Слон занимается любовью со свиньёй — Стэн мучается от побоев своей сестры Шелли. Кайл заводит слона, и друзья, пытаясь скрестить его со вислобрюхой свиньёй Картмана, обращаются в лабораторию доктора Альфонса Мефесто. Билл, Терренс и Фосси в попытке создать что-то более эффектное, чем главные герои, клонируют Стэна.

Предыдущая серия S01 E04 Большой Эл-гомосек и его гомояхта

Следующая серия S01 E06 Смерть

Слон занимается любовью со свиньёй

An Elephant Makes Love To A Pig

Сезон: 01Серия: 05

Описание

Стэн мучается от побоев своей сестры Шелли. Кайл заводит слона, и друзья, пытаясь скрестить его со вислобрюхой свиньёй Картмана, обращаются в лабораторию доктора Альфонса Мефесто. Билл, Терренс и Фосси в попытке создать что-то более эффектное, чем главные герои, клонируют Стэна.

Субтитры

00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:12,028 - Стэн, откуда у тебя синяк под глазом? - Ничего, в смысле, какой фингал?
00:02:12,198 --> 00:02:15,638 - Твоя сестра снова тебя отдубасила? - Нет!
00:02:15,808 --> 00:02:17,668 Твоя сестра надрала тебе зад!
00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:21,508 Она просто злая из-за своих новых брекетов.
00:02:21,678 --> 00:02:24,048 Ты получил по жопе от девчонки.
00:02:24,218 --> 00:02:28,478 Я никогда не позволю надрать свой зад девчонке. Если она только попытается, я сразу:
00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:32,848 "Тащи свой зад обратно в кухню, сучка, и давай готовь мне пожрать!"
00:02:33,028 --> 00:02:34,928 Мои родители не верят мне.
00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:38,218 Они думают, что она такая невинная. Но только она злая сука.
00:02:38,398 --> 00:02:44,628 Будь мужиком, Стэн. Просто скажи, "Эй, женщина! Закрой свой рот и иди делай детей!"
00:02:45,138 --> 00:02:46,928 Что этот слон делает?
00:02:47,108 --> 00:02:50,008 Ты говоришь про этого? Он мой новый любимчик.
00:02:50,178 --> 00:02:53,668 - Где ты его достал? - Заказал по почте из Африки
00:02:53,848 --> 00:02:56,748 Они сказали что доставка займет 6 недель, но вышло только 3!
00:02:56,918 --> 00:02:58,778 - Уау, это круто! - Нет это не круто!
00:02:58,948 --> 00:03:03,248 Мама не хочет оставлять его в доме! У него дерьмо больше чем наш диван.
00:03:03,418 --> 00:03:08,418 Вот почему мама подарила мне пузатую свинку, его дерьмо маленькое.
00:03:10,128 --> 00:03:12,998 Даа, но свиньи не так умны как слоны.
00:03:13,998 --> 00:03:17,798 Эй! Минуточку! Это что такое?
00:03:19,268 --> 00:03:21,568 Это новенький. Умственно отсталый.
00:03:21,738 --> 00:03:25,968 Оу, извини, милая. Но тебе сюда нельзя.
00:03:26,138 --> 00:03:29,738 Для вас есть специальный автобус!
00:03:31,348 --> 00:03:34,878 Похоже, что тебе нигде не рады. Увидимся!
00:03:35,218 --> 00:03:39,918 Если баба только пасть на меня откроет, я сразу, "Слышь, а ну иди мое белье постирай!"
00:03:40,088 --> 00:03:42,928 - А ну сядь быстро! - Хорошо, хорошо
00:03:43,628 --> 00:03:49,328 Дети, наш друг мистер Шляпа раскажет нам о генной инженерии.
00:03:49,498 --> 00:03:54,438 Так точно мистер Гаррисон, генная инженерия - увлекательная новая наука.
00:03:54,608 --> 00:03:58,408 Вы можете скрещивать ДНК каких-нибудь животных и сделать их лучше.
00:03:58,578 --> 00:04:00,368 - Мистер Гаррисон? - Да, Кайл
00:04:00,548 --> 00:04:03,138 А можно уменьшить слона?
00:04:03,318 --> 00:04:05,938 Нуу, да, я думаю, что можно.
00:04:06,118 --> 00:04:11,248 Вы можете скрестить гены слона с генами собаки или кошки или пузатой свинки.
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:16,658 Объеденить моего слона с пузатой свиньей и получить пузатого слона.
00:04:17,098 --> 00:04:20,288 - Умного как слон, маленького как свинья. - Круто!
00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:23,328 - Я хочу пузатенького слона. - Я заплачу 50 баксов.
00:04:23,498 --> 00:04:24,488 Это глупо.
00:04:24,668 --> 00:04:27,538 Заткнись! С помощью генной инженерии можно что угодно.
00:04:27,708 --> 00:04:32,608 Могу дать слово, я клонирую человека, прежде чем ты скрестишь свинью и слона.
00:04:32,778 --> 00:04:34,798 - Я могу дать, что ты не сможешь! - Ну посмотрим!
00:04:34,978 --> 00:04:40,378 Ох, шлепни мне в зад и назови меня Чарли. Два отличника в войне за клонирование.
00:04:40,548 --> 00:04:45,078 С помощью генетичекской инженерии можно исправить ужасные ошибки Бога.
00:04:45,258 --> 00:04:46,518 Например немцев
00:04:46,688 --> 00:04:51,488 Ты можешь сходить в лабораторию генной инженерии за городом, за помощью.
00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:55,758 Ты мог бы использовать это в твоем научном проекте на следующий месяц.
00:04:56,638 --> 00:04:59,898 - Лаборатория генной инженерии? Шикаарно! - Нам нужна свинья
00:05:00,068 --> 00:05:03,528 - Мы можем использовать свинью Картмана - Не трогайте моего Флаффи!
00:05:03,708 --> 00:05:05,838 Мы не сделаем ей больно. Нам нужна ее кровь.
00:05:06,008 --> 00:05:10,238 Вы не будете использовать кровь Флаффи! Ща как дам вам по яйцам!
00:05:10,418 --> 00:05:11,438 Кайл, нет!
00:05:11,618 --> 00:05:13,908 Мы можем поболтать наедине?
00:05:14,088 --> 00:05:18,518 Я не мог не заметить этот синяк. У тебя проблемы дома?
00:05:18,688 --> 00:05:21,088 - Да - Ох, бедненький
00:05:21,258 --> 00:05:26,198 Вот, садись здесь, выпей какао, и расскажи о неприятностях мистеру Шляпе.
00:05:26,358 --> 00:05:31,728 Я твой друг. Ты можешь рассказать мне что угодно. Скажи, кто тебя побил?
00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:35,928 - Это твой отец или мама? - Это моя сестра
00:05:36,108 --> 00:05:39,438 Твоя сестра? Ну ты даешь, жалкий слизняк!
00:05:39,608 --> 00:05:44,808 Хватит тратить время мистера Шляпы на глупые проблемы и отдай обратно какао!
00:05:49,248 --> 00:05:52,308 Давай откроем горячию линию для поддержки клиентов.
00:05:52,488 --> 00:05:53,818 Эй!
00:05:56,428 --> 00:05:58,858 - Привет, Шелли - Пялишься на мои железки?
00:05:59,028 --> 00:06:00,398 Какие железки?
00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:04,228 - Ты пялишься на мои железки? - Я и не заметил
00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:09,268 - Ах ты маленький лжец! - Я думаю они выглядят шикарно! Тебе идет...
00:06:25,058 --> 00:06:26,788 - Готов идти? - Идти куда?
00:06:26,958 --> 00:06:31,658 В лабораторию генной инженерии, чтобы скрестить свинью с моим слоном
00:06:31,828 --> 00:06:34,058 Никто не будет скрещивать моего Флаффи!
00:06:34,228 --> 00:06:38,428 - Клянусь, я убью тебя Стэн! - Почему твоя сестра такая злая?
00:06:38,598 --> 00:06:42,198 Если бы какая-нибудь девчушка попыталась бы надрать мне задницу, я бы сказал:
00:06:42,368 --> 00:06:48,508 "Эй, тёлочка, почему бы тебе не пойти и связать мне свитер, прежде, чем я ударю тебя по лицу!"
00:06:48,678 --> 00:06:51,238 Кто это сказал?
00:06:56,388 --> 00:06:58,148 Должно быть она.
00:06:58,318 --> 00:07:01,878 Выглядит так, будто никого нет дома. Мы придём в другой раз.
00:07:02,058 --> 00:07:05,328 Мы скрещиваем Флаффи и моего слона.
00:07:05,498 --> 00:07:07,758 Я не дам им обидеть тебя.
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,418 - Это просто свинья. - Перестань быть ребёнком.
00:07:10,598 --> 00:07:15,038 - Я не дам телке надрать мой зад! - По крайней мере я не свиноеб!
00:07:15,208 --> 00:07:18,768 Я забираю свою свинью. Пошли вы, ребята! Я иду домой!
00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:20,838 Это дурацкая идея!
00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:24,638 Да что ты знаешь? Ты никогда не получал оценку выше, чем единица.
00:07:24,818 --> 00:07:28,448 Почему бы тебе не уехать в Сан-Франциско с другими евреями?
00:07:28,618 --> 00:07:31,448 в Сан-Франциско нет евреев, тормоз!
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:33,608 Я тебе напинаю по яйцам!
00:07:34,088 --> 00:07:36,318 Могу я чем-нибудь помочь?
00:07:38,228 --> 00:07:41,598 Да. Мы хотим сделать смесь слона и свиньи.
00:07:41,768 --> 00:07:45,218 Блестящая мысль. Огромные, размером со слона свиньи.
00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:49,428 Нет, маленькие толстопузые слоники, чтобы люди могли держать их, как домашних животных.
00:07:49,608 --> 00:07:52,838 Это даже лучше. Идём.
00:07:53,008 --> 00:07:57,068 Я так рад, что вас заинтересовала генная инженерия.
00:07:57,248 --> 00:07:59,148 Никто не тронет тебя.
00:07:59,318 --> 00:08:02,908 Благодаря генной инженерии мы положим конец
00:08:03,088 --> 00:08:06,218 голоду, болезням, загрязнению, даже войне.
00:08:06,388 --> 00:08:09,188 Я создал всё это, чтобы изменить мир к лучшему.
00:08:09,358 --> 00:08:13,388 К примеру здесь у нас обезьяна с четырьмя задницами.
00:08:13,998 --> 00:08:18,228 - И как это меняет мир к лучшему? - Мой четырёх задый страус.
00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:20,098 Моя четырёхзадая мангуста.
00:08:20,268 --> 00:08:23,138 А есть что-нибудь кроме четырёх задых животных?
00:08:23,308 --> 00:08:26,608 Я думаю есть. Да, вот здесь.
00:08:26,778 --> 00:08:31,038 Крысы скрещенные с утками, гориллы скрещенные с комарами.
00:08:31,218 --> 00:08:36,238 Здесь кролики скрещенные с рыбой, чтобы сделать маленькую кроличью рыбку.
00:08:36,488 --> 00:08:39,178 Эти кроличьи уши привязаны нитками!
00:08:39,358 --> 00:08:42,588 а тут швейцарский сыр скрещенный с мелом и бородой.
00:08:42,758 --> 00:08:47,428 - Ну так что там с нашим толстопузым слонёнком? - Мне очень жаль дети.
00:08:47,598 --> 00:08:52,588 ДНК слона и свиньи не скрестить. Разве вы не слышали эту песню от Бабника?
00:08:52,768 --> 00:08:53,758 Какую песню?
00:08:58,238 --> 00:09:01,578 Я могу помочь вам добавить немного задниц вашему поросёнку.
00:09:01,748 --> 00:09:03,808 Держи свои руки подальше от Флаффи!
00:09:03,978 --> 00:09:08,318 Это удивительно, что мы можем сделать с маленьким образцом крови в наши дни.
00:09:08,848 --> 00:09:12,348 - Что? Ой извини. - Почему ты взял кровь Стэна?
00:09:12,518 --> 00:09:15,578 Прошу прощения, я ошибся. Кто даст мне немного волос?
00:09:15,758 --> 00:09:19,858 - Берегись, генные инженеры сумасшедшие! - Идём Флаффи!
00:09:23,028 --> 00:09:26,758 - Этот газ разрывает мой зад. - Этот довольно свежий.
00:09:26,938 --> 00:09:28,728 Я так голоден.
00:09:28,908 --> 00:09:31,998 Кто-нибудь из вас знает что сегодня на ланч?
00:09:33,478 --> 00:09:37,538 - Пуддинг? - Отвали, Пип, ты никому не нравишься!
00:09:37,718 --> 00:09:39,648 Что за имя такое, Пип?
00:09:39,818 --> 00:09:43,578 Фамилия моего отца Пиррип а мое имя, Филлип...
00:09:43,748 --> 00:09:46,948 Может ты заткнешься? Всем посрать!
00:09:47,118 --> 00:09:49,718 - Да, вали отсюда Пип. - Ладно.
00:09:50,328 --> 00:09:52,348 Французы бесят меня.
00:09:52,528 --> 00:09:56,828 Эй придурки! Вы уже забросили свой тупой научный проект?
00:09:56,998 --> 00:10:01,998 - Нет, мы уже наполовину закончили. - Наполовину? Значит все что у вас есть это тупая свинья.
00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:05,298 - Скорей всего гей-свинья. - Это больше чем у вас.
00:10:05,478 --> 00:10:09,498 Нет! Наш клон человека уже почти готов.
00:10:10,008 --> 00:10:12,878 Господи, они клонировали ногу!
00:10:13,118 --> 00:10:15,308 Эй, я тебе задницу надеру!
00:10:17,218 --> 00:10:21,558 В пятницу мы клонируем целого человека, а вам удачи с вашей тупой свиньей.
00:10:21,728 --> 00:10:23,158 Привет, дети.
00:10:23,328 --> 00:10:24,848 - Как дела? - Плохо.
00:10:25,028 --> 00:10:26,018 Почему плохо?
00:10:26,198 --> 00:10:29,718 Нам надо скрестить слона со свиньей, а у них ДНК не скрещивается.
00:10:29,898 --> 00:10:32,628 Ну, конечно, не скрещивается, дети.
00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:35,798 Разве вы не слышали эту песню Лавербоя?
00:10:37,978 --> 00:10:43,848 - Свинослон? Кстати, отличная идея. - Я ж говорил.
00:10:44,008 --> 00:10:48,138 Только представьте, карманный слон, которого можно держать дома.
00:10:48,318 --> 00:10:51,648 Дети, это золотая жила.
00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:53,408 Слышали, пацаны? Мы разбогатеем!
00:10:53,588 --> 00:10:56,218 Только забудьте об этой генной инженерии.
00:10:56,388 --> 00:11:01,758 Если вы хотите скрестить свинью и слона, то помогите им заняться любовью.
00:11:02,098 --> 00:11:04,088 Не думаю что слон захочет заниматься любовью со свиньей.
00:11:04,268 --> 00:11:07,498 Моя свинка не захочет заниматься любовью с этим слоном!
00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:10,638 Захотят, просто помогите им создать подходящее настроение.
00:11:10,808 --> 00:11:15,138 - И как это сделать? - Первым делом напоите их.
00:11:15,878 --> 00:11:18,278 - Может ко мне зайдем? - Нам вообще-то работать надо.
00:11:18,448 --> 00:11:21,178 Мне кажется, что слона придется долго спаивать.
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:25,308 - Может, хоть на минутку зайдем? - Что, опять боишься что сестра тебе наваляет?
00:11:25,488 --> 00:11:27,478 Заткнись, Картман!
00:11:27,958 --> 00:11:32,588 - Да, она ведь просто девчонка. - Если какая-нибудь телка попробует меня тронуть, то я ей такой:
00:11:32,758 --> 00:11:38,218 "Слышь, почему бы тебе не перестать одевать меня почтальоном и заставлять танцевать на столе для тебя
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:41,198 пока ты куришь крэк в нашей спальне
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:46,328 и трахаешься на кровати моего отца с каким-то парнем, которого я даже не знаю."
00:11:48,678 --> 00:11:53,738 - Блин, ты вообще сейчас о чем? - Я хотел сказать что ты слабак.
00:11:53,918 --> 00:11:56,508 Стэн, ты можешь использовать семейную любовь как оружие против неё
00:11:56,688 --> 00:12:02,248 В следующий раз, когда она надерет тебе задницу, скажи ей "Шелли, ты моя сестра. Я люблю тебя!"
00:12:02,428 --> 00:12:06,448 - Ты больной она моя сестра! - Попробуй. Нам нужно забрать свинью Картмана.
00:12:06,628 --> 00:12:09,428 Не смейте! Оставьте Флаффи в покое.
00:12:09,598 --> 00:12:11,428 - Пошли, Кенни. - Кайл, нет!
00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:16,968 Никакой слон не будет заниматься любовью с Флаффи! Кайл, я напинаю тебе по яйцам!
00:12:17,608 --> 00:12:18,628 Дерьмо!
00:12:19,508 --> 00:12:22,168 А сейчас вернемся к Jesus and Pals...
00:12:22,348 --> 00:12:27,648 - Ты пялишься на мой шейный воротник? - Нет, то есть, да? Какой еще шейный воротник?
00:12:28,948 --> 00:12:31,888 Шелли, прежде чем ты снова разобьешь мое лицо в кровавое месиво...
00:12:32,058 --> 00:12:36,548 Я только хочу что бы ты знала, что ты моя сестра и я люблю тебя.
00:12:41,828 --> 00:12:46,598 Когда-нибудь, Шелли, я буду больше чем ты. Ты пожалеешь, что сделала это.
00:12:46,768 --> 00:12:51,938 Ты никогда не будешь больше чем я, Стэн. Никогда!
00:12:52,278 --> 00:12:58,078 Восхитительно, просто поражает. Сын мой, я думаю мы наконец закончили это.
00:12:58,248 --> 00:13:01,708 Да, мы сделали это, отец. Мой собственный человеческий клон.
00:13:01,888 --> 00:13:06,578 - Надеюсь это не гей-клон. - Да, это так тупо.
00:13:06,758 --> 00:13:08,488 Давай слон, продолжай пить.
00:13:08,658 --> 00:13:12,818 Мне интересно как ему надо напиться, что бы заняться сладкой любовью со свиньей.
00:13:15,368 --> 00:13:18,028 - Черт возьми! Это не сработает. - Здравствуйте, дети
00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:22,828 Я пришел проверить как проходит, наш небольшой предпринимательский эксперимент.
00:13:23,008 --> 00:13:25,568 Они оба пьяные, но не собираются заниматься сексом!
00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:30,008 Дети, вы не можете просто поставить пьяную свинью с пьяным слоном...
00:13:30,178 --> 00:13:33,048 ...и ожидать от них мамбо на матрацах.
00:13:33,218 --> 00:13:38,048 Вам нужно задать настроение. Я покажу вам парни, что я имею ввиду.
00:14:07,348 --> 00:14:10,718 Дамы и господа, мистер Элтон Джон!
00:14:23,728 --> 00:14:25,068 Спасибо, Элтон.
00:14:32,478 --> 00:14:33,968 Смотри, это работает.
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:40,668 Теперь, дети, собирайтесь вокруг и смотрите на прелести жизни.
00:14:40,848 --> 00:14:43,748 Красоты матери природы.
00:14:44,888 --> 00:14:47,188 - Фуу! - Флаффи!
00:14:48,358 --> 00:14:52,618 Теперь, я знаю что чувствуют все эти белые женщины.
00:14:54,378 --> 00:14:58,038 Как привлекательно, наше создание, увенчалось успехом.
00:14:58,208 --> 00:15:02,278 - Пап, ты лучший. - О, боже! У него всего один зад!
00:15:02,448 --> 00:15:05,648 Он не имеет смысла для меня. Я должен сжечь комнату.
00:15:07,018 --> 00:15:10,978 Весь этот эксперимент становится очень плохим.
00:15:11,158 --> 00:15:12,348 Моя плохой?
00:15:15,198 --> 00:15:18,028 Он выходит из под контроля. Мы должны уничтожить его!
00:15:18,198 --> 00:15:20,528 Но он же наш научный проект!
00:15:22,968 --> 00:15:27,168 - Он слишком опасен, сын. - Но пап, я хочу человеческого клона!
00:15:27,338 --> 00:15:28,898 Нет, сын!
00:15:32,248 --> 00:15:37,518 Ты сделал ужасную ошибку. Ты поставил всех людей Южного Парка в опасность!
00:15:37,688 --> 00:15:41,018 Все равно они все тупые. Ладно, парни, пошли.
00:15:41,188 --> 00:15:42,818 Они все геи.
00:15:43,728 --> 00:15:45,788 Они когда-нибудь собираются просыпаться?
00:15:45,958 --> 00:15:49,328 Они проснутся. Будет не приятное зрелище.
00:15:49,498 --> 00:15:54,368 - Я думал ты сказал, что мать-природа красивая. - Да, когда это мать природа, переходит от красивой в уродливую?
00:15:54,538 --> 00:15:57,898 Обычно около 9.30 утра, дети.
00:15:59,108 --> 00:16:00,698 Началось.
00:16:05,408 --> 00:16:11,108 Нет ничего хуже чем напиться и проснуться утром, рядом со свиньей.
00:16:12,658 --> 00:16:15,888 - Или с большим жирным слоном. - Как мы узнаем что она беременна?
00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:18,718 В ближайшую пару дней можем и не узнать.
00:16:18,898 --> 00:16:22,488 Пару дней? Но клон Терранса будет готов уже завтра.
00:16:22,668 --> 00:16:25,858 Отличная работа, Эйнштейн! Почему бы нам, тем временем не построить ракету?
00:16:26,038 --> 00:16:27,868 О слава будде, я нашел вас парни.
00:16:28,038 --> 00:16:30,968 Скажите, вы не видели ничего странного, в последнее время?
00:16:31,138 --> 00:16:33,368 Мы видели, как слон занимался сексом со свиньей.
00:16:33,538 --> 00:16:38,208 - Не не, я сказал странного. - Эй, да ты тот ненормальный белый с холма.
00:16:38,378 --> 00:16:43,938 Сэр, если создание мутантов животных, скрещенных с людьми это ненормально, то...
00:16:48,218 --> 00:16:51,888 Неважно. Я боюсь что там произошло происшествие, на ранчо.
00:16:52,058 --> 00:16:57,998 Просто, я создал большого мутанта-клона этого маленького мальчика там, и он вырвался на свободу.
00:16:59,298 --> 00:17:02,498 - Мою версию большого мутанта? -Больше чем обычный клон?
00:17:02,668 --> 00:17:08,268 Он ужасно опасен. Его мозг это индиетичная версия твоего. Мне нужно, что бы ты помог мне найти его.
00:17:12,848 --> 00:17:15,838 Стэн, ты одел другую шапку?
00:17:17,588 --> 00:17:22,618 Эй! Я знаю одного молодого человека, который остается после уроков!
00:17:24,988 --> 00:17:27,688 Как думаешь насколько он большой? Готов поспорить он весит 200 килограмм.
00:17:27,858 --> 00:17:31,228 Давай, Стэн, ты не знаешь куда бы ты пошел?
00:17:31,698 --> 00:17:32,828 О боже!
00:17:34,638 --> 00:17:40,408 Как мы видим, что разрушающее существо на самом деле 8-ми летний Стэн Марш из Саус Парка.
00:17:40,578 --> 00:17:43,938 Когда я просил, почему он сеет хаос на его собственный город
00:17:44,108 --> 00:17:49,448 маленький мальчик просто ответил, "Моя Стэн..."
00:17:49,618 --> 00:17:51,208 Возращаемся к вам в студии.
00:17:51,388 --> 00:17:54,478 Спасибо, Том. Полиция сообщает, если вы увидите этого 8-ми летнего мальчика...
00:17:54,658 --> 00:17:57,958 вы должны немедленно убить его и сжечь его тело. На этом все.
00:17:58,128 --> 00:17:59,888 А теперь вернемся к Jesus and Pals.
00:18:00,058 --> 00:18:03,458 Эта дорога вымощена золотом, для тех кто ищет правду...
00:18:07,068 --> 00:18:08,328 Иисус.
00:18:10,268 --> 00:18:14,268 Офицер Барбреди, мой злой генетический клон разрушает этот город. Мы должны найти его.
00:18:14,438 --> 00:18:17,038 Вы мальчики, слишком часто смотрите секретные материалы.
00:18:17,208 --> 00:18:20,378 Такой вещи как генетический клон не существует...
00:18:24,748 --> 00:18:27,308 - Давайте, идем! - Вот ты где!
00:18:27,488 --> 00:18:33,258 Стэнли, ты расхреначил весь мой оружейный магазин! Тебе бы лучше иметь хорошее обьяснение этому!
00:18:33,428 --> 00:18:36,088 Это был не я, дядя Джимбо, это был мой злой генетический клон.
00:18:36,268 --> 00:18:41,028 Стэнли, что за хрень вселилась в тебя? У тебя серьездный долг в столовой, мистер.
00:18:41,198 --> 00:18:43,828 Я поговорю с твоим отцом!
00:18:44,008 --> 00:18:48,638 - Жди пока твой отец услышит об этом. - Смотри, Стэн, вот он идет.
00:18:48,808 --> 00:18:49,798 Стой!
00:18:52,848 --> 00:18:57,108 - Чувак, он узнает тебя. - Это хорошо, чувак. Просто успокойся.
00:19:01,358 --> 00:19:03,588 Что мы должны сделать с ним?
00:19:04,088 --> 00:19:08,388 Стэн? Хотел бы ты пойти домой и познакомиться со своей сестрой?
00:19:12,398 --> 00:19:16,198 Итак запомни, у Шелли большая проволока во рту и металлическая плита на спине.
00:19:16,368 --> 00:19:20,238 Когда ты увидешь Шелли, надери ей задницу. Шелли очень плохая.
00:19:20,408 --> 00:19:23,378 - Моя плохая? - Нет, Шелли плохая. Ты хороший.
00:19:27,418 --> 00:19:29,708 Он расхреначивает дом. Остановите его!
00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:42,058 Какого хрена тебе надо?
00:19:47,998 --> 00:19:53,528 - Мне очень жаль за все. - Эй, у них наш клон. Он принадлежит нам.
00:19:53,708 --> 00:19:57,698 Нет сын. Это животное позор для всех генетических инженеров.
00:19:57,878 --> 00:20:00,908 Мальчики мне, мне очень жаль, что я причинил вам такие неудобства.
00:20:01,078 --> 00:20:03,708 Я пытался играть в бога и я провалился.
00:20:04,148 --> 00:20:06,488 Папочка, нет!
00:20:06,658 --> 00:20:11,348 Все что я хотел - создать что нибудь полезное. Но у меня не получилось.
00:20:11,528 --> 00:20:14,498 Пожалуй, нам не стоило играть с созданиями бога.
00:20:14,658 --> 00:20:19,358 Пожалуй, мы должны оставить природу одну, с простой одно-задой схематикой.
00:20:19,538 --> 00:20:23,098 Вы сволочи, это не конец! Ждите до завтра!
00:20:24,468 --> 00:20:28,138 О боже! Они убили Кенни! Вы сволочи!
00:20:28,808 --> 00:20:32,408 Мама и папа дома. Мой дом это катастрофа! Вы должны помочь.
00:20:32,578 --> 00:20:35,018 Я не помощник. Я хочу съесть немного пирога.
00:20:35,178 --> 00:20:38,118 - Вы не можете оставить меня одного! - Серьезно? Смотри.
00:20:38,288 --> 00:20:41,518 Да, чувак. Мы должны узнать беременна ли свинья Картмана. Увидимся.
00:20:41,688 --> 00:20:47,148 - Большое спасибо! - Ну держись, сейчас ты получишь.
00:20:47,928 --> 00:20:50,588 Это не справедливо. Все ненавидят меня.
00:20:50,768 --> 00:20:55,258 Весь город хочет убить меня. Мама и Папа выгонят меня отсюда.
00:20:55,438 --> 00:20:59,368 Я не хочу что бы меня выгнали. Я хочу остаться здесь.
00:21:01,008 --> 00:21:03,978 Стэнли, что, во имя бога, ты делал?
00:21:04,148 --> 00:21:06,508 Все в городе растроенны тобой, молодой человек.
00:21:06,678 --> 00:21:09,238 Что происходит? Ты подсел на наркотики?
00:21:09,848 --> 00:21:15,348 Это не его вина. Это был не Стэн. Он был...
00:21:15,858 --> 00:21:18,118 Он был со мной все это время.
00:21:19,498 --> 00:21:22,728 Ну, Стэн, извини нас мы поспешили с выводами.
00:21:22,898 --> 00:21:26,298 Милый. Пожалуйста прости нас, сын.
00:21:28,138 --> 00:21:32,798 Шелли, ты спасла мне жизнь. И все же, ты сделала намного больше.
00:21:32,978 --> 00:21:36,998 Ты научила меня что значит, значение семьи. Семьи не ладят.
00:21:37,178 --> 00:21:41,908 Когда нагрянут войска зла, мы побеждаем их вместе.
00:21:51,698 --> 00:21:55,858 А теперь аплодисменты, Кейси и его сорняку.
00:21:56,538 --> 00:21:59,198 Ок, Кайл, мы готовы увидеть твой научный проект.
00:21:59,368 --> 00:22:02,968 Ну, наша свянья еще не родила. Но она может в любой момент.
00:22:03,148 --> 00:22:04,538 Ну, я полагаю ты получишь двойку.
00:22:04,708 --> 00:22:08,668 Ок, Терранс, Я знаю класс не может ждать, что бы увидеть твой проект.
00:22:08,848 --> 00:22:14,048 Спасибо, мистер Гаррисон. Ребята, м-р Гаррисон, одноклассники, для нашего научного-проекта...
00:22:14,218 --> 00:22:18,658 Билл Фосси и я породили создание генетически превосходящее человека.
00:22:18,828 --> 00:22:22,348 Я представляю вам пятизадую обезьяну.
00:22:22,858 --> 00:22:25,058 Мистер Шляпа, разве это не красиво?
00:22:27,868 --> 00:22:31,738 Подождите, подождите, свинья только что родила! У неё ребенок.
00:22:32,768 --> 00:22:36,638 - Как он выглядит? - Он выглядит как свинья или как слон?
00:22:40,178 --> 00:22:43,118 Он выглядит типа как, мистер Гаррисон.
00:22:43,288 --> 00:22:48,378 Разве это не удивительное совпадение? Каковы были шансы?
00:22:50,188 --> 00:22:52,718 Вы ребята, получаете первое место.
00:22:55,458 --> 00:22:57,758 Хорошая работа, свинья.
00:22:57,768 --> 00:23:00,258 Переведено на Нотабеноиде http://notabenoid.com/book/10656/45055
00:23:00,268 --> 00:23:01,258 Переводчики: email, Lendis, Ghozt, letsfocusonme
00:23:01,268 --> 00:23:02,258 mistikomanka, igumnovf

00:00:02,003 --> 00:00:03,838 <i>And now a fireside chat</i>
00:00:03,963 --> 00:00:05,214 <i>with the creators of Comedy Central's "South Park, "</i>
00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:07,800 <i>Matt Stone and Trey Parker.</i>
00:00:12,972 --> 00:00:13,931 With a--
00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:19,687 Hello, I'm Trey Parker.
00:00:19,812 --> 00:00:20,855 And I'm Matt Stone.
00:00:20,980 --> 00:00:21,981 And this is ole Scratch.
00:00:22,106 --> 00:00:23,983 Say hi, old fella.
00:00:24,108 --> 00:00:26,360 This episode is called "An Elephant Fucks a Pig."
00:00:26,485 --> 00:00:28,070 But the networks had it changed
00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:29,864 to "An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig."
00:00:29,989 --> 00:00:31,532 Which is kind of silly,
00:00:31,657 --> 00:00:33,075 because if an elephant was on top of a pig,
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,535 it wouldn't be making love to it,
00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:37,663 it would be fucking it.
00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:39,290 Would you agree with the statement, "This episode
00:00:39,415 --> 00:00:41,292 confirms that Matt Stone and Trey Parker
00:00:41,417 --> 00:00:43,627 are nothing but sick weirdos"?
00:00:43,753 --> 00:00:46,213 You know, what is so sick and wrong about two beings
00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:47,882 sharing the most intimate of moments?
00:00:48,007 --> 00:00:50,217 That's what I want to know.
00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:52,678 Do you come at the gene splicing of DNA
00:00:52,803 --> 00:00:54,305 from personal experience?
00:00:54,430 --> 00:00:56,015 Well, yes, I actually made Trey
00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:58,642 from splicing a tomato and a flounder.
00:00:58,768 --> 00:01:01,520 Guys, do you have strong ethical views
00:01:01,645 --> 00:01:04,106 on whether we should tamper with nature in real life?
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:05,691 Well, both Matt and I think
00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:07,735 that genetic engineering is great,
00:01:07,860 --> 00:01:10,112 and that everything should be spliced with everything.
00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:11,906 Why, that's the only way
00:01:12,031 --> 00:01:13,532 we're ever gonna become perfect beings.
00:01:13,657 --> 00:01:15,159 Isn't that right, ole Scratch?
00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:17,203 I think we should splice pigs with elephants
00:01:17,328 --> 00:01:19,121 and tomatoes with apples.
00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:21,707 I myself would like to be spliced with Fiona Apple.
00:01:26,045 --> 00:01:28,005 And so now, sit back, relax,
00:01:28,130 --> 00:01:31,050 and enjoy "An Elephant Fucks a Pig."
00:01:43,479 --> 00:01:44,855 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:01:44,980 --> 00:01:46,857 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
00:01:46,982 --> 00:01:48,567 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:50,111 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:01:50,236 --> 00:01:51,570 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:53,405 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:01:53,531 --> 00:01:55,116 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:01:55,241 --> 00:01:56,617 ♪ People spouting: "Howdy neighbor." ♪
00:01:56,742 --> 00:01:58,119 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
00:01:58,244 --> 00:01:59,870 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:04,542 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
00:02:04,667 --> 00:02:06,627 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,547 Stan, where'd you get that black eye?
00:02:09,672 --> 00:02:11,757 Nothing, I mean nowhere.
00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:13,467 Your sister beat you up again, huh?
00:02:13,592 --> 00:02:14,844 No!
00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:17,388 Yeah, your sister kicked your ass!
00:02:17,513 --> 00:02:19,014 She's just pissed off
00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:20,182 'cause she got headgear at the dentist.
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:21,350 She's taking it out on me.
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:22,935 Yeah, but that sucks you
00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:24,562 get your butt kicked by a girl, Stan.
00:02:24,687 --> 00:02:25,896 I would never let a woman kick my ass.
00:02:26,021 --> 00:02:27,523 If she tried anything,
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:30,025 I'd be like, "Hey, you get your bitch-ass
00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:32,570 back in the kitchen and make me some pie!"
00:02:32,695 --> 00:02:34,530 My parents don't even believe that she beats me up.
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:36,323 They think she's all innocent and sweet.
00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:37,992 But I know that she's an evil bitch.
00:02:38,117 --> 00:02:39,326 Be a man, Stan.
00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:41,328 Just say, "Hey, woman!
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:44,373 You shut your mouth and make babies!"
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,125 Hey, Kyle, what's that elephant doing?
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:47,668 You mean this one?
00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:49,461 Yeah. - He's my new pet elephant.
00:02:49,587 --> 00:02:51,755 Wow, dude. Where'd you get a pet elephant?
00:02:51,881 --> 00:02:53,465 I got it mail order from Africa.
00:02:53,591 --> 00:02:54,842 The ad said it would take 4 to 6 weeks,
00:02:54,967 --> 00:02:56,468 but it only took 3!
00:02:56,594 --> 00:02:58,429 Wow, that's cool! - No, it's not cool!
00:02:58,554 --> 00:03:00,139 My mom won't let me keep him in the house!
00:03:00,264 --> 00:03:01,390 She says he's too big and that its poop
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:02,975 is bigger than our couch.
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,186 That's why my mom got me a potbellied pig
00:03:05,311 --> 00:03:07,062 because its poop is small.
00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:13,319 Well, yeah, but pigs aren't smart like elephants.
00:03:13,444 --> 00:03:15,779 Hey! Wait a minute!
00:03:15,905 --> 00:03:17,531 What is that thing?
00:03:17,656 --> 00:03:21,285 Uh, oh. This is the new retarded kid.
00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:23,871 Oh, I'm sorry, little girl.
00:03:23,996 --> 00:03:25,706 But you still can't get on.
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:28,876 You have to take the special ed bus!
00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:33,047 Boy, it looks like you're not welcome anywhere, elephant.
00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:34,798 See you!
00:03:34,924 --> 00:03:36,842 If a woman ever gave me crap,
00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:39,678 I'd say, "Hey, you go do my laundry!"
00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:41,513 Sit down, kid!
00:03:41,639 --> 00:03:43,098 Yes, ma'am.
00:03:43,224 --> 00:03:45,684 And now, children, our friend Mr. Hat
00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:49,063 is going to tell us all about genetic engineering.
00:03:49,188 --> 00:03:50,856 That's right, Mr. Garrison,
00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:54,068 genetic engineering is an exciting new science.
00:03:54,193 --> 00:03:56,487 You can splice DNA from some animals
00:03:56,612 --> 00:03:58,155 and make them better.
00:03:58,280 --> 00:03:59,949 Mr. Garrison? - Yes, Kyle.
00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:01,408 With genetic engineering,
00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:02,868 can you make an elephant smaller?
00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:05,704 Well, yes, I suppose you could.
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,790 You could splice elephant genes
00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:10,251 with a dog or cat or potbellied pig genes.
00:04:10,376 --> 00:04:11,710 That's it!
00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:13,587 I'm going to combine my elephant
00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:15,256 with a potbellied pig and make potbellied elephants.
00:04:16,799 --> 00:04:17,716 They'd be smart like elephants,
00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:19,009 but small like pigs.
00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:20,302 That'd be cool!
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:21,512 I want a potbellied elephant.
00:04:21,637 --> 00:04:23,055 Yes, I'll pay $50 for one.
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,181 That's stupid.
00:04:24,306 --> 00:04:25,724 Shut up, Terrance!
00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:27,309 We can genetical engineer anything we want.
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:28,811 Oh, yeah? I bet I can
00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:30,521 genetically clone a whole human being
00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:32,356 before you crossbreed an elephant and a pig.
00:04:32,481 --> 00:04:34,525 I'll bet you can't! - Watch me, plebeian!
00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:36,318 Well, spank my ass and call me Charlie.
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:37,778 Isn't this exciting?
00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:40,114 Two A+ students in a cloning war.
00:04:40,239 --> 00:04:42,241 Yes, Mr. Garrison, genetic engineering
00:04:42,366 --> 00:04:44,743 lets us correct God's horrible, horrible mistakes,
00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:46,245 like German people.
00:04:46,370 --> 00:04:47,538 You know, you boys might want to visit
00:04:47,663 --> 00:04:49,248 the genetic engineering ranch
00:04:49,373 --> 00:04:51,208 outside of town for help.
00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:52,668 And you could both use this for your
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,670 science fair projects next month.
00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:58,173 Genetic engineering ranch? Sweet!
00:04:58,299 --> 00:04:59,550 Wait, wait. We still need a pig.
00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:01,093 We can use Cartman's pig.
00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:03,137 Hey! You leave Fluffy out of this!
00:05:03,262 --> 00:05:05,514 We're not gonna hurt her. We just need some of her blood.
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,266 You're not using any of Fluffy's blood!
00:05:07,391 --> 00:05:08,934 Else I'll kick you in the nuts!
00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:11,186 Kyle? Kyle, no!
00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:12,980 Stanley, can I talk to you for a minute?
00:05:13,105 --> 00:05:14,732 Okay. - I couldn't help notice
00:05:14,857 --> 00:05:16,317 that black eye you have.
00:05:16,442 --> 00:05:18,193 Are there problems at home?
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:19,653 Yes.
00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:22,281 Oh, dear. Here, Stanley, sit down.
00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:23,949 Have some cocoa,
00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:25,909 and tell your friend Mr. Hat all about it.
00:05:26,035 --> 00:05:28,037 I'm your friend Mr. Hat, Stan.
00:05:28,162 --> 00:05:29,872 You can tell me anything.
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:31,498 Now, who hit you?
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:33,625 Is it your father or your mother?
00:05:33,751 --> 00:05:35,669 Neither. It's my sister.
00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:37,713 Your sister? Oh, for Pete's sake.
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,173 Don't be such a little wuss!
00:05:39,298 --> 00:05:40,591 Stop wasting Mr. Hat's time
00:05:40,716 --> 00:05:42,176 with pansy little foo-foo problems
00:05:42,301 --> 00:05:44,553 and give me back my cocoa!
00:05:48,724 --> 00:05:52,019 <i>Let's open the phone lines back up for some questions.</i>
00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:53,145 Hey!
00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:56,940 Hi, Shelly.
00:05:57,066 --> 00:05:58,609 Are you looking at my headgear?
00:05:58,734 --> 00:06:00,152 Headgear? What headgear?
00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:01,779 Are you looking at my headgear?
00:06:01,904 --> 00:06:03,697 Oh, gosh, I didn't really notice.
00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:05,199 You little liar!
00:06:05,324 --> 00:06:06,950 No, I think it looks terrific!
00:06:07,076 --> 00:06:08,410 It matches your--
00:06:24,802 --> 00:06:26,678 Ready to go, Stan? - Go where?
00:06:26,804 --> 00:06:28,305 To the genetical engineering ranch.
00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:29,807 We got Cartman's pig so we can splice
00:06:29,932 --> 00:06:31,433 its genes with my elephant.
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,435 Nobody's splicing nothing from Fluffy!
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,355 I swear I'm gonna kill you, Stan!
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,107 Why is your sister so mean to you, dude?
00:06:38,232 --> 00:06:39,983 Yeah, If some sissy chick tried to
00:06:40,109 --> 00:06:43,237 kick my ass, I'd be like, "Hey, listen,
00:06:43,362 --> 00:06:46,448 missy, why don't you go knit me a sweater
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:48,242 before I slap you in the face?"
00:06:48,367 --> 00:06:49,868 Who said that?
00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:57,876 This must be it.
00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,545 Yeah, looks like nobody's home.
00:06:59,670 --> 00:07:01,672 Guess we should come back some other time.
00:07:01,797 --> 00:07:03,340 No, Cartman. We're going in there
00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:05,092 and splicing Fluffy and my elephant together.
00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:07,511 It's okay, Fluffy, I won't let them hurt you.
00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:08,929 It's just a stupid pig.
00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:10,556 Yeah, quit being such a baby.
00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:11,890 Baby? Well, at least I don't get my ass
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:13,517 kicked by a girl!
00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:14,768 At least I'm not a little pig!
00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:16,353 Hey! I'm taking my pig and--
00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:18,522 Screw you guys! I'm going home!
00:07:18,647 --> 00:07:20,566 This whole idea is stupid anyway!
00:07:20,691 --> 00:07:22,609 What the hell would you know, you fat, sweaty Mongoloid?
00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:24,153 You never get higher than a D!
00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:25,779 Hey! Why don't you go back to
00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:27,906 San Francisco with the rest of the Jews?
00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:30,909 There's no Jews in San Francisco, retard!
00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:33,704 I'll kick you in the nuts!
00:07:33,829 --> 00:07:34,913 Can I help you?
00:07:37,416 --> 00:07:39,001 Uh, yeah.
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,336 We wanna crossbreed an elephant with a pig.
00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:42,671 Brilliant idea.
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,965 Huge, elephant-sized pigs.
00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:46,925 No, no, we want to make little potbellied elephants
00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:49,178 that people can keep in their houses as pets.
00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:50,721 Oh, that's an even better idea.
00:07:50,846 --> 00:07:52,514 Come on in.
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,433 I'm so pleased that you children are interested
00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:56,101 in genetic engineering.
00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:59,188 It's okay, Fluffy. Nobody's gonna hurt you.
00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:01,315 It's thanks to the wonders of genetic engineering,
00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:03,192 that soon there will be an end to hunger,
00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:05,527 disease, pollution, even war.
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,112 I've created things that
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:08,780 will change the world for the better.
00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:11,992 For instance, here's a monkey with four asses.
00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:15,245 How does that make the world better?
00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,664 And here, of course, is my four-assed ostrich
00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:19,875 and my four-assed mongoose.
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,211 Do you have anything besides just animals with four asses?
00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:24,463 Oh, well, I suppose so.
00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:26,715 Oh, yes, over here.
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,842 Here I have rats spliced with ducks
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,886 and gorillas spliced with mosquitoes.
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:33,347 And here I have rabbits spliced with fish
00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:35,682 to make little bunny fish.
00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:38,602 Hey, these bunny ears are tied on with little strings!
00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:40,229 And over here, a Swiss cheese
00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:42,314 spliced with chalk and a beard.
00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:44,066 Well, what about our potbellied elephant?
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,193 Oh. Well, I'm sorry, children.
00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:49,780 But pig and elephant DNA just won't splice.
00:08:49,905 --> 00:08:52,366 Haven't you ever heard that song by Loverboy?
00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:53,492 Which song?
00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:56,078 ♪ Pig and elephant DNA ♪
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,704 ♪ Just won't splice ♪
00:08:57,829 --> 00:08:59,331 However, maybe I could help you
00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:01,291 add a few asses to that swine of yours.
00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,585 You can keep your hands off of Fluffy's ass!
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,087 You know, it's amazing what we can do
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:07,256 with a little blood sample these days.
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:08,423 Ow! - Hmm?
00:09:08,549 --> 00:09:10,175 What? Excuse me.
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,094 Wait, what are you taking Stan's blood for?
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:13,512 Oh, pardon me, I tripped.
00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:15,264 Could I have some hair, please?
00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:17,224 Watch out, Stan, genetic engineers are crazy!
00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:18,517 Come on, Fluffy!
00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:24,815 This gas is hurting my anus.
00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:26,358 Yeah, that's pretty fresh.
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:28,652 Ooh, I sure am hungry.
00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:30,153 Hello, gentlemen. Any of you blokes know
00:09:30,279 --> 00:09:31,989 what's for lunch today?
00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:35,701 Lunchy munchies? Hmm?
00:09:35,826 --> 00:09:37,411 Go away, Pip, nobody likes you!
00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:39,538 Yeah, what kind of a name is Pip anyway?
00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:41,373 Well, my father's family name being Pirrip
00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:43,458 and my Christian name, Phillip, my infant tongue--
00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:45,419 God damn it! Would you shut the hell up?
00:09:45,544 --> 00:09:46,628 Nobody gives a rat's ass!
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:47,963 Yeah, go away, Pip.
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,590 Right-o.
00:09:49,715 --> 00:09:52,217 God. French people piss me off.
00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:54,261 Hey, dumb asses! You morons give up
00:09:54,386 --> 00:09:56,346 on your stupid science fair project yet?
00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:58,265 No, we're already halfway done.
00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:00,267 Halfway? Then all you've got
00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:01,685 is a stupid pig.
00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:02,769 Yeah. - Probably a gay pig too.
00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:03,979 Stupid gay pig.
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:05,147 It's more than you've got!
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:06,440 Wrong! We've already got
00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:09,735 our human clone well under way.
00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:11,862 Oh, my God! They cloned a foot!
00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:15,157 Hey, I'll kick your ass!
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,950 Oh, ho!
00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:19,453 By Friday, we're gonna clone a whole human being.
00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:21,413 Good luck with your stupid little pig.
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:22,998 Hello there, children. - Hey, Chef.
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,791 - How you doing? - Bad.
00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:26,084 Why bad?
00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:27,169 We need to genetically engineer
00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:28,420 a pig and an elephant,
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:30,130 but their genes won't splice.
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:32,007 Oh, of course they won't splice, children.
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,092 Haven't you ever heard that song by Loverboy?
00:10:36,011 --> 00:10:37,471 ♪ Pig and elephant DNA just won't splice ♪
00:10:37,596 --> 00:10:39,473 A pig-elephant?
00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:42,309 Say, that's not a bad idea.
00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:43,685 I told you guys.
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,896 Imagine a pint-sized elephant
00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:47,981 that you could keep in the house.
00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:51,485 Children, we could make a fortune with this.
00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:53,362 You hear that, dudes? We'll be rich!
00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:55,697 Forget about all that genetic engineering hoosa fudge.
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:58,325 If you want to combine a pig and an elephant,
00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:01,370 just get them to make sweet love.
00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:02,454 What? - I don't think an elephant
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:03,955 would make love to a pig.
00:11:04,081 --> 00:11:05,457 I don't think my pig would wanna
00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:07,334 make love to that stupid elephant!
00:11:07,459 --> 00:11:09,002 Sure they would,
00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:10,462 but you're gonna have to get them in the mood.
00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:11,630 Well, how do we do that?
00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:12,673 Do what I do,
00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:14,966 get them good and drunk.
00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:16,968 Hey, uh, you guys wanna come over?
00:11:17,094 --> 00:11:18,011 We've got work to do.
00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:19,262 I think it takes a while
00:11:19,388 --> 00:11:20,806 for an elephant to get drunk.
00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:21,890 Really, you guys don't wanna come over
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,684 for just a little bit?
00:11:23,809 --> 00:11:24,976 Why, is your sister gonna kick your ass again?
00:11:25,102 --> 00:11:26,061 Shut up, Cartman!
00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:29,523 Yeah, Stan, she's just a girl.
00:11:29,648 --> 00:11:32,442 Yeah, if some girl tried to kick my ass, I'd be like,
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:34,528 "Hey, why don't you stop
00:11:34,653 --> 00:11:36,363 dressing me up like a mailman
00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:38,365 and making me dance for you
00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:40,742 while you smoke crack in your bedroom
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:43,161 and have sex with some guy I don't even know
00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:45,038 on my dad's bed!"
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:51,002 Cartman, what the hell are you talking about?
00:11:51,128 --> 00:11:52,087 I'm just saying you're just a little wuss.
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:53,422 That's all.
00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:54,631 Stan, you can use family love
00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:56,299 as a weapon against Shelly.
00:11:56,425 --> 00:11:57,884 The next time she's going to kick your ass,
00:11:58,009 --> 00:11:59,720 just tell her, "Shelly, you're my sister.
00:11:59,845 --> 00:12:00,721 And I love you."
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,557 Sick, dude. She's my sister!
00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:05,058 Try it. We'll see you in a while.
00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:06,601 We've gotta go get Cartman's pig.
00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:07,894 No, you don't gotta get Cartman's pig!
00:12:08,019 --> 00:12:09,646 You leave Fluffy out of this!
00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:11,273 Come on, Kenny. - Kyle, no!
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,483 No elephant is gonna make love to Fluffy!
00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:17,195 I -Kyle, I will kick you in the nuts!
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:18,447 Crap!
00:12:18,572 --> 00:12:20,198 <i>And now back to</i>
00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:21,783 <i>"Jesus and Pals" on South Park public--</i>
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,286 Are you staring at my neck brace?
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:25,579 No. I mean, yes?
00:12:25,704 --> 00:12:27,497 I mean, what neck brace?
00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:28,915 Shelly,
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,500 before you beat my face
00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:32,085 into a bloody pulp again, I just want you
00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:34,254 to know that you're my sister,
00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:35,589 and I love you.
00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:43,513 Someday, Shelly, I'm gonna be bigger than you.
00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:45,974 And you're gonna wish you'd never done any of this to me.
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:48,977 You'll never be bigger than me, Stan.
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,270 Never!
00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:53,064 Beautiful.
00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:54,858 It's absolutely beautiful.
00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:56,359 My son,
00:12:56,485 --> 00:12:57,944 I think we've finally done it.
00:12:58,069 --> 00:12:59,321 Yes, we have, Dad.
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,448 My very own human clone.
00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:03,533 Hope it's not a gay clone.
00:13:03,658 --> 00:13:06,453 Yeah. That was stupid. - That's so stupid.
00:13:06,578 --> 00:13:08,371 Come on, elephant, keep drinking.
00:13:08,497 --> 00:13:09,831 Damn, I wonder how drunk he needs to be
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,625 to make sweet love to the pig.
00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:16,838 Damn it! This is never gonna work!
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,298 Hello, children.
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:19,925 I thought I'd check and see how
00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:22,719 our little entrepreneurial venture is going.
00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:23,845 Rotten. They're both really drunk,
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,388 but won't have sex!
00:13:25,514 --> 00:13:27,682 Oh, children, you just can't stick
00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:29,726 a drunk pig with a drunk elephant
00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:32,854 and expect them to do the mattress mambo.
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,564 You need to set the mood.
00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:36,525 Let me show you boys what I'm talking about.
00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:41,029 ♪ Tonight is right for love ♪
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,989 ♪ You know I wanna touch you ♪
00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:45,283 ♪ Where the lights don't go ♪
00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:47,911 ♪ Tonight is right for love ♪
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:52,958 ♪ Love gravy ♪
00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:55,502 ♪ Expressing love so sweet ♪
00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:57,712 ♪ I want to keep you burnin' ♪
00:13:57,838 --> 00:13:59,798 ♪ Like a dog in heat ♪
00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:02,300 ♪ Tonight is right for love ♪
00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:07,013 ♪ Love gravy ♪
00:14:07,138 --> 00:14:10,308 Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Elton John!
00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:13,436 ♪ Ooh, tonight ♪
00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:17,357 ♪ Oh, it's right ♪
00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:19,693 ♪ Ooh, tonight is right for love ♪
00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:21,820 ♪ Love gravy ♪
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:24,656 Thank you, Elton.
00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:26,825 ♪ Tonight is right for love ♪
00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:32,163 ♪ Love gravy ♪
00:14:32,289 --> 00:14:34,916 Hey, look! It's working!
00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:37,335 Now, children, gather round
00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:40,338 and watch the wonders of life.
00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:42,591 The beauty of Mother Nature.
00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:45,802 Oh, sick!
00:14:45,927 --> 00:14:47,053 Fluffy!
00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:48,221 Hmm.
00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:49,556 Now I know how all those
00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:51,683 white women must have felt.
00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:56,688 Oh, how luscious.
00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:57,939 Our creature has come to fruition, boys.
00:14:58,064 --> 00:14:59,691 Dad, you're the best.
00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:00,775 Oh, my God!
00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:02,235 He only has one ass!
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:03,445 He's of no use to me.
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,488 I'll have to burn the room.
00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:07,866 Oh, no.
00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:08,992 This entire experiment
00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:10,619 is turning out very bad.
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:13,246 Me bad?
00:15:14,706 --> 00:15:16,666 Egads! He's out of control.
00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:18,209 We'll have to destroy him!
00:15:18,335 --> 00:15:19,502 But he's our science fair project!
00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:24,341 He's too dangerous, son.
00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:26,843 But, Dad, I want a human clone!
00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:28,720 Son, no!
00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:34,684 Oh, son, you've made a horrible mistake.
00:15:34,809 --> 00:15:36,227 You've put all the people of South Park
00:15:36,353 --> 00:15:37,437 in jeopardy!
00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:38,730 They're all stupid anyway.
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:40,690 Come on, guys, let's go.
00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:42,692 Yeah, they're all gay.
00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:45,028 Aren't they ever gonna wake up?
00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:46,613 Oh, they will.
00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:48,990 It's gonna be one ugly sight.
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,659 I thought you said the wonder of Mother Nature
00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:52,035 was a beautiful thing.
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,244 Yeah, when does Mother Nature
00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:54,871 go from beautiful to ugly?
00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:57,791 Usually about 9:30 in the morning, children.
00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:00,752 Uh oh. Here we go.
00:16:05,006 --> 00:16:07,550 Ah, there's nothing worse than getting all drunk
00:16:07,676 --> 00:16:10,261 and waking up the next morning next to a pig.
00:16:12,555 --> 00:16:14,182 Or a big, fat elephant.
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:15,725 Hey, how do we know if she's pregnant?
00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:17,310 Well, boys, we might not know that
00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:19,813 for a couple of days. - Couple of days?
00:16:19,938 --> 00:16:22,148 But Terrance is going to have his human clone by tomorrow.
00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:23,900 Well, good job, Einstein!
00:16:24,025 --> 00:16:25,443 Why don't we just build a rocket in the meantime?
00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:27,821 Oh, thank Buddha I found you boys.
00:16:27,946 --> 00:16:30,532 You must tell me, have you seen anything odd lately?
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:33,284 Uh, we saw an elephant have sex with a pig.
00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:35,078 No, no, I said odd.
00:16:35,203 --> 00:16:37,831 Hey, you're that crazy cracker from up on the hill.
00:16:37,956 --> 00:16:41,668 Sir, if making mutant animals spliced with humans is crazy,
00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:43,837 then...
00:16:43,962 --> 00:16:46,214 Uh...
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:47,340 Hmm.
00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:49,426 Oh, never mind.
00:16:49,551 --> 00:16:50,802 I'm afraid there's been a bit
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:52,470 of an incident at the ranch.
00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:53,847 You see, I've created a large mutant clone
00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:55,473 of that little boy there,
00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:57,976 and he's broken free.
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:00,770 A big, mutant version of me?
00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:01,938 Is he bigger than a regular clone?
00:17:02,063 --> 00:17:03,857 He's terribly dangerous.
00:17:03,982 --> 00:17:05,984 His brain is identical to yours.
00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:08,153 I need you to help me find him.
00:17:12,741 --> 00:17:17,120 Stan, are you wearing a different hat?
00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:18,413 Hey!
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:19,622 I know a certain young man
00:17:19,748 --> 00:17:21,166 who's itching for detention!
00:17:24,419 --> 00:17:25,962 How big do you think he is?
00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:27,088 I bet he weighs 400 pounds!
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:28,715 Come on, Stan,
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:29,716 don't you even know where you would go?
00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:32,761 Oh, my God!
00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:36,890 <i>It appears that the horrible, destructive creature</i>
00:17:37,015 --> 00:17:40,310 <i>is 8-year-old Stan Marsh of South Park.</i>
00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:42,520 <i>When asked why he was wreaking havoc</i>
00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:45,690 <i>on his hometown, the little boy replied simply,</i>
00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:49,319 <i>"Me Stan."</i>
00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:51,154 <i>Back to you in the studio.</i>
00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:53,073 <i>Thanks, Tom. Police are requesting that</i>
00:17:53,198 --> 00:17:54,866 <i>if you see this little 8-year-old boy,</i>
00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:56,242 <i>you immediately kill him and burn his body.</i>
00:17:56,367 --> 00:17:57,827 <i>That's all for now.</i>
00:17:57,952 --> 00:17:59,788 <i>And now back to "Jesus and Pals."</i>
00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:01,664 <i>Yea, the way is paved with gold</i>
00:18:01,790 --> 00:18:03,333 <i>for ye who seek truth and--</i>
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:07,962 <i>Jesus!</i>
00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:11,925 Officer Barbrady, my evil genetic clone
00:18:12,050 --> 00:18:12,967 is destroying the town.
00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:14,886 We have to find him.
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:16,930 You boys have been watching "The X Files" too much.
00:18:17,055 --> 00:18:19,349 There's no such thing as genetic clone--
00:18:19,474 --> 00:18:20,350 Whoa!
00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:22,852 <i>You kids go on home.</i>
00:18:22,977 --> 00:18:24,479 <i>There's nothing to see here.</i>
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:25,939 Come on, let's go!
00:18:26,064 --> 00:18:27,565 There you are!
00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:30,276 Stanley, you tore up my entire gun shop!
00:18:30,401 --> 00:18:33,071 You better have a good explanation for this, mister!
00:18:33,196 --> 00:18:34,322 It wasn't me, Uncle Jimbo.
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:35,949 It was my evil genetic clone.
00:18:36,074 --> 00:18:38,243 Stanley, what the hell has gotten into you?
00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:40,912 You have got severe lunchroom duty, mister!
00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:43,665 I'm gonna have a word with your father, Stanley!
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:44,707 Yeah, you wait till your father
00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:45,917 hears about this.
00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:48,586 Wait, Stan, there he goes.
00:18:48,711 --> 00:18:49,712 Stop!
00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:54,050 He recognizes you, dude.
00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:55,885 That's good. That's good, dude.
00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,011 Just calm down.
00:19:01,099 --> 00:19:03,643 What should we do with him?
00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:06,104 Stan, how would you like to go home
00:19:06,229 --> 00:19:07,522 and meet your sister?
00:19:12,277 --> 00:19:13,736 So remember, Shelly's the one
00:19:13,862 --> 00:19:14,988 with a big wire coming out of her mouth
00:19:15,113 --> 00:19:16,489 and a metal plate on her back.
00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:17,824 When you see Shelly, kick her ass.
00:19:17,949 --> 00:19:20,076 Shelly bad. Shelly very bad!
00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:21,286 Me bad?
00:19:21,411 --> 00:19:24,080 No, Shelly bad. You good.
00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:28,168 He's tearing up the house.
00:19:28,293 --> 00:19:29,169 Stop him!
00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:43,349 What the hell do you want?
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:50,940 Boys! Boys, I'm lusciously sorry for everything.
00:19:51,065 --> 00:19:53,443 Hey, they got our clone. He belongs to us.
00:19:53,568 --> 00:19:55,278 No, son, this beast is a disgrace
00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:57,197 to genetic engineers everywhere.
00:19:57,322 --> 00:20:00,867 Boys, I'm sorry I've caused you such inconvenience.
00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:02,452 I tried to play God and I failed.
00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:06,372 Daddy, no!
00:20:06,497 --> 00:20:08,249 All I ever wanted was to genetically
00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:10,168 engineer something useful.
00:20:10,293 --> 00:20:12,045 But I failed.
00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:14,130 Perhaps we shouldn't be toying with God's creations.
00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:16,341 Perhaps we should leave nature alone
00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:18,968 to its simple one-assed schematics.
00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:21,179 You cheating bastards. This isn't over!
00:20:21,304 --> 00:20:22,972 Just wait until tomorrow!
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,351 Oh, my God! They killed Kenny!
00:20:26,476 --> 00:20:28,603 You bastard!
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:29,854 Mom and Dad are home.
00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:31,022 My house is a disaster!
00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:32,315 You guys gotta help me.
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:33,483 I ain't helping crap.
00:20:33,608 --> 00:20:34,943 I wanna eat some pie.
00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:36,319 You can't just leave me here alone!
00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:37,862 Oh, yeah? Watch me.
00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:39,322 Yeah, Stan, we have to go find out
00:20:39,447 --> 00:20:40,615 if Cartman's pig is pregnant or not.
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,617 See ya! - Thanks a lot!
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:43,952 Oh, boy,
00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:46,996 you are gonna get it now.
00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:49,165 It isn't fair.
00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:50,500 Everybody hates me.
00:20:50,625 --> 00:20:52,293 The whole town wants me killed.
00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:54,921 Mom and Dad are gonna send me away.
00:20:55,046 --> 00:20:56,923 I don't wanna be sent away.
00:20:57,048 --> 00:20:58,508 I wanna stay here!
00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:02,053 Stanley, what-- what in God's name
00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:03,888 have you been doing?
00:21:04,013 --> 00:21:06,432 Everybody in town is upset with you, young man.
00:21:06,557 --> 00:21:07,642 What's going on?
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,102 Are you on drugs?
00:21:09,227 --> 00:21:11,604 It's not Stan's fault.
00:21:11,729 --> 00:21:13,523 Huh? - It wasn't Stan.
00:21:13,648 --> 00:21:15,358 He was--
00:21:15,483 --> 00:21:18,027 He was with me the whole time.
00:21:18,152 --> 00:21:20,363 Oh. Well, Stan, we're, uh--
00:21:20,488 --> 00:21:22,615 we're sorry we jumped to conclusions.
00:21:22,740 --> 00:21:23,741 Oh, honey.
00:21:23,866 --> 00:21:25,576 Please forgive us, son.
00:21:27,996 --> 00:21:30,290 Shelly, you saved my life.
00:21:30,415 --> 00:21:32,750 And yet you've done so much more than that.
00:21:32,875 --> 00:21:34,961 Today you've taught me the meaning of family.
00:21:35,086 --> 00:21:36,587 Sure, families don't always get along.
00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:38,756 But when the forces of evil descend upon us,
00:21:38,881 --> 00:21:40,675 we conquer them by sticking together.
00:21:53,021 --> 00:21:54,981 Everyone, let's give Casey and his weed a big hand.
00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:57,734 Okay, Kyle, we're ready to see
00:21:57,859 --> 00:21:59,360 your science project.
00:21:59,485 --> 00:22:01,279 Well, our pig hasn't given birth yet.
00:22:01,404 --> 00:22:03,114 But she should any time now.
00:22:03,239 --> 00:22:04,699 Oh, well, then I guess you get an F.
00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:06,159 Okay, Terrance, I know the class
00:22:06,284 --> 00:22:08,578 can hardly wait to see yours.
00:22:08,703 --> 00:22:10,038 Thank you, Mr. Garrison.
00:22:10,163 --> 00:22:12,665 Boys, Mr. Garrison, fellow students,
00:22:12,790 --> 00:22:14,292 for our science fair project
00:22:14,417 --> 00:22:16,002 Bill Fossey and I have spawned a creature
00:22:16,127 --> 00:22:18,129 genetically far superior to man.
00:22:18,254 --> 00:22:19,464 I present to you
00:22:19,589 --> 00:22:21,507 the five-assed monkey.
00:22:23,176 --> 00:22:25,178 Oh, Mr. Hat, isn't it beautiful?
00:22:27,305 --> 00:22:29,974 Wait, wait, the pig just gave birth!
00:22:30,099 --> 00:22:31,225 It had a baby!
00:22:32,727 --> 00:22:34,187 What's it look like?
00:22:34,312 --> 00:22:35,855 Does it look like a pig or elephant?
00:22:40,276 --> 00:22:43,237 It kind of looks like Mr. Garrison.
00:22:43,363 --> 00:22:46,407 Oh, gee, isn't that an amazing coincidence?
00:22:46,532 --> 00:22:48,493 What are the odds of that?
00:22:48,618 --> 00:22:50,203 Hmm.
00:22:50,328 --> 00:22:52,246 You boys get first prize.
00:22:55,083 --> 00:22:56,959 That'll do, pig.

00:00:02,003 --> 00:00:03,838 <i>And now a fireside chat</i>
00:00:03,963 --> 00:00:05,214 <i>with the creators of Comedy Central's "South Park, "</i>
00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:07,800 <i>Matt Stone and Trey Parker.</i>
00:00:12,972 --> 00:00:13,931 With a--
00:00:14,056 --> 00:00:18,477 [both vocalizing]
00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:19,687 Hello, I'm Trey Parker.
00:00:19,812 --> 00:00:20,855 And I'm Matt Stone.
00:00:20,980 --> 00:00:21,981 And this is ole Scratch.
00:00:22,106 --> 00:00:23,983 Say hi, old fella.
00:00:24,108 --> 00:00:26,360 This episode is called "An Elephant Fucks a Pig."
00:00:26,485 --> 00:00:28,070 But the networks had it changed
00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:29,864 to "An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig."
00:00:29,989 --> 00:00:31,532 Which is kind of silly,
00:00:31,657 --> 00:00:33,075 because if an elephant was on top of a pig,
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,535 it wouldn't be making love to it,
00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:37,663 it would be fucking it.
00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:39,290 Would you agree with the statement, "This episode
00:00:39,415 --> 00:00:41,292 confirms that Matt Stone and Trey Parker
00:00:41,417 --> 00:00:43,627 are nothing but sick weirdos"?
00:00:43,753 --> 00:00:46,213 You know, what is so sick and wrong about two beings
00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:47,882 sharing the most intimate of moments?
00:00:48,007 --> 00:00:50,217 That's what I want to know.
00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:52,678 Do you come at the gene splicing of DNA
00:00:52,803 --> 00:00:54,305 from personal experience?
00:00:54,430 --> 00:00:56,015 Well, yes, I actually made Trey
00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:58,642 from splicing a tomato and a flounder.
00:00:58,768 --> 00:01:01,520 Guys, do you have strong ethical views
00:01:01,645 --> 00:01:04,106 on whether we should tamper with nature in real life?
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:05,691 Well, both Matt and I think
00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:07,735 that genetic engineering is great,
00:01:07,860 --> 00:01:10,112 and that everything should be spliced with everything.
00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:11,906 Why, that's the only way
00:01:12,031 --> 00:01:13,532 we're ever gonna become perfect beings.
00:01:13,657 --> 00:01:15,159 Isn't that right, ole Scratch?
00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:17,203 I think we should splice pigs with elephants
00:01:17,328 --> 00:01:19,121 and tomatoes with apples.
00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:21,707 I myself would like to be spliced with Fiona Apple.
00:01:21,832 --> 00:01:23,292 [abrupt guitar notes]
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,920 [laughs] [both laugh]
00:01:26,045 --> 00:01:28,005 And so now, sit back, relax,
00:01:28,130 --> 00:01:31,050 and enjoy "An Elephant Fucks a Pig."
00:01:40,476 --> 00:01:43,354 <i>[twangy music]</i>
00:01:43,479 --> 00:01:44,855 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
00:01:44,980 --> 00:01:46,857 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
00:01:46,982 --> 00:01:48,567 all: ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:50,111 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
00:01:50,236 --> 00:01:51,570 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪
00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:53,405 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
00:01:53,531 --> 00:01:55,116 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
00:01:55,241 --> 00:01:56,617 ♪ People spouting: "Howdy neighbor!" ♪
00:01:56,742 --> 00:01:58,119 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
00:01:58,244 --> 00:01:59,870 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:03,040 [singing indistinctly]
00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:04,542 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
00:02:04,667 --> 00:02:06,627 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,547 Stan, where'd you get that black eye?
00:02:09,672 --> 00:02:11,757 Nothing, I mean nowhere.
00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:13,467 Your sister beat you up again, huh?
00:02:13,592 --> 00:02:14,844 No! - [chuckles]
00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:17,388 Yeah, your sister kicked your ass!
00:02:17,513 --> 00:02:19,014 She's just pissed off
00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:20,182 'cause she got headgear at the dentist.
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:21,350 She's taking it out on me.
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:22,935 Yeah, but that sucks you
00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:24,562 get your butt kicked by a girl, Stan.
00:02:24,687 --> 00:02:25,896 I would never let a woman kick my ass.
00:02:26,021 --> 00:02:27,523 If she tried anything,
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:30,025 I'd be like, "Hey, you get your bitch-ass
00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:32,570 back in the kitchen and make me some pie!"
00:02:32,695 --> 00:02:34,530 My parents don't even believe that she beats me up.
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:36,323 They think she's all innocent and sweet.
00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:37,992 But I know that she's an evil bitch.
00:02:38,117 --> 00:02:39,326 Be a man, Stan.
00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:41,328 Just say, "Hey, woman!
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:44,373 You shut your mouth and make babies!"
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,125 Hey, Kyle, what's that elephant doing?
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:47,668 You mean this one?
00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:49,461 Yeah. - He's my new pet elephant.
00:02:49,587 --> 00:02:51,755 Wow, dude. Where'd you get a pet elephant?
00:02:51,881 --> 00:02:53,465 I got it mail order from Africa.
00:02:53,591 --> 00:02:54,842 The ad said it would take 4 to 6 weeks,
00:02:54,967 --> 00:02:56,468 but it only took 3!
00:02:56,594 --> 00:02:58,429 Wow, that's cool! - No, it's not cool!
00:02:58,554 --> 00:03:00,139 My mom won't let me keep him in the house!
00:03:00,264 --> 00:03:01,390 She says he's too big and that its poop
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:02,975 is bigger than our couch.
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,186 That's why my mom got me a potbellied pig
00:03:05,311 --> 00:03:07,062 because its poop is small.
00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:09,690 [muffled speech]
00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:13,319 Well, yeah, but pigs aren't smart like elephants.
00:03:13,444 --> 00:03:15,779 Hey! Wait a minute!
00:03:15,905 --> 00:03:17,531 What is that thing?
00:03:17,656 --> 00:03:21,285 Uh, oh. This is the new retarded kid.
00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:23,871 Oh, I'm sorry, little girl.
00:03:23,996 --> 00:03:25,706 But you still can't get on.
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:28,876 You have to take the special ed bus!
00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:30,920 [kids moaning and chattering indistinctly]
00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:33,047 Boy, it looks like you're not welcome anywhere, elephant.
00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:34,798 See you!
00:03:34,924 --> 00:03:36,842 If a woman ever gave me crap,
00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:39,678 I'd say, "Hey, you go do my laundry!"
00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:41,513 Sit down, kid!
00:03:41,639 --> 00:03:43,098 Yes, ma'am.
00:03:43,224 --> 00:03:45,684 And now, children, our friend Mr. Hat
00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:49,063 is going to tell us all about genetic engineering.
00:03:49,188 --> 00:03:50,856 That's right, Mr. Garrison,
00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:54,068 genetic engineering is an exciting new science.
00:03:54,193 --> 00:03:56,487 You can splice DNA from some animals
00:03:56,612 --> 00:03:58,155 and make them better.
00:03:58,280 --> 00:03:59,949 Mr. Garrison? - Yes, Kyle.
00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:01,408 With genetic engineering,
00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:02,868 can you make an elephant smaller?
00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:05,704 Well, yes, I suppose you could.
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,790 You could splice elephant genes
00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:10,251 with a dog or cat or potbellied pig genes.
00:04:10,376 --> 00:04:11,710 That's it!
00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:13,587 I'm going to combine my elephant
00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:15,256 with a potbellied pig and make potbellied elephants.
00:04:15,381 --> 00:04:16,674 [all gasp]
00:04:16,799 --> 00:04:17,716 They'd be smart like elephants,
00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:19,009 but small like pigs.
00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:20,302 That'd be cool!
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:21,512 I want a potbellied elephant.
00:04:21,637 --> 00:04:23,055 Yes, I'll pay $50 for one.
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,181 That's stupid.
00:04:24,306 --> 00:04:25,724 Shut up, Terrance!
00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:27,309 We can genetical engineer anything we want.
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:28,811 Oh, yeah? I bet I can
00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:30,521 genetically clone a whole human being
00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:32,356 before you crossbreed an elephant and a pig.
00:04:32,481 --> 00:04:34,525 I'll bet you can't! - Watch me, plebeian!
00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:36,318 Well, spank my ass and call me Charlie.
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:37,778 Isn't this exciting?
00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:40,114 Two A+ students in a cloning war.
00:04:40,239 --> 00:04:42,241 Yes, Mr. Garrison, genetic engineering
00:04:42,366 --> 00:04:44,743 lets us correct God's horrible, horrible mistakes,
00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:46,245 like German people.
00:04:46,370 --> 00:04:47,538 You know, you boys might want to visit
00:04:47,663 --> 00:04:49,248 the genetic engineering ranch
00:04:49,373 --> 00:04:51,208 outside of town for help.
00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:52,668 And you could both use this for your
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,670 science fair projects next month.
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,213 [bell rings]
00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:58,173 Genetic engineering ranch? Sweet!
00:04:58,299 --> 00:04:59,550 Wait, wait. We still need a pig.
00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:01,093 We can use Cartman's pig.
00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:03,137 Hey! You leave Fluffy out of this!
00:05:03,262 --> 00:05:05,514 We're not gonna hurt her. We just need some of her blood.
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,266 You're not using any of Fluffy's blood!
00:05:07,391 --> 00:05:08,934 Else I'll kick you in the nuts!
00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:11,186 Kyle? Kyle, no!
00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:12,980 Stanley, can I talk to you for a minute?
00:05:13,105 --> 00:05:14,732 Okay. - I couldn't help notice
00:05:14,857 --> 00:05:16,317 that black eye you have.
00:05:16,442 --> 00:05:18,193 Are there problems at home?
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:19,653 Yes.
00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:22,281 Oh, dear. Here, Stanley, sit down.
00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:23,949 Have some cocoa,
00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:25,909 and tell your friend Mr. Hat all about it.
00:05:26,035 --> 00:05:28,037 I'm your friend Mr. Hat, Stan.
00:05:28,162 --> 00:05:29,872 You can tell me anything.
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:31,498 Now, who hit you?
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:33,625 Is it your father or your mother?
00:05:33,751 --> 00:05:35,669 Neither. It's my sister.
00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:37,713 Your sister? Oh, for Pete's sake.
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,173 Don't be such a little wuss!
00:05:39,298 --> 00:05:40,591 Stop wasting Mr. Hat's time
00:05:40,716 --> 00:05:42,176 with pansy little foo-foo problems
00:05:42,301 --> 00:05:44,553 and give me back my cocoa!
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:48,599 [moody string music]
00:05:48,724 --> 00:05:52,019 <i>Let's open the phone lines back up for some questions.</i>
00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:53,145 Hey!
00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:56,940 Hi, Shelly.
00:05:57,066 --> 00:05:58,609 Are you looking at my headgear?
00:05:58,734 --> 00:06:00,152 Headgear? What headgear?
00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:01,779 Are you looking at my headgear?
00:06:01,904 --> 00:06:03,697 Oh, gosh, I didn't really notice.
00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:05,199 You little liar!
00:06:05,324 --> 00:06:06,950 No, I think it looks terrific!
00:06:07,076 --> 00:06:08,410 It matches your-- [screams]
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:12,331 [smacking and thudding]
00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:13,332 [Stan continues screaming]
00:06:13,457 --> 00:06:15,918 [thudding]
00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:17,086 [Stan continues screaming]
00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:19,755 [Shelly panting]
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:23,217 [electricity zapping, Stan screaming]
00:06:23,342 --> 00:06:24,676 [glass shatters, Stan screams]
00:06:24,802 --> 00:06:26,678 Ready to go, Stan? - Go where?
00:06:26,804 --> 00:06:28,305 To the genetical engineering ranch.
00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:29,807 We got Cartman's pig so we can splice
00:06:29,932 --> 00:06:31,433 its genes with my elephant.
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,435 Nobody's splicing nothing from Fluffy!
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,355 I swear I'm gonna kill you, Stan!
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,107 Why is your sister so mean to you, dude?
00:06:38,232 --> 00:06:39,983 Yeah, If some sissy chick tried to
00:06:40,109 --> 00:06:43,237 kick my ass, I'd be like, "Hey, listen,
00:06:43,362 --> 00:06:46,448 missy, why don't you go knit me a sweater
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:48,242 before I slap you in the face?"
00:06:48,367 --> 00:06:49,868 Who said that?
00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:55,749 [foreboding music]
00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:57,876 This must be it. [thunder crashes]
00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,545 Yeah, looks like nobody's home.
00:06:59,670 --> 00:07:01,672 Guess we should come back some other time.
00:07:01,797 --> 00:07:03,340 No, Cartman. We're going in there
00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:05,092 and splicing Fluffy and my elephant together.
00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:07,511 It's okay, Fluffy, I won't let them hurt you.
00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:08,929 It's just a stupid pig.
00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:10,556 Yeah, quit being such a baby.
00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:11,890 Baby? Well, at least I don't get my ass
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:13,517 kicked by a girl!
00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:14,768 At least I'm not a little pig [bleep]!
00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:16,353 Hey! I'm taking my pig and--
00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:18,522 Screw you guys! I'm going home!
00:07:18,647 --> 00:07:20,566 This whole idea is stupid anyway!
00:07:20,691 --> 00:07:22,609 What the hell would you know, you fat, sweaty Mongoloid?
00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:24,153 You never get higher than a D!
00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:25,779 Hey! Why don't you go back to
00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:27,906 San Francisco with the rest of the Jews?
00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:30,909 There's no Jews in San Francisco, retard!
00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:33,704 I'll kick you in the nuts!
00:07:33,829 --> 00:07:34,913 Can I help you?
00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:37,291 [muffled scream]
00:07:37,416 --> 00:07:39,001 Uh, yeah.
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,336 We wanna crossbreed an elephant with a pig.
00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:42,671 Brilliant idea.
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,965 Huge, elephant-sized pigs.
00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:46,925 No, no, we want to make little potbellied elephants
00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:49,178 that people can keep in their houses as pets.
00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:50,721 Oh, that's an even better idea.
00:07:50,846 --> 00:07:52,514 Come on in.
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,433 I'm so pleased that you children are interested
00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:56,101 in genetic engineering.
00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:59,188 It's okay, Fluffy. Nobody's gonna hurt you.
00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:01,315 It's thanks to the wonders of genetic engineering,
00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:03,192 that soon there will be an end to hunger,
00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:05,527 disease, pollution, even war.
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,112 I've created things that
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:08,780 will change the world for the better.
00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:11,992 For instance, here's a monkey with four asses.
00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:13,577 [grumbles]
00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:15,245 How does that make the world better?
00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,664 And here, of course, is my four-assed ostrich
00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:19,875 and my four-assed mongoose.
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,211 Do you have anything besides just animals with four asses?
00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:24,463 Oh, well, I suppose so.
00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:26,715 Oh, yes, over here.
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,842 Here I have rats spliced with ducks
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,886 and gorillas spliced with mosquitoes.
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:33,347 And here I have rabbits spliced with fish
00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:35,682 to make little bunny fish.
00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:38,602 Hey, these bunny ears are tied on with little strings!
00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:40,229 And over here, a Swiss cheese
00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:42,314 spliced with chalk and a beard.
00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:44,066 Well, what about our potbellied elephant?
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,193 Oh. Well, I'm sorry, children.
00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:49,780 But pig and elephant DNA just won't splice.
00:08:49,905 --> 00:08:52,366 Haven't you ever heard that song by Loverboy?
00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:53,492 Which song?
00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:54,660 [rock music]
00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:56,078 ♪ Pig and elephant DNA ♪
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,704 ♪ Just won't splice ♪
00:08:57,829 --> 00:08:59,331 However, maybe I could help you
00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:01,291 add a few asses to that swine of yours.
00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,585 You can keep your hands off of Fluffy's ass!
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,087 You know, it's amazing what we can do
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:07,256 with a little blood sample these days.
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:08,423 Ow! - Hmm?
00:09:08,549 --> 00:09:10,175 What? Excuse me.
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,094 Wait, what are you taking Stan's blood for?
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:13,512 Oh, pardon me, I tripped.
00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:15,264 Could I have some hair, please?
00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:17,224 Watch out, Stan, genetic engineers are crazy!
00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:18,517 Come on, Fluffy!
00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:24,815 This gas is hurting my anus.
00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:26,358 Yeah, that's pretty fresh.
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:28,652 Ooh, I sure am hungry.
00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:30,153 Hello, gentlemen. Any of you blokes know
00:09:30,279 --> 00:09:31,989 what's for lunch today?
00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:35,701 Lunchy munchies? Hmm?
00:09:35,826 --> 00:09:37,411 Go away, Pip, nobody likes you!
00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:39,538 Yeah, what kind of a name is Pip anyway?
00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:41,373 Well, my father's family name being Pirrip
00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:43,458 and my Christian name, Phillip, my infant tongue--
00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:45,419 God damn it! Would you shut the hell up?
00:09:45,544 --> 00:09:46,628 Nobody gives a rat's ass!
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:47,963 Yeah, go away, Pip.
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,590 Right-o.
00:09:49,715 --> 00:09:52,217 God. French people piss me off.
00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:54,261 Hey, dumb asses! You morons give up
00:09:54,386 --> 00:09:56,346 on your stupid science fair project yet?
00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:58,265 No, we're already halfway done.
00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:00,267 Halfway? Then all you've got
00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:01,685 is a stupid pig.
00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:02,769 Yeah. - Probably a gay pig too.
00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:03,979 Stupid gay pig.
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:05,147 It's more than you've got!
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:06,440 Wrong! We've already got
00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:09,735 our human clone well under way.
00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:11,862 Oh, my God! They cloned a foot!
00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:15,157 Hey, I'll kick your ass!
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,950 Oh, ho!
00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:19,453 By Friday, we're gonna clone a whole human being.
00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:21,413 Good luck with your stupid little pig.
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:22,998 Hello there, children. - Hey, Chef.
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,791 How you doing? Both: Bad.
00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:26,084 Why bad?
00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:27,169 We need to genetically engineer
00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:28,420 a pig and an elephant,
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:30,130 but their genes won't splice.
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:32,007 Oh, of course they won't splice, children.
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,092 Haven't you ever heard that song by Loverboy?
00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:35,886 [rock music]
00:10:36,011 --> 00:10:37,471 ♪ Pig and elephant DNA just won't splice ♪
00:10:37,596 --> 00:10:39,473 A pig-elephant?
00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:42,309 Say, that's not a bad idea.
00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:43,685 I told you guys.
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,896 Imagine a pint-sized elephant
00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:47,981 that you could keep in the house.
00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:51,485 Children, we could make a fortune with this.
00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:53,362 You hear that, dudes? We'll be rich!
00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:55,697 Forget about all that genetic engineering hoosa fudge.
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:58,325 If you want to combine a pig and an elephant,
00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:01,370 just get them to make sweet love.
00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:02,454 What? - I don't think an elephant
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:03,955 would make love to a pig.
00:11:04,081 --> 00:11:05,457 I don't think my pig would wanna
00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:07,334 make love to that stupid elephant!
00:11:07,459 --> 00:11:09,002 Sure they would,
00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:10,462 but you're gonna have to get them in the mood.
00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:11,630 Well, how do we do that?
00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:12,673 Do what I do,
00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:14,966 get them good and drunk.
00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:16,968 Hey, uh, you guys wanna come over?
00:11:17,094 --> 00:11:18,011 We've got work to do.
00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:19,262 I think it takes a while
00:11:19,388 --> 00:11:20,806 for an elephant to get drunk.
00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:21,890 Really, you guys don't wanna come over
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,684 for just a little bit?
00:11:23,809 --> 00:11:24,976 Why, is your sister gonna kick your ass again?
00:11:25,102 --> 00:11:26,061 Shut up, Cartman!
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,646 [muffled speech]
00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:29,523 Yeah, Stan, she's just a girl.
00:11:29,648 --> 00:11:32,442 Yeah, if some girl tried to kick my ass, I'd be like,
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:34,528 "Hey, why don't you stop
00:11:34,653 --> 00:11:36,363 dressing me up like a mailman
00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:38,365 and making me dance for you
00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:40,742 while you smoke crack in your bedroom
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:43,161 and have sex with some guy I don't even know
00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:45,038 on my dad's bed!"
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:51,002 Cartman, what the hell are you talking about?
00:11:51,128 --> 00:11:52,087 I'm just saying you're just a little wuss.
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:53,422 That's all.
00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:54,631 Stan, you can use family love
00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:56,299 as a weapon against Shelly.
00:11:56,425 --> 00:11:57,884 The next time she's going to kick your ass,
00:11:58,009 --> 00:11:59,720 just tell her, "Shelly, you're my sister.
00:11:59,845 --> 00:12:00,721 And I love you. "
00:12:00,846 --> 00:12:02,055 [muffled speech]
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,557 Sick, dude. She's my sister!
00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:05,058 Try it. We'll see you in a while.
00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:06,601 We've gotta go get Cartman's pig.
00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:07,894 No, you don't gotta get Cartman's pig!
00:12:08,019 --> 00:12:09,646 You leave Fluffy out of this!
00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:11,273 Come on, Kenny. - Kyle, no! [indistinct shouts]
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,483 No elephant is gonna make love to Fluffy!
00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:17,195 I -Kyle, I will kick you in the nuts!
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:18,447 Crap!
00:12:18,572 --> 00:12:20,198 <i>And now back to</i>
00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:21,783 <i>"Jesus and Pals" on South Park public--</i>
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,286 Are you staring at my neck brace?
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:25,579 No. I mean, yes?
00:12:25,704 --> 00:12:27,497 I mean, what neck brace?
00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:28,915 [grunts] - Shelly,
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,500 before you beat my face
00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:32,085 into a bloody pulp again, I just want you
00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:34,254 to know that you're my sister,
00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:35,589 and I love you.
00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:41,511 [Stan screaming]
00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:43,513 Someday, Shelly, I'm gonna be bigger than you.
00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:45,974 And you're gonna wish you'd never done any of this to me.
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:48,977 You'll never be bigger than me, Stan.
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,270 Never!
00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:51,897 [panting]
00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:53,064 Beautiful.
00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:54,858 It's absolutely beautiful.
00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:56,359 My son,
00:12:56,485 --> 00:12:57,944 I think we've finally done it.
00:12:58,069 --> 00:12:59,321 Yes, we have, Dad.
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,448 My very own human clone.
00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:03,533 Hope it's not a gay clone.
00:13:03,658 --> 00:13:06,453 Yeah. That was stupid. - That's so stupid.
00:13:06,578 --> 00:13:08,371 Come on, elephant, keep drinking.
00:13:08,497 --> 00:13:09,831 Damn, I wonder how drunk he needs to be
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,625 to make sweet love to the pig.
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:14,002 [gulping, squeals]
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:15,462 [elephant trumpets]
00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:16,838 Damn it! This is never gonna work!
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,298 Hello, children.
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:19,925 I thought I'd check and see how
00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:22,719 our little entrepreneurial venture is going.
00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:23,845 Rotten. They're both really drunk,
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,388 but won't have sex!
00:13:25,514 --> 00:13:27,682 Oh, children, you just can't stick
00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:29,726 a drunk pig with a drunk elephant
00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:32,854 and expect them to do the mattress mambo.
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,564 You need to set the mood.
00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:36,525 Let me show you boys what I'm talking about.
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:37,901 [mellow music]
00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:41,029 ♪ Tonight is right for love ♪
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,989 ♪ You know I wanna touch you ♪
00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:45,283 ♪ Where the lights don't go ♪
00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:47,911 ♪ Tonight is right for love ♪
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:52,958 ♪ Love gravy ♪
00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:55,502 ♪ Expressing love so sweet ♪
00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:57,712 ♪ I want to keep you burnin' ♪
00:13:57,838 --> 00:13:59,798 ♪ Like a dog in heat ♪
00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:02,300 ♪ Tonight is right for love ♪
00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:07,013 ♪ Love gravy ♪
00:14:07,138 --> 00:14:10,308 Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Elton John!
00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:13,436 ♪ Ooh, tonight ♪
00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:17,357 ♪ Oh, it's right ♪
00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:19,693 ♪ Ooh, tonight is right for love ♪
00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:21,820 ♪ Love gravy ♪
00:14:21,945 --> 00:14:23,154 [applause]
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:24,656 Thank you, Elton.
00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:26,825 ♪ Tonight is right for love ♪
00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:32,163 ♪ Love gravy ♪
00:14:32,289 --> 00:14:34,916 Hey, look! It's working!
00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:37,335 Now, children, gather round
00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:40,338 and watch the wonders of life.
00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:42,591 The beauty of Mother Nature.
00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:44,175 [elephant trumpeting and pig squealing]
00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:45,802 Oh, sick!
00:14:45,927 --> 00:14:47,053 Fluffy!
00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:48,221 Hmm.
00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:49,556 Now I know how all those
00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:51,683 white women must have felt.
00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:56,688 Oh, how luscious.
00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:57,939 Our creature has come to fruition, boys.
00:14:58,064 --> 00:14:59,691 Dad, you're the best.
00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:00,775 Oh, my God!
00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:02,235 He only has one ass!
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:03,445 He's of no use to me.
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,488 I'll have to burn the room.
00:15:05,614 --> 00:15:06,740 [glass shatters]
00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:07,866 Oh, no.
00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:08,992 This entire experiment
00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:10,619 is turning out very bad.
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:13,246 Me bad?
00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:14,581 [frog flopping]
00:15:14,706 --> 00:15:16,666 Egads! He's out of control.
00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:18,209 We'll have to destroy him!
00:15:18,335 --> 00:15:19,502 But he's our science fair project!
00:15:19,628 --> 00:15:22,589 [babbles gibberish]
00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:24,341 He's too dangerous, son.
00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:26,843 But, Dad, I want a human clone!
00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:28,720 Son, no!
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:29,846 [glass shatters]
00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:31,765 [gate shatters]
00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:34,684 Oh, son, you've made a horrible mistake.
00:15:34,809 --> 00:15:36,227 You've put all the people of South Park
00:15:36,353 --> 00:15:37,437 in jeopardy!
00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:38,730 They're all stupid anyway.
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:40,690 Come on, guys, let's go.
00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:42,692 [laughs] Yeah, they're all gay.
00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:45,028 Aren't they ever gonna wake up?
00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:46,613 Oh, they will.
00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:48,990 It's gonna be one ugly sight.
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,659 I thought you said the wonder of Mother Nature
00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:52,035 was a beautiful thing.
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,244 Yeah, when does Mother Nature
00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:54,871 go from beautiful to ugly?
00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:57,791 Usually about 9:30 in the morning, children.
00:15:57,916 --> 00:15:58,959 [elephant gasps]
00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:00,752 Uh oh. Here we go.
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,881 [elephant groans, trumpets]
00:16:05,006 --> 00:16:07,550 Ah, there's nothing worse than getting all drunk
00:16:07,676 --> 00:16:10,261 and waking up the next morning next to a pig.
00:16:10,387 --> 00:16:12,430 [Fluffy squeals]
00:16:12,555 --> 00:16:14,182 Or a big, fat elephant.
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:15,725 Hey, how do we know if she's pregnant?
00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:17,310 Well, boys, we might not know that
00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:19,813 for a couple of days. - Couple of days?
00:16:19,938 --> 00:16:22,148 But Terrance is going to have his human clone by tomorrow.
00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:23,900 Well, good job, Einstein!
00:16:24,025 --> 00:16:25,443 Why don't we just build a rocket in the meantime?
00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:27,821 Oh, thank Buddha I found you boys.
00:16:27,946 --> 00:16:30,532 You must tell me, have you seen anything odd lately?
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:33,284 Uh, we saw an elephant have sex with a pig.
00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:35,078 No, no, I said odd.
00:16:35,203 --> 00:16:37,831 Hey, you're that crazy cracker from up on the hill.
00:16:37,956 --> 00:16:41,668 Sir, if making mutant animals spliced with humans is crazy,
00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:43,837 then...
00:16:43,962 --> 00:16:46,214 Uh...
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:47,340 Hmm.
00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:49,426 Oh, never mind.
00:16:49,551 --> 00:16:50,802 I'm afraid there's been a bit
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:52,470 of an incident at the ranch.
00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:53,847 You see, I've created a large mutant clone
00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:55,473 of that little boy there,
00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:57,976 and he's broken free.
00:16:58,101 --> 00:16:59,227 [muffled speech]
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:00,770 A big, mutant version of me?
00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:01,938 Is he bigger than a regular clone?
00:17:02,063 --> 00:17:03,857 He's terribly dangerous.
00:17:03,982 --> 00:17:05,984 His brain is identical to yours.
00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:08,153 I need you to help me find him.
00:17:08,278 --> 00:17:12,615 [people screaming]
00:17:12,741 --> 00:17:17,120 Stan, are you wearing a different hat?
00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:18,413 Hey!
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:19,622 I know a certain young man
00:17:19,748 --> 00:17:21,166 who's itching for detention!
00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,043 [indistinct speech] - [screams]
00:17:23,168 --> 00:17:24,294 [glass shatters]
00:17:24,419 --> 00:17:25,962 How big do you think he is?
00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:27,088 I bet he weighs 400 pounds!
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:28,715 Come on, Stan,
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:29,716 don't you even know where you would go?
00:17:29,841 --> 00:17:31,468 [muffled speech]
00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:32,761 Oh, my God!
00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:34,804 [men screaming]
00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:36,890 <i>It appears that the horrible, destructive creature</i>
00:17:37,015 --> 00:17:40,310 <i>is 8-year-old Stan Marsh of South Park.</i>
00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:42,520 <i>When asked why he was wreaking havoc</i>
00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:45,690 <i>on his hometown, the little boy replied simply,</i>
00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:49,319 <i>"Me Stan [speaks gibberish]."</i>
00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:51,154 <i>Back to you in the studio.</i>
00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:53,073 <i>Thanks, Tom. Police are requesting that</i>
00:17:53,198 --> 00:17:54,866 <i>if you see this little 8-year-old boy,</i>
00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:56,242 <i>you immediately kill him and burn his body.</i>
00:17:56,367 --> 00:17:57,827 <i>That's all for now.</i>
00:17:57,952 --> 00:17:59,788 <i>And now back to "Jesus and Pals."</i>
00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:01,664 <i>Yea, the way is paved with gold</i>
00:18:01,790 --> 00:18:03,333 <i>for ye who seek truth and--</i>
00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:06,795 <i>[babbling gibberish]</i>
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:07,962 <i>Jesus!</i>
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,006 <i>[babbles gibberish]</i>
00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:11,925 Officer Barbrady, my evil genetic clone
00:18:12,050 --> 00:18:12,967 is destroying the town.
00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:14,886 We have to find him.
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:16,930 You boys have been watching "The X Files" too much.
00:18:17,055 --> 00:18:19,349 There's no such thing as genetic clone--
00:18:19,474 --> 00:18:20,350 Whoa!
00:18:20,475 --> 00:18:21,559 [water splashes]
00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:22,852 <i>You kids go on home.</i>
00:18:22,977 --> 00:18:24,479 <i>There's nothing to see here.</i>
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:25,939 Come on, let's go!
00:18:26,064 --> 00:18:27,565 There you are!
00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:30,276 Stanley, you tore up my entire gun shop!
00:18:30,401 --> 00:18:33,071 You better have a good explanation for this, mister!
00:18:33,196 --> 00:18:34,322 It wasn't me, Uncle Jimbo.
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:35,949 It was my evil genetic clone.
00:18:36,074 --> 00:18:38,243 Stanley, what the hell has gotten into you?
00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:40,912 You have got severe lunchroom duty, mister!
00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:43,665 I'm gonna have a word with your father, Stanley!
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:44,707 Yeah, you wait till your father
00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:45,917 hears about this.
00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:48,586 Wait, Stan, there he goes.
00:18:48,711 --> 00:18:49,712 Stop!
00:18:49,838 --> 00:18:52,590 [babbles gibberish]
00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:54,050 He recognizes you, dude.
00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:55,885 That's good. That's good, dude.
00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,011 Just calm down.
00:18:57,137 --> 00:19:00,974 [babbles gibberish]
00:19:01,099 --> 00:19:03,643 What should we do with him?
00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:06,104 Stan, how would you like to go home
00:19:06,229 --> 00:19:07,522 and meet your sister?
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:10,150 [babbles gibberish]
00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:12,152 [crickets chirping]
00:19:12,277 --> 00:19:13,736 So remember, Shelly's the one
00:19:13,862 --> 00:19:14,988 with a big wire coming out of her mouth
00:19:15,113 --> 00:19:16,489 and a metal plate on her back.
00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:17,824 When you see Shelly, kick her ass.
00:19:17,949 --> 00:19:20,076 Shelly bad. Shelly very bad!
00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:21,286 Me bad?
00:19:21,411 --> 00:19:24,080 No, Shelly bad. You good.
00:19:24,205 --> 00:19:27,125 [items crashing, clattering]
00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:28,168 He's tearing up the house.
00:19:28,293 --> 00:19:29,169 Stop him!
00:19:29,294 --> 00:19:31,087 [muffled speech]
00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:32,797 [microwave beeps, whirs]
00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:35,884 [all shouting indistinctly]
00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:39,095 [panting]
00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:43,349 What the hell do you want?
00:19:43,474 --> 00:19:45,435 [babbles gibberish]
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,729 [screams, groans]
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:50,940 Boys! Boys, I'm lusciously sorry for everything.
00:19:51,065 --> 00:19:53,443 Hey, they got our clone. He belongs to us.
00:19:53,568 --> 00:19:55,278 No, son, this beast is a disgrace
00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:57,197 to genetic engineers everywhere.
00:19:57,322 --> 00:20:00,867 Boys, I'm sorry I've caused you such inconvenience.
00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:02,452 I tried to play God and I failed.
00:20:02,577 --> 00:20:03,870 [gunshot, clone groans]
00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:06,372 Daddy, no!
00:20:06,497 --> 00:20:08,249 All I ever wanted was to genetically
00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:10,168 engineer something useful.
00:20:10,293 --> 00:20:12,045 But I failed.
00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:14,130 Perhaps we shouldn't be toying with God's creations.
00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:16,341 Perhaps we should leave nature alone
00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:18,968 to its simple one-assed schematics.
00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:21,179 You cheating bastards. This isn't over!
00:20:21,304 --> 00:20:22,972 Just wait until tomorrow!
00:20:23,097 --> 00:20:24,432 [microwave beeps, Kenny thuds]
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,351 Oh, my God! They killed Kenny!
00:20:26,476 --> 00:20:28,603 You bastard!
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:29,854 Mom and Dad are home.
00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:31,022 My house is a disaster!
00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:32,315 You guys gotta help me.
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:33,483 I ain't helping crap.
00:20:33,608 --> 00:20:34,943 I wanna eat some pie.
00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:36,319 You can't just leave me here alone!
00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:37,862 Oh, yeah? Watch me.
00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:39,322 Yeah, Stan, we have to go find out
00:20:39,447 --> 00:20:40,615 if Cartman's pig is pregnant or not.
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,617 See ya! - Thanks a lot!
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:43,952 Oh, boy,
00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:46,996 you are gonna get it now.
00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:49,165 It isn't fair.
00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:50,500 Everybody hates me.
00:20:50,625 --> 00:20:52,293 The whole town wants me killed.
00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:54,921 Mom and Dad are gonna send me away.
00:20:55,046 --> 00:20:56,923 I don't wanna be sent away.
00:20:57,048 --> 00:20:58,508 I wanna stay here!
00:20:58,633 --> 00:21:00,551 [sobs]
00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:02,053 Stanley, what-- what in God's name
00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:03,888 have you been doing?
00:21:04,013 --> 00:21:06,432 Everybody in town is upset with you, young man.
00:21:06,557 --> 00:21:07,642 What's going on?
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,102 Are you on drugs?
00:21:09,227 --> 00:21:11,604 It's not Stan's fault.
00:21:11,729 --> 00:21:13,523 Huh? - It wasn't Stan.
00:21:13,648 --> 00:21:15,358 He was--
00:21:15,483 --> 00:21:18,027 He was with me the whole time.
00:21:18,152 --> 00:21:20,363 Oh. Well, Stan, we're, uh--
00:21:20,488 --> 00:21:22,615 we're sorry we jumped to conclusions.
00:21:22,740 --> 00:21:23,741 Oh, honey.
00:21:23,866 --> 00:21:25,576 Please forgive us, son.
00:21:27,996 --> 00:21:30,290 Shelly, you saved my life.
00:21:30,415 --> 00:21:32,750 And yet you've done so much more than that.
00:21:32,875 --> 00:21:34,961 Today you've taught me the meaning of family.
00:21:35,086 --> 00:21:36,587 Sure, families don't always get along.
00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:38,756 But when the forces of evil descend upon us,
00:21:38,881 --> 00:21:40,675 we conquer them by sticking together.
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,885 [smacking and grunting]
00:21:43,011 --> 00:21:44,721 [rats chattering]
00:21:44,846 --> 00:21:46,139 [lawn mower purring]
00:21:46,264 --> 00:21:49,267 [lawn mower buzzing]
00:21:53,021 --> 00:21:54,981 Everyone, let's give Casey and his weed a big hand.
00:21:55,106 --> 00:21:56,524 [tepid applause]
00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:57,734 Okay, Kyle, we're ready to see
00:21:57,859 --> 00:21:59,360 your science project.
00:21:59,485 --> 00:22:01,279 Well, our pig hasn't given birth yet.
00:22:01,404 --> 00:22:03,114 But she should any time now.
00:22:03,239 --> 00:22:04,699 Oh, well, then I guess you get an F.
00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:06,159 Okay, Terrance, I know the class
00:22:06,284 --> 00:22:08,578 can hardly wait to see yours.
00:22:08,703 --> 00:22:10,038 Thank you, Mr. Garrison.
00:22:10,163 --> 00:22:12,665 Boys, Mr. Garrison, fellow students,
00:22:12,790 --> 00:22:14,292 for our science fair project
00:22:14,417 --> 00:22:16,002 Bill Fossey and I have spawned a creature
00:22:16,127 --> 00:22:18,129 genetically far superior to man.
00:22:18,254 --> 00:22:19,464 I present to you
00:22:19,589 --> 00:22:21,507 the five-assed monkey.
00:22:21,632 --> 00:22:23,051 [grumbles]
00:22:23,176 --> 00:22:25,178 Oh, Mr. Hat, isn't it beautiful?
00:22:25,303 --> 00:22:27,180 [applause]
00:22:27,305 --> 00:22:29,974 Wait, wait, the pig just gave birth!
00:22:30,099 --> 00:22:31,225 It had a baby!
00:22:31,351 --> 00:22:32,602 [kids chattering indistinctly]
00:22:32,727 --> 00:22:34,187 What's it look like?
00:22:34,312 --> 00:22:35,855 Does it look like a pig or elephant?
00:22:40,276 --> 00:22:43,237 It kind of looks like Mr. Garrison.
00:22:43,363 --> 00:22:46,407 Oh, gee, isn't that an amazing coincidence?
00:22:46,532 --> 00:22:48,493 What are the odds of that?
00:22:48,618 --> 00:22:50,203 Hmm.
00:22:50,328 --> 00:22:52,246 You boys get first prize.
00:22:52,372 --> 00:22:54,957 [applause]
00:22:55,083 --> 00:22:56,959 That'll do, pig.
00:22:58,127 --> 00:23:01,005 <i>[twangy music]</i>
00:23:01,130 --> 00:23:08,137 ♪♪

Скриншоты

Слон занимается любовью со свиньёй — скриншот 1

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