Смерть
Описание
Дедушке Стэна — 102 года. Единственное, что он хочет — умереть. Он пытается любым способом добиться, чтобы Стэн его убил. Тем временем Шейла Брофловски пытается запретить шоу Терренса и Филлипа.
Субтитры
rus__Notabenoid_(Lendis).srt
rus__Notabenoid_(Lendis).srt
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— Какого это, когда тебе 102 года, а пап?
— Пристрелите меня
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— Загадай желание, дедушка
— Я хочу сдохнуть
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— Это глупо
— Это не глупо, убейте меня
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— Я бы сделал это сам, но я слишком стар
— Кто хочет мороженного с тортом?
00:02:42,877 --> 00:02:45,886
— Я хочу
— Сейчас 8:00. Мое любимое телешоу начинается.
00:02:45,904 --> 00:02:49,848
Это телешоу для малышей. Оно такое тупое
00:02:49,868 --> 00:02:51,911
Мам, можно мне поесть в гостиной?
00:02:51,928 --> 00:02:54,931
Ну хорошо, но возьми дедушку с собой.
00:02:55,852 --> 00:02:57,857
— Вот дерьмо!
— Следи за языком!
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Вернемся к Террансу и Филлипу
00:02:59,915 --> 00:03:05,859
— Эй Терранс, мне, кажется, нужно пернуть.
— Погоди, прежде чем сделать это, дерьни меня за палец.
00:03:11,847 --> 00:03:12,913
Вот дерьмо!
00:03:12,933 --> 00:03:17,853
— Хочешь заработать доллар, Билли?
— Меня зовут не Билли, а Стэн
00:03:17,887 --> 00:03:20,881
— Черт тебя дери, хочешь доллар или нет?
— Конечно
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— Ты должен сделать кое-что для меня
— Я не собираюсь тебя убивать
00:03:25,848 --> 00:03:27,847
— Почему не будешь?
— У меня будут неприятности
00:03:27,868 --> 00:03:32,888
— Я убил своего дедушку, когдя был молодым
— Отстань, дедушка
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До чего дошла наша молодеж
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Дети даже не хотят убивать своих дедушек
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Эй, Терранс, раз уж ты пернул,
я тоже должен сделать это.
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Ты пернул.
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Кайл, что ты смотришь?
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— Филлип, хочешь ли ты цветов?
— Конечно хочу
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Ну отлично, вот тебе тюльпан
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— Что это? Это кошмар какой-то
— Это Терранс и Филлип
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— Слови это, хер тупоголовый
— Что он сказал?
00:04:04,885 --> 00:04:07,875
— Ты просто говнюк, Филлип
— Что?
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Ты не будешь больше это смотреть
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:15,889
— Это подростковый сортирный юмор
— Но ведь все это смотрят
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Серьезно что ли?
00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:24,840
— Похоже ты собираешься пернуть
— Ты совершенно прав, Терранс
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— Милый
— Эрик, дорогой...
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...мне только что звонила
мама твоего друга, Кайла.
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Она сказала, что это шоу не приличное,
и может сделать из тебя сквернослова.
00:04:37,888 --> 00:04:40,891
Полная чушь.
Мама Кайла ёбаная жидовка.
00:04:40,912 --> 00:04:42,878
Хорошо, сладенький.
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— Я не буду убивать тебя дедушка
— Неблагодарный!
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— Спокойной ночи, дедушка
— Шлюхин сын!
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За что это?
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За твою тупорылую мамашу.
Из-за нее я пропустил Терренса и Филлипа.
00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:07,920
Чего это твоей маме взбрело
в голову обзванивать наших мам?
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:11,915
— Она это сама по себе сделала
— Почему это случается каждый месяц?
00:05:11,935 --> 00:05:16,935
Как будто каждый месяц у мамы Кайла
начинает сверлеть в жопе...
00:05:17,856 --> 00:05:20,846
— ...а я попадаю под раздачу.
— Дети...
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— Мне звонила мать одного из вас
— Я даже не знаю кто бы это мог быть?
00:05:25,913 --> 00:05:31,890
Она проинформировала меня, что некоторые из вас
могли смотреть Терранса и Филлипа.
00:05:31,911 --> 00:05:35,887
Это плохое шоу, мр. Гаррисон
Так точно, мр. Шляпа.
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Такие шоу относят к "сортирному юмору".
00:05:39,841 --> 00:05:42,868
Они не развивают вас.
00:05:42,898 --> 00:05:46,889
Дети, подобные шоу это бесмысленный,
гнусный отстой.
00:05:46,909 --> 00:05:49,878
Кенни, почему ты опаздал на занятия?
00:05:52,909 --> 00:05:54,915
Хорошо, садись.
00:05:54,936 --> 00:05:58,926
Причина расстройства ваших родителей это...
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Да, Кенни, что такое?
00:06:01,894 --> 00:06:04,873
Ты же только что из туалета пришел.
00:06:04,894 --> 00:06:07,843
Хорошо, хорошо, иди.
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Вам нравится это шоу, несмотря на то,
что оно не имеет никакой связи с реальностью.
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Жизнь это более интересная вещь,
чем пердеж двух ребят.
00:06:15,848 --> 00:06:19,875
В истории всегда были плохие шоу.
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Обычно их закрывали.
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Вам следует просвещать свои умы
более интеллигентными развлечениями.
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— Воняет как будто ты корову зарезал
— Прошу внимания!
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Я требую чтобы вы не смотрели больше
Терранса и Филлипа.
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— Чего?
— Не смотреть Терранса и Филлипа?
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Вот именно. Есть какие-нибудь вопросы?
Да, Стэнли?
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А это нормально убить кого-то
если он этого сам хочет?
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— Что?
— Мой дедушка просит меня убить его.
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— Порой я думаю, должен ли я это сделать.
— Тогда ты должен.
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— Серьезно?
— Аха. Парень по имени Джек Лаборкиан...
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...бродит и убивает всех,
кто его об этом просит.
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Может мы могли бы угороворить его
убить маму Кайла.
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А это нормально помогать кому-либо
в совершении самоубийства?
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Стэн, я не хочу касаться этого
даже шестиметровой палкой.
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Мы пропустим Терранса и Филлипа.
Мне кажется у меня уже ломка.
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Не волнуйся, чувак,
мы можем посмотреть у меня дома.
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А разьве твой дедушка не дома?
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Да убей его просто.
Может быть он даст тебе денег.
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— Здравствуйте ребята
— Привет, Шеф
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— Как дела?
— Плохо.
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— Почему плохо?
— А нормально ли убить твоего дедушку?
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Ты не можешь убить моего дедушку,
он уже давно мертв.
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— Нет, я имею в виду убить своего дедушку.
— Не думаю, что это нормально.
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— Мне кажется, это противозаконно.
— Видишь, я ж тебе говорил.
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Ну а что если очень хочеть умереть,
и просит, чтобы ему помогли с этим?
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Аха, он типа просит убить его. Что тогда?
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Я не хочу касаться этого
даже 12 метровой палкой.
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Почему никто не хочет говорить об этом?
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До не давнего времени
я не имела представления об этом ужасном шоу.
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У меня есть клип показывающий,
что я имею в виду.
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— Филлип, угадай че?
— Че?
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Пердеж.
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Видимо, это должно быть смешно.
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Он пернул прямо ему в голову.
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Не достаточно запретить
нашим детям смотреть это шоу.
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Мы должны забойкотировать всю телекомпанию.
Кто за?
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Мне кажется я подхватил инфекцию от Кенни.
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— У меня яблочно-зеленые брызги.
— Яблочно-зеленые брызги.
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Привет дедушка, я привел своих друзей.
00:09:00,345 --> 00:09:04,271
Билли, помоги мне воткнуть вилку в розетку.
00:09:04,292 --> 00:09:07,285
— Нет, дедушка.
— Убей, черт тебя дери.
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— Я даже оленя убить не могу.
— Дай сделать это твоим друзьям.
00:09:11,266 --> 00:09:13,345
— Ты убей меня.
— Я бы никогда не убил кого-либо...
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...если только меня не взбесят.
— Это правда?
00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:19,296
Позволь мне сказать тебе кое-что, хрюшка...
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...тут была недавно твоя мама,
и я отодрал ее как сучку.
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Все верно.
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А потом я откапал скелет
твоей пробабушки и проделал тоже самое.
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— Жопа была что надо.
— Кусок дерьма, я убью тебя!
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— Ух какой настрой, пузатый.
— Харошь.
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— Не смей так говорить о моей маме!
— Пойдем смотреть телик.
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Я когда-нибудь рассказывал,
как отодрал твоего папашу, жирный?
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— Я не верю этому сукиному сыну!
— Возьми кексиков.
00:09:48,326 --> 00:09:51,273
— Чувак, кексики?
— Что мне делать?
00:09:51,293 --> 00:09:53,352
— Он реально хочет умереть.
— Это нормально.
00:09:54,273 --> 00:09:56,300
— Спроси у Господа совета.
— Да.
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А сейчас возвращаемся к "Иисусу и ребятам".
00:09:59,344 --> 00:10:04,324
Да, веруйте в меня и вы найдете покой.
Первый звонок?
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— Это Иисус?
— Да. Ты должен выключить свой телевизор.
00:10:09,358 --> 00:10:13,274
— Извинте. Это Мартин.
— Из Аспен Парк.
00:10:13,295 --> 00:10:18,318
— Как ты узнал это?
— Потому что я сын Господний, умник.
00:10:18,339 --> 00:10:22,276
У меня есть кузен,
который списывал на экзаменах...
00:10:22,296 --> 00:10:26,319
Скажи маленькому Грегори, что списывание
это обман, а обманывать это плохо.
00:10:26,340 --> 00:10:29,342
Ладно. Спасибо за совет, Иисус.
00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:32,269
— Следующий.
— Иисус?
00:10:32,290 --> 00:10:35,350
— Да, сын мой.
— А нормально ли это убить того...
00:10:36,271 --> 00:10:40,297
...кто сам просит сделать это,
типа помочь с самоубийством. Это нормально?
00:10:40,318 --> 00:10:42,270
— Сын мой...
— Да?
00:10:42,291 --> 00:10:45,275
...я не касаюсь этого
даже с 18 метровой палкой.
00:10:45,295 --> 00:10:46,342
— Черт побери!
— Я все слышал.
00:10:47,262 --> 00:10:51,288
— Что со всеми не так?
— Эй, Терранс и Филлип уже идет.
00:10:51,309 --> 00:10:54,325
— Думаете у нас не будет неприятностей?
— Не будь засранцем.
00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:58,269
Твоя мама сука, но мы не должны страдать.
00:10:58,286 --> 00:11:00,346
Не называй мою маму сукой, Картман!
00:11:01,263 --> 00:11:05,313
Сука. Твоя мама сука.
00:11:05,330 --> 00:11:07,320
Возвращаемся к Террансу и Филлипу.
00:11:07,341 --> 00:11:12,260
— Филлип, хочешь бобов?
— Да, я обожаю бобы.
00:11:12,281 --> 00:11:17,337
— Спорим, я знаю к чему все идет.
— Билли, подержи пожалуйста.
00:11:17,358 --> 00:11:20,355
Хорошо, дедушка, только уйди, не загораживай.
00:11:21,275 --> 00:11:25,275
— Те бобы могут заставить меня пернуть.
— Ну, не перни на меня.
00:11:25,312 --> 00:11:28,306
Чувак, он снова пернет ему прямо в голову.
00:11:28,346 --> 00:11:31,312
Эй, Кенни, ты пропустишь это.
00:11:31,333 --> 00:11:34,359
— Ты такой говнюк, Терранс.
— Да я такой.
00:11:39,327 --> 00:11:44,271
— Кенни, ты пропустишь весь пердеж.
— Какого черта вы делаете?
00:11:44,291 --> 00:11:47,337
Мы не смотрим Терранса и Филлипа, я клянусь.
00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:51,341
Нет, я имею в виду какого черта
ты делаешь с дедушкой?
00:11:53,339 --> 00:11:56,355
Затяни чутка потуже, Билли.
00:11:59,269 --> 00:12:02,263
Ты ублюдок! Ты пытался убить дедушку.
00:12:02,283 --> 00:12:05,323
— Я расскажу маме.
— Черт возьми, я был так близок.
00:12:05,343 --> 00:12:08,286
Четыре мальчика из Южного Парка,
штат Колорадо...
00:12:08,307 --> 00:12:12,266
...пытались злонамеренно убить
безвредного дедушку.
00:12:12,287 --> 00:12:17,290
Мальчики, что побудило вас пойти на крайности
и породило в вас демонических сволочей?
00:12:17,311 --> 00:12:20,320
Мы смотрели Терранса и Филлипа и...
00:12:20,341 --> 00:12:24,311
Терранс и Филлип?
Значит это шоу виновато.
00:12:24,332 --> 00:12:29,341
Разум этих мальчиков был помутнен помоями,
что они смотрели в телевизоре...
00:12:30,262 --> 00:12:32,325
...и мы сыты этим по горло.
00:12:32,346 --> 00:12:34,319
О, Боже. О, Боже
00:12:34,339 --> 00:12:37,359
Мы должны не дать попасть
этой непристойности в эфир.
00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:43,273
Мы устроим марш к телецентру, и будем протестовать
до тех пор, пока наши требования не выполнят.
00:12:43,293 --> 00:12:46,310
Нью Йорк, мы идем!
00:12:52,401 --> 00:12:55,434
Мы донесем наше слово до этого заведения...
00:12:55,451 --> 00:13:00,461
...что мы хотим лучшее телевидение
для наших детей.
00:13:01,402 --> 00:13:05,448
Мы хотим более качественное шоу,
таких как Полный дом.
00:13:07,493 --> 00:13:13,473
— Кажется, я от вас подцепил желудочную инфекцию.
— Нет, это пошло от сволоча Кенни.
00:13:14,423 --> 00:13:18,486
— Мэр, вы там готовите подливу что ли?
— Я только что родила коричневого младенца.
00:13:23,411 --> 00:13:29,410
— Так классно без родителей.
— Я надеюсь они там вечно будут протестовать.
00:13:29,435 --> 00:13:33,415
— Билли, я хочу кое-что тебе показать.
— Оно мне надо?
00:13:33,435 --> 00:13:35,455
Да, надо, мелкий ты дятел.
00:13:35,475 --> 00:13:38,424
Причина, по которой ты не убиваешь меня...
00:13:38,446 --> 00:13:41,448
...не понимание того, как я себя чувствую.
00:13:41,493 --> 00:13:47,439
Теперь я нашел способ показать тебе
какого это быть дедушкой.
00:13:48,460 --> 00:13:50,453
Что ты делаешь?
00:13:52,467 --> 00:13:55,450
— Что они делают?
— Я не знаю.
00:13:55,471 --> 00:14:00,437
Сейчас ты поймешь, какого это быть
таким старым как я. Ты готов?
00:14:00,458 --> 00:14:02,460
Думаю да.
00:14:12,482 --> 00:14:16,469
— Ладно, теперь дай мне выйти отсюда.
— Не так сразу.
00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:19,436
Дай мне выйти, дедушка.
00:14:19,456 --> 00:14:22,426
Я не могу это терпеть. Музыка ужасная.
00:14:22,447 --> 00:14:25,490
Она дряная, но одновременно увечная
и убаюкивающая тоже.
00:14:26,410 --> 00:14:29,463
Вот так. Теперь ты знаешь,
какого это чувствовать себя как дедушка.
00:14:33,404 --> 00:14:36,410
Дедушка, я и понятия не имел
как плохо тебе было.
00:14:36,431 --> 00:14:40,418
— Теперь я понимаю.
— Ну сейчас ты меня убьешь, Билли?
00:14:40,439 --> 00:14:42,479
Конечно убью, дедушка. Обязательно.
00:14:44,442 --> 00:14:48,498
— Наш протест не действует.
— Он подействует. Он должен.
00:14:49,446 --> 00:14:51,489
Это президент телекомпании.
00:14:52,410 --> 00:14:54,493
Леди и джентельмены, я Джон Уарсон.
00:14:55,413 --> 00:14:59,497
Я подготовил для вас заявление
от имени телекомпании.
00:15:01,424 --> 00:15:02,490
Идите на хуй.
00:15:03,484 --> 00:15:06,433
Спасибо.
Если есть еще какие-либо вопросы...
00:15:06,454 --> 00:15:10,404
...вы можете задать их
вон той кирпичной стене.
00:15:10,425 --> 00:15:14,458
Эй, тебе это с рук не сойдет.
00:15:17,442 --> 00:15:21,432
Ну все, никаких больше умеренных протестов.
00:15:21,453 --> 00:15:23,489
Пришло время для плана Б.
00:15:24,486 --> 00:15:27,485
Кэрол, а где передвижные туалеты?
00:15:28,407 --> 00:15:32,406
Вон там. Что, тебе нужно сбросить
пару дружков на водичку?
00:15:32,427 --> 00:15:34,493
Аха, именно так.
00:15:36,464 --> 00:15:39,474
Хорошо, все что тебе нужно,
это просто сидеть там.
00:15:39,494 --> 00:15:42,464
— Корова хорошо привязана?
— Все нормально.
00:15:43,415 --> 00:15:45,438
Ладно, давайте ребята.
00:15:46,475 --> 00:15:50,415
— Почему мы его не пристрелим?
— Это должно выглядеть естественно...
00:15:50,435 --> 00:15:53,402
— ...иначе нас поймают.
— Аха, тупица.
00:15:53,439 --> 00:15:57,459
Хорошо, Билли, чуток повыше сейчас.
00:15:58,406 --> 00:16:01,403
Телекомпания не обращается с нами
со всей серьезностью.
00:16:01,423 --> 00:16:05,446
В прошлом, людям приходилось умирать
во имя того, во что верили.
00:16:05,467 --> 00:16:10,427
Мы приготовились сделать тоже самое.
Готовы?
00:16:10,448 --> 00:16:15,485
Мистер Маккормик, вы будете для нас мучеником.
С богом.
00:16:16,405 --> 00:16:21,478
Мы не позволим этим корпоративным
полоумным разрушить умы наших детей.
00:16:21,499 --> 00:16:23,442
Пускай!
00:16:27,426 --> 00:16:33,425
Мы все поступим также,
если до этого придется дойти.
00:16:34,430 --> 00:16:38,483
— Ты готов, дедушка?
— Папа Римский срет в лесу?
00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:43,423
Код 6. 105-й на север, 52-е шоссе.
00:16:47,461 --> 00:16:49,441
Продолжайте.
00:16:50,418 --> 00:16:53,434
Хорошо, ну вот и все.
Пока дедушка, с тобой было хорошо.
00:16:53,455 --> 00:16:55,435
Режь уже эту чертову веревку!
00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:58,451
Что это?
00:16:58,479 --> 00:17:02,419
Это похоже на Смерть.
00:17:03,476 --> 00:17:07,439
Ты как раз вовремя, ты ленивый шлюхин сын!
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:10,447
Давай, приступай!
Что за...
00:17:11,427 --> 00:17:15,454
— Эй, он направляется в нашу сторону.
— Почему Смерть идет за нами?
00:17:21,418 --> 00:17:24,401
— Помогите!
— Беги, беги!
00:17:25,472 --> 00:17:27,481
Что мы будем делать?
00:17:28,425 --> 00:17:31,448
В течении дня,
все больше жителей Южного Парка...
00:17:31,469 --> 00:17:36,439
...выстреливают свои тела
в здание Тун Централ.
00:17:36,459 --> 00:17:40,412
Сейчас Тун Централ находится
под невероятным прессингом...
00:17:40,433 --> 00:17:43,470
...и уже потеряли 20% своих спонсоров.
00:17:44,420 --> 00:17:47,419
— Вот держи, думаю это твой мальчик.
— Спасибо.
00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:50,410
Что такое? Ты что-нибудь сломал?
00:17:50,431 --> 00:17:53,468
Мам, здесь Смерть!
Он пытается забрать нас!
00:17:53,488 --> 00:17:56,428
Тебе нужно оставить маму в покое.
00:17:56,448 --> 00:17:59,492
Я занимаюсь важным делом
для твоего же блага.
00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:02,448
— Но, Мам..!
— Поговори с отцом.
00:18:02,469 --> 00:18:04,485
— Отопление включили?
— Смерт идет!
00:18:05,406 --> 00:18:07,489
Держи выше 70. Позаботься о дедушке.
00:18:10,439 --> 00:18:14,430
Если родители будут меньше волноваться о том,
что смотрят их дети по телевизору...
00:18:14,450 --> 00:18:18,496
...и начнут волноваться больше
о жизни своих детей, дела пойдут лучше.
00:18:19,417 --> 00:18:24,461
Родители посчитали себя оскорбленными,
т.к они полагались на телевидение как на сиделку и воспитателя.
00:18:34,479 --> 00:18:36,484
— Точно чувак.
— Правильно говоришь.
00:18:37,486 --> 00:18:40,459
Быстро, прыгый через окно!
00:18:47,536 --> 00:18:50,613
Вернись, ты, напыщенный сыночек педика!
00:18:52,527 --> 00:18:54,610
Не дай ему прикоснуться тебя, или ты умрешь.
00:18:55,531 --> 00:18:57,550
Я прямо тут, шлюхин сын.
00:19:02,548 --> 00:19:05,618
Терранс, какого цвета ветер?
00:19:07,528 --> 00:19:10,548
Я не знаю, почему бы тебе не проверить?
00:19:10,589 --> 00:19:14,585
Ты пернул! О Боже!
00:19:15,563 --> 00:19:18,525
Эй Филлип, ты знаешь
как мой скафандр пахнет?
00:19:18,543 --> 00:19:24,542
— Нет, Терранс, почему бы тебе не сказать мне?
— Ну, он пахнет как вонючий пердеж.
00:19:26,557 --> 00:19:27,559
Эй, смотрите!
00:19:28,604 --> 00:19:30,556
Вот еще один.
00:19:33,614 --> 00:19:36,577
Час спустя, упорные родители Южного Парка...
00:19:36,598 --> 00:19:41,564
...все еще убивают себя
перед зданием Тун Централ.
00:19:41,585 --> 00:19:45,572
Хуже того, кишечный грипп,
который похоже распространяется здесь...
00:19:45,589 --> 00:19:50,609
Подожите. Я нахожусь там,
где президент сообщества хочет сделать заявление.
00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:54,589
— Постой, постой.
— Леди и джентельмены...
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:59,600
...ваши нацистские приемы старающиеся
завонять нас своими протухшими фекалиями...
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:02,543
...сработали.
00:20:03,551 --> 00:20:07,607
Поэтому, сегодня мы официально
снимаем Терранса и Филлипа из эфира...
00:20:08,528 --> 00:20:13,568
и заменяем его с «Она Шериф»,
с актрисой Сьюзан Сомерс.
00:20:13,588 --> 00:20:17,565
А теперь валите отсюда,
и забирайте свой понос с собой.
00:20:20,566 --> 00:20:23,556
Теперь, наконец-то,
мы можем вернуться к нормальности.
00:20:23,576 --> 00:20:25,573
— Эй, Филлип.
— Да, Терранс?
00:20:25,593 --> 00:20:30,587
— Там что монектка застряла у меня в заднице?
— Я не знаю, давай посмотрю.
00:20:30,607 --> 00:20:35,533
Не смотри туда, Филлип, тебя пропердят.
00:20:36,574 --> 00:20:39,618
Мы прерываем программу,
чтобы показать громкие помехи.
00:20:46,585 --> 00:20:50,579
О Боже мой, они убили Кенни. Ты сволочь!
00:20:50,599 --> 00:20:53,589
Я думаю, Смерть охотилась только за Кенни,
все это время.
00:20:53,609 --> 00:20:57,579
Эй, ты должен был убить меня.
00:20:57,599 --> 00:20:59,579
Это нечестно, черт тебя дери!
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:03,596
Мой дедушка попросил убить его,
и я сделал это.
00:21:07,524 --> 00:21:10,564
Билли...
00:21:10,584 --> 00:21:13,574
— Дедушка?
— Верно, Билли.
00:21:13,594 --> 00:21:18,538
Меня зовут не Билли, дедушка.
Почему ты выглядишь весь изможденный?
00:21:18,558 --> 00:21:22,528
Я попросил убить тебя, Билли,
но я был неправ.
00:21:22,549 --> 00:21:26,579
— И теперь я застрял навечно в забвении
— В забвении?
00:21:26,599 --> 00:21:29,569
Я был неправ, ставив тебя в такое положение.
00:21:29,589 --> 00:21:32,619
Также как ты неправ,
ставя младшего Билли в такое.
00:21:33,540 --> 00:21:37,610
Ты был так одержим идеей убить себя,
что ты не подумал об этом.
00:21:38,527 --> 00:21:43,593
— Ты должен подождать смерти по естественным причинам.
— Но я уже жду 25 лет!
00:21:43,614 --> 00:21:48,520
Дай природе сделать свое
или закончишь свою жизнь в забвении.
00:21:48,541 --> 00:21:53,587
Естественные причины,
Билли, естественные причины.
00:21:56,589 --> 00:21:59,545
Ладно ребята, пошли домой.
00:22:06,543 --> 00:22:08,566
— Вот и они.
— Мы сделали это, сынок.
00:22:08,587 --> 00:22:12,543
— Мы выиграли битву за твое благополучие.
— О чем вы?
00:22:12,564 --> 00:22:14,610
Мы добились, чтобы
Терранса и Филлипа сняли с эфира.
00:22:15,544 --> 00:22:19,564
— Ах ты сукин сын, твоя мама отстой!
— Но посмотрите, что они запустили.
00:22:20,561 --> 00:22:25,538
— А теперь, вернемся к «Она — Шериф».
— Нет, Боже, нет!
00:22:25,558 --> 00:22:30,561
— Ты был тем, кто стоял за всеми махинациаями.
— Да, но ты была тупой шлюшкой, которая положила начало этому.
00:22:30,595 --> 00:22:32,544
Что он сказал?
00:22:32,566 --> 00:22:35,578
— Отвали, чавкающая жопа
— Что?!
00:22:35,599 --> 00:22:39,545
Давайте все, назад в Нью Йорк.
00:22:39,566 --> 00:22:43,572
Эй, Стэн, раз теперь Терренса и Филлипа
сняли с эфира, как ты будешь развлекаться?
00:22:43,593 --> 00:22:49,530
— Я не знаю. Мы могли бы начать нюхать выхлопные газы.
— Мой дядя говорит, курить крэк круто.
00:22:49,551 --> 00:22:52,594
— Почему бы нам не пойти смотреть эти штучки из порно фильма.
— Круто!
00:22:53,611 --> 00:22:57,557
— Что ты делаешь, дедушка?
— Я еду в Африку
00:22:57,578 --> 00:23:03,524
Ты знал, что больше четырехсот человек
за год съедаются львами в Африке.
00:23:03,545 --> 00:23:06,529
Это мой глупенький дедушка.
00:23:06,539 --> 00:23:09,029
Переведено на Нотабеноиде
http://notabenoid.com/book/10656/132226
00:23:09,039 --> 00:23:10,029
Переводчики: Lendis
rus__Notabenoid_(email).srt
rus__Notabenoid_(email).srt
00:02:26,912 --> 00:02:29,902
- Какого это быть 102 летним, папа?
- Пристрели меня.
00:02:29,922 --> 00:02:33,932
- Загадай желание, дедушка.
- Я желаю что бы я был сдох.
00:02:34,853 --> 00:02:37,869
- Это глупо, дедушка.
- Я не глупый, убей меня.
00:02:37,890 --> 00:02:42,860
- Я бы сделал это сам, но я слишком стар.
- Кто хочет мороженое с тортом?
00:02:42,877 --> 00:02:45,886
- Я хочу.
- Уже 8:00. Мое любимое ТВ шоу началось.
00:02:45,904 --> 00:02:49,848
Это шоу для детей.
Оно такое тупое.
00:02:49,868 --> 00:02:51,911
Можно я съем торт в гостинной, мам?
00:02:51,928 --> 00:02:54,931
Хорошо, только возьми
своего дедушку с собой.
00:02:55,852 --> 00:02:57,857
- Черт!
- Следи за языком!
00:02:57,895 --> 00:02:59,894
А теперь возращаемся к Терренс и Филлип.
00:02:59,915 --> 00:03:05,859
- Эй, Терренс, я думаю мне нужно пернуть.
- Подожди, прежде чем ты пернешь, потяни мой палец.
00:03:11,847 --> 00:03:12,913
Черт!
00:03:12,933 --> 00:03:17,853
- Хотел бы заработать доллар, Билли?
- Меня зовут не Билли, а Стэн.
00:03:17,887 --> 00:03:20,881
- Черт возьми, ты хочешь доллар или нет?
- Конечно.
00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:24,927
- Ты только должен кое что сделать для меня.
- Я не собираюсь убивать тебя.
00:03:25,848 --> 00:03:27,847
- Почему нет?
- Потому что, мне не нужны проблемы.
00:03:27,868 --> 00:03:32,888
- Я убил моего деда, когда я был в твоем возрасте.
- Оставь меня в покое, дед.
00:03:32,922 --> 00:03:34,915
К чему пришла американская молодежь?
00:03:34,932 --> 00:03:37,881
Ребенок даже не может убить
собственного деда.
00:03:39,879 --> 00:03:44,903
Эй, Терренс, теперь когда ты пернул
я мог бы пернуть тоже.
00:03:45,873 --> 00:03:47,879
Ты пернул.
00:03:48,870 --> 00:03:50,867
Кайл, что ты смотришь?
00:03:50,887 --> 00:03:53,924
- Филлип, хочешь цветок?
- Да, конечно.
00:03:54,844 --> 00:03:57,857
Хорошо тогда, вот тюльпан.
00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:01,864
- Что это? Это ужасно.
- Это Терренс и Филлип.
00:04:01,885 --> 00:04:04,865
- Возьми это, тупой ты хер.
- Что он сказал?
00:04:04,885 --> 00:04:07,875
- Ты мудила, Филлип.
- Что? Что? Что?
00:04:08,892 --> 00:04:11,898
Молодой человек, ты больше
не будешь смотреть это шоу.
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:15,889
- Это недоразвитый тулетный юмор.
- Но все смотрят Терренс и Филлип.
00:04:15,910 --> 00:04:18,900
Правда, значит так?
00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:24,840
- Похоже ты собираешься пернуть.
- Ты абсолютно прав, Терренс.
00:04:26,887 --> 00:04:28,886
- Прелесть.
- Эрик, дорогой...
00:04:28,908 --> 00:04:32,864
...мне только что позвонила
мама твоего друга Кайла.
00:04:32,885 --> 00:04:37,868
Она сказала что это неприличное шоу
и может сделать тебя матершинником.
00:04:37,888 --> 00:04:40,891
Это чушь собачья.
Мама кайла е***ая еврейка.
00:04:40,912 --> 00:04:42,878
Ок, солнышко.
00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:52,850
- Я не собираюсь убивать тебя, дед.
- Неблагодарный.
00:04:52,870 --> 00:04:55,896
- Спокойной ночи, дед.
- Шлюхин сын ты!
00:04:59,871 --> 00:05:00,897
Какого хрена, за что?
00:05:00,914 --> 00:05:04,851
Из-за твоей тупой матери
я пропустил Терренс и Филлип прошлой ночью.
00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:07,920
Что за идея твой матери
позвонить ко всем нашим мамам, прошлой ночью.
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:11,915
- Она сама это сделала.
- Почему это происходит каждый месяц?
00:05:11,935 --> 00:05:16,935
Каждый месяц, примерно в одно и то же время
у мамаши Кайла начинает свербеть в заднице...
00:05:17,856 --> 00:05:20,846
...и я всегда попадаю под раздачу.
- Дети, дети...
00:05:20,866 --> 00:05:25,893
- Коя-чья мать позвонила мне вчера.
- Мне очень интересно, кто мог бы это быть?
00:05:25,913 --> 00:05:31,890
Она проинформировала меня что, некоторые из вас
смотрят непреличное шоу Терренс и Филлип.
00:05:31,911 --> 00:05:35,887
Это шоу плохое, мистер Гаррисон.
Вы правы, мистер Шляпа.
00:05:35,908 --> 00:05:38,920
Такие шоу как Терренс и Филлип
мы называем туалетным юмором.
00:05:39,841 --> 00:05:42,868
Они не расширяют ваш кругозор.
00:05:42,898 --> 00:05:46,889
Дети, такие шоу
бесмыссленый мерзкий мусор.
00:05:46,909 --> 00:05:49,878
Кенни, почему ты опоздал?
00:05:52,909 --> 00:05:54,915
Ок, Кенни, садись.
00:05:54,936 --> 00:05:58,926
Как я уже говорил, родители Саус Парка
расстроены потому что...
00:05:59,847 --> 00:06:01,849
Да, Кенни, что?
00:06:01,894 --> 00:06:04,873
Я думал ты только что пришел из туалета.
00:06:04,894 --> 00:06:07,843
Ладно, ладно, иди.
00:06:07,864 --> 00:06:11,860
Как я говорил, вы наслаждаетесь шоу даже
если оно не осонованно на реальных событиях.
00:06:11,901 --> 00:06:14,928
В жизни намного больше,
чем два пердящих человека.
00:06:15,848 --> 00:06:19,875
Всегда, на протяжении всей истории,
плохие шоу существовали.
00:06:19,895 --> 00:06:21,892
Обычно их закрывали.
00:06:21,916 --> 00:06:27,879
Вам следует просвещать умы,
более интеллигентными развлечениями.
00:06:27,906 --> 00:06:31,893
- Воняет как будто ты там корову зарезал, Кенни.
- Дети, обратите внимание!
00:06:31,913 --> 00:06:36,904
Я собираюсь присоединиться к вашим родителям,
что бы вы больше никогда не смотрели Терренс и Филлип.
00:06:36,924 --> 00:06:39,893
- Что?
- Никогда не смотреть Терренс и Филлип?
00:06:39,927 --> 00:06:43,867
Имнно, дети. Вопросы имеются?
Да, Стэнли?
00:06:43,888 --> 00:06:46,924
Это нормально убить кого то,
если он хочет этого?
00:06:47,871 --> 00:06:50,888
- Ты о чем?
- Мой дед постоянно просит убить его.
00:06:50,908 --> 00:06:54,938
- Иногда я задаюсь вопросом, должен ли я.
- Тогда тебе следовало бы. Я думаю человек имеет право умереть, если хочет.
00:06:55,859 --> 00:06:58,856
- Правда?
- Да. Один чувак по имени Джек Кеворкян...
00:06:58,876 --> 00:07:02,846
...ходит и убивает людей,
которые попросят его и у него нет никаких проблем.
00:07:02,873 --> 00:07:05,910
Может мы попросим его
убить мамашу кайла?
00:07:05,930 --> 00:07:08,913
Вобщем, это нормально помочь кому-нибудь
с суицидом, мистер Гаррисон?
00:07:09,844 --> 00:07:13,900
Стэн, я бы не прикоснулся к этому
даже 20-метровым шестом.
00:07:23,328 --> 00:07:29,328
Не могу поверить, что мы пропустим Терренс и Филлип сегодня.
Мне кажется у меня уже начались ломки.
00:07:31,266 --> 00:07:34,296
Чувак, не беспокойся, мы можем посмотреть их
у меня дома, родителей не будет до поздна.
00:07:34,316 --> 00:07:36,306
Разве там не будет твоего деда?
00:07:36,326 --> 00:07:39,303
Чувак, просто убей его.
Может быть он даст тебе денег.
00:07:39,323 --> 00:07:41,279
- Привет, дети.
- Привет, Шеф.
00:07:41,300 --> 00:07:42,330
- Как поживаете?
- Плохо.
00:07:42,350 --> 00:07:45,330
- Почему плохо?
- Шеф, это нормально убить твоего деда?
00:07:45,350 --> 00:07:49,294
Стэн, ты не можешь убить моего деда,
он уже мертв.
00:07:49,314 --> 00:07:53,308
- Я имею ввиду убить моего деда.
- Нет, я не думаю что это нормально, Стэн.
00:07:53,328 --> 00:07:56,301
- Я думаю это незаконно.
- Чувак, я же говорил тебе.
00:07:56,321 --> 00:08:00,338
Да, но что если он хочет умереть,
потому что старый и просит помочь?
00:08:00,359 --> 00:08:04,325
Да, типа помощь в самоубийстве.
Что насчет этого?
00:08:05,329 --> 00:08:08,356
Я бы не прикоснулся к этому
и 40-метровым шестом.
00:08:09,313 --> 00:08:12,289
В чем дело, почему никто
не хочет говорить об этом?
00:08:12,310 --> 00:08:15,356
Раньше я была не осведомлена
об этом ужасном шоу.
00:08:16,273 --> 00:08:18,353
У меня есть клип, что бы
продемонстрировать что я имею ввиду.
00:08:19,274 --> 00:08:21,271
- Филлип, угадай если смогешь?
- Что смогешь?
00:08:21,291 --> 00:08:23,310
Пердеж.
00:08:24,278 --> 00:08:27,334
Судя по всему, это должно быть смешным.
00:08:27,355 --> 00:08:30,338
Он пернул прямо на его голову.
00:08:31,318 --> 00:08:35,291
Запретить просмотр этого шоу
нашим детям, не достаточно.
00:08:35,312 --> 00:08:41,312
Нам нужно бойкотировать всю сеть.
Кто за?
00:08:45,343 --> 00:08:49,280
Мне кажется я подцепил эту инфекцию
от Кенни.
00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:54,260
- У меня зеленые-яблочные брызги.
- Зеленые-яблочные брызги.
00:08:57,358 --> 00:09:00,324
Привет, дед,
я привел друзей посмотерть тв, если можно.
00:09:00,345 --> 00:09:04,271
Билли, помоги деду вставить вилку
в эту розетку.
00:09:04,292 --> 00:09:07,285
- Нет, дед, мне не нужны проблемы.
- Убей меня, черт подери.
00:09:07,305 --> 00:09:10,345
- Я даже не могу убить оленя.
- Тогда пусть твои друзья сделают это.
00:09:11,266 --> 00:09:13,345
- Ты можешь убить меня.
- Я никого не убиваю...
00:09:14,266 --> 00:09:16,346
...пока меня не выведут из себя.
- Это правда?
00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:19,296
Тогда позволь я скажу тебе кое что, жирдяй...
00:09:19,316 --> 00:09:23,350
...твоя мамаша была тут недавно,
и я отымел её как маленькую сучку.
00:09:24,270 --> 00:09:25,283
Ага.
00:09:25,304 --> 00:09:30,274
Я выкопал скелет твоей пробабушки
и проделал тоже самое с ней.
00:09:30,294 --> 00:09:33,354
- Отборный кусок задницы.
- Эй, кусок дерьма, я убью тебя!
00:09:34,275 --> 00:09:36,351
- Вот это дух, бочка.
- Пошли, Картман, он просто пытается спровоцировать тебя.
00:09:37,272 --> 00:09:40,331
- Не говори так, про мою мать!
- Мы посмотрим Филлип и Терренс на кухне.
00:09:40,352 --> 00:09:44,272
Я говорил тебе как
я отодрал очко твоего папаши, толстяк?
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:48,305
- Я не верю тебе, сукин ты сын!
- Картман, поешь кексиков.
00:09:48,326 --> 00:09:51,273
- Чувак, кексики, давай?
- Я не знаю что делать?
00:09:51,293 --> 00:09:53,352
- Мой дед реально хочет умереть.
- Я же говорил тебе, это номрально.
00:09:54,273 --> 00:09:56,300
- Может спросить совет Иисуса.
- Точно.
00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:59,323
А теперь вернемся на горячую линию
к "Иисус и ребята".
00:09:59,344 --> 00:10:04,324
Да, верьте в меня и вы
найдете умиротворение. Первый звонок?
00:10:04,344 --> 00:10:09,338
- Это Иисус?
- Да. Вам нужно убавить громкость ТВ, из-за него фидбек.
00:10:09,358 --> 00:10:13,274
- Извините. Это Мартин...
- Мартин из Аспен Парк, да я знаю.
00:10:13,295 --> 00:10:18,318
- Как ты нахрен узнал это?
- Может потому что я сын Божий, умник. Еще вопросы имеются?
00:10:18,339 --> 00:10:22,276
А, да. У меня есть кузин который
жульничал на экзамене...
00:10:22,296 --> 00:10:26,319
Скажи маленькому Грегори, что жульничество
это ложь, а ложь это неправильно, не важно в какой ситуации.
00:10:26,340 --> 00:10:29,342
Ок. Спасибо за совет, Иисус.
00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:32,269
- Следующий звонок. Вы в эфире.
- Иисус?
00:10:32,290 --> 00:10:35,350
- Да, сын мой.
- Это нормально, убить кого нибудь...
00:10:36,271 --> 00:10:40,297
...если он спрашивает тебя об этом,
типа помощи в самоубийстве. Это нормально?
00:10:40,318 --> 00:10:42,270
- Сын мой...
- Да?
00:10:42,291 --> 00:10:45,275
...Я бы не прикоснулся к этому
и 60-метровым шестом. Следующий звонок.
00:10:45,295 --> 00:10:46,342
- Черт подери!
- Я слышал это.
00:10:47,262 --> 00:10:51,288
- Что за хрень со всеми?
- Эй, парни, Терренс и Филлип начались.
00:10:51,309 --> 00:10:54,325
- Вы не думаете, что нам попадет за то что мы смотрим это?
- Кайл, не будь таким ссыклом.
00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:58,269
Да, только потому что твоя мама тупая сука,
не значит что мы должны страдать.
00:10:58,286 --> 00:11:00,346
Картман, не называй мою маму сукой!
00:11:01,263 --> 00:11:05,313
Сука.
Твоя мама с-с-с-ука.
00:11:05,330 --> 00:11:07,320
Вернмся к Терренс и Филлип.
00:11:07,341 --> 00:11:12,260
- Филлип, хотел бы съесть, фасоли?
- О да, я люблю фасоль.
00:11:12,281 --> 00:11:17,337
- Могу поспорить, я знаю что произойдет.
- Билли, не возражаешь подержать это для деда, пожалуйста.
00:11:17,358 --> 00:11:20,355
Ок, дед, просто отойди с экрана.
00:11:21,275 --> 00:11:25,275
- Эй, Филлип, кажется я могу начать пердеть из за фасоли.
- Ну только не перди на меня, Терренс.
00:11:25,312 --> 00:11:28,306
Чуваки, он опять собирается
пернуть ему на голову.
00:11:28,346 --> 00:11:31,312
Эй, ты все пропустишь, Кенни.
00:11:31,333 --> 00:11:34,359
- Ты такой засранец, Терренс.
- Это точно.
00:11:39,327 --> 00:11:44,271
- Кенни, ты пропустишь пердежь.
- Боже, что за хренью вы занимаетесь?
00:11:44,291 --> 00:11:47,337
Мы не смотрим Терренс и Филлип,
я клянусь, только Картман смотрит их.
00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:51,341
Нет, я говорю что за хрень
ты делаешь с дедом?
00:11:53,339 --> 00:11:56,355
Затяни потуже, Билли.
00:11:59,269 --> 00:12:02,263
Ты тупица!
Ты пытался убить деда.
00:12:02,283 --> 00:12:05,323
- Я звоню маме.
- Черт. Я был так близок.
00:12:05,343 --> 00:12:08,286
Четыре мальчика, из Саус Парк, Колорадо...
00:12:08,307 --> 00:12:12,266
...пытались жестоко убить
невинного дедушку.
00:12:12,287 --> 00:12:17,290
Мальчики, что подтолкнуло вас к этому
и превратило вас в демонических сволочей.
00:12:17,311 --> 00:12:20,320
Мы не знали что делалаи,
мы просто сидели и смотрели Терренс и Филлип и...
00:12:20,341 --> 00:12:24,311
Терренс и Филлип?
Так значит всему виной это шоу.
00:12:24,332 --> 00:12:29,341
Разумы эти мальчиков были испорченны
мусором на телевидении...
00:12:30,262 --> 00:12:32,325
...и мы сыты этим по горло.
00:12:32,346 --> 00:12:34,319
О боже. О боже.
00:12:34,339 --> 00:12:37,359
Мы должны остановить эту сажу из эфира.
00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:43,273
Мы будем маршировать к телекомпании
и протестовать, пока наши запросы не удовлетворят.
00:12:43,293 --> 00:12:46,310
Нью-Йорк, мы идем!
00:12:52,401 --> 00:12:55,434
Мы доносим слово
до этого завдения...
00:12:55,451 --> 00:13:00,461
...мы требуем лучшего телевидения
для наших детей.
00:13:01,402 --> 00:13:05,448
Мы хотим более качественного телевидения,
как "Полный дом".
00:13:07,493 --> 00:13:13,473
- Я думаю, вы заразили меня кишечной инфекцией, мистер Гаррисон.
- Нет нет, это маленькая сволочь Кенни, заразил меня.
00:13:14,423 --> 00:13:18,486
- Оу мэр, вы там подливку делали?
- У меня только что был коричневый малыш.
00:13:23,411 --> 00:13:29,410
- Чуваки, это круто когда родителей нет дома.
- Я надеюсь они будут протестовать против тв шоу вечно.
00:13:29,435 --> 00:13:33,415
- Билли, подойди, я хочу показать тебе кое-что.
- Мне обязательно?
00:13:33,435 --> 00:13:35,455
Да, обязательно, ты маленький хер!
00:13:35,475 --> 00:13:38,424
Я понял, что причина по который
ты не хочешь убивать меня, Билли...
00:13:38,446 --> 00:13:41,448
...в том, что ты не понимаешь
что я чувствую.
00:13:41,493 --> 00:13:47,439
Но теперь, я нашел способ показать тебе
какого это, быть дедом.
00:13:48,460 --> 00:13:50,453
Эй, ты что делаешь?
00:13:52,467 --> 00:13:55,450
- Что они там делают?
- Я не знаю.
00:13:55,471 --> 00:14:00,437
Теперь ты увидишь, какого это,
быть таким старым как я. Ты готов?
00:14:00,458 --> 00:14:02,460
Наверное.
00:14:12,482 --> 00:14:16,469
- Ок, теперь выпусти меня.
- Еще не все.
00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:19,436
Выпусти меня, дед!
00:14:19,456 --> 00:14:22,426
Я так не могу больше.
Эта музыка ужасна.
00:14:22,447 --> 00:14:25,490
Она отстойная, тупая
и при этом страшно успокаивающая.
00:14:26,410 --> 00:14:29,463
Все. Ты ты знаешь какого это
быть дедом.
00:14:33,404 --> 00:14:36,410
Дедушка, я понятия не имел
какого это для тебя.
00:14:36,431 --> 00:14:40,418
- Теперь я понимаю.
- Так теперь ты убьешь меня, Билли?
00:14:40,439 --> 00:14:42,479
Конечно, убью, дедушка. Убью.
00:14:44,442 --> 00:14:48,498
- Не похоже что наш проетст работает.
- Он заработает. Должен.
00:14:49,446 --> 00:14:51,489
Смотрите, это президент компании.
00:14:52,410 --> 00:14:54,493
Дамы и господа, меня зовут Джон Ворсон.
00:14:55,413 --> 00:14:59,497
Я приготовил заявление
в защиту телеканала.
00:15:01,424 --> 00:15:02,490
Иди на**й.
00:15:03,484 --> 00:15:06,433
Спасибо, дамы и господа.
Если есть какие ниудь вопросы...
00:15:06,454 --> 00:15:10,404
...мы можете направлять их
прямо к той кирпичной стене.
00:15:10,425 --> 00:15:14,458
Эй, ты не уйдешь так!
00:15:17,442 --> 00:15:21,432
Ну все,
больше никаких Мистеров хороших протестов.
00:15:21,453 --> 00:15:23,489
Время для плана Б.
00:15:24,486 --> 00:15:27,485
Кэрол, где здесь туалеты?
00:15:28,407 --> 00:15:32,406
Прямо там. Тебе нужно скинуть
друзей в басейн?
00:15:32,427 --> 00:15:34,493
Да, в самом деле.
00:15:36,464 --> 00:15:39,474
Ок, дед, все что тебе нужно, это сидеть там.
Мы сделаем все остальное.
00:15:39,494 --> 00:15:42,464
- Ты привязал корову?
- Да, готово.
00:15:43,415 --> 00:15:45,438
Ок, давайте, парни.
00:15:46,475 --> 00:15:50,415
- Почему бы нам просто не пристрелить его?
- Ты тупица Картман, это должно выглядеть натурально...
00:15:50,435 --> 00:15:53,402
...или нас посадят.
- Да, тупица.
00:15:53,439 --> 00:15:57,459
Отлично, Билли,
еще немного повыше.
00:15:58,406 --> 00:16:01,403
Телекомпания не принимает нас всерьез.
00:16:01,423 --> 00:16:05,446
В прошлом, люди умирали
за то, во что верили.
00:16:05,467 --> 00:16:10,427
Мы готовы делать то же самое.
Готовы?
00:16:10,448 --> 00:16:15,485
Мистер МакКормик, вы будете мученником
для нас всех. Бог в помощь.
00:16:16,405 --> 00:16:21,478
Мы не позволим этим полоумным корпорациям,
губить умы наших детей.
00:16:21,499 --> 00:16:23,442
Запускайте!
00:16:27,426 --> 00:16:33,425
Мы будем следовать за ним, один за другим
если это потребуется.
00:16:34,430 --> 00:16:38,483
- Ты готов, дед?
- Ясен красен.
00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:43,423
Код шесть. 105 на север, Дорога 52.
00:16:47,461 --> 00:16:49,441
Продолжайте.
00:16:50,418 --> 00:16:53,434
Ок, начинаем.
Пока, дедушка. Было приятно знать тебя.
00:16:53,455 --> 00:16:55,435
Режь уже гребаную веревку!
00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:58,451
Что это?
00:16:58,479 --> 00:17:02,419
Выглядить как смерть.
00:17:03,476 --> 00:17:07,439
Давно пора,
ты ленивая задница, шлюхин сын!
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:10,447
Давай, начинай!
Что за...?
00:17:11,427 --> 00:17:15,454
- Эй, он идет к нам.
- Почему смерть идет к нам?
00:17:21,418 --> 00:17:24,401
- Помогите!
- Сваливаем, сваливаем, сваливаем!
00:17:25,472 --> 00:17:27,481
Что нам делать?
00:17:28,425 --> 00:17:31,448
В течении дня,
все больше и больше жителей Саус Парка...
00:17:31,469 --> 00:17:36,439
...продолжает стрелять своими телами в
здание телекомпании.
00:17:36,459 --> 00:17:40,412
Сейчас телекомпания
под невероятным прессингом...
00:17:40,433 --> 00:17:43,470
...и потеряла почти 20%
своих спонсоров.
00:17:44,420 --> 00:17:47,419
- Кэрэл, я думаю это твой мальчик.
- Спасибо.
00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:50,410
Что случилось Стэнли, солнышко?
Ты что то разбил?
00:17:50,431 --> 00:17:53,468
Мам, тут смерть!
И она пытается забрать нас с собой!
00:17:53,488 --> 00:17:56,428
Тебе нужно оставить мамочку в покое.
00:17:56,448 --> 00:17:59,492
Я делаю кое-что важное
для твоего блага.
00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:02,448
- Но, мам...!
- Поговори с отцом.
00:18:02,469 --> 00:18:04,485
- Ты включил обогреватель?
- Смерть ломится в дверь!
00:18:05,406 --> 00:18:07,489
Поддерживай температуру ниже 25.
Позаботься о дедушке.
00:18:10,439 --> 00:18:14,430
Черт подери. Если родителе меньше беспокоились
о том что их дети смотрят по ТВ...
00:18:14,450 --> 00:18:18,496
...а больше о том что происходит в жизни своих детей,
то все было бы лучше.
00:18:19,417 --> 00:18:24,461
Родители обижаются, потому что они полагаются
на ТВ как на няню и учителя.
00:18:34,479 --> 00:18:36,484
- Точно, чувак.
- Хорошая мысль.
00:18:37,486 --> 00:18:40,459
Быстро, прыгаем в окно!
00:18:47,536 --> 00:18:50,613
Вернись сюда,
ты напыщенный сын женоподобной!
00:18:52,527 --> 00:18:54,610
Не дай ему тронуть себя,
если он тронет тебя ты умрешь.
00:18:55,531 --> 00:18:57,550
Я здесь, шлюхин сын!
00:19:02,548 --> 00:19:05,618
Терренс, какого цвета ветер?
00:19:07,528 --> 00:19:10,548
Не знаю. Почему бы тебе не проверить?
00:19:10,589 --> 00:19:14,585
Ты пернул!
00:19:15,563 --> 00:19:18,525
Эй, Филлип, знаешь
как пахнет у меня в скафандре?
00:19:18,543 --> 00:19:24,542
- Нет, Терренс, почему бы тебе не рассказать?
- Ну, это воняет грязным пердежом.
00:19:26,557 --> 00:19:27,559
Эй, смотрите!
00:19:28,604 --> 00:19:30,556
Еще разок.
00:19:33,614 --> 00:19:36,577
Твердолобые родители из Саус Парка...
00:19:36,598 --> 00:19:41,564
...продолжают убиваться
об стену здания телекомпании, один за другим.
00:19:41,585 --> 00:19:45,572
Что еще хуже, кишечная инфекция
которая распостраняется...
00:19:45,589 --> 00:19:50,609
Подождите. Президент компании
хочет сделать завяление.
00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:54,589
- Подождите, подождите.
- Дамы и господа...
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:59,600
...ваша срако-нацисткая тактика
выгнать нас от вони ваших гниющих фекалий...
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:02,543
...сработала.
00:20:03,551 --> 00:20:07,607
Поэтому сегодня, мы официально
снимаем Терренса и Филлипа с телеканала...
00:20:08,528 --> 00:20:13,568
...и заменяем их повторным показом
"Она шериф", с Сюзанной Сомерс.
00:20:13,588 --> 00:20:17,565
А теперь убирайтесь отсюда
и забирайте свою диарею с собой.
00:20:20,566 --> 00:20:23,556
Теперь, в конце концов,
мы возращаемся к нормальности.
00:20:23,576 --> 00:20:25,573
- Эй, Филлип.
- Да, Терренс?
00:20:25,593 --> 00:20:30,587
- Помоему у меня пенни застряло в заднице?
- Не знаю, дай гляну.
00:20:30,607 --> 00:20:35,533
Не смотри туда, Филлип,
он собирается пернуть.
00:20:36,574 --> 00:20:39,618
Мы прерываем эту программу
на громкую заставку.
00:20:46,585 --> 00:20:50,579
О боже, они убили Кенни!
Ты сволочь.
00:20:50,599 --> 00:20:53,589
Походу смерть, гналась
за Кенни, все это время.
00:20:53,609 --> 00:20:57,579
Эй, ты должна убить меня.
00:20:57,599 --> 00:20:59,579
Это не справедливо, черт подери!
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:03,596
Мой дед просил меня убить его,
и я убил.
00:21:07,524 --> 00:21:10,564
Билли...
00:21:10,584 --> 00:21:13,574
- Дедушка?
- Да, Билли.
00:21:13,594 --> 00:21:18,538
Меня зовут не Билли, дедушка.
Что с тобой? Почему ты выглядишь изможденным?
00:21:18,558 --> 00:21:22,528
Я просил тебя, убить меня, Билли,
но я был не прав.
00:21:22,549 --> 00:21:26,579
- Теперь, мне суждено провести вечность в лимбе.
- Лимб?
00:21:26,599 --> 00:21:29,569
Я был не прав, подтолкнув
тебя на это.
00:21:29,589 --> 00:21:32,619
Как и ты не прав,
делать это с маленьким Билли.
00:21:33,540 --> 00:21:37,610
Ты так одержим тем, что бы закончить свою жизнь,
что совсем не думаешь о его жизни.
00:21:38,527 --> 00:21:43,593
- Ты должен ждать, когда умрешь естественной смертью.
- Но я уже жду 25 лет!
00:21:43,614 --> 00:21:48,520
Пусть природа позаботится об этом,
или закончишь в лимбе.
00:21:48,541 --> 00:21:53,587
Естественной смертью, Билли,
естественной смертью.
00:21:56,589 --> 00:21:59,545
Ладно, парни, пошли по домам.
00:22:06,543 --> 00:22:08,566
- Вот где они.
- Мы сделали это, сын.
00:22:08,587 --> 00:22:12,543
- Мы выиграли битву, за ваше благополучие.
- Что?
00:22:12,564 --> 00:22:14,610
Мы добились снятия Терренс и Филлип с эфира.
00:22:15,544 --> 00:22:19,564
- Ты сукин сын, твоя мать отстой!
- Но посмотрите что показывают теперь.
00:22:20,561 --> 00:22:25,538
- А теперь вернемся к Она Шерифф.
- Нет! Боже, нет!
00:22:25,558 --> 00:22:30,561
- Ты стоял за всеми этими проделаками.
- Ты тупая шлюха, которая начала это.
00:22:30,595 --> 00:22:32,544
Что он сказал?
00:22:32,566 --> 00:22:35,578
- Сам такой, жополиз.
- Что, что, что?!
00:22:35,599 --> 00:22:39,545
Все, возращаемся в Нью-Йорк!
00:22:39,566 --> 00:22:43,572
Стэн, теперь когда Терренс и Филлип сняли с эфира
что мы будем делать для развлечения?
00:22:43,593 --> 00:22:49,530
- Не знаю, мы могли бы начать нюхать бензин.
- Мой дядя говорит, что курить крэк - это круто.
00:22:49,551 --> 00:22:52,594
Эй, почему бы не пойти
посмотреть те порно фильмы?
00:22:53,611 --> 00:22:57,557
- Что ты делаешь, дед?
- Я собираюсь в путешествие по Африке.
00:22:57,578 --> 00:23:03,524
Вы знали что более 400 человек
львы съедают в Африке, каждый год.
00:23:03,545 --> 00:23:06,529
Это мой глупый дедушка.
00:23:06,539 --> 00:23:09,029
Переведено на Нотабеноиде
http://notabenoid.com/book/13027/42449
00:23:09,039 --> 00:23:10,029
Переводчики: email
eng__English.srt
eng__English.srt
00:00:04,797 --> 00:00:06,257
We should get your bitch ass
back in the kitchen
00:00:06,382 --> 00:00:08,843
and make me some pie.
00:00:08,968 --> 00:00:11,679
That is a hoot and a holler.
00:00:11,804 --> 00:00:13,472
Anyway, this next episode
00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:15,474
is definitely Trey and I's
most favorite episode.
00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:17,059
It's called "Death."
00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:19,061
In it, Stan's grandpa
wants to die,
00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:22,690
and all the parents in South
Park are protesting a TV show.
00:00:22,815 --> 00:00:24,942
Matt and Trey,
let's get right to the point.
00:00:25,067 --> 00:00:26,527
Should old people
legally be allowed to die
00:00:26,652 --> 00:00:28,404
at the hand of a loved one?
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:30,698
Matt and I are both
firm believers in euthanasia.
00:00:30,823 --> 00:00:32,700
We think that once you
get to be a certain age,
00:00:32,825 --> 00:00:35,369
things just get to be
too boring and painful,
00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:37,872
and you should be able to,
well, you know,
00:00:37,997 --> 00:00:39,290
by people you love.
00:00:39,415 --> 00:00:41,083
That's why I've asked my family
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:43,127
to put a bullet in my head
when I turn 30.
00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:45,421
So, who are
this Terrance and Phillip,
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:46,881
and why do they sound
so different?
00:00:47,006 --> 00:00:48,716
"Terrance and Phillip"
is a show
00:00:48,841 --> 00:00:50,509
that the boys in South Park
like to watch,
00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:52,511
and the truth is,
they're Canadian.
00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:54,972
That's why they're so silly.
00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:57,933
How many lives would you say
that Kenny has left?
00:00:58,059 --> 00:01:01,562
Will they eventually run out,
kind of like a video game?
00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:03,314
There's something
that people have to understand
00:01:03,439 --> 00:01:05,107
about this whole Kenny mess.
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,901
Trey and I created Kenny,
00:01:07,026 --> 00:01:08,903
so if we want to kill him,
we can.
00:01:09,028 --> 00:01:09,904
That's our right.
00:01:10,029 --> 00:01:12,031
Leave us alone.
00:01:12,156 --> 00:01:13,741
So, are you guys
as anti-Semitic
00:01:13,866 --> 00:01:15,910
as some might believe?
00:01:16,035 --> 00:01:17,328
You know, a lot of people
have accused
00:01:17,453 --> 00:01:19,121
"South Park" of anti-Semitism,
00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:21,540
but I am Jewish
and proud of my heritage,
00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:22,917
and so I can say
with some certainty
00:01:23,042 --> 00:01:25,461
that I am not anti-Semitic.
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:27,922
I am, however.
00:01:28,047 --> 00:01:30,925
So now, sit back, relax,
and enjoy "Death."
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:45,981
♪ I'm going down
to South Park ♪
00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:47,775
♪ Gonna have
myself a time ♪
00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:49,568
♪ Friendly faces
everywhere ♪
00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:51,445
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:52,905
♪ Going down
to South Park ♪
00:01:53,030 --> 00:01:54,615
♪ Gonna leave my
woes behind ♪
00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:56,325
♪ Ample parking
day or night ♪
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:58,035
♪ People spouting:
"Howdy neighbor." ♪
00:01:58,160 --> 00:01:59,537
♪ Headed on up
to South Park ♪
00:01:59,662 --> 00:02:00,871
♪ Gonna see if
I can't unwind ♪
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,168
♪ So come on down
to South Park ♪
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,546
♪ And meet some
friends of mine ♪
00:02:08,671 --> 00:02:11,674
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:13,926
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:16,679
♪ Happy birthday,
dear Grandpa ♪
00:02:18,222 --> 00:02:20,558
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
00:02:20,683 --> 00:02:23,644
Now, blow out
the candles, Grandpa.
00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:27,148
Hooray!
00:02:27,273 --> 00:02:29,316
How's it feel
to be 102, Paps?
00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:32,027
Shoot me!
- Make a wish, Grandpa.
00:02:32,153 --> 00:02:33,487
I wish I were dead!
00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:36,031
That's our silly Grandpa.
00:02:36,157 --> 00:02:37,867
I'm not being silly, kill me!
00:02:37,992 --> 00:02:40,035
I'd do it myself,
but I'm too damn old!
00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:42,746
Ooh, who wants ice cream
with their cake?
00:02:42,872 --> 00:02:44,331
Me.
- I will!
00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:46,041
It's 8:00.
My favorite TV show is on.
00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:47,793
That show's for babies.
00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,670
It's so stupid!
00:02:49,795 --> 00:02:50,921
Can I eat my cake
in the living room, Mom?
00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:52,256
Please, can I?
00:02:52,381 --> 00:02:53,507
Oh, all right.
00:02:53,632 --> 00:02:55,509
But take your Grampy with you.
00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:57,761
Ah, damn it!
- Language!
00:02:57,887 --> 00:03:00,181
And now back
to "Terrance and Phillip."
00:03:00,306 --> 00:03:02,683
Hey, Terrance,
I think I have to fart.
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:05,769
Wait, before you do,
pull my thumb.
00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:13,319
Ah, damn it!
00:03:13,444 --> 00:03:15,821
How would you like
to make a dollar, Billy?
00:03:15,946 --> 00:03:17,698
My name's not Billy,
Grandpa, it's Stan.
00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:20,117
Damn it, Billy, do you want
a dollar or don't you?
00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:21,744
Sure.
- Okay.
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,996
You just have to do
one thing for me.
00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:25,915
I'm not gonna
kill you, Grandpa.
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,666
Why not?
- 'Cause I'll get in trouble.
00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:30,252
I killed my grandpa
when I was your age!
00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:31,670
Leave me alone, Grandpa.
00:03:33,339 --> 00:03:35,174
What has America's youth
come to?
00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:38,010
Kids won't even kill
their own grandparents!
00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:41,931
Hey, Terrance,
now that you've farted,
00:03:42,056 --> 00:03:43,849
I think I might fart too.
00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:46,685
Oh! You farted!
00:03:48,771 --> 00:03:50,856
Kyle, bubby,
what are you watching?
00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:52,900
Hey, Phillip,
would you like a flower?
00:03:53,025 --> 00:03:54,526
I sure would, Terrance.
00:03:54,652 --> 00:03:56,195
All righty, then,
here's a tulip.
00:03:58,155 --> 00:03:59,865
What is this?
It's horrible!
00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:01,825
Dude,
it's "Terrance and Phillip."
00:04:01,951 --> 00:04:03,619
Take that, you stupid dick.
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,246
What did he say?
00:04:05,371 --> 00:04:06,872
You're an asshole, Phillip.
00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:08,832
Wh-wh-what?!
00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:10,417
Young man,
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:12,169
you are not to watch
that show anymore.
00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:14,046
It's immature toilet humor.
00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:16,090
But everybody watches
"Terrance and Phillip."
00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:19,218
Oh, really?
Is that so?
00:04:19,343 --> 00:04:21,470
Oh, no, Phillip, looks like
you're about to fart.
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:22,930
You're exactly right,
Terrance.
00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:25,766
Oh, no!
00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:27,851
Sweet.
00:04:27,977 --> 00:04:30,187
Eric, dear, I just got a call
00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:32,856
from your friend Kyle's mother.
00:04:32,982 --> 00:04:35,317
She said
that this show is naughty
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,820
and might make you
a potty mouth.
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:39,113
That's a bunch of crap!
00:04:39,238 --> 00:04:41,073
Kyle's mom is a dirty Jew!
00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:43,075
Oh. Okay, hon.
00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:51,292
I'm not going to
kill you, Grandpa!
00:04:51,417 --> 00:04:52,668
Ingrate!
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,336
Good night, Grandpa!
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,130
You pompous son of a whore!
00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:00,968
Ow! What the hell
was that for?
00:05:01,093 --> 00:05:02,720
That's for
your stupid mother!
00:05:02,845 --> 00:05:04,680
She made me miss "Terrance
and Phillip" last night.
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,307
Yeah, what's the big idea
00:05:06,432 --> 00:05:08,392
having your mom call
all our moms last night?
00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:09,476
Well, I didn't
have her do it.
00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:11,061
She did it on her own.
00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:12,771
Why does this happen
every month?
00:05:12,896 --> 00:05:15,107
It seems like right about
the same time every month
00:05:15,232 --> 00:05:17,568
Kyle's mom gets a hair
up her ass about something
00:05:17,693 --> 00:05:19,445
and I always end up
getting screwed by it.
00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:20,696
Children, children,
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:21,947
a certain student's mother
00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:23,407
called me last night.
00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:24,783
Ah, gee,
I wonder whose mother
00:05:24,908 --> 00:05:26,118
that could've been.
00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:27,494
She informed me
that some of you
00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:29,371
might be watching
a naughty show
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:32,082
called "Terrance and Phillip."
00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:34,668
Watching that show is bad,
Mr. Garrison.
00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:36,170
That's right, Mr. Hat.
00:05:36,295 --> 00:05:37,588
Shows like
"Terrance and Phillip"
00:05:37,713 --> 00:05:39,465
are what we call
"toilet humor."
00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:41,675
They don't expand your minds.
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,887
You see, children,
these kind of shows
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:47,097
are senseless, vile trash.
00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:49,266
Kenny, why are you
late to class?
00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:55,189
Oh, okay, Kenny, be seated.
00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:57,024
Now, as I was saying,
the reason
00:05:57,149 --> 00:05:59,443
the parents of South Park
are so upset is because--
00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:01,904
Yes, Kenny, what is it?
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,655
I thought you just came
from the bathroom.
00:06:05,074 --> 00:06:07,618
Okay, okay, go ahead.
00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:09,912
As I was saying,
you all seem to enjoy the show
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:11,789
even though it isn't
based in reality.
00:06:11,914 --> 00:06:13,999
There's much more to life
than two young men
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:15,876
farting on each other.
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:17,669
And throughout history,
there have always been shows
00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:19,838
that have come and gone
that have been very bad,
00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:22,091
and usually they get taken
right off the air.
00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:24,134
You see, you should be
spending your time
00:06:24,259 --> 00:06:28,055
enlightening your mind with
more intelligent entertainment.
00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:29,848
Whoa! Smells like
you slaughtered a cow
00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:32,184
in there, Kenny!
- Pay attention, children!
00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:34,186
I'm going to join your parents
in requesting
00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:37,231
that you don't watch "Terrance
and Phillip" anymore ever.
00:06:37,356 --> 00:06:38,857
What?
00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:40,109
Not watch
"Terrance and Phillip" ever?
00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:41,610
That's right, children.
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,862
Are there any questions?
Yes, Stanley?
00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:45,989
Is it okay to kill somebody
if they want you to?
00:06:47,783 --> 00:06:48,992
Wh-what do you mean?
00:06:49,118 --> 00:06:50,244
My grandpa keeps asking
00:06:50,369 --> 00:06:51,745
that I kill him all the time,
00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,539
and sometimes I wonder
if I should.
00:06:53,664 --> 00:06:55,124
Well, then, you should--
I think that a person has
00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:56,792
a right to die if they wanna.
- Really?
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,669
Yeah, there's this guy
named Jack Laborkian
00:06:58,794 --> 00:07:00,379
that goes around and murders
people that ask him to,
00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:01,880
and he doesn't get into
any trouble at all.
00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:03,507
Wow!
- Hey!
00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:06,260
Maybe we can get him
to kill Kyle's mom!
00:07:06,385 --> 00:07:07,803
So is it okay
to assist somebody
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,304
with suicide, Mr. Garrison?
00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:11,181
Uh, Stan,
00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:14,143
I'm not touching that one
with a 20-foot pole.
00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:24,695
Man, I can't believe
we're gonna miss
00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:26,280
"Terrance and Phillip" today.
00:07:26,405 --> 00:07:27,781
I think I'm already
having withdrawal.
00:07:30,409 --> 00:07:32,327
Don't worry, dude, we can all
go watch it at my house.
00:07:32,453 --> 00:07:33,787
My parents don't get home
until late.
00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:35,247
But won't your grandpa
be there?
00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:37,166
Yeah.
- Just kill him, dude.
00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:38,876
Maybe he'll give you
some money.
00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:40,669
Hello there, children.
- Hey, Chef.
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,129
How's it going?
- Bad.
00:07:42,254 --> 00:07:43,755
Why bad?
00:07:43,881 --> 00:07:45,132
Chef, is it okay
to kill your grandpa?
00:07:45,257 --> 00:07:47,134
You can't kill
my grandpa, Stan.
00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:50,262
He's already passed on.
- No, I mean kill my grandpa.
00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:52,097
No, I don't think
that's okay, Stan.
00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:54,433
In fact,
I think that's illegal.
00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:56,101
See, I told you, dude.
00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:58,061
Well, yeah, but what if
the grandpa wants to die
00:07:58,187 --> 00:08:00,355
'cause he's really old
and he's just asking for help?
00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:03,108
Yeah, like assisted suicide,
what about that?
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,404
I don't want to touch that
with a 40-foot pole.
00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:10,157
What's the big deal?
00:08:10,282 --> 00:08:11,742
Why won't anybody
talk about this?
00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:13,327
And I myself was not aware
00:08:13,452 --> 00:08:15,370
of this horrible show
until recently.
00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:18,415
I have a clip to demonstrate
exactly what I mean.
00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:20,709
Hey, Phillip, guess what?
- What?
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,420
Fart.
00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:26,298
Now, apparently,
that's supposed to be funny.
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:29,384
He farted right on his head.
00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:32,346
Not allowing our kids
00:08:32,471 --> 00:08:34,932
to watch this show
is not enough.
00:08:35,057 --> 00:08:38,268
We need to boycott
the entire network!
00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:40,437
All those in favor?
00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:47,152
Oh, I think I've caught
a touch of the flu
00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:48,737
from little Kenny this morning.
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,948
I've got
the green apple splatters.
00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:53,450
Heh, green apple splatters.
00:08:57,371 --> 00:08:58,664
Hi, Grandpa,
I brought my friends over
00:08:58,789 --> 00:09:00,582
to watch TV if that's okay.
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:03,669
Billy, help Grandpa
stick this fork in the outlet!
00:09:03,794 --> 00:09:05,337
No, Grandpa,
I'll get in trouble.
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:06,672
Kill me, God damn it!
00:09:06,797 --> 00:09:08,799
No, I can't even kill a deer.
00:09:08,924 --> 00:09:10,384
Well, then, have one of
your little friends do it.
00:09:10,509 --> 00:09:11,802
You can kill me, can't you?
00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:13,470
I would never kill somebody.
00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:14,846
Not unless they pissed me off.
00:09:14,972 --> 00:09:16,431
Oh, is that a fact?
00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:18,809
Well, let me tell you
something, porky,
00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,769
your mom was over here earlier,
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,938
and I humped her
like a little bitch.
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,022
What?
- That's right.
00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:25,065
Grandpa!
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:26,316
And then I dug up
00:09:26,441 --> 00:09:27,818
your great-grandma's skeleton
00:09:27,943 --> 00:09:29,570
and had my way with her too.
- Hey!
00:09:29,695 --> 00:09:31,446
Choice piece of ass,
your great-grandma.
00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:33,407
You piece of crap,
I'll kill you!
00:09:33,532 --> 00:09:35,158
That's the spirit, tubby!
00:09:35,284 --> 00:09:36,660
C'mon, Cartman,
he's just trying to get to you.
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:38,620
Don't talk about my mom
like that!
00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,163
We can go watch "Terrance
and Phillip" in the kitchen.
00:09:40,289 --> 00:09:41,665
I ever tell you
about the time
00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:43,542
I boofed your dad, fatso?
00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:46,169
Ah! I can't believe
that son of a bitch!
00:09:46,295 --> 00:09:48,005
Here, Cartman,
have some Snacky Cakes.
00:09:48,130 --> 00:09:49,423
Ooh, Snacky Cakes?
Good deal.
00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:50,716
I don't know
what to do, dude.
00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:52,050
My grandpa really wants to die.
00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:53,719
I'm telling you, it's okay.
00:09:53,844 --> 00:09:55,220
Maybe you should ask
the Lord for guidance.
00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:56,888
Hey, yeah.
00:09:57,014 --> 00:09:58,181
And now back
to "Jesus and Pals"
00:09:58,307 --> 00:09:59,808
On South Park public access.
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,060
Yea, believe in me
and ye shall find peace.
00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:04,062
First caller,
you're on "Jesus and Pals."
00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:05,856
Yeah, is this Jesus?
00:10:05,981 --> 00:10:07,649
Yes, caller,
you need to turn your TV down.
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,359
That's why you're getting
that weird feedback.
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:11,028
Oh, sorry.
This is Martin.
00:10:11,153 --> 00:10:12,529
Martin from Aspen Park,
yes, I know.
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:14,406
How the hell'd
you know that?
00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:15,907
Well, maybe because
I'm the son of God, brainiac.
00:10:16,033 --> 00:10:17,075
Now, do you have a question?
00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:21,580
Uh, yeah, I have this cousin
who cheated on the SATs--
00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:23,415
Tell little Gregory
that cheating is lying
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,917
and lying is wrong no matter
what the circumstance.
00:10:26,043 --> 00:10:29,254
Oh. Okay, thanks
for the advice, Jesus.
00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:31,089
Next caller,
you're on the air.
00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:33,050
Jesus?
- Yes, my son?
00:10:33,175 --> 00:10:35,469
Jesus, is it okay to kill
somebody if they ask you to
00:10:35,594 --> 00:10:37,012
because they're in
a lot of pain, you know,
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:39,848
like assisted suicide,
is that okay?
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,558
My son...
- Yes?
00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:43,185
I'm not touching that
with a 60-foot pole.
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:44,603
Next caller.
00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:46,271
God damn it!
- I heard that.
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:47,773
What the hell is wrong
with everybody?
00:10:47,898 --> 00:10:49,441
Hey, you guys!
00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:51,443
"Terrance and Phillip" is on!
- Yeah!
00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:52,778
Hey, do you think we'll get
in trouble for watching it?
00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:54,571
Kyle, don't be
such a butthole.
00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,239
Yeah, just 'cause your mom
is a stupid bitch
00:10:56,365 --> 00:10:57,741
doesn't mean the whole world
has to suffer.
00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,201
Don't call my mom
a bitch, Cartman!
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:01,370
A. Bitch.
00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:04,915
Your mom is a b-b-b-bitch.
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:07,042
And now back
to "Terrance and Phillip."
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,211
Hey, Phillip, would you like
to eat some beans?
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,463
Oh, yeah, I love beans!
00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:13,840
Uh-oh, I bet I know
what's coming.
00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:17,219
Billy, would you mind holding
this for Grandpa, please?
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,262
Okay, Grandpa, okay, just,
get out of the way of the TV.
00:11:19,388 --> 00:11:20,972
Hey, Phillip, it looks like
00:11:21,098 --> 00:11:22,683
those beans
might make me fart.
00:11:22,808 --> 00:11:24,559
Well, don't fart on me,
Terrance.
00:11:24,685 --> 00:11:26,937
Dude, he's gonna fart
on his head again!
00:11:28,563 --> 00:11:31,108
Hey, you're gonna miss it,
Kenny!
00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:32,818
You're such an asshole,
Terrance!
00:11:32,943 --> 00:11:34,403
That's right, I am!
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,951
Hurry up, Kenny,
you're gonna miss the fart!
00:11:41,076 --> 00:11:43,537
Jesus, what the hell
are you doing?
00:11:43,662 --> 00:11:45,455
We're not watching "Terrance
and Phillip," I swear.
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:47,249
I mean,
Cartman was watching it.
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:51,253
No, I mean what the hell
are you doing to Grandpa?
00:11:53,505 --> 00:11:56,383
Tug a little harder, Billy.
00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:59,720
Ah!
- You little jerk!
00:11:59,845 --> 00:12:01,638
You were trying
to kill Grandpa!
00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:02,848
I'm telling Mom!
00:12:02,973 --> 00:12:05,058
Damn it, I was so close.
00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:07,519
Four third graders
from South Park, Colorado,
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,646
were found trying
to viciously murder
00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:11,523
an innocent grandfather.
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:13,775
Boys, how did you get driven
so far to the edge?
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:16,778
What changed you into such
demonic little bastards?
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:18,196
We didn't know
what we were doing.
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:19,448
We were just sitting there
watching
00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:20,699
"Terrance and Phillip," and--
00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:22,325
"Terrance and Phillip"? Aha!
00:12:22,451 --> 00:12:23,952
So it is that show
that is to blame.
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,787
These boys' minds
have been tainted
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:29,458
by the garbage on television
that they see,
00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:31,084
and we are fed up!
00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:32,085
Huh?
00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:34,045
Oh, God, oh, God!
00:12:34,171 --> 00:12:37,466
We have to stop this smut
from going on the air!
00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:40,135
We will march to the network
and protest
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:42,637
until our demands are met.
00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:44,931
New York, here we come!
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:55,108
We are spreading the word
to this establishment
00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:57,569
that we demand
better television
00:12:57,694 --> 00:12:59,362
for our children!
00:13:01,031 --> 00:13:04,034
We want more
quality television,
00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:05,535
like "Full House"!
00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:10,457
Ugh, I think you gave me
the stomach flu, Mr. Garrison.
00:13:10,582 --> 00:13:12,459
No, no, it was
that little Kenny bastard
00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:14,252
that gave it to me.
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:17,047
Whoa, Mayor,
you, uh, making gravy in there?
00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:18,924
I just had a brown baby boy.
00:13:23,178 --> 00:13:25,722
Dude, this is sweet
not having parents around.
00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:28,058
Yeah, I hope they protest
TV shows forever.
00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:29,267
Whoopee!
00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:30,477
C'mere, Billy.
00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:31,895
I wanna show you something.
00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:33,438
Aw, do I have to?
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:35,732
Yes, you do,
you little pecker!
00:13:35,857 --> 00:13:38,485
I realized that the reason
you won't kill me
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:41,530
is because you don't understand
how I feel, Billy.
00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:44,157
But now I found a way
to show you
00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:47,953
what it feels like
to be Grandpa.
00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:49,704
Hey, what are you doing?
00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:53,750
What are they doing in there?
00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:55,585
I don't know.
00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:57,295
Now you're about to see
what it's like
00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:58,755
to be as old as me.
00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,173
Are you ready, Billy?
00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:02,717
I-I guess.
00:14:12,853 --> 00:14:14,271
Okay, you can let me out now.
00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:16,731
Not just yet.
00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:19,609
Let me out, Grandpa!
00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:20,861
I can't take it anymore!
00:14:20,986 --> 00:14:22,112
This music is terrible!
00:14:22,237 --> 00:14:23,613
It's-it's cheesy but lame
00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:25,991
and eerily soothing
at the same time!
00:14:26,116 --> 00:14:29,661
That's it! Now you know what
it feels like to be Grandpa!
00:14:32,998 --> 00:14:36,167
Grandpa, I had no idea
how bad it was for you.
00:14:36,293 --> 00:14:37,586
Now I understand.
00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:40,255
So now will you
kill me, Billy?
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,924
Sure I will, Grandpa.
I will.
00:14:44,175 --> 00:14:46,928
It doesn't look like
our protest is working.
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:49,014
It'll work.
It has to.
00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:51,975
Look, it's the president
of the network.
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:55,145
Ladies and gentlemen,
my name is John Warsog.
00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:58,315
I've prepared a statement for
you on behalf of the network.
00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:03,695
you.
00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:05,488
Thank you,
ladies and gentlemen.
00:15:05,614 --> 00:15:07,157
If there are any questions,
you may direct them
00:15:07,282 --> 00:15:08,825
to that brick wall over there.
00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:13,330
Hey! You will not
get away with this!
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:18,710
That does it!
00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:21,546
No more Mr. Nice Protesters!
00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:23,924
It's time for plan B.
00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:27,928
Ooh, Carol,
where are the porta-potties?
00:15:28,053 --> 00:15:29,596
Over there, hon--
what, do you need
00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:31,848
to drop some friends off
at the pool?
00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:33,683
Oh, yes, indeedy.
00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:38,605
Okay, Grandpa, all you
have to do is sit there.
00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:39,814
We'll do the rest.
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:41,358
You got the cow all tied up?
00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:42,692
Yep, all done.
00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:44,569
Okay, c'mon, guys.
00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:47,948
Why don't we just shoot him?
00:15:48,073 --> 00:15:49,115
You dumb-ass, Cartman.
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,367
It has to look natural,
00:15:50,492 --> 00:15:51,701
or else we'll all get busted.
00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:53,036
Yeah, stupid.
00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:54,829
That's good, Billy.
00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:56,581
Little higher, now.
00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:01,252
The network is not
taking us seriously.
00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:03,964
In the past,
people have had to die
00:16:04,089 --> 00:16:05,715
for what they believed in,
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,301
and we are prepared
to do the same!
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:09,427
Ready?
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:14,766
Mr. McKormick, you shall be
a martyr to us all.
00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:16,351
Godspeed.
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:19,521
We will not let
these corporate half-wits
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,982
ruin our children's minds!
00:16:22,107 --> 00:16:23,441
Launch!
00:16:27,237 --> 00:16:30,782
We will all follow suit
one by one
00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:32,242
if that's what it takes!
00:16:34,119 --> 00:16:35,662
Are you ready, Grandpa?
00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:37,622
Does the pope
crap in the woods?
00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:50,051
Carry on.
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:51,553
Okay, here we go.
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,430
Bye, Grandpa,
it was nice knowing you.
00:16:53,555 --> 00:16:55,432
Cut the damn rope already!
00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:58,560
Whoa, what is that?
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:02,230
Whoa, it-it looks like Death!
00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:04,858
It's about time,
00:17:04,983 --> 00:17:07,444
you lazy-ass son of a whore!
00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:09,738
C'mon, let's go!
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:11,239
What the...
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,199
Hey, he's coming towards us.
00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:14,451
Why is Death coming after us?
00:17:17,287 --> 00:17:20,206
Ah!
- Ah!
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:24,044
Help!
- Run, run, run!
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:26,796
What are we gonna do?
00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:29,883
As the day progresses,
00:17:30,008 --> 00:17:31,551
more and more
South Park residents
00:17:31,676 --> 00:17:33,720
continue to slingshot
their bodies
00:17:33,845 --> 00:17:36,598
into the side
of the Toon Central building.
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:39,142
Toon Central is now under
incredible pressure
00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:40,310
to cancel the show
00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:41,519
and has already lost
00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:43,772
over 20% of their sponsors.
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:46,191
Here, Carol,
I think it's your boy.
00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:47,400
Oh, thanks.
00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:48,860
What is it, Stanley, hon?
00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:50,153
Did you break something?
00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:52,280
Mom, Death is here,
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,199
and he's trying
to take us all away with him!
00:17:54,324 --> 00:17:56,451
Stanley, honey,
you need to leave Mommy alone.
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:58,620
I'm doing something
very, very important
00:17:58,745 --> 00:17:59,746
for your little well-being
there.
00:17:59,871 --> 00:18:01,331
Yeah, but Mom!
00:18:01,456 --> 00:18:02,749
Here, honey,
talk to your father.
00:18:02,874 --> 00:18:03,917
Did you turn the heat down?
00:18:04,042 --> 00:18:05,210
Dad, Death is coming--
00:18:05,335 --> 00:18:06,669
Keep the thermostat under 70.
00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:07,921
Take care of your grandfather.
00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:12,342
Damn it! You know,
I think that if parents
00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:14,177
would spend less time
worrying about
00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:15,929
what their kids watch on TV
and more time worrying
00:18:16,054 --> 00:18:17,555
about what's going on
in their kids' lives,
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,349
this world would be
a much better place.
00:18:19,474 --> 00:18:21,351
Yeah, I think that parents
only get so offended
00:18:21,476 --> 00:18:22,936
by television because they
rely on it as a babysitter
00:18:23,061 --> 00:18:24,646
and the sole educator
of their kids.
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,032
Totally, dude.
- Good point, man.
00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:37,867
Ah!
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:39,202
Quick!
Jump through the window!
00:18:47,252 --> 00:18:50,964
Come back here,
you pompous son of a pansy!
00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:52,966
- Ah!
- Don't let him touch you!
00:18:53,091 --> 00:18:54,968
You die if he touches you!
00:18:55,093 --> 00:18:57,262
I'm over here,
you son of a whore!
00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:04,060
Oh, Terrance?
00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:06,187
What color is the wind?
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:08,731
Hmm, I don't know,
why don't you check?
00:19:10,692 --> 00:19:11,776
Oh, you farted!
00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:18,074
Hey, Phillip, you know what
my spacesuit smells like?
00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:19,951
No, Terrance,
why don't you tell me?
00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:23,079
Well, it smells like
a dirty fart.
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:27,375
Hey, look!
00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:30,378
Oh, there's one!
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:37,135
Hours have passed, and still,
the die-hard South Park parents
00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:39,888
are killing themselves in front
of the Toon Central building
00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:41,598
one by one.
00:19:41,723 --> 00:19:43,224
Worse yet, the stomach flu
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:45,602
that seems to be
going around is...
00:19:45,727 --> 00:19:47,061
wait, wait, I'm getting word
00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:48,396
that the president
of the network
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:51,024
is going to make a statement.
00:19:52,317 --> 00:19:53,359
Wait, wait.
00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:55,069
Ladies and gentlemen,
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:57,614
your Nazi-ass tactics
of trying to stink us out
00:19:57,739 --> 00:20:02,243
with your rancid feces...
has worked.
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,204
Therefore,
00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:05,955
today, we will
officially be taking
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,082
"Terrance and Phillip"
off the network
00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:10,668
and replacing it with reruns
of "She's the Sheriff,"
00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:13,546
starring Suzanne Somers.
00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:14,923
Now, get away from here,
00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:16,424
and take your diarrhea
with you!
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,595
Huh?
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,389
Now, at last,
we can return to normality.
00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:25,558
Hey, Phillip?
- Yes, Terrance?
00:20:25,683 --> 00:20:28,603
Is there a penny
stuck in my butt?
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:30,647
I don't know, Terrance,
let me check.
00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:32,482
Uh-oh, don't look there,
Phillip.
00:20:32,607 --> 00:20:34,025
You're gonna get farted on.
00:20:36,486 --> 00:20:38,905
We interrupt this program
to bring you loud static.
00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:44,535
Ah!
00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:50,625
Oh, my God, they killed Kenny!
You bastard!
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,210
Wow, I guess
Death was just coming
00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:53,711
after Kenny the whole time.
00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:56,631
Hey, you were supposed
to kill me!
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:59,842
That's not fair, God damn it!
00:20:59,968 --> 00:21:02,553
My grandpa asked me
to kill him and I did it!
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:06,975
Whoa!
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:10,478
Billy...
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:11,854
Grandpa?
00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:13,564
That's right, Billy.
00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:15,441
My name's not Billy, Grandpa.
00:21:15,566 --> 00:21:16,651
And what's wrong with you?
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,194
Why do you look all haggard?
00:21:18,319 --> 00:21:20,405
I asked you
to kill me, Billy.
00:21:20,530 --> 00:21:22,156
But I was wrong,
00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:25,493
and now I'm forced
to spend eternity in limbo.
00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:27,120
Limbo?
00:21:27,245 --> 00:21:29,539
I was wrong to put you
in that position, Billy.
00:21:29,664 --> 00:21:33,126
Just like you're wrong
to put little Billy in it now.
00:21:33,251 --> 00:21:34,961
You're so obsessed
with ending your life,
00:21:35,086 --> 00:21:37,630
you're not thinking about
what you're doing to his.
00:21:37,755 --> 00:21:41,050
You must wait to die
of natural causes.
00:21:41,175 --> 00:21:43,761
But I've been waiting
for 25 years!
00:21:43,886 --> 00:21:48,057
Let nature run its course,
or else end up in limbo!
00:21:48,182 --> 00:21:50,435
Natural causes, Billy.
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,437
Natural causes...
00:21:56,774 --> 00:21:58,776
C'mon, you guys,
let's go home.
00:22:06,034 --> 00:22:08,661
Here they are.
- Well, we did it, son.
00:22:08,786 --> 00:22:11,164
We fought a battle
for your well-being and won.
00:22:11,289 --> 00:22:12,749
What do you mean?
00:22:12,874 --> 00:22:13,750
We got "Terrance and Phillip"
00:22:13,875 --> 00:22:15,376
taken off the air.
00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:17,420
You son of a bitch!
Your mom sucks!
00:22:17,545 --> 00:22:20,256
But look what they put on.
00:22:20,381 --> 00:22:22,925
And now back
to "She's the Sheriff."
00:22:23,051 --> 00:22:25,219
No! God, no!
00:22:25,345 --> 00:22:28,222
You were the one
behind all these shenanigans!
00:22:28,348 --> 00:22:30,433
Yeah, well, you're
the stupid ho that started it.
00:22:30,558 --> 00:22:32,268
What did he say?
00:22:32,393 --> 00:22:34,187
Up yours, butt-munch!
00:22:34,312 --> 00:22:35,646
Wh-wh-what?!
00:22:35,772 --> 00:22:39,275
C'mon, everybody,
back to New York!
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:40,818
Hey, Stan,
now that "Terrance and Phillip"
00:22:40,943 --> 00:22:42,403
has been taken off the air,
00:22:42,528 --> 00:22:44,405
what are we gonna do
for entertainment?
00:22:44,530 --> 00:22:46,574
I don't know, we-we could
start breathing gas fumes.
00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:49,035
My uncle says that
smoking crack is kinda cool.
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:50,620
Hey, why don't we go watch
00:22:50,745 --> 00:22:51,829
some of those porno
movie thingies?
00:22:51,954 --> 00:22:53,748
Cool!
- Yeah!
00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:55,416
What are you doing, Grandpa?
00:22:55,541 --> 00:22:57,543
I'm planning a trip
to Africa.
00:22:57,668 --> 00:23:00,588
Did you know over 400 people
are eaten naturally
00:23:00,713 --> 00:23:03,091
by lions in Africa every year?
00:23:03,216 --> 00:23:04,801
That's my silly Grandpa.
00:23:07,845 --> 00:23:08,721
Oh!
eng__SDH.srt
eng__SDH.srt
00:00:02,962 --> 00:00:04,672
Oh, jeez.
00:00:04,797 --> 00:00:06,257
We should get your bitch ass
back in the kitchen
00:00:06,382 --> 00:00:08,843
and make me some pie.
- [laughs]
00:00:08,968 --> 00:00:11,679
That is a hoot and a holler.
00:00:11,804 --> 00:00:13,472
Anyway, this next episode
00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:15,474
is definitely Trey and I's
most favorite episode.
00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:17,059
It's called "Death."
00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:19,061
In it, Stan's grandpa
wants to die,
00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:22,690
and all the parents in South
Park are protesting a TV show.
00:00:22,815 --> 00:00:24,942
Matt and Trey,
let's get right to the point.
00:00:25,067 --> 00:00:26,527
Should old people
legally be allowed to die
00:00:26,652 --> 00:00:28,404
at the hand of a loved one?
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:30,698
Matt and I are both
firm believers in euthanasia.
00:00:30,823 --> 00:00:32,700
We think that once you
get to be a certain age,
00:00:32,825 --> 00:00:35,369
things just get to be
too boring and painful,
00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:37,872
and you should be able to,
well, you know,
00:00:37,997 --> 00:00:39,290
by people you love.
00:00:39,415 --> 00:00:41,083
That's why I've asked my family
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:43,127
to put a bullet in my head
when I turn 30.
00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:45,421
So, who are
this Terrance and Phillip,
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:46,881
and why do they sound
so different?
00:00:47,006 --> 00:00:48,716
"Terrance and Phillip"
is a show
00:00:48,841 --> 00:00:50,509
that the boys in South Park
like to watch,
00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:52,511
and the truth is,
they're Canadian.
00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:54,972
That's why they're so silly.
00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:57,933
How many lives would you say
that Kenny has left?
00:00:58,059 --> 00:01:01,562
Will they eventually run out,
kind of like a video game?
00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:03,314
There's something
that people have to understand
00:01:03,439 --> 00:01:05,107
about this whole Kenny mess.
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,901
Trey and I created Kenny,
00:01:07,026 --> 00:01:08,903
so if we want to kill him,
we can.
00:01:09,028 --> 00:01:09,904
That's our right.
00:01:10,029 --> 00:01:12,031
Leave us alone.
00:01:12,156 --> 00:01:13,741
So, are you guys
as anti-Semitic
00:01:13,866 --> 00:01:15,910
as some might believe?
00:01:16,035 --> 00:01:17,328
You know, a lot of people
have accused
00:01:17,453 --> 00:01:19,121
"South Park" of anti-Semitism,
00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:21,540
but I am Jewish
and proud of my heritage,
00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:22,917
and so I can say
with some certainty
00:01:23,042 --> 00:01:25,461
that I am not anti-Semitic.
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:27,922
I am, however.
00:01:28,047 --> 00:01:30,925
So now, sit back, relax,
and enjoy "Death."
00:01:31,050 --> 00:01:34,053
[light music]
00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:44,480
[twangy music]
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:45,981
♪ I'm going down
to South Park ♪
00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:47,775
♪ Gonna have
myself a time ♪
00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:49,568
all: ♪ Friendly faces
everywhere ♪
00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:51,445
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:52,905
♪ Going down
to South Park ♪
00:01:53,030 --> 00:01:54,615
♪ Gonna leave my
woes behind ♪
00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:56,325
♪ Ample parking
day or night ♪
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:58,035
♪ People spouting:
"Howdy neighbor!" ♪
00:01:58,160 --> 00:01:59,537
♪ Headed on up
to South Park ♪
00:01:59,662 --> 00:02:00,871
♪ Gonna see if
I can't unwind ♪
00:02:00,996 --> 00:02:04,667
[singing indistinctly]
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,168
♪ So come on down
to South Park ♪
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,546
♪ And meet some
friends of mine ♪
00:02:08,671 --> 00:02:11,674
all: ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:13,926
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:16,679
♪ Happy birthday,
dear Grandpa ♪
00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:18,097
[moans]
00:02:18,222 --> 00:02:20,558
all: ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
00:02:20,683 --> 00:02:23,644
Now, blow out
the candles, Grandpa.
00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:25,771
[wheezing]
00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:27,148
all: Hooray!
00:02:27,273 --> 00:02:29,316
How's it feel
to be 102, Paps?
00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:32,027
Shoot me!
- Make a wish, Grandpa.
00:02:32,153 --> 00:02:33,487
I wish I were dead!
00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:36,031
[laughs]
That's our silly Grandpa.
00:02:36,157 --> 00:02:37,867
I'm not being silly, kill me!
00:02:37,992 --> 00:02:40,035
I'd do it myself,
but I'm too damn old!
00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:42,746
Ooh, who wants ice cream
with their cake?
00:02:42,872 --> 00:02:44,331
Me.
- I will!
00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:46,041
It's 8:00.
My favorite TV show is on.
00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:47,793
That show's for babies.
00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,670
It's so stupid!
00:02:49,795 --> 00:02:50,921
Can I eat my cake
in the living room, Mom?
00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:52,256
Please, can I?
00:02:52,381 --> 00:02:53,507
Oh, all right.
00:02:53,632 --> 00:02:55,509
But take your Grampy with you.
00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:57,761
Ah, damn it!
- Language!
00:02:57,887 --> 00:03:00,181
And now back
to "Terrance and Phillip."
00:03:00,306 --> 00:03:02,683
Hey, Terrance,
I think I have to fart.
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:05,769
Wait, before you do,
pull my thumb.
00:03:05,895 --> 00:03:08,606
[both fart, laugh]
00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:10,649
[moans]
00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:13,319
[gunshot]
Ah, damn it!
00:03:13,444 --> 00:03:15,821
How would you like
to make a dollar, Billy?
00:03:15,946 --> 00:03:17,698
My name's not Billy,
Grandpa, it's Stan.
00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:20,117
Damn it, Billy, do you want
a dollar or don't you?
00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:21,744
Sure.
- Okay.
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,996
You just have to do
one thing for me.
00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:25,915
I'm not gonna
kill you, Grandpa.
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,666
Why not?
- 'Cause I'll get in trouble.
00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:30,252
I killed my grandpa
when I was your age!
00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:31,670
Leave me alone, Grandpa.
00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:33,214
[both fart, laugh]
00:03:33,339 --> 00:03:35,174
What has America's youth
come to?
00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:38,010
Kids won't even kill
their own grandparents!
00:03:38,135 --> 00:03:39,678
♪♪
00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:41,931
Hey, Terrance,
now that you've farted,
00:03:42,056 --> 00:03:43,849
I think I might fart too.
00:03:43,974 --> 00:03:44,934
[farts]
00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:46,685
Oh! You farted!
00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:48,646
[laughs]
00:03:48,771 --> 00:03:50,856
Kyle, bubby,
what are you watching?
00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:52,900
Hey, Phillip,
would you like a flower?
00:03:53,025 --> 00:03:54,526
I sure would, Terrance.
00:03:54,652 --> 00:03:56,195
All righty, then,
here's a tulip.
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,030
[farts]
00:03:58,155 --> 00:03:59,865
What is this?
It's horrible!
00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:01,825
Dude,
it's "Terrance and Phillip."
00:04:01,951 --> 00:04:03,619
Take that, you stupid dick.
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,246
What did he say?
00:04:05,371 --> 00:04:06,872
You're an asshole, Phillip.
00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:08,832
Wh-wh-what?!
[both laugh]
00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:10,417
Young man,
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:12,169
you are not to watch
that show anymore.
00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:14,046
It's immature toilet humor.
00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:16,090
But everybody watches
"Terrance and Phillip."
00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:19,218
Oh, really?
Is that so?
00:04:19,343 --> 00:04:21,470
Oh, no, Phillip, looks like
you're about to fart.
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:22,930
You're exactly right,
Terrance.
00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:24,014
[farts]
00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:25,766
Oh, no!
00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:27,851
[laughs] Sweet.
00:04:27,977 --> 00:04:30,187
Eric, dear, I just got a call
00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:32,856
from your friend Kyle's mother.
00:04:32,982 --> 00:04:35,317
She said
that this show is naughty
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,820
and might make you
a potty mouth.
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:39,113
That's a bunch of crap!
00:04:39,238 --> 00:04:41,073
Kyle's mom is a dirty Jew!
00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:43,075
Oh. Okay, hon.
00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:51,292
I'm not going to
kill you, Grandpa!
00:04:51,417 --> 00:04:52,668
Ingrate!
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,336
Good night, Grandpa!
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,130
You pompous son of a whore!
00:04:56,255 --> 00:04:59,008
♪♪
00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:00,968
Ow! What the hell
was that for?
00:05:01,093 --> 00:05:02,720
That's for
your stupid mother!
00:05:02,845 --> 00:05:04,680
She made me miss "Terrance
and Phillip" last night.
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,307
Yeah, what's the big idea
00:05:06,432 --> 00:05:08,392
having your mom call
all our moms last night?
00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:09,476
Well, I didn't
have her do it.
00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:11,061
She did it on her own.
00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:12,771
Why does this happen
every month?
00:05:12,896 --> 00:05:15,107
It seems like right about
the same time every month
00:05:15,232 --> 00:05:17,568
Kyle's mom gets a hair
up her ass about something
00:05:17,693 --> 00:05:19,445
and I always end up
getting screwed by it.
00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:20,696
Children, children,
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:21,947
a certain student's mother
00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:23,407
called me last night.
00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:24,783
Ah, gee,
I wonder whose mother
00:05:24,908 --> 00:05:26,118
that could've been.
00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:27,494
She informed me
that some of you
00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:29,371
might be watching
a naughty show
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:32,082
called "Terrance and Phillip."
[all giggling]
00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:34,668
Watching that show is bad,
Mr. Garrison.
00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:36,170
That's right, Mr. Hat.
00:05:36,295 --> 00:05:37,588
Shows like
"Terrance and Phillip"
00:05:37,713 --> 00:05:39,465
are what we call
"toilet humor."
00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:41,675
They don't expand your minds.
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,887
You see, children,
these kind of shows
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:47,097
are senseless, vile trash.
00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:49,266
Kenny, why are you
late to class?
00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:55,189
Oh, okay, Kenny, be seated.
00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:57,024
Now, as I was saying,
the reason
00:05:57,149 --> 00:05:59,443
the parents of South Park
are so upset is because--
00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:01,904
Yes, Kenny, what is it?
- [mumbling]
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,655
I thought you just came
from the bathroom.
00:06:03,781 --> 00:06:04,948
[mumbles loudly]
00:06:05,074 --> 00:06:07,618
Okay, okay, go ahead.
00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:09,912
As I was saying,
you all seem to enjoy the show
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:11,789
even though it isn't
based in reality.
00:06:11,914 --> 00:06:13,999
There's much more to life
than two young men
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:15,876
farting on each other.
[loud diarrhea sounds]
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:17,669
And throughout history,
there have always been shows
00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:19,838
that have come and gone
that have been very bad,
00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:22,091
and usually they get taken
right off the air.
00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:24,134
You see, you should be
spending your time
00:06:24,259 --> 00:06:28,055
enlightening your mind with
more intelligent entertainment.
00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:29,848
Whoa! Smells like
you slaughtered a cow
00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:32,184
in there, Kenny!
- Pay attention, children!
00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:34,186
I'm going to join your parents
in requesting
00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:37,231
that you don't watch "Terrance
and Phillip" anymore ever.
00:06:37,356 --> 00:06:38,857
What?
00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:40,109
Not watch
"Terrance and Phillip" ever?
00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:41,610
That's right, children.
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,862
Are there any questions?
Yes, Stanley?
00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:45,989
Is it okay to kill somebody
if they want you to?
00:06:47,783 --> 00:06:48,992
Wh-what do you mean?
00:06:49,118 --> 00:06:50,244
My grandpa keeps asking
00:06:50,369 --> 00:06:51,745
that I kill him all the time,
00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,539
and sometimes I wonder
if I should.
00:06:53,664 --> 00:06:55,124
Well, then, you should--
I think that a person has
00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:56,792
a right to die if they wanna.
- Really?
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,669
Yeah, there's this guy
named Jack Laborkian
00:06:58,794 --> 00:07:00,379
that goes around and murders
people that ask him to,
00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:01,880
and he doesn't get into
any trouble at all.
00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:03,507
Wow!
- Hey!
00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:06,260
Maybe we can get him
to kill Kyle's mom!
00:07:06,385 --> 00:07:07,803
So is it okay
to assist somebody
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,304
with suicide, Mr. Garrison?
00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:11,181
Uh, Stan,
00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:14,143
I'm not touching that one
with a 20-foot pole.
00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:16,186
[mumbles loudly]
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:17,563
[diarrhea sounds]
00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:18,689
[Kenny yells]
00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:24,695
Man, I can't believe
we're gonna miss
00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:26,280
"Terrance and Phillip" today.
00:07:26,405 --> 00:07:27,781
I think I'm already
having withdrawal.
00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:30,284
[moaning]
00:07:30,409 --> 00:07:32,327
Don't worry, dude, we can all
go watch it at my house.
00:07:32,453 --> 00:07:33,787
My parents don't get home
until late.
00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:35,247
But won't your grandpa
be there?
00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:37,166
Yeah.
- Just kill him, dude.
00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:38,876
Maybe he'll give you
some money.
00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:40,669
Hello there, children.
- Hey, Chef.
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,129
How's it going?
- Bad.
00:07:42,254 --> 00:07:43,755
Why bad?
00:07:43,881 --> 00:07:45,132
Chef, is it okay
to kill your grandpa?
00:07:45,257 --> 00:07:47,134
You can't kill
my grandpa, Stan.
00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:50,262
He's already passed on.
- No, I mean kill my grandpa.
00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:52,097
No, I don't think
that's okay, Stan.
00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:54,433
In fact,
I think that's illegal.
00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:56,101
See, I told you, dude.
00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:58,061
Well, yeah, but what if
the grandpa wants to die
00:07:58,187 --> 00:08:00,355
'cause he's really old
and he's just asking for help?
00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:03,108
Yeah, like assisted suicide,
what about that?
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,404
I don't want to touch that
with a 40-foot pole.
00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:10,157
What's the big deal?
00:08:10,282 --> 00:08:11,742
Why won't anybody
talk about this?
00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:13,327
And I myself was not aware
00:08:13,452 --> 00:08:15,370
of this horrible show
until recently.
00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:18,415
I have a clip to demonstrate
exactly what I mean.
00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:20,709
Hey, Phillip, guess what?
- What?
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,420
Fart.
[farts]
00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:26,298
Now, apparently,
that's supposed to be funny.
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:29,384
[laughs]
He farted right on his head.
00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:32,346
Not allowing our kids
00:08:32,471 --> 00:08:34,932
to watch this show
is not enough.
00:08:35,057 --> 00:08:38,268
We need to boycott
the entire network!
00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:40,437
All those in favor?
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:42,898
[loud diarrhea]
00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:47,152
Oh, I think I've caught
a touch of the flu
00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:48,737
from little Kenny this morning.
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,948
I've got
the green apple splatters.
00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:53,450
[all laughing]
- Heh, green apple splatters.
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:55,410
♪♪
00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:57,246
[moans]
00:08:57,371 --> 00:08:58,664
Hi, Grandpa,
I brought my friends over
00:08:58,789 --> 00:09:00,582
to watch TV if that's okay.
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:03,669
Billy, help Grandpa
stick this fork in the outlet!
00:09:03,794 --> 00:09:05,337
No, Grandpa,
I'll get in trouble.
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:06,672
Kill me, God damn it!
00:09:06,797 --> 00:09:08,799
No, I can't even kill a deer.
00:09:08,924 --> 00:09:10,384
Well, then, have one of
your little friends do it.
00:09:10,509 --> 00:09:11,802
You can kill me, can't you?
00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:13,470
I would never kill somebody.
00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:14,846
Not unless they pissed me off.
00:09:14,972 --> 00:09:16,431
Oh, is that a fact?
00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:18,809
Well, let me tell you
something, porky,
00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,769
your mom was over here earlier,
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,938
and I humped her
like a little bitch.
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,022
What?
- That's right.
00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:25,065
Grandpa!
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:26,316
And then I dug up
00:09:26,441 --> 00:09:27,818
your great-grandma's skeleton
00:09:27,943 --> 00:09:29,570
and had my way with her too.
- Hey!
00:09:29,695 --> 00:09:31,446
Choice piece of ass,
your great-grandma.
00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:33,407
You piece of crap,
I'll kill you!
00:09:33,532 --> 00:09:35,158
That's the spirit, tubby!
00:09:35,284 --> 00:09:36,660
C'mon, Cartman,
he's just trying to get to you.
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:38,620
Don't talk about my mom
like that!
00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,163
We can go watch "Terrance
and Phillip" in the kitchen.
00:09:40,289 --> 00:09:41,665
I ever tell you
about the time
00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:43,542
I boofed your dad, fatso?
00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:46,169
Ah! I can't believe
that son of a bitch!
00:09:46,295 --> 00:09:48,005
Here, Cartman,
have some Snacky Cakes.
00:09:48,130 --> 00:09:49,423
Ooh, Snacky Cakes?
Good deal.
00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:50,716
I don't know
what to do, dude.
00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:52,050
My grandpa really wants to die.
00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:53,719
I'm telling you, it's okay.
00:09:53,844 --> 00:09:55,220
Maybe you should ask
the Lord for guidance.
00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:56,888
Hey, yeah.
00:09:57,014 --> 00:09:58,181
And now back
to "Jesus and Pals"
00:09:58,307 --> 00:09:59,808
On South Park public access.
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,060
Yea, believe in me
and ye shall find peace.
00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:04,062
First caller,
you're on "Jesus and Pals."
00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:05,856
Yeah, is this Jesus?
[feedback whines]
00:10:05,981 --> 00:10:07,649
Yes, caller,
you need to turn your TV down.
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,359
That's why you're getting
that weird feedback.
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:11,028
Oh, sorry.
This is Martin.
00:10:11,153 --> 00:10:12,529
Martin from Aspen Park,
yes, I know.
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:14,406
How the hell'd
you know that?
00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:15,907
Well, maybe because
I'm the son of God, brainiac.
00:10:16,033 --> 00:10:17,075
Now, do you have a question?
00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:21,580
Uh, yeah, I have this cousin
who cheated on the SATs--
00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:23,415
Tell little Gregory
that cheating is lying
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,917
and lying is wrong no matter
what the circumstance.
00:10:26,043 --> 00:10:29,254
Oh. Okay, thanks
for the advice, Jesus.
00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:31,089
Next caller,
you're on the air.
00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:33,050
Jesus?
- Yes, my son?
00:10:33,175 --> 00:10:35,469
Jesus, is it okay to kill
somebody if they ask you to
00:10:35,594 --> 00:10:37,012
because they're in
a lot of pain, you know,
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:39,848
like assisted suicide,
is that okay?
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,558
My son...
- Yes?
00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:43,185
I'm not touching that
with a 60-foot pole.
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:44,603
Next caller.
00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:46,271
God damn it!
- I heard that.
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:47,773
What the hell is wrong
with everybody?
00:10:47,898 --> 00:10:49,441
Hey, you guys!
00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:51,443
"Terrance and Phillip" is on!
- Yeah!
00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:52,778
Hey, do you think we'll get
in trouble for watching it?
00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:54,571
Kyle, don't be
such a butthole.
00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,239
Yeah, just 'cause your mom
is a stupid bitch
00:10:56,365 --> 00:10:57,741
doesn't mean the whole world
has to suffer.
00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,201
Don't call my mom
a bitch, Cartman!
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:01,370
A. Bitch.
00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:04,915
Your mom is a b-b-b-bitch.
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:07,042
And now back
to "Terrance and Phillip."
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,211
Hey, Phillip, would you like
to eat some beans?
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,463
Oh, yeah, I love beans!
00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:13,840
Uh-oh, I bet I know
what's coming.
00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:17,219
Billy, would you mind holding
this for Grandpa, please?
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,262
Okay, Grandpa, okay, just,
get out of the way of the TV.
00:11:19,388 --> 00:11:20,972
Hey, Phillip, it looks like
00:11:21,098 --> 00:11:22,683
those beans
might make me fart.
00:11:22,808 --> 00:11:24,559
Well, don't fart on me,
Terrance.
00:11:24,685 --> 00:11:26,937
Dude, he's gonna fart
on his head again!
00:11:27,062 --> 00:11:28,438
[mumbles loudly]
00:11:28,563 --> 00:11:31,108
Hey, you're gonna miss it,
Kenny!
00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:32,818
You're such an asshole,
Terrance!
00:11:32,943 --> 00:11:34,403
That's right, I am!
00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:35,737
[laughter]
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,155
[exploding diarrhea]
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,907
[moans]
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,951
Hurry up, Kenny,
you're gonna miss the fart!
00:11:41,076 --> 00:11:43,537
Jesus, what the hell
are you doing?
00:11:43,662 --> 00:11:45,455
We're not watching "Terrance
and Phillip," I swear.
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:47,249
I mean,
Cartman was watching it.
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:51,253
No, I mean what the hell
are you doing to Grandpa?
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:53,380
♪♪
00:11:53,505 --> 00:11:56,383
Tug a little harder, Billy.
00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:59,720
Ah!
- You little jerk!
00:11:59,845 --> 00:12:01,638
You were trying
to kill Grandpa!
00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:02,848
I'm telling Mom!
00:12:02,973 --> 00:12:05,058
Damn it, I was so close.
00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:07,519
Four third graders
from South Park, Colorado,
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,646
were found trying
to viciously murder
00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:11,523
an innocent grandfather.
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:13,775
Boys, how did you get driven
so far to the edge?
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:16,778
What changed you into such
demonic little bastards?
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:18,196
We didn't know
what we were doing.
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:19,448
We were just sitting there
watching
00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:20,699
"Terrance and Phillip," and--
00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:22,325
"Terrance and Phillip"? Aha!
00:12:22,451 --> 00:12:23,952
So it is that show
that is to blame.
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,787
These boys' minds
have been tainted
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:29,458
by the garbage on television
that they see,
00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:31,084
and we are fed up!
00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:32,085
Huh?
00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:34,045
Oh, God, oh, God!
00:12:34,171 --> 00:12:37,466
We have to stop this smut
from going on the air!
00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:40,135
We will march to the network
and protest
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:42,637
until our demands are met.
00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:44,931
New York, here we come!
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:47,684
[cheers and applause]
[loud diarrhea]
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:55,108
We are spreading the word
to this establishment
00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:57,569
that we demand
better television
00:12:57,694 --> 00:12:59,362
for our children!
00:12:59,488 --> 00:13:00,906
[cheers and applause]
00:13:01,031 --> 00:13:04,034
We want more
quality television,
00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:05,535
like "Full House"!
00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:07,496
[cheers and applause]
00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:10,457
Ugh, I think you gave me
the stomach flu, Mr. Garrison.
00:13:10,582 --> 00:13:12,459
No, no, it was
that little Kenny bastard
00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:14,252
that gave it to me.
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:17,047
Whoa, Mayor,
you, uh, making gravy in there?
00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:18,924
I just had a brown baby boy.
00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:21,176
[both laugh]
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,053
♪♪
00:13:23,178 --> 00:13:25,722
Dude, this is sweet
not having parents around.
00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:28,058
Yeah, I hope they protest
TV shows forever.
00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:29,267
Whoopee!
00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:30,477
C'mere, Billy.
00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:31,895
I wanna show you something.
00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:33,438
Aw, do I have to?
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:35,732
Yes, you do,
you little pecker!
00:13:35,857 --> 00:13:38,485
I realized that the reason
you won't kill me
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:41,530
is because you don't understand
how I feel, Billy.
00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:44,157
But now I found a way
to show you
00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:47,953
what it feels like
to be Grandpa.
00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:49,704
Hey, what are you doing?
00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:53,750
What are they doing in there?
00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:55,585
I don't know.
00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:57,295
Now you're about to see
what it's like
00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:58,755
to be as old as me.
00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,173
Are you ready, Billy?
00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:02,717
I-I guess.
00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:05,720
[Enya's "Orinoco Flow" plays]
00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:12,727
♪♪
00:14:12,853 --> 00:14:14,271
Okay, you can let me out now.
00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:16,731
Not just yet.
00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:19,609
Let me out, Grandpa!
00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:20,861
I can't take it anymore!
00:14:20,986 --> 00:14:22,112
This music is terrible!
00:14:22,237 --> 00:14:23,613
It's-it's cheesy but lame
00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:25,991
and eerily soothing
at the same time!
00:14:26,116 --> 00:14:29,661
That's it! Now you know what
it feels like to be Grandpa!
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:31,329
♪♪
00:14:32,998 --> 00:14:36,167
Grandpa, I had no idea
how bad it was for you.
00:14:36,293 --> 00:14:37,586
Now I understand.
00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:40,255
So now will you
kill me, Billy?
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,924
Sure I will, Grandpa.
I will.
00:14:44,175 --> 00:14:46,928
[sighs] It doesn't look like
our protest is working.
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:49,014
It'll work.
It has to.
00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:51,975
Look, it's the president
of the network.
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:55,145
Ladies and gentlemen,
my name is John Warsog.
00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:58,315
I've prepared a statement for
you on behalf of the network.
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:01,359
[clearing throat]
00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:03,695
[bleep] you.
00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:05,488
Thank you,
ladies and gentlemen.
00:15:05,614 --> 00:15:07,157
If there are any questions,
you may direct them
00:15:07,282 --> 00:15:08,825
to that brick wall over there.
00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:13,330
Hey! You will not
get away with this!
00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:17,292
[crowd gasping]
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:18,710
That does it!
00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:21,546
No more Mr. Nice Protesters!
00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:23,924
It's time for plan B.
00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:27,928
Ooh, Carol,
where are the porta-potties?
00:15:28,053 --> 00:15:29,596
Over there, hon--
what, do you need
00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:31,848
to drop some friends off
at the pool?
00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:33,683
Oh, yes, indeedy.
00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:36,686
[both laugh]
00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:38,605
Okay, Grandpa, all you
have to do is sit there.
00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:39,814
We'll do the rest.
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:41,358
You got the cow all tied up?
00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:42,692
Yep, all done.
00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:44,569
Okay, c'mon, guys.
00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:46,738
[all grunt]
00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:47,948
Why don't we just shoot him?
00:15:48,073 --> 00:15:49,115
You dumb-ass, Cartman.
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,367
It has to look natural,
00:15:50,492 --> 00:15:51,701
or else we'll all get busted.
00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:53,036
Yeah, stupid.
00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:54,829
That's good, Billy.
00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:56,581
Little higher, now.
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,416
[cow moos]
00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:01,252
The network is not
taking us seriously.
00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:03,964
In the past,
people have had to die
00:16:04,089 --> 00:16:05,715
for what they believed in,
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,301
and we are prepared
to do the same!
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:09,427
Ready?
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:14,766
Mr. McKormick, you shall be
a martyr to us all.
00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:16,351
Godspeed.
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:19,521
We will not let
these corporate half-wits
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,982
ruin our children's minds!
00:16:22,107 --> 00:16:23,441
Launch!
00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:24,693
[drumroll]
00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:27,112
[grunts]
- [gasps]
00:16:27,237 --> 00:16:30,782
We will all follow suit
one by one
00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:32,242
if that's what it takes!
00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:33,994
[all moaning in pain]
00:16:34,119 --> 00:16:35,662
Are you ready, Grandpa?
00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:37,622
Does the pope
crap in the woods?
00:16:39,124 --> 00:16:41,376
[indistinct radio chatter]
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,294
[suspenseful music]
00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:45,338
[cow moos]
00:16:45,463 --> 00:16:46,464
♪♪
00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:50,051
Carry on.
[engine turns over]
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:51,553
Okay, here we go.
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,430
Bye, Grandpa,
it was nice knowing you.
00:16:53,555 --> 00:16:55,432
Cut the damn rope already!
00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:58,560
[thunder crackles]
- Whoa, what is that?
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:02,230
Whoa, it-it looks like Death!
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:03,648
[moans]
00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:04,858
It's about time,
00:17:04,983 --> 00:17:07,444
you lazy-ass son of a whore!
00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:09,738
C'mon, let's go!
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:11,239
What the...
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,199
Hey, he's coming towards us.
00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:14,451
Why is Death coming after us?
00:17:14,576 --> 00:17:15,577
[moans]
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:17,162
[children screaming]
00:17:17,287 --> 00:17:20,206
Ah!
- Ah!
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:24,044
Help!
- Run, run, run!
00:17:24,169 --> 00:17:25,587
[moans]
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:26,796
What are we gonna do?
00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:28,131
[Death shrieks]
00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:29,883
As the day progresses,
00:17:30,008 --> 00:17:31,551
more and more
South Park residents
00:17:31,676 --> 00:17:33,720
continue to slingshot
their bodies
00:17:33,845 --> 00:17:36,598
into the side
of the Toon Central building.
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:39,142
Toon Central is now under
incredible pressure
00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:40,310
to cancel the show
00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:41,519
and has already lost
00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:43,772
over 20% of their sponsors.
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:46,191
Here, Carol,
I think it's your boy.
00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:47,400
Oh, thanks.
00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:48,860
What is it, Stanley, hon?
00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:50,153
Did you break something?
00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:52,280
Mom, Death is here,
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,199
and he's trying
to take us all away with him!
00:17:54,324 --> 00:17:56,451
Stanley, honey,
you need to leave Mommy alone.
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:58,620
I'm doing something
very, very important
00:17:58,745 --> 00:17:59,746
for your little well-being
there.
00:17:59,871 --> 00:18:01,331
Yeah, but Mom!
00:18:01,456 --> 00:18:02,749
Here, honey,
talk to your father.
00:18:02,874 --> 00:18:03,917
Did you turn the heat down?
00:18:04,042 --> 00:18:05,210
Dad, Death is coming--
00:18:05,335 --> 00:18:06,669
Keep the thermostat under 70.
00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:07,921
Take care of your grandfather.
00:18:08,046 --> 00:18:10,173
[Death shrieks]
00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:12,342
Damn it! You know,
I think that if parents
00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:14,177
would spend less time
worrying about
00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:15,929
what their kids watch on TV
and more time worrying
00:18:16,054 --> 00:18:17,555
about what's going on
in their kids' lives,
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,349
this world would be
a much better place.
00:18:19,474 --> 00:18:21,351
Yeah, I think that parents
only get so offended
00:18:21,476 --> 00:18:22,936
by television because they
rely on it as a babysitter
00:18:23,061 --> 00:18:24,646
and the sole educator
of their kids.
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:31,778
[mumbling]
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,032
Totally, dude.
- Good point, man.
00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:37,867
[shrieks]
- Ah!
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:39,202
Quick!
Jump through the window!
00:18:39,327 --> 00:18:40,662
♪♪
00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:42,705
[Cartman grunts]
[Death shrieks]
00:18:47,252 --> 00:18:50,964
Come back here,
you pompous son of a pansy!
00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:52,966
all: Ah!
- Don't let him touch you!
00:18:53,091 --> 00:18:54,968
You die if he touches you!
00:18:55,093 --> 00:18:57,262
I'm over here,
you son of a whore!
00:18:57,387 --> 00:19:00,265
♪♪
00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:04,060
Oh, Terrance?
00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:06,187
What color is the wind?
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:08,731
Hmm, I don't know,
why don't you check?
00:19:08,857 --> 00:19:10,567
[farts]
[both laugh]
00:19:10,692 --> 00:19:11,776
Oh, you farted!
00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:15,238
[laughing]
00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:18,074
Hey, Phillip, you know what
my spacesuit smells like?
00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:19,951
No, Terrance,
why don't you tell me?
00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:23,079
Well, it smells like
a dirty fart.
00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:24,622
[both laugh]
00:19:24,747 --> 00:19:26,207
[laughing]
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:27,375
Hey, look!
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,668
[laughing]
00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:30,378
[farts] Oh, there's one!
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:33,798
[all laughing]
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:37,135
Hours have passed, and still,
the die-hard South Park parents
00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:39,888
are killing themselves in front
of the Toon Central building
00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:41,598
one by one.
00:19:41,723 --> 00:19:43,224
Worse yet, the stomach flu
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:45,602
that seems to be
going around is...
00:19:45,727 --> 00:19:47,061
wait, wait, I'm getting word
00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:48,396
that the president
of the network
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:51,024
is going to make a statement.
00:19:52,317 --> 00:19:53,359
Wait, wait.
00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:55,069
Ladies and gentlemen,
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:57,614
your Nazi-ass tactics
of trying to stink us out
00:19:57,739 --> 00:20:02,243
with your rancid feces...
has worked.
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,204
[flies buzzing]
Therefore,
00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:05,955
today, we will
officially be taking
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,082
"Terrance and Phillip"
off the network
00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:10,668
and replacing it with reruns
of "She's the Sheriff,"
00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:13,546
starring Suzanne Somers.
[cheers and applause]
00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:14,923
Now, get away from here,
00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:16,424
and take your diarrhea
with you!
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,593
[cheers and applause]
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,595
Huh?
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,389
Now, at last,
we can return to normality.
00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:25,558
Hey, Phillip?
- Yes, Terrance?
00:20:25,683 --> 00:20:28,603
Is there a penny
stuck in my butt?
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:30,647
I don't know, Terrance,
let me check.
00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:32,482
Uh-oh, don't look there,
Phillip.
00:20:32,607 --> 00:20:34,025
You're gonna get farted on.
00:20:36,486 --> 00:20:38,905
We interrupt this program
to bring you loud static.
00:20:39,030 --> 00:20:41,241
[static sizzles]
00:20:41,366 --> 00:20:43,409
[groaning]
00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:44,535
Ah!
00:20:44,661 --> 00:20:46,204
♪♪
00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:50,625
Oh, my God, they killed Kenny!
You bastard!
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,210
Wow, I guess
Death was just coming
00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:53,711
after Kenny the whole time.
00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:56,631
Hey, you were supposed
to kill me!
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:59,842
[moans]
- That's not fair, God damn it!
00:20:59,968 --> 00:21:02,553
My grandpa asked me
to kill him and I did it!
00:21:03,972 --> 00:21:05,473
♪♪
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:06,975
Whoa!
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:10,478
Billy...
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:11,854
Grandpa?
00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:13,564
That's right, Billy.
00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:15,441
My name's not Billy, Grandpa.
00:21:15,566 --> 00:21:16,651
And what's wrong with you?
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,194
Why do you look all haggard?
00:21:18,319 --> 00:21:20,405
I asked you
to kill me, Billy.
00:21:20,530 --> 00:21:22,156
But I was wrong,
00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:25,493
and now I'm forced
to spend eternity in limbo.
00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:27,120
Limbo?
00:21:27,245 --> 00:21:29,539
I was wrong to put you
in that position, Billy.
00:21:29,664 --> 00:21:33,126
Just like you're wrong
to put little Billy in it now.
00:21:33,251 --> 00:21:34,961
You're so obsessed
with ending your life,
00:21:35,086 --> 00:21:37,630
you're not thinking about
what you're doing to his.
00:21:37,755 --> 00:21:41,050
You must wait to die
of natural causes.
00:21:41,175 --> 00:21:43,761
But I've been waiting
for 25 years!
00:21:43,886 --> 00:21:48,057
Let nature run its course,
or else end up in limbo!
00:21:48,182 --> 00:21:50,435
Natural causes, Billy.
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,437
Natural causes...
00:21:52,562 --> 00:21:55,064
[eerie whistling]
00:21:56,774 --> 00:21:58,776
C'mon, you guys,
let's go home.
00:22:03,239 --> 00:22:05,908
♪♪
00:22:06,034 --> 00:22:08,661
Here they are.
- Well, we did it, son.
00:22:08,786 --> 00:22:11,164
We fought a battle
for your well-being and won.
00:22:11,289 --> 00:22:12,749
What do you mean?
00:22:12,874 --> 00:22:13,750
We got "Terrance and Phillip"
00:22:13,875 --> 00:22:15,376
taken off the air.
00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:17,420
You son of a bitch!
Your mom sucks!
00:22:17,545 --> 00:22:20,256
But look what they put on.
00:22:20,381 --> 00:22:22,925
And now back
to "She's the Sheriff."
00:22:23,051 --> 00:22:25,219
No! God, no!
00:22:25,345 --> 00:22:28,222
You were the one
behind all these shenanigans!
00:22:28,348 --> 00:22:30,433
Yeah, well, you're
the stupid ho that started it.
00:22:30,558 --> 00:22:32,268
What did he say?
00:22:32,393 --> 00:22:34,187
Up yours, butt-munch!
00:22:34,312 --> 00:22:35,646
Wh-wh-what?!
00:22:35,772 --> 00:22:39,275
C'mon, everybody,
back to New York!
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:40,818
Hey, Stan,
now that "Terrance and Phillip"
00:22:40,943 --> 00:22:42,403
has been taken off the air,
00:22:42,528 --> 00:22:44,405
what are we gonna do
for entertainment?
00:22:44,530 --> 00:22:46,574
I don't know, we-we could
start breathing gas fumes.
00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:49,035
My uncle says that
smoking crack is kinda cool.
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:50,620
Hey, why don't we go watch
00:22:50,745 --> 00:22:51,829
some of those porno
movie thingies?
00:22:51,954 --> 00:22:53,748
Cool!
- Yeah!
00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:55,416
What are you doing, Grandpa?
00:22:55,541 --> 00:22:57,543
I'm planning a trip
to Africa.
00:22:57,668 --> 00:23:00,588
Did you know over 400 people
are eaten naturally
00:23:00,713 --> 00:23:03,091
by lions in Africa every year?
00:23:03,216 --> 00:23:04,801
That's my silly Grandpa.
00:23:04,926 --> 00:23:07,720
[both laugh]
00:23:07,845 --> 00:23:08,721
[farts]
- Oh!
00:23:08,846 --> 00:23:11,891
[laughter]
Скриншоты
