:01,383

I've seen this type

of thing before.

00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,844

This ain't no pinkeye.

It's the Living Dead.

00:14:03,969 --> 00:14:05,679

What the hell are you

talking about?

00:14:05,804 --> 00:14:07,389

Think about it.

00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:08,765

Dead people getting up

and walking around...

00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,267

and Tina Yothers

come to town?

00:14:10,392 --> 00:14:12,310

Coincidence?

Oh, I don't think so.

00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:14,479

Chef, I think maybe

the pinkeye has made you

00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:15,981

a little delirious.

00:14:16,106 --> 00:14:18,066

Let me give you some

topical cream.

00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,734

Damn it, don't you see?

00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:21,319

These people have been

zombified!

00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:23,071

They got no heartbeat,

no feeling--

00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,364

I'll show you.

00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:26,241

[screams]

00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:29,202

Uh, Mr. Torres was here for

a routine checkup, Chef.

00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:31,788

Oh, sorry.

00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:33,665

But my point is

00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,959

that topical cream ain't gonna

fix what's wrong here!

00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:39,087

Hey now, now there have been

a lot of incredible advances

00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,590

in topical creams

over the last few years.

00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:43,800

Doctor, who was the first

person to come in here

00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:45,260

with the sickness?

00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,012

Well, uh, it was

the mortician

00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:48,972

and his assistant

at the morgue, yeah.

00:14:49,848 --> 00:14:51,266

[screams]

00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:54,102

[all growling]

00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,812

Now, now, fellas,

let's form a line.

00:14:55,937 --> 00:14:58,398

I've got enough topical cream

for everybody.

00:14:58,523 --> 00:15:00,066

[screams]

00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:01,318

[together] Trick-or-treat!

00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:05,655

Oh, how cute.

00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:09,034

[screams]

Dude, Kenny!

00:15:09,159 --> 00:15:12,037

Oh, my God! Call 911!

00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:14,706

Call 911!

Nice going, Kenny.

00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:16,249

She was about to give us candy!

00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:18,001

Yeah! She had Sweetie Pops!

00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,211

You owe me a Sweetie Pop,

asshole!

00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:24,591

Mayor, we've got

a big problem.

00:15:24,716 --> 00:15:28,094

[gasps] Why-why Chef,

what a surprise.

00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:30,221

You're probably wondering

why we're standing here

00:15:30,347 --> 00:15:32,849

with a pile of money

and no pants on.

00:15:32,974 --> 00:15:33,892

Actually, uh--

00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:35,393

Well, I can assure you

00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:37,020

that it has absolutely nothing

00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:39,105

to do with the Japanese Mafia.

00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:41,066

Not a thingy-dingy.

00:15:41,191 --> 00:15:42,776

I don't really give a crap.

00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:44,444

We've got to do something

about the Living Dead!

00:15:44,569 --> 00:15:46,321

You mean Tina Yothers?

00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:49,449

[laughter]

00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:51,451

No, dammit!

I'm talking about the zombies

00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:53,370

that have taken over

South Park!

00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:56,081

Well, Evel Knievel, why don't

you jump over them

00:15:56,206 --> 00:15:57,666

with your rocket cycle?

00:15:57,791 --> 00:16:00,335

[laughter]

00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,087

Aw, to hell with you both!

00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:05,966

Well, let's get back to it.

- Righty-o.

00:16:06,091 --> 00:16:08,969

[doorbell chimes]

[together] Trick-or-treat!

00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:11,805

Hope you kids like chocolate

peanut butter cream puffies.

00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:14,808

[screams] Get it off!

Get it off me!

00:16:14,933 --> 00:16:16,851

[screams]

00:16:20,772 --> 00:16:22,023

[munching]

00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:23,441

Dammit!

We'll never get any candy

00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:25,193

if Kenny keeps eating people!

00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:26,778

Yeah! That's it, Kenny!

00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:28,613

You can't

trick-or-treat with us anymore!

00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:31,449

[overlapping screams]

man: Oh, God!

00:16:31,574 --> 00:16:33,159

[doorbell chimes]

00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:34,703

[together] Trick-or-treat.

00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:39,207

Hey, they're all dressed up

like ghosts too.

00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:42,669

One Tootie bar?

You cheap bastards!

00:16:42,794 --> 00:16:46,006

[overlapping screams]

[car alarm blaring]

00:16:48,425 --> 00:16:49,676

[doorbell chimes]

00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:51,636

[together] Trick-or--aaargh!

00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:54,681

Get off my property you brain

eatin' zombie bastards!

00:16:54,806 --> 00:16:56,599

[together] No, Chef, No!

00:16:56,725 --> 00:16:58,935

Oh, sorry children, I thought

you were one of them!

00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:01,062

Can we have some candy now,

please?

00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:04,024

Dammit boy, what the hell are

you doing dressed up like that?

00:17:04,149 --> 00:17:05,942

I'm trying to trick-or-treat,

goddammit!

00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:08,194

Remind me to whoop your ass

good next time I see you.

00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:10,530

Now get in here before

those zombies get you.

00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:13,575

What are you talking about,

Chef?

00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:15,827

Zombies, children.

South Park is overrun

00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:17,537

with the Living Dead.

00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:20,582

Haven't you noticed anything

strange lately?

00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:22,042

Well, not really,

except that Kenny keeps

00:17:22,167 --> 00:17:23,126

eating people's brains.

00:17:23,251 --> 00:17:24,669

Don't you children see?

00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:26,129

Kenny's turned into a zombie,

00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:27,756

along with

everyone else in town.

00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,299

Oh, my God. That means...

00:17:29,424 --> 00:17:31,134

If everyone has turned

into zombies...

00:17:31,259 --> 00:17:34,429

Then there won't be anyone

to give us candy!

00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,222

[all gasp]

[screams]

00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:37,557

Chef! You've got to help us!

00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:39,142

I'm working on it, children.

00:17:40,185 --> 00:17:41,728

Wait, where are we going?

00:17:41,853 --> 00:17:43,271

The doctor said the first

people he treated

00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,607

were the mortician

and his assistant.

00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:48,109

Now, I've got a hunch we'll

get to the bottom of this

00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:49,110

at the morgue.

00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,779

[ominous music]

00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,072

[flatulence]

00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:53,198

[laughter]

It was Kyle.

00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:58,078

I don't know

about this, Chef.

00:17:58,203 --> 00:17:59,579

Yeah, I'm scared.

00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:03,792

Remember candy.

Focus on the candy.

00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:05,418

What are we doing here, Chef?

00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:08,046

Just look for anything

suspicious.

00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:09,881

I found it! I found it!

00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:11,508

What?

See, Cartman?

00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,718

Your mom is on the cover.

00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:16,346

[sputtering]

We told you, dude.

00:18:16,471 --> 00:18:18,098

[sputtering]

00:18:18,223 --> 00:18:20,225

You better let me

take that, Kyle.

00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:22,435

Hey, Chef, look.

00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:25,438

[tense music]

00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:27,857

♪♪

00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:30,777

I got to call this

hotline number, children.

00:18:30,902 --> 00:18:32,904

Piiink eyyyeee.

00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:34,280

It's the British kid!

00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:35,740

He's a little limey zombie now!

00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:36,908

[screams]

00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:38,201

Look out, children!

00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:39,828

[overlapping moans]

00:18:42,831 --> 00:18:45,542

[extended growl]

00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:47,961

Ow! Oh, God!

00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:49,504

Okay, Chef, dial

the hotline number!

00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:52,257

Chef?

00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:53,341

Chef!

00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:54,968

[funky music]

00:18:55,093 --> 00:18:56,970

♪ I'm gonna make love ♪

00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:59,264

♪ Even when I'm dead ♪

00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:01,182

♪ My body might get cold ♪

00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:03,393

♪ But it's always hot

in my bed ♪

00:19:03,518 --> 00:19:05,311

♪ Make love ♪

00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:07,063

♪ Don't you be afraid ♪

00:19:07,188 --> 00:19:09,274

♪ Just because my heart

ain't beating ♪

00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:11,818

♪ It don't mean you

won't get laid ♪

00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:13,945

♪ Yee-hee! ♪

00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:15,572

Let's get out of here!

00:19:15,697 --> 00:19:18,241

Ohhhh!

00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:20,535

We gotta call that

Worcestershire sauce hotline!

00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:22,245

Hey, there's a payphone!

00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:23,580

You call the number, Kyle.

00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:24,581

But the zombies are coming!

00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:25,665

[moans]

00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:27,125

We'll hold them off.

00:19:28,585 --> 00:19:29,669

Welcome to the

Worcestershire sauce

00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:31,629

customer service hotline.

00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:32,922

For Worcestershire

sauce recipes, please press 1

00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:34,716

followed by the pound sign.

00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:35,925

For Worcestershire sauce

product placement,

00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:37,886

please press 2.

00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:39,220

If Worcestershire sauce has

been used as embalming,

00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:40,763

please press--

[beep]

00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:42,390

Nobody screws up my

trick-or-treats

00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:43,725

and gets away with it!

00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,603

[saw buzzing]

Yeah, cool!

00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:47,729

Sweet!

00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:53,401

Worcestershire sauce

emergency hotline.

00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,153

This call might be monitored

00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:56,279

to ensure you the highest

quality service.

00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:57,614

How may I help you?

00:19:57,739 --> 00:19:58,656

There's a bunch

of zombies here!

00:19:58,781 --> 00:20:00,158

Please hold.

00:20:00,283 --> 00:20:02,619

[saws buzzing]

00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:09,834

Wendy?

00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:11,461

[snarls]

00:20:11,586 --> 00:20:13,296

Finish her, dude.

She's a zombie now.

00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:14,547

I know, but...

00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:16,466

But--

- Come on, Stan!

00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:18,301

Remember how she dissed

you at the costume contest?

00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:19,594

Hey, yeah!

00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:23,097

With the regular sauce, the

first thing you need to do

00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:24,474

is make sure that

you do not just go out

00:20:24,599 --> 00:20:25,975

and start decapitating zombies

00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:27,727

left and right,

do you understand?

00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:30,313

Do not start decapitating

zombies left and right!

00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:32,065

Uh, okay.

Then what?

00:20:32,190 --> 00:20:33,524

[shrieks]

00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:34,776

Wendy, I know

we had a fight,

00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:36,319

and I did wish you were dead,

00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:38,446

but I didn't mean it.

Kill her, Stan!

00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:39,989

All you have to do is kill

the original zombie,

00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:41,491

the one that started

the whole mess.

00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:43,201

Once you kill

the original zombie,

00:20:43,326 --> 00:20:44,619

all the other zombies

will turn back to normal.

00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,621

Original zombie?

00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:48,581

Well, how the hell do we know

who the original zombie is?

00:20:48,706 --> 00:20:50,166

We realize you have a choice

in Worcestershire sauces.

00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:51,793

We are delighted that--

[click]

00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:53,002

Wait a minute.

00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:54,629

That thing landed on Kenny.

00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,422

And they took him

to the mortuary.

00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:57,507

[howling]

00:20:57,632 --> 00:20:58,675

I--I can't.

00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,176

[snarling]

00:21:01,386 --> 00:21:03,471

[grinding]

00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:09,102

Oh, my God!

I killed Kenny!

00:21:09,227 --> 00:21:10,937

You bastard!

00:21:11,062 --> 00:21:13,398

Oh... What happened?

00:21:13,523 --> 00:21:16,150

Stan?

- Don't worry, babe.

00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:17,944

Everything's gonna

be okay.

00:21:18,069 --> 00:21:19,737

It's working.

They're turning back to normal.

00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:21,572

You did it, children!

00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:22,699

Okay, let's go

trick-or-treating now.

00:21:22,824 --> 00:21:24,450

Come on.

00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:26,911

I'm sorry I dissed you

at school like that, Stan.

00:21:27,036 --> 00:21:30,456

I guess I just wasn't very

considerate of your feelings.

00:21:30,581 --> 00:21:33,209

That's okay, Wendy. I'm sorry

I wished you were dead.

00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:38,172

Maybe we could actually

kiss tonight, Stan.

00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:39,674

[tender music]

00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:42,051

[retches]

- Ew, gross, Stan!

00:21:42,176 --> 00:21:45,138

Sick! Barf is gross!

00:21:48,558 --> 00:21:50,393

[melancholy music]

00:21:50,518 --> 00:21:52,729

Oh, man.

I can't believe he's gone.

00:21:52,854 --> 00:21:54,981

Yeah, he was too young

to be taken from us.

00:21:55,106 --> 00:21:56,983

Dude, you're the one who cut

him in half with a chainsaw.

00:21:57,108 --> 00:21:59,527

Let us remember

the good times.

00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:02,030

Kenny would have

wanted it that way.

00:22:02,155 --> 00:22:04,198

[weeping]

00:22:06,701 --> 00:22:08,202

You know, I've really

learned something today.

00:22:08,328 --> 00:22:10,955

Halloween isn't about

costumes or candy.

00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:12,582

It's about being good

to one another

00:22:12,707 --> 00:22:14,125

and giving and loving.

00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:16,294

No, dude, that's Christmas.

00:22:16,419 --> 00:22:18,421

Oh. Then what's

Halloween about?

00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:20,381

Costumes and candy.

- Oh.

00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:22,175

[weeping]

00:22:22,300 --> 00:22:24,552

Well, let's get home and start

eating that candy.

00:22:24,677 --> 00:22:26,220

We can eat it

at Cartman's house

00:22:26,346 --> 00:22:27,680

and see more naughty pictures

of his mom!

00:22:27,805 --> 00:22:29,390

Yeah.

- Knock it off, you guys!

00:22:29,515 --> 00:22:31,225

She said she was young

and needed the money!

00:22:31,351 --> 00:22:33,311

Cartman, those pictures were

taken, like, last month.

00:22:33,436 --> 00:22:36,272

[sputtering]

Screw you guys!

00:22:36,397 --> 00:22:39,734

♪♪

00:22:39,859 --> 00:22:43,529

[ominous music]

00:22:43,654 --> 00:22:45,114

[roars]

00:22:46,407 --> 00:22:47,617

Ugh!