Конъюнктивит — Наступает Хэллоуин и традиционный школьный конкурс костюмов. Кенни погибает, когда на него падает станция «Мир», и становится зомби, однако врач думает, что у него конъюнктивит. Кенни постепенно превращает в зомби всех жителей Южного Парка, и Кайлу приходится распилить его.

Предыдущая серия S01 E06 Смерть

Следующая серия S01 E08 Кошмарный Марвин

Конъюнктивит

Pinkeye

Сезон: 01Серия: 07

Описание

Наступает Хэллоуин и традиционный школьный конкурс костюмов. Кенни погибает, когда на него падает станция «Мир», и становится зомби, однако врач думает, что у него конъюнктивит. Кенни постепенно превращает в зомби всех жителей Южного Парка, и Кайлу приходится распилить его.

Субтитры

00:02:14,017 --> 00:02:17,177 — О боже! Они убили Кенни! — Вы сволочи!
00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:20,257 — Что это за фигня? — Похоже на НЛО
00:02:20,427 --> 00:02:22,687 Не существует никаких НЛО
00:02:24,597 --> 00:02:26,587 Давай отнесем его в морг
00:02:32,038 --> 00:02:35,668 Подождите до завтра, когда увидите мой костюм на Хэллоуин. Он охренен.
00:02:35,838 --> 00:02:41,038 — Чувак, он не может быть кручего моего — Мы должны идти домой и подготовить наши костюмы
00:02:49,658 --> 00:02:53,278 Я думаю, смерть ребенка не самая веселая вещь
00:02:53,458 --> 00:02:56,288 Даа, я понимаю о чем ты
00:02:57,828 --> 00:03:02,489 — Марти, ты обязательно должен мазать этим все? — Я не знаю, просто после него вкус становится таким английским
00:03:02,699 --> 00:03:05,169 Ну, оставим его стекать
00:03:11,170 --> 00:03:12,320 *Бальзамирующая жидкость*
00:03:21,249 --> 00:03:25,249 Ну так вот, некрофил говорит, "Если это не труп..."
00:03:28,189 --> 00:03:30,960 — Черт возьми, этот мелкий мудак укусил меня — Меня тоже
00:03:41,070 --> 00:03:43,560 — Ты выглядишь как педик — Заткнись, Кайл
00:03:43,740 --> 00:03:46,540 — Кем ты хотел быть? — Я Потертый Энди
00:03:46,750 --> 00:03:50,550 — Какого черты ты вообще оделся как Потертый Энди? — Венди будет Потертая Энн
00:03:50,750 --> 00:03:56,950 — Она сказала, что таким образом мы выиграем конкурс по костюмам — Не выиграете, чувак. Я выиграю его со своим офигенным костюмом Чубаки
00:03:57,120 --> 00:04:00,580 — Венди сказала, за первое место 2 тонны конфет дают — Уау, круто
00:04:00,790 --> 00:04:03,691 — Здорова, чуваки — Картман, что это за костюм?
00:04:03,901 --> 00:04:07,701 Это Адольф Гитлер. Зиг Хайль. Зиг Хайль
00:04:07,871 --> 00:04:10,461 — Где ты его достал? — Моя мама сделала. Разве это не круто?
00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:14,161 — Нет, это не круто! — Кайл, а кем ты должен был быть? Хауди Дуди?
00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:20,511 — Нет, я Потертый Энди, жиртрес — О, уау, ты классно выглядишь
00:04:20,681 --> 00:04:22,581 — Девчонка — Я надеру тебе зад, Картман
00:04:22,781 --> 00:04:28,351 — Эй берегитесь, Холли Хобби рассержена — Эй, смотрите, Кенни то не умер
00:04:28,521 --> 00:04:32,462 — Ты забыл одеть костюм, Кенни — В чем дело? Разве твоя семья не может позволить купить костюм для тебя?
00:04:32,632 --> 00:04:36,582 — Почему твоя семья настолько бедна, Кенни? — Семья Кенни настолько бедна...
00:04:36,762 --> 00:04:40,532 ...что вчера им пришлось повторно заложить свои картонные коробки
00:04:44,942 --> 00:04:50,642 Я сказал, что твой семье пришлось повторно заложить свои картонные коробки, Кенни
00:04:50,812 --> 00:04:53,402 Я с тобой говорю, Кенни! Ахтунг!
00:04:53,582 --> 00:04:54,982 Жалкий кусок говна
00:04:56,622 --> 00:05:00,552 — Давайте, мы опаздываем! — Мы все время опаздываем, уродливая шалава
00:05:00,722 --> 00:05:04,313 — Что ты сказал? — Я сказал, я однажды в океане плавал
00:05:04,963 --> 00:05:06,423 А я никогда
00:05:08,763 --> 00:05:11,663 — Очень интересно — Что такое, док?
00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:16,433 У вас температура всего 12 градусов, пульса нет, сердце не бьется
00:05:16,643 --> 00:05:20,943 — И глаза у вас отекшие и липкие — О нет, вы имеете в виду...
00:05:21,113 --> 00:05:24,513 Да, я боюсь, у вас ребята, коньюктивит
00:05:24,683 --> 00:05:27,343 Я дам вам нужные лекарства, но я не хочу к вам прикасаться
00:05:27,513 --> 00:05:31,783 Я так голоден, что я не могу думать о другом, кроме как о поедании мозгов
00:05:31,953 --> 00:05:35,944 Ради бога, не трогайте свои глаза. Я выпишу антибиотики
00:05:37,824 --> 00:05:42,784 Уже скоро все увидят мой офигенный костюм Чубакки. Они мне так позавидуют.
00:05:44,334 --> 00:05:46,264 — Уау, чувак! — Все оделись как Чуббака?
00:05:46,434 --> 00:05:50,064 Да похоже, что этот костюм очень популярный в этом году
00:05:52,204 --> 00:05:53,764 — Черт возьми! — Венди
00:05:53,974 --> 00:05:57,704 — Привет Стэн — Ты же сказала, что мы будем Потрепаные Энн и Энди
00:05:57,884 --> 00:06:00,814 — Даа — Мы хотели пойти на конкурс костюмов как пара
00:06:00,984 --> 00:06:05,615 Я знаю, но потом, похоже, я поняла как глупо мы будем смотреться
00:06:05,785 --> 00:06:08,985 — Ты что? — Я подумала, ты придешь к тем же заключениям...
00:06:09,195 --> 00:06:12,065 ...поэтому я оделась как Чуббака
00:06:13,095 --> 00:06:18,435 — Стэн, ты так привлекателен, что я бы тебя поцеловал — Аха, хочешь быть моей девушкой?
00:06:18,605 --> 00:06:22,595 Теперь видишь? Костюмчик мой оказался вполне зашибись.
00:06:22,775 --> 00:06:26,235 — Одеваться как Гитлер — это не зашибись. — Да ты ревнуешь.
00:06:26,415 --> 00:06:29,815 — Вали на свой Эндор, вуки! — Вуки не живут на Эндоре!
00:06:31,515 --> 00:06:34,276 Моя мама не появлялась на обложке журнала 'Обдолбанная шлюха'.
00:06:34,456 --> 00:06:38,386 — Что ты сказал? — Окей, Чубаки, рассаживайтесь..
00:06:38,986 --> 00:06:40,986 Раз уж сегодня Хэллоуин...
00:06:41,196 --> 00:06:44,996 нам следует узнать о писателе ужастиков Джеки Коллинзе.
00:06:45,166 --> 00:06:48,566 Так вот, Джеки Коллинз написал свой первый роман...
00:06:49,636 --> 00:06:51,866 Кенни, какая-то проблема?
00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:54,836 Давайте держать свои руки при себе, договорились?
00:06:56,246 --> 00:06:58,806 Я никогда не выиграю эту конфету.
00:07:08,057 --> 00:07:13,287 — Привет. Счастливого Хэллоуина. — Должен есть мозги.
00:07:14,057 --> 00:07:15,927 Мозги.
00:07:17,997 --> 00:07:21,397 О. Боже! Нет! Остановись!
00:07:21,967 --> 00:07:25,297 Я сделаю новый костюм. Я всё еще могу победить.
00:07:25,467 --> 00:07:28,027 Кенни, ты собираешься есть свой пуддинг?
00:07:28,207 --> 00:07:32,237 Нет, Эрик, можешь взять мой пуддинг, если хочешь.
00:07:32,407 --> 00:07:35,038 А что, спасибо, Кенни. Как мило с твоей стороны.
00:07:35,218 --> 00:07:37,188 Кенни, ты не голоден?
00:07:37,348 --> 00:07:40,518 — Он не двигается и ничего не отвечает. — Привет, детишки.
00:07:40,688 --> 00:07:42,248 Приветики, Шеф.
00:07:43,758 --> 00:07:47,718 — Что ты делаешь в этом костюме? — Ем пуддинг Кенни.
00:07:47,898 --> 00:07:50,888 Приветствую. Клевый костюм Элвиса, Шеф.
00:07:51,098 --> 00:07:55,328 Элвиса? Эвила Книвела, вообще-то. С какого хрена мне одеваться, как Элвис?
00:07:55,498 --> 00:07:59,838 С какого хрена тебе одеваться, как Эвил Книвел? Надеюсь, ты...
00:08:01,108 --> 00:08:03,808 Эрик, ты что делаешь?
00:08:03,978 --> 00:08:07,309 Он сказал, что я могу забрать его пуддинг. Спросите сами.
00:08:07,479 --> 00:08:13,009 Верно, директор Виктория. Ничего не имею против, т.к. Эрик клевый.
00:08:13,189 --> 00:08:19,059 — Где ты взял этот костюм? — Моя мама его cшила. Зиг Хайль. Зиг Хайль.
00:08:19,259 --> 00:08:23,819 Господи, благослови Америку. Марш в мой офис, пока тебя никто не видит.
00:08:23,999 --> 00:08:26,729 Я должна показать тебе образовательное видео.
00:08:26,899 --> 00:08:29,699 Не хочу я смотреть никакое образовательное видео.
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,270 — Ты укусил меня за руку! — Кенни пришел в себя.
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:39,640 — Смотри видео, Эрик. — Адольф Гитлер был мерзким типом.
00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:05,871 Так что помните, дети, одеваться, как Гитлер - это не клево.
00:09:06,041 --> 00:09:10,381 — У вас есть вопросы? — Я бы еще разок посмотрел, мне понравилось.
00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:15,811 — Ты должен снять этот костюм. — Не могу. Я должен выиграть конфету.
00:09:15,981 --> 00:09:19,891 Ну, а как насчет того, что мы сделаем новый костюм? Давай посмотрим...
00:09:20,791 --> 00:09:24,281 Как насчет сделать прикольный страшный костюм привидения?
00:09:24,461 --> 00:09:28,451 — Не хочу я быть тупым привидением. — Сейчас я сделаю буквально...
00:09:28,631 --> 00:09:34,191 ...несколько мелких изменений. Готово, молодой человек.
00:09:38,072 --> 00:09:42,602 Похоже, что они заразились этим коньюктивитом, о котором все говорят
00:09:47,222 --> 00:09:51,282 — Бу! Я привиденье — Вот блин, я чувствую себя полным говном
00:09:51,492 --> 00:09:54,722 Ой, ну хорошь Стен, может быть это так, потому что ты и есть полное говно
00:09:54,922 --> 00:09:58,762 — Здравствуйте, дети. — Привет, шеф.
00:09:59,402 --> 00:10:02,922 — Шеф сильно боится приведений, да? — Где Кайл?
00:10:03,232 --> 00:10:05,762 — Зацени. — Вау, чувак.
00:10:05,932 --> 00:10:08,203 — Что это? — Я солнечная система.
00:10:08,373 --> 00:10:12,003 Даже планеты вращаются в правильном направлении. Эта кучка конфет уже точно моя
00:10:12,443 --> 00:10:14,973 Хорошо, дети, давайте построимся, чтобы судьи...
00:10:15,143 --> 00:10:17,943 Могли посмотреть на ваши дурацкие костюмы
00:10:18,113 --> 00:10:24,383 Дети, в этом году у нас среди судей есть знаменитость: звезда сериала Семейные узы, мисс Тина Йотерс
00:10:24,553 --> 00:10:27,043 — Кто? — Чувак, я думал, она мертва. — Да, я тоже
00:10:27,223 --> 00:10:29,823 Спасибо, мисс Йотерс Итак...
00:10:29,993 --> 00:10:33,893 Второе место за лучший костюм уходит...
00:10:34,303 --> 00:10:38,164 Кенни, за его костюм Эдварда Джеймса Олмоса
00:10:39,644 --> 00:10:43,074 И победителем за лучший костюм становится...
00:10:44,174 --> 00:10:47,144 Венди, за ее костюм Чубакки
00:10:48,144 --> 00:10:53,384 Что? Но она же выглядит также и все остальные. Свали отсюда, Тина Йотерс!
00:10:53,554 --> 00:10:56,484 И награда за худший костюм достается...
00:10:56,694 --> 00:10:59,954 Стену, за его дурацкий, маленький клоунский костюм
00:11:00,164 --> 00:11:03,354 Давайте все направим пальцы на Стена и посмеемся, дети
00:11:03,834 --> 00:11:06,294 Спасибо большое, Венди, ты испортила мне Хеллоуин
00:11:06,464 --> 00:11:10,135 Расслабься, ты будешь чувствовать себя лучше когда мы выйдем на "Сладость или гадость"
00:11:10,305 --> 00:11:12,705 Я не хочу выпрашивать сладости с тобой. Ты соврала мне!
00:11:12,875 --> 00:11:16,175 Хорошо, дети. Давайте встанем в круг и будем вылавливать эти дурацкие яблоки
00:11:16,515 --> 00:11:18,705 Ты первая, Бебе
00:11:18,875 --> 00:11:22,075 Используй свои мышцы рта, как те девочки из Пекина
00:11:22,245 --> 00:11:23,685 Мозги!
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:26,945 Дождись своей очереди, Клайд
00:11:31,895 --> 00:11:34,695 Черт, Джонсон. Какого хрена это с тобой?
00:11:35,065 --> 00:11:37,425 Коньюктивит
00:11:37,595 --> 00:11:42,626 Отвали нахрен, Джонсон. Я не хочу заразиться долбаным коньюктивитом
00:11:43,106 --> 00:11:46,036 И президент ответил, сказав, цитирую:
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:49,976 "Нахер этих коммунистических ублюдков и нахер их паршивую космическую станцию"
00:11:50,146 --> 00:11:54,446 К другим новостям. Эпидемия коньюктивита распространяется в Южном Парке
00:11:54,616 --> 00:11:56,916 С прямым включением, карлик в бикини
00:11:57,086 --> 00:12:00,076 Спасибо, Том. Больше половины жителей города...
00:12:00,256 --> 00:12:02,656 были заражены этим вирусом
00:12:05,656 --> 00:12:09,097 Симптомы включают полную потерю функций сердца...
00:12:09,267 --> 00:12:12,567 легкие также перестают работать, и конечно же, липкие, опухшие глаза
00:12:12,737 --> 00:12:16,137 Коньюктивит мне в задницу. Я уже видел такое раньше
00:12:18,337 --> 00:12:21,207 Где, черт возьми, Кайл? Мы не можем его ждать целую ночь
00:12:21,377 --> 00:12:25,707 — Спорим, я соберу больше конфет, чем ты, чувак — Ты че с ума сошел? Я мастер по этой части
00:12:25,877 --> 00:12:28,717 Ты мастер по части задниц, есть разница
00:12:28,887 --> 00:12:32,287 Не я тут похож на Пеппи Длинный Чулок, разгуливающий целый день по улице
00:12:32,457 --> 00:12:35,787 Серьезно?! Ну хоть не моя мама на обложке журнала "Обдолбанная шлюха"
00:12:35,957 --> 00:12:39,398 Черт тебя дери, нет моей мамы на обложке журнала "Обдолбанная Шлюха"
00:12:39,568 --> 00:12:42,528 — Привет, ребят — О, ты пришел. Надо убедиться, что мы с собой все взяли
00:12:42,698 --> 00:12:44,028 — Фонарик? — Тут
00:12:44,198 --> 00:12:45,528 — Тыквенные ведра? — Тут
00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:47,038 — Электрошокер — Что это?
00:12:47,208 --> 00:12:49,608 Чтобы наказать людей, которые дадут нам гранолу или типа того
00:12:49,778 --> 00:12:51,638 Даа, гранола меня бесит
00:12:52,078 --> 00:12:53,268 Привет, Кенни
00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:58,278 — Ты воняешь! — Ты все еще не надел костюм, Кенни?
00:12:59,618 --> 00:13:02,378 Очень жаль, что за питье виски не платят...
00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:05,278 иначе отец Кенни был бы миллионером
00:13:05,458 --> 00:13:08,948 Я сказал, что твой отец был бы миллионером. Понял? Кенни!
00:13:09,128 --> 00:13:13,149 Твоя семья нищеброды, Кенни. Твоя семья нищеброды!
00:13:13,329 --> 00:13:16,789 Мне больше не нравится Кенни. Он просто не общается
00:13:18,069 --> 00:13:19,769 — Привет, ребята — Привет, Венди
00:13:19,939 --> 00:13:24,239 — Как там твоя бочка полная конфет? — Я не хочу так много сладкого
00:13:24,409 --> 00:13:27,339 Я отдала конфеты голодным детям из Найроби
00:13:27,509 --> 00:13:31,509 — Что ты сделала? Ты что, с ума сошла? — Пойдемте выпрашивать сладости
00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:34,579 Не думаю, что это хорошая идея, Венди На сегодня тебе достаточно конфет досталось
00:13:34,749 --> 00:13:40,060 Стен, мне ужасно жаль что тебе пришлось одеться как Потертый Энди. Пожалуйста, не злись
00:13:40,230 --> 00:13:42,960 Как он может злиться, с такими красивыми волосами и розовыми щечками?
00:13:43,130 --> 00:13:45,890 — Иди выправшивать сладости одна, Венди — Но, Стен...
00:13:46,060 --> 00:13:49,500 Никаких но, Венди. Я бы хотел, чтобы ты была мертва
00:13:54,070 --> 00:13:56,100 — Доктор — Ой. привет, Шеф
00:13:56,270 --> 00:14:01,410 — Дай угадаю, коньюктивит, верно? — Нет, доктор. Я уже видел такое раньше
00:14:01,580 --> 00:14:05,810 — Это никакой не коньюктивит. Это живые мертвецы — Какого хрена ты несешь?
00:14:05,980 --> 00:14:08,650 Сами подуймайте. Мертвые встают и разгуливают вокруг...
00:14:08,820 --> 00:14:12,451 ...и Тина Йотерс в городе.. Случайность? Не думаю!
00:14:12,621 --> 00:14:15,751 Шеф, мне кажется, вы немного бредите из-за коньюктивита
00:14:15,931 --> 00:14:19,661 — Давайте-ка я дам вам кое-какие кремы — Черт возьми! Разве не видите?
00:14:19,831 --> 00:14:25,631 Эти люди зомбированы. У них не бьется сердце, нет чувств. Я покажу
00:14:26,411 --> 00:14:30,571 Мистер Торрес был здесь для обычной проверки, Шеф
00:14:30,741 --> 00:14:36,081 Простите, но суть такая, что никакие кремы тут не помогут
00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:41,852 Было очень много хороших результатов использования этих кремов за последние несколько лет
00:14:42,022 --> 00:14:44,852 Доктор, кто был самым первым, кто пришел сюда с этим заболеванием
00:14:45,022 --> 00:14:49,822 Ну, это был работник похоронного бюро и его помощник из морга
00:14:53,832 --> 00:14:59,292 Потише, давайте встанем в очередь. Кремов хватит для всех
00:15:00,372 --> 00:15:02,502 Сладость или гадость
00:15:03,182 --> 00:15:05,672 Ой, как мило
00:15:08,552 --> 00:15:12,183 — Блин, Кенни — О Боже, звоните 911
00:15:12,383 --> 00:15:16,413 — Звоните 911 — Ну молодец, Кенни, она уже хотела дать нам конфет
00:15:16,593 --> 00:15:20,253 — У нее были "сникерсы" — Теперь ты мне должен "сникерс", мудак
00:15:22,233 --> 00:15:27,603 — Мэр, у нас тут большие проблемы — Чего? А Шеф, какой сюрприз
00:15:28,073 --> 00:15:32,973 Ты наверное удивлен увидев нас тут, с кучей денег и без штанов
00:15:33,143 --> 00:15:35,613 — Вообще то.. — Ну, я могу тебя уверить...
00:15:35,773 --> 00:15:39,213 это не имеет ничего общего с японской мафией
00:15:39,383 --> 00:15:42,314 — Вообще ничегошеньки — Да мне насрать
00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:47,984 — Нам нужно сделать что-то с ходячими мертвецами — Ты имеешь в виду Тину Йотерс?
00:15:49,764 --> 00:15:53,524 Нет! Черт побери! Я говорю про зомби, которые захватили весь Южный Парк
00:15:53,694 --> 00:15:59,154 Ну, Ивел Книвел, почему бы тебе не прыгать через них на своем реактивном мотоцикле?
00:16:00,634 --> 00:16:03,234 Ай да пошли вы оба
00:16:03,644 --> 00:16:06,104 — Ну, давай вернемся к этому — Да, точно
00:16:07,774 --> 00:16:08,764 Сладость или гадость!
00:16:08,944 --> 00:16:13,005 Надеюсь, вам ребята нравится профитроли начиненные арахисовым маслом и шоколадом..
00:16:13,185 --> 00:16:16,445 Убери это от меня!
00:16:21,755 --> 00:16:25,095 Черт побери! Мы никогда не получим конфет, если Кенни будет есть людей и дальше
00:16:25,265 --> 00:16:29,795 Аха, хватит, Кенни. Ты больше не выпрашиваешь сладостей с нами
00:16:30,305 --> 00:16:31,565 О боже мой!
00:16:33,535 --> 00:16:34,735 Сладость или гадость!
00:16:36,135 --> 00:16:39,375 Эй, они оделись как приведения, как и я
00:16:40,175 --> 00:16:42,806 Одна дешевая конфетка? Мелочные уроды!
00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:47,446 О боже мой! Остановитесь!
00:16:49,686 --> 00:16:51,156 Сладость или..
00:16:51,326 --> 00:16:54,816 Убирайтесь из моей земли, вы мозгожрущие зомби-ублюдки
00:16:54,996 --> 00:16:56,426 — Шеф, это мы — Шеф, нет
00:16:56,596 --> 00:16:59,356 Оу, извините ребятки. Я подумал, что вы одни из них
00:16:59,526 --> 00:17:04,156 — Можем мы теперь то получить конфет? — Черт побери, какого вообще хрена ты так вырядился?
00:17:04,366 --> 00:17:08,236 — Я пытаюсь выпросить сладостей, черт побери — Напомни мне, чтобы я потом надрал тебе зад
00:17:08,406 --> 00:17:11,736 А пока, заходите быстрее, пока зомби вас не схватили
00:17:12,206 --> 00:17:14,677 — О чем ты вообще говоришь, Шеф? — Зомби, детки
00:17:14,847 --> 00:17:20,077 Южный Парк просто переполнен живыми мертвецами. Разве вы не заметили ничего странного?
00:17:20,657 --> 00:17:23,247 Ну так, ничего такого. Кроме конечно того, что Кенни продолжает есть мозги людей
00:17:23,427 --> 00:17:27,947 Разве не видите? Кенни превратился в зомби, как и многие другие в этом городе
00:17:28,127 --> 00:17:31,057 — Это значит... — Если каждый превратился в зомби..
00:17:31,297 --> 00:17:34,597 Значит, не осталось людей, кто бы дал нам конфет
00:17:36,567 --> 00:17:39,197 — Шеф, ты должен помочь нам — Я работаю над этим
00:17:40,407 --> 00:17:43,337 — Куда мы пойдем? — Доктор сказал, что первые кого он лечил были...
00:17:43,507 --> 00:17:45,838 работник похоронного бюро и его помощник
00:17:46,078 --> 00:17:49,278 У меня предчувствие, что мы должны искать начало всего этого в морге
00:17:52,248 --> 00:17:53,238 Это был Кайл
00:17:54,359 --> 00:17:56,277 *Морг Южного Парка*
00:17:56,778 --> 00:17:59,468 — Я не уверен на счет всего этого, Шеф — Аха, мне страшно — Мне тоже
00:17:59,648 --> 00:18:03,708 Помни про конфеты, сфокусируся на конфетах
00:18:03,878 --> 00:18:08,288 — Что мы тут делаем, Шеф? — Просто ищем что нибудь подозрительное
00:18:08,458 --> 00:18:09,818 Я нашел
00:18:10,018 --> 00:18:12,488 — Что? — Видишь Картман, твоя мама действительно на обложке
00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:17,629 Мы говорили тебе, чувак
00:18:17,829 --> 00:18:20,129 Тебе лучше отдать мне это, Кайл
00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:22,389 Эй, Шеф, смотри
00:18:25,390 --> 00:18:25,438 *соус Вустершир*
00:18:25,439 --> 00:18:28,438 Осторожно! Не использовать в качестве бальзамирующей жидкости. Номер горячей линии *номер*
00:18:28,439 --> 00:18:32,969 — Мне нужно позвонить по этому номеру горячей линии — Коньюктивит
00:18:33,149 --> 00:18:36,839 Это паренек-британец. Он теперь маленький английский зомби
00:18:37,019 --> 00:18:39,579 Берегитесь, дети!
00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:51,460 Окей, Шеф. звони по номеру горячей линии. Шеф?
00:18:52,370 --> 00:18:54,100 Шеф!
00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:15,490 Валим отсюда
00:19:18,361 --> 00:19:22,161 — Мы должны позвонить по номеру горячей линии — Эй, вон там таксофон
00:19:22,331 --> 00:19:25,531 — Звони по номеру, Кайл — Но зомби подходят
00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:27,431 Мы их задержем
00:19:28,541 --> 00:19:31,101 Добро пожаловать в горячую линию Вустершира
00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:36,941 Для рецептов нажмите "1" Для продакт-плейсмент — "2"
00:19:37,241 --> 00:19:40,181 Если соус Вустершир был использован для бальзамирования, нажмите...
00:19:40,681 --> 00:19:44,671 Никто не испортит мой праздник выпрашивания сладостей и останется безноказанным
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:47,552 — Уау, круто — Класс
00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:57,162 Этот звонок может записываться для улучшения сервиса. Чем я могу вам поомочь?
00:19:57,332 --> 00:20:00,102 — Тут зомби ходят — Пожалуйста, подождите
00:20:08,812 --> 00:20:10,332 Венди
00:20:11,352 --> 00:20:14,782 — Кончай ее, чувак, она уже зомби — Я знаю, но...
00:20:14,952 --> 00:20:18,323 Помнишь как она с тобой обошлась на конкурсе костюмов?
00:20:18,493 --> 00:20:20,283 Эй, точно
00:20:21,493 --> 00:20:24,483 Обычная практика в этом случае, чтобы вы в ни в коем случае...
00:20:24,663 --> 00:20:30,563 ...не начали обезглавливать зомби направо и налево. Вы меня поняли? НЕ делайте этого
00:20:30,733 --> 00:20:32,323 Окей, а что потом?
00:20:33,033 --> 00:20:35,503 Венди, я понимаю мы посорились и я хотел чтобы ты сдохла
00:20:35,673 --> 00:20:38,073 — Но я все же не хотел этого — Убей ее, Стен
00:20:38,243 --> 00:20:41,303 Все что вам надо, это убить первоначального зомби. Того, который начал все это.
00:20:41,483 --> 00:20:44,573 А все остальные зомби преврататься в нормальных людей
00:20:44,753 --> 00:20:48,084 Откуда же мы узнаем кто этот первоначальный зомби?
00:20:48,254 --> 00:20:51,384 У вас есть выбор в Вустерширском сыре. Мы рады...
00:20:51,924 --> 00:20:56,384 Минуточку, эта штука упала на Кенни, и они увезли его в морг
00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:59,394 Я не могу
00:21:07,174 --> 00:21:10,864 О Боже мой, я убил Кенни. Ты сволочь!
00:21:12,074 --> 00:21:14,974 Что случилось? Стэн?
00:21:15,144 --> 00:21:19,645 — Милая, все будет в порядке — Они превращаются в нормальных
00:21:19,815 --> 00:21:23,755 — Вы это сделали, детки — Окей, пойдем теперь выпрашивать сладости
00:21:23,925 --> 00:21:27,155 Мне очень жаль, что я так поступила с тобой в школе, Стэн
00:21:27,325 --> 00:21:30,385 Похоже, что я не была очень внимательной к твоим чувствам
00:21:30,565 --> 00:21:33,155 Мне жаль, что я пожелал тебе смерти
00:21:33,335 --> 00:21:38,135 Может мы могли бы поцеловаться сегодня, Стен
00:21:41,035 --> 00:21:42,935 Отвратительно, Стен. Больной
00:21:43,605 --> 00:21:45,075 Блевотина отвратительна
00:21:50,526 --> 00:21:55,226 — Чувак, не могу поверить что его больше нет — Он был слишком молод, чтобы его забрали от нас вот так
00:21:55,396 --> 00:21:57,696 Это ты его порезал на пополам бензопилой
00:21:57,866 --> 00:22:03,666 Давайте будем помнить старые добрые времена. Кенни бы хотел этого...
00:22:06,606 --> 00:22:11,096 Я кое-что сегодня понял. Хэллоуин это не конфеты и костюмы
00:22:11,276 --> 00:22:14,336 Это о том, как быть хорошим, делиться и любить
00:22:14,516 --> 00:22:16,916 Не, чувак, это ты про Рождество
00:22:17,086 --> 00:22:21,077 — Тогда о чем же Хэллоуин? — Костюмы и конфеты
00:22:22,527 --> 00:22:24,547 Ну, пойдемте домой, есть эти конфеты
00:22:24,727 --> 00:22:27,747 Мы можем поесть у Картмана и за одно посмотрим пикантные фотки его мамы
00:22:27,927 --> 00:22:31,127 Завязывайте ребята. Она была молода и ей нужны были деньги
00:22:31,297 --> 00:22:34,897 Картман, этим фоткам не больше месяца
00:22:35,337 --> 00:22:37,637 Пошли вы ребята!
00:22:39,147 --> 00:22:41,637 Переведено на Нотабеноиде http://notabenoid.com/book/10656/241845
00:22:41,647 --> 00:22:42,637 Переводчики: Lendis, spaceship, tskim

00:00:04,046 --> 00:00:06,173 Howdy-haw, you South Park-eteers out there.
00:00:06,298 --> 00:00:07,675 Howdy-ho!
00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:09,218 I'm rootin'-tootin' Trey Parker.
00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:10,928 And I'm pistol-slingin' Matt Stone.
00:00:11,053 --> 00:00:12,221 This here's Old Scratch. Say hi, old fella.
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:13,806 Howdy, Scratch!
00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:15,599 Trey and I are right excited about now
00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:17,101 because this first episode of "South Park" is, well,
00:00:17,226 --> 00:00:18,811 our favorite episode.
00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:20,521 That's right, Matt. It's called "Pinkeye."
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,398 It originally aired as our Halloween special.
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,692 It's all about an epidemic going through "South Park"
00:00:24,817 --> 00:00:27,069 and the boys having to save the day.
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:29,155 Trey and I wanted to do an episode about disease,
00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:31,365 and well, we figured pinkeye was the right one.
00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:32,950 That's right.
00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:34,452 You know, pinkeye is a real disease.
00:00:34,577 --> 00:00:36,037 Anybody can get it.
00:00:36,162 --> 00:00:38,748 So kids, be careful who you been with.
00:00:38,873 --> 00:00:40,708 To fight this horrible disease,
00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:43,294 all proceeds from this video will go to pinkeye research.
00:00:43,419 --> 00:00:44,795 Yeah, right.
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,130 Right.
00:00:46,255 --> 00:00:47,673 We're not gonna give away money.
00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:49,467 Oh, look, it's our Indian friend,
00:00:49,592 --> 00:00:50,634 Indian Companion.
00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:51,677 Hello, Indian Companion.
00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:53,679 Someone coming.
00:00:58,142 --> 00:00:59,351 Thanks.
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:03,898 Anyway, all y'all sit back,
00:01:04,023 --> 00:01:06,025 relax, and enjoy...
00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:07,193 "Pinkeye."
00:01:07,318 --> 00:01:08,694 Hooray!
00:01:20,498 --> 00:01:21,874 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:23,876 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:25,586 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:27,129 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:28,589 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:30,424 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:01:30,549 --> 00:01:32,134 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:33,636 ♪ People spouting: "Howdy neighbor." ♪
00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:35,137 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:36,889 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:01:40,184 --> 00:01:41,560 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:43,354 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
00:01:54,365 --> 00:01:56,242 Graah! - Aieee!
00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:15,886 Oh, my God, they killed Kenny!
00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:17,304 You bastards!
00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:18,556 What the hell is that thing?
00:02:18,681 --> 00:02:19,932 It looks like a UFO.
00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:21,350 There's no such thing as UFOs.
00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:26,063 Let's get him to the morgue.
00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:33,404 Hey, wait till you guys see my Halloween
00:02:33,529 --> 00:02:35,531 costume tomorrow. It kicks ass.
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:36,991 Dude, it can't be cooler than mine.
00:02:37,116 --> 00:02:38,409 Hey, man, we ought to get home
00:02:38,534 --> 00:02:39,577 and get our Costumes ready.
00:02:49,211 --> 00:02:51,463 You know, I think death is least funny
00:02:51,589 --> 00:02:52,923 when it happens to a child.
00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:56,218 Oh, man, I know what you mean.
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,596 Marty, do you have to put that stuff on everything?
00:02:58,721 --> 00:03:01,098 I don't know, it just makes everything taste so...
00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:02,474 English.
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:03,726 Well, let's let him drain.
00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,620 So then the necrophiliac says,
00:03:22,745 --> 00:03:24,538 "If this ain't a cadaver, then I..."
00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:27,750 Hey! - Argh!
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,668 God damn, that little turd bit me!
00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:30,711 Me too!
00:03:40,638 --> 00:03:41,931 You look like a pansy.
00:03:42,056 --> 00:03:43,474 Shut up, Kyle!
00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:44,725 What--what are you supposed to be?!
00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,268 I'm Raggedy Andy.
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:47,561 Why the hell did you dress up
00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:49,021 like Raggedy Andy, dude?
00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:51,065 Wendy's going as Raggedy Anne.
00:03:51,190 --> 00:03:52,483 And she said this way we'd win the costume contest for sure.
00:03:52,608 --> 00:03:53,984 No way, dude.
00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:55,486 I'm gonna win the costume contest
00:03:55,611 --> 00:03:57,363 with this sweet Chewbacca costume!
00:03:57,488 --> 00:03:59,490 Wendy said that first prize is two tons of candy.
00:03:59,615 --> 00:04:00,491 Wow, cool!
00:04:00,616 --> 00:04:02,159 Hey, dudes.
00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:03,452 Cartman, what kind of costume is that?
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:05,537 It's Adolph Hitler costume.
00:04:05,663 --> 00:04:07,331 Sieg Heil! Sieg Heil!
00:04:07,456 --> 00:04:08,707 Where'd you get that?
00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:10,417 My mom made it. Isn't it cool?
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:12,169 No, it's not cool!
00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:14,046 What are you supposed to be, Stan? Howdy Doody?
00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:16,298 No, I'm Raggedy Andy, fat ass!
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:17,675 Oh. Wow.
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:18,926 You look pretty cool.
00:04:20,511 --> 00:04:21,595 Sissy.
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,347 I'll kick your ass, Kyle!
00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:25,266 Oh, look out! Holly Hobby's all pissed off.
00:04:25,391 --> 00:04:27,059 Hey, look. Kenny's not dead.
00:04:28,227 --> 00:04:29,270 You forgot to wear a costume, Kenny.
00:04:29,395 --> 00:04:31,021 Yeah, what's the matter?
00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:32,690 Couldn't your family afford a costume for you?
00:04:32,815 --> 00:04:34,275 Yeah, why is your family so poor, Kenny?
00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,151 Kenny's family is so poor
00:04:36,277 --> 00:04:39,154 that yesterday they had to put their cardboard box up
00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:40,406 for a second mortgage.
00:04:44,702 --> 00:04:47,621 I said, your family had to put a cardboard box up
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,415 for a second mortgage, Kenny!
00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:53,294 I'm talking to you, Kenny! Achtung!
00:04:53,419 --> 00:04:54,962 Poor piece of crap.
00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:58,340 Come on, we're running late!
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,426 Ah, we're always running late, you ugly skank.
00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:02,219 What did you say?!
00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:04,221 I said I can't wait to own a fishing tank.
00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:06,432 Oh. Neither can I.
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:11,520 Very interesting. - Wh-what is it, doc?
00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:14,523 Well, your temperature is only 55 degrees,
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,358 you have no pulse, no heartbeat,
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:19,278 and your--your eyes are all puffy and sticky.
00:05:19,403 --> 00:05:21,071 Oh, no. You mean...
00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:22,948 Yeah, I'm afraid the two of you have pinkeye.
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:25,951 I'd give you topical medicine,
00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:27,995 but I don't want to touch you.
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,830 Oh, I'm so hungry and all I can think about eating is...
00:05:29,955 --> 00:05:31,665 is brains!
00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:33,625 Yeah, well, for God's sake don't touch your eyes.
00:05:33,751 --> 00:05:35,461 I'll prescribe some antibiotics.
00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:39,673 Just wait till everyone sees my sweet Chewbacca costume.
00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:41,300 They're gonna be so jealous.
00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:46,013 Whoa, dude. - Everyone came as Chewbacca?!
00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:48,098 It sure does seem to be a popular costume
00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:49,975 this year, Kyle.
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:51,268 Rar.
00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:53,020 Damn it!
00:05:53,145 --> 00:05:54,897 Wendy? - Hi, Stan.
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,774 You said we were going to be Raggedy Anne and Andy.
00:05:56,899 --> 00:05:58,692 Remember? - Yeah.
00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:00,694 We were going to enter the costume contest as a pair.
00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:02,363 I know, but then
00:06:02,488 --> 00:06:03,864 I guess I just realized
00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:06,241 how stupid we would look. - You what?!
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:08,327 I thought you would reach the same conclusion,
00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:10,662 so I came as Chewbacca.
00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:13,791 Hey Stan,
00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:15,501 you look almost pretty enough to kiss.
00:06:15,626 --> 00:06:17,211 Yeah, you want to be my girlfriend?
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:20,589 Hey, you see? All of a sudden my costume
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,424 is pretty badass, huh?
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:25,010 Dude, dressing up like Hitler is not badass.
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:26,845 You're just jealous.
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:28,472 Why don't you go back to Endor, you stupid Wookie!
00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:29,681 Wookies don't live on Endor!
00:06:29,807 --> 00:06:31,308 Mimi ma mi mo momo!
00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:32,476 Well at least my mom's not on the cover
00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:33,685 of Crack Whore Magazine!
00:06:33,811 --> 00:06:35,604 What? What did you say?!
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:38,816 Okay now, all you little Chewbaccas take your seats.
00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:40,901 Children, since today is Halloween,
00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:42,528 I thought we should learn something about
00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:44,863 the great horror writer Jackie Collins.
00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:46,490 You see, when Jackie Collins
00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:48,325 first wrote her novel...
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:49,535 Ew!
00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:51,120 Is there a problem, Kenny?
00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:54,832 Let's try to keep our hands and arms to ourselves, okay?
00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:57,209 I'm never gonna win that two tons of candy
00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:59,461 looking like everybody else.
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:03,715 ♪ Ooh, I'm gonna decorate the house for Halloween ♪
00:07:03,841 --> 00:07:07,761 ♪ With scary ghosts and bats and creepy crawly things ♪
00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:10,556 Hello, there. Happy Halloween.
00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:13,183 Must... eat... brains.
00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:15,227 Brains!
00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:18,439 ♪ It's the most wonderful time of the year ♪
00:07:21,859 --> 00:07:23,694 I'm gonna make a new costume during recess.
00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:24,945 I can still win that candy.
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:26,363 Hey, Kenny.
00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:28,157 Are you gonna eat your pudding?
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:32,077 "No, Eric, go ahead and take my pudding if you like."
00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:33,579 Why, thank you, Kenny.
00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:34,913 How nice of you.
00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:36,165 Aren't you hungry, Kenny?
00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:39,001 He hasn't moved an inch or said anything.
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:40,335 Hello, children.
00:07:40,461 --> 00:07:41,670 Hey, Chef.
00:07:43,589 --> 00:07:45,924 What in the hell are you doing dressed up like that?
00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:47,593 Eating Kenny's pudding.
00:07:47,718 --> 00:07:49,052 Hello there, children.
00:07:49,178 --> 00:07:50,804 Oh, love the Elvis costume, Chef.
00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:53,140 Elvis? I'm Evel Knievel!
00:07:53,265 --> 00:07:55,142 Why the hell would I dress up like Elvis?
00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:57,311 Why the hell would you dress up like Evel Knievel?
00:07:57,436 --> 00:07:59,229 Anyway, I hope that you kids are--
00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:00,814 aaagh!
00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:02,399 Eric! God bless it.
00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:03,942 What do you think you're doing?
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:05,861 Hey, he said I could have his pudding.
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,362 Ask him yourself.
00:08:07,488 --> 00:08:09,907 "That's right, Principal Victoria.
00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:12,868 It's okay with me, 'cause Eric is cool."
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:15,245 Where did you get that costume, young man?
00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:16,371 My mom made it.
00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:18,457 Sieg heil! Sieg heil!
00:08:18,582 --> 00:08:20,751 Shh! Oh, God bless America.
00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:23,712 You get into my office before anyone else sees you.
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:26,131 I have to show you an educational video.
00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:29,676 I don't want to see an educational video.
00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:33,514 Ow! You bit my arm!
00:08:33,639 --> 00:08:35,140 Oh, good. Kenny's back to normal.
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,017 Watch the video, Eric.
00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:39,520 <i>Adolf Hitler was a very, very naughty man.</i>
00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:02,125 <i>So remember, kids,</i>
00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:04,044 <i>dressing up like Hitler in school</i>
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,712 <i>isn't cool.</i>
00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:08,048 Now, do you have any questions?
00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:10,217 Can I see that again? That was cool.
00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:12,886 You must remove that costume immediately.
00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:15,681 I can't. I have to win those two tons of candy.
00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:18,183 Well, how about we make you a new costume?
00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:20,060 Let's see now.
00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:21,895 Aha. Thought of something.
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:24,189 How about we make you a nice, scary ghost costume?
00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:26,692 I don't want to be a stupid scary ghost.
00:09:26,817 --> 00:09:30,445 And let me just make a few quickie alterations,
00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:32,781 and there you go, young man.
00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:39,371 Oh, looks like they got a touch of that pinkeye
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:40,664 that's going around.
00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:48,589 Boo. I'm a ghost.
00:09:48,714 --> 00:09:50,966 Oh, man, I feel like a total chode.
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,301 Aw, come on, Stan.
00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:53,510 Maybe that's just because
00:09:53,635 --> 00:09:54,761 you look like a total chode.
00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:56,305 Hello, children.
00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:57,472 Hey, Chef.
00:09:59,308 --> 00:10:01,351 Whoa, Chef's really scared of ghosts, huh?
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:02,811 Hey, where's Kyle?
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,479 Check this out.
00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:05,606 Whoa, dude.
00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:06,857 What is that?
00:10:06,982 --> 00:10:08,525 I'm the whole solar system.
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,027 The planets even all revolve the right way.
00:10:10,152 --> 00:10:11,570 That tub of candy is as good as mine.
00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:13,488 Okay, children.
00:10:13,614 --> 00:10:15,324 Let's get you lined up so the judge
00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:17,326 can get a good look at your stupid little costumes.
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:20,537 Children, this year we have a celebrity judge:
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:23,582 the star of "Family Ties," Miss Tina Yothers.
00:10:23,707 --> 00:10:24,875 Who?
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:25,959 Dude, I thought she was dead.
00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:27,127 Yeah, me too.
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:28,754 Thank you, Miss Yothers.
00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:32,591 Okay, the second-place award for best costume
00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:34,259 goes to...
00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:37,220 Kenny, for his Edward James Olmos costume!
00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:41,808 And the award for the very best costume
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,060 goes to...
00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:47,856 Wendy, for her Chewbacca costume.
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,859 What?! But she looks just like everybody else.
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,319 Up yours, Tina Yothers!
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,490 And the award for worst costume this year goes to...
00:10:56,615 --> 00:10:59,493 Stan, for his stupid little clown thing costume.
00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:01,578 Let's all point at Stan and laugh, children.
00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,705 Yeah.
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:04,790 Thanks a lot, Wendy.
00:11:04,915 --> 00:11:06,249 You ruined my Halloween.
00:11:06,375 --> 00:11:08,126 Relax, Stan.
00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:10,003 You'll feel better once we're out trick-or-treating.
00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:11,505 I don't want to trick-or-treat with you!
00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:13,590 You lied to me! Okay, children,
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:16,051 let's all gather round and bob for stupid apples now.
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,762 You go first, Bebe.
00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:20,639 That's good. Just use those mouth muscles
00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:21,932 like the girls in Beijing.
00:11:22,057 --> 00:11:23,517 Brains!
00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:26,937 Wait your turn, Clyde!
00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:32,609 Argh! Damn, Johnson.
00:11:32,734 --> 00:11:34,569 What the hell has gotten into you?
00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:37,280 Piiinnnkkk... eyyeee...
00:11:37,406 --> 00:11:38,990 Get the hell out of here, Johnson!
00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:41,827 I don't want no goddamn pinkeye!
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,247 <i>And the President responded to the incident by saying,</i>
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:47,332 <i>quote, "Screw those commie bastards,</i>
00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,876 <i>and screw their little wussy space station."</i>
00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:51,753 <i>In other news, a pinkeye epidemic</i>
00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:54,297 <i>is now sweeping the town of South Park.</i>
00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:56,758 <i>Here with a live report is a midget wearing a bikini.</i>
00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:59,094 <i>Thanks, Tom. Already more than half the townspeople</i>
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:00,762 <i>here in South Park have been infected</i>
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,514 <i>with the pinkeye virus.</i>
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,769 <i>Symptoms include a complete loss of heart functions,</i>
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,438 <i>blood pressure, lung activity,</i>
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:12,441 <i>and of course, sticky, puffy, eyes.</i>
00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:13,900 Pinkeye my ass.
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:16,111 I've seen this kind of thing before.
00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:19,573 Where the hell is Kyle?
00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:21,116 We don't have all night to wait for him.
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,909 I bet I get more candy than you, dude.
00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:24,286 Are you crazy?
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:25,662 I'm the Candy Master!
00:12:25,787 --> 00:12:26,997 No, no, you're the Ass Master.
00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:28,749 There's a difference.
00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:30,333 Hey! I'm not the one who walked around all day
00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:32,043 looking like Pippi Longstockings!
00:12:32,169 --> 00:12:34,087 Oh, yeah? Well at least my mom's not on the cover
00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:35,672 of Crack Whore Magazine.
00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:37,716 Goddammit! My mom is not on the cover
00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:39,259 of Crack Whore Magazine!
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:41,052 Hey, dudes. - Oh, good, you're here.
00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:42,471 Now, let's make sure we've got everything.
00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:43,889 Flashlight? - Check.
00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:45,390 Plastic pumpkin pails? - Check.
00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:47,058 Taser? - What's that?
00:12:47,184 --> 00:12:48,435 For shocking people who try to give us
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:49,686 granola treats or something.
00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:51,813 Yeah, granola pisses me off.
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,148 Hey, Kenny.
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:56,234 Whew! You stink, Kenny!
00:12:56,359 --> 00:12:58,278 You still didn't get a costume, Kenny?
00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:01,531 Eh, too bad drinking Scotch isn't a paying job,
00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:03,825 or else Kenny's dad would be a millionaire.
00:13:05,327 --> 00:13:07,621 I said your dad would be a millionaire, Kenny!
00:13:07,746 --> 00:13:10,624 Kenny! Your family is poor, Kenny!
00:13:10,749 --> 00:13:12,167 Your family's poor!
00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:14,961 I don't like Kenny anymore.
00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:17,756 He just doesn't communicate.
00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:19,800 Hi, guys. - Hi, Wendy.
00:13:19,925 --> 00:13:21,510 How's your barrel full of candy, Wendy?
00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:24,095 Oh, I didn't want all that sweet stuff.
00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:27,057 I gave it away to hungry children in Nairobi.
00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:29,684 You what?! Are you insane?!
00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:31,353 Let's go trick-or-treats!
00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:33,063 I don't think so, Wendy.
00:13:33,188 --> 00:13:35,148 I think you've had enough candy for one day.
00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:38,401 Stan, I'm awful sorry you got dressed up like Raggedy Andy.
00:13:38,527 --> 00:13:40,403 Please don't be mad.
00:13:40,529 --> 00:13:42,614 How can he be mad with such pretty hair and rosy cheeks?
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:44,491 Trick-or-treat with yourself, Wendy!
00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:46,743 But Stan... - No buts, Wendy.
00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:47,953 I wish you were dead!
00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:56,086 Doctor! - Why hello, Chef.
00:13:56,211 --> 00:13:57,879 Let me guess--pinkeye, right?
00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,673 No. No, Doctor.
00:13:59,798 --> 00:14:01,383 I've seen this type of thing before.
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,844 This ain't no pinkeye. It's the Living Dead.
00:14:03,969 --> 00:14:05,679 What the hell are you talking about?
00:14:05,804 --> 00:14:07,389 Think about it.
00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:08,765 Dead people getting up and walking around...
00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,267 and Tina Yothers come to town?
00:14:10,392 --> 00:14:12,310 Coincidence? Oh, I don't think so.
00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:14,479 Chef, I think maybe the pinkeye has made you
00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:15,981 a little delirious.
00:14:16,106 --> 00:14:18,066 Let me give you some topical cream.
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,734 Damn it, don't you see?
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:21,319 These people have been zombified!
00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:23,071 They got no heartbeat, no feeling--
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,364 I'll show you.
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:29,202 Uh, Mr. Torres was here for a routine checkup, Chef.
00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:31,788 Oh, sorry.
00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:33,665 But my point is
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,959 that topical cream ain't gonna fix what's wrong here!
00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:39,087 Hey now, now there have been a lot of incredible advances
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,590 in topical creams over the last few years.
00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:43,800 Doctor, who was the first person to come in here
00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:45,260 with the sickness?
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,012 Well, uh, it was the mortician
00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:48,972 and his assistant at the morgue, yeah.
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,812 Now, now, fellas, let's form a line.
00:14:55,937 --> 00:14:58,398 I've got enough topical cream for everybody.
00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:01,318 Trick-or-treat!
00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:05,655 Oh, how cute.
00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:09,034 Dude, Kenny!
00:15:09,159 --> 00:15:12,037 Oh, my God! Call 911!
00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:14,706 Call 911! Nice going, Kenny.
00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:16,249 She was about to give us candy!
00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:18,001 Yeah! She had Sweetie Pops!
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,211 You owe me a Sweetie Pop, asshole!
00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:24,591 Mayor, we've got a big problem.
00:15:24,716 --> 00:15:28,094 Why-why Chef, what a surprise.
00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:30,221 You're probably wondering why we're standing here
00:15:30,347 --> 00:15:32,849 with a pile of money and no pants on.
00:15:32,974 --> 00:15:33,892 Actually, uh--
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:35,393 Well, I can assure you
00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:37,020 that it has absolutely nothing
00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:39,105 to do with the Japanese Mafia.
00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:41,066 Not a thingy-dingy.
00:15:41,191 --> 00:15:42,776 I don't really give a crap.
00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:44,444 We've got to do something about the Living Dead!
00:15:44,569 --> 00:15:46,321 You mean Tina Yothers?
00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:51,451 No, dammit! I'm talking about the zombies
00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:53,370 that have taken over South Park!
00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:56,081 Well, Evel Knievel, why don't you jump over them
00:15:56,206 --> 00:15:57,666 with your rocket cycle?
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,087 Aw, to hell with you both!
00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:05,966 Well, let's get back to it. - Righty-o.
00:16:06,091 --> 00:16:08,969 Trick-or-treat!
00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:11,805 Hope you kids like chocolate peanut butter cream puffies.
00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:14,808 Get it off! Get it off me!
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:23,441 Dammit! We'll never get any candy
00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:25,193 if Kenny keeps eating people!
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:26,778 Yeah! That's it, Kenny!
00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:28,613 You can't trick-or-treat with us anymore!
00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:31,449 Oh, God!
00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:34,703 Trick-or-treat.
00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:39,207 Hey, they're all dressed up like ghosts too.
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:42,669 One Tootie bar? You cheap bastards!
00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:51,636 Trick-or--aaargh!
00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:54,681 Get off my property you brain eatin' zombie bastards!
00:16:54,806 --> 00:16:56,599 No, Chef, No!
00:16:56,725 --> 00:16:58,935 Oh, sorry children, I thought you were one of them!
00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:01,062 Can we have some candy now, please?
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:04,024 Dammit boy, what the hell are you doing dressed up like that?
00:17:04,149 --> 00:17:05,942 I'm trying to trick-or-treat, goddammit!
00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:08,194 Remind me to whoop your ass good next time I see you.
00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:10,530 Now get in here before those zombies get you.
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:13,575 What are you talking about, Chef?
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:15,827 Zombies, children. South Park is overrun
00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:17,537 with the Living Dead.
00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:20,582 Haven't you noticed anything strange lately?
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:22,042 Well, not really, except that Kenny keeps
00:17:22,167 --> 00:17:23,126 eating people's brains.
00:17:23,251 --> 00:17:24,669 Don't you children see?
00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:26,129 Kenny's turned into a zombie,
00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:27,756 along with everyone else in town.
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,299 Oh, my God. That means...
00:17:29,424 --> 00:17:31,134 If everyone has turned into zombies...
00:17:31,259 --> 00:17:34,429 Then there won't be anyone to give us candy!
00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:37,557 Chef! You've got to help us!
00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:39,142 I'm working on it, children.
00:17:40,185 --> 00:17:41,728 Wait, where are we going?
00:17:41,853 --> 00:17:43,271 The doctor said the first people he treated
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,607 were the mortician and his assistant.
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:48,109 Now, I've got a hunch we'll get to the bottom of this
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:49,110 at the morgue.
00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:53,198 It was Kyle.
00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:58,078 I don't know about this, Chef.
00:17:58,203 --> 00:17:59,579 Yeah, I'm scared.
00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:03,792 Remember candy. Focus on the candy.
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:05,418 What are we doing here, Chef?
00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:08,046 Just look for anything suspicious.
00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:09,881 I found it! I found it!
00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:11,508 What? See, Cartman?
00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,718 Your mom is on the cover.
00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:16,346 We told you, dude.
00:18:18,223 --> 00:18:20,225 You better let me take that, Kyle.
00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:22,435 Hey, Chef, look.
00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:30,777 I got to call this hotline number, children.
00:18:30,902 --> 00:18:32,904 Piiink eyyyeee.
00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:34,280 It's the British kid!
00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:35,740 He's a little limey zombie now!
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:38,201 Look out, children!
00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:47,961 Ow! Oh, God!
00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:49,504 Okay, Chef, dial the hotline number!
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:52,257 Chef?
00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:53,341 Chef!
00:18:55,093 --> 00:18:56,970 ♪ I'm gonna make love ♪
00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:59,264 ♪ Even when I'm dead ♪
00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:01,182 ♪ My body might get cold ♪
00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:03,393 ♪ But it's always hot in my bed ♪
00:19:03,518 --> 00:19:05,311 ♪ Make love ♪
00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:07,063 ♪ Don't you be afraid ♪
00:19:07,188 --> 00:19:09,274 ♪ Just because my heart ain't beating ♪
00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:11,818 ♪ It don't mean you won't get laid ♪
00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:13,945 ♪ Yee-hee! ♪
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:15,572 Let's get out of here!
00:19:15,697 --> 00:19:18,241 Ohhhh!
00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:20,535 We gotta call that Worcestershire sauce hotline!
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:22,245 Hey, there's a payphone!
00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:23,580 You call the number, Kyle.
00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:24,581 But the zombies are coming!
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:27,125 We'll hold them off.
00:19:28,585 --> 00:19:29,669 <i>Welcome to the Worcestershire sauce</i>
00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:31,629 <i>customer service hotline.</i>
00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:32,922 <i>For Worcestershire sauce recipes, please press 1</i>
00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:34,716 <i>followed by the pound sign.</i>
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:35,925 <i>For Worcestershire sauce product placement,</i>
00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:37,886 <i>please press 2.</i>
00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:39,220 <i>If Worcestershire sauce has been used as embalming,</i>
00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:40,763 <i>please press--</i>
00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:42,390 Nobody screws up my trick-or-treats
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:43,725 and gets away with it!
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,603 Yeah, cool!
00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:47,729 Sweet!
00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:53,401 <i>Worcestershire sauce emergency hotline.</i>
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,153 <i>This call might be monitored</i>
00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:56,279 <i>to ensure you the highest quality service.</i>
00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:57,614 <i>How may I help you?</i>
00:19:57,739 --> 00:19:58,656 There's a bunch of zombies here!
00:19:58,781 --> 00:20:00,158 <i>Please hold.</i>
00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:09,834 Wendy?
00:20:11,586 --> 00:20:13,296 Finish her, dude. She's a zombie now.
00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:14,547 I know, but...
00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:16,466 But-- - Come on, Stan!
00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:18,301 Remember how she dissed you at the costume contest?
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:19,594 Hey, yeah!
00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:23,097 <i>With the regular sauce, the first thing you need to do</i>
00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:24,474 is make sure that you do not just go out
00:20:24,599 --> 00:20:25,975 and start decapitating zombies
00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:27,727 left and right, do you understand?
00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:30,313 Do not start decapitating zombies left and right!
00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:32,065 Uh, okay. Then what?
00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:34,776 Wendy, I know we had a fight,
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:36,319 and I did wish you were dead,
00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:38,446 but I didn't mean it. Kill her, Stan!
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:39,989 All you have to do is kill the original zombie,
00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:41,491 the one that started the whole mess.
00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:43,201 Once you kill the original zombie,
00:20:43,326 --> 00:20:44,619 all the other zombies will turn back to normal.
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,621 Original zombie?
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:48,581 Well, how the hell do we know who the original zombie is?
00:20:48,706 --> 00:20:50,166 We realize you have a choice in Worcestershire sauces.
00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:51,793 We are delighted that--
00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:53,002 Wait a minute.
00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:54,629 That thing landed on Kenny.
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,422 And they took him to the mortuary.
00:20:57,632 --> 00:20:58,675 I--I can't.
00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:09,102 Oh, my God! I killed Kenny!
00:21:09,227 --> 00:21:10,937 You bastard!
00:21:11,062 --> 00:21:13,398 Oh... What happened?
00:21:13,523 --> 00:21:16,150 Stan? - Don't worry, babe.
00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:17,944 Everything's gonna be okay.
00:21:18,069 --> 00:21:19,737 It's working. They're turning back to normal.
00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:21,572 You did it, children!
00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:22,699 Okay, let's go trick-or-treating now.
00:21:22,824 --> 00:21:24,450 Come on.
00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:26,911 I'm sorry I dissed you at school like that, Stan.
00:21:27,036 --> 00:21:30,456 I guess I just wasn't very considerate of your feelings.
00:21:30,581 --> 00:21:33,209 That's okay, Wendy. I'm sorry I wished you were dead.
00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:38,172 Maybe we could actually kiss tonight, Stan.
00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:42,051 Ew, gross, Stan!
00:21:42,176 --> 00:21:45,138 Sick! Barf is gross!
00:21:50,518 --> 00:21:52,729 Oh, man. I can't believe he's gone.
00:21:52,854 --> 00:21:54,981 Yeah, he was too young to be taken from us.
00:21:55,106 --> 00:21:56,983 Dude, you're the one who cut him in half with a chainsaw.
00:21:57,108 --> 00:21:59,527 Let us remember the good times.
00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:02,030 Kenny would have wanted it that way.
00:22:06,701 --> 00:22:08,202 You know, I've really learned something today.
00:22:08,328 --> 00:22:10,955 Halloween isn't about costumes or candy.
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:12,582 It's about being good to one another
00:22:12,707 --> 00:22:14,125 and giving and loving.
00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:16,294 No, dude, that's Christmas.
00:22:16,419 --> 00:22:18,421 Oh. Then what's Halloween about?
00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:20,381 Costumes and candy. - Oh.
00:22:22,300 --> 00:22:24,552 Well, let's get home and start eating that candy.
00:22:24,677 --> 00:22:26,220 We can eat it at Cartman's house
00:22:26,346 --> 00:22:27,680 and see more naughty pictures of his mom!
00:22:27,805 --> 00:22:29,390 Yeah. - Knock it off, you guys!
00:22:29,515 --> 00:22:31,225 She said she was young and needed the money!
00:22:31,351 --> 00:22:33,311 Cartman, those pictures were taken, like, last month.
00:22:33,436 --> 00:22:36,272 Screw you guys!
00:22:46,407 --> 00:22:47,617 Ugh!

00:00:04,046 --> 00:00:06,173 Howdy-haw, you South Park-eteers out there.
00:00:06,298 --> 00:00:07,675 Children: Howdy-ho!
00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:09,218 I'm rootin'-tootin' Trey Parker.
00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:10,928 And I'm pistol-slingin' Matt Stone.
00:00:11,053 --> 00:00:12,221 This here's Old Scratch. Say hi, old fella.
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:13,806 Children: Howdy, Scratch!
00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:15,599 Trey and I are right excited about now
00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:17,101 because this first episode of "South Park" is, well,
00:00:17,226 --> 00:00:18,811 our favorite episode.
00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:20,521 That's right, Matt. It's called "Pinkeye."
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,398 It originally aired as our Halloween special.
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,692 It's all about an epidemic going through "South Park"
00:00:24,817 --> 00:00:27,069 and the boys having to save the day.
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:29,155 Trey and I wanted to do an episode about disease,
00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:31,365 and well, we figured pinkeye was the right one.
00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:32,950 That's right.
00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:34,452 You know, pinkeye is a real disease.
00:00:34,577 --> 00:00:36,037 Anybody can get it.
00:00:36,162 --> 00:00:38,748 So kids, be careful who you been with.
00:00:38,873 --> 00:00:40,708 To fight this horrible disease,
00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:43,294 all proceeds from this video will go to pinkeye research.
00:00:43,419 --> 00:00:44,795 [scoffs] Yeah, right.
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,130 Right.
00:00:46,255 --> 00:00:47,673 We're not gonna give away money.
00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:49,467 Oh, look, it's our Indian friend,
00:00:49,592 --> 00:00:50,634 Indian Companion.
00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:51,677 Hello, Indian Companion.
00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:53,679 Someone coming.
00:00:58,142 --> 00:00:59,351 Thanks.
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:03,898 Anyway, all y'all sit back,
00:01:04,023 --> 00:01:06,025 relax, and enjoy...
00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:07,193 "Pinkeye."
00:01:07,318 --> 00:01:08,694 children: Hooray!
00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:10,362 [applause]
00:01:17,036 --> 00:01:20,372 <i>[woman shrieks]</i>
00:01:20,498 --> 00:01:21,874 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:23,876 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:25,586 all: ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:27,129 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:28,589 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:30,424 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:01:30,549 --> 00:01:32,134 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:33,636 ♪ People spouting: "Howdy neighbor!" ♪
00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:35,137 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:36,889 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:40,059 [singing indistinctly]
00:01:40,184 --> 00:01:41,560 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:43,354 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:50,611 <i>[celestial music]</i>
00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:54,240 [speaking Russian]
00:01:54,365 --> 00:01:56,242 Graah! - Aieee!
00:01:56,367 --> 00:01:57,785 [speaking Russian]
00:02:01,956 --> 00:02:03,624 [alarm blaring]
00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:11,799 [smash]
00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:15,886 Oh, my God, they killed Kenny!
00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:17,304 You bastards!
00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:18,556 What the hell is that thing?
00:02:18,681 --> 00:02:19,932 It looks like a UFO.
00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:21,350 There's no such thing as UFOs.
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:24,061 [sirens]
00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:26,063 Let's get him to the morgue.
00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:33,404 Hey, wait till you guys see my Halloween
00:02:33,529 --> 00:02:35,531 costume tomorrow. It kicks ass.
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:36,991 Dude, it can't be cooler than mine.
00:02:37,116 --> 00:02:38,409 Hey, man, we ought to get home
00:02:38,534 --> 00:02:39,577 and get our Costumes ready.
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:44,373 <i>[eerie music]</i>
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:49,086 ♪♪
00:02:49,211 --> 00:02:51,463 You know, I think death is least funny
00:02:51,589 --> 00:02:52,923 when it happens to a child.
00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:56,218 Oh, man, I know what you mean.
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,596 Marty, do you have to put that stuff on everything?
00:02:58,721 --> 00:03:01,098 I don't know, it just makes everything taste so...
00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:02,474 English.
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:03,726 Well, let's let him drain.
00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:20,826 <i>[ominous music]</i>
00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,620 So then the necrophiliac says,
00:03:22,745 --> 00:03:24,538 "If this ain't a cadaver, then I..."
00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:27,750 Hey! - Argh!
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,668 God damn, that little turd bit me!
00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:30,711 Me too!
00:03:30,836 --> 00:03:32,880 [owl hooting]
00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:40,512 <i>[twangy music]</i>
00:03:40,638 --> 00:03:41,931 [laughs] You look like a pansy.
00:03:42,056 --> 00:03:43,474 Shut up, Kyle!
00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:44,725 What--what are you supposed to be?!
00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,268 I'm Raggedy Andy.
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:47,561 [laughs] Why the hell did you dress up
00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:49,021 like Raggedy Andy, dude?
00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:51,065 Wendy's going as Raggedy Anne.
00:03:51,190 --> 00:03:52,483 And she said this way we'd win the costume contest for sure.
00:03:52,608 --> 00:03:53,984 No way, dude.
00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:55,486 I'm gonna win the costume contest
00:03:55,611 --> 00:03:57,363 with this sweet Chewbacca costume!
00:03:57,488 --> 00:03:59,490 Wendy said that first prize is two tons of candy.
00:03:59,615 --> 00:04:00,491 Wow, cool!
00:04:00,616 --> 00:04:02,159 Hey, dudes.
00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:03,452 Cartman, what kind of costume is that?
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:05,537 It's Adolph Hitler costume.
00:04:05,663 --> 00:04:07,331 Sieg Heil! Sieg Heil!
00:04:07,456 --> 00:04:08,707 Where'd you get that?
00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:10,417 My mom made it. Isn't it cool?
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:12,169 No, it's not cool!
00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:14,046 What are you supposed to be, Stan? Howdy Doody?
00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:16,298 No, I'm Raggedy Andy, fat ass!
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:17,675 Oh. Wow.
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:18,926 You look pretty cool.
00:04:19,051 --> 00:04:20,386 [laughter]
00:04:20,511 --> 00:04:21,595 Sissy.
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,347 I'll kick your ass, Kyle!
00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:25,266 Oh, look out! Holly Hobby's all pissed off.
00:04:25,391 --> 00:04:27,059 Hey, look. Kenny's not dead.
00:04:28,227 --> 00:04:29,270 You forgot to wear a costume, Kenny.
00:04:29,395 --> 00:04:31,021 Yeah, what's the matter?
00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:32,690 Couldn't your family afford a costume for you?
00:04:32,815 --> 00:04:34,275 Yeah, why is your family so poor, Kenny?
00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,151 Kenny's family is so poor
00:04:36,277 --> 00:04:39,154 that yesterday they had to put their cardboard box up
00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:40,406 for a second mortgage.
00:04:40,531 --> 00:04:42,283 [laughs]
00:04:44,702 --> 00:04:47,621 I said, your family had to put a cardboard box up
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,415 for a second mortgage, Kenny!
00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:53,294 I'm talking to you, Kenny! Achtung!
00:04:53,419 --> 00:04:54,962 Poor piece of crap.
00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:58,340 Come on, we're running late!
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,426 Ah, we're always running late, you ugly skank.
00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:02,219 What did you say?!
00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:04,221 I said I can't wait to own a fishing tank.
00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:06,432 Oh. Neither can I.
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:11,520 Very interesting. - Wh-what is it, doc?
00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:14,523 Well, your temperature is only 55 degrees,
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,358 you have no pulse, no heartbeat,
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:19,278 and your--your eyes are all puffy and sticky.
00:05:19,403 --> 00:05:21,071 Oh, no. You mean...
00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:22,948 Yeah, I'm afraid the two of you have pinkeye.
00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:24,366 [both gasp]
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:25,951 I'd give you topical medicine,
00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:27,995 but I don't want to touch you.
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,830 Oh, I'm so hungry and all I can think about eating is...
00:05:29,955 --> 00:05:31,665 is brains!
00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:33,625 Yeah, well, for God's sake don't touch your eyes.
00:05:33,751 --> 00:05:35,461 I'll prescribe some antibiotics.
00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:39,673 Just wait till everyone sees my sweet Chewbacca costume.
00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:41,300 They're gonna be so jealous.
00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:46,013 Whoa, dude. - Everyone came as Chewbacca?!
00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:48,098 It sure does seem to be a popular costume
00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:49,975 this year, Kyle.
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:51,268 Rar.
00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:53,020 Damn it!
00:05:53,145 --> 00:05:54,897 Wendy? - Hi, Stan.
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,774 You said we were going to be Raggedy Anne and Andy.
00:05:56,899 --> 00:05:58,692 Remember? - Yeah.
00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:00,694 We were going to enter the costume contest as a pair.
00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:02,363 I know, but then
00:06:02,488 --> 00:06:03,864 I guess I just realized
00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:06,241 how stupid we would look. - You what?!
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:08,327 I thought you would reach the same conclusion,
00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:10,662 so I came as Chewbacca.
00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:13,791 [laughter] - Hey Stan,
00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:15,501 you look almost pretty enough to kiss.
00:06:15,626 --> 00:06:17,211 Yeah, you want to be my girlfriend?
00:06:17,336 --> 00:06:18,879 [laughter]
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:20,589 Hey, you see? All of a sudden my costume
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,424 is pretty badass, huh?
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:25,010 Dude, dressing up like Hitler is not badass.
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:26,845 You're just jealous.
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:28,472 Why don't you go back to Endor, you stupid Wookie!
00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:29,681 Wookies don't live on Endor!
00:06:29,807 --> 00:06:31,308 Mimi ma mi mo momo!
00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:32,476 Well at least my mom's not on the cover
00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:33,685 of Crack Whore Magazine!
00:06:33,811 --> 00:06:35,604 What? What did you say?!
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:38,816 Okay now, all you little Chewbaccas take your seats.
00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:40,901 Children, since today is Halloween,
00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:42,528 I thought we should learn something about
00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:44,863 the great horror writer Jackie Collins.
00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:46,490 You see, when Jackie Collins
00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:48,325 first wrote her novel...
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:49,535 Ew!
00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:51,120 Is there a problem, Kenny?
00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:54,832 Let's try to keep our hands and arms to ourselves, okay?
00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:57,209 I'm never gonna win that two tons of candy
00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:59,461 looking like everybody else.
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:03,715 ♪ Ooh, I'm gonna decorate the house for Halloween ♪
00:07:03,841 --> 00:07:07,761 ♪ With scary ghosts and bats and creepy crawly things ♪
00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:10,556 Hello, there. Happy Halloween.
00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:13,183 Must... eat... brains.
00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:15,227 Brains!
00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:18,439 ♪ It's the most wonderful time of the year ♪
00:07:18,564 --> 00:07:21,358 [humming]
00:07:21,859 --> 00:07:23,694 I'm gonna make a new costume during recess.
00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:24,945 I can still win that candy.
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:26,363 Hey, Kenny.
00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:28,157 Are you gonna eat your pudding?
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:32,077 "No, Eric, go ahead and take my pudding if you like."
00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:33,579 Why, thank you, Kenny.
00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:34,913 How nice of you.
00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:36,165 Aren't you hungry, Kenny?
00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:39,001 He hasn't moved an inch or said anything.
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:40,335 Hello, children.
00:07:40,461 --> 00:07:41,670 both: Hey, Chef.
00:07:43,589 --> 00:07:45,924 What in the hell are you doing dressed up like that?
00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:47,593 Eating Kenny's pudding.
00:07:47,718 --> 00:07:49,052 Hello there, children.
00:07:49,178 --> 00:07:50,804 Oh, love the Elvis costume, Chef.
00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:53,140 Elvis? I'm Evel Knievel!
00:07:53,265 --> 00:07:55,142 Why the hell would I dress up like Elvis?
00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:57,311 Why the hell would you dress up like Evel Knievel?
00:07:57,436 --> 00:07:59,229 Anyway, I hope that you kids are--
00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:00,814 aaagh!
00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:02,399 Eric! God bless it.
00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:03,942 What do you think you're doing?
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:05,861 Hey, he said I could have his pudding.
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,362 Ask him yourself.
00:08:07,488 --> 00:08:09,907 "That's right, Principal Victoria.
00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:12,868 It's okay with me, 'cause Eric is cool."
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:15,245 Where did you get that costume, young man?
00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:16,371 My mom made it.
00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:18,457 Sieg heil! Sieg heil!
00:08:18,582 --> 00:08:20,751 Shh! Oh, God bless America.
00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:23,712 You get into my office before anyone else sees you.
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:26,131 I have to show you an educational video.
00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:29,676 [whimpers] I don't want to see an educational video.
00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:33,514 Ow! You bit my arm!
00:08:33,639 --> 00:08:35,140 Oh, good. Kenny's back to normal.
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,017 Watch the video, Eric.
00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:39,520 <i>Adolf Hitler was a very, very naughty man.</i>
00:08:39,645 --> 00:08:43,273 <i>[speaking German]</i>
00:08:52,324 --> 00:08:54,785 [speaking German]
00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:02,125 <i>So remember, kids,</i>
00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:04,044 <i>dressing up like Hitler in school</i>
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,712 <i>isn't cool.</i>
00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:08,048 Now, do you have any questions?
00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:10,217 Can I see that again? That was cool.
00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:12,886 You must remove that costume immediately.
00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:15,681 I can't. I have to win those two tons of candy.
00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:18,183 Well, how about we make you a new costume?
00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:20,060 Let's see now.
00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:21,895 Aha. Thought of something.
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:24,189 How about we make you a nice, scary ghost costume?
00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:26,692 I don't want to be a stupid scary ghost.
00:09:26,817 --> 00:09:30,445 And let me just make a few quickie alterations,
00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:32,781 and there you go, young man.
00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:39,371 Oh, looks like they got a touch of that pinkeye
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:40,664 that's going around.
00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:42,165 [groaning]
00:09:42,291 --> 00:09:45,168 [screaming]
00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:48,589 Boo. I'm a ghost.
00:09:48,714 --> 00:09:50,966 Oh, man, I feel like a total chode.
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,301 Aw, come on, Stan.
00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:53,510 Maybe that's just because
00:09:53,635 --> 00:09:54,761 you look like a total chode.
00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:56,305 Hello, children.
00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:57,472 Hey, Chef.
00:09:57,598 --> 00:09:59,182 [screams]
00:09:59,308 --> 00:10:01,351 Whoa, Chef's really scared of ghosts, huh?
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:02,811 Hey, where's Kyle?
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,479 Check this out.
00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:05,606 Whoa, dude.
00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:06,857 What is that?
00:10:06,982 --> 00:10:08,525 I'm the whole solar system.
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,027 The planets even all revolve the right way.
00:10:10,152 --> 00:10:11,570 That tub of candy is as good as mine.
00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:13,488 [blows whistle] Okay, children.
00:10:13,614 --> 00:10:15,324 Let's get you lined up so the judge
00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:17,326 can get a good look at your stupid little costumes.
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:20,537 Children, this year we have a celebrity judge:
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:23,582 the star of "Family Ties," Miss Tina Yothers.
00:10:23,707 --> 00:10:24,875 [applause] Who?
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:25,959 Dude, I thought she was dead.
00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:27,127 Yeah, me too.
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:28,754 Thank you, Miss Yothers.
00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:32,591 Okay, the second-place award for best costume
00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:34,259 goes to...
00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:37,220 Kenny, for his Edward James Olmos costume!
00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:39,348 [applause]
00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:41,808 And the award for the very best costume
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,060 goes to...
00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:47,856 Wendy, for her Chewbacca costume.
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,859 What?! But she looks just like everybody else.
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,319 Up yours, Tina Yothers!
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,490 And the award for worst costume this year goes to...
00:10:56,615 --> 00:10:59,493 Stan, for his stupid little clown thing costume.
00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:01,578 Let's all point at Stan and laugh, children.
00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,705 [laughter] Yeah.
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:04,790 Thanks a lot, Wendy.
00:11:04,915 --> 00:11:06,249 You ruined my Halloween.
00:11:06,375 --> 00:11:08,126 Relax, Stan.
00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:10,003 You'll feel better once we're out trick-or-treating.
00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:11,505 I don't want to trick-or-treat with you!
00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:13,590 You lied to me! Okay, children,
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:16,051 let's all gather round and bob for stupid apples now.
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,762 You go first, Bebe.
00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:20,639 That's good. Just use those mouth muscles
00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:21,932 like the girls in Beijing.
00:11:22,057 --> 00:11:23,517 Brains!
00:11:23,642 --> 00:11:25,143 [growling]
00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:26,937 Wait your turn, Clyde!
00:11:29,231 --> 00:11:30,649 [howls]
00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:32,609 Argh! Damn, Johnson.
00:11:32,734 --> 00:11:34,569 What the hell has gotten into you?
00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:37,280 Piiinnnkkk... eyyeee...
00:11:37,406 --> 00:11:38,990 Get the hell out of here, Johnson!
00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:41,827 I don't want no goddamn pinkeye!
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,247 <i>And the President responded to the incident by saying,</i>
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:47,332 <i>quote, "Screw those commie bastards,</i>
00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,876 <i>and screw their little wussy space station."</i>
00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:51,753 <i>In other news, a pinkeye epidemic</i>
00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:54,297 <i>is now sweeping the town of South Park.</i>
00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:56,758 <i>Here with a live report is a midget wearing a bikini.</i>
00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:59,094 <i>Thanks, Tom. Already more than half the townspeople</i>
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:00,762 <i>here in South Park have been infected</i>
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,514 <i>with the pinkeye virus.</i>
00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:04,933 <i>[snarling] - [screams]</i>
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,769 <i>Symptoms include a complete loss of heart functions,</i>
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,438 <i>blood pressure, lung activity,</i>
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:12,441 <i>and of course, sticky, puffy, eyes.</i>
00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:13,900 Pinkeye my ass.
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:16,111 I've seen this kind of thing before.
00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:19,573 Where the hell is Kyle?
00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:21,116 We don't have all night to wait for him.
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,909 I bet I get more candy than you, dude.
00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:24,286 Are you crazy?
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:25,662 I'm the Candy Master!
00:12:25,787 --> 00:12:26,997 No, no, you're the Ass Master.
00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:28,749 There's a difference.
00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:30,333 Hey! I'm not the one who walked around all day
00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:32,043 looking like Pippi Longstockings!
00:12:32,169 --> 00:12:34,087 Oh, yeah? Well at least my mom's not on the cover
00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:35,672 of Crack Whore Magazine.
00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:37,716 Goddammit! My mom is not on the cover
00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:39,259 of Crack Whore Magazine!
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:41,052 Hey, dudes. - Oh, good, you're here.
00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:42,471 Now, let's make sure we've got everything.
00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:43,889 Flashlight? - Check.
00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:45,390 Plastic pumpkin pails? - Check.
00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:47,058 Taser? - What's that?
00:12:47,184 --> 00:12:48,435 For shocking people who try to give us
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:49,686 granola treats or something.
00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:51,813 Yeah, granola pisses me off.
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,148 [together] Hey, Kenny.
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:56,234 Whew! You stink, Kenny!
00:12:56,359 --> 00:12:58,278 You still didn't get a costume, Kenny?
00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:01,531 Eh, too bad drinking Scotch isn't a paying job,
00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:03,825 or else Kenny's dad would be a millionaire.
00:13:05,327 --> 00:13:07,621 I said your dad would be a millionaire, Kenny!
00:13:07,746 --> 00:13:10,624 Kenny! Your family is poor, Kenny!
00:13:10,749 --> 00:13:12,167 Your family's poor!
00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:14,961 I don't like Kenny anymore.
00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:17,756 He just doesn't communicate.
00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:19,800 Hi, guys. - Hi, Wendy.
00:13:19,925 --> 00:13:21,510 How's your barrel full of candy, Wendy?
00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:24,095 Oh, I didn't want all that sweet stuff.
00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:27,057 I gave it away to hungry children in Nairobi.
00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:29,684 You what?! Are you insane?!
00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:31,353 Let's go trick-or-treats!
00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:33,063 I don't think so, Wendy.
00:13:33,188 --> 00:13:35,148 I think you've had enough candy for one day.
00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:38,401 Stan, I'm awful sorry you got dressed up like Raggedy Andy.
00:13:38,527 --> 00:13:40,403 Please don't be mad.
00:13:40,529 --> 00:13:42,614 How can he be mad with such pretty hair and rosy cheeks?
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:44,491 Trick-or-treat with yourself, Wendy!
00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:46,743 But Stan... - No buts, Wendy.
00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:47,953 I wish you were dead!
00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:51,206 [groaning]
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:52,207 [screams]
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:53,834 [coughs]
00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:56,086 Doctor! - Why hello, Chef.
00:13:56,211 --> 00:13:57,879 Let me guess--pinkeye, right?
00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,673 No. No, Doctor.
00:13:59,798 --> 00:14:01,383 I've seen this type of thing before.
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,844 This ain't no pinkeye. It's the Living Dead.
00:14:03,969 --> 00:14:05,679 What the hell are you talking about?
00:14:05,804 --> 00:14:07,389 Think about it.
00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:08,765 Dead people getting up and walking around...
00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,267 and Tina Yothers come to town?
00:14:10,392 --> 00:14:12,310 Coincidence? Oh, I don't think so.
00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:14,479 Chef, I think maybe the pinkeye has made you
00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:15,981 a little delirious.
00:14:16,106 --> 00:14:18,066 Let me give you some topical cream.
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,734 Damn it, don't you see?
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:21,319 These people have been zombified!
00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:23,071 They got no heartbeat, no feeling--
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,364 I'll show you.
00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:26,241 [screams]
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:29,202 Uh, Mr. Torres was here for a routine checkup, Chef.
00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:31,788 Oh, sorry.
00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:33,665 But my point is
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,959 that topical cream ain't gonna fix what's wrong here!
00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:39,087 Hey now, now there have been a lot of incredible advances
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,590 in topical creams over the last few years.
00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:43,800 Doctor, who was the first person to come in here
00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:45,260 with the sickness?
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,012 Well, uh, it was the mortician
00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:48,972 and his assistant at the morgue, yeah.
00:14:49,848 --> 00:14:51,266 [screams]
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:54,102 [all growling]
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,812 Now, now, fellas, let's form a line.
00:14:55,937 --> 00:14:58,398 I've got enough topical cream for everybody.
00:14:58,523 --> 00:15:00,066 [screams]
00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:01,318 [together] Trick-or-treat!
00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:05,655 Oh, how cute.
00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:09,034 [screams] Dude, Kenny!
00:15:09,159 --> 00:15:12,037 Oh, my God! Call 911!
00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:14,706 Call 911! Nice going, Kenny.
00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:16,249 She was about to give us candy!
00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:18,001 Yeah! She had Sweetie Pops!
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,211 You owe me a Sweetie Pop, asshole!
00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:24,591 Mayor, we've got a big problem.
00:15:24,716 --> 00:15:28,094 [gasps] Why-why Chef, what a surprise.
00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:30,221 You're probably wondering why we're standing here
00:15:30,347 --> 00:15:32,849 with a pile of money and no pants on.
00:15:32,974 --> 00:15:33,892 Actually, uh--
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:35,393 Well, I can assure you
00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:37,020 that it has absolutely nothing
00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:39,105 to do with the Japanese Mafia.
00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:41,066 Not a thingy-dingy.
00:15:41,191 --> 00:15:42,776 I don't really give a crap.
00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:44,444 We've got to do something about the Living Dead!
00:15:44,569 --> 00:15:46,321 You mean Tina Yothers?
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:49,449 [laughter]
00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:51,451 No, dammit! I'm talking about the zombies
00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:53,370 that have taken over South Park!
00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:56,081 Well, Evel Knievel, why don't you jump over them
00:15:56,206 --> 00:15:57,666 with your rocket cycle?
00:15:57,791 --> 00:16:00,335 [laughter]
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,087 Aw, to hell with you both!
00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:05,966 Well, let's get back to it. - Righty-o.
00:16:06,091 --> 00:16:08,969 [doorbell chimes] [together] Trick-or-treat!
00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:11,805 Hope you kids like chocolate peanut butter cream puffies.
00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:14,808 [screams] Get it off! Get it off me!
00:16:14,933 --> 00:16:16,851 [screams]
00:16:20,772 --> 00:16:22,023 [munching]
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:23,441 Dammit! We'll never get any candy
00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:25,193 if Kenny keeps eating people!
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:26,778 Yeah! That's it, Kenny!
00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:28,613 You can't trick-or-treat with us anymore!
00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:31,449 [overlapping screams] man: Oh, God!
00:16:31,574 --> 00:16:33,159 [doorbell chimes]
00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:34,703 [together] Trick-or-treat.
00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:39,207 Hey, they're all dressed up like ghosts too.
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:42,669 One Tootie bar? You cheap bastards!
00:16:42,794 --> 00:16:46,006 [overlapping screams] [car alarm blaring]
00:16:48,425 --> 00:16:49,676 [doorbell chimes]
00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:51,636 [together] Trick-or--aaargh!
00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:54,681 Get off my property you brain eatin' zombie bastards!
00:16:54,806 --> 00:16:56,599 [together] No, Chef, No!
00:16:56,725 --> 00:16:58,935 Oh, sorry children, I thought you were one of them!
00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:01,062 Can we have some candy now, please?
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:04,024 Dammit boy, what the hell are you doing dressed up like that?
00:17:04,149 --> 00:17:05,942 I'm trying to trick-or-treat, goddammit!
00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:08,194 Remind me to whoop your ass good next time I see you.
00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:10,530 Now get in here before those zombies get you.
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:13,575 What are you talking about, Chef?
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:15,827 Zombies, children. South Park is overrun
00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:17,537 with the Living Dead.
00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:20,582 Haven't you noticed anything strange lately?
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:22,042 Well, not really, except that Kenny keeps
00:17:22,167 --> 00:17:23,126 eating people's brains.
00:17:23,251 --> 00:17:24,669 Don't you children see?
00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:26,129 Kenny's turned into a zombie,
00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:27,756 along with everyone else in town.
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,299 Oh, my God. That means...
00:17:29,424 --> 00:17:31,134 If everyone has turned into zombies...
00:17:31,259 --> 00:17:34,429 Then there won't be anyone to give us candy!
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,222 [all gasp] [screams]
00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:37,557 Chef! You've got to help us!
00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:39,142 I'm working on it, children.
00:17:40,185 --> 00:17:41,728 Wait, where are we going?
00:17:41,853 --> 00:17:43,271 The doctor said the first people he treated
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,607 were the mortician and his assistant.
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:48,109 Now, I've got a hunch we'll get to the bottom of this
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:49,110 at the morgue.
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,779 <i>[ominous music]</i>
00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,072 [flatulence]
00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:53,198 [laughter] It was Kyle.
00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:58,078 I don't know about this, Chef.
00:17:58,203 --> 00:17:59,579 Yeah, I'm scared.
00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:03,792 Remember candy. Focus on the candy.
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:05,418 What are we doing here, Chef?
00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:08,046 Just look for anything suspicious.
00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:09,881 I found it! I found it!
00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:11,508 What? See, Cartman?
00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,718 Your mom is on the cover.
00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:16,346 [sputtering] We told you, dude.
00:18:16,471 --> 00:18:18,098 [sputtering]
00:18:18,223 --> 00:18:20,225 You better let me take that, Kyle.
00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:22,435 Hey, Chef, look.
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:25,438 <i>[tense music]</i>
00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:27,857 ♪♪
00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:30,777 I got to call this hotline number, children.
00:18:30,902 --> 00:18:32,904 Piiink eyyyeee.
00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:34,280 It's the British kid!
00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:35,740 He's a little limey zombie now!
00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:36,908 [screams]
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:38,201 Look out, children!
00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:39,828 [overlapping moans]
00:18:42,831 --> 00:18:45,542 [extended growl]
00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:47,961 Ow! Oh, God!
00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:49,504 Okay, Chef, dial the hotline number!
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:52,257 Chef?
00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:53,341 Chef!
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:54,968 <i>[funky music]</i>
00:18:55,093 --> 00:18:56,970 ♪ I'm gonna make love ♪
00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:59,264 ♪ Even when I'm dead ♪
00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:01,182 ♪ My body might get cold ♪
00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:03,393 ♪ But it's always hot in my bed ♪
00:19:03,518 --> 00:19:05,311 ♪ Make love ♪
00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:07,063 ♪ Don't you be afraid ♪
00:19:07,188 --> 00:19:09,274 ♪ Just because my heart ain't beating ♪
00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:11,818 ♪ It don't mean you won't get laid ♪
00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:13,945 ♪ Yee-hee! ♪
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:15,572 Let's get out of here!
00:19:15,697 --> 00:19:18,241 Ohhhh!
00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:20,535 We gotta call that Worcestershire sauce hotline!
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:22,245 Hey, there's a payphone!
00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:23,580 You call the number, Kyle.
00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:24,581 But the zombies are coming!
00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:25,665 [moans]
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:27,125 We'll hold them off.
00:19:28,585 --> 00:19:29,669 <i>Welcome to the Worcestershire sauce</i>
00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:31,629 <i>customer service hotline.</i>
00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:32,922 <i>For Worcestershire sauce recipes, please press 1</i>
00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:34,716 <i>followed by the pound sign.</i>
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:35,925 <i>For Worcestershire sauce product placement,</i>
00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:37,886 <i>please press 2.</i>
00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:39,220 <i>If Worcestershire sauce has been used as embalming,</i>
00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:40,763 <i>please press--</i> [beep]
00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:42,390 Nobody screws up my trick-or-treats
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:43,725 and gets away with it!
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,603 [saw buzzing] Yeah, cool!
00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:47,729 Sweet!
00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:53,401 <i>Worcestershire sauce emergency hotline.</i>
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,153 <i>This call might be monitored</i>
00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:56,279 <i>to ensure you the highest quality service.</i>
00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:57,614 <i>How may I help you?</i>
00:19:57,739 --> 00:19:58,656 There's a bunch of zombies here!
00:19:58,781 --> 00:20:00,158 <i>Please hold.</i>
00:20:00,283 --> 00:20:02,619 [saws buzzing]
00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:09,834 Wendy?
00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:11,461 [snarls]
00:20:11,586 --> 00:20:13,296 Finish her, dude. She's a zombie now.
00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:14,547 I know, but...
00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:16,466 But-- - Come on, Stan!
00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:18,301 Remember how she dissed you at the costume contest?
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:19,594 Hey, yeah!
00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:23,097 <i>With the regular sauce, the first thing you need to do</i>
00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:24,474 is make sure that you do not just go out
00:20:24,599 --> 00:20:25,975 and start decapitating zombies
00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:27,727 left and right, do you understand?
00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:30,313 Do not start decapitating zombies left and right!
00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:32,065 Uh, okay. Then what?
00:20:32,190 --> 00:20:33,524 [shrieks]
00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:34,776 Wendy, I know we had a fight,
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:36,319 and I did wish you were dead,
00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:38,446 but I didn't mean it. Kill her, Stan!
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:39,989 All you have to do is kill the original zombie,
00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:41,491 the one that started the whole mess.
00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:43,201 Once you kill the original zombie,
00:20:43,326 --> 00:20:44,619 all the other zombies will turn back to normal.
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,621 Original zombie?
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:48,581 Well, how the hell do we know who the original zombie is?
00:20:48,706 --> 00:20:50,166 We realize you have a choice in Worcestershire sauces.
00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:51,793 We are delighted that-- [click]
00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:53,002 Wait a minute.
00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:54,629 That thing landed on Kenny.
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,422 And they took him to the mortuary.
00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:57,507 [howling]
00:20:57,632 --> 00:20:58,675 I--I can't.
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,176 [snarling]
00:21:01,386 --> 00:21:03,471 [grinding]
00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:09,102 Oh, my God! I killed Kenny!
00:21:09,227 --> 00:21:10,937 You bastard!
00:21:11,062 --> 00:21:13,398 Oh... What happened?
00:21:13,523 --> 00:21:16,150 Stan? - Don't worry, babe.
00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:17,944 Everything's gonna be okay.
00:21:18,069 --> 00:21:19,737 It's working. They're turning back to normal.
00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:21,572 You did it, children!
00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:22,699 Okay, let's go trick-or-treating now.
00:21:22,824 --> 00:21:24,450 Come on.
00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:26,911 I'm sorry I dissed you at school like that, Stan.
00:21:27,036 --> 00:21:30,456 I guess I just wasn't very considerate of your feelings.
00:21:30,581 --> 00:21:33,209 That's okay, Wendy. I'm sorry I wished you were dead.
00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:38,172 Maybe we could actually kiss tonight, Stan.
00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:39,674 <i>[tender music]</i>
00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:42,051 [retches] - Ew, gross, Stan!
00:21:42,176 --> 00:21:45,138 Sick! Barf is gross!
00:21:48,558 --> 00:21:50,393 <i>[melancholy music]</i>
00:21:50,518 --> 00:21:52,729 Oh, man. I can't believe he's gone.
00:21:52,854 --> 00:21:54,981 Yeah, he was too young to be taken from us.
00:21:55,106 --> 00:21:56,983 Dude, you're the one who cut him in half with a chainsaw.
00:21:57,108 --> 00:21:59,527 Let us remember the good times.
00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:02,030 Kenny would have wanted it that way.
00:22:02,155 --> 00:22:04,198 [weeping]
00:22:06,701 --> 00:22:08,202 You know, I've really learned something today.
00:22:08,328 --> 00:22:10,955 Halloween isn't about costumes or candy.
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:12,582 It's about being good to one another
00:22:12,707 --> 00:22:14,125 and giving and loving.
00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:16,294 No, dude, that's Christmas.
00:22:16,419 --> 00:22:18,421 Oh. Then what's Halloween about?
00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:20,381 Costumes and candy. - Oh.
00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:22,175 [weeping]
00:22:22,300 --> 00:22:24,552 Well, let's get home and start eating that candy.
00:22:24,677 --> 00:22:26,220 We can eat it at Cartman's house
00:22:26,346 --> 00:22:27,680 and see more naughty pictures of his mom!
00:22:27,805 --> 00:22:29,390 Yeah. - Knock it off, you guys!
00:22:29,515 --> 00:22:31,225 She said she was young and needed the money!
00:22:31,351 --> 00:22:33,311 Cartman, those pictures were taken, like, last month.
00:22:33,436 --> 00:22:36,272 [sputtering] Screw you guys!
00:22:36,397 --> 00:22:39,734 ♪♪
00:22:39,859 --> 00:22:43,529 <i>[ominous music]</i>
00:22:43,654 --> 00:22:45,114 [roars]
00:22:46,407 --> 00:22:47,617 Ugh!

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